#my sense of self has been kinda fucked up w my new job

[singedbutter]

.

[throwingmuses]

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii its been Quite a minute since i last postd huh . nothing serious going on 2 worry about thankfully im just uhhh Starting to think that we were Not built to endure thhe 40-hour work week ? But what the fuck ever i guess we ummmmm adapt!!!!!!!*grins nicely*

(""life update"" undr the cut for the freaks who r into tht kinda thing ...)

SO the new job has actually been going pretty good so far. Well as good as working any minimum wage job can be of course but it s certainly been a real decent gig regardless. surprisingly enjoyable at times even which is Huge. Definitely muchhhhhh better than evry single one of my previous jobs LOL. most difficult thing about it hasnt even rlly been related to the job itself but moreso the fact that this is the first time in FOUR whole ass years that ive like uhhh actually worked in the traditional sense i guess ? not 2 mention the other fact Which is that this is also the first time in my lyfe that i am workin full-time w/ an actually consistent schedule instead of like the spotty ""part time"" retail/restaurant shifts im used to having to put up with Oh also i work 10 hr shifts 4days in a row now so uhhhhhhh yeah theres been a lottt of adjusting ive needed to do lately To Say The Fucking Least 😀 on top that of course theres always 10millionbillion things that are demanding the money i hvnt even been paid yet beCause payroll has been a nightmare And also my psychiatrist turned into a total flake and general jackass out of literally nowhere so i gotta find a new one of those uhhh pretty soon actually LOL but i guess considering evrything that has rapidly changed in like every single area of my life recently i think ive actually been coping alright. or at least MUCH better than i hav in the past jesus fucking christtttttttttttt. mostly just been having a lot of sobbing fits and smoking a lot of pot but like whats new there right. so i would say thats pretty good given my track record :]

luckily my job does not require much if any real socializing as like a job duty or anything (THANK FUCKING GOD) But especially aftr spending a verrrrrryyyyyy long time isolating and essentially imprisoning myself in my home due 2 xtremely awful agoraphobia in conjunction with the fact of just like being Visibly Mentally Unwell and having to just embrace that as apart of who i am or whatever Any and every interaction i have with any other given person @ work makes me feel totally & completely socially maladjusted and PAINFULLY awkward and pathetic....... But at least im becoming more comfortable w/ the concept of being or at least being seen as a bumbling little freak and just feel like ive been coming back in2 myself finally once again and figuring out what all of that shit means now. the haze ive been kindof stuck in for several years by now has been clearing more and more as the days go on and im finding that im starting 2 move on from a lot of different things without even rlly intending to. ive just been generally letting go en masse but this time not in the self - destructive fashion. its nice to be able to say that and to finally have that previously unimaginable inverse experience where u encounter those things that typically rocket U up to neurotic levels of distress only 2 find yourself reacting to them as if u had never or had even entirely forgotten that you were ever tormented by those things in the 1st place . literally fucking unimaginable to me And yet somehow it just likeee happens. whut the fuck. But i dont really need or want to understand it cuz im just happy to b able to objectively say tht my life is getting better. also a previously unimaginable concept to me but one thats been seeming more and more plausible somehow despite all of the bullshit yknow?

ANYWAYS all that being said i also wanted 2 mention that over the next few days i will finally be able to go thru my inbox and share all the fundraisers ive been asked to share here since i am actually not busy as balls for a bit (For Fucking Once), but since theres quite a few ill be queueing them to post over the span of the next couple days or so to make sure they can be seen by more people!!!

okay thnx for reading(/glacing at) all of this love U now back to my typical bullshit

[danepopfrippery]

All of it so good! I spotted the freddie writers i think broken up in a few credits (theyre freelance so makes sense). Clearly death threats worked…dont learn from that.

If somehow ur reading and dont get spoilers coming well they are so its on u at this point. Random thoughts below

*Loved Derek’s fashion choices! Also his lil bat jazz hands flourish srsly a+.

*Nandor…incorrectly…thinking its Guillermo’s bday and throwing him a dinner and buying him a gift was very sweet…despite being book ended between insults about never turning him and Nandor not seeming too worried if he died

*my sis and i clocked right away how he wouldnt let guillermo sit next to him at guillermos special fake bday dinner. Nandor u ho. U make him reas u bedtime stories AND brush ur hair but wont sir next to him cuz horny? I refuse to believe any other reason

*WHERE IS THE HELL HOUND?! I MUST HAVE THE HELL HOUND! And i will be angrier than freddie ep if hes gone.

*is it weird Guillermo went to you…gene and the sire for turning advice after learning its forbidden? Also im choosing to believe this is a new superstition cuz they didnt seem arsed by it

*rip neighbor dude. Ppl are right its plot holey look its still the freddie writers in there ok?!

*sooo much bad turning in these two eps it was srsly keystone cops style and i was laughing my ass off despite being like derek irl

*nadja u bitch. Making nadjita dance and show her pussy is MEAN! You drunken slut. I dis enjoy taint that can write checks tho

*another plothole: it always seemed nandor was as shit at laszlo as hypnosis and i always took it of all 3 he was the worst (nadja the best). Animal control anyone? Well now he gets to be a pig amongst guinea pigs he’ll brag of this forever

*’cuz his brains fucked’ had me rolling. Also laszlo u liar u hypnotized him when trying to kiss him got u nowhere

*i was off my face w drug blood was also a good line

*colin didnt do much here but his waiter job and greek bit were great

*i am glad despite pussy showing nadjita has more movement finally

*laszlo has no god damned right to look that tasty

*the shit and fart jokes were mostly flat. I was waiting for laszlo to say he thought guillermo was hitting on him or something. That said seems we get jealous nandor next week and thats all i want

*poor guide, poor sean. Mikey u cunt

*the quebecois thing delighted my sis who studied there (france ppl hate ice right? But $8 wine is primo so u know)

*poor guillermo. Hes clearly a slayer vamp hybrid and very sad about it. Cant wait to see Nandor learn this. Also u will never convince me he could kill guillermo. Other than his eyes watering Guillermo has beat his ass like a rented mule twice now. Cheating or not (i say not)

*seems death threats also made note of make nandor better cuz hes followed a hippy self help book. Its kinda sweet cuz thats where his minimal kindness to guillermo comes from. I dont believe he ever through benji a bday dinner let alone convinced the others to come along

*colin seems aware hes been out of the job game for awhile but makes no indication if he knows why. Laszlo treats him basically same as always and vice versa

[holydivers]

talking about my tavs bc i can

ok so soleil is kinda boring bc my first character in an rpg always is <3 it's fine he's a circle of spores druid mephistopheles tiefling which was entirely a coincidence bc i had no clue what the plot was going in. he was very gung-ho about uniting everyone in the grove but mostly everyone hated him. oh well

soleil's a rather city-faring druid, he enjoys nature even amidst the bustle of the city and appreciates weird shit like random mold in alleyways and decay. he also likes hanging out in nature as well, and is a guild artisan cartographer. also brews a mean potion. his parents were probably merchants or something

he's the kind of guy who was sure that gale was scamming him by wanting magic items but gave him the items without any hesitation with the hope that gale would be moved by the goodness of his heart and reform his ways. he keeps letting villains go because he believes in their inherent capacity for goodness and it backfires most of the time. he KNOWS they're gonna betray him but he's ok with it. he's good but kinda chill in a weird way. like he's a little too comfortable with the whole shar-worshipping thing and his reaction to "hey let's take over this evil cult" is "dude...the logistics". it's probably fine. don't worry about it.

he tried to romance wyll but i failed the dice roll and didn't save scum. in-universe i justify this with the fact that wyll just wasn't in the party much so they didn't get super close. i also avoided romancing karlach bc i was waiting for the then-rumored new better ending for her which has since appeared. and then lae'zel completely unprompted was like "btw i will NOT fuck you" so i did not have the typical Horny Party experience with my first playthrough lmao

eventually he ended up romancing astarion. they are both incredibly annoying to everyone both together and apart.

the biggest tragedy is that i somehow completely missed the owlbear and her cub in his playthrough. rip he would've loved having an owlbear friend

xun'e, should've been seldarine drow but i fucked up and made her lolthsworn but w/e, archfey warlock

xun'e was a capable but unremarkable soldier from a lesser drow family. with little ambition, she made no moves to advance her station, only trying to keep her head down and survive. after a surface raid gone wrong, she ended as the only survivor...once she'd finished off the remainder of her wounded sisters-in-arms to prevent them from reporting her as she finally fled the underdark. she caught the attention of hyrsam, who became her patron, granting her abilities allowing her to live on the surface. mostly, she's gotten work doing odd jobs or working as a bodyguard.

xun'e is disciplined, straight-laced, and self-sufficient. she's kind but not particularly nice, with a sense of realism that keeps her from reckless feats of derring-do, and the willingness to make the hard decisions. people tend to find her intimidating, which she uses to her advantage, and most people don't realize just how much she's bluffing. has a bad tendency to overuse detect thoughts on others out of an overabundance of caution, though she's been making a point not to use the tadpole's abilities on her own party

unfortunately drow are so cartoonishly evil her backstory doesn't really have the emotional impact i want it to since drow backstabbing each other is just A Tuesday. it weighs on her though

though they helped with the goblin attack on the grove xun'e decided it was wise to avoid the grove, so the party ended up skirting around it and found karlach before wyll

before she ever came to the surface xun'e knew that people described the underdark as dark and quiet, and thought it was absurd - there was so much color, noise, light! but on the surface for the first time, she realized what a breadth of experience there was that she had no reference for, that she never could've imagined, beautiful even as it's painful and blinding. this is kind of how karlach makes her feel - like she couldn't have realized how emotionally repressed she was until she saw how utterly alive and exuberant karlach was. as soon as karlach exulted over her freedom after they defeated the false paladins, it was basically over for xun'e

wyll eventually showed up at camp hunting for karlach and nearly got his shit wrecked but things de-escalated and he ended up joining the party. between coming after karlach and the fact that he's so into the Daring Hero shtick xun'e was quite irritated with him at first, but eventually his competence spoke for itself and she grew to respect him more.

shadowheart's religious devotion reminds her of lolth worship and annoys her, as does lae'zel's, though she respects the latter more for her straightforwardness. she sees gale as pathetic and overly-emotional, but in a "well he's a man what do you expect" way. she views astarion as something like an annoying but sometimes amusing dog. honestly she respects barcus wroot more than most of her own actual party but they're growing on her. ("it's awful work. especially to me. especially if it's you. i'll fucking do it but christ alive")

karlach's fondness for everyone helps, and karlach makes her want to be a better person

sway by the heartless bastards is a song i associate with her (and witchy poo by the same band w/ karlach)

by contrast i think she's kind of an anchor for karlach - solid, patient, supportive, and adoring even if it's in a quieter way than karlach. also karlach calls her sunny :)

juniper. they/them. half-wood elf, hunter ranger, folk hero background

as a young adult, the small village where juniper lived was caught in the crossfires of a war between local lords. an upstart wizard was sent, ostensibly to enforce the extraction of taxes for the war effort, but more realistically just to get him out of the way. the wizard flexed his burgeoning enchanter abilities by terrorizing the locals, harassing people and seizing resources at his whims. juniper used their hunting skills to help provide game to feed the village, organizing the sharing of resources while avoiding the eyes of the intruding wizard. eventually they helped end the menace by being strategically "caught" smuggling torpor-poisoned wine which was seized.

juniper is reserved and analytical, but soft-hearted. they try to prepare for any contingency and hate being unprepared. they're incredibly wary of magic, especially anything that influences the mind or emotions. they enjoy helping others, but are used to their own small community and can have difficulty with crowds and strangers. they dislike the ambitious, the power-hungry, and the rich.

they were raised by their human father in a human village, with their elf mother having left when they were too young to remember, and still haven't really come to terms with their lifespan or elfiness

they immediately dislike gale and astarion, which gets worse once they find out their Big Secrets. gale eventually grows on them as they realize that he's generally good-natured, though they're quick to shut down his more grandiose wizard-talk. juniper is very wary of astarion, though he has a degree of sympathy after learning about his past.

juniper likes wyll at first, especially compared to the attitudes of the rest of his companions, as he isn't just talk and is clearly committed to helping people. they balk a bit learning that he's a warlock, and again when learning that he's the son of the duke, but see his goodness and is quickly determined to do what they can to thwart mizora.

they respect lae'zel's practicality, and hope to encourage her towards nurturing weakness rather than crushing it, but acknowledges that she's surprisingly tolerant despite all her talk. they enjoy telling her about life on faerun, and hearing about the astral plane

juniper failed their attempt to save shadowheart on the nautiloid, and it set them off on the wrong foot. juniper is really not a fan of the whole shar thing, and gives shadowheart a wide berth, though eventually they gain a camaraderie as it becomes apparent that her actions and feelings don't match her purported beliefs.

they like karlach, though she's a bit too high-energy for them.

they proooooooooobably will romance wyll. probably. we'll see!

[fairyfuyu]

glass in the park | hanagaki takemichi

summary: friends to lovers w loser michi, really sweet sappy shit that makes my heart go thump ....... also listen to glass in the park while reading this (or the enitre submarine ep by alex turner please i beg)

wc: 9k

cw: nsfw 18+, timeskip!takemichi, fem!reader, disgustingly sweet content that will literally give you cavities, 2 seconds of angst, use of pet name ‘baby,’ pussyjob, unprotected sex, praise kink if you squint, creampie, cockwarming but not really ? idk, vanilla sex thats really fuckin sweet and intimate im ;-; this is just really fucking sappy dont look at me

a/n: this is just another installment of my never ending saga into my consistent self indulgence and inability to write shit that i do not fantasize about on the daily. dont @ me. also, thank u @kazutoraloml and @tokyosghoul for betareading i want to make out intensely w u both (hye come join the dark side and become a michi fucker its fun over here i promise)

!!!!! mdni !!!!!

Takemichi didn’t know what the fuck he was doing with his life.

Here he was, 26 years old, working the same shitty job at the video store that he’s been working at since his college years, living a shitty life in a shitty apartment. Most days he walked through life on autopilot, not a care in the world for anyone, anything—not even himself. He’s completely lost any and all sense of what it meant to truly live, and for the longest time, he thought that this was really all he would ever accomplish. He had peaked in middle school and everything has just been downhill from there. Somehow, though, he managed to hold onto some shred of hope that there was more out there waiting for him. A better life to live. A better version of himself. Anything.

Takemichi was never really the relationship kinda guy. He had a girlfriend during his teen years, but that fizzled out as time went on and he never bothered to really try to get another girl. Too much work, he’d tell himself. Too much money wasted on dates. Too much anxiety about labels. Too much insecurity about his dick size—not that he had anything to hate himself over, but his girth alone had any girl he ever got with think twice when he managed to split them entirely open. He never wanted to hurt any of those girls, but he couldn’t help that he was gifted with such a fat cock.

Dick size aside, Takemichi just coasted through his life, making just enough money to get by and having plenty of down time to himself. Was it what he pictured when he was younger? Definitely not. Was he complaining? Maybe.

He stood in the partially empty video store, mind elsewhere as he searched the aisle glancing from the case in his hand then back up at the filled shelves. “Edward Scissorhands, The Evil Dead…” he mumbled to himself, pointer finger gliding along the various titles until he found the correct space for the movie in his hand. He let out a quiet click of his tongue once he found the correct place, wedging the copy of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in between copies of Escape from New York and Europa Report. At least he knew his alphabet, otherwise his work would be especially difficult.

Looking back down at the stack of DVDs on his cart that needed to be returned to their homes on the shelves, Takemichi glanced at the watch adorning his left wrist. Still an hour left until his shift ended. The little bell jingling at the entrance caught his attention; he whipped his head around to see you enter.

Shit, he whispered to himself, ducking his head back down, growing intensely shy at how attractive you were. A wave of self-consciousness washed over him as he pushed his cart to the back of the store, trying to avoid an awkward encounter with yet another pretty girl. It wasn’t everyday people like you came waltzing into the small video shop; the clientele mainly consisted of older people or young teens thinking it's cool to spend their days off perusing through dusty old shops like this, searching the shelves for any retro titles they’ve heard about.

He was the only employee on the floor right now, his manager was in her back office but in direct sight of him cowering behind a shelf. She called out to him.

“Hanagaki! Go help the customer; don’t act like you didn’t hear that damn bell ring.” She scolded, causing him to shudder.

He shut his eyes, trying not to focus on the lump that formed in his throat. Across the store, he saw you wandering around, mumbling incoherencies under your breath.

You trudged into the store, arms crossed and slightly irritated that your friend asked for such a thing in the first place. It was her birthday, so of course you felt guilty if you refused her request of having a movie night with a couple of your closest friends; you told her you would take the responsibility for finding the niche film she so desperately wanted to watch on this special occasion, but you didn’t expect your search to be so difficult. You started out with the chain stores, and when your hunt came up unsuccessful, you looked up a multitude of video shops in your area, even going to the lengths of calling them to see if they had your desired film in stock. Finally, an unsure voice confirmed that they did have a copy at the fourth store you contacted.

And so, this is how you ended up in the same store the ravenette worked at.

You glanced around, trying to look for someone to help you, but when you found no one, you just decided to take matters into your own hands and venture inwards, eyes scanning over the various titles.

Takemichi, still pushing his cart, came up behind you and nearly ran into you, his depth perception failing miserably due to his nerves. “Can I help you with anything, miss?”

His voice behind you startled you, causing you to jump a little. “Oh, you scared me there. I called earlier...about a movie called Paris, Texas?” You offered, readjusting the strap of your purse back over your shoulder.

Blue eyes widened at you; so you were the girl he talked to on the phone earlier. “Y-you must be ___ then?”

“That’s me!” You smiled at him, rocking onto the tips of your toes. “So...do you have it?”

Takemichi internally slapped himself in the face at not being smarter about this one; a normal employee would’ve pulled the title aside for a customer, but Takemichi is absolutely not a normal employee. He scratched the back of his head, turning on his heel and abandoning the cart, darting to the back of the store without saying a word. You cluelessly followed behind him.

“Uh…” he said, frantically scanning the shelves for the title. They’re in alphabetical order—why wasn’t he finding it?

Maybe he didn’t know his alphabet as well as he thought.

Dammit, he cursed in his head, she probably thinks you’re a dumbass now.

“Maybe I did pull it aside for you,” he thought aloud, heading towards the register to see if it was hidden beneath the countertop. He rummaged through the messy drawers, shifting papers aside with sweaty palms.

You continued your solo prowl, eyes immediately falling on the film in question. “Hey, I found it!” You called out to him, taking the case in your hands and meeting him back at the register.

His face now flushed at his shitty job he had done, a shaky hand took the DVD from you. “Sorry about that.”

“Oh it’s no problem.” You assured him, pulling out your wallet. “You seen it?”

He looked down at the movie. “I have, actually...for a class back in university. Wasn’t half bad.” He told you, ringing up your purchase.

You nodded your head. “Noted.”

The air between you stilled as he finished up at the register; you took the silent moment to study the man helping you. Dark hair, pretty blue eyes, awkward yet charming demeanor—dare you say you felt attracted to him somewhat. Your eyes travelled down to his nametag.

“Here you go, just bring it back by next Friday,” he said, catching your attention and holding a little brown bag with your DVD in it, as well as your receipt. “Hope you enjoy it.”

“Thanks, Takemichi.” You said, smiling warmly at him. “I hope I do too.”

He mirrored your smile, the blush coming back to his cheeks. Cute, you thought.

“Have a good one, ___.”

Takemichi hopelessly watched as you exited the shop, taking one quick look back at him before you disappeared amongst the busy sidewalk. He doesn’t know how long he stood there, staring at the glass door where he last saw you— - he was just brought out of his trance by his boss snapping her fingers in front of his face.

“Back to work, Hanagaki. Those DVDs aren’t gonna put themselves back on the shelves.”

That damn guy from the video store was right—you did end up enjoying the movie, much more than you expected. Your friend was beyond excited that you actually managed to find a copy of the film, showering you with kisses when you tossed the case down in front of her. Her birthday was a success, thanks to not only you, but the help of that guy from the video shop.

Takemichi, on the other hand, anxiously waited for you to make another appearance at the shop to return the movie. He came in early, clocked out late, and even found himself searching the shelves casually to see if you had come at a time when he wasn’t working to return the DVD; luckily for him, it was always missing from its place next to Paranormal Activity.

He tried not to get too one track minded, but his life was just so…lifeless, he couldn’t help but dwell on the little things. The way his coffee was particularly delicious this morning. The way the weather outside was so nice, he walked to work today.

The way your smile was the first thing he saw when his shift started today.

It was a Friday. A gorgeous Friday at that. You had a slow morning—your absolute favorite. Music played in the background of your tiny apartment, swaying your hips to the soft beat as you made yourself breakfast. A cup of hot tea steeped next to the stove, a couple candles lit nearby as well. You cracked the window open to let in some fresh air from the beautiful day awaiting you outside. It was truly splendid.

You eyed the DVD case sitting on the end table in your living room, reminding you that today was the last day you could return it.

Then, it hit you. The guy. Takemichi.

Maybe he’s working again today.

Turning the case over in your hands a couple times, you mulled over the decision of when you’d leave. Considering you didn’t work until later, you settled on leaving now, maybe picking up lunch while you were out.

You found your way to the subway, enjoying the beautiful day while you could before descending beneath the streets and clamoring onto a train full of strangers. A few minutes passed and you were in front of the video store, eyes staring at the drop-off box next to the front door.

He probably isn’t even here today, you thought, plus if there’s a drop-off out here, why even go in in the first place? Will it be obvious that you want to talk to him again if you go in?

Without another thought, your feet carried you between the double doors, hearing that same bell chime above you as you entered. Immediately, you saw his blue eyes over the tops of the shelves, flickering over towards the entrance and finding you there. You offered a smile at him, holding up a wave as a greeting.

She remembers me, he thought to himself, a light blush creeping across his face at the realization.

