#idk if i'm just feeling lost and helpless
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#vent#DON'T REPLY OR REBLOG#i really really dont like the person ive become lately.#ive been irritable ive been snapping ive been having extremely wild mood swings#idk if the situations in my life are triggering me bc of my cptsd with familial instability#idk if ive just been so emotionally drained that any small disturbance or anything that “threatens” to disturb my emotional stasis#sets me off like crazy#idk if i'm just feeling lost and helpless#i know i've age regressed recently and i felt so vulnerable and weak and small#i hate when that's out of my control#i hate this i hate my emotional spikes and dips being so extreme#this sucks#this sucks so much
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I really truly genuinely do not want to let him go
#I'm in denial. what order are the 5 stages of grief#like. i don't want it to be true. if it's true that means i can't forgive him this time and i can't go back#that can't happen i can't lose him#idk what to do#i feel so lost and helpless#i can't believe this happened. I'm so sad#i just want things to be good again. everything was so good#why did it have to change#was it worth it? was it worth all my pain#i don't know what to do#and now i have nobody. he was everything to me and now he's gone#it's been years. doesn't that mean anything to him?#but he doesn't want to lose me either. he'll do anything to keep me#but it's too late. we can't change the past and i can't pretend it didn't happen#he can apologize and promise to change but it's too late#and i wish it wasn't. i wish we had more time together#and i wish i wasn't so sensitive and emotional and nostalgic and attached#a stronger person would have let go a long long time ago. and would do it now without hesitation#but i can't. how could i just give up without looking back? i can't#I'm so sad#Sera
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I HATE EBV!!!!!!!!!
#i want to cry straight up i played 2 rounds of beat saber with my brother like three days ago#and my leg muscles still hurt so bad even when im laying down not using them#my doctor told me not to do exercise that isn't mild and low impact because my mitochondria are damaged by my viral infection#and my cells can't power themselves efficiently right now#idk man i thought beat saber would be fine :( it WAS fine while i was doing it but a couple hours later it hurt badly to walk#i haven't dealt much with muscle pain before this. before the EBV reactivation i had back pain and joint pain and poor CV health#but i never felt like my muscles were just dissolving themselves like this. i feel weak and helpless.#also i'm trying to get a diagnosis for my GI issues right now and the lab lost 4 out of the 6 vials of shit i gave them for a stool sample#so i have to do that again. for the third time in like two weeks.#and if they come back without a diagnosis i have to get a colonoscopy and endoscopy#my health is just a wreck right now and i feel so useless spending 20 hours a day in bed most days#but what the hell else can i do. i just gotta wear my brave face and try to preserve my dignity#i want to stop being nauseous and in pain and so so so exhausted all the time. im so tired.
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The Plot Twist | 05
Written by @blog-name-idk and @eserethriddle
Summary: Once upon a time you would have jumped at the chance to live the idol girlfriend life. The cameras, the action, the whirlwind romance. But what was once a dream has now become your worst nightmare, and you fully intend to fight the universe as it repeatedly conspires to set you up with your seven perfectly good soulmates from Bangtan Sonyeondan.
In which we punt Y/N into all the fanfiction tropes and you do your feral best to subvert the love story.
Because nani the fuck, you are The Plot Twist.
Pairing: OT7 X Fem!Reader
Genre: Soulmate!AU, crack, humor, idol!AU, light angst, slow burn, romantic comedy, just a fun silly old time
Rating: 18+
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Chapter 5: "It's fine! South Korea has universal healthcare coverage!"
Of three things you are absolutely certain. First, soulmates exist. Second, the universe – and you don't know how potent its power may be – runs on some sort of karmic imbalance. And third, you are unconditionally, and irrevocably, fucked.
It is raining.
In a rare, extremely odd fit of forethought, you actually have an umbrella in your bag. Normally, you would scoff at weather predictions and dare the clouds to do their worst. But today, you found yourself grabbing your umbrella before leaving for your commute, and the skies that have darkened into an ominous, storm-like gray after your work shift do not phase you at all.
Today, your undoing lies in a different kind of disaster preparedness.
Hard water pelts down almost as if it is herding you, and you hurry from the assault of the rippling sky to the awning of a closed coffee shop to grab your umbrella. Expletives spew from your lips as you dig through your messy bag. You're so focused that you barely register someone also taking refuge from the sudden storm – a man wearing a mask and a bucket hat, but is shivering through a wet, black long sleeved t-shirt that's sticking to what looks like a very toned body.
Not that that's the type of thing you typically notice or anything.
"Found you!" you screech excitedly as you pull out your umbrella and brandish it at the sky. The man beside you flinches, like you're about to attack him, and you give him a disdainful look.
"S-sorry," he mutters, the brim of his hat still hiding his eyes. "I thought you meant something else."
Something else? Is he on the run from the mob, or fleeing the national military? The incredibility of either prospect nearly makes you snicker, but whatever, you need to get home before the storm gets –
BOOM!
– worse.
The thunderclap makes both of you jump, and you wince at the realization that the rain is coming down even harder. Unforgiving sheets of water pour down, and you can barely see even a few feet past the awning. Maybe you can get an Uber instead…
You pull out your phone to see no bars. No data, no phone signal, nothing. The guy next to you is shivering even more violently now, and you internally sigh. You can't just ignore him, not when helplessness is wafting off him in tenebrous waves.
"Do you have a ride coming?" you ask reluctantly, wishing you had been raised to be more selfish. Your mother does whatever the hell she wants, why hasn't she taught you the same? Though, to be fair, she probably would have been able to get the rain to stop by glaring. Perhaps someday, in your final form, you'll be just as powerful.
The man wilts and shakes his head, and you’re alarmed when you hear a sniffle. Shit, you are not equipped to handle a crying man. You're not even equipped to handle your own emotions.
"I – I left rehearsal because I had a fight with my hyung," the guy begins to share, morosely wiping his face with a wet hand that only leaves more moisture behind. His voice quivers, and despite your misgivings, the piteous sight of him tugs at your heartstrings. "And now I'm lost. I only have my phone, and it’s useless right now."
You start to feel a little sympathy for someone who's clearly been having a bad day. You're about to offer to share your umbrella to the nearest train station when he finally looks straight at you, meeting your eyes for the first time.
The patch of skin behind your ear suddenly tingles and–
Oh.
Oh.
The rain falls, lightning cracks, and your stomach drops in time with the crash of thunder that follows. Yet you can barely hear it over the sudden pounding of your heartbeat.
"Do you… Could you… If it's not too much trouble, could I walk with you to the train station?" Jeon Jungkook pleads, large doe-eyes gazing brilliantly at you from half of an unmistakable face.
This… is why you felt like bringing an umbrella today? Because of the universe and its cosmic–fucking–intervention?
The man across you fidgets, growing self-conscious as he waits for your answer. For a few long seconds, all you can do is stare numbly at him.
Are you going to have to assume every man you run into these days is one of your soulmates? How is this even possible?
You reach your decision in less than a minute.
Dejectedly, you hold out your umbrella wordlessly to Jungkook, and his face lights up. His smile does something unspeakable to your heart that you refuse to acknowledge. His expression scrunches – cutely, to your dismay – in confusion when you just hand him the umbrella. You shove a few crumpled bills from your back pocket into his free hand, careful not to touch his skin, and he looks completely baffled.
"For the train fare," you manage to choke out, already backing away into the unforgiving rain. It's coming down so hard the pelting drops almost hurt, but this is infinitely preferable to whatever the fuck the alternative is.
"What…? No! You don't have to – I just wanted to share – "
"It's fine!" you call over your shoulder, already twenty meters away and sopping wet in the opposite way to what the universe was probably trying to contrive. "Just get home safe! I'm sure your hyung is worried!"
With that you're off, leaving a very confused and equally charmed idol behind. Jungkook stares after the strange, kind girl, wondering why it feels like you're running away.
Pondering, he scratches the tattoo behind his ear.
He’s just about to run after you, but then his phone buzzes in his pocket, and he opens it in surprise to see a wall of text messages.
How odd. The signal bars are full now.
At the influx of messages from his hyungs, his argument with Jimin at the rehearsal studio floods back into his mind, and Jungkook sniffles again and dials the familiar number.
"What do you want?" answers a grumbling Jimin, filling Jungkook's chest with guilt.
"Hyung, I'm so sorry!" Jungkook cries, blubbering in earnest now, the familiar voice opening the floodgates until his tears almost match the tempest around him.
"Don't call me!" his hyung scolds, clearly still angry. And yet, he picked up the call when he could have just ignored him. Jungkook hears Jimin sigh, the sound static and long. "Fine. Where are you?"
"I don't know," Jungkook whimpers as another crack of lightning cleaves the air. Thunder follows soon after, and he hopes that you're okay, wherever you've gone.
“What do you mean you ‘don’t know’?!” Jimin demands, suddenly all love, all worry. "Tell me where you are and I'll come get you."
Ah… warmth. This is what his team has taught him: brotherhood, love, and family. To be angry, to piss each other off, but in the end be willing to drop everything to help one another.
Something the stranger had done despite having no need to.
"I don't know where I am," Jungkook replies, already feeling a little better. "But I'll take a taxi home. S-someone gave me some money."
"Come safely. I'll wait outside for you."
Before Jungkook can protest, Jimin hangs up. The maknae can't help but smile despite how stressful the day has been. Between his team members and the kindness of the girl from earlier, his chest feels warm and fuzzy, driving away the cold and the gloom of the gray skies and icy rain.
He just wishes he had gotten your name.
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Fuck.
You wake with a head full of cotton and a nose more clogged than a toilet at an American WacDonald's. Feeling like death, you drag yourself out of bed to the bathroom, force yourself into a scalding hot shower that – for a blessed moment – clears your sinuses. You get ready for work, and by the time you're ready, you at least look put together, though inside you're already wishing you could crawl back under your covers.
Any other time, you might have taken a day off to not inflict your coworkers with your germs, but today is that stupid executive meeting and you can't afford to miss it.
You pop some cold medicine into your mouth, mask up, and get to work early, because despite your utter lack of care when it comes to your personal life, you are a demon in the office.
"[Y/n]!" calls Mijoo, one of your favorite administrative assistants. It's for that reason and that reason alone that you pull your head away from your screen to give her a smile she probably can't see through the cloth of your mask.
"Hey," you greet, clearing your throat and relieved you haven't hit the "uncontrollable cough" stage of your cold yet. "What's going on?"
"Soonyoung is freaking out about something again," she replies quietly, casting her eyes over to the corner office where your Senior Vice-President resides.
You're not sure if he ever actually leaves the building.
You sigh. This is a big project, one that is being presented to the company execs, and you really need everything to go perfectly. It's a good thing you got here early.
"When I finish here, I'll go talk to him," you say reluctantly, making Mijoo shoot you a smile of relief.
After you've confirmed that everything should as expected, you push off your desk, letting your chair roll backwards. Then you slip your feet back into your heels, stand, and give a lazy stretch of your limbs before heading to put out the fire, rolling your shoulders as you do so.
Through the glass surrounding the door, you can see your VP frowning at his computer screen, gray brows knit in some sort of frustration. You knock twice, and he looks up, still frowning. It vanishes as soon as he realizes it's you, and with a grin he beckons you inside.
"[Y/n]! Thank goodness," he said in a relieved voice, already angling his monitor so that you can see. "I can't get VLOOKUP to work!"
You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from saying something you shouldn't, instead ambling over to help the dinosaur who is (hopefully) planning on retiring soon. Why is someone so high up even messing with spreadsheets, anyway? You barely have time to do any hands-on work at this point, and all you manage is your own team.
"It's tricky," you agree fondly, humoring him not because you have to, but because he kind of reminds you of your grandpa. "Here, let me help."
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Your next meeting also has an unusually high number of execs, and you frown as you recall the vague wording of the invite. You settle in a chair next to your work friend slash rival Jaesung, who looks just as confused as you feel.
"Any idea what this 'very important meeting' is about?" you whisper in his direction, and he shakes his head.
"No clue, but there are rumors that there's something big coming up," he whispers back. The two of you are unable to speculate any further, however, as your CEO appears. What the hell?
By the time the meeting ends, you are torn between laughing and crying hysterically. The execs have announced the planned launch of a top secret flagship product, one that the company is expecting massive returns on due to a collaboration with – because this is your life now – motherfucking BTS.
And then VP Soonyoung stands, looks at you and Jaesung proudly, and says that as two of his best people, you will be spearheading the marketing and sales efforts. He adds, with an elderly jovial laugh, “Both of you will even get the chance to meet them, so go get your autograph plaques ready!”
As if you needed to be disincentivized!
"You’re so lucky!" wails Mijoo as you sit in your cube, where you have been staring woodenly at your computer screen for over five minutes now. She thinks you're in joyful shock, and maybe, it definitely is shock. The electric chair kind.
It's bad enough that you had to spend an entire wonderful excruciating evening with Hoba – Hoseok – and he is now aware of your existence, even if he hasn't realized you're soulmates. But now this?
You mull over filing for your immediate resignation, which only adds to your headache. Eventually, you conclude that your time and compensation package from Samsong are just too good, too unbeatable, and… you’ve grown as a professional here. People respect you, value you for you, and you absolutely love working with your personally curated team.
The problem is the universe keeps testing your limits. Executive meetings? Easy. Flagship product development? Doable with the right people. But passionate, self-consuming cosmic schemes involving the world’s biggest boy band in the guise of soulmateship?
You’d rather get hit by a car.
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The universe hates me.
That is your last thought as you hear the squeal of tires on pavement and the frantic honks of a car horn before you're suddenly staring up at the sky, pain flaring throughout your entire body.
A man gets out of the black Hyundai Palisade with tinted windows, and you suddenly wish that you had been truly run over with no hope of recovery. Of course it's Kim fucking Namjoon of BTS, and he's looking at you in a mixture of panic and concern that makes your heart flutter despite your best efforts.
"Oh my god, are you okay?" he asks, to which part of your brain thinks, What a fucking idiot of course I'm not. The other half stupidly admires the broad set of his shoulders, the strange mixture of grace and clumsiness as he stumbles over to your battered body.
Wait.
You return to your senses, and begin to push yourself back up to your feet.
"Yep, totally fine!" you insist through gritted teeth, ignoring the way one of your legs is twisted awkwardly, and the flare of agony that permeates your body when you're able to bring yourself upright. "It was my fault anyway!"
It wasn't, but you're not going to stick around to let this play out.
You begin to limp away as fast as your contorted ankle allows, ignoring the flabbergasted expression on Namjoon's handsome face.
"I – can I at least pay for your medical bills?" he asks as he takes a tentative step after you. You hobble faster despite the burning pain in your legs.
"It's fine!" you call behind you, getting a regrettable glimpse of his beautiful, worried eyes. "South Korea has universal healthcare coverage!"
Unfortunately, you can only wobble so fast until the physically fit, able-bodied man catches up to you. By this point, your vision is fuzzing with strange dotted lights and your body doesn't feel quite real anymore. Namjoon's hand touches your shoulder, and you turn around to tell him off. Instead, you feel your legs buckle and strong arms catch you before everything goes black.
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"You keep appearing in unexpected places, and often." Jimin swallows, his heart beginning to race. "Your skin is always covered up. You don't eat or drink anything when I'm around."
He takes a deep breath, knowing you're just a step behind him.
"How old are you?"
You hesitate – just barely – before you reply.
"Twenty-five."
"... How long have you been twenty-five?"
"A few months."
A few months. A few months since he's moved into your apartment complex. A few months since the strange not-quite-ennui and melancholy has begun plaguing him. A few months since you have turned of age to manifest your soulmate connection.
"I know what you are."
He feels your body tense behind him, and a thrill runs down his spine. When you speak, he can feel your breath on his neck.
"Say it."
“Soulma–”
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Kim Namjoon looks anxiously at the nurse checking your vitals as you lay prone on the hospital bed, wishing he could do more to help.
"I think – I think she might have hit her head," he offers, for the tenth time, thinking about the way you had tried to run away on what the nurse is reasonably certain is a badly sprained ankle. The nurse gives him a tight smile, because one does not simply roll their eyes at the leader of Bangtan Sonyeondan, no matter how many times he's said the same thing.
