#idk i think i kinda missed this one LMAO
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okokok, so. idk if you write for megumi, buuuttt:
secret relationship au! between megumi and reader; resulting in them having to reveal the secret because:
"gojo sees through all of megumi’s lies and actually finds out that megumi and reader are dating each other"
(i love coming up with these)
You open your locker after finishing up your training lesson to get some water. You're surprised when a folded piece of paper comes out of it, but you hurry nonetheless to pick it up and make it seem like you dropped something out of your hands instead. You put it in your pocket just in time, because you suddenly feel a strong arm draping over your shoulders.
"Hey, you!"
Looking up you find Yuuji grinning and Nobara just behind him, waving gently at you before smacking the pink haired male on the back of his head. He winces and immediately starts running.
"Learn what it means to give people personal space, you idiot!" she screams, chasing him down the hallway with her hammer in her hand, ready to strike him. You sigh, smiling at their antics.
You turn around to close your locker door, when you find a figure right next to it and you blush.
"Hey," mumbles Megumi, shily lifting a corner of his mouth.
"Hey, handsome," you answer, watching if anyone is near you before kissing him lightly on his cheek. You and Megumi have gotten together quite recently, and you both agreed on not making your relationship known, both for your own peace of mind and for saving the annoyance you'd have to deal with from your friends. You walk beside each other, going toward professor Gojo's classroom while having small talk: he asks you how you're feeling, how training went and what he can do to help your sore muscles feel better.
"Did- did you read the note, by the way?" he asks, avoiding your gaze and scratching behind his red ears.
"Oh, you put that in there? I still have-"
"If it isn't my two favorite students coming in late! Come in, come in!" a booming voice says behind both of you, startling you. You hear Megumi clicking his tongue at the sound of Gojo's nagging, while you resort to chuckle behind your hand. You sit down at your desk, which is the furthest from Megumi's one, when you feel a pair of piercing blue eyes staring at you. A shiver runs up your spine and you realize you've never felt more intimidated, incapable of moving and scrutinized than how you're feeling right now.
"Do you have something to share with the class, Megumi? Maybe something about one of your classmates?" you hear Gojo singing from the teacher's desk. You widen your eyes, your head snapping toward your boyfriend's inscrutable face.
"No, professor."
"Not even the love letter you so graciously wrote to our sweet yn?"
And that's how you're forced to reveal your not-so-secret relationship in front of an overjoyed and jumping Yuuji and a pained Nobara, who not even so quietly tells you that if you ever need a psychologist she knows a good one.
read the tags!! thank you anon for sending me this prompt, it was def out of my comfort zone lol
#idk i think i kinda missed this one LMAO#i just have to practice y'all i promiseeeee#megumi is a kid in my mind so i kinda picture him and reader being 15 in this one#yk when you're getting your first crush and everything and you're a little shy and embarrassed? yeah#maybe it's because i want to smack megumi more than i'd like to admit idk tho!! his dad is worse#megumi fushiguro#megumi x reader#megumi x y/n#megumi x you#megumi fluff
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if laios was a monster obsessed hunter in the monster hunter universe (maybe mhw:i specifically becos thats what im familiar with lmao). what do you think his favorite monster would be
#to be clear he would absolutely still have his ultimate strongest monster or whatever#but are there any that u think like. hed be super interested in specifically#and if u had any thoughts for why................................#actually did he even have a fave in canon lmao.#i missed the alternate universe day for laishuro week but. i still wanna draw this LMAO#i think laios being in astera fits (exploring new territory kinda). but also im having shuro be from kamura#because. thats the other one im familiar with LMAO#ive only just entered elgado in sunbreak so idk enough about it but also like. idk the vibes dont . fit imo#even tho it would be better for having them meet in a 'realistic' way#<- wait and also kamura is obviously more like. japanese influenced LMAO#also having trouble choosing armor for him. kinda wanna stick him in the base ones and he just switches them out as needed#but also it would be really funny for eg kabru in like chainmail armor to see him and go how the FUCK has he got full set fatalis
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Cory and the glitter story time if you feel inclined?
God so the post is HERE for the aftermath lmao
Unfortunately you cannot see just how bad it was, and how MUCH of it there was because it was like... micro-nano glitter....