Before he could reach you, another man approached you, donning the same uniform as Takemichi. “Hi, how can I help you?”

You looked between the new person and Takemichi, seeing the latter direct his gaze at the floor shyly. Stepping away from the other employee, you politely declined his help. “Oh, I’m actually here to see Takemichi.” You briefly explained, pointing a thumb towards the boy at the back of the store.

The man’s eyebrows raised in surprise. There was no way a girl like you could be here to see Takemichi. Absolutely no way in hell.

You didn’t wait for a response from him as you strided down the aisle to the brunette, who still remained looking at the floor. He wasn’t even trying to look preoccupied with the DVDs he was in the middle of reorganizing.

“I hoped you were working today!” You told him truthfully, taking the movie out of your bag. “I came to return this.”

He instantly looked up at you; now you had his undivided attention. “You hoped I was working today?”

You shrugged in response. “I wanted to tell you how much I ended up liking the movie. It was much better than I was expecting.”

A toothy grin crossed his face. “I’m so glad you liked it!”

“Yeah, so...here you go.” You said, holding out the case to him.

He took it from your grasp hesitantly. “You know, there’s a drop-off box at the front of the store.”

You nodded back at him, sending him a knowing smile. “Yeah, I know.”

Tapping his fingers nervously against the case in his hands, Takemichi thought to himself about how to continue the conversation. He didn’t want you to leave just yet, and neither did you, quite honestly. “So...have any other fun plans for today?”

You suppressed the smile tugging at your lips from the boy continuing the conversation. “Not much. I have work later on which I’m not really looking forward to since I’m closing by myself.”

“Oh, where do you work?”

You told him the name of the cafe a little too quickly. “Its, uh, over on the east side, you probably haven’t ever—”

“Are you kidding? I love that place!”

He doesn’t love that place. In fact, he’s never been, nor even heard of the place ever in his life.

You beamed up at him. “Awesome! You should come sometime!”

He felt his palms go clammy at your question. You wanted him to come see you at work. No one’s ever said anything like that to him before, and it made his heart race more than he ever thought it would. “Y-yeah, for sure!”

The way he stumbled over his words, voice cracking ever so slightly with his simple reply had heat rising to your cheeks. You had no idea why or how the brief interactions you’ve had with him make you feel the way they do. Maybe its his kind eyes, or maybe its his genuine nature, how he doesn’t try to say impressive things or try and use a dumb pick up line on you like countless men have used on you in the past.

You quickly glanced down at your feet, then to the store’s exit. “Well, I’ll stop distracting you and let you get back to work. I hope to see you soon, Michi!” You hated how easily the nickname rolled off your tongue, instantly regretting your choice in words because shit, you barely know each other, why would you be calling an almost-stranger by a nickname?

Little did you know, your unwarranted use of the nickname had him weak at the knees. The only person he’s ever known to call him that was his mom, even still at 26. But the name that makes him cringe when spoken by his mother, had his stomach fluttering with butterflies when spoken by you.

“Soon you soon, ___. Promise.”

Hearing that he had remembered your name from a week ago, you smiled back at him over your shoulder, shooting him a small wave before you left the store.

As soon as you exited, he let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding the second you stepped foot in the shop. His coworker approached him, looking at the brunette and back at you through the window as you walked away.

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Hanagaki.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest and letting out a quiet, and somewhat jealous, scoff.

Takemichi fumbled with the case in his hand as he walked away. “S-She’s not my girlfriend.”

The balding man just clicked his tongue, shaking his head as he left his coworker to finish reorganizing the shelves, turning instead to greet the customers that just entered the building. “Hi, how can I help you?”

The second the clock struck 8, Takemichi bolted out of the shop, running down the street to get to his apartment as quickly as he possibly could. The sun was beginning to set, the glorious day finally leaving but filling its place, a brisk nighttime with the slightest breeze.

Throwing his front door open, he entered his musty apartment and sighed at its messy state. When would he ever find the time to go through all his shit and actually clean for once? He stepped over dirty clothes strewn all over the place to make his way to his bedroom, deciding that it would probably be in his (and your) best interest to take a shower.

Apparently he spent a little too long daydreaming underneath the steaming showerhead, because by the time he hopped out and searched his apartment for clean clothes, it was already pitch black outside. A glance at the clock on his stove confirmed that it was, in fact, already past 9 o’clock.

Takemichi’s heart fell through his ass upon the realization.

He knew that the coffee shop you worked at closed at 10, but he had no earthly idea how long it would take to get all the way there by subway. It was all the way on the other side of town, it would at least take half an hour, but that's only if he was lucky. And then, who knows how far the closest station is to the cafe.

Regardless of the time, he still threw his shoes on, tossed a jacket over his shoulders, and found himself standing on the platform, staring into his reflection in the subway’s window.

Maybe it's actually open till 11, and you just got the time wrong, he thought to himself. But, what if you’re right, and you get there after it's closed. She’s not gonna let you in, she barely knows who you are, dumbass.

A full fledged debate ensued in his mind during the entirety of his trip, only growing his anxiety. He kept checking, and double checking the stops to make sure he was on the right train, worried that he would miss his stop or wind up in the completely wrong side of town somehow.

But thankfully, the universe was on his side tonight, and the subway came to a screeching halt a couple blocks from the cafe you worked at.

And the clock had just struck 10.

His feet carried him up the stairs out of the subway station, along the sidewalks and down the couple more blocks it would take to reach the cafe. Incredibly out of breath and hair probably a mess as it bounced with every stride, he saw the dimly lit storefront, the sole figure in the center standing out in his vision.

You appeared to be swaying your hips, presumably to a song playing over the loudspeakers, mind completely elsewhere as you sang along and wiped down the counters. Although you hated having to do all the closing responsibilities by yourself, you also loved the time it gave you to yourself, allowing you to put on whatever music you wished and dance your heart away as you made the cafe look all nice and clean for the patrons in the morning. If you had to do all this work alone, you at least had to make it fun.

You executed a particularly impressive twirl, waving your cleaning rag in your hand when you caught sight of a looming figure in front of the locked entrance. The little scare made you jump, dropping the rag to the floor, but your heart rate settled almost as quickly as it stopped once you recognized who it was.

Takemichi had actually come.

Sure he was a little late, but you know what they say: better late than never.

You bent down and scooped up the rag, jogging over to the front door and unlocking it to let in your new friend.

You can call him that...right? A friend?

Regardless, Takemichi smiled down at you as you opened the door. “Hi there, sorry I’m a little late.”

“You’re totally fine.” You waved him off, placing a hand on your hip. You noticed his slightly disheveled appearance and unsteady breathing. “Did you...did you run here?”

“Sort of…” He laughed, scratching at the back of his head. “I lost track of time and came here as fast as I could. The subway took a little longer than expected and then it was still a few more blocks to get all the way here.”

Your eyes widened at his explanation. “You took the underground to get here? How far away do you live?”

He waved you off. “Just a couple blocks.”

“How many is a couple?”

He looked around, bashful at the truth. “Oh, 3, 4...maybe 40 blocks away. On the west side. But it’s totally fine! I enjoyed the ride” He told you with a smile.

Your jaw fell to the floor. “Michi, you did not have to come all the way out here just to see me. I’m not that special.”

He just shrugged his shoulders. “I wanted to, though. You came out not once but twice to the video shop. It’s only fair that I came out here.”

Feeling a surge of confidence wash over you, your teeth slightly bit into your bottom lip. “Well, if we’re talking about fairness, you still owe me a visit.” Your teasing caught him off guard, but he played it off pretty well. “Here, you wanna come in for a minute? I can make you tea or something. Gotta make your journey out here worthwhile.

You stepped aside to allow him to enter, immediately shutting the door and locking it once again. Takemichi looked around at the foreign cafe, admiring the cozy decor and potted plants littered throughout the space. “This place is cute.”

Making your way behind the counter, you arched a brow at him, picking up the way he looked around, obviously never having visited. “Thought you’ve been here before.”

He eased himself into a stool at the bar. “Yeah, guess I got the wrong place.”

You found his unconvincing lie endearing. “Sure…” You teased him, filling up the pot and placing it on the hotplate to boil.

“How long have you worked here?” He asked, twiddling his thumbs atop the clean bartop.

You hummed in thought, grabbing a mug from beneath the counter. “Little over two years maybe? Didn’t really think I’d be here that long, but here I am, 4 years out of university and making my full time job what should be a part time job for some college kid.”

Takemichi laughed at your statement. “Please, at least you aren’t working at a video rental store. Like anyone rents DVDs anymore.”

“Hey, I did that one time!”

“You’re the first person that’s actually rented anything in months!”

The two of you found yourselves laughing at the situation a little too hard. Before you forgot, you made sure to ask him what kind of tea he wanted, to which he replied ‘whatever your favorite was.’

Green tea with honey it is.

Placing the tea bag into the mug, you scooted it over his way. He graciously accepted it, blowing the steam away. “Y’know, I got a degree in business. Seemed like a good option at the time, but I don’t think I’m cut out for the corporate world.”

You leaned against the bar onto your elbows. “What makes you say that?”

“Seems too…corrupt.” He said, staring into his cup. “Probably gonna be stuck at this same stupid job until I’m 6 feet under.”

“Hey, don’t be like that.” You replied, “You can always just find a new job! One that you actually like.”

“See, that would be easy if I knew what I liked. Do you like your job?”

You chewed on the inside of your mouth. “Yeah, it’s not hard and I like interacting with the customers. But I never really went to college, either, so my choices in terms of careers are kinda limited.” Takemichi took a sip of his tea, mumbling a quick this is really good before he took another, eyes still trained on you, silently urging you to continue. Before continuing, you let out a sigh, resting your elbows on the counter in front of you. “I danced my whole life, and I was decently good at it. Good enough to make it my job. But I got injured a couple years back which ended that dream real quick. So, here I am.”

“I mean, from what I saw earlier, it looks like you still got it.” He joked, referring to you dancing while cleaning before you noticed Takemichi outside.

Letting out a laugh, you carelessly wiped the counter down. “Yeah, I guess I still do, huh?”

“Better than I ever could, I’ll tell you that much.”

“Come on, you just move to the beat. It’s not that hard.” You assured him, coming out from behind the counter, reaching out for his arm. “I’ll show you.”

He allowed you to pull him towards an open area in the cafe, though reluctant. “I-I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s okay, neither do I. Promise.”

Takemichi appreciated the evident lie you just told; it succeeded at making him slightly less insecure with his dancing skills, instead feeling a burst of gratitude at your gentle nature, actually wanting to interact with him.

The song playing on the loudspeaker ended, a new one immediately coming on. Recognizing it, he looked around. “Hey, I know this song!”

“Good, so it’ll be easy for you to dance then.” You said with a smile, dropping his hand out of your grip. You instantly started moving along to the beat of the music, encouraging your friend to follow your movements. “See? Not that bad, right?”

“I’m learning from the best.” He replied with a cheeky grin.

The two of you continued to dance to a multitude of songs, laughing and singing along to the ones you both knew until you were a mess of giggles. Even though you had just worked a full shift and it was nearing 11 already, being with Takemichi gave you a burst of energy. He was so fun to be around, and it felt like you had known each other for years from how easily you were able to talk with him.

Maybe you were best friends in another lifetime.

The current song coming to an end, you figured it was probably time for you both to call it a night. “As much as I would love to continue this, I do work again tomorrow and need to head home and get some sleep.”

Takemichi nodded understandingly. “Well, hey, I have off tomorrow so how about I come see you again, this time when you’re actually working.”

You smiled up at him in response. “I’d like that a lot.”

Since the tables had already been finished before Takemichi got here anyway, you just fled to the back room to grab your things, making sure to turn down all the lights and lock up once the two of you were outside.

“Did you drive here or-”

“Oh, my place is just a couple blocks away.” You told him, gesturing back down the street.

“Let me walk with you, then. It’s late.”

Your heart swelled at the kind gesture; while no guy you’ve been with in the past has offered to walk you home, Takemichi would be damned if he just walked away leaving you alone in the dark night all by yourself. He didn’t pretend that women have nothing to worry about when walking alone anywhere, unlike most guys his age.

The two of you walked down the dimly lit street, making casual conversation about how you both ended up here. You informed him you’ve lived here your whole life more or less, frequenting that same coffee shop you currently work at when you were younger. And he told you about how he came here for university and just stayed, never leaving his job at the video shop.

Before you knew it, you had reached your building, looking back at him and immediately pulling him into a warm hug. Having caught him off guard, it took a second for him to hug you back; he smiled at your head resting on his shoulder. “Thank you for walking with me.”

Falling out of the hug, he grabbed both your hands reassuringly. “Of course.”

You lingered for a moment before quickly leaning into him and pressing a chaste kiss to his left cheek. Grinning like an idiot, you turned around and opened the front door, shyly waving to him. “See you tomorrow, Michi.”

“Can’t wait.” He said breathlessly, face tingling at the innocent kiss you placed on his skin. He looked at the ground, feeling his face becoming unbearably hot all of a sudden, and smiled to himself before turning on his heel and heading towards the nearest metro.

Guys have really never impressed you. In your quarter of a century of life, the men in your life have always fallen short. Your dad was nowhere to be found growing up, your older brother ran away at 16, and any boyfriend just turned out to be an egotistical maniac that only cared about getting in your pants.

Honestly, you were getting to the point where you didn’t think you’d give guys a chance again. Dating always left you feeling disappointed in the end, plus, you were quite happy being on your own. You could go anywhere at any time, do anything and find joy through living rather than in other people.

When you were at your best, that’s when Takemichi showed up. He only added to your happiness.

Days talking with Michi turned into weeks, and now three months later, he’s become an integral part of your life. He would come visit your cafe on Saturdays (and maybe one other day a week if he was feeling extra kind), you visited him during his lunch break on Wednesdays before you went to work, and on Mondays the two of you spent the entire day together since you both conveniently had it off.

Actually, Takemichi normally had Saturdays and Tuesdays off, but instead of begging his manager for a raise, he begged her to trade schedules so he could spend the worst day of the week with the person he liked the most.

Those are just minor details he’d be too embarrassed for you to know.

Another minor detail is the label placed on your relationship; there wasn’t one. You two have shared the occasional kiss here and there, sure, but what really drew you to each other was just sharing quality time with one another. Even if you were doing nothing, you were still so happy to be around him.

It was a Friday. A cold, rainy Friday. You were closing by yourself again tonight, but that wasn’t what was bothering you at all. It was the fact that your manager, Rindou, was on your ass the entire day. He never shut his damn mouth, practically breathing down your neck watching the way you cleaned the espresso machine between orders - apparently incorrectly every single time.

You had no idea what his reason was for being such a dick today; sure, he was a bit on the temperamental side and overall, an annoying person to be around, but usually you could handle it. Today, though, it was bothering you worse than ever.

You were in the middle of making a round of lattes, measuring out the appropriate amount of espresso necessary before loading it into the machine, but for some reason the portafilter wasn’t locking in place properly. Taking it out and trying again, attempting to force it into position, Rindou came up behind you.

“It’s because you can’t take care of the machine the way it's supposed to.” He scolded, leaning against the counter beside you.

You scowled at him, trying again at the task. “No, it’s because this fucking thing is ancient. It's about time this place gets new equipment.” With one last push, it locked in place. You let out a sigh. “Finally.”

He scoffed at your success. “Stop blaming your shitty job on everything else. Ever since you got that boyfriend of yours, you’ve slacked off. Especially anytime he comes in; he just distracts the hell out of you.”

Boyfriend. The word rang in your ear incessantly, and you could feel your face heat up the second Rindou spoke it. If you weren’t as stressed out and irritated at Rindou’s remarks, you could’ve cracked the tiniest smile at the mere thought of boyfriend and Takemichi in the same context.

Rindou’s shrill voice brought you out of your head. “Where is lover boy anyways? He too busy to see you today?”

“Shut up, Rindou,” You took the two shots of espresso and quickly made the two lattes, still feeling the eyes of your boss burning into the side of your head.

He wasn’t satisfied with his damage just yet. “Seems like a shitty boyfriend to me if he can’t come visit his girl on his lunch break.”

“Would you stop saying that! He’s not my boyfriend, asshole.”

Turning around, you glanced down at the name on the cups; just as you were about to announce the names of the customers, your eyes fell on none other than Takemichi standing on the other side of the counter, hands timidly folded in front of him and completely soaked from head to toe. Clearly, he didn’t know it began to rain during his commute, nor was he at all prepared.

Your mouth hung agape at the sight of him. “Michi…”

He looked like he was about to say something, but couldn’t get any words out. Instead, he just turned on his heel and quickly fled the building. Your heart instantly dropped. Of course you just said that because of Rindou’s relentless comments about him, you didn’t mean it at all how it sounded. You wanted him to be your boyfriend, but the fact was you hadn’t had that conversation just yet.

But now, it seems you’ve fucked things up.

You immediately darted to the other side of the bar, but before you could get far, Rindou called out to you.

“If you leave right now, you’re fired.”

You stopped in your tracks for just a moment, looking back at his smirking face. It wasn’t even something you had to think about; you just rolled your eyes before taking off through the crowded shop, all eyes on you as you burst through the entrance out to the sidewalk, apparently just having lost your job.

You ran down the street, immediately seeing his drenched head of hair a couple blocks away. At this point, you could care less about the pouring rain around you. “Michi! Please, I need to talk to you.”

He didn’t stop walking, not even sending you a glance as he shouted back at you: “Why, so you can make sure I know I’m not your boyfriend?”

“You know that’s not what I wanna talk about.” You said, reaching out for his arm. He finally stopped, pressing his lips into a thin line and looking at you. Panting, your eyes searched his for any semblance of absolution, but you found none beneath his raindrop heavy eyelashes.

He just sighed as you grabbed his hand in yours, noticing how hot and clammy it was despite the cold rain. Poor Takemichi was so nervous right now, it's been ages since he found himself in the middle of a conversation like this.

“Before you say anything, I just want you to know that if I did anything to make you uncomfortable at all, I’m really sorry. I thought you liked me and everything…” You were about to speak up as he bit his lip, hesitating before allowing himself to speak his next thought. He spoke before you could. “I know you’re way out of my league and I didn’t even know why you would ever go for a guy like me. It was stupid for me to have even thought you liked me that way. It’s fucking stupid!” He laughed, pulling his hand away from you and running both hands through his soaked hair. Every word he spoke just made you feel worse and worse, shattering your heart one by one. “Here I was, living a shitty life, and then you showed up, and I actually believed I had a shot with you! How fucking pathetic is that! I used to dread waking up because of how shitty my life was, and now…” He took a breath, hands resting atop his head. “You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up every morning, and it makes me so damn happy.”

You took a step closer to him, grabbing his hands once more. “Michi, I-” The words got caught in your throat when you realized it. “I’ve never been good at relationships, Michi. Ever. I was never good at loving other people and trust and communication and all that shit but...I’ve never felt any way about another person the way I feel towards you. I think…” you swallowed thickly, “I think I love you, and that’s such a big scary thing for me to admit, but for some reason, it doesn’t feel as scary since it’s towards you.” The way your voice was shaking the slightest bit, so vulnerable, had Takemichi’s heartbeat extra strong. You didn’t even realize the small tears welling up in your eyes from how guilty you felt for what you had said back in the cafe. “I’m sorry for what I said, I promise you I didn’t mean it. It’s just, my boss is such an asshole and I was so stressed the whole day...and he kept pestering me with questions about you and saying how since seeing you, I’ve gotten worse at my job. I shouldn’t have said what I said because I didn’t mean it, truly. It just came out. I just get nervous whenever anyone else brings you up because I don’t know how to act, y’know?”

He knew you were dead serious with every word that you spoke, and the gaze the two of you held was enough to pull Takemichi closer to you. He brought a hand up to your chin, tilting your head up and connecting his lips to yours.

Despite the cold weather enveloping you two, the instant your lips collided, warmth surged throughout both your bodies. This kiss was unlike any you’ve shared before; they’ve always been innocent little pecks here and there, but never actually on the mouth like this. He kissed you with such passion, as if he’s been waiting for this his entire life. Maybe that was you projecting a little, since it was really you who has been waiting their entire life to have their ‘kiss me in the rain’ moment. And who better to share it with than the boy to whom you just professed you love?

Just as he slipped his tongue to explore your mouth with, he quickly pulled away. “Just in case it wasn’t obvious enough already, I think I’m in love with you too.”

You just shook your head and smiled, taking his hands once more. “Come home with me.” You said, pulling him in the direction of your apartment.

He easily allowed you to string him along. “Are you sure? What about your job?”

You waved a rogue hand. “Oh, Rindou said I was fired if I left to come after you so I took that as I have the rest of the day off.”

“Wait, what? He can’t do that.”

“Oh, I know. He’s just bluffing, the place is hurting for employees anyways. I’ll go in eventually and talk to him, but tonight? I’d much rather spend it with you.”

The two of you skipped down the sidewalk, chasing each other down the few short blocks to your apartment, laughing as you continued to get even more soaked from the pouring rain. This was the most free you’ve ever felt in your entire life, and you’d be damned if you didn’t chase after this feeling every second from here on out.

Finally reaching your apartment, you stumbled up the stairs and threw the front door open, kicking off your shoes (which were also now soaking wet).

Takemichi apprehensively waited in the open doorway. You noticed this, and immediately walked over to him and forced him inside, kicking the door shut behind him. He always did this any time he would come over; it wasn’t often, but the few times he’d join you for a late night conversation over tea, he always found himself questioning whether or not he was actually worthy enough to be in your home.

You quickly fled to your bathroom, grabbing two towels so you both could dry off some; as you emerged from behind the wall, towel already working into your hair, Takemichi gratefully took the towel you handed him.

“I meant it, y’know.” You said out of nowhere. “The whole, ‘I think I’m in love with you’ thing.”

He nodded, smiling to himself as he took a step closer to you. “I meant it too.” You bit back a smirk as his fingers found the bottom of your sopping sweatshirt. “Let’s get you out of these wet clothes, yeah? Don’t want you to catch a cold.”

