#idk if this counts as torturing myself at this point

[kingkatsuki]

[nyatawia]

Komi can’t communicate hits a little bit too close to home

[bvidzsoo]

Your desire

⬦Sugar daddy!Seonghwa⬦

TW: suggestive

Word count: 3,9k

A/N: I hate the grip Ateez has on me, I have never ever written so many drabbles or whatever, I'm a long story kinda gal but here they are...torturing me. Anyways, Seonghwa went ahead and posted on IG today and when I saw him my mind instantly went omg that's some sugar daddy vibes, idk why, don't ask, thank you. Feedback is very much so appreciated! Enjoy!

            I really would have never imagined a year ago that I would be attending such an event like this one. It was even shocking to myself. But it looked like I was the only one who felt out of place as the people surrounding me seemed to know each other as they indulged in small talk and friendly chatter as if they were old friends catching up. The silky dress felt too tight against my skin and I couldn’t help but pull on it, hoping by some miracle that it would loosen up and wouldn’t wrap around my ribs as it was trying to suffocate me. The little golden purse I clutched in my hands tightly was expensive, too expensive, an item I could’ve never afforded by myself. I wasn’t into fancy things, so even if I could’ve afforded it at some point in life, I still wouldn’t have purchased it. The faces of people seemed to merge into one as I took a sip of my champagne, smiling politely when the older man next to me pointed his glass in my direction before taking a sip himself. I wished I were invisible, but the red dress and the red matching lips only placed me in the spotlight. And if it weren’t for my outfit, being by the side of Park Seonghwa, a successful and young CEO, definitely put me in the spotlight. I could feel the curious gazes of men and women alike, even the envy as some whispered as Seonghwa and I glided through the crowd, wanting to reach the bar. He said he needed something strong, perhaps some whiskey, as the people around us were giving him a headache. Currently, we were conversing with an elderly pair who were big names in the makeup industry, Choi San having joined us not too long ago. He was a rising CEO, almost always in the spotlight, as his magazine was becoming bigger and bigger, visited by more and more celebrities lately. He was Seonghwa’s biggest competitor, constantly challenging him publicly and often mentioning him when it had nothing to do with Seonghwa. Choi San liked to provoke people and taunt, living off of the hate and attention directed his way. I didn’t need to have a PhD in psychology to spot all these things, it was clear as day as he flashed his white teeth in the direction of the elderly pair, bragging about last month’s issue and how much money it made. The elderly pair didn’t seem too impressed, but they congratulated him before diverting their attention back onto Seonghwa, who was patiently waiting for San to stop his theatrics. If I wouldn’t have known Seonghwa so well, I would’ve never known he was irritated, his jaw barely clenched, grip just a little too tight on his glass of champagne. I quietly cleared my throat, getting his attention. His round eyes watched me, face devoid of any emotion, but the glimmer in his eyes assured me that he was feeling fine. I offered him a small smile and his cheeks twitched before he looked away, focusing back on the elderly pair. They were laughing about something I didn’t bother paying attention to, eyes falling on an already staring Choi San as I took another sip of my champagne. It almost made me choke; I couldn’t deny that he was a good-looking man, but I only had eyes for Seonghwa. At least for now.

“I’ve heard about the deal you made with an American firm,” San spoke up with a smirk, one eyebrow raised in Seonghwa’s direction, “Congratulations, breaking through on the American market isn’t something easy.”

Seonghwa chuckled, but it lacked humor, “San, when I made my breakthrough on the American market you were still running around, trying to find a headquarter for your company.”

The elderly pair laughed at the very harmless jab, but San’s smirk slightly faded, annoyed by Seonghwa’s comeback. He was probably right, but I wouldn’t know, I have never been interested in their world of business.

“You look gorgeous, Y/N.” The sudden shift of conversation made me tense as the eyes of four people fell on me, San’s a little hungrier than the rest. I forced a smile on my face, grip tightening on the glass of champagne. I wished the dress didn’t show as much cleavage as it did, and that my hair wasn’t in a low bun, unable to cover my shoulders, “Isn’t that necklace—”

“The latest Saint Laurent Teardrop Chain Links Necklace?” Seonghwa raised an eyebrow before taking a sip of his whiskey, “It is, San. And it’s custom made.”

San’s eyes fell back one me and I cleared my throat, feeling awkward, as the elderly lady eyed me a little bit suspiciously, I felt obliged to speak up, “It’s not something I usually wear, but Seonghwa insisted.”

“I think I have seen that dress on a magazine cover, not too long ago.” The elderly lady noted, eyes narrowed at me. I felt like they could tell how poor I actually was compared to them. It felt like a paper with the words ‘intruder’ was glued to my back and everyone was staring, pointing their fingers at me, or whispering vile things. I gulped, but before I could speak up, I felt an arm sneak around my shoulders, squeezing my arm lightly.

“You have seen it right, then, Mrs. Eom, it was on my magazine.” Seonghwa said with a smirk, sending me a wink which made me slightly blush. The day he saw it on the mannequin he sent me a picture and texted me that he’d get it for me. I refused, because it was truly too much and it also cost a lot, and also, I didn’t really have a fitting event where I would wear it to. So, I guess Seonghwa had to do something about that and that’s how I was dragged along to this fundraiser for disabled people. This wasn’t something which had been in the contract I have signed two months ago, but I didn’t dare bring it up when Seonghwa showed up to my apartment in the morning, holding two designer boxes and a designer paper bag. He said he didn’t have time to have breakfast with me, but he expected to see me in the evening, wearing everything he handed me. Before I could accept or refuse him, he was running off, phone at his ear as he spoke to someone important. I could only sigh and hope for a dinner in a very fancy restaurant, instead I found myself at a place infested with very important and insanely rich people. I was sure I even saw the prime minister like half an hour ago.

“Oh, delightful!” Mrs. Eom exclaimed, but no emotion came through her voice, eyes watching me almost accusingly. Why did an old hag have beef with me when she didn’t even know me? Before I could say something inappropriate, Seonghwa gave my shoulder another squeeze, swiftly taking his arm off my body. He seemed to know me well too, a glance at my face and he was able to tell what I was feeling and thinking. We hadn’t spent too much time together in these past two months, but it felt like we understood each other on a deeper level, beyond words even. I looked around as the orchestra started playing, the front of the room slightly clearing as people made place for those dancing. My eyes fell back onto Seonghwa, and as his eyes were trained somewhere else, I dared staring at him openly. He was an absolutely gorgeous man, breathtaking even. His black hair was slicked back with three strands framing the right side of his face, longer strands than the others poking around on his nape. His shoulders were relaxed yet his posture was straight and proper. His silky black shirt, with three buttons undone at the top, was tucked inside his black dress pants, an Yves Saint Laurent belt keeping his outfit together. The black velvet coat reached just bellow his thighs and his Yves Saint Laurent shoulder bag had been disregarded a while ago at the table we sat at. Despite my obvious staring, Seonghwa remained oblivious to it, however, San didn’t. His eyes were narrowed and lips pulled into a grin as we made eye contact. My cheeks burned and I quickly averted my eyes. Catching feelings wasn’t written into the contract, or what would happen if Seonghwa and I did fall for each other, a thing which was far from happening. I wasn’t in love with him, but I had eyes, and I found him extremely attractive. Whether he was dressed up or wore something casual, Seonghwa always looked spectacular. As a waiter passed with a tray in their hands, San quickly placed his empty glass on it and cleared his throat, interlacing his hands in front of himself.

“Miss Y/N, may I have the honor to dance with you first tonight?” San’s eyebrows were raised as he looked at me with a smirk and I stared at him without a reaction. Was I allowed to dance with him? Seonghwa was right next to me, he certainly wouldn’t like that. And I didn’t want to dance with him either, he sometimes made me feel very uncomfortable with his unnecessary comments and over the top compliments. But before anyone could interject, San took two steps towards me and then grabbed my left hand carefully, a smile erupting on his face, “Come.”

And before I could refuse him, he was pulling me after himself, making me hand my purse over to Seonghwa in a hurry as San lead the way to the dance floor. I felt awkward as curious eyes watched us, some people greeting San as we passed by. His grip turned firm and I could feel my palm get sweaty as I braced myself for what was to come. It couldn’t be that bad, besides, I would only dance with him for a short amount of time before I would excuse myself to the bathroom in hopes of getting away from him. San stopped in the center, facing me with a charming smile, sharp eyes watching me closely. I cleared my throat and placed my hand on his shoulder, allowing his hand on my lower back to pull me closer towards himself. I slightly tensed, but willed myself to relax in his arms. I didn’t quite enjoy dancing with Seonghwa’s competitor and biggest rival, especially not when I knew how much distaste Seonghwa had towards San.

“Fancy seeing you here tonight, Y/N,” San spoke up as he swayed us to the slow beat of the orchestra, “I didn’t think you’d attend such an event.”

San didn’t know what type of relationship was between Seonghwa and I, but he has seen us together quite often, always bugging Seonghwa whether I was his girlfriend or not. I most certainly wasn’t.

“It came as a surprise to me as well.” I admitted quietly, focusing on not stepping on San’s feet or on my own dress. The high heels were also slightly uncomfortable, I couldn’t help but be hyperaware of every move I made.

“So, Seonghwa didn’t plan on bringing you along, huh?” A satisfied smirk made it onto San’s face and I sighed, looking over his shoulder.

“He most certainly did since I’m here, don’t you think?” I couldn’t help but slightly snap, sending him the smallest glare as we made eye contact.

“Of course,” San chuckled, pulling his eyebrows up, “he wouldn’t want to leave behind his eye candy.”

His comment didn’t sit well with me, but I just bit the inside of my cheek and let it go, not wanting to give San the satisfaction of seeing me annoyed. He waited a few more seconds, probably thinking I was formulating my answer, but when the silence continued to stretch on, San chuckled to himself, looking amused as I dared take a glance at him.

“Everything you’re wearing tonight is quite expensive, isn’t it?” He continued, eyes running over my frame. It certainly felt uncomfortable as I could easily spot the lust in them as his eyes stayed a little too long on my exposed collarbones.

“Yes, they were expensive.” I hummed, looking over his shoulder when San glanced at my face.

“Bought them yourself?” His tone feigned innocence, but the smirk on his lips made it obvious that he was prodding and jabbing, “Didn’t think a university student could afford all of these things, to be honest.”

I gulped as my throat felt suddenly dry, heartrate picking up. Of course I couldn’t afford what I was wearing tonight, two months ago I could barely pay rent and the tuition fees for my course at the university. Seonghwa seemed like an angel in disguise at the time, however, lately I’ve been feeling guilty for accepting all of his money instead of trying to make some myself. In my defense, my itinerary was so packed I could barely find a place which would hire me even half norm, it was frustrating.

“Some of these were gifts.” I opted to answer, clearing my throat when San’s fingers slightly dug into my lower back, pulling me even closer to himself. Our bodies were almost touching, his musky scent invaded my nostrils. I certainly didn’t like it.

“You know,” He spoke up again, eyebrows furrowed, “Seonghwa is quite known for changing partners after like…half a year, I guess his standards are too high or something. Unless…”

My heartbeat paused for a second as I looked San in the eyes, “Unless, you’re not his girlfriend but his whore—”

“I think you’ve spent enough time with Y/N for a lifetime, Choi San.” The sudden harsh voice made me flinch as I carefully peeled myself away from San, heart beating like crazy as I turned my head. I was met with a furious looking Seonghwa, kind eyes pulled into slits as he glared San down, jaw clenched. I noticed the people around us glancing our way, and when my eyes fell on San his chest was puffed out and eyes challenging as he stared down the taller man.

“Seonghwa,” I whispered and curled my fingers around his bicep, getting his attention, “He’s not worth causing a scene, let it go.”

His eyes bore into mine as I heard San scoff at my words, but before he could open his annoying mouth and say something else, Seonghwa gripped the hand I had around his bicep and peeled it off, hand slipping to my wrist as he turned around and took off, steps hurried. I struggled to keep up with him in my high heels and even ran into someone, having to hastily apologize as Seonghwa wasn’t stopping anytime soon. I noticed the direction we were storming in, the restrooms. I gulped and realized Seonghwa was angry and needed time away from everyone, probably to give me a lecture and break off the contract we had. I could only hope he wouldn’t ask for the money back; I couldn’t remember if that was a clause or not in the contract. We rounded the corner and Seonghwa kicked the door of the restroom open with his foot, shoulders raising and falling rapidly as we entered the men’s restroom. A guy, who looked like security, was washing his hands, pausing when he noticed us.

“Sir—”

“Get out.” Seonghwa’s voice was low as he glared at the poor security guard, who seemed to be speechless for a few seconds.

“This is the men’s restroom—”

“And I said, get out.” Seonghwa emphasized his words again, staring daggers at the unbudging security guard, seemingly a glaring match breaking out between them. My nerves were rising, and I tapped my heel against the floor, biting my lower lip when nobody moved.

“Seonghwa.” I called out for him, but he didn’t look away from the security guard. However, the man broke his staring contest and looked at me, taken aback.

“Park Seonghwa?” He asked amazed and as I nodded, he quickly bowed his head and scurried out, making me let out a long sigh. My shoulders slouched forward as I pulled my hand out of Seonghwa’s, which made him whirl around and look at me with a sharp stare. I gulped and suddenly felt small underneath his eyes as his fury was directed at me only.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to dance with San, but I don’t think I had much of a chance,” I found myself explaining quickly, “And I didn’t want to cause a scene which would damage your reputation.”

Seonghwa took in a deep breath before releasing it, jaw clenching, “You’re not my whore, Y/N, you’re my sugar baby.”

I bit my lower lip, the term still making me feel slightly uncomfortable. I don’t think I could ever get used to it. I looked at the floor as Seonghwa sighed loudly again, realizing that he was angry at San and not me, having overheard his words.

“Yeah, I know.” I muttered as I saw Seonghwa’s polished shoes come into view as I was still looking down.

“You didn’t want to come tonight and I forced you into coming, I’m sorry.” His voice was soft and he looked guilty as I looked up at him, eyebrows furrowing.

“You didn’t force me, what are you talking about?” I asked confused.

“I saw how uncomfortable you were feeling all night.” He explained, playing with the rings on his fingers, “I also should’ve chosen a dress less revealing knowing your preferences, I’m sorry for that too—”

“Seonghwa, this dress is gorgeous!” I said with a chuckle as I pointed at it, hands shimmying down my hips, “Albeit a bit too revealing, and too expensive, but it’s beautiful and I appreciate your gesture, I hope you know that. Regardless of how I’ve been feeling tonight.”

Seonghwa gulped and took a step closer, eyes running over my frame before he looked back up into my eyes, “You are gorgeous, not the dress, Y/N. That’s just a piece of fabric.”

My cheeks flushed at his words and I averted my eyes shyly, feeling Seonghwa’s soft fingers grip my chin as he made me look at him again. He stepped even closer and his warmth wrapped around me, fruity scent enveloping me and making me shiver. Seonghwa certainly noticed as he studied my face for a reaction, but I was trying hard to contain the fluster I was feeling and my frantic heartbeat.

“Our contract is coming to an end next month,” Seonghwa whispered, as if he was afraid anyone would hear us, there was nobody but us inside the spacious and marble covered restroom, “Let’s extend it for another six months.”

“Six months?” I asked surprised, remembering well that Seonghwa’s contracts only lasted for three months. He hummed and nodded as he closed the gap between our bodies, tilting my head slightly up. It was rare that he stood so close and held me so boldly. We were rarely physical with each other, the occasional hand holding and kisses on the cheeks happened when I was feeling down or Seonghwa was feeling tired, and we made out a couple of times here and there when we were drunk. The contract made it clear that everything had to be consensual and if one person refused, it shouldn’t be brought up until they were ready to talk about it or made it obvious that they wanted it to happen. Seonghwa was a respectful and well-mannered man, there were few others like him, if none at all. My lips slightly parted as Seonghwa’s eyes fell on my lips and I closed my eyes when he started leaning in slowly, lips pressing against mine carefully, experimentally. It was so light that if I were to pull away, it felt like it never happened, but instead, I pressed myself firmly against him, Seonghwa’s hand coming to hold the side of my face. Our lips moved slowly against each other, testing, searching, savoring the other’s lips. My hands rested against his chest as his free hand went to hold my waist, slowly slipping to the place where San held onto earlier, my lower back. This time, goosebumps erupted on my skin and I slightly shuddered against Seonghwa as his long fingers dug into my skin, his lips picking up pace. I matched his feverish kisses, desperately wanting to tangle my fingers into the hair against his nape, but not wanting to mess up his hairstyle, so instead, I gripped the collar of his velvet coat, my other hand going around his shoulder. Seonghwa pulled me into himself totally, chests pressing together painfully as he sucked on my lower lip, carefully pressing his tongue against my mouth. I understood what he wanted and parted my lips for him, granting him access as he tilted my head up even more, hands clutching onto me firmly, his tongue carefully exploring my warm mouth. He tasted like the whiskey he had been drinking, and cherry. He loved cherry candies; he had probably eaten one not long before. My nose pushed against his cheek as our tongues tangled together, lapping at each other, a fire ignited inside me as my hand slipped up to his nape. Before I could second guess myself, I allowed my fingers to tangle into the short strands and I tugged on them, Seonghwa’s hand abruptly slipping down to my ass as he gave it a firm squeeze, making me gasp into his mouth. He took that momentum to suck on my tongue and suddenly my knees felt weak from the lack of air, but not just. I could devour him right here, but that wasn’t very lady like, nor too smart. Anyone could enter the restroom anytime. And despite the urgency in Seonghwa’s kiss, he sucked on my lower lip as he pulled back, pressing his forehead against mine. He was panting and I had to wipe the corner of my mouth as saliva threatened to drip down.

“Let’s do six months.” I rasped out, in the process of catching my breath. As I opened my eyes, I watched as Seonghwa’s teeth was attached to his plump lower lip, a deep hum leaving his throat as he agreed with my final answer.

“Good, I’ve still got a lot to offer to you.” He said as he opened his eyes and a smile instantly appeared on his lips. And then, his finger was rubbing underneath my lower lip and the corner of my mouth, chuckling as my own eyes fell onto Seonghwa’s unnaturally red lips. It made me blush as I allowed him to fix me up, hand giving my ass another squeeze, making me gasp as I jumped. The amused smile disappeared from his lips as a pleased smirk took its place.

“Let’s dance?” He asked and I nodded wordlessly, mesmerized by his voice and eyes as Seonghwa took a step back, hands falling from my body as I detached myself from him too, gulping nervously. He extended a hand and I placed my palm in his, fingers intertwining as he lead us towards the door.

I wouldn’t mind having Seonghwa as my sugar daddy for another six months, not if he would kiss me again and again like he kissed me tonight.

Masterlist (divider)

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Oh look another chapter

We'll I'll be damned.

Mihawk has yet to grace us with his presence here, but I always love writing Garp's unhinged unpredictable ass, and I'm quite enjoying portraying Bogard for the first time as well. There's just something about a tall mysterious dude with a signature hat that I'll always enjoy.

A few notes this time:

I've determined that Mihawk would be around 28/29 years old in this timeline.

I'll be operating under the assumption that zoan-type devil fruit users aren't able to communicate with actual animals.

Can't find any actual source regarding Bogard's Marine rank. There is speculation that, by his coat, he is likely a vice admiral himself in the canon timeline. I'm operating under the assumption here then that, as Garp's right hand, he was likely promoted after Garp, so at this point in time I'm going with Rear Admiral, one rank below Garp. If anyone knows otherwise for a fact, please tell me so I can correct it, because I'm a chronic canon-junkie.

Reader is 21 years old; having consumed a devil fruit at six years old, and fifteen years having since passed.

It's not specified exactly when Mihawk took up residence on Kuraigana Island, from what I can tell. I could be wrong, and there could be some slight deviation from canon in that respect, but I'll let that slide this time for the sake of narrative. At this point he's not necessarily living there, but he has already used it as a hideout and is considering the idea. So while it's not exclusively his territory yet, he's essentially the only person who's bothered with the place.

This is looking like it's going to be more than three chapters for sure. Maybe five or six? I can at least promise that Mihawk will be in the next chapter.

Inserting obligatory Mihawk gif for tax reasons

dreamy sigh

what was I doing...?

o right uhhhhm

Flight Risk

Young!Mihawk x Marine!AFAB!Reader

Ch. 2 of like five or something idk

Previous Chapter Link , Next Chapter Link

SFW for now, but not in later chapters

Possible trigger warning for bullying. Possible future trigger warnings for imprisonment, mild torture (definitely psychological, maybe physical)

Tags: Enemies to lovers, eventually NSFW, idk maybe more later

Word Count: 3,794

♫♬Shotgun Shoes — The Fratellis♬♫Well I don't need your or your psychosisI can get to crazy by myself

You weren’t given any further details just yet. At your firm acceptance of what was perhaps the most insane idea you had ever heard, Garp immediately placed a call back to headquarters to inform Fleet Admiral Sengoku, quite smugly, that he would be going forward with Project Macaw. Still feeling borderline delirious, you barely heard yourself saying something about how gray parrots weren’t technically classified as macaws before Bogard, pinching at the bridge of his nose, jerked his head toward the door, indicating for you to follow him out of the office. It was difficult to truly wrap your head around the gravity of the situation yet. None of it quite seemed real.

