#idk i still dont understand this whole situation and it hurts to think about so i dont. i really just hope they heal soon

[guawowow]

Going crazy thinking about the complexities of Donatello and his relationship with his emotions in tottmnt just auuaua !!!!

Like, he's outwardly and unabashedly kind in this iteration and I'm SO here for it !!! And it doesn't diminish his ability to be snarky and witty, he still throws jabs at his brothers, but I feel like this donnie is a return to form in the sense that the center of his character, the motivation for his intelligence and penitent for creation, is kindness- more importantly, empathy.

routinely he is described as thoughtful, 'non-threatening', and usually very placid; we see mention of his temper when his computers are messed with, but he's extraordinary patient- polite, even- with the killer robot chasing him, subway security, and the deaf conductor, all while under high-pressure stress. When confronting the Mechazoids for the first time, he keeps them at a distance and straight up complements the engineering ingenuity! Same when confronting bishop in the subway! He talks enthusiastically, respectfully, with her about her system setup! His first instinct is to diffuse the situation, approach her with humility and establish common ground. Dude like even when running away from the Mechazoid he was always thinking of the people around him.. he was telling everyone to get out of the way, waited for cars to clear (his brothers just straight ran through traffic and jumped over moving carsss), tried to usher people away from train cars he was fighting in, etc. And in the narrated recaps between episodes, donnie is the first brother to consider bishops motivations in an empathetic manner, "maybe she has a tragic back story". Of course that serves as thematic foreshadowing buy he was still the first to offer the kindness of reason to bishops character, maybe there's a reason she's doing this, not just anger that she is.

Not to mention he full ass built a robot to protect his brothers and took the extra time to program in impeccable manners. just for funsies heheh. eueueu Metalhead my beloveddddd😭🙏💙💙💙💙

ALL THIS and yet still, in episode 10, donnie considers himself non-emotional. He says he's 'all left brained' and implys that he operates differently from his brothers who he considers more outwardly emotionally expressive. And yet, in the same episode, he spends a majority of it comforting wingnut. He lends his ear and speaks to her kindly even when her panic exasperates their situation, he doesn't get mad when she freaks out, he takes the time to talk things through with her and make her comfortable whenever able. Even when they think Leatherhead has unmutated, he's sad but tries to put himself in her situation and understand her actions. HES SO SWEET IT HURTS DUDE ❗️❗️❗️ main point being, I dont think he considers himself emotional because he operates on a mode of empathy that is reason driven. He's emotionally logical, of that makes sense. It shows an INSANE amount of emotional intelligence and maturity, I just don't think he understands that because to him, this is logical, and his brother are anything but.

For a majority of his life, the only other people he has to compare himself to are his brothers. When up against anxiety riddled Leonardo, chronically angry Raph, and Mikey's carefree disregard, of course he sees himself and goes, 'ah ok. I must be less emotionally prone because I don't react like they do to these situations'.

I think he just understands the whole social song and dance of understanding better than he thinks.

I know the whole thing with tottmnt is the aspect of unreliable narration, but even then! Like if Leo wrote donnie like this then it probably because he routinely displays this kind of understanding behavior. Plus idk bout yall but I kinda consider the events of tottmnt as like a blurry semi-cannon? I think there are nuggest of truth in there, the broad strokes yk? Like the flood arc referenced 'the bishop situation' like it was a thing that actually happened, albiet in passing, and not just something to poke fun at Leo. It's got legs, there's ideas there to work with ajaja

[rey-jake-therapist]

You know, Sauron gets called a narcissist a lot and we should talk about it a bit. The thing is, from someone who's read books, watched films, and done tons of info gathering all because I lived with a narcissistic parent, it's surprisingly to me how so many ppl only look at his tendencies from an angle of victimhood (but understandable), and not the angle that if you're cunning enough, you can play the reverse uno card on their dumb asses. I lived in emotional pain for years until I realized I decided to accept the role of victim, and that I didn't have to. So I decided to research everything about narcissists, and found psychological ways to play them at their own game by taking advantage of their blind spots.

For one, since they have this inflated sense of grandiosity, they find it very hard to believe a lie that flatters their ego. Idk if ppl realize this. Because denying a compliment with /some/ truth in it would mean they are being humble, and thus downplay this false image they desperately want others to believe about them (unless they're faking humility for reason, like to get a promotion or to flatter themselves to someone above them on the ladder, or in Gals case, because he thinks it would look good on him in her eyes to appear 'humble'), as well as admitting to that egoistic part of themselves that they aren't as great as they believe they are (and they do). Like I said how I lived with a narcissistic parent? I figured out that if I pretend to hype them up when they're in a good mood, they would genuinely think I cared about them and thought they were this amazing dad, and they would be like 'hey let's go get some mcdonalds!' It was nothing like the genuine love from a nonnarcisstic dad, but I learned how to manipulate him to get things that I wanted, simply by playing to his need for admiration and validation.

I'm not saying this tactic works for every narc you come across, but if you can get yourself into their head, be the master to their puppet strings, instead of opposing them or correcting them (they hate criticism and anything that hurts their ego, as we see with Annatar), you can use them just as they see you as a tool.

Idk if any of this makes sense. I do think that I may have absorbed some of my dad's traits for seeing things this way, but I know in my heart I would never ever treat my own kid like this. I see it as a form of adaptation to living with someone with such a vile personality disorder. But in terms of Sauron, he's got to be one of the dumbest narcissists I've seen. He is praised for his masterful deceit and manipulation but he's genuinely stupid in that he doesn't have the self awareness (like the audience, particularly haladriels) to realize that Galadriel is a huge blindspot for him in everything.

I'm not JRRT and I can never hope to write anything near the world he built, but if the forces of good have any brain they would take advantage of this blindspot in some way instead of furiously kicking against the current and thus causing a lot of bloodshed and losses for their own side.

