#idk if I like this one but whatever putting it out into the world
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→ “favorite pastime.” || ahn yujin x jang wonyoung fic.



— despite being in the same group, it was hard for yujin and wonyoung to find time to be normal girlfriends in the middle of a world tour, so when they are finally granted a break, they decide to make the most of it...
word count: 4.7k.
dynamic: dom!vers!ahn yujin x sub!vers!jang wonyoung.
warnings: established relationship, fingering, clit play, scissoring, body worship, ya'll why is there like no other tags here hello, this fic is EMPTYYYY, this actually started out with more tags AND IT WAS GONNA BE FREAKYYYY, but it just got soft LMAO.
requested?: nope.
a/n: a little treat before the long trek that is the witch liz fic💕 i made this doc around the time they were still on the swih tour so that's why the setting is the way it is 😭 and i've been kind of writing it in the background while i worked on other, bigger stuff so no, i didn't take this long to create something so short! 😤 personally, this is like my one of the favorite things i've written 🥺 idk why i cooked so hard for annyeongz out of all things but ykw i'll take it! enough yapping, I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS 💖💖
1:37 am.
jang wonyoung had no business being up this late when she, as well as her group members, finally had the luxury to sleep to her heart’s content and not worry about being late to rehearsals and soundchecks. today’s show was the last one until a long while, which means the members of ive have the time to explore the current city they’re visiting or relax in their lavish hotel rooms for the next few days before they fly back to south korea and do some real relaxing there. wonyoung already had her next day planned out, as she always does, and thus had nothing much to think about in her mind.
except the fact that she was up at an ungodly hour brushing through her beautiful locks with her favored hairbrush in front of a vanity mirror. her doe eyes glancing at the clock each minute, getting increasingly impatient and disappointed whenever her gaze turns to the empty and cold queen-sized bed behind her. wonyoung had already done all of her post-concert routines and was more than ready to hit the sheets and sleep until nine in the morning, maybe even ten! but what was the point of resting if she didn’t rest well?
to put it simply, jang wonyoung needs only one important thing to complete her night, and that came in the form of ahn yujin, who was currently not in their shared hotel room.
pouting, wonyoung took a glance at her phone. no recent calls or texts from her dear girlfriend. before leaving the room in a hurry, yujin informed wonyoung that the managers needed to have a talk with her ‘for a bit’, but exactly three hours had passed since! it worried wonyoung, to be frank. why weren’t the other members talked to? was yujin in trouble? were they all in trouble and it was so serious that the managers needed to talk to only the leader about it? wonyoung knew in the back of her head that it was probably just company gibberish that even yujin doesn’t have all the energy to actually talk about, but wonyoung being wonyoung—being yujin’s girlfriend—she still can’t help but be concerned!
now don’t get her wrong! most of the time, wonyoung can sleep without cuddling with or even when she’s not with yujin! it’s just… she thought tonight was going to be special for the two of them. maybe they were going to spend the entire night talking about the show, how fun it was, how great they all did, and how they can’t wait for the next ones. maybe they were going to bundle up in the blankets and cuddle each other to keep warm while watching movies until they fell asleep. maybe they were going to share small and funny anecdotes about their own personal adventures in every city they’ve been in! whatever it may have been, wonyoung would’ve loved it.
she missed yujin, so much. yes, they’re together for literally every second they’re alive because duh, they’re in the same group, but wonyoung misses her in a… girlfriend kind of way. she misses their talks, their jokes, their staring competitions, their hands holding, their lips locking—she misses everything about her relationship. truthfully, wonyoung might just be a little bit dramatic because it’s not like yujin went to war or something but can anyone really blame a girl in love!?
wonyoung sighs, putting down her hairbrush and fixing her bangs with her hands. she felt (and is!!) so pretty but yujin wasn’t even around to ogle at her! she stands up, grabs her phone and pulls up yujin’s contact from her long list. she was about to press the ‘call’ button until the hotel door clicked and swung open, and entered a very smiley ahn yujin in her charming oversized flannel shirt, thick-framed glasses, and her favorite bottoms to wear lately, some… jorts.
yup, this is the girl jang wonyoung is down terrible for. a loser.
“honey, i’m home—oof!” yujin nearly gets knocked back out of the door after wonyoung tackled her for a hug. in a fit of laughter, yujin embraces her girlfriend tightly, giving her quick kisses on the side of her head in the process. yujin uses her leg to close the door shut behind the two of them before awkwardly shuffling further inside the room while still hugging wonyoung, who just refused to remove her head from the crook of yujin’s neck. the older girl wasn’t about to start complaining though—wonyoung was usually so reserved and, well, classy. only behind doors does wonyoung become this clingy, adorable creature that is always seemingly shooting hearts from her eyes while looking at yujin.
lately, they haven’t been given a lot of privacy so yujin missed her cute, loving girlfriend too! the two of them collapse slowly on the bed, where yujin immediately peppers wonyoung’s face with kisses while the younger girl laughs at the way it all tickles. eventually, yujin’s lips landed on wonyoung’s own and the latter made sure it stays there! taking yujin’s face in her hands and keeping her still, gently locking their lips in a soft, warm kiss that even makes yujin melt so quickly that she kisses back earnestly.
it was pretty easy to get lost in a searing kiss for the two of them. eventually only the smacks of their lips and their hums were heard in the room, with the occasional shuffling of the mattress underneath wonyoung and the sweet sounds that left her mouth. with the younger girl’s top slightly lifted, yujin had no problems putting her hand on wonyoung’s toned stomach and slowly dragging it upward to where wonyoung obviously wanted to touch her the second most.