His words caught you off guard, and quite honestly, they surprised Takemichi as well. He had no idea where this burst of confidence came from. But you weren’t complaining at all; you gladly held your arms up in the air with a grin, allowing him to lift the material up and over your head. He dropped it to the side, slumping onto the hardwood floor beneath your feet. Standing there in just your bra, you let your own hands travel to his sweater, tugging on it, silently asking for his permission. He wordlessly gave you the green light, nodding down at you.

He kept his eyes trained on the way the lace on your bra clung to the supple flesh of your breasts; you noticed, and gently slid a strap off your shoulder. “This okay?”

Takemichi stopped breathing. It wasn’t like this was the first time he’s seen a naked girl before, it's just...you do things to him.

He nodded once more, tongue darting out to wet his lips as you let the material fall to the ground, revealing your hard nipples from being so cold and wet. All the blood rushed straight to his cock at the sight of you before him; you took notice of how a pretty blush crept across his chest before you, smiling at your effect on him.

Seconds later and the two of you had successfully gotten rid of your bottoms in a frantic manner, leaving you both standing there in your underwear. Neither of you dared to allow your eyes to drift to the small areas that were still covered. Instead, Takemichi was actually the one to make the first move, surrendering any and all thoughts to exit his crowded mind. Head now completely empty, aside from the one thing he could never stop thinking about: you.

His right hand trailed along the side of your body, gentle fingers barely grazing over your curves, brushing against the side of your breast, running along your collarbone up to cup your cheek. “You are so beautiful.” He said, swiping his thumb along your bottom lip.

You parted your lips at his gesture, welcoming his thumb into your mouth and sucking on it, making sure to maintain eye contact with the dark headed boy. He let out the quietest whimper at your action, feeling his cock becoming impossibly harder by the second.

And his lips were on yours once more, hungrily working against yours for dominance, though you were letting him win. You wanted him to break out of his bashful tendencies and instead, allow himself to savor his feelings and emotions. You wanted to give him what he really wanted, what he had been dreaming about for who knows how many nights straight and what you have been craving at the latest hours of the night for longer than you’d care to admit. The two of you wanted nothing more than to lose yourselves in each other’s beings, melding into one.

And that was exactly what was going to happen.

He lifted you off the ground, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you to your bedroom. Having reached your mattress, he sat down on the end of your bed, keeping his hands on your ass and your legs wrapped around him.

You gave him a quick kiss, grinding your pussy down against his hard dick. “Aw, baby, you’re already so hard. How did that happen?”

“It’s your fuckin’ fault.” He mumbled against your lips, kneading the flesh of your ass with his large hands.

Leaning back, you looked into his eyes and smiled coyly. “Oh, is it now?”

“Mhm.” His droopy eyes completely shut as your two hands rest on either side of his face. You studied him, so pretty in the dark bedroom, damp curls atop his head and toned chest just inches away from yours.

You swung yourself off of him, standing up straight and pushing your hair out of your face. He looked at you standing before him as you hooked a finger around your bottoms, sliding the skimpy fabric down your legs and kicking them to the side. He continued looking into your eyes as you did so, but the minute your eyes drifted to his crotch, he allowed himself to gaze down at your naked form.

Capturing a lip between your teeth, you took back your position in Takemichi’s lap, placing your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as you dragged your dripping core against his stiff bulge. A shaky breath tumbled past his lips at the contact. “Fuck, ___. Please…”

You rose your hips off him for a fleeting moment while he shoved his briefs down the fat of his thighs just enough to let his aching cock out of its confines. He repositioned himself to lean back against your headboard, giving you the chance to get a good look at his member. Laying against his lower abdomen, his cock stared right back at you, bright pink and thicker than any you’ve ever had before. It had you practically drooling at the sight. You rest your hands back on his shoulders, grinding your slick folds against his dick, coating it in your arousal. He groaned, hands flying to your hips and drawing you back and forth against his cock.

As much as you loved humping him like this, you needed him inside you now; you slowly rocked into him once more, paying close attention to his cockhead and how it just barely dipped into your soaked hole. You gazed up at him with lust-filled eyes, pressing your lips against his.

You held the kiss, tongues continuing to move against one another eagerly as you lifted slightly up and positioned his tip exactly where it needed to be, before sinking down onto him. Feeling him split you right open, you squeezed your eyes shut at the slight discomfort that shot through your nerves with every inch you took. “Michiiii, you’re so big-” You whimpered, resting your forehead against his.

He dug his fingernails into your hips at how tight you were around him. “Shit, ___.”

You continued to ease yourself down onto his length, both of you mutually sighing once you took all of him, feeling the curve of your ass rest flush against his pelvis. Takemichi continued rubbing circles into your flesh as you adjusted to him, already panting and you haven’t even moved yet. “Just...give me two seconds…”

He just nodded, waiting patiently as you placed your hands on his chest, steadying yourself while rising up along his shaft and sinking back down on it. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the place where you connected. The lone fact that he was inside you was enough to make him cum; it truly was a miracle he didn’t cum on the spot the instant he entered you. Above him, you knitted your eyebrows together as you continued to slowly bounce on his cock, getting drunk on how well he filled you up.

“Fuck, ___, you feel so good around me,” He said, leaning away from the headboard and licking over your right nipple before sucking on it. His free hand found your other breast, groping it as he continued to kiss over your tender skin. He looked up at you, lips secured around your nipple, and your hazy eyes connected with his.

You smiled down at him, running a hand through his curls as you continued to rock your hips against his. The sensation of his wet kisses all over your chest drove you wild, serving as motivation to pick up your pace.

Once he was satisfied with the little lovebites he littered all over your chest, he laid back and pushed your hair out of your face. “So pretty...my pretty girl.”

“All yours, Michi,” You whimpered, feeling your thighs begin to burn.

Takemichi must’ve noticed your shift in stamina, because the next time you rose up along his cock, his hands found a home under your ass, holding you so he was able to thrust up into you. He couldn’t help himself; as much as he adored watching you fuck him, he couldn’t resist pounding his fat cock into your little pussy.

“Oh my fuck, Michi! Keep going…’M so close-” You moaned, falling against his chest and burying your face into the crook of his neck.

The next thing you knew, you were on your back with Takemichi above you, arms caging you underneath him and forehead pressed against yours. He kept rutting his dick into you mercilessly, the lewd sounds of skin slapping skin filling your tiny room. God, you were so wet, Takemichi couldn’t even believe it. Your pussy was heaven to him - he never wanted to leave this moment, but he could feel himself teetering dangerously close to the brink of his orgasm.

Taking your hands in his, he laced his fingers between yours and held them by the side of your face. “Fuck, I love you, ___.” He groaned, capturing your lips in another rushed kiss.

You cracked your eyes open, staring up into his, falling more and more in love with him as each second passed. “I love you baby. S-so much.” You panted, chest heaving with every thrust he gave you. “I’m…’m gonna cum,”

“Me too...where do you—fuck—where do you want me to cum?”

Clenching hard around his cock, you released a deep moan, feeling him in your stomach. “In me, cum inside me, please Michi.”

Takemichi didn’t need to be told twice. He pecked your lips sweetly. “Cum with me, love.” And so, you did, walls fluttering around his dick as his balls tightened, shooting his load deep into you. His hips stuttered as he continued filling you up with thick, hot ropes of cum.

He stilled himself, keeping his cock wedged between your folds as the two of you gasped for air, recovering from your powerful orgasms. You looked at one another with tired eyes, softly smiling before sharing an innocent kiss. He rested his head against yours once more. “I love you, ___.”

“I love you more, Michi.”

The next morning, you woke up to the gentle pitter patter of rain outside your bedroom, soft light streaming in through your curtains and two arms wrapped around your waist. You blinked your eyes open, adjusting to the light and waking up some more. Takemichi was out cold behind you, mouth hung open with quiet snores falling past his lips. You shifted a little in his grip so you were facing him, tossing one leg over his and snuggling into him further. “Wake up, Michi.” You whispered, kissing his nose.

His eyelids fluttered in response, mouth closing and inhaling deeply. “ ‘M awake.” He mumbled, eyes still shut.

“Come on, I’ll make you breakfast.” You said, moving to roll yourself out of bed.

But Takemichi moved quicker than you, pulling you in tighter to his chest and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Just five more minutes. You’re so warm.”

You hummed in reply. “Fine, five more minutes.”

“Did you sleep well, love?”

“Amazingly well. How about you?”

“Like a damn baby.” He replied with a light chuckle. “‘M kinda glad you got fired so you can stay here with me all day.”

You laughed at his statement. “We’re gonna have to get up eventually; besides, you have work tomorrow.”

He was silent for a moment. “I quit my job yesterday. That’s why I showed up at your work unannounced—I was gonna tell you there, but then, y’know...”

Your head shot up to look at him. “You quit your job?”

“Mhm, it felt right.” He said, pausing for a brief second. “Gotta find a job that makes me happy.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Looks like we’re both gonna have to look for new jobs then, huh?”

“Guess so.” He breathed, opening his eyes and gazing right down into your. “I have a feeling we’re both gonna be fine.”

You felt the exact same way. Right then, everything seemed to be just as it should be. It was gonna be you and Takemichi taking on the world from here on out. And that made you happier than you could ever imagine.

© 2021 honeyspalette. do no repost my copy, modify, or repost my work <3

tags: @chifuyuck @tokyosghoul @momobuns @toallmyhusbandos

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[iamanartichoke]

I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, but I may as well.

I keep starting to reply to things and then stopping bc the words just aren't there, and I suppose I figured out the core of what bothers me so much (and is making me have such a rollercoaster of a fan experience) about the show.

(cut for length)

It's not well-written. My opinion is my opinion, so I'm saying this subjectively, take it or leave it, but ... I feel that it's not well-written. The overall story is fine, and the plot is fine, but I don't know if it's because of the limited number of episodes not being enough to house the story, or because of the relative inexperience of the writer/showrunner+director, or both, or something else, but -

In an earlier reaction post to episode 4, I mentioned really wanting to sink my teeth into all of the subtext I picked up on. That was what made me initially enjoy the episode so much - there were a lot of little moments that I initially felt revealed so much about the characters and about Loki, and I wanted to analyze them. But at some point, as I gathered more information, my perspective changed and now I no longer want to analyze the subtext bc ... subtext = good. Subtext w/out payoff = not as good.

I'll go into more detail in a moment, but I think the tl;dr of it is that I feel like the narrative requires the audience to work way too hard to put together all of the moving pieces here and, like, I kinda just don't want to do that work? Not so much of it, and not in vain. A lot of the enjoyment of Loki's characterization is coming from fans who are rationalizing why he's behaving as he is, but the narrative never actually confirms those rationalizations. It's asking us to figure it out and maybe our conclusions will be correct but maybe they won't, though. At some point, subtext isn't enough without explicit follow-through.

I thought my issue was with the lack of character development - that is, not having enough narrative space to really earn the big things that are happening now, like Loki/Sylvie or Mobius turning against the TVA. And that's still true, to an extent; I still feel like the pacing is all very off and it seems like most of these things kinda came out of nowhere (but are not unbelievable - just undeveloped).

But, yknow, it is what it is, it's a limited series, and I can excuse some things. Ultimately, my issue isn't a problem with what the narrative isn't doing, it's a problem with what the narrative already failed to do and probably cannot recover from at this point.

The narrative has left out significant details that should at least help us do some of the work here. If a person turned on Loki and started episode 1 and had no background knowledge of the character besides that he tried to take over New York - how would that person interpret Loki? Would that person say, oh, well, he's been through X, Y, and Z, and plus A happened, not to mention B, C, and D, so really, it makes sense that he seems off-the-rails, or that he'd want to get ridiculously drunk at the worst time ever.

Maybe we'd like to believe they would, but how would they be getting to that conclusion? The narrative hasn't led them in that direction so, no, they would not say well we have to consider this, this, and that. It would be impossible to really understand Loki as a character from just what we've gotten in the series. The general audience would probably interpret Loki as being out of his element and so it becomes, I wonder how this character is going to get the upper hand here. And, while that's not wrong, it's just so limited.

The narrative at face value does not address Loki's identity crisis from Thor 2011. It does not address his hurt and devastation at being lied to, nor does it address how complicated his self-image is (bc it sucked to begin with and that was before he found out he was part of a race of "monsters," as he'd been taught his entire life). It does not reference Loki being so broken at the end of Thor 2011 that he deliberately let himself fall into the void of space (aka tried to kill himself). It does not reference that he was tortured by Thanos or even that he went through a seriously dark time in between Thor and Avengers, and it absolutely does not reference or address any influence or control of the mind stone.

These are all things that we, the fan audience, know because we've already invested our time into this character's story. But tons of people, the general audience, wouldn't know these things. Or if they did, bc they saw Thor and Avengers, they wouldn't be thinking about them as deeply as we would, nor contextualizing them with how Loki is behaving now, or why it would make sense that he needed to get drunk, or why it's understandable that he needs to keep going-going-going in order to not have a spare second to think or feel.

They'd probably look at Loki, again, as a character who was a villain and is now getting his comeuppance in a place where he has no power or control, and no literal powers, and even when he manages to escape and catch up to the variant, he proceeds to fuck up their plan for seemingly no real reason except that he wanted to get drunk bc he's hedonistic. Which Sylvie even berates him for! I mean. This is not exactly a complex character breakdown, nor a very flattering one, but that's what the narrative has given us.

(If the narrative has addressed Loki's mind control, his torture, his mental breakdown, his suicide attempt, and his general shitty self-esteem as a result of his upbringing, please point it out to me. If the narrative has explicitly acknowledged and referenced these things anywhere and I am missing it, please show me where. Please explain to me how the casual viewer would know any of these things that they need to know in order to actually understand what's happening in this story.)

So I mean, okay, we have a narrative that doesn't paint a full, accurate picture of Loki. Fine, sure. But because the general audience starts out on the wrong footing, they're not going to get out of the overall story what the writers probably intended them to. For example, in episode 3, a lot of us theorized that Loki had some kind of plan - that he broke the timepad on purpose, for some reason, bc otherwise it wasn't believable that he'd be such a failure. But episode 4 revealed that no, there was no bigger plan, Loki just plain old messed up. Which is fine if, again, one is only considering the surface-level portrayal here, but it's not true to Loki's actual characterization.

I mean. Loki is not perfect and Loki actually fails a lot, this is true. He fails for a lot of reasons, but incompetence has never been one of them. Usually it's that either things grew beyond his control, or there ended up being too many moving parts, or he had to change his plan at the last minute due to some roadblock or another being thrown his way, or even that he got in his own way - whatever the case may be for his plans' failures, he was always at least shown to know what he was doing.

That wasn't the case here. The "plan" to fix the Timepad failed as a direct result of Loki's actions, which were careless and made him seem incompetent, like he couldn't even handle this mission. "You had one job," etc. And there were pretty big consequences for this; they were not able to get off-world in time and would have been killed had the TVA not shown up at the last second.

And maybe none of these things matter bc the writers never intended any of this to be a reflection on Loki's character, positive or negative. The situation exists solely because the writers needed to put Loki and Sylvie together in some kind of hopeless scenario so that they could get closer, and thus the narrative could set up their romance. I get that - but, there were other ways to do it that didn't require Loki to look foolish.

Furthermore, the whole reason they needed to set up the romance is to show Loki eventually learning to love himself (like, figuratively but also literally). The audience is supposed to gather that Loki and Sylvie fell for one another, possibly due to the high emotional aspect of, yknow, being about to die (in addition to the variant-bond). The intent is clear: Loki and Sylvie almost die but get rescued at the last minute, having now created an emotional bond --> Loki and Sylvie team up and the narrative further establishes that Loki, at least, has caught feelings --> Loki might confess them but is pruned before he gets the chance --> he somehow survives, he and Sylvie are reunited and don't want to lose one another again, and the combined power of their love is enough to break the sacred timeline and spawn the multiverse, and the reason that the power of their love is so, well, powerful is because it's about self-love and self-acceptance as much as it is about having the capacity to love someone else. The end.

I get all that. The writers more or less said all that. And, I mean, it's certainly not the way I would have chosen to go about it, but it's a fair enough arc to explore. I don't really have an issue with the intent - but my question, however, is this: if the narrative has so far not addressed Loki's background issues (as outlined above), and has furthermore kinda gone out of its way to portray Loki as hedonistic and narcissistic, among other things (like kinda incompetent), and the context the audience starts with is that Loki's this villain who deserves what he gets -

- my question is 1, why should the audience care whether or not Loki gets to a point of loving and accepting himself (thus to make the theme of self-love, via the romance, hold weight) if they don't know that he hates himself to begin with and 2, why should the audience root for Loki to reach that point when so far the perception of him is that he's "kind of an asshole"? if he's a hedonistic narcissist, he probably already has a pretty inflated sense of himself, right? A misplaced inflated sense of himself, at that, because, again, the narrative has made him out to be not that capable of much of anything. (And it didn't start out that way! It seemed to start out with Loki being capable and intelligent but it's like episode 3, in trying to set up the romance, just jumbled it all up somewhere. I think this is why I'm harping on the Loki/Sylvie aspect so much - it's frustrating bc it kinda messes up the whole story and can't even accomplish what it's supposed to anyway.)

Anyway, that's beside the point. What I'm ultimately getting at is, at what point is the audience supposed to get invested in Loki's personal growth journey?

They can't, not really. Without understanding and having the context of everything Loki has been through up until now, and why he hates himself, and why it's so important that he learn to love himself, then the "payoff" becomes kinda pointless bc the significance of it is lost in translation. So suddenly we're left with this romance that comes off as either "Loki loves Sylvie bc of Reasons" (best-case scenario) or "Loki loves Sylvie bc he's vain, narcissistic, and kinda twisted" (worst-case scenario). Neither of these conclusions are what the writers intended or were going for, I'm positive, but there we are, regardless.

In order for the writers' intent in these storylines to land, they need to address the context of what makes these particular stakes high for Loki. So far, they haven't done that. They're asking the audience to pick up on all of these things, and they're showing things that subtextually make sense and are relatively in-character - but only if you realize there's subtext in the first place.

But you can't expect the audience to do all of the work for you. If you don't want the audience to think that Loki is a narcissistic asshole and instead you are trying to convey that, worst-case scenario, he thinks he's a narcissist but is an unreliable narrator, then you have to address that. If you need the audience to understand why you're going the selfcest route and why it's important to explore Loki's capacity to love himself and others, you have to address where that exploration is starting from and why it matters. Etc etc etc.

The narrative isn't doing any of that. And it isn't like it'd be that hard to do it. They don't need to reinvent the wheel here; a lot of the pieces are already there. A few lines of dialogue for context, a brief scene here or there addressing the issues, a little more care and consistency in how Loki handles things - these are all little things that could go a long fucking way in making the narrative stronger.

I'm rambling. My basic point is that my rollercoaster of emotions with this show is because

- as a part of the fan audience, not the general one, I can contextualize and analyze the subtext and come to the conclusions the show wants me to, and thus find the story and the characters more or less enjoyable,

- but I am also going to be using the subtext to come to conclusions that aren't there but probably should be (I think it would be a better story, for example, for Loki to confuse platonic love with romantic love bc it would pave the way to explore just how fucked up Loki's understanding of love - whether of other people or of himself, and the different forms it can take - actually is)

- and when they're ultimately not there, then I think, okay why am I bothering doing all this work just to ultimately feel very unfulfilled? They don't even have to write it the way I would, I'm not saying that, but they do have to do something to make the story feel rewarding.

If we don't get some confirmation of what Loki's been through, and where his headspace is, and why it matters for him to love himself, then the story remains pretty shallow and, for me, it's not fulfilling enough. It's not engaging enough. There isn't actually anything to sink my teeth into, so it becomes kind of boring. Maybe it's rewarding to other people, and that's great for them, but like - I need more than whatever this is.

So I'm just like - well, I had a lot of worries about this show, but my being bored wasn't one of them and now there's only two episodes left and am I really not going to get anything out of this, in the long run? No new canons, no new depths or layers, no new information on Loki's experiences? This is it?

I don't dislike it. I didn't start out disliking it, and I probably wont end up disliking it. I mean, there are a lot of good moments, and good things, and fan service-y things that I appreciate. As far as inspiration for fic goes, it's a goldmine, both plot-wise as well as aesthetic-wise. All of that is great. I don't dislike this show.

But I am disappointed in it, and I feel like I'll be watching the next two episodes lacking the sense of anticipation that would make it exciting. I'll still enjoy them, probably, if for nothing else just the sheer Loki content, but whatever it was I felt watching episodes 1 and 2 is gone and I'm sad about that, too. Because I really wanted to feel fulfilled by this series; I wanted it to fill up the void that Loki's death in IW created three years ago. And I just ... don't feel it. Maybe, maybe that'll change over the course of episodes 5 and 6. I don't know.

Everything that I end up enjoying long-term, I think, will come about as a result of my own interpretations and analysis and while theoretically there's nothing wrong with that, if I had known all I'd get out of this series was more headcanons or support for my current headcanons then, well - that's fine, I suppose, but I'll definitely a little bit robbed.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

HI i just wanted to say that i really enjoy your twilight metas (as those are the only ones ive read so far) and you're a genius. it's awesome to me how realistically you think about characters and the plot, which i have never been able to do because i always get confused. thank you especially for your post about jacob and how the fandom treats him bc ive always had mixed feelings! i love him (the fanon/new moon him ofc) but i also felt rly weird about the whole SA thing, especially as a brown boy thats been villainized (i didnt SA anyone i just realized how that sounds) i understood that it had racist roots but it still...happened, yk? anyways u put it beautifully and its alot easier to understand how i feel about him now. also like everything else u post about!! i despise the cullens w my every being but its so entertaining to see their dynamic and actions laid out. mostly bc it solidifies my hatred but anyways. they also kind of change my views on other characters, like i always kinda liked bella (i dont like alot of things she does but alot of the fan content i see on her made her feel rly relatable) and its rly interesting to see that she would be a kind of absent parent, bc id never considered it like that and it makes so much sense and woah. u have so much evidence to back up ur theories and opinions too--i tend to get lost in fanon but i dont rly do that w ur posts! even ones where ur spitballing its just muah chefs kiss i love. i write alot of self fulfilling fanfiction and tbh it does not feel the same when the characters r too ooc and ur posts have helped a fuck ton! ur super cool and i love ur stuff keep going :)

i do have some questions tho u dont have to acknowledge it at all and ik you tend to focus more on the cullens, but what do you think the wolf pack is like now that jacob, leah, and seth have left, and now that they have so many new members? do you think any other girls would have shifted and how would they be treated? ik leah was kind of alienated in canon not only bc shes a girl but also bc of her feelings, and i cant tell if the pack would be wary of her/treat her the same as leah, or if they would have learned their lesson.

have a good day!