I hope you don't mind if I copy/paste your second message here since it's the continuation of this one... It avoids that I make two different posts :)

And also, just to add to my last ask: And this is why I think Gal jumped off the cliff. She still has some sort of emotional entanglement with this whole mess, which is a HUGE RISK if she were to try to play him at his own game (at this point). It's one thing to completely divorce any kind if feeling between me and my narc dad, who I've lived with for years, and slowly realized that he would never be the dad I am owed. It took a lot of pain and tears when I finally realized it (Dont feel sorry for me, I'm not even emotional about this anymore, I just see our past in this clinical detached way. I find narcs fascinating in same way a scientist studies a lab rat). But for Galadriel, her situation is different. She didn't have years by his side to slowly realize this. To slowly pick apart and coldly analyze Sauron's pattern of action, thoughts, and habits like I did with my own dad. Her feelings at that meeting were raw and unorganized, she was angry, more emotionally betrayed, unable to stop galloping until the very end, when she stumbled upon a last ditch idea (really it was a gamble) to get away as far as she can from him. Idk if its because of the crown wound or her own resolve that she fears is weakening her, but she needed distance asap. But I really think my idea is interesting and I hope to see more fics in the future that take on Galadriel using herself as his blindspot to weaken him. It doesn't have to he canon compliant, but it would also play well into how canon ends. Just some interesting food for thought. A lot of fics I see are pwp and redemption focused, which I already love, but I also kind of want to see them become like chess masters as manipulation. Gal in particular has so much potential and we know she has a very vindictive dark side. ;)

I know you said you said there was no need to feel sorry for you, and I actually admire your strength of character, but I still want to say this : no kid should have to suffer from having narcissist parents. I myself lived with a narcissist for years, so I know where you come from, even if it was of course a different dynamic. And you're right about not accepting to be a victim ! It's very hard, because it involves accepting that you deserve better, something that a narcissist will constantly make sure you don't. Needless to say that the Annatar/Celebrimbor relationship was very hard for me to stomach, because of the way Annatar behaved towards Celebrimbor. It felt very familiar, and I really didn't like it. I'm worried about my kid now, especially after reading your post... I'm worried about how my ex's behavior will affect him. Hopefully, I am able to balance things out. I'm a lot of things, but I'm damn sure I'm not a narcissist.

I won't comment the rest of your post, not because I'm not interested, but for the exact opposite reason : I couldn't add anything smart or relevant to what you suggested for the Haladriel dynamic :) Thank you for sharing these ideas with me !

[drumcanister]

okay so im doing it anyway and this is about djevel's post kinda but im also just kinda talking out my ass about my opinion on cupanny (I LOVE U MOOT BUT I NEED TO LET THIS OUT IM SORRY 😞)

(to be clear im not attacking the person who made the post im just putting my opinion and thoughts here or else i might start eating the furniture)

The question about why can't colly just stay friends , especially coming from someone who ships cupanny is just,,kinda?? idk

The whole thing with cup and fanny is that he just wants to be friends , nothing more so why use that argument with a ship that clearly has more to offer?

I personally groan out loud when any mention of cupanny being together is mentioned purely because their dynamic is NOT going to benefit either of them at all. Neither respect eachothers boundaries and personally it feels like watching a really bad situationship unfold. (still love them being sillies tho)

They know barely anything about eachother and honestly in my eyes they dont have enough of a connection to really be anything more than friends. the "flirting" is just really stale in my eyes and lacks depth. Plus shes exactly the kind of girl hes dated like 3 times before , it's just going to be a cycle of him getting hurt again.

Cupanny is obvious , it's predictable and literally everyone and their grandma is expecting it to happen. Colly (if its done right) has the potential to be a really good slow burn. It has everything cupanny lacks in my opinion.

Holly has seen everything cup is afraid to show and she doesn't judge or get disgusted , she knows what kind of person he is which is the entire reason she didn't trust or like him at first. He can be himself around her , his childish self , without the fear or uncertainty. He can be open and honest , he can cry and be scared around her.

Fanny hasn't and she never will because he doesn't trust her enough to tell her that like he does with holly. Theres a clear lack of connection and trust with them.

Considering fanny's situation as well i don't think she should be dating anyone for a long time , she needs to heal from this and being with someone like cup isn't going to help that at all. Same would apply to him as well , he needs that genuine love and understanding and unfortunately , in my opinion , i don't think fanny can provide that for him.

honestly all in all idgaf who bro dates (if anyone at all) just get him a cat , heaps of candy and a goddamn vacation.

(once again this isn't an attack i just wanted to share my thoughts on this whole thing , its my personal opinion so if you don't agree then don't read it lmao)

[the-writings-of-a-kiwi-bird]

Sorry, Reenie~

tags: angst/comfort, crack treated seriously maybe (not really taken seriously actually), medical inaccuracies probably (dont have the spoons to do research, im pretty vague though), kidnapping, referenced past drugging but in a lighthearted way and only once near the end

a little bit of Aventurine/Topaz at the end if you squint, but it can be interpretted as platonic, too

(i think thats it? idk)

this is 100% based on one of the numerous plotting/fic situations @silvercaptain24 and I think up/ping pong off each other in our DMs lol. im also only posting mainly this because its the easiest way to share with her XD

fic below cut (about 1400 words i thkn?)

Aventurine pushed his chair away from his desk and stood. 

I’ve been staring at these documents too long, I need a break. 

He exited his office, making sure to lock the door behind him, and began to make his way towards the end of the building where Topaz’s office is. 

Maybe I can talk her into lunch. It's been a while since I ate. 

He rounded a corner and was immediately grabbed and pulled into a janitorial closet. 

Before he could respond, a hand holding a cloth covered his nose and mouth. 