“hmn.. ah, yujinnie…” how cute. yujin already had her moaning like that. yujin slides both of her hands further up until she was cupping wonyoung’s soft breasts and at the same time, she slots a knee in between the younger girl’s legs and pressed it lightly against her clothed pussy. wonyoung, being so desperate to feel yujin, starts to grind on the older girl’s knee, moaning softly at the added sensation of yujin toying with her nipples underneath her shirt.
wonyoung allows yujin to slip her tongue inside her mouth—an act that was always messy but did wonyoung ever care? of course not, not even when there was drool running down the side of her mouth. the messier the better, and wonyoung hoped that it gets worse from here because they both deserve this.
it wasn’t long before wonyoung was practically humping on her girlfriend’s thigh. her needy moans only intensified the longer yujin took to just rip her clothes off and make her see the stars. the older girl was adamant on keeping their clothes on, only merely pulling up wonyoung’s top to expose her pretty tits but never actually taking it off. and at this point, wonyoung had successfully popped open four of the buttons on yujin’s flannel shirt and was only slightly disappointed to see that yujin had been wearing a tank top and a bra underneath. but that still didn’t stop wonyoung from trying to feel yujin’s skin on her own.
“someone really missed me, huh?” yujin chuckles, watching as wonyoung struggled to open the rest of the buttons on her shirt. wonyoung ignores her teasing, however, and tugs impatiently on yujin’s shirt. and if yujin wasn’t completely smitten and head-over-heels for her girlfriend, she wouldn’t be yujin at all! so, yujin slips out of her shirt, as well as her tank top like wonyoung whined to her about, and smirks at how the younger girl seemed to be at a loss for words. still though, wonyoung finds enough control in herself to carefully and gently run her hands all over yujin’s chiseled features. everybody knows yujin works hard to shape her body to perfection, but wonyoung still finds herself in sheer awe every time she sees the results.
yujin working out was always a sight that wonyoung constantly looked back to and secretly admired. and even though they’re dating, wonyoung is still a bit too bashful to admit that even just the slightest glimpse of yujin’s muscles can make her crumble as her members always teased her about it to the point it would reach yujin’s ears, and then yujin would tease her and it would just be a lovely mess wonyoung would rather avoid. but at least right now they were in their own world, wonyoung has nothing to be ashamed about here. delicately, wonyoung pushed yujin back until the latter was standing up properly and wonyoung herself was sitting up on the bed.
wonyoung, looking up at her girlfriend whose eyes were riddled with curiosity, places her hands on yujin’s hips and pulls her closer and closer until her lips were touching yujin’s abdomen. for the next few minutes, ahn yujin finds herself feeling… shy as she watches her girlfriend leave soft, loving kisses all over the exposed skin on her stomach. why, wonyoung had to appreciate all the effort yujin puts into working out! what better way than this? kissing her firm abs, feeling and making random shapes on the other well-defined muscles on her back… hearing yujin’s soft laughs was a bonus, too.
“hey… i’m supposed to take care of you.” yujin runs her fingers through wonyoung’s hair, taking note of how smooth and soft it was and noticing that the chair in front of the vanity mirror was in slight disarray. now she knows wonyoung had been patiently—well, impatiently—waiting for her to finally join her in the night while looking all pretty for her.
“we can take turns.” wonyoung whispers softly. her kisses continued on rising and soon enough, her lips were on yujin’s chest. it was hard for the older girl to not melt on the spot when wonyoung looks up at her with pleading eyes—sure, there has never been a moment where yujin was able to resist those eyes, but something about this night was making her just a tad bit more vulnerable to them than usual. or perhaps it was just her immense love for wonyoung that made her so freaking soft. reaching behind, yujin unclasps her bra and allows it to fall to the ground, smirking slightly at the way wonyoung blushes at the sight of her bare breasts.
wonyoung leaned back, propping her hands up behind her to get a good look at her girlfriend who was now completely topless. “you’re so pretty, unnie…” she said, and even in the softness of her voice, yujin could hear her desire and it only adds up to the excitement of it all. wonyoung watches with anticipation as yujin takes off her shorts, failing to fight back the urge to bite her lip because good god did her girlfriend look amazing wearing only a pair of dark blue-colored panties, and how could she even pretend to not notice that wet spot on the fabric? wonyoung was delighted to know that she has such an effect, it makes her heart swell with pride… and she could tease yujin about it, see that deep blush on the older girl’s face that always looked so cute on her, but the only thing wonyoung wanted to do right now was feel her.
but wonyoung has been disciplined well enough to know she can’t do that until she has yujin’s permission, and so she watches as the older girl lays down on the bed. it wasn’t until yujin beckoned wonyoung over that the latter finally moved, crawling over on top of yujin quite eagerly.
“you want to take care of me, hm?” yujin tucks a strand of hair behind wonyoung’s ear.
jang wonyoung—the idol that everyone knows to be perfect, reserved, and elegant beyond comprehension. who would have thought that she would have such an astonishingly different side to her behind closed doors? in the outside world, wonyoung would not be caught having an expression that did not scream her genuine compassion and kindness but here she was on top of her group leader, her best friend, the love of her life, looking like she wanted to eat her whole. yujin wasn’t shy to admit that the way wonyoung carried herself right now only made that pool in between her legs get worse, but at least she had the fastest way to relieve herself of that ache right in front of her.