This happened NINE YEARS AGO....
@spinejackel is my dear friend Cory, and back when I actually DID my Ask Xigbar blog the round before this last one or whatever?? - I had a whole crew and we all hung out on the reg and had a good time yadda yadda. Got kinda fucked by some falling outs and me realizing I think I'm just a shoddy friend period but ya'know. THROWS SPARKLES IN THE AIR.
But Cory is the Xaldin to my Xigbar, and I had affectionately named him Mamadin and Mother Din. Because that poor bastard would be the parental voice of reasoning nhjgh.
I don't remember what started the SPACE SILK thing but it was like... a birthday or a follower celebration or something? And we just kinda kept doing shit with these massive silk scarves with space design on them and nude drawings and it was a Thing™
So I'm shopping online one day and I come across some space silky scarves one day. BRILLIANT, I think. And I buy one for him, our other friend Dacien who was my Papa Larxy, Dem, and myself. BECAUSE AW WE'LL MATCH, BESTIES~
I keep this a secret, I make cards for them all and start putting care packages together for them all and they are none the wiser amidst the Skype calls, the group hang outs or anything.
Amazing.
Mother's day comes up and I think I'm the funniest bitch in the world. I order Mamadin a fucking WORLD'S OKAYEST MOM mug - the most Xigbar of actions I can do, honestly. PERFECT. So I get to packing all my shit together for each of them and I in my impulsive thoughts see my tiny packets of glitter for a project I never did just... chillin'. I think HAHA wouldn't it be funny to sprinkle some of that in these... like.... what a Xigbar level shit move to do....
So I unfold the scarves, sprinkle some, and refold them and package them up.
EXCEPT MAMADIN. I JUST PUT THE WHOLE PACKET IN THERE AND JUST WAS LIKE 'YEAH. GOOD." nfgjkh
Fast forward to Cory streaming, and my package arrives, and I'm like BRO OPEN IT ON STREAM!" and he's EXCITED njghk and he opens it and is like taking it all out and I'm like BRO BE DRAMATIC GIVE IT A FLUTTER....
I have never been more amused and horrified by the beauty of the chaos that happened from that as a little purple cloud just FLUTTERED DOWN and he was like >:O.......... WHAT THE HELL...
His pictures do it no justice, it was EVERYWHERE. I FELT BAD BUT ALSO LIKE... THIS IS WHEN I'M IN MY 20'S AND THIS WAS CHAOS FUN.
The worst part is I think this is about the time he was starting to plan for moving states out to his dad's so like IT GOT IN THE CLOSET SOMEHOW, IT GOT IN SUPPLIES HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW, I GOT PICTURES MONTHS LATER OF HIM POINTING AT A DOG PAW GOING "DO YOU SEE THAT?" AND IT WAS THIS GLITTER THAT DOG HAD NO WAY OF HAVING ON THEM....
Like this glitter followed him states away...
But I love my Mamadin, and he was a really good sport for that and I would have understood if he never spoke to me again nhgjndghjk but it's a stupid fond memory.
#kat talks#hi cory I love you dude lmao#I wish I was a better friend though and like wasn't so fucking awkward about rekindling friendships and shit njgdkh#I miss like skype and discord calls with cory and dacien a lot like... ;; it was fun little just chill vibe times and like idk I fucked up#I fucked up a lot by not being able to partition my time properly and kinda giving shoddy attention to everyone tbh :)) like I was doing#too much and not enough and that fucking sucks and I'm sorry whoop~!!#but yeah man like I'm fucking awkward as shit maintaining long standing conversations past one day of talking idfk what happened to me#I think maybe I just blow tbh YEAH!!!