Aventurine held his breath and struggled, fighting to break free. 

“Oh come on, that’s taking too long!” An unfamiliar voice complained. 

Something hit his head hard, and the world turned black. 

~~ 

He awoke lying on his side. 

Everything hurt, and his mind was clouded with fog and pain. 

Aventurine tried to move his arms, only to painfully discover that they had been bound behind his back with rope, rather tightly. He did his best to remain silent and fought his eyes open. 

The floor he was laying on was dirt, which would explain the musty smell. It was dark, too dark to see much beyond the rusty iron bars in front of him. He could hear faint voices, but couldn't tell what they were saying or even what direction they came from. 

Panic fought to overtake his already limited mind, and he struggled to fight against it. 

I’m trapped. I can’t get free. Even if I could, those bars look strong. Everything hurts. What had I been doing? Where am I? I can move my feet. What good will that do? They’ve probably confiscated all my things. I can’t even call for help. I don't know if I’m even strong enough right now. I'm trapped. It’s so dark— 

His eyes threatened to close, and the room kept spinning. His wrists burned, the pain overpowering even the rest of the pain and making thoughts difficult. Painful memories threatened to surface, and he forced himself to focus on the pain instead. 

Aventurine’s whole body trembled, heart beating fast and loud. His neck burned, a phantom pain from memories long past resurfaced. 

Pistols fired somewhere in the distance, and the nearby voices turned to far away shouts. 

He was shaking, and not just from the cold. 

A familiar voice said something nearby. Or maybe far away? He wasn't sure. 

Panic swirled in his mind, drowning out all other thoughts besides the pain. 

He heard metal clangs, and the creaking of rusty hinges. That familiar yet unplaceable voice said something else he did not register, more insistent this time. 

Aventurine shut his eyes and struggled to try and get his breathing even. If they think he's asleep, they’ll leave him alone. Right?

The voice spoke again, definitely closer this time, and still not understandable. 

The pain in his wrists flared and he heard someone whimper pathetically. 

On second thought, that may have been him. 

The voice kept speaking to him, and he barely registered that a tension around his wrists had been broken. The searing pain lessened slightly. 

More speaking. He thinks. 

Icy cold water splashed Aventurine in the face, and he shot his eyes wide open with a gasp.  

“Geez, it’s ‘bout time!” A familiar metal hand waved in his face. “Are ya with me now, Fancy Pants?” 

Aventurine moved to sit up, but the pain in his wrists inhibited that. Someone lifted him into an upright position. 

Finally, he looked up. “… Boothill?” 

The space cowboy flashed a toothy grin. “Oh good, that little brain of yours is working again. C’mon kid, let's get you out of here.” 

Boothill lifted Aventurine with ease, one metal arm beneath his legs and the other supporting his back. Aventurine vaguely heard the space ranger mumble something about ‘muddle fudging son of nice ladies shirt bags ash voles’. 

Aventurine found himself relaxing somewhat, fighting to keep his eyes open as he bounced slightly with each step Boothill took. 

Boothill sighed. “Relax, kid, just get some sleep. You’re safe now. I’ll hold you for ransom when you wake up.” 

Aventurine relaxed fully, drifting off to sleep before the words had even fully registered. 

~~~

Aventurine awoke in a room he shouldn’t even recognize, much less be all too familiar with. 

“Ugh, so much for getting some work done today.” He groaned and stood, clutching his head with one hand as he waited for the room to stop spinning. He walked to the door and hesitated as he grabbed the handle, cherishing his last moments of peace before his headache inevitably gets much worse. 

~

“Well hello there, sleepyhead,” Boothill greeted. 

Two metal hands clasped each shoulder and not-no-gently steered him into a chair at the table, the biggest plate Aventurine had ever seen situated in front of him. It was overfilled with his favorite foods. 

He glanced back at Boothill, eyebrow raised skeptically. “There is absolutely no way I can eat all that. And I don't remember the ipc having any confidential files that list what my favorite foods are,” he added. 

Boothill smirked and simply shrugged. “Wow, favorite foods huh? What a coincidence! Anyways, Fancy Pants, you’d best get to eating, won’t know how much you can eat til you try!” 

Aventurine glared suspiciously at the food and drink in front of him. “Please tell me you didn’t drug it this time, i think i've had enough sleep for today.”

“Nah, you got plenty of sleep already, not necessary this time.” Boothill waved a hand dismissively, gaze never leaving Aventurine. “You should start eating though, I already sent the message to that Topaz lady and she’s usually pretty quick at sending the random money.” 

Aventurine began to eat, doing his best to refrain from wolfing it all down immediately. “You do know she transfers that from her personal account so she doesn’t have to go through Jade every time, right?” 

“It's okay, every time this happens that exact amount of money mysteriously disappears from the IPC’s bank account and appears in hers.” 

Aventurine froze, then turned his head slowly to look at Boothill. “You can do that. This whole time. What’s even the point of ransom then???” 

“More fun this way,” Boothill said with a toothy grin. “And it gives me the opportunity to make sure my Greatest Competition And Nemesis is Taking Care Of Himself well enough that we can be evenly matched still.” 

Aventurine rolled his eyes and continued eating. “I thought you were done with that ridiculous title.” 

Boothill chuckled. “Why would I be done with it, O Greatest Competition And Nemesis? It's the most fitting, after all.” 

Aventurine groaned, and Boothill watched closely to make sure he actually ate everything. 

~~ 

There was a knock at the ship’s door, and Boothill opened it to reveal a very exasperated Topaz. 

“Alright, Boothill, you’ve got the money. Can we have our dumbass back now?” 

“Hey!” Aventurine protested. Both ignored him. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure thing little lady.” Boothill patted Aventurine on the back forcefully, sending the man tumbling forward. 

Topaz calmly stepped aside and let him fall. 

“Thanks. I assume he’s been fed again?” 

“Obviously. Make sure the muddlefudger uses the healing ointment I gave him for his wrists, which were absolutely not my doing for the record.” 

Aventurine stood and dusted himself off, grumbling about loser friends who clearly hate him and not being a child who needs supervision. 

“Will do. See you next time, I unfortunately assume?” Topaz asked. 

“Yep!” Boothill replied cheerfully. “Nice doin’ business with ya.” 

Topaz nodded and turned, grabbing Aventurine’s arm. “Come on idiot, let's go.” 

She turned back to Boothill one last time, expression much softer for a split second. “…thanks for taking care of him.” 

She turned again, all but dragging Aventurine with her. 

“Hey, this time really wasn’t my fault,” he insisted defensively. 

Topaz glanced at him, a brief moment of concern on her face before she returned to that annoyed expression she always wore around him. “Yeah. I know.” She hesitated. “And… I’m glad you’re okay. I guess.” 

“You know,” she added quickly, “because I don’t want to be doing my and your workload. That's all. Definitely.” 

Aventurine smiled fondly. “Sure.” 

They took a few more steps before he paused. 

“Wait what do you mean you know? How?” 

Topaz groaned. “Mister Boothill demanded more credits than usual for, and I quote, ‘saving you shirt bags from having to rescue him from some forking muddle fudgers, and saving y’all the trouble of taking care of the ash voles.’” 

Aventurine smacked his forehead with his palm and sighed. “Of course he did. Why am I not surprised.”

Topaz shrugged. “That Galaxy Ranger really confuses me sometimes, you know.” 

“Only sometimes?” 

She smacked his arm. 

“Anyways, you owe me big time. Again.” 

“Yeah, yeah. The usual Lunch for a week I assume?” 

“Make it two this time.” 

“… fine, two.” 