“go on then.”
ahn yujin—ive’s strong-willed leader that can do anything and everything except one: give up control. even right now, when her girlfriend is right on top of her, giving her neck spine-chilling open-mouthed kisses and sucking on her skin enough to leave a trail of quickly-blooming marks from her jawline down to her collarbone, she refuses to relax and actually allow wonyoung to take care of her. she keeps her hand buried on wonyoung’s beautiful locks, tugging slightly every time she feels something that makes her thighs twitch and her core beg for much-needed attention. but that was all okay to wonyoung; there was nothing more she loved than being bossed around and told what to do by her leader.
finally, after what seemed like forever, yujin feels wonyoung’s tongue on her hard nipple before she feels her warm mouth wrap around it, eliciting a beautiful moan that stirs something inside wonyoung. the latter reaches down and slides her hand inside yujin’s panties, palming her wet cunt and pressing her thumb against her clit.
again, yujin moans loudly and struggles to keep her composure. but still, she finds her ways. “g-good girl… oh, fuck… you always know know how to make me… f-feel good, hm?” she knew that the smallest of praises was enough to dumb wonyoung down into her personal pleasure toy that she can play with to do whatever she wants her to do—and her praises were not short of effect, as usual. wonyoung’s whines are muffled with her mouth around yujin’s nipple, her tongue too busy swirling and playing with the hardened bud to push out some words. she feels her own pussy creating a mess in her underwear, but yujin’s voice silences her needs.
“hmmn.. ngh… ahh—” every gasp, every hiss, and every little sound yujin made as wonyoung pinched, pressed on, and toyed with her clit reverberates through the younger girl’s fogged up brain and feeds her all the energy she needs to make her lover feel even better. “god… just fill me up, princess…” and that pet name was the icing on the cake.
impatiently, wonyoung rips off yujin’s panties with haste and throws it off to the side. her mouth finally leaves yujin’s nipple, which allows yujin to easily pull her back up and kiss her, hungrily and possessively. completely different from the sweet kisses they usually shared in secret rooms, behind the privacy of some curtains, in the dark corners of a set, and amidst unsuspecting eyes. and thank god for the kiss, because the room next to them surely would have heard the sound yujin made upon getting stuffed full with two fingers if her mouth hadn’t been busy being on wonyoung’s.
a loud whine from wonyoung manages to escape their locked lips when yujin pulls on her hair harshly, controlling the kiss as she pleases while simultaneously bucking her hips up to meet wonyoung’s thrusts. god knows how much she needed this. months long of touring, rehearsing, endless vocal warmups, and being on-the-go for hours on end… ahn yujin deserved the utmost care right now, and luckily for her wonyoung was more than willing to give her just that.
wonyoung’s pace increases, making yujin throw her head back in pleasure as her hips struggle to keep up. her moans were now loud and free with only wonyoung’s lips silencing her every now and again but even then, the latter was too busy leaving more marks on her leader’s neck. mine, she wants everyone to know even when they shouldn’t. wonyoung bites on yujin’s collarbone, and the older girl’s free hand clutches her shoulder, nearly piercing her skin. mine, she wants everyone who thinks they can win over yujin’s heart to know that she belongs with someone else already. her.
but now that yujin thought about it… wonyoung herself worked hard all tour long too, and what kind of girlfriend would yujin be if she didn’t make her feel good in return?
yujin tugs on the waistband of wonyoung’s shorts, “i wanna.. hah… feel you too, baby… take this off.” of course, wonyoung obeys her almost immediately. it was something about her that yujin always loved: whether she’s talking to her as her group leader or as her girlfriend, wonyoung will always listen to her and do what needs to be done at the drop of a hat. and before yujin could even think to open her eyes and take her mind off of the sensation of wonyoung’s fingers inside her, the younger girl has already taken off her shorts as well as her underwear.
wonyoung stares at yujin for a good minute—taking in every single one of her facial features as if she doesn’t already do just that every night they’re together. she then decided that her lips were feeling a bit too cold, so she paused her actions and leaned down to kiss yujin. the latter didn’t seem to mind prolonging her climax. even going as far as to allow wonyoung to pull her fingers out of the older girl’s cunt just so she can hold her face as they kissed. yujin could feel her cheek getting wet with her own slick but she didn’t exactly care when her heart felt like it was going to explode with the sheer amount of affection she was feeling for her lover.
and for a while, they got lost in each other’s lips and even forgot that they were in the middle of something. yujin holds wonyoung softly, both hands firmly but gently holding the latter’s waist as she takes control of the kiss. with their lips still locked, yujin flips their position and now that she was on top, she can truly show wonyoung how much she missed her. especially during these last few hours that she had to endure listening to her managers talk on and on about the precautions the girls should take before walking around the city and whatnot.
all yujin wanted to do at that time was to melt in her girlfriend’s arms and hold each other until the next afternoon. but unfortunately, a few minutes became a few hours. frankly, yujin felt bad that wonyoung had to stay up so late waiting for her. she should have been sleeping considering that it was quite the long and tiring show that they had that day, but she really waited for her. it was impossible for yujin to express her appreciation with just words… and actions, really, but she’ll for sure try her damn best.
“you can relax now, princess… it’s my turn to take care of you.” yujin says, giving the younger girl a last peck on the lips before leaning back. while she got herself situated, yujin smiles briefly at wonyoung, who blushed as she just sat there watching her girlfriend. it was stupid how she still sometimes felt like she was crushing on this ‘cool, funny unnie’ because for the longest time, that was really the farthest wonyoung got with her feelings.
some people like to tell her that it was actually quite cute how wonyoung still behaves like a high school girl who was in love for the first time and to that she thinks: sure, it could be cute… if it wasn’t so embarrassing at the same time! because come on, she was swooning over her girlfriend looking so handsome on top of her!
upon the realization that she looked quite stupid being flustered over literally nothing, wonyoung covers up her warm face with her hands, opting to only look at the older girl from behind the gaps between her fingers. yujin, unfazed, grins at her cute girlfriend, taking a mental note to tease her all about it tomorrow. it’s what she always does the morning after having sex! wonyoung has gotten used to it by now, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t get embarrassed whenever yujin starts to lay out whatever details she remembers from the night before.
