#idk if this counts as a character study

[whoblewboobear]

Thinking about Porter growing up around a big family that sheltered him because he was a lot smaller and a very impressionable. He’d sit around for hours listening to his grandparents talk about the house of sunstone and all their atrocities achievements. His grandmother always told him he could bring them back to glory. That his cousins were too focused on themselves and not the history.

His grandparents homeschooled him and raised him to be their perfect little soldier. They gave him books on war tactics and strategy to read. His grandfather taught him about rage and how to wield it in battle. Little Porter trusts his family with his life, he loves history, he gets rage. But he knows there’s more to the world than hiding out in the mountains. There’s no active wars for him to apply his skills to. But there is adventuring. He’s seen parties pass through, offering to trade or asking to stay a night or two.

Sometimes he’ll peer at them from the shadows. Watching them cleaning their weapons and telling stories around a campfire, drinking and enjoying each other’s company. The older he gets, the more he ventures out to spend time with them until a party offers for him to join them.

He’s torn at first, but adventure is calling and he knows he needs it, craves it. He steals the war hammer his grandfather promised to give him ‘once he’s ready.’ It was his dad’s. His birthright. He leaves a note for his grandparents before shoving a few well-loved books into his bag along with a few changes of clothes.

He’s off to find his own meaning in the world, even if his mind wanders back to his grandparents stories of ruin and conquest. The homesickness just makes him all the more ruthless in battle. All the more sure he was made for this. Made for greatness.

[hinamie]

congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/

[czlowiekz1nogawgrobie]

Okay so hear me out.

It might be because my brain is wired weird but I never quite got the "How would a melody describe itself?" quiestion. And not in the sense that it's just nonsensical and that's how it's meant to be. But because the first time I heard it I just thought, "By playing its tune, duh.''

Like, yes, it not what most people think about when they hear 'describe yourself' but it's the only way it could. It doesn't have words, frankly it's hard to say it has enough sentience to have a concept of itself, but it has it's music, it's tune, and with it, it can describe itself. It's not conventional, it's not a way of describing everyone would understand but it's the only way could do it.

And I think that's kinda the point?

Michael can't describe himself how most people would understand so they do it the only way he now knows how. Through a vague metaphor that can't be easily understood if you use your logical brain for it. Because it's not meant to be logical.

He IS a melody describing itself. He IS playing their tune. It's just hard to understand that if you think it's a riddle with a logical solution, a question to be answered and not an actual description.

Or maybe I'm just over analysing XDD

[fairmerthefarmer]

I don’t know how I never played any of the Nancy Drew games as a kid, I love point and click and I love Nancy drew and I would have been all over them!! My sister and I are playing through them together now and it is just an absolute joy. (She is however much better at puzzles than me so idk maybe they would have frustrated me as a kid)

Also it’s giving me some inspo to ~actually~ practice drawing and backgrounds etc. so anyway here’s treasure in the royal tower WIPS. I really want to do some actual illustrations from these games.

Also Evelyn/gabsmolders streams are just prime content for background comfort noise when pain flares or fatigue keep me in bed.

[arrayoflightarchives]

Kagehina yap because I can't get them out of my brain even tho I need to go to bed bc I have a full day of lectures tomorrow,,,

(be warned yall that this is a long one, which is why I've put the big explanation under the cut)

Okay so Kagehina shouldn't be getting together before Brazil Arcc. If you wanna write them before then, go ahead I love a good bit of hs kghn or long-distance kghn as much as the next person. However, for their characters at the end of HS, I feel like they need to have the Adlers v MSBY match before they should be in a relationship:

The end of 3rd year:

At the end of their third year, Kageyama is still not fully open with Hinata, let alone anyone else. I'm not saying that you have to be completely open with everyone before getting into a relationship, but I think for their dynamic, he needs to learn to be more open with his emotions than he is at that point before you can have two personalities like him and Hinata in a relationship together.

At the end of third year, Hinata is still nowhere near Kageyama's skill level in volleyball. Again, I'm not saying that they need to have equal skill levels to be in a relationship however, Hinata does have a major inferiority complex about this specifically when compared to Kageyama and I don't think that, with he skill level he is at in 2015 (when they graduate). He can't catch up with Kageyama by becoming a skilled player in his own right without going to Brazil, we know this, but going to Brazil also develops his personality as well as his vb skills. He is now more confident and has learnt a lot and so he is able to be on what he considered equal footing with Kageyama (what he considered is the important part here bc of his issues with comparing himself to Kageyama, which we see the whole way through the story).