~~~~~

[glitter-stained]

comments sections are bleh let me invade your inbox hello

ON HANAHAKI AU. and also in conjuction (is that the right word? i do not care about google i trust my brain!!) with the notif i got of you liking one of my art pieces. the original context of hanahaki has always felt Weird to me bcs its like ? giving people an obligation to reciprocatw your feelings. INSTEAD i subscribe to the idea of it being about extreme lack of communication and repression that results in a physical overflow—in this case still flowers suffocating u bcs cool aestheticw qnd also they carry this fucked up vibe to them idk man

ANYWAY i just think its SUPER fitting for jason in his familial relationships (ESP bruce) and i think each time he dies its just building more and more. like concealing this thing over and over again, not letting himself process what hes dealing with and express that hes desperate for validation and love + yk. all that trauma that people like to pretend has been resolved ...

not to mention. jason is a canonically suicidal character, at least passively, so the amount of value he puts on resolving the issue and curing himself is.. Lacking

i have no idea if any of that made sense i dont think my meds have kicked in yet and my brain is SCREAMING. Sorry for my godawful typing

Okay so

First of all I usually like Hanahaki BECAUSE you cannot make yourself love someone. So in general I like classic hanahaki because you get one of two situations:

1. Soft hurt/comfort where the person's self-esteem and past trauma stops them from realising the others actually love them back (I'm a soft bitch and will enjoy any variation of this trope)

OR

2. Tragedy when they try their best to make themselves love the sick person the way they need to, they love them but not in the way they need, and in the end it feels like their love is not enough no matter how much they love and they have to watch their loved one die because of it. Do you understand the tragedy it's so good!!!

So usually I like trad!hanahaki

However

I'm not kidding when I made the Jason hanahaki before seeing your ask i was already like wait but for jason what if it's not about feeling unloved. What if the very act of loving someone whose love will never satisfy you, not because of its nature but because you have such a different understanding of love and what it implies, is what hurts you. What if the reason you're sick is because you love someone who keeps hurting you, and you hate that you love them, and you can't help that you love them and you can't help that you hate that you love them, and this is what kills you.

And even death does not stop the love, just like the love can't stop itself from killing you.

So that's the OG thought for the AU

Honestly I really like your take on that, the relentlessness and desperation, and the suicidality -I can see him being so tired of the pain and at first wanting them to see and then realising they're not seeing it and getting used to it, getting comfortable in that cycle of pain and just waiting for the day it finally takes, until he has to actively conceal it because he's grown so used to his own personal garden of doom that someone finding out, and the emotional vulnerability that comes with it, is scarier than this.

Also loved your art because the version of Hanahaki death i like most is when the body horror is hardcore. Like, sure, die choking on flowers maybe but I need a whole rosier to sprout out of the ribcage, alien-style. And I think after Jason wakes up from his death, the plant is just there. I think he has a whole safehouse where he keeps his plants. He calls it the Greenhouse. It's beautiful, and the petals are bloodstained.

[tea-and-secrets]

