#idk if someone has already mentioned this but i was screaming when i saw it

[tinycowboybro]

me when the slippers the other caretaker gave Day had the toes exposed and it defeats the whole purpose of the slippers because Mhok gave Day the fish slippers so he could protect himself from stubbing his toe on the corner and it just shows how much detail Mhok took into consideration with Day, and of course the new caretaker didn’t have malicious intent but it shows how no one could ever be the same in that regard as Mhok because Mhok Loves Day and put that love into everything he did to care for him

[brendaareiss]

CAL AND ANDRE HEADCANONS! Finally! I feel like there's some I have already said b4, but idk. Enjoy!

⚠️Triggers⚠️: SA, SH

- Andre furrowed his brows when he was concentrated, Cal poked his tongue out

- Andre was actually a great student. That's why most of the people didn't like him either, whether being because of envy or because they saw him as a nerd and annoying. But bro had +A on everything

- Cal on the other hand, was pathetic at studies. His best ever grade was a C

- They didn't actually hold hands most of the time, just intertwine pinkies unconsciously

-Cal always followed andre everywhere. It was not even a conscious act.

- They both talked shit abt their siblings

- Andre=bpd + psicopathy

- Cal= adhd + depression (duh).

- Andre paid attention on the smallest details and had rlly good memory. Like, something stupid Cal said years ago, andre remembered it like it was yesterday. Or he knew what things Cal liked or not, even if Cal hasn't told him, he knew it because he paid attention to what Cal was doing

- Cal was a chronic nail biter. Rachel tried putting nail polish on him to make it better, because Cal reached the point where his whole finger was covered in blood

-Cal has had many addictions in his life. It was all because his depression, he couldn't get happiness (dopamine) in anything in his life so he tried to get it somewhere else. That's why he started doing weed at a young age, well, until the possession charge. After that, he went straight to cutting. It wasn't as good as to get high, but at least it worked and wasn't illegal. He used to get blackout drunk too, trying to get dopamine from where he could.

- U can't tell me they didn't explore each other's bodies. Ofc they did (I like to think they would refer to that as "favors"), but they never rlly knew what the fuck they were. Were they boyfriends? Were they just friends with benefits? That's actually where the term "the army of two" appeared, trying to give what they had a tag or a "name". But they knew rlly well they weren't just friends. They knew each other too much, they were too similar and too connected to be just friends.

- Cal was sa'd from when he was 7 years old until he was 14 by his cousin, who was 8 years older than him. He never told anything to anyone, not even Andre, but he eventually figured it out. He was paranoid and very protective with his siblings (even though he didn't like them, it doesn't mean that they weren't siblings, Cal cared for them a lot), making sure his cousin NEVER approached them. And if someone older talked to them he would get rlly anxious and freaked out.

- Andre always cared too much about Cal. He knew the state of Cal's mental health and physical health (anemic ass) so he always was there for him. And I like to think not only andre, but his family too. Feeding him until Cal couldn't physically bring the fork to his mouth (I'm sure Andre's mom would be the one to say: "Cal, you have to eat more! You're so thin!")

- Andre was not always seen with the Gabriel's (because Cal's sister HATES andre with all her guts) but Calvin was ALWAYS seen with the kriegman's. Andre's dad always knew that when he mentioned "family vacation/trip", Cal was tagging along.

-Cal learned to stay calm when Andre had his bpd splits (extreme anger most of the time). There was a time when he actually felt rlly bad when Andre said what things to him or just screamed and pushed him around, but as time passed, he learned it was just another normal thing on Andre. That's why in the car scene, he at first didn't take him seriously, he then shut the fuck up and tried to get out of the situation as quickly as he could afterwards.

- Andre never really knew what the fuck was wrong with him. He wasn't like Cal, he didn't get diagnosed with shit and didn't even went to a psychologist. He thought he was just really aggressive and nothing more.

- Andre was low-key an alcoholic. He never got blackout drunk though

- The only thing Andre didn't clean, was his car. Maybe once in a month (or a week if there where a lot of empty beer cans in the back seats)

- Cal rlly liked sour candies.

- Andre slept A LOT.

- idk if I said this b4 but Andre's hand was always on Cal's thigh while he drove

- most of their hangouts were sleepovers. They seriously couldn't live without each other

- OF COURSE the reason why andre didn't like Rachel it's because he was EXTREMELY jealous of her. He felt like she was taking Cal away from him. He also felt that she talked shit about Cal when he wasn't there. The night Cal ditched Rachel for him, Andre's ego was 100% fueled

- Andre had migraines. Yeah. He didn't throw up though

- Following, andre NEVER puked. Like, he probably just threw up 1 time in his life. Cal on the other hand, every time he got sick, he vomited.

-Cal ALWAYS forgot his things EVERYWHERE. His parents didn't even make him his own keys, because they knew Cal would probably lose them too.

- As kids, Cal adored sharks and Andre lions and bears. (Cal adored sharks all his life though)

- Andre's grandparents who lived in Germany, had a bigass house with a garden. They had ALSO, a bigass dog. Of course Andre as a kid spent most of the time in the garden, playing with his brother and the dog.

- The only thing that made Andre calm down when he was angry, was changing the situation, making him forget about it, talking about another thing or doing another thing that isn't related to the reason he's mad. Distract him and make him forget why he was mad in the first place.

[thedevilssinner]

Elven soulmates - Astarion x Elf!Tav - Headcanon

I listened to one song and for some reason it screamed Astarion x Tav at me. This man is really ruining my life 😅

Anyway… the song was ‘IDK you yet’ and I just thought about the two of them being soulmates or something like that and then I found a thread on https://www.enworld.org about elven relationships and someone mentioned soulmates which got me searching and I found this page https://www.realmshelps.net/charbuild/races/elf/leaf.shtml where is mentioned that elves can find someone they call their thiramin which should mean soulmate in elvish language. 

Here’s the part from the https://www.realmshelps.net :

Upon reaching adulthood, elves continue their sexual explorations. Eventually, though, each discovers that his heart has developed a capacity for lasting and exclusive love. Like most other important things in their lives, elves describe this in mystical terms. They believe that a person's spiritual progress is unknowingly intertwined with that of another. This soulmate is called a thiramin. Upon meeting his thiramin, an elf's heart fills with passion and certainty. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the other party is felled by the same feeling of immediate and eternal devotion. (Though rare, an unrequited feeling of thiramin is always disastrous, bringing centuries of wrenching heartbreak. Sufferers often commit suicide or succumb to the temptations of evil.) Elves almost always feel thiramin for people they meet for the first time: In other words, visitors from other communities. Intermarriage between communities strengthens the bonds of communication between settlements, allowing them to quickly band together against the armies of evil that march across the land.

Now… You can imagine what that did to me, when I thought about the idea of Elf Tav knowing Astarion before he was turned into a vampire so… here’s some headcanons. Suffer with me.

Tav and Astarion met in Baldur's gate. Tav being new to the city. Young elf exploring the world outside their home.

Maybe they met in an art gallery or a tavern or some other place… that’s up to you, but when their eyes met, they immediately knew the other one was their thiramin. Heart beating wildly as they smile at each other.

They start dating, of course. Trying to get to know each other and spend as much time together as possible. 

I think that Tav would call Astarion their star… or maybe even ‘my starry night’

Astarion would call them ‘my moon’ (idk, I just love the idea of them using moon and stars as pet names)

Or… inspired by Game of Thrones - Astarion would call Tav ‘my sun and stars' while Tav would call him ‘the moon of my life’

Maybe they dated for a year or two, thinking about buying a house together.

But then Astarion was beaten ‘to death’ by the Gurs.

Tav could immediately tell that something was terribly wrong. The connection they felt with Astarion severing and sharp pain piercing through their heart. Panicked, they tried to find Astarion, going to his home but they already came too late.

Their blood turned into ice when they saw the mercenaries from the Flaming Fist already around his home. Seeing them carrying an awfully pale and beaten body of Astarion. (I don't remember if it was mentioned if Astarion lived in a Lower or Upper city before he was turned, so I chose a Lower city 🤷🏻‍♀️) (Also, not sure how and where exactly were he turned so I hope this is fine)

After a few days, Tav still couldn’t comprehend what truly happened. They felt just… empty. As if every color, every piece of happiness was ripped away from their soul. Not even able to visit Astarion’s grave because of that.

When Tav's family found out, they came to them, taking them to their homeland, because they knew how bad losing your soulmate could end for an elf. Tav fell into a deep grief and depression that lasted almost 100 years, doing some questionable things here and there until they started to function again.

On the other side - Astarion was beaten by Gurs but his final death came from Cazador, the change itself working just like if he truly died. His connection to Tav is severed and the shock of his change into a vampire erases all memory of them from his mind.

And then the 200 years of torture begin. Astarion doing anything he could and needed to do for survival. Flirting and luring victims to Cazador. He was good at it, great even, but something always felt wrong. 

Well, everything he did for Cazador was wrong, but touching another person, sleeping with them, and whispering words of love to them seemed wrong for another reason he couldn't understand. It was as if his subconscious was always trying to tell him something, but he couldn't say what.

There was just always something wrong with the victims. Wrong eye color, wrong tone of voice or even their pet names they sometimes used for him. 

Is he missing something? Someone? Longing for the embrace of a specific person that is unknown to him.

He always blamed his vampirism for this feeling. Thinking that’s just how it is. The feeling of wrongness and emptiness residing in him for the 200 years of his unlife.

Until the Mind Flayers and Nautiloid.

But back to Tav:

After a hundred years of grief, Tav finally started to get better. Diving into learning the profession/class they have chosen. Trying to enjoy life as much as they could, but the emptiness never fully disappeared. As if part of their soul was still gone.

They even tried to date, pressured by their family to at least try, but when their new partner tried to kiss them… they just couldn’t do it, dull pain spreading through their body and guilt flooding their mind. They immediately break up with the person and decide never to find a partner again.

But apart from that, they were relatively happy. Another 100 years slowly drifting away, the memories of Astarion remaining, if a little faded.

Until the Mind Flayers and Nautiloid.

Game plot:

Tav was walking with Shadowheart and Gale when they heard someone call for help.

Of course, they immediately headed for the voice, trying to help all the survivors of the crashed ship.

But when they finally came to the person they heard, the blood ran cold in their veins, the weapon they held falling from their grasp. It was like seeing him for the first time in their life but at the same time not… Astarion.

They notice that he looks different. His eyes are the wrong color and he’s so pale… but it’s him. They know it is because their soul sang when their eyes locked… but how? 

“Hurry, I’ve got one of those bran things…” Astarion's voice trailed off as he fixed his eyes on Tav and gasped as an unfamiliar sensation filled his body. It was as if everything finally clicked and his mind was flooded with memories he didn't know he had.

That's how far I've come with this idea. I'm not sure how it would have gone on, but I imagine it would have taken a while for Tav and Astarion to become partners again. Both mourning the years they could have spent together if it weren't for Cazador. Tav learning to love the new Astarion he has become, because he was different from the elf they knew before and Astarion learning to love again overall.

[scarawiki]

idk how this app works help

scaramouche x gn!reader , idk the word count 😬

first one shot ever prbly ooc scara i'm not sure how to write him very well :( most of it is rly self indulgent for comfort im going thru it i fear lawl. not beta read either i almost never write pls be nice 🤕🙏🙏 excuse any grammar or spelling errors

cw: mentions of poor eating habits due to depression & anxiety , mental health stuff , yada yada nothing super explicit

divider creds: @rookthornesartistry

You laid still in your bed that you shared with your partner Scaramouche, while he was out and about finding ingredients for dinner.

Since he left, you were once again alone with your thoughts. Constantly ruminating on the past and picking apart everything. Your mind had kept screaming at you, and you couldn't calm it regardless of what you tried. You were left feeling even more hopeless than before.

Scaramouche had picked up on your "odd" behaviors lately, but you simply brushed it off and just told him,

"I'm probably coming down with something. The weather is changing, don't worry about it too much."

You didn't want to burden him with your silly problems, right? Knowing his past, you didn't want to add more to the mix. You were sure you could deal with it on your own.

Following that afternoon, you sobbed. You were so dizzy and your head was pounding, wishing the world had swallowed you whole already. You felt that Scaramouche deserved someone better than your pathetic self. You didn't understand why you couldn't just feel happy. Why was it so hard? Why can't you get out of bed? Why can't you wake up in the mornings?

You heard the front door opening, and you quickly wiped away your remaining tears that rolled down your face, and tried to get comfortable again. Your whole body ached and you just wanted it all to end.

"(Y/N)? I'm home. I managed to find a few things for later tonight. I had to bargain a lot though, food is getting expensive these days."

Scaramouche called out from the living room, setting down everything on the counter. After no answer, he became curious and knocked on the bedroom door.