“let me see you, wonyoung-ah,” yujin takes her girlfriend’s hands and holds onto them tightly. she laughs seeing wonyoung’s tomato-colored cheeks and ears. “you’re so red! are you okay?” adorable. wonyoung was never not going to be the cutest thing in yujin’s eyes, that’s for sure.
suddenly, those three simple words that she has gotten used to saying all these years have become so difficult to push out of her mouth. not because wonyoung didn’t want to say them, but because even she herself could make fun of just how much she means them. “i love you, yujin-unnie…” wonyoung managed to blurt out. her eyes were everywhere except on yujin’s own, afraid of getting teased to hell by the older girl and wonyoung always knew exactly when the teasing would come. yujin would usually slowly start giggling before she was full-on throwing her head back from laughter, and then she would pinch wonyoung’s cheeks and fawn over how adorable she was.
wonyoung was waiting for it. she was waiting for yujin’s soft laughs, waiting until her face was being peppered with kisses once again, and until the leader completely disregarded the situation the two of them were in and just flatter her until dawn… but strangely enough, none of it ever came. so, wonyoung finally looked yujin in the eyes and found her girlfriend blushing just as wildly as she had been.
well, that was certainly a brand new sight.
“i love you too… so much.” yujin replied rather breathlessly. it might be cheesy as fuck, but she feels her heart growing twice its size the longer she stared at wonyoung, who smiled so adoringly at her that she thought she would melt. it was at this moment that yujin decided she was willing to endure all the exhaustion that came with being on tour for almost an entire year four times over if at the end of everything, she would come home to wonyoung’s warmth.
she realizes now that that was made the long, long nights of working so worth it to put up with. she was never going to take fleeting moments such as this, where they are able to just be them, for granted ever again.
yujin leans forward, slowly, and holds back a chuckle upon seeing wonyoung close her eyes immediately, knowing full well what was coming. god, yujin could swoon. she technically was! deep inside! but she had to pull herself together—wonyoung had needs too and it was about damn time yujin fulfilled one of her many duties as her loving girlfriend. yujin puts one leg over wonyoung’s and gets real close until she able to catch her lover’s lips with her own, and simultaneously, she rocks her hips forward, giving both herself and wonyoung the absolute pleasure that was the feeling of their clits clashing against one another.
“oh…! gosh—” wonyoung takes a hold of yujin’s arm with one hand and a fistful of the white sheets below with the other hand, clutching both with an iron grip as the older girl continues on. her whines were muffled by yujin’s lips, the very same trick that she had pulled on her earlier when their positions were switched. yujin puts her hand on the back of wonyoung’s thigh, pushing her leg upwards slightly to give herself more room as her thrusts get faster.
wonyoung starts doing her own work as well, using her hips accordingly and still taking such good care of yujin even though it was ‘her turn’ to be coddled. wonyoung just couldn’t help it. every time there was a surge of love coursing through her veins, she just had to pour it all over yujin. and this was only one of her many methods of doing so.
“good… yes…!” yujin cries out. her eyes were shut tight, one hand almost piercing through her lover’s skin and the other practically nearly tearing the sheets off the bed. wonyoung, despite her hazed mind, takes yujin’s free hand in hers and holds it tight. it helps both of them a lot. that, they know.
“god… if only… we had a strap, huh?” yujin says with a big, stupid grin. wonyoung must not reveal to yujin that she had intended to bring one but ended up forgetting due to the million other problems she had to sort out. she would never hear the end of it… and yujin might just end up visiting a sex store in the city the next morning!
the younger girl fought the greatest urge to break into a smile, but ultimately failed. “s-stop joking around… just fuck me… p-please, unnie…!” wonyoung pleaded. and she didn’t have to tell yujin twice. the older girl decided to shut up then, and pins wonyoung’s hand above her hand, thrusting faster than ever with only one objective in mind.
now they were really going to get complaints from the next couple of rooms. poor gaeul, who had actually been staying in the room directly next to theirs, probably won’t be able to even stand next to them tomorrow! neither of them could suppress their sounds—merely a chorus of whines and each other’s names left their mouths until finally, yujin’s hips come to a stutter as she came. wonyoung followed soon after, with a single tear rolling down her cheek as a mere proof of yujin’s very successful efforts.
the exhausted older girl collapses on wonyoung’s chest, gathering the very little strength left in her body to stay awake. wonyoung held her girlfriend tenderly, fixing the mess that was her hair while simultaneously getting themselves into a more comfortable position on the bed. yujin laid somewhat on top of wonyoung still, but a lot of her weight rested on the soft mattress of the bed as well.
not a lot of words were shared between the two of them as they laid there catching their breath. in fact, wonyoung thought that yujin had fallen asleep until she felt the hem of her shirt being tugged. the leader raises her head and stares at the oddly familiar graphic tee wonyoung was wearing, and then she smirks.
“my love… is this the shirt that has gone missing from my luggage for the past two weeks?” yujin asked, stifling a giggle.
“i-i didn’t think it was a big deal—i mean, you have so many shirts! a-and… i really like this one,” wonyoung, cheeks as red as a blood moon, takes the collar of ‘her’ shirt and sniffs. “it smells a lot like you too. i just… miss you a lot these days.”
yujin takes wonyoung’s hand and plants a kiss on her knuckles, “i don’t mind, baby. and i miss you too.” and every time those exact words are said, wonyoung will never not feel giddy.
the younger girl manages to compose her heart and says, “we’re lucky we get to be normal people for a while then! i have a lot planned for us, and the girls too.” wonyoung exclaims rather excitedly. while yujin had been busy being held up by the managers a few hours before, wonyoung spent all of that time making a list of all the worthwhile things they could do in this foreign city once the sun comes up. she had been wanting a chance to feel like a group of friends with her members as well, and now that she was able to be lovers with yujin for a night, who’s to say she won’t have just as much of a fun time being normal with her members too?
yujin lays there, utterly speechless at how she was actively still falling in love with wonyoung’s smile after all these years. still, she gets a hold of herself and kisses the younger girl’s hand again, “really? tell me all about it! but um… do make room for another night like this, hm?” she joked.
wonyoung pinches the bridge of yujin’s nose, laughing when the latter whines about it. she quickly kisses her forehead as compensation, “don’t worry, unnie. we have lots and lots of time just for the two of us.”
