#idk if these drawings themselves are successful but at least i had a good time

[fairie-bread]

mr shelton unfortunately u have become the latest victim of my pookification beam

[dejwritesarchived]

( &. MUSE ) — a mini series.

characters: nanami kento

pairings: nanami kento & (black coded) reader, ??? x (black coded) reader

tropes: au, artist!nanami, college au, luxury, best friends to lovers,

warning: profanity, smut, alcohol usage, nudity mentioned,

in which he's the engaged artist with a muse who's not his fiance.

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: this series really my child right here. anyway, this series jumps from present time (successful artist!nanami & successful reader) & past time (college!nanami & college!reader). reader is implied to be black. hope you guys enjoy it. when i say this is a mini series i honestly think once i post all the chapters i do have written..idk when i'll even update lol.

THE TASTE OF EXPENSIVE CHAMPAGNE slid down your throat as you walked around the huge and well-decorated gala. The soft music was supposed to help people gravitate towards the art pieces that were created by your close friend Nanami was playing softly in the hall. Your lip gloss stained the glass as you stared at one painting, you remembered it was one of the first paintings he created when you guys were freshmen in college. You only remembered it due to the fact that Gojo kicked water on it by accident messing it up and Nanami had to turn it in as it and actually got a good grade on it.

You felt someone grab your shoulder turning you around and you saw your friend Shoko, your face lit up seeing her. You haven't seen her in person in so long due to how busy you both were. With her becoming a doctor and you becoming a fashion designer, it was quite hard to sit down for coffee despite living in the same city. You opened your mouth to greet her, but she simply grabbed a hold of your wrist and dragged you through one crowd. They were crowded around one specific painting, which could hear the compliments as you were pushing your way through the crowd. You also could hear two familiar voices loud as ever making jokes.

"Oh my god! I can't believe he displayed this. With his damn fiance being here."

"He's definitely not getting sex for a week straight, poor Nanami."

"Y/N is going to freak out when she sees he displayed this."

When you finally reached the front of the crowd, you were now standing next to your other long-time college friends Mei Mei and Utahime. Utahime had let out a stressed-out sigh as she grabbed another glass of champagne from a passing waiter. Mei Mei was trying so hard not to let out her laughter at the situation and the two who were making jokes Geto and Gojo. As you looked at the painting, your eyes grew big staring at it. You nearly dropped your glass of champagne on the floor seeing the reflection of yourself in the painting.

It was you. You were the painting. You didn't even think Nanami finished the drawing considering he did it out of boredom after you two had sex like a month ago. But to your friends, they probably assumed he did this painting when you two were in college. Considering that you and Nanami were quite close back then.

When the two jokesters themselves saw you, they would walk up to you with a smirk. You simply rolled your eyes. "We didn't even think you were coming, you said you weren't coming actually," Gojo explained.

"My schedule cleared up quite quickly and I wanted to surprise you guys...surprise!" You sarcastically said, your eyes still burned into the painting.

"Well, to make you feel better..at least he painted a cute picture of you," Mei Mei nudged your shoulder with a small smile.

"She's naked." Geto pointed out. "I don't even want to ask how he even got that type of picture. I knew you and Kento were close but didn't think you were like his muse." He took a sip of his alcohol.

"Okay, she's naked. You guys acting like you haven't seen a pair of tits before, she's practically imitating the same pose Rose did in Titanic." Utahime found herself explaining.

"And we should just pray no one notices it's you, but us. Just don't stand directly next to the painting." Gojo put his hand on your shoulders giving you that advice as if that helped the situation.

"I hope you know how to fight to cause if his fiancé sees this-" You cut Geto's words off.

"Fiancé?" You questioned, you felt your eye twitch hearing that word.

You didn't know he had a fiance. He didn't mention a fiancé a month ago.

"Yeah, he's engaged now. He's been engaged for about five months now," Shoko tucked her hair out her face. She was confused about why you didn't know. After all, as Geto mentioned earlier, you and Nanami were close when you guys were in college. She would have thought that you would be the first to know.

You felt like you were about to have a freaking panic attack. Your chest felt like it was caving in and it was getting harder to breathe. You opened your mouth to excuse yourself, but someone on the main stage interrupted your escape.

"Ladies and Gentlemen please take your seats as dinner will be served before the art auction."

You felt Gojo tug at your hand, "Let's go, Nanami sat us at a table together."

You let Gojo guide you to the table that was meant for you guys. Which was front and center, you assumed he had to make sure his friends get the best table right after his family and his fiancé's family. You still felt sick to your stomach even thinking that he had a fiancé. As you sat at the table, you were lost in your own thoughts as your friends caught up on life around you. You felt someone nudge you, since you were sandwiched between Gojo and Geto you just knew it was either one of them.

"You okay?" Geto leaned over whispering in your ear.

You would simply nod, "Yes, I just need to make sure no one buys that damn painting." You said motioning to the painting with you on it. You didn't need some creep having a painting of you in their house, you would prefer it be in the comfort of your own home since obviously, it wasn't in Nanami's.

Gojo would lean forward, "I'm going to buy it." He said.

"I'm not playing with you, you white-haired asshole," You said through gritted teeth.

Gojo simply mocked you playfully. He still hasn't changed since college.

Shoko would shake her head, it felt just like when they were in college all over again. They just were missing Nanami.

Mei Mei who was known for mingling with the top businessmen in the city would lean back in her seat. The woman oozed sex appeal and could cause anyone to just hand over their credit cards, so the rich atmosphere around her turned her on quite a bit. She knew that it was going to be challenging trying to outbid the number of rich men in this room.

"Listen, you're going have to worry about the other rich men in here. Gojo isn't the only competition, even though I think he wants the damn painting to spite you," Mei Mei said.

"Why can't you just ask Nanami to take it down, after all, it is you," Gojo suggested.

"I don't think it works like that, obviously multiple people had to show interest in that painting for him to choose it to auction it off. My opinion is that I don't even think Nanami knows it's up for auction. Unless Nanami changed completely since college, I highly doubt he'll sell off such a personal piece." Utahime explained as she took a sip of her water.

It was personal, for sure.

"What? You don't think the fiancé already knew about the painting and just selling away the trash, no offense [Y/N]," Geto said holding his hands up in defense.

You would simply shake your head at that statement. Your teeth chewing at your bottom lip thinking about the outcome of that. Maybe his fiancé knew about you and Nanami having sex and was using this to humiliate you or something.

"That could be true," Shoko said.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Mei Mei questioned.

"We're making sure [Y/N] get that damn painting," Gojo affirmed.

"You guys don't have to do this, this is my mess. Practically between Nanami and I," You said rubbing at your temple.

"Nope, we're helping you get that painting [Y/N]. Now stop being stubborn." Shoko responded causing your lips to form an 'o' shape and you would just accept defeat.

"Wow, it feels like old times again," Geto said as he had a smile on his face.

"You're so corny," Utahime said letting out a laugh.

"You guys love it though," Geto said.

AS THE NIGHT WENT ON, THE GROUP OF FRIENDS BUTTERING IT UP WITH the rich elite crowd trying to get them to not bid at all on the painting of you, you did feel like you were in college again. You guys always found yourself in a situation where everyone pitched in to help. When Shoko had a pregnancy scare, you all sat in the waiting room waiting for her pregnancy test results. When Geto got arrested, you guys got him out with a quickness. Which consisted of you flashing a cop your boobs. You guys egged a guy car who broke Utahime's heart. It was a countless amount of memories you guys had and you just were happy to have them help you out with this situation.

You excused yourself to go fix your makeup for a minute, just as you were leaving the bathroom you were nearly knocked over by a large figure. As you stumbled back in your Tom Ford high heels, you felt the person grab a hold of you from falling back. Expecting to fall right on your ass, but the person caught you. When you glanced up to thank the person, your eyes met with his brown ones. You remembered those eyes like they were yesterday. You yanked your arm away, your hand reaching up and slapping him harshly on the face. The sound echoed the halls and you honestly felt so much better doing that. Even though the sharp pain stung the inside of your palm.

It took 28-year-old Nanami Kento by shock when your hand slapped him across the face. His face turning red from the sudden impact by you and he didn't know rather to be confused or shocked at what just happened. Afraid that the press would see the exchange that was about to happen, he grabbed a hold of your forearm leading you back into the women's bathroom. He quickly checked each stall to make sure it was empty and he sooner went to lock the door.

Your arms folded across your chest as you practically glared at him. You wanted to give him another slap across the face because of this whole situation. The fact that it was a naked portrait of you about to be auctioned off and you just found out tonight and the fact that he was engaged just built some type of rage inside of you.

"Listen [Y/N], I can explain," Nanami said as he took a step forward, which you took one back.

You didn't even want him to touch you at this moment. "What is there to talk about Nanami? The fact that my naked portrait is about to be sold to some rich white man or the fact that we slept together a month ago or maybe, the most interesting talking point...the fact that you're fucking engaged," You angrily yelled.

"Keep your voice down, I don't need anyone hearing this," Nanami responded. He grabbed at his tie loosening it up. "Just let me explain, please."

You looked at him up and down, taking in his attire for tonight. If you weren't so upset at him, you would have complimented how good he looked. The nicely tailored black and white suit fit his tall figure well. With his signature, blonde hair gelled back and an expensive Rolex watch to add to it.

"Explain how a portrait like that got up there or the fact that you've been engaged for five months." You said through gritted teeth, trying to keep your voice down. "If my math is correct, we slept together a month ago Nanami. You were engaged."

Nanami knew that. You didn't have to keep reminding him of his mistake. Which he didn't even know if that mistake was actually a mistake. He couldn't help it that after he graduated from college and everyone went their separate ways, you stayed sitting in his mind. When he started a new drawing, he saw you. When he started a new clay sculpture, he saw you. When he started a painting piece, he saw you. He didn't know how to explain it.

"Listen, I'm sorry. My fiancé and I got into that night and when I saw you were in town, I just couldn't stop thinking about us when we were in college." Nanami explained, he took another step but this time you found yourself stuck.

It wasn't a secret that Nanami and you were extremely close in college. Even though you didn't even put a label on what you were in college, you guys were closed. Late-night runs to get snacks when you were up studying. Drunken quickies in the bathroom of a nightclub you and your friends went to. It was quite adventurous. But, you guys weren't young like that anymore. You were all established in your careers and had a reputation to keep. Especially him, considering he was one of the richest artists out at the moment and engaged.

You looked at him as he took your hands, his thumb rubbing against your knuckles to calm you down. "I'm sorry [Y/N], I'll remove the painting and give it to you if that makes you feel better. I'm not even sure how it even got on the auction list in the first place," Nanami said.

He was sure it was his fiancé that did it. The woman could be cruel at times. She knew how to hit below the belt.

You felt a bit calm now, but the fact that he was engaged still didn't sit right with you. Him comforting you as close as this wasn't good, he knew just how weak you could get for him. You tugged your hand out of his grasp, "Could you just get the painting sent to my penthouse?" You took a step back, checked yourself in the mirror, and saw that your makeup and dress were okay. You walked by Nanami unlocking the door, you turned to look at him.

"I think it's best if we cut ties with each other," You simply said before exiting the bathroom.

To your shock, you saw your friends standing near the door waiting. You felt like crying, but you refused to cry over this situation. "It's all handled, he's going to send the painting to my place." You huffed as you took a step forward.

Gojo opened his mouth to speak, but the door opened again and Nanami stepped out also.

"I didn't know about the portrait, it's getting taken down right now as I speak," Nanami said.

Shoko looked at him and then at you, "Mhmm, okay. Well, we're going back to enjoying your free food and alcohol." she linked arms with you and walked away.

"You guys could at least buy one of my pieces," Nanami rolled his eyes following behind his group of friends.

"Now why would we do that after your fiancé was about to auction off a piece with [Y/N] in it?" Utahime questioned.

"Plus, we all already have a piece of your art in our place and since you don't take commissions, I'm good on buying anymore art," Gojo responded.

That was true. His first customer ever was this group of people in front of him. Which he knew that [Y/N] had brought the most out of everyone, that's why he appreciated you the most. But with the cold shoulder, you were giving him, he doubts your friendship would even be the same.

You watched as a group of workers took down the painting of you and you felt a huge weight get taken off your shoulder.

"Babbbbe, did someone already buy that painting?"

You all heard, the group of friends turned around and saw a woman with brunette colored hair and light blue eyes. You eyed her up and down taking in each and every one of her features. You couldn't hate, the woman was gorgeous. She had on a custom Versace dress with matching high heels, her brunette hair was in some loose curls that traveled down her back nicely. Other than the custom Versace dress that caught your eyes, the diamond ring on her wedding finger nearly caused steam to blow out of your ears.

Shoko notices how you tensed up, she only gave your hand a squeeze hoping you would calm down.

"Yes, somebody brought it already," Nanami responded feeling his fiancé Serena grab a hold of his arm.

"Who?" She questioned.

"It doesn't matter right now, just know somebody brought it," Nanami responded wanting to move on from the conversation. He tried to make eye contact with you, but it seemed like you were avoiding it.

"Good, that was one of my least favorite pieces anyway." Serena boasted as she finished off her drink and placed it on the table next to where she stood.

Utahime head cocked to the side, she glanced at her group of friends wondering if they heard what she just heard. Geto looked at her shaking his head, "Not here." He mouthed to her.