"We'll check for it," the nurse promises, soothing the tall man. For the time being.
Namjoon chews on his lip as he gazes at you, wondering what your story is, what kind of past would drive you to such strange lengths.
For some reason, he itches to hold your hand, but that would be completely inappropriate from a total stranger. Especially when it could cause dating rumors if anyone gets a glimpse or a picture. His manager is already going to kill him for chasing down an injured girl in broad daylight.
His eyes keep getting drawn back to your face, peaceful in sleep and – dare he say it – quite pretty. Very pretty. Beautiful, even. And you had felt so soft and nice in his arms, warm and –
"Sir, please stay seated while I finish here," comes the nurse's tired voice, and Namjoon realizes he's gotten up and has an arm outstretched to stroke your cheek.
"Uh, sorry," he stutters, face burning as he sits back down. What the hell is wrong with him? Why does he feel drawn to this very strange, very lovely girl?
A soft groan tears Namjoon out of his spiraling thoughts, and his gaze shoots to your form as your eyelids flutter open.
"Wha – " you ask blearily, waking up from the weirdest parody dream of the world’s best vampire movie ever. Shifting in your bed, pain contorts your face and you let out a hiss. "Ow!"
Namjoon rushes over, and your mouth drops open when you realize who he is. Before you can react, he's holding your hand in his, and he staggers as something in the universe fundamentally shifts. By your gasp, you're experiencing a similar sensation, and you yank your hand out of his grip before he can get his bearings.
"Your leg seems severely strained," the nurse explains, blissfully unaware of the way the world is tumbling around the both of you. "We'll need to do x-rays to make sure it’s not broken."
"I'll… get a wheelchair…" Namjoon says, in a daze, desperate to be of help even as his mind races to understand what is going on. He stumbles outside of the room, desperately hoping that a moment alone will help him get his thoughts in order and help him find the right questions to ask.
Apparently these are questions he won't receive answers to any time soon, because by the time he's back, the room is empty. The nurse follows after him, and looks around in confusion.
"Where'd she go?" the nurse asks, and Namjoon wishes he knew the answer. Who are you? Why are you so hellbent on getting away from him?
And why does holding your hand feel like home?
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That was too close. Too fucking close.
You pull yourself onto the bus by the railing, ignoring the driver's confused, concerned expression as he takes in your hospital gown and the way you're wincing in pain. You swipe your card, only vaguely aware that everyone behind you can see your rump through the poorly tied flaps of the gown.
It's fine. Your dignity is unimportant compared to the bulletproof boy scout you just dodged.
You drag yourself to a handicapped seat – if there's ever a time you can confidently sit in one, it's now – and fall into it, finding an angle for your leg that gives some sort of relief.
Despite the pain, it's the warm feeling in your hand you can't stop thinking about.
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Kim Namjoon is at a loss.
Despite searching the entire hospital, the mysterious girl was nowhere to be found, vanishing from the premises as if she were never there. Still, out of personal guilt and liability, Namjoon lingered, offering to settle the missing girl’s hospital expenses, but the charge nurse expertly dismissed his generosity once it became apparent that he did not know you at all. He couldn’t even give them your name, or any proof of relation, and the rest of the staff quickly became tight-lipped around him.
Even Kim Namjoon, the illustrious 148 IQ leader of BTS, can’t argue against health privacy laws.
Since leaving his phone number with the charge nurse – his final, desperate effort – Namjoon has been staring at his phone, waiting for any news about you… news that simply never comes.
That same evening, he walks into the band’s shared dormitory with aplomb.
Single-minded, he heads straight for the living room and picks up the remote control off of the coffee table.
The flatscreen TV goes dark, and Kim Taehyung complains, “Hyung, no! What gives!”
Jungkook cries in offense, shooting up from the sofa, “My vampire baseball scene!”
Namjoon deigns them both with a long-suffering look. “We need to talk, so call the team.”
His assertive voice, usually reserved for critical matters and scolding, makes Taehyung and Jungkook abandon their emotional support movie in favor of gathering the rest of the group.
One by one, the boys pile into the living room from separate parts of the apartment at Namjoon’s behest. Most of them are sporting rumpled clothes and bedheads, save for Jimin, who looked ready to leave for his own place.
Namjoon announces, “There’s something I want to discuss. A… possibility.” He clears his throat. “A girl.”
"That's what you interrupted our movie for?" Taehyung asks, indignant. "A crush?"
Hoseok lets out an immediate sigh of relief. “Is that it?” And then he pauses, scratching at his nape, “Well, me too, I guess.”
Jimin’s eyes brighten. “No way, hyungs! Me too!”
When Jin, Jungkook, and Taehyung concede that they've also had a run-in with a very memorable girl recently, a new suspicion blooms in the back of Namjoon's mind.
Could they be talking about the same girl?
Though unlikely, he decides to ask, “Did any of you manage to get her name?”
Jin nods, seriously. “G0d$l@yeR_69.”
Namjoon shoots him another long-suffering look.
Hoseok stays silent, if only because his memories of you are one of the few non-idol centered things he still holds onto. Besides, his girl can’t possibly be their girl, too. The odds of that happening would be astronomical.
It's not so wrong to want to keep one aspect of his life to himself… right?
“Sorry, I… I didn’t get her name,” Jimin lies, for the same reason Hoseok keeps quiet. Besides, even if Jin is interested in you, Jimin's your neighbor! He should get first dibs! He's not going to give up your name so his handsome, charismatic hyung can find you and woo you before Jimin even has a chance to try.
"What's this important meeting about?" asks Min Yoongi, walking into the room with a mug of coffee in hand.
"A girl," Jungkook replies, somewhat dreamily, remembering the guardian angel that saved him that rainy day. Yoongi rolls his eyes and immediately turns around to leave despite Namjoon's protests. He has more important things to do than sit around gossiping, especially since he has a meeting with Samsong tomorrow about their new collaboration.
There's a hubbub behind him, a thump, and a curse from the ungainly leader as Namjoon's prized George Nakashima coffee table claims yet another victim. Yoongi's toe throbs, and he sighs.
"There's a first-aid kit in my room." He calls over his shoulder as he goes. "Knock yourselves out."
Far away, in a clinic near your apartment where your ankle is being put into a brace, you sneeze.
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Masterlist | Next
#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#bts ot7 x reader#ot7 x reader#bts soulmate au#soulmate au#eserethriddle#reveri#fruit party 🥭🍒
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𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚈𝚘𝚞 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝙳𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)
Synopsis: You're the newest addition to Wolf'Lo and is Bada's girlfriend. You're pretty much new to the hiphop and dance scene, not much is known about you so when your team joined Street Woman Fighter, you got the second highest 'no respect' votes from other teams.
Warnings: idk slight angst if you squint enough?? Bada doesn't give a damn attitude and cursing
(A/N: I'm working on the requests after that series because damn i have a lot 😭 and thanks anon for being so patient. I mean this req is like a month ago 🤧🤧)
🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊🦊
"Hey, hey it's okay Y/N. We just prove that you're more than a pretty face and that you're actually good at what you do." Halo comforted you as you were on the verge of crying since you got the highest no respect vote in your group. You kinda expected it but it still hurt you and you felt like you're a huge burden to your group.
"I'm really sorry.. I promise I'll do my best to get wins for us.." you told your team and they hugged you. Chocol, Yeni and Haechi tried their best to cheer you up while Mini brushed and braided your hair gently in an attempt to calm you down and Baby Sleek trying to pep talk you. You really love your team since they felt like family to you, they care so much for one another and are just really good support system.
When it was time for you to battle, it wasn't pretty. You did get some wins but there are times you lost. After each loss, you felt like you just died inside and all you wanted to do was run and hide away, too ashamed to face anyone, to ashamed to face your group and to face your girlfriend, Bada Lee.
Bada watched you battle against other participants. She's extremely proud of you whether you won or lost but she's also very worried about you as she could see tears brimming your eyes at every loss you took. She knows you're hating yourself and thinking you didn't give enough, that maybe you really weren't built for a life of competition and all Bada wanted to do is run up to you and just hold you close, reassure you that you did great and that she's extremely proud of you.
When you were finally done, you immediately ran up to your group and began to sob on their arms. You felt like a failure, you had more loss than wins and you feel like you could've done better. Your teammates tried to calm you down but you kept crying and blaming yourself for not doing enough, apologizing to them for losing. They felt helpless and seeing you crying really pains them. You're like the baby of the group and they love you like a real sister so it pains them to see you that way.
Bada couldn't bear just watching you cry so without even thinking, she just ran up to where you sat with your group and just held you tight. She doesn't give fuck if the camera caught that or if people are watching. What matters to her is you and only you. She pressed kisses against your head and just rubbed you back, whispering sweet nothings until you were finally calm enough to look at her and your team, all looking so worried about you.
"You okay, Y/N? Aigoo.. You really cried a lot and we're panicking because we couldn't calm you down.." Mini asked and you nodded your head, still sniffling. Yeni handed you your water bottle while Bada assisted you in drinking. Other teams were looking, a bit confused about what's going on and why the hell Bada ran up there to your rescue.
"You did great, okay? You did so great and we're extremely proud of you. You did everything you could but it's a competition, sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. What's important is we enjoyed." Halo smiles and pats your head while you wiped your tears away. Bada gave you a tight hug before wrapping her jacket around you.
"Listen to your unnies, my baby. We're very proud of you, I'm very proud of you. You did so well and you definitely proved that you're not just pretty, you're also a very good dancer. I'm gonna go back to my team for now, okay? But I'll come pick you up from your hideout later so I can take you out on a date because you deserve it so much." Bada's words brought a smile to your face and you nodded eagerly. She chuckles and went back to her team who teased their leader for being so whipped for you.
"We were all confused as to where you ran off to and then we saw you hugging Y/N-unnie.. I'm not gonna be surprised if a clip of you doing that ends up on instagram and the choom's YouTube channel." Tatter said and Bada just playfully rolled her eyes at her team. Her cool image is definitely out now when she did that but she doesn't care. She just loves you and cares about you a lot. Comforting you on her bad days is so worth over any reputation she have.
The filming for the day concluded, your team gave you lots of hugs before sending you off with Bada after you all decided to go have some barbecue the next day for lunch to celebrate because your team pretty much did a good job during the battles. Bada ruffles your hair and wrapped an arm around your waist as you made your way to where she parked her car. She wanted to treat you out since she knows that you're tired and still very emotional from earlier.
"You really think I did good earlier?" You asked Bada as she was driving. She reached for your hand and gave it a kiss. She knew you're still doubting yourself from what happened. It pains her but it's all part of being a dancer and life in general. It's not a smooth sailing ride.
"You did more than good, babe. You did so well.. Kyma even wanted you to teach her because she found your style really cool." She replied and you smiled, shaking your head in amusement.
"I may recruit Kyma in my team. You better watch your back now." you joked which made Bada laugh and playfully pinched your cheek. She's glad that you're okay now and she's glad that she's still able to make you laugh despite everything.
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Hi congrats on 500 i would like to request for ateez ot8xfreader
IS THIS THE END?
Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader
Genre: Lore Au, Angst, Mystery
Warnings: crying, mention of death, fever dream, many flashbacks, loneliness (major warning is this is mixture of sad and happy fic, idk why am feeling so down in this spooky season.)
W.C: 5.3k
Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!
Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity
dear Anon! ( I'm sorry if you wanted something spicy or fluff but i instead of these two, wrote something very different. i hope you may like it. Please let me know.)
Standing in front of this place seems different now, no more those chaos, those laughs echoing through the huge space, those smiley faces running around the street and getting shelter inside the huge place. Street is just now a silent and abandoned place without those lively beings occupying the area. Your fingers touch the cheeks to feel the wet sensation only to realize that you are crying, Crying for what? You don’t have hope for anything to return to its origin, right? Nothing can turn back. You are lost, they are lost and everything is lost. This place is lost without you all. Are you still going to keep a hope within yourself for, for them. Why? Everything is clear to you. You have seen those faces, those words, that scene still haunting you every day, every second and every moment and even now. Your heart aches on those thoughts but never you are caring to soothe it. It’s only because you don’t know how. How can you say to yourself that everything is alright when nothing is in its place, not even your mind and your heart.
Please.
Please what? Is there someone to listen to your pleadings, to listen to your heartbreaking cries every night and to see your helpless state? No. No one is going to pull you into their arms and rub your back with whispers, ‘Shush….its okay…I’m here. Nothing can hurt you. I’m here.’
I am here. Nothing can hurt you.
You are still here but everything is hurting as you are here alone. You are not with them. Them? Is it just them? Are you really going to refer them like this? They are your ‘home’. A safe place. The warehouse in front of your eyes is the only home to you and to them.
Taking few steps closer to the big metal door, binding with chains and locks, your hands fish inside the pocket for the keys. Hastily, you unlock the different locks and pull the chains and throw them to the side, not caring if they are okay to use afterwards. Your mind is just focused on one thing and that is to enter the place. Gripping the big handles in your hold, tears flowing continuously and so you close your eyes. You are ready to push the door but a memory flash across your mind.
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“Welcome to the Wanteez.”
Chuckling, you asked the person, “Wanteez? Why such a name? like, are you wanted?”
Standing in front of an old abandoned building with rusted gate, with some graffiti sprayed across the door and the walls all around, one name is quite repeated ‘WANTEEZ’ and also there are some other things repeated like their names and ‘Heart Awakened Live Alive’ and ‘Hala-zia’. Them and their names, both are weird.
“Yeah something like that. You know why as hear clearly, the loud beats of the music is coming from inside and guess you know, people don’t like citizens like us causing disturbance in the society.”
“So? You guys are enjoying yourselves and why does it matter to those others, they can simply ignore it. It’s not like anyone lives around this place. The nearest house is much far away from here to reach this sound. Unless, you are playing the speakers in front of their house. I would do this if anybody had complained anything about me.”
He laughs loudly along with you on your comment, “There’s more to this, you know. People assume us that we are some sort of gangsters and we are doing illegal stuffs behind everyone’s back. The government and police are always attentive to this surrounding to find any little proof against us to claim us as the criminals.”
“Are you?”
“Huh?” His face turns into a frown and his confused eyes staring back at you.
“The way this place looks like, I must believe you guys have some illegal shits up your sleeves.”
Before he could reply you back, you both feel someone’s hand around your necks.
“What are you both doing here? So, you finally brought our girl to this place.”
You smile to this intruder between you both but you are really happy to see him so energetic like always.
“Yes, Woo. Joong finally brought me here after so much whining and ta da I’m standing in front of the building.”
Wooyoung is the one who is always hyped up with silly matters and trying to lift up everyone’s mood in every situation. The way he takes care of everyone and other’s need is very adorable. Being one of the youngest member, he is referred as the menace also because of his mischievous acts but he is the first one to jump in for you if you are in trouble. The most clingy one and your favorite one in this family. But hush, don’t let him know about this as he would be going to shove this on everyone’s face.
Hongjoong removes his friend’s hand from around his neck and walks towards the gate and before he could pull it open. Wooyoung gives you a mischievous smile and holds your hand and makes a run towards the gate.
“Let’s go….”
“Woo...I will fall. Slow down.”
With other hand, he pushes open the door and left Hongjoong cursing at him
“I swear Wooyoung….”
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You push open the door.
Darkness reflects back to you but the full moon day spreading its light inside, slowly clearing your vision and those memories of coming here and spending time fills your mind. Your eyes are blinded not with the darkness of the room but those happy days replaying in front of you.
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As soon as you step inside the warehouse, your hand still in his hold, you come to a halt and take heavy breaths. With calming yourself and fixing your posture, you look towards the centre of the warehouse, where six other boys staring back at you, some confused and some with soft look on their face. With a quick smile towards them, your eyes follow the interior of the place, some small high widows lining the upper end of the walls on your sides and also huge ventilators, old and somewhat rusted rods attached to the pillars for arranging their stuffs. Many of their items spread across the floor, food packets, clothes, shoes all scattered near a corner, basket ball and different kinds of flyers. You pick up a flyer near your feet and eyes scan the photo and description, some men in black outfits of coat and masked and fedora hat with chains decorated on them. ‘wanted’ written at the top of each flyer.