Now flip to post Brazil:

At this point, Kageyama has begun to open up a bit more by spending time with his teammates, mostly on Adlers, but you can assume JNT as well - we just don't see much of that bc Hinata is the protag, and he's busy sulking over Kags not visiting him atp. Like we can see this in small things like him showing Ushijima the photo of Hinata and Oikawa. He is now more open than he was in hs but he hasn't talked to (at least not much more than maybe like a couple two message interactions) Hinata in a couple years as far as we know. Because of their whole soulmate thing because Kageyama is still somewhat alone because of his skill level (see Kazuyo's promise)

At this point, Hinata is finally confident in his skill level, I mean, he was practically unknown and got into the MSBY D1 starting line-up. However, I think it's important to note that atp he has not beaten Kageyama so although he has definitely improved - he's earned the title of Ninja Shoyo, which is his own compared to the little giant (I can also yap abt that honestly) - he doesn't know whether he has caught up with Kageyama who, for all he knows could have improved just as much as he did in the time they were apart. Hinata might now have many brain cells, but he knows enough that it's silly to think that Kageyama has not improved at all while playing with the JNT and being in VL D1 since high school.

Post-Adlers v MSBY match:

Kageyama has now opened up. This bit is less about opening up to those around him (although he has, see "took you long enough") and is more about him being open with his own emotions. Obviously, he's not suddenly fixed years of emotional repression in one match, but he's chosen to open himself up to Hinata (see being happy/smiling at losing a match) and therefore also open with the audience (we finally see his backstory - that idea is not mine it's from this post it's rlly good u should read it). At this point, I feel like he is ready to have a healthy relationship with Hinata while still working through his other issues. He isn't going to be magically perfect now, but still, he's at a maturity point where he would be able to be in a relationship with someone as competitive as him and Hinata are together.

Hinata has now won against Kageyama. He now knows and feels confident with his skills as a player of his own right and worth, and so now his competition with both people like Hoshiumi and then especially with Kageyama is not going to be him seeing himself as the small junior high version of him who got beaten in 30 minutes still trying to prove himself, but the amazing Ninja Shoyo who is an amazing all-rounder and a wing spiker (the position he's wanted to play in order to be ace which he didn't get a chance to play before). He has grown as a person already while in Brazil, but this win is simply confirmation that he has done what he went there to do. He can trust that he made the right choice to leave Kageyama and the trust and dynamic that they had created (which was a major worry of his through the first part of the Brazil arc - with the homesickness and seeing Kageyama in the Olympics) and is better for it. this game proves it all to him, and he can welcome Kageyama and a possible relationship with him now that they are equals, rivals and a team at the same time.

Finally, onwards:

We finally see that they are together, whether you want that to be as teammates and best friends/platonic soulmates or as romantic soulmates it's up to you, but we see that they have improved both in vb and in their relationship together (see one of my fav panels to ever exist with their fist bump in JNT uniforms).

They are on the same team together, except stronger, when they go to the Olympics together. And then when we see after that, they still have a strong dynamic with them both declaring they're going to win in the Ali Roma v ASAS São Paulo game which makes me think that they keep in contact a lot better than they did while Hinata was playing beach - only bc there seems to be less of the tension that is there when they meet before the MSBY Adlers game.

Anywaysss that pretty much concludes my yap on why they shouldn't get together until after the Brazil arc. I could probably say a billion more things about this, but this was the best way to get any sort of coherence from me about this. I will probably do more yaps so if people want, feel free to ask me questions in my ask box or in the notes!!!!

(Also I hope yall appriciate the colour coding, I chose the purple over the blue cause I felt it was more Kageyama coded, at least on my phone it is)

[ghoulisheous]

The term overshadowing in fics or in the show always strikes me as v intentional, when it comes to Danny. Like out of all the powers Danny has. That one has to be the one with the most moral ambiguity.