"Oh my god, are these your friends from college?" Serena asked Nanami.

"Yes," Nanami said as he watched his college friends force a smile on their faces. "This is Gojo, Geto, Mei Mei, Utahime, [Y/N], and Shoko." He pointed to each one.

Serena would simply shake her head, trying to mentally remember everyone's names as if she cared. Then her eyes fell on you, she knew exactly who you were. The one in the painting. The one in all of Nanami's work that had a person in it. It caused her blood to boil, but she could never tell Nanami that. Her hand went up to caress Nanami's chest, purposely showing off the diamond ring on her perfectly manicured finger.

You took notice of what was going on. You looked at Serena if only she knew. If only she knew that a month ago he had you bent over your damn vanity. But, you guess that didn't matter in the end. After all, she was the one that had the ring.

"Serena, let's go uhhh..greet our other guests," Nanami suggested causing Serena to smile.

She was happy to be whisked away from his friends. She couldn't relate to any of them and didn't care to relate to any of them. "It was nice meeting you all," She said giving each of you a fake smile before Nanami took her hand to walk away.

"Nice to meet you too Sarah," Gojo said waving.

"It's Serena." She corrected.

"Okay Sabrina," Gojo responded giving her a smile before the duo disappeared into the crowd.

The group let out snickers at Gojo's behavior. You would let out a dramatic sigh, "Do we have to stay here all night? I want to go home, I got what I wanted plus some." You found yourself whining.

"Yes, we're here to support Nanami and that's what we're going to do. Even if his fiancé clearly hates us," Geto said.

The rest of them gave him a look. "Was it that obvious that she hated us?" Shoko asked.

"I mean obviously, she didn't even bother to get to know us. Then she was flaunting off her ring to taunt [Y/N]." Mei Mei said. "Then with Gojo purposely messing up her name.." Her voice trails off.

"We're going have such horrible seats at the wedding." Gojo laughed.

Everything was always a joke to this man. You didn't really understand how he was the CEO of his family company with the behavior he displayed in public and in private. But then you remembered Gojo wasn't dumb, he actually graduated with honors.

"Well, at least [Y/N] got the painting and we were able to see each other. Plus Nanami for like five minutes." Utahime said. She was trying to find the good in the situation.

You would nod in agreement. Although you decided to wipe your hands of Nanami for good, you did enjoy seeing all your other friends tonight. You forgot how it felt being around them. As a waiter brought glasses of champagne up to you guys, you all took one.

"Can we end tonight wonderfully though? Just one last time for old times." Gojo smirked as he held onto his glass.

"As long as we're not helping carry you back to your personal driver, that's cool with me." Mei Mei said.

"Or about to fight cause Geto was hooking up with someone's wife in the bathroom," You added.

"If it makes any of you guys feel better, I am on a road of celibacy. These women don't deserve what I'm packing at the moment," Geto added causing a bunch of laughs from the women of the friend group. "What? You don't believe me?"

"Can we just toast and get it over it?" Shoko asked trying to refrain from her laughing.

Geto rolled his eyes at his friends before holding his glass up.

"To me being the hottest one in the friend group!" Gojo yelled as he clinked his glass with everyone else's.

The group of adults didn't even have time to argue against what he said, they just toasted to that and guzzled down the alcohol in the glass. Attempting to make tonight a night like the ones during your college days.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hey slug, thanks for the hard work you and your team do for the fandom!! me and some friends were discussing this and i thought it would be nice to see ur answer to this (only if it doesn't bother u, of course!!): what characters do you think parents would give a big thumbs up if you introduced them as your partner (in terms of personality and traits)? I personally think Hifumi or Ichiro would be the best son-in-law...

What an entertaining question. Believe it or not, I’ve given the matter some thought before for reasons entirely unrelated to this, so presenting: Hypnosis Microphone Men and Whether or Not You Should Bring Them Home to Your Parents.

Since there’s a wide age range among the cast members, assume that the “you” in question is roughly each character’s age.

Ichirou: Absolutely. This man is objectively a dream boat. Runs his own successful business? Check. Respectful to people of all ages? Check. Cooks? Check. Cleans? Check. Good with kids? Check. Take Ichirou and marry him before your parents marry him themselves.

Jirou: As far as high school boyfriends go, Jirou’s not a bad choice. He’s a sweetheart, popular, plays music. Doesn’t do drugs in the school bathroom. Could have better grades, but hey, you can’t win them all. He seems like he’d have you home by 8 pm. You know what? Sure. Why not? You could do worse.

Saburou: Saburou is the kind of middle school boyfriend that your parents openly like and privately dislike. What I mean is that he’s very polite to most elders and super smart, so he’s the kind of kid who is entirely unobjectionable, but he’s also the kind of kid who would try to mansplain your parents’ jobs to them. Worst of all, he would be entirely correct in what he’s saying. Your parents probably want to punch him, but they don’t because assaulting children is illegal, not to mention immoral. They will breathe a collective sigh of relief when he finally breaks up with you so he can focus on studying for the Science Bowl nationals.

Samatoki: I am so torn on this one. On the one hand, he’s every parent’s worst nightmare. He smokes indoors, has an awful temper, and is a fucking gangster, for pete’s sake. Yet he can also be a sweetheart who cooks for you and does everything to treat you right. I’m really stumped. Probably the best solution, if you’re really wanting to get in on that Aohitsugi ass, is to cut out the middle man and date Nemu instead. She is perfect in every way, so your parents will love her.

Juuto: If your parents watch Antiques Roadshow, then he will have a lot to bond with them about. Otherwise I think he’d be that kind of person who tells stories about himself way too loudly at family dinners, and after he leaves, one of your parents pulls you aside to say, “Your boyfriend’s really kind of an asshole, don’t you think?” I guess date him if you’re okay with your parents thinking you have cruddy taste.

Riou: I feel like the hard part here is luring him out of the woods and into a family dinner, but from there, it should go great. He’s over 6 feet tall. He can cook well. He has a strong sense of purpose and knows what he wants to do in life. Most importantly, he has a wonderful heart AND every survival skill known to man. He will change the oil in your parents’ car, fix the leaky pipe you’ve been meaning to get around to for six months now, clean the hood above the stove, and then swap recipes and heartfelt compliments with whichever parent does the cooking. Who cares if he doesn’t have a stable income? You don’t need that with guns like those. (insert flexing Riou image here)

Ramuda: I’m trying to think about the concept of a) dating Ramuda and b) introducing him to a set of parents, and I’m drawing an utter blank. There is nothing but “???” in my mind. I’m going to hazard a guess that this one would be a terrible idea.

Gentarou: Wow, your parents had no idea you were dating a prince of a tiny little kingdom in the Mediterranean AND a Harvard law graduate AND the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize AND the man who discovered a cure for cancer in an expedition deep into the heart of the Amazon rain forest. Look at you! What a catch. Only attempt this if your parents are gullible.

Dice: As much as I love Dice to death, this one is a no. Your parents do not want you dating a homeless man with a gambling addiction and bad table manners. Plus, the MIL here seems hard to get along with. Nuh-uh.

Jakurai: Absolutely. You’re in your 30s, so your parents are at least middle-aged. Probably they have some joint problems or some back pain. Jakurai can let them kiss that pain goodbye, and in return, they can let him kiss you! A win-win. He also boasts a handsome salary, has a lovely house, and seems like he’d be super respectful in a relationship. Yes. Go. Marry him.

Hifumi: If you’re a girl, you’re probably going to have to sit this round out. If you’re a guy or nonbinary... yeah, you’re probably going to have to sit this round out too. See, if you have a mom, how is Hifumi supposed to meet her? I guess you could... idk... stick a lampshade on her head and expect him not to notice. That could potentially work, but it’d raise a few awkward questions. If you do happen to live in a female-free household, though, you’ve hit upon the golden opportunity to make this man yours. You can replace every instance of the word “wife” in Judy Brady Syfer’s famous essay “I Want a Wife” with the word “Hifumi” and still have it make perfect sense, and it shows.

Doppo: I can’t in good conscience recommend this one. Sure, he’s hardworking and certainly polite enough, but does he have the time to respond to your emotional needs? Hell, does he have the time to respond to his own? If you invited him to family dinner, there’s a good chance that he’d need to work overtime and miss it. He’d apologize and buy you flowers to make up for it, but you know he’d also be worrying about the cost of those flowers, so... is it really worth it?

Kuukou: For some reason, my parents actually like Kuukou (although I think he’s also the only character they know besides Ichijiku), but I don’t think this would hold true for most parents. He sounds good on paper, but he’d probably make a disparaging comment about someone’s ass in the first five minutes. Perhaps if you tape his mouth shut and tell your parents he’s doing a vow of silence, then yes.

Juushi: As far as high school (is he still in high school?) boyfriends go, Juushi’s not that bad either. He’s shy but sweet. Respectful. In a band, but the kind that makes money and doesn’t operate out of someone’s garage. Yeah, you know what? Go for it. You could do worse. Just scroll up on this list if you need proof of that.

Hitoya: Yeah, absolutely. Hitoya has a great career and a fantastic attitude. He doesn’t take shit from anyone but can still be polite in the correct contexts. He also seems like the type who would get into a serious relationship and treat his partner right. Fuck it up. I support your love.

Sasara: Yes. He has the exact type of humor favored by parents of the father variety. Plus, he’s a famous comedian. There is good money to be had right there.

Roshou: Absolutely. Rather shy but very talented, hardworking teacher who obviously puts his heart and soul into his job? Of course. As long as he doesn’t death glare your parents, it will work out fantastically. Plus, he can talk about sports! That’s a thing that parents like, right?

Rei: Absolutely not. You remember last May when your parents answered a call from the IRS telling them they were about to lose all their money unless they gave the nice man on the phone their bank account password right at that very instant? He was the nice man on the phone. Why the hell would you bring this threat into your parents’ home? Look, you’re in your mid-40s. Your parents are getting up in years, and they want to see you settle down and be happy with someone. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is not it. Why are you with Rei in the first place? Is it the fur coat? Listen, you are a grown-ass adult, and you can buy yourself as many fur coats as you want. I believe in you. It doesn’t have to be this way - you deserve better.

[ganondoodle]

demise backstory (summary)

I didnt actually plan on wrtiting a summary of demises backstory (that i came up with, idk if its any good) but im realizing how long it will take me to draw it all, especially with job related things getting in the way all the time, so i guess im gonna post a badly summarised version of it right here right now, some things might change but thats always the case with my writing, nothings set in stone.

(please be aware that im not the best writer and didnt put much effort into this, it got longer than i thought but well meh :V ignore the typos, i wrote this at 1 am ;O; )

I didnt proof read anything, so this is a mess, anyway here goes nothin:

As far as i know, there have been multiple cases of hyrule having some sort of alternate mirror version of itself or just an alternate world somehow somewhere, so my personal idea about this is that demise WAS what hylia is for hyrule, a deity of protection. thats also where the whole inverted triforce symbols come from in my design for him, im not saying its lorule, but its definitely inspired by it to some degree. so they also had a triforce (here simply called "relics"), but it was split into the three pieces, for each of the three main nations/countries one, originally it was split like this as a way of sharing it equally AND to keep it safe, since if someone was to want the whole thing, theyd have to fight three different giant nations for it, which was thought as being pretty impossible.

as i said before, demise (might not have always been his name idk) was their deity of protection, he was there to keep the peace, to prevent the three countries from going after the relics themselves, tho he was always a cocky bastard he wasnt as destructive and hateful as he is now, back then he was still the servant of their gods after all. for a long long time he was successful at keeping everything as it was supposed to be, but of course, it cant go well forever, i dont have all the details yet but basically, those three nations started war after war, he was able to keep it from escalating for quite some time  but at some point, the people found out that if they destroyed his statues (just like hylias in canon) to prevent anyone from praying to him, he wouldnt know, at least, not immediately (my idea was that the statues are a sort of communication link to whatever their god was, so in ancient hyrule, if you prayed to one of hylias statues, and asked for her protection/help, she would know instantly and show up within seconds) 

alot of battles were fought without demise hearing anything about it, until someone found a statue that wasnt fully destroyed. when demise showed up however, the person had already died as they were wounded when fleeing from the battlefield. wondering how this all came to be he went to look for where that person came from, since if there was actual big trouble he should have known about it much sooner.  

he must have missed the biggest battle his world had ever seen, given the sheer size of it .. and the amount of corpses scattered all over it.

this only happened because of the greed of the people in power for the rest of the relics, which promised power, more power than they already had, plus who wouldnt want to know what happen if the relics were combined again, given how they've been seperated since the beginning. 