Well first, thank you, I'm very flattered. I'm going to go ahead and acknowledge @therealvinelle here as well as she's I believe the one who originally posted the post about the very complicated topic of Jacob Black and his terrible choices throughout the series.

As for your questions there are a few pack questions in my inbox but it's mostly a matter that people keep asking questions about Bella and she keeps getting eaten.

Also, I'm not sure you want me answering these questions. Like all of Twilight, it's a bleak pit of despair.

But here we go

What About the Pack/Tribe After Breaking Dawn

There's a lot of shit going on in the tribe right now. Jacob leaving is just part of it.

They have an unprecedented number of shifters in the community and that's going to spell... a lot of issues in the years to come.

Namely, per Sam and Emily, domestic violence will be through the roof and kept very hushed up for the understandable reason of these people look like they were mauled by bears. This will also likely increase the number of deaths in the tribe, especially among those who are young. Accidents happen, it's not good, this is going to have a devastating impact on the people.

You also have a lot of angry, disaffected, young men who can no longer really be a part of society. They can't really attend school, can't even really leave the reservation for fear of turning into a wolf, they can't hold a job, at the age of nineteen or younger they each had their futures ripped away from them.

Some, Seth, handle this very well (possibly because he hasn't clued into what this means yet), others like Jake... do not. These people have had their lives turned upside down and in some cases utterly ruined: that's not good in any society.

Then you have the imprinting, lord, the imprinting.

To date, there's the Sam, Emily, and Leah disaster. The three of them handled it very well, but it still utterly destroyed Leah's life and emotional stability. Not helping, of course, is that Leah has had her very identity taken from her, has no privacy, and her only option of escape is to follow Jacob around which... we'll get to in a few paragraphs.

Added to that, you have the Claire/Quil disaster, in which the tribe is desperately trying to handle it by a) keeping it very quiet b) trying to make Quil just be the babysitter. That's unlikely to work out for them and is just angstfest all around and no one's fault.

And then, of course, Jacob/Renesmee. Jacob, having now imprinted, will follow Renesmee to the ends of the earth. He has no other purpose now. Which means that Leah and Seth, who are in his pack, get to follow along and uproot their lives. For the tribe this means they'll never be rid of the Cullens, not truly, and Billy has lost his son entirely. Not to mention it's guaranteed to go awful places.

Then you have the paternity questions this whole thing drudges up, the trauma of these children having to be sacred warriors and having slaughtered demons with human faces, many of whom were also once children and more.

The tribe and the pack are a goddamn mess.

Jacob imprinting on the Cullen hybrid daughter and leaving the tribe? Yeah, it's weird and no one likes it, but that isn't even the peak of the nonsense these people have to deal with.

Would the Other Girls Shift?

No.

Leah seems to have won the genetic shitty lottery. In 600 years of shifting, there has never been another woman, and Leah has all shifting bloodlines in her veins.

It seems Leah was just very unlucky.

Were other girls to shift I imagine they'd face much the same situation. Suddenly teenage boys are witnessing them naked, all the time, they have no choice to become sacred warriors (a role not typically meant for women and which will very much feel like 'the boy's club') and I don't get the idea that anyone learned anything from Leah.

Jake certainly didn't, he just thought she was Uber Bitch until she begged him to let her in his new pack and reminded him she was a human being with feelings.

The concept genuinely had not occurred to him.

TL;DR Remember kids, Twilight is despair

[faeodum]

okay i just saw love and thunder and i need to get some things out. spoilers alert yk the drill

first of all i’ve said this in the tags a couple reblogs back but MY GOD don’t go see this movie if you want to see an action movie or worst a serious movie. this is not what this is. idk about you, but when i’m considering paying 15 bucks to see a movie i kinda want to know what i need to be looking forward to and L&T gave exactly what it said: an unserious, ridiculous, weird, corny ass lovecom that will allow you to turn your brain off for a little less than two hours and have fun

literally they described the plot as “imagine if you put a bunch of kids in the writers room, asked what they wanted to see in a thor movie, and then said yes to everything” and that’s what we got! why are you having a fit on twitter!!!!!!

ANYWAYS besides that it was really fun!! the room i was in was very open to the corny kiwi humor, everyone was laughing the whole time and even when it got cringey it was more funny than annoying and we all had a great time (im thinking of the “fake bad acting” choice in the directing but again i’m familiar with taika’s work so it didn’t bother me but some might find it upsetting)

AGAINNN its not the height of cinema and its not supposed to be. would i have liked more character development for val? yes absolutely this was my main hope so im a bit disappointed. but also i understand that there are more thor movies coming up and this one was about thor and jane and bringing closure to what we knew had been a serious/long-term relationship that just?? ended off screen suddenly. so i am hoping val is getting that next time and im not too worried about it

though you can’t take this away from waititi: the movie was really fucking pretty (yes ik a few wonky green screens but even actively looking for them i barely noticed besides the War Baby Flashback)

like hello the second face-off with the villain was insane???? christian bale is a crazy talented actor and i loved the video game-ish vibes it had (although ik my friend was kinda put off by it) but it was actually one of my favorite scenes

actually yk what the thematic of love was refreshing as hell… the fact that the antagonist had it against selfish and unresponsive gods rang with me and it was nice to see thor acknowledging that although he had very much been like that, he’s working on himself to be better

choosing to admit you’re defeated and just choose to pass ur last moment with your loved ones rather than fighting a loosing battle? how the movie treats important and heavy themes such as a loved one fighting a deadly illness, wanting the best for them and yet NEVER making choices for them… choosing love over hate always

again some people have HATED the last scene but guys? although i was not expecting it, it actually makes sm sense for thor. all he’s ever wanted was to take care of smn/someone, but the position he was given (crown prince then king) was just too much pressure on him and he just knew too well how utterly unfit he was for the job, and well although he could have grown into it, it was just not in the cards for him with the whole thanos disaster/ensuing depression

with this new development, he gets that AND stops this long cycle of loneliness and self-doubt he’s had going on for literal years. here he can’t doubt that he’s loved and needed, cause he now has a literal child in his custody that very definitely both loves and needs him and he CANNOT doubt that and thats so good for him and his confidence i think. also that single interaction was so fucking cute and natural are you kidding me??????

bonus points for the fact that it also allows him to grieve in a more healthy way because again, he can’t take care of a kid if he can’t take care of himself. no more brusso brothers alcoholism bs we’re in a healthy household now!

we knew it but val’s sexuality was confirmed and so were gay rock dads (squared)!!! and it felt damn good since last time we got that was with phastos which made me tear up a bit in eternals lmao

still laughing thinking about the gd goats

THIS WAS A MOVIE FOR KIDS!!!!! and that was so wholesome. yeah it’s a movie for kids and by kids too since the actors’ kids were all included both in the writing and monsters designing process (and featured in the movie too!) and i think it’s great that little kids out there can watch this movie and go huh i too can be a hero! it’s alright if i’m scared and it’s normal but i can do anything! and thats what heroes comics are about babeyyyy

might be repeating myself here but gd yall threw a fit because marvel was boring and yall wanted smn different and now you’re like “TOO DIFFERENT TOO DIFFERENT!!!” like pls go touch some grass its a fucking marvel movie it couldn’t be LESS deep

if, again, the movie was all about lame jokes, when it got to heavy scenes it did it very well. a few people got choked up during the final showdown and the scene just before it. and i think it takes talent to have people switch from hilarity to sad tears so organically

unfortunately the after credits scenes did not do it for me. although the prospect of bringing in greek mythology is cool ig, after seeing so many cool looking gods in that one scene i was like 1) zeus could have stayed dead actually 2) hercules is not the most exciting option but again? benefit of the doubt…lets see whats gonna happen…… also pretty sure the second post-cred was just waititi being like ‘aw fuck they killed heimdall? >:(( fuck that hey idris mate get ur ass on set’ bc it served nothing lmao but hey! not complaining about seeing heimdall one last time!

anyways yes thats about it for now!!! might add some later if something comes to mind but otherwise i’ll resume this with: if you have two hours and 10 bucks to kill, go switch off ur brain and watch thor love and thunder

[omg-imagine]

Forget Me Not (Part 12/15)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Reader

Summary: After you wake up from a coma and realize that your memories from the last five years have been erased, Keanu works to bring back what you have lost.

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: Angst, language

A/N: Kinda nervous posting again since it’s been a while, but we’re winding down to the end of this story with only three more parts to go (2 chapters + an epilogue). As always, feedback is appreciated. Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you enjoy!

Part 11

Home.

You are home. It’s supposed to be home.

But it wasn’t. To you, it couldn’t be. 

This place feels too far from home, too foreign. You had no memories of it, no recollection of the safety and security it offers. Not even the faintest remembrance of the laughter, smiles, and tears; the fondness and the sadness these four walls have witnessed over the years. 

You can’t call it home. You don’t know where home is, and you’re not sure you have one anymore. 

Not after leaving him behind.

It’s cold and dark when you first wake, sleep weighing heavily in your eyes. A pair of curtains block out the sun from filtering into the room, leaving you to wonder if you had slept through half the day. With a yawn, you stretch, the bed underneath creaking as your body fully rouses from yet another night of fitful slumber. Almost a month back in New York, and it doesn’t make sense to keep blaming your lack of energy on the time difference.

The ache is still ever-present. The pain caused by the void in your heart remains, sharply throbbing in your chest with its refusal to go away. Two heartbreaks, two betrayals, occurring five years apart, but it feels as though not much time has passed in-between. 

It hurts to ponder about it, that evening when your seemingly perfect little world came crashing down. Hiding behind rose-tinted glasses, you were unknowingly tricked, fully caught up in a well-crafted illusion. His illusion. Love has blinded you to the sad reality, and in the end, it left you a shattered mess, a hollow shell of your former self.

You doubt you’ll ever be whole again.

Forcing yourself out from under the covers, you reach for your phone on the nightstand to check the time before scrolling through your notifications. Nothing was of interest to you, fortunately; you didn’t have the energy to respond to those you suddenly abandoned. Friends who cared about you but realized you were never close to them. Not in the way it used to be.

As you skimmed over the new texts and emails, you then came across his now unsaved number. The moment you stepped on the plane, you deleted his contact from your phone and blocked him. Yet the last messages he sent to you were still there and haven’t been read since, though you already knew what they could entail—

I’m sorry.

It was never my intention to hurt you.

Please give me another chance.

Let me fix this.

Just come back, Y/N. Come back home.

Home. There was that damn word again. You were beginning to loathe it, even more so knowing that whenever you think of home, you wind up thinking of him.

The last time you saw him was the morning after the storm. Booking a one-way ticket back to the east coast, you then spent the early hours packing as many clothes that would fit in a single suitcase. Tears had long since dried up, having none left as you headed down the stairs, ignoring the look he gave you from afar.

He was dressed in the outfit he had on the night prior; his hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot, and it was quite obvious he endured no sleep. Your resolve nearly crumbles as your gazes connect, bodies close enough that he could reach out the slightest bit, and he’d be holding your hand in the palm of his. 

Fighting the urge, you didn’t cave in. You couldn’t allow yourself to fall for it—for him. 

No, never again.

As expected, he followed you out of the house, remaining quiet as he watched the cab driver load your luggage in the trunk. You paid him no attention when he approached the vehicle once you climbed in, wanting nothing more than to escape this nightmare. With nowhere else to go and no one to turn to, you decided it was best to leave California, not that you belonged there anyway.

It played out like a scene from a movie—the taxi pulling out of the driveway slowly as the raindrops started to fall. Hearing him call out your name, his voice cracking with each syllable, made you hesitate for a beat. Perhaps you could forgive him, you had thought in that split-second. Forgive and forget; let what happened in the past stay in the past. 

But even if you did, the pain’s still there, and it was overpowering. This pain resulting from his deception had been too consuming, too unbearable to move on.

You told the driver to hurry as you couldn’t afford to miss your flight.

The atmosphere in the car was fraught with grim silence. As the house sequestered in the hills vanishes in the rearview mirror, you knew you were running away from it all. You couldn’t stand being here in LA, where every turn, every corner, and every street reminds you of a life that wasn’t truly yours. 

As idyllic it once was, you wanted no part of it anymore. Instead, you sought for familiarity, the life you used to have, the one you could only remember. 

What you thought was your real home.

Unable to hold it in any longer, you had broken down in the backseat, never feeling more alone than you did at that moment.

You wish you could forget, but it’s not that easy. It’s never easy. Memories of him linger in your mind, still tragically fresh as they haunt you day in and day out. Closing your eyes, you could see him wearing this smile that used to make your stomach flutter. You came to love his smile the same way you had loved him wholly. 

Now? Seeing it was a stab to the heart—a reminder of how he took advantage of your condition, your vulnerability. Of every lie you were fed. That smile, the one you previously hoped to wake up to for the rest of your life, had been an act, a facade. 

Everything had been a facade.

A sudden knock on the door startles you, and you clicked off the phone screen before announcing to whoever that they could come in. Your mother Nancy enters soon after, her face displaying concern when she realizes you had just woken up. She’s silent as she walks towards the window and then pushes the curtains aside, the sunlight outside immediately washing over the room. 

Briefly, you squint to adjust to the brightness, a confirmation that it was past noon already—another wasted day.

“Hey, darling,” she speaks softly as she moves to sit on the mattress beside you. “How are you doing?”

There’s no point in lying, but as much as you greatly appreciated her caringness, you didn’t want to burden her with your problems. They were yours to deal with and yours alone. 

“Better.” And that, you were. Just a week ago, you finally stopped crying yourself to sleep. “I might even go out tomorrow and look for a job. Can’t keep freeloading under your roof, right?”

You release a half-chuckle, a small attempt to lighten up the mood. It was comforting when your mother cracks a smile in response.

“Oh, hush. You’re always welcome to stay as long as you need to,” she assures, a loving warmth radiating from her tone. 

Lips pressing together, you sense that she has another thing to address. “What’s wrong?”

Nancy pauses to take a breath, shoulders rising and falling. For some reason, you’re on edge, finding yourself bracing for what was to come.

“Have you spoken to Keanu lately?”

Upon hearing his name, you swallowed away the lump in your throat. After telling your parents what had transpired, it stirred up various emotions—mainly anger from your father, sorrow from your mom. Their hearts sank as you recounted the story, tears blurring your eyes that you couldn’t see their faces. It was a good thing, however; you probably wouldn’t have reached the end.

Since then, they’ve refrained from speaking of him and to him. He’s called the house on a few occasions but could never get past the automated answering machine. Pictures of the two of you hanging on the walls were taken down shortly after the revelation, and you were unsure of who had done it. 

Your parents still couldn’t believe he was capable of such a thing. He had played them the same way you were, twisting the truth and omitting facts. Painting himself in a way that made them think allowing you to stay with him was the best decision when just months before he treated you as if you didn’t matter. 

As if he didn’t love you.

“No.” Curt, you had nothing else to say. 

“He’s a persistent one, I’ll tell you that. Left another message last night,” Nancy comments, feeling her stare as you fiddled with the hands in your lap. The next time she speaks, it’s slow and controlled. She’s careful with her words, wary of how you would react to what she has to say. “Hon, the last time you were here, you told me something. Something that I probably should have mentioned the day you woke up in the hospital.”

You tense, eyes flickering up to hers. “What is it?”

She sighs deeply, her smile fleeting and replaced by a taut frown. “I knew you and Keanu were having… problems. Not the full story, but enough that told me you’ve been unhappy for a while.”

“W-Why didn’t you bring this up then?”

“Because the second I saw him in your hospital room, I could see how much he loves you. How scared he was at the thought of nearly losing you—”

“Pfft, sure he was,” you scoff at the statement in disbelief. “What he did—you don’t do that to someone you love. You don’t lie to them, betray them. Hell, if you had given me a heads up earlier, then it would have saved me all this trouble.”

“Y/N—”

“Don’t you get it? He’s an actor. Of course, he’s good at playing pretend. Got us all believing that things were all sunshine and rainbows. He fucked up and fucked up even more by lying. I’ve always had a bad track record in relationships, so I shouldn’t have been too surprised.”

Tension hangs thickly in the air, an apology murmured at the end of a passing second. You didn’t mean to snap at your mother, to let the anger and betrayal consume you that you began taking it out on others although unwillingly. 

But you were just too goddamn hurt. Every day, the memories are suffocating you despite constantly wishing and pleading for them to disappear. That life, the one you had with Keanu, no longer exists, and yet you were still holding onto the frayed remains of it, not ready to move on—to let go. 

You grieve. You grieve and mourn for the recent past, the happiness and love you experienced in the time you were left unaware. Never have you felt so complete, so content, and much at ease. You had turned a blind eye to the signs, to the small inklings of doubt brewing inside because you thought that there was no way you could get something else as close to this.

Perhaps you were both to blame after all.

“I thought he was different,” you whisper, sorrow flowing from your words. “I thought he was the one. The man I’d settle down with, marry, and then maybe someday, be the father of my kids. We’d build an entire life together, a family, a future. The kind of life where I could look back on it fifty years from now when we’re old and gray and not regret a single thing.”

Feeling your mother’s hand come on top of yours with a light squeeze, you fought off the tears forcing their way from your eyes. You swore you would never shed a tear for Keanu ever again, but you are crumbling from within. The weak walls you put up are now tumbling down, leaving you even more vulnerable than before. 

“I want to hate him. I want him to feel my pain and suffer through it, knowing that he’s the reason why. But I can’t. Somehow, I just can’t.”

“It’s because you still love him. No matter how much it hurts, you’re still in love with him,” Nancy adds solemnly, and you nod shakily. “You’re healing, dear. So far, all you’ve done is put on a bandaid, but it doesn’t mean the wound closes up immediately. It’ll burn, it’ll bleed, and it’ll ache, and right now, that’s what you’re feeling; the pain of a fresh open wound.”

“Make the pain stop,” you mumbled incoherently as you lean against your mom’s side, wet cheeks pressed to her shoulder. “It has to stop.”

“And it will,” she promises, listening to your soft and tired cries. “It’ll take time for the wound to heal, but eventually, it will. Until then, life continues, and you would have to as well. You don’t have to go all-in right away, but don’t let this heartbreak hinder you from living, sweetie. You’re strong, and I believe you will feel that same happiness again, in one form or another. But you won’t find it unless you go out and look for it.”

For the first time in what seemed like a while, you felt something other than loss and despair. It creeps into you slowly, half-expecting a cold, crushing weight to fall heavily on your chest rather than the warmth and light it is. But as quickly as it came, the sensation subsides, a wave of loneliness, emptiness filling the vacant space surrounding your heart.

A shuddering breath released, you then reflect upon what your mother said about time and how time heals all wounds. You wonder how much time is needed until you can finally break free from the remnants of the past and breathe again. Could be days, weeks, or even months more, but it’s right there, waiting for you on the horizon. 

You may not have a place to call home, but what you do have is time.

---

Seconds turn into minutes; minutes turn into hours. The sun sets, the moon rises; bright, blues skies bleed into a fiery red before dimming to an inky darkness. The world spins on its axis as people wake, move, then sleep, and the cycle begins all over again.

Two weeks have come and gone, and life pushes onward. You could tell by the scenery outside where the season of fall has taken charge of the Northeast. Days are shorter, with nights stretching out longer as the year fades into winter. Time was flying by at a brisk pace. Very soon, a blanket of snow will cover the ground you walk on, reminding you to take a step back and admire the natural beauty of mid-November.

The crispness of the late afternoon air is refreshing as it fills your lungs, a welcome change from the hazy summer heat. Leaves that were once lively shades of green are now painted in deep hues of amber and burgundy, and they crunch beneath your boots with each leisure step down the earthy path. The nearby lake is as pristine as ever, sparkling freely underneath the rays of the ochre sun as it waits for the impending frost.

Wandering about outdoors for hours now, you were lost in your stream of thoughts. You honestly felt better, not entirely mended, but just enough that you can step out of the house and explore the quaint little town. A picturesque place, it was a perfect settlement for your retired parents where everyone knew everybody; their faces, names, the street they lived on. Boilding down to more personal details such as knowing the pets they owned, which book club they’re a part of, and any recent travels. 

When the townsfolk saw you, you sensed the feeling of familiarity. Those you passed by in the streets waved at you, and though you couldn’t exactly recall your relationship with them, it made you smile. Recently, old friends and family in the area had begun reaching out after hearing you were back. You never gave them the full explanation, only revealing that things in California did not work out, and you figured it was best to leave. 

Was it a permanent decision? Most likely. Life here is simpler, quieter. You enjoyed the peacefulness, favoring the calm atmosphere of this town much over the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles. It gave you space to think, to focus, to breathe. To reacquaint with yourself, rebuild who you are as a person by taking this journey of self-discovery. 

It’s the brand new start you desperately wanted, needed. An opportunity to find your place in this world without the past holding you back. Without the shadow of the woman you once were looming over you. And if your memories don’t ever return, which deep down, you hope they never would, you would be fine with it. 

You were tired of being stuck searching pieces of the past. You had to live.