Bogard pulled the door shut after them in the hallway outside, muffling Garp’s jovial gloating. For a long moment Bogard frowned down at you, arms crossed, clearly far less pleased. Several seconds passed before expelled an irritated sigh.

“You’ll need to pack your belongings immediately, cadet. Come on,” he said, turning on his heel and heading down the hall, not bothering to glance back and see if you were following. You had to force yourself to move, your feet feeling as if they had been replaced with lead weights. “Should any of your comrades ask, you are to tell them no more than that you’re being transferred to another base for reasons you are unable to disclose.”

“Can…I tell anyone where?” you asked. He did glance at you at this, his gaze sharp. “Not—just—my mom. She writes to me every week.”

“You are being transferred to a base in the Grand Line, where you will be receiving special training to hone your devil fruit powers,” he said curtly. You nodded quickly, not keen on pressing the subject too hard when the officer was already clearly annoyed. “She will be able to write you once we’ve arrived there. Should you release any information to anyone regarding the nature of your mission, you will be discharged from service at best.”

“A…and…at worst…?”

“You could be charged with treason and executed.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but all that left your throat at first was a strangled sort of squeak. The matter-of-fact way he had just told you that letting any details at all slip could lead to your untimely death didn’t help the surreal feeling that this was all a ridiculous dream. After pulling in a deep breath, you managed to force out weakly, “Understood, sir.”

Silence fell as you followed Bogard in the direction of barracks. Most of the other cadets would still be in the mess hall for dinner at this hour, and that left you with at least the comfort that you wouldn’t have to contend with too many questions—or too much taunting. The closer you drew to your destination, the more that surreal feeling seemed to float away to be replaced by the horrific weight of reality. You had been enlisted for only a few short months, made into a laughingstock when your fellow cadets discovered your devil fruit powers, and now you were being carted off to use those exact powers to assist in bringing down one of the deadliest men in the world.

A small part of you felt a degree of pride at the prospect that, for once, someone thought you might be remotely useful, but that part was a tiny whisper among the screaming terror occupying your head. Even once you reached the blessedly empty barracks and set to quickly and haphazardly packing your few personal belongings, as Bogard loomed silently beside the door waiting with his arms crossed, you couldn’t shake Garp’s reasoning for all of this coming down to that one ridiculous claim.

Let’s face it—pirates like parrots.

You swallowed as you stuffed your spare uniforms into a trunk, glancing toward Bogard, drawing up enough resolve to speak to the tall, imposing officer.

“I…is the vice admiral always so…”

“Barking mad?” he offered dully, and your mouth snapped shut. You weren’t sure whether to agree with such a harsh statement about such a high ranking Marine. Bogard saved you the trouble. “Yes. He is.”

“Ah. Right. Great.” You swallowed, turning your attention back to packing your belongings. You had nearly finished now and there would be plenty of time for questions later once you had gathered your thoughts. Right now, it was better that you try to finish before—

The door to the barracks opened and you froze for a moment in folding your dress uniform, your eyes darting to the door as a few other cadets filed in. They spotted you immediately, taking no notice of Bogard’s statuesque form standing to the side, already snickering as they approached the side of your bunk.

“What’s this? They finally decide to send you packing, bird brain?”

“Figures. We missed you at dinner. Brought ya some snacks.”

You only rolled your eyes as one of them pulled a small pack of crackers from their pocket, opened it, and crumbled them over top of the contents of your trunk.

“Aw, cat got your tongue, Polly?” You still held your tongue as he pulled your trunk across your bunk, rifling through it.”Where the hell are you going, anyway?”

“Your fellow cadet is being transferred to the Grand Line at the request of Vice Admiral Garp.”

The three of them froze when Bogard spoke up behind them, before slowly turning their heads to look over their shoulders. You had to bite your tongue to keep from laughing as they all immediately turned around and stood at attention. Bogard didn’t budge an inch, arms still crossed, still leaning against the stone wall beside the door, his sharp eyes flashing between each of them from beneath the brim of his hat.

“I’m afraid none of you are of high enough rank to be provided further details,” he said in a clipped tone. “Nor likely will you ever be, should you continue to treat your own brethren with such blatant disrespect.”

They remained speechless as you closed your trunk, looking rather as if their souls had evacuated the premises of their bodies. Bogard stepped away from the wall, straightening out his posture as you dragged your trunk off of the bunk mattress.

“Come along, cadet.” He was already turning toward the door. “Garp doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

You hurried after him without a glance back at them, dragging your trunk along behind you. You only looked back over your shoulder once you were several feet down the hall—and, at the sight of the idiots standing in the door, whispering amongst themselves and watching your departure, you quickly turned your gaze forward again. Even with your things now packed, none of it seemed real. As much as you would have loved to derive some pleasure from their stunned expressions, you found it impossible with the way your head was spinning.

You remained silent the entire way back to the door of the office. Bogard instructed you to wait there before stepping inside and shutting the door behind him, and you could do nothing more than stand there with a dumbfounded look on your face as you stood there in the empty hallway, still wondering what the hell sort of mess you had gotten yourself into.

How it all stemmed back to that day fifteen years ago, when you and a couple of your friends had ventured out to look for a crow with an injured wing that had escaped from your mother’s aviary. When you found it at the edge of the woods, pecking at a strange fruit with a swirling pattern across its skin sitting at the base of a mango tree, and the three of you speculated how it might be a devil fruit and spent the afternoon daring each other to eat it after returning the bird home.

How you had been the one to finally pick the thing up and take a bite out of it to end the argument.

How nothing had happened for almost a week, until you were startled by a particularly surly cockatoo attacking your hair while you were helping feed the birds and, to your mother’s horror, promptly transformed into a gray parrot.

It had taken some time for you to learn to control your ability to transform, largely for the simple sake of not turning into a bird every time you were startled. You had found little use for the ability otherwise, apart from pulling the occasional prank on your mom or your friends. The ability to fly was definitely a perk, but apart from that it really had seemed to be an absurd ability to gain in exchange for the curse of forever being unable to come into contact with the sea.

You jolted a in surprise, startled from your thoughts when the office door opened and Bogard emerged. You had taken a seat on your trunk while you waited, looking up at him as he shut the door quietly behind him.

“Garp will be with us shortly,” he said shortly. You nodded, watching him lean against the wall next to the door, lowering the brim of his hat over his eyes and crossing his arms once more.

You lowered your own gaze to your knees, your stomach churning as your thoughts returned to the here and now. Swallowing, wringing your hands in your lap, still trying and still failing to wrap your head around the reality of all of this.

“Your abilities were leaked by Petty Officer on base.” Your breath caught when Bogard spoke up amid the silence. You glanced up, but his eyes were still concealed in the shadow of the brim of his hat. “He’s been bumped back down to the rank of Seaman as punishment for divulging confidential information.”

“O…oh.” You weren’t sure of exactly how else to respond. You had assumed that something of the sort had happened a few weeks ago, when everyone was suddenly privy to your powers. “That’s…a pity.”

“You’re not interested in who it was?” His tone remained short, level, and you lifted your eyebrows. Of course you were curious. You had wondered since it happened. But at the same time…

You shook your head, lowering your gaze again and huffing out a small sigh. “It’s not important,” you said. “I figured it would happen eventually anyway. Doesn’t really matter who spilled the beans.”

 “And you have no interest in revenge?” Your eyes shot back up to the imposing officer at his blunt question, widening.

“N…no,” you said, shaking your head quickly. “That...wouldn’t accomplish any…”

Your mouth turned down in a frown as you carefully considered your words. The past few weeks had been hell, sure. You had considered giving up more than once, going home, forgetting that you ever even bothered trying—but you had forced yourself to stick it out. You hadn’t enlisted to make friends, you had enlisted because you wanted to make the world better, safer for everyone. The same reason your father had enlisted.

“I don’t care about a few morons throwing crackers at me and calling me stupid names,” you said finally, shrugging a shoulder. “If I wanted things to be easy I wouldn’t be here. I would have stayed home and helped my mom.”

“I take it you’re close with her.” You swallowed, giving a short nod. “According to your file you have no other family. You’re aware that should you die in the line of duty, she will be—”

“I know,” you interjected before he could finish, flinching as your reminded yourself that you were speaking to a superior officer. “I—sorry, sir, I—” He waved a hand dismissively, and you heaved a sigh. “I…knew that when I enlisted. So does she. It doesn’t change anything. If I…if I die in the line of duty, at least I lived for long enough to try to make the world better.” You slowly lowered your gaze, closing your eyes. “My dad always said there was a difference between living and surviving,” you continued on quietly. “I…guess I’m starting to understand what he meant.”

“Hmm.”

His short hum betrayed no more emotion than his brief and curt manner of speaking, and it remained the only communication between you for some time. Long enough for you to realize that no matter how much you had hated enduring the endless ridicule of your fellow cadets, no matter how terrified you were of this mission, that there was no room for doubt. That you could have declined without any consequence, and you hadn’t. That given the opportunity to change your mind, you wouldn’t.

You would do everything in your power to help take down Dracule Mihawk before he could further his career of bloodshed and terror, even if it was the last thing you ever did.

“Then perhaps the old moron was right.”

You glanced up at Bogard at the quiet statement, but before you could so much as wonder what he meant, the office door flung open and Garp, the old moron himself, stepped out into the hallway. He stopped in front of you, looking down, grinning as broadly as he had when you first accepted this mission.

“On your feet, cadet.” You quickly pulled yourself to your feet, straightening your posture into a salute. He gave an amused snort at the display, clapping you on the shoulder. “We’re bound for the Grand Line.”

You had to nearly jog, dragging your trunk along behind you, to keep up with the vice and rear admirals as you wound through the corridors of the small base you had come to briefly call home over the past few months. They spoke amongst themselves in hushed tones as they walked ahead of you, occasionally glancing back to ensure you were keeping up. You mostly kept your head down, your heart racing in your chest the whole way out to the docks, onto the deck of Garp’s distinctive battleship, with its canine figurehead that so many pirates had come to fear.

You were told that the journey to the base in the Grand Line would span the better part of a month, shown around the ship, given a rundown of your duties and your new training schedule. It felt no less surreal as the ship left the dock, as you sat at the edge of your bunk in the ship barracks and stared at the opposite wall, barely registering the slow swaying of the vessel beneath your feet as it sailed west.

After a long moment, you pulled your trunk open, digging past the cracker crumbs and uniforms, finding a pad of paper and a pen, steadying your hand and your mind the best you could to write something coherent.

Hey, Mom!

How are things going? I’m being transferred to a new base for special training around my feathery little problem. I can’t really say much about it, but I’ll be sure to give you an address once I have it. It’s on the Grand Line. I’m a little nervous, but I feel like things are going to be a lot better now. Like I know what I’m really here for.

And I won’t have to deal with the idiots anymore, so it’s kind of a win either way.

It’ll take about a month to make it there. I’ll write you any time I can. Tell everyone I miss them.

Love you, and miss you most.

You signed your name at the bottom, tearing the paper off and folding it, staring down at the brief letter for a long moment before standing to make your way out of the barracks and send it off.

You hadn’t expected your duties to cease or lessen simply because you were traveling, and you were right in that assumption. Between regular daily drill and duties aboard the ship, you spent the vast majority of what would have been your free time training in both combat and studying espionage. You were expected to be awake hours earlier than the rest of the crew, to fall into your bunk hours past when everyone else had gone to bed for the evening. Most mornings you felt dead on your feet, but you persevered, reminded yourself that this was the easy part.

The hard part would be the mission itself.

Beyond exhausted at a few weeks into the journey, averaging less than six hours of sleep a night. The last thing you wanted to deal with was being unceremoniously awoken before morning.

And yet, at the sound of your name being spoken sharply, your eyes snapped open.

You squinted against the dim orange light bathing your corner of the barracks, barely registering for a moment that it wasn’t the light of the morning sun creeping in through the rounded windows. The sky outside was still inky black and speckled with stars, and you frowned as your eyes found the source of the light—a lantern. A lit lantern, which Bogard was holding up, looking no less disgruntled about being there than you were at being awake. You grunted as you rubbed your eyes, sitting up.

“What time’s it…?” you grumbled.

“Late,” he said. “Vice Admiral Garp has requested your presence on the quarterdeck. No need,” he added over you groan of protest, when you reached down toward your trunk to grab a uniform to throw on over your tank-top and shorts. “This isn’t for training.”

“What’s he want, then?” you said, grabbing a pair of sweats instead. “Does he even sleep?”

“I’ve worked alongside Garp for the better part of two decades,” said Bogard, leading the way out of the barracks. “I still have no idea what goes on in that thick skull of his most of the time.”

You couldn’t help but wonder whether anyone did.

The main deck was empty save for the handful of Marines working the graveyard shift, all but silent with the exception of the rolling waves below as the battleship cut through the relatively calm waters. You wrapped your arms around your torso when the chilly night air hit you, rubbing at your arms as Bogard gestured for you to go ahead and left you to whatever business Garp had cooked up for you. You yawned as you climbed the stairs to the quarterdeck, where you found the man standing at the port side railing, staring out toward an island in the distance.

“Kuraigana Island,” he said as you stopped next to him. “Ever heard of it, cadet?”

“Ah…no, sir,” you responded blankly, looking out at it yourself. It was difficult to gauge the distance in the dark, but it had to be at least half a mile away, if not more. The landscape appeared to be covered largely in dense forest, but standing above the dark treetops was an old castle, silhouetted in the silvery moonlight.

“I guess not many have,” he said. “It was home to a small kingdom until recently. They had little contact with the outside world so it’s hard to say what happened. Most likely a civil war wiped out all the previous residents. Only supposed inhabitants now are a race of violent primates that attack anyone who ventures into the forests.”

“O…kay,” you said, slowly, wondering where this was going.

A small part of you wondering if you were about to be dropped off on the island to see if you could fight your way through. Your ability in combat had improved over the past few weeks of grueling training, but the mental image of being surrounded by an army of angry gorillas still flashed through your mind and caused you to give a wary glance toward Garp.

His gaze remained fixed on the island.

“We’ve received a few of reports about a small vessel anchored near the shore on a handful of occasions,” he said. “One matching the description of Hitsugibune.”

You froze, your eyes widening as your gaze slowly turned back toward the island. A few weeks ago, the name would have meant nothing to you. Now that you had learned more about the target of your mission, you knew exactly what Garp was referring to—the small, coffin-shaped, one man vessel of Dracule Mihawk. You swallowed, nodding briefly when you found yourself unable to speak.

“We’re not sure what the situation is,” said Garp, “but there’s a fair chance he’s using the ruins as a hideout. I suppose if anyone could get past the apes…” He leaned forward against the railing, scratching at his beard. “Well then. Think you’re up for a test?”

Oh gods, here it comes…

“Do I have a choice?” you said, and expelled a resigned sigh at Garp’s bark of laughter. “What do I need to do, sir?”

“That’s the spirit,” he said, straightening out, crossing his arms and looking down at you with a grin. “How far d’ya think you can fly with your devil fruit powers?”

You were suddenly a great deal more awake now.

“Further than I can walk,” you said slowly, lifting an eyebrow—you weren’t sure of exactly how far, but flying expelled a great deal less energy than walking.

“In that case,” he said, gesturing toward the island, “go get us a bird’s-eye view. See if there are any signs of life. I’d focus around the castle. Avoid flying too low over the forest for obvious reasons.”

“For obvious reasons,” you repeated in agreement, grimacing—the last thing you wanted was to be snatched out of the air by a pissed off gorilla. “Right…” You rubbed the back of your neck, looking out toward the island. “Should I go right now, sir?”

“No time like the present,” he said, grinning.

There was nothing else for it, then. Garp took a step back as you transformed, shrinking down into a gray parrot on the quarterdeck of the ship. “You’re to be gone no longer than half an hour, or I’ll have no choice but to send in reinforcements,” he said, looking down at you, watching you flap your wings a few times and fly up to the railing, perching there as he relayed the orders. “Should you see Dracule Mihawk, you’ll keep your distance. Fly over and return immediately. Reconnaissance only, no contact. Understood?”

You nodded, and lifted one of your wings, moving it to your head to mime a salute. He gave a snort of laughter at the sight.

“Good bird,” he said dryly, and made a shooing motion. “Now go ahead. Get moving, cadet.”

Before a single thought of trying to find some way out of this nonsense could form in your mind, you lifted off from the port side railing, and circled around in the air until you were heading out toward Kuraigana Island.

Previous chapter link again, for your convenience

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[floralpascal]

Hiii I love you work of Frankie <3 a request if you’re up for it, since I love your writing style and how you present him hehe

Something inspired by Billie’s Bossa Nova lines:

“You better lock your phone,

And look at me when we’re alone,

Won’t take a lot to get you going,

I’m sorry if it’s torture though,

I know I know”

Idk I see a shy Frankie and reader tilting his face towards her with her finger and whispering in his ear and sksksk go crazy please

You're an absolute genius for this idea! I love this song sooo much and my mind went wild with incorporating it into the story. I absolutely did not expect it to take this long or to write this much when I started. I also didn't expect this to turn into smut but here we are! I hope you like it!!

Bossa Nova

Summary: You and Frankie are both head-over-heels for each other... only neither of you realize the other is interested. When Santi sets you both up with mystery dates, you're both surprised to find that Santi has set you up with each other.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

Word Count: 6.3k

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: kissing, fingering, protected p-in-v sex, creampie

You shouldn’t have told Santi about it. You should’ve just kept your mouth shut. But how were you supposed to know that your vent session would lead to this?

The crux of the issue was that your dating life was beyond fruitless. Date after date, it always went the same. Either the spark wasn’t there, the conversation was as easy as pulling teeth, or the guy wouldn’t get off his damn phone long enough to genuinely interact with you. It had left you feeling more than a little frustrated. Had every good guy already been snatched up and now all you had to pick from were the leftovers? 

Or was it you? Was it the fact that the only guy you wanted to go on a date with was Santi’s best friend? You had been introduced to Frankie at one of Santi’s infamous cookouts. The same night that Santi had accidentally burnt your hamburgers to a crisp, you had met the sweetest man in the world. He had been quiet back then, the conversation a bit awkward. But after multiple nights out with Frankie, Santi, and the Miller brothers, you had slowly gotten to know Frankie better. And damn it he was driving you insane. Despite how down bad you were for him, it never went anywhere.

Of course the one guy you wanted didn’t feel the same.

“There’s just no single guy out there who actually wants to talk,” you lamented to your friend, Santi, one day. You hadn’t meant to rant like this when you had invited him over for dinner so the two of you could catch up. But after he asked how your last date had gone, a quizzical eyebrow raised from across the kitchen table, you hadn’t been able to stop from telling him. You continued, “No one even seems to care to be on the date at all. It’s like they don’t have anything better to do, so going on a date with me is their next best option, you know?”

Santi — who had been listening to your rant sympathetically for about five minutes — suddenly scrunched his eyebrows before a scheming smile slowly spread across his lips. 

You knew that look from a mile away. 

“No, no, no!” You warned preemptively. “Whatever crazy idea you just had: no.”

“What if I said I knew a great guy who’s single and thoughtful and would be perfect for you?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. Of course he would try to set you up. “Santi, no. I appreciate it but I’m done with the dating scene. I’ve embarrassed myself enough. I give up.”

He shook his head, that annoying grin still plastered to his face as he pointed his fork at you. “Nope, no quitter talk. I’m telling you, you’ll love this guy. I can’t believe I never realized how perfect you’d be for each other before now!”

“Santi-”

“Uh-uh. This is happening. You’re free on Friday, right? You’re going on a date with him. It’s a crime that you haven’t already.”

“What’s his name?” You asked. “You haven’t even said who it is.”

Santi shook his head again, saying, “That’s gonna be a surprise.”

You tried to explain that you were over the disappointment of dating and that going out with a mystery guy didn’t sound much more promising than any of your past dates. But it didn’t matter. Santi had set his mind on it.

“He’s been having bad luck on dates just like you have,” he explained as he whipped out his phone, presumably sending a text to the guy about this arrangement. 

“Santi, seriously, I don’t know about this…”

“What’s the matter?”

“Usually when dates go bad, the one bright side is that I know I’ll never see the guy again. I don’t know him or anyone else that knows him, so there won’t be any fallout when things go bad. Won’t it be weird for us and you if things don’t go well?”