Fueled by anger and grief over how many people had lost their lives without him even KNOWING that a war of this size was happening, demise tried to ask the gods as to what he was supposed to do, how could he stop these needlessly cruel wars over something so small ? but the gods were silent. 

so he had to decide on his own, what was the best thing to do ? after careful consideration he couldnt think of anything else but to destroy the relics, after all, he could touch or use them himself as means to prevent him, as an already powerful deity, from falling for that greed for power, just like the inhabitants of his world did now.

the first one was the easiest, they didnt know his plan and let him wander their sacred halls with no second thought .. until he raised his sword once he stood in front of that cursed relic that led only to bloodshed and death. of course the news started to spread that their protector had apparently turned against them, some thought it was because they destroyed his statues, others because they thought he feared they would be more powerful than him once they gathered all the relics. on his way to destroy the second one he was met with resistance, but nothing he couldnt get through. the third one was a fight of an army against one deity. demise won, but not without killing some of the people he swore to protect .. and the only reason he was doing this, was for their own good.

after the deed was done, instead of everything getting better, it was getting worse. the people were more united than ever. against him that is. and the world fell apart. the oceans started to shrink, the winds would blow more harshly with each passing day, plants would wither away as if robbed of life before it began. demise was never overly beloved by anyone even back in the beginnings, but he could deal with them hating and resenting him, as long as they wouldnt go to war against each other, he was happy, more or less. what he couldnt handle was watching as his world started to die a slow and agozing death, right before his eyes, without him being able to do anything against it. and the gods stayed silent.

was it because he destroyed the relics ? were the gods mad at him for going against their orders and deemed it appropriate to punish him by having to watch the people suffer ?or was it that the gods that were bored of playing with this world and moved on to the next ?

he would never know the answer. 

the world died slowly over hundreds of years of painful suffering, desperately trying to to stay alive. even then the last remaining survivors knew him only as the destroyer of their world, responsible for their suffering. his former self wiped from memory, and only hate remained. 

after the last mortal died, the last tree withered and the oceans were gone. there was nothing left to guard, nothing left but the ruins of the past and the painful reminder of how this all came to be. the question of why it had to happen, was never answered, as the gods abandoned him and his world a long time ago.

in a fit of rage he sought to destroy the last temples, the once sacred places which inscriptions have long faded away and the place he once called his home, where he used to speak to his gods before they fell into this agonizing silence and as he drove his sword through the sculpted stones which once housed their voices, it split into two . ..

..and through the cracks blew a wind carrying the scent of a world that was still alive.

[ultraclops]

Day 3: Be True To Yourself

Aka me literally just infodumping about my Ocs because I love them ♡

Brought to you by Colorvision! Yep, I decided to get off my lazy butt and color traditionally today :)

First off, Tiara Depurrnaire (She/Her)! A Sweetypie cat who's partially related to the Snugglemagne family and, in my timeskip AU, Adorabat's future girlfriend. Like Adorabat, she lost her leg to a monster while wandering the King's dungeons. She aspires to be just as brave as Adorabat but lacks the gall, being content to watch and learn from the sidelines. As they both get older Tiara realizes that she is a lesbian, and develops a mutual crush on Adorabat that turns into a relationship. As she ages, Tiara' aspirations to become a hero fade, and she settles for becoming a ballet teacher. She learns to be brave in her own way and unconditionally supports her monster-slaying adventuring partner, no matter how their paths diverge.

T H E Y (Also I need to post my full adult Adorabat design sometime)

Next up is Sherbet (They/Them), a Sweetypie rabbit who makes ice cream for a living! I don't really have a backstory for them but I believe they realized they were nonbinary in their younger years (around early middle school age) and have fully embraced their identity! They don't let anything get them down and are eager to cheer up the citizens of Pure Heart Valley, one ice cream cone at a time. They're also good acquaintances with Badgerclops and Adorabat, for obvious reasons. Their eyes function similarly to Badgerclops', as they only open when they feel strong emotions.

Next (and honestly one of my favorites) is Moa Nola (Xe/Xem), an agender Oriental Shorthair cat who, surprisingly, isn't related to the Mao clan. Xe originally started off as a joke character based on the misspelling of Mao Mao's name in "I'm Mao Mao", but I eventually grew attached to xem and gave xem a full-fledged backstory. Xe comes from a family of fishermen, but after xyr father was killed in a monster attack, xe decided that xe wanted to become a legendary monster hunter. Xe created xyr cloak after xyr first successful monster fight. After being mistaken for the son of Shin Mao too many times, xe used it to xyr advantage and began going under Mao Mao's title for a while. However, after being stopped by Mao Mao himself, xe dropped the act and began looking for a new sense of purpose. Ironically, xe starts collecting antique ventriloquist dummies similar to Mr. Din Danalin.

Following up on the "based on a misspelling" theme is Rhapsody (She/They), a femme-aligned nonbinary Sweetypie vampire bat inspired by Adorabat's name being mistranslated as "doorbat" in YouTube autocaptions. She is Adorabat maternal cousin, as their mother is Sonara's sister. Rhapsody was heavily impacted by Sonara's death, but rather than becoming tough like Adorabat or overprotective like Eugene, she became more reserved out of fear that they could be next. In other words, she became a doorbat (haha funny). With the arrival of Mao Mao and Badgerclops, plus the defeat of the monster that killed their aunt, Rhapsody begins to come out of her shell and indulges in their biggest passion - music. Like Adorabat she learns to use their voice as a weapon, but hers is more of a siren's song than a sonic screech. In my timeskip AU, they leave Pure Heart Valley to become a popstar, writing songs inspired by her childhood memories and their home. It's obscured by the flag but the marking on her chest is a bleeding heart, emphasizing her passionate drive.

(Rhapsody's kid and adult forms [kinda old])

+ OCs of mine I didn't feel like making alternate drawings for:

Buzz-Buzz (Zhe/Ze/Zhey), a demigender Sweetypie bumblebee bat who protects the bees of Pure Heart Valley! Despite zer small stature, zhe is actually an adult, just naturally small. Zhe also grows herbs on the side and volunteers at the Pure Heart Valley hospital. Primarily because zhe has a crush on the head doctor there... (I did not make zer to selfship with Cuddlestein. Nope. Not at all.)

My Badgermao "fankid", Sai (They/He/It)! I say "fankid" in air quotes because they're from an AU where Badgerclops' spare arm became corrupt and gained a conscience. Their robot arm is actually their body - the rest of their body is a projection of light, similar to the gems from Steven Universe! They have masculine programming (as their AI was made using Badgerclops's DNA a la Cortana from Halo), but identify as agender and use they/he/it pronouns. Originally they began as a blank slate with no personality aside from the programmed personality Badgerclops gave them, but they eventually grow their own personality and moral compass as they analyze the Sheriff's Department's work. Just like Badgerclops, they have a passion for building robots and weapons, and can even modify themselves to fit the situation! Most of their creations are usually for fun, though.

Anf the last one I have a reference for but not the least, Karma Vesper (She/They)! This one is actually my self-insert, lol. She is a biro-ace demigirl Javanese Cream-Point Cat! Her necklace was a gift from her family, and her hood was a gift from her mentor. After her village was ambushed by criminals, she became a wandering hero, and accidentally stumbled upon Pure Heart Valley while following a report of increased monster activity. At some point during her adventures alone she realized that she was biro-ace, since she felt no sexual attraction but still felt romantic attraction. Around the time she came to Pure Heart Valley she realized that she never really felt, like, 100% a GIRL girl (if that makes sense) and began identifying as a demigirl. (Yes this is my hidden self-actualization story :>) She enjoys researching gemstones and ancient artifacts, and the Ruby Pure Heart immediately caught her attention once she laid eyes on it. While she is still a wandering hero, she has a temporary residence in Pure Heart Valley, where she stays to research the Heart's powers as well as assist the townspeople. Her and the Sheriff's Department didn't start out on the best terms since Mao was worried she was trying to replace them, but they tolerate each other now.

+ the OCs I don't have references for:

I did have a reference for these guys but idk where it is rn ;-;. Anywway, my most recent OCs and also some of my favorite OCs are Bernard and Pierre, a black bear and polar bear respectively (both use He/Him)! They are both gay and in a healthy relationship & live in a cabin in the forest together. They are just. Two old gay granddads and I love them. Anyway! They both met after an accident which caused Bernard to blow out his left knee and Pierre to lose his left hand; they had been best friends since, and boyfriends later on! Bernard is a baker while Pierre is a wood carver, although they indulge in each other's interests as well. For the most part they just stay in their cabin in the forest, but they leave to buy groceries and sell their products.

And the final OC I'm gonna talk about is Storm Mao (They/Them)! They're from an AU where Mao was born in a litter of five, like his sisters. Ever since Storm were young, they felt like weren't "normal" compared to their siblings. They didn't feel like a girl or a boy. After Mao came out as a trans boy, they began questioning themselves further. Eventually they decided to ask Contacts Sister for help, as she was among the smartest of the Mao children. Contacts explained to Storm that there are people who don't identify as a boy or a girl, and Storm realized they weren't alone. Since then, they started identifying as nonbinary and began using they/them pronouns, and their family supported their decision. Aside from them and Mao, their litter siblings are also LGBTQ+ - Mamoru (He/Him) is AroAce, Bernadette (She/Her) is bi and Zhijun (He/Him) is gay. I'd talk about the AU more in a separate post, if anyone wants me too^ ^;;

If I remember any other LGBTQ+ OCs I have, I'll reblog with them ✌

[gins-potter]

Can you do Ginny Weasley for the ask game?

i certainly can lovely x

why i like them

i loooooove my girl ginny because she's a fucking badass, she grows so much over the course of the books, and she just really comes into her own as someone who isn't afraid to speak her mind and knows her own worth, and i love that for her.

why i don’t

the one thing that kind of bugs me about ginny is she can kind of put ron down sometimes, which isn't always unjustified since a lot of the time it emerges out of arguments between them, but i think she can sometimes zero in on his insecurities and target them because he's said something shitty about her. like i'm specifically thinking about that scene in hbp where he slut shames her (which was so not cool) so i'm kind of torn between, she's justified in having a go back at him and damn i wish she wouldn't do that because i'm also a proud member of the ron weasley defense squad.

favorite episode/scene

i think one of my favourite ginny scenes has to be in ootp when harry's worried about being possessed by voldemort and she comes out with that line "Well, that was a bit stupid of you, seeing as you don't know anyone but me who's been possessed by You-Know-Who." because she was kind of a quiet character through the first few books but this is where she really stands up and makes people take notice of her. but then she follows it up by talking about her experience being possessed which couldn't have been easy but she knows harry needs to hear it to understand better what's happening to him, so i think it shows a lot of bravery on her part as well.

but i also really love at the end of bhp when harry tells her they have to break up and she just knows, and doesn't really put up a fight about it because she knows it's something he has to do. and maybe that's a little out of character for her, but i see it more as a sign of how much she's matured because as much as she doesn't want to let him go, she knows she has to for now at least.

favorite season/movie

has to be hbp just because not only does she continue to come into herself as a person and character but we get all that hinny goodness in that book.

favorite line

eughhhh so many. cause i mean "Anything's possible if you've got Enough Nerve" is just so iconic. and then i love "leave him alone, he didn’t want all of that." because she's like this little 11 year old coming to harry's rescue and i just love it. but i also love her little moments of humour/witticism which i think are kind of underrated like "a pygmy puff, but I didn’t say where." So many good lines.

favorite outfit

oof that's a hard one cause i feel like we don't really hear her fashion-sense described a lot in the books but @blvnk-art definitely draws a lot of my fave fanon ginny looks.

OTP

is there a correct answer besides harry?

brotp

i have to say i'm pretty partial to ginny's friendship with the rest of the silver trio.

head canon

maybe this should actually be my unpopular opinion but i don't really see her as a journalist, so my headcanon is that she has a long, successful quidditch career, probably plays for england in the world cup at some point, and eventually "retires" to a coaching gig or even flying teacher at hogwarts (at this point i imagine her kids are all grown up and moved out and harry has retired from the auror department and is teaching dada at hogwarts also).

unpopular opinion

idk if this is really an unpopular opinion but i find the take that ginny's feelings for harry are just the result of a lingering childhood crush and therefore not necessarily genuine to be kind of stupid. like, there was clearly a period of time across books 3ish, 4 and 5 where she clearly moved on from that crush, tried to date other people and realised she had genuine feelings for harry, and i think you can see that in how she's really willing to call harry out. when you have that kind of crush on someone you think they walk on water and do no wrong, which just doesn't like up with how the canonically are when they got together.

a wish

i wish we'd seen ginny more in books 4, 5, and 7. 4 and 5 mostly just to lay a bit more groundwork for ginny as both an individual character and as a love interest for harry, just because his interest in her in sixth book is a little abrupt (i can buy that he's just seeing her in a new light but wouldn't have minded a few more hints in those previous books). i also wish ginny, luna, and neville had gotten more of their own storyline in the last book, yes yes i know it's harry's story but there were a few scenes where the narrative shifted away from his perspective so i don't think it would have been that out of place. and i think after how they proved themselves in books 5 and 6 all three deserved that extra bit of attention.

an oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

this is more a fandom one but oh god please don't ever ship her with draco - personal dislike

5 words to best describe them

brave, witty, powerful, badass, level-headed

my nickname for them

might be obvious cause of my url but i do like the nickname 'gin' for her

give me a character and i will answer…

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #456

“i don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger, & that feels so rough”