But Danny always seems a little too at ease about using it. We've seen him use it seriously in dangerous situations. But also more casually too. Because Danny can be very petty at times

Which just brings me back to my point. He always calls it "overshadowing" instead of what it actually is. Possession. And it just feels like an attempt at sanitizing it, for Danny (And correct me if I'm wrong. But I don't think it was ever called possession in the show. Probably to keep it as kid friendly as possible. But I think it's an idea that can be applied to Danny's characterization too)

Danny doesn't think he's a bad person. And he's not. He's 14. He works hard. He takes on so much responsibility that no one ever asked him to take on. But he's 14. And he's also grumpy, and petty, and immature. Sometimes he makes mistakes.. and sometimes he makes very intentional, very bad decisions. Because he has far more power than a 14 year old should have

But I don't think he can think of anything he does as really bad or evil in any way. And that's normal. Everyone sees their own best intentions first and foremost

So he doesn't call it possession. He's not malevolent. He's not evil. He doesn't hurt people like his enemies do. He's not blindly following an obsession that leads to hypnotizing crowds en masse, like Ember. He doesn't feed off misery, like Spectra. He's not like Vlad, or Skulker, or any of his other rouges.

So it's not possession

It's just overshadowing.

It's different.

At least when he does it

[dinomight]

maybe it’s just the middle child in me but there is something so tragic about wu erbai and his relationship with erjing. like imagine constantly being overshadowed by your younger brother, constantly dealing with the fallout of his actions. imagine watching the person you love be in love with him, while he doesn’t even bat an eye at her. (imagine watching your nephew idolize him even when you’re the one who’s there.) and then along comes this man who wants to be yours. your right hand man. the person you trust. the person you depend on. the person who protects you. and as it turns out he’s just there to get back at your brother. he’s there for sanxing, not you. who would be there for you?

[thorn-rosed]

there's something christian / catholic in all versions of my rosekiller. i dont care what earth this is, guys. you're having a deeply complicated relationship to god.

fallenangel!evan x priest!barty

Evan was supposed to deliever a message to some random priest. it was an honour to be allowed on earth as an angel, you had to be outstanding. The message read "dont trust those who dont even acknowledge the bad", and evan didnt really think about it too hard. But when events on earth were unfolding, he realized that God had been in his way the whole time. He was the one Barty wasn't supposed to trust. Luckily, Barty didn't give a fuck and from that day on, Evan wad filled by a deep hate by God. The almighty took Evan's whole life from him and tried to take away his one safety boat too. And this was supposed to be the one millions of people trust and love? No, Evan decided to never trust him again.

Meanwhile Barty never really lost his faith. Sure, over time he became bitter towards God, and the more he got to know Evan, the more he resented the almighty. Yet he still believed in the ground principles and teachings of the bible. When he hit rockbottom, Barty prayed to God because he knew no matter what, God would take him back. He didn't know how or if the entity ever listened, but he knew that if He did, He'd be there for Barty and help him. After getting close to Evan and occasionally consuming his blood, God would be able to communicate with Barty. This was the craziest turning point in his life. Now, everytime he prayed, he'd make sure god would listen and wait for answers and help. Barty knew that this relationship wasn't the way it was supposed to, he knew he should give more into it, but at the same time, there was no way he'd actually worship God. Getting advice? sure. believing his existence? Yes. But respecting it and active support? No. From week to week, Barty lost his trust more and more, and even though he'd never give it up completely, he dishonoured his extremely catholic family by breaking all the rules and not giving a fuck about morals.

vampire!barty x scientist!evan

Evan had never been religious, God was just a concept that people made up to feel better about themselves. But when he tried to summon a demon, his intention was to ask how the true god was like, so Evan could live and believe the truth. over time, his Catholicism increased steadily, despite the horrible things he did to others, he read and studied the bible, prayed and went to church / confession once a week. Because God was real, and even if Evan would go to hell for murder and torture, he'd get into the good parts of it, because trusted gods plan. He'd probably say smth like "Obviously i killed thay guy! Last night, god told me to do so, its all part of his plan!" and if someone said that was blasphemy, Evan would answer with "I'm allowed, im catholic".

Meanwhile Barty... you would say that since he's been to hell and is hyperaware of God's existence, he's catholic or at least satanic (after all he knows satan personally and can't talk to his hell-bestie on earth anymore) but no. He doesn't pray to anyone, and he won't ever start. He says he loathes God for taking his mother away from him and forcing him to be tortured all his life... At this point Evan doesn't know who Barty even is, so the whole time he's like "????". But they figure it out at some point :) Yet, it makes him genuinely angry that Evan is becoming religious because of him. Why would the love of his life pray to the one entity that hurt him so much? God and their opposite views on him are some of their only fight points. While all Barty sees in God is a fake saviour who is lying through his teeth, Evan acknowledges His flaws, yet praises him for the good things. He doesnt care about breaking the rules - he's thankful for not being in jail and he's thankful for meeting Barty.

They both arent near perfect and neither of them has a "healthy" relationship to God, but I don't think that's possible in any universe.