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#holidays have not been what i hoped for so far 😔😔#well the first week was good but then i got sick 😭#and it's been so awful#having a cough is literally the worst i couldn't sleep it was so bad#and i couldn't even enjoy doing anything really because you can't properly focus on the thing bc ur coughing non stop#i hate it sm#and today it was gone all day only that now it is back altough not as bad as before but still#it always gets worse in the evening#like help i just want this to end#what made it even worse i had real plans to study and now i barely got anything done 😭😭#and now i'm scared for exams bc i couldn't follow the plan altough i still have more than 2 and 3 weeks left#in my mind i already think i'm gonna do badly bc i need to study more i'm afraid#and i'm also upset at myself even though it's not my fault i got sick but i keep thinking i still could have done more ughh#to make it even worse i coudn't play tennis for a whole week and i was so looking forward to playing everyday (and improving) 😢😢#i couldn't do any sports or see anyone i miss it sm#i hope at least in the new year i can do stuff again 🥺#it was just the worst cold/flu and idk why whenever i get it it's that extreme 😵💫#or idk is it normal that you can't sleep bc of it ... i just don't wanna get sick again ever lmao it's the worst#i guess christmas was still nice it wasn't that bad then and it was a lovely day with my family :)#and our tree was really pretty this year and i'm really happy with my gifts and also those i gifted 🥰#the week before was good i did play lots of tennis and i went on a christmas market with uni friend and to vienna for a trip with my mom ^^#but maybe it was too much sometimes i wonder if i do something wrong or if it is just bad luck like i did train a lot#and i played a tennis match for my club and won against a higher ranked opponent so yay 😁#and i played really well i feel like i once again really improved my level :)) but i did play kinda sick already so maybe that was rly bad😅#maybe i should stop doing that 😅 but i didn't know it's gonna get this bad i just had the worst headache and sore throat#well ig i should have known but i also always feel like i have to play and i love matches and like my team needs me?#who else would have won that? i'm one of the best at my team and the others who are rly good weren't there that day so i felt responsible 😅#honestly my mom possibly she is also quite good but it would have been close and i wasn't sure so i played 😅#but i have done this too often by now... playing sick i really can't help myself 🤦♀️
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bro why does my art suck SO bad lately. i cant take it anymore!!!!!!!!
#💾#every time i want to draw i either cant draw at all#or i spend hours drawing just to get to the part where i need to color it and realize i dont like iiiiiitttt and dont know how to render it#bc unfortunately it is. hard to render something u dont like!#but fuck dude idk what to do anymore#even the stuff i kinda like i end up not being able to finish????????#ive abandoned so many things i genuinely wanted to finish lately haha wheeeee#and it's driving me crazy bc i just want to like. make stuff#and i have so many ideas built up in my head for stuff i want to draw but nothing comes out right :') making me a lil insane i think#plus i want to draw stuff before i finish the game so i keep postponing playing bc my art motivation is fleeting so i gotta Grab It#so im actively not doing things i want to do in hopes of being able to finish something. and then i dont finish it#which leaves me with this empty feeling of 0 payoff for any of the hours of work i did#and idk not being able to finish a single piece ive started in the past few months is rly getting to me. idk what im doinggggg#why cant i draw anymore man!!! i have inspo and motivation!!! this shit sucks!!!!!#that one lucanis doodle is literally the only thing ive been able to finish in months#and i still look at it and realized i missed some stuff so i dont even like it. lmao#idk i think maybe i need to die. my art career is cooked i think
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had a GVF dream last night and naturally in my dream I had to log onto tumblr and tell everyone about my experience
so here I am fulfilling the prophecy
#I miss them 😔#I dreamt that I went all the way to LA to see one of their shows at a small outdoor venue#very intimate and there was no pit !!! It was GA but no pit !!! CHAIRS#and the venue accommodated for my visual disability and let me in early so for the first time in my life I had a good view at a GVF show LOL#Jake was wearing the dragon suit from DIG#I think Sam was wearing his original DIG suit too? it was also black#Danny was wearing his Starcatcher outfit#and Josh was wearing a new jumpsuit that was white and BEJEWELED FROM HEAD TO TOE#it was sooo sparkly and pretty#so then they played a song and it was a cover (I don’t remember what song) and I was like well that’s kinda weird#and then oomf showed up and talked through the ENTIRE SECOND SONG (also a cover that I don’t remember)#and I was like well if he keeps doing this after the second song then I’m gonna tell him to be quiet#BUT THEN THEY LEFT AFTER THE SECOND SONG AND I WAS LIKE 🧍🏻♀️#but then I was like … well that’s the best view I’ve ever had seeing GVF so at least there’s that#anyway I haven’t listened to the boys in a hot minute but I might have to jam out on the way to church idk!#after that I had a different dream that I flew to Texas with my friend and I wanted to go to the American Girl store so I did and he left me#behind and got another flight without me KDHSJSKA ?!????#I had a lot of random and vivid dreams last night lmao#anywho…. love yall miss yall !!!!#life is finally calming down a bit but my depression is also starting to rear its ugly head again so WOMP#u win some u lose some