What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for? I know at LEAST over an hour. I was in agony. What type of TV shows are your favourite? Animal docs. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Bitch I still am lmao. Do you know anyone who has died in battle? No. When was the last time you went on an adventure? Bro, I could NOT tell you. I haven't had one of those in what feels like eons. What brand is your vacuum cleaner? I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Are you good at rapping? Never tried, but I'm sure I'd be awful. I stutter too much. Name one world issue that upsets you. Just ONE????????? Well, I can name homelessness as very high on the list. How do you feel about tanning? I hate it. I can't stand the heat, so why would I deliberately go bake in it? Have you ever given a public speech? Yeah, in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade when I was innnn... one of those grades, idr which. It was for my D.A.R.E. essay. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? NOOOOOOOOOOO I'm way too awkward. Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Bro who tf kisses with their eyes open, that shit is creepy. Do you believe you can change someone? No. One can only change themselves. How did you react when your first pet died? I have no memory of our first pet. Have you ever drawn anime? No. Can you use a pogo stick? When I was a kid, I became a MASTER. I got one for I want to say Christmas and I was obsessed. When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like? Idk, first he needs to get on Facebook and see I messaged him alsdkfjalkdj. He like never gets on there. Do you like bathing/showering? No. One, it's a chore, and two, it's actually painful for me, standing up so long and propping my legs up and stuff like that to clean myself properly. Have you ever considered entering a race? HEEEEEEEEEEELL no. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Probably Gaga, idk. Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I actually kinda want a TV now? What do you take the most pictures of? Flowers. What are you always in the mood for? Lately, Krispy Kreme donuts, lol. I haven't had one in a very long time, but goddamn does a hot glazed donut sound BANGIN' right now and has for days. What is something that you never turn down? Hm... how am I blanking??? What is something that you always turn down when offered? Certain foods or drinks, like tea. Name something sexy about your significant other. I don't have one'a those. What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up? Um, idk. As interests work, I may move away from any hobby eventually. If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dance. If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be? Violin. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? A mortician. That job doesn't even seem all that bad to me? I think it'd be kinda chill somehow???? I could NEVER be a surgeon. I'd be terrified of fucking something up. Have you ever been on a subway? No. Are you in love? No. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? *eyes emoji* Do you want to get married when you’re older? Yes. What was the last band shirt you wore? PROBABLY my Metallica shirt? But I'm unsure, ultimately. You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose? Ugh, I've been wanting a nice chocolate milkshake for a while. Have you ever given someone flowers? For Mother's Day one year, I collected some wildflowers to put in a jar for Mom. I've also given Jason roses before. I really wanted to give Sara some when I surprised her for her birthday, but I didn't want to ask her parents to drive me somewhere where I could buy her some, ha ha. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? None. My days are all the same. Do you have any concerts coming up? No, but UGH, I was so hyped a few days ago because I saw Motionless In White was going on tour next year, but of course they're going to the big city on the OTHER end of the state versus the capital, which I'm way closer to. -_- Bands ALWAYS choose Charlotte on the super rare occasion they come to NC... Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ugh, I hate it. What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos, maybe? Between Mountain Dew and those... I am such a fucking gamer stereotype lmfao. Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? I think I had to before in school? Idr. Do you like pineapple? Love it. Does your house have a dishwasher? Yes. A dishwasher is one thing I MUST have in my own future house. I cannot stand touching dirty dishes. Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? Oh, absolutely. Sunflower tattoos are especially popular around here. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and uhhh Spanish? Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. I don't mind them. I've never understood the hate, honestly? I think he's capable of being funny. Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? Only by myself when I was a kid losing my baby teeth. Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail? Nooooo. If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? Fuck no, I hate it. What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds? I don't like those. Do you get cold easily? No, but I get hot extremely easily. Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? I don't think so, no. Do you admire nature? I positively adore nature. If only we treated it better... Name one naughty thing you’ve done. Done sexual things in places I probably shouldn't have, oops. Name two of your favorite things as a child. Pokemon and Webkinz. Do you own a Pillow Pet? No. They're cute, though. My niece has one. Do you tend to solve problems with violence? Absolutely not. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. Do you know a hoarder? Yes. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I just leave 'em be, honestly. Do you have any interesting scar stories? Not really. Do you hate the texture of meatballs? No, I love me some meatballs. Do you get migraines? Very, very rarely. They fucking suck. Do you like guns? NOOOOOOO guns terrify me alsd;kjfal;sdjfk Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') How much time do you spend taking surveys? A whole lot. It's just that I'm like... always bored and the randomness of surveys can add interesting little flares to the day, I guess. Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, for sure. Would you like to work at a candy shop? No. I don't want to work directly with people. Do you have feelings for someone? It's funny; now that I've settled the extreme indecision, I've come to realize that they're very strong feelings. How you go from being indecisive to really, really liking somebody, hell if I know. Which one of your guy friends is the best looking? Uhhh Girt is like my only real guy friend, so I guess it's by default him, ha ha. I'm not particularly attracted to him, but he's not ugly by any means. Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf? I'm so sorry. Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player? Either Ozzy or Metallica. Most likely Ozzy, though. Which song describes your mood at the moment? Hm. I dunno. Which movie(s) do you quote the most? None, really. Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date? None; we don't share irl friends, being many states apart, and not even that many online ones. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? I don't have my own car. Which one of your friends will be the most successful? I'm not psychic. What store did you last shop at? Mom and I picked up a Wal-Mart order the other day. Do you think telepathy is real? Absolutely not. When did you last draw something for fun? A few days ago, I started a drawing of Maieykio for Sara. Who makes the most in your entire family? I have no idea. Do you like writing essays? I don't mind, if the topic interests me. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? Nah. Well, I think you can take it to an visual extreme, but that's just my opinion. Do what makes you comfortable in your own body. Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up? It's picked up. When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands? The inside of my elbow. Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? It usually happened at night. Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test? Haven't taken it yet. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? OH MY GOD NEITHER Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently: No one, really? Well, unless you count my change of feelings for Girt, but it's just that: a type of change. I've loved him platonically since high school, and it's like, I feel the same for him, just in a romantic way now? Does your car have a sunroof? No. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? My mom. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope, not how I roll. Who’s the last person you cuddled with? Sara. Unless you count my cat. Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook? Former teachers, yes. I feel kinda bad for 'em now... They're all the sweetest, God-fearing people, and then there's my outspoken (online) and liberal ass sharing shit that's gotta disappoint them now lmaoooo.

[musical-chick-13]

And Theon bc I love him

WHAT A COINCIDENCE I LOVE HIM TOO (this answer is gonna be a combination of books and show)

Send me a character and I’ll tell you the following:

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-I would say yes. The only negative I have about his general arc is his death (which, see below). But Theon from the very beginning was, though not a particularly nice person, still relatable. Feeling othered, wanting to be accepted by an immediate environment that doesn’t accept you, isolated from and ostracized by your family, and the tension that comes between serving the different types of familial relationships in your life. Theon has no idea who he is, tossed aside by his blood family for not growing up with them and being “soft,” aka sort-of moral and having emotions that aren’t selfish rage or smugness (which, yep, that second part is a mood, see: my entire childhood and how no one wanted to be around an “emotional” “soft” child). And from there, he spirals out of control in a way that, while certainly not admirable by any stretch of the imagination, is still understandable in the context of the narrative and his characterization. And from there, after going through hell and quite literally losing himself (even to the point of straight-up denying rescue), he builds himself back up gradually, to the point where he expressed extreme regret for what he’s done, helps an innocent woman escape a truly horrifying situation, acknowledges that his family is generally garbage, and (in-show b/c again books aren’t finished), helping to restore his sister to power, rescuing her after his PTSD relapses while confronting Euron, and ultimately opting to protect the Starks come hell or high water in order to genuinely atone for what he’s done. He is no longer conflicted because he wants to do the right thing, and that right thing is defending the kingdom from the White Walkers and making sure Sansa and Bran are safe. And it’s no longer about fulfilling a duty or finding a family to fill the void. Because now he has found himself. I will contend that Theon has one of the best, most nuanced, most organic redemption arcs of all time. I will forever be grateful that I got to see that piece of storytelling unfold.

Although, I would love to know what he thought of Dany. A missed opportunity, that.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-Positive: His arc of identity and finding where your loyalties lie ties into the overall theme of “How do you find yourself in a world where goodness, authenticity, and honesty are often punished and increasingly rare?” And it proves that governmental politics aren’t the only defining factors in decisions: familial politics can be just as difficult and dangerous, which adds yet another rich, complicated layer to the overall story. He has a genuine, honest-to-Drowned-God redemption arc, which is...not really present anywhere else in the story (no, Jaime is not on a Redemption Quest, I will die on this hill). But I think the biggest draw of Theon’s presence is that it deconstructs the whole “Character Revenge Fantasy” idea. He does bad things. We want him to be punished. But not like that. No one deserves that. How far is too far? What does retribution really look like? Given how easily that idea can be abused and go off the rails, is retribution even something to strive for? What is the point of using extreme violence/torture/mutilation/breaking someone’s psyche when it doesn’t really accomplish anything? Isn’t atonement and genuine justice a better option? It certainly was for Theon. He could only piece himself back together and do anything meaningful once he was out of his abusive environment. All of these are imporant questions that are posed by his existence in the narrative.

-Negative: Idk if I have much to say here. My biggest problem is his death (see below), but that’s not really a negative story effect so much as...being disappointing and narratively irrelevant. I gotta say, his introduction via his sister was...really weird. I genuinely have no idea why GRRM wrote that. It never came up again or had any kind of narrative ramifications and kind of cast a strange, uncomfortable light on his relationship with Asha/Yara for the remainder of the story. I can ignore and enjoy their later relationship it if I don’t think about it too hard, though, so I guess I’ll chalk it up to GRRM having a Bad Idea.

• What my favorite arc for them is.

-All of it?? Theon’s journey is kind of...one big arc, which is why I think it works so well. He has this overarching redemption plot which spans the entire series and informs every decision he makes (for good or for bad, depending on where in the aforementioned journey he is). The redemption arc isn’t bogged down with side plots or other pieces of narrative clutter, meaning it has time to grow and, thus, be gradual and realistic. If I had to choose a specific point, it’s probably when he tries to reintegrate back into society via supporting Yara. Gaining the Iron Islands’ support for her ruling, spiriting away with Euron’s fleet, and ultimately rescuing his sister after her capture. He can’t just go back into society. He’s scared. He has really bad PTSD. But he recognizes that putting his home in good hands is something bigger than just him because it’s Yara’s home, too. I just...I really love family relationships, y’all.

• What I think of their ending.

-I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I get that the series is GrimDark™ and that people who make the right choice and fight for good die all the time, but Theon dying just felt...wrong. To me.

And, like...I get it. It makes sense to parallel his original descent into villainy (cemented by executing those two boys and pretending they were Bran and Rickon) with him dying to protect Bran himself. It ties into the whole very common trope of completing a full redemption arc by committing a completely selfless act at great personal cost. It’s kind of like the whole Missy thing in Doctor Who (which...hoo boy, that post is coming, make no mistake), where selfishness is directly opposed by making the ultimate sacrifice with no motivation for personal gain. And the fact that the last words he ever heard were “You’re a good man?” I cannot even begin to describe how much that makes me sob. But...honestly, I’m really tired of this idea that redemption has to end in death in order to be achieved or “complete.” I think it’s much more poignant to have a redeemed character live to help build a better world. Because what’s the point of telling people to be better if the “reward” is death? No one’s going to want to reform themselves if they think that’ll be the result.

I think the thing that Bugs Me™ the most is that Theon never really got to have a moment of peace when he was alive. Sansa gained the North’s love and at least had a secure childhood. Ned and Cat were happily married for years. Arya had parents who loved her and a good relationship with Jon. Jon fell in love with Ygritte and found his Night Watch Bros, and Robb (in show verse) had some very happy moments with Talisa. Davos put great stock in what he considered fulfilling friendships with Stannis and Shireen; Brienne was treated respectfully by Renly, Catelyn, and Sansa; Missandei and Grey Worm had each other and their friendship with Dany, who herself had many personal successes in her quest for the Iron Throne and saw the death of her abusive brother. Cersei even had moments with Jaime (who himself had several notable military victories and at least some time with Myrcella, as well as being gladly and deeply in love, however dysfunctional that love was), times when she successfully fought off enemies (including her dad), and some sweet moments with Tommen, as well as a huge victory via blown-up sept at the end of season 6. Theon was treated as a second-class family member by the Starks his whole life by being “traded” to them as a condition of war resolution AS A BABY, is immediately disparaged and mistreated by his immediate family when he tries to return to them, makes terrible decisions that almost cost him his conscience completely, is brutally tortured by Ramsay, is on the run with his sister from Euron almost immediately after, and has a PTSD attack that ultimatly results in him having to launch a rescue mission. And then he fights ice zombies. And then he dies. He never really...got to be happy at all? There was never any kind of “win” for him. Not even survival. The narrative couldn’t even give him that.

TLDR: Theon’s death seemed less shock-value-y than others (like, for example, Shireen or Missandei or, heck, Melisandre even), and it isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s narratively-informed and it makes sense as an emotional through-line, but, ultimately, Redemption Cemented By Selfless Death is a tired trope, and I honestly thought this story (which...you know...serves as a deconstruction of common fantasy tropes/book tropes in general) was better than that.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

-So here’s where we get personal™ kids.