Summary

Both versions of Rosekiller has one person that is more religious than the other one. While fallenangel!evan x priest!barty built on religion and wouldn't be able to exist without both of them being religious, there is no technical need for scientist!evan to become religious. vampire!barty might've showed him that hell is real, but there was no "real" reason for him to convert to Christianity, read the bible and confess. He knew that no matter what he did, he wasn't ready to change his behaviour for anything or anyone and would end up in hell anyway. I think, for him God was like a parental figure that had been missing his entire life, and before vampire!barty met him, scientist!evan knew he'd get no answer and wasn't even ready to try and become religious. But now that he could get an answer through vampire!barty, who showed him spells for contact, he felt like this was everything ever missing. A neglected child finally getting attention from the parent it needed his whole life.

Personal notes

The reason for Christianity/Catholicism being the only religion represented is because it was one I grew up with and I know the most about, also due to most of my friends being Christian. I would love to see people headcanon the skittles/marauders as other religions too, I simply didnt want to give misrepresentation.

[sapphicrow]

His Better.

(A lil Lady D drabble looking at her past)

———————————

Dear Diary,

Today is the anniversary of his death. Of his complete and total departure from my world. Those who remember him perhaps view this day as a day of mourning, though I must confess I feel no such grief. A buzz of vibrant elation hums in my chest. His portrait sits in the main hall once more for today, but if not for Mother Miranda’s command for it to be in such an honorable place it would be fueling the hearth that warms my feet as I indulge in sapphic erotica, plentiful goblets of wine, maybe even a maiden or four on their knees begging for an opportunity to breathe the same air as I. He would call me a heathen and a whore. I shall call him, with phony tears in my eyes, a victim of times of political unrest. Patricide may be the more precise term, but alas, I shan’t spoil my lovely day with scandal. Mother does not wish for the truth to be spoken. I suppose it is a fair wish. I may not speak it, but I find myself needing to release this memory from my head, lest it rot in there and I begin to feel sorry for the bitch.

My father was not a good man. He was barely a man. He was a nincompoop who took advantage of his station, and his staff, and his abundant liquor collection. He was not kind. It is not for this reason I resent him, for I can hardly claim to be kind either. I resent him for his failure as a count, and his confidence in his incompetence. I remember watching his fat, clumsy fingers struggle to button his lavishly crafted waist coat with contempt. I knew from a young age that I was a far better leader than he. That my own hands, nimble and steady from years of the pointless needlework noble girls were expected to do, were suited for the control he fumbled about with so terribly. For holding the throne. I remember being fifteen years of age, watching him bumble about his office in a suit lined with silk he did not deserve the softness of. The war had threatened to touch his territory. Even then I knew that securing assets would be a vital defense for the empire he wished to construct. He did no such thing. He simply ran around like a chicken with its head severed and defiled more maids in his stress. The only measure he took was of how many drinks he could fit in his bulbous stomach. I couldn’t fathom being so irresponsible. If his land in the Carpathian Mountains was threatened, was it not clear as day that he should be worried about finding other means to protect his legacy? I recall creeping into his office in the dead of night to look over the correspondences surrounding the war and his rule and the financials that were spread carelessly about the big oak desk, my heist backed by the erratic growl of his snores. I felt as if I had forged his signature hundreds of times, even if it was my very first act of blatant treachery. It still felt so natural to use his name for my own game. It wasn’t as if he was using it for anything useful. That night he wrote a very fine letter to the duchies nearby asking for an alliance through these trying times, though the recipients would question the flair to his cursive, as well as the fact that there seemed to be a scribbled out A before his signature. I would not let this incompetent fool ruin my holdings. I would have the power that was my birthright.

For years, I would conduct similar such maneuvers. It became a performance of sorts. The key ring would leap from his belt loop to my gloved hand, landing with a graceful turn into the lock of his office. My slippered feet would dance through the slimmest crack of the door so as not to let light from the open curtains spill into the other room. My night gown would sway with me, it became synonymous with the robes of a queen in my mind. I’d Chassé from the doorway to his desk, all too eager to begin my work. The moon and I became partners in this secretive dance, for she was the subtle light I remained loyal to, granting me sight of the papers I now held under my midnight authority. And so began the unofficial, unnoticed rule of the new Dimitrescu, though the old one was oblivious to how he’d been replaced. Thankfully the old fool was a drunkard and simply believed he had managed to make all of these lucrative decisions in his intoxicated stupor.

As if.