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#There's something about that that's kinda cute but also mostly hilarious#he's like a cat. man is *not* getting the attention he needs scratching up the furniture is the only answer#also side note do think its a bit strange outlaw wasnt mentioned At All here#unless i just missed it but idk. like they talked about 'One' Ty giving him attention#and they talked about Experiments which id think theyd suspect he had something to do with and not Strictly Tex doing it#anyways. i know he's probably just not mentioned cause he ain't really relevant but its interesting to think about regardless so#Alternative Timeline where this alls just what happens when Tex doesn't have Outlaw to pay attention to him lmao#w.bg#woe.begone#w.bg spoilers#woe.begone spoilers#w.bg tex
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「 @universestreasures | Serena」 issued a challenge:
Serena was a hard worker. Of her siblings, she pushes herself the most often and with the most incredible intensity. Her training were constant, usually taking place late at night following a long day of insufferable lessons or outings with her forced betrothed. By all means she should rest, but she can't afford to if she was to break free of this hell hole. One such evening, she finds herself sparing again with Yuri, who had become a constant in her training due to her father's interference. However, he did serve some use as a sparing partner and a person for her to vent out her frustrations to. If he has to stick around, might as well have a purpose. After once again managing to pin him to a wall, with sweat dripping down her face, Serena suddenly feels her body turn off. Seems like her exhaustion from the long day and hours of training had finally caught up to her, and her body fell unconscious right onto the retainer's suited form. (Nobles To Yuri. Let's see Yuri Disney Fastplay LMFAO)
On most nights Yuri didn't mind this. He quite enjoyed playing this game with her, actually; one where he could watch her face twist in frustration everytime she failed to put him down in a timely manner. He'd often throw her a bone, allowing her some advantage before turning it around on her in some way, shape or form. Mostly in the verbal sense as she was fairly easy to irritate. Unfortunately, to him at least, in their dynamic it was the only power he currently held over her.
Like this, stuck in this...skin suit, he'd call it, she could overpower him in the physical sense. But Yuri had ways to remind her that his word, and by proxy, the word of her father was far stronger than her will to run him through and be done with this obligation of hers.
But it would seem that tonight even Yuri was reaching his limit though, as evident of his movements starting to lack the usual enthusiasm he reserved for these sessions. He almost didn't even try when Serena caught him slacking--
The force of his back hitting the wall so suddenly was more than enough to rattle this frail form of his, much to his annoyance. Compared to his kin though; Yuri was not one to complain needlessly.
❝ ...This has gone on quite long enough, hasn't it? ❞
As much as Yuri would looooooooove to spend all his nights having the girl chase him around with her teeth bared, he was beginning to become irate with it. It was the same song and dance each night now, and it was starting to bore him. And honestly, he'd rather be tending to his propagation operations. The manor was all sorts of dull and stuffy, and it was solely on him to spruce the place up a bit using his talents. At this rate all the plants he had painstakingly nurtured thus far would dry out and die off before Serena would go to bed.
How funny it truly was though, the tables turning as they were.
That's when all the power behind her hold all but vanished, and soon enough the only thing keeping him against the wall now was the weight of Serena's body collapsed against his own.
Oh...
....Huh.
He was starting to think it wasn't going to work-- The thought tickled him in such a way a light chuckle escaped him as he moved an arm under her own to keep her from slipping out from him and onto the floor. Wouldn't want to wake her up now.
❝ That took a lot longer to build up in your system than I thought. ❞
Really, she should know better by now to think he'd play their game fairly.
Once he was sure he had secured his hold on her, he frees his other arm out from under her. He lifts a finger, revealing the perfectly manicured nail had been sharpened to a fine point. A quick glance and it was easy to miss how it had been the only one shaped in such a way, as if on purpose. It was then he brushes the loose strands of her ponytail aside to reveal the nape of her neck before lightly grazing the claw-like nail across her skin-- One of many thin scratches he had managed to tag her with over the course of their fight.