"Hey? Don't tell me you're still asleep, it's almost 6 PM."

He let out a small sigh after more silence followed, and then opened the door. He saw you were burrowed under the blankets, and came to sit down on the edge of the bed. He pulled the covers back to reveal your tear-stained face, and a wave of concern came over him.

Scaramouche was never particularly good at comforting others, or feelings in general. He was never shown gentleness and compassion in his 500 years of living, before he met you.

"Who did it?"

Scaramouche asked, immediately jumping to the conclusion that someone had caused you harm to hurt this badly.

"No one," you managed to whisper out. "It's really nothing. Don't waste your time on me."

He was slightly taken aback by your dismissive behavior, but decided to pry further. Scaramouche wouldn't know how to deal with himself if anything ever happened to you.

"Okay... well, you haven't been eating, and last time I checked, you aren't a puppet. You've been sleeping in until dinner time for the past few days. Out with it."

He sounded demanding, but soon mentally scolded himself for his tone with you when he saw the vulnerability in your expression.

"I just don't know what to do anymore... I feel so scared and exhausted all the time, I can hardly wake up in the mornings, and food doesn't bring me joy anymore. I can't even remember the last time I felt okay. I didn't want to bother you because I didn't think it was that bad, to be honest. I'm sorry for keeping it from you, Scaramouche. I swear it has nothing to do with you."

Your vision blurred as you spoke, and you could feel your throat closing up. You didn't know how much more you could handle of this constant misery.

Scaramouche stayed silent for a few moments, taking in everything you had told him. You had always seemed so bubbly and excited around him, and when he saw you completely falling apart in front of him for the first time, he felt confused.

"...How long has this been really going on?"

He inquired, and his eyes had a softer look in them.

"A few years, it comes and goes but it doesn't seem like it'll ever get better. I'm tired of suffering, Scaramouche. I want to enjoy life again and look forward to the future. Instead, I dread the next days to come."

You responded, avoiding eye contact and fidgeted with your hands. When Scaramouche took notice of this, he gently grabbed your hands and set them in his lap.

"I'll be blunt, I'm still figuring how these whole "emotions" work. But, I do see that you aren't yourself right now. Yes, you can be a little irritating at times, but I wouldn't be with you if I didn't... love you."

Scaramouche felt hesitant to say those last words, but at the same time it felt right. He then continues,

"It would be pointless to be in a relationship with someone if you weren't upfront with them, but I can see how you might have felt like a bother. I promise that you will never be a burden to me, and I hope you know that I would rather die than ever lay a finger on you, or hurt you any other way. You're one of the first few people to show me how to love and broke through my tough exterior. You never left me during my hard times, and I'm sure as hell not leaving you."

Scaramouche took a deep breath, and looked down at his lap to give your hands a slight squeeze.

"I will do everything in my power to help you feel better. I want to see to see you happy. I want to see that smile on your face again. But, you have to work with me, alright?"

He looks back up and lifts one of his hands to gently grab your chin to face him.

You reluctantly look into his eyes, and slowly nod.

"Okay, I'll try... Thank you."

You replied slowly, drained of any remaining energy you had left. Scaramouche leaned down to remove some of your hair out of the way, and placed a delicate kiss on your forehead. He came back up and caressed your cheek, and sighed softly.

"I'm not letting you suffer alone. Ever."

[picklebunbun]

Hi, I saw you also do the happy tree friend character and I have a request about that if you don't mind, a Flippy/Fliqpy x sibling reader (platonic of course!) who talks in their sleep please ? Thank you if you doing it

Flippy/Fliqpy + sibling!gn! reader who talks in their sleep hcs

——————༻⁂✬♫✬⁂༺——————

hc or oneshot/series?: headcannons

gn reader, you/yours and gn pronouns

genre: fluff, could be a bit angsty if you’re an emotional person, some crack (the drug-)

romantic/platonic?: platonic

cw: mentions of violence/gore (but it’s flipqy too so what’d you expect)

(angel’s note🪽: I actually love this request, I luvvv platonic stories omg and htf so hehehehhe 🤭 we are leaving the scenerio at the end)

~~~

flippy hc:

he kind of gets it, usually sleep talking is due to stress but wow it really freaks him out

sometimes he hears you talk about your plan to destruct the whole world

“I’m going to bomb the U.N mimimimi💤💤😴“ “WHAT THE FU-“

but whenever he asks about it the next morning you always give him this poker face, insinuating that you had no idea you were talking about kill!ng political figures

it usually makes him stay awake at night, the things you talk about are freaky (has this sneaking suspicion that you might kill him- JKJKJK)

always gives you a glass of warm milk, it actually helps, you still sleep talk don’t get me wrong, but it’s less violent

he also bear hugs you (not intended to be a pun) while you sleep, you get very overheated

since he has random nightmares and wakes up at night, he always finds your voice comforting, just a nice reminder that you’re still there

flipqy hc:

just like flippy, he finds comfort in your voice since it’s an indicator that you’re still there. It helps him relax

he’ll accidentally claw your arms when he hugs you, you find some cuts the next morning (flippy had no idea it happens)

whenever you talk in the middle of the night, he screams, this man was TERRIFIED. He hid you in the bathroom because he thought someone was in the house

turns out it was just his sibling talking

he thought that you were possessed by something for a while, kept his distance but he still loved you dw

still shocked about what you say though

scenario:

italics: thinking, bold: yelling

Flippy was in the kitchen making you hot milk, he started doing this a couple of weeks ago. It’s actually helped, not with sleep talking but just calming the “weirdness” of it,

“here!”

Flippy gave you a sweet hot milk drink with a pinch of cinnamon

“thanks..”

you were already feeling sleepy before and the drink endorsed it even more. Flippy patted your head

“feeling sleepy yet?”

“yeah..”

Flippy grabbed your hand and guided you to the bed, he wrapped you around in a blanket making you nice and comfy. The lights turned off, and Flippy climbed into bed, hugging you tightly

-timeskip-

Flippy- or err.. Flipqy sat up panting, he was all sweaty, he had just gotten a nightmare. He looks at you and hears your voice “mm.. I never wanted the..mbbmm” or mumbles of your favorite animal in your dreams made him calmer.

Flipqy sighed, he was still very much stressed so he hugged you tightly while trying to ease his sorrow. He clawed your arms, but since you were so deep in REM, you didn’t really feel anything. Whatever, just sleep for now! ♡︎

(Idk if this was pretty short but if it is I’m sorryy I was in a bit of a rush (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞)

~~~

[idontplaytrack]

Rejanis angst? Breakup?

With “party favor” by Billie Eilish as like inspo? Idk lol

✧ Party favor

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: angst, coarse language, some descriptions of smut, self-harm, implied eating disorders & some mentions

"It's not you, it's me and all that other bullshit You know that's bullshit, don't you, babe? I'm not your party favor."

"Oh, my God. I am sick of you being-"

"Oh, are you, now? You're sick of me? Is that what your attitude lately meant?"

"You're not letting me finish my sentences."

Regina responded through gritted teeth.

"Like what you want to say would be any better." Janis scoffed.

“As I was saying,” Regina continues, “I am sick of you being so paranoid! What the fuck, honestly.”

“What the fuck is right.” Janis lets out a dry chuckle, “What the fuck is my life right now? What the fuck kind of life have I been living?”

“I told you, you need to start taking care of yourself, otherwise—”

“What, Regina, what?” Janis snapped, “You’re gonna force feed me? Commit me? You’re the last person that should be telling me what to do. All those things already happened. You really—”

“I’m breaking up with you.”

“Fuck you.” Janis spat, “I was there for you in the hospital when they took you there against your will. I visited you when no one else did, all while trying to make it through college. And now you’re just going to do this? You know what? I hear you, just leave. We don’t have to see each other ever again, anywhere. Fucking leave! Why are you still standing there? You left me once, I’m very sure you’ll have no problem at all doing that again.”

“I told you, Alex was a one-night stand.” Regina sighs.

“No.” Janis answered, “No. I’ve had enough of pain from you, I am not setting myself up for a round three. I don’t want anything! To do with you ever again. I am who I am because of you! You don’t get to shove that excuse in my face when you cheated on me.”

“I was drunk!”

“So drunk you could forget your girlfriend of a whole year? So drunk that you forgot someone you saw at least twice a week? I travelled from here to Connecticut for you without fail. The least you could do is be honest with me.”

Regina trembled in shock seeing and hearing Janis screaming like that. But then a feeling of sadness, and anger and guilt all washed over her at once. But, the blonde turned and faced the front door, swallowing the painful lump in her throat. But she still doesn’t leave somehow. 

“Even after such a clear mistake, you still have to be right. I saw you that night in that bar in Queens. I know how you’re like when you’re drunk. You weren’t drunk that night — so don’t bother. I am not someone you can just use and toss. I am not someone you can call just because you need me but when I needed you, you couldn’t do the same for me. You always make up excuses! When have you been honest with me since the name-calling started? A leopard never changes its spots, Gina. I really should’ve known better, you are a motherfucking bitch that deserves nothing for everyone you’ve hurt and treated like collateral damage along the way. Go fuck yourself.” 

————

“You lit her backpack on fire?!” Mrs. ‘Imi’ike screamed at Janis. 

“She was making fun of me! She’s been making fun of me for months! So has the rest of the school, Mom!”

“So, someone calls you a name, you take a Bunsen burner and torched someone’s bag?”

“A name?” Janis scoffed, “She called me an obsessed lesbian. She outed me, she humiliated me. She made my life hell.”

“You should not have done that.” 

“Sandra.” Her dad interjected, “No. Janis wouldn’t have done something like that for no good reason.”

“We raised you better than this.”

“You raised me to stand up for myself. I’ve been nothing but tolerant of all sorts of nasty names and insults thrown in my face. I couldn’t take it anymore, I cannot face anyone in that school anymore. I’m done.”

“Ben, she committed a violent act.” Sandra turned to face her husband.

“Do you hear what she’s been saying, Sandra? Our daughter was bullied for months and we had no clue. We failed to protect her, we failed to help her. This isn’t her fault.”

~~~~~

She had the blade in her hand, her eyes closely looking at it, then her wrist. Her hand was shaking, she was terrified. But her fear of her ex-best friend overpowered the fear of her own actions. The metal slides across her tender skin, bright red droplets trickled out from the cut. Janis took a sharp inhale, chewing on her lower lip to keep from making any noise. In that moment, the noise in her head was silenced and replaced by white hot searing pain from the self-inflicted injury. It worked, she wasn’t thinking about the names, about the snickering, about Regina. But actual physical pain that she could control. 

~~~~~

“We can’t afford to homeschool you, Janis. We have to work.” Ben apologised.

“I know.” Janis fiddled with her thumbs as a force of habit.

“Go grab something to eat then we’ll be on your way to your therapy session.” Ben nudged.

“Okay.” Janis nodded, feeling somewhat defeated. She knew her parents were doing the best they could, but just maybe…her Mom was still just a little mad and would rather be at work than be at home with her. Well, her Dad’s been the only one taking her to and fro therapy and home— Janis had been kicked out of school for the remainder of the year. 

This incident strained the mother and daughter’s relationship but it was almost inevitable. That’s just how Sandra’s been like for as long as she could remember. She wasn’t too flexible. Or open-minded. 

Janis had been going to therapy for three weeks now. That meant six sessions. And she’s cried every time. It was liberating, helpful but also left her a little tired. And a little headache. So that annoyed her a bit but she felt somewhat better and was making progress. 

“Janis, I’ll see you Tuesday.” 

“See you, Joan.” Janis gave the older woman a tight-lipped smile as she chewed on her dry lips, leaving the dimly lit office. 

“Tuesday.” Joan reminded.

“I’ll be here.” Janis answered. 

Pushing the creaky metal door, Janis steps out onto the front steps of the building, the summer heat torching her skin. She squints to be able to see clearly, the sun overhead hurting her eyes. Janis then sees her Dad driving up to the pickup point in the family car. Janis swiftly skipped down the steps and got into the vehicle, wanting to escape the sweltering heat. 

“Hi, ladybug.” Ben smiled, “Do you wanna go for some froyo?”

“Maybe after the next session.” Janis smiled back apologetically, sniffling, “Today’s session really took it out of me. I kinda just want to go home and nap.”

“Yeah, of course.” He nodded in understanding as he began their drive home. 