a friend of mine we'll call alex has DID, ive known alex for 3 years now but about a month ago a like member of their system (sorry idk the exact term) we'll call james messaged in the discord that alex is gone and now james is like ig the main personality of the system? im not sure how to feel about all this. james said their gone and they dont have many of alex's memories but still see us in their server as friends. supposedly alex vanished roughly about a month before james even said anything about it and im just so confused its nothing against james but the last month its felt like we've been just playing house as apposed to being friends and idk what to do. i mean do i think of alex and james as different people? is my friend still in there just under a new name or is the 3 years we spent together just gone? it feels like alex died and james is their replacement and i hate that thought but idk how else to describe how this all feels. but idk whats worse, the grief of losing alex and trying to adjust to james or the intrusive thoughts i have about them faking having DID. i would never accuse them of that and like i know and respect the fact DID is a real thing im not like a denier but idk if its the grief of alex suddenly being gone or things they do making no sense to me and my brain is trying to find an explanation. the points my gut keeps going to as ig evidence they are faking is it feels like more like a hyperfixation then something they deal with frequently. for the 3 years alex would go through phases where it was relavent info for like a month or possibly only like a week and then they'd say nothing about it for MONTHS. feels like its been a year since anything was said about DID before alex was gone and idk if that how DID works or thats a real sign of faking but i hate that my brain is thinking shit like this. i feel so guilty for my brain trying to disprove their DID and idk what to do. its a whole mess and idk if i like the feeling of being friends with someone who replaced my friend and im worried about bringing it up at all in the group as i dont wanna seem insensitive or like i blame james. its nothing against james its just hard to disconnect alex from james or view james as faker alex. i wont say shit about my intrusive thoughts about them faking as thats only gonna lead to hurt and its not how i truly feel or what i believe its just my brain trying to make sense of this complicated situation and not reflection of alex or james or anyone else in their system. i just dont know how to navigate this whole situation where my friend is dead but not dead??? idk thought maybe people who know more would have some advice. please give me advice or like tell me if im evil or some shit i just wanna do whats best and understand better

.

[ralvezfanatic]

Vampire!Reid pushing Luke away when his feelings (or their relationship) gets stronger/serious because he's immortal, while Luke obviously isn't.

He doesn't want to get too attached to Luke because he knows no matter what, Luke will die one day and he'll be all alone again, heartbroken for who knows how long.

It's happened before. It took a few times to learn that relationships with humans, or just mortals in general, weren't a good idea.

Luke getting hurt over being pushed away because he's so hopelessly in love with Spencer, and he can't stand the thought of not being with him.

He wants to be with him so bad but he understands why he's getting pushed away, but that doesn't stop him from being hurt.

Luke trying to figure out a way to be with Spencer, but realizing the only way to be together without hurting him is to be immortal. Meaning either turning into a vampire himself, or like, sell his soul. (or idk think of some reason urself)

Both of which scared him a bit.

He didn't have a problem with vampires, obviously, he was in love with one. But being one himself? That was different.

Plus, if he was a vampire, Spencer wouldn't have anyone else to feed on again.

Selling his soul seemed a bit.. much. He loved Spencer, but of course he was scared of the slight chance of them not working out. He quite prefered having his soul.

Both of them are just torn apart over the whole situation.

Spencer is unhappy not being with Luke. He loves him, and he's one of the best things that has happened to him in his 114 years of living.

But even if he was with him for the rest of Luke's life, he would end up all alone when he died. And he couldn't even think of asking Luke to do anything to become immortal.

Luke is hurt and torn between his choices, because all of them are terrible. He needs to be with Spencer, but he isn't sure about selling his soul. Being a vampire just wouldn't work out due to Spencer feeding on him anyways.

Taglist: @starch1ldz, @the-gregster, @jaden-reid, @lover-of-books-and-tea, @gayaristocrat, @cumulo-stratus, @fuckingstrange, | Add yourself here !

i still dont know if these are imagines or not..

[luveline]

so my coworker and I had a misunderstanding. I thought we had gotten it smoothed over, I clarified what I had meant and before our shift ended I apologized AGAIN and asked if we were all good...they said yes. Well, a week later they went and told the whole situation to someone and complained about me, how I was a terrible person, etc.

I confronted them once because they said something that was an egregious lie and I overheard them...they've never used that claim anymore but still talk bad about me. They made it obvious they don't like me, won't say hi to me, but they come and ask me questions because "you're so smart" and know I'll help them.

The incident was A YEAR AGO NOW and they still tell new coworkers about it. I dont because its in the past for me. But it really hurts and idk what to do :( if there is a chance for them to trash talk me, they do. It really sucks that some of my new coworkers may hear what they say and then think bad of me before I have a chance (over a misunderstanding which I have clarified Once day of and once since, to which the person claims they understand and reiterated it back to me in their own words).

its been a year and it still is happening which is what really hurts. Like...im hated that much??? Over a misunderstanding???? Over something I didn't actually say, but they misunderstood it as one way??? Which i clarified and explained and they said they understood?? Plus, they are mid 40s and I am 24

Before you’d actually clarified I guessed that it was an older woman, I am not sure psychologically what it is but I do think there’s a work culture phenomena of older women bullying younger coworkers. Maybe because they’re older they automatically assume that they’re smarter/owed more respect etc, and I also think they’re jealous. Honestly like to keep brining it up over and over again to new people and using it as a way to turn people against you is just cruel! I’m sorry honey, you could report her for like malicious workplace conduct or being continuously mean to you? Sorry lovely 😢

[420technoblazeit]

Abt the jealousy of Cas, I don't think Cas is jealous of Crowley for who he is . because I do think he thinks he's better than him, but in a relationship yea I can see jealousy and possessiveness I mean he did sear deans skin and carved into his ribcage. If they did get together literally all of body will be marked.

So either it's one month with Crowley then the other month with him

But also I just can see Cas just waiting. Until he becomes the priority. And until then let's dean do his own thing and Cas does his.