Dripping from the line he drew was a substance far too light in color to be blood... The beautiful pink hue was Yuri's own design, of course. A poison he had developed specifically for Serena and her recent problem.
She surely wouldn't take kindly to the idea of him poisoning her into taking a nap though, so he had kept it subtle by keeping the doses small and building it up over time.
And of course, this was by no means the poison he personally produced. He was still saving that one for the day Serena accepted his loyalty to her. This was just a simple sleep-aid derived from one of the many gardens he had helped to maintain in his time here. He's sure she'll come to appreciate the many things he brings to her table, but in the mean time he'll be sure to appreciate the silence the rest of the night should now bring.
After bestowing the last of his gift to his mistress he'll move to toss her unceremoniously up and over his shoulder. Had he not been her retainer this would make for a quite a scene, but considering his position and Serena's own nature he's sure no one would bother with them as he takes the long way back to her chambers. He had to check on all his precious little sprouts on the way, of course. It helped that the hour was so late though, fortunately for her there shouldn't be any in the halls to witness the scene anyway despite how entertaining it might've been.
❝ Take a nice long rest, princess. Your strikes were really rather weak today, I'll have to report as much to your father, you know? ❞ -
#.//yuri really said NYQUIL ATTACK GO#IT’S MY SHOW「ic」#QUERY「asks」#BOTANICAL NIGHTMARE「Yuuri」#VERSE.// DRAGONIC RETAINERS#universestreasures#FUSION’S LUNAR DANSEUSE「universestreasures | Serena」#tw poison#tw drugging#.//these tws gonna be so confusing if u read them first lmao#.//but they also kinda just. are so expected from yuri LMAOOOOOOOOO#.//AND YEAH. HE'S JUSTIFIED HIMSELF BY THINKING "WELL.... IT'S NOT /MY/ POISON THAT SHE DIDN'T AGREE TOO YET IT'S A DIFFERENT ONE!!!!!!!#.//SO IT'S FINE!!!!!!#.//yuri truly missing his calling as an apothecary in this life lmaooo#.//i swear this was half this size when i first drafted it idk what happened#tw long post#.//yuri poisoning ppl so willy nilly isn't gonna look good for u once ur on trial for suspected poisoning ppl tho LOL#.//i forgor how to read at some point during this so good luck i hope it reads halfway decent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This is super random, but I've recently been watching more German movies (I really enjoyed the performances of some Downfall actors and wanted to see some of their other works), and like what the hell is it with 2000s German movies that there's way too often one entirely random scene with someone having their bare ass out😭😂
Of course it doesn't happen in every movie but still often enough that it's somehow noticeable? I'm not sure if it's more of a time or a country dependent thing, but at least in my perception I just don't feel like this occurs as often in more recent movies and series especially in those from the US (like, I feel I'd have noticed if it did because I'd probably be lowkey annoyed by it😂)
#or maybe the things I tend to be interested are just more targeted at all ages that's why I rarely don't come across it usually idk#I mean in some instances it it's actually sorta plot relevant (like in the final scenes of Napola for example) but in others it's so random#and I'm like ... couldn't you just have lifted the camera angle a couple degrees so we only see that guy from the waist up?#I just feel a little bad for the actors tbh😅 esp in those unnecessary scenes. I mean I guess they knew what they signed up for but still#this is all meant to be /lh to be clear - for the most part I find this literally just hilarious because it's such a random thing#not sure if my asexuality has to do with my perception either. I find it silly and roll my eyes at it but I'm not genuinely bothered by it#but aside from that watching movies because of specific actors can actually be kinda funny#because it makes you take a look at media you'd never have considered otherwise (which can be hit or miss)#like for example now I've watched some of the most random movies ever just because Justus von Dohnányi is in them#(<- he has my recommendation btw. not all of them were even good but I think he's genuinely fun to watch and also kinda adorable tbh)#it's also funny when you watch sth because of one actor and then another one you remember from elsewhere