They got home, Janis took a shower and took a nap. And while Sandra was at work, Ben took the time to make the family dinner tonight. He’d already taken the day off work to keep Janis company after all.

~~~~~

Ben dropped Janis and Damian off at the mall for a movie and a lunch at the food court. The pair hadn’t seen each other in awhile, since Janis had to get used to therapy and being medicated. Nearing the end of summer, everything started to calm down, gaining a new sense of normalcy. 

Just like always, Damian cracked her up. Made her laugh until her stomach hurt. Something she’d missed so much since what happened with Regina. 

“So no homeschool?”

“One of them has to work at least. Dad’s job pays more so my mom wants him to keep at it but my mom’s…my mom. She doesn’t think mental health is a thing. So even though I have the therapist’s memos and shit, she doesn’t want to accept it.” 

“It’ll be okay. I’ll catch you up, the school will know too. I’ll make sure they do.” Damian assured. 

“Thanks, Damian.”  Janis genuinely smiled as she held her milkshake straw between two fingers and gave it a stir.

“Hey, I got your back, okay. You know that. Everyday, since two thousand and nine.”

~~~~~

Janis was doing so well, she really, really was. Until she wasn’t. Two weeks before the new school year started, Janis ran into Regina and Karen at a bookstore. A bookstore out of all places. The blonde sneered at Janis, all while her dad was barely five feet away. The guy definitely saw it and shot the duo a warning glare. The tall blonde only scoffed and smirked, tossed her hair then continued browsing. But not before she purposely walked closer to Janis to try and shove her out of the way. Even an idiot could see that there was a huge space between them at first. “That is enough. What you did to my daughter is unacceptable.”

“Aw, look. Daddy’s little girl needs her daddy to protect her, fight her battles for her.” Regina laughed.

“Let’s go, Daddy.” Janis tugged on his arm. He quickly took her and left without buying anything even though he’d promised Janis a new storybook for all the progress she’s made recently. 

“Ignore her, hm? How about a donut?” 

“No, thanks.” Janis declined.

“A smoothie?” Ben asked hopefully. 

She says no to that, too but they continued their way around the mall for awhile. Janis now knew better than to focus on what put her in a bad mood. “Daddy, maybe we could get some dinner before we go home.” Janis suggested, “Mom’s not in town anyway.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ben smiled, relieved, “What do you feel like having for dinner?” 

The father and daughter wound up at the food court, enjoying their orange chicken and fried rice then a blizzard each from Dairy Queen to wash it down. By the time they were on their drive home, Janis had forgotten entirely what upset her.

~~~~~

“Why do you think she kissed you?”

“Don’t know, to get a reaction out of Kyle? And me?”

“Alright, but why?” Joan prompted.

“She’s crazy, I don’t know, Joan. I don’t know why my best friend of six years one day decided to pull this stunt and not be the person I knew anymore.”

“How did Kyle react?”

“He— he cheered. He was happy to see us kiss. It was disgusting, he told us to kiss again. Regina almost leaned in for another, I pushed her away and ran out of her house. Gretchen came out to the curb to check on me but I wasn’t having it— she and Regina had gotten close those last few weeks. Regina had not been talking to me as much at that point but this sleepover was a weekly thing and she wanted me there as usual so I went then it happened and changed everything. I knew Gretchen really was worried about me, that’s never changed about her. She’s always been nice.”

“How did you feel when you kissed her?”

“Um—” Janis stopped bouncing her leg, “I…I liked it. Because— I actually, I caught feelings for her over time. But I never told her, I never had the chance to.”

“And how’d that make you feel?”

“Heartbroken. Angry. Like I want to strangle her for saying that I only let her kiss me because I was obsessed with her.” Janis answered, “I really cared about her, I cherished her. I didn’t want to tell her until I was sure she felt the same way. Or maybe I was never going to say anything because I was too scared it would change things between the two of us. Joan…I felt safe with her, then my whole world as I knew it got…wrecked in the matter of minutes.”

“Janis, what do you think caused her to change?”

“She got a boyfriend, I don’t know. Regina George only cares about herself now. Everyone else is like dirt on the ground to her. She saw me at the bookstore and shoved past me even though there was tons of space.”

“It might be deeper than that.”

“How so?”

“Based on what you’ve been telling me, and given how much time you’ve spent together with Regina, she’s never met Kyle before that sleepover and declared him to be her boyfriend.”

“Yeah, well Kyle’s a new kid— oh.”

“I think, she might’ve done what she did because she was trying to avoid admitting to herself that she acknowledged a change in herself when you came out to her.”

“A change…?”

“The feelings, that you had for her. Could be mutual. She just isn’t ready to come to terms with it.” Joan revealed, “I see this quite a bit even just in a week. But, be that as it may, her outing you and publicly humiliating you was not the way to go.”

“Yeah no shit.” Janis chewed the inside of her cheek.

“Janis, what do you do in your free time?”

“You mean everyday? I got kicked out because I finally retaliated, remember?” Janis laughs. 

“Well, I remember. But I was just thinking maybe picking up a new hobby or two that you can focus on, that you really enjoy and immerse yourself in.”

“Well, I like art so I’ve been sketching and painting a whole lot more over the summer since I naturally have a lot of free time on my hands.”

“Good.” Joan nodded, “Make use of art, channel your emotions into your pieces. I could help you work through some of it without you actively realising. I know the sessions sometimes take a lot out of you, you feel a lot in the 45 minutes. Very intensely. Art could let you have an outlet to release those emotions and thoughts. On top of the methods we’ve began to discuss, that is.”

Janis gave the lady a solemn nod, “I will. I’ll stick to it. Um, running into Regina that day upset me. I wish I hadn’t seen her because I was doing so well.”

“The thing about healing and recovery is that it takes time. And it’s never really linear all the time. These encounters are bumps in the road, little dips in the chart.” Joan explained, “How you respond and move forward from them is what matters. And what tells you where you are in your progress.”

“Me and my dad, we left the bookstore and we carried on walking around the mall. He offered to buy me a donut, a smoothie— declined. Didn’t feel like it because in that moment I just lost my appetite.” Janis began, “But then we just kept walking and window shopping, and the…encounter was tossed to the back of my mind, I could pretty quickly focus on what was in front of me instead of what’s already happened.”

“See? That’s great, that’s progress. Improvement. It will take time, but with the effort you’ve been putting in, you’ve got it.”

~~~~~

“What?” Damian glares at the blonde. “What the hell did you just say to me?”

“I said you were stupid. Stupid for believing her. She’s clearly doing all of this for attention.”

“I think you are. You put on that damn show asking if you could kiss her. You are one messed up person.”

Regina raised her brows, the smirk never leaving her face. “What am I doing, Damian? Straight A’s, I look put together, great friends. Meanwhile she looks like she just rolled out of bed and came to school.”“You? Straight A’s. Don’t go lying to yourself, Regina. That’s very stupid of you. Keep her name out of your mouth while you’re at it. You’ve decided to let her go, so do that. Otherwise, you’re like, the one obsessed with her or something.”

Janis’ hatred for the girl only grew with each passing day. The sight of her made her sick, and also made her want to punch the wall. But she wasn’t going to damage school property and let herself be the one getting into trouble. Not again. Regina George wasn’t worth it. Damian was right— she’d decided to let her go, so Janis should be treating Regina as if she didn’t exist. As if she was invisible. 

~~~~~

“I made a mistake.” Janis revealed as she sunk into the armchair, “I was six weeks clean. Six weeks. But last night I spiralled and it happened again”

“We talked about this, picking yourself back up and moving forward is the way to go. Take care of it, get it cleaned and bandaged because we don’t want infections. But you recognise this action, you know not to dwell on it. You have the ways— other ways to help you work through the urge.”

“I wasted my effort. This was the longest I’ve ever gone without doing that.”

“No, no effort was wasted.” Joan disagreed, “Janis, would you have talked to me about this if it was even just a month ago? Would you have successfully calmed yourself down and called me to tell me you needed to see me sooner?” 

“No?”

“Precisely.” Joan continued, “That, you making that call to me, to tell me what you needed was a result of your effort, you know what’s good for you, what can help you after a mistake, after a little slip on your journey. Remember that, be proud of that, the little wins. One by one, they’ll add up and become a major change in your life. A good change.”

~~~~~

“Move your fat ass out of the way, ‘Imi’ike.” Regina snarled.

Janis stiffens, scurrying out of the way, her back pressed up against the lockers as she stared at the ground when Regina and her posse walked by.  

Again, there was plenty of space around them. Janis just got startled, and reacted. She’d already had a rough morning hearing her parents get into it, fighting about her. “Either you eat faster and go on your way to school, or don’t eat at all.” Her mom bellowed irritatedly. Janis jumped, scared. Sighing, she scraped her plate and left it in the sink then promptly left the house. Her Dad caught up and drove her to school. “Get breakfast when you arrive in school, okay? It’s still early.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

The rest of the ride was silent with the exception of the radio playing in the background. It wasn’t a long ride, anyway.

“I’ll see you right here after school, okay, ladybug?” Ben pulls up in front of the school.

Janis nodded, he kisses her on the head and gave her a hug from the side.

“I love you, have a good day.”

“Love you.” Janis forced a smile before she got out of the car.

A tap on her shoulder pulls her back into the present. “Jesus, Damian! You scared me.”

“You told me to look for you at your locker after school. What were you expecting?” He teased.

“Nothing, I just got scared that’s all.” 

“Well, I’m sorry.” Damian apologises, putting an arm across her shoulders, “Let’s go get burgers.”

Janis gulped, Regina's comment rang through her ears again: “Move your fat ass out of the way, ‘Imi’ike.”

She shook her head as though to get rid of that voice, then continued making her way out of the school building with Damian. They walked to their usual after school spot — their favourite fast food restaurant to enjoy their favourite burgers and fries.

Janis was starving, the school lunch sucked so she was glad to be able to get her favourite food here. But after awhile, the annoying voice came back. “Woah! May be  time for you to get a bigger sized shirt, Jan. That is not a cute look.”

“Kalua pork and rice again? You oughta cut down on that meat intake. You’ve really let yourself go these days.” The blonde sighs. 

“Look at me.” Damian snapped his fingers in front of her face to get her attention.

“What?”

“I know this look.” Damian admits, “She said shit to you, didn’t she?” 

“Since when does she not, Damian?” Janis dropped a fry back onto her plate. 

“She’s a bitch. She ain’t worth any of your time. Focus on yourself.”

“I may be focusing on myself too much.”

Damian quirked a brow, seemingly having figured out what Janis meant. “No fucking way.” 

“Oh she did. First thing she says to me every day now ever since you know — my body changed.”

“She called you obsessed? Who’s the obsessed one now? She’s always thinking of you, my friend.” 

Janis guffaws, “No thank you.” 

~~~~~

Tossing her clothes into the hamper, Janis grabs her towel and a fresh change of clothes then walked to her bathroom. Out of nowhere, the mirror caught her eye and she stopped in front of it. She looked at the reflection of her new body that she was still trying so hard to get used to. Puberty sucked— why’d her body have to change? Her hand glided down her side, stopping right by her hip. Her fingers pinched the flesh, her eyes traced her own features. Squinting, as if to look closely, as if to commit how they looked in to her memory. 

When did she get this extra flab?

When did her thighs start getting so close together?

When she seem this short? Why was she still so short? 

Janis groans, rolling her head and shoulders to relax the tension. “God, I’m fat.”

~~~~~

February, Valentine’s Day was in a week. Kids around her were all buzzing with excitement, talking about their mushy gushy plans. Janis shuddered at the thought. 

Pulling her sleeve down as she walked to her locker, “Oh, wow. Daddy’s sweater?” 

“Yeah, so? Mind your business.” 

“Smart choice, really covers up your problem areas.” 

Janis got her chemistry textbook out of her locker, shut the door and swiftly left the area. 

After school that day, Damian went to therapy with Janis. He waited outside, of course. 

“Hi, Janis.” 

“Hi, Joan.” Janis put her bag down and sat in the armchair, like always. “So…Regina really, really pissed me off today. I don’t know why— it wasn’t even that bad of a remark compared to what she usually says.” 

“What did she say?”

“She made fun of me for wearing my Dad’s sweater. Said it was a smart choice because it covered up my problem areas. She’s been calling me fat for weeks— directly, or indirectly.”

“And how have you been doing with that?”

“Oh.” Janis laughs, “Art pieces have been piling up.”

~~~~~

“Janis.” Sandra narrows her eyes at her daughter, “Eat the food, don’t just push it around on your plate.”

“I already did.”

“Finish it, you just told me the school lunch tasted horrible. It’s dinner time now.”

“I’m full.”

“You’re wasting my food.” Sandra continued, clearly unhappy. 

Ben looked between them both, concerned. For different reasons. 

“I said I’m full.” Janis inhaled sharply, gripping the metal fork tightly. Then she drops it, it hits the plate noisily. Janis got up and ran up to her room. 

“Janis!” Her mother shrieked, “You better stop that and get back down here. Finish your dinner.”

Janis stopped on a step, hesitating. But, she continued stomping upstairs despite that. “She’s crazy. How is she full?”

“Sandra, you can’t just say these things. You know that.”

“And she knows better than to take that plate for herself if she isn’t going to finish it.”

Ben sighs,”That’s it. I’ve had enough.”

“Well, good.” Sandra smiled.

“Of you. I’ve had enough of you.” Ben clarified, “You are no good. You don’t see how hard she’s trying to get better. You don’t hear how loud she was struggling. I’m doing my job as her parent and helping her. You are just here, day in and day out with useless, and harmful comments that you think you can just say and think she doesn’t hear you. Guess what? She hears you, she takes your words to heart because you are her mother. What you say to her means more than you know. You either stop this damn behaviour or I’m taking Janis and we’re moving.”

Sandra arched a brow looking at him, “Okay. Move out.” She retrieves an envelope from her bag on the couch, handing it to Ben. “Sign the papers, then you’re free to go with her.”