Those flyers still scattered around you. Tears blurring your vision, legs feeling weak, hands shaking by your side. With shaky steps, you walk towards the sofa, covered with a layer of dust and memories. Taking a seat, your hands caress the material.
“Who are they?”
You look at them with curious eyes but none of them answer you, only Hongjoong snatches away the paper from you and throws it aside. Furrowed eyebrows and pouty lips staring at him, he just gives away a dry smile.
“Nothing, its just something which is not your concern or…any of us.”
Your attention moves towards the speaker where the song has been changed to a different melody. It’s a very soothing one from the previous one and you can see Yunho memorising his steps while looking at the mirror. Seonghwa and San by his side and Wooyoung grinning beside them.
“Well, I don’t care about these mysterious men but I care of these three not acknowledging my presence. I feel so neglected and hurt.”
You make a fake crying expression to which Wooyoung stick out his tongue and Seonghwa flick his head and comes near you and now you are grinning to the scene.
“I cant ignore my girl ever.” His warm palms over your cheeks, soothing your every nerve from the exhaustion since the morning. He has that magic of warmness and healing in himself for which you always run to him for warmth like the heat in winter afternoon.
“I don’t believe you. Also, why is this place so dirty?”
He lets out a groan on your question to which everyone laughs and you jokingly glare at them.
“I have to clean this place all alone and everytime these idiots have to destroy it afterwards.”
You keep a neutral expression for few seconds and one two three you burst into laughter. And now everyone has abandoned their previous individual works and attention focused on you. Only you.
Maybe they are friends since childhood and you are a new addition to the group but you are the most precious part in their life. They have their own individual stories and some of them has shared a little part of their life with you and some just gives you tight smile whenever you want to know about them, like Hongjoong, the leader of this group. He has built this whole friendship circle and the last one to meet you. You don’t know much about him but still you trust him, have faith on him that whatever he does or is going to do in near future is nothing wrong. It means no harm to anyone but you fear for him. He keeping his life and feelings aside, always caring about his friends and you.
Will he be safe?
The second person you don’t know much about is the person standing in front of you, Seonghwa. He has a very strict family and always, he needs to follow their rules and regulation on everything as if every second of his life is already scheduled and he cant have his own way and this is the place where he met hongjoong and now this hideout is the escape place for him. This cold abandoned place has the warmness only because of him. He also gave you a bracelet which has a sensor and signal technology attached to it, of course made by yeosang so that they can know if you are in any danger or not. The way a bracelet braces your wrist like a protectiveness. He is always there like a protective barrier to you.
“I thought you will take my side but you are literally laughing like them.”
“I’m sorry Seonghwa but you looked so funny while complaining. Its not like I’m a tidy person myself so….”
You walk towards Wooyoung and snatch the packet of snacks from him, ignoring his whines. Munching on some, satisfied with the spicy chilli-peppered flavour, you again go near the eldest one.
His confused eyes keenly following your every move and his eyes go wide when you a bundle of papers which are kept in a place altogether on the table in front of the sofa.
“What the hell….”
Wooyoung skipping steps towards you, messily throw some other stuffs towards Seonghwa and others joined in the fun too. That’s how the chaos filled with some running after others, scolding, whining and laughs echoed throughout the place.
Whatever their individual life was, one thing was common among them. It’s you. Their precious treasure in life. You were their everything. You were meant to keep safe by them as you were their only hope in life.
To be their light.
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Your gaze falls on the diary still kept in the place where it used to be on the table. You don’t know exactly to whom this actually belongs to but you know, this is most important thing to them. Maybe was. They are no more here to keep this diary. You put the diary in your backpack when you notice a drone placed in a corner and you know that’s broken.
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“What are you doing Yeosang?”
He is still connecting the wires and testing his remote, not aware of your presence behind him. You place your hand on his shoulder for him to get startled and the drone on which he was working fell from his hand.
“Oh…I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you…”
“Y/N. Its you. I thought….Leave it. What are you doing here today?”
“Wooyoung has a dance battle later this evening and he asked me to go there to watch his performance. So, your eyes are blessed with my beauty.”
He chuckles. Taking the drone in his hands, he gets up to put it on a shelf nearby. He is the quietest one in this group and the reason is very clear. Somehow, like Seonghwa his life is also controlling one but in a different way. He belongs to a royal family from the city, Sector 1. He has an image to be maintained and also his father doesn’t like him to be friends with others who don’t belong to any royal blood. He is the first one you met. You first met him while you were returning home from school and he was standing in the middle of the road looking up at the sky, maybe questioning about himself. About his life. That’s how you become friends when you two met often at that street and that’s how he introduced you to Seonghwa at one convenience store. Yeosang is very talented in every stuff but outstanding when it comes to technology. You know his secret feelings about everything as he only shares such things with you. And you are always there to listen to him. You are his little blue bird to keep the secrets safe. A bird of hope.
“lets go.”
“where?”
“Come on. Don’t you wanna see how well Yunho choreographed Some steps for Wooyoung?”
You gladly accept his hand and go to the other room where both of them were practicing to a song, you heard it before from them ‘To the beat’.
Both of them are very passionate when it comes to dancing. You love to see the rage behind their eyes to make every step to a perfect level and until they are satisfied, they are repeating the steps again and again.
“Yunho, why don’t you go to the dance battles as well?”
The music is already paused by the other to get some water and so your words are well audible to the tallest one. You could see a sad expression flick to his eyes but quickly he sends a wide smile towards you. This does not ease your worry for him. He doesn’t share much with you but he is the most comfortable person to spend time with. He is the one to give you hug after a long day, to give you the feelings of having an older brother. Brother? Is that he to you? You don’t know what they are to you. But they are everything you need. He is a perfect brother for his friends in this place and a perfect man for every girl out there. And for you?
You feel hands engulfing you in a bear hug. You smile widely, snuggling to the chest, knowing who this is.
“How are you tiny?”
“Ugh! I’m not tiny. Joong is tiny. Call him that, not to me. I’m very tall, atleast than majority of the girls in my neighbourhood.”
“Whatever makes you stand tall.”
“My legs keep me stand tall. You are just too tall Yunho. A walking giraffe.”
“Excuse me.”
“You cant be excused. Woo….lets run away before this giant bury me here.”
Grabbing his wrist, you run outside. Don’t know where. But atleast every place is like heaven when one of them is with you.
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A thud sound makes you startled and then you noticed how a black cat has entered the place. You didn’t notice before but the gate is open and maybe the cat has entered through it as there is no other possible entrance. ‘But I’m sure, I had closed the gate when I entered here’. The black cat sniffing a cabinet and you thought of some food or something is kept there but still out of curiosity, you made your way towards the cat.
The cat is not frightened with your presence near it but as if it is signalling you to open the drawer. With shaky hands, you pull the handle.
An hourglass? No wait. It’s that ‘cromer’.
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“Don’t touch it.”
“Hm?”
“Capt…I mean Hongjoong doesn’t let anyone to touch it.”
“Why? What is this?”
“its cromer. it’s a very important part of our life, especially to him. Come on, lets go to the park.”
“Jongho. Are you all not hiding something from me, right?”
Silence. Your anticipation for an answer grows with each second of his mouth shut and slow breathing.
“…no..”
“hmmm…so you are.”
“what do you mean?”
“Well, I know I’m not close to you all for a long time like you guys are from your childhood but in these five years, I have come to know a lot about you all and also not. Whenever, one of you spend time with me, shares a lot of things with me. I start to think, I have known you completely. I know you all. But the next second I don’t , as if you all are ones with hidden life. What are you all hiding from me?”
“y/N…its nothing like you think.”
“It is everything that I think and like you know. Its nothing the way you all are trying to show me things. If you want me to stay away from this, I will. Stay away from you- “
“never. We wont let you stay away from us.”
“I cant. I cant stay away from you all. You guys are like pirates in my life. The eight boys with individual mysterious pasts and united through friendship and on a heist to conquer the treasure. But, I don’t know what I am. An intruder in the pirate ship, maybe?”
“Our light. Our precious treasure.”
Their light.
Jongho, the youngest of the group. You met him when he was thrashing things around the basketball ground because his dreams of being an athletic came to an end after his accident where he hurt his leg and hand. You still don’t know the cause of it but you know both jongho and yunho feel uncomfortable with the topic and so you keep quiet with this. Jongho is the not the one to show affection in front of everyone but he is really a caring person when you are alone with him. He is a very passionate guy with his personal things, majorly his singing. His soothing honey like voice and gummy smile is everything you need to keep your nightmares away. He is a great listener like yeosang and so the most of the time when you are feeling low, you can find these two beside you.
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There is no one to light up your darkness now. You are all alone here. In this cold abandoned building, sitting in front of the table in middle of the warehouse.
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Palms pressed over your eyes, a presence behind your back, pushing you towards your front.
“Mingi…you know I can’t see when you are literally closing my eyes. Slow down. I can’t match your steps here where different things bumping my shoe.”
“I told you, yeosang to keep your gadgets somewhere else then why are they scattered here?”
You could hear Mingi scolding Yeosang but you know Seonghwa is already picking up the things from the ground.
“So? You could have done then, why still waited for me to clean the mess? I am very much busy.”
Your hands come up to remove his hands from your eyes when you come to a pause but he holds it tighter.
“Not now.”
Licking your lips, you pull your lower lip between your teeth and contemplating as what need to be unfold here. What are they upto? Its not your birthday today then-
“Congratulations on being with us for five years.”
Your eyes squint several times to adjust with the view. Hongjoong standing with a cake in his hand, smiling widely at you with Seonghwa glaring at Wooyoung and trying to smile at you because the other one is trying to blow away the candles. Yeosang by your side gives you a smile and congratulates you with San behind him, giving you his eye smile.
“Y/N. You better blow the candles before him or I have to smack him and light it up again.”
“Don’t worry, San. I’m sure he doesn’t want his name to be removed from the dance club.”
“But you don’t know that Yeosang is there to help that menace so better be prepared.”
Yunho comes to your other side with jongho trailing behind and both of them are smiling wide at you but something is there that Yunho is sad about because he is the worst one when it comes to hide his feelings. Its not right time to ask him but maybe later.
“Tiny. San is right. Never trust these two’s intentions. They are bestfriends and they can do anything for each other.”
“Aren’t you all?”
Yunho asks in surprise, “What?”
“Best friends? Aren’t you all best friends with each other?”
“No tiny. We are more than that. We are like brothers, Hongjoong accepted me in this group as if…as if…he is my own elder brother. But soon after others treated me the same. We are a family.”
“So, you all are to me. My family. Also, you all need to stop calling me tiny. I’m not Tiny.”
“Of course, you are.”
All of them laugh at you and meanwhile Jongho pats your head with shaking his head to ignore them. He signals you to blow the candles and when you are about to blow it, you pause. Their worried and confused looks earn a chuckle out of you.
“Whose plan is this for our 5 years?”
They all stare at you. Wait not you. Someone behind you. Mingi.
You quickly turn around, causing his hands to fall from your shoulders. Small eyes and wide smile staring down at you.
“What happened?”
“Thank you.”
He turns you around and hands resting on your shoulder like before and now, you smile towards everyone.
He whispers in your ears, “Welcome.”
“Also, I like the name ‘our girl’ because you all are my ‘my boys’. No wait. ‘My Pirates’.”
Their smiles drop for a mere moment but quickly nod their heads and you blow away the candles.
What are they to you? It’s obvious that they are your family. The only people who actually cared for you like a family. They are like brothers with each other but with you. With you? Did you fall in love with them? Love? You haven’t thought like this with them but you are sure one person is always making it obvious. Even if you feel a little bit something more with them. You are sure its not the same from the other end.
San. He has almost confessed his feelings several times but you just waved it off with changing the topic or just giving him a smile. You being their light was first referred by him. His life is very unstable unlike others. He had to change schools several times and this time, he made himself clear that he has to permanently settle down at one place. Due to changing places often, he does not have any one permanent in his life like you before meeting them. That is why, you are so close with him. The nights you both spend together with your head resting on his shoulder and talking about your life. The comfortable silence between you both and whispers which are only for between you two.
San is a comfort place. They all are. In their own way. The way mountains stand high to protect the nature and its beauty, he is the one shielding all of you and can even sacrifice himself to save you all. To save the friendship and the bonding of the family.
To protect his light.
Their light.
Their treasure.
You.
The member who is just the opposite to San is Mingi. He is a mysterious person. Its true that they all have some hidden past but his present is also hidden. When San is very physical and verbal with everything, Mingi is quiet and staying all by himself. When you first met him, he was still in school and he got in many fights and Jongho and San were there to bring back him from the scene. He is the one who still thinks himself as the extra member in the family even after so many years. You don’t want him to be left out in any way so you always keep his update whenever you are with them. He always keeps his earplugs on and closing his eyes, staying in a corner of the warehouse. But secretly, he is the most emotional one.
Maybe they have individual mysterious past and some uneven presents which are not clear to you. You don’t know exactly what they do for the living but one thing is common. The future with you all together. The uncalled blurry future which is peeking like a moonlight yet you are not fazed with it. The way they keep you safe from this world. You need to keep them safe from whatever lingering danger roaming around for them.
But, can you?
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“Mr. kang Mr. kang please tell me. Tell me. What’s going on here? Where are they?”
“Go away. Just go away. You don’t have to know about this. I’m sure you don’t want to end up in a similar way like them.”
“what? What happened to them?”
“Nothing you need to know.”
“I have to. I need to know. Let me enter the building. Leave my hand. I need to see them.”
You are screaming and the people crowding the place are looking in between the warehouse entrance and to the side where Mr. kang is holding your arm, preventing you from entering the building. You could see many police cars and ambulance all around. Government forces are also guarding and preventing from anyone trespassing the area which they have already closed with barricades and no entry tapes.
Your screams are echoing the place even silencing the thunderstorm and heavy rain at the moment. Everything is blur to your eyes. Your tears and raindrops mixing together same as the way your hope to meet them mixing with the worry of what happened to them. Everything is crashing to the ground with each rain drop. But one thing is still in your mind, to see them.
A government officer comes near you and Mr. Kang, and your hope to know about the scene rises.
“Hello, Mr.kang.”
“please, what happened? Let me enter. Please.”
The officer looks at you for a moment before Mr. kang speak up, “Ignore her. I will take care of this. So, that’s the end, right?”
“No one is alive. Each on of them is deceased. Also…your son was there too. One among the deceased ones.”
“I know.”
You look towards them with horror in your eyes, “Who?”
“Kang Yeosang.”
Yeosang.
One of the deceased. Them. They are deceased.
You sat on the muddy ground with bawling your eyes out and crying louder. If it were some other times then one or the others would come running to you to engulf you in a tight hug and never let you go until you had come down. But now again. Its you all alone. You don’t have a family now. But atleast you have wonderful memories with a family.
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You are again crying and hiccupping like that day again now, sitting on the sofa with the cromer and your backpack. You don’t know what to do with these stuffs but you are going to take all their stuffs with yourself before someone else gets their hand on them.
The cat is still roaming around the place. You put the cromer on the table where moonlight is coming directly from the big ventilators and starts to put everything possible in your bag. Its late at night already and your eyes feeling droopy with tiredness and crying. So, placing the bag aside, you lie down on the sofa to rest yourself.
.
.
.
.
“She is lonely without us. I can’t see her like this.”
The girl’s head resting on the thighs of the tallest man among them. His hands combing her hairs and caressing the scalp in between. Her legs placed over the other’s thigh, one with broad shoulders and his hands drawing soothing circles over her sides to lull her to sleep.
The other peeking down at her with his best friend from behind the sofa and tears glistening their eyes. Another tall man sitting on a chair nearby the sofa, staring at the tired body sleeping soundly in his friends��� hold.
“She is still wearing my bracelet.” Said the one who is examining her hand and the bracelet.
“She even put my drone in her bag.” The eldest who is still holding the bracelet in his hold looks at the person behind the sofa on hearing his words.
