#idk if anyone else feels that way because most people are either hardcore ship or hardcore anti

[perseas-wellyboots]

my feelings about percabeth cannot be expressed in words. I love them, but sometimes I can't stand them. They are each other's forever, but canonically, their relationship regressed both of them as characters into 1D people, erasing all of their nuances and something even at the cost of what made them special. i will browse percabeth tag for hours liking and rebloging cute moments and arts saving their edits on instagram but also browing anti percabeth tag because sometimes the positives arent enough

like ugh

[subjecta5newtella]

thoughts on newtmas :) go on :) i’m listening :)

sami rly said ok time for violence. this is going to be so long sorry everyone.

if we’re talking newtmas itself as a ship in itself, outside of any other influence (and specifically in the movie version, which is generally what people are talking about), I think it’s a good ship. I would have to be the most unobservant motherfucker alive to not see what people see in it, and I am not, in fact, the most unobservant motherfucker alive. it’s a good dynamic with good chemistry and realistically I think if I’d started with the movies rather than the books, I would’ve gone all in for it.

however. I personally am incapable about talking about it in isolation.

I realize from that segue it sounds like I’m about to lead into some grand moral point, but mostly I just liked how dramatic it sounded. anyway. I feel like I need to start with a disclaimer that the easiest, simplest part of this is that you tend to get attached to your first ships in a fandom, as well as your initial feelings about the characters. obviously you can change your mind about any of those things, but it does stick with you. if we’re going to be kind and skip my internalized homophobia era (please be kind), I shipped thominho and nalby because that’s what was big at the time. I also just... did not like book thomas very much, so I wasn’t about to ship him with my favorite character.

(complete and utter tangent: it’s interesting to me that people read the books now and overwhelmingly see newtmas. I recognize that every time I start a sentence with “it’s interesting that” it automatically sounds shady, but i genuinely just love Analyzing. anyway some of it’s definitely people seeing the movie first or having fandom content as a first exposure even in passing, all of which are valid ways to engage, but I do kind of find it fascinating when people talk about book!newtmas as some massive presence because then... theoretically we all should’ve seen it pre-movies? the ship existed, usually among people who hardcore multishipped, but it wasn’t anything like it is today. not at all to say that reading it like that is invalid, it’s just interesting to me the way some people talk about that interpretation, rather than the interpretation itself)

anyway. with that all out of the way, i do have some actual issues with newtmas, although it really doesn’t have anything to do with the characters or the ship itself. these are things that surround the ship and affect my feelings about it, meaning that I never bought in despite, like I said, Seeing It. my main issue with it is how much the roles of other characters have been reduced to create the ship in its current form. I’ve talked at far too much length about the way minho was adapted and honestly will probably talk about it more, because that’s the big one to me (that post can be found here, for those who don’t keep up with every rant I’ve ever gone on for some reason). I will not go so far as to say that’s required reading to fully understand this post, but I would recommend it since I don’t want to just repeat myself. so much of newtmas being the major ship feels like it’s predicated on minho not being there and not having anywhere near as strong a relationship with thomas and newt as he did in the books, and that will never sit right with me.

newt’s relationship with alby is his other most significant dynamic outside thomas and minho, and i feel like it might be surprising to hear me say this, but i get why that one was reduced for the movie. there’s only so much time in the film, so you want to focus on the characters who are going to make it past the first one. I do have a problem here, but it has more to do with dashner and with some fandom bullshit. with dashner, i think the crank palace is the worst of it (I could’ve just stopped that sentence at “I think the crank palace is the worst” but whatever). since all my rants lead back to each other, I’ll link the relevant one here, but the general gist is that my biggest problem was that newt does not seem to have any more of a post-swipe past than thomas does despite theoretically having two more years of memories. given that fact, I don’t know about you, but I would kind of expect alby to be more of a presence in his consciousness. that’s true of pretty much any of the original gladers, but newt and alby are clearly very close in the first book, and again, alby saved his fucking life. he’s literally mentioned once. dashner prioritized the newt/thomas dynamic so much that newt seemingly had no meaningful relationships with anyone else. tcp isn’t immune to treating minho badly either; like I said in that post, it sounds like newt read the wikipedia page on minho. is any of this the fault of the ship itself? does this change anything that came before it? no, but the whole thing feels massively disingenuous, and also kind of disrespectful to people who actually, like, gave a shit about the other characters. also, the way he’s retconning makes me real nervous.

the other part, like I mentioned, is the fandom more than any of the actual content. I’m aware that part of this is just a statistics game and also that’s it’s not representative of all newtmas shippers, but most of the alby bashing I’ve seen comes from newtmas people. it’s... baffling to me, honestly. what’s the point in putting down a ship being kept alive by me and like 3 other people? what do you gain by misrepresenting a character to the point of maliciousness when you could easily just not engage with them? again, I know it’s not everyone and it doesn’t have anything to do with the ship, but I’d be lying if I said things like this don’t color my perception. if someone goes out of their way to put down a ship I like, I’m not really gonna want to associate myself with their ship. I’m gonna cling to my own harder out of spite, actually.

also.... okay. so I peaced out to go do other shit between earlyish 2015 and mid 2019. and it was very weird to temporarily leave the fandom while the two main (in my recollection at least, which could be biased by who i was friends with) mlm ships each included one of the explicitly non-white characters, and come back to find it almost entirely dominated by white boy/white boy... like. I don’t wanna make a statement as simple as “the fandom is racist” because a) it’s not my place to say that, b) if we want to go into that, there are other examples of fandom racism where it’s Blatant and there really is no excuse, whereas this is a bit more complicated imo because c) like. that’s the dynamic the movies gave us. the movies focused very heavily on the newt and thomas dynamic, so of course that’s what the fandom is going to focus on. there’s a lot to say there, but that’s a different issue. it does.... still contribute to the bad taste in my mouth, though, and also contributes to me feeling like I need to keep those ships alive. it’s not about who has the Most Progressive Ship, I just feel weird about the particular shift I’ve seen here.

on a note that sounds less like I’m leveling accusations, New Relationships just aren’t my vibe. you look at my ao3 and it’s like. friends of many years to lovers. established relationship. friends to lovers to exes and back again. just from a dynamics perspective, there are other ships that are more interesting for me to explore. there. this is a lighter reason.

idk overall I don’t wanna sound like I’m on some Moral Crusade here, even though i know some of my points made it sound like that. this is really just me putting all of my thoughts that I can currently round up in one place in order to... idk, explain myself? and like it’s stupid that i feel the need to explain myself, but I know it’s weird not to ship it at this point, and I know if I did I would have so much more content to choose from and a much wider audience for my own content. there’s just baggage there thats entirely separate from the ship itself, having seen the shift and knowing what had to change in order to center newtmas. I’m not trying to sound like I’m better than anyone; I just think maybe I have a different perspective on things having been here for long enough to qualify it as a new mental illness, and that’s ultimately why I feel the way I do.

[theartfuldodger26]

Bellamort for the ship meme

 Thank you @knightessofwalpurgis for the ask and apologies for taking me a month to answer - March has been... quite the experience.  But Bellamort exists to give us comfort, so let’s get crackin’!

who is more likely to hurt the other?

Voldemort can tear anyone apart with some well-chosen words (as we see Locket!Voldemort do to Ron), but he rarely uses those on Bella, because a. she rarely deserves to be humiliated like that, and b. he just wouldn’t do that to her. 

What’s more likely, is that he hurts her inadvertently, since he may fail to understand certain emotional needs that Bella most people have - a touch, a kind word after success, casual conversation over a cup of tea. In addition to that, Bella, who is obsessed with him and the position she holds in his eyes, tends to overreact to those “omissions”, getting convinced he ‘never truly valued her’ and he’s going to ‘kick her out any day now’. 

However, let us take a moment to note the day that Bella deeply hurt Voldemort: the night of her betrothal to Rodolphus, when Voldemort proposed marriage and Bella turned him down for reasons that, in retrospect, she finds ridiculous. 

So in a way, you could say that of the two, Voldemort is the brokenhearted one, even if it’s Bella who cries herself to sleep from time to time. 

who is emotionally stronger?

They’re both incredibly strong people. 

Voldemort pulled himself out of the gutter, basically raised himself and became one of the most powerful and learned wizards ever.

Bella survived fucking Azkaban, which is code for severe depression in HP-land, so all I can do is salute her and ask for her secrets. 

The answer is a little tricky, in the sense that Voldemort appears to be a psychopath, medically speaking, who are... resilient people emotionally, if you will. This means that an event that would have had a massive effect on a neurotypical person, say witnessing a murder or war, to him it’s very blunted or even irrelevant. This description is very vague and generalising, but it’s supported by a lot of evidence. In fact, psychopaths can’t really feel fear, because their amygdala is the size of a pea, so it’s not fair comparing his emotional strength to others. In fact, I’d add that since he’s not used to “negative emotions” like sadness and fear, if they happen, they’d be more devastating to him, because he’s never learnt to cope with them, like the rest of us do. 

Bella obviously has her own emotional/psychiatric problems, but I don’t feel comfortable making guesses, since I’m not a psychiatrist and she’s no textbook description of any personality disorder I’ve heard. However, she got an interestng upbringing, that trained her to be a person of importance. So I’d say that even after Azkaban and with whatever issues she has, she can still hold her own in a very difficult emotional situation. 

I realise I haven’t answered the question, because honestly Idk. Also, take with a grain of salt anything psychiatry-related I said, I’m no expert, merely done some research, which I’m regurgitating here. 

who is physically stronger?

Naturally, Bella. She trains a lot, does ballet (which is fucking hardcore, let me tell you), enjoys physical activities and martial arts. 

However, after Voldemort’s transformation, he’s got many of his physical attributes improved, like the cat-eyes that allow him to see in the dark and so on (been reading a lot of the Witcher series as of recent so there’s that too), so he’s deceptively strong and yes, eventually stronger than her.who is more likely to break a bone? 

Bella, 100% XD She’s in battle all the time, and when taking part in Voldemort’s magical research (which is their day-job, world domination is a weekend hobby in case you haven’t noticed) her motto is ‘safety third’. 

An interesting point tho. Psychopaths have no fear and low-impulse control if they don’t train themselves. Fear is useful, informs us of danger ahead, so I HC that young Tom/Voldemort broke almost every bone in his body at some point doing something really dangerous simply because he didnt realise it’s stupid - like, say, go down a fucking cliff with waves crushing at it. Now he’s learnt to control those impulses and polices himself when it comes to danger, so no more broken bones. who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

They’re both excellent at judging characters and have tongues that sting. Bella will rarely truly dare upset Voldemort, but she does love torturing him a little with  something silly and not-truly important, like refusing sex, or messing with his OCD by taking stuff from “their proper place”. She knows that there’s only few things that tick him off: his loss of power to an infant, death and the abandonment from his mother. And she’s not that sadistic to bring up that last one unless absolutely provoked. 

Voldemort can be a tease as well, but he’s too mature and dignified for such childish behaviour most of the time. who is most likely to apologise first after an argument?

 Bella apologises compulsively out of fear she’s lost him even for things that aren’t her fault, tho in her mind they might be. However, she’s stubborn too, so if it’s a petty argument she might not apologise at all. Shes a spoilt little rich girl after all ;)

Voldemort’s never apologised in his life and never shall say the words, but he will change his behaviour if he realises he’s been wrong, because it’s the rational thing to do- also Bella is supersexy when she’s angry, so he wants to fuck her and he needs to her to be accepting to that. who treats who’s wounds more often? 

Voldemort treats Bella’s wounds more often by default, since she’s the one out in the battlefield more often, and also can be clumsy and absentminded. And very rarely *trigger alert* she might self-harm. 

Voldemort not only gets hurt rarely, but he also views it demeaning to accept help, so he won’t even mention it if he’s hurt. Bella will find out by accident or because he’s in so much pain he can’t hide it anymore, and with scold him first, he’ll storm off, she’ll hunt him down, they’ll argue and finally she’ll heal his wounds (usually his back which hurts because he’s Tall^TM) and he’ll act like a literal cat during this, touch-starved as he is. who is in constant need of comfort? 

Right after Azkaban Bella is in need of a lot of care and comfort, understandably. Her physical and emotional problems are their reality for many months after her escape, but the physical ones mend themselves relatively quickly. She’s forever changed emotionally, again understandably, but I wouldn’t say she’s in *constant* need of comfort. In an AU where they win, she’s perfectly functional as his right hand woman and partner, with only the occasional problem. 