just randomly appears there too#like once I was like 'hey isn't that the guy who played Hewel in Downfall? oh and the one who played that one drunk guy is here too lol'#also idk why but I feel like Thomas Kretschmann is somehow everywhere lmao#I mean it's probably bc he's in a lot of international productions too but still. tbf he doesn't look bad at all#those two and André Hennicke are generally the ones I'm most interested in. maybe Rolf Kanies too#but tbh I feel like he just hasn't been in as many things? idk why though he was so good in Downfall#anyway I think I'm yapping way too much. I just like watching things and talking about them#and seeing actors having fun with their job while also being good at it is just really cool tbh#selnia talks
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The constant struggle of needing to continue my trimax reread so I can get working on the next ITNL chapter vs the wish to keep playing stardew valley
I started this new game not even a week ago but I'm midway thru the first fall and already married to Sebastian. And so it goes 😂
#speculation nation#im naming all my farm animals after trigun characters. vash and wolfwood are chickens.#milly and meryl are cows. and i just got 2 ducks that i named livio and razlo.#AND im gonna name my dinosaur zazie. bc it just makes sense.#thinking of making midvalley and hoppered goats. elendira & dominique as sheep.#sheryl and lina as rabbits. probably kaite too. hell lets make all the kids rabbits#idk who im gonna do for the pigs. it feels a little mean given the connotation of calling someone a pig.#might break the trigun streak and name my pigs after shrek and fiona. as i have in previous games.#who am i missing. luida as a sheep. brad as a goat. omg knives as a void chicken.#I SHOULDVE NAMED MY HORSE REM!!!! oh well too late. i named my horse after my horse-coded oc Lana#and my cat is named Sammy. after my special orange boy 🥺🥺🥺#fuck who are the other ghgs. omg monev would work as a pig actually. big guy.#then theres e.g.mine. kinda wanna ignore him bc his name's stupid.#i dont want an animal named e.g.mine 😭😭😭😭#omfg rai-dei. what the fuck should rai-dei be. none of the animals feel like a rai-dei. maybe i'll make him a duck.#theres leonof... ugh. i dont want a leonof. or a ninelives. fuck those guys.#oh my god how could i almost forget legato??? maybe i'll make him a 2nd void chicken. OH WAIT NO#HE COULD BE ONE OF THOSE BLUE CHICKENS!!! THATS PERFECT!!!!#idk im still working on upgrading my barn and coop so this isnt happening in full for a while still#but i am Thinking About It........#u can see how well my manga reading is going lmao. oh well. at least im having fun.
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#lately this site has been really fucking w my self image#I know sometimes I go through phases here#but idk this one feels kinda different#my sense of self has been kinda fucked up w my new job#I feel like I get on here and immediately start comparing#which is silly bc all the people I follow or reblog from are amazing#I love supporting their posts#it’s not competition#the best words for it are insecure and inadequate#but my self image and self worth plummeted recently#idk all I can think about sometimes is what I’m not#I get stuck in a spiral of telling myself I’m not enough#I have a hard time pulling myself out of that though#and god fucking knows I’m not gonna ask anyone near me for reassurance lmao#I really miss when this place was my outlet rather than another source of stress#I’m just so ready to not exist anymore#personal
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i forgot what a pain in the ass modding dragon age inquisition is dfjgjdfkghdfg
#the hair + tool i need to change hair color + skin complexion i want to use are all incompatible with each other apparently lmao#im trying to make valerie btw#normally i dont like unnatural hair colors in fantasy settings but im making an exception for the bb#wanna do a CP77/DA crossover#starting to think i might have better luck just learning to port stuff from DAI into CP77#i miss goro anyway#no one in inquisition comes close to goro#but tbh i feel like i kinda need a break from being in CP77 rn now too#cant believe i'm returning to dragon age of all things to find a reprieve from fandom fatigue lmao#2015 wench is fainting from shock#idk maybe i'll try DAO or DA2 instead#i don't really want to *play* DAI#hmmmmm#t: wench.txt
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man.