Trekking up the gravel road leading to your parents’ home, a black car sits on top of the hill, one that you did not recognize. Perplexed, you approached the house with hesitant steps, dragging your feet through the pile of dead and dry leaves. There was a moment of panic when you noticed a man sitting on the front porch steps, hands clasped on his knees as he hung his head low, a curtain of dark hair masking his identity.

But you don’t need to think twice, for you already know who it is.

“Keanu?”

His name slipping out of your mouth feels different now. Gone is the affectionate tone that it was usually spoken in. It held no meaning, void of any warmth or tenderness. Keanu, the name is bitter on your tongue, a poison that could cause you to spiral down yet again, and saying it out loud brought upon a rage that swirls through your veins.

How dare he show up here unannounced?

As you take your breaths, one… two… three... and out, Keanu straightens his posture and meets your stern glare. Slowly, he gets up, the expression on his face hard to read. But aside from that, he looked worse for wear. The bags underneath his eyes were dark and prominent, the beard on his chin was unruly and untamed. He appears gaunt and exhausted, as if he hasn’t slept a wink ever since you walked out of the door and out of his life.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You’re the first to break the thick silence, a testament of your bravery and strength of some sort. Brows furrowing and teeth gritting in anger, it contrasts with Keanu’s lax demeanor as he steps closer. “No, stay back. You have no right to be here right now.”

“Y/N, please...” He speaks calmly, each and every one of his movements measured. “I’m not here to fight—”

“I have nothing to say to you,” you seethed, shaking your head as you stormed past him and towards the door. Tears brew in your cloudy eyes, a sign of how much he still affected you. Seeing him again after all this time only proved that the wound he had inflicted bleeds to this day.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Keanu quickly trails from behind, his voice dripping with utter desperation. “Please, just… give me a chance to talk. All you have to do is listen, and I promise you won’t ever have to see me again.”

The seriousness in his timbre causes you to halt in your tracks. Swallowing dryly, you turn around, sad, tired eyes reaching his guilt-filled ones. Keanu stands before you with a face written in despair, making him barely recognizable. The way he’s staring at you as if he’s hopeless and in pure anguish is unsettling, and you almost pitied him for it. 

“Y/N…” He pleads softly, defeatedly. “Hear me out, please.”

You wrestled between your options, half apathetic, half curious of what Keanu had to say. Unspoken words on the tip of his tongue, he mutely begs for you to relent, and if this is all it takes for him to leave you alone, leave you for good, then so be it.

“Ten minutes,” you muttered, low enough that he barely catches it at first. Crossing your arms against your chest, the gentle autumn wind rustling through the trees pierces the silent air as you observe Keanu staggering forward, a hand rubbing at the nape of his neck. 

“I’m sorry,” he begins, gazing at you with his searching brown eyes. “I-I know saying it a thousand times won’t make a difference, but I really am sorry. What I did before and after the accident was inexcusable and selfish. I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself that. Don’t expect you to do so, either. You probably hate my guts right now, and flying out here might be a mistake, but I needed to talk to you in person. To say goodbye one last time.”

Brushing his hair back, Keanu then pads over to the trunk of the car, and all you can do is wait for him to come back. It doesn’t take long, but he makes two trips to unload two boxes, setting each of them down in the space separating you two. He instantly notices the confusion etched across your features, burying his hands in his coat pocket with an exhale.

“Are those—”

“All the things you left behind,” Keanu finishes feebly. “Thought you would want them back.”

Stunned, a mirthless chuckle escapes your throat. “You didn’t have to do this. Those aren’t my things anyway.”

“But they are—”

“They’re not mine,” you cut him off with a weary gaze. “Keanu, I’ve said this before; I’m not the woman you fell in love with. Not anymore. Look, throughout those months we spent together, I tried to fit into this life everyone told me I had. A life that’s far from what I was used to. God, it feels like a dream being her. So confident, happy, and successful. Waking up from the coma, of course, I would want that. I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship which left me broken and unworthy of anything and anyone. Then you showed me the love I thought I didn’t deserve, and it kept me from realizing that it was all too good to be true.”

Eyes faltering to the ground, your fingers fumbled with the hem of your sweater, ultimately distracting yourself from the tears threatening to fall. “The truth is, I didn’t know you. You were, are, a stranger to me. You had done things behind my back, hid details that would have been a deal-breaker, but you didn’t care. I’ve thought about it a lot lately; would I have stayed if you told me from the very beginning. I wasn’t sure if I was madder at you kissing someone else, knowing how much it would hurt me, or the fact that you lied to fix this—us.”

There is a moment of silence that weighs over everything. The wind stops blowing; the leaves are motionless. Time seems to slow around you and Keanu as he waits for your next words. Words that you are still searching for since you hadn’t prepared to voice those thoughts out loud. They all came rushing, flooding like a broken dam, too overwhelming to keep at bay. 

“Which one is it?” Keanu probes delicately, equally afraid of which answer you’re going to give.

“Neither,” you revealed, surprisingly. “I’m angrier at myself for falling too fast; for being the naive little girl who let herself be fooled, who refused to listen to her instincts even though she knew they were usually right.”

You see Keanu open his mouth to speak, but you weren’t done. “I always believed this accident was a curse. It erased years worth of memories that, at this point, I’ll never get back. But now, I see the good that came out of it. Our fights, our arguments, they were all signs that our relationship was falling apart, but I couldn’t let go of it—of you. I held onto us thinking the bad will just phase out eventually when in reality, I couldn’t bear giving up on you and this life we shared.”

Another pause. “Huh, funny. Looking at it, the same thing happened all over again.”

With that said, you felt relieved, somewhat lighter. Despite previous inclinations, you didn’t shout or yell at Keanu. Nor did you discuss to the fullest extent of the suffering you’ve endured. Strangely, it was nearly therapeutic admitting all of that to him, to yourself. For months, you had been unable to let go and accept the truth, allowing fear and doubt to control your actions. 

But that was then, and this is now. 

And now, it was time for you to be free.

“Guess this is it,” Keanu sighs dejectedly. He didn’t come here to win you back, knowing there’s nothing that he could do or say to repair the damage. Like you, he’s letting go, letting this be the closure he needs, and you need as well. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“Yeah,” you agreed quietly, “Guess this is goodbye.”

Before you could leave his sight to spare Keanu the awkwardness, he holds up a finger, signaling you to wait a second. Swiftly, he goes to retrieve something that’s lying on the front seat, something that you’ve spent countless hours flipping through. He then reluctantly passes it over to you, and you’re unsure what to do with it.

“Your pictures,” he points out, though you were already aware. “I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything by giving this, but this book is yours. Keep it, burn it, do whatever seems right to you. But I want you to know, to remember, that I did love you. I still do, and these photos are proof of it, even if you can’t bring yourself to believe that I’m telling the truth. You deserve love and to be loved, Y/N. More than anything in the universe. I fucked up my chance to be the one to tell you that every day, but it doesn’t mean the next person you fall for will.”

“Ke…” your voice suddenly breaks with emotion, uncertain of what to add after his statement. It’s because you still love him. No matter how much it hurts, you’re still in love with him, your mother’s earlier words echo in your mind, ringing true in your heart. Even after everything, a piece of you still loved Keanu, and saying goodbye to him more painful than you anticipated.

As you stand frozen, Keanu inches nearer until he’s by your feet, the palm of his hand coming to rest on your cheek. He strokes your face with a tender caress before tilting your chin upwards to meet his gaze, brushing his thumb along your lower lip gently. You allow him to have this moment, to hold you and study you for a final time, commit you to memory as this would be the last. 

Eyes fluttering shut, you feel him press a soft kiss on your forehead, the warmth of it immediately spreading throughout your body before he slowly pulls away.

“Take care of yourself, Y/N,” Keanu says, opening the driver’s side door of his rental. You look at each other once more and see the subtle, hopeful smile he shoots your way. “And don’t be afraid to love again.”

You watch as he starts driving away, opting to wait until the car is finally out of view before releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

In your hands is a keepsake of your memories. A collection of captured moments that you had cherished so dearly. But things are different now; mistakes were made, words were said, people have grown apart. You found no reason to linger in the past when there’s nothing left to salvage. 

Nothing left to do but heal.

The warmth of Keanu’s kiss eventually disappears, the world around you unpausing, continuing as it was before. You stay standing in place, glancing back and forth between the book you clutched on tightly and the boxes laying on the ground. 

Yet in the quietude, the wind still blows. The leaves still fall, and the earth still spins.

Time resumes, bit by bit; passing for life to move forward— 

For you to move on.

Part 13

Tags: @penwieldingdreamer​ @fanficsrusz​ @toomanystoriessolittletime​ @awessomness @meetmeinthematinee​ @ringa-starr​ @ficsnroses​ @iworshipkeanureeves​ @keandrews​ @greenmanalishi​ @feminine-machinegun​ @thehumanistsdiary​ @lilyette​​ @rdjloverxxx @flaminasteroid @danceoftwowolves @ravenpuff02 @wheretheriversrunintothesea​​ @breakthenight​​ @allie1804-fan​​ @partypoison00​​

[shatteredatthealtarofwinchester]

It really stings that Jensen literally had no one to back him up in the writer's room. He knew how harmful the ending they were pitched would be & he tried so hard to fight & he did fight so hard but when your co-lead of 15 years is against you with the writers, he could do literally nothing but take it or leave it. I feel like Dean was always more than a job to jensen but at some point sam became just a paycheck to his actor. & Sam got screwed over just as badly by the finale on so many levels too (I maintain he should've become the next gen of hunter's Bobby and Eileen should've become a lawyer and they should've run the bunker while raising kids).

But what really gets me is that during that same discussion with the writers, jensen still fought for Kaia, like we can imagine her & claire being together, being happy and it be canon compliant because of him. He couldn't save Dean then, but he was the reason Kaia was ultimately saved. (As far as we know, I sadly was not in the room where it happened but my god do I wish I was. Oh to have been a fly on the wall there or to have been there & invisible, able to get away with anything...) him & Robert Berens were the only people who went oh yes we have this indigenous female characters, made a pretty significant threat last season but we didn't address it again so let's address it this season (& bring back her original self who is also canonically wlw & allude to her & claire getting together). Because of him we can at least interpret that two canonically lgbtq characters got a happy ending in life and didn't get buried & forgotten like cas, charlie, max, charlie, apocalypse charlie, stevie, rowena (scene that confirmed she was bi got censored screw you see double ewe), Crowley, off the top of my head.

I really do feel for jensen. Like given past incidents, we should have known misha would be screwed over (it is sooo f-ed up is that misha getting screwed over by writers & the network is basically expected) but we never even imagined that they'd even try to screw jensen over as badly and as hard as they did screw him over. The show never deserved either of them & the show wouldn't have gotten as big as it did without them. No one could ever replicate what they brought.

At least Brianna who seems like good friends with jensen, responded with no comment when asked about her thoughts on the finale (which you wouldn't do if you had nothing but compliments on the ep), so he has at least one person in the cast on his side.

So much talking today, me likey! 🥰

Yes. I can fully support you in your thought that Jensen felt closer to Dean than Jared felt to Sam and this was totally clear. Jensen said so much stuff about how much he loves Dean, that Dean is his best friend, that he will always carry him with himself, that he will always be very protective about Dean and so on. Also the Spotlight just moved from Dean and Sam to Dean and Cas over the years, people pointed out that Jareds acting was average, later regressive... Maybe he really didn't cared anymore when it came to an end since Walker is his "passion project that has his entire heart."

You are also right that it just hurts fucking much to see that Jared didn't backed him up. Who else would be in the room? Dabb of course, since he wrote 15x20. Singer also. And Dabb openly said that he thinks he made very clear that he dislikes Jensen. Jensen had disagreements with Singer before also. To me it feels like it was SPN vs Walker, and while Jensen chose SPN, Jared chose Walker. Jared even said "You can't make everyone happy" while knowing that this ending will only please W*ncesties and B*bros, and exactly those ran from SPN to Walker.

You're right, actually it's kinda ridiculous that Jared called the ending magical and beautiful fullcircle storytelling while his own character got screwed as well. It shows that he didn't even understood the development of his own character.

Yeah, Bobo spoke openly about how Jensen fought for Kaia. He wanted the story to be continued, he wanted her back.

Yeah, the whole thing about Misha and how he was treated from the network... I'll try not to use abusive language here. Truth is, Misha saved and carried Supernatural. When he entered the stage, he won our hearts and the spotlight moved from Dean and Sam to Dean and Cas. When Cas was killed, ratings dropped. I did an analysis some days ago about the ratings of every single episode that include Misha vs episodes without Misha. Result: Misha made every single season better. He even was in every single seasons finale (except season 15, they didn't needed him anymore then and just threw him away.) Before they couldn't afford to kill him without bringing him back, they couldn't afford not having him in the main story. Weird for a side char, huh? Yeah, the fandom just loves him, you dumb assholes. And actually it made sense when Chuck said that Cas was the only one who grew outside of gods control. The network couldn't control him.

You are right, I never thought that the network would screw Jensen that bad. Never ever. But the show was over, what do they have to loose? They have a new series to promote now, and Jensen isn't in it, so... There you have the decision. Sad to see that they go with the average actor who didn't cared about his own character or the show he's been on for 15 years anymore. He didn't even cared about the fandom. All about money, huh?

[twstwonderlandstuff]

Sleep depravity

You feel like shit.

Flashback

Ahaha, the new year! A time for fun and festivities! Surely, that’s what YOU’RE going to be doing, right?

Wrong.

Well, I mean right, but it’s not fun by what most of NRC calls as. So imagine this, right, you’re sitting in yo damn class doing your damn shit when suddenly, your classmate whispers to you from behind.

“Hey.” You nudge an elbow, to show that you’re listening. 

“You should watch ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’. It’s a really good series.” You nod in thanks at the recommendation and your classmate retreats back to his seat. 

And the day goes on as usual: Running around campus doing your part-time jobs, occasionally talking to your friends and seniors, feeding Grim, appreciating how fine everybody looks today- pardon me.

So now, it’s bedtime and you’re there listening to Grim talk as you do your homework. Then, he says: “Oh yeah, someone said something about a recommendation, right?”

“Right, I forgot about that.” You nod, finishing your homework in time. “We should check that out to watch for New Years. It’s in a few days.” You sigh, bouncing your leg. 

See, unlike from where you’re from, NRC has a different curriculum, where the OFFICIAL tests come out somewhere in the 3rd and 9th month of the year, not the 6th and the 12th, so this is just cooldown time for you to kind of chill and relax. 

“Right, holidays~~~ We don’t need to listen to Vargas anymore!” Grim hums cheerfully, and you nod. He’s already loud and super annoying every time he meets a slightly muscular kid, but add THAT with him rambling about safety protocols? Nah, man, ya can’t.

"Ah yes, the holidays where everyone goes home and leaves us here to wail and stay all alone with nobody- I mean I got you but you know- nobody and probably have to clean the school.” You take a deep breath. “Lovely.”

"That annoying guy is going to do something like that...” Grim complains, rolling over to flop on your stomach. “I don’t wanna!”

“Same...” You reply lazily, fist bumping Grim’s paw. “Hahah... hah...”

Despite your complaining, you feel a little giddy. I mean, come on, you get the FUCK around the school, all day by yourselves! What’s not to love about that? And the series is sure to keep you entertained.

Flashback end.

‘That was a terrible, terrible thing to think about.’ You thought blearily, thoughts swirling around your head as Grim falls asleep on you, *heetos and dorr*tos all over your body, making you feel sticky and gross. 

It’s now the actual new years, where everybody’s gone home and like you predicted, Crowley did assign you to tasks- fucking bird, so you and Grim’s ass didn’t do what he told you. Fucking hell, the school’s been functioning DAMN well without you, surely the tasks not THAT big of a deal, right?

After goofing around for a few days, you’re getting bored, so you drag your lazy self to Sam’s store (where his friends from the other side are tending it for him) and rent out a DVD- Crowley didn’t gift you a phone, unfortunately (but still fixed that old TV set??? Man’s got some weird priorities)

You bring this news to Grim, who immediately begs and whines for you to open and watch the show. So you did.

The first episode, you were intrigued, but only a little bit. The same went for the 2nd and 3rd episode. You’re about to call it a lame series when you hit... the 4th episode.

It was a wild ride of emotions and wow... that scene where Henry helps the king really brought you and Grim to tears. 

You were hooked. Or in other words, you were fucked. Fucked because now, you can’t THINK of anything BUT the series, which forces you to stay at home and watch the entire god-damn thing and now its 2 days after that.

At... you blearily open your eyes and notice the cracks of light shining through the curtain. “Oh god...” At somewhere around 8 am in the morning.

“Fucking hell... I’ve gone and fucked up my sleep schedule... shit...” And for some reason, tears began running down your eyes. What the fuck? Are you THAT tired that’d you’d cry over your SLEEP SCHEDULE?

Yes. Yes, you are.

You hear a knock at the door. “Oh my fucking god.” You curse, rolling down the uneven wooden floors, wincing as you get splinters. You lethargically stand up  and open the door and look up to see...

HEARTSLABYUL

Someone 5 cm taller then you- oh screw off, you’re 145 cm, its okay to be pissed, you know?

“Happy new year, prefect-” You interrupt him.

“Oh.. you’re cute!” You grin gleefully, pinching the red hair’s cheeks.

“U-unhand me at once!” The guy with red hair shouted, forcibly taking your hands away. “Or its off with your head!”

"What, you’re gonna- you’re gonna tie me up~?” You tease, punching the guy’s shoulder. “That’s kinky dude... like tone down the horny ya know...”

2 guys with red-orange hair and other with blue starts laughing loudly in the background and you laugh too.

The guy with red hair STARTS turning red- oh my fucking god, people can turn red?

“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” And a collar winds up around your neck.

“Eh????” You ask, lightly tugging at the collar. “What the fackin hell is this shit? Y’all really out here puttin’ collars and shit on people... in the middle of the day too... wow...”  You mutter, slipping into a country accent.

Flash! You hear a snap of a camera and turn to look at another person with a feather duster on his head- why does he have a feather duster- you know what, its cute, and you like it. You reach up and begin petting it, effectively blocking the phone he’s holding.

“Eto, prefect? You’re kinda- woah!” You look at him with a glazy eyes from those 2 days of non stop watching.

"Are you a...” You ponder, biting your lip as you blink repeatedly. “Are you... a fuck boy?”

(“CATER’S A FUCK- CATER’S F-FUCK- AHAHAHAHA-” Ace wheezes in the background as Deuce starts laughing harder, neither of them caring that they have collars on their first day back.)

Fuck boy has a bewildered look on his face, but before you could see his reaction, another hand goes to tug you back. You look up and... is that... is that lettuce, you see? No no way, it... it kinda looks like broccoli, though..

“Let’s get you to bed, prefect.” The broccoli tells you firmly, but like hell are you listening to a broccoli! Fuck man, you got higher standards then that, come on!

“No! I’m not listening to a broccoli!” You duck, effectively pulling out of his grasp and ran inside to wherever room you’re in and slam it shut. “YOU’RE NEVER GETTING ME, BROCCOLI MAN!!!”

(”Bro---brocoll-” This time, it’s Deuce’s time to collectively pound weakly at the dirt, one hand holding onto Ace’s shoulder as he looses it.)

Eventually, you slump on the ground and slowly... you don’t hear the brocolli’s voice anymore.. which is good (but like, why does his voice sound so... sexy??? Like, why??? It doesn’t make any... sense...)

---

Ace and Deuce finish from their laughing stock, having to hold on to the third years to get up from their position. “We’ll go check on the prefect.” Deuce tried to say, a snort or two making its way to the sentence.

“HAH- KINKY- KINKY FUCK BOY BROCCOLI--- AHAHAHAHAHA-” Ace was still loosing it as he walked inside, a tear streaking down his face. “I love the prefect so fucking much.”

Laughter bubbles up against Deuce’s throat as he walks in. “F...Fuck...boy...”

“W-where is the prefect, anyway?” They immediately see you, slumped against the hallway, snoozing away. With their strong powers, they gently lift and place you on the sofa, amidst all the gunk and shit that’s piled up.

“Ew, what were they even doing?” Ace cringes, looking at the mess. “It smells like shit.”

“They’re watching ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’- oh.” Deuce nods, in extreme understanding. He too, has pulled all-nighters with his gang to watch this series... oh how they cried like mad.

“Oh, that show... it’s bad. I don’t like it.”

“What?!” Deuce swiftly turns around. “But its really good!”

“No, it’s not, what? You got some poor taste, Juice.”

“It’s Deuce, not Juice! And you’re the one with poor taste!”

They bicker all the way, until they’re lovingly threatened by Riddle to NOT say a word, or its way more then off with your head, got it~?

SAVANACLAW

An extremely good-looking lion man- lion man, the fuck???- who lazily looks around at your dorm. Behind him is an EVEN better looking man, this one with a very fluffy tail and BEEG ears and BEEG body and my god, wow... he also sexy- like, sexier then lion man.

“Furry?” You mutter, your eyes falling onto another boy with animal-like ears and tail, except he’s shorter then the two, but his eyes seem to have more light in them.

“Happy New Year, prefect~!” He cheers on, his small tail wagging- oh that is cute oh my fuck- oh shit-

“...what the fuck? Why the fuck are there furries?” You gasp in alarm, running your hands through your hair in a frantic manner. “HAVE I MISSED A FUCKING GENERATION OF FURRIES?!”

“NONONONO NO NO NO THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY- NO-” You scream, falling onto the floor and grabbing a piece of your hair.

A shadow seems to loom over you, and you can feel something fluffy- or maybe that’s just you. “Prefect, are you okay- not like I’m worried, or anything, but...?” That line seems like something you’ve heard, but from where?

“Has the herbivore lost their mind?” Sexy lion man can be heard asking in the back, his voice quickly slipping into a yawn.

“Are ya worried, Leona?” The smaller guy teases, a ‘shi shi shi’ going past his lips.

“Tch.”

Well they seem like good friends- nice.