The person beside him nods his head with similar sad smile, “She even pass through the dance club with the hope that she would still see me waiting for her.”
“Everything is still in the same place. Thanks to that dad of mine to lock the place and not letting anyone to enter here but I know he is just going to sell this place to the government and she is doing her best to protect this place with her all might.” Yeosang says while wiping the tears and turning away from them.
The leader kneels in front of his face and removes the loose strands of hairs and tugging them behind before caressing her cheeks with a soft smile on his face but tears threating to fall from his eyes.
“I should not have included her in my life when I knew that one day, I need to leave her here all alone. I should not have showed her the hope of us together forever.” He pauses before continuing, “I thought I could have achieved both- the victory and her but I lost both.”
“But you said We can get back with her and that’s possible?”
“I don’t know, Mingi. I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Is it possible?”
Everyone looks towards the youngest on his sudden question as he was being all quiet and him asking the leader caught everyone’s attention.
“What?”
“Is it possible to start again?”
Hongjoong turns back to the girl sleeping peacefully while the eldest caressing her hand. The leader’s thumb ghosts over the dried tears over her cheeks and dry lips with exhaustion reflecting from her whole self.
“I don’t know what to do but everything is possible till she is being our light and our precious treasure which we need to protect. Our only hope to start a new beginning from the horizon.”
Honjoong leans forward to peck her lips.
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Your eyes shot open and you sit up. You are sweating and bring your fingers to your lips, you feel as if the dream was real. They were here. No. how can they be? You touch your forehead and then to your neck, you are having fever. Its just a dream because of your exhaustion. It was a fever dream.
‘Everything is possible till she is being our light.’
‘Their precious treasure.’
Your eyes stare at the cromer. You need to know about them all over again but in details. You need to find their past and what happened to them that day.
‘Our only hope to start a new beginning from the horizon.’
The diary.
You rummage through the items to get the diary and quickly pull it out.
The title written on it: ‘From the witness.’
Flips open the diary, the first page reflects the word, ‘The Black Pirates’.
The words written scribbled below are Passion Young Fever.
“Is this the end?”
.
.
.
“Or is it the beginning of the end?”
.
.
.
The fever dream was real?
Or actually, you never met them?
Or maybe, It’s just the part of the witness you read in this diary and all these times you spend yourself imagining in her place.
Was it her dream?
Or yours?
……..
[ Now listen here! When writing this down, i literally plotted a whole series but somehow i uploaded this one-shot on the request. maybe I would write a series on this in future. Should I make it a series?]
Perma Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @eriny123 @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon [open!]
#cultofdionysusnet#kvanity#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez au#ateez lore#ateez storyline#ateez x you#ateez fic#atz#ateez seonghwa#ateez hongjoong#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#ateez soft hours#ateez soft thoughts
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i was thinking a jjk req.
the reader is shy and kind but one day as they were pushed towards his limits and saw Yuji hurt,they lost it so they true power pops outs,they become more derangered,crazy,bloodthirtsy as they slash the head off of the enemy and did a mass genocide of their opponent and they laughed isterically covered in blood with a toothy sharp smile like this?
and they basycally become more fast and stronger
(idk this is more based on my jjk sona but...i hope its okay?)
Unstoppable
Yuji Itadori x gn!reader
Warnings- mentions of violence (fight with curse)
wc- 1.5k
Tags- @sweetchildcloud @rabbidbunwy
Your concerns prove to be prophetic. The Special Grade Cursed Spirit regroups, reemerging with renewed vigor. This time, it's bearing an even darker countenance, lunging with a vengeance. Unable to react in time, Yuji gets knocked unconscious by its unrelenting onslaught.
Helplessness floods you as you watch Yuji collapse under the Cursed Spirit's brutal attack. Fear gives way to determination, driving you to action.
You could vaguely hear their conversations as they passed by. They spoke of all sorts of things—the current status of the curse and how the first semester of school was going for them. Nothing overly interesting, but nothing to complain about either.
However, someone caught up to you quickly and walked along with you.
“Hey.”
You looked over to see a tall guy with strawberry blonde hair walking alongside you.
“Hi,” you mumbled, feeling your cheeks flush slightly at his sudden appearance.
“I heard you’re the new kid on campus—Y/N, right?” Yuji asked, smiling warmly as he walked beside you.
“Yeah,” you confirmed, still not used to hearing yourself admit such a thing out loud.
“Well, don’t worry too much. You’re among friends here,” he continued with a reassuring grin. "I'm Yuji Itadori, by the way. And we're in the same class, so we'll be seeing a lot of each other. You can come to me if you ever need help or just want to chat, alright?"
Yuji's hand brushed against yours briefly, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting go. He had a friendly demeanour that put you at ease, making it hard to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. Your cheeks felt warmed once again, and you found it difficult to meet his gaze. You managed to muster a forced smile in response.
"Thanks, Yuji... I really appreciate that. I'm still getting used to all of this." You gestured towards the school, trying to hide your nerves behind a polite facade.
As the weeks went by, you and Yuji grew increasingly comfortable with each other. The once-strained atmosphere transformed into an environment of easy camaraderie and mutual understanding. Sharing laughter, tears, joys, and fears, you began to feel a bond unlike any other.
Today, after a particularly grueling training session, you were hanging out with Yuji. The city lights flickered below, casting a prismatic glow upon both of you.
"You know…" Yuji started softly, shifting to turn onto his side to face you
"We're getting pretty close now, huh?" He asked, his eyes reflecting the twinkle of stars overhead.
"Yeah..." Your fingers hesitated before seeking out his hand and intertwining your fingers with his. "It feels like...we're unstoppable together, you know?" You whispered, glancing at Yuji's hand that now rested securely in yours. The warmth from his touch made its way up your arm, spreading throughout your entire body.
"Unstoppable," he repeated thoughtfully, tilting his head slightly.
"I like that," Yuji murmured, leaning closer to you, "you know Y/N, I don't want to lose you. Never"
You looked at his eyes, his eyes sparkled with love, "I don't want to lose you either"
"Y/N, I promise I will always protect you", he moved a strand of your hair from your face. Your lips were mere inches apart when the sweet moment between you and Yuji was abruptly interrupted by a blood-curdling scream echoing through the night air. You exchanged panicked glances before springing into action, charging towards the source of the piercing sound.
Upon reaching the location of the scream, you and Yuji found a small child, who was in the verge of death. A special grade cursed spirit, with its twisted, tendril-like limbs writhed about, wrapping the child.
Terror overwhelmed you as you beheld the horrific sight. The little child, trapped within the sinister, grasping tendrils of the Special Grade Cursed Spirit. As you retreated, fear etched every line of your features, tears streaming down your cheeks.
The sheer magnitude of the threat hit you like a ton of bricks. This was your first encounter with a Cursed Spirit - no amount of education or training could've prepared you for the raw horror of it. Tears streamed freely down your face as fear seized your heart.
Yuji, however, remained stoic, his gaze fixed firmly on the terrifying beast before him.
"Stay back!" Yuji barked, already preparing to engage the monster. He activated his cursed technique, and his eyes gleamed with determination as he lunged forward. His fists connected with the massive creature, sending shock waves through its form. The child managed to escape it's grip, running away from the area as soon as he could, crying for his mom.
From a safe distance, you watched in terror as Yuji fought valiantly against the monstrous curse. His fists lashed out with incredible speed and power, cracking the ground beneath him. Yet, the creature seemed unfazed by his assault.
Despite your overwhelming fear, you wished desperately to assist Yuji. You knew that standing idle while he risked his life would be irresponsible. However, paralyzing dread gripped your body, holding you back. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he continued to strike the massive entity.
In the midst of the battlefield, the air shimmered with the intensity of Yuji's battle against the colossal Cursed Spirit. Each punch sent tremors rippling through the earth as he tirelessly sought to free the trapped child. His cursed technique radiated power, painting the air with a blue aura.
Against this relentless onslaught, the creature's form quivered, yet it did not falter completely.
The air around Yuji grew thick with anticipation as he readied his ultimate move. With a swift motion, he darted forward in a blur, utilizing his Black Flash technique.
His movements became a blur, leaving streaks of distorted air in his wake. The Cursed Spirit was caught off guard, struggling to keep up with his rapid attacks. Witnessing this display left you in awe, even amidst the terror.
For a brief moment, hope sparked in your heart. Just as Yuji landed a devastating blow, the enemy's remaining tendrils recoiled, vanishing into the shadows. The freed child lay unconscious on the ground, narrowly escaping death.
Your heart pounded wildly in relief as Yuji staggered back, panting heavily from the exertion. He collapsed onto one knee, a mixture of satisfaction and exhaustion etching his features.
"Are you okay?" you asked him.
"I'm fine," Yuji managed, forcing a brave smile despite the strain evident in his voice. But the curse's swift strike left him comatose.
Closing your eyes tightly, you summon the courage to fight. Drawing from the lessons learned at Jujutsu High, you focused on the curse, attempting to channel your powers to aid Yuji.
The newfound resolve surges through your veins, pushing away the fear that have previously paralyzed you. With a deep breath, you focus intently on the Cursed Spirit, determine to aid Yuji.
As the enemy draws near, your cursed energy ignites, it surges into your katana. The demonic essence within you seethes, fueling a thirst for destruction. Like a frenzied predator, you unleash your power upon the Cursed Spirit. Your once-friendly features contorts into a ghastly, bloodthirsty visage as you swing your weapon, decapitating it with a single stroke.
Blood dripping from your teeth, staining your smile crimson as you laugh maniacally. "That's what you get bad for attacking innocent people," you cackle maniacally, showering the area with gore as you continue your rampage. Your laughter echoes eerily through the silent night, punctuated by the sickening crunch of each blow.
Finally, exhausted, you collapse to the ground, panting heavily. Purple Blood paints your hands and clothes, creating a gruesome tableau. Your laughter subsides, replaced by heavy breathing as the adrenaline begins to wear off. A wave of guilt and horror sweeps over you, washing away the madness. Your eyes lock with Yuji's unconscious form on the ground, and remorse floods your heart.
"Y-Yuji…" you manage, reaching out tentatively to touch his chest, checking for any signs of life.
Thankfully, Yuji stirrs slightly, his eyelids fluttering weakly. Relief washes over you as you realized he was still alive.
"Y-Yuji!" You cry out, squeezing his hand gently. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to do that... But we couldn't let those monsters hurt you again..."
He opens his eyes slowly, gazing at you with confusion and concern.
"Y/N..."
Relief floods Yuji's expression as he recognizes your efforts to save him. Gratefulness wells up within him, culminating in a tender smile.
"You...you saved me..." He murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes turn teary, "Sorry I couldn't protect you."
"No," you shake your head, wiping away a stray tear, "it's part of the job... protecting each other."
He pulls you close, and as he does, you feel a warmth spreading from your core outwards.
"Thank you..." Yuji whispers, his lips brushing against yours in an intimate gesture filled with gratitude and affection.
The kiss deepens, fervent yet gentle. The lingering scent of battle hangs heavy in the air, but it only serves to heighten the intensity of the moment. Passionate, yet gentle, Yuji's kiss leaves you breathless. In this embrace, all outside stimuli fades away, leaving only you two.
Drawing back slightly, Yuji gazes lovingly into your eyes. "You're amazing, Y/N," his voice is husky, laced with emotion.
"Thank you, Yuji," you respond, "I am nothing without your support"
"Together we are unstoppable, Y/N", his forehead touching yours. The moonlight cast a soft glow upon your faces as you share a loving look, your hearts beating in unison.
"Always by your side, Y/N," Yuji promises fervently, leaning in for another tender kiss.
This time, the kiss is slow and deliberate, filled with love and appreciation. It lingers, fueled by the strength of your bond. When he finally breaks away, he smiles softly.
"We're going to be the strongest duo".
#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk yuji#jjk itadori#jujutsu itadori#yuuji itadori#itadori yuji#yuji itadori#yuji x reader#yuji x you#yuji jjk#itadori#itadori yuuji#itadori yuji x reader#itadori yuji x you#itadori yuji x y/n#jujutsu kaisen yuuji#jjk yuji itadori#yuji itadori x reader#yuji itadori x you#yuji itadori x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen itadori#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff
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☆–a.n; @hitoshisbf MOOTIE, I GOTCHUU♡ tho, idk if this is the turn you were looking for with his, but i hope at least satiates a bit of your need ;) also, i haven't written this fast anything LOOOL idk, i'm living for the angsty fics lately♡
☆–warnings; angst, alcohol consumption, a bit of smut in one paragraph lol, and of course swearing, because Shinsou is as bad as Bakugou.
Shinsou Hitoshi is not a man that shows his feelings openly.
Everybody knows that.
So it isn’t a surprise when he returns to the agency from that hell of a fight, face blank, void of any emotion, eyes looking sleepy and tired like they always do. But there is something. Something about the way he is walking, the way he is breathing, or maybe call it his aura, that makes everyone flinch as he walks from the entrance directly towards the elevator.
From all the eyes he knows and feels looking at him, he strongly feels yours. He knows he shouldn’t close on himself and not seek help when he perfectly knows this is a moment to seek for help. For you.
But he can’t avoid it.
The guilt.
Another partner lost.
Another person died in his care.
More than one.
He is 32 years old and apparently he can’t take care of a sidekick half his age, who is already an adult, but still a baby in this profession. This fucking profession of being a hero. How many have already gone? How many have lost their lives because he wasn’t fast enough, strong enough, or even smart enough? How. Fucking. Many.
Hitoshi sighs when he’s in front of the door to his office, not really knowing how he got there; and when he enters and then turns to close it, he encounters the eyes of Midoriya Izuku who looks at him, worried and pitiful.
“It wasn’t your fault, Hitoshi,” Midoriya’s words feel more like a dagger stuck deep in his guts than the comfort he tries to give.
“How many, Midoriya… How many.”
And with that he closes the door and locks it. He doesn’t wait for his co-worker and friend's response. Hitoshi doesn’t need it. He knows it.
After throwing some of his equipment over the small couch he has in the middle of his office, Shinsou walks directly towards one of his furniture where he hides it. Alcohol. Rum, to be exact. He discovered –after a situation similar to this one– that the only thing that gives him a bit of comfort is the burn of the liquor going down his throat. He hates it, he loathes it completely. But he loves how the painful burning turns off his senses and closes down his gullet as the liquid slides inside his system. His ability to speak turns off, just as his consciousness.
He gulps down glass after glass after glass. He doesn’t care that he’s at work and by all ethics he shouldn’t be doing this here. But he doesn’t fucking care anymore.
He doesn’t care that once again one of his co-workers and two of his sidekicks died right in front of his eyes.
He doesn’t care that even if he got there a tad bit sooner, they could still be alive, he could have saved them.
He doesn’t care that it was his fault, because he got distracted from trying to follow one of those villains and didn’t stay to help his team.
But he does care. It is his fault. Everything.
Glass after glass after glass of rum, and he already feels the rise in temperature and the dizziness in his body. But he doesn’t care. He deserves feeling like this… This helpless and useless, because that’s what he is. A fucking useless piece of shit. Not even good at his own job. What would Aizawa say? Dad would agree with Shinsou. He’s just a fucking nuisance. He has been for everybody since his very first day at UA.
The rumble of knocks on his office’s door makes him groan. He doesn’t move, whomever it is should know already that he’s not going to fucking answer the door.
“Shinsou, it’s me,” your muffled voice sounds and he curses Midoriya’s name. He knows it was him who sent you. He always did whenever Hitoshi traveled down to the most inner dark places of his own mind.
He can’t not open the door to you. You are and will always be the exception to any rule. You come before anything and everyone, even his own misery. But, he had drank so much he realizes now he can't move his legs as he tries to stand up from his chair behind his desk. His arms and legs feel like gum, uncontrollable and useless gum, and he doesn't have the strength to even throw the keys closer to the door so you can grab them from under it and get yourself in. He knows, he had tried it, just now. Unfortunately, he just knocked a decorative vessel that sat at the corner of his own desk. What a shame, you have gifted him that from one of your trip missions.