Looking back, I cannot help but laugh heartily at how bold I was. I am much too good. But a large amount of my amusement is pointed at the pure egocentrism of the man who named himself my father. How humorous the thought of a drunk man taking the time to send out the decrees I painstakingly assembler was. There was a time when this did not entertain me, however. It was no laughing matter when my father took all the credit for my success. I had heard so much praise on the account of his wise conduct of the county. Barons and dukes and alike bowed to him, preening in his presence as if he exuded some holy power.

I grew bitter.

I was the one making these decisions! I was the one keeping him together! I had created this man’s legacy in the dead of night and neither he nor his adoring fans knew this. It infuriated me. Dear Diary, I am ashamed to admit that even now I’ve cracked the stem of my glass reminiscing upon it. For lack of a more eloquent response to this situation, it just wasn’t fair! Surely if they knew the raven haired girl with his nose and ten times his wit trailing behind him was the one truly in charge, they wouldn’t grovel to him the same way. He would be forgotten like the sorry bastard he was while everyone kissed the ground I walked upon. But they didn’t know. And so I was just his daughter. A material object he constantly strove to rid himself of. It was infuriating, I tell you, infuriating! I could only feed off of second hand acknowledgement for so long.

And so, a plot came to be. Or rather, a hastily conceived idea. I did not spend fortnights planning his death. I did not weave a technical tale of coverups and falsehoods. There was no subtlety. I was sick of hiding. You call it a risk, I called it a need. A need for his blood coating my hands as soon as possible. It was the eve of a grand event- which one it was escapes my memory for there was simply no end to the monotonous parties I was dragged along to - but all I knew was that I couldn’t stand to see him grin so smugly with the acclaim he hadn’t truly earned even one more time.

This night was not a ballet. I did not dance on light feet through the halls. I near slammed the door of my chambers as I tore through the corridors. The moon could not illumine me tonight. She would take no pleasure in seeing him torn to pieces, though I certainly would. I was near frothing at the mouth. One could paint my likeness as the lycans that now hunger in the shadows of the village.

I opened his door and closed it behind me without an ounce of gentleness. Let them hear. My nightgown billowed around me like the dark cloaks death was usually depicted wearing. The old man could not hear me over his snores. I clutched the previously ornamental dagger in my hand and snarled at the sight of his peaceful sleep. I was not going to allow him to slumber through this. In my rage I punched through the glass of his window (I dimly acknowledged it would be a good alibi for the later accusation of assassins, but mostly I just yearned for his terror) to the sound of which he shot up. He looked around frantically and saw the face of his daughter as the blade plunged into him without the courtesy of a warning. It was a wet, nasty slide of flesh around the metal of my blade. It was the sickest form of penetration. It was my finest act of political assistance to his county. I grin now at the memory of his shock. His greedy mouth parted in disbelief. He croaked my name into the night and I twisted the blade deeper. I only remember the sound from me being something between a growl and a triumphant laugh. He tried to cry out and I pulled the dagger from his side and forced it down his throat the same way I knew he had forced his foul chode down the throats of unwilling maidens. His lips curved around it and I looked down at him as his fat body flailed in agony. He deserved this, I had thought as I shoved my hand past his teeth and drug the blade along the walls of his esophagus, he deserves to die. I am greater at thirty than he ever was at fifty. I am not his daughter, I am his better. That was my mantra as I pulled horrific noises from this man. It was the most pleasurable thing I’d ever done. I had expected at least some remorse, but seeing him bloodied and dying brought me nothing but glee. I watched death tear him from his hideous form and I did not relent. I stabbed again and again until I felt calm. I had three decades of pent up anger to get out, so he was long dead before then. He looked like an oversized meatball when I was done, limp in the bed he spent most of his lazy fucking life in.

My white slip was dyed red with vengeance. This was my coronation long before I ever received the crown. I still keep that gown as a momento, though it is now far too small.

Today I contemplate that garment with all its dried blood and crusted on innards. Perhaps I have a wardrobe filled with fine dresses, but none is as fine as that one.

Can a normal dress be stained with the moment you gained independence? Can it tell the story of the rise of House Dimitrescu? Since that day we have done nothing but prosper. Even a century later I do not regret it.

Dear Diary, I am Alcina Dimitrescu. I am a cruel woman. I am power. I am not his daughter. I am forever his better.

[sunshades]

(Rattles link) cehc putting makeup on fic from childhood to being cringe adults get it while it's hot off the press 💖

[lacrimosathedark]

SOMEONE needs to get on Angel Dust & Vox content.