“I’m fine-” You look up and BAM WOAH WHAT IS THAT- SOMEONE’S PANTS AREA THING NOPE-

“I’M NOT FINE FUCKKKKKKK!” You scream back. The guy jumps back.

“Prefect, are you possessed?”

“By this stage? I might as well fucking be- HAH!” And you snort at that- it’s not even funny, you moron. “Oh, and also sexy lion man- yeah I’m talking to you, yeah you-” You point at said man. “I’m not a herbivore, okay? Like, I’m not a vegan (NO OFFENSE TO THE VEGANS OUT THERE), umm...” You slip into a dramatic accent where everything becomes more pronounced.

“I’m a fucking omnivore, and if you wanna like, insult me, please do it right. Thanks.” You pose, your hands making a heart shape, before slumping onto strong boy’s arms.

“Pfft- AHAHAHAH-” And Ruggie’s gone and lost his shit, because what’d you expect, right?

Leona looks surprised, before becoming very irritated, dragging Ruggie by the scruff/neck and walking away, leaving Jack to deal with you.

His seniors out of earshot and eyeshot, he glances at your sleeping form, which was nuzzling up to him, sighing in bliss as the warmth surrounds you.

He lets out a snicker despite his best efforts not too. Goodness, you surprise him every day.

He easily brings you inside with a princess carry, making sure to respectfully touch only your legs and you back to support you.

He glances at your sleeping form- what on earth were you doing that could keep you up so late, anyways? Oh, he finds out by passing through the living room, TV still on.

He finds your bedroom and lays you down there, not bothering to bring Grim inside- just kidding, he absolutely brings Grim in because he knows how much you love each other, but you didn’t hear that from me~

He glances at your form again and brushes some hair out of your face. The steady rise and fall of your chest eases him. Maybe he should stay here, just in case you wake up and act like THAT again and that’s something he’s sure a lot of people aren’t ready to witness.

He takes a chair and sits in front of you, once again having his eyes trained on you, seeing he has nowhere to look at.

A content smile passes your lips, and he smiles at that. What kind of dreams are you having, he wonders? (Little did he know its about him)

Wait.

If he’s waiting for you like this, isn’t that what you usually do for friends?! He stands up immediately, regretting his actions just as fast as he notices you squirm, sighing in relief as you settle back down onto your dazed state again.

“Happy New Year, prefect. Let’s make more memories together.” He mutters lowly, far too low for you to hear but somehow, you smile at just the right moment.

He leaves quickly, a red blush adorning his cheeks. No, that does NOT make him happy in the slightest! His tail isn’t wagging, his ears aren’t red, you’re lying!

Right?

Wrong.

Yeah, right.

Oh, god damn you and making him so confused!

OCTAVINELLE

An incredibly good-looking gent, with a smile on his face that doesn’t look as nice as it should. And look, he’s got a fedora! That speaks fancy~

“Happy New Year, pre-” You take the fedora and slap it onto your head, to the surprise and subsequent irritation of this man.

Or octopus. Honestly, they radiate the same vibe, so you wouldn’t know.

Then, you began doing the Orange Justice (cringe) as you hum- “Mhph, then you break it down! Down! Down! High! Down!”

“Is shrimpy-chan okay?” Oh what the fuck he’s so tall- THERE’S ANOTHER ONE YOU’RE SEEING THINGS-

“Oya oya.” HE HAS ARA-ARA ENERGY OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS- NONONONONO-

“Ara ara? Ara ara ara~ ara ARA!” You reply in kind, switching to a weird boogie as you sing offkey about a song.

“Under the sea~~~ under the sea~~ something, something, du do do do, under the sea~ under the grass, and till they fall~ ahhhh!!!” You grab the gent’s hands and drag him to you, paying very close attention to your feet as you attempt to tap dance.

The gent splutters indigation, so you leave him be and focus on your feet.

“Ne, that sounds fun!” The 1st double says, following you to dance- except he’s doing way better then you.

“Wha- how the fuck- that’s good! How the fackkkk... fuck... fucking... fucking fucking wop wop!” You giggle, trying to imitate his dance.

“Hehe, shrimpy’s funny when they’re tired!” Double 1 says, grabbing your waist as you shout in fright.

“Jade, maybe we should-”

“Let them be, Azul.”

Upon closer inspection, you realize that this ‘Jade’ has resonating vibes with Sebastian from Black Butler- wait, is this the twin cliche?! Where there’s the crazy one and the other’s the sane one?! But then again, he has that scary smile on his face... hmm, maybe that theory should be left alone.

You, still Double 1′s arms, shout: “Come on butler man! Join us!!!”

“Butler... are you referring to me?” He sounds surprised.

“Yeee! Come on dude,let’s vibeeee-” You stop mumbling and began singing again. “Oh oh, I’m a rebel just for kicks now! OWAH!!!”

“Owah~~” Double 1 joins, and Jade with a grin, joins in. “Owah~”

“...owah...” The gent also joins, albeit in a softer tone.

“What else, shrimp- eh??? They’re asleep!” Floyd pouts as he gazes at your non-moving body. “No fun.”

“Oya, maybe we should bring them back to their couch. It looks like a nice place to be.” Jade remarks, looking at the pile of chips and snacks on the floor. Floyd shruges, dropping you with a thud, but you don’t seem to wake up. Jade picks you up for Floyd and brings you to the couch.

Azul cringes at the sight of messy chips. “It’s giving me heartburn just looking at it.”

“Don’t lie, Azul. We saw you eating the same thing yesterday~” Floyd teases, a wide grin placate on his face.

“...I could’ve sworn nobody saw me! How...” Azul mumbles to himself, a red flush on his face.

“They’re asleep. We should leave them be.” Jade suggests, walking back to the group.

Azul nods. “There’s nothing I can make a deal about, anyway. And, the benevolent sea witch wouldn’t agree with that, wouldn’t she?”

"Yeah! Goodnight, shrimpy!” Still, you don’t reply, but Floyd looks happy enough since he hoists Azul up from his stand and walks out with him, princess style.

“F-floyd, put me down!”

“Nah, Jade looked really happy holding Shrimpy, so I’ll do the same to you~”

“Floyd!”

Jade walks behind them, watching as they have their fun.

Did I really look that happy? He glances back at your living room and gives a rare, sincere smile to the dimly lit room.

“Goodnight, prefect. I hope to get along with you better.” He whispers to himself, before closing the door gently behind and catching up to his brother.

SCARABIA

Sunshine??? in the form of a... homo sapient???? and a snake??? why the fuck-???

“Happy New Year, prefect! I brought you some food, a few blankets and oh!” The sunshine greets, giving you things, which you don’t have the strength to take, but nod as thanks anyways. He hands you a carpet, incredibly soft, 100% quality. “A carpet- eh, prefect?! Are you okay?!” The sunshine fusses, grabbing your cheeks in worry.

You melt, easing into the touch. “I’m okay now.” You lazily reply, giving him a slow wink. “Haha, get it? Cause- cause you’re here, and you’re the sun, and you’re cute, so like... haha? No?” You don’t let him reply as you sigh and nod, taking his hands of your cheeks. “Alright.”

The sunshine grins at your attempt. “I don’t really know what you mean, but thanks!” Oh my god he’s so cute-

“...hopefully, these things can dress up your broken- er, rustic house.” The snake replies, watching your behavior with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

You son of a bitch-

“Look, snake-man. No no no no, look at me. Watashi no eyes, you look at eyes- you see my eyes?” You stalk towards the snake, squinting at the bright sun (2 suns) as you trudge towards him. “Y-you see? Yeah, these eyes have tried their FUCKING best to fix up this dorm, so please, bro, please don’t like, mock it cuz like-- it’s really fucking hard- and you know why?!”

“Why?” The sunshine questions, just as you hope (but for some reason, the snake has backed away and is guarding the sunshine. You wonder why.)

“Lemme tell you why- lemme tell you why. So, this bird-man bitch boy I don’t fucking know, right-” The snake sort of laughs at this description as sunshine nods. “This guy, right, leaves ALL this SHIT to me- like BITCH, did you see the fucking state of this... I don’t know, um, SHACK?!” You point aggressively at the house. “Yeah man, it was SHIT! Like, there were holes, rats on the ground, and there were a insects everywhere...” Oho, snake seems to tense up at this, walking towards sunshine in a scared manner.

“The wood was rotting, it smelled like mold... the couches were moldy, the BED was moldy... it was... it was FUCKING shit mate, like the fuck?! You expect me to clean up that shit in what, like...” You bring up your fingers, not even counting. “Three fucking days? Like what the fucking hell, bitch? I’d like to- to- to know what the fuck crossed his mind, like the fuck, you know?”

“That seems hard, prefect. Do you want us to help?” The sunshine offers, but the snake interjects, saying: “Kalim (oh, so his name is Kalim, huh? Cute name for a cute guy!), how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t-”

“But it looks like they’re having a really hard time!” Kalim argues, pouting and looking at you pitifully, and you give the snake a woeful mourning face. The snake glares at you, before sighing heavily. Ah, damn, you feel kind of bad.

“Nah, it’s okay sunshine, I can handle it. Oh, by the way, have ya seen my baby?” You say nonchalantly, describing your feline friend.

“Baby?” The snake pales. “You have a baby?!”

“Prefect, why do you have a baby?” The sunshine panics too, eyes widening, forgetting the nickname you gave him.

“Yeah, I do! Wanna see-” Slump! You fall onto the ground before you can finish your sentence, leaning across the snake’s legs.

“Oh... they’re probably talking about Grim...” Jamil realizes, sighing in relief at the thought.

“Oh yeah, that’s probably it! Hehe, we think alike, Jamil!” Kalim grins, much to the chagrin of Jamil.

“Yeah, yeah, we do. Now come on-” Jamil lifts up your body, princess style and grunts. “Help me open the door.”

“Sure thing!” Kalim hums, opening the door. “What do you think they were doing, looking so tired?”

Jamil shrugs, walking inside ASAP, first giving the dorm a quick sweep with his eyes- he isn’t quite sure how to feel about the bugs you said. They pass by the living room and upon seeing the disarray, nod in understanding.

“Kalim, can you clean it while I put the prefect back in their room?” Kalim nods and gets to work, rolling up his sleeves.

Jamil smiles, nodding as he walks towards your bedroom, opening it with his foot. Surprisingly, it looks WAY cleaner then your living room- you really did stay up all night to watch whatever show was on, huh? The bed isn’t even creased.

Jamil sets you down gently, and you immediately roll to the side, sighing in comfort. He watches as the crumbs of snacks fall onto the bed, and thanks the graces that its not Kalim’s, or his bed that got the food spilled, phew.

Speaking of Kalim, how is he faring? Jamil walks back to the living room, fully expecting to see Kalim get distracted, but much to his ACTUAL surprise, the room is a quarter cleaned. The crisps are thrown in the trash bin and the blankets are folded up, albeit not neatly.

Jamil smiles, a little bit proud of Kalim. “Kalim?”

“Here. Shh, not so loud. Grim’s sleeping.” Kalim whispers back, waving from the kitchen. “I’m trying to clean the dishes, but...”

“Here, let me teach you.” And so, they two do their best to help clean the living room until it’s up to Jamil’s standard.

“I bet they’ll feel surprised when they wake up!” Kalim giggles, happy that it’s clean.

“I hope so, it’ll be a waste if we did all this and they didn’t notice.” Jamil frowns, crossing his arms, satisfied. “I’m sure they liked the gifts, Kalim?”

“Really?! I didn’t go overboard, right?!” Kalim worries, looking at Jamil in concern.

“You always do.” Was Jamil’s snide remark.

“Jamil!” Kalim pouts, and Jamil nods.

“It’s true.”

“Aww... I thought I really... aww...” Kalim shakes his head, cheering up immediately. “There’s always next time! Let’s visit Heartslabyul next, Jamil!”

“Let’s go.” And Kalim rushes out, shouting a ‘Happy New Year!’ to the dorm, despite his previous warning. Jamil says nothing, echoing his behavior as they walk out.

(And it’s true. After 14 hours or so, you wake up, walked towards the living room, and cried the SHIT out of your eyes. It really was nice to see, you know?)

DIASOMNIA

 You can’t distinguish who the fuck this person is, but they’re definitely tall. 

“Who the fucking hell??? Is so fucking tall?” You ask in a whisper. “Hello?”

“Don’t talk to Malleus-sama that way, human!” A guy that looks similar to a cucumber yells. 

“Shut up, my guy. Oh shit, sorry I probably sound really fucking rude hah.” You snort, pinching the nose of your bridge. “Um, what can I do for you? Or something?”

“You look pale.” A softer voice comments. You turn to look at him and oh fucking HELL he looks so... soft??? Princely???

“Woah.” You breathe, grabbing his face. He quickly pushes you off, but you don’t mind. “What the fuck... Your face??? Is?? Nice???” 

“Thank... you...?” He says strangely, stepping away. “Da- LIlia-sama, I think we should leave. ___ doesn’t seem to feel well.”

“Nonsense, ___’s fine. It’s probably just lack of sleep.” You let out a bark at that. 

“Hah, lack of sleep. More like lack of heat!” You giggle at that- why did you giggle at that it literally makes no sense. You turn to look at this ‘Lilia’ person and holy shit, is that a d i l f ?

“...Dilf?” You mutter, stetching out your hand to touch this short emo man. “Emo???”

“What is a dlif?” Emo man’s face contorts into confusion, one that is not often seen in his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that phrase...”

“Dad’s I’d Like to Fuck, because damn bro, you look- you look like you raised hot kids and set them on a frying pan do you get me, cuz like you’re also sexy? I don’t... yeah.” You nod  heavily at your sentence. 

Emo man and prince-looking guy’s face contorts into a grin and a horrified look respectively. Tall man seems to have the same face as prince-looking guy, while Cucumber just... freezes. 

“Are y’all okay??? You know what, I don’t- I don’t have- I’m not- I’m- I’VE GOT THE APPLE BOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS- BUTTS- BUTTS WITH THE FURRR, THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING AT HER~” You break out into a song, changing your voice to a country accent. 

“SHE TOOK THE FLOOR AND GOT THE JEANS AND WENT LOW LOW LOW low low low low...” You sync in with the music, going lower to the beat until you lay your body on the ground and slowly lose sight (or blurry shapes) in front of you.

You don’t know what happens next, but you do know that someone’s riding a small cow. With big horns. And hair? With the bit of consciousness you have left, you reach up to touch the cow horns. 

“Sick...” You mutter, and your hands fall slack on the small cow’s horns and you finally fall into well-deserved sleep.

EXTRA

“Lilia.”

"SEE SILVER, I TOLD YOU THAT PEOPLE WOULD-”

“I DON’T NEED TO HEAR IT, DAD!”

“NONE OF US DO!”

“Lilia.”

“I- I’M A DILF- I- I’M A DILF- HAH, I’M- OW OW OW... ow.. my back... oh, yes... Malleus?”

“I’m bringing the human inside.”

“Sure..- argh, ow ow ow... Silver, Sebek, come help me!”

“Yes, old man...”

“...”

“Pfft... a dilf... a dilf....” Malleus snickers at your naming choices, lighting up candles that you’ve strategically set. Once the lights are on, he can’t help but squint at the messiness of your dorm. He walks past the living room and opens your simple bedroom door, placing you on your bed. You don’t seem to be unbetrubed, but you squeezing something in the air. Ah, perhaps you’re looking for the cat? 

Poof! Grim instantly nuzzles into you, and you both sign at the warm heat between you. Malleus smiles at the sight and leans closer to you, and whispers: “Happy New Year, child of man. Let’s make more memories together.” He gazes at your simple room, and his eyes falls at your bedside table. He smiles fondly at the picture on your bedside table. It’s you, Grim and him in Ramshackle’s living room, you making flower crown as you bitch on about physics, Grim agreeing and complaining as well. 

He gives you a small pet on the head and disappears in neon butterflies. 

“Shall we go?”

“Oh, young whisperer, you’re back. I take it ___ is back in their bedroom?”

A smile blooms on Malleus’ face. “Yes, now let’s go.”

“Dilf.. dilf...”

“I can’t... dilf... I can’t.. no...”

*

I don’t fucking know what this is

I just thought--- lilia... is a dad.... and he sexy

and memes... and i created this fic

please enjoy it

[tendousthoughts]

His Bear

Y/n or Ship(s): Ship (AsaNoya)

Genre: Angst with fluff ending

Warning(s): fouls language (cursing)

Summary: He was bear. My boyfriend. I love him. I was his and he was mine. But I fucked up. He told me to stop with these stupid fucking pranks and I don’t and I hurt him. I knew when I said those words and his face changed, I knew I took it too far. He was crying and all I could say was “it is a prank”. Fuck. Why did I do that to him, now he is done. We are done. He left and it is all my fault. He told me not to contact him but I just want to be in his arms again. I wish I never did the prank. I wish I never did that to him. I wish we talked this out, or he would scream at me for being so fucking dumb. I wish he would do anything but what he did. I didn’t want him to leave... I wish he didn’t. He needs space though so even though I love him so much, I am going to give him that. I can’t keep hurting him. So I’ll change for him.

A/N: I decided to make this a fanfic. I love this idea and I find it really cute. Whatever you want next please request. I really really really would love some request I have nothing to do with my time. Go ahead as well as just talk to me anon is okay- I just wanna chat! Also guess who did that “hey mamas” chin rub thing to my sister (as a joke) and they forgot their camera was on. Heh. Ya, I also ate some pen ink yesterday- How are you doing?

Getting Tired

Noya set up the camera and sat on the bed.

Click

There came Asahi with a smile. “Asahi I think we should take a break..” Nishinoya said.

“What?” His smile soon faded. Tears were already in his eyes.

“Um I think we should take a break” Nishinoya avoided eye contact.He knew that any second he would have to say it was out of hand.

“Are you being serious?” His tears were rolling down his cheek and he started to pack.

“W-wait bear I was kidding!” Nishinoya ran up to him.

“Nishinoya. I think.” Asahi seemed to try and make out the words.

“I think we should take a break, these pranks are getting too much and I can’t keep getting hurt by these. I have told you and you don’t understand. They hurt me, a lot. I don’t know what is real and what is fake. I need a break. From us, from you... I will be out by later tonight. Just please don’t contact me. I contact you when I am ready..”

Nishinoya began to cry a bit but just stood there stunned. “I didn’t mean to-”

“I know you didn’t mean to. Yet for some reason it hurt more. It is like you don’t know me... You know I get self conscious and so do you. You promised to stop doing these and I promised to try to give you more attention. I know lately I haven’t given you a lot but you know I’ve been trying hard, and so have you. But this prank was a lot Nishinoya. You took it too far.” Asahi looked at him biting his lip grabbing his stuff. “Bye.” He whispered as he shut the door behind him.

He had left a couple jackets but most of it was packed. All he left was that. That night they both cried themselves to sleep.

Late Night Drinks

I miss him.. I fucked up though.. I am fucked up right now aren’t I? ~ Nishinoya

It has been two months and Asahi hasn’t reached out. Nishinoya had a job but he spent his Fridays every night going out drinking with Tanaka or someone else. He wasn’t an emotional drunk most of the time, he was more of a partier when he drank. Few times he ranted or cried while drinking.

“One more please!” Nishinoya called out.

“You sure that’s a good idea? You have had a lot to drink already..” Tanaka intervened.

“Ya, ya I don’t care just pass me another!” Nishinoya laughed, “I want to get married for the heck of it tonight. You think anyone else wants to?” He smiled clearly not in the right state of mind. “They can wear whatever they can be whoever! They just need to be a chill person like ‘Sahi..” he mumbled thinking for a second and then taking a sip from his drink.

“Uh I don’t know but I think we should start wrapping up you know?” Tanaka smiled softly at his friend.

God he is entirely different without Asahi.. Ugh I don’t feel so well.. ~ Tanaka

“Okay okay~ But if I get married tonight I want you to be my best man okay? I want it to be perfect!” Nishinoya smiled and grabbed his phone.

“What are you doing?” Tanaka looked confused as tears began to fall from Nishinoya’s eyes.

“Pick up.. Pick up..” He mumbled ignoring the question. The ringing stopped and he was met with the voice he needed to hear.

“Nishinoya?” Asahi sounded confuse, “I told you no-”

“Heyyyy!! I am thinking about getting married and I want you thereeee!!” Nishinoya laughed tears rolling down as Tanaka grabbed the phone.

“Uh sorry to whoever this is, Nishinoya is pretty drunk- Sorry for bugging you!” Before he could hang up Asahi spoke up.

“Is he um..” Asahi started.

“Oh Asahi! What’s up dude! Noya dude why did you call Asahi?” Tanaka chuckled as incoherent words came from what he assumed to be Nishinoya.

“Is he okay without me? Like do you think he misses me or-” Asahi started when Tanaka cut him off.

“You guys are the same. Always so insecure. Yes he misses you. Why else would he get wasted every Friday since you broke up? NOYA DON’T DO THAT!” Tanaka screamed.

“What is happening is he okay?” Asahi worriedly stated.

“This IDIOT won’t stop getting up to dance on the stage.” Tanaka chucked.

“Uh do you want me to pick him up?” Asahi mumbled.

“You got to talk louder, don’t forget we are at a bar with loud music and people screaming along!” Tanaka called.

“Oh um you want me to pick him up?” Asahi said louder.

“Sure I’ll send the address.” Tanaka sent the address and they returned the phone to Nishinoya.

“BYE BYE! I AM GOING NOW TO GET MARRIEDDDD~” there is a faint no Asahi can hear from the phone and then Nishinoya became to ramble. “BUT BEAR WON’T MARRY ME SO I GOT TO FIND SOMEONE TO BE MY FOREVER AND THEN WE CAN START A FAMILY AND THEN I CAN UMM I CAN SEE BEAR!” He laughed as tears fell faster and harder. He missed Asahi.

“Nishinoya?” Asahi talked.

“MHM BEAR?” Noya screamed

“I am coming soon okay? Be safe and don’t go get married please? For me?” He whispered, tearing up. “Wait for me okay?”