Voldemort needs to get through his tough, bald head that he deserves love and comfort like everyone else, but he’ll never get it, so, in the whole, it’s him I’d say. who gets more jealous? 

Interesting question, because fandom’s given so many answers relating to those characters, especially since Bella is married. Starting with this piece of solid information, I’d hazard a guess that Voldemort doesn’t care that much that Bella also sleeps with her husband from time to time - maybe it even turns him on and strokes his ego that she doesnt get all she needs from her legitimate, pureblooded husband. How he’d react if she slept with a random bloke... probably badly; tho I cant think of a situation where that’d happen. My Bella at least, doesnt sleep around. She might tease with her sex, but she’s a well-bred lady after all, who does what is expected of her. 

Voldemort, I HC, used to be a bit of a whoremonger in his youth; good looks, mummy issues and no emotional attachment are the ingredients for that particular potion. Also he might have also been overcompensating for the fact that he was unable to marry the only women he found worthy of him: his pureblooded classmates. So he’d show up with a different, gorgeous girl at parties, which drove child!Bella crazy with jealousy, since she was still out of the healthy sexual attraction part for him and never thought he’d notice her. She’d stalk him behind curtains and through keyholes, keep her ears on alert for when the adults talked about him etc. Poor thing was really tortured by it. But now that they’re adults and, well, in a relationship, she’s far too confident to think he’d seriously care for another woman; after all, half the time she’s not sure he truly cares about her, and she’s the person who’s been closest to him. 

One thing I forgot to mention about Voldemort’s jealousy, or lack thereof, is that Bella has certain emotional needs that he cannot serve, and I’m not talking about tenderness, because to some degree he can give her that, and it’s not the same with her husband anyway. No, I mean that Bella is a sexual sadist, who gets direct sexual pleasure by hurting people. Voldemort on the other hand, is not a masochist. Not that when they have rough sex/BDSM sex he’s never in a sub position, but he’d never just sit there to be whipped or something, it just doesn’t turn him on, and that’s totally fine. So they may invite a girl (and very rarely a boy) to join them, so that Bella can get it out of her system if the war is slow/over. Don’t ask where these people end up, just don’t hang your coat in the second floor closet is all I’m saying. who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

Depends on the situation? 

Bella would NEVER abandon Voldemort in battle or for the Cause. In a Muggle setting though, if he pissed her off she’d totally walk out of the restaurant :P 

Voldemort would never walk out on Bella either, tho, would he? He’s devoted to her, plus he does feel like he owes her after Azkaban. 

The only concept I can imagine relevant to this is Voldemort saying something in his anger that he doesnt exactly mean tho it holds some truth in it, that hurts Bella so deeply, that she leaves, both out of spite but also because she thinks it’s the best for him. In fact, I have a very specific HC for this which takes place in the afterlife, after they;re both killed in the battle for Hogwarts, but there’s no time for that here. 

There’s also another thing, but it’d quite controversial. If you, like me, HC that Bella started training with Voldemort since she was a child, and entered a sexual and later romantic relationship with him while still underage, this means that she literally hasn’t been alone as an individual, ever. So there’s also the chance that she, after they’ve had a huge fight and he’s terrible with her, leaves so she can find who she is without him. *cue the tears*who will propose? 

Voldemort did propose, on the night of Bella’s formal betrothal. Very rude and uncourteous of him, yes, but it had to be the last minute for him to realise his feelings, because he only has one (1) brain cell that works part-time on the Emotions Department of his brain. She turned him down, because she was young, immature, didnt realise how deep her own feelings were (she believed what her mother told her, that ‘all girls fall for Riddle, it’s an infatuation, it will pass’), wanted the power, fame, money and public adoration that her position as the Black Heir brought, not to mention that she was loyal to her family and terrified since Andromeda had just eloped with Ted. So she broke his heart then, even if neither realised it. But they did continue with their affair, because that’s how it happened in the olden days if you had money and space. 

After the war is over, neither proposes. They talk about it as a given (Rodolphus has fucked off to study penguins in Antarctica) and only need to figure out the details: how public it will be, who’s invited, what titles the ceremony gives them and so on.  who has the most difficult parents?

Spoiler alert: Voldemort’s an orphan! 

Okay, so hypothetically speaking, had any of his parents survived and raised him one way or the other, they’d for sure be a handful. Tom Sr. is a posh bloke used to getting his own way and being considered special due to his status as a squire, so he’d be fucking pissed if he were introduced to a world where he’s not all the shit. Nonetheless, I’d hazard a guess that in the end he, Bella and her parents would get along well-enough; after all they’re the same sort of people. 

Merope, on the other hand, is a whole other story. In the most sensible AU, where she survives giving birth and raises her son but they’re still poor and she’s got trouble with magic due to the trauma of Tom Sr. leaving her, I think she wouldn’t like Bella at all actually. Because Bella is all she ever wanted to be: beautiful, wealthy, well-bred and shows it, and, most importantly, emotionally strong. So she pesters Tom all the time about how Bella is not ‘feminine enough’ in her behaviour, too outspoken, too bitchy, not for ‘her boy’. Tom/Voldemort gives exactly one shit about her opinion and moves on. 

In the canon universe, it’d be naive to say that Bella’s parents were into Tom, simply due to his blood status. In the longrun, however, I think they'd come to terms with it, and they remember how brilliant and ambitious he was in school, so when he becomes successful in life, whether in-universe as Voldemort, or Minister or whatever in an AU, they’re sort of okay with it. Idk if they hand over the Heir of Blacks title to Bella tho, their kids wouldn’t be pureblooded after all. who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

No one. Not allowed. Not happening. Ever. It’s not their thing, anyway. Voldemort will offer her his arm, like a gentleman, tho. :)

who hogs the blankets? 

Bella, especially after Azkaban. She sleeps with five blankets piled on top of her, has the fireplace going all year round and puts a warmth charm on the sheets. Voldemort doesn’t care. He experienced such cold temperatures in so little clothing as a child, that hot and cold make little impression on him; he even takes cold showers because it’s all the same to him. *sobs* who gets more sad? 

Bella. She overthinks everything. Did she disappoint him today? Yesterday? Tomorrow? Will she ever be the person she was before prison? Why does Cissy wince every time she sees her? Should she have had children after all? These and all sorts of thoughts race through her mind all the time, torturing her to no end. 

Interestingly enough, psychopaths in general dont get that sad, but Voldemort can be very... pensive. who is better at cheering the other up? 

Bella has a wicked sense of humor that only Voldemort seems to find hilarious (comments from other people include ‘disturbing’, ‘scary’ and ‘morbid’), and even though he’s rarely sad, he can be very very serious and in need to relax his body and mind. 

Still, Voldemort, the eternal student of human nature that he is, if he does notice that Bella is sad (which isn’t always because he’s... you know), knows exactly how to distract her, just like he can do with any other person. Just, in her case, it’s sincere. who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

No one ever hits anyone. Voldemort’s been beaten and whipped and flogged enough as a young boy that he wouldn’t do it to the only person he cares about in a non-sexy way, and Bella’s been raised to view such things as ‘Muggle animalistic violence’. She might bite him hard for fun, tho :Dwho is more streetwise?

This may come as a surprise to you because of my username, but Voldemort grew up on the streets in a  Dickensian world. He knows all the tricks in the book; in fact he created many of them. Bella begged him to take her along in his travels incognito, and not on these formal things she attends with her family, and he did, so she’s learnt a lot, but she’s very much a pampered princess. who is more wise?

Hmmm... Hard to say. They have their areas of wisdom and their areas of not-having-a-fucking-clue. Bella, for example, understands emotions better than Voldemort, because she actually experiences them. Jk, jk, but you get what I mean. She’s also more knowledgeable in certain magical things, that, for example, not all prophecies have to be fulfilled and that there’s so much magic that it’s pointless to wish to acquire *everything*; had Voldemort listened to her more often, the books would have been very different. 

Voldemort of course is much older and has more diverse life-experience. He’s also less impulsive in his older years than Bella; he can be the voice of rationality and reason if he’s not superobsessed with something; at which point Bella should remind him to take his meds, because they really do help with fixations. who’s the shyest? 

Neither, in the strict sense of the meaning. They both know what they want and they’re not afraid to demand it. In the end, it’s Voldemort who’ll never say what he truly needs and feels, though, speaking about their everyday life together, it’d be Bella who’d rather have more affection from him but is too shy to ask. But yeah, Voldemort, not because he’s shy per se, but rather in deep hurt and denial. who boasts about the other more? 

In the books it’s obvious that it’s Bella. However, Voldemort does this hilarious thing where he praises Bella in random conversation with other people without even noticing; like, he brings her up every ten seconds even if she’s barely relevant to the subject, so *shrugs* have your pick. who sits on who’s lap?

Nobody, because they’re both tall. Bella will straddle him even in a non sexual manner from time to time, and they often spend their evenings relaxing on the same sofa: Bella will put her legs on Voldemort’s lap and he strokes them absentmindedly (after all they’re superlong and soft and hot), and Voldemort, who refuses to nap in bed, might catch a nap with his head on her lap. The reason Bella doesn’t nap with her head on his lap is because he’s very thin and his femurs hurt her skull, when she’s got plenty of skirts and petticoats cushioning Voldemort. Finally, Bella often sleeps with her head on his chest, because his heart-beat, even tho abnormally slow, relaxes her panic attacks, after Azkaban that is. He will then stroke her hair compulsively - it’s a bit of a fixation of his.

Well,what a ride! Thanks again @knightessofwalpurgis for the ask, this was tremendous fun to write, especially after a very difficult month! And it did help put some of my thoughts on those evil babies in a row. Hope you found it entertaining! I get that those types of asks are usually made for monolectic answers, but yeah, explanations are better. If you made it to the end, dear reader, thank you very much for your time! 

[misscrawfords]

A8, B6, B7, C1, C9, D10 :)

A8: what was your first fandom? Are you still in that fandom now?

I guess my first fandom in terms of reading fanfic was Jane Austen. When I was about 12 I would spend time in the public library reading P&P fanfic on the Derbyshire Writers Guild. And while I don't do that specifically very much any more, it does happen and I guess I am part of the Jane Austen fandom, on and offline!

B6: what is your favourite story trope? Why?

At the moment, social media AU. Twitter fics, meeting online, online identity as a mask, group chat shenanigans, I LOVE IT. Why? I guess a number of reasons. It's something both very modern and very traditional. It's an updating of the epistolary novel and it's a way of doing very common tropes of mistaken identity and separated lovers but it's also using new media in often very original and clever ways. Besides which, it's something very present in my own life and a form of communication I feel comfortable with. I'd be lying if I said I didn't fantasised about meeting someone online in a fandom and falling in love.

B7: which character is your favourite to read about? Why?

Of all fandoms ever?! I honestly have no idea. Whichever characters are involved in whichever ships I'm invested in in any given fandom.

C1: what trope are you tired of reading? Why?

Uh, certain smut tropes make me very tired. Daddy kink, dirty talking and everyone talking about being "wet". Like, even in the most ridiculous of PWPs, I just cannot believe that a near total stranger would say "Oh, little girl, you're so wet for me" and the response is positive and not RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE or that a pair of nice virgins would completely change personality and start dirty talking about wanting to be spanked in their first (or any) sexual encounter. Is this the influence of hardcore porn or something? I'm not anti-kink in its appropriate place but this seems to be THE way to write smut atm even when it seems wildly OOC and I don't like it. I just don't think most people talk like this??? IDK.

C9: what show did you really try to watch but just couldn't?

Quite a few! Tried both Poldark and Outlander and didn't like either. Also Boys Over Flowers because I'd heard great things but the male lead seemed very abusive and I found the main relationship very distasteful.

D10: what is one story idea you really want to read but no-one has written?

Ooooh! More Reylo social media/online identity AUs. There are some fantastic ones but I want more! Also 50 chapter Tom/Mary or Charles/Mary canon-compliant-but-she-doesn't-marry-Henry fics. I need them. Charles comes back from Poland. Mary goes to Poland. Whatever. I want them!

Thank you!! Anyone else who wants to ask, go for it! :)

[xfirechickx]

Arrow Rewrite

So I’ve (finally) caught up with the latest seasons of all the DCTV shows on Netflix, and to the utter surprise of no one, including myself, Arrow has definitely not gotten any better since the first two seasons, and the only good thing that’s come out of this train wreck of a show since killing off the Black Canary, is bringing Katie Cassidy back as the Black Siren. But still, to say that this show is a huge disappointment is a gross understatement, so much so, that the only reason I still watch is for Katie and for the annual crossovers. But, to actually make keeping up with the show tolerable, I had to pretty much mentally rewrite most of the show and headcanon the shit out of it, and make my way through with all the denial I can manage. So, this is how I like to pretend that the show actually went. And even though I doubt anyone will read this - this is more for my getting my thoughts down -  bear in mind, this is super anti F*licity with all the nolicity feelings I have. Also, after reading a whole bunch of posts with the same feelings as me, this became a sort of mashed clusterfuck of ideas that came together from everywhere.