“Hitoshi, what was that? Please, please, let me in,” your begging voice is something that stir so many emotions inside him.
He likes to hear it when he’s on top of you, buried so deep inside you that you beg for him. More, fast, harder, deeper. He loves it, to drive you that insane that only him can give you what you need.
Now, it sounds so desperate and sad, he hates being the reason too behind that begging.
It doesn’t pass too much time until the door is forced open. He regrets having locked it when he looks up and you’re there, standing with all that worry and fear in your eyes as your chest pushes up and down in puffs of air that you inhale. Oh. You forced it on your own. He feels proud of you. You have grown so much. So strong and so dependable.
He remembers when he met you, a small thing of eighteen years old, filled with dreams and hopes, that had just joined Hero Deku’s agency, where he also worked too. You had also been his sidekick for a while, before everyone –Hitoshi included– recognized your strength and power and by your twenty one years old you already had sidekicks helping you on your missions.
He was so proud and mesmerized by the person and hero you have become, he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help to feel things for you.
Your first kiss happened on your twenty-fifth birthday. Izuku had the idea to throw a surprise party after you came back from a mission in Osaka that day. Hitoshi would never forget the shine in your eyes when you entered the conference room, turned on the lights and everyone jumped yelling “happy birthday, Y/N!!” in greeting. You almost cried, and Hitoshi found that cute.
Shinsou was also known for liking his own space, so it didn’t take you long to finally find him at the balcony, alone and smoking his cigarette.
“You know, that thing kills you,” you closed the door of the balcony before walking and standing next to him.
He smiled, a genuine one, before saying, “Our work can kill us, did you know that?”
You rolled your eyes at him, softly pushing him with your shoulder, which made him laugh.
“Thanks for being here, Shinsou-san.”
“Ugh. Drop the honorifics already. Makes me feel old,” this time you laughed, and he took that as a queue to take out the little box he brought for you.
“What is this?” You asked receiving the little box.
“The villain’s teeth of my last fight,” you look up at him, not really amused and he snorts, “It’s your present, dumbass.”
“Couldn’t you just say that?” You protested, clearly exasperated by his jokes, which made him even fall for you more.
Hitoshi takes another drag of his cigarette as you open the box. It’s a necklace, not a very expensive one, with a pendant that has the form of a moon. To others, it might not mean shit, and maybe they would comment on how cheap the present looks. But to both of you, it had a significance. It signified all that time you spent together, patrolling and wandering the streets at night when you were his sidekick, given that both of your Quirks worked better at night.
You’re silent for a bit, and that silence worried him for a second. Then he saw the little droplets of your tears on the railing of the balcony where you are standing close to, and he sighed, throwing the cigarette to the ground and stepping on it to turn it off.
“You’re not supposed to cry, dummy,” his hands grabbed your face and he softly tilted your head back so he could look at your face better.
He saw the tears running down your cheeks, but your eyes looked genuinely happy. Fuck, you're gorgeous, inside out.
“It’s my birthday, I can do whatever I want,” you replied back, your beautiful dove eyes not leaving his.
“That you can.” He said almost in a whisper, his eyes darting down to your lips for a second. And when he looked back at your eyes, he saw the realization in them.
“I… Can I?” He saw your eyes do the same action he did before, and fuck, yes please.
“You can.”
You stood suddenly in your tiptoes and finally connected your lips together. One of his hands slid to the back of your head as the other went down and his arm surrounded your waist, pulling you against him even closer, lips firm against each other.
Shinsou had felt on cloud nine. He still does every time you kiss him. Every time he wakes up and sees you there laying next to him, all cutesy with your sleepy-puffy face and all. Every time you come back to him, even when he told you many times before that he isn't worth it.
He doesn’t deserve you. And you deserve so much better.
“Why did you lock the door?” Your voice sounds angry, but also worried.
Hitoshi looks down again to his desk where he finds the bottle of rum almost finished. Wow. How much time has passed since he got here? The dizziness and the constant burning in his throat doesn’t let him think straight, or do the maths. So he immediately disposed of that thought. He won’t be able to find the answer either way. But he can tell that, by your worried expression, it’s been long. I mean, the almost empty bottle in front of him says much too.
“Shinsou,” you call him again. And by his surname, which means you are angry too.
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asks in a murmur, his voice sounding so rough and deep he barely recognizes it like his own.
He then feels hands, small delicate hands, that hold his face and turn him to the side. They feel so soft, so sweet as the thumbs caress his cheeks that he closes his eyes, feeling that knot in his throat so tight is about to explode and make him bleed til he dies.
Hitoshi takes a faltering breath as he feels your forehead press against his.
“Let’s go home, love,” your gentle voice says and he feels like crying now.
But he nods and lets you help him up.
You’re his home. So he will go anywhere with you.
When Hitoshi wakes up the next day, he feels like a truck ran over him. Bones and all heavy, his head pulsing with pain that makes him want to vomit.
He remembers vaguely what happened. And he remembers you dragging his stupid and sorry-sad ass to the apartment. With Izuku. Midoriya helped you bring him home. How embarrassing.
Hitoshi finds the strength to sit on his bed, after seeing that your side of the bed is empty. That’s weird, but it doesn’t surprise him. It is just time you finally see the scum and worthless ass he is.
He rests his elbows on his knees, holding his head with his hands. It hurts, realizing that he lost you. Hurts more than anything. How fucking hypocrite of him. Yesterday, he was moping about the death of his team members, swearing that what he felt was pain. Nothing compares to what he’s feeling now.
The tears slide through his face before he has a chance to stop them.
He never deserved you. He doesn’t even deserve to be called a Hero.
He feels like a fucking loser.
“Hitoshi?”
Your voice makes him look up instantly. And in two long strides you’re kneeling on the floor in front of him, arms around his neck.
He immediately returns the hug. And cries. Like a fucking child.
But this is you, he can do this with you. He can be vulnerable with you.
“You stayed.” He cries, feeling like a wounded animal that needs help.
But somehow, he is. Wounded. In pain. And you’re his savior, what he needs to heal.
“I’m always going to be here, love. I choose you, and I will always do.”
The fingers of one of your hands slides in his hair as his whole body shakes in his cries.
“You have to stop doing this. Nothing that happened was your fault, and if you don’t believe yourself, believe me.” You back away from him just a bit so you can look into his eyes. “Believe me when I say that it was not your fault. And believe me when I say that it’s time you stop this behavior.” He knows you’re talking about his drinking habit from this past months.
“I choose you, but you have to choose me. Or… I don’t think I’m going to want to stay here to see you lose yourself. It hurts me too much, Hitoshi.”
That gets his attention completely.
No. He can't lose you. He won’t lose you. No. No. No.
You're the one crying now, and he’s the one that pulls you up so you straddle his waist and hold your face very close to his.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I won’t… I’ll be good, I’ll be better for you, I promise.” He chants like a prayer as he kisses every part of your face as he can.
You shake your head, “No. Be good for you, be better for you. Because you deserve it. You deserve to be happy, Hitoshi.”
He doesn’t believe it. Not yet anyway.
But he believes you. He loves you. And if to cherish you how you deserve means he has to believe he’s good, he will.
He will be good for you. And with time, for himself too.
#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#mha smut#bnha smut#mha angst#bnha angst#mha shinso hitoshi#mha shinsou hitoshi x reader#mha shinsou#mha shinsou hitoshi x yn#mha shinsou hitoshi#mha shinsou hitoshi x you#bnha shinsou hitoshi x reader#bnha shinsou hitoshi#bnha shinsou#bnha shinsou hitoshi x yn#shinsou hitoshi x reader#shinsou hitoshi smut#shinsou hitoshi x you#shinsou hitoshi x yn
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Parallels Chapter 17: What Is Meant To Be?
Miguel O'Hara x Spider!FemReader
No use of y/n
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 4.9k
Summary: You're going to die. It's written in the canon. The canon must always be obeyed... right?
Warnings: Angst O'clock, Talks of death, Near death experience???? Miguel loves so hard, SMUT (again finally) Oral (Fem receiving), Window sex??, sweet sweet desperation
A/N: I worked hard to get this out quickly because I felt bad about making everything so sad lately 😅 Though there still might be enough angsty to make it plenty sad, Idk. I'm sorry anyway
Previous. - Next
Series Masterlist
AO3
_______________
Chapter 17
What Is Meant To Be?
“Play it again.”
“Miguel, I don’t think–”
“Play it again.”
The simulation of the dingey warehouse restarts. Nothing more than a prediction. A vision of what's to come. A supposed hostage situation set up by the remnants of the Fisk family—a trap for you. It was so simple. He’d seen you dodge gunfire and fight practical monsters, but this is what does it? Trapped inside a warehouse rigged to explode. As indestructible as spiders seemed to be, no one could rightly survive a roof falling on them. A spider can’t dodge bullets forever.
They’d find your body 3 days later, likely a memorial erected in your honor as well as a day of citywide grieving. And two months later a certain captain’s daughter would take up the mantle— and you’d be replaced and slowly forgotten.
There was a 98.9% chance of likelihood for these events. It might as well be a hundred at that point.
You were going to die. This is how you were going to die.
It was predicted to happen within the hour and Miguel was just sitting here waiting for it to happen. How morbid, he scolds himself. He sits there helpless, a pitiful excuse for a hero.
“Mig, I’m so sorry,” Lyla’s small form comes to sit next to his hand, her own small hand mimicking stroking motions over his forearm.
“You weren’t going to tell me.” he mumbles, eyes still locked on the screen of a smoldering building where your body would be dug up from. Only a simulation. It hadn’t happened. Not yet.
“I didn’t know how to. I was… scared.”
“Scared,” He scoffs, “You?”
“You’re not the only one who cares about her, Miguel.'' The AI bites out harshley. It almost catches him off guard. He’s so used to seeing her so bubbly, so quirky and fun. As annoyed as he seemed by it, he always appreciated it. Gabe was smart in programming her to be so fun. He needed someone like that in his life. Someone to help cut through his bullshit. You played that role as well.
“We’ve lost a lot of friends in this job, haven’t we Lyla?”
“We have.”
Miguel expected to be ragging at this point, an inconsolable beast wreaking havoc on his lab. Angry, like he had been since you left. Instead, he’s just numb. Was your fate that easy to accept?
The spider-sense lulls in his head, finally quieting down after the month of torture. Did that mean it knew what was to come? Would he feel it? When you—
He finally buries his face in his hands, muffling a defeated sob. Ah, there’s the tears. After the self-inflicted torture he’d put you both through, this is how it ends? You die and he has to watch it happen like a helpless child on the sidelines. This is the burden he’d taken. He’d done this so many times before. He’d watched horrible things happen because it was the will of the canon— but with you it was… you were…
“Lyla, I’d like to see the probability diagnostics,” He swallows the sorrow, hoping the cold unfeeling numbers of an algorithm might put him at ease. If this was to happen, maybe looking at the ripple effects of it would help him cope. A sacrifice for the greater good of it all.
The equations and graphs illuminate around him, all of them infallible. This was going to happen. And what would your death bring to the multiverse? Nothing. A small blip in the grand scope of it all. A speck of dust in the cosmos, just like all of them.
But if your death was so small, then what could that mean if it didn’t happen?
The thoughts he’d been suppressing suddenly flood his mind. He’s not helpless here. The power to change your fate rested on his wrist, your life so easily saved by the simple push of a button. He’d risked something like this before, but it was different this time. Could saving a life have the same effect? He’d replaced a life, but saving a life…There’s no way to know. And he didn’t have time to run the numbers. He had to act—- now.
“Miguel?” Lyla’s voice chirps up behind him, “What are you doing?”
What is he doing? He looks down to see he’d already typed in the coordinates to your universe. Had he already decided and didn’t realize it? Was it that easy?
“I…” He looks down at the watch. A single push of a button. That’s all it would take. “I don’t know.”
“I know… this is hard,” She hovers at his wrist now, clearing the coordinates from the watch, “But we can’t interfere with—”
“All we’ve done is interfere,” He bites out in a voice he doesn’t recognize. “How is this different?”
Did he really believe that?
Hypocrite, he scolds himself.
Reasoning. He was trying to reason for it. Bargaining for your life to justify his own selfish actions.
He types in the coordinates again, and Lyla clears them before he finishes. He growls, clawing through her projection.
“You’re not thinking, Miguel!” She urges. “I know this is hard. But you can’t. You know you can’t.”
He knows she’s right, he’s not thinking. He doesn’t care. If he could pull this off, if he could save you, then he’d figure it out. He always did. There had to be limits he could push. Options he never considered. Whatever it would take, just to assure your safety.
“You have to understand what’s at stake here.” Lyla says again, her pixelated eyes pleading with him. Despite her seeming so human in every way, she was still just a program doing her job. She was his fail-safe, an assurance to make sure past mistakes weren’t repeated— and now she’s the only thing standing in his way.
“Yes, I do understand,” He says coldly, calmly walking across the lab— to Lyla’s control panel. “It’s time you remember who’s in charge.”
“Don’t even think about it!” She grows to full size. Projections explode behind her, raging fire, explosive blinding lights— all mere illusions. It does nothing to stop him. While she ran things, multiverse travel was still completely operable without her. He opens the panel and begins typing in the reboot code. It’s the one area of the tower she has no control over.
Arachni-bots scurry towards him before falling dead with another push of a button. She’s trying everything. He has to work quickly.
“I’ve called Gabe,” Lyla warns, “Emergency protocol is initiated. He’ll know.”
“Fine, I don’t care.” Miguel punches in the final sequence and all of Lyla’s projections begin to fade. Only her flicking form remains. It’ll take her at least an hour to reboot, that’s more than enough time.
A portal to earth-727 bursts to life in front of him.
“Think about it, Miguel!” Lyla tries to reason one last time as her projection starts to fade, “All of this— Everything— for one person? It’s not worth it.”
He pauses at the portal's entrance, the pull of the spider-sense urging him to step forward.
“Yes. She is.”
The sense crescendos as he shoots through reality, across time and space to save you. The anticipation builds, the anxiety of racing against the clock. He burst through the portal already swinging, taking a quick assessment of his surroundings. Without Lyla to guide his exact location he could've only ended up in a 3-mile radius of you. The sun had already set. He was in Brooklyn, the southside by the looks of it. The warehouse was in the center of Queens, not far but he had to hurry.
As he swings the rest of his emotions come flooding in. The guilt. The shame… the undeniable love for you. How could he have thought such things? How could have just sat by while he watched you die? Had this job really made him so callous? So cold to the world at large?
When did Spider-Man stop trying to save everyone?
You’d given yourself to him so freely and he’d meet your affections with so much disdain— yet you treated him with kindness anyway. You were patient with him like no one had been before, he didn’t deserve it. Yet he won’t give it up. Not anymore.
He’d make it up to you. He’d make it all up to you starting tonight.
The warehouse is in sight. You’d be swinging in from the east. He could easily stop you before you got anywhere near the building. He perches himself on the highest rooftop half a block east of the rigged warehouse and waits. Checking the time, you’d be swinging at any moment, give or take a few minutes.
He waits… and he waits.
He’s not sure how much time has passed before he starts pacing. Did he miss you? No, he has no doubt the spider-sense would have honed in on you.
The spider-sense… in his blind panic he hadn't paid it any mind. Surely being in your dimension would send the alarms blaring in his head. Instead, it was like it was…. Muted. Smothered under something he didn’t recognize. What did that mean?
What if it meant you were already dead?
Dread pushes him off the roof and swinging towards the harrowing warehouse. Crawling up to the closest window, he peers inside. Three armed men stand in the center of the massive room, barrels of explosives around them.
“Where the hell is she?” one of them grumbles, “Doesn’t she usually show up way before the cops? Did Tony call it in?”
“Of course he did,” the second one sighs.
“If she doesn’t come then this was all for nothin’.”
“She’ll come. She always comes.”
“Shut up, both of you,” the final one hisses, turning around to scold the other two. “Look.”
He gives a faint nod to his right… directly at Miguel.
The first bullets whiz past Miguel’s shoulder, one knicking his suit. He was spotted. Idiot. How could be so careless? He barely manages to swing out of sight.