He shook his head with decisive confidence before clicking his phone off. “That’s the thing, it won’t go badly. I’m telling you, it’ll be the best date of your life. You’ve got to trust me on this. It’s gonna be great.”

You looked at the ceiling, mulling this all over as you tapped the edge of your empty plate. Almost completely fed up with the idea of dating, the last thing you wanted was another failed date. But Santi was dead-set on it and seemed to truly believe it was something that could work. And simply waiting for love to come your way was getting both boring and disheartening. 

After considering everything for a moment, you asked, “He’s not going to be some murderous creep, right?”

Santi beamed, seemingly taking your question as confirmation that you were interested in the date. “Nah, you’ll love him. I trust him with my life.”

You raised an eyebrow. Santi wasn’t the kind of man who said that he trusted someone with his life unless he really meant it. 

Bing!

Santi looked down at his phone before smiling up at you again. “He’s in. How does Friday at seven sound?”

“I said no.”

Santi had been on Frankie’s ass for days now. When Frankie had gotten that text from him a few days ago — You down for a date with a nice, cute friend of mine? — he hadn’t known the headache that would ensue when he turned the offer down. Santi refused to tell him who the date was with, asserting that he would love the mystery woman. Unsatisfied with Frankie’s rejection, Santi had hounded him every day since, even going so far as to show up at his house today out of the blue. Frankie had heaved a long-suffered sigh when he saw Santi’s red Jeep pull up his driveway. 

“Come on, Fish,” Santi groaned, exasperatedly following Frankie around his dimly lit garage as he worked on his truck. “She’s pretty, she’s funny, she’s bold. I’m telling you, you’ll both hit it off.”

Frankie merely sighed as he sifted around his toolbox for a socket. He hadn’t had much luck in the dating department for years. Either the woman he was with didn’t seem to be that interested in him or it got too awkward as the conversation petered out. The best stories he had were Army stories, but those didn’t tend to go over well with dates. He was a man who was rough around the edges, simple, middle aged, and quieter than most. In short, he didn’t think he was much for anyone to get excited about anyways. He wasn’t the kind of guy that wowed someone on a blind date.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go on the date, it was the fact that he wanted more than a date. He wanted something real. A love that gripped his soul, that left him spinning, that left him losing his bearings. Maybe he wasn’t a sentimental man, but he was a bit of a hopeless romantic at heart. He just didn’t think that any of that stuff was ever meant for him, and that made every failed date even more painful. 

In reality, Frankie hated how he felt after every failed date. It tanked his self-esteem more than he cared to admit. He didn’t think he could take it again. It didn’t help that — when it came to dating — Frankie was on the shyer side. Though, maybe that had something to do with the whole self-esteem issue, too. At one point in his life, he had been much more confident in the dating area. However, after a few decades, a couple of failed serious relationships, and plenty of terrible dates, that confidence was quickly waning.

What made it worse was that the woman he really wanted was so unattainable it hurt. Every time he saw you at one of Santi’s cookouts or a night out at the bars, he felt that familiar pang in his chest. You were the opposite of Frankie, so confident and funny and gorgeous. Every time your hand brushed over his arm his heart almost gave out. Every time you smiled, he couldn’t look away. When you were in the room, you were the center of his attention, no matter how hard he tried to pay attention to anything else. The fact was that no other woman on any date had ever made him feel like you did. No other woman was ever you. 

It was that thought that had caused him to tell Santi no. He was sure the mystery woman was pretty and funny and whatever else Santi said, but the fact of the matter was that she wasn’t you. It didn’t matter that you didn’t seem to be interested in Frankie like that, he had fallen for you all the same. And now he couldn’t seem to be interested in anyone else.

“What else do I have to say, man?” Santi questioned, practically pleading as Frankie finally closed his hand around the cool metal of the socket he had been looking for. 

“Nothing,” Frankie responded, trying not to sound as down as he felt. “It’ll end just like all the others. I’m just not interested.”

He hated to let down his best friend, especially when he seemed so invested in this idea, but it was just too much for Frankie. After his last date, he had deleted all the dating apps from his phone and called it quits. He hadn’t told Santi this both because of how lame he would sound and because he knew that he would try to set him up exactly like this. Santi, being as extroverted as he was, knew a lot of women and once he started setting Frankie up, he wouldn’t stop until Frankie found someone. 

What Santi didn’t understand was that he had already fucked up Frankie’s love life enough when he introduced him to you that first night on his back deck. From that moment on, Frankie hadn’t been interested in anyone else. Whoever had come up with the term falling in love had been right because meeting you had felt almost exactly like a helicopter going down in a tailspin. One second, all was fine. The next, he was hurtling toward the ground.

He couldn’t tell Santi that he was madly in love with you either. It would only make things even worse when Santi inevitably meddled. Frankie didn’t think he would survive embarrassment like that, especially when you were much too good for him. Like there was any way in hell you felt the same as he did. 

“You’re both so goddamn stubborn,” Santi groaned to himself before taking a breath and pressing at his brow. Frankie slid underneath his truck again and started to work. For a moment, he actually thought he had won this dispute, Santi uncharacteristically quiet as he leaned against the old frame of the truck. But after a beat of silence, Santi sighed and called pointedly, “You know what? It doesn’t matter. I’ve already told her you’ll meet her at seven tonight.”

Without thinking, Frankie leaned up and cried, “You what-?” before promptly smacking his head against the metal above him. He scooted out from under the truck, holding his head and cursing. When he found that he didn’t have any serious injury, he trained his fury on Santi again. “Dude? Seriously?”

Santi, who was holding back from laughing at Frankie’s outburst, simply put his hands up. “I knew you were gonna pull this shit, so I told her you’d already said yes.”

A barrage of questions ran through his mind. Why would you do that? Why didn’t you mention that at the start? How do I get out of this now? However the only question he was able to get out was, “What the fuck, man?”

“You’ve gotta trust me on this one, Fish! You can’t back out now.”

Frankie grumbled, “I never even agreed to be in this.”

Santi simply continued on, seemingly ignoring him at this point. “It’s at that one grill place on the West side of town that Benny likes. You still have that shirt you wore to Benny’s birthday dinner? Wear that one. It’s not too formal but it looks good.”

“Fine. Fine. I’ll do it. But when this goes sideways, it’s on you.”

“When this goes perfectly,” Santi countered, “you better make me best man at the wedding.”

Frankie didn’t know how to tell him that he’d be lucky to even make it through the date, let alone get to anything resembling a relationship. 

“You’re really gonna do it?” Santi asked skeptically. “You’re not lying?”

Frankie sighed as he defeatedly tossed his socket back into the open toolbox, letting it loudly clang against the contents of the box. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice in this situation. “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

Santi beamed before clapping him on the shoulder. “You’re gonna thank me for this tomorrow.”

“Sure,” Frankie replied, sarcasm dripping from the word. If anything, he thought he would be embarrassed beyond belief tomorrow after Santi would inevitably ask how it went.

Fuck. Frankie didn’t think he had it in him to go through all the disappointment again. Much less to have his best friend see it. 

As Santi went to leave, he yelled over his shoulder, “Oh, and she’s not scared away by Army stories either. I’ve already told her plenty.”

Frankie’s stomach sank. “You didn’t tell her about the time I was drunk in Texas, did you?”

Santi only gave him an evil smile as he continued to back away, shrugging. “She thought it was funny.”

Later that night, Frankie sat at a table at Nino’s Bar & Grill, clad in the blue button-down Santi insisted he wear as he anxiously waited for his mystery date to arrive. In the hours since Santi had first roped him into this date, the man had never stopped texting him about her, all the while keeping her identity a secret. His insistence that this would be the best date ever had Frankie somewhat dreading the ultimate letdown that was coming. 

Hell, she was already ten minutes late. Maybe, he thought, she had already spared him from the date by standing him up. It certainly wouldn’t be the worst end to a date that he’d ever had. 

Suddenly, a text came through from Santi. Frankie stared at it, reading it again and again but it was just as confusing every time. 

Did you seriously think I hadn’t noticed the way you look at her?

After a second, he sent back a simple: What??

He sighed as he looked at his watch again. Maybe he should just go home, crack open a beer, and get back to work on his truck. It didn’t seem like-

“Frankie?”

His attention snapped up from the tabletop to find a gorgeous woman standing above him, the sunset shining through the windows behind her like a colorful halo. She stared at him questioningly, almost in awe. 

You. It was you. 

He had never thought that those scenes in movies where a guy was tongue-tied seeing a woman was actually something that could happen until his mind was blank and mouth ajar. 

Finally, he said your name, practically dumbstruck. “W-what are you doing here?”

You simply laughed sweetly — a beautiful, almost heart-stopping sound. “I, um… I think I may be here for the same reason you are.”

All at once, the reality of everything hit him. Santi. His insistence about this date. The text. Santi knew. He had set this whole thing up because he had known this whole time how Frankie felt about you. 

Suddenly, all of Santi’s glowing descriptions of you clicked into place, all of them true and none of them doing you justice. Now, Santi saying that you were pretty felt like a hell of an understatement. He knew that, somewhere, that smug son of a bitch was incredibly proud of himself. Not that Frankie could quite blame him right now. 

“Did you know?” Frankie asked, rising from his seat to stand in front of you. 

You shook your head. “No. It seems like we were both in the dark here. But… I’m definitely not upset about it now.”

It was at this last part that your eyes met his again, hopeful and searching. 

And just like that, in a mere twenty seconds, his whole world tipped on its head. The force of it would have knocked him clean off his feet if he let it — and he nearly did. If he hadn’t already been sure that he was indeed awake, he wouldn’t have quite believed it was really happening. It hit his system like a drug, the new wave of adrenaline filling his head with static. This static wasn’t the absence of thought — not anymore. No, now his head was filled with way too many all at once, each fighting to be heard until there was nothing but chaotic noise. 

Then, over it all came a clear fact: you felt the same. Tonight was the chance he never thought he would have. Suddenly, his whole outlook on this date was changed.

“Me, too.�� With a small burst of confidence, he admitted, “I… there’s no one else I would’ve wanted to have this with.”

The smile that bloomed on your face was as blinding as the beautiful sunset behind you. 

Frankie guided you to your seat, pulling it out for you. Before you sat, you grazed your soft hand across his forearm as you thanked him, the touch sweet and electric. 

Remember to fucking breathe, Frankie told himself. 

As he made his way back to his seat, you spoke again, “I’m so, so sorry I was late! Traffic was terrible.”

Frankie — who was sure you were worth waiting for — assured you that it was no problem. 

He couldn’t shake the feeling that this was different. You were different from anyone he had ever been on a date with. He couldn’t put a finger on exactly what it was that made you feel so… special. 

“So,” he started, trying not to sound as breathless as he felt, “can I buy you a drink?”

You nodded with a smile, giving him a knowing look. “I know you’re a beer man. How about an order for two?”

Goddamn. For the first time in a long time, Frankie felt himself getting his hopes up. 

You didn’t think you would ever be able to forgive Santi for this. You had known him for three years and he hadn’t set you up with Frankie like this sooner. All those terrible dates could have been avoided if Santi had just meddled in both of your love lives from the start. 

Frankie was ridiculously handsome, endlessly sweet, and not nearly as quiet as he tended to be at Santi’s get-togethers. He had an easy sort of humor, one that was simple yet had you laughing seemingly without even trying. While you had both always just clicked, talking with him tonight made it feel as if you had known each other forever. You were only three hours in and this was already the best date of your life. 

The fact that you thought the words only three hours into the date blew your mind. For a long time now, a three hour long date usually had you wishing for the quickest way out. You couldn’t wait to leave the train wreck that it usually was. Now? Three hours didn’t feel like nearly enough. You felt like you were just barely scratching the surface of Frankie, his life, his past. You loved every second you had with him in a way you never thought possible. 

You had both quickly fallen into an easy rhythm with each other, all polite questions and light humor. While he was incredibly nice, you never felt as if he was putting on a persona. He was genuine, a trait that was both refreshing and intriguing. With Frankie, what you see is what you get, Santi had once told you. He had been telling the truth. And, damn, you liked what you saw. 

Over the hours, your conversation shifted, turning from testing questions into old stories. Frankie, as you already knew, was a great storyteller. Not only was he giving you some seriously embarrassing stories of Santi that had you rolling, he had pictures to back his stories up. For the first time, you were happy to see your date whip out his phone. The pictures were from decades ago and the young, beardless Frankie that looked back from those photos made you smile. He had aged, you mused as you studied his face beside you, like a fine wine. Older and more rugged, but all the more attractive for it.

You slowly slid your chair around to get a better view of his phone inch by inch until you were sat next to him, your thighs touching each other. As he showed you a particularly tame picture of his friends from the army — Santi and the Miller brothers ever present — you could see by the pink that suddenly dusted his cheeks that he was aware of your thigh against his, too. While he didn’t say anything about it, you noticed the way he leaned against you ever so slightly.

He flicked to another photo, one that immediately caught your attention. 

“Frankie,” you mused, “You’re so handsome!”

The photo he had flipped to was obviously a more recent one. He stood next to Will, both of them clad in disheveled white button-ups, ties undone around their collars, as they smiled at the camera. An out-of-place weathered ball cap sat on top of Frankie’s head, his curls poking out the bottom. His favorite Standard Oil hat. While out of place, it was fitting for him — a piece that blatantly showed something uniquely him. The final thing that drew your eye, however, was the several undone buttons that led down his front, exposing the tanned plane of his chest. 

“Oh. I didn’t- I forgot that was-” he stuttered for a moment. He let out a nervous chuckle before explaining, “This was Will’s wedding. After the wedding, as you can see.”

You smiled. It was endearing the way he had been thrown off guard by this.

“You look ridiculously handsome,” you reiterated, looking at him pointedly. 

Frankie flushed under the compliment again, his breathing noticeably picking up. “I- uh- thanks. I had the shirt tailored. And the pants-”

You giggled a bit, drawing his attention to you. Leaning close to his ear, you took a risk as you sweetly whispered, “The suit was nice, but I was talking about you. And the second compliment? I meant that you look ridiculously handsome tonight, too.”

Stunned, he simply held your gaze for a moment, plush pink lips slightly parted as you pulled back to look at him. He looked down at his hands as he mumbled a thank you, a bewildered smile on his lips. Obviously, he wasn’t used to such compliments.

Taking another risk, you brought the tip of your finger to the underside of his chin. Coarse hair tickled your skin as you brought his wide gaze up to yours. 

“I mean it,” you assured, your finger dropping so that you could lay it on his shoulder. 

“And I mean it when I say you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.” He said it breathlessly, your small gestures seemingly overwhelming his ability to breathe. His eyes were on you, wide and bare. “I thought so the day I met you.”

He feels it, too.

The world was still for a moment, the very air suspended between the two of you. The rest of the restaurant had fallen away, leaving only you and Frankie and the few inches between your lips. 

All at once, Frankie locked his phone, abandoned it on the table, brought his hand to your cheek, and kissed you hard. 

The world tipped. 

Kissing Frankie felt like the drop of a rollercoaster, curling up next to the endless warmth of a fire, the joy of visiting an unknown city. All at once. 

The force of it all stole the air from your lungs but you didn’t care. You couldn’t. The rush and hum in your veins wouldn’t let you. All you could think about was the movement of his plush lips against yours as your fingers wound into his curls.

It wasn’t a kiss fit for a first date. Yet, somehow, it felt right. Frankie felt right. 

Frankie was the first to break, seemingly as breathless as you were. As your hooded eyes fluttered up to meet his, you found him to be as surprised as you were. He looked at you with a hungry sort of wonder before he blinked, a bit of self-consciousness falling across his features. You hadn’t noticed that he had lost that self-consciousness until it was already taking hold again — and if that was what he was like when it was gone, you wanted to see what he was like when he fully let go. 

“S-sorry,” he stammered breathily. “I know that was probably too fast.”

You shook your head earnestly, not wanting to allow that self-consciousness of his to take over again. “Not fast enough.”

Hope flashed in his eyes. “Yeah?”

You nodded. “Do you wanna… get out of here?”

You saw Frankie’s eyes go wide and — for a second — thought you had pushed a little too far. But then he was fishing his wallet out of his back pocket as he answered definitively, “I’d love that.”

Now, you could see that same fire that you felt behind his eyes. A fire that filled you with a ridiculous amount of excitement.

He settled the check before you could even offer to pay, but now you were a little more than distracted as butterflies bloomed in your stomach for the first time in a long time. 

This wasn’t like you. None of this was like you. You didn’t kiss guys on the first date, much less ask them to bed. Granted, most dates had you running for the door before anything like that could happen, but still. The sentiment stood. 

Everything about Frankie was different, though. And the only thing you could really think about right now was having that man under you before the night ended.

When Frankie exited the restaurant with your hand in his, the tension between you two felt like a live wire and his heart was thundering in his chest. 

In a quick moment of planning in the parking lot, he found out that the roommate you had mentioned earlier was currently at your place. His place was over a forty minute drive from this restaurant on the other side of the city. While it was doable, it seemed like a lot for how… urgently he needed you.

Just as he was starting to lose hope, your eyes flicked to the side. He watched as you playfully bit your lip, a flash of hope in your eyes. He followed your gaze across the street to see one of the many hotels in the city that he barely paid any mind to. 

So that was how he found himself with a key to room 103, your hand in his as he led you through the lobby. 

It was all a rushed blur — finding the door, turning the feeble lock on the inside, pressing you against the wall of the small room, your sweet little moans against his mouth. You were all there was. 

As much as he had loved your outfit, he liked the sight even more now that you were stripped of it all. 

All of his senses were underwater, the world moving too fast for him to keep up. He hadn’t felt like this in a long, long time. He hadn’t wanted to feel like this in a long time. But now, with your fingers twisted into his hair and your body beneath him on the plush mattress, he finally let himself go. 

Years ago, Frankie had once been caught in a riptide of the ocean. Having grown up merely a few hours away from the beach, he had known that the current couldn’t be fought. It was too strong, a force of nature one couldn’t hope to go against. It felt a hell of a lot like this. Like you. You had caught him as unsuspecting as the current had that day. Only this time, he didn’t want to get out. He didn’t swim parallel to shore until he could escape your gasp, he only let you drag him out to the depths of an unfamiliar sea.

Frankie’s lips were everywhere. Your lips, your neck, your chest. You closed your eyes, letting the feeling wash over you. 

“Frankie,” you whined, voice so breathy you barely recognized it yourself. “Frankie, I need you. I need you right now.”

The warmth of his hand slid up to palm at your breast, his mouth finding yours again. 

“You’ve got me,” he assured you, voice deliciously deep and raspy. “I’m yours.”

You would’ve paid more mind to this last part if his free hand hadn’t been sliding down your stomach to your pussy. A gasp escaped you as he toyed with your clit for a moment, rubbing slow circles. 

“Fuck, yeah. That’s it,” he mumbled. “You’re so wet already. You’re so fuckin’ beautiful.”

As he leaned down to kiss your neck, you felt him slip a finger into your heat. You grabbed at his back, at his hair, lost in the feeling of him as you clung to him like a lifeline. It was slow at first, testing before he began to build up to a steady pace. Already, it wasn’t enough. You needed so much more. 

When you bucked your hips looking for more friction, Frankie said, “I know, I know. You’re just so tight, baby. Gotta work you up.”

Much to your dismay, he pulled his finger out for a moment. Bringing his attention back to your clit, he stopped your protest dead in your throat. Then, he slipped two fingers back into you, resuming his pace from before. 

He pushed himself up a little, looking first at your face and then down where you took his fingers with lust-blown eyes. Frankie was still in his boxers, but you could see the prominent outline of his hard cock straining against the black fabric. 

“Fuck,” he mused, before slipping a third finger into you. You moaned out his name as the familiar coil began to build in your stomach. 

“Frankie…Frankie — fuck, baby — I’m gonna come. I’m gonna-”

Suddenly, the air was stolen from your lungs, your mouth open in a silent scream as your orgasm slammed into you. You clenched around Frankie’s fingers, but he kept going, praising you all the while. 

“That’s it. That’s it, hermosa. Ride it out.”

Your orgasm lasted a lifetime, Frankie drawing it out of you for a length of time you hadn’t thought possible. Wave after blissful wave. 

When you came down, panting and head spinning, you found Frankie popping his fingers in his mouth, eyes closed and moaning a little as he did. 

“You even taste sweet,” he mused. 

You giggled, pulling him down to kiss you again. After a moment, you pulled away enough to whisper against his lips, “Need these off, Frankie.”

You lightly tugged at the band of his boxers, giving him a hint. 

Frankie threw himself backwards, rushing to push the fabric down his legs and discard it to the floor in whatever direction it decided to go. 

Oh. Oh, wow. 

To say that Frankie was impressive seemed like an understatement. Already flushed and leaking, his cock was both long and thick. 