SO first of all, Laurel is a metahuman, you know, like she should have been. What the fuck was the idea behind not giving her actual powers? That’s just stupid. So yeah, either Laurel was in Central City when the particle accelerator exploded, or some other freak accident gave her the canary cry. I don’t care how it happened, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that Laurel is the team’s meta, and it caused her to want to don a mask even before Sara was killed.

Next, I’d like to think that she got the hang of street fighting a lot faster. Like, I appreciate that it took her awhile to be able to handle herself on the streets, but this “Oliver is the best fighter” mindset is absolute bullshit. Ik we’ve all been thinking of the Arrow as a bargain-bin Batman (and the horrendous bullet we dodged that was the mere suggestion that F*licity could ever be anything close to Oracle didn’t help), but I am so sick of Oliver’s fighting abilities being thought of as if he was the freaking Batman. Bullshit. I’ll admit, Oliver can fight and hold his own; he’d have to to be a vigilante facing down supervillains on a constant basis, that’s fine. But the Black Canary is one of the best fighters in the DC universe, and I will be damned if that was never acknowledged here. 

So the way I see it, Laurel not only kept up with Oliver and Roy while on patrol, but after he came back from his new life in Ivy Town, Oliver comes to realize that she’s actually better than him. Like, I want them to be out on the field, and she’s literally outdoing him at every turn. And at first, he’s all, “Damn, I must be a bit rusty,” but it becomes clear after a couple more episodes, when he no longer has that excuse, that she’s actually running circles around him, whether it’s on patrol or while they’re sparring. In fact, I want an entire scene of them sparring in the bunker, and as distracted as everyone else is doing their own thing, everyone can clearly see that she’s holding back, and Oliver thinks that her head’s just not in it.

Oliver: Come on, I know you can do better than that!

Laurel: Nah, it’s okay. This is a good pace.

Oliver: Come on, you’ll never get better if you don’t give it your all. Let me have it!

And then she brutally knocks him on his ass.

“Lucky shot,” he grumbles as he gets up and gets ready for another round, and Laurel has a look on her face that’s almost annoyed, but honestly, she’s been waiting for forever to knock him down a peg. Diggle, Thea, and Roy are trying not to laugh in the background.

And speaking of Thea and Roy, holy shit, Roy doesn’t leave! Whoever came up with that idea needs a good smack. Team Arrow comes up with literally any other plan and Roy fucking stays! Thea, is instead given the mantle Artemis with her own outfit. Yeah, ik it still wouldn’t give us the Artemis Crock storyline, but it’s still better than the Evelyn Sharp bullshit that we ended up with. We currently have two tech geniuses on the team, what’s wrong with three archers? They could continue having their relationship ups and downs as subplots as the show goes on. I would even like that at some point, they decide to get their own place together, and Thea decides to sell her old apartment (you know, the one she was brutally stabbed in) to afford a nice one with Roy. And I would like F*licity try in vain to hide how much of an asshole she is by getting all indignant about it. Like, Thea offers to sell it to F*licity first, but she tries to spin it like, “You didn’t want it anymore, so I took it, so it’s mine now?” And everyone’s like, “What? No, that’s literally her apartment, which she bought with her father’s money? Idk how the hell it came to be thought of as yours anyway?” And she eventually has to break down and either buy it or move out because Thea and Roy have their hearts set on getting their own place.

As far as nolicity goes, I always thought that they would at some point have a brief relationship (a ship that I originally didn’t care for, but quickly became my ultimate notp) which would be doomed from the start due to having little to no romantic chemistry, and even though F*licity definitely had a strong sexual attraction to Oliver, she mostly seemed to view him as an older brother; or at least, Oliver viewed her as a slightly annoying younger sister.

But because of Guggenheim’s constant interference, the will-they-won’t-they crap just kept dragging on and on and on until holy fuck I have negative five care points to spend on these two assholes, just give me more BC! Their relationship has to be the most boring aspect of the show, something that’s definitely not helped by the fact that F*licity is an emotionally abusive and manipulative piece of shit Mary Sue. Seriously, for the amount of times that she’s been really vocal about how hypocritical and controlling she is, it just boggles the mind how few times anyone has called her out for it. I say few, because it has happened before, twice I believe, once by Oliver, who calmly insisted, “Enough,” and once by Ray Palmer after she threw his dead fiance in his face. Classy lady, isn’t she? But the farther this show goes on, the more she gets away with and the more infuriating it is that Oliver becomes the bad guy in her place. And holy shit the fact that literally everyone needs to assure Oliver - and the audience - that they are, in Guggenheim’s world, the perfect couple. I honestly can’t tell anymore if he actually believes this, and is just trying to shove his own weird obsession with EBR down everyone else’s throats, or if he’s just trying to get those of us who don’t like the ship to come to the dark side. Either way, I’m not buying any of this shit. SO, for every time that there’s a character to remind everyone how “good” Oliver and F*licity are together, take a shot, and then block out their words and then replace them with various observances and reassurances on Oliver’s behalf. I’d like to think that those closest to him, like Diggle, Laurel, and Thea were totally ready to call F*licity out on her shit whenever she started taking things out on Oliver, but he would subtly shake his head and calmly assure them later on that “F*licity’s right, I’m wrong. But no really guys, we’re totally happy together, I’d just appreciate it if you guys not confront her because she’s the queen of right on every subject ever and I’m just lucky to be with her.” 

And the rest of Team Arrow just reluctantly agrees not to say anything unless Oliver is the one to bring up that he has a problem with her, but are totally ready to throw down at moment’s notice. Even people outside of Team Arrow notice it and tend to comment, with characters like Mick and Constantine on the crass side of the spectrum with phrases like “Does she occasionally let you take your balls out of her purse?” and more sensitive words from people like Barry and Sara, who actually try to get it through his head that, despite what F*licity says, not everything is his fault, and he does not deserve to be kicked around by her over situations that he had little to no control over (Samantha and William, anyone?)

And then there’s Damien Darhk. Hoo boy, my hate towards him killing Laurel burns with the fury of a thousand suns. There was literally no reason for it, you know, besides eliminating her as a threat to Nolicity. Except, she wasn’t even a threat?? It was pretty clear that Laurel and Oliver weren’t even considering a romantic relationship, and even I, as a hardcore GA/BC shipper, didn’t even want them to get back together at this point. Despite the unintentional victimization of Oliver, Laurel absolutely did not deserve any of his shit. So, as much as I wished that F*licity was the one who died, Laurel was still targeted by Darhk in order to get back at Lance, but she doesn’t just die and that’s it! She gets to be critically injured - getting intentionally stabbed by a former member of the League of Assassins tends to be pretty life-threatening - but she does get to heal while in the hospital and make it back out onto the field to continue as BC.

Hell, I’d even be okay with her actually dying that night if, and only if, they brought her back. For a universe based on superhero comic books, Guggenheim and company seemed to have totally forgotten (or just outright ignored) how often characters get brought back from the dead, at times in pretty nonsensical ways. But here, there was a way to conceivably bring her back; there were three in fact: In Arrow, the Lazarus pits would have been available; Flash could have brought her back with the introduction of Flashpoint, or you know, Sara, who happens to captain a fucking timeship could have brought her back, either by manipulating the timeline, or by pulling a Kingsmen II and had just shown up right after Darhk stabbed Laurel to revive her. I would’ve happily gone along with Team Arrow believing that Laurel was dead if the plot twist was that the Legends brought her aboard the Waverider so that Gideon could heal her.

Sidenote: ik that this would have never have happened simply because all of the Arrowverse shows have to check in with each other to some degree so that they’re all on the same page, but wouldn’t it have been absolutely fan-fucking-tastic if, after Arrow had confirmed that BC was for sure dead and wasn’t coming back, that Flash and LoT just totally undermined it. Like, if Laurel was brought back with either Flashpoint or the Waverider, and KC’s just hanging out on a different set while Arrow just tries its damnedest to discredit them?

Arrow: She’s dead.

Flash/LoT: Well she was, but she got better.

Arrow: She’s def not coming back.

Flash/LoT: Not until you learn to be nice to her anyway.

Arrow: She’s not the real Laurel. Our Laurel is D E A D

Flash/LoT: Nope, this is definitely her, and she’s going on cool adventures with us because SHE’S A DAMN GOOD CHARACTER AND YOU DICKBAGS NEVER DESERVED HER

All the while more of Arrow’s fans flock to every show except Arrow until the assholes in charge of the decision to kill Laurel finally have to (publicly) beg to have her back because literally no one will watch their shitty show anymore without BC, and then they’re forced to respect her character and give her a fair amount of screen time. That would just be poetic justice in my book.

So as season 5 kicks off, Oliver, Roy, AND Laurel take in and train the new recruits to join Team Arrow. I don’t have much to change about this season except that since Laurel isn’t dead, and as much as I like Juliana Harkavy, there’s literally no reason to bring in Dinah Drake. Also the shared hallucination in the Invasion! crossover partially rekindles the romance between Laurel and Oliver, which actually feels pretty heartfelt and like it could possibly lead to them getting back together for real. 

And then F*licity ruins it because that’s what she does.

F*licity and Oliver get back together and things progress normally, with the rest of Team Arrow quietly building up a resentment towards the abusiveness of their relationship. I’d also like to think that since Curtis had progressed as a team member, that there’s a slight undertone of “what is she even here for anymore?” among them. Like, whenever she butts in with her hypocritical opinions, someone else will actually step in like, “Hey, you’ve had a long day, so why don’t you go ahead and go home. Don’t worry, Curtis knows what he’s doing, so we’ve got this. Yes, we’ll call you if we need something, but don’t worry. You’ve worked hard today! You deserve a break!” Meanwhile, the rest of the team is literally patching themselves back together with bandages and whatnot, blood and sweat everywhere, all giving each other The Look™ when she nods like, “Yeah, you’re right, I could use a hot meal and a shower. Plus, this tracking system is so simple an idiot could use it, just try not to fuck it up while I’m gone.” Still, no one says anything because Oliver is back to trying to make it work between them, and she occasionally helps William with his homework, so he can’t complain.

William btw, while appreciating the fact that F*licity brings intelligent conversation with her, has not forgotten how much of a bitch she was when trying to save him. Sure, he wasn’t present while all the shit-talking was going down, but there was no way that Samantha didn’t mention it at least in passing later on. “I’m amazed at how much Oliver has grown as a person. He was a real jackass when I knew him before, but he was genuinely worried about you and how we’d get you back. I just wish that the blonde chick he was working with wasn’t being such a pain about it. Like she had any right to any of our business, or any right to be a bitch about the rescue mission.” At this point, nolicity’s domestic life is pretty much out of some crappy fanfiction, and I will be damned if William doesn’t get to bring up F*licity’s pettiness at least once.

And since F*licity apparently feels threatened when Oliver’s past love life gets brought up, William tends to go to his Aunt Thea whenever he feels the need to talk about his mom without having to feel as if he’s the one bringing up a touchy subject. She’s also the one to get him out of the house whenever Nolicity gets especially nauseating at home, and he ends up growing a bond with the rest of Team Arrow in the process. While he still doesn’t want Oliver to be the Arrow anymore, he grows to respect the rest of the team, and ends up with all of their numbers in case he needs any of them to kidnap him for the day. He gets to spend some time in the bunker while they’re out on missions (with Diggle under the hood, of course). Funnily enough, after one mission without F*licity or Oliver, he asks Thea, “So what exactly do you need F*licity for anyway?” And Thea explains that she’s usually down in the bunker handling all the tech stuff while they’re all out in the field, but then he says, “Yeah, but Curtis was handling all that and working in the field??” And Thea and Roy exchange The Look™ again and change the subject.

Things finally come to a head during the Crisis on Earth-X crossover. Oliver, totally taken by the magic that is WestAllen still proposes during the rehearsal dinner, and F*licity, still very publicly says no. Classy. Naz*s invade and everything goes to shit, and Oliver and F*licity still try to make things about them while shit is literally falling apart around them, and to the people whose wedding actually got ruined for some reason. To her credit, Iris doesn’t outright tell F*licity that she’s being a self-obsessed drama queen at what is literally the worst possible time, but she does put out a few comments that both remind F*licity that it was in fact Iris’s day that was ruined, and gets her to shut the fuck up.