Not a ship, but just their whole dynamic could be so interesting.

Both Angel and Vox are connected to Valentino. Both of them, for lack of a better phrase, fuck with Valentino. But they have such different dynamics.

What they have in common (besides sex):

They're both used to Val's violent temper.

Both are unafraid to stand up to him if necessary

Differences:

Since Vox is stronger and on more even footing, he sees Val less as a threat and more as an annoyance when he acts up.

(I love that second scene Vox's face makes me laugh every time)

Vox has also learned non-violent ways to pacify Valentino where Angel...can't do that.

Angel, however, has reason to be afraid. Val owns him and can do whatever he wants to him. For the most part he's less scared and more miserable, but there is fear.

Angel's abuse has led him to inflating Val's strength in his own mind. This leads him to being protective of people who could feasibly kick Val's ass, putting himself in harms way to keep them safe from him.

Vox doesn't have anyone to protect from Val, really. The only others we know he cares about are Velvette and Alastor. Velvette is part of their team and used to this shit, and Alastor could not give less of a fuck.

Angel also has somewhat healthy relationships while Vox only has the Vees and his obsession with Alastor, which is also distinctly aggressive.

I have so many questions though.

Is Vox jealous of Angel being Val's main carnal focus? Did Angel ever envy Vox because he got to see a nicer Val more often and wasn't bound to his will? What do they think of each other? Has Val hurt Vox? I mean we know he can swap his head out for different monitors, could Val have broken his face at some point? Does Angel know?

Could Vox and Angel have any kind of connection from the abuse Val puts them through? And how would that dynamic effect their other relationships?

The closest we have to an interaction between them is this in Poison

Vox is holding Val's hand less like a handshake and more like kissing his hand. He sees Angel and stops whatever he's saying, and his smile drops. Then he gives Val an I'd almost call it a soft look, and then he zaps off.

There's also those lines on his face. Those aren't the same lines Vox has when he's worked up.

It's the other side of his face.

But also if you notice, both Val and Angel have something coming out of their mouths in this scene too. (this gif is Angel having wiped it off on his hand, you can see the droplets)

Seemingly, this is Val's saliva...ew.

I've seen people theorize Val's spit works like an aphrodisiac or has some other kind of soporific effect. I've seen people suggest it's an ingredient in Velvette's love potions.

Point being, it's a physical manifestation of the "poison" Angel is "addicted to", "choking on", and "full of".

The implication on Vox being that he's being poisoned too.

And there's just...something about this that has me thinking.

I just think they could be a fun dynamic to explore.

[fellow-fandom-fruitifier]

Ok, so, I’m gonna spill my silly little interpretation of 6EM’s and SWK’s (Too lazy to type their full names.) childhood/relationship. I know I’m probably not right, per se, but I just really want to spill my thoughts about them.

You guys knows those families with the one “troubled” kid and the one “just fine” kid? Like the “I know you’re a child but your sibling needs more attention than you because they’re worse off.” kinda thing? And the kids too young to say/understand otherwise so they just kinda… deal? THAT’S how I see SWK’s and 6EM’s childhood. (Minus the sibling part, I don’t personally view them as having a familial relationship, but it’s the best example I could think of that made sense.)

I view it as like 6EM was the (more) reasonable one. The one that was pushed off to the side and left to deal with the background problems so other people could focus on the more important “problem”. A.K.A SWK. It left him neglected and feeling used, and because of how he just took what people gave him (Again, so SWK could be the main focus.) no one took his advice seriously/they just brushed over him. But he didn’t care (That much.) because he had SWK. He had one reliable in person his life, one constant that would always be there for him not just with him. It was probably a really codependent thought process. (And SWK was really greedy so he probably didn’t notice any real stress, and was probably convinced it didn’t matter what he did. 6EM would always wait for him after all.)

Then it was just gone. Everyone has a breaking point and 6EM’s was building for literal centuries. Seeing SWK with other people was probably like hitting a horribly cracked pane of glass with a sledgehammer. SWK was one of the only, if not the only, person 6EM probably felt like actually cared. And now he’s been replaced. I imagine that 6EM felt used for a long time and the only person who didn’t make him feel like that was SWK, but seeing that? Him just chilling with new friends? Not even a thought towards his most loyal friend? I imagine it’d make him feel like a toy thrown out when a child got bored.