“good,” yujin hums. she places her head on her girlfriend’s chest, listening to her heart. it was the most comforting sound in the world, even more so when she knows that it beats solely for her. “you and me—my favorite pastime.”
#ive smut#ive imagines#ive scenarios#annyeongz smut#annyeongz scenarios#annyeongz imagines#ahn yujin smut#ahn yujin scenarios#ahn yujin imagines#jang wonyoung smut#jang wonyoung imagines#jang wonyoung scenarios#yujin smut#yujin scenarios#yujin imagines#wonyoung imagines#wonyoung scenarios#wonyoung smut#ahn yujin x jang wonyoung smut#ahn yujin x jang wonyoung imagines#yujin x wonyoung smut#yujin x wonyoung imagines#gg smut#kpop smut
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red pearl earring ♥️
#tgcf#tgcf fanart#xie lian#hualian#tian guan ci fu#heaven official’s blessing#idk if I like this one but whatever putting it out into the world#so I can stop working on it#never mind I just replaced the picture with a new version lol I'm indecisive
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day 169
this is it, the dynamic
#day 169#year 5#aradia megido#kanaya maryam#homestuck#arakan#based largely on their first pesterlog#kanaya is so. FUCKING condescending to her and its funny#actually edit: i added the link to the page just read it#kanaya being a lil shit is my favorite for her actually#and aradia being like 0h n0t this shit again#like its just so!!!!!!#funny but also like KIND OF GENUINELY MEAN FOR NO REASON fjdhjdhd#its LITERALLY just kanaya dropping into aradias dms to be like#Hey Bestie Just A Reminder That You Should Feel A Little Bit Guilty About Everything That Happens From Here On Out#Even Though It Is Basically Inevitable#Lucky For You Though I Am Going To Be Very Gracious And Clean Up After Whatever Dumb Shit You Are About To Pull With This Game#like GIRL WHAT IS UR DAMAGE FKDHSKHDGD im obsessed#i mean obviously she has some fucked up feelings internally about participating in a game that ends the world#i wonder if she feels guilty herself for letting aradia and sollux pull half the code from her set of frog ruins#like. maybe shes so guilt trippy about it because she wants to convince herself that all the blame can be put on aradia#and that if she voices her disapproval OF aradias actions then shes like. on record as being Right About The Situation#but ALSO if she is sooo magnanimous and forgiving about it then maybe nobody has to be punished for all of it (not even herself)#idk IDK. i just think its fascinating as a kanaya character moment especially as one of her earliest conversations
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Hi, I’m so sorry if others have asked this, but what are the chances of the star trek charms being up in your ko-fi? I know you mentioned you were at an art fair recently so if there aren’t any left no worries! Just wanted to ask! :) I need an excuse to do some depression shopping lolol
Thank you! Have a good day/evening/night! 🖖
i do plan to put them up on my kofi!! i most certainly still have some left lmao i've just gotta get some shipping supplies and figure all that out. the amount of spocks i have post-art fair is in the single digits, but i might make more if people want more?

^ anyways i put them on my jacket today because i think theyre fun :]
#they hung out with me for two days of convention going..#ask#annie-in-the-real-world#also planning to put up some new prints#also new spock sticker#and some not trek related bracelets since i have a gazillion of those left over lmao i dunno if anyone wants them but whatever#ig i do technically have spirk color ones tho i made a couple blue and gold ones#id like to finish some winter sticker designs soon but idk we will see.. ive got sketches finished…..