F*licity: Oh, wah! Oliver and I had a fight and then naz*s ruined any chance of makeup sex! Wah!

Iris: They literally ruined my wedding and abducted my groom.

F*licity: *internally* oh fuck I forgot about that

Meanwhile on Earth-X:

Oliver: Oh, wah! F*licity said she wouldn’t marry me after I proposed at your rehearsal dinner! Wah!

Barry: Yeah, what the fuck was that about anyway?

Oliver: Ikr? She wouldn’t say yes even after all the beautiful things that were said during the speech! If that doesn’t scream romance, idk what will!

Barry: I actually meant, why the fuck would you propose at the rehearsal when you can do it at literally any other time that isn’t supposed to be about Iris and I getting married?

Oliver: There was magic in the air!

Barry: *facepalm*

No, but the conversation between Barry and Oliver would go on to a touching, if not repetitive explanation about how Oliver was so taken, not just with Barry and Iris’s union, but the idea that Barry has been able to balance his life as a hero and his personal life. Oliver had once told him, “Guys like us don’t get the girl,” but Barry actually did it. And Oliver was envious, because his own life was one clusterfuck after another, with an on-again-off-again relationship that he’s only sort of making it work, and after the Dominator’s simulator, he realized how much he wanted his life as Oliver Queen to be fulfilling and filled with love, and how much he wants a partner in both halves of his life, like Barry and what he has with Iris. And throughout all this, Barry listens and quickly notices that throughout his whole explanation, Oliver never once uses F*licity’s name; he doesn’t even bring her up specifically. Barry probably means to point this out, but Oliver brushes him off thinking that he’s just going to tell him off some more, because that’s what he’s come to expect from having F*licity around all the time, and that’s what people who love you do, right?

It’s actually Snart’s doppelganger who points this out (after eavesdropping on their entire conversation) and suggests that maybe Oliver just hasn’t found the right person to be his partner the way he wants. “Just look at Barry and Iris, or me and Ray.” Oliver shrugs him off too, and just resigns himself to the loneliness of either being without F*licity, or being with her in all the wrong ways.

They get back to Earth-1, Supergirl is saved, yadda yadda yadda. I would like to change Stein’s death into him also making a miraculous recovery and leaving the show still intact. Just, using naz*s to kill off a Jewish character? REALLY?? Fuck all of that. Anyway, Barry and Iris still decide on an impromptu wedding right after *insert literally any event that doesn’t involve killing off Martin so disrespectfully* and Barry still brings Diggle to perform the ceremony, and Joe, Cecile and Wally are present because of course they fucking are. You could even argue for Cisco and Caitlin, but it doesn’t matter to me as much if they’re there. So Barry and Iris exchange vows, say their I do’s, and-

Fucking F*licity interrupts. Because of course she fucking does. “Would you marry us, too? Would you marry me?” A moment of silence and then everyone just explodes.

Barry: Seriously, though? After waiting my entire life for this, two more seconds is literally all I could have asked for

Wally: I’m a speedster, and I could have waited a couple more seconds

Iris: Really? Can I not just have one (1) wedding go uninterrupted?

Joe: In retrospect, we probably should have waited until these assholes left and done this at STAR Labs or something

And F*licity just gets overwhelmed because she’s literally never had so many people tell her she was wrong in her entire fucking life and Diggle tries to mediate (no matter how much he agrees with the rest of Team Flash).

Diggle: F*licity, you don’t even have a marriage license.

F*licity: Oh, no, it’s okay, John! We could just share the moment with Barry and Iris, and then go get a marriage license when we get back to Star City and have our own wedding there.

And then everyone explodes again because, seriously what the FUCK? “So I have to share my second interrupted wedding, and you’re just going home to have another one of your own?” And literally everyone is so fucking frustrated and angry, even more so because they all knew they should have been celebrating at that very moment but F*licity seems to think her awkwardness is still cute when it might just be the most infuriating thing ever. Finally she turns back to Oliver, who hasn’t said anything since she proposed like, “Hey?! A little help here?!” And Oliver is busy with finally seeing her without the rose-colored glasses and seeing her as the selfish and problematic person she is and it’s fucking glorious because he’s just so calm but everyone hears him when he just says, “No.”

F*licity: What? NO? What do you mean, NO?

Oliver: No, F*licity, as in, no, I’m not gonna help you ruin their second wedding, no I’m not going to defend you after fucking this up, and NO I won’t marry you. Not here and definitely not now.

Everyone else is pretty taken aback because up until now, no one’s ever told Queen Fefe off and they’re all doing an internal happy dance at how, for once, Oliver isn’t backing her up. Oliver and F*licity have a staring contest, F*licity waiting for him to back down, and Oliver holding his ground, until F*licity, finally realizing that she’s been unanimously outvoted, just storms off without saying anything, probably expecting Oliver to come running after her to apologize. But he doesn’t. He actually just quietly apologizes to Barry and Iris, and stays in his place as a groomsman (best man, my ass) and stands and waits for Cecile to take up her new place as matron of honor (how the fuck Fefe got that position is beyond me) all the while having this look on his face that says “It had to be done, but I’m gonna catch serious hell when I get home.” Diggle repeats himself in pronouncing Barry and Iris as husband and wife, they kiss, and the crossover ends with an UNBLOCKED shot of them two while their remaining wedding party claps it out.

I would keep everything in the gift scene in next episode of The Flash exactly the same except for Iris’s line is changed to, “Okay, not on the registry, but I guess trying to get married during our wedding wasn’t on the registry either. I’m not bitter.���

The whole wedding reception scene in Arrow is also completely done away with, and replaced with a long-awaited breakup scene, the one to end all breakup scenes (between nolicity anyway). Down in the bunker, it starts off with (what else?) F*licity trying to blame everything on Oliver. “Shit like this is why I didn’t wanna marry you. And then I put MYSELF out there and what do I get? Rejected, that’s what! I get rejected and humiliated in front of everyone!” And then she rambles on and throws in a couple references of the island and how he hasn’t changed since his frat boy days for good measure. Some guilt tripping and a few hypocritical statements later, and then she ends it. Or, at least, that’s what it’s supposed to be, but it really comes off as more of a threat to end it. Her closing statement sounds a lot like “You better straighten up because you’re damn lucky to have me.”

And Oliver just kind of silently stews until she finishes and he immediately jumps into how far he’d obviously come since his five years on the island, and how unfair it was for her to throw that in his face, and even worse how she tried so hard to justify butting her way into Barry and Iris’s special moment to further put herself in the spotlight. She tries to butt in a couple times (like she does) but gets immediately shut down because hell to the fucking no that was not okay. It ends with them trying to yell over each other, and F*licity yelling, “Well maybe I shouldn’t even be on this team anymore since you’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t need me!” right as the rest of the team walk in. They immediately try to backtrack, but F*licity, being her usual dramatic self yells, “No! No, you stay! I’ll go! He obviously doesn’t need me anyway!” and just leaves.

The rest of the team is just so shell shocked and embarrassed at having walked in at that exact moment (they’d all secretly been hoping to be there at that exact moment because that’d mean they’d officially have permission to drag F*licity the way she should have been several seasons ago) but the moment turned out to be more awkward than anyone could have hoped, so no one really knows what to do. “You alright, Hoss?” Oliver pretends that the past minute never happened and redirects everyone’s attention to the latest update on Cayden James. Meanwhile, Laurel, recognizing that Oliver is going to opt out of dealing with the problem, quietly excuses herself and leaves the bunker after F*licity. And Laurel finds her just outside the bunker, pacing because was she was actually expecting Oliver to run up after her after causing that big scene.

Laurel: That was some fight you guys just had.

F*licity: What, oh that? Nah, Oliver’s just being a jerk. Don’t worry about me, we’ll be-

Laurel: Where the hell do you get off talking to him like that?

F*licity: Wait, what?

Laurel then unleashes the mother of all lectures, bringing up every single problematic thing F*licity has ever said or done, which is pretty much anything and everything anyone has ever had to complain about the Mary Sue-ish nature of her character, every time she’s been an asshole, every time that she and the rest of the team has wanted nothing more than to tell her to shut the fuck up but how Oliver had asked them not to because of how much he wanted their shitty relationship to work, whether they were together or broken up at the time. F*licity tries to keep a stoic facial expression, but it’s pretty clear that she’s embarrassed and angry and incredibly surprised because damn, first Oliver and Team Flash, and now Laurel is calling her out on her shit and she was so far from expecting it. Laurel, to her credit, never even raises her voice, because she doesn’t want the rest of the team to hear and get involved, and she makes it clear that no one is kicking her off the team (if she wanted to leave, then that was her own prerogative) but she’s just so glad that she finally gets to unload everything she’d been holding back since Oliver and F*licity had gotten together and the bitch was not going to worm her way out of it this time. Her rant ends with the sentence, “Don’t think for even a second that you’re in the right about any of this,” and she turns on her heel and heads back down to the bunker while F*licity stays frozen where she stands, still trying to absorb that she’d just been told off, and how no one was going to apologize for it.

In the upcoming days, it seems like F*licity is gone for good; she hasn’t come back down to the bunker or contacted anyone on the team, and the team slowly adjusts to not having her around (and encouraging Oliver in that he did the right thing by breaking it off). Curtis pretty much takes over her role on the team (he’s the third smartest person in the DC universe, dammit! Why in the fuck has he been reduced to Fefe’s sidekick?!) and makes time to go out on patrol with the others and besides not having anyone back in the bunker, the team dynamic really doesn’t change. But just as things escalate with Cayden James, F*licity comes back; she shows up unannounced at the bunker after the team comes back from the field, and insists that she’s ready to resume her role as Overwatch. The rest of the team is pretty iffy considering all the drama that she’d left in her wake, but they agree to take her back because they’d probably need all the help they could get against Cayden. So the show goes on, with some tension still between Oliver and F*licity, but Laurel quickly shuts her up with a look every time it looks like she’s about to start some shit.

Team Arrow obtains the list of people on Diaz’s payroll, and after some celebrating on taking down the bad guy, F*licity announces that she was officially leaving the team. There’s a lot of confusion, since she made such a big deal about wanting to come back, but she explains how she only wanted to finish what she started with Cayden James, and now that the mission is over, she’s ready to go back to a normal life, like what she had originally planned when joining the team back in the first season. This scene is actually a bittersweet one; no matter any of our opinions on how badly this character was fucked up, she was a part of the original team, and her departure from it should be treated like the end of an era. She leaves, but not before assuring them that she would help out if they ever need it.

Idk what the future holds for the plot, but as far as GA/BC being endgame (because they were, dammit) I actually wouldn’t want it to happen in the next season. Now with F*licity gone, Oliver got bumped up from the second to the biggest asshole in the Arrowverse, and like I said before, Laurel absolutely does not deserve his shit. So I don’t want there to be any romantic relationship between them at all, for at least one whole season. Hell, I want them to date other people during this season. At this point, I’d just really like to see their friendship to become more solid. I want them both to come to terms with what happened between them in the past, and decide to extend their partnership. I want Oliver (and the rest of the team) to see Laurel as his equal, not as his potential love interest, and definitely not his sidekick. I want Oliver to start resembling his comic book counterpart at this point. I want him to more frequently crack jokes and become less like a Batman wannabe. It felt like that’s the Oliver we were supposed to get when this show started, after he’d had a chance to deal with some of his trauma.

The eighth season is when Oliver and Laurel start showing romantic interest in each other again. They maybe start flirting while on the field, and eventually they go out on dates without the masks. And at first it’s weird, because of all the history they share, and a running gag where every time they sit down, they’re immediately summoned on a mission (original, ik). But they not only find the time to be together, but they actually realize that the life actually works for them, because there are no more secrets between them anymore. I want them to start calling each other Pretty Bird and Robin Hood and pretty much all the fluffy (and probably smutty) scenes that it would take for their relationship to better resemble their comic book counterparts. And their chemistry is just as good as it was in the first season, when you could just look at Oliver and see just how in love he was with Laurel, only better now that they both share the vigilante lifestyle.

This all eventually leads to them getting married; it doesn’t matter if it happens in the eighth season or the ninth, but the proposal is similar to the 2010 Green Arrow short, where he proposes while in full costume after completing a mission together.

Their wedding could be the premise for the annual crossover, but I wouldn’t mind if it was purely an episode of Arrow. If it’s not a crossover, then I would at least like a brief cameo of Barry and Iris, probably calling or video chatting them before the wedding, wishing them luck because they sadly can’t make it due to having to deal with this season’s villain. But Sara has to be there, for sure; with or without the rest of her team, she needs to be present as the maid of honor.