something midosena never prepared me for was just how comfortable the train seats are
#like. no joke. most (if not all) of them are soft!!!! carpeted!!!!! and comfy!!!!!!!!#and that’s just the regular seats!!!!! the special reserved seats are forward facing and!!!! they even have those little seat tray tables!!!#[insert home country]’s train seats are ruined for me now wtf i used to think that the wide new plastic seats were the best seats ever and—#and the structure of the train is p. great too ngl~~~~ like the seats are positioned a little ways back from the side divider thing#so there’s tons of standing space if you’re unlucky enough to not get a seat#but maybe that’s just my perspective bc the train cabins seem wider than [insert country]’s so maybe i’m too used to the cramped cabins idk#but g o d yes i understand you now midori the seat at the extreme end is the best most comfy seat ever fr#though!!!! another thing that made me 👁️👄👁️ about these trains is that!!!! eating and drinking (on trains) is not prohibited?????#like man. you’d get fined and get photographed + tabloidified in [insert country] if you did that here..#(if you get caught by some weird nitpicker who can’t mind their own business that is.)#but train exchanges are kinda complicated. ye a h. ig that’s one thing i miss about [insert country]’s trains. aside from the train fares.#m a n. train fares are so high here. bus fares too tbh. 170 yen for just two stops and all that..#but!!!! the seats are comfy so they get a pass from me~~~~~~~~~#the buses are tiny and cute thoughhhhh. but the boarding/alighting/fare system caught me off guard. ig i’m too spoiled by [insert country]#all things considered…. it was a really fun trip~~~~~ would’ve been better if i didn’t fall sick right off the bat though lmao#anyways!!!!!! happy kinyoubi my dudes~~~~~~~#inedible blubbering
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it feels mean when u realise tht certain ppl just aren’t adding anything positive to ur life, n tht they just make u feel anxious, on edge, confused and under appreciated… but i feel like im starting to listen to my gut to whose presence makes me feel safe, heard, loved and appreciated
#i don’t rlly wanna be friends w ppl who make me feel needy and annoying and unloved#not saying tht i should rely on others to make me feel happy or whatever#but there are ppl in my life where i don’t feel this uncertainty and discomfort#one of the friends deeply hurt my feelings and I cut them out for a while and then we became ‘friends’ again#bc i did miss having them in my life and it was v intense#but i also feel like im not rlly interested in being close w them anymore#like tht hurt never went away#n now i don’t rlly feel like i rlly care abt them tbh#despite the fact we’re supposed to be friends#i think i lost respect and compassion for them lol i don’t view them the same way as i used to#and the other friend were not close to begin w they’re friends w the friend i fell out w#but they make me feel anxious and don’t seem interested in acc being friends w me#but message my friend tht i introduced to them a lot so idk#they kinda give fake energy tbh and i don’t rlly feel comfortable being around them#which is fine bc we don’t hang out anyway lmao#but sometimes they’ll pop up on stories ive posted#n i feel like i just gotta fake it#i cba communicating it bc it always leads to conflict#so im probs just gonna let it drift#i do feel like i have a habit of wanting to cut friends out tho#bc i feel 50/50 w ppl a lot#some ppl i feel a safe connection w#others leave me feeling confused and on edge#so i think my gut is tryna tell me tht im just not comfortable#and when i spoke to a therapist ages ago abt this they told me to listen to my gut and be wary of who I’m friends w#but bc i also have abandonment issues etc I never know whether I’m being too sensitive and my trauma is driving the wheel#or whether deep down this is how i feel#it’s hard to trust ur gut when ur traumatised bc it can be rlly wrong#journal
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literally why the hell am i always so anxious to call out of work
#marine myths rambles#like... worst that could happen is they fire me for calling out too much. but then i get to find a new job (is not too fond of current job)#(mostly bc of how the higher ups treat their employees. i actually quite like most of my coworkers n the actual work isnt tht bad sometimes)#(i just think the owners dont fkn know how to properly compensate or take care of their employees. its kinda wack. anyways.)#i guess i just need more ways to say tht i cant come into work bc i feel like im repetitive#literally as i was typing the last tag i got a message asking abt when i can make up the hours. like...#i offered a day tht works for me but apparently not for them bc its too many hrs for me in one week?? idk but im just like.#what do u want me to say. im already working extra days bc i was asked to. n u want me to make up the hrs im missing??? huh???#imagine if i quit rn. (i wouldnt bc id rather have another job lined up before leaving my current job if possible. but the thought is There)#anyways off topic as all hell but im thinking abt changing my url should i just do it n not say anything? would anyone care even?? lmao#would love to hear any thoughts and opinions (abt both the url and my work sitch if uve got em tbh)
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