~~~~~

“Janis, you have to come see me tomorrow.”

“Rather not.”

“Why not?” Joan asked.

“Because, I’m tired.”

“And I want to talk to you about some things, it will help.”

“My parents got divorced.”

“I’m aware, Janis. You texted me about that.”

“Should I switch schools?”

“Of course you can.” Joan replies, “I’ve talked to your father about getting you into a different school as a possibility. He has left that choice up to you.”

“Joan, I know that. He told me that, but I’m— not sure.”

“Tell me more.”

“Well, having to start over is scary. And it’s my last year until high school, so it seems…not worth it?” 

“Is the thought of being in a brand new environment more tolerable, or the thought of being in the same space as your bully? It may be your last year, but every day should count. You should be living a life where you put yourself first.” 

“I know what to do. Thanks, Joan.”

~~~~~

“Stop laughing and go do your homework.”

“Already done, mom.”

Sandra;s nostrils flared, “I’ve had enough of your attitude, Janis. After everything we’ve done for you, you repay us by getting into trouble, becoming gay and wasting your Dad’s time and money sending you to therapy. Those are all just excuses, Janis.” 

“All those didn’t happen overnight.” Janis’ heart sank. She had tears quickly welling in her eyes. Why was her mother like this? Why doesn’t she love her?

Quietly slipping upstairs, Janis carefully shut and locked her door. Going up to her desk, she pulls out this stack of enveloped notes from her drawer and placed it on the desk. She sits on the edge of her bed, skilfully retrieving the blade she hasn’t seen in ages from her nightstand. She was crying,  she could feel the tears hitting her thighs, hitting her forearms. When she went ahead, it stung— at first. But she was used to this, so she repeated her actions, only wincing when her salty tears hit the sites. Over and over, deeper and deeper. Her grip goes weaker and weaker…her vision was blurred by her tears but she blinked them away and her vision comes back into focus. Janis sees the photo of her as a child, with her father at Pololū Valley…back home. In Kohala. How Janis wishes she could be home. Not here in this house. The blade falls from her grip, hitting the floor. Janis curses, beginning to feel lightheaded. Blinking profusely, she was suddenly aware of the excruciating pain and was doing everything in her power to not scream. 

Holding her phone with a shaky hand, Janis dials her dad’s number. He picks up in seconds, “Daddy, daddy I’m sorry. Please help me, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.”

His blood ran cold hearing how broken she was. “Ipo, I’m calling 911 right now. Will you stay awake for daddy? Please, ladybug? Promise?”

Shit. Ben was only out of the house for awhile— he’d went to the bakery nearby to get Janis’ favourite cake as a reward for a 94% percent on a math quiz.

“I promise…but it hurts so much, Daddy.”

“I know, ladybug. I gotta hang up, but I’ll be right there with you, I promise.”

A second later, Ben had hung up on Janis to call 911. Janis didn’t stay awake for more than a minute. She’d passed out. Even the thud didn’t alarm Sandra. Not until she saw the paramedics drive up to the house.

~~~~~

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“You did. You were just too stuck in your own mindset and beliefs. We’re not married anymore. Just go, you’re free.” 

As apologetic as Sandra was now, as much as she’d cried. Ben knew not to give in anymore. Why should he? Janis almost successfully took her own life under her care. Because of her words. 

Janis looked away when she saw her mother turning her head to look at her. She hated her. Janis hated this woman. And she wasn’t sorry about it. Why should she? 

“Daddy, I wanna go home.”

“I know, I know. You can’t just yet.” Ben cups her face, brushing her tears away. “But I promise you, we will.”

Janis spent three days under constant supervision, then three months in the psych ward.  Her education had no doubt been put on pause, but that meant full, undivided focus on her recovery— anxiety, depression, self-harm and disordered eating. She really buckled down and put her heart and soul into getting better. For her own sake, she wanted to get out and do more. Go back to school, make new friends, spend time with Damian— she wanted to live life again. 

~~~~~

“Here’s the cake I owe you.” Ben smiled, letting go from the hug, “Welcome home.”

“Thank you, Daddy.”

“It’s nothing.”

Janis shook her head, “Thank you. For everything.” 

“It wasn’t all me, ladybug. You’ve done a whole lot of work for yourself to get to where you are now.”

“Can we go to the beach, please?” Janis smiled, sniffling. 

“And get shave ice?” Ben asks with a chuckle.

“Always.”

~~~~~

The Plastics were in O’ahu for their high school graduation trip. Janis didn’t know until Damian brought it up. This was the first time she’s heard that name or seen that face since she moved back to Kohala with her Dad following the divorce. Janis was turning 14, and they had to make do with living out of a room in a relative’s home for awhile, but Janis has never been happier. To be homeschooled, to be here, to be home. At peace, at last. 

“Well, when are you coming here, dude? I miss you.”

“Next week, Janis.” Damian says, “I’m a broke ass bitch, had to book my flight out for the date that’s the cheapest.”

“Alright.” Janis laughs heartily, “See you soon.”

“Lunch is ready, Janis.” Her aunt knocks on the patio door.

“I’ll be there in a second, ‘Anakē. Just have to finish up this part of the piece.”

“Okay, honey.” 

~~~~~

“Janis? Oh, my God. It’s you.” A familiar voice stops Janis in her tracks on the beach. She was curious, not tense, or worried, or anxious. She turns around, and comes face to face with Gretchen Wieners. 

“Hi, Gretchen.”

“I’m so glad to see you again.”  Gretchen walked closer, Janis smiled wider. And then, they hugged.  “I didn’t know you moved back here.”

“I didn’t tell anyone.” Janis chuckles, “How are you?”

“Our senior class is here for a graduation trip. Regina is nearby if you’d rather steer clear of her.” Gretchen said, then her voice trails off at the end. Janis squints, “Are you okay?” 

“Uh, yeah. Just— Regina is behind—”

“I am sorry.” Regina began once Janis turned around the other way to look her in the eye, “But I know it doesn’t cut it. I’ve hurt you. Everything you’ve been through started because of me. I don’t know what else I can say except apologise over and over and over hoping that you hear me. That you acknowledge it, you don’t have to forgive me. I deserve it. And more. Janis, you were the greatest loss of my life.”

This was the first time Janis had been calm in front of Regina. First time since they were friends. Damn, how long ago was that?

“I was a nasty person, in denial. But I…I’ve missed you every day that I’ve spent apart from you.”

~~~~~

Janis was certain she was dreaming, feeling the girl’s lips against her own, eager, tender, exciting, and filled with yearning. After six long years, they have both found themselves, and their way back to each other.  

“Are you sure you want to—”

Janis answered the question by connecting their lips.

One thing led to another quickly, becoming increasingly heated. Regina backs Janis onto the mattress, straddling her smoothly.  “I’ve missed you so fucking much. I can’t believe it took me this long to accept that I was gay.”“Just kiss me already.” Janis pulls her down.

Regina chuckles into the kiss, unbuttoning Janis’ shirt and reaching back to unclip her bra, freeing the girl’s breasts. As Regina kisses a trail along her jaw and down her neck, Janis’ head got thrown back as she swallowed a low noise.  

“Holy shit, that is a gorgeous tattoo.”

Janis chuckles lowly when she feels the blonde’s fingertips tracing the art, “Thanks.”

~~~~~

“Fuck— I— I love you.”  Regina panted, falling onto her back next to Janis. Janis laughs breathily, in disbelief of what she’d just heard. 

“Okay. Wow.” Janis turned her head to look at Regina.

“I do. And I have for years. I just couldn’t—”

Janis smiled, brushing the stray hairs out of the blonde’s face, cupping her cheek. A sleepy smile tugs at her lips. 

“Where are you going for college—”

“Can we talk about this tomorrow? When we’re more awake and alert?” Janis requested.

Regina hums, nodding, “Yeah, that’d be better.”

~~~~~

In the fall, Regina starts college at Yale, and Janis at NYU. The couple did long-distance but saw each other in person at least every other week. 

This new stage of their lives was going well. They were thriving, but by the summer, Janis notices Regina getting more and more withdrawn, and cold. Snarky, like her old self. 

Over a late night FaceTime call, Regina reveals that she’d relapsed. She was struggling with bulimia again after being three years in recovery. Despite all efforts, Regina deteriorated and had to be in the hospital. 

At first, Regina only took a leave of absence. But then she’d eventually withdrew her name from school. Janis did all she could to support her girlfriend, but it was so tough. She’d started to shut everyone out. 