And their wedding gets interrupted, because of course it does (probs by Orm leading the Atlanteans or some shit) so they break up the wedding party to suit up and join the fight. This is actually the first time we see F*licity since she left. They need her tech skills yet again because Curtis was either incapacitated during the fight, or he’s off on a trip somewhere with the hot police officer from this past season. Anyway, they’re at whatever office/genius bar she’s working at, hovering while she does her thing, and she’s rambling on as per usual until she says something like, “I expected to hear from you like everyday, tbh. I’m honestly surprised everything didn’t fall apart the moment I left.” And everyone just kinda rolls their eyes like, damn, what a bitch. And then she makes it more awkward when it comes out that Oliver and Laurel’s wedding was supposed to take place earlier that day, and it’s like, “Oh, so I guess you are willing to get married, just not to me!” And Oliver has to physically hold Laurel back from cussing her out because, “We need her, okay?”

The episode/crossover ends with the team (and William and F*licity because reasons) back in whatever location they’re using as the Arrow Cave at this point, everyone in full costume, patching up their injuries, and it overall looking like the shawarma scene from the first Avengers movie. And despite having just won the day, everyone’s still sorry that they couldn’t finish the wedding. So, just like how Barry and Iris should’ve had their second wedding in STAR Labs, they decide to hold their wedding in the Arrow Cave. So, everyone still tired and dirty from their recent fight, but it still makes for an interesting ceremony. But it’s mostly because I want Oliver to lift Laurel’s mask the way he would’ve lifted her veil. And not only do they actually have vows, they’re actually pretty fucking beautiful. Like, Oliver’s are about how he’s loved her for most of his life, but how this is the first time where he feels like he’s finally worthy of her, and how he sees her as an equal, and as his partner in both halves of his life. Laurel’s reflect on how they went from friends to lovers, to strained acquaintances, back to friends, to actual partners, and eventually back to lovers. And no matter how many times their paths lead away from each other, they were forever intertwined. And then Diggle pronounces them husband and wife and everyone cheers.

F*licity hangs back from the rest of the crowd that’s hugging and kissing and congratulating, because she really can’t stop herself from thinking “That should have been me,” but she manages to keep it (mostly) classy and only hints towards the thought twice in her rambling congratulations. In the end, she hugs the both of them, and makes her exit right after Oliver and Laurel stroll out to catch their plane to their honeymoon.

[finley-shacklebolt]

[ok, so I’ve been away a little while and want to set in my mind and let everyone know where my characters are up to so I’m going to be doing a little past, present and future plot ideas on all of them. I was going to post on the OOC blog but kinda wanted to keep them on my characters blogs so I could find them later. I’ll try to keep it brief.]

PAST:

Minister of Magic’s son, golden boy working in the experiment charms department.

Aspirations to become MoM himself one day but was facing a slow progression in his job due to a bit of stagnation in his office with older employees not moving on.

Good relationship with his father but a little distant, Kingsley trying to keep Finley out of politics in the ministry because he knows how dirty it can get.

Finley ambitious in politics but also wants his father to do well so is careful not tread on toes.

Moved to Hogwarts for work, meets Julian and settles in.

Imperius curse is put on him, he becomes forgetful and confused about things but puts it down to stress.

Bromance with Julian... but then under the imperius curse Finley attacks Julian.

Then he attacks basically everyone else who wasn’t sent to the dungeons.

It’s discovered Finley did the attacks under the imperius curse and Kingsley swoops in to first send his son to prison and then realising what had happened save him

AND THAT’S WHAT YOU MISSED LAST TIME...

PRESENT:

Taking an extended leave from working at the ministry and recovering from the whole thing. Essentially just moping around feeling guilty.  

Trying to work out where his life will go next. He’s pretty much ruined any chance of becoming MoM and has destroyed his and his father’s reputation (at least in Finley’s eyes he has)

FUTURE:

So as a whole I can see Finley’s future going one of three ways, 1.  being that after becoming disillusioned with the ministry he realises how much they’re not doing and forms a neighbourhood watch. 2. being similar but this vigilante group actually ends up being pretty hardcore as Finley becomes more bitter he starts to take out his frustrations with the world and the ministry through this group, singling out those he doesn’t like as ‘suspicious’ and attack them.  3. He watches from the side lines trying to work out what he should do, always skulking in the background up to something.

Whatever happens Finley is an ambitious person and will always try to be on top even if he fails in that. 

PLOT IDEAS: Message me if any appeal to you. My aim is to always have a plot with every player but I usually fail, but I’ll be trying to message everyone over the next couple of weeks as Summer starts but it’ll take me a while to reach everyone so please don’t me scared to message me - if you want a plot that’s not below I’m 100% game. probably. Stay Alive - [ALL OF FINLEY’S VICTIMS] He is going to be feeling super duper guilty about the whole attacking them under the imperius curse thing and over the next couple of weeks will probably be writing them all letters - this might take a while so if you want your character pushed up the list for some other interaction to happen then drop me a message. I think that he can either grow close to some of his victims if they bond over their fear of whoever did this or they hate him and he does everything he can to make it up to them.

History Has Its Eyes On You - [CHARACTERS WHO DISLIKE THE MINSTRY] Finley has made a fool out of himself, or at least he feels that way. He has supported the ministry in every fibre of his being and for as long as he can remember. He’s realising now that he was attacked with so many ministry employees around him who didn’t notice - he’s starting to loose faith. He needs a character who will push him over the edge, who will fill him with a rebellion he’s never felt before. 

What Comes Next? - [CHARACTERS WHO EMPATHISE WITH FINLEY AND KNOW A LITTLE OF MINISTRY POLITICS/JOURNALISM OR EXPERIMENTAL CHARMS OR SOMETHING ELSE FINLEY COULD THINK IS HIS NEW CALLING/SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO MANIPULATE THE MINISTER’S SON.] (honestly most people could fill this I think) Fin has no idea where his life is going and really needs someone to talk it through with. They could either be someone genuine who wants to help OR they could be manipulating Finley into doing what they want. I’m thinking Finley is trying to work out how he feels about the ministry and everyone else and waiting for inspiration for his next big move and this character brings it to him. 

Take a Break - [VIVIENNE @lafemme-lestrange] Now that Finley is finally taking time off work he will be home much more and spending a lot of that time moping around probably leaning on Vivienne a little too much. Complaining about his life etc. etc. I’m not sure how Vivienne will react to this so I can see it either drawing them much closer or her getting annoyed at his constant whining. 

Satisfied - [A RIVAL OF FINLEY’S/SOMEONE WHO IS GLAD FINLEY IS RUINED] Finley is in disgrace and now someone else can step up and fill the golden child shoes. They’re glad that Fin doesn’t work for the ministry or is in the dog house or whatever because they dislike him. Some kind of rivalry can come from this. 

Guns and Ships - [CHARACTERS WHO ARE FEARFUL ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING AND ARE WILLING TO USE VIOLENCE (MAYBE IDK) TO SOLVE THEIR ISSUES] Fin gets talking to this person/people about what is going on. They confess their fears and decide to form a neighbourhood watch style thing where they try to make everyone feel safe. Finley will have free time since he’d not working so can print stickers or some shit, idk. They’ll wear high-vis vests and attack anyone they think looks weird. 

[jinhogwarts]

KPOP TAG

Tagged by @imleavingonatrain​ thank you!

1. ULTIMATE BIAS

The one and only Kim Heechul <3

2. ULTIMATE BIAS WRECKER?

Hmmm it’s difficult... but I guess Jinho is the only one who really comes close to the level of love I have for Heechul lol. Also Hyuna because she’s always ruining my life.

3. FAVOURITE KPOP SONG?

There are A LOT, but if I had to choose just one it would be sorry sorry

4. FIRST KPOP SONG?

Either balloons or mirotic, I can’t remember. But definitely a dbsk song!

5. FAVOURITE KPOP ALBUM/SINGLE?

Honestly I have no idea... there are so many amazing albums that I love with all my heart! sorry sorry and mamacita, mirotic, lucifer... and this is not including the more recent albums... (wjsn’s the secret & happy moment, seventeen’s teen,age, monsta x’s the clan trilogy, pentagon’s demo_01 and demo_02...)

6. FAVOURITE KPOP SHIP?

Hanchul :) Forever and ever ;_; Also Jinhongseok. and Mitoria/Miqian. 

7. HARD OR SOFT STAN?

I’m not sure what that means tbh hold on I’ll google it. .......................................................oh. OH. I guess it depends on the bias??? I mean. *cough* fuck it I’m gonna be honest, for Heechul I’m definitely a hard stan lmfao. for other idols it really depends. (for Jinho I’m somewhere in between tbh but I feel awkward saying it because he’s so cute and soft and cuddly... but he’s the same age as me so I’m allowed lol)

8. FAVOURITE KPOP COMPANY?

It used to be SM, hardcore actually, but recently I’m pretty annoyed with them =/ I still love their artists, and my #1 fandom is from SM, but I’m just super annoyed with the way they distributed comebacks and promotions these past two years... in 2017 they basically only promoted red velvet and nct (and exo a bit) and even though snsd an suju also had comebacks they didn’t give them an actual promotion (suju promote themselves, but I mean they only performed for one week before red velvet had another comeback and they stopped promoting)... idk I just wish they’d give all of their artists the same amount of promotions and comebacks =/ *cough*fx*cough* Recently I’ve been a lot more into Starship! Even without Sistar (who were the ones who got me interested in the company to begin with), I love most of Starship’s artists. My favorite girl group ever is WJSN, and Monsta X are also one of my secondary fandoms... And I love Boyfriend, K.Will, Sewoon, Mind U, Duetto (aka those guys who did the opera girl group medley)... So yeah, I guess SM and Starship.

9. BACKSTORY OF HOW I GOT INTO KPOP?

Okay there are two parts to it. First, in the end of 2008, a friend of mine introduced me to DBSK. I liked them, but I wasn’t THAT into them... I preferred their Japanese songs because I was more used to jpop at the time, and even though I watched shows with them and stuff (the mini dbsk episode on star king ;;;;;;;) it never became an actual obsession. Another friend tried to introduce me to F.T.Island when she heard I liked a kpop group, but I really wasn’t interested; I did like their songs but I wasn’t that hooked. Then in September 2009 (yes I remember the exact date) I went with the same friend who introduced me to dbsk on a drive to visit another friend who lived about an hour away, and on the way she put a playlist of a few songs. I only remember two songs that were on the playlist - Sorry Sorry and Don’t Don. I remember thinking they were really stupid songs, especially sorry sorry, and when she told me that they were 13 (plus two guys who are in a subgroup but they’re still super junior but they’re not actually in the group - she explained it about Henry’s violin part in Don’t Don) I was like wtf why would anyone listen to them. But then the next day Sorry Sorry has been stuck in my head, so I went to listen to it. Then downloaded it. Then downloaded all of their official discography (not including subgroups, so it was only 3 albums lol) and decided to challenge myself to learn all of their names. Then I fell in love. Then through them I got to know about snsd and shinee, and around that same time B2ST (aka highlight) debuted and that same friend told me about them... Then idk I probably looked for people to talk to about Super Junior and found someone on msn (no fucking idea how I had her) and she introduced me to a lot more groups... And that’s pretty much what happened. It’s been a long, long ride lol.

I’m gonna tag @xiuniverse61 @lefantasy @ham-buns @adoreguanhao @amazing-rin and anyone else who wants to do it :)

[shilohbrks-blog]

swe’re back for round two ya’ll let’s see how obnoxious i am this go around too, shall we? this time we’ve got the first character i was initially bringing here to swingers and that would be miss SHILOH BROOKS-whateverherhubbyslastnamewillbe i’m once again continuing to work on what i started at home here at work and developing her as i go ( didn’t that work out so well for KAIA........ ) so let’s pray i keep it simple this time, aye? again, i don’t want to fully get too much into her relationship bits so i don’t box anyone who might come in as her partner when it comes to their own ideas about things but i’m going to try and highlight the ideas i have about it the best i can....again, completely unlike my attempt with kaia lmao.

was that LUCY HALE i saw at the polihua resort? no, it was just TWENTY-SEVEN year old SHILOH BROOKS-? ( will hyphenate with husband's name when filled! ) SHE is MARRIED to JOE JONAS, DANIEL SHARMAN, DYLAN O’BRIEN, TRAI BYERS / UTP and has been for NINE YEARS. i heard she’s BISEXUAL and is pretty into DADDY KINK, ORAL SEX, HAIR PULLING.