So, it’s no secret that I am...severely mentally ill. I’ve talked about expression/presentation of mental illness in regard to Cersei a lot on this blog, and how that (as paradoxical as it may seem) helped bring a sense of comfort and emotional resonance to me. Theon, post-Ramsay, has, I think, a very clear case of PTSD. Theon is one of the few characters I’ve seen where his mental illness isn’t the cause of the bad, violent, dangerous choices he makes. It only takes root after he has made the decision and conscious effort to better himself, and it, rather than demonizing him, serve to humanize him. His trauma didn’t define him. And although a PTSD attack led to him unintentionally losing Yara to Euron’s capture, he makes every effort to rescue her, a goal he does end up achieving. It is so rare I get to see a character who goes through these things, successfully fight them and come out with positive qualities at the end. Like...switching topics a bit here, Jaime going back to King’s Landing to (try to) escape and ultimately die with Cersei made sense to me because, as Jaime says, he is a hateful man. He never made much of an honest effort to be anything else. And he never truly wanted to be good; he just wanted to be liked. He wanted to adopt some personality that would make him feel less disconnected from the rest of the world. But Theon...genuinely feels remorse for everything he’s done. He makes a concerted effort to do everything in his power to improve the lives of people he believes are good and deserve to be safe. So, just...killing him off in a Completely Selfless Sacrifice (like...you know how a lot of mentally ill people put themselves through suffering-like OCD rituals, bottling feelings, self-harm, even suicide-in a misplaced attempt to “help” or “protect other people”) seemed antithetical to everything we saw of his arc.

Ultimately, with such a humanizing, empathetic portrayal of trauma and mental health struggles, seeing Theon be killed off just...pissed me off. I am so tired of seeing mentally ill characters die. I really want to believe that I can live through and thrive in spite of the things that afflict me, and I get example after example of characters not being allowed to do that. It feels awful, quite frankly. And it makes hope that much harder. 

I also just feel like...there was nothing the story gained from his death? I get the thematic parallels as mentioned earlier, but it didn’t really move the story forward in any significant way. It didn’t motivate other characters to do anything, it had no political ramifications, it didn’t serve to contribute to any kind of happy ending or commentary on society, it just...was sad. Again, I thought this story was better than that.

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room���…. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

[lovestillaround]

Thoughts about Phil’s last video (Draw My Life: Part 2)

So, it’s been two days and I still have trouble processing all the information from Phil’s newest video - that’s why I’m writing my thoughts down, hoping that it will give me more inner peace. Disclaimer: following text includes critique of the video, so if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff/ not in the mood for hearing my negative opinions, please proceed with caution or stop reading. Love ya <3

So, Phil starts the video saying that he’s aware that we know what’s been mostly going on in his life during the last six years and that he’s gonna share with us all the behind the scenes facts. And that on itself is fine, but oh boy, nothing would prepare me for the amount of negativity that I was going to endure (and no, I’m not talking about the subjects of death and illness). I said it to my friend and I still stand by that opinion - the video was for me more like “20 minutes of complaining about/listing every bad thing that happened in my life” than actual “draw my life”. And well, obviously Phil has the right to reflect on his life in whatever way he wants, but as I was watching the video, I couldn’t help getting more and more frustrated with his lack of awareness, especially regarding the massive privilege that he has and has always had. (Also, I’m not trying to call him out for being rich and being able to afford things that I can’t afford - that’s not at all what this is about, it’s about the attitude and the way he chose to speak about those things).

While I do think that the video was full of lovely and cute moments, I’m going to focus mainly on what I found annoying or upsetting, just to keep it (relatively) short. So, I was talking about how in my opinion the video was filled with negativity. You might ask - where is it, Daria? Or more importantly - why is it bad? The response to the video is (at least from what I saw) overwhelmingly positive. Well, I’ll try to explain how I see it.

The video literally starts with Phil saying that London was (is?) 5x more expensive than Manchester, and that if their career in London didn’t work out, they would have had to move back to their parents. I have enough compassion to understand that it must have been hard for them to feel insecure about their finances (I know this feeling damn too well) - but I also think that people should, idk, be generally aware that their actions have consequences? They took a risk, and it was hard to live in uncertainty - I get that - but people having to live with their parents is a reality for so many people! So many young people don’t even get a chance to start an independent life, for various reasons. And I’m not saying that he doesn’t have the right to talk about his struggles - just for me, in the light of the rest of the video that is played on a similar note, it becomes clear that Phil isn’t aware of how much luck he’s had in life and how he has already started his life from a much better position than - can I say that? - probably the majority of people. So for me, what lacks in the video is, idk, maybe just one instance where he acknowledges his privilege? Or just generally him using a different language while talking about his experience, choosing his words more carefully, but I’ll get to that later.

The negativity continues when Phil talks about how he could not work out how to operate the radio control panel, how it was a bad decision to say yes to everything (although I admit, this one is just Phil acknowledging sth that he has learned over the years, which isn’t really negative but let’s still keep it on the list of bad things), anxiety, lack of sleep, stress, juggling responsibilities, people that they used to work with getting more from dnp than dnp did from them, dnp doing things out of obligation, not being able to fully create things how they wanted to, people being cynical about youtubers doing projects/not understanding youtube and media’s negative reactions, loads of office work, risking all their life savings to go on tour, heteronormativity of the interviewers, lots of work related to creating gaming channel videos, overworking themselves during gamingmas, frustration with people not realising how much work happens behind the scenes, people cancelling projects, losing money because of Manila. 

On the other hand, the positives that Phil talked about were getting job at the radio, getting 1 million subs, interviewing people being a cool thing, everything about his relationship with family was very positive, getting a new team of people to work with and dropping some responsibilities like the radio show, success of the books and tours and games they created, creative freedom, positive relationship with his audience, improvement of the press over the years and people in traditional businesses becoming aware of what youtube is, creating and expanding irl merch, having fun on tour. 

Then comes the moment when I got genuinely quite confused, aka the moment when Phil talks about not having a life. Like.... really? He has every right to feel what he feels but honestly, not that many people would count themselves lucky enough to be in a long term relationship, having a loving family, four friends that want to hang out with them, going out to dinner dates and cinemas on the regular, regularly going on vacations, being able to take private yoga or boxing lessons etc. 

When I heard him saying “and I didn’t do any normal stuff people do, like getting a house or a dog”, that’s the point when I’ve lost all my hope. Like, I’m sorry Phil, but are you really gonna complain about not having time to get a house because of the life choices that you’ve made? Just… think about it. I’m not an expert on the standard of life in the UK but I personally can think of exactly zero people that I know who bought a house in their 20s. And I have to say, it’s upsetting that he seems to be so detached from what is the reality for many many people. 

Sharing personal stuff on the internet requires courage and I don’t want to be the one who takes all this knowledge and uses it against him. But I’m genuinely upset with the way he handled things this time. As I was watching the video for the first time, at the end of it all I could think was - wow, you’re really that entitled, aren’t you?

And it makes me sad, because I see two possible reasons for him being like that:

a) He is not in the best place mentally, so that he can only really focus rn on the negative aspects of his life, regretting his past choices, being disappointed in how his personal life looks like. This could be supported the fact that for basically any major thing that happened in his life he decided to share with us and elaborate mostly the negative details attached to it, rarely the positive ones (see the list of positive and negative things that I included above). 

b) He is completely unaware of what’s the average threshold for a “good quality life”, and he’s not aware of his own privilege. 

To elaborate a bit more on the point b): one could see Phil’s video as maybe a reminder that everything comes with a prize and that even though a youtuber’s life might seem super easy, there’s still a lot of stress and work involved that we just don’t see. But… I’ve been aware of that. Nobody’s life is one-dimensional, and everyone has struggles. And of course they have to edit their videos and do the business stuff. But when Phil says how he sometimes wishes people were aware of his personal struggles, I can only think that this is the reality for many many people, not only celebrities on the internet. Idk, maybe I just wasn’t the target of this whole segment in the first place, but for me it sounds borderline patronising, and again, entitled, because as I mentioned, everyone has their own struggles.

But for me, Phil doesn’t seem to be aware that he was only able to make some of the life choices that he’s made because he already had a good start in life in the first place. He’s always had a safety net in form of his parents, so he could make a choice of risking everything and moving to London for example. And yes, coming back home and asking his parents for money could have been embarrassing for him and emotionally hard, but so many people could not take such risk, or any risk, in general! Because they have families that they need to take care of. Because they have not enough money to move to an expensive city, no matter the circumstances. Because they have no one left who would help them financially if something went wrong. And so many other reasons!

On one hand, I can empathise with his frustration. I know how it is to work my ass off just to be able to go to uni, while many people that I know get money from their parents, go to a couple of lectures and then party/do nothing really. And then having other people thinking that everything is easy for me because idk I’ve always had good grades so according to them I don’t need to work as hard. Is it frustrating? Yeah. It’s hard to be misunderstood, or having your work belittled. But I would never blame other people for not being aware of how much work comes with the lifestyle that I’ve chosen. And I’m aware that dnp were working their asses off to create good things for us, but also, obviously, they were hoping to make financial profit out of it. It might sound awful but they did not have to do most of those things. In many instances, they totally did not have to overwork themselves, because it was not like they were making money to survive, they were making money just to make more money, basically. Nothing evil in wanting to make money but honestly Phil, most people work super hard, and they don’t get millions for it. While I do acknowledge that they’ve been working hard, and that a part of their audience might have not been aware of that, I think that complaining about that seems quite… inconsiderate? Complaining about the lack of private life seems inconsiderate too, especially because most people aren’t privileged enough to just decide to put their work aside and focus on their private life whenever they want. Many people I know are overworking themselves too, simply because they don’t have another choice. 

So, I’m quite upset. I don’t know what my point is. It seems to me like in that video Phil comes from a place of deep frustration, and well, I’m frustrated too. Fair game, I guess?

I want them to have a good life. I want them to do whatever the hell they need to do in order to be happy, I want them to get a goddamn dog and a house. But I also hope they’ll continue to grow, and that maybe next time Phil will be more considerate, and more careful with words.

[thejenesaisquoigirl]

For your D&D character meme, how 'bout odds for Talise, evens for Tamsyn, and the letter C? :D

Had a feeling this revenge was coming XD *cracks knuckles* Here we go!

1) What would they consider to be their biggest failure?

Talise: Oof. Maybe not being able to save her family, or at least her sister-in-law and nephew. Maybe her (former) deep reliance on alcohol once her memories started coming back. Trauma is a motherfucker

2) What’s the story behind their name?

Tamzen: When it comes to naming characters, I really just start thinking of names that stick out. It started with “Tiernan”–from Pirate Queen–and I must have watched an episode of The Tudors with Tamsin Merchant to remember that name, too. “Tamsin” kept sounding best with the character concept and then the spelling changed to “-zen” as a subtle joke since she’s a monk haha

3) What’s their relationship with their family?

Talise: When she was Hosanna, very close. They all loved learning (though maybe different things), the people in their city, and each other. She was closest to her brother, Yanis, despite their age difference. She felt adrift without a family unit, having a ship and crew helped, and finding Yanis has upset any equilibrium she was finding. 

4) What’s one song that describes them or is them?

Tamzen: Not many peeps know this, but she was built to be the personification of the “Morgan: Amor Tristis (or Morgan - Amor Tristis on Spotify)” instrumental from the Ah! My Goddess movie. My all-time favorite instrumental and it suits her story.

5) Who is their best friend?

Talise: Expanding on the Yanis thing, he was her best friend growing up. So the years in which she thought he was dead and that she failed him were rough…but she was working towards a place of resignation…then they found him alive. It’s super weird now because yes, her brother used to be able to embarrass her; but now, it’s the first time she’s ever felt shame. Hosanna, while sharing a small flair for the dramatic, was a very different person than Talise was crafted to be. But in the party, Jax is the closest to a best friend, no contest. 

6) Why are they their class?

Tamzen: She ran away from the city after her heartbreak and stumbled across a traveling group of mousefolk. Most of them were monks but since she stayed with the leader and his wife (the only ones with stuff able to house a larger humanoid), they were the ones who taught her as a way to find calm and take back a sense of control. 

7) What do they think of their party members?

Talise: She feels distinct lines in the sand. At first, they seemed only about their sleeping habits (there was no other way the rooming arrangements could have shaken out and everyone live). But now, it feels very much like two separate factions working together. Separately: Q- she’s terrified of everything she does being in that book, and she has a hard time wrestling with his innocent naiveté when it reminds her of who she used to be. Briony- Not used to being around women in a strictly friendship sense, but is happy for her presence so Q has someone of a similar maturity. Braxton- He’s rarely there. Jax- They instinctually understand each other. It’s complicated but in a good way. Caspian- Like recognizes like but she feels they have different motivations behind collecting information…and it’s hard for her to move beyond a betrayal of trust.

8) In what ways are they similar to you?

Tamzen: Extremely calm under pressure, thinks she’s never good enough to be significant to anyone enough to not leave her, thoughtful gift-giver, gives herself for others until there’s nothing left, can have an accidentally sharp sense of humor, deep well of feeling and protectiveness for those she considers “hers”

9) In what ways are they different from you?

Talise: Unashamed in the way she moves through the world, unabashedly flirtatious and teasing, confident, how she copes with things (tends to be physical indulgences), seeing trust as black and white, unafraid of confrontation or large birds

10) What do they look for in a romantic partner, if they have a romantic orientation?