For the first time in your life, you found yourself saying, “I don’t know if it’ll fit.”

You saw Frankie’s mouth twitch up for a moment. “Now you’re just stroking my ego.”

You pushed yourself up to your knees, scooting over top of Frankie so that you straddled him. In the midst of it, lust replaced the humor on his face. His hands found your waist as you used a hand on his chest to coax him to lay back on the mattress.

“I’ll do a little more than just stroke it,” you promised. 

“Fuck,” Frankie breathed, almost to himself. Bringing your hand to his cock, you teased him with a few testing pumps. He tipped his head back against the bed, groaning as you ghosted the tip of your thumb over the head. With a deep baritone, he pleaded, “God, baby, please.”

How could you deny that? You couldn’t even hold yourself back anymore. 

You guided him to your entrance before slowly lowering to take him. It was a stretch, one that felt overwhelming and all too good at the same time. Frankie’s hands found your hips, a string of encouraging praises falling from his lips as he watched you take every inch of him with laser-like focus. 

“That’s it, baby,” he cooed, disheveled and wrecked as he looked up at you. “I knew you could take all of me. Goddamn, you feel so good.”

You felt so unbelievably full. Suddenly, the ability to speak had been stolen from you, replaced with the simple need for friction. 

You rocked your hips, earning a hiss from Frankie as his fingertips gripped your hips for dear life. Slowly, you built your pace as you rode him. He was so deep, you never knew it could feel like this. Soon enough, you had a good pace. 

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The rhythmic noise was in the background at first, lost to the sound of your and Frankie’s moans and grunts. But then you realized how close it was. 

Frankie read the confusion on your face immediately. “The bed,” he explained, panting. “The shitty bed’s hitting the wall.”

Oh. It was obvious now, but your brain was underwater, your only concern being the unbelievable man beneath you. But there was a small part of your brain somewhere in the haze that was still rational that knew the last thing you needed right now was hotel management knocking on your door after a complaint. 

“Floor,” Frankie offered, seemingly on the same page. “It’ll be easier on the floor.”

After a brief moment to relocate, you were once again on top of Frankie, your knees against the cheap, rough carpet as you rode him without abandon. He was lost in it, switching between letting his eyes roll back and needing to watch you. To praise you. 

“Fuck, yes, baby. This pussy’s so perfect. You’re so perfect.” He was babbling, but you loved it. A sense of urgency, of longing lurked in his tone. 

You panted and cursed, so close to the edge but not quite able to get there. “Frankie. Baby, I need more.”

Frankie’s eyes snapped up to your face, a new sort of darkness to his eyes. His hand came to your back to brace you against him before he flipped you both, your back meeting the carpet. Now, he loomed over you as he kissed you deeply. Right as he pulled his lips away from yours, he gave a sharp, hard thrust into you. You cried out, scrambling to scratch at his back in an attempt to find purchase. Again and again, he drove into you, making a devastating pace. 

His pants fanned across your lips, seemingly lost in the feeling of you. “Yeah, that’s it. That’s it. Fuck… baby — fuck — I’m close. Need you to come. Come for me, cariño.”

If you had the ability to speak anymore, you would’ve told him that you were right there, teetering on the edge. 

With a few more thrusts, you toppled over. The sounds you made were obscene as ecstasy took over. 

“Where do you want it, baby?” Frankie rasped desperately. “I need you… I need you to tell me.”

“Inside,” you gasped. 

“Fuck. You’re so fuckin’ good, baby,” Frankie cooed in your ear. “Ah. So fuckin’ tight. Squeezin’ me so good. I’m- I’m gon-”

He didn’t finish his sentence before he was driving himself deep and releasing into you. His mouth fell open as he rode it out, grinding into you. 

When he was completely spent, he let himself sag down a little above you, his head dropping as he tried to catch his breath. Every moment or so, he would let out a beautiful little ah sound, especially as he pulled out of you.

For the second time that night, you brought your pointer finger underneath his chin and slowly guided him to look at you. You caught the enamored look in his eyes a moment before you leaned up to kiss him. Slowly, meaningfully. 

Against his lips, you said, “God, Frankie, if I would’ve known that you liked me, too… or that we could’ve been doing this all this time…”

Frankie gave an incredulous laugh, pulling back to look at you. “Like you? I’ve been crazy about you since the day we met.”

You laughed, looking at the ceiling for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “Me, too! I hadn’t been able to stop staring at you the entire cookout that day.”

“I wanted to ask you out then,” he admitted, his brown eyes earnest. “And every time we saw each other afterwards. I always talked myself out of it.”

“I would’ve said yes,” you assured. 

Frankie ran a thumb over your cheek. “Think it’s too soon to ask you on a second date?”

You giggled against him, feeling his body shake against yours as he laughed, too. “Not soon enough. How does Wednesday night sound?”

“Perfect. I hope it’s not too crude to say that I hope it ends a lot like tonight did.”

You patted his tanned chest, giving him a knowing smile. “Let’s pick a restaurant closer to your place, then.”

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

HEY CUTIE, WHAT'S UP?

IDK IF YOU'RE STILL TAKING REQUESTS, BUT I'M JUST GONNA THROW THIS OUT THERE ANYWAY!

Ok, sorry, I'll chill with the caps.

So, I was wondering if you could write a story where Donna and the reader were together for a while, but they broke up over some stupid misunderstanding. Like, classic drama, right?

After a year or two, Donna is STILL thinking about the reader (because how could she not? they were each other's soulmate). but she’s still hurt and has NO CLUE about the truth, so she tries to move on and dates another villager. NEWS FLASH: NO ONE CAN REPLACE THE READER!

So, she breaks up with Ms. “Not Even Close” and decides to go to the village and find the reader. But plot twist! The reader is still fuming because Donna didn’t believe her and wouldn’t even let her explain! Cue the drama! They have an epic argument, but eventually, the reader helps Donna see the truth, and Donna apologizes for being such a misunderstanding queen and blah blah blah.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE REASON FOR THEIR FIGHT COULD BE, BUT THAT'S UP TO YOU POOKIE!

THANK YOUUUUUUUUU! XX

Yesss!!!! Thank you for you request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))

Misunderstanding

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Angst, jealousy, Donna being Donna, Donna's POV, fluff, happy ending as always :)

Word count: 8,353

Summary: She cheated on me, she can't deny it...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I love you all!!! :))

“Did you see how that stupid girl ran away? It was fun,” Angie said, pointing to the door.

Failure always seemed to be linked to my existence. Mistakes, disappointments were always part of life. Not even making an effort, trying to move on worked for me.

“Angie, I can't take it anymore,” I protested, sighing, wanting to cry, wanting to torment that girl, even though it wasn't her fault. “I don't know when I thought that… for once… I could forget…”

“Oh, not again,” the doll said, making her mocking tone force me to frown. “I told you that you were stupid, that you couldn't…”

“I know!” I shrieked, clenching my fists tightly. “Do you think I don't know? That I'm so crazy that I tried to fool myself and failed again? Save it, Angie, I have enough with my own conscience.”

I shook my head, running a hand over my forehead, looking at the door, where that girl ran away forever, the girl who tricked me, or rather, with whom I thought I had taken some steps forward.

Thinking that maybe that stupid girl would make me forget was stupid. Even if it hadn't been a twisted plan by Alcina to lift my spirits and that girl had been with me by chance, it would have been in vain.

“You're too hard on yourself, silly Donna,” Angie said, running away from my trembling body. “The only thing that's wrong with you is that you're not able to accept reality.”

“Cosa? What reality?” I asked in a tired tone, with many, many images torturing me in my head.

Normally torture is based on tormenting, on sending horrible memories to your mind, the worst of your life, going over and over again without rest, reminding you of your mistakes, your failures.

In my case it wasn't like that. The torture I was experiencing wasn't based on nightmares, on the memories of a life far from the village, from Mother Miranda. No, the torture the Black Gods had prepared for me was no longer based on my horrible face, on my screams of helplessness.

I wasn’t tormented by my nightmares, but by my best dreams. The screams, the crying and the pain didn’t resonate in my mind every day, every moment… The laughter, the words of love, the whispers, the wet sound of our kisses cutting through the silence of an early morning did.

My torture was a selfless smile, eyes shining with love, sincere words whispered every day in my ears.

She was my torture. Dreaming every morning of her warm body protecting mine from the cold, touching her to know she was still there, feeling her warmth next to mine, knowing that I could speak and not hear my own independent voice in response, but hers.

I didn’t want to forget, to tell myself over and over again that it was over forever, that it was the reason for my torment; a happy life, an exit to the light after so much darkness, a host of special sensations, incredible for someone like me who would never return.

My torment was to loved; my torment was starting to believe that even I had the right to be loved and I was. But it was all gone in an instant, with a stab in the heart, with disappointment and rage whispering in my mind, forcing me back to that comfortable solitude, one that I had grown accustomed to detaching myself from.

“You're still thinking about her,” Angie whispered, pointing at me with her finger, knowing how I thought, what I was imagining, what bright eyes were looking at me in the depths of my conscience. “Don't bother denying it, I know.”

“I don't deny it,” I hissed. “I haven't stopped thinking about her during all this time.”

“So what are you doing here wasting time with brainless maids? Do something,” Angie insisted, pushing me comically, destabilizing me.

“Angie, basta,” I said in a cold tone.

“Do you know what your problem is?” the puppet asked, when once again the idea of ​​regretting feeling contempt for the deception crossed my mind. “You're a coward, Donna…”

“Coward? She cheated on me,” I protested, crossing my arms, feeling my body tremble with memories, ones that told me, day after day, that all those images that tortured me would continue to be just that, torture.

“She cheated on me, she cheated on me,” Angie repeated mockingly, laughing at me.

Nobody laughs at me, nobody.

“Will you shut up?” I asked with irony, resting my hands on a table, with my head down.

“I don't want to shut up,” Angie protested, as expected. “You know where she is, the Duke has told us that her commissions are only for one person, so she is still single, what are you doing here wasting time when you should be begging for forgiveness?”

“Io!?” I shouted, pointing at myself. “I don't have to ask for forgiveness, I don't have to apologize, this was all her fault, è colpa sua!”

“Of course, and since it's her fault I have to put up with your complaints day and night,” Angie said, chasing me as I walked aimlessly through the mansion. “Things don't work like that, silly Donna.”

“Oh, certo. Then, according to you, I should crawl at her feet and beg for mercy for having let myself be deceived by that stupid villager, right?” I said, with anger darkening my hoarse voice, unused since she left.

“Do you expect her to come and apologize? How stupid,” the doll said, knowing that with me she could say those things, knowing that she was only a part of me, even if she insisted on believing that her thoughts were her own.

“Well yes, that's what she should have done, come here and apologize, beg for forgiveness, has she done it? No, do you know why? Because she did what she wanted, because she didn't love me,” I answered, with my throat sore from crying.

“Oh, yes, of course she has to come to the house of a powerful Lord to admit that she was cheating on her...” the doll joked, bowing her head. “Last time she managed to escape, but crazy Donna might not be so merciful this time…”

“Leave me alone,” I hissed, fed up with that stupid conversation, fed up with hearing my own thoughts in the irreverent doll.

“You're unbearable, Donna, why don't you dare to face your fears? Who knows, maybe there was an explanation for…” Angie said, thoughtfully.

“Taci!” I yelled furiously, kicking the floor. “The only explanation I had was that she was cheating on me, that she was planning to leave me forever…”

“Ha, that's what you think, but maybe…”

“Basta! I don't want to hear another word,” I protested again, holding my throbbing temples.

“That's because you know I'm right,” the doll mocked, showing no fear of my imminent crisis. “You love her, don't you?”

“I… Ugh, vai a cagare,” I said, spitting out my words, causing the puppet to gasp at my lack of respect.

“Donna!” Angie shrieked offended. “Don't talk to me like that, if mamma was here, she would have given you a well-deserved slap,” she said in a petulant tone.

“Mom's not here, dad's not here, everything that mattered to me is gone, do you understand? Everything I've had, everything that once made me happy has disappeared right under my nose, my parents, Claudia, (Y/N)…” I said, lowering my tone little by little, tormented again by my memories. “Don't you see? All the people I've loved are gone, they've abandoned me, they've cheated on me…”

“Well, there's no solution for that,” the doll commented, climbing onto the table so she could look me in the face. “But, (Y/N)… you haven't lost her yet, she's still alive, right?”

“Angie, I…” I sighed, letting myself fall into a chair, with my hands covering my gruesome face. “Nothing could repair the damage she did to me.”

“Your brain is the one that can't be repaired,” Angie mocked, making me want to turn her off forever. “Come on, Donna… I miss her…”

“And so do I,” I said without thinking, with all the sincerity I could manage. “She was everything to me.”

“Then stop complaining and go to the village, talk to her,” she insisted, rubbing my back in a surprisingly comforting way. “If you don't, you'll lose her forever.”

I couldn't say why it made me think, why the idea of ​​crawling in front of her started to sound good in my head. My memory made me live again those two wonderful years with her. It made me feel all those new emotions again, almost as if I had gone back in time.

(Y/N) was a simple villager, or so she liked to say. She was a villager, but she wasn't simple at all.

I met her by chance, my eye fell on her at one of Mother Miranda's masses. Like a spell, a charm that I myself wasn't prepared for, I couldn't stop from doing it. She was beautiful. Her smile was almost as addictive as her voice, like that joy I could feel on her face.

It wasn't very common to see a sincere smile in a place like this. Everything, the Gods, Mother Miranda, my siblings, even I exerted a strong darkness on all the villagers. I never asked Miranda for a second chance, I never asked her for eternal life, I was just wrong.

I was always isolated. I always liked the solitude that my parents had left me as an inheritance. I had nothing, I wanted nothing. I just wanted her back. I wanted my little Claudia back. She was the only one who didn't see me as a monster, who didn't care about the scar on my eye, the only one who was still with me after our parents lost their minds. Claudia was the only thing I wanted.

Instead, I gained undeserved immortality, powers far beyond my understanding. I became a Lords, a monster, without feelings, who would guard the village.

Miranda's trust was meaningless. I was never right in the head, I never spoke. I only knew how to make one thing: dolls. But that was more than enough to stop me from crying, to stop me wishing my sister would come back to me.

I had gained the ability to take revenge for that tormented childhood, the ability to punish all those who laughed at me.

Solitude began to be comfortable. My face stopped being flawed and became horrifying. It didn't matter how many times my heart beat desperately, screaming at me to end that isolation. I had become a ghost, a feared woman, the doll maker: Donna Beneviento.

I began to forget to ask questions, to want someone to share my existence with. Angie came to life, and became my only company. I believed that I was finally where I should be, that I had obtained a deserved reward for all my misfortunes.

I stopped being interested in love, I stopped discreetly looking at the girls in the village to give more importance to everything that Miranda ordered me to do. I didn’t lose hope, because I never had any.

Still, (Y/N) appeared, rekindling desires from adolescence, making me wonder again what it felt like to be loved.

When my lips touched hers, I knew. I saw in her eyes a sincere love, admiration mixed with desire in her gaze, one that ignored my scar. (Y/N) looked at me without fear, without disgust, she looked at me as I had imagined so many times.

I freed myself from my chains, from my fears. I let my heart explore those new feelings. Loving, feeling, kissing, making love… Everything was new to me.

She was a wonderful girl, attentive, affectionate and terribly intelligent. Her beauty was just a detail, another gift from the Gods for an unhappy and sick woman like me. She put up with me, she relieved me when the voices in my head tormented me, she understood me, she loved me… At least that's what I thought.

Two years with (Y/N) seemed enough to calm my insecurities, the nightmares that haunted me in my dreams, which disappeared with her hugs, with her whispers, with words that had long since ceased to be just words.

“Everything will be fine, Donna, everything is fine… I love you…”

Her consolations were a balm even more addictive than her kisses. Her patience, her desire to discover that terrifying lady in black were sincere.

No matter how hard I try, I’m unable to forget that night, that terrible night in which reality made me see that I never deserved it, that this gift from the Gods had been temporary, and I would have to pay the consequences.

“You're back,” I sighed, letting her lips kiss me.

(Y/N) had a life in the village and I had no right to monopolize it, although I confess that I would have liked to.

“Of course I'm back,” she said in a soft voice while I gave her a romantic spin in the air.

Seeing her appear through the door was the best feeling, dispelling my fears, thinking that she would always come back. I was just stupid.

“You're just in time for dinner,” I said amused, letting my gestures be involuntary, devouring her with small kisses while (Y/N) pretended to protest. “Tutto bene?”

“Um, as always,” she said, relaxing her expression, something that worried me. “You know, commoner things.”

“Commoner? You're not a commoner, tesoro, you're my princess…” I whispered romantically, fed up with that wonderful girl being unable to see herself the way I did.

“Oh,” she said, looking away with that same blush while I, chivalrously, picked her up in my arms. “Hey, put me down.”

 I laughed amused, kissing her one last time and obeying her request, lowering her to the floor.

“I’ve missed you,” I said, brushing her hair away from her beauty, not letting anything get between her gaze and mine. “But you’re here now…”

“I’ve only been gone for an hour, it’s not that bad,” (Y/N) said, laughing too, stealing a tender kiss from me before slowly moving away. “Well, I better take a shower. I want to be perfect for you.”

“Yes, um… can I go with you?” I asked innocently, following her with my gaze as she walked towards the hallway. “I really want to hug you under the water.”

“Mm…” she moaned, looking at me with desire, biting her lip. “Yes, well, but, but this time, I prefer to do it alone.”

Something inside me told me that this rejection wasn’t a coincidence, but I didn’t give it any importance, I just insisted.

“Why? Are you feeling sick?” I asked worriedly.

She never used to reject that kind of things. I should have realized it sooner.

“What? Oh, no, no Donna, it's just that... well, for once I feel like taking a shower alone,” explained (Y/N), with an innocent look that had the word lie drawn on it.

I nodded distrustfully, but always respecting her decisions, noticing a strange movement she made, one that seemed to check something in her pocket.

“Relax, my love, I'll be back soon, why don't you come down with me and decide what culinary delight you're going to prepare?” the girl suggested, as if wanting to avoid my inquisitive gaze, taking her hand out of her pocket.

“Oh, va bene,” I murmured with a frown as she smiled again, a forced smile.

“Don't miss me so much, my love...” (Y/N) whispered, caressing my cheek and kissing me slowly, causing a stream of cold air to flow freely between us as she separated from me.

“I can't help it,” I said with a smile but without missing the expressions on her face, the subtle trembling of her hands. “Take a shower. I'll prepare a delicious dinner for you.”

“Great,” she said, definitely moving away and walking towards the hallway, letting my gaze follow her until it couldn't do so anymore.

“Donna, Donna...” a shrill voice brought me out of my enthrallment, Angie.

The doll climbed up my body without permission, approaching my ear.

“Don't you notice something strange?” the puppet asked with a discreet whisper.

“What? No, why do you say that?” I asked, frowning and looking towards the hallway. “She seemed tired.”

“Yes, yes... tired,” Angie sighed, shaking her head. “Are you blind? The fool was hiding something.”

“Don't call her that,” I complained, lowering the doll to the floor, without taking my eye off the hallway. “I've told you a thousand times that she's not a fool.”

“Oh, yes, you're the fool,” the puppet said, crossing her arms in disinterest. “Have you seen what she had in her pocket?”

“No,” I said, looking down with the shadow of doubt beginning to cover me. “In her pocket?”

“I've seen it, I see everything,” Angie murmured, unintentionally, making me think.

“W-Well, so what if she had something in her pocket? Are you ever going to stop distrusting her?” I protested, blinking erratically.

“You distrust her, don't try to pretend, I know you,” Angie said, pointing at me unpleasantly.

“No, I don't...”  I sighed, clearing my throat. “Hey, stop... putting ideas in my head.”

“Whatever, silly Donna, let yourself be fooled,” she said mockingly, pointing with her head towards the hallway. “I'm telling you that the silly... I mean (Y/N) is hiding something.”

“And I'm telling you that she's not,” I insisted, trying to fight my jealousy, that distrust that Angie always made me see she had.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't help thinking that one day... I would lose her.

“Find out for yourself,” Angie said, pointing back to the hallway. “Do you want know what’s going to happen if you ask her to shower with you?”

“What? I-I don't understand you...”

“It's clear, silly Donna, (Y/N) was hiding something in her pocket, she's probably already hidden it so she shouldn't have any problem with you joining her,” the doll speculated, making me doubt again.

“Okay, I'll do it so you can see that you're wrong,” I finally said, walking towards the elevator.

The doubt would always torment me mercilessly. Even without Angie, I knew myself that I couldn't fight it. (Y/N) hated my jealousy and I really tried to hide it. But sometimes, especially when she left me, even for a while, it came back to my mind, to stalk me, to increase my madness.