✘ NOTE: for anyone out there in the world who might fill the role of shilioh’s husband, please be aware of the following things!:

shiloh is a sugar baby and has been since the age of sixteen.*

i believe that because of her lifestyle choice, they eventually decided tho label their marriage as a consensual non-monogamy relationship. he is allowed to have his outside of the marriage trysts if he desires as well but they both are honest with each other about everything and respect the other’s feelings as well as input when it comes to certain things or people. not every hook-up she has is with a sugar daddy or a sugar mama for that matter.

shiloh was eighteen on her wedding day and most of my choices for her husband are very close in age with her ( with the exception of i believe only TRAI ) so it’s my thinking that maybe they rushed into marriage for whatever reasoning - top ideas are just young and foolishly in love, believing they know everything about life and people telling them to wait are just idiots who don’t understand them or maybe a waiting until marriage sort of thing and they were young and hyped up on hormones and decided to marry ( also something in line with maybe NALEY from one tree hill shipping glory? ) or possibly maybe even a pregnancy caused them to get married young because it’s what felt right? whatever the reason ends up being, they’ve been married for going on ten years sometime this year or sometime next year. 

for the most part, shiloh believes any money or gifts she receives is ‘common property’ and transfers most of the cash to their shared account from hers but she does keep chunks for herself.

shiloh more than likely told him about sb’ing a few months into their dating life. it can be your choice how he initially reacted to the news and how he felt about it all but ultimately, the pair married and things continued on for nearly ten years now.

it’s not necessary for anyone to contact me prior to filling the role but do know that if you’d prefer to toss some ideas around, feel free to message me beforehand if that helps you construct your muse!

if choosing someone that is older than her by a considerable number, maybe he was one of her former sugar daddies? idk the ideas are endless i’m sure we can figure something out!

✘ shiloh comes from a big family where she was smack dab in the middle where you kind of end up fading in and out of thought sometime but that was okay with her. she loved her big loud family and never felt out of place, just overlooked and forgotten about from time to time but thata was natural. she wasn’t the favorite but she also wasn’t the extreme problem child. she got into her fair share of trouble but at times being one of the kids in the middle of the lineup can help you get away with most shit. she shared a room with her closest in age sister and the two of them would often cover for the other whenever they would sneak out.

✘ lost her virginity at sixteen to a friend of her college aged brother ( i’m thinking early twenties sort of thing so nothing too extreme but definitely ‘older’ ) and it was that encounter that sparked her interest in older men - despite eventually falling in love with her now husband - ( unless TRAI or someone else a number of years older of her fills the role of her husband then this will be switched up a bit of course! ) and for awhile, she was quite addicted to older men, giving guys her own age not an ounce of her attention.within a few months, shiloh immersed herself into the sugar bowl. at first, she **DID lie about her age** but then to better protect herself ( aka number one ) but also the men she met, she eventually engaged in almost completely non-sexual situations until the age of eighteen ( unless she fully trusted the man and if it wasn’t complete sexual intercourse. )

✘ she was always ( and still is for the most part ) a baby-faced short little thing that most if not everyone just saw as an unassuming, sweet girl but she soon learned how to take that youthful glow and with the help of her curvy frame, get her way with men.

✘ an artist, shiloh uses the money she’s earned over the years from sugar babying to be her cushion that allows her to pursue her passions and hobbies in life instead of wasting away years that could be spent creating in an office or a dead end job somewhere. she dabbles with paint and digital art but her favorite thing in the entire world is having a good ol’ sketchbook in hand and later lining, inking and coloring her favorite pieces over time but nothing truly beats a raw sketch in her opinion. 

✘ she’s great at keeping secrets ( from anyone but her husband ) because the ‘job’ requires her to be so she’s definitely a trust-worthy and loyal friend to have. she doesn’t really believe in cutting people down as she’s had her fair share of shit talked about her by anyone who finds out about her lifestyle and don’t agree with it or understand it.

✘ has gotten a good number of her friends hooked up with sugar daddies of their own. her parents don’t ‘know what she does but she’s also gotten two of her sisters into being sugar babies as well although one retired from the bowl once she was out of college. 

✘ ya’ll i’m falling asleep so hardcore i need a NAP but i think for the most part that’s all there really is to know about shiloh currently? there’s probably more i can think of but just can’t put it into proper words so definitely hit me up for plotting and i can fill in all the blanks.

✘ oh right! kinks and stuff, duh. aside from the three listed in her app, shiloh is into voyeurism ( has watched her husband engage in his side trysts from time to time either with or without the other participant being aware and has allowed her husband to spy in from time to time on her own as well. ), she’s definitely an exhibitionist, loves sex in public and loves to be dominated / rough sex. dirty talk is her oxygen, breast worship,  CONSENSUAL abduction as seduction and CONSENSUAL nonconsent , accidental stimulation, breath play, blindfolded sex, edging, choking, double penetration, face fucking, creampies, orgasm denial, sensation play, sensory deprivation.

pegging is something she has done for sugar daddy’s but anal sex is a hard no from her. 

doesn’t mind it if her husband slaps her around a bit or degrades her during sex. 

as for things she doesn’t like, if it’s not listed above it’s probably a no from her but then again, i may have just overlooked or missed anything ( plus a few things that seemed to peek her interest also felt a little too quote unquote weird to list so i left them off rip ) so always feel free to message asking if she’d be into a certain thing and we can see from there!

[wavemaker9]

also all the angsty ship questions for rustralia!! all or whichever ones you want. you're going down with me

i accept this sacrifice

sorry mobile people

1. do they have a lot of arguments? if so, over what?

they argue pretty rarely. if they do, it’s usually over basic shit. gender roles have been i think the thing they’ve really argued over the most? at least the pink crayon time but i feel there was another time. oh one time kyle and gil teased ivan about his written language and ivan got genuinely upset so kyle had to backpedal real fast and he actually apologized instead of doing his “learn how to take a joke” thing like he does with ludwig/gil. they make up pretty quickly if they do find something to fight about because they’re both so worried about seriously angering and pushing away the other

2. who apologizes first? in what way? is it hard for either of them to apologize?

whoops accidentally partially answered above. usually whoever started it probably. the one who upset the other is so worried they apologize as quickly as possible once they know the other is genuinely mad. usually they just say they’re sorry and how they didn’t mean to upset the other and give a lot of praise to the other as they can. prob not hard at all because it’s harder for the other to stay mad at them

3. which one has more insecurities? over what?

they both have so many. i guess i picture kyle having slightly more. that may be because kyle assumes the same, but basically like since he’s younger and doesn’t express his issues as much as ivan does so they build up. kyle still hasn’t learned how to deal with a lot of the shit ivan has with his additional experience. it’s also a vicious cycle with the expressing himself because he feels bad hiding the feelings because they build up but he also feels bad not hiding them because kirkland raising and all that. he also has worse immediate influences in his life. his season is objectively way shittier to him and like actively harmful to himand he lives with a creature who is constantly talking shit about him while ivan just has a couple normal pets. idk there are a lotta things i guess. over what though? over like everything, lol

4. who gets more riled up? do they show their anger? 

not really by each other i think but kyle gets riled up more probably. ivan gets upset by more things and his anger is probably worse in that he’ll allow himself to act farther on it if he lets himself at all, but when arguments start with him, at least that i’ve seen, he does that smiley false (and sometimes genuine) joy thing a lot which gets the person he’s upset with angry which amuses ivan so it probably doesn’t build as much. he’s also backed off in teh past if he saw himself getting really mad like with the language thing. you push kyle and he gets aggressive argue-y/sarcastic and that makes things worse and that makes him angrier usually and he doesn’t recognize the need to back off. the angrier he gets, the harder he fights. one thing he learned from summer was accidentally making himself angry instead of his target. 

5. how do they hide their pain when they’re upset? do they try to hide their pain?

as mentioned above, kyle tries to hide the pain a lot more. mainly humor and liquor. ivan might hide it in the immediate panic denial way sometimes but he’ll cry way more easily about shit if given the chance. alcohol works for him too. can i say the big answer is alcohol?

6. who tries to make up first? does it work?

again, whoever fucked up first, they usually make the first move to try and patch up whatever issues they’re dealing with

7. would they hate-fuck if they were mad at one another? if they had a falling out?

i don’t think it’d be a full hate-fuck. mostly i picture that cliche angry yelling to confession/apology to making out shit. if they were /really/ mad about something serious, i don’t think they’d be in the mood. probably both of them are chill with hate-fucking. kyle at least isn’t. about that shit, like super into it, but he’s fine with it in concept. his emotions and relationships always cross over spectacularly so he could easily roll with it in certain relays, but he doesn’t really view their relationship like that. his relay with ivan is actually one of the more nice and caring ones he’s had and he’s kind of settled into that so like them getting to the angry stage of actual hate-fucking just instills panic and a need to fix it since love is their primary emotion tied to their relay and that anger is so different that, like i said, it’s more just worry about breaking up than sex atm. kyle frustratingly loves a lot of people but ivan is not one of them, he straight loves ivan and that’s it, no anger to be found. if they did already have a falling out… see it’d still be like anger to passion i think. hate-fuck’s, at least the way i’m picturing it, are way too aggressive for them. at least this version of them. first rp thing i wrote with kyle had him end up hate fucking ivan, that was def a thing. thatwhole. fucking rp was a Thing though not thanks to the ivan that’s more a side thing, but this kyle and ivan are too gooey in how much they love each other, i don’t see them having the history they standardly have and then hitting actually /hating/ each other but still being dtf. idk idk. 

8. do they hold grudges? is it hard for them to let go/forgive each other?

yeah. kyle’s like the most obvious grudge holder like ever? kid wears his feelings on his sleeves and i’ve already mentioned his grudge with arthur adn then ludwig in hetalr. against each other, though, nah. again, they will forgive each other at the drop of a hat for shit they really shouldn’t. 

9. is there something big that could potentially tear them apart if it was revealed

i think the only thing they’ve ever disagreed on to the point where it threatened their relay was an rp idea where basically ivan was willing to sacrifice someone else to save kyle and kyle was 100% against that. it didn’t really threaten their relay at the time but it’d be the closest thing that would. kyle is so self-sacrificial and ivan is so hardcore focused on protecting those he cares about and that can cause a clash when they contradict. if ivan sacrifices someone else who kyle would rather live instead of him, kyle. kyle understands, but he’s still furious because it a, dismisses kyle’s expressed wants for wanting to save the other person, and b, betrays how bad ivan’s morals can get for what he wants in a way that kyle can’t easily forgive without at least some time passing. that was also mentioned in the hp au with kyle being furious with mel for saving him during the attack on that famous quidditch game. kyle never wants to live at the expense of someone else and even if it’s another person’s choice, he’ll blame himself, but he’ll be mad immediately at that other person for forcing that onto him. especially with someone who knows him as well as ivan tends to; he expects ivan to know he’d never want that and respect that, ivan’s always so good otherwise about putting kyle’s wants first and now when that actually matters ot kyle he doesn’t. he’ll move past it and understand it to a point given enough time, but he may never forgive them. 

another thing would be ivan genuinely trying to contain kyle to keep him from leaving. they’ve brought it up and kyle laughs about it because he never really considers ivan being serious about it. both because he wouldn’t consider anyone would do that (Again the overly self sacrificing sde) and also like anyone would genuinely be that upset and resistant against losing him (+ he figures there’s no reason in the world he’d ever leave ivan by choice). ivan actually taking steps to control kyle and force him to stay either against his will or at least against his expressed plans (one idea was them having to split for political reasons despite neither of them wanting to) would be jarring because again, ivan puts kyle’s priorities first so commonly he doesn’t expect ivan to suddenly not do that in a way ivan should know is a /huge/ issue for kyle.

I read “if it was revealed” and idk if the above covers that. i guess just revealing that ivan is willing to cross lines kyle doesn’t fully realize he will?? idk. i have no idea if kyle could do anything to make ivan wanna break up with him. 

10. if something already happened to tear them apart, what would make them come back together? is it even possible?

literally every ‘could they ever get back together’ question is ‘probably if not definitely yes’. even the above could have ways of kyle managing to at least accept it and get back together with ivan. mainly him being lonely. both of tehm are so willing to put up with a lot of shit to be wiht the other because they’re so lonely and finally found someone they click with so well that they don’t feel lonely with anymore. 