I don’t think 6EM or SWK were responsible for the formers death. I think they were both kids (YOU CAN NOT CONVINCE ME THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS WERE ANY OLDER THAN 25, in celestial years or whatever, YOU JUST CAN’T.) who didn’t have literally any form of guidance and grew up with each other, but with very different social expectations. 6EM was horribly codependent and SWK was horribly selfish. The difference is that SWK was given a chance to grow and learn, and 6EM just… wasn’t. I assume that they just thought the other had similar experiences and thoughts as themselves because of how closely they did everything together ‘n stuff; but that just wasn’t true. You can grow up close to someone, maybe even in the same house or town and with the same people, but that doesn’t mean your experiences were anything alike.

I think that’s were it actually started to go wrong, it’s not that they were hiding things from the other, it’s just that they thought the other already knew because they were going through the same thing; even though they actually weren’t going through the same thing.

SWK grew up strong with the idea that he was unstoppable. That he could just take anything he wants. That people would just support him no matter what, that they’d be there no matter what; but he also grew up with the expectations of a king. He grew up thinking he had to be the strongest, he had to protect his family. That lead to his greed and need to protect mixing. He went to Heaven so his family could live a secure life but also because he was power hungry.

6EM grew up as an outcast, he was not well liked and the only person who was truly his friend was SWK. His best friend who literally promised him everything he could ever want. (Read: staying on FFM together forever.) He grew up with the expectations of being someone who would always be there for the other. Someone who would do anything for the other, someone who would just take whatever was given to him. Good or bad. He had a best friend who promised, and promised, and promised. A best friend who seemed capable enough to actually keep those promises, a best friend who 6EM gave his everything to and expected the other to just keep said promises. 6EM made himself a warrior, a tool essentially, for SWK because he was content just being dragged along. So when it all fell he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t allow himself to have a different purpose.

Two very different people who both expected the other to be there but in different ways. 6EM expected SWK to always come back and SWK expected 6EM to always be waiting. They were kids who took on roles too grand for their age and were given no guidance. SWK was given the chance for guidance when 6EM was not, I highly doubt it would have been any different should the roles have been reversed. I’d bet money that SWK would have attacked 6EM’s new friends to. They were both possessive, just in different ways. 6EM wasn’t ok with the change because SWK was the only thing he thought he knew, so he lashed out. SWK had changed since their last interaction and he defended.

I don’t think SWK meant to kill 6EM, either he was too blinded by rage to stop, or the final strike was a miscalculation. Maybe there’s a completely different reason for 6EM’s death, I don’t know. That’s just my thoughts on these silly little dudes. (I know I explained more of 6EM here but that’s mainly because we don’t actually know much about his childhood. Like, sure, we mainly have 6EM’s side of the whole death story, but that doesn’t mean we actually have his backstory. We know more about SWK’s childhood and shit than 6EM’s, so I wanted to focus more on the latter. Also because he’s my favorite and I’m very biased.😌)

Conclusion: 6EM was codependent and dedicated his everything to SWK, being brushed off as the lesser version while doing so many unnoticed things for SWK; he didn’t see a purpose outside of SWK. SWK was selfish and possessive/protective, just expecting things to go his way because he was strong, expecting 6EM to just be ok with whatever he gave him no matter what; but also had a lot of expectations to be the best. SWK and 6EM’s relationship was (almost) always unhealthy, it just didn’t look like it. Two enablers with different roles, a possessive leader and his most dedicated follower.

(Additional thing I want to add here: I think that if 6EM was given the chance to properly learn/process shit before LBD yanked him from the soil, then he wouldn’t have tried to get revenge. Dude was sent to the Diyu, not therapy, of course he’s gonna come back with an even worse mindset/“coping skills”.

Edit: I forgot to add that their past dynamic made it achingly easy to view 6EM as a victim and SWK as an abuser, when they were actually both in the wrong. Guilt isn’t an easy emotion to deal with. I think that there might have been a point where 6EM knew he was just as guilty as SWK, but no one likes the thought of turning out like their abuser. I think it was just too much so he kinda just forcefully blocked it out, ultimately stopping himself from healing properly and letting his spite for SWK fester.

Edit 2: … I can’t stop talking about them. My brain is filled with these gay ass monkeys and I keep realizing more. Where 6EM can’t stand guilt so he passes on blame, SWK just ignores it or denies it. They both can’t take guilt but in different ways. Head in hands, flailing and wailing, ugly sobbing. THEY’RE SO SIMILAR IN SUCH DIFFERENT WAYS AND I’M JUST AHAHAHWHGSJSNJXBSKMSKS

Edit 3: OK ISTG THIS IS THE LAST ONE, I PROMISE I WILL EXERCISE SOME SELF CONTROL AFTER THIS! SWK got self esteem issues from having too high standards from others but too low standards for himself. While 6EM got self esteem issues from having too low standards from others and too high standards from himself. I don’t know if that makes sense but I am fighting my ADHD rat brain to leave it at that.