“Christ, don’t shoot in here!” The leader of the three shouts, “Might as well light a fucking match!”
“Fuck you, I’m not letting that bitch get away!” They think Miguel is you? He could hear them arguing, perched safely on the roof. Well that confirms it, you weren’t here.
“She’s here. We got her and I’m not gonna let her pick us off one by one. I’m getting justice for the boys she locked up.” The threatening statement is followed by the unmistakable cock of a gun.
Oh no.
“Wait— WAIT—'' One of them pleads before a shot goes off, immediately followed by a domino fall of explosions.
Miguel just barely swings to safety, the flames licking at his heels.
“Holy shit. Holy shit.” He chants as he rounds the corner onto a rooftop. It happened. The explosion paints the night in harsh oranges, shattering windows and setting off car alarms for miles. He hears police sirens finally approaching. Your death had happened— and you weren’t there for it.
You weren’t there.
Relief overtakes him, dropping him to his knees. He’s not sure if he wants to cry or vomit. Quelling the boiling cauldron of emotions in his brain, he forces himself to focus. He hones in on the spider-sense— desperately humming in the forefront of his mind. It was trying to tell him something. Trying to tell him where you were.
With a wary step forward, he follows it.
________
An emergency distress call from some random universe you’d never heard of. You can’t remember the last time you answered one. Probably when the tower was attacked. They were never meant to be ignored either.
Jess called it in, and with her being so far along in her pregnancy you leaped immediately to help her, along with a good handful of all of your other spider-comrades. She’d just entered her third trimester and you’re truly amazed she’s still working this diligently.
“Gotta get it all out of my system now,” She’d scoffed to you when she’d first announced it, “That and I know you guys can’t do this without me, better help you out now.”
Jessica Drew, always so humble to the point she wouldn’t allow herself maternity leave. God, you loved her but you’d wished she would slow down.
Since she showed no signs of taking a break, offering a helping hand whenever she needed it was the best you could do.
Tonight she certainly needed it, being caught in a sudden gathering of symbiotes. You and about ten other spiders answered the call, just in time it seemed.
You hated symbiotes. It wasn’t as easy as punching them and knocking them out, you had to be clever. Play to their very specific weaknesses— Fire and loud noises. That and they were just nasty fuckers. It's a good chance for you to blow off some steam. You didn’t have to hold back when it came to symbiotes, and for once, that was a good thing.
An hour of messy fighting and a lot of loud noises and fire later, they were all contained. It admittedly felt good to be part of a team effort after your rather less-than-stellar month. These were still your people, they didn’t stop being your people just because Miguel wasn’t part of your circle anymore.
A massive portal opened back to HQ. You’re cue to leave for home.
“Hey,” Jess grabs your shoulder before you can hit the button home, “Come back to the tower with me.”
“I— why?” you’re aware of how cold it comes out.
Jess immediately furrows her brows, “Because I haven’t talked to you in forever and I wanna buy you a coffee so you can describe what it tastes like to me.”
You can’t help but laugh a little, “You miss coffee that much, huh?”
“And booze. And sushi. And hot tubs. And—” She drapes her arm around your shoulder as she continues, leading you over to her bike. Well, if she’s offering a fun ride, who are you to say no?
Yes, you’d been avoiding the tower like a plague just because he’s there. You feel him when you’re closer, the sense jumping at the proximity alone. Just because it was Miguel’s tower though, didn’t mean you weren’t welcome. Your friends were there. Your community. Spider Tower wasn’t just a monolith to Miguel, it was for all of you.
You wonder if you should tell Jess about it all. If anyone would understand it’d be her. You’d probably get a few good minutes of reprimanding you for being so stupid, but then she’d go full protective mode and be your human shield against the big bad Spider-Man 2099. That and the pregnancy hormones were making her more irritable. That’s what friends did, though— right? Made things easier for one another. That and you wanted another shoulder to cry on.
You will tell her, eventually. Not tonight but… soon.
You both burst into the tower, Jess skidding the bike to a spiraling stop.
“I hate it when you do that.” you sigh into her back.
“You spend all day swinging around a city and a little bike ride makes you dizzy?” She scoffs, flipping out the kickstand.
“Yes, shut up,” You groan, practically melting off the bike. Suddenly, You remember why you don’t always accept rides from her, “Why do you ride a bike anyway? Your webs seem perfectly fine.”
“Just to look cool,” She muses, bouncing her hard to the side. Well… you can’t deny that fact. She always did look pretty cool.
The spider-sense was revving in the back of your head. A few weeks ago it would have driven you insane, now it’s just another thing to ignore. Like a cast over a broken bone or an itchy rash. You’d trained yourself to live with advanced senses, you could train yourself to get used to this.
At least until you were ready to take the cure.
You’re halfway to the cafeteria when it’s too much, the sense jumping like a punch to the back of your head. You stumble forward, blindsided by the effects.
“Jeez, you okay?” Jess grabs your arm.
“Fine! Fine…. I think.” You assure her halfheartedly.
The sense calms down into a more annoying ringing, but still stronger than when you first entered the building. Why was it acting up now?
A familiar voice calling your name is your answer. You turn around and there he is, standing at the end of the hallway.
Miguel— and god, he looks awful.
Of course he had to show up when you were starting to feel like yourself again. The sense almost causes you to burst out in tears at the sight of him alone. It was a relief. It was a nightmare.
God, you really don’t want to do this right now.
He takes a few timid steps toward you, “I… I need to talk to you.”
“Why?” you immediately spit back.
“It’s important,” He simply says. This was a bad idea. You want to go with him so badly but you know if you do it’ll open up all of your wounds again.
“What’s going on, Mig?” Jess, bless her, tries to intervene.
“This is between me and her,” Miguel bites out coldly. Jess didn’t often tolerate his bitchy behavior, but she turns to you instead. Her eyes look to you to see if everything is okay— a silent communication only women seemed to possess the power of.
“It’s fine, Jess,” You pat her shoulder assuredly, “I’ll describe some coffee to you later.”
She doesn’t look convinced that it is, in fact, fine but carries on her way regardless. She knew you well enough to be sure that you could handle yourself. She’d suspected something probably since the beginning. Yeah, you really need to come clean to her eventually.
“What do you want?” You practically hiss at Miguel. He barely moves, simply pressing a button on his watch. A portal springs up on your right.
“Not here,” He gestures to the spinning portal. Of course, this all had to be cryptic for no reason. Just another thing to torture you right now. You groan and step through the portal.
It was like walking through a door, your feet landing on solid ground in less than a blink of an eye. A quick glance around and you see you’re in Miguel’s home. It’s dark, the only light coming from the glowing city outside.
You turn to him as he exits the portal behind you.
“We couldn’t have taken the sta—”
You don’t even finish the sentence before he pulls you into him, strong arms crushing you against his chest. You’re not sure what you expected… but it wasn’t this.
It’s embarrassing how good it makes you feel almost immediately. Like just his touch cured your countless sleepless nights. The familiar warmth of his arms seeping into your varying being as if he was holding your soul. Was a hug always this good? It’s certainly better than the last one you shared with him.
The realization jolts you out of his embrace. You weren’t supposed to be together anymore. You weren’t supposed to be doing this shit anymore— right?
“What the hell, Mig?” is all you manage to gasp out.
He stands there, unmoving, his arms still reaching out after you. You can’t read his face, his expression almost blank. Shocked, maybe?
“I… I don’t know—I had to—” he pulls his hands back, examining them as if he’s just killed someone, “Where were you?”
“Where was—” you balk out an annoyed laugh. Is that why he brought you up here, to check in on you? Toying with this all like some child, “On a mission with Jess, doing my job. Are you spying on me now? Do I have to report to you still?!”
He says nothing, letting your harsh yelling linger in the large space. He looks at you again, something you don’t recognize in his eyes. Suddenly all your anger is replaced with pity. What was happening?
“You’re—” He choked on his words, just for a moment, “You’re okay?”
“Am I o—” You take a step towards him, willing yourself not to reach out and touch him. Trying so desperately to hold up that wall. The resistance you’re not sure you had.
The spider-sense… is screaming.
“Miguel… you’re scaring me.”
He nods as if to say I’m scared too. Scared of what, though? You gulp as you break the barrier. You reach out and cradle his massive hands in yours. He sighs at your touch. Something horrible happened… or was going to happen—something to bring this warrior to his knees in a way you’d never seen before.
“I… I don’t know what to do,” he admits shakily. “Little spider, I think I—”
“What do you need?” you ask immediately.
You see the corners of his mouth twitch up just briefly. Cute, but not an answer.
“What happened?” You push.
His hands trail up your arms and come to cup your face. Your eyes flutter, almost instinctively. “Just… just tell me you're okay. Right now. In this moment.”
“Mig—”
You’re not sure who does it. If he pulls your lips to his or if you jump up to meet him. Does it really matter? He tasted like freedom. Like the relief you’d been searching for all these weeks. Had you forgotten so easily? The taste of him. The feel of him. Something so indescribable— like a drug. He was your drug.
It’s a handsy fury, ripping off your clothes as you seemingly try to will his to fade away. There was no time for pleasantries, not this time. There was only hunger— unsatiated, gnawing hunger.
Need. You needed him.
He backs you against the windows, their sudden coldness sending chills up your naked body.
“Miguel, please—” you urge, for what exactly, you’re not entirely sure. Whatever he was willing to give you.
“Te tengo. Te tengo…” He chants as his mouth glides down your body, from your neck, between your breasts, and finally to your waiting cunt.
He engulfs your heat greedily. You don’t recall ever screaming so loud. Sweet, perfect relief. He was perfect.
He brings both of your legs over his shoulders and holds you there, your bare back pressed against the glass for all the world to see— not that anyone likely would from this height. And not that you really cared right now anyway. There was only him. Him. Him!
God, you missed his skillful mouth. Hungerly lapping at you like it nourished his very soul. It did, you suppose in a way. The sinful hunger helped both of you in its own way. Kept you sane. Kept you alive. You can’t believe you’ve lasted as long as you did without him.
You come embarrassingly fast, but you’re not surprised with how much you had pent up over the last month. The orgasm rips you apart like an atom bomb, exposing your raw nerves underneath. Your vision goes white, your mouth goes dry. It was everything you were trying to give yourself all those lonely nights— Miguel gave it to you in two minutes.
His mouth still sloppily runs between your legs as you come down. You squirm in his grasp, your sensitivity now turned up to eleven.
“Miguel,” You plead, “I need you. I need you.”
A rumble emanates from his chest and up your legs as his mouth comes off you. He lowers your legs, holding you at his waist. He stands at his full height again, pinning you there. He trails his mouth back up your torso, pausing at your breasts to lull his tongue over each nipple before he finds your mouth again— his mouth and tongue coated with the taste of you.
“Lo siento, arañita. Lo siento mucho.” he whispers between breaths. You know those words. He’s saying sorry. He’s sorry— you’re sorry too. Sorry for it to have come to this.
He slides inside with a pained moan. Your walls clench around him with familiarity.
“Like you were made for me,” He murmurs as his mouth slides down your neck. Though it’s completely healed over, he knows the mark he left. He stops on it, his tongue tracing the ghost of what was left there. The brand he left on your soul.
He lifts you off his cock and slams back into you brutally. Your head falls back against the window with a defined thunk as he sets a ruthless pace. Bouncing you on his cock like you weighed nothing at all. That’s alright, he can use you.
Your lude erotic sounds fill the space. Wet skin slapping on wet skin. Desperate wordless moans for more. Always more.
“I missed you. I missed you,” You don’t didn’t even realize you were chanting it until your mouth went dry.
“Shhh,” He nips at your lower lip, “I know. God, I know. I missed you too. I— fuck.”
Even amidst the animalistic lust-fueled frenzy, you could feel him trembling under your touch. His body quivering with more than just desire. Your combined anxieties manifesting into something desperate and terrifying. A need that couldn’t just be quelled with just your hands.
Even in your bliss-fogged mind, you felt like a fool for ever letting something like this go. Something so rare and beautiful.
Ever since it appeared in your life you’d been trying to describe this impossible feeling. What was a shared spider-sense? A piece of you that you shared with someone else. How can you define what felt like pure instinct? Give a name to something that was indescribable?
The only thing you knew was that something felt right when you were together. The world made sense when this man was part of it, as infuriating as he could be at times. You were his, he was yours. Not yours in the sense that he belonged to you, but yours meaning he belonged with you. A pair, a set, forever intertwined.
What was the spider-sense to you?
It was home.
It felt like home. He felt like home.
His hips come to a staggering halt as your second orgasm overtakes you. He bites down on your shoulder as he paints your walls. He stands there just for a moment before lowering you both to the ground on trembling legs. Neither of you speaks, panting out the thinning air between each other. Both of you refuse to let go, afraid that this time would surely be the last time you’d ever touch him. Keep him here, now, forever. Nothing could take him away from you right now.
“Reboot complete.” An ambient voice rings through the room. It was certainly Lyla’s but it sounded… different. More robotic.
“Oh no,” Miguel grumbles, his grip on you tightening.
“What? What is it?” Why do you feel panicked? It’s just Lyla.
Miguel pulls away, worry crossing those burgundy eyes, “I… I have to tell you something.”
Before he can continue, a familiar golden glow springs up in the middle of the room. Pixels form together to make the familiar form of the infamous AI assistant. She turns to face you both. Miguel’s suit instantly appears back on his body. You’re suddenly very aware of your nakedness, despite her being a computer program. You grab for your abandoned suit crumbled on the floor, hurriedly shoving yourself back into it.
“Geez, knock first, Lyla,” You scold her.
“You’re—” the program's gaze darts back to Miguel in an instant, “Miguel, you didn’t.”
Miguel sits there shamefully, like a scolded dog.
“I know we’re not supposed to be doing this anymore,” You come to his defense, slipping your arm into the final sleeve, “It just kind of happened.”
Lyla cock’s her head at you. Was she… confused? Did Lyla get confused? Again, she turns back to Miguel.
“You didn’t tell her?”
An unknown fear pricks at the hairs on your neck, “Tell me what?”
Miguel stands, arms outstretched to console you. His mouth was open and ready with an explanation before he was interrupted again.
“Miguel!” Another voice echoes through the large room as it enters the apartment. Gabe. He pauses at the living room entrance. “Oh no. No no no, Miggy. What is she doing here? Estas loco?!”
“Excuse me?” You start before Miguel comes to your defense.
“She’s here because I chose for her to be here,” He steps in front of you, “She has a right to be here.”
“You’re not God, Miguel,” Gabe marches over, slapping his older brother in the chest. Miguel doesn’t react, “You don’t get to make these decisions. No one does.No puedo creer que estés cometiendo los mismos errores de nuevo. No puedo creer—”
“I’ve told you this is not the same. Ella es diferente,” Miguel bites out, looming over Gabe. The younger brother does not back down.
“Bullshit!”
“Hey!” You finally scream. All eyes in the room snap to you in an instant, some angrier than others. “Someone please… tell me what’s happening.”
You see Gabe’s defenses drop, pinching the bridge of his nose as he takes a step away.
“Jesucristo, Mig.” You hear him mumble into his hand.
Miguel looks back to you, some kind of horrifying desperation pulling at his features. You’re not sure why, but it scares you.
“Arañita… Sit down. I have something to tell you.”
_______
Translations:
Te tengo. Te tengo…: I’ve got you. I’ve got you...
Lo siento, arañita. Lo siento mucho: I’m sorry, little spider. I’m so sorry.
No puedo creer que estés cometiendo los mismos errores de nuevo. No puedo creer– : I can’t believe you’re making the same mistakes again. I can’t believe—
Ella es diferente: She’s different
Jesucristo, Mig: Jesus Christ, Mig
Please please please let me know if any of this is wrong
________
Taglist:
@ineedgarlicbread @pinkiemme @thesilenthill @bontensbabygirl @fallenangelsongwolf @raerorigel @littlefreakymunson @viriexo
@w33ni3 @del-ightfulling
Taglist post here!!!