11. what’s their favorite pass time when they’re upset?

kyle does the standards. working out, playing video games, drinking. less standard for everyone if he’s really upset is the whole. like. self-damaging shit. both unintentionally and intentionally dangerous and directly lethal shit, it’s a scale. ivan probably drinking too. i don’t remember if this was a joke or a genuine thing but i remember the idea came up of a dart board with people’s faces on it who he’s mad at and i honestly still love the idea. i remember ivan rants about things he’s mad or sad about in his journal, there was the pics of gil with his eyes crossed out. just hanging out together tends to brighten their moods together, but drinking together probably ups things or just cutesy romance/sex shit. idk probably other stuff idk

12. who do they confide in when shit hits the fan (besides each other)?

doug for kyle which is all bad. occasionally may discuss it with nz or human friends but less so, especially depending on the situation like can’t blab about work problems in detail to human friends. mostly just tries to bottle that shit up. i imagine ivan talks to family about shit but there’s def his journal that he again will happily express all his problems to with no filter even if sharing the information. oh also doesn’t he have a therapist he talks to too?

13. is it hard for them to talk about their feelings openly with each other? if so, is there any way that can be resolved, even in the slightest?

it’s always hard for kyle to talk about his feelings while ivan’s super chill with it. kyle’s slowly learning how to be more comfortable showing his more ‘negative’ emotions like sadness to ivan, but he’s still ~~ about it. they’re that ‘you wanna talk about your feelings?’ ‘no’ ‘i do’ ‘i know ___’ ‘i’m sad’ ‘i know ____’ vine. 

14. who grieves more when the other is away?

both are very bad at being alone. ivan probably low-key grieves teh whole time and kyle just high-key grieves during his mood dips when he can’t otherwise distract himself

15. who misses the other more, or really thinks about them more?

both miss each other so much again. they’re always trying to communicate with each other because they’re again so bad at beign alone. they’re tied, always missing the other always

16. do either of them have a special item (an article of clothing, a necklace, a book) that they use when they miss the other? if so, what is it? what do they do with it (read, wear, look at, smell)?

they each have gifts and clothes from the others they like. they’ll steal clothes they very clearly can’t wear just to have that smell and touch that’s familiar. kyle made a book once with like pictures and an audio thing to talk about how great ivan is and also gave him a bunch of sketches he did of ivan as a ‘you make my life so much better and i just want you to know how much i appreciate it’ thing. ivan gave him a translated journal of all his thoughts about kyle and how great he was. i’m 95% sure kyle’s admitted in hetalr canon to looking at that journal a lot when he hits a mood dip. it’s so important to him. also kyle at least saves a lot of messages from ivan to read back through. oh, i rmeember ivan does too cause he was able to back up a lot of messages when aus!kyle deleted them all.

17. who cries more? who gets more emotional in general?

ivan. ivan cries more. ivan gets more emotional in general, too, but kyle is a close second. they’re both very emotional but ivan expresses it and lets himself feel it way more. kyle lets himself flip between 3 emotions that he feels at max volume and the other ones he buries in his backyard. 

18. do either of them have the other’s stuff lying around their house?

see 16 pal

19. how about teasing? do they tease each other while in a fight (whether it be with themselves or just general teasing)?

their chiller fights they do. like the pink crayon fight eventually turned into kyle sending ivan ‘duuuun duuunnn’ messages like it was jaws. ivan especially probably, he’s all about that ‘i’m going to act really dismissive and unbothered to bother your anger because you get angrier then and god is it funny’ so if they were like playfully fighting ivan’d definitely tease kyle a lot especially since kyle does let that shit set him off more and he’s so funny when he’s non-seriously mad

20. do either of them have any vices?

both of them do, have you seen them?? they have like. all of them. they have all the vices.

21. what’s the thing they miss most about each other?

just general company. again, they’re both lonely and desperate for companionship and they just miss having the other’s company and the good warm feeling of being around the other. it’s prolly why they’re so touchy feely when htey are together. hate being apart, even just by feet or inches. 

22. what’s their go-to breakup/angst song?

any that really highlight how devastated the person is following the break up, especially if drinking is involved in the lyrics. OH OH OH! idk if it’s specifically for rustralia but the go-to song for kyle’s early views on relays is Love Is Hell. Again (friendly reminder that Again was for a relay where it was pretty much entirely the other person’s fault but kyle still managed to blame himself because of course he did) or Perfect I’ve tied to other breakups of kyle’s, does that count? Trying Not To Love You isn’t so much angst as a lot of the others since the end is brighter but i picture it with rustralia a lot. Get Stoned is another non-rustralia but other-kyle-relay song but that starting line “Just hear me out: If it’s not perfect I’ll perfect it to my heart explodes” is so good for kyle in any relay. fuck now i’m just connecting through recommended songs for the vids from get stoned and there are a few tha’s probably good for kyle. oh i bet that shitty bruno marz song about catching a grenade or whatever. fuck there’s probably lots but i do not feel like spending 40 minutes slowly scrolling through all my songs on my phone. honestly these double as both songs about shitty relays kyle has/has had/thinks he’ll have as well as songs kyle’d likely listen to. never forget he’d mainly a modern/pop rock kinda guy at this point in his life and he likes most of marz’ shit including that just. terrible song. 

i went to check kyle’s feelings blog to see if i reblogged any songs to it and i forgot he reblogged the wtnv quote ‘he grinned and everything about him was perfect and i fell in love instantly’ what a sappy idiot. 

23. who’s more jealous?

ivan, but mainly because he’ll act on it. ivan will get jealous and get angry. kyle will get jealous and get sad. kyle loves ivan, but isn’t past the ‘he can do better than me’ mindset so if he thought ivan was interested in someone else. like that. fucking sucks and he hates it and he’s devastated but it’s whatever makes ivan happy. he’s always worried about that and will get relatively prickly about the idea of someone else making a move on ivan, but if was clear ivan was into it, he’d back down, he values ivan’s happiness too much. ivan, on the other hand, loves kyle and also isn’t really past the ‘he can do better than me’ mindset but instead of just accepting it, he gets anxious or on edge or prickly or just generally overly protective just as bad but doesn’t let it go. kyle can’t be happy with someone else if ivan doesn’t let him find out he’d be happier with someone else

24. who is the first to forgive?

i’ve answered this like three times now my dude cmon, it depends on the person apologizing like almost every time because it’ll be the other person. if tehy’re both partially to blame…. kyle’s self-worth is low and he justifies behavior for people he likes so probably him? yeah, yeah, that sounds about right. not that ivan is far behind though, again, they both forgive so easily.

25. what’s the one deal breaker for either of them (lack of communication, fear of commitment, etc)?

i honestly don’t know what ivan’s deal break would be, but i already mentioned kyle’s tends to be cases where his own wants/needs/expectations are blatantly dismissed in ways that cross lines for him on moral grounds. basically even outside of this relay, if kyle gets to a point (and from past experience lemme tell you it often takes either a big event or a long time of little ones) where he realizes that he’s not happy because this other person doesn’t value him and his wants as much as he does them and he actually reaches a point where he can acknowledge being alone would be better than this, he’ll finally move on. man does it take him a while though and some really nasty shit, he’s put up with so fucking much in the past. look at him still dealing with doug. summer he’s had that once or twice but always goes back to her. the one rp he reached that point after just. the worst shit. this kid will put up with so much just to not be alone. 

26. who would take longer to let go? do they ever really “let go”?

ivan. ivan probably never lets go, the stubborn guy. again, kyle’s accepting of things. there was one rp with khep about what’d happen if kyle and gil had a relay and gil died and kyle was dating someone else by the time gil came back and remembered who he was and that he’d been involved with kyle and everything. kyle refused to break it off with the person he was dating even if he cared about gil more, but he also expected gil to start dating other people too and when gil countered he wasn’t going to do that because he still liked kyle and wasn’t ready to move on and while he could accept kyle not taking him back he wasn’t going to start dating someone just because kyle wanted him to, it fucking like blew kyle’s mind. he literally had an epiphany at realizing the concept of doing something you want because the alternative, while expected and the ‘more right’ option at a glance, won’t make anyone happier than the other option. kyle’s all about self-sacrifice where it’s literally an expectation for himself even when it’d be more practical for him not to. if he felt letting go of ivan was needed. it’d take forever and emotionally kill him in the meantime but he could at least pretend long enough where he could mostly buy the act. ivan would not pretend. if he didn’t want to let kyle go, he wouldn’t.  

27. which is more afraid of confrontation?

both (with each other. with others, both are fine with confrontations under certain circumstances. kyle likes to throw himself into fights and ivan likes to watch fights, it probably accidentally encourages kyle being a little shit)

28. who’s the first to distance themselves (if either)?

kyle, kyle always. kyle distances himself to avoid hurting himself as his first reaction to anything, it’s what happened when they first started semi-dating. kyle put off dating ivan seriously for at least 2 months and kind backed off just a bit when he realzed ivan was romantically interested in him instead of just platonically/sexually. same with after they got engaged and kyle got scared about that & then the 2p event, kyle backed off hard after that. really in comparison between austin and kyle, kyle tends to criticize austin when given the chance for being so emotionally distant, but you really can see the start of what austin will do in the 1p2p au with how kyle handles some relay shit now. 

29. who’s more patient? is it hard to break that patience?

both are pretty patient with each other but i think ivan is a little more with kyle? it doesn’t really fully break his patience but he makes a stronger point of calling kyle out when kyle talks shit about himself. 

30. who’s the first to blame themselves?

*clint mcelroy voice* HA! no but seriously it’s kyle hands fucking down my dude. kyle is always prepared and eager to take the blame 100%. even if it wasn’t his idea or fault or even if he wasn’t involved at all, if taking the blame will help in his eyes in any way shape or form, he’ll do it in a heart beat, martyr in the worst way

31. who’s more likely to do something out of spite?

i wanna say both? they’re both stubborn assholes when they wanna be and if they were really upset about something, i could see them doing something to get back at the other for that reason. 

32. who would be the first to say they hate the other? would they mean it?

kyle but probably not. it’d hurt and he’d probably cave and admit he didn’t mean it and take it back, but he’d probably say it as an attempt to get ivan to distance himself from kyle for whatever reason kyle has to cut ties. or i guess i don’t know if he’d say those words but a part of him might come close trying to draw them out of ivan. it’s easier to break things off if the other person hates you so you can say you’re doing the right thing for everyone. alternatively, him genuinely upset and blurting out that he hates ivan before stopping and backtracking no no i don’t. i could never hate you but i’m not fucking happy with you right now, fuck. 

this is of course ignoring those playful cases where one of them is being super gooey in a teasing way or like being a smart ass or something like that. kyle at least will playfully say shit then, but he does while like, leaning into him or giving him a cheek kiss or some sign to show ‘i’m not serious, i love you, you bastard.’ both know how unsure the other is so if they ever do tease about that, they’re like really really focused on making sure the other knows they’re not serious. 

33. who worries more?

ivan. kyle ‘no worries’ brown. jk, kyle worries too. they’re like tied but ivan a little more. both are so worried about losing the other but again, kyle’s more pessimistic and accepting in the end. if something happens that makes ivan leave him, that’s what’s best for ivan. it is the worst thing ever and will crush his heart, but ivan comes first. other over self and all that. + ivan doesn’t look in any political danger of losing his country, so he’s relatively sure ivan’s okay in that way as well. it’s unlikely kyle would lose his country to put him in danger as well, but ivan can lose kyle in other ways. and like even if he can’t lose kyle via death atm, he still worries about that. he was very on edge when captain attacked kyle even when kyle insisted he’d have been fine. of course, if it were reversed, kyle’d have worried too, but i don’t think quite as bad as ivan? not that he wouldn’t have been worried a fuck ton it’s just like. kyle is a 9.9 and ivan is a 10, you know what i mean? ivan’s concern is some high key shit. 

34. what scent reminds them of the other?

kyle’s scents are probably more earthy, warm earth and the salt of the sea and burnt wood. ivan’s are more cool and crisp, the air after a cold snow and the fresh smell of evergreens in a forest. oh also of course sunflowers yeah? yeah. vodka/beer is tied to them too probably. probably others too but that’s just off the top of the head. 

35. do they have any regrets (regarding the other, or just in general)?

besides standard solo and then nation regrets because boy are there a lot, kyle regrets taking so long to listen to ivan and start dating him seriously and trust him about all this. i have no idea what regrets ivan has about kyle. maybe the same? it’s okay that you needed your time and i’m fine with it but i kinda wish you’d listened to me earlier too. also sometimes they tend to regret gifts if like one of them gets a big thing for the other and the other gets smaller shit. both have had one or two times each where htey were like ‘i fucked up and should have done more’ i think. kyle has at least. 