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Personal headcanon about the "you picked the wrong dellamorte" line, I don't think illario actually likes rook outside the context of them being someone close to lucanis. Like rook on their own isn't much to him, but when they meet it's yet another person talking about his cousin (why isn't he good enough for whatever job they're hiring for?) and on top of that they somehow bring him back from the dead (another whole can of worms for illario). Now he starts turning on the charm, but whether he's actually interested or this is just one more thing his cousin has that he doesn't and it gets under his skin, who knows. Either way, rook ignores illario, the guy who lives off his charm, and is instead interested in the guy who's never even dated before and thinks giving someone a knife is how to flirt. Infuriating
NO THANK YOU !! i am genuinely sorry if i have ever implied illario is into rook like i see some takes about it and unless it like ties into your rook's personal backstory i don't seriously think he's romantically jealous. at all. my enjoyment of that line stems from illario's pathological need to make it about himself and not see his strengths but what lucanis has, and therefore what he doesn't. he's annoyed enough to try and goad you in the middle of a fight about the 'wrong' dellamorte and completely blind to the fact that the venatori are at best, a stupid fucking alliance, and at worst, a cult that will devour the crows from the inside out and illario would have been the one to give them the keys. he sees lucanis make allies, needs his own, and instead of charming the other talons/houses as he should, he (probably spitefully) picks the venatori. or maybe he just thought it would be easier. ugh he makes me want to telekenetically throw him around
#and you raise a very hilarious point too LMFAO#not that he is jealous. just mad as hell its not working <3 I LIKE HIM VERY MUCH AND A NORMAL AMOUNT#to be clear i think his characterisation changed dramatically from wigmaker's job and a lot of his uh#very rash decisions about achieving power feels like they just needed a traitor character for lucanis#to really max out the use of spite. i really wish honestly that there was some canon support for illario#who would probably be a little more liked/popular than lucanis. bc lucanis is respected by the crows#but he's also a very distant 'dellamorte heir' figure. respect is not the same as being liked. so you know#there's the serious assassin with a rep for how good he is at killing#and there's a friendlier assassin with a rep for sweet talking#and neither of those reputations are necessarily true. but i know which one i'd be less afraid of#and i think illario would know that. and be able to use that. BUT WE DONT GET IT. WHATEVER.....#illario dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#answered#also we're introduced to an illario that understands being a crow. and has had all that drilled into him since childhood#why. would he. ally with the venatori.#why would he put himself into a situation that he couldnt control. other than 'the story needs a villain'#what im trying to say. is . there were the makings of a crow civil war here that ends with him tragically dead#if you asked me to expand on this i dont think i could. but like the main issue being the crows not standing together making#the antaam invasion worse (btw regarding this why the fuck were the antaam even invading) so lucanis' quest is#idk. something like uniting the crows together and potentially repairing his relationship w illario#or hardening him and convincing he needs to kill illario#this is me spitballing. dont even mind me#(glances at the 'illario mention' alarm going off in the background)#EDIT: AND ALSO IT JUST CAME TO ME#killing illario as an ending also makes lucanis first talon (oh we're really in the cycles now)#forgiving illario ends with illario becoming 'talon' tho he and lucanis work closely. like a ceo vs cfo#and ends with them repairing their relationship#in the ideal world lucanis would fully leave but im alright with crows making small steps towards becoming a bit healthier
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives
#sorry not to get on this bullshit i just saw a related post when i opened this app lmao#and by some people i don’t mean anyone in particular im not vagueing anyone or any specific post#and i especially don’t mean any transfem calling out transmisogynistic transmascs either#but yeah i see a lot of implication that trans men are like. somehow significantly privileged over cis women#and ofc i don’t mean that transmascs are incapable of being misogynistic to cis women bc that’s far from the case#but i need someone to name a transmasc with significant political or social or financial power that’s working to set back women’s rights#versus the amount of cis women with any of the aforementioned privileges working to take away the rights of trans people#bc i can think of 4 of the latter just off the top of my head without trying really hard#and the only day to day instance i can think of where trans men would hold significant power over a cis woman is like..#a workplace environment where he completely passes as cis and absolutely no one knows he’s trans at all or even suspects it#but then again most if not all of that privilege would be stripped away the second anyone there found out he was trans#but yeah i really do think some people need to grapple with how they conceptualize gendered privilege and their own power in these dynamics#and how that’s reflected in the way they think about/interact with transmascs#are you disgusted with this random transmasc on tumblr because he’s a man (or vaguely adjacent) or because he’s trans. ykwim#and again i hate the whole transandrophobia thing i think it’s stupid as shit and redundant to put it lightly and briefly but#idk why transmascs that believe in it have become the new face of anti-feminism and MRA movements#and not like. the cis men who started both of those things and contribute to the vast majority of that type of rhetoric in every way#and also hold enough power to leverage those beliefs over both women and also transmascs tbh#i think some people are just repulsed by the idea of anyone willingly wanting to be a man bc they see it as the same as becoming a cis man#in terms of privilege. when in reality by being trans you’re knocked down in terms of power and privilege from all cis people anyways#but also. some people also need to realize that transmascs can also have trauma and complicated feelings about being a man and patriarchy#and more often than not we ARE traumatized by the way cis men (and women!!) have treated us#and grapple with our place in the world as a result. it’s not just as simple as becoming a cis man over night tbh!!#and again i’m not talking about transfems with any of this because the vast Vast majority of transfems understand this more than anyone#i’m mostly talking about cis women both irl and also just in the terminally online leftist sphere#and i also think i should be allowed to vent my grievances with the power cis women often do wield over me without being accused of being a#raging misogynist or MRA or whatever
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pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)






like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…