“OKAYYY~” Noya smiled a bit.

“No more drinks either wait for me..” he hung up.

Wait for me.. Please. Wait for your bear... ~ Asahi

Long Drive

Asahi got there walking in. He immediately spotted the small boy.

There you are.. ~ Asahi

Nishinoya ran up and jumped up on Asahi, “BEAR!” He was crying and he held on tight.

“I’m here it is going to be okay Noya..” he whispered as he held on to him taking in the scent of home.

“I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry” he kept crying as he held on.

“You want to go home..? We can talk about it tomorrow if you want?” He whispered in his ear.

“Mhm.. I missed you so much ‘sahi..” Nishinoya whispered as he closed his eyes and held on tight.

Asahi walked over to Tanaka who already had a ride too, “Hey we are heading out. Thanks.” He was rubbing Nishinoya back. His shirt damp with Nishinoya’s tears.

When they got to Asahi’s car it looked new. Slowly Asahi sat Nishinoya in the front and buckled him up. Nishinoya was mostly out of it still. But he knew where they were going and everything. On the center cup holders was a photo of them. Asahi went to the front and started up the car. He rested one hand on the center compartment.. normally he would have it rested on Noya’s thigh but he didn’t know if he would be okay with it.

“Can I hold your hand?” Nishinoya whined softly looking at it like it was a puppy.

“Uh.. I guess..” Asahi mumbled as he felt Nishinoya’s hand wrap around his, he turned a soft shade of pink. “Same place right?”

“Mhm” Nishinoya smiled a bit, feeling all warm inside.

“Hey um..” Asahi was a bit bothered by something from the phone call and he needed to get it off his chest, “were you actually going to marry someone? Or um were you looking for someone to marry?” He mumbled.

“I don’t know.. wait um.. I wouldn’t, for sure,” Nishinoya smiled a bit, asahi relaxing. “Can I ask you something now?”

“Sure..” Asahi was hesitant.

“Why did you come to pick me up? I hurt you a lot and then I call you for no good reason and then I grab onto you out of nowhere. I call you bear out of the blue even though I have no right to... I don’t see why,” Nishinoya seemed like he was just rambling but Asahi felt like he should answer it.

“I think I did it because I really missed you.. um and I found it as an opportunity to see you.. so i needed to take it, if that makes sense?” Asahi, “and if I’m being honest, I was kinda scared you were going to get married and I didn’t want to lose my chance of being with you. Just because I never reached out.

“Oh.. I missed you too,” Nishinoya mumbled. “Also you will never lose your chance. You are the only person I ever loved.. and probably will ever love.” He laughed a bit, closing his eyes. “I fucked up didn’t I, though? Like let us be honest it was all my fault. I pulled all those stupid pranks, you know?” Asahi didn’t know what to say. “No need to hide it from me, I already know!” Tears were flooding both of their eyes.

“No it wasn’t. Never will be and never has been..” Asahi whispered. “We are here..” he got out and picked up Nishinoya. “Are you okay with this?”

“Ya.. I’m all good with this.. By the way it is the same key.. if you still have it” he mumbled hissing his face in his shirt.

“Oh okay..” he carried him in. Nothing changed at all. He slowly walked around and found the closet picking out some clothes. He found his old hoodies and chuckled a bit to himself. “Here you can change” he handed him the clothes and walked out.

“Done..” Nishinoya called and Asahi walked back in.

“Um.. I should go now, I’ll talk to you tomorrow..” Asahi smiled at his hands.

“Can um.. you stay please?” He whispered, opening the blanket. “I haven’t been able to sleep really well and um.. I just think it is because I miss you.”

“Umm are you sure?” Asahi mumbled.

“Please. Only if you’re okay with it though.” He smiled.

“Uh I am fine with it I guess..” he slipped in and tried to position his hands but in the end he was big spooning Nishinoya and holding him as Nishinoya snored. His hands made their way to Nishinoya finding some rubber bands he began to tear up.

Fuck.. I have missed you so much ~ Asahi

Soulmates

When the morning came so did the hangover. Nishinoya woke up first with a terrible headache but he didn’t want to leave to get the medicine. When Asahi woke up though he immediately went and grabbed some water and medicine.

“Thanks..” he mumbled as he took the pill and some water. Remembering everything from the night prior. “Sorry about bugging you.. like to lay with me and all.” He avoided eye contact. “I shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that.” He whispered.

“Noya it is fine I don’t mind.. I missed it so um. Can we talk though?” He sat next to him.

“Mhm,” Nishinoya looked up.

“Can I start?” Asahi smiled a bit as Noya shook his head yes. “I am sorry. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me and that week I hadn’t been paying much attention to you. I should have thought about it knowing that you mentioned it to me before. I knew you get insecure with thinking I don’t need you, and I am guessing leaving you didn’t help that. Neither did I text or call you. I should have thought about it for a second before I did so. I was scared, mad, sad, and just in all hurt. I didn’t want us to end and at the end of the day that’s what happened.. Last night when I saw you I just, I couldn’t believe you were the same person. I mean drinking every fucking Friday. Fuck. That much I’m guessing? I mean god. I really fucking wished I didn’t do that. I should of let us talk first. I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry Noya..”

Noya thought for a second, “um.. I am sorry. I knew that you hated those stupid fucking pranks. I knew that you were having a tough week that week and I shouldn’t have done that even if I wanted more attention. I hurt you. I broke our promise. I shouldn’t have and I want to apologize for that. I want to also apologize for doing that to you yesterday. You told me not to contact you until you did first. I couldn’t even listen to that. I shouldn’t have done that for all I know you lied last night and were super uncomfortable. As well as asking you to lay with me. We are broken up, and I can’t do that. It was uncalled for and completely disrespectful of your boundaries. I know that I shouldn’t have done it yet I still did. I am sorry.” He clutched the blanket as tears flooded his eyes.

“Noya can I ask you something..?” Asahi asked.

“Mhm go ahead,” Nishinoya mumbled

“Um do you still have romantic feelings for me or um are they gone..?” He whispered.

“I still like you. If we are being honest,” he smiled a bit.

“Me too.. I like you a lot.. by any chance can we retry this whole love thing..?” Asahi asked, smiling hopefully.

“Ya for sure...” Nishinoya smiled.

“Can I kiss you..?” Asahi asked softly.

“Of course..” Nishinoya laughed. Salty tears mixed in with the sweet warmth of their lips meeting.

I love you so much Asahi.. thank you for giving me a second chance ~ Nishinoya

Thank you Noya.. I’ve missed you. I love you. I love you. I love you.. ~ Asahi

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

[prinxlyart]

I will say, I am hungry again and I have a few ask for your Willumity/Vinira headcannons. HOWEVER to be fair to you. This time I will restrain myself and simply ask for you to share any headcanons you want to share as of now!

You can ALWAYS ask for more Willumity.

A L W A Y S

But!! Since you’ve given me free reign to just play in this sandbox, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do

We all agree that Luz is hella ADHD. This girl will talk for HOURS about the shit she likes. If something grabs her attention, she wants to know everything about it. She doesn’t like being told to do things, but she loves being asked to do things. For example: if someone tells her she needs to do a thing her brain will immediately click into the “No” position and will refuse to budge. If someone asks her to do something, her brain clicks to “help? I can help? I can help with a thing for this person? Yes! I’ll help this person with this task because it will make them happy! Yes! I can help!” This is why acts of service resonate so strongly with her.

I don’t know what mental diversity looks like on the Boiling Isles considering how just. Horror-based everything is? But I’m 100% on that autistic Amity train. She has to do things a Certain Way or she’ll teeter on the edge of a meltdown. She refuses to touch/eat certain textures. She usually doesn’t know what the appropriate response/reaction is to a given conversation, especially with her socialite friends, which is why she just remains a cool mask of indifference. She’ll inspect every detail of anything that’s handed to her. She’s incredibly smart, but doesn’t always know how to convey what she knows and understands into words other people can understand. The only people allowed in her personal space are her siblings. Eventually that also stems to Luz and Willow, maybe more as she grows more comfortable with herself? But usually anyone getting in her space is overwhelming and alarming. Defo has a hard time regulating/processing her emotions.

I need to make an entire post dedicated to Augustus Porter because my boy deserves it, but I’ll toss some random things here. He has a signed poster from the head of the Illusionist Coven framed on his bedroom wall. He and his dad have bi-weekly after-dinner standup comedy sessions with each other (Perry has kept a secret journal of all of Gus’s best jokes he’s done over the years that he reads whenever he needs a pick-me-up).

Perry and Eda knew each other in school in passing. Their social circles overlapped but they were never hanging out in the same groups. When Gus is very little (like, maybe 3 or 4?), Perry takes him to the market to just wander around and they find Eda’s Human Collectibles Stand. She and Perry catch up, he introduces her to his son, and Eda (ever the saleswoman) pulls out some shiny human thing that Gus is immediately taken with. In between her and Perry catching up, Gus asks her a million questions about the thing he’s been given and then even more questions about other stuff at her stand. She actually finds it really fun to show off her human shit to someone so enthralled by it. She makes some stuff up here and there just to mess with him, but he’s too young to realize it’s a joke or not true, and takes everything at face value. We all know Eda likes to get a little theatrical with her sales pitches; she does the Salesperson act with everything Gus asks her about. She lets Gus take a couple items home just because he was such a riot and Perry insists he pay for something, but Eda just waves them off and tells him that this is just an investment in a lifelong customer. She had no idea how right she was because Gus defo became obsessed with human culture from that point on. He also picked up on Eda’s super theatrical sales pitches (because he thought it was funny and because he thought that’s just how you’re supposed to show human stuff to people) and began showing off his own “human collectibles museum” to his dad with the same theatrical voice. Perry plays along with this too (as a news anchor he’s got a great announcer voice) and ta-da! That’s how we get the boy we all know and love today. It’s 100% Eda’s fault, but Perry definitely encouraged it because it made his son so happy. That’s also why Gus doesn’t seem especially perturbed at meeting Eda for the first time in ep 3. Or for interjecting his new Human Knowledge in the moment she was patting Luz’s head. He’s used to having conversations with her about human junk whenever she has her stand up. Eda’s secretly relieved that one of Luz’s new friends is actually someone she kinda knows. It’s Perry’s kid, and Perry’s a good guy. His little squirt seems to be growing up to be pretty good too.

Eda scoffs at “nerdy” shit as if she hasn’t owned the Clawthorne Braincell her entire life. “She worked twice as hard” “-that just made me work harder than you!”. Eda’s extremely smart and extremely talented. She likely created the secret room of shortcuts entirely on her own. She probably studied in the school library constantly, but under the guise of causing mischief. And like. She probably did both. She was a potions track kid so she probably knew all the best ways to make stink bombs that she could leave hidden in the shelves. She hated school because she was so limited and stifled; she only wanted to learn magic and was told no at every turn. So when she learned magic on her own, yknow, without the guidance of a teacher, there’s bound to be some major fuck ups. Once she’s fine-tuned her mistakes though, she absolutely turns them into pranks. You say I’m not allowed to study multiple tracks, bumpikins?? Well how’s THIS!!! How’s THAT for focus??? (Half of her pranks were also just her showing off and desperately hoping to prove that she could learn any type of magic and couldn’t be constrained to just the one. Bump recognized this of course, but he had strict guidelines to follow and no Luz Noceda to call him out for it.)

Camila treasures her daughter more than life itself. I personally refuse to headcanon anything to do with her extended family or why she’s a single parent (too many variables and options that could be addressed in the show), but I do know that she loves Luz more than anything. It’s exhausting being a single mom, working as a nurse, and trying to be there for her ADHD daughter when the rest of the world doesn’t seem to want her. It hurts her so much to see her baby, the light of her life, her Luz, be brushed aside and written off as “the weirdo”, or bullied, or even outright hated by some people just because she’s a little different. She’s had to have some words with the school staff for how they treat her on occasion. Did you see that Principal’s death glare in the first ep?? He hates her. Camila’s there not just because she’s Luz’s parent, but also to act as a barrier between the principal and Luz. She would move Heaven and Earth for Luz, but it can be a lot when you’re the only adult around. I truly believe she wanted Luz to go to that camp to learn how to be friends with kids that didn’t already know her or her quirks. Even she sounded unsure of what they would do at that camp, but she had full faith that this would be Luz’s opportunity to make friends with other kids that could teach her to like....more mainstream stuff. So she could learn how to mimic their (hopefully, toned down) behaviors. She just wants her baby to be accepted by others.

This next one’s a doozy so hold on to your butts

Lilith is technically smart. And I mean that in a literal sense - she can read and understand the fundamentals of magic, the concepts and execution of complex spells, recite entire chapters of Boiling Isles history, you name it. Many adults in her youth called her gifted because of it. All she actually did was absorb the information and regurgitate it when asked. She thrived on the praise she received. What made her different from her sister is that she never wanted anything more than to do as she was told. Her biggest goal? Her dream job? Was to just be given orders by the Emperor. I’m sure there’s all sorts of flowery propaganda surrounding that, advertising how incredible it is to be in the Emperor’s Coven, what an honor it is to work alongside the witch that can speak to the Titan. But it’s literally just. Taking orders. And knowing you’re somehow better than everyone else because you’ve been selected to be among the elite. She never strived for anything more; she never wanted to do anything else but enforce the Emperor’s will because that was “the highest honor” a witch could have. As a result (or in conjunction rather) she lacks literally any amount of foresight. There’s only one braincell in the Clawthorne Family and her sister has it because this dumbass doesn’t think about anyone but herself. Instead of talking with Eda about what they should do when they were told there was only one spot left in the Emperor’s Coven, she walked away. Only thinking of how she could secure her victory. She didn’t ask Eda how she felt about the situation, she didn’t let Eda speak her mind about what her own desires were; Eda made it clear enough that she just wanted to be by Lilith’s side, she didn’t care what that meant. She just wanted to be with her big sister. Eda tried to reach out to her to discuss their cirumstances, but Lilith just walked away like the broody, self-centered teenager that she was and resolved to cheat her way to victory. When Eda knew this was her dream. Why would she think Eda would take away her dream???? She could’ve asked Eda to throw the duel? She could’ve asked her to fake the match? Or even fake sick? Or just not even shown up! If she didn’t show up it could’ve counted as a forfeit and Lilith would’ve earned the spot by default! But no, she had to ruin her sister’s entire life in an act of cowardice and dishonor because she’s so full of herself and didn’t read the fine print. She loves her sister, of course she does, but she’s so self-absorbed that she’s never seen Eda for who she actually is and wasted both of their lives as a result. And this is all just analysis of her character and that flashback, this isn’t even headcanons. I think if she has any amount of respect for her sister (she doesn’t), her redemption will have to go far far beyond an apology and taking on half the curse. When I say Lilith is a dumbass, this is specifically what I mean. She doesn’t think about how her actions will affect those around her. She was the Head of the Emperor’s Coven, literally one of the most powerful positions she could possibly be in on the Boiling Isles and still sacrificed Amity’s dignity and years of hard work just so she could be ensured that she could one-up her sister. She did this in front of everyone in attendance of that Witches Duel. She risked Amity’s credibility as a witch, as a Blight, and as a person just to fuel her own ego. It’s no wonder Amity was so upset; the witch she’s been idolizing her whole life didn’t think she had what it took to best a human that couldn’t do magic in a witches duel. That can fuck up your self esteem something fierce. And Lilith hardly seemed to give a shit!!!! She didn’t care that she just trashed Amity’s reputation in front of dozens of spectators!!!! I’m v bitter about Lilith as a character in case you couldn’t tell.

If I had to throw a headcanon in, I’ll toss one in that sterling and I have discussed: Lilith literally doesn’t know how to live her life as an independent adult. Sure, she knows how to like. Make herself some easy dinners? But that’s literally only because she used to make herself and Eda dinners when they were kids. Beyond that, she has no fucking idea. She can do the basic household chores any teenager knows how to do, but she’s lived in the Emperor’s Castle with the rest of the Coven since she joined. It’s kind of like living in a college dorm; food and a room is provided, there’s maybe a laundry service, she’s never had to pay taxes in her life (not that Eda does, but yknow). The only things she buys for herself (if she doesn’t make it herself) is her hair dye and books. When she first moves in to the Owl House, she has no idea how the household chores are done. She’s on House Cleaning Duty Eternally and the first......I’ll say year. Eda will wake her up by banging pots and pans over her head once every month and scream-singing about how it’s House Cleaning Day, pull out her lawn chairs and some lemonade, and she and Luz (and sometimes King) will just sit back and relax and watch the show that is Lilith trying to clean Hooty. Hooty does not like to cooperate with her (partially because Lilith is a special friend and partially because he knows how much joy it brings Eda and Luz to watch her struggle).

Oof I could go on but this is already one hell of a post huh? Sorry (not really) for dragging Lilith so hard; not a joke, tumblr made me split hers up into two bullet points because it couldn’t comprehend my ranting for so long in one bullet point. I do love sharing these with y’all though, they’re so much fun and I’m so glad you guys like my rambling. <3333

[lunar-lair]

More headcanons from my main doc? Why of course.

(God this doc is so long, ple ase help me it's like 6k-)

Remus and Roman eventually thought up getting tattoos. They both have half of a heart on their right and left wrists respectfully. Remus' is red and Roman's is green, so when they hold up their wrists together, it makes a heart that's red on the left and green on the right. Both are outlined with orange, since that's what green and red are mixed together. 

Of course, it wasn't too hard of a decision, since conjuring a tattoo for them is as easy as waving their hand.

The others, though, don't have it that easy, so they end up asking them for their own hearts. All of them are whole, and their own color, and they're on their left wrist, since they're all left handed.

Just as Roman and Remus have nicknames for the others, Janus has his own set. 

For Roman, of course, they have their little two sided thing. He also calls him Sir Roman or My Knight at times, and does the same for Remus.

When the King was around, he called him accordingly, often addressing him as 'My King', sometimes with a bow.

If or when the twins ever fuse again, he may dust off the old name and bow once again, taking his hand and simply saying, "Hello, my new King."

The twins don't mind. (Being called the same name as him is...undesirable, as they aren't him anymore, but...at the same time, together, they are more. And besides, My King is an excellent name, and simply makes them feel royal. And they adore feeling royal.)

For Logan, he sometimes calls him Dr.Who, The Brain, or Mr.Logic.

Logan himself has some rebuttal nicknames, calling him Jekyll or Hyde depending on whether he's being nice or fuckin with him, like Roman and Janus' system.

For Patton, he'll call him Heart or simply Pat.

He's been calling Virgil Stormcloud for ages, same for Little Spider. 

He'll sometimes call Remus Little Rat, because Remus loves rats in general and also really wanted him to call him that when he was younger. Now it's just another nickname, really.

When Roman jokingly asked for a version of it for him, Janus answered seriously with 'Little Lion', and now that's a thing too. 

The others have their own nicknames for Janus, of course; Jan, Snake, Mr.Snake (though that's usually Patton or Remus when they're being Silly), Roman also uses Jekyll and Hyde sometimes, Scar (which is usually Remus, for shits and giggles), and whatever the hell else they end up thinking of.

I like to think the rooms work almost like they do in canon

Like they have the same layout as Thomas' actual apartment

But they can be changed slightly, whether that be certain fixtures like chandeliers or even shifting the layout of the area itself, though the twins are the best as this, of course.

And then there's the extension garden that they can go out the front door to find, too; all it takes is them simply deciding whether they wish to leave their rooms to the halls or to their garden. Though, it's isolated from the others, somehow, even though their rooms are right next to each other. The logic in it all is rather odd, and Logan has been trying to wrench an explanation from the twins for ages.

Roman and Remus themselves made their rooms much more extravagant, with the door to the Imagination being the closet closest to the door instead of...you know, a closet, and their couches much bigger. Even their kitchen is a much more decent size. Both of them made their bedrooms bigger, too, with their own canopy beds and an extra loveseat nestled in there. Not to mention all of the extra decorations they have everywhere. And, of course, they've got their desk, covered head to fucking toe with papers. Remus' looks disorganized, but to him, they are. Roman's are just disorganized.

They also have Balconies, Of Course, with seats and hanging plants and all

Remus really likes hanging off the balcony railing 

Like just hanging himself halfway like a towel out to dry or even just holding on to the bars and swinging around on the outside edge

Roman was a bit 'idk dude :////' at first but eventually he was just like 'ok yeah he just does that' and even sits on the railing every now and then when he's feeling Dangerous

Remus will sit on it, yeah, but he'll also rock back and forth really hard and walk on it precariously for shits and giggles

Roman just holds his hand and waters his/Remus' plants, just to make sure he doesn't fall, cause he doesn't know what's down there or how their rooms really work with these balconies that somehow don't show the other sides' rooms beside them and a long field a story or two below and he does not want to figure out how it does work by watching his brother fall into the abyss, even if he could probably snap himself back up

Janus has absolutely used that balcony to dry clothes before, whether over the railing or with a clothesline

It's rare, but he still uses the twins' balconies for that to this day

Patton made his own kitchen a lot bigger-for baking!!!-and his living room, too-for cuddling!!!!!!-and his bed a bit comfier-for sleeping well!!!!!!!-and overall, the whole place is just. A bit more,,,,,,Homey. And as we know, there are all those old items scattered about, along with a absolute fuck ton of old stuffed animals stacked up in his room.

Logan's room is almost exactly the same as Thomas' apartment, since he didn't see much reason in changing much. There are, however, some more science-y posters and memorabilia, and that damned picture has been changed to one with squares instead of circles, which makes much more sense to him. He also implemented a decently sized desk to work at, but beyond the garden, there isn't much change besides that.

Besides the decorations we've already seen, Virgil's room isn't too much different, mostly cause he thought it was fine and it felt nice and familiar. He made his bed a bit bigger and nicer, though, and made his closets bigger, Just In Case. He also has extra cabinet space and a bigger fridge, for Snack Storing. There's also a blanket and pillow on the couch 24/7 for when he wants to go to sleep w the TV on (mostly for having smth on in the bg), but that's less smth that's part of the room and more somethin Virge set up for himself.