They’d then decided to return to their regime of FaceTime calls— everyday. The distance allowed them to cool off. For Regina to focus on recovery, for Janis to focus on school. There wasn’t any more Janis could do at this point. She wasn’t a medical professional. 

~~~~~

After a full year in the recovery facility, Regina could finally go home. Home, as in Chicago. But June did something— she’d bought Regina an apartment in New York so she could be closer to Janis. So then, their relationship went on without another mention of Regina’s eating disorder. Like it’s never happened. 

They were healing, they were fulfilled, they were happy. 

Were they really happy? Or in denial of their past and choosing to forget instead of process them?

Janis knew she was the happiest she’s ever been. The most authentically herself.  But she’s had times where she found herself wondering if Regina was indeed happy to be with her.

Her gut was trying to tell her something.

————

After four years in the city that never sleeps, Janis was once again back where she was meant to be. Home. With her family. 

“New York was fun, huh, ladybug?”

“It was. It was…something special. Learnt a lot, about myself, about other people.”

“I know, honey.” Ben nodded in understanding, “Hey, maybe we should make it our thing, to go to the city every year? It’ll be fun.” 

“I’d like that.” Janis agreed.

“Did you manage to meet anyone special?” 

She laughs, “I have been talking to this girl in one of my lectures, but no, not dating yet.” 

“Ua ola loko i ke aloha.” Ben reminded. 

“Love gives life within.” Janis grins, “I know, Daddy. When the timing is right, what’s meant to happen will happen.” 

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

[waywardnajsepticeye]

Hi, idk if your requests are open so if not, just ignore this. Can i ask for spencer with fem or nb reader who had a really rough childhood? (Like physically and mentally abused and forced to drink alcohol at a very young age, sexually abused etc) maybe reader being extremely touch starved but is just too afraid to ask because of her/their past.

Have a nice day/night!

-Anon🍃

Hi! Thanks for the request! This will be awfully short since this is dealing with a sensitive topic. The fic will be under the read more section!

I'd Be The Prom Queen If Crying Was A Contest (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

(Content Warning: Mentions of abuse)

Y/n stared at Spencer longingly. There was something about his arms that felt comforting and safe. She wanted to fall into his arms and hug him so, so tight.

But she couldn't.

She couldn't allow herself to.

Y/n felt like she did not deserve the warm embrace of Spencer Reid. She thought that he would push her away, just like everyone else. Everyone else who decided to hit her and kick her around. Everyone else who only saw her as an object, not a person. She had to scars to prove it. Trauma was written all over her face.

Spencer, who had doused himself in the flames of literature, knew something was wrong. He looked up from his book and noticed Y/n rocking back and forth on the couch, muttering to herself. He got up from where he was sitting and and sat down beside her. Y/n jumped and flinched.

"N-No- stop-"

"Hey, hey, relax. It's just me. No one is here to hurt you."

Y/n grimaced at Spencer's soft voice. The only time someone talked to her like that was when they threatened her to keep her mouth shut and stop screaming. But something about this softness was different.

She stared at Spencer's arms. She could already feel them wrapping around her waist.

"Are you okay?" Reid asked.

"Y-Yeah....I'm fine, Spence." She replied.

No, I'm not okay. I want you to hug me was the only thought going through her mind. She was too afraid to ask. She didn't want to feel like a burden.

But Spencer knew better. All these years of profiling has taught him to pick up on subtle clues. He pulled Y/n into a hug. She melted into the hug and gripped onto Spencer tightly. This is what she wanted. Why couldn't she ask for it?

"I-I'm sorry...." Y/n whispered.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" Spencer questioned.

"For bothering you like this. I distracted you from reading. I feel like you shouldn't be doing this." Y/n said, digging her face into Reid's chest.

"You're not a bother to me, Y/n. I want to be there for you in your time of trouble. I'll do anything for you." Spencer said firmly.

Y/n nodded and said nothing. All she wanted to do was to relish the moment. She knew that someone cared for her. And right now, that's all that matters.

[nitrokiraru]

madatowa drama cd notes as someone who has very limited jp knowledge. i am simply using my 4 yrs of high school japanese, google translate, and a dream. just posting this for fun so it’s not like an official translation or anything it’s just basically me describing what’s happening to the best of my ability and also being insane about them

major events that happened that i could make out as like a tldr

-mada reunited with someone he knew when he was little

-towa learns abt mada’s past, mainly around a guy named “kurahashi”

-mayu eiji and kotarou appearance :D being sillies as always

-two yowie moments. first one in an alleyway second one presumably in their home. both are freak nasty as usual madatowa shenanigans

notes:

track 1

-LOTS of fighting noises in this

-towa and mada have a coffee and say it tastes like shinkoumi. some dudes come up to em and try to fight

track 2+3

-somebody notices them and gives them a job. presumably to fight people

-towa fights some people and it riles him up

-this part has already been translated but i just wanna scream abt it here bc!!!!!! towa brings him and mada into like an alleyway or something and he goes “hit me. it has to be you.” and mada says something like “you really are a lost cause/what am i going to do with you, huh?” hits him n his mouth fills with blood and towa kisses mada to make him taste it dnnsjdjd ❤️

-they have a quickie in the third track in said alleyway like the freaks they are

track 4

-a character (acquaintance of mada) called him “kei” which was kinda crazy to me since nobody called him that in the vn

-theyre in south america i believe? it’s funny in drama cds when they go to a country outside of japan and still speak japanese

-this character knew mada when he was little??? omg

-KAGA MENTION

-somebody came up to towa and madarame and said “forget everything you saw/heard today”?!

-there’s a VA in here that lowkey sounds like koujaku dmmd but idk how to check

track 5

-it’s funny how some tracks in here are like 2 minutes and the next one is 20

-dude i forgot how good nitroplus’ like sound effects are these mfs sound like they’re in my ROOM

-towa n mada having a convo abt the previous day. i think they may be arguing slightly? tone feels passive aggressive

-birds chirpin’ and towa’s breathing. he just woke up

-he just said madarame in the softest voice ever… 💔💔

-i think he woke up on their bed and mada left before he did

-towa: where did you go?😕 *track ends*

track 6

-footsteps. towa in a coffee shop once again

-MADA FIGHTING THAT DUDE HE KNEW

-cut back to towa. beep beep boop. towa calling somebody? ITS MAYU KOTAROU AND I THINK EIJI OMGGGGG T__T I MISSED EM

-i missed mayus silly voice

-they keep talking about somebody named “kurahashi” related to mada and kaga

-sasaki and toono mention?

-mayu: did something happen between you and madarame? did you two fight? (in the most teasing lil shit voice ever)

towa: *exhales smoke probably abt to hang up the phone* i’m done. -__-

eiji: HE WAs JUST KIDDIN-

-eiji: mata!! (see you!)

kotarou: mata na.

mayu: mata ne~ ^__^

the difference in tones was cute

-towa walks out of da shop. the dude from before comes up to him and asks if he wants to know what he and mada have been doing

-he like grabs him?? menacing music playing

-ok towa said let me go i think he pushed him up against a wall or something

-this dude is asking towa if he knows abt mada before he joined the takasatogumi. some massive lore bits goin on here (i understand about 20% of it)

-from what i got: madarame and kaga had a promise. lots of talk abt this promise. lots of talk abt madarame’s history with his siblings and takasatogumi. this entire bit is probably really interesting lore wise but i can’t understand most of it…💔 apologies

- enter madarame from the distance to save towa from this dude’s grasp

-he walks away.

-madarame: that guy…what happened?

towa: nothin. we just talked

madarame: really?

towa: yea. (he lyin)

track 7

-they go back home (i think) and enter.

towa sighssss. towa and mada talk time it seems ^__^

-madarame’s voice is so soft when he’s w him…cries

-towa: mentions something abt kurahashi

music: gets Suspenseful

-towa talks abt the stuff that dude told him

-towa ran away into a room?! (once again this would make me more sense if i even understood the weight of that dudes words and the lore of what happened)

track 8 (pretty sure this is the beginning of disc 2? however i’m listening from dlsite so it just shows up as track 8)

-this track is 20 minutes oh god pray for me as i try to even figure out what the hell is happening

-towa goes to see kurahashi and some dude tells him he needs an appt lawl… he lets him in tho

-“you came after all, towa” *suspense music starts*

-there’s a new takasatogumi?¿

-the dude who calls madarame “kei” is here telling him this. actually i think this is kurahashi i’ve just been calling him “the dude” this whole time but maybe it is kurahashi LMFAO i’ll just call him that

-wait the interrogation/euphoria music is playing? they’re still doing this segment in the drama cds omg

-towas voice still remaining the sexiest shit ever god

-IS HE TRYING TO SEDUCE INFORMATION OUT OF HIM or is it just his voice. maybe both

-more lore bits abt mada that i can only get bits n pieces from

-towa provoking da hell out of this mf.

-literally what the HELL is happening some other dude came in i hear clothes rustling and towa said Unhand Me

-HELLO GLASS JUST BROKE THAT SCARED ME WHY ARE NITROPLUS’ SOUND EFFECTS SO REALISTIC

-ITS MADA LMFAKOOK HE BROKE IN AND ASAID “towa. u in here?”

-the guy who sounds like koujaku is back apparently w him. they saved towa :D

-OK WHERE DID EIJI MAYU AND KOTAROU COME FROM I MISSED SOMETHING. i did.

track 9

-more kotarou eiji and mayuuuu. looks like they’re with towa and madarame now

-ok they left lawl

-everything’s all chill now i think that last track was the drama. i can’t wait until somebody translates the whole thing so i can actually understand what da hell happened

-once again their voices when they speak to each other alone are just 💔💔..

-it got a bit intimate at the end there i think i’m abt to hear a secks scene ngl

track 10

-YUP THE JAZZ MUSIC PLAYIN AND THERES KISSIN

-blood and knife(?) mention oh it’s abt to get real crazy in here

-mada: want me to cut you (non-verbatim ish)

towa: yes…..!!

-i’m punching the air.

-*cut sfx* mada: did that hurt?

towa:… feels good

-towa is such a fucking freak (affectionate) my god

-i think mada is licking the blood up oh my goodnes i’m abt to pass out and i’m only 2 min in

-oh he’s . towas whimpering . i’m normal (yes they’re fucking now)

-towa: cut me more. i want it to hurt

-mada keeps cutting him and towa keeps doing that little whimper FAWKKKK I CANR

-after they finished

towa: you’re covered in blood.

mada: whose fault is that?

towa: yours, isn’t it?

-ok that just changed me and i am very glad i bought this CD so i can now listen to it for the rest of time.

track 11 (last one!! ;_;)

-outside ambience. towa talking abt da sky

-at the coffee shop again talking w da waiter

-melancholy music playing.. why am i feeling emotional

-if i heard this correctly mada and kaga had coffee together that tasted like what they’re having rn?¿ madarame talking more abt his past but like. fondly i guess

-madarame said something that kind of gagged towa but IDK WHAT IT WASSSS HE SAID “who knows”

ARKTA song once again for the ending! AND IM DONEEE

ok so. i’m not gonna give a full review since i didn’t understand all of what they were saying but i saw on twt some people are going to start translating it? so perhaps i’ll relisten once a translation is out and give my full thoughts but as of now i loved it regardless. i missed towa and madarame a lot i love their dynamic 💔 just a bunch of freaks fighting mfs occasionally and going anywhere but still sticking beside one other. im rly glad i actually bought it because i get to listen to it whenever AND it’ll probably feel like the first time once i finally listen to it along with an eng translation so i actually know wtf is GOING ON

anyways hi and thank u if u read this whole thing. ’m gonna buy the rest of them soon and also make a review post but probably not as long. the reason is because god i MISSED TOWAS VOICE SO MUCH LOL i must hear it again. that is all

[cod-dump]

Alright, so I saw that someone wanted more food insecurity with Ghost, but idk if this counts as food insecurity—it's whatever. It includes food, so it counts. ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌

New Prompt: Ghost has trouble telling when he's hungry until he's literally starving and has really bad time blindness while on leave (like me).

On top of his shit childhood, Simon's teenage years brought on a whole lot of issues with appetite. Despite being a growing boy, Simon has a very unique appetite due to his previous eating habits mentioned in the other ask. He kinda fucked up his hunger levels. He would eat whatever whenever, but he was never actually hungry or at least—he couldn't really tell. This caused problems when he would unknowingly go the whole day without eating something because he couldn't find any scraps to snack on, and couldn't tell that he had been starving until his stomach loudly expressed its anger at him the next morning.

He never really acknowledged it as a serious problem. The military already gave him a set schedule and timeframe on when to eat, so it was never an issue of missing meals and accidentally starving himself.

Until he went on leave for 3 months with Johnny.

There was no longer a set schedule on when to eat since Ghost was sleeping in most of the time like the grumpy black cat that he is. So, sometimes, when Johnny's out in the morning doing whatever and Ghost wakes up, he doesn't eat—like at all. He turns on the TV and absentmindedly watches some random documentary about penguins while mindlessly cleaning around the house and—oh shit, Johnny's home. What time is it?

Why is Johnny already back home? He's supposed to be back by 7pm and it's only—Ghost briefly checked the time on his phone—7:20pm... How the hell...

That was when Ghost suddenly realized that his stomach had literally screaming at him for probably hours. He forgot to eat. He hadn't eaten since he woke up 8 hours ago. He woke up at 11, and it's already night time!

Johnny had a very disappointed expression when he found out that Ghost had done things around the house like clean up and fold clothes and shower, but didn't eat a single thing. Johnny expected Ghost to find leftovers in the fridge like he would back on base, but apparently his LT forgot to look at a clock in between his activities. He was disappointed, but he also had a pretty bad case of time blindness when he was super involved in something, so he couldn't really blame the man. They both learned something new and that info was tucked away for later.