Tamzen: Someone who doesn’t see her as second best or not enough. Someone she doesn’t need to take care of but who can take care of her. Tamzen has a competency kink a mile wide; so if they’re even-keeled, stronger, a better fighter, and extremely skilled in what they do…they’re definitely her type. She’s a pretty quiet person, so they need to be comfortable with silence and understand things unsaid as she’s very action-oriented. You can tell a lot about how she feels about someone based on her actions, not her words. They also need to love her son.

11) If they had a patronus or animagus form, what would it be?

Talise: Ooooooooo….idk. Maybe a panther animagus? Something that slinks around with confidence but can be very soft. Patronus would be a cat like Talis or a hippogriff like Fantôme…or a peafowl. 

12) What do they smell like?

Tamzen: Orange blossoms and vanilla, with hints of herbs that can be used medicinally (eg: lavender, tea tree, etc)

13) What is their secret skill?

Talise: Sketching/drawing. She’s intensely private about it; but has charcoal, pencils, and a sketchbook in her pack that’s rather like a diary.  

14) What is their relationship to spirituality?

Tamzen: Complicated haha. She’s a “tsuki kitsune” and I tweaked that to mean she’s a fox blessed by the goddess of love with the potential of becoming “human.” Her “parents” are the guardians of a special, unknown spot in a forest the goddess has declared sacred; there to take care of the clearing and of any creature blessed by it…and Tamzen was a fox spawned  there. Anyways, so even as a fox, she was engrained with this strong belief in the goddess and had an awareness of her presence; but then something devastating happened with the person Tamzen thought she was fated to be with–who had been the cause of her transformation. Ever since, Tamzen has had a tumultuous time with the idea of love…much less having firm faith in her goddess, because she feels betrayed. She’s slowly trying to repair her side of the relationship through making sure her friends find love; but she still thinks she’s been abandoned by someone she had absolute faith in, so she’s weary.

15) If they were to be remembered for something, what would they want to be remembered for?

Talise: NOT like what they were shouting at Hosanna. She’d like to be remembered, in general, rather than lost to lines in a book. She wants people to speak of her and the small amount of goodness she’s put into the world.

16) Why did they become an adventurer?

Tamzen: Happenstance led to her becoming a monk…and she needed additional discipline to try to silence the rage and nastiness brewing inside of her, so she joined the army. The adventuring grew from that.

17) What’s one thing about their backstory that came to you after you already started playing the campaign?

Talise: THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. One notable thing–I hadn’t even thought about her being an alcoholic (sober now) until making her playlist. For some reason, “Chandelier” kept coming up and it had to have been a sign because it’s deepened her in ways I wasn’t expecting. Also her tattoos.

18) Do you have any headcanons for them that haven’t come up in game? Or headcanons for other party members?

Tamzen: Totes! She plays the lute only for Tal or when she needs to really think through something–frequently those moments are one in the same when he’s playing outside. Her internal crisis over always being second best and slowly being resigned to it. Party members: Mama: they sometimes read together (even though Tamzen doesn’t like to read), trade skills (Mama helps her build strength and she helps Mama with flexibility), and that Mama has to spend extra time in front of a mirror before going to a fancy event to take in the fact that this is her life now and she gets to wear these pretty things and be feminine. Kerrick: that he’ll sometime have ink in his hair from running his fingers through it while copying down spells. TBD: thinks it’s hilarious how he still hasn’t had to explain his name and has a running bet with himself over it. Finn: she catches Tal speaking squeakspeak to Finn while playing and Finn just going with it and trying to learn the game through context instead.

19) Any ships with your character? If a PC or NPC, what interaction launched it?

Talise: YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE, SHIPPY MCSHIPPERSON xD. She’s the first character in a LONG time I legit ship with another PC. Whether it becomes romantic or remains platonic (it’s not just up to me or Talise), Jax is the most significant person in her life–excluding her brother. They just got each other from day one and they seem to be the only ones able to easily talk to the other, even when the subject is difficult. The canon you created about her feeling safe with Jax is 100% true; ever since Before, she has a hard time sleeping around other people but she trusts him enough to even share a bed…and he’s the only one with whom she would never be anything but truthful. At their core, they are people reinventing themselves after tragedy but don’t know if they’re doing it right. But Jax makes Talise feel it’s alright to be who she authentically is rather than acting the part she’s written for herself; and to find joy again in the things from her past. The ship’s legit launch was after their serious conversation about “equivalent exchange” in relationships (about Caspian) and has since been buoyed by all their side chats + interactions. “…are you just going to stare at me?” “Until you’re ready.”

20) What would your character consider their biggest success? Or what is your favorite success your character has had so far?

Tamzen: Tal and facing Silas again. She’s really surprised me in how she’s been able to grow to where she is now…so that’s an awesome success because it feels like there’s still more growing for her to do emotionally. But the ultimate success EVER was the gift of the hearthstone to Mama. It was canon lore created on the fly and it was so meaningful and has become a cornerstone of Tamzen’s character. 

Letter C: 

Smartest- Talise and Syl are the most booksmart; Calla is the wisest about people (followed by Talise and Tamzen); Vi is the smartest about how to use people for her advantage; Mireth is the most diplomatically savvy.Most Attractive- Tamzen is that annoying woman who looks beautiful even without makeup (#blessed) but isn’t necessarily sexy like Talise is. From there it’s Mireth (that half elf/half fae glowup), Calla (aasimar moon baby),  Lady Vi (moon elf tall, slim model build), Evi (Italian witchy woman), and then Syl (striking but not always considered beautiful).Hogwarts- Ravenclaws are Talise and Syl. Slytherins are Lady Vi and Evi. Hufflepuffs are Calla and Mireth. Gryffindor is Tamzen.

[inspector-montoya-fox]

Sly 3 is my least favourite Sly game (don’t ask me about the other one) and i’ve occasionally expressed some issues i have with the game but if you haven’t noticed here’s an in-depth explanation:

plot: i understand why Sucker Punch didn’t choose to continue with the Clockwerk storyline. honey, by the end of Sly 2 the bird was fried & crackedT. in theory, the Cooper Vault was a great idea: one of the series’ main themes is family and it’s logical that there’d be a family heirloom passed down by generations of thieves. heck, even globetrotting in order to assemble other thieves is a very fun concept and draws inspo from The Usual Suspects and the Oceans franchise. but i think SP handled the execution very poorly. i’ve talked time and time again about how they failed to focus on the fact that Sly’s dad had a Bentley and a Murray and how that would make for great depth in a supposed children’s game. the theme of sidekicks is only briefly touched upon when Dr. M encounters Bentley and we’re left to imagine the rest. plus, the Cooper Vault doesn’t make a lot of sense in a world of talking animals with real-life occupations. i mean, what about the Thievius Racconus?

world-building: i’m sorry but none of the levels are as vast and as exciting as Sly 2′s levels - and frankly, it’s not even their fault. it’s just that, Sly 2 set the bar so high that it was a very difficult act to follow. in Sly 2, the levels were interactive as well (think: the Contessa’s giant robot, Jean Bison’s light-house, Rajan’s elephants). in Sly 3, SP gave us Australia and the Caribbean but without these locations’ essence. Rumble Down Under was just a pile of red rocks and Dead Men Tell No Tales was overshadowed by the forced pirate-ship missions. that being said, Venice was a cute little ki with the moving boats and all, but don’t even get me started on China (huge, beautiful level that made you go ‘China again!?’). the game obviously needed at least 2 more levels and more interactive environments. and i don’t have to say this again but, the levels had to take place during night-time to give the game that THIEF AESTHETIC LORDT

characters: i’m all for introducing new characters...... if you have the time and the ability to really flesh them out. and we know SP had both so i don’t know what compelled them to introduce 2 new fabulous characters (the Guru & Penelope) just to then give them minor roles with almost zero screentime. those aforementioned 2 levels the game needed as a boost would be excellent time and space to not have the gang recruit anyone else and thus shoehorn some exposition and depth. Dimitri and Panda King making a comeback as antiheroes was an interesting idea that sorta worked out in the end but was too insignificant for me to actually care. and..... SP really backed themselves into a corner with Murray quitting the gang at the end of Sly 2 huh..... that story arc was... it was something, i’ll tell you that.

with Sly 2′s legacy and success looming over SP’s head, it’s quite understandable that they couldn’t really replicate their previous achievement. don’t get me wrong, it’s a good game and i love it as much as the other 2, but it resides in its predecessor’s shadow. Sly 2 was sensational. amazing story, amazing villains, amazing levels. so basically, SP kinda rushed it... idk

[pepprs]

[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

[sagemoderocklee]

Hi two questions! If you’ll take them. Question 1. On your blog it says Boruto free-zone, but do you like Gaaras son? Idk his name, I don’t watch the show but I would like to get on opinion on him. Question 2. I’m writing a LeeGaa fanfic and was wondering if you had any tips about writing them. I’m a little worried about making them OOC, like I am all fics honestly but I really want to get this right before posting. And tips? Thanks, love your blog!

Hi, anon! Sorry for not getting to this sooner. It’s been a long week to say the least. I hope I can give satisfactory answers to your questions because I’m still exhausted and a lil bit sick from my move this past weekend.

As far as Gaara’s son, Shinki: I think he’s a good kid, but it’s very unoriginal writing in terms of his origins and his personality. He’s Gaara 2.0. I have nothing against him and I think he’s an adorable lil goth child, but as with all the Boruto kids they’re just different versions of their parents with slightly different backstories and in a lot of cases a lot less trauma. I don’t really think there’s anything compelling about the series–the stakes seem pretty low compared to Naruto, the writing is just not good, and I was always more invested in the original Naruto characters. Boruto is a cash cow–it’s piggy-backing off of Naruto’s success to keep making money off people emotionally invested in the series. 

Now, the big question: Since I don’t know what you’re writing, all my advice is going to be pretty generic, but obviously you’re welcome to ask more questions and even send me private messages to chat. 

So I think it can be really dependent on the fic in question–like if you’re writing a modern AU, you really have to figure out what makes the characters who they are and what is the inherent draw between the two of them, then divorce them from all Naruto context. They aren’t child soldiers, they don’t have ninja magic, there’s no tailed beasts, etc. Any AU is going to be a little more complicated because you have to think about how you’re approaching the characters more creatively. 

If you’re writing in canon, then it’s a little easier because you don’t have to take them out of Naruto-world and put them elsewhere while still maintaining the characters. 

I have recently answered a similar ask about this sort of thing, though it was specific to the characters, which is of course important, but if you haven’t looked at this post, it’s a good place to start in terms of who Gaara and Lee are, because ultimately if you’re not writing the characters correctly, the relationship will also suffer in terms of the writing. This is also a good post in terms of general writing advice, and you can also go through my gaara, lee, or gaalee tags to see any other asks I’ve answered about these two and this ship to get some of my perspective on the characters and their relationship. 

Here’s a good breakdown on what I think a good GaaLee fic, canon or AU, needs to have to be successful, which I’ll extrapolate on under a cut: 

A Solid Foundation

Individuals

The Law of Attraction

Balance

Avoid Contrivance

Be Creative

The Journey

So now that we got the main points presented, let’s break this down.

1. A Solid Foundation

The biggest road block to a successful GaaLee story is laying a foundation. We don’t get a lot of their friendship in the actual series because of the pacing of the series, so we need more of a foundation for a believable, compelling romance.  

For me, I’ve always personally preferred slow burns, but with certain ships, slow burns feel more necessary–I need to know why these two are close enough to form a romantic relationship. I need to know what groundwork the story I’m about to read is laying for them. A solid foundation can be anything, but it needs to be there. I need to know that they’ve had more than a handful of interactions. While the Gaara vs Lee fight, and Gaara rescuing Lee from Kimimaro are both very good pieces of their shared history, I still want to see more than just that and I think that ultimately it strengthens a story and strengthens the relationship you’re presenting when we have a good foundation. 

Gaara especially needs a good foundation to develop a romance with someone and rushing right through the building blocks makes it harder to see him forming those feelings and pursuing that relationship, so it’s vital when approaching a GaaLee fic to keep in mind the way this character can and will fall in love. Lee is more prone to developing crushes on people at first sight, and while that crush can develop into a deeper love, Lee doesn’t only need to have insta-crushes on someone to fall in love with someone. With Lee, there’s a lot of options for how you approach romance, whereas Gaara is more limited. 

When building a foundation for these two ask yourself what the starting point is–set aside the Gaara vs Lee fight, set aside the Kimimaro fight; we already know about those fights. What is the start of the foundation for your story? What’s the spark? What’s the thread that ties them together? Figure out what the building blocks are for your story, and don’t rush through building that foundation. Don’t limit and weaken the romance by forgetting to build it on top of a good foundation; don’t forget that a solid romance is built on a foundation of friendship and trust. 

2. Individuals 

An important and often forgotten aspect to writing ship fics in general, is the fact that you’re writing a story about two different people coming together. They are two separate, individual people with their own desires, ambitions, beliefs, motivations, etc. They do not cease being themselves once they enter into a relationship, but often times, much like with the lack of a foundation, people forget to allow these characters to maintain an identity outside of the person they are in a relationship with. 

Lee’s whole world shouldn’t revolve around Gaara, and Gaara’s whole world shouldn’t revolve around Lee. Give them depth, give them a life outside of the relationship they have. Don’t lose who they are as individuals, because then you lose who they are as a couple as well. They share their stories with one another, but their stories shouldn’t only be about one another. 