“Oh, Donna,” (Y/N) said, already in the shower, looking at me with an elegant smile. “Do you want something?”

“No, I… are you sure you don't want me to accompany you?” I asked unintentionally, not wanting to listen to Angie, but doing so, letting my jealousy lead me to listen to that unbearable part of my conscience

“Well, now that you mention it, I could use some company,” she whispered, poking her head and making a gesture with her finger. “Get undressed and come here, my love.”

I would have preferred a rejection, an excuse, something that would have made me go back to the kitchen. But Angie was right. She said the same thing would happen, that, somehow (Y/N) was herself again and she had gotten rid of something she was hiding.

“O-On second thought, I'd rather make dinner,” I said in a dark voice.

(Y/N) shrugged, not surprised by my sudden changes of mind. After all, she was already used to dealing with my sick mind, tothe point of making me believe that she could be manipulating me.

“As you wish, my love, I won't be long,” she whispered, putting her head back in the shower while I slowly closed the door.

“I told you!” Angie shrieked, who was, of course, listening.

I shook my head with an angry growl.

“Angie, stop... giving me reasons to worry,” I hissed, walking towards the kitchen, trying to forget, to not dwell on that stupidity.

“I only make you realize,” said the doll, chasing me relentlessly down the hall. “Why don't you take a look in the room? I'm sure she's hidden it there.”

“She hasn't hidden anything, she's not hiding anything, do you understand? Lasciami estare,” I protested as I walked.

“Oh, but you do think so. You're walking towards the bedroom, Donna,” the doll mocked when I realized she was right, that my path had altered towards the dark room.

“Yes, so that... so you see that you're wrong,” I said, turning on the light and walking around the bed. “See? There's nothing here.”

“Of course there's nothing, do you think she's stupid?” Angie said, searching under the sheets, in the dresser, searching the room, next to me. “Look in her nightstand.”

“I'm not going to look in her nightstand, it's her stuff,” I said, shaking my head, glancing at the piece of furniture, which, mysteriously, had the drawer half open.

“Her stuff are yours, silly Donna, or so it should be,” Angie said as I walked slowly towards the drawer.

“No... that's not right. (Y/N) doesn't like me to think that way, she likes to have her own room,” I murmured, thinking for a second about opening the drawer, but closing it immediately. “You do nothing but torture me, Angie, behave or else...”

“You torture yourself, what does it cost you to open that damn drawer and get rid of your doubts? She doesn't have to find out,” Angie insinuated in a sing-song voice, pointing at the drawer.

I, furious, but wanting to appear firm, refused for a moment, but I couldn't bear the pressure. With a strong pull, I opened the drawer again, taking a look inside.

“You see? There's nothing...” I said triumphantly, but my smile faded when I noticed something strange, a small box that before, I was sure, wasn't there. “There's... nothing.”

“What is that?”

“Non lo so…” I murmured, gathering my courage and taking the small box, opening it to discover something that at first, almost made me cry with joy.

Inside the small box was a ring, a shiny ring. My heart was beating hard and I sat up in bed while Angie watched over my shoulder.

“A-Angie, this is…” I stammered, unable to control my excitement. “Gods, Angie…”

“Oh…” the doll sighed, jumping up and down on the bed. “Wedding, wedding, wedding…”

“(Y/N), tesoro…” I said excitedly, covering my mouth with my hands. “Amore mio…”

“See? It doesn't hurt to clear up doubts,” the doll said, holding me by the shoulders.

“Come on, let's put it away, surely (Y/N) wants this to be a surprise.”

“Yes, yes,” the doll repeated as I closed the box. “Wait, what is that?”

“Mm?” I murmured, looking where the doll was pointing, at a small, unsealed envelope, which contained a letter, a letter I should never have read. “Oh, (Y/N),” I sighed, thinking it would be a declaration of love, the fruit of a constant rehearsal that would surely explain so many times she left the house.

My love, I can't live like this anymore, my life becomes a torment when you're not by my side. I know she would never allow it, that I have to lie to her.

I thought I was braver. Day and night I think about you, about our forbidden encounters. I only have one way to show you that you are the place I want to be, that she can't stop me from loving you and that she never will again. I count the hours until you give me an answer, so that we can end our forbidden love and finally be what we really want. Marry me, let's run away from the darkness.

I love you, Ivana

My hands shook holding the note, my mind was confused, reading over and over those words that I didn't know how to interpret. My name wasn't there. There was nothing that indicated that this note was for me, because it wasn't.

“Donna, what...?” Angie asked, surely seeing me turn pale, seeing how the emotion disappeared from my face, seeing how my eye began to shine in a different way.

She was cheating on me, she had declared her love to a girl I didn't know, to someone else who wasn't me. My rational thought didn't matter at that moment. I could only imagine horrible visions of my girl in the arms of another woman, in night escapades far from me, in a hidden love, surely because of the fear she really had of me.

(Y/N) never loved me, she only pretended to do so in order to have the opportunity to escape, to live that forbidden love she had, that real love.

I wasn't furious, just paralyzed. My chest was slowly tearing as a scream crossed my heart, breaking it into a thousand pieces.

“Wow, the shower was amazing,” (Y/N) said, entering the room, still not knowing that I was there, that I had discovered her secret. “Oh, Donna, what...?”

I didn't look at her, as my breathing suddenly accelerated, as did her, seeing me with the ring and the note, she sighed with a look of terror.

“Hey! What are you doing with that?” she asked with a frown, snatching the ring from me. “Have you been rummaging through my stuff again?”

I shook my head, clenching my teeth and getting out of bed.

“You dare to accuse me?” I hissed as she put away the box and the note, with an annoyed look that made me react. “How dare you?”

“Donna, how many times have I told you not to spy on me?” she asked smugly, crossing her arms.

“You have the nerve to demand me, (Y/N)…” I hissed, approaching her, making her back off. “Don't bother pretending, I know everything.”

“What? What do you know?” she asked, holding my gaze in an almost masterful way. “That's not for you.”

“I know it's not for me!” I shrieked, letting out my rage. “You're a bitch, (Y/N), how dare you to cheat on me?”

“Donna, stop insulting me,” she said calm, too calm. “You're misinterpreting things again.”

“A ring and a love note to a certain Ivana,” I repeated with a nervous laugh. “How can you misinterpret that? You've been cheating on me… for how long?”

“The letter and the ring aren't mine, they're from a friend who…”

“Now you're lying to me?! Do you think I'm stupid!? That you can fool me!?” I shouted, echoing off the walls, cornering my girlfriend against a wall. “You've fooled me!”

“Donna, that's enough!” said (Y/N), shaking her head. “Stop talking nonsense and listen to me…”

“I don't want to listen to you! This time you're not going to take me for a fool, not like other times,” I growled, hitting the wall right next to her head. “It has your handwriting on it… it's your fucking handwriting, (Y/N)… What are you thinking? That I'm so crazy that I wouldn't notice?”

“Okay…” she sighed, making a calming gesture with her hands. “Okay, Donna, relax, there's an explanation for everything.”

“An explanation?” I asked, arching an eyebrow, shaking my head. “Of course there is, tesoro… sei una troia! You've been dating a girl on the sly! You're going to leave me for her! You were waiting for the moment, weren't you? When I wasn't aware, you'd disappear…”

“No, no honey, listen to me, you're really nervous,” (Y/N) said, putting a hand on my shoulder, one that I pushed away with a furious gasp. “Donna…”

“Don't tell me to calm down… don't you dare!” I screamed, mixing anger with tears, with the worst disappointment of my life. “I was stupid for believing that you really loved me, for believing that you didn't care about my appearance… what is she like? She's beautiful, isn't she? She doesn't have this disgusting thing on her face,” I said, pointing at my scar.

“Donna, for Gods' sake, let me explain... it's not what you think,” (Y/N) insisted, mocking me, laughing in my face. “My love, I love you, it has nothing to do with you, I have a friend who...”

“It's your fucking handwriting...” I growled, clenching my fists, holding back the urge to hurt her.

“Yes, well it's my handwriting, but Viktor has a terrible one and that's why he asked me to...” she said, increasingly nervous, scared, fearing me.

“Taci! Chiudi quella Cazzo di bocca!” I shrieked, making her back off again. “You're good at pretending, really, I really thought you loved me...”

“Donna, I love you,” the girl sighed, with tears in her eyes. “If you'd let me explain... it's all a misunderstanding.”

“I don't want to listen to you! Misunderstanding? Don't be stupid,” I hissed, with the same nervous laugh. “Misunderstanding was believing that you loved me, that you were different. But no, you're like everyone else, a cowardly rat who doesn't even dare to tell me that she's in love with someone else... Why, (Y/N)? Am I scary to you, is that it? Are you afraid that I'll kill you if I find out that you're with someone else?”

“L-Listen to me Donna, I know that I can't do anything to make you stop acting like a jealous little girl, but this time, honey, you're wrong,” she said, frowning, with an arrogance that almost made me lose my mind even more.

“Of course I'm wrong, I was wrong about you, (Y/N),” I whispered, moving away from her, passing a hand over my forehead, my whole body shaking, my heart breaking into pieces.

“You're not thinking clearly, honey, it's not you…” she sighed, trying to caress my cheek, a gesture that I avoided by slapping her hand. “Donna, please calm down, I'll bring you your medication so I can explain to you that…”

“Yes, now you intend to drug me, right? To run away with your lover and marry her… You should marry me!” I yelled, pushing her furiously.

“Donna, my love… come to your senses, please… it's not what you think,” she insisted, making me roar with rage and shake my head.

“Get out, (Y/N), get out of my house,” I growled, pointing at the door.

“What? No,” (Y/N) said, with a sad look, tears running down her cheeks. “I'm not going to leave. I want to be with you…”

“Don't touch me!” I screamed after another attempt by (Y/N) to get closer. “I don't want to even think about how many girls you've fucked while you were with me, while you said you loved me… You're a whore…”

(Y/N) gasped with a sob, succumbing to the pressure and giving me a loud slap that made my face spin.

“Gods, I'm sorry…” she said seconds later, while I calmed the itch of my wounded skin with a hand on my cheek. “Donna, forgive me, it's just that… it's that you won't let me explain to you that…”

“Fuori,” I whispered without looking at her face.

“Donna…”

“Get out! Get out! Get out of my house! Don't you dare come back, you bitch! Porca puttana! Ti odio, ti odio, ti odio, ti odio! Get out, get out of my house! Get out, get out, get out!”

“Donna…” she sobbed, shaking her head. “My love…”

“Go away…” I whispered, still trembling, approaching her and giving her a nasty push that almost made her stumble. “Get out! Go away or… or… or I'll kill you!”

She left. She left me that night, she fled from my ferocity, from my madness, she fulfilled my suspicions, and she abandoned me forever.

The rage calmed down with the sudden loneliness, with the cold of her absence. She returned for a moment to collect the evidence of her infidelity, she cried, but she didn't say anything. I didn't say anything, but I didn't cry.

It wasn't until some time had passed that I was unable to calculate that reality fell heavily on my shoulders, forcing me to fall to the floor, to scream, to cry, to break things, to shout her name over and over again.

The only thing that mattered to me, the only thing that made eternal life worth living was gone, she had cheated on me. I lamented, I protested, I cried out to the Gods to stop mocking me, but I didn't succeed.

My penance wasn’t discovering her deception, but the loneliness she left behind. She obeyed me, she didn't come back; she never came back.

The passage of time stopped making sense to me, I locked myself in even more, but I couldn't do it the way I wanted to. My hands were clumsy, unintentionally creating her favorite foods, sculpting her face on my dolls as a silent appeal to my feelings.

Yes, she would have left anyway, but at least she would pretend to love me a little more, just a little more. My life became black, dark and even more miserable. Every night I dreamed she was still with me, that her body warmed the cold of my heart, none of that had happened, but they were just lies, dreams.

Even if she didn't love me, I couldn't help but love her with all my soul, love the ghost of what was once our love. My misfortune fell on my body, on my mind. The episodes of madness became persistent, without being able to stop them, because she was no longer with me.

I spent too much time like that, so much so that it took me a while to realize that a year, 365 days, 12 months had passed without (Y/N) by my side. I cried, I screamed, I broke everything within my reach. The days were torture, the nights were even worse.

One day, someone came to see me. It wasn't her, but a young maid from the castle. According to my sister Alcina, I was even worrying Mother Miranda. Her name was Rebecca and she was... well, she was beautiful.

Little by little, those visits began to be frequent and my head made me think, it made me believe for a moment that the girl began to replace (Y/N) in my dreams. She didn't run away from me either, she wasn't afraid of me, she just stayed with me, listening to my crying.

Little by little, I began a deeper journey into my madness, trying to hold on to the idea of ​​finding in her some resemblance to (Y/N) so that I could start wanting to feel something for her. My absurd plan didn't work. That Rebecca was stupid. She didn't like to read, she didn't find my dolls fascinating.

No, she wasn't (Y/N). I don't know why I insisted on pretending that she could love me.

“My lady, you must cheer up,” the maid said, seeing that my curiosity began to wane, that I realized she wasn't (Y/N), that (Y/N) couldn't be replaced by a girl as stupid as her.

“Mm” A dry murmur was my answer, while her hand wandered through mine, without her caresses being reciprocated.

“Come on... I'm sure I can do something for you,” Rebecca insisted, looking for my gaze behind the black veil. “Come... let me help you...”

She came too close, but I didn't pay attention to her. That stupid girl always took much more than she should and her shy approaches were increasingly risky and shameless. Her hand began to wander over my leg, sneaking under my dress. I knew what she wanted, but I didn't care.

“Like this, my lady? Do you like this?” she asked while caressing me, while her hand ran over my shame without feeling any qualms or desire to stop.

I didn't say anything, I simply closed my eye. Maybe some lust wouldn't be so bad for me, maybe I could remember those nights of passion with (Y/N), imagine that it was her who touched me... I was never sane, but my madness had reached dangerous limits.

I didn't enjoy those caresses, I didn't feel anything. I didn't want to feel anything. Fortunately, the sound of the phone interrupted her intrusion, interrupted that deception she was playing on my poor heart.

“Oh, it must be Alcina,” she said, moving her hand away with a seductive smile, disappearing down the hall.

My sister's calls were common and I never gave them any importance, surely she wanted to make sure that her maid hadn't suffered my wrath.

“That stupid girl... why is she talking with Alcina again?” Angie commented, appearing by surprise.

“I don't know,” I answered indifferently, with a tired sigh.

“Aren't you curious?” the doll asked, pointing at the living room phone, which had stopped ringing. “Come on, Donna, you threw (Y/N) out for much less…”

“Don't mention her name,” I said furiously, getting up from the sofa and walking towards the phone. “Cazzo…”

“Have you done your job, Rebecca? My patience is wearing thin,” my sister's voice reached my ear as I spied on the conversation.

“No, my lady, I'm afraid your sister won't listen to reason, although today I almost got her,” the maid answered, making me frown. “It won't be long before she gets carried away, I'm irresistible.”

“Oh, I already know that… I'm convinced that Donna won't be long before she succumbs to your charms,” Alcina answered, with a smug laugh. “She needs to get better, to feel loved, you understand? And what better way to do so than some sex with a beautiful maid like you…”

I should have assumed that girl would never notice me of her own free will. Angie was right; I'm blind, completely blind. My lack of experience dealing with my feelings had made me fail twice, but it wouldn't a third time.

“Yes, my lady, I look forward to my compensation, my lady,” the girl said, hanging up the phone while I did the same.

I should never have bothered to listen to that stupid woman. I could never fall in love again. I never had the right to. A horrible eternity awaited me without her, without (Y/N), my soulmate, the only one I ever loved, and the only one I would always love.

“Well, excuse the interruption,” the maid said, returning to the living room, where I was waiting for her, ready to get rid of her false devotion. “What is it that…? Ah, help!” she suddenly shrieked, at the same time I raised my hand to make her suffer.

“Get out…” I hissed, guiding her torture, making her run away from her worst fears.

“No, no! Leave me alone!” she shrieked, running terrified out the door.

Rebecca left and my twisted mind couldn't help but rejoice. If I had to live with that memory, with (Y/N) only in my dreams, so be it.

And so, I got to where I was at that moment, rethinking the doll's words, ones that, after remembering how I had gotten to that situation, reverberated in my head.

“If you don't do anything, you'll lose her forever...”

“Oh, cazzo,” I growled, getting up from the chair and looking for my black veil, covering my face again before doing something that I really didn't want to do.

“Where are you going, silly Donna? Are you going to listen to your friend Angie?” the doll mocked, with an amused smile.

“Shut up... I'm going... I'm going to get some air,” I lied, walking out the door while the doll's laughter penetrated my ears.

Of course I knew where (Y/N) had gone, what was going on in her life. The Duke provided me with the information I needed, and the guilty pleasure of knowing that stupid Ivana didn't take her heart. She surely betrayed (Y/N), like (Y/N) did with me.

I walked with a fixed course, avoiding the terrified eyes, the curious whispers of the villagers. I had a clear objective, but with my steps it was blurred until I reached the cabin, that secluded corner where (Y/N) had lived for a damn year.

“I shouldn't have left Angie at home,” I muttered, hesitating whether to knock on the door or not, looking around, searching for an answer, something to say.

(Y/N) opened the door before I could knock and her expression, her beauty left me speechless. Her eyebrows arched and her mouth slowly opened, as if she had seen what I am, a ghost.

“Donna,” she said dryly, shaking her head and crossing her arms. “What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?”

I couldn't answer, I simply shrugged. Luckily, my expressions were hidden under the black veil. She couldn't see how my eye sparkled when I saw her again.

“Uh, I guess I underestimated you,” (Y/N) whispered, leaning over the door frame. “What do you want? I'm busy.”

Hearing those hurtful words, I turned around, nodding slowly, confirming that it had been a bad idea to go to that place, to meet my memories again.

“Oh, wait, wait,” she said, taking several steps towards me. “Um... I'm not really busy, maybe you'd like some tea,” she offered with a distrustful look.

“Va bene,” I whispered, nodding and turning on my heels, entering the small cabin under her watchful gaze.

“Sit down,” (Y/N) said, pointing to a small sofa.

I obeyed as I looked at her new life, that cold and pitiful cabin.

Why did you have to deceive me, (Y/N)? Why did you have to do it?

“Here you are,” she said after a moment of waiting, sitting far, far away from me.

“Grazie,” I whispered, slowly taking the cup.

“What have you come for?” the girl asked abruptly, hardening her expression. “I haven't heard from you for a whole year, and suddenly you show up at my house for tea, what are you up to?”

I could hear the resentment, the rage, the hatred in her voice. That should have been reason enough to leave forever, but I didn't, I couldn't do it.

“Have you come to apologize?” (Y/N) asked cockily, something that made me tremble, remembering those horrible moments.

“No, I came for you to apologize,” I said furiously, shaking my head. “I have nothing to apologize for, (Y/N), you cheated on me.”

“Oh, straight to the point...” she sighed. “What audacity, Donna, you show up at my house after having thrown me out of yours to tell me to apologize… Do you really think about what you do?”

“You cheated on me, you are the one who has to apologize,” I said, pointing at her with my finger, trembling.

“I never cheated on you! Damn it… a whole year and you are not able to understand it, right? I never cheated on you, it was just a product of your fucking jealousy and paranoia,” she protested, getting to my level.

“Are you still denying it after all this time? I think it wasn’t a good idea to come, (Y/N),” I said calmly, holding back my desire to scream. “How can you continue denying the evidence?”

“I will deny it until I die, Donna, because it's a lie. I never cheated on you, I was always loyal to you, but you didn't listen to me,” (Y/N) hissed, gaining courage to face me. “You never let me give you an explanation!”

“There is no explanation,” I said, approaching her slowly, this time, without her backing away, losing the fear. “The ring and the letter were for your whore.”

She laughed, shaking her head and crossing her arms, biting her tongue.

“It wasn't mine!” she shrieked, clenching her fists tightly. “That letter, that ring weren't mine, it wasn't for my lover, don't you understand? My friend Viktor wanted to confess to his girlfriend and asked me to hide them at home because his mother was always against his relationship with Ivana, I did him a favor, I wrote the letter because his handwriting was intelligible…”

“Mm,” I muttered ignoring her pathetic defense. “That's the best thing you've come up with in a whole year? I thought you were smarter, (Y/N).”

“I see you haven't changed at all, you're still… The same jealous crazy woman as always!” she shrieked pointing her finger at my chest. “You know what? Don't believe me, I don't care. You were always the same, Donna, jealous, impulsive… Well, you know what? Fuck you…”

“I wouldn't be jealous if you didn't give me reasons to be!” I shouted, grabbing her arm tightly. “You cheated on me!”

“I never cheated on you! I could never do something like that because I loved you, Donna, I love you!” she shrieked, breaking free from my grip. “But I'm not going to keep wasting my time to make you understand, I have, I have to learn to live without you…”

“Are you playing the victim? Do you know what I've been through all this time?” I accused, chasing her through the house.