Edit 4: I lied, I don’t have self control. 6EM likes being on the stage because he was neglected as a child [Craves attention he wasn’t properly given.] and SWK has stage fright because he had too many expectations as a child. [Fears attention that he was given too liberally.])

[mr-snailman]

hmmm writing this down here so I don’t forget I guess

seeing stars and say yes were originally supposed to be one fic spanning seven years and obviously that didn’t happen because it turns out seven years is a long fucking time

but there’s one deleted scene from the time between that’s near and dear to my heart in which Chuckie was gonna be working on some trade school related homework to do with geometry (cause if you’re gonna build houses you do have to understand spatial relationships) and maybe it’s taking a while

and Will sits down beside him and looks over his shoulder and starts pointing out the answers— and this becomes their first real argument that we see. obviously it’s ripping off the organic chem scene with Skylar in the movie because I think it’s something we see over and over from Will, that it’s SO easy for him and he just doesn’t get how other people have to work so much harder at it— and he really does think he’s helping, is the thing

because for him it’s just oh let me do this in fifteen seconds so it’s done and we can spend some time together— almost like “oh don’t worry about it I’ll do the dishes” XD— because for him homework was only ever busywork

but for Chuckie, this is something he has to do himself, because he’s gotta learn this stuff, and it kinda feels like— what, you don’t think I can learn this? you think I’m too stupid to figure this out on my own? because I think for a long long time he’s been struggling with the idea that he’s not good enough for Will in the same way that little league and patriots games and Southie itself aren’t good enough, and that’s part of what lead to the California thing in the first place

and obviously he knows it’s all bullshit— because Will came back, because Will chose him, because he knows Will loves him and would never think he’s stupid just because he’s no Ramanujan, he KNOWS all this— but still. those insecurities are still there, and it stings

BUT they’re two grown ass people who love each other very much so they talk it out like adults instead of flying off the handle, and Will backs off a little so Chuckie can finish, and Chuckie gives him stuff to check and asks him for an explanation, NOT the answer, to a difficult problem, and when it’s all done Will finally gets Chuckie’s undivided attention XD

[hauntingblue]

Castlevania is interesting but tell my why we get three episodes of internal conflict in the dracula castle (good) while the main characters are on a library and do fuck all. Well they have three scenes of relationship building that are supposed to mean something when they come out but they are so little and superficial imo

[anthromimicry]

just thinking about how many 'lives' misao lived throughout the years and as a result, how many people could potentially be wondering what happened to her, because she affected their own lives in one way or another. like in one of these previous lives, she worked as a orchardist for this wealthy family whom would open up their apple orchard in late august to the public and close it in november. so as you can imagine, misao had to uhh. Kill a lot of people within a short amount of time.

and because this wealthy family provided her with housing + a paycheck in exchange for taking care of the orchard year-round, she would literally 'stock up' on what she needed for months ahead within it as horrible as that sounds. and everything was okay for a while, as the family mostly kept their distance from the orchard since they trusted misao to take care of it. BUT they made an unexpected visit one day and discovered all of the terrible things misao stored in her fridge. + yeah... that marked the end of her time as a orchardist with this family.

but the thing is that she had this repeated customer during the time the apple orchard was open to the public who like liked her. and he wanted to properly court her. BUT by the time he tried to do so, she had disappeared without a trace from the place. and just a few weeks later, that wealthy families bodies were found washed ashore a lake a couple of miles away.

and this begs the question whether this guy is still wondering what happened to her + whether she had anything to do with what happened to the couple. but this is only one example of how misao has unintentionally left little 'breadcrumbs' of her continued existence around the world, so there's got to be more than just that man who remembers her and that's like. DAMN... misao really has messed up a lot of people's lives AHHH and she is certainly not as sneaky as she believes she is sometimes

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

AF officially over now :') I gotta say I'm really proud of how much I accomplished!! completed a total of 16 pieces, tried out some new things, improved (I hope) a bit... aaaaa I'm already excited again for next year 😭 thanks y'all for bearing with me I just love getting to see everyone's cool character designs and doing art!!!!!