i mean i agree that cas isnt jealous of crowley for who he is and you can have your own headcanons. cas is certainly a character who has a lot of pride especially in the earlier seasons but i think a lot of that is gone by the time the later seasons come around. i'd argue even after season 6 he has significantly less pride, though i guess you could argue season 8 cas still has a bit of it. i just dont think that there's canon basis for him being a very jealous person when we've already seen a situation where dean chose crowley over cas (the demon dean summer) and cas didn't seem to hold any grudge with crowley over it

remember that we do see a conversation between sam and cas in 10x01 about dean running away, and while sam seems to think that there's a demon running around in dean's body cas understands that dean himself made the choice to run away. sam seems to think that crowley might have forced dean to leave but cas dismisses that almost immediately and instead brings up whether or not dean's too far gone as a demon. there's a focus here on dean leaving being dean's choice

also here's a scene from 10x03 from when crowley first meets up with cas again and discusses curing dean. if cas, like sam, didn't understand just how much dean meant to crowley he would've left it at that thinking that crowley was just using dean as a guard dog. but he makes sure to point out here that dean might be too far gone because he knows that for crowley to have stuck with dean for that entire summer he must care about what happens to him

even much later in the season cas again asks crowley for help in curing dean, even after sam has tried to kill him, and i think it's because cas is maybe the only person who actually gets it. who understands what it's like to be an immortal being in love with a human as reckless and self-destructive as dean. and to sacrifice so much for him and not ask for anything in return. he knew that even with nothing in return crowley would help in getting rid of the mark because he knows how much it's hurting dean

and about the carved ribcage and handprint thing if we're being honest the whole possessive branding thing is like. entirely fanon. to my knowledge the show never explicitly mentions that as being a possessive thing, the fandom just thought it'd be cute to make it into that. we know that the warding's main function is to hide sam and dean from angels and that the handprint is a byproduct of cas dragging dean out of hell. it is by no means proof that cas is actually possessive of dean or would be upset about him being with someone else

idk i just think pretending that cas and crowley's relationship could ever boil down to just ohhhhh cas is jealous of crowley's thing with dean significantly flattens their relationship and gets rid of the most interesting thing about it, which is that basically the only thing they can ever agree on is loving dean. that's unironically their common ground in a significant number of issues. theyre an angel and a demon to begin with so theyre already about as different as you can get but when you really look at the core of who they are, theyre both beings who are too emotional and human for their own good and you can always see that best in how they interact with dean

[noramthe]

My tier-list of p:eg character after ch1!

SPOILERS PLS DONT LOOK IF YOU DIDNT FINISH CH1

So nothing changed much

The changes

1-kai moved up from A to S

2-Eva and diana moved up from C to B

3-Eloise and wolfgang Moved down from B to C

My favorite will forever be damon my beloved i love him more and more every-time i see him. He’s such an interesting character and protagonist most of all. And i hate when people reduce his character to just an egoist asshole. This includes every character but all of them has flaws and aren’t actually “good people”. They are complex and we have seen some more then the others. Forcing a black or white on the characters is completely ridiculous imo since everyone has so much depth and complexity. I truly think that damon has good intentions but has absolutely no idea how to communicate properly. Like when he was telling the group not to trust each other, in the end why would he say that if he didn’t care about their lives?

His ideas and the way he thinks is constantly being challenged. I really wonder how he will handle conflicts and challenges to his usual way of thinking. I find the fact that he gets embarrassed about people calling him certain things very endearing😔 HES SO CUTEHBCJBCJWHHCBHD

Really looking forward for his growth (or downspairl? Idk😭) I’m sure he wouldn’t have sounded as rough as he is if it weren’t for the situation they are in); but i guess so is all the characters

Kai i loved a lot before but since I didn’t know much about him wasn’t sure if i should put him to S. But ofc after this chapter he deserves this spot sm!! I’m really happy with his screen time this chapter and didn’t hesitate to make him my 2nd fav!

Poor baby has a lot of self confidence issues☹️ i relate to him a bit. It’s the reason i love him and damon bcs one moment I’m thinking about something and the other they say the exact same thing I’m thinking/feeling haha

I’m really proud for kai honestly. I feel he really proved himself this trail by bringing good points and noticing things that I haven’t. I was cheering for him the whole time🥹

Surprised at how his character turned out. When I read his description before the prologue was released. I thought he’s going to be a really awful two faced character?? Instead we got the most adorable whiny crybaby GOD I LOVE HIMM never change kai. I will always love you

Still waiting for mark to appear more i love him sm he’s so relatable fr fr. I love his design and his little beanie(i have a soft spot for characters that wear beanies)

His little remarks were really funny. And the fact that he was kinda being the only sane guy between the chaotic group😭 love you king i hope he’s gonna be more relevant later

Cassidy the queen!! Love her she’s so fun😩 but pls sweetie there is a time and place for jokes girl😭(still adore her)

Desmond and ulysses love their chill vibes sm and definitely enjoyed their appearance on this chapter!(wish they could’ve appeared a bit more)

Diana grew on me this chapter! I appreciated getting to know her more honestly while i felt really sad for what happened to her on this case I don’t agree with what she did when she is trying to take Wolfgang's place when him acting like this was probably one of the reasons he died in the first place (i still understand girl is traumatized to hell and doesn’t know how to cope)

Eva.. god what can i say about this girl

I felt so many different types of emotions for her and even though i was hurt by her betrayal sm because i really loved her and wanted to trust her but god i just feel so bad for her. Cried really hard on her execution girl really felt like she was doomed from the start and even when people showed her kindness she didn’t focus on it just because of how many bad experiences she had that it overclouded her positive experience with damon and diana🥹 she really deserved better (the reason she’s not higher is because im still really hurt by what she did my emotions literally is like a roller coaster)

Ok i will not talk about everyone in c but i will say why i put down two of them

First Wolfgang

I actually liked him in the prologue! But this chapter he somehow annoyed me a little. He seemed a bit controlling so i was wondering what’s up with that. Also him being weird when they were investigating the pharmacy place, when he was thinking about the drugs being dangerous and damon agreed with him and suggested hiding them he immediately just changed his mind?? Tf?

Personally i was a bit terrified of him this chapter but not for long I guess☠️☠️(rip)

Now eloise

This chapter definitely showcased more of her personality. I thought in the prologue she was going to be a shy girl but this chapter definitely proved me wrong-

I don’t mind her but i feel i became less interested on her honestly. Like yeah she’s kinda cool but didn’t really catch me that much

So the don’t care category is as you expect… I don’t really care about these characters nor their designs. Just simply didn’t catch my attention. Sorry.