Janus' room isn't much different either, honestly. Bit bigger rooms, just for the sake of the place being less cramped, and a good sized kitchen bc A Bitch Gotta Cook. His closets are a bit deeper, too, for storage reasons. He also has his own washer/dryer/dishwasher for when the ones in the main area get full and things are still a goddamn mess. He'll just snap it to his room to deal with later. He also has piles of laundry scattered about-mostly in his bedroom, so it doesn't clutter up the rest of the place. The Vibe is a bit different, too, with how he's decorated it. It's very...like...classy. I guess. Just...lots of black and gold. Very like...old fashioned, kinda. 

He also has a huge bed, partially for the fun of it, but partially because the other two used to come to him when they felt bad.

Now they do again, and it finally serves a purpose.

Rarely, the other three will even come to him, knowing he has a solution for their problems; they all have so much trouble with caring for themselves properly, and he knows about that, is all.

He's happy to let them come to him, really. It's his job to help them take care of themselves, anyways.

So ik we all write Patton as knowing how to clean and shit

But we all know how he actually is in canon

I'll give him the ability to cook for Family Dinner Purposes but I'm also saying he doesn't know how to clean for shit

The only one that cleaned before Janus came around was Logan, and that was purely because a clean area is better for someone to live in, not for any actual desire for things to be clean 

He was usually too busy doing other Important Logic Shit to clean anyways

So the dumbasses lived in relative dirtyness

Until Janus came along and flIPPED HIS SHIT

Basically, Janus got a good look at the light sides' area and went 'oh my god what the fuck.'

See, he's got all the Cleaning Want, being self preservation and all. Aka, yknow, wanting to keep your area clean so you feel better about shit. 

So even with Remus around, the dark sides' area is usually relatively clean, and when Virgil was still around, he kept his room clean, too.

He tries his best with Remus, but Remus has that kind of chaos where he knows how it works anyways, so he just does his laundry and not much else.

The first time he happened upon the light sides' area, though, he,,,,,yeah, he highkey flipped his shit.

All the others were there, so it was a whole ass show. Remus just laughed his ass off and Virgil just blankly stared, thinking 'yeah, I expected this.'

He flitted around the living room for a good while, cleaning things and saying 'why is this confounded place so dirty? There's laundry everywhere and the couch is a mess and the carpet! The carpet! How are you even living here?!' 

And the others finally found out where every drop of cleanliness went to.

They're at Janus' whims for a couple hours, forced to help him tidy up the area. Virgil and Remus are sent off easily, like trained troops out to war. Jan says 'Remus, dishes, Virgil...check that fucking closet.' (It was filled with random bullshit. No surprise honestly.) And they're off, with salutes and all.

By the end of the session, the living room is clean and Janus is vowing to keep this godforsaken place clean for once. 

"I'll take care of whatever it is you all need me to," he says, sighing as he closes the closet. "Just as long as this place stays clean, and as long as I'm the one that's allowed to handle it." He shrugged, a smile on his face. "It is rather fun after all."

Oh yeah, that's exactly where all the cleanliness went to.

He even asks to be allowed to see about helping the others with tidying their rooms up a bit. Even Remus mentions that his has gotten a little out of hand, surprisingly, and unsurprisingly, Roman is basically worshipping the ground he walks on, because his room is a fucking mess and he just. Doesn't know what to do with it.

(Remus eventually helps Roman figure out a good organization system For Him when Janus' system didn't really...work. They end up with smth super specific based on themes of items and shit.)

Virgil is first, since, with what he represents, he honestly doesn't have the energy for cleaning most of the time. (And yet, a messy area just makes him feel worse.) It's one of the main reasons Janus used to come by and do it for him every now and then; he respects the fact that Virgil simply can't do it himself, and so he doesn't mind helping out a bit.

The mess hadn't gotten too out of hand without Janus around, so they mostly just have a nice chat while Janus makes some piles and finally makes use of the basket Virgil has in there for clothes again. They even trade some old stupid jokes for really specific shit, like saying 'cup' super excitedly when there's a cup. (Janus found one under Virgil's bed one time when he had been missing so fucking many from the kitchen and he got overly excited for a second.)

Remus was second, considering the fact that if he was saying it was getting out of hand, things were really getting bad. 

See, he usually doesn't keep things like dishes or clothes in there, surprisingly; usually the only mess is a hell of a ton of papers and different craft supplies, with some costumes here and there, but not actual clothes. He'd forgotten to haul some of that shit out recently, though, and it was fucking up his Chaos Organization.

Yet again, Janus had to fight off his need to Organize This Shit as he dug through stacks of papers to find the few dishes that were scattered around in the middle of them all.

At least they got to have a bit of conversation on their own again; it had been awhile. As always, they made the classic cup joke that all three of them knew (and would likely soon teach to the others) and generally talked about some other shit. 

Third came Patton. Now, this one's a little...special. Yes, Patton's room is a Whole Ass Mess that needs Organizing, but that organization honestly includes throwing out some...old things.

See, a part of self care is absolutely throwing away things that remind you of bad things or past relationships that you don't need to think of anymore, or even just things that are cluttering up your space.

So after they got the general cleaning out of the way, having a moral debate or two along the way, they had to take a good long couple of hours organizing things, and then a couple more making a 'trash' pile, which took an awful lot of convincing from Janus and even more discussion about what things are good things to keep and what weren't.

Like the difference between all the old guys and dolls pamphlets and the card Virgil gave him on Christmas.

One reminds him of a long gone relationship that needs to be forgotten and the other is a reminder of a great friendship.

There was certainly a small conversation around the second, though, where Janus mentioned all of the little things he had from Virgil and the relationship they used to have, the relationship they finally had back.

And there was certainly a long discussion on the emo they both know and care for almost like a parent.

Fourth was Roman, mostly due to how grateful he seemed at the idea in the first place and how much that worried Janus.

And boy, did he have a right to be.

Roman's room was simply chaos. And not even organized chaos like Remus', no, he has no idea where anything is ever. The whole place was covered head to toe with papers, clothing, dishes, books, any and everything. Walking was a hazard in itself.

Janus just sighed, sat down, and started his piles.

He gathered all the papers around him and said, 'get me a box and grab all the dishes you can find. After that, grab the laundry.

We're making piles.'

Janus ended up doing a 'throw shit away' method with Roman, too, because he had ended up holding on to way too many old ideas and costumes, etc. and it really needed to go. 

He also forced Roman to put some of his papers in binders, because for heaven's sa kes, there was so much loose leaf in that goddamn room that Roman didn't even know of. There were also some really fucked up notebooks they tried their best to salvage.

Lastly, and happily, leastly, was Logan. His room was mostly clean except for like 50 stacks of books and notebooks that he didn't know what to do with. 

He insisted on keeping most of them, surprisingly-'so many of these are informational, or have records of important information!'-and Janus actually let him keep most of them, believing him and his pretty-solid reasoning. He ended up throwing a lot of the notebooks in a box and finding a place for them in one of the closets in his room and fitting in a new bookshelf-he just called in one of the twins to throw one against the wall behind the couch-to fit all of the old books into.

He actually had to force Logan to throw away some stuff, too. Old college textbooks and even age-old children's books tucked away in his closet, rotting away. (He found them while looking for room for the notebooks.) Logan had to finally admit that he was attached to them because...well, Thomas just doesn't learn nearly as much these days, and while he listens to him a lot more now, there was a time when he didn't, and just...he just missed when Thomas listened to him more. He missed when Thomas was striving for something so educational. He still has that old diploma hanging up just above his desk. (It was one of the few old things he let him keep.) 

Janus had to drill it into him that Thomas does listen to him now, and holding on to the past, no matter how much better it may seem, simply isn't good. He ended up making a deal of sorts; "I'll listen to you rant about whatever you like, whenever you like, if you promise to let go of this all. Listening to you talk is usually fascinating anyways."

Janus ended up with a teary Logan in his arms and a whole box of old children's books and college textbooks to throw away, but he certainly didn't mind. (Remus had fun burning it all in a bonfire later anyways.

That was a fun night; all 6 of them at a little bonfire party in the Imagination.)

(Their chess matches were filled with explanations of astronomy and further chemical engineering knowledge after that, and Janus simply smiled and listened, making winning moves while Logan wasn't looking.

Janus wouldn't have it any other way.)

*Stumbles over myself* ok, hear me out here-

Remus and Virgil, one day, started calling Janus 'mom' as a joke in reference to how he was literally the mom friend among them.

Eventually, though, it was revealed that he actually...really liked the nickname. 

It is part of his purpose to keep the others happy and well, after all. And besides, it just...made him feel. Important. Recognized for trying to help them. 

Also it was a fun little in-joke and it gave Janus a reason to make up cute little nicknames like 'little spider', 'little rat', and 'stormcloud'. 

After Virgil left, though, he...stopped calling him that. Remus kept it up, of course, and Janus was grateful, but still…

It simply felt...wrong.

Eventually, Janus and Remus found their way to him again, and Janus began holding out hope...just a little.

The first time Virgil said it again, it was as a flippant joke after Janus had fretted over his lack of sleep, rolling his eyes and snorting. "Sure, Mom."

Janus immediately paused, tearing up, and a great big smile grew over Remus' face. The others simply watched in confusion, unknowing of their little joke.

Janus smiled softly. "Of course, Little Spider."

Virgil was then left with a crying Janus, an explanation that he didn't mean to but that it was probably fine anyway, and a bunch of confused friends who needed an explanation of their own.

This is gonna sound kinda weird but I like,,,,,have my own ideas for how The Dorks look

Like when I'm writing them I go 'yea they look like that, mhm'

Like Virge has a pair headphones around his neck, 24/7

Jan's hat has a yellow ribbon, Of Course

They switch up their outfits sometimes cause I like that idea and it makes writing more exciting cause I get to explain what they're wearing when they go to hang out and stuff uwu

Also....sides. In skirts

Specifically Jan

Lolo in button ups…...yes pls

Same for Jan tbh

If Pat's not wearing lil friendship bracelets, what's the point??

Ro? Green eyes. Rem? Red. That's it, no debate

*Vibrating* I'm listening to 'I Miss My Mum' by Cavetown and I'm only half a minute in, but,,,,,,

Janus leaving post it notes around to help Virge/possibly Remus/maybe eventually the others remember to take care of themselves is an immaculate concept

Like Virge moves in w the lights and he's like 'shit,,,,,I never realized how much l relied on Jan and his damn post it note system' and now he's just always forgettin shit

And it's not like the other dumbasses there are any good at remembering that shit anyways

Then Jan shows up and he starts up his post it note system again by pure habit, not thinking to tell the others

Rem is like 'business as usual', Virge is like 'oh thank god I missed these things', and the others are like '????'

Pat asks Jan if he knows anything abt the weird post it notes that have been showin up a couple days in and he's like 'oh yea, those are mine, sorry I forgot to tell you guys'

And he's got a color coded system, too

Like if it's a note for Virge, it'll be purple, Remus green, etc

And then notes for everyone are yellow

Yet again, you all have been laid bare to my stupid thoughts that I get at random times!! Hope they were at least a little cool.

[detective-with-one-arm]

💭 - your choice

Simon

Vanilla!Rachel & Android!Simon

I love him. I love him so much. I could watch him smile forever. I could kiss his face for hours if he'd let me. I'd kill and die for him. I'd go to the ends of the world for him. I'd do anything if it meant making a better world for him to live in. I don't ever want to be without him. I want to spend the rest of my life by his side.

Vanilla!Rachel & Mer!Simon

He's so cute and so sweet. It's kinda nice having someone like him in the tank with everyone. He's more like me. And it's fun having someone I can tease and play with myself. Plus, he gives nice hugs and it's nice sleeping next to him.

Aquarium Siren!Rachel & Android!Simon

He's my friend! He understands me! He sees me! I don't have to pretend around him and he wants to stay with me. He makes me happy and I want to make him happy, too. I want to see him every day!

Delinquent!Rachel & Undercover Cop!Simon

He's got guts. I'd like to see him again. He's very fun to play with and tease. Cute, too! Wonder what he does for a day job.

Demon!Rachel & Fallen Angel!Simon

I hate him. I love him. I love fucking him. I love being fucked by him. He makes me confused. He makes me scared. He sets me on fire. I never want to be without him. I don't ever want to go back to a life without him. I don't care about anything else but him. I just want him. He's my angel and I'm his demon. God's not getting him back and I'm not Lucifer's bitch.

Yandere!Rachel & Homeless Human!Simon

He'll understand. Even if he never loves me, he will understand that I am the only one who can protect him. I'm the only one who can provide him everything he needs. He'll see. He'll see that the world is horrible and that I rescued from it. And he'll see that I love him. I love him more than anything and that I would kill and die for him if it meant protecting him from the world that's hurt and tortured him his whole life.

Naga!Rachel & Homeless Human!Simon

Men are cruel. I've seen it. To women, children, and other men. Though...it's not always men. Nevertheless, I've seen his wounds before. Less frequently, though it breaks my heart to see them at all. That as much as the world progresses and improves, some parts remain the same. And it saddens me that it's the uglier parts. But, my home is a safe haven for people like him. So, Simon has a home with me. With my people.

Guardian Angel!Rachel & Homeless Human!Simon

Poor thing...he was done so wrong in his life. But I'll be there for him. I'll help him find his own wings and soar. I'll be his guiding light. His star in the night. His friend...his home. Until he's strong enough to live without me...

Hybrid!Rachel & Hybrid!Simon

A bit odd, but a chill dude. Not as creepy as some of the predators I've met and not as aggro as some of the large prey I've met. I trust him. Hope he gets by okay.

Werewolf!Rachel & Vampire!Simon

He's sweet. And kind. And gentle. And so compassionate. I don't think I've ever met a vampire as nice as him and I'm not letting him go. He's my mate and part of my pack, now, and we've gotta look out for each other. And I love him. Wish he wouldn't pretend to throw the stick or film me in the bathtub, though...even though it is really funny.

Vampire!Rachel & Vampire!Simon

Respectable and understanding of the symbiotic relationship between humans and vampires. A true gentleman and a responsible sort. A worthy vampire. Though, I wished he had been more honest about his feelings, I'm so happy that he is honest, now. It was painful living knowing that he'd been neglected for so long. He deserves to be loved as fervently as the others.

Markus

Vanilla!Rachel & Android!Markus

I used to think of him as above me. Not as a person, but as some sort of judge. A vector for my sense of justice and morality and how that connected to my sense of self. I was so sure I was unworthy of even standing next to him. But now...? I can't imagine doing what I do without him by my side. No matter what, we do everything together. We're partners. And...I love him. For who he is. For everything that makes him...Markus.

Vanilla!Rachel & Pagan God!Markus

I never thought that praying to the void would actually get me an answer. But...weirdly enough, knowing that gods are real brings me a sense of peace. And that one is on my side and genuinely believes in me and wants to help is...nice. It's nice knowing some part of the universe has my back. So, I wanna have his. It's only fair. Besides, he makes for good company and a good houseguest. Easy on the eyes, too, so long as he doesn't break my brain. I think we could be good friends.

Vanilla!Rachel & Mer!Markus

I trust him with my life. He protected me. Kept me safe. Made sure I knew that nobody would hurt me as long as he was around and made sure that the others knew not to hurt me. And made sure I knew I was safe around him. And he's so gentle...so affectionate and loving. I'm gonna miss him whenever we get the hell out of this tank...

RK800!Rachel & Human Detective!Markus

I find him...peculiar. And fascinating. His curiosity and inquisitiveness is infectious, I think. He holds my attention. And he's kind. And...sincere, I think. I like him. Detective Manfred is a good man and a good detective and I value him as a partner. I like working with him and I hope I will be granted more opportunities to expand our professional and personal relationship.

Hybrid!Rachel & Hybrid!Markus

Smug son of a bitch thinks he can get in my pants with a cute little smirk and a playful charming personality and a sensitive artist persona and a sexy voice...well he can, and I'm mad about it. It's not fucking fair.

Naga!Rachel & Naga!Markus

He thinks he can fool me with his innocent act. He seems sincere, but I will not be fooled again by a naga who means to take that which I have guarded for centuries. We will see his true motives soon enough. If his heart truly is pure...he will likely move on and never see this place again...he is a traveler, after all.

Werewolf!Rachel & Werewolf!Markus

He's not an alpha, I don't think. But I feel like I would follow him wherever he went. Like I would do whatever he ordered me to. I don't know why, but I feel like I can trust him. He fought alongside me and didn't even expect a reward. I want to know him. To be close with him. I...I want to be a part of his pack.

Frontier!Rachel & Frontier!Markus

Mister Manfred is a good man. A bit cocky and polished, but a good man. Hard worker. Good craftsmanship. Sheriff Anderson's taken quite a liking to him and he stays for dinner a lot. Can't help but feel like maybe I'm letting him get too friendly with me. I can't say the competition's very appealing, though. Besides...he makes for good company. And he's a kind man. A very kind man...I hope he knows how to protect himself out on the streets.

Leo

Vanilla!Rachel & Mer!Leo

He's very sweet, but he's kinda intimidating. Though, it's not his fault and he's super gentle and careful with me. With everyone, actually. Which I really appreciate. Besides, even if he doesn't think so, he's nice to cuddle, too. And a very kissable face.

Trans!Rachel (Richard) & Human!Leo

I love him. I love him so much. I still feel so shitty that I didn't tell him I was a cop...I should have. But he still gave me another chance. He still let me in. I won't make him regret it. I swear. I'll be everything he deserves to have in a partner. He's too good for anything less from me.

Guardian Angel!Trans!Rachel (Richard) & Demon!Leo

I don't know how. I don't know why. But, this charming demon is my charge. I will never truly understand the will of God, but none ever will. Not even us angels. And if God wills it so, who am I to argue? Especially if it means I can be myself without having to disguise what I am. And I've never met a demon so sweet and so kind. Perhaps now I understand how others fell in love with Lucifer. There is a certain...beauty to demons I didn't see, before.

Elijah

Vanilla!Rachel & Human!Elijah Kamski

How in the everloving fuck did I manage to land a multi-million dollar deal beta testing a line of androids specifically catering to monsterfuckers like me? How? ¿Como? Cum? Someone explain when my life got so fucking weird that I am now collaborating with a fucking tech company trillionaire beta testing his new line of androids SPECIFICALLY for monsterfuckers?! How did this happen????

Daniel

Vampire!Rachel & Vampire!Daniel

Unlike his brother, Daniel is...frustrating. He is archaic, dogmatic, and difficult to tolerate at times. But...I also understand where his beliefs come from and being forced to share residence with what is essentially food that he is not allowed to eat must be frustrating to him. But all he needs is...proper discipline. And attention. And...affection. I do care about him...deeply. I want him to prosper and be comfortable here. I want him to be happy. I want him to feel as though my manor is a home, not just somewhere where he is a guest. And I hope I can achieve that with him, somehow.

Alma

Vanilla!Rachel & Vanilla!Alma

I care about him. I care about him more than anything. I cared about him before. I like him. I like him a lot. He tries to hard to learn, but he's actually a really good learner. It makes me upset that he seems so afraid of failing. He won't say it or act like it, but I can feel it. The hesitance and even preemptive recoiling as though him messing up will bring him pain. But now that I understand where it comes from...I just want to protect him. I want him to know how much he means to me. How much I see in him. How much I care about and appreciate him for who he is. The man who looks up at the sky and maps stars in his silver eyes. The man who always asks questions and wants to know more than he already knows. The man with an insatiable curiosity and a kind heart. The man who will hear me rattle on about whatever random thing just because he likes hearing me talk about it and likes learning about it. The man who will do the same to me. I...I just wish that everyone he's stuck with at home could see him for who he really is. Not what they wished he was or what they think he is or what they think he's supposed to be. Fucking cunt doesn't deserve her own invention, if you ask me...

Vanilla!Rachel & Mer!Alma

I'll admit, he was kinda scary at first. I couldn't see him and suddenly he was inside me. Didn't even give me a chance to catch my breath or anything or prep me. Then, he looked really scary. But then...he got soft. And cute. And I just wanted more of him. Even now, I look at him, and I just wanna hold him. Let him rest his head on my chest and listen to my heartbeat for a while. He's hot as fuck when he's railing me, but god damn, he's so sweet, too. And cute. It's nice to hold him and kiss him. He makes the best faces. Especially when I mess with his lure.

Alien!Rachel & Space!Alma

He's different. So much different than I could've ever expected. I'd heard reports of the ambassador from Earth from the Congress, before. But...actually meeting him was something else. He isn't even human. He's so different from me, but he feels familiar. Comforting. Like...home, almost. And his interest in my people and our culture is hard not to like. Perhaps I can request that my team visit my planet. I think Alma would like to experience Essek for himself. And I want to show him all my favourite parts of it.

Elianna

Vanilla!Rachel & Android!Elianna

She's so pretty. And confident. And fun. God, I haven't been on a date with a woman in years. I really hope I don't scare her or make her uncomfortable. I wanna get to know her and I can't do that if I fuck up and scare her away before I get the chance to.

Arda

Vanilla!Rachel & Vanilla!Arda

If she's anything like Alma, I think I'll like her. And probably get just as protective and defensive of her as with Alma. I bet making friends with both Alma and her would piss Dr. Chen off. I wonder if Alma's told her about me...

Vanilla!Rachel & Mer!Arda

She's...beautiful. Honestly. And so soft and so sweet. I like just floating around the tank in her arms and sitting on her lap. She's just nice to hold and I like listening to her. She's so gentle and so loving. Also helps that she's really good with her mouth. I could fall asleep floating around on her.

Alien!Rachel & Space!Arda

She's beautiful. She's a lot like Alma. Sort of like hatchmates, I think. Though, they're closer than that. But she's very kind and considerate and I like her. I feel inclined to protect her and defend her, much like Alma. I wonder if she'd like to study the flowers on my planet. She seems the type to enjoy interplanetary botany.