#there’s like 5 weeks to go till chapter 6 is released into the rest of the world and i m n o t r e a d y—#man. chapter 5 still manages to ruin my mood no matter how many times i read it… man.#i was having so much fun with renren and concon and the 3 stooges and th e n.#imagine putting on a (somewhat) perfect/cute act to hide your true self because you know you’re unlovable the way you are#but then someone else runs along and screws up every step of the way without putting on any airs and is adored for it anyway…#i imagine chapter 6 will be much worse. especially since the start of the flashback begins there…#i sincerely hope the flashback ends in chapter 7 bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#though. considering where we are now in the series. i think there’s a chance that vol 2 will come out at the end of december#ch 8 will prolly start to drop somewhere around the later half of november so it seems about right…#b u t if there’s the preorder bonus manga for vol 2 in dec can we have santa girl chuutan in it p l s—#i think we’ll need an incredibly cute bonus feature to lift the mood from whatever the heck’s going on with vol 2’s chapters#bc. idk. im sensing some self hatred with this one chizuchan… it’s as though she can only love herself if she’s dolled up as chuutan…#like. even in her aizo self-insert delusions she’s thinking of herself as chuutan… maybe im reading too much into this. hm.#but then again she even puts on makeup when she’s at home in her own room…#w a i t a sec what if this wack behaviour only came about bc of what’s about to be revealed in the flashbacks. wait. no. w h a t if—#i hope manga chizuchan will be able to love herself properly soon… we all love you chizuchan~~~~~~~~~~#this. too. is our oshi no—#dammit why is something set in the same universe as the [redacted] anime making me feel things??? i hate itttttttttt#anyways. wh. what if one of the h10w turns out to be an anime adaptation of the chizuchan manga#and they’re just waiting on. like. the final vol to announce it.#it���d make the most sense for an anime series at this point… since chizuchan is marketable and it’s set in the same anime verse#so there’s no inconsistencies to retcon and such…#but!!!! most importantly!!!!!! we’d be able to see animated renren and concon!!!!!!!#…but something like this will only appear in my delusions huh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#mousou dake no kawaikute gomen anime#ok that’s enough thinking for the day; back to kimikawaii mv g o o d b y e~~~~#chizuutan chizpost
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2 hour rough drawing of Ehuang, my precious Green Opal child who I don’t draw nearly enough <3
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#original character#ehuang beifong#<— finally. a new OC with a proper tag#tbh it is much easier to tag characters who have last names#and we’ve never discussed it but I do think Ehuang carries the Beifong last name. whether or not she uses it is a different matter#I feel like she’s a Beifong officially she never puts much emphasis on it. she prefers the other side of her family anyway#okay moving on from that#next gens for next gens. quite a deep niche in reaching here#but I don’t care. I love Ehuang as a representation of everything good and pure in the world too much to object to her existence#baby girl. sweet girl#and yeah I’ve drawn her with Midori Opal and Suiren before so I thought I’d try something else#and while Kuvira isn’t actually shown here. just know that she’s absolutely tearing up off screen#you can pull the idea of Kuvira absolutely adoring her little niece out of my cold dead hands#wait omg I never posted my earlier art of Ehuang on here have I#okay once I’m done with my current projects I’ll refine and post those#the world deserves to see more of Ehuang#I feel like this particular scenario also hits some spot in Kuvira bc she knows who Ehuang’s bio dad is#and Ehuang looks just enough like him. despite being very similar to Midori. that imagining her with a beauty mark under her eye…#it brings Certain Ideas to mind. very fleeting and eliciting a ‘imagine that. I love this girl to bits but I’m sure glad I’m not her mom’#kind of response. but overall no one really lingers on that fact. I feel. her parents are Midori and Opal#Bataar’s just the donor. no one calls him her bio dad. he doesn’t see her as his daughter. probs Suyin is the only one who puts up a fuss#like not letting up about Ehuang being his kid even though he’s told her countless times that his involvement is irrelevant#he doesn’t wish to be ehuang’s dad. that wasn’t why he helped create her.#he did so because he loves his sister and SIL. because he knew they wanted a baby. not because he wanted a child himself#he’s quite content being her uncle thank you very much. and idk why I just went on this ramble lmao#maybe I should try to write something Ehuang related. explore all these relationships and whatever. we’ll see
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like i wouldnt mind like. Not having new linear games post 5 its judt that sims 4 wasnt even supposed to Be The Sims 4 it was a last minute pivot and the base code is so outdated and was broken On launch so like. i just wish we could have the final actual sims game be like. one that was always intented to be a major sims release AND be intended to be so long term . yk
#i dont even want like. Ooh major graphical updates whatever if sims 5 was announced and they looked photorealizstic id hurl i wouldnt play#it#my ideal would ig be sims 4 with a touch more realism style wise. if this makes sense#like its a bittt too cartoony for me but i like the like. Clay hair or whatever SJFNFJ. and i think having it be simple in basegame means#you can customize it easier + itd run better on more pcs#so im fine eith that. i would nottt want it more cartoony#i also like. I understand the sims is like. an all ages game i do sometimes wish that the animations in 4 were a bit toned down#like i dont mind silly goofy wacky stuff i think its fun and like. The sims has always been a bit sillay yk. but the overexaggerated#animations r sometimes like -_-.... to me. but thats personal preference#IDK. the tags that show up when i type idk r so funny. do i ever know anything. sources say no#BUT ya i just rly wish like. if this is what they wanna do i wish theyd give us One more full game give it lots of time and love and rly rly#focus on having it excel at like. being this partnof the sims#since they wanna have like. Other sims games that have online features and multiplayer and everything. they could use that to make sure that#ts5 was Rly solid as a foundation and as like. ykwim..... they could plan updates for the future And dlc or whatever and i just think itd be#a better move than trying to make sims 4 happen#bc i judt dont think With all the updates in the world. sims 4 wont ever be like. what it couldve been. yk. i just dont think you can make#it work without Fullllyyyy just starting over.#and at this point with like..so many modders and stuff and everything and how much dlc there is thatd be impossible Esp if they keep#releasing new stuff which. They will ^_^#idk. im excited for some other lifesim games im keeping my eye out#but i rly do love the sims and i just wish that it could be as good as it could be. It has such a huge budget and team and like. if ea would#stop just trying to make as much money as possible off it i feel like they could make Such an amazing game. not to put down indie gamedevs#at all the games jve been looking at look Incredible like.. yk. but the fact those games are so good eith FAR smaller teams and budgets is#like. imagine what we could have if the sims had that amt of care and time put into it.#but whatever whatever whatever. sorry im just rambling#again ik what i would want from my platonic ideal of a sims game isnt what everyone would eant#but idk. i feel like another good step might be like. making the other sims games more available and updating them so they run better on#modern pcs. but i dont think thatll ever happen DNDNFJFNFN.
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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...
#easterners on tumblr acting like the smoke from canada is something new and horrific for whatever reason#are SO funny to me?? like girl try living in the non-coastal western US for a few years it literally happens EVERY SUMMER#it is NOT the end of the world it's NOT anything new due to climate change#it's NOT going to shrivel up your lungs and give you cancer or whatever to put up with it for one(1) summer#like obviously you don't want to be out in that air quality but it's not as dire as these people seem to think it is#and it's literally VERY VERY NORMAL for most people in the places I grew up#so it's sorta funny and puzzling to see people all worked up over it. idk.