“Do you know what I've been through? No, you don't, you only think about yourself,” she whispered.

“Bugiarda,” I said, running out of answers that didn't seem childish.

“Ugh, you're…” (Y/N) growled, clenching her hands, kicking the floor, interrupted by some strange knocks on the door. “Shit.”

“Oh, is she your lover?” I asked sarcastically.

“I'll tell you so you understand: vaffanculo,” (Y/N) hissed, pushing me with her shoulder before opening the door.

“Fanculo a te!” I shrieked, furious.

“Oh, Ivana…” she sighed, mentioning a name that set off my alarms again.

“(Y/N), it seems I'm coming at a bad time so…” that girl said, looking at me scared and turning around.

She couldn't run away, (Y/N) grabbed her arm tightly, dragging her close to me.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, come here, come closer,” (Y/N) said, putting that slut in front of me and taking her arm, stretching it out. “Look, Donna, do you see this? Does it sound familiar?”

I looked reluctantly, discovering on one of her fingers a shiny ring, identical to the one I found that night.

“M-My ring? Oh yes, Viktor must have saved up a lot to buy it,” Ivana commented, visibly terrified. “Do you like it, Lady Beneviento?”

“Oh, yes, you love it, don't you, Donna?” (Y/N) mocked.

I blinked, with different thoughts crossing my head. Everything matched, the girl's name, the boy's name, a wedding ring on her other hand... The truth fell on me like a bucket of cold water. No, she never lied to me, she never cheated on me.

It was all my fault.

“W-Well, I just came to tell you that Vik and I are having a child and I wanted to celebrate it with the person who made it possible, but I'll come back another time, okay?” Ivana said, comically fleeing from my presence, stumbling along the way.

“Yes, go, oh, and congratulations,” (Y/N) said, closing the door and letting an angry sigh escape from her lips. “You, leave too.”

“Wait, (Y/N),” I said, approaching slowly, letting a tear roll down my cheek. “Is that true? Were you telling me the truth?”

“Donna, I've never lied to you,” she said, crossing her arms, holding back a sob.

“Why didn't you tell me?” I asked in a small voice.

“Because I know how you get, Donna. Fuck, you didn’t even let me explain it to you, you kicked me out of your house without giving me the right to defend myself,” she whispered, a little calmer. “You were always the same, honey, you always doubted me and I…”

“(Y/N),” I said, kneeling on the floor, pushing the black veil away from my face, begging for mercy. “Please, I beg you to forgive me… it was a misunderstanding and…”

“A misunderstanding? It’s always a misunderstanding, Donna, you were always the same, always your… fucking jealousy… You don’t know how much it hurt me to think that you thought I had cheated on you, that you didn’t know how much I loved you, how much… I love you…”

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, lowering my head. “Gods, I'm so sorry... I just, I was scared of losing you and... (Y/N), I haven't stopped thinking about you all this time, I...”

“Me neither, but I'm tired, Donna, tired of your doubts, of your jealousy. I'd love to forgive you and continue as always, but I can't do it,” she said, pulling away and shaking her head, wiping away her tears. “Leave, Donna, please.”

She was right, I was stupid and I lost her because of me. I could have screamed, begged for forgiveness, but I saw the pain in her eyes, she could never forgive me, because I behaved like, like a monster.

I just nodded, getting up from the floor and covering my shattered face with the veil, walking towards the door.

“Gods, come here…” (Y/N) whispered, turning me around, pushing aside my veil and kissing me deeply on the lips, leaving me stuck to the ground, unable to react. “Donna, why do you have to make everything so difficult?”

“(Y/N), I…” I murmured, letting myself be carried away by the pleasure of her kisses, of that reunion that I had dreamed of so much. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being a sick and jealous woman who is not capable of… of loving.”

“No, no darling…” she sighed, cupping my face in her hands. “I know you can love, I really do, but it's just… Oh, my love… if only you knew how much I've missed you…”

“G-Give me another chance, I beg you, I promise I'll never doubt you again,” I pleaded, squeezing her hands tightly, making her hiss in pain. “Per favore…”

“I would like to believe you, Donna…” she whispered, freeing herself from my grip and caressing my cheek. “But… it's going to be hard for me to do so, you'll have to earn it, do you hear me?”

“What?” I asked startled, blinking in confusion. “So…? Will you come back to me?”

“Yes, my love, I could never be with anyone else but you, you're the love of my life, my soulmate… Together we'll overcome those stupid things you have in your head. I'm sure we will…” she said, kissing me again. “No more misunderstandings, okay?”

“Okay, (Y/N)…”

[mxckiemxn]

Standby

Chapter 2-Signs

Warnings: swearing, violence, death, anxiety, weapon use (guns, knives, etc), vivid descriptions of gore, mentions of torture (no main characters), slight hostage situation, slight mentions of dissociation, reader may be losing it a bit idk idk

Word Count: 6,038

Taglist: @rkive-joonie @tweetiebirb

Authors note: this one is a bit of a doozy lol. Reader just cannot catch a break 😔 (I know it’s my fault but it builds character lmao). There’s quite a bit of foreshadowing thrown in here so I’d love to hear y’all’s theories 🙊. Let me know what y’all think about this chapter, and as always, feel free to reblog if you like it! ~Mackie 💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's now been two days since you met Hobi and his friends, and today you were going to help them look for supplies. You couldn't quite comprehend why you’d volunteered to go out. You didn't have nearly as much experience as they did when it came to dealing with the zombies. Yeah, maybe it was easier to face them when you were part of a group, but you had been alone up until now.

You had the basic knowledge of how to deal with them, but no amount of preparation or intelligence could take away the overwhelming reality of the current state of the world. The truth is, nothing is guaranteed. There are no promises that could be made in regard to someone’s safety, they’d all be empty.

The harsh reality is that at any given moment, one of us could turn into a monster. Whether it happens because you’ve been bitten and are now infected, or you simply give in to the darkness inside of you. Either way, becoming something that you don’t want to become seems somewhat inevitable at this point.

You already felt it from the moment this mess began. You saw it when you fired a bullet directly into a zombie’s head to save Hobi. Sure, zombies were just a shell of the person that they once were, but they were still a person at some point. A human being with thoughts, feelings, goals, and aspirations. Someone who was loved by others and loved those people right back. You couldn’t help but wonder if the only difference between zombies and those who were still alive was as simple as a heartbeat.

There was no time to reconsider the solidity of your moral compass. The boys took you in and you needed to help them. Fresh water and a warm meal was somewhat unheard of these days, but that didn’t stop them from doing what they could for you.

You dressed yourself in a pair of jeans, along with a long sleeved shirt and boots before tying your hair up into a ponytail and sliding on a black baseball cap. You gave yourself one final look over before grabbing your gun and heading downstairs. Everyone else was already down there, standing in the dining room. Everyone’s bags were laid out on the dining table along with various weapons. You were greeted by Jimin who was leaning against the countertop.

“Ah, Y/N!” He exclaimed, drawing everyone’s attention towards you, as he motioned for you to stand by him.

“Good morning, everyone.” You greeted as you joined Jimin.

Much to your surprise, Hobi didn’t rush over to greet you as he did the previous morning. Instead, he remained silent as he stood in the corner by Yoongi who also kept quiet as his sight remained glued to the floor.

Great, they’re both upset with me. You thought to yourself. You understood Hobi’s hesitation when it came to you deciding to join them on a supply run. I mean, you were going in a smaller group opposite of his, and according to his statement to Taehyung the other day, he promised himself that he’d protect you. Yoongi, however, was a mystery. One that you were sure you’d figure out one day, but today was not that day.

“Are you ready?” Namjoon asked as he walked over to you, handing you your bag.

“I’m ready.” You said between a deep breath.

“Each group has a radio, including myself. They’re long range so team one and team two will be able to alert each other in case they need help. I won’t be able to hear you all once you pass the halfway point.” He said, referring to the location in between each team’s destination and the house. “Keep your gun in your back pocket but avoid using it if you don't have to. You don’t want to alert more zombies than you need to. I placed a miniature hatchet in your bag, use that if you can.” He finished as you nodded in response.

“We’ll be taking mine and Yoongi’s cars this time, so let’s try to get as much as we can.” Jin added.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You all made your way outside and began loading up the separate vehicles. You were in the middle of sorting through your bag, pulling out the hatchet to have it prepared when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around and were met with Hobi’s kind eyes.

“Hi.” He said softly with a weak smile.

“Hey. Listen, I know that you want me stay back but-“ you began but were interrupted as Hobi gently held up your arm, taking off the bracelet on his wrist and placing it on yours. “What’s this?” You asked as you began examining it. It was purple and twine-like with beads that spelled out “hope” in the middle.

“This is my favorite bracelet. I never take it off.” He stated simply, as he kept a gentle hold on your wrist.

“So, why are you giving it to me?” You asked, a bit bewildered.

“Because it’s my favorite, which means that you have no choice but to be safe and make it back home so you can return it to me.” He said sweetly, causing you to reach up to wrap your arms around his neck.

“I promise to give it back to you.” You whispered as you pulled away to look at him. He didn’t try to stop you from going. Didn’t try to argue with you about it. As much as he didn’t like it, he respected your decision and accepted it as your own to make.

“We should get going. Be safe out there, Y/N.”

“You be safe too, Hobi.” You told him before climbing into the backseat. Yoongi entered the driver's side with Jimin in the passenger. You all gave Namjoon a final wave before pulling off, following behind Jin’s car.

The car ride was silent. Even Jimin, who was typically a ball of energy, kept quiet. It seemed like everyone was nervous about the trip and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was the same for the other group.

“Namjoon Hyung, we’ve made it to the halfway point.” Jimin spoke into the radio, letting Namjoon know that we would no longer be in contact with him.

Your anxiety arose slightly as the car in front of you made a left while your car made a right. This was it. No going back now. Yoongi drove for a few more minutes before the car came to a stop.

“Fuck.” He said, causing you to look out of the front window. The rest of the path was blocked off by a row of cars.

“What should we do?” Jimin asked as he looked at Yoongi.

“There’s no way for us to drive through. We’re going to have to walk. We aren’t too far away from the shop.” He groaned as he began pulling the car to the side of the road before parking. “Radio the other team, let them know that we’re continuing on foot.”

Jimin did as he was told, letting Jin know that our path was blocked and that the only way we’d get through is by walking.

“Alright, we need to move carefully. I don’t know if those cars were placed there in an attempt to keep zombies out or people. Either way, we stay alert and don’t draw any attention to ourselves.” Yoongi said as he glanced at both you and Jimin.

You hadn’t considered that the barrier might’ve been created to prevent people from getting through. The fact that some people were still alive was new to you.

“What do you mean, could there be another group here?” You asked him.

“I don’t know. Hopefully we don’t find out.” He stated simply. You turned your attention to Jimin who seemed as anxious as you were.

“We’ll be okay.” Jimin said and you weren’t sure if he was trying to reassure you or himself. Either way, it wasn’t very convincing.

You all made your way out of the car, weapons in hand as you began making your journey. Yoongi led the way with Jimin behind and you following. Slowing down as you all came across a sign hanging from a traffic light reading “TURN BACK”.

“Let’s keep moving.” Yoongi whispered.

As you reached your destination, you all found yourselves staring at the entrance. The doors and windows were all locked and none of you wanted to risk breaking them as it’d alert anything around you.

“Let’s check the rear entrance.” You said, as you began circling the building with the others trailing behind you. The back door was locked as well but you noticed a window to the right side of it that was ajar. It wasn’t excessively high up, but there’s no way that you all could climb through on your own.

“One of us could climb in through here and open the door for the others.” You stated as you turned to face the two behind you.

“Jimin-ah, lift me up. I’ll let you both in.” Yoongi said as he began taking his backpack off.

“No, I can do it.” You said, handing your bag to Yoongi.

“Y/N, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Jimin asked you with a hint of hesitation in his tone.

“She’s not going. We have no clue what’s waiting for us on the other side.” Yoongi stated sternly.

“I wasn’t asking for permission. What makes you think that you can tell me what I can and can’t do?” You argued.

“I’m the one leading this goddamn team.” He snapped back.

“Well, I’m the only one with a gun, Yoongi. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one who knows how to use one.” You refuted as you looked at the both of them.

Yoongi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. You were right and he knew it. You were the only one within your group who could fire a guaranteed shot. “Hoseok’s going to fucking kill me.” He groaned.

“Y/N, get on my shoulders and see if anything is in there.” Jimin told you, doing his best to cut through the tension. You nodded as you carefully climbed onto his shoulders as Yoongi kept a hand on your back to keep you from falling.

You attempted to open the window more, stopping abruptly and cringing a bit as you heard it begin to squeak. The wind started to pick up, allowing the scent of the room to air out. You began smelling the familiar stench of a rotting corpse, causing you to gag a bit as you covered your nose with your sleeve. It was then that you noticed the amount of dried blood all over the floor and walls.

There were some hidden corners in the room, and you were unsure if a zombie or another person could be occupying them. You were taken from your thoughts as you heard a light growl. You turned your attention to the sound, breath catching in your lungs as you saw it. Out of the shadows, a zombie appeared. It was a male and he looked young, probably in his early twenties.

As he got closer, you saw something that you were sure would never leave your mind. His eyes were gone, almost as if they’d been perfectly gouged from his head. It was clear that he hadn’t done it to himself, as you noticed that his wrists had been zip tied together and a sign hung from his neck reading “TRAITOR”.

As he dragged his feet across the floor, it became evident that he couldn’t see you. You looked down at Yoongi who was watching you with a concerned expression, as he saw how uneasy you looked. You said nothing, however. Instead, you raised a finger to your lips, signaling him to remain silent. Namjoon’s words lingered in your mind, reminding you not to use your gun unless you absolutely had to.

You carefully began crawling through the window, attempting to remain as quiet as possible. There was a desk directly below the window with papers and cans scattered around it. Your movements remained slow as you entered the other side, doing your best not to knock anything over in the process. Luckily, you succeeded but now you were wondering how you’d get down without knocking anything over.

You crouched down and placed your hands on the table for support. You managed to guide your feet to the floor and readied yourself, gripping the hatchet in your hand tightly. You took small steps to the creature who was swaying side to side. You felt a hint of guilt as your eyes remained fixed on his hollow, bloody sockets.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, causing the creature to open his mouth and let out a deep groan. You cut him off as your hatchet made connection with his skull, landing right in the middle. He remained still for a moment, mouth still hanging open before he began to fall. You carefully guided his lifeless body to the floor, refusing to let him go until he was completely flat. You didn’t know if anything else was roaming around here, and the last thing you needed was a loud thud giving away your position.

You released a shaky breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding as you looked at him. He died twice. You thought to yourself. You didn’t know who he was or what he did, but you knew that he didn’t deserve to die that way. It was unclear if he was bitten before he’d been tortured or after. Either way, he didn’t pass away peacefully. He was murdered brutally.

You shook your head as you tried to push away those thoughts, guiding your attention back to the task at hand. You turned to the door, carefully pushing it open to allow the two men to enter. Jimin’s eyes met yours and he quickly came to check on you. It wasn’t until that moment that you realized you’d been crying.

“Holy fuck.” Yoongi whispered causing Jimin to turn his attention to whatever Yoongi was looking at.

“How could someone do that?” Jimin said, now understanding why you were so upset.

“It doesn’t matter. He can rest now. C'mon, let’s get what we need and get out of here.” You said in an emotionless tone as you began wiping your tears.

“She’s right, Jimin. Let’s go.” Yoongi’s tone was a bit different than it had been before. His words were soft, but there was a hint of sadness coating them. Maybe he was going through the same thought process as you were. You turned to face him. The look he gave you was one of empathy, and he offered you a reassuring nod that you reciprocated.

Yoongi began leading the way once again, cautiously stepping out of the room as Jimin followed. You stopped in the doorway, turning to face the corpse once again. “I hope you’re at peace.” You whispered before following the other two.

You all searched around for supplies, finding various canned goods and some drinks as well. You grabbed some hygienic products that you found scattered along the floor before continuing your search. You paused as you came across some books. You looked around to make sure that the others weren’t watching you before directing your attention back to them.

You weren’t sure what it was, but something within you felt the need to make amends with Yoongi. Sure, he was being a bit of an asshole earlier, but we were all just trying to do our best to survive. You thought for a moment before grabbing a couple of them to give to Yoongi once you all made it back home, placing them in the front pocket of your bag. You began looking for more supplies again, finding more cans of food hidden underneath one of the shelves.

You stretched your arm out as you tried to reach all of them, your hands brushing against something small and flat. You laughed lightly as you inspected the item. It was a chocolate bar, still wrapped perfectly. You began searching for a date to make sure it was still good, letting out a satisfied hum when you saw that it wasn’t expired yet. You placed it in your bag next to Yoongi’s books. You figured you could give it to Hobi when you returned his bracelet to him.

Once you all were certain that you’d properly cleaned out the shop, you began making your way back to the car.

“We made it!” Jimin said buoyantly as you all climbed into your seats.

You were relieved to say the least, but you still couldn’t shake that image from your mind. You’ve seen zombies before and you knew that each of them had a story, but this was the first time that you’d witnessed something so intense.

“I’m going to check on the others.” Yoongi said as he reached for the radio.

“Seokjin Hyung?” Yoongi spoke into the device.

“Yeah, are you all alright?” Jin responded rather quickly.

“We’re okay. We’re heading back now. Are you guys almost done?” Yoongi asked.

“We’ve just left. See you soon.” Jin said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The drive back wasn’t nearly as silent as before, but the energy was still lackluster.

“I think we should tell the others about what we saw. We don’t know if the people who did that are still out there.” Yoongi stated. You didn’t want to relive that experience, but you understood where he was coming from. So, you agreed, as did Jimin. If someone could do something like that to someone they knew, then what would they do to complete strangers?

As you approached the house, you saw Namjoon and the others unloading the first car. They all turned their direction to your group, waving and offering big smiles. You barely had time to step out of the car before Hobi ran up to you, embracing you in a tight hug which you reciprocated.

“You made it!” He said brightly.

“I promised you I would.” You laughed.

“I missed you.” He said as he pulled away, keeping his hands on your shoulders.

“I missed you too, Hobi. Actually, I got you something.” You told him. You turned to grab your bag and opened the front pocket to redeem the chocolate bar before handing it to him. “I only found one, so don’t let the others see.” You whispered.

“You should keep it for yourself then!” He said with wide eyes as he tried to give it back to you, causing you to cross your arms.

“Nope, I got it for you. Someone so sweet should have something sweet.” You said, causing him to smile bigger than he already was. You weren’t sure how it was even possible, but you enjoyed the view, nonetheless.

“Thank you, Y/N! Let’s split it.” He insisted.

“Whatever you want, Hobi.” You agreed, motioning for him to hide it as the others began walking up to you, greeting you with warm smiles.

They were happy to see you, and you were just as happy to see them. You didn’t know them well at all, but you still found yourself comforted by their presence.

After everyone unloaded their bags onto the dining table, the boys began looking through everything. Seokjin’s team had a great haul, also finding various canned goods and drinks along with a few snacks like chips and protein bars that were still good. You managed to sneak upstairs to hide the books you grabbed for Yoongi. You placed them in the bedside table along with your gun before heading back downstairs.

All of the items had been put away into the cabinets and everyone was sitting at the table, chatting away as Namjoon finished plating the food he’d made for us. Just like the previous day, you sat in between Hobi and Jimin. Namjoon passed out bowls of soup to everyone. No one’s bowls were completely full as we needed to make sure things lasted as long as possible.

Everyone began talking amongst each other and this time you allowed yourself to join them. You felt as if you were getting to know them better as they told you about their lives’ when everything was normal, and you told them about yours. Jungkook told you about all of his tattoos, and you two joked about getting matching ones when all of this ended. If all of this ended.

You realized that you’d never given Hobi back his bracelet, and it seemed like he forgot to ask for it back.

“Here, I forgot to give this back to you.” You said softly, holding the piece of jewelry in your hand for him to take.

“You keep it.” He told you.

“But it’s your favorite.”

“It is, but I want you to hold onto it for a bit longer. Think of it as your lucky charm.”

You thought for a moment as you put the bracelet back on. You wanted to give him something in return. Something that would inspire him to stay safe at all costs, because he knew that he’d need to return it to you at some point. It felt like a lightbulb turned on when you realized that your hair was still in a ponytail, and you were still wearing your hat.

“Choose.” You told him, holding both your hat and your scrunchie in each hand. He began tapping his finger against his chin in an animated manner.

“How about this? It’s basically the same thing.” He said as he pointed to your scrunchie, causing you to laugh a bit as you slid the item onto his wrist.

“There, now we both have lucky charms.”