Instead, the two went to the kitchen and Johnny made three of his signature, god-tier-level sandwiches; two for Simon, one for Johnny. It was something quick to make, and they always tasted good. It hit just the perfect spot for someone who hasn't eaten in 8 hours in favor of being productive in an empty household.

From that point forward, Johnny added to his ever-growing list of things about his Ghost. Make sure to remind Simon to eat every 3-4 hours or he will forget (specifically on leave). Simon learned to look forward to Johnny's messages telling him to grab something to munch on everyday.

(i wonder what those text reminders would look like ngl, also someone make up the type of sandwiches that Soap makes bc that man knows how to make a mean sandwich)

— 🍄🍂

Ghost is me fr. Time blindness and all

___

Message from Johnny: Hey babe! Go eat the lunch I made for you and some water! Be home later ❤️

Message from Johnny: I need you to go stuff your face with some food and send me a picture of your best chipmunk impression! That’s an order, soldier!

Message from Johnny: If that can of crisps that I bought you isn’t empty by the time I get home there will be no Sherlock marathon or cuddles!! I MEAN IT

Message from Johnny: I counted the water bottles before I left this morning. I will know if you didn’t drink one of them.

Message from Johnny: Simon my love, it’s been two hours since I left this morning. There’s a sandwich waiting for you in the fridge with a can of soda. Make sure to eat it ❤️❤️

Message from Johnny: if you didn’t eat the stew i made for you i will cry and there will be no kisses or cuddles!! 🥺🥺

Message from Johnny: *picture of a hotdog* I showed you my dog so be polite and show me yours

[toska-writes]

ooh idea maybe? commander cody meeting padawan!reader for the first time, being reluctant to get close to them because he sees it as a waste of time, but inevitably becoming fond of them and now they’re glued to him 24/7. you don’t have to do it but it came to my mind randomly and now i cant stop thinking about it. have a great day!

“Adaptable”

Summary: Commander Cody isn’t really sure about this new padawan idea

Paring: Cody x GN padawan reader (Platonic)

Warning: None :) please enjoy

Word count: 1511

Notes: Thank you so much for the suggestion! I loved the idea and I hope it embodies what you imagined. Also maybe there could be a part 2? Idk

Cody has learned over time that if he wanted to survive, have this brothers or general survive he would have to be adaptable to any and everything.

Cody would follow his general or men blindly if they asked him too and he was sure that they could say the same.

But when Cody was asked to the bridge on the Negotiator as they headed back to Coruscant he felt something wasn't really right.

As he entered he noticed the bridge way mostly vacant with just Obi-wan standing with his back turned.

No matter where Cody saw him he always seem at ease and nothing changed that now. He’d have to learn how to be that stoic some day

The foot steps or other feelings Cody didn’t fully understand made Obi-wan turn and greet his marshal commander with a warm smile.

Normally in a time like this war the smile was almost a half smile but this reached out towards his whole face.

"General" Cody nodded as he came up and stood in front of him. “Something come up?”

"Ah Cody I do have some news for you."

Cody stood at attention now. It would seem odd if it was any bad news consisting of the war because of said smile and happy demeanor but Cody new better

"What is it sir?" Cody asked still perplexed.

"It's seem that when we arrive on Coruscant we will have a new padawan of our own."

A padawan? Why. Why why why why why? Cody stood frozen for a moment taking it all in, not that it was much just the idea shocked him.The flash backs of General Skywalker and all the other story's he's heard played in his head.

Cody snapped back to reality in a moment. "I- I'm not sure how the Jedi exactly work sir but didn't you already have a padawan."

Obi-wan stroked his beard for a moment. "Though Anakin was my padawan peculiar circumstances we have found ourselves in Cody, for now at least."

Cody nodded, before he could turn he saw the slight look Obi-wan gave him and then he said. "Your not happy with the choice?"

"No sir, I'm perfectly fine with it." Cody spat quickly, without saying anything more Obi-wan gave a small nod signaling he could leave.

Questions bombarded Cody. Why do they need another? He thought there battalion was perfectly capable. A kid? In the middle of a war like this. Of course Ahsoka was different but the 'peculiar circumstances' didn't make him feel any better. Even then someone like either of the two had no place in a hellbent war.

Cody stayed to himself for the remainder of the time, change was inevitable, and he knew that.

He felt the ship shake as they exited hyperspace and the familiarity of the planet made him feel a little more steady.

Obi-wan met at his side now, the rest of the 212th were behind as the ship was now in the hanger. Quite chatter was heard, mostly of ideas of what the boys could get into while they have just a small pit stop on Coruscant.

"I promise this won't go as terribly as you think commander." Obi-wan spoke quietly to him. "It could be a different pace for everyone."

Cody nodded. Thank the maker his bucket was on his head because it lessened the chance that Obi-wan could see how nervous... no over it he was.

Obi-wan was a lot to handle at time- not to mention when Anakin, or Ahsoka, or Fives and Echo, or Waxer and Boil, or…. Well this was going to be a lot.

Cody took a deep breath. The front of his mind screamed that they didn't need another jedi, better yet a padawan who he was not confident in the ability's. But the back, more dark part of his mind whispered quietly- what if something happens? The same fear he felt for his General and brothers now was starting to creep into his brain.

He hasn't even met the kid. He reminded himself, anything could happen.

As the ramp opened the large group took a few steps out. Already many of the men were either catching up with one another or someone else about the hanger.

At the edge stationed in front of a large door stood what appeared to be who Cody could recognize as Plo Koon, but the other not so much.

"Ah Obi-wan. Glad to see you again." He greeted cheerfully. "Commander, a pleasure as always."

Cody gave a low nod in return. He held major respect for the Jedi master that stood in front of him now. Wolffe spoke very highly of him.

"This gentleman is Y/N." He gestured as you made a small bow.

"Hi" You flashed a small grin at the two. Cody could almost recognize that look- if it was like the one Fives usually had on they all were in for a treat.

Great.

"Now Y/N where do you come from?" Obi-wan asked as he held out a hand for you to take.

Taking it you said. "Yavin 4, so it was quite the trip."

"Indeed in was." He flashed a small look at Cody, one he almost missed. "Well I'm assuming after a long day it would be a great idea to get something to eat."

"Indeed it would." You semi-mocked in a joking manner waiting for a good or bad reaction, but your eyes held a different story. One Cody wasn't sure he could read.

Obi-wan let out a small chuckle "I'll have to meet you in the mess in a few moments however, the temples requesting information about our latest battles but I'll be sure to join you when I'm done in the temple."

Obi-wan flashed one last look at Cody before walking off briskly with master Plo in tow.

Now it was just the two of you in the large hanger "I'm Cody." He said reaching out his own hand. He wouldn't do this to another other Jedi or general but it would be a tad uncomfortable if he didn't act like you were a normal person.

You took his hand gladly. "Nice to meet you Cody.. do you always wear that."

Cody almost wanted to roll his eyes and smile but reframed. "My armor yes, my helmet not so much." He unhooked his helmet quickly clicking it to his waist. "I'll show you the way to our mess hall."

You nodded and followed along. You stuck quite close when others seemed to crowd the hallway Cody noted. At least he'll never lose you.

He felt as your shoulder hit is torso once again.

Cody tried to promise himself a few things.

1. This was quite a waist of time- there was a chance you wouldn't even stay with their battalion

2. He could not let himself get attached. To many friends- brothers he cared for were marching on without him.

The new duo arrived at the mess now, chatter seemed to have quieted just a little bit- either to the fact that a marshal commander walked in or a young jeti that accompanied him.

He felt another bump slightly at his side again but the pressure stayed. He stared down at you for a moment taking it all in. Now most of the others stared at you too. Catching his glance you looked up at him nervously now.

Cody quickly cleared his throat. "Here this way is the food."

Tray in hand Cody scanned the area for an acceptable table for you too sit at. Some of his brothers wouldn't make your first day any easier than it was already going. Waxer and Boil sat at a far table, half of their kits still on... that was the better option Cody could find.

Wait why was he doing this? A marshal commander should be worrying about bigger things, not where the best place for you to sit is at the dinning hall.

Cody noticed a few thing, your food was gone in a recorded time beating boil himself. You fit in well with the two members of his squad which seemed to ease both of your nerves and Cody started to feel a little better about the situation.

Friendly chatter between you Boil, Waxer, and a few other brothers who were brave enough to come over too filled the mess around Cody.

He still wasn't keen on the situation but it was a start.

Cody slowly but surely started to warm up to you-

A few trainings together, meetings, studying, and even the first battle together.

-He realized that he was at a dangerous point. One he promised he wouldn’t get to. Cody was completely at your mercy. You could change the way he did things- his emotions. If anything happened to you Cody simply would be torn.

But Cody could be adaptable. He’d have too. To keep what he held dear to his heart.

Adaptable. He’s done it before.

—————————————————————

Taglist: @arctrooper69 @thereforepizza

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 23 !!!

I'm back batchers rip my sleep schedule lmao but nothing can stop me from watching tbb

I've got my skittles and my tumblr and disney+ and I'm ready to go 🤟

The Bad Batch 2x03

this entire planet looks like it's made of spice

nervous imperial you're not fooling anyone my dude

Tawni Ames 👑 shoutout to the queen herself Tasia Valenza 💕

CORUSCANT !!!

CROSSHAIR 🥺🥲😭💕❤ I missed you sm (I watched s1 hours ago 🤫)

another Kallus parallel 👀

regs will always hate tbb lololol

Rampart 🔫😁(me, I hate his guts)

32 rotations... 32 ROTATIONS I- 😫

the empire are bitches and we don't negotiate with terrorists

the memorial wall 🥲 (we're gonna pretend it isn't a bunch of random letters hehe)

a few behind Crosshair literally say: sdflkphi, dkniihqaz, aweututn, qqhgouer ~ anyone know more aurebesh than me who can explain this pls ??

he called him by his name !!!

CODY CODY CODY CODY 💕💕💕💕👑👑👑👑

Cody's face when Crosshair mentions the jedi 😭

the only two without their helmets on !!!

FLASHBACK TO THE FIRST BAD BATCH APPEARANCE IN TCW 👀

"mmhmmmm" ~ battle droid, bro 💀

"Dooku was right in the end" real

"We always get shot down when we travel with regs" 👀

"How unfortunate... for you" ~ someone else said this and now I can't find it 🙃 anyway I'm pretty sure it was Crosshair idk

the droid high five lmaooo

clever boys 👑

Crosshair and Cody team up will never fail to make me happy 👌

"I've beaten clankers with far less" tbb mention 🥲💕

Cody trusting Crosshair 🥰 "you do make things interesting" I'd love to see early Cody + tbb missions pretty pretty please 🥺

my mans doesn't even flinch !!!!!

I can feel his smirk when he blows up the tank hehe

Cody has a jetpack and still went nah Ican make that jump 😂 I mean he did but still

Cody complimenting Crosshair 💕

WYLER AND NOVA OWN MY HEART FR

droidekas !!!

Wyler r.i.p my love 💔

There is just something about clones vs droids ya know

Crosshair and Nova silent communication I love it 👌

Cody screaming for Nova and Crosshair pulling him away 😭😭😭😭

r.i.p Nova my beloved 💔

Crosshair's discs !!!!

backflip !!!!

knife knife knife knife knife- 👀

Crosshair calling for Cody to help 🙃

KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE-

Crosshair putting the puck in Cody's hand - bro at first I thought mans was too injured to move the way he was like 'throw it for me I can do it from laying down in this spiral staircase' and he makes the shot and stands up 2 seconds later and is back to committing war crimes ?? Crosshair you dramatic bitch 💀

"nice throw" "nice shot" 🥰🥰🥰🥰

notice how the tk troopers got captured so they send clones to get them out.... 🙃

Mina Bonteri 💔

"peace was never an option" devastating

the clone music when Cody reasons with Tawni 😫🤧

Crosshair following orders but also saving Cody from having to kill Tawni

the Crosshair music 🥲

"so much for peace" 💔

"put her body in the square" but I can imagine how gentle he would have been with her body... do you think he left his helmet off so the people could see his face or did he cover his face for that

Ok I want to go full english teacher for a moment I'll do it in a few eps watch this space 👀

Crossy and his lil toothpick 💕 (he just murdered someone)

the clones did the dirty work now more tk troopers arrive 😡

Cody's whole speech 💔😭 "we make our own choices and we have to live with them too" knowing he's thinking about everything he's done and thinking he killed Obi-Wan... what if I screamed into the abyss ???

Crosshair not being able to sleep 😫

Rampart doesn't even know their names 😡

OKAY do we think "gone awol" means Cody has actually left or is he awol the same way Wilco is??

COME ON CROSSHAIR JUST LEAVE THE EMPIRE ALREADY 😫

hehe thank you for coming to my 2am tbb rewatch (again hehe) 💕 sorry it's late again if you saw any spelling miatakes no you didn't 🤟

[lostfracturess]

omg nici i just read s&c and wanted to share my thoughtss w you <33

i freaking loved reader’s lil mental breakdown er i guess intrusive thoughts at the beginning during the aneurysm surgery, it was so realistic for the thought process as someone kind of derailing and when she came to the realization that she might be just as much of an adrenaline addict as satoru is i was GAGGED…like satoru really is getting inside her head (and i was doubly gagged when i realized SHE was literally inside someone ELSE’s head mid surgery) and idk if that was meant to be intentional or not but idc good grief you’re a genius nici i can’t praise you for it ENOUGH

Yet, with each precise maneuver, the thrill intensified. There was a sick satisfaction in holding that much power, in the knowledge that one wrong move and this fragile existence could be snuffed out in an instant.

i also LOVED this part so so so much. it’s no secret that surgeons are often to most egotistic n narcissistic people out there, and the way you describe it here, of a person having the control over a person’s life and how instead of frightening, sometimes that’s exhilarating in a self affirming way…love it. and then when you said too bad it wasn’t enough of a thrill for satoru…GAGGED AGAIN. but it’s curious too how you also mentioned he has no control over his own life, despite having so much control over others as his profession as a surgeon. i’m just— god ALL the parallels within such a short amount of time i am so fucking BLESSEDDD