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Really struggling with trying to figure out what's me. Like what I enjoy and what ideas/traits/desires are actually my own. I think it's beautiful that people influence each other and grow together, but I'm left feeling lost right now and wondering what's actually me.
#idk ive been thinking about it a lot and really struggling#hard also to tell what's the depression and whats actually something i don't care about#i feel like i can say that playing world of warcraft was something that came from me.#but it started feeling like a chore in Dragonflight so i stopped playing.#and now everything feels tainted by other's influence and i dont know whats me anymore.#although i do need to remember that i did start playing Dragon Age on my own but it only feels like it was influenced by others because#i discovered my one irl friend used to love the games and then i got my other irl friend playing them#but i dont know how much of going into physics was my own choice or just following the path i saw before me#although i loved physics when i started doing mechanics in calculus and thought it was so cool#then i found accelerator science and detectors and nuclear physics to be so cool when i did an internship at a national lab#and then i took the most direct route to get into doing research at that lab#but things have gotten so lost and tangled up with all the horrible stuff that grad school puts you through#and the horrible stuff from this collaboration in particular#that it feels like all thats left is shame and fear and none of the wonder or curiosity#everything i do or write or whatever feels like an opportunity to 'get found out' as a fake or just fill me with shame#i thought that getting a job offer would fix me and help me get through the bullishit but the pressure is makikg things worse#and with this job im wondering if im just doing what im told and being influenced by other's suggestions and wants.#(dont go to grad school. its literally the worst thing you can do for your mental health)#vent#okay this actually kind of helped so im glad I made this post#feel free to reblog if you relate
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Gay.
gonna use this ask i didn’t initially dignify with a response to say that not replying to the ask game anons is killing me oh my god. overarching post to everyone who sent one holy shit those are some of the coolest things ive ever heard. really really really incredibly immeasurably happy that i can help inspire some of u, AND that ive met so many cool ppl in the community :] u guys slap
#tham talks#but no really those all are so meaningful?#idk if its just coming out of a rut of ‘it wouldn’t really matter if i stopped posting’ because idk. brain chemistry#and i tend to base my value off of what i can bring to the table so if i feel like my presence in a community isnt like.#actively helping at least *someone*#then it doesnt really feel fair to continue?#idk if thats a good outlook or not- and its not based on numbers#just on like. net effect on the world. unfortunately the discord has NOT been helping with that lately ill be real#but no i do need that kinda bitchslap moment of no! you doing this makes at least one person happy#and THEY deserve the effort your putting in#and that in turn helps me get off my ass or out of whatever rut im in and start creating again#which makes me happy#so its worked out so far!#idk what the fuck im saying and this feels WAY too personal but i dont want to delete or reread it so#anyways. thanks for helping with the weirdest cycle of inspo imaginable LMAO
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you know, I feel like, as little money as I have, I still haven’t put into perspective how much I have that could still be of use. I’m not so poor that I can’t make a difference. I can still buy a meal if I go out. I can buy a trinket. I’m not so poor or struggling with life that I don’t have food in my stomach and a place to sleep. Donating like I have this week has me wanting to do something that I hope many others are already doing. For every cent I would have spent for myself, on groceries, deliveries, gifts, etcetera (beyond the strikes where I am not spending money on anything but Palestinian causes) I will donate equal or greater that amount to Palestine. Because if I have money for me, I should have money for others. This is not me setting myself on fire to keep others warm, I know I would be of no use long term if I destroyed myself by going entirely broke with no way to survive myself. This is considering things beyond medical bills and life expenses that I need to keep going. When I count groceries, it’s things like when I use Instacart bc I can’t go out, because even though I don’t have a means of transportation, delivery is a luxury and if I can afford to pay for that, I can afford to donate. If I buy something non-essential like some snacks or the like, I have to match it with a donation. Because if I can afford to buy that, I can afford to donate. And just due to the nature of being a reminder, every time I get my period I’m going to donate to sanitary products for Palestine, because while pads are an essential product, donating even a little bit towards helping others get even the opportunity to get the same access as I do is an important reminder. There’s $5 donations available for those, and that’s about the cost of an average subscription I would be able to afford— it won’t buy a whole kit, but it will still put money towards that goal. I may not be able to do all the good the world needs, but the world needs all the good that I can do. As much as I can spare, I will donate. I only wish I could do more.
#idk it kind of hit me this week when I had to spend some money what I would do to make an impact with my money since I had to spend some#that the policy of matching whatever I spent here with donations to Palestine would be a great way to keep up action#and a reminder with every cent I spend of Palestine#I only pray that someday soon I will gain the freedom to actually do some more physical irl work as well#rn I’m not in a safe place to do so without the risk of losing my freedom to do anything and health#i can’t even call out loud when my parents are in the house because any word I would say would be grounds to take away more of my freedom#like they did when I donated to Black Lives Matter and they physically took me to a public place to scold me#and have monitored my bank account ever since.#I’ve been using PayPal mostly for donations ever since due to that not showing up immediately but#I DID use my direct card to send. sanitary kits. they won’t win that one if they take me out to scold me though lol#anyway these tags aren’t important I’m just equal parts emboldened and frustrated#emboldened by the idea of a way I can make a more direct impact beyond sharing and archiving#and frustrated that even then my options are slim and I have to be cautious#I wish I could risk it all but I would be of no help if I put myself in a position where I was either homeless or unable to act at all#I hope this doesn’t come across self important#it’s just me making a statement that I want to follow#idk this is just me working out the complexities of my situation and what I can do long term#while still actually making an impact directly on the world both right now and sustainably
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