Everyone finished their meals, but we all remained at the table. Far too engrossed in our conversations to be bothered with getting up from our seats.

“Everyone-“ Yoongi spoke loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. “Jimin, Y/N, and I witnessed something during our trip that we think you all should know about.” He finished. You and Jimin shared an uncomfortable look with each other. Neither of you wanted to talk about it, but you knew that it needed to be done.

“What happened?” Namjoon asked inquisitively.

You guys told them everything. About the cars, the sign in the road, the zombie. Every weird thing that you witnessed. You made sure to avoid mentioning the fact that you entered the building on your own, knowing that Hobi would be pissed at Yoongi and Jimin for allowing it. They didn’t express it, but they noticed what you were doing, and they were grateful for it.

“That’s awful.” Tae said as he sighed deeply at the end of the story.

“You guys didn’t see anyone around?” Jin asked.

“No, we didn’t. We weren’t sure if they’d left or if they were dead now too.” You told him.

“I’m just glad that you all made it back safely.” Jungkook stated.

“This isn’t good. There’s no telling how long that guy had been there.” Namjoon said, somewhat stating the obvious. Although, we were all thinking the same thing.

“What should we do? I mean, if they’re still alive and they’re still around, what’s to say we won’t run into them?” Jin asked.

“Maybe we should consider moving?” Hobi suggested.

It was an uncomfortable thing to think about, but this was the reality you all were faced with. The people who killed that man could still be alive and for all you knew, they could still be in the area. No one could say how many there were of them. We couldn’t just take a risk and assume that we’d be fine.

“It’s something to think about. We’ve talked about going somewhere else when we couldn’t find any more supplies, but we never planned for something like this.” Namjoon said.

You all remained silent for a moment as everyone began weighing out the options, not that there was a lot to begin with.

“Y/N, I need something from you.” Namjoon said, causing you to sit up and give him your full attention.

“What is it?” You asked.

“I need you to teach us all how to shoot.” He stated, causing everyone to turn to you.

“I can do that. We need to find somewhere that we can practice without making too much noise.” You told them.

“I agree. I know we were trying to avoid making two trips this week, but we’re going to need more guns. Ideally, everyone would be armed.” Namjoon said.

“There’s a shooting range not too far from here. I think that they sold rifles as well for hunting.” Yoongi stated.

“We can start searching there. Maybe we can find some suppressors as well, it’d make training a lot easier." You responded.

“It’s settled. I’ll go with you and everyone else will stay here.” Namjoon stated.

“Shouldn’t half of us go? I can come too. It’s dangerous for both of you to go alone.” Hobi asked.

“It is dangerous, which is exactly why you all need to stay here. A group is too noticeable. I’m not sending Y/N out by herself, and I don’t know enough about guns. Besides, I stayed back today.” Namjoon told him.

“We’ll be ok. Maybe you guys could try securing the house a bit more? It would give us some extra protection until we decide where we’re going.” You stated to everyone, but you were mainly speaking to Hobi in an attempt to calm his nerves.

“We still have a few hours of daylight left. We can go now.” You told Namjoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone who was hanging back remained at the table, discussing ways that they could secure the house. You ran upstairs to grab your things and headed back down.

“Here.” Yoongi said as he placed his car keys in your hand. “Namjoon doesn’t have a lot of experience driving. You can take my car. It has more gas in it than Jin’s.” He continued.

“Thank you.” You said as you placed the keys in your pocket.

“It’s no problem. Just don’t wreck it.” He lightheartedly joked.

“Oh, I’m going to drive it into the nearest tree.” You said sarcastically, causing him to roll his eyes but you could see the smirk that he was trying to hide.

“Are you ready?” Namjoon asked as he grabbed his bag.

“Yep, let’s go.” You told him before quickly making your way over to Hobi. “We’ll be back before you know it.” You whispered to him, trying not to interrupt the others who were still talking.

“I know you will. We still have a chocolate bar to split.” He said, causing you to let out a small laugh.

Yoongi wasn’t lying when he said that the range wasn’t far. It took less than 10 minutes to get there, which was relieving. You felt as if you and Namjoon could grab what you needed without much trouble. As you parked the car across the street from the store, you couldn’t help the confusion building inside of you. The windows were still intact, seeming as if no one had attempted to get in.

“Don’t you think it’s weird that no one’s broken in?” You asked as you turned to face Namjoon.

“A little bit. I think that they may have protective glass. Maybe that’s why?” He suggested.

“I guess that could be it. How in the hell are we supposed to get in then?”

“We’ll just have to scope out the area. I can try to pick the lock if I need to.” He said, causing you to nod.

As you both made your way to the store entrance, you began looking through the windows in search of any zombies or people, just as Jimin had instructed you to do earlier in the day. Everything seemed perfectly intact. No guns were missing from the walls behind the counter. There was no indication that someone had gone in and trashed the place, it all looked untouched.

“I’m going to check around the back. Maybe there’s an entry point there.” You told Namjoon as he began fumbling with the lock, letting out a low hum in response.

As you began circling the building you felt as if you were repeating your steps, just at a different store. You knew that history tended to repeat itself, but you’d hoped that it wouldn’t happen to you within the same day.

Once you reached the back of the building, you paused for moment and peeked around the corner as you noticed a truck parked in the back. Your intuition seemed to be screaming at you. Sure, there were tons of abandoned cars everywhere, but something in you made you feel as if that one still belonged to someone.

You quickly made your way to the front of the range to let Namjoon know what you saw, but you froze as you reached your destination. The door hung wide open with no sign of the man you came here with. He could’ve easily gotten in on his own, but you knew that he wouldn’t have just left you. You took a deep breath before readying your gun as you snuck into the building.

You carefully peeked around each corner as you began heading down the hallway. You slowed down a bit as you heard sounds of a struggle and a voice that belonged to your friend.

“Get the fuck off of me!” He yelled.

“No, not until you tell me why you’re here. Are you alone?” You heard another man’s voice tell him.

“For fucks sake I was looking for a gun and I’m by myself.” Namjoon said. He wasn’t going to let this random man know that you were with him.

You peeked around the corner with caution, the man’s back was facing you as he had Namjoon pinned the floor with a knife to his neck. You slowly creeped up behind him, putting the gun to his head and clicking it.

“Drop your weapon and get off of him.” You said sternly, hoping that he couldn’t sense the shaking of your hands.

The man did as he was told, dropping the knife beside him and standing up with his hands raised. He attempted to turn around to face you, but you pressed the gun harder against him, causing him to stop with a flinch.

“Don’t fucking move unless I say so!” You yelled as you began pushing him, directing him to stand against the wall. You glanced at Namjoon who was trying to catch his breath as he stood up.

“Go find something to tie him up with.” You told him, cocking your head to the side as to guide him.

“L-look, I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to hurt him. I just wanted to know who he was.” The man stuttered.

“Don’t lie to me.” You told him.

“We can work this out! You guys can take whatever you need, and we’ll go on about our days.” He pleaded.

“Something tells me that it won’t be that simple.” You told him.

“I found some rope.” Namjoon said as he sprinted back into the room.

“Put your hands behind your back.” You instructed the man, who did as he was told.

“Tie him up.” You directed Namjoon as you kept the gun pressed to the man’s head.

Namjoon quickly did as you instructed him to do, unsure of what the end plan was. To be honest, you didn’t know either. You were just trying to find a way to keep the two of you safe without having to injure the man.

“Here.” You whispered as you carefully guided Namjoon's right hand to take the place of yours holding the gun. “Keep an eye on him. If he moves, pull the trigger.” You finished, making sure to state the last sentence loud enough for the man to hear.

Once you were sure that Namjoon was in a good position, you quickly grabbed both of your bags and made your way to the front of the store to fill them up. You grabbed everything that you could including bullets, handguns, suppressors, and the two hunting rifles that were hanging on the wall.

You began loading one of the rifles that was hanging by its strap on your shoulder and headed back to Namjoon. The man was babbling on about any and everything in an attempt to persuade the two of you to release him.

“You won’t get away with this!” He cried. “My friends will come looking for me.”

“Listen to me-“ you said, cutting him off. “We are going to leave and you aren’t going to try and stop us. I’m not going to kill you, but I promise you that if you or any of your friends try to find us, I will not hesitate. I will kill each and every one of you. Do you understand me?” You growled.

“Y-yes. I understand.” He whined.

“Good. Get down on your knees, do not turn around.” You instructed, as you handed Namjoon back his bag.

Once the man was on the floor, you began backing out of the room with Namjoon following you. You quickly closed the door and grabbed a chair, placing it underneath the doorknob before hastily returning to the car and speeding off.

“Shit!” Namjoon breathed.

You didn’t respond. Too focused on the road and checking your mirrors to make sure that you weren’t being followed.

“You saved my life, Y/N. Thank you.” Namjoon expressed gratefully.

“You don’t need to thank me. You would’ve done the same.” You breathed, slowly relaxing a bit when you were a good distance away from the building.

“I know, but still. I wouldn’t have made it out of there if it weren’t for you.”

“Do you think he was being honest about his friends?” You questioned as his words replayed in your mind.

Namjoon signed deeply before responding. Shaking his head lightly. “I don’t know.” He admitted as he turned to face you.

You simply nodded as you bit your lip and attempted to fight the tears that were burning your eyes. You knew that you did what you needed to do. The man would’ve killed the both of you had you not threatened him, but there was still a sense of guilt as you felt your humanity fading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two of you walked through the front door, finally relaxing a bit. The others were quick to try and greet you, but you remained silent as you looked at all of the faces around you. Smiles slowly fading as they saw the distressed look on both yours and Namjoon’s faces.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked, eyes bouncing between you and the man stood beside you.

“We ran into another survivor.” Namjoon stated.

You weren’t even sure how it happened, but everyone ended up in the living room. Eyes glued to Namjoon as he told them what happened. You, however, weren’t listening. Instead, you sat on the floor with your legs crossed as you began looking through the bags and loaded each of the guns. It wasn’t until a voice called your name that you looked up. Everyone was staring at you in disbelief.

“Y/N?” Taehyung called out softly. “Are you alright?” He asked, his tone laced with concern.

“I’m fine.“ A lie. “I promise.“ Another lie. Without another word, you returned your attention to the weapons laid in front of you.

“We don’t have much time. I don’t know if that guy was being honest or not, but I don’t want to wait around to find out. Y/N will teach us how to use the guns and we’ll prepare to move.” Namjoon announced.

That’s two lives you’ve saved. Two lives within the span of two days. You weren’t sure what was happening to you, but it seemed as if by the snap of a finger, something changed. You no longer felt guilty. You no longer felt afraid.

Looking at the men around you, the ones you were so grateful for, you felt nothing except determination. Not a single person or thing would come between you and your friends. Each and every single one of you would make it through, together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previous Next

[skygirlstars]

❤️🧡💛🏳️‍🌈 for unpopular asks game!

yayy thank you for the ask!! this was so fun. it's yappin' time

❤️: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

this is a tough one because there's so many lol. Barriss (not a villain), Han (not a player), literally SO many of the Jedi, the list goes on. but I think Luke is one of the most interesting cases because I feel he's mischaracterized in different ways by different sides of the fandom. there's the dudebros who think he's just badass, which he is, but nothing else. his most important character trait is quite literally his compassion because it drives the plot of the whole OT. he's a kind and empathetic person, not some embodiment of toxic masculinity bullshit. on the other hand, there's the poor little meow meowfication and infantilization of him from another side of the fandom. yes he's a ray of sunshine but that doesn't mean he can't be tough too!!! he's nice but he also has zero tolerance for bullshit, is headstrong and stubborn, and the furthest thing from shy. many people (myself included) headcanon him as gay or bi and that characterization of him also enforces really harmful stereotypes and narratives about queer men. so in summary, a lot of the fandom mischaracterizes him through a lens of either toxic masculinity or harmful stereotypes. not fun. that got way longer than it was supposed to be, whoops 🙃

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

in-universe: that Padmé was somehow manipulated into loving Anakin, whether by Anakin subconsciously using the Force, or by Palpatine, or whatever. nope, my girl Padmé just has horrendous taste in men (case in point: my least favorite SW character, Clovis 🤢). she saw the red flags and decided red was her favorite color. stay delusional queen. out-of-universe: DISNEY LUCASFILM IS NOT GOING TO RETCON THE SEQUELS FFS. that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard sorry not sorry. Disney admitting they made something not good??? not possible. I can't believe people still honestly believe this. the sequels are not my faves either but with the amount of money made off them anyway, a retcon is not happening

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

do we consider Reylo popular??? it's very divisive so idk if it counts. but I hate it lol, it's the yucky toxic BookTok type of enemies to lovers. bro deadass tortured her. me personally, I wouldn't let that slide. they also feel like Force cousins or something in a weird roundabout way...? we've already had one incestuous kiss in SW, don't need another. also Rey is lesbian imo. if we're not counting Reylo as popular, I quite dislike Sabezra just because I see them very much as siblings. honestly, any ship where I see the characters as siblings feels icky to me -- Anisoka, Rexsoka, Obikin, etc (although siblings vibes is not my only complaint with those examples, unlike Sabezra).

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

quite honestly I think this is the hardest one for me because I headcanon so many characters as queer HAHA. my personal philosophy for fictional characters is bi until proven otherwise lol. maybe Ben Solo/Kylo? idk how much he's HCed as queer but I think he and Hux are shipped fairly often and I just don't see it lol. that's a straight man, I'm afraid. but he's really the only one I can think of off the top of my head, though I'm sure there are more

here's the original ask game if anyone else wants to have a go or wants me to answer any others (please send me asks I love asks I love yapping)

[aquilacalvitium]

A bunch of thoughts that are incomprehensible to people who aren't Cirque Du Soleil fans

Target and Nico have the same energy and would almost definitely be friends

Someone please introduce Aviator from Quidam and Aviator from Kurios to each other, they'd be besties

Klara moves like a clockwork doll and it's mesmerising to watch

You can see Time Master's effects on the flow of time by watching Klara and Microcosmos in the background

This meme I made

I think Gongli (chair balancer from Koozã) would be Carlos' (chair balancer from Kurios) plus one at Klara's dinner parties

Volta's ending is a tad abrupt methinks

Ela is just awesome, everything about her is awesome, I want to be friends with her

Is that other person with blue feathers in Volta another character? Or is he still Waz? It's a bit ambiguous and I'm not good at subtext

Quidam (the character) somehow manages to be somewhat intimidating while also having very strong "safe person" energy

The Seeker suddenly gains two assistants in Creature De Siam that have not existed at all up to this point

They always turn even the singers into characters in the shows and I love that so much

They always manage to do something with the stage itself, from traps doors to a revolving platform to prop tracks and sometimes more than one of the above

I tried learning French so I can understand the characters but it is an evil language and putting myself through that would count as self-torture /j

The wiki refers to the train at the beginning of Kurios as Mister Microcosmos' outfit but he is standing elsewhere on stage when the train comes in so I actually have no idea who that is

Time Master doesn't get enough appreciation, I get that he isn't as merchandise-able as Klara and Nico and Mister Microcosmos but his act, aside from Chaos Troupe 1900, is definitely my favourite

Also the track for his act is not on the ost and that is a crime

Neither is the track that plays between 11h11 and Bella Donna Twist or the track that pays right before Hypnotique

And for some reason Departure is half of the track for Hand Theatre and then suddenly goes into the track before Dangerous Flight? I'm a bit confused there

I've started assigning names to character who don't have names or who's names I can't find anywhere

I refer to them by their actor's names like Carlos and Gongli

If they're a group or I can't find the actor's names I make something up I.e. I refer to the banquine performers in Kurios as The Beachgoers because I mean look at them it's a fitting name

WHY DID THEY RETIRE MICHAEL FROM KOOZÄ HE'S MY FAVOURITE CLOWN IN THE SHOW I WILL FOREVER BE UPSET ABOUT THIS

Also I can't find a single good quality picture of Michael in his grotesque-whiteface-esque costume that he wears for the whole show apart from during his pickpocket routine which is weird

I kinda can't stop staring at Klara or Nico any time they're on stage because their individual styles of body language are just fascinating

How does Quidam (the show) have such specific energy? I can't think of a better word than ethereal. Like it's unsettling but also feels safe and familiar somehow? Idk but I love it

WHY isn't Bella Donna present for the finale? That woman carried so much of Bella Donna Twist and then dips??? Give that woman the standing ovation she deserves!!!

The Quid Pro Quo/Mr Wow Show scene has probably more dialogue than the entirety of most of Cirque Du Soleil shows I've seen

Waz's outfit on Quid Pro Quo is. Something. I really want to know how that was made and what materials were used - this is coming from a guy with ZERO interest in textiles

Actually all of the outfits in Volta are crazy, even the Grays have interesting stuff going on, major props to the costume department

The fourth wall may or may not exist at any given point in time and it's fun to look for it

Especially when there are characters who thrive of off breaking the fourth wall (all clowns) vs characters who never once break the fourth wall (I.e. The Innocent or Ela or the Curios)

I DID NOT MEAN TO HIT POST THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT

I guess if I have any more thoughts I'll just come back and edit this post

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

My dear August! 💖

for the fanfic writer asks

:🤡🛒✨️🦅⏳️🤭🤲

Have a lovely day!

mari i need you to understand that sending me 100000 emojis doesnt get me to answer faster in fact it makes me TOO happy and then i have to stare at it forever and now you have to wait :(( [i wrote that nine hours ago, i swore i'd finish the spreadsheet first then answer but here we are 💀) oh well… here is my labor of yapping about myself for Many Paragraphs!

🤡 - What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

mmmmm this is difficult. i have a terrible judgement for humor and i only ever remember the emotional parts of my fics so let me think. if i have to pick from recently it'd probably be something from one demon's peril but now that i think about it, one big one that sticks out to me is this old ass fic from whumptober. it feels very first drafy to me (much potential but in need of much polishing). reread to grab the things i love the most and i have thirteen but im narrowing it down to three. here (context: crowley has been locked and tortured in a dungeon for like two months and its 537 ad. aziraphale came to rescue him. he's having a Time)

Crowley takes a look at the blown up door, which displayed the hall very graphically. From his vantage point, he can spot three bodies of silver peeking from under various fallen rocks and smoldered torches. They mustn't've had a chance to realize. "Y' kill'd 'em?" "What? No!” This sobers Aziraphale right up from his near tearful confession. “No, no, it was just a product of their own actions! I didn’t make them stand under the ceiling when it caved in. Nor did I put them in any of their comrades’ sword lengths, or make any torches fall on them, because it was all the walls! Damn rickety infrastructure. It doesn’t count, Crowley. Technically. Therefore I feel no remorse. You know how Heaven is with those consequences. They’re not even all dead!”

--

"So..." Crowley drums the rusting cuffs on his wrists, which are currently hung over his head very tightly. He’s sat so he can face to his right, where another human is hung a few feet away. “What brings you here, fellow human?” The human remains silent. Their head rests lolled on their chest, neck twisted in an unnatural angle and skin molting off like grey badly-melted wax. Their clothes—which, maybe a few years ago, were a noble knight’s chainmail—have fallen off in between all the bits and bobs of the human skeleton. One of the eyes has rolled out and onto their lap. It is covered in a fine coat of dust. The hollow socket has a maggot crawling out. Crowley huffs, and turns away. “Touché.”

--

Crowley starts missing his shirt, for Satan’s sake. Things really were getting dire.

they're not the best but they're MINE. ily an angel who goes along with heaven (as far as he can) <3

🛒 - What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

mmmmmmmmmm so so so so much. ill start with words themselves. there's certain word structures i use and idk if people can tell but i use them a LOTTT because they work and i like them. here's a list of a couple of many

"[talking about a big topic]--well. [realization]"

"there are [#] reasons why this is happening"

"if [character] wasn't a coward/awkward..."