And, along these lines, if you don’t have a grasp of who these characters are as individuals, then you’re not going to have a grasp of who they are as a couple. Always ask yourself simple questions when approaching road blocks in your story: who is this person? what do they want? why do they want it? how will they get it? That tells you a lot about a character either in the moment or as a whole. Who is Rock Lee? What does he want? Why does he want it? How will he get it? You can also ask yourself the opposite: who isn’t this character? what do they not want? why don’t they want it? how will they avoid this? Who isn’t Gaara?–meaning what sort of person is he not, (ie callous and cold) What does he not want? How does he avoid this outcome? Also knowing how far a character is willing to go to either get or avoid what they want can really help. 

An example scenario: Gaara loves Lee, but the only way he and Lee can be together is if he gives up being the Kazekage. Gaara cannot and will not give up being the Kazekage. Being the Kazekage is a part of who he is. As much as he loves Lee, he cannot give up his village and he will give up Lee over his village. 

So, building around that gives you a lot of options to talk about who they are and what struggles they face as individuals and as a couple. What they value and how it can cause tension, etc. 

Again, one of the most important things, in my opinion, is having a story outside of these two; giving them motivations outside of each other, giving them relationships outside of each other, etc. 

3. The Law of Attraction

With writing romance, there are a couple of things to consider in terms of why two people might be attracted to one another–from physical to emotional, the choices you make in building the romance itself need to be grounded. What do they see in each other? What attracts them to one another? And is it compelling enough to build a story around?

Everyone has something they find attractive in someone else from looks to personality. Did Lee feel a spark the first time Gaara smiled at him? Was it the green of Gaara’s eyes that first made Lee stop and stare? Was Lee’s kindness and determination what first made Gaara’s heart skip a beat?  

Find those moments that draw them to one another–it’s like gravity, and it should keep pulling them closer to one another until their orbits are so tightly connected that interference with that orbit would be devastating. The stakes don’t necessarily need to be high from the outside world, you can have your modern AUs and still have an intense emotional connection between the two, but it has to come from somewhere; the attraction needs flow naturally. Often times, the best and most natural expression of attraction in stories is done subtly. Sometimes, we’re not really aware that we’re drawn to someone until we’re already caught up in their orbit–and I think that’s a good way to present Gaara and Lee. Both kind of oblivious until it’s glaring them in the face.

So find the gravity between them and let it grow. 

4. Balance

One thing that I personally love about GaaLee is that they are such polar opposites that they balance each other out. Not too long ago, I answered this ask about Gaara and Lee and the symbolism of the tiger and dragon from their fight–it’s pretty apt though to think of the way they impact each other as yin and yang. It’s a balance. They become better for having each other in their lives. 

In general, when talking about a healthy romance, it should be enriching; it should feel like it compliments both people. Gaara and Lee compliment one another, and I think that should come through in the story itself, even before the romance is explicit. Gaara calms Lee; Lee excites Gaara. Where Lee goes left, Gaara goes right, and together they make a perfect circle. 

Finding where they differ, will help you find where they create balance within each other. 

5. Avoid Contrivance

One of the things that always sticks out to me with GaaLee fics is that it feels like people don’t know how to get them together. How do we get Lee to Suna? How do we get them to fall in love? etc. There’s always this like confusion, this sort of floundering to think up new ways to make it happen because I think everyone’s stuck on the idea that Lee has to be in Suna for them to fall in love. Obviously, in more recent years, there’s been an upswing of Gaara visiting Konoha as a premise, but even with that context it feels like grasping at straws for the how and that leads to contrivance, and most importantly to falling back on that one fic from ten+ years ago as a building block for a GaaLee fic. 

Let’s face it, if you don’t want them to do long distance, yes Lee will inevitably end up in Suna. But he doesn’t have to always be in Suna for them to start a relationship, and if you’re gonna have him be in Suna, it probably shouldn’t be because he’s a diplomatic envoy. Lee isn’t a diplomat. He is so far from being suited for politics and diplomacy it’s honestly hilarious. I’ve done it. We’ve all done it. But he’s not gonna be an envoy for diplomatic liaisons between villages, and that needs to be acknowledged. Lee is a man of action, not words, and definitely not the sort of games that politicians play. 

So when you inevitably decide that Lee’s gonna go to Suna, be creative. And outside of that, think of ways to get them out of Suna and Konoha! There are endless possibilities! Don’t limit yourself! 

There are other contrivances in fanfics, but that’s always the one that gets me because it often feels like people are placing Lee in Suna because they just don’t know what else to do. I have Lee in Suna a lot for the fics I write, but there is always a good reason for it. Make sure to have a good reason that fits in line with who Lee is and why he might be there. And tbh Gaara and Lee are friends! It’s totally okay for him to decide to make a stop in Suna on the way home from a mission to see his friend! 

Aside from that, I feel that the other biggest contrivance is that Gaara is always… immediately into Lee and it’s just… not realistic. Allow them to take time with their relationship, don’t just shove them together. Gaara taking one look at Lee and being like “yes, that one” is just… it’s not who Gaara is. Like it’s not always applicable if we’re talking about like AUs, but people all too quickly forget that Gaara underestimated Lee. He took one look at Lee, thought he was a weird, weak kid and dismissed him. Then promptly got his ass handed to him by Lee. Gaara did not take Lee seriously at first in canon, and it is heavily contrived when his first glimpse of Lee in an AU is a love at first sight kind of thing. 

Another note, a big thing that frustrates me is Gaara not having like any concept of things like sex, romance, etc. Like he’s not some shut in who’s never heard the word sex, and I’m deeply tired of seeing his “sexual awakening” because it’s always like really gross and lowkey homophobic because there’s always this sense that people want to make him asexual but they make him sex repulsed (as if that’s the only way to be ace) and don’t know how to do it without being like “eww sex with another man!?!?!” Like there are ways to write asexual characters without being gross, but you wouldn’t know it the way fandom writes so just be careful with that sort of thing. 

In general, sexual awakenings often feel contrived, but that’s just my onion.

6. Be Creative 

I know I said this already in number five, but it bears repeating. Be. Creative. I wish like… any of my fics were finished so I could like point to them as examples of the many and varied ways you can tell a GaaLee story, but trust me, I have like 20+ WIPs/fic ideas and each one of them is different from how they meet to how they fall in love so I know it’s possible. I think a lot of people get sort of bogged down by the lack of fic content and by the fact that everyone and their mother won’t shut up about that one fic from 10+ years ago. But I promise you can be original, creative, and groundbreaking. This fandom doesn’t exactly have a lot of ground to break, but you can still do it! Think outside the box! Don’t limit yourself to Lee going to Suna! Don’t limit yourself by making it love at first! Don’t sell yourself short by forgetting to take your time developing them, their story, their relationship! 

Think of something completely out of left field and then just fucking run with it! Figure out how to make it work for these characters, within this world! But go for it! Don’t be afraid to make mistakes! I promise you I have GaaLee fics that I wrote from 8 years ago that SUCKED. But it helped me learn how to write them! It helps me grow as a writer! So take a chance and be creative! 

7. The Journey 

One final note, the other thing that I have found that trips people up with writing–and this is honestly general advice, but I’ve noticed it a lot with GaaLee fics which is why I bring it up: The pacing. 

People are so in a hurry to write a GaaLee fic to give this fandom that’s so desperate for fic content something that they just… rush right through the story. Like I’m gonna be real with you, I don’t care that Gaara and Lee end up living happily ever after. I wanna know HOW they get there. I wanna know how they even get to that first kiss. I want the journey. The journey is the payoff, and I know I’ve pretty much been saying this the entire time but it’s just so important. The amount of times I’ll see a fic that’s like 12 chapters in but only has like 20k words… I’m like ???? what’s even happened? what’s even drawing me in? what’s compelling me to keep reading if you’re 12 chapters in but only have 20k words. 

And don’t misunderstand, you can say a lot with a small number of words, but if you’re telling me a story and you’ve got 12 chapters and only 20k written, then you’re pacing is off. Pacing is vital to executing a story well, and if you’re pacing is off then you’re either rushing through the journey or, quite simply, the journey isn’t there to begin with. Like it’s painfully obvious to me when a writer wants to skip all the messy in between bits and just get right to the shipping. And sure it’ll get you views and comments, but you’re missing out on the best part.

If the journey isn’t the pay off, then you’re not telling a story; and while this is general writing advice, it is so important to the integrity of this ship. They need a story. They need epics. They deserve epics. So stop thinking about that final kiss, and start thinking about what happens in the moments before that kiss. Think about the space between the kiss, not the kiss itself, because that is where the story is. The kiss is just ‘the end’. 

Anyways, I’m gonna wrap this up because it’s taken me… like three days to write this and I’m tired from work and moving and just everything lol I know this isn’t like super specific, but like I said, if you have specific questions feel free to ask on anon or message me privately! 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #312

“robert’s got a quick hand  /  he’ll look around the room, he won’t tell you his plan.”