36. who’s quicker to walk away if a situation gets heated?

ivan probably. i’ve seen him walk away from shit he was mad about like the language thing with gil and kyle. kyle makes heated shit build instead of trying to resolve it. 

37. who is more prone to anger?

both, but it’s different types. kyle is more of the expressive instigatory childish anger while ivan is more the smiley you can’t tell but i’m plotting how to end your life or at least burn a bunch of pictures of you later today in my backyard kind of anger. kyle’s a low key often kind of anger while ivan is more high key but he doesn’t try to keep up the angering shit like kyle does. 

38. who cries more in an argument? do either of them cry?

ivan. kyle tries very hard not to but will sometimes cry. ivan is way more open about hte tears. it doesn’t help that usually arguments set one/both of them in a panic if tehy get bad enough of losing the other as previously mentioned

39. does it take a lot for it to get to the point of yelling?

yeah def but they can deffo do it

40. who sleeps on the couch? can either of them sleep without the other?

they usually don’t stay mad at each other that long. i feel if they were, kyle’d just head out for the night, crash at a friend’s house. again, always ready to distance himself if need be. if he’s still mad enough that they need enough space to not be in teh same room, he’s mad enough that he figures it’ll just be better to just be in separate buildings for the night. kyle’s an extremes guy, all or nothing really. of course before he leaves still tells ivan he’ll be back in the morning, doesn’t want that worry even when mad. if ivan’s mad, kyle’d probably sleep on the couch/in the guest room then I guess unless it was a big enough thing where it’d be easier to stay with a friend until things cooled down. 

41. who’s more likely to protect the other?

ivan but both of them but ivan is more likely to do /anything/ necessary to do so. 

42. if one of them gets injured, who worries more?

again, both but ivan prolly but only slightly. if it’s a big thing, again it’s 9.9 vs 10. kyle worries so much all the time but ivan is just so anxious and !!! about some shit. admittedly with smaller shit, kyle gets injured a lot so like all his friends and fmaily kind of get used to it but ivan still puts a lot of effort into making sure he’s okay. if ivan got a smaller injury, kyle’d try to figure out what he needs but. well. again, with how often kyle deals with injuries on himself, little ones that can heal easily, even on others are chill. he asks if ivan needs pain killer, bandages, something to clean the wound. gets him what he needs but he’s a bit more calm about that. he hates seeing ivan hurt but he knows he’s going to be okay in a little bit and so he tries not ot let it get to him. it’s one of the few things kyle remembers to think logically about since it’s for injuries small enoguh where he doesn’t fly into a panic. one contradiction to this is like mild injuries that are caused by the other. ivan wants to make sure kyle’s okay of course, but he enjoys kyle being in pain to a point so he enjoys it when kyle lets him do things like cut him during sex. kyle knows ivan likes it when kyle hurts him in ways like that during sex, but he feels so guilty knowing he’s the reason ivan’s in pain like this. again, back to the hate-fucking thing, kyle could be about that in the right situations, but he’s not standardly into pain during sex so it takes a lot of reminding himself that this is making ivan happy, that he’s hurting ivan but ivan litearally asked him to and could & would stop him if ivan didn’t want this any longer. it still makes him a little uneasy. he’s happy to do it for ivan but he is definitely not about it.

43. who would be more afraid of the other’s death/harm?

both of them are so afraid of it all the time always. they both know it’s unlikely for the other but it’s still a possibility in very rare ways and the very thought of losing the other like that is so bad. 

44. who ends up yelling first? are they always yelling when arguing, or do neither of them yell at all?

kyle does first, an instinct from some question that pushed a little too hard. if he full on yelled, he’d apologize unless it was a really bad argument, but just like quiet yell probably gets ivan to raise his voice as well

45. who would be more likely to save who?

both of them???? i remember the post was like ‘this doesn’t have to be a romantic ships so i understand some of these questions but they feel so weird for ships like this where they both love and care about each other equally and think a lot a like. 

46. who stays up at night brooding?

kyle but he’s just as likely to brood as to check his phone for the memes

47. who has more dreams/nightmares about the other?

both????

48. who comforts who after a bad dream/event?

both????

49. do they think about each other a lot? does it affect their performance/schoolwork?

yes, and prolly. kyle def, but no more so than anything else. let’s not forget his government started taking his phone from him because he wouldn’t focus in meetings. this fucking child. this fucking adhd-as-hell child. also the times in rp where they each called the other for phone sex at work.

50. if one of them were to come back after a long time, who would come to who? would it go well? would the other person take them back?

ivan’d probably come back immediately. kyle’d be tempted to come back a lot laer on, but he can never go through with it completely. he’ll be on ivan’s doorstep, but can’t knock or ring the bell because he thinks ivan won’t take him back which is bullshit because of course ivan would kyle, cmon, it’s ivan. 

[kinetic-elaboration]

January 30: Thoughts on 1x06: My Sister’s Keeper

Instead of eating dinner at a normal time like a normal person, or even watching TV in a normal way like a normal person, I took over an hour to watch a 40 minute episode and write these incoherent notes on it.

Okay, so the flashback saying seventeen years ago implies Octavia is seventeen, and here I was, pretty darn sure she was supposed to be sixteen as of the pilot. Not super sure how I got that idea but regardless, I actually do like it better, it makes somewhat more sense to me.

Aurora’s a pretty terrible person and tbh I wish the show had just gone there 1000%, more along the lines of the books. Like this show is so weak sometimes. Not that making her son an accomplice to a crime and telling him that making sure neither his sister nor mother is brutally murdered by the state is his sole responsibility isn’t bad enough but like...they could have gone harder on just how screwed up this situation is.

I guess since the massacre in S3 no one gives a fuck about Bellamy throwing away the radio but I remember when it used to be the Hugest Deal Ever that he did that (a laugh btw), and isn’t it funny how the very next episode starts out Hardcore Humanizing him by showing him as a small child just trying to take care of his sibling??

“It’s Octavia. She’s probably chasing butterflies.” Girl does that one time and it’s like her only character trait. I feel like ‘being a petulant brat’ should overshadow it but okay. (I don’t even dislike Octavia, I just think ‘butterfly chaser’ is more of an anomaly than a primary character trait.)

Lincoln’s mancave: OMG he has paper bound books and something that looks like a toy car?!? I’ve never noticed this before.

Generally though everything about Lincoln’s introduction (kidnapping Octavia, chaining her up, and most importantly refusing to speak to her in her language even though he’s fucking fluent in it) tells me that the writers cared 100% about drama and suspense and 0% about believability or long-term character consistency, which is part of why I have a hard time giving them the benefit of the doubt ever. Sorry.

First appearance of Monroe. Like 20 years after the pilot, sorry again but I still don’t believe she was cast that early and didn’t show up in a single frame for 5 whole episodes.

Never forget that Jasper was known for, what, weeks maybe, as the kid who can’t leave camp. Also I miss Jasper + Octavia friendship stuff tbh. Totally underrated.

Finn was considered a good tracker, that was like his one skill. Literally.

Raven’s so beautiful.

I know I always say I don’t hate Finn and then I badmouth Finn but like it’s so hard to see the connection between Finn and Raven and I’m trying, sincerely, but...I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fandom. Maybe it’s the annoying way he tells Clarke he’s “not sure” they can stop having an affair when, like, she literally just told him, she’s not going to have an affair and that’s totally the sort of thing one can choose to do or not do. Hard to tell.

Jasper is bi headcanon continuously constantly confirmed. “Finn? We’re not gonna find her with you?”

Bellamy is looking particularly beautiful in this episode. If no one has giffed his face when he finds the skeleton graveyard, someone should do that.

Speaking of: skeleton graveyard! That’s the kind of creepy shit I like. No idea what tf it is or why it’s there but it’s cool as heck.

So Bellamy braves the skeleton yard because O’s his sister, obviously, and Jasper because he likes her, and Finn because IDK gotta be a hero or something, but you know who else goes with them when all the little boys get scared and leave? Monroe. Boom. Another wasted character.

Aurora: “Fear is a demon. Close your eyes and tell yourself you’re not afraid. That is how you slay the demon.” Bellamy is such a wide-eyed innocent. He’s just trying so hard.

I stand by my theory that class disparity on the Ark has little to do with material wealth but I will admit the Blakes have a much shittier housing unit than the Griffins, the Chancellor, or anyone in Alpha based on the S3 quarters.

I still ship Clarke/Raven something fierce; I miss scenes like this one where they...you know...interact. I love that Raven loves flowers and thinks Abby’s a badass and I also love that they either walked all night or stopped to rest and ended up (literally) sleeping together.

The Grounders are obviously lame as a whole but even I am impressed by their sneak attacks. RIP other John.

Okay also by the way: the Grounders only attacked when the kids crossed the skeleton line, or as this helpful exposition points out, when they “crossed the boundary.” In other words, as of now, the total Grounder interaction with the Sky Kids has been: spearing Jasper when he crossed a boundary, (possibly rogue) spying, having their spy go (extra?) rogue and kidnap someone, and killing a couple more kids when they crossed another boundary (this one admittedly more clearly marked). So far, almost halfway through season 1, the Grounders really do not seem to give a fuck about the Delinquents. I really don’t think this ever had anything to do with land. I think if the kids were on Tri Kru land this entire time they would have been wiped out in Episode 2.

Anya will of course later cite the destruction of the Grounder village by the flares. Retaliation seems to come pretty late for that lol (I’ll have to watch, actually--DO they ever retaliate for that?), but at least it’s a definite, though accidental, form of aggression.

Okay, wow, it is canon that Bellamy and Octavia are from the section that would have been quietly killed in the original culling plan; it says Section 17 on their door.

Octavia’s first walk through the Ark is really beautiful though. Lovely sequence.

I love how they have their dance...in a hallway? Like undergrad parties in the atrium in Main.

How completely overwhelming and magical to be Octavia in that moment though, like she‘s literally only met 2 people her entire life and now she’s around all of these other kids, just dancing and having fun.

(Also it still bugs me what tf is behind Jasper’s goggles in this scene why I do obsess over random shit? And yet. Also also he’s 14 in that flashback what a trip.)

Lincoln’s neck thing with the skull hands on it is one of my favorite pieces of Grounder wardrobe.

I wonder if Lincoln doesn’t speak because in his head he’s like ‘oh shit, I’m in so much trouble, what the fuck am I doing, this is such a bad idea.’

I feel like they should have started figuring out that Jasper has some Pretty Big Issues sometime around here: can’t leave camp, starts screaming for Grounders to kill them, etc. Funny how no one is suspicious about this.

I find it semi-weird that the response to a solar flare is to start taking names, like--this makes me think there was no solar flare, this is just a trick of the totalitarian state. I mean “you know the drill, masks off, id chips out” sounds like this happens a lot--random person inspections just like random housing inspections. Also what is an “ID chip”? I feel like this is something you carry but you know what would have been cooler? Something in your skin. But this is a Fake Sci Fi show so they’re not going to go that route.

Was Bellamy going to “create a distraction” for O using police brutality?

Major props to make up making Marie Avgeropolous, a woman pushing 30 at the time this was filmed, look like she’s actually 15/16 years old.

Bellamy’s realization that O doesn’t know how to get home breaks my heart EVERY DAMN TIME.

This is definitely the moment when Shumway picked Bellamy to be his Chancellor assassin.

It’s not funny, but Finn, Bell, Jasper, and Monroe squeezed under a tent together just looks like the most awkward sleepover ever. Which is to say it is pretty funny.

No commentary, only respect, for the Clarke + Raven discuss Finn scene, but: “Do you love him?” / “I hardly know him” is gold because, yeah, she does hardly know him, and even though Finn would 10000% think otherwise, level headed people like Clarke know what’s what. (Aside: I actually think she was lying to him when she killed him--or that she meant ‘love’ in the general sense, the same way she loves, say Monty or Octavia or any delinquent. But that’s just me.)

I feel a little cheated over a proper Jasper/Octavia hug tbh.

LOL at Jasper wanting to take the knife out of Finn. “Mom, Dad said I couldn’t take the knife out...”

Next time on The 100: Raven and Clarke work together to save the life of a boy who two-timed them both. Then they fall in love.

Bellamy and Clarke and leadership, since I’m semi-trying to develop a theory here: nothing really about leadership in this ep. Clarke seems initially to be heading up the search party with Bell, but then she goes with Raven and has basically the C-Plot. From the point of view of the delinquents, in this ep, Bellamy is definitely the leader (again) and Clarke is the doctor.