And finally the kinda annoying category

I know there are a lot of grace fans out here. It’s just she’s not for me

I find her a bit annoying and i personally only like annoying characters when i think they are funny (sorry grace😭)

I just never found her amusing and the rare times where she is chill is the best times for me.

I really don’t like her kind of personality that are really screaming or angry a lot or are really aggressive. She annoyed me in the prologue and i still find myself annoyed by her. Her relationship with wolfgang was cute imo but then he died and now she’s insufferable☠️(listen i get it. They were close and she’s sad he died. Didn't stop me from being really annoyed w her)

*sigh* thank you for hearing my ted talk

I typed so much and deleted so much my arms hurt.

[browzerhistory]

this started out as tags on a post but i realized i should probably just. make my own post at this point.

anyways ohhhg my god dont even TALK to me about a post-prime trio situation. ill start crying. GOOD GOD the betrayal and even if its post 6-2 that they meet again what would there even be to SAYYYY!!!

chewing on the minosgabe especially because like okay. minos was getting through to him before he was assassinated. gabriel knew that the council (and by extension The Father Himself, though he'd never admit it) were being needlessly cruel to the sinners. not just in lust but through all of hell (he was the closest to the ferrymen but knew of the futility of their devotion for example). but i think it scared him to think about everything he's ever known being a lie, not to mention the threat of getting his light and title stripped if he stepped out of line. so to reconcile it, he followed orders and killed minos. maybe he convinced himself (or was convinced) minos was trying to lead him astray or smthn.

gabriel would not only understand minos wanting to shred him, he'd Want him to. the only way gabriel knows how to make things right is someone getting hurt. so it's natural for him to offer an eye for an eye so to speak. and of course minos would want to kick his ass at first (his whole boss fight speech is pretty indicative of this i think). but given time to think with his Judge Brain, he'd realize death is not fitting for what he did. gabriel wants it to be, but that's because the only kind of justice he knows is the kind the church teaches. minos knows it would be infinitely better (and infinitely crueler, in a way) to let him live with himself.

ohhgggg and sisyphus and minos post prime... this really depends on how one sees their relationship while they were alive. BUT. the dynamic of like. these two who have faced actual hell together and were murdered by the same guy only to come back irreversibly altered in every sense of the world. and despite everything it's still the man they fell in love with but theres so much each went through that the other wont know. BUT THE LOVE IS STILL THERE. (havr you noticed a pattern with me about this theme) godddd and then to have them be faced with gabriel.. also changed deeply from who he used to be but who is still the angel who killed them. (IN A SENSE. because he hasnt had as much Time as the other two. and we all know how the church has to be taken out of someone. piece by bloody piece.) to have gabriel There before them understanding what he did was infinitely fucked and understanding if they want to kill him.

and don't even get me STARTED on gabriel and sisyphus post prime. here is this angel who minos tried to change while he was alive. tried to make him see the injustices of heaven. and sisyphus Saw the progression in his thinking on the rare occasions where they did meet. and maybe he started to hope that things could be different because if even the Righteous Hand Of The Father can have doubts in the system then maybe change is possible. but then gabriel kills both of them on the council's orders. and he knows that dogma is buried deeper in his being than either of them can know, let alone change, like that deer that got shot through the rib but lived and ossified the arrow - but they're on the killing end of it, so what does it matter in the end?

i don't know how they'd cross the bridge of trust at first tbh. i don't think minos would even want to look at gabriel. (he trusted him.) and yeah gabriel changed especially post 6-2/council murder but there's only so far that can take him. like i said above i think minos would let/make him live with what he did. i don't think sisyphus would want to take gabriel out as much, esp. if it's post 6-2 since at that point gabriel is just as holy as they are and killing him wouldn't really change anything. he's changed but he's still got a very long way to go yk?

ugh idk i feel like i could draw this better than i can write it. these are just random characters they don't mean anythingg

[kick-a-long]

my pronouns are actually in my bio btw no need to misgender 👍 would also prefer if you didnt call me a race faking jew but what can i expect from zionists ? yall have the same unoriginal shit every time. check the notes of that post and youll see a buncha people claiming im not jewish. it makes you so mad other jews dont hate palestinians like you do that you jump straight into grief and denial lmfao

I didn’t mean to misgender. I didn’t look. That I’m sorry for. I didn’t mean to but I should have looked, that was an honest mistake.

Calling you a fake Jew however I think it’s worth a conversation. I knew it was a low blow and I meant to do it.

You said that it makes sense for a Zionist to assume any antizionist Jew isn’t Jewish. But by saying, well all Zionists are X why does that make my saying, all antizionist Jews are faking, which I did heavily imply, I 100% did that, a rude thing to do? Both these things are rude unkind and unthoughtful generalizations. We shouldn’t do that to other people, just like we shouldn’t blame problems on the people suffering them. I’m talking antisemitism and antizionism.

You can’t really say “how dare you be rude!” When you started being rude to a Jew I follow. I defended them because I could. That said, we are both fucked because our family line, a thing we didn’t choose, has put all Jews in a place where we have to have an opinion.

I should feel safe to say, I think Israel should exist and they aren’t genocidal (backed up with evidence I find and my thoughts) that same way you should be able to say “I don’t think Israel should exist” in a synagogue (backed up by evidence and arguments you have) and both of us should be safe to talk about that.

I was mad and gave you a low blow I felt you deserved. Did you deserve it? Idk. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. I was raised hyper secular so my connection to being a Jew was almost entirely cultural and ethnic fear. I’ve been called a fake Jew by Jews and it hurts like a kick to the nuts. I intended to hurt you whether you merited it. I don’t know if I’m sorry yet. I think I understand where you are coming from. I was really pissed I had to know anything about Israel to live where I live in south Brooklyn frankly, I’m glad I learned and have made a bunch of Israeli friends who have a different experience from me that makes my life better but still, it shouldn’t have involved me because I’m a ny Jew who never planned to know. I have many interests and the whole thing is such a winding cluster fuck I was happy to be comfortable and dumb.