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara fanfiction#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x spiderwoman!reader#miguel o'hara x you#across the spiderverse#parallels fic#miguel o'hara smut
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Hi there!
I had some questions (or statements I wanted to discuss I’m not sure what to call them) because I genuinely don’t know much about the subject. I’m on anon right now but I may comment on my own account later. Also don’t feel obligated to answer if this makes you uncomfortable.
So I was wondering if you could articulate any thoughts on proshipping in the kotlc fandom? I wanted to know your thoughts as from my understanding (and please correct me if I’m wrong) you see it pretty positively, and I wanted to better understand the ‘issue’ (idk what to call it)
Anyways I thought I should include what I already know.
So I understand that when people participate in proshipping it does not reflect their actual worldview.
I understand that it is fictional and really doesn’t affect real life.
I think my issue with proshipping has to do specifically with it happening in the kotlc fandom, and this has to do with Keeper of the Lost Cities being a kids series. My problem isn’t specifically with that, but mostly with the amount of “kids” participating in our fandom space (not actual kids like ten year olds but from my understanding we have an array of people from ages 13-16 who I would consider pretty young)
I just worry about when people make posts about, for example, one of the main cast and an adult in the series, because the Keeper casts ages may closely reflect the actual ages of people in the fandom, we’re creating an unsafe environment and these posts may affect what these ‘kids’ think is okay in real life or for themselves.
Anyways, I wanted to share my thoughts but I really mean it when I say I want to hear your thoughts, I don’t think I know enough about the ‘issue’, especially from the other perspective.
(Also, this isn’t really about your call out post about call out posts, I’ve just seen you liking some pro shipper stuff so I thought you might be interested in that sort of thing)
Hi! Thank you for being respectful about this. First, I avoid labels like "anti" or "proship," as they tend to create an unhelpful us vs. them dichotomy. Especially when, like these terms, they have strong associations and generate strong reactions upfront. It's not, in my opinion, conducive to productive conversation
I believe that all fiction, including disgusting, depraved, uncomfortable fiction, should be allowed to exist without restriction. Whether that's incestuous, predatory, or otherwise.
We don't have to read/watch it. We don't have to like it. Or be comfortable with it. But it needs to be allowed to exist.
It's existence does not harm us (the most that happens is we realize, we are uncomfortable, and then we stop watching/reading/etc. and move on), and there is no way to reliably moderate fiction. It will always be arbitrary, and those arbitrary distinctions will always be enforced by the privileged with power, who will use it to create their narrative and silence others.
The issue many people get stuck on, like you, is about children. Now I'm not saying this is what you're doing, but I'd like to bring up the Think Of The Children logical fallacy. It's a more recent one, so it's less known, and I'm just linking the wikipedia.
What it does is switch to emotional thinking, creating this idea of these helpless little things in danger we need to protect. It creates moral panic, because what are you gonna do? Argue against the children? You monster! It can shut things down.
And while children are young and still learning and need guidance, they're also people. They have their own thoughts, reactions, and choices. They use their childhood to practice that, which is aided by fiction. Fiction is a practice run for the real thing; it can be that learning and guidance
Children take what they see in fiction, where no real people are hurt or in these scary situations, and react. They form opinions, determine what they think is right or wrong, and they have more room for error. For example, it is safer for them to misjudge an actually malicious adult in a story, learn what the warning signs were, and be more cautious going forward with no real life consequence than to make that mistake for the first time with a real person.
This is just a general overview. To specifically address this fandom and its ships, I'm going to start with this: when you were 14, did you think it was okay to date an adult? Did you ever see incestuous art/fic and start wondering if it was okay to date your sister?
Yes, consistent, repeated exposure of concepts from influential places can normalize them. Is that a genuine risk here, or what is happening? Have you seen it happen before on a wide enough scale to be generally applicable? I, of course, cannot speak for everyone, but I already knew those weren't okay by the time I joined the fandom at 13. Yes, 13 is young, but 13 year olds are capable of complex thought and reasoning. Their minds aren't going to be changed that easily, and a lot of them would probably resent the implication (even if unintentional, this is nothing against you) they couldn't figure it out for themselves. At least I would've
And more specific to keeper again: we have maybe a handful of these "weird" and "gross" ships/aus/etc. Posted by a number of people I could likely count on one hand, incredibly infrequently. This is a genuine invitation to think it through: what is that going to do?
Is that from enough places with enough power to normalize these ideas? Who is seeing it? How impressionable are they? Have they already formed ideas of right and wrong? Will this change that?
The conclusion I've come to is: 13 years old is young in the grand scheme of things, but at 13 years old you are capable of complex thought. I don't think the limited number of these "objectionable" topics and posters, which/who can be easily avoided, is going to normalize or make people think it's okay irl. It didn't happen with us, did it?
And I think, to some extent, limiting exposure or controlling media access takes away agency and choice, and that young people being able to experience difficult concepts in fiction before seeing them in real life is beneficial. This often then leads to "but what if they read something really icky they hate!" to which I say, kids aren't going to do things they don't want to. They won't watch movies, shows, or read books about things they're uncomfortable with or disinterested in. I simply put the book down and read something else.
And if they're being forced to, that's a different problem, and the solution is not to make sure the media doesn't exist or they can't access it.
This has been long, broad, sometimes specific, and more all in the attempt to be thorough. What it boils down to is: I don't think what you're worried about is going to happen, or is even slightly likely enough to genuinely plan for or worry about (not that you're unreasonable for worrying, though), and I don't think there's any trustworthy course of action that would separate the "good" from the "bad" and reliably, fairly decide who can see it and when.
I hope this helps answer your questions :). I'm happy to talk about it more, though I don't want to devolve into arguing, so if that starts to happen (with you or anyone else), I will likely end the conversation.
#kotlc#kotlc discourse#quil's queries#nonsie#also I hope it was clear none of this is intending to make it out like you're wrong or ridiculous#I think you have valid fears and concern for others#i just also think that in this instance. what you're worried about is very very unlikely. and as such#should not be used as a reference for how to act#among other things#i'm just trying to be very clear I mean this all incredibly polite and civilly
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Could you do a Wednesday Addams x gn!reader/ yoko tanka x platonic!reader
R is Enid’s younger sister and is very different *she’s blind since birth and is condescendingly treated like a baby by her family because they think she a helpless weakling that need constant supervision 24/7 depsite her being extremely gifted in playing the violin*
The only one she is close to is yoko and Enid as they’re the one ones who let her be a little indenpent. Enid litterally had to negotiate with principal weem that let r come with her to nevermore and yoko see r as a little sister as she is her roommate. Enid introduce Wednesday to her sister and falls hard for r
Her sister and yoko are happy to see r being with someone who love her dearly, but they can’t help but feel a bit overprotective
*however they know they can’t do the shovel talk to Wednesday as both are terrified of her and know she can and will hurt anyone that would lay a hand on r. They would deny nor confirm that they may have had a hand in help Wednesday in torturing those people alongside with thing and them getting into shenanigans whenever r has a date with Wednesday or uncovering a mystery 😂😂😂😂
*idk why but it would be funny if people would refer the three girls and thing as the protection squad or something or. The reason why is because while Enid and yoko are friends and Wednesday barely tolerate them and thing, they form some sort of mutual respect as they form an alliances with each other and making sure nobody messes with r. I could see Wednesday being like her dad as she unkowningly has the urge to protect r from anything that would harm her. she see r as a very beautiful and strong person with a gentle soul. While R can’t see her gf face but she can detect the sincerity in Wednesday voice and appreciate her being sweet to her and is the only one who r will allow to treat her like a baby *she know Wednesday doesn’t do it to be condescending but rather of her family curse. r is the only that Wednesday will allow to call her “Ness” She sometimes lets r be with her when playing her cello even allowing her to do a duet with her violin
I got so lost in this I think I may consider trying to make this into a series 😭…
3rd Person POV
Y/N Sinclair sat on her bed practicing her violin when her sister barged in.
"Y/n! You'll never believe this I'm getting a new roomie!" She squealed.
The younger girl smiled at the thought of her sister having someone to talk to, knowing how lonely she'd get whenever she or her roommate Yoko wouldn't be able to.
She knew how hard it was to be alone. For a werewolf solitude was a death sentence.
"The strength of the wolf comes from the strength of the pack."
Their mother always said this as their father would quietly sit back already preparing to speak to each girl separately.
"Your mother loves you she just doesn't know how to show it."
Her unseeing eyes almost rolled at the thought.
"I'm kind of worried though," her older sisters voice dropped below a whisper as she leaned in. "Rumor has it she killed one of her old school mates by dropping piranha in the swimming pool."
Y/n felt her eyebrows raise at the information before she shook her head.
"Now you of all people know better than to start spreading rumors. Don't you remember when Kent tried getting everyone to think Yoko and I were a thing?" The older Sinclair growled.
That was the tame version of events she'd given you, Kent had actually spread a rumor that you were "up for a good time". She remembered how she had threatened the boys manhood if he or any of his idiot friends even thought about looking your way. Her claws dug into his thigh, mere centimeters away from his favorite appendage as she made sure he knew just how good she'd be on her threat.
She nodded smiling. "You're right I'll wait until she gets here to get the 4-1-1 for my blog."
Y/n laughed at her sisters need for gossip. Of the two, Y/n was far more reserved than her sister.
Since she was born, her family had been...protective of her. A wolf without eye sight to them was by far the worst curse put on anyone, even worse than being sentenced to a life alone. As a child her parents kept her in their sights at all times, the only times she was truly alone and free to do as she pleased were when she'd practice the violin. The music was her only solace, which is why Enid had begged Principal Weems to grant entry for her sister to Nevermore. She knew if left alone with her parents she'd never have any type of privacy or a chance at independence.
While it was true Enid could be overbearing at times she never tried to dictate her sisters choices or influence her actions to benefit her in anyway.
.
.
.
It had been a few days since Enid showed Wednesday around and tried to get to know her. She felt that the girl was far too rough around the edges and may need to relax but she was dedicated to getting her roomie to break her walls down. Especially since she'd grown attached to Thing, who was practically her new bestie.
They were walking to lunch when the two girls caught sight of Yoko holding a lanky boy by his shirt collar against the wall. Her girlfriend Davina trying to calm her down by placing her hand on her shoulder.
The girl hissed fangs bared to the boys neck lightly grazing it with each word she spoke.
"If you even think of doing something to Y/n again I promise I'll forget school rules and make you my personal blood bag, understood?" The boy gulped nodding as he trembled in fear.
"I swear." She let him go grabbing the bag and pushing him as he ran away cowering as he met Enid's gaze.
Wednesday observed in silence as Enid's claws began to elongate, Davina rubbing her girlfriends shoulders and whispering calming words in her ear. Enid had walked up to her almost forgetting Wednesday was with her.
"What happened?" Enid asked. Yoko felt herself grow angry once she caught wind of the fur balls words. She'd overheard the boy laugh about how he'd stolen the blonde girls bag, already going through her wallet as he counted the money left inside. The fang just took a deep breath and handed the bag to the older Sinclair sibling. Enid growled lowly looking back into the direction the boy had gone.
"That's the third time this semester." She gritted out. Yoko nodded irritated.
Her relationship with the younger Sinclair sister was much like the one she held with Enid. The shorter blonde had wormed her way into her heart the minute she introduced herself. She didn't know if it was her aura of pure innocence or the smile that rarely left her face but Yoko found herself bonding with the werewolf quicker than she had expected. Vampire were usually cautious of her kind but Enid and Y/n we're nothing like the other furs. Besides the curse of the full moon, they were more alike than she'd thought.
Yoko knew all about overbearing parents and a need to be your own person. She was expected to run her coven and follow their traditional ways, including marrying a strong young male vampire. They had yet to find out about her girlfriend or the fact that she didn't want to lead.
It irked her to no end how her parents never truly listened to her. And she knew Enid and Y/n were of the select few who understood.
She couldn't fathom how anyone could want to take advantage of the blind girl.
Wednesday watched them both glancing into the direction the boy had gone.
"I don't care for bullies." Yoko and Enid looked to the goth. The vampire smirked as her fangs peeked out a bit, she lowered her glasses looking at Wednesday.
"Rumor has it you put piranha into your last schools swimming pool. The boy lost a testie." She grinned.
Wednesday merely nodded. "It's true I did fail to rid the earth of another brainless jock like Dalton but I doubt he'll make the same mistake twice."
Yoko just nodded smirking, it was nice to know there was at least one more person who wouldn't try to bully Y/n just because they could.
Enid went to take her bag to her sister. She found the girl in her room on her knees hands out trying to feel if she could find her bag on the floor.
"Y/n" the girl called softly. The younger girl shot up quickly.
"Oh hey Enid," she blushed slightly dusting the dirt of her skirt. "I was just looking for my bag."
"Right here pup." She said softly as she handed it to her. "How about we get some lunch?" The younger sister nodded.
The Sinclair Siblings sat at a table that with Yoko, Davina, Wednesday, and Eugene. Most of the group saying hi except Wednesday who kept her attention on the book she was reading.
"Wednesday," Enid called out. "This is my sister Y/N, Y/N this is Wednesday. I'm going to grab our lunches."
The goth went to give you a quick glance before she paused. You looked slightly to the left of her providing a small smile and a wave.
"Enid mentioned you're not big on touching or talking. So I'll keep it short its nice to meet you."
Your soft voice was like a symphony to her ears. Wednesday continued to stare as Enid returned sitting next to you. She looked to her roommate fully prepared to try and negotiate that she please, please be nice when she noticed something different in the pigtailed girls usually dull gaze. It looked to be...intrigue?
"Nice to meet you as well bellisima." Wednesdays eyes widened as she stood abruptly leaving without another word.
Yoko's eyes narrowed as she looked to see you blushing.
"Doesn't that mean beautiful?" Your bestfriend asked.
You shrugged paying extra close attention to your meal as Enid felt her jaw drop. You knew exactly what it meant and something about the way the word rolled off her tongue made you feel warm inside.
Did Wednesday just flirt?
Wednesday slammed the door to her room startling Thing.
"Something is wrong with me."
Thing signed frantically as Wednesday continued to shake her head at every guess he had.
"Worse." She paused. "I'm becoming my father."
.
.
.
It was late and you knew you probably shouldn't be practicing your violin but there was someone playing cello and you felt compelled to play with whoever was on the other side of campus. You went out to your balcony careful to not wake Yoko she could sleep through anything but if she were to hear you moving she'd immediately wake up to make sure you wouldn't hurt your self.
The piece began simple enough but as the cellist continued they began to increase the tempo. Half of campus shaken from the slumber at the sound of a concert hall echoing throughout. Enid smiled slightly at your playing for once not annoyed with Wednesdays late night session.
The two of you continued for a while before Wednesday had finished. She climbed back in turning to Enid.
"Who else at this God awful school may actually have acceptable music taste?" The werewolf smirked internally still fearful that her roommate would skin her alive if she did so externally. Wednesday saw a slight smug glint in her roommates eyes knowing she'd most likely hate her answer.
"Y/n." The raven held back a groan, it seemed there was even more to you that intrigued her.
As if looks weren't enough.
Enid watched her roommate quietly go to her bed, glancing to Thing who sat smugly on her desk fingers kicking like a child on a swing.
.
.
.
"Hello Y/n." Wednesday spoke softly as she went to sit next to you in Botany. You smiled in her direction.
"Hey Wednesday, I didn't know we were switching partners?"
The gloomy girl glanced over to Ajax who couldn't meet her gaze. Yoko laughing silently behind her hand as she had watched Wednesday threaten to feed him to her menagerie of pets if he didn't switch seats with her. Enid glanced amused and irritated at the scowl Xavier wore because Wednesday had chosen to sit next to you instead.
Both Yoko and Enid continued to watch Wednesday closely as she spoke to you. Both surprised when she managed to get you to laugh. Since she lived with her, only Enid could detect the microscopic changes in expression as she looked to her younger sister. Her eyes softened ever so slightly and the corner of her lips were quirked up as you'd responded to whatever she'd asked you.
Class began and the two were forced to pay attention to the lesson before them.