(pov character is feeling intense emotions) "there this, and there's this, and this, and this, and this and this and this--"

anddddd so much more. as for more symbolism things,,, i loveeeeee bookshop fire connections. i loveeeee experiencing grief as an immortal being who shouldn't theoretically have a concept of this emotion. i loveeeee argument scenes. i loveeeee using inner coflict as a drive to.make them grow closer in the end because despite meaning everything they said they can still work through it. i loveeeeee being Too Late to save the day despite theoreticslly doing everything right. i loveeee exploring heaven's hubris being the very thing that makes them flawed and ends in their downfall (assuming aziraphale isn't worth dealing with until its too late and/or its flawed system begging to be brought down organically/being too proud to consider amyone being intelligent enough to ousmart them/mirroring them as human society as large). i like the concept of heaven being flawed and the exact opposite of what i've been taught of it as a child okay im OKAY (no)

✨️ - Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it.

errrrr its very distinct. i read my work in a very specific caedance i can't do for any other work so i'm glad i've found that personal rhythem :)

🦅 - Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

ohhhh let me TELL YOUUUU. the process. step by step. please (short answer is yes, long answer is Complicated)

so i use Notion to organize my notes. its very useful, has a lot of features, etc. i have one page to be the hub for all my outlines (i'm on my phone in bed so bear with me)

this masterpage is where all the outlines go. they became so long i gave them their own pages. i shall be using the "fairytales" fic as an example of a typical outline...

we begin with an image of an.image of what the fic would theoretically look on ao3 s o i can remember shit quickly (as well as a short catchy summary under it). i covered most of it up but its there

then we get to the bg info. the details i thought of as the fic was first ever being written down plus some new sources i found to back uo the existence of it. i stay ORGANIZED. also there's atimeline if i need it (which is usualy only for historical fics because i need to keep track of multiple time periods).

then we FINALLY get to the nitty gritty. i put whatever notes i need for the overall tone of the fic on top, then separate chapters into togglable bullet points that can collapse on themselves with the working chapter titles. if possible, i divide them to acts to feel more accomplished. :) (✅️ means the chapter's completed) (chapter one had no outline, those usually dont).

THEN its divided even more inside the bullet points as u can see, headed by time period anf what scene it is. i then just start writing down stuff i want to happen as if i were telling a friend the story outloud. gives it a Real Feeling (talking about it as if it is real and already happened to some you know as gossip) to the story. sometimes its as incoherant as "crowkey is on a bus" to taking whole sections line for line in the firsrt draft because well when ur storytelling to ur friend u wanna be FUNNY so some natual gems do come out once in a blue moon..

also here's an example of jusy how shitty it can get

and then i turn it in an actual THING because im like this makes PERFECT sense surely i xan see it playing out in my mind (which I CAN!). very cool. a bit of a Process and kindaaa rigid, but it works for me!! :D

⌛️ - How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

the fastest i've ever done is turning 2k words of dogshit into 11k words(3 chapters) of Good Shit in 5 days. alas that was an outlier, because usually, it takes months for me to sit my ass down and write something new if i dont have an external deadline. i plan to try and fix that once my bangs are over, but for now, i'll stick to reading and bringing out 5k words ever six months :) (WATCH. THIS YEAR WILL BE MY YEARRRRR [hasnt posted anything before last week since january])

🤭 - Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

im getting so close to a mega long post so i wont elaborate but i will say mmmmmm ily "aziraphale&crowley thru the ages" "whump" "comedy" "graphic depictions of corpses" and "au - canon divergence" <3

🤲 - Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

FAIRYTALE WIP BECAUSE IVE BEEN MENTIONING JT A LOT (i need to SLEEP GOOD NIGHT EBERYONE AND THANKS MARI FOR THE WONDERFUL ASK!!!)

Aziraphale is gone for ten minutes when Crowley plays that last sentence back in his head. He hadn’t really been thinking about it before, not when the rush of victory had been prevalent and he’d been sitting there staring out the window like a lovestruck idiot, but now that he’s had to sit with it, Crowley finds something very wrong with that last comment. Amber. Crowley knows colors. Knowing colors is a part of his job. ‘Amber’ implies a yellow-ish hue, which would be fine in a context like complimenting the walls or noting the center of a baby’s breath bud—but as far as the florist knew, his eyes were meant to be brown. Crowley jumps out of his chair the same moment Eric deems it alright to re-enter the shop. Whatever overly-grovelish apologies he’s spewing are inaudible to Crowley as he comes up with the brilliant idea of using the window glass as a mirror. He leans in, cursing himself for removing his sunglasses to get that better view because of course he needed perfection, anything but would be outright unthinkable, and— —he’s met with unmistakable yellow bleeding on the edges of his eyes.

BEDTIME NOWW

[writinandcrying]

Hihi! I was wondering if you could do a matchup for a male character for ROTTMNT if they are open and or possible👀i have never done this before so please forgive me if I left out anything important- if your requests are closed then feel free to ignore and or delete!

I am 5'5", trans!masculine (i also identify as nonbinary and a demiboy) and i use he/they pronouns (dysphoria sucks..) I am pansexual but sometimes i have a preference towards men. My personality type is INFP and I dislike any form of social interactions, avoiding them the best i can. I can sit down and work on something for hours at a time and forget to do things such as eating or brushing my teeth before i go to bed but i also have trouble sitting down and working on other things such as homework. I would say physical affection is definitely confusing with me, one minute i could be wanting affection and to be held or to hold someone but the next minute i don't want to be touched at all. I am have pretty bad sensory issues😶 My love languages are Physical Affection, Words of Affirmation, and Acts of Service. I love drawing and listening to music along with making music myself (via singing, playing piano, playing guitar, etc.) I act differently around certain people, if it's a close friend i will most likely show my true emotions. If it's just a friend i might mask my emotions slightly. If it's not a friend, i don't show any emotions that relate to how i actually feel. I have really dark humor and an example was how i was watching an anime episode and one of the characters was referring to a dead character and said "Look, it's a dead person." And i started crying of laughter. As for anything that can relate to ✨insecurities✨i hate how i look, my hair is fine but i have been told i have a very round and baby-looking face, which i hate. I also hate how small my hands are, i am constantly reminded that they are small and it makes me very insecure to the point where i often walk with my hands in my pockets. I wear glasses since i am V E R Y farsighted and since i am a nerd for my own favorite topics i am often told i look like the nerd emoji (this one:🤓). I am just very insecure but will most likely bottle up my emotions and not let anyone know until someone says something even slightly kind about how i look.

I hope that this wasn't too much or too little or if your matchups are closed! I have never requested a matchup before hahah- i hope you have a very lovely rest of your day/night wherever you are! <3

Hi there! Sorry for taking so long to reply :(

I ship you with…

Casey Jones Jr!

(Obs: I have yet to watch the rise movie (I want to finish the series first, anyways I like to torture myself) BUT! I’ve read enough about him and seen some clips which I think I can grasp a bit of his personality, also idk what truly happens at the end of the movie but I’m guessing the turtles defeated the kraang and Casey now lives with them lol - if not, that’s what happens on this scenario!!!! anyways !!! I hope this makes up for it and isn’t too ooc!!!)

Casey has a really hard time fitting in, since being raised on a apocalyptic scenario, understanding new social cues on a “regular” / normal time line is really difficult, he finds he can be himself around you quite easily, and he tries his best to show you can also count on him whenever you want

He will remind you to take breaks when you hyper focus on whichever task you have in hand, he might even join in sometimes or ask if he can watch you work! (He finds your concentration face really cute) but yeah breaks are a must, he doesn’t want to see you overwork yourself

Also talking about our face: doesn’t matter how much you trash talk about it, he doesn’t agree with it, and he won’t stand it, at first he might be a bit taken back to make comments about it, but during the kraang invasion, those little sweet moments of admiring someone’s facetasse absolutely out of the picture, you just didn’t had the privilege or time for these kind of things, Casey has learned that you features brang peace to him, he caught himself thinking about each and every curve of your face, so no, he doesn’t agree with it. but you bet he will snort/laugh when you tell him about the 🤓 emoji analogy, it’s his favorite emoji now, loves it dearly

If the guys (turtle) ever tease about your body being “tiny” compared to theirs, Casey will step up to defend you, he’s not really the one for confrontation regarding the turtles; but he def has a soft spot for you, if you are ever having a difficult day with dysphoria, Casey will def try his best to help you in any way he can, you have become incredibly important to him and even if he gets shy, he will show it, Casey has lost too much way too soon, if there’s something he treasures it, he will go far and beyond to keep it in his reach

This was very brief, but once again I don’t want to go too overboard so it doesn’t come as ooc 🥲 but I hope you liked it!

Matchups are closed!

[bthump]

How many of your theories were confirmed true? Was it satisfying? Is there anything you predicted wrong and wish could change? Do you accept the story more or less for now? Is there anything that made you almost quit?

Thanks for asking!

Not a whole lot lol. Most specifically, I predicted that there were 4 previous Godhand members and Void was the last of that group/the first of this group. I predicted the Elfhelm quest going south and ending in misery, but I certainly did not predict how lol, and I wish it was more dark and more emphatically tragic, but tbf there's still some room to get worse that Guts is having his breakdown.

This is a bit of a stretch, but I consider Guts restlessly swinging his sword and asking himself what the hell he's supposed to do now in chapter 358 to be pretty close to confirmation of my theory that Guts bringing Casca to Elfhelm was basically a distraction for him, and a vague hope that fixing Casca would solve his problems that did not come to fruition.

I guess I kinda predicted Elfhelm having a shady history that becomes relevant, in that a bunch of ancient tortured soul-goo ate a bunch of people, or whatever lmao. I was hoping it would be relevant in a more interesting way, but I'd say it kinda counts.

I predicted Griffith crying at some point, but I didn't think it would be this soon, and it's still something he's blaming on the werebaby so it only half-counts.

Oh and I definitely called Guts seeing Griffith naked again, and Miura drawing more naked Griffith in general lol.

Among plenty of other things, I incorrectly predicted that the behelit would open and result in tragedy right after Casca gets her memories back, and that she'd sacrifice moonbaby, and I would love to change that lol, I think it would've been a ton of fun and a great set up for a third act. Still got my fingers crossed for the climax tho since that behelit's still hanging around.

The incorrect prediction that's definitely not gonna happen at any point now is Elfhelm turning out to be antagonistic in some way. And again, I definitely would've preferred that - I found the sudden evil goo, Elfhelm fading away, and Danann just being kind of sad and ineffectual, pretty underwhelming lol.

And enh, idk what accepting the story entails exactly. I reserve the right to be disappointed about how it goes lol, and to think it could've been better, or more personally enjoyable, if xyz happened, but I think that whatever is going to happen is probably roughly what Miura intended, and even if it's not what I want I can live with it. I'm not gonna be starting a #releasetherealending twitter campaign or anything lmao.

And nothing's made me nearly quit so far. I am a tried and true quitter of disappointing media though, so I could see myself dropping it in the future potentially - like what would happen is tumblr would die, or people would stop interacting with me on this blog so I'd stop updating it, and I'd stop keeping up with new chapters, and eventually I'd hear on the grapevine that it ended disappointingly with virtually no griffguts-y content, and I'd be like 'welp that's a shame, guess I'll never finish it.'

But yk, as long as I'm active on this blog, and as long as I have hope for more griffguts content lol, I'm gonna keep reading and discussing new chapters.

[forsakenwitchery]

I don't know how or why but WIndy vids just almost edit themselves? I’ve started this less than a day ago and I'm 2/3 done with a 3,5 mins Calabby vid. I also usually hate adding text and hate how it looks once the video is finished, but WIndy is just so pretty it makes even my text overlays look good. 😂

And since I have nowhere to vent about WIndy, I figured I might as well go ahead and use my almost abandoned tumblr for it. Not sure if it counts as a review or whatever, it’s a long read.

I actually thought I'd be doing another Tom/Abby video, but then Tom's torture barn happened and ummm... At this point I'm in too deep with both Tom and Tom/Abby, but I honestly have no idea how the writers are going to explain that one IF they plan on doing any kind of redemption arc with Tom. What happened to the guy he tortured last week? Did he kill him? Did he string Shane up before or after Abby came to him with her suspicions? 'Cause if it was after I can maaaaybe do a bit of mental gymnastics and explain it with “he thought Shane might be a danger to Abby”, but it looks like Tom put him in the barn before that? I get that there's no love lost between Tom and his family, and Tom’s def starting to see Abby, Kai & Independence as his chosen family that actually cares about him, but no matter how big of a moron Shane is, Tom potentially torturing his brother doesn’t sit well with me. And yeah, Kai literally hammered two people this episode, but that was self-defense... but Tom and the torture barn, twice? Um, no? I’ve seen too much true crime and people with torture anything are, well, never good people? I seriously need the show to elaborate on this and his asylum days to make sense of it all. Also not really related, but I’ve written some fanfiction for myself to keep my sanity during the hiatus and I came up with “Tom hates opium because of his asylum past” to explain some bits, so it was fun to see Tom hating the idea of an opium den, when your fanon becomes kinda canon. 

The gang sidelining Abby didn't sit well with me either. I've been thinking for weeks that it's strange they're all going solely on her seeing the killer. At night. In fear and shock. Having no real evidence it was Tom. Like even the evidence they thought would be evidence turned out... to be something completely different, like Tom’s sketchbook. I thought Gus would question it once he joins them but no, he was 100% on board as well. They followed Abby's lead blindly, but now pretty much not only banned her from helping with Kai, but also straight up left her to deal with the actual person who might have shot her on her own. I mostly love WIndy's writing, but this... This whole thing was just “make it make sense”, because it makes zero sense. 

I hope they find a way to write Calian back into the main story soon, I was actually surprised to see him only mid-episode. His own journey is heartbreaking and important, but as much as I love him I actually kinda forgot about him this episode?.. Until he appeared, that is. And his scene with Abby was probably my favorite scene this episode. It was very short, but the way those two support each other? Abby speaking Apache? They managed to fit SO MUCH in such a short scene. & hopefully news about his sister is not a dead end.

I just love Hoyt and Gus’ interactions. We need more of them. I need more of them. They balance each other so well, I love Hoyt the most when he’s aroung Gus, with Kate and Abby he’s usually the butt of their jokes, and he can be so much more. Like, their jokes are funny, but you can tell they kinda... upset him for the lack of better word, and around Gus he’s just at his full potential. 

Kate’s interactions with everyone are always amazing. Even if she’s in the wrong, like she was with Abby and Kai this week. But at this point I love Kate so much she has my full permission to idk get a torture ban of her own, I just love her THAT much, even when she’s wrong she’s THE queen of Independence.

I honeslty didn’t care much for Lily, but I definitely liked her more once she dropped the innocent act. Kai was amazing. And idk but to me it doesn’t seem like their friendship (or are there feelings on both sides?) with Kate is beyond fixing.

[wooahaeruby]

Hiiiiiiii I hope you are having a great day after ruining mine ( joke )

I have been reading your stuffs for a very long time now, and since I am a very impatient person ever existed in this planet so I have been reading bsh and it was one of my best and worst decision ever that I have made.

Best : because the storyline is so good LIKE INSANELY GOODDDDD I ALWAYS READ IT MOST OF THE TIMEEEE

Worst : because the work that you released recently on the site is making me insane and idk how will I survive the next 20 days.... LIKE AT THIS POINT I AM GOING INSANEEEEEEEEE

I recently went on your twitter as well and I have to give it to you cause like OH MY GODD WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A TWO HANDWRITTEN ONES OF BSH???? I DONʼT KNOW HOW WILL I SURVIVE TILL THE VERY ENDDDD 😭😭😭😭💥💥💥💥💥💥

I have to give it to you, you are really the first one that I have seen someone so much dedicated to story and I love finding writers like that and no one I repeat, NO ONE I have seen would write this well and deeply. The emotions, the scene, the vibes I have to GIVE IT TO YOUUUUUU but seriously how will I survive the next 20 days I am seriously going insane, this is how much your story has me on chokehold and pls let everyone be together at the end because I will not be the same person if they don’t I am begging you 😭😭😭😭😭 I love how it is going and more so, I hope this would bring them much more closer. I am trying not to spoil it too much, and I hope I am doing a great job. Bit seriously, I have to give to your mind.

I hope you are having a great day today! thank you so much for writing bsh and to you! ☺️💗💗💗💗💗

I'm-....

Are you okay? Have I scarred you with BSH? If so I am sorry lmao.

The most reason Chapter up on Ao3 was....a lot, I know, I'm insane (just a little~). So much is happening in BSH and It's consuming my entire being. My groupchat has a joke of either "Rip Mouse" or "RIP [Editor's name]" (even when I've done nOtHiNg wrong!).

I'm so so sososos happy you are enjoying BSH, she has been a labor of love and pain (and torturing my editor). I've honestly caught up one myself with both To You last year and BSH has been getting longer and longer and more things keep happening so I'm struggling to write sometimes! I have so many ideas but so little time to think between adulting and work! I'm sorry!!!

I am....3/4 of the way through the second notebook tbh and I'm not even close to being done. Typically how to write is 'here is a basis I want' by hand, and when I type it all up, it gets more detail and I can go back more and think about what I'd like to be added into the story. Many of the chapters you see are actually like that. I have little notes in my boarders to help me add details or recon something I missed!

I sincerely thank you for all your kind words, they mean more to me than you think! Writing has always been a way for me to decompress (if you count...BSH hurting people decompressing as my editor says...)

If you ever did want to discuss BSH, I don't bite! My DMs on twitter and Tumblr are always open to chat about my stories. It makes me so happy that my writing can make others so emotionally invested. I never like writing bland characters or story lines. I honestly have about a million other story ideas written out for the soulmate AUs (and others outside of that!)

I hope your day and the rest of your week is well! Please reach out if you are comfortable and if you'd like of course!

[slyshyfoxy]

Yo idk what the fuck have been going these days especially today I bump into some lgbtq ppl I think my miss today is I went to tell Megan about the issues that I had with faith I think big ass wrong move but I think at that point of time is just me panicking about it

And idk I think I’m too stressed or hard on myself these few days that I feel fking lost like about the faith situation also, honestly I think it has already ended, and she’s a god damn player bro, why do I still keep thinking about being bothered by her….. and I shdt have mention to ppl so much about it and care about it minimally, I dk why but this trimester I am doing badly cause of drama and all , I think I not gonna talk about it anymore. Focus on my studies , bro if u remod alr the loss is on u u know, like u remod u need take a whole new mod 2/3 months to do ur work u sure u want this? Just study and graduate no matter whatever u feeling right now is temporary , like feels like shit ah but u gotta get ur shit together; if u feel is too difficult and overwhelming for u just fucking cry and get over it and curse abit and just move on, move on by living in the present and having fun with ur friends, Tmr just go sch and do maths project ok?

Tmr I gonna do coursework for struct like try to finish it all, if not I’m very behind time alr. Which I am , I mean I could totally study now, which I will, stop fucking torturing urself with bad thoughts can anot don’t be loser u are just 22 and u got more lives to live and be happy.

Yesh things to know about it is faith and u are over, shes probably just playing with u ; and honestly I don’t think I fully even like her, u want an alcoholic to be ur gf?? No way LOL, u want someone to always get drunk and then have many shit outside ? No way DOOD LOL, like wtf no thanks hehe, and secondly a cheater, u can deal with it? And lastly no ambition….. like bruh, Bu Hao bah, the life I want is a luxurious life and she’s not even in the picture of all of it. Thanks for reminding my own self about this

And now I want you to feel proud so I’m gonna write stuffs that I’m proud of myself of so I can do even better in life. As much as I counted my bad things , why I didn’t praise myself for good things? Giving all the self love to myself

Such as being a TOP fsc for august and sept at age 22 who can do that ? Not everyone….

Jugggling and not giving up on school in SIT to get a cert, while working as an FSC.

Not giving up ⬆️ in my studies, even tho I’m very behind time.

Trying my best to survive, breaking bad cycles 🔁, trying to be consistent, acknowledging my mistakes , trying my best to be happy

Trying to be the best for myself, doing this journal thing. Don’t worry Jenny u will be fine, like is just temporary, if fail just remod only, take a bit longer time than others but always come out at the top later on. Jiayous !

U have many friends who care for u such as,

Marcus, eequan, Celest, kris, yz, putri, huiyi, Shankar , haney …. And so much more , ur parents, Megan, can’t u see it? Stay strong Jenny , u can do it, don’t worry about anything u can do it jyjy

- 24 Nov 2022

[snowshinobi]

idk what to tell y’all, i fell for Vinh Nguyen from @bodycountgame and spent several months writing a track for them <3

let’s drown [content warning: blood]

cut the electricity to every streetlight by the sea give the stars some room to breathe for the one I love 

they're the one I love, against the odds I've been thinkin' about it each time we stop  they've got paint on their hands, clouds in their eyes  I'm a knife in their pocket, witty turned wry

well, it'd be hell on the road with  anyone but them sat next to me and it's hell in my mind but they  put the fires out without bleeding

cut the electricity to every streetlight by the sea give the stars some room to breathe for the one I love  let them gently touch my wrist and so earnestly insist that the best way to stargaze is from the ground 

I've been thinking about it each time we stop they’re straightforward enough, warm—but quick to pause I say things that I half mean just to hear ‘em laugh  reaching over on instinct—I’ve got it bad

well, it’s been hell on the road with them right here why can’t I make a move?  yeah, it’s hell in my mind but they  prune the briars back without bleeding 

I wish you’d bleed! give me a mess, one I know how to read I wish you’d bleed! I’m glad you don’t, but it’s so hard coming clean!

[whoa x4] 

cut the electricity to every streetlight by the sea give the stars some room to breathe for the one I love 

with paint marks on your hands  and clouds caught in your eyes  you hold my knife sharp wit with such a tender grip  I don't have to fight