Do you kiss your pets? Yes. Have you thought about whether or not you're gay? I actually have briefly questioned if I'm just purely lesbian due to how incredibly averse to simply seeing penises I am, but considering I'm still perfectly capable of being attracted to everything else, I'm obviously not. It's just this weird disgust I naturally have. Have you ever had gay thoughts for your best friend? Well I dated her, so like- Have you ever had an STD? No. Would you say you are addicted to texting or to the person you are texting? Nah, definitely not. I always enjoy texting Sara, but I'm not addicted to doing so. Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? Yes; I still live with my mom, so it'd be very hypocritical not to. Would you have to sleep with someone before marrying them? Nah. Sexual "talent" just doesn't matter very much to me, and besides, before or after marriage, you discover what you like together. Would it bother you if your bf/gf flirted with someone else? ???????????? yes????????????? Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? Oh hell yeah. I honestly really miss doing that with Jason. We were both gamers and would do that frequently. How much does intelligence turn you on? Not like, immensely, but being very smart is definitely attractive. Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? That shit's kinda creepy, imo. Then again, it could be smart for your safety, but idk, something about doing that seems invasive and just weird. I feel like you should learn things directly from their mouth. Could you date someone who had children from a previous relationship? I really don't think I could at this age, at least. I need to be more stable and a figure to look up to. I could probably be a stepmom to like, a teenager or something, but I'm not dating anyone with one of those at only 25. I would have to really, REALLY like the person to even consider dating them with a younger kid. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? Yeah, go for it. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? Yes, definitely. I think waiting too long can make this hard and an awkward change, though; this was the exact situation with Girt. I had a pretty big crush on him my freshman year before Jason, but we were just friends too long. He became my "brother." Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Both are fun. Do you enjoy risk? N O P E. How often do you go dancing/clubbing? Never. Not my jam. Do you meditate? No, but I'm considering trying it thanks to group therapy. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. Do you have a problem with racist jokes? Um, fuck yes I do. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? Yeah, like the soul. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? Lol no, I can't cook. Do you litter? No. Don't even fucking dare to in front of me. Do you have a career plan? Yes. Could you live with someone who was really messy? How messy? And would they listen if I asked them to clean up? Do you have any shameful fantasies? Yes. Is art important to you? Art is absoluely vital for my happiness in life. Do you believe in fate or destiny? Nope; you carve your own path. Have you ever called your friend a slut? Ha, jokingly. It's gone both ways. Doing nothing all day makes you feel...? That's me pretty much every day, and it makes me feel awful by the end of it. Do you shower everyday? No. It's bad for your skin and hair. Is work important to you? It clearly is when you consider how stressed I've been for years trying to find a job I can handle. Have you had cosmetic surgery? No, but I probably will have some things done if/hopefully when I lose the weight I want to. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? My past has proven that not always, no. What I really care about is whether or not they show the intention of getting somewhere, like working on themselves and having plans they're making baby steps towards. If the person is without any motivation to get somewhere in life, no, I can't date them. Could you date someone who does drugs? Absofuckinglutely not. Do you enjoy watching sports? Only dance. Are you a cat or a dog person? Cat, I think, but I love both. Should evolution be taught in schools? Yes, definitely. Separation of church and state, my friend. Are you kinky? I mean I can't say I'm unwilling to try some things that would be considered so, but my sexual experiences so far have been pretty vanilla, and I'm fine with that. Would you do a striptease for your partner? That'd be so fucking awkward lmao. Would you date someone who doesn't have a car? Yeah; again, I don't. It may be problematic if they never wanted to, especially with me being so afraid of driving, but idk. Do you enjoy dancing? If I wasn't so horribly out of shape. Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? Lol, wow. What year are we in again? Have you ever met someone in person you met online? Only Sara so far, but I do wanna meet a few others! Last person you kissed, are they into any type of sports? Which ones? No. Do you ever read your old surveys? No. They're really just a momentary distraction for me. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? Ginga Densetsu Weed was fantastic. I'm now anxiously awaiting Meerkat Manor to come on air again this year!! :') When writing stories, do you have trouble coming up with character names or do they come to you easily? I struggle with coming up with completely original names; I used to be good at it back in the day, now I feel like almost anything I come up with sounds stupid. Real words coming up for OCs that somehow fit them come easy for me, though. Did you ever call any teachers by their first name? Who? Yes, because some preferred it. Have you ever shoplifted, even just once? What did you take? Nope. Have you ever witnessed someone else shoplifting? Did you say something? I don't recall. Is your hair thick, thin, or somewhere in between? it's thick as hell. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh yes, I loved letting the harmless ones wander over my arms as a kid. Is there a YouTube channel whose videos you always watch? No. What a shocker when you think of Mark, I know, but I've kinda been drifting from enjoying let's plays, especially of random games I don't know or think will be good, so I don't force myself. Have you ever witnessed something burn down? Yes. Diagonal to my childhood house, down the road, there was a huge house fire once. Only the foundation of it is left today. Well, maybe they've rebuilt it, but they sure didn't for a long-ass time. Have you ever won a game of chess? Don't know how to play, so. Have you ever picked strawberries or apples? Strawberries, yes. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? No better than the average joe. Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? Three dogs, and my rat Tezzeret. Where on your body did you/would you like to get your first tattoo? I got mine on my right wrist. What’re some movies you love that people wouldn’t expect you to like? The Notebook surprises a lot of people. I adore that movie. Does your shower have a glass screen or a curtain? It's a curtain. What was the last pill you swallowed? I don't remember; I take a lot of meds in the morning. Where’s your dad from? Ohio. Other than yourself, who was the last person that took a picture of you? Whoever took the picture of my sister Misty and me hugging. What are you usually doing if you're up late at night? On the rare occasion I'm up late, I'm probably really into doing something in World of Warcraft at the time. I go through spells. Right now I'm barely playing it at all. What do you get when you go to the movies? Popcorn and a drink, always. Do/did you enjoy living with your parents? Yeah. If you were to write a story right now, what would it be about? I'm not interested in starting a new story. The continuous stories in RP are enough for me. If you were to paint something right now, what would it be? I'm unsure. I have a lot of art ideas I want to do, but idk what I'd do first, and besides, I prefer drawing over painting. Do you believe you have a calling? I don't believe in "callings." I believe in natural talents, but I don't feel there's some supernatural or purposeful tactic to it. If you could sing a song before an audience today, what one would it be? Oh god. If I had a choice, I wouldn't. If I didn't, I'd have to think more about this. Do you enjoy public speaking? Fuck no. What pet do you want to have? The pet I want most right now is a plains/western hognose, probably of the lavender morph. I adore those lil piggies. Who do you want to be in your life that is currently not? I go back-and-forth about Jason, even though I know it wouldn't be healthy for me for him to have any part in it. PTSD is a motherfucker. Who do you want to be out of your life that currently is in it? Nobody. What do you have to do to achieve your dream? Most likely for someone(s) with considerable influence or popularity in art to highlight photograph(s) of mine. It's why I enter competitions once in a blue moon if Mom's okay with paying the small fee; it's very, very seldom I even ask, though. I hate asking for things, especially non-necessities with our financial position. Are you ambitious? I think so. I'm determined as a motherfucker to be successful with photography, for one. Do you sell things online? Extremely rarely. Speaking of which, I keep forgetting to take pictures of my flute and guitar since I wanna try to get rid of them. I never played the guitar much, and my sentimental affection for my flute has long since faded, so I might as well make a bit of cash off them to go towards Venus' terrarium upgrade. Do you look the way you want to look? Hell no. Do you pray daily? I never do. Have you been through anything traumatic? Oh yes. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No. What is a medical condition you used to have but don't anymore? I had this very weird spell of frequent vertigo that kinda just... vanished. Do you look your age? I suppose I do. What has made you itch the most? Shaving my legs I guess, considering I would scratch them so badly it left me with permanent scars. Is there anything you're avoiding? If so, what? Probably. Well enough that I can't even think of it right now, haha. What quality do you admire most in others? Empathy. Do you believe that things will get better? Yes. I hope. Have you ever seen a double rainbow? I have. How old were you when you started swearing? I was in the 7th grade. I don't know the actual age group for that. Do you have any Indian in your blood? No. What is your favorite sunset color? Pink. Have you ever had dreadlocks? No. Have you ever wondered if your house was haunted? Two houses ago, yes. Does the idea of having servants bother you? Yes? Do you like crab? NOOOOOO NO NO. It's mushy and just ew. What song gives you chills? Hell, most music I listen to can. I get chills from music very, very easily, and I'd say either "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade or Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" cover does it the best, but I could very well be forgetting one. Ah, Bad Wolves' cover of "Zombie" is another very high contender, especially knowing the story behind it with how the original singer was supposed to write it with them, but the day of scheduled recording, she died. What color is your favorite hoodie? It's mostly gray, just with a Pikachu graphic on it. Do you have a string of lights in your room? No, but I've always thought those were really pretty. If you were a writer, would you have a pen name or use your real name? My real name. What is your friend's cat's name? Sara has a cat named Winter. Did you ignore the last Facebook post that bothered you, or did you comment? Probably rolled my eyes and scrolled by just to avoid conflict. I normally have to be HEATED to start something. If you were a famous singer, what would you want your hit song to be about? Peace, most likely. Do you have a blog? No. Do you think you are good at writing poetry? I think so, but it takes more thinking than it used to. Do you take gummy vitamins? No, but I wish I took vitamins. Would probably do me some good. If you could do research right now for an essay, what topic would you choose to write about? Hm. I'm always up for arguing for LGBT rights. There's a good handful of topics I'd enjoy writing about, though. Have you ever been tempted to commit a crime? Well, I've pirated things before, so... I kinda crossed that threshold. Other than that, no, not to my memory. Have you ever started writing a suicide letter? I wrote one and am forever humiliated by it. ...and then realized you wanted to live? No, I OD'd afterwards. Well wait... I was kinda on the line I guess, considering once I did it, I panicked and told Mom. If you have a class ring, what color is the stone? I didn't get one. Do you like apple cider hot or cold? I can't remember the last time I had either. Do you use window clings (stickers for your window)? No. Have you ever found a secret compartment? I don't remember ever finding one anywhere. Do you read horror stories? Sometimes RP pretty much turns into horror stories, haha. Do you ever comfort eat? I am VERY bad at that. Do you have your wedding planned in your head already? No, only skeletal basics of it. Does sunlight make you happier? Yes. This is a scientific fact. Do you feel depressed in the winter? No. What's your favorite shade of green? Like a pastel mint color. What channel is your TV usually on? Mom always has Netflix or Hulu on, I think. Do you drive with the windows down or the air on? I strongly prefer AC. How many pairs of jeans do you have? Zero. Do you sleep with a comforter or quilt? A comforter. Who is your favorite American president? I don't know nearly enough about any of 'em to make a fair judgment. Do you jump right in a pool or do you get in slowly? Whew, my jumping in the pool days are long over. Do you use one swimsuit for the summer or do you have many? I just have a single black one-piece. Do you use the bumpers when you bowl? Nah. Sorta affects the fun for me since it's less reason to focus. Do you put eyeliner on the top, bottom, or all around your eyes? All around. Will you refuse to listen to music if you find the lyrics degrading? Depends on how degrading, but usually, it doesn't play a part in deciding if I like the song itself or not. Can you do a cartwheel? I never even tried; I was always too afraid of breaking my neck. Do you have tornadoes where you live? Occasionally, but they're not a big thing here. What's your favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. What's the most expensive crafts tool that you own? Miss Tobey got me a big pack of Prismacolor pencils one year that I really cherish. Have you ever woven baskets of any kind (wicker, paper, cardboard etc.)? No. What's the most exotic spice in your spice rack? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have a favorite television host? Steve Harvey is The Shit. What's something you're opinionated and very vocal about? LGBTQ+ rights and the pro-choice ideology lead the bunch. The lack of morality in hunting for sport, too. What's something you regularly order online? Nothing regularly. Do you like elevators? No; quite the opposite, actually. When you're angry, does it ever get physical? Absolutely not. What's the weirdest video YouTube has suggested to you? I don't really know. I'm certain I've seen some wild suggestions, though, given just how much of a heavy user I am of YT. Do you like the smell of tar? Ugh, no. Never understood that. Do you have any flags on display? If so, what flag(s)? I'd like a rainbow flag for my room to hang somewhere.

[daughterofthewest]

This is my own original artwork ( originally posted sideways on my old account the-widows-mite) created in 2014. The original unedited drawing is on the left, same thing with an added tonal filter on my iPhone camera  used to make it a little darker for better visibility of the details on the  right. This piece was done as therapy art while I was laid up recovering from major surgery (sans pain medication because I can't tolerate most of it due to allergies) and unable to speak or move anything but my right hand for an entire week. It came about because the nurses in the recovery room had given me a pencil and paper to communicate/write notes with and instead for the first time in a very long time I started doodling/drawing. The first thing to crawl out of my brain through the pencil was a cute little dragon, which my nurse or one of the doctors asked to keep and I assented to the request so I don't have pictures of it to share unfortunately; this crazy mess was the second.

It was rendered in regular #2 pencil on a piece of 8x11 printer paper that the hospital staff could not use because it had a small wrinkle in it. I saw this and thought to myself, this looks like fun, I think I'll just follow this line and see where it takes me. This drawing is the result of that experience and exercise ... I think I was still under the effects of the anesthesia because it too is whatever crawled out of my brain through the pencil at that time. I had no artistic training whatsoever and  although I had enjoyed drawing as a child and on a few occasions since then when the mood struck when I was younger, had not picked up a pencil to draw in a great many years (for various reasons) at that juncture in my life. 

My doctors were all astounded but I myself no less so- I really hadn't known I could do that. It was my wonderful surgeons and neuro docs who saw this and other things that came after it when someone brought me some watercolor paints and more paper as well, who first told me I had a remarkable gift that I should share- encouraging me enough to keep going and doing art...

My children tell me now that they had always thought of me as an artist because after their father died when they were little I would gather them about me to read to and laugh and talk with and they would ask me to draw something for them and we would make up a story about whatever silly thing I then drew together. Everyone had a good time doing this and didn’t take it too seriously - especially me. I did not think of myself as an artist however or a writer and never wrote any of those stories down and saved few of those particular drawings, (though now I kind of wish I had), because my college education and training and a lifetime of experience was in something else - other disciplines not entirely disparate from Art  but rigorous enough that I did not have any time for or real interest in painting or drawing during those years but which my illness kept me from being able to continue with it at the time I had to have that particular surgery and has done since. 

I have tried to take their kind advice and I now at least have real artists’ materials thanks in part to the generosity of some very supportive family and friends, my ArtSnacks subscription and the recent opening of Art supply stores in the area where I reside that did not exist for most of the 20-30 years before that that I have lived here. 

The continued praise and encouragement I have received from others, (including a few local successful exhibiting professional artists) who have seen my artwork since has been a blessing that allowed me to get past my own feelings of inadequacy and shyness about sharing what I do with others rather than keeping it to myself because I always felt (as noted) that my artwork such as it was/is is just for me- that it was/is my therapy and my happy place to go for relief in times of great stress or pain when I am physically or otherwise unable to do anything else or in some cases for the entertainment of my own children. 

I have not done as much of it since then as I would have liked due to various circumstances and limitations- but I do what I can when I can.. Yet still 3 years later I don't/can’t do this kind of intensely wrought drawings all the time on demand (as much as I wish I could) and I still don’t have any actual training in art that would give me the skills I need to fully flesh my ideas out on paper. I still just draw or paint raw whatever crawls out of my brain through the pencil or paintbrush and let it take me wherever it will. 

I wonder: Is that Ok? Does it mean I’m not a real artist or does it mean I truly am one after all? IDK. I’ve had fellow students who were Juniors in the Art Program at my old university who told me when they saw my work that they still couldn’t do anything quite like it. I’m not sure I believe them but...

I have always loved golden age illustration by the likes of Arthur Rackham and Edmund Dulac, Charles Robinson and their ilk, Jessie Wilcox Smith and Howard Pyle- though my some of my absolute favorite’s were his students, N.C. Wyeth and Joan Walsh Anglund. Of course Irene Haas and Holling C. Holling are in a class by themselves and I loved their work too. 

So I think sometimes I would really love to write and illustrate children’s books  as well but I have no idea how one goes about that or gets into that business without the proper education and training specific to the field and I would not want demands put on me for deadlines by a publisher that would interfere with my process or that I could not meet if I were too ill to work for a time again. I am very much about doing things my own way in my own time. 

Yet I do have some ideas for these that I’ve discussed with my very bookish daughter who is currently following her own path to a career in teaching and librarianship, hoping to eventually get into a Ph.D program in Comparative Lit,  and wok in the translation, editing and publishing of books and maybe become a writer herself ( she has so many cute story ideas y’all)  all the time and she tells me she thinks I’d be great at it- that I am a born illustrator and story teller. 

Others who know me and have seen more of my work have said the same. Everyone keeps telling me to keep creating and just put my work out there. Admittedly, that prospect  is very daunting and hard for me as I am naturally a very private and shy person in general but I am trying. 

Honestly, I am a bit old to be starting over but I must do so to keep living and fighting- not giving in to my illness. In that regard, I am so very grateful for the Tumblr community which gives me (and so many very talented others of all ages from all walks of life that I have been so pleased to find here) a safe place to dip my toes in the water and test it before I take a dive off the deep end into that world. Thanks for being here and taking this new journey with me. Peace.