Wednesday couldn't help but stare at you as you listened intently to what the teacher was saying. In most cases people would type their notes but you felt the noise may disturb others so you would record the lectures and later go over the notes in your room.
The goth couldn't help but admire you. Personally, she wouldn't care if they found it to be a nuisance, yet she found it endearing that you would. It made you seem that much stronger, not letting such trivial things hinder you.
As class finished she found herself helping you by taking your books and leading you to your next class. You quietly thanked her as she did so, as you went to sit down someone's foot shot out to trip you.
Wednesday caught you by the waist standing you upright before turning to the culprit. Her eyes narrowed to see one of the Gorgon boys laughing with his friend. He looked back and froze at the sight of Wednesday's glare.
"Thanks again Wednesday." The girl immediately softened at the young werewolf's voice.
"I'll be back after class mi vida."
Wednesday sat in her next class writing a note to Thing who began to crawl his way to the boys dorms.
He placed mirrors in the boys locker-room showers before he made his way back to Wednesday.
When class ended Wednesday was already making her way in to help you.
Enid and Yoko were outside expecting to help you but froze at the sight of Wednesday walking beside you and directing you to your next class.
The two glancing at each other unable to determine if they should be happy with your newest friendship or terrified at Wednesdays unpredictability.
.
.
.
Enid babbled on about her beloved Poe Cup to Thing as Wednesday began her hour of writing.
Yoko came into the room hastily.
"Enid," she glanced to see Wednesday glaring at her as she paused her typing.
Oh shit.
The fang gulped as Wednesdays typing resumed. Enid looked to Yoko.
"Did you hear?" The werewolf just shook her head.
"That kid Josh and his friends were trapped in the locker room for hours. Someone put mirrors in there." Wednesdays typing faltered for a brief second but both girls noticed as Thing moved around "innocently".
Enid watched him as Yoko looked to see a small smirk on the ravens face.
Enid walked closer to Thing knowing if she'd ask Wednesday she'd probably make her into a nice rug.
"You wouldn't happen to know about this would you?" The hand shrugged as he continued flipping the pages of a magazine he'd gotten from the werewolf's drawer.
Wednesday knowing his will was weak glared before Yoko began coughing. The girl doubled over in pain as Enid rushed to the girls aid more people flooding in once they called for help.
Wednesday grabbed Thing as they made their escape.
"I need you to check Rowan's room while I go to the library."
The hand scurried to find more clues as a soft clicking caught the dark haired girls attention. Her usual glare softening as she found Y/N slowly making her way downstairs. She rushed to her side making sure she'd let the girl know of her presence.
"It doesn't seem safe for you to be wandering alone, querida." The girls head snapped up recognizing the voice right away. It was in her thoughts a lot lately and gave her butterflies every time she thought about the person behind it. She blushed as she felt a cool hand offer help slowly getting her down the steps one at a time.
"Thank you Wednesday, you always seem to be there whenever I need help." You couldn't see it but you felt her dark eyes on you as you both reached the last step.
"And I will continue to do so, for as long as you shall let me."
Wednesday wanted to bite her own tongue off as she had realized what she'd said. Obviously the filter between her mouth and mind was incompetent once you were in the vicinity.
She hated how soft her voice became when she spoke to you.
And how she felt this overwhelming need to protect you.
Or how-
"Thank you." She felt herself sag in defeat. You were too nice and for some reason it was her kryptonite.
"Why are you out so late?" The girl then started to shake.
"I think someone tried to hurt Yoko I smelled garlic in our room, but she’s deathly allergic and I would never eat it." Wednesdays eyebrows shot up.
That explains the coughing.
"I think it was Bianca," Wednesday found herself intrigued.
"Why?"
"The Poe Cups tomorrow." The goth nodded. Yes the competition that her roommate had yet to shut up about.
"Oh no." The girl gasped in realization making Wednesday step closer as if to protect her.
"What's wrong?"
"Yoko was on Enid's team and the cups tomorrow she doesn't have enough people." She watched the younger Sinclair sibling take a deep breath steeling herself. "Wednesday can you help me back to my room so I can get ready for tomorrow?"
The goth shook her head as Thing ran up to them holding a mask, stopping short when he saw Wednesdays hand begin to raise to the other girls cheek.
She felt her eyes rolling at what she was about to do next.
"I will help you back to your room," the girl went to turn, but a hand on her cheek stopped her short as her face was turned to Wednesday. "But I will be the one to replace Yoko at the Poe cup not you."
The werewolf's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
According to her sister, Wednesday wouldn't waste time on something as childish as games nor would she willingly help others. However the girl in front of you touching you so gently as if you were glass about to break made you think something else entirely.
"Wednesday," you breathed out. She leaned closer you could feel her just a breath away from you as your hands slowly began to lift up.
"Can I-"
Thing crawled up to Wednesdays shoulder abruptly making her glare at him. He pointed to the stairwell where Bianca and Xavier were walking down still yet to see either of you. She grabbed you, covering your mouth and hiding you behind a pillar.
"Wednesday Addams thinks she's better than everyone else and I can't wait to make her and her little werewolf roommate cry after we win the Poe Cup tomorrow." You growled behind Wednesdays hand as the two went to their rooms.
When the coast was clear Wednesday had let go of you seeing you breathe heavy as your claws began to elongate. You felt tears well up in your eyes as you realized you couldn't help Enid as much as you wanted to.
"Wednesday promise me you'll make sure Enid wins tomorrow." She grabbed your hand placing a kiss on the back of it.
"Anything for you, mi corazon.”
#jenna ortega#jenna ortega x reader#wlw post#wednesday addams x fem!reader#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday#wednesday 2022#wednesday imagine
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idk if youre still accepting requests but since I have no ability in writing i want to request a separate oneshot of eli jang and johan seong’s reaction to reader’s death T - T like VERY VERY angsty to the point where we cry, thank you!
Ummm. I completely misremembered this and thought it was a) for Taehoon (which I got inspired to write after listening to a sad song on a drive) and b) just angsty. So I'm sorry - you'll just be getting angst (sorta) with Johan cos there's a recent Eli one here. And making you cry? I'm sorry baby girI I do not have the skills to do that on purpose. God.. I'm sorry for this shitty response. Maybe I'll redo at a later date, please forgive me 😭
Johan Seong x Reader: Vision
Johan watches you.
Staring and staring and staring.
The curve of your lips, the slant of your nose, the shape of your eyes.
Counts the dimples on your cheeks - one and a half. Your left one a faint, ghost of a thing; it can barely count as one.
Counts the freckles on your shoulders - five. Fondly recalls how you sat in the sun too long with him and Eden and Miro last summer. Now you remember it on your skin forever.
Counts the flecks of gold in your eyes. Notices how they differ depending on your mood. None when you are angry, like storm clouds hiding sunlight, and too many to count when they're shining with joy.
Asks you to hold your hand up against his. Studies and compares the size of yours against his own rough and calloused one.
Johan commits everything to memory.
He asks once, if he could touch your face, to run his hands over your features. You give Johan a funny smile, and tell him of course. Whatever and whenever he wants.
So he feels your eyelashes fluttering and tickling his palms, your huff of laughter warming his fingertips, the way your cheeks pull up when you smile.
Johan, never one for casual touches, now presses his fingers against your skin any chance he gets. Makes a habit of exploring all your curves and edges.
Learns to recognise you by the sound of your breathing, the lightness of your steps, the scent of your hair.
He knows he's on borrowed time, the vision blackouts increasing in frequency. From once every blue moon to multiple times a day. He's helpless. Every path has led to a dead end.
But maybe not all is lost, he hopes, if he can see you in other ways.
#lookism#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#lookism x reader#lookism fic#seong yohan#johan seong#johan seong x reader#i dont think i have the heart to write a dead reader...yet#wannaeatramyeon
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shifting related vent kinda
idk where to put this anymore but i've been currently struggling with my shifting journey again and idk what to do
i know shifting is mostly about intention and that sort of confuses me because i do meditations, methods, and intention (the first two simply because i like to do them dw ik they're not a requirement exactly per se) and i keep waking up in this reality (or rather another reality that's the same/similar to the one i grew up in) and i don't want to do that anymore. i do not adore this reality or any more variations of it and it just discourages me most of the time. i always feel like at the end of the day i'll always mess up my progress and it will always be my fault. i don't intend to be in this reality or any more variations of it yet i always seem to be which makes me doubt myself so much. i wasn't privileged enough to grow up in a stable environment and that's my reason why i desperately want to get out of here already and even permashift. i've tried reaching out to a lot of people about it but no one seems to understand anything i'm talking about and it makes me feel worse and almost helpless even. i just feel so lost and exhausted already.
i just wished someone got to give me at least a bit of an explanation why i keep "failing" at getting to my dr every single time without sounding so desperate. :/
#shifting#reality shift#reality shifting#manifestation#shifting realities#shifting consciousness#shifting to desired reality#shifting methods#shifting motivation#shifting stories#desired reality#shifting community#shifting introduction#shifting blog#shiftblr#shifters#reality shifter#poc shifter#manifesting#master manifestor#loassumption#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loablr#anti shifters dni#shifting antis dni
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I know shippy stuff and canon-adjacent stuff is popular and I'm certainly not dissing those. I like them too, they're a lot of fun! And AUs are great, I have so many!
But man, I wish there was more... idk, emphasis and exploration of the FFXIV lore, and those moments that have to have happened but aren't shown on screen - talked about and written about and illustrated here on tumblr.
That's usually been my favorite part of fandoms, discussing the lore with other fans in-depth and sharing theories, and seeing how everyone's characters would handle those big or quiet moments from the story itself. Exploring how a game mechanic/boss fight would feel from a story perspective, and what it would mean to the characters.
It's not entirely absent from here, but even when I make my own meta posts, even if they get lots of notes, I tend to see very little discussion added compared to what I'm used to from other fandoms. And when new patches come out, there's not a lot of deep talk about the story itself circulating. Maybe I've just been lucky in my previous spaces!
But... I want to know how the WoL and Graha bonded during the Crystal Tower raids. Did they sit around the campfire at night and talk? Did they drink and sing and laugh and argue?
What was it like, recovering from Ultima Thule? How did it feel to set out on the road again, leaving the title of Scion behind? Did they give their friends a tour of Ishgard? Did they visit Edmont? What was it like in the trenches of Ghimlyt Dark, for these characters who have never seen war before, versus the ones who have? Did the WoL help stabilize Lakeland, and tend wounded after the sin eater attacks?
I want late night study sessions with the twins, bittersweet work in the hot sun rebuilding Ala Mhigo, learning to fight on dragonback, Hraesvelgr's brood visiting Ishgard on diplomatic forways. I want snarking with Emet Selch while you help people with "side quests" in Norvrandt. I want gentle moments with Ryne on the road because if anyone understands the suffocating feeling of immense responsibility Hydaelyn and Minfilia have dropped on that child, it's the WoL.
What was it like for the WoL to fight the pirates in Sastasha? To see the women taken captive there? To see the Drowned mutilated by Leviathan's tempering? How did they handle the narrow tunnels and rickety elevators in Copperbell, and the giants angry after centuries of unjust imprisonment? Did they step in Aurum Vale's goldbile and have a shoe burnt off? Did they bring a pet korpokkur home from the Arboretum? Do they carry scars?
Do they take the manacutter out for joyrides? Did Grani recognize the color of their soul, and choose them over the tempered twist of Emet Selchs, or did Emet charge his familiar with looking after them? Have they ever been robbed in Limsa Lominsa? Did they ever buy loinfruit?
Does that goobbue sproutling grow up? The coerl kitten become a battle steed? The wolf pup a guardian? Do the sylphs play games with the WoL when they visit the Shroud? Do they carry a polished shell to remind them of their Clutchfather? Do they stop by the guild to check on the Deftarm whenever they're in Dravania?
What was it like trekking the spindly mountains of Othard, riding a Yol for the first time, seeing the endless plains of green, and the dead white of the Burn?
Do they still have nightmares about Haurchefant, or are they good dreams remembering his smile? Did he teach them to make hot chocolate? Did they stay up all night when the Scions lost their souls, waiting by the bedsides with a candle and feeling helpless?
Do they visit Amaurot, even after Emet Selch is gone? Are they still trying to remember? Did they look up at the night sky in Elpis and feel an indescribable sense of loss?
Was there ever a moment in Endwalker where they almost became a Blasphemy themselves? Did they ever answer Venat's question? Do they know that the love their friends had for them, saved them?
#idk its SUCH a good story and theres so much cool lore#i want to keep digging into it and i miss having a community focused around that aspect of a game#ffxiv#ff14#wyn gabs#manifesto#apparently lol#autism brain go brrrrrrr#text#shadowbringers spoilers#endwalker spoilers#long post
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Had this idea for a while, wrote this on the train and caffeine overdose <3
Tags: raphael bg3 x reader (she/ her, human), both crying, not proofread (idk I suck at this)
ENJOY 🫶
Ending?
Showing her his true form hurt.
He hid it so well these past few months, but ofc she won't like him anymore after seeing his horns and wings.
The look on her face is almost unbearable, and raphael only manages a scoff to overplay his feelings even though his mind is racing in finding some rocky words to throw at her he just couldn't find the right ones.
Her eyes water and she puts her hand on his cheek forcing him to look at her.
"I'm sorry"
She hiccups and fat tears roll down her beautiful face.
Confusion is written over his face.
"I'm so sorry for not being safe enough for you to show me your true self what a horrible partner I am"
Her tears roll down her cheeks, staining her perfect red and gold blouse, which she got from her lover.
And for a second raphael is taken aback by reflex he takes her hand and squeezes it.
"No!" He dramatically yells as he feels like he doesn't deserve this sympathy from somebody so pure and honest, "I dont need your pity..." his voice breaks.
He wants to teach her a lesson, how dare a mere mortal have pity on him, but something beneath his consciousness wants her to stay with him and not leave him how he anticipated.
So he guids his other hand to cup her cheek and forces himself to look deep in her eyes as if not looking in her eyes would betray her.
"You have to be angry," he slowly loses his strength in his legs and kneels in front of her, "you have to curse me and and" he's completely lost since he's never experienced this kind of helplessness in his entire life.
Whenever Raphael wanted something, he'd get it. Whenever he guessed or predicted something, he'd be right, but in this moment, he's helpless and so confused.
His own feelings betray him as his eyes tear up, which is so ridiculous to him that since he's a creature of fire, he shouldn't be able to cry and especially not because of his feelings.
But as she gently wraps her arms around him, he can't help but cling at her, and even though his body temperature is too hot for her human body, she holds onto him just as tight.
Both now crying in each other's arms completely overwhelmed with their own emotions, not wanting to let go of each other.
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actually no, surprise, i have MORE thoughts bc i still have not stopped thinking about this episode
i think there's something to be said about the fact that Rick Prime lost...because he underestimated a Morty. like. OUR Rick was basically dead, he lost. Evil Morty was the reason Rick Prime lost
Also is it just me...or did Rick Prime seem afraid of Evil Morty once Evil Morty had him tied up? He was bargaining with him. Offering him a role as his sidekick because he was rapidly realizing he couldn't wiggle out of this (while still offering him a role as a 'sidekick', not an equal--feels like him scrambling to keep up the facade that he's still in control)
And honestly...Rick Prime kinda felt like he was a little afraid of our Rick too? Once he was tied down and helpless...idk maybe I'm reading too much into it but I heard a quiver in his voice when he says "Buddy, nip this in the bud!", he was desperately trying to get Rick to abandon his goal of killing him to go after Evil Morty instead. trying to posit Evil Morty as the bigger threat here
Like he tries to goad both Evil Morty and our Rick, and I swear I hear a tremor of fear in his voice when he realizes, both times, that they're not responding to it and it's not working
#spoilers#rick and morty spoilers#rick & morty spoilers#ram spoilers#r&m spoilers#COULD BE JUST ME THOUGH i have honestly seen some very compelling meta posts abt how rick prime didnt seem afraid at all#to die or anything. and i like also agree w that analysis and those posts are probably written by ppl smarter than me#so hfdskjfh shrugs#lotta good interpretations of that scene all around from others
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