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A restaurant named You're Not Supposed To Be Here, where the whole point is that the vibes are unnerving. The lighting is weird, the whole place has a faint scent that's not a bad smell, but it's certainly not food smell and you can't quite identify what the hell it is. The music is weirdly janky and you can't quite tell what's wrong with it, the vocals aren't exactly garbled but sung in a language you swear you've never heard anywhere and couldn't name if you tried. Only hiring staff who have anxiety and they're 100% permitted to show how much your presence here stresses them out.

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Okay this comment I just came across deserves its own post. Imagine showing this to someone who's never used Tumblr and explaining why haikus are relevant in this context.

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Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken

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ms paint study from 2021

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the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week

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Leonid Pasternak  (Ukrainian, 1862–1945) - The Torments of Creative Work

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x

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i’m seeing a lot of people reblogging suicide hotlines and this is just a reminder that this is a suicide help line that works like a text-based instant messenger for people who may need to talk to someone but have trouble/are uncomfortable making phone calls

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imagine being at a funeral and you see one of the personnel pull out their phone with a mild air of urgency and they open tumblr and you just watch them type "it's a beautiful evening to microwave silverware" hit post and put their phone away like everything is normal

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Oxventure Deadlands Beach Episode

AKA Silas Learns About Seahorses

"Uhhh, Miss Edie?" Delacy said, looking up at her as the posse trudged seawards across the dunes, "I never really been t' the beach before, I ain't going to be swallowed by a shark am I?"

His first time seeing a shark was a particularly ferocious illustration on a poster only half an hour ago, so it was clear this matter had been weighing on his mind since then, despite the casual way in which he brought it up.

"Cause I reckon," he added, looking thoughtful, "it'd really ruin the day if I was."

"Oh, no honey, we won't be going out far enough into the water for any sharks to be around." Edie replied. "And I'll tell you what, if any do come a bit too close to you, I'll hit 'em in the nose, how's that sound?"

"Yeah. Alright."

A few moments later Delacy piped up again, "Well if we're not going too far out to sea, what will we be doing then?"

At this point, Nate took a short break from watching the skies for any gulls that may try and take off with one of his fingers or an ear or something to join the conversation.

"Y'know, as a boy, I would oft'n sit by the uhh local creek and catch small minnows with a piece o' string. Now, I do wonder if we may not be able to uhh do somethin' of a similar effect today. And by that I mean, o' course, rockpoolin'."

Miss Edie smiled broadly, glad at the prospect of another activity, "Oh yes! There's all sorts o' lovely critters you can find in rockpools: lil' tiny crabs, anemones, maybe even a seahorse! I-"

She was cut short by the sound of Silas tripping, stumbling, and finally, falling over a thick tuft of dune grass. The old-timey buckets and spades he was carrying clattered on the floor all around him.

"The hell did you just say?", he wheezed.

"Oh, uh, well I was talkin' about seahorses but-"

"Sea HORSES? SEA HORSES!? Goddamn- They were bad enough on land, but now they've come to torment me from 'neath the waves as well? Solid earth weren't good enough for those bastards eh? Goddamn horses!"

Silas' angry ranting subdued over the rest of the journey, eventually reaching a level of quiet muttering. Topics such as "never give me a moment's rest", "the ocean is a bit like hell if you think about it", and "goddamn horses" were occasionally heard by the rest of the posse but largely ignored.

#

By the time the orange sun began its descent over the horizon, everyone was very tired from all the splashing in the sea, and the games on the sand, but they all agreed they'd had a lovely time, even Silas.

-The End-

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big things happening

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— I believe it was a white dragon and it's wounded. It's probably looking for some place to heal up.

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NASA released the clearest pictures yet of our neighbours in the solar system

Oh and of course us

Honourable mention

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I do quite love that Robin’s first impression of Jack was that he was much like a knight, and then later Alan was introduced saying he had the appearance of a prince.

I would love to see that dynamic explored in a fic. Perhaps I shall have to write one myself.

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There was this guy in the 1800s - I can't remember his name, but his name is recorded somewhere - who honestly argued that if given the choice between a beautiful woman and a heron, deep down in their most earnest true heart, every man would rather fuck the heron. And he got mad when people denied this, continuing to deny this what he had decided must be an universal truth, instead of praising him for being the only one who was brave enough to finally say it out loud. Like he really thought that every single person telling him "Jesse what the hell are you talking about" was not only denying him, but denying themselves their true desires and perpetuating the apparently massive cultural lie that herons aren't fuckable.

Anyway what I'm saying here is that every once in a while whenever you find yourself in a situation where nobody else is willing to agree with something that you consider the most obvious truth, take a moment to meditate on the possibility that perhaps they do mean what they say, and perhaps they are right. Maybe nobody else but you wants to fuck the heron.

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nobody:

jack: /lounges bisexually