AHHHH i had it spoiled in an ask you answered that suguru had feelings for reader and omg 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 ok i love s&c gojo but im SORRYYYY NICIIII I JUST THINK S&C SUGURU IS THE MAN FOR MEEE 😫😫 my heart really broke for reader though, where she was so close to helping someone she loves but suguru got in the way of it all. but i also understand suguru, bc he’s known gojo so long, i wonder if he just thinks gojo is beyond help at this point

There were other battles to save your strength for. And the battlefield of Satoru's furrowed brow and those piercing blue eyes that bore into you was a battlefield that already took all your strength.

im gonna CRYYY also omg if gojo knew about her fathers death day n thats why he wanted to push it back…i will be so soft aaa. WHY IS HE ALSO THE PERFECT MAN i cant i mean i guess he’s not PERFECT perfect but idc i can fix him i swear xD no but seriously having two hot doctor men lookin out for meeee 🤞🏼😫 reader failing those classes is also such a mood LOL. reader’s panic attack was also so well written omg.

Hypocritical, maybe, after your breakdown, but you didn't want his protection, not in this way. You wanted to fight your own battles, for better or worse. Stubborn pride — a desperate denial of how the grief, the unrelenting struggle, chipped away at you.

i LOOOOVE reader’s personality so fucking muchhh. she always stands up for herself even after pitfalls and shortcomings n i love that it’s not a delusional confidence but a self aware one.

"I know," he said, burying his face against his shoulder for a moment. "Just because we can't be together...It doesn't mean I've stopped loving you."

im gonna CRYYYYYYYY why dont u just RIP MY FUCKIN HEART OUT INSTEAD i physically felt this in my chest. omg their conversation here was so aghshdhdjd the ANGST. reader saying she didnt deserve what satoru did to her broke me. but i also love how sorta soft soken this convo is? no yelling at one another, or screaming, or insults that cut deep bc they know eachothers insecurities. its just so in contrast to what we saw w them in the last chapter and i think it’s nice they have this range of communication but also it shows just how exhausted the two of them are because of all the failed history btwn them ahhhhhh. also i cackled so hard when gojo said i love u but reader said i hate u pls xD they are so iconic

omg maki is a real one frrr she is a NO BULLSHITTER 🤞🏼🤞🏼i loved the convo reader had w her friends!! and the line ab the heart holding onto hope even when it’s not the most rational was so raw n real. i’m glad reader at least has different perspectives

i freaking love the science jargon so damn much omg 🙏🏼😫 i have forgotten absolutely everything from my degree but it slowly comes back to me when i read s&c and that makes me so excited. i swear when im a doctor someday imma come back n read s&c and be like gat dayum nici really did her damn research!! xD no but just in general i think the glioblastoma research is really interesting bc its such a challenging cancer to target and has such high mortality rate, BUT ALSO the thing they’re talking ab with the t-cells to create a fake immune response to attack the tumor cells (im assuming thats what theyre talking ab lol) is so cool and i think thats the basis of immunotherapy which actually has really promising clinical trials going on rn for cancer treatment which is so super excitinf!! would i sound lame if i asked you for the papers you looked through for this chapter xD ALSO BLOOD BRAIN BARRIER MENTIONED LETS GOOO genuinely one of the coolest fuckin things in biochemistry PLS AND THE CYTOKINE STORM NIKI PLEEASEEEE NEVER STOP W THE MEDICAL JARGON IN S&C IF THE MEDICAL JARGON HAS NO FANS IM DEAD its genuinely so interesting i get to learn ab breakthrough oncology research AND i get to fuck my fave?!! 😫🙏🏼 god bless u fr

edit: PLS YOU GAVE THE DOI BAHAHA also sorry i just saw u said not to interact w the science material LOL my bad i am just so excited rn i miss studying so bad

side note i love when ur satoru goes “ha?” like he’s so sexy for that and it’s so incharacter for him PLSLDFJH also damn he called us stupid woman AND reckless idiot in one chapter ✋🏼😔 like ok damn im dumb what about it?!?!????!??🤨🤨awwiie stopp im so soft for gojo rn he’s like practically cradling her to sleeeppp 😭😭😭 also PLSSS reader sleepily chanting the research is so real bahha like when u pull an allnighter for an exam n only have like a couple hours to sleep

nooooo omg reader visiting his grave is so sad :( and the fact she never even got to say GOODBYE…..im so sad. i love the underlying theme of grief in this chapter and also ADORE the depth you’ve given to reader sm. coming back here after reading the author’s note—PLSSS do not hesitate or worry to ass depth to the reader’s character!! i get the same way in my writinf where im like oh its an x reader no one cares to read ab the reader’s backstory but no it adds sm more to the story and only strengthens the narrative as well as the romance n connections within the story!! like bae if u want me to have a traumatic past then i’m here for it xD

omg the interaction w readers mom was going so well n cure n then i audibly gasped when she switched from sweet faced to rude at the mention of the research. its so sad how her mother is in denial, but i love how theres a contrast in the different ways that people grieve in a family. “i know she lost her husband, but i lost my father. i was grieving too.” AHHHH this is so painfully good, i love it <33 i really do love how reader chose herself in the end. learning to care for someone that is grieving i think can turn into codependency really fast, and i admire she took a step towards her career rather than staying back in a place that wasn’t healthy for her. but obv i feel for the mom too, it mustve been really hard to be left alone like that. i hope she can work her relationship out w her mom :””) i love everything satoru is saying to her rn, he’s so incredibly emotionally mature, and i really understand why reader believes in him n wants him to be better. he’s a great man that just needs a little bit of saving 😭❤️

OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHH the scene w satoru’s ROMANTIC SOLILOQUYYY my fucking heart he is so bridgerton man coded 🙏🏼😭 like the part where he talks about hsi HEART and his SOUL like DAMn thats on par w anthony’s speech to kate YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE AND THE OBJECT OF ALL MY DESIRESSS 😫😫🤞🏼🤞🏼 i need this man so bad omg shonda rhimes NEEEDSS to adapt s&c pls i’ll pay from my own pocket xD also reader randomly coming up w a breakthru for her research while she’s gettin the most romantic speech or her life is so fuckin funny n she’s so real for that AHAHAH and the futon bit was sooo cute

ALSO ALSO ALSO

I FREAKING LOVE THIS PART i love a little age gap romanceee n this was soooo hehehehe 🥴🤭 like yesss bb do declare how you have more wisdom on meeee now pls fuck me 🤞🏼😫

ughh the way he’s so domestic w reader’s mom is giving HUSBAND VIBESSS LIKE HELLOOOO THAT’s ur MOTHER IN LAW RIGHT THERE. also aw he convinced her mom to try therapy?? i fucking cant 😭 he is just 10/10 man in this chapter i want to sobbb when is it my turrnnn i want to marry him so bad

HELPDKDJHDHD WAI TWHAT HE ASKED FOR HER HAND IN MARRIAGE IM THAT CAME OUTTA NOWHERE LOL THE WHIPLASH I JUSt EXPERIENCED ICANT HAHAHA

wow i loved this chapter!! so much happened and it was all just S tier writing, S tier dialogue, S tier everything. i loooved the constructive conversations in this one, w reader’s friends, and w suguru, and w the mom, just soooo much about all the characters relationships w one another revealed in such subtle n powerful ways. HONESTLYYY i think this is my FAVORITE chapter of s&c so far, so marvelous :””) thank you SO much nici for all your hard work n care n effort you put into this story, you’re such a queen. much love from me ❤️

okay first, sorry for the late response, but i wanted to have enough time to reply to your message with the same amount and detail that u spend to send me this incredibly sweet message bc u deserve it !! you know, u have no idea how happy this makes me :'')) (but like as a writer yourself, you know the feeling when your heart is basically exploding we you see others obsess over small details in your writing like yourself, right ?? it's really the best feeling ever) <33

when she came to the realization that she might be just as much of an adrenaline addict as satoru is i was GAGGED…like satoru really is getting inside her head

yees, she slowly loses her own mind hahaa. and i wanted to show it there a little bit, that she slowly comes to the realization, that her motives why she does this medical thing might not be as altruistic as she thought and maybe she is just a little bit more like satoru than she wants to admit, oh myyyy hehe.

it’s no secret that surgeons are often to most egotistic n narcissistic people out there, and the way you describe it here, of a person having the control over a person’s life and how instead of frightening, sometimes that’s exhilarating in a self affirming way…love it.

think it's kind of unrealistic to say they just do it because they're altruistic, and i think it also has something to do with canon satoru, like he enjoys the thrill of combat and so does s&c satoru with like the thrill of surgery (and s&c reader too).

and then when you said too bad it wasn’t enough of a thrill for satoru…GAGGED AGAIN. but it’s curious too how you also mentioned he has no control over his own life, despite having so much control over others as his profession as a surgeon.

yeesss !! loved that part too <33 i think that's also why he clings to his surgeries and addiction so much, bc it gives him some illusion of control even tho it's like the exact opposite.

ok i love s&c gojo but im SORRYYYY NICIIII I JUST THINK S&C SUGURU IS THE MAN FOR MEEE 😫😫

ellie, stay strong for our blue eye princess !!! don't let yourself get distracted !!! ahhhhh !!!

my heart really broke for reader though, where she was so close to helping someone she loves but suguru got in the way of it all.

yes, it must have felt like the biggest betrayal. like, of course suguru had only good intentions but when u fight so long for someone to finally trust you, for him to accept your help and then it gets snuffed out in an instant ?? must feel devastating.

but i also understand suguru, bc he’s known gojo so long, i wonder if he just thinks gojo is beyond help at this point

yes, he does think that.

i LOOOOVE reader’s personality so fucking muchhh. she always stands up for herself even after pitfalls and shortcomings n i love that it’s not a delusional confidence but a self aware one.

ahhh, that makes me so happy !! i never know how readers react to it, and if it makes sense to others, so i'm SO GLAD that you understand what i wanted to transpire with her personality :'')) <33

omg their conversation here was so aghshdhdjd the ANGST. reader saying she didnt deserve what satoru did to her broke me. but i also love how sorta soft soken this convo is? no yelling at one another, or screaming, or insults that cut deep bc they know eachothers insecurities.

i LOVED writing this conversation !!! like it's so vulnerable it had me clutching my heart while writing ngl. reader understands him so deeply that she is so soft with him, despite her anger that is still very prominent there, but she swallows that anger to not force him to apologize to her or hurt him even more.

like she has every right to do so, and still chooses different. but then again, the anger is still there and she needs to say it one time, that she is indeed hurt and that it was indeed unfair of him.

but also it shows just how exhausted the two of them are because of all the failed history btwn them ahhhhhh.

yeeess, they are so exhausted at this point, it breaks my heart (i'm the author i know, this is my doing lol).

i freaking love the science jargon so damn much omg 🙏🏼😫 i have forgotten absolutely everything from my degree but it slowly comes back to me when i read s&c and that makes me so excited. i swear when im a doctor someday imma come back n read s&c and be like gat dayum nici really did her damn research!! xD

oh god ellie, you know more about this than i do, so please don't dwell too much on the medical details here because i'm 100% sure they don't make any sense ahahhah.

would i sound lame if i asked you for the papers you looked through for this chapter xD

noooooo, we love a curious mind ahhhh !!! but yeah, i wrote the DOI of the paper in the chapter notes hehe <33

ts genuinely so interesting i get to learn ab breakthrough oncology research AND i get to fuck my fave?!!

BEST OF BOTH WORLDS <33

side note i love when ur satoru goes “ha?” like he’s so sexy for that and it’s so incharacter for him PLSLDFJH also damn he called us stupid woman AND reckless idiot in one chapter ✋🏼😔

i can imagine him so vividly like that !! with his dumbfounded face, mouth hanging open, then he slowly raises an eyebrow and be like haaaa ???? and in his mind he is already undressing and fucking you rough lol.

i love the underlying theme of grief in this chapter and also ADORE the depth you’ve given to reader sm.

so happy to read this :'')) <33

PLSSS do not hesitate or worry to ass depth to the reader’s character!! i get the same way in my writinf where im like oh its an x reader no one cares to read ab the reader’s backstory but no it adds sm more to the story and only strengthens the narrative as well as the romance n connections within the story!! like bae if u want me to have a traumatic past then i’m here for it xD

ohhh and i'm happy to read we're on the same page with this !!

i love everything satoru is saying to her rn, he’s so incredibly emotionally mature, and i really understand why reader believes in him n wants him to be better. he’s a great man that just needs a little bit of saving 😭❤️

yeess, he's such a GREEN FLAG, he just a bit stupid and insane and an addict, but i mean ??? how can u not love him when he says things like that ??? ahhhh

OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHH the scene w satoru’s ROMANTIC SOLILOQUYYY my fucking heart he is so bridgerton man coded

this was his big ass bridgerton moment yeess hahaha. we love a man pathetically in love with his woman <<3333

also reader randomly coming up w a breakthru for her research while she’s gettin the most romantic speech or her life is so fuckin funny n she’s so real for that AHAHAH and the futon bit was sooo cute

priorities i mean ??? satoru can wait ahahha

I FREAKING LOVE THIS PART i love a little age gap romanceee n this was soooo hehehehe 🥴🤭 like yesss bb do declare how you have more wisdom on meeee now pls fuck me 🤞🏼😫

same girl, same !!! like, yes please tell me how the world works, bc i'm too stupid for it, but beware if you ever mansplain anything to me i'll kill u (and now choke me pls). <33

wow i loved this chapter!! so much happened and it was all just S tier writing, S tier dialogue, S tier everything.

ahhhhhh !! thank you so so much again for sharing your thoughts and emotions while reading the chapter, your insightful analysis mean so much to me :'')) i hope u find money on the pavement this week, i'm manifesting this for u !! <3 love you !!

[smolmakerel]

Ok, I saw a little hint of a Scream AU where I think Sam was Supergirl and they used Tara to control Sam since she was Kryptonian and stronger. I see you, and now I raise you one.

Arrow AU.

Rich and worrying about nothing in life, 18-year-old Samantha Carpenter boarded her father's, Mr. Carpenter's, yacht/boat. The storm happens and it goes down, and Sam has to endure the hell that is the island for five years.

Now, Sam is trying desperately to get back home. She saw the boat sink while swimming to the life raft with her father already inside, and then Mr. Carpenter ending his own life because he was too injured in the boat sinking. He wanted Sam to survive.

Sam wants her sister.

Meanwhile, Tara is having the absolute worst time of her life. Her older sister got on a boat even after Tara had a bad feeling about the random trip made spontaneously, but she still got on.

Christina is struck with grief and begins to drink herself into a bottle. Tara gets into Vertigo/other drugs to help cope with Sam's "death."

5 years go by and Sam is revealed to not only have survived the boat sinking, but she doesn't appear too fazed by it. People are wary of her because of her indifference to her own father's death, but she looks distraught every time someone mentions it.

(She doesn't want to tell anyone that dad knew. He knew Sam wasn't his from a book with a list of names inside. It was right in the front cover.)

Tara doesn't know how to talk to Sam without being snippy about it. It doesn't matter that Sam didn't want the boat to sink, Tara still doesn't know how to process Sam being gone for five years and then reappearing. Everything about her is more frosty.

And at night, if a woman dressed in dark green fabric is seen around the city, people are too terrified to comment. Especially when some of the biggest names in the industry are taken down for drug rings and other heinous things.

Sam crosses out names left and right. This city has been failed by just about everyone with economic/political status, including Sam herself. And they all need to give up their life to make the city better. Sam has already been through Hell and has been reborn.

However, as Sam kills these businessmen and women, she's thinking of Tara. Tara, who could potentially be hurt from toxic chemicals released into the air and water. (Another name crossed off.) Tara, who Sam sees getting into trouble with Vertigo, a new experimental drug. (A name, not on the list, but still crossed off.) Tara, who grew up all alone at 13 with only their mother who turned into an alcoholic. (Well, Sam yelled at her about her real father. No names crossed off technically, but Sam pays their mom a visit that night and gets shot. Wes, Tara's nerdy friend from school, helped her as well as her body guard Dewey [idk just go with it, I'm working it out lol], and she has a small team.)

A new archer showed up. He has similar and a lot of unfamiliar fighting techniques. He's dressed in all black, and a white mask of spray paint resembling a ghost is on his face. He's so similarly dressed to Sam, and that scares her.

He feels familiar, but Sam doesn't know why.

[bleedingcoffee42]

Some secrets will stay secrets. SIGH.

Especially, if you dig a little harder and read stuff from other Screaming Eagles like memories of Donald R. Burgett from A Company (I think) and George Koskimaki's antology of memories of people from whole division, Speirs shooting POWs seems to be nothing unusual and a lot of worse things has happened (as sad at it is). Bill was not a saint and did similar stuff and absolutely no one is bitching about him. What I want to say is, Winters saying he would have put Speirs on court martial - when I read it I was like, Dick? Seriously?. No one would have shot prisoners if there was no order and Speirs, imo, acted rather according to the rules not against them.

It just shows how communicating orders SUCKED in American army that time.

You know... looking at Sparky's popularity and the amount of time he was on screen and comparing it to Winters.... it shows that people prefer ambiguous characters? As much as I love Winters he is not my top five, because he is simply too GOOD. I think I like his fandom version a lot more than his show/book version, because people dig out his flaws and made him more human. That's why I immediately liked Nix more, then Harry and Sparky. Dick just suffers from, dunno, being the perfect main, I guess.

And well, Sparky in the show is a perfect example of an amazing character's journey, it's something people LOVE. We agreed already that you can love him or hate him, but you can't have no feelings and opinions about him. While Dick is, I think?, generally loved and you hardly can find anything negative or even neutral about him.

...Speirs could steal even spotlight, huh?

I think I had a point when I started writing but have no freaking idea what was it, lol. SORRY

MORE GRANT, BLESS.

Well, the power of Nix :D

I absolutely understand you and all I have is undying admiration and gratitude for the whole research work you SHARE with us. Some of the stuff is fucking amazing and I have no idea how you find it but that's some university level research. But I enjoy every little piece. Thank you so so sooooo much for it.

(Fingers crossed for watching GK in some future.)

Even the first layer of stories, there are a lot of admissions later on of things that were seen and done. War is hell, it happens. I agree it's interesting that Speirs becomes THE poster boy for it though. It's interesting when we have someone like Lieb who Dick was like 'He was rough with prisoners' but then he still sends him with the prisoners! Ambrose makes a point of saying "Winters and Lipton both said Speirs was the cruelest man they ever met" but nobody expands on that. Idk if its because admitting they saw and didn't stop implicates them or what.

I think what gets overlooked is it's little over 20 years from the last world war and a lot of these guys had relatives lost to that. A lot of these guys were kids of immigrants and were Leary of letting people know they spoke German more or less were German. (Muck spoke it but never told anyone and let people believe he was another nationality.) Malarkey repeatedly mentions Uncles who were still dealing with being gassed in WW1 and suffering because of it. It breeds a 'We wouldn't be here if we got rid of you last time' mentality. But I think that's just me applying some ghetto logic, someone comes at you who you know is going to make you keep watching your back for retaliation...you make sure they don't get back up.

Speirs has the draw of being the enigma and backs it up with bonafide bad-assery and hero of Foy. I don't think Lip's POV was overplayed, I think that Breaking Point ep was spot on with how they all felt they were going to get slaughtered following Dike's orders and out comes Speirs and just bing-bang-boom Let's go.

Dick is very squeaky clean in the show and I think that's great for the show.....but it really does crack you in the face when you get into his letters and stuff and you're confronted with him being more human than the show allowed. I love the show, I really do. I love that we have a book, a series, more books and letters and more letters and interviews and we're still finding stuff. It does kinda make him too much of a Boy Scout for personal tastes though, I get you.

I'm enjoying the search, a lot. It's adding a bunch of dimension to already intriguing people. I'd like to get my hands on the Craver appeal that probably explains WHY he was let out of prison 20 years after the war.

[uglypastels]

Personal rant incoming because i dont have anywhere else to put this or anyone else to share it with-

Thing is, I hate parties.

But I also know I need to leave the house every now and then and meet up with people my age and come out of my shell.

But my god it was horrible.

The second I got there, not even passed the theshold, the person behind me just says: oh my god I think we have the same costume. And yup. We did. Worst part was that I had already predicted it. Somehow, deep in my gut I saw it coming (while also knowing no one else would get it, which somehow was for the most part also true) and it just immediately sunk my tiny shred of confidence down because, sure its not the end of the world, but still, how fucking emberassing. Out of all the costumes. I just wanted to scream.

But instead, I walked inside and it just got worse from there. It's like all the things that inherently make a party a party were also designed to trigger me into a deep sense of discomfort. Stranger. Loud noises. Alcohol.

I have never been the most social person, but idk what the fuck has happened to me the last few years but its like the last few pieces of my confidence and social skills have been completely deteriorated. I just cant get a single word out. Even introducing myself, when I know I should, I cant. Just smile and wish I would die.

But at the same time, when I do try and speak up it's like I don't exist. No one ever acknowledges what I saw or do and i dont fucking know what I should do. Am I just not funny? Do they not give a shit? Am I truly invisible?

Did I mention, it's so loud. The music is shit (not all the time) and everyone is yelling over it and over each other. A million conversations crossing through the room and I'm unable to keep track, let alone participate in, any single one.

So I just sit there, hoping I'm not making everyone else unconfortable. Except I probably am. Sucking the fucking life out of everyone in my close proximity. I bet I ruined the night for my friend. She's also an introvert and we're both awkward but for her things seemed to go smoother. So then whenever things went quiet I knew it was my fault. I know I should say something but I have no idea what.

Also, being around people my age, as healthy as it is, just makes me sick because it makes me realise just how detached I am socially. How behind I am on life and its just a reminder of my horrible lack of a romantic life.

Not that its really important. I wasnt going there to find anyone. But when you walk into a room and basically 95% of the people there are in a relationship, and all conversations are about who dated who, why x and y broke up, people asking for dating advice.

And upon entering the party, you get warned to look out for this cute guy, coz he's single and kind of needy and looking to latch onto someone, and then your friends notice how, yeah, he's clung onto every single girl at the party. Meanwhile, you havent even seen him. But thats just how my life is. Its not like I actually expected anyone here to suddenly fall in love with me. (I really didn't. But it still heard to hear that)

Idk it was a stupid punch in the gut.

Oh and the fucking pictures. There was constantly someone snapping pictures with exteeme flash scaring the shit out of me and making me so fucking cinscious of everything I was doing and how I looked. And on one side of course it would be nice to have them as a memory keepsake and being one of those kids that never wanted to pose for pictures i get now that it is a bit of a shame, but still, when i hate how i look why would i want that to be memorialised in extremely unflattering light, around stranger and for all of them to see later too. [Actually getting sick just thinking about it]

Anyway, a few hours went by and I made some small talk. There were moments of niceties among the awkward silences and staring ahead in a dissociated state.

But the longer it went on, the more I just felt like crying and I grew so much more aware of my soul sucking presence. Coz fuck am I cockblocking my bestie over here by clinging onto her to have someone, anyone to talk to? I totally am bumming everyone out arent I? If thats even if they notice me of course.

But it still feels early to leave and the FOMO kicks in. As if I wouldc actually participate or make part out of anything that could happen tonight. I cant do it anymore.

So I left, and cried on the way home, and now i'm crying while writing this and just feel so pathetic and ugly and dump and incredibly alone.

[Rant over]

[calebs-hangout-corner]

(Long happy/?? rant incoming. Sorry, I just saw your account and had to talk to someone about this)

Ough. I've been thinking about when I read the original The Ghost Next Door book and it honest-to-God changed my mind or something because no book I've read so far is as of high reputation in my mind as that. Maybe it was because I was younger and hadn't read as much, but I have had it in my head for like a month now to Get That Book for myself. My school library has like twenty or so of the books but not that one!! When I saw the Goosebumps collection I was like "NO WAYYYY" but then I got really disappointed when it wasn't there. I need to ask the librarian if they can get it LOL.

Anyway, I remembered it again after going through a nostalgia blog and I searched the tag. Lo and behold, there was your blog! I don't remember any of the other plots very well (from the ones I read; the bookshelf where I originally read it was TINY and barely ever had GB books), nor any of the characters aside from Hannah and Danny, but nevertheless I'm enjoying your Goosebumps art and content a lot. Btw your art style is awesome. :D

I'm now desperate to find somewhere to watch the original 90's show. I've seen it's on Google Play or whatever and Microsoft, but I need to look into that. Help is appreciated, if you know where.

But I guess my question is: what books do you recommend? I like both the standard and the choose your own adventure ones (idk if there are any others). I read/started reading The Haunted Mask, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, Welcome to Camp Nightmare, The Ghost Next Door (duh), Let's Get Invisible, Monster Blood, The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, The Girl Who Cried Monster (I think. That's the one where the guy eats the bugs or whatever, right?), Escape From Camp Run-for-Your-Life, You Can't Scare Me, Scream of the Evil Genie and/or Be Careful What You Wish For (one of them, lol, maybe both. I think it involved a cola can?).

Any suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks for reading this long-as-hell ask and also thank you if you respond! Obviously, no pressure. Hope you have a great week and good things come your way!

P.S., you got me to start listening to the Goosebumps the Musical: Phantom of the Auditorium soundtrack and it's so good.

-👻🪐 (I hope emoji anons are okay, just in case there's a follow-up ask or something)

Hello!!! This message is very sweet and I had fun reading it, thank you! I'm sorry it took me a day to respond, I was a little busy!

I hope you're successful in finding the book. My library has the opposite problem: It has no books except Ghost Next Door (germany doesn't really sell them anymore, so they're hard to come by, even in libraries). Also, all the Goosebumps episodes you can find on YouTube somewhere! There's many reuploads of them.

As for books I'd recommend, you've already read a few of the ones I really like! But if you need more my favorites you haven't read from the series' you mentioned liking include:

- Phantom of the Auditorium (but like the book version! Very good, very fun, really emphasises the "the gang shares one braincell" part)

- Werewolf Skin

- Calling All Creeps

- Night of the Living Dummy 1 and 2, I've heard the third is good too but that one actually didn't manage to hold my attention, but maybe it will for you!

- Welcome To Dead House (This one's fun)

- Piano Lessons Can Be Murder (I just think it's neat)

- A Night In Terror Tower (Again, I just think it's neat!!), This one also has a "Give Yourself Goosebumps" sequel book "Return To Terror Tower) I recommend aswell!

- Beware, The Snowman!

As for the Give Yourself Goosebumps books I'm like "Please Don't Feed The Vampire"

Those are the books I'm fond of. It's a bit of a list, I hope you don't mind!