All this to say, I don’t like you being an asshole to me or Zionists and I hope you don’t love being an asshole either. Why don’t you consider coming round a ceasefire between you and Zionists? From my perspective Jews and Zionists are inseparable. You don’t agree which you might have reasons for I don’t know but if you go low I won’t argue. I’ll go lower. I’m not asking for agreement, I’m saying that inter community shit flinging serves no one.

If there’s dialogue to be had this isn’t doing it. That’s my full opinion. I’m angry at 2023 and 2024 and I’m happy to punch anyone about it, I don’t think that’s the best coping mechanism (but it feels good so fuck it right?)

I think you’re mad at other Jews because you’re being lumped in and being born Jewish has gotten you in a bad situation. I might be wrong about that but I’m right that you are attacking the wrong people, people you can avoid and people whose thinking has nothing to do with you, to prove you aren’t an evil person from birth. People who have seen bigotry and people who don’t deserve to be attacked or judged for how they are coping.

Don’t piss on my leg and say it’s raining, the reason you and I are in conflict has nothing to do with us as people and everything to do with being Jewish and goy opinions about that. Idk what else to say.

[william-s-churros]

buddyposting

i get why people do this, but i think that in trying to combat the perceived sexism in the lisa fandom, a lot of people seem to miss basically the entire point of these games by essentially excusing the behaviors of characters like lisa and buddy or acting like its fine that they did what they did, when what they did is take their anger at people who were stronger than them and who hurt them out on people who were weaker than them and had not hurt them (lisa to a lesser extent with buzzo, buddy with fucking every living person left on earth essentially but especially the pacifists/mr beautiful) brad also did this! almost like its.... the entire theme of the game.... that abuse is often cyclical... and acting like these actions were in any way justified is kinda uhhhhhhhh...... like even the new scenes with brads grandpa include long passages where he just shits on marty relentlessly and acts like the thing thats wrong with him spontaneously appeared out of thin air, rather than accept his own potential role in creating the horrible creature that marty is, and i can't imagine that thats the first time this kind of conversation happened. if anything, the strength that buddy has in the end is in her choice to not become the monster that everyone else does (symbolically portrayed in her choice to take the joy antidote, if you do that) and to wrench herself from that cycle of abuse that has, up until this point, literally caused her to kill pretty much everyone left on earth and also make it impossible for those that still remain to have any of their basic needs met, because one of the first warlords she kills is literally the guy who's responsible for vital infrastructure that keeps most people fed? i don't think that indicates strength-- i think it indicates weakness, in fact, if you feel like you have to exert your power over other people-- especially people who have no qualms with you!!-- through violence, and i dont think that even being the last girl on earth excuses her behavior. her anger is clearly so obviously mostly directed at brad, just as his anger is so clearly directed at marty, without really having the added benefit of the guilt about lisa and dusty that occasionally tempers that anger in brad to make him try to not be the person his father/grandfather was (though not enough that that really changes anything). i think these games operate on the premise that their protagonists are in fact wrong and misguided. i think if you simply write off anyone calling buddy wrong and misguided as merely sexism, you take away the thematic throughline of these games. i love buddy and i sympathize with her in her situation obviously, but i love her because she is fucked up and wrong and dangerously misguided and its not like you get to see female characters like this all the time-- especially not female characters who are not in abusive mother/shallow mean girl roles!!-- who are so unapologetically wrong and angry and violently awful to the people around them... its like, i guess, nice? like the need to soften her, make her less of a caustic, destructive and needlessly cruel element because she is a girl? i really don't love that lol. i dont love when people act like lisa didnt hurt anyone either. its not like being hurt makes it okay to hurt others, especially not those weaker than you. idk. i think about this a lot. i know the lisa wiki is written by some jabroni who doesnt take into account that brad and buddy are exactly alike, and seems not to give buddy the grace that they give brad, and i think that is wrong, but i also think that swinging back in the opposite direction and arguing that everything buddy did was fine bc shes a girl is kind of equally ridiculous and not doing anything to combat the sexism in this fandom lol.

like tl;dr igss: yeah its understandable why she comes to the conclusion that this is the best way to act, but it like. isnt? she is wrong lmao. so is brad. this whole family is wrong? they raise each other to be wrong because they were raised to be wrong because their parents were raised to be wrong, and so on and so forth, lol

(that said if you hit me with an ironic "buddy did nothing wrong" or "god forbid women do anything" im not gonna shit on you because of the inherent understanding in that joke that actually she did do wrong lmao. its just very serious and sincere posts that are like okay.... did we play the same game...)

[bonesandthebees]

finally put together my thoughts about last glass chapter, idk how comprehensible it all is but I dont have the words to praise it how it deserves

the use of the pythia in the ch27 is super interesting to me

there are moments where I wonder if he doesnt have a bit of a hard time letting go of the pythia title, its all he had for a big part of his life after all, it was what have him purpose in life

and the problem wasnt inheritly in the title or the role, it was in the rules and how he was treated, he deserved to be respected as a person even when he was the pythia

that cechovs syringe was really cool, at first it was scary bc the priests intentions were definitely to use it on wilbur and I really like how it went from a fear factor to our saving grace AND created wilburs whole dilemma about taking tommy away from his goddess but saving him

by having the priest have it at first and wilbur taking it it felt really smoothly incorporated into the story instead of wilbur just finding it somewhere or something

I hate how they blame wilburs change on the deathlings, the fact that he turned against clara, the tattoo choice, everything

even now its like they cant give credit for any decisions, for having a mind of his own and just cant imagine being a person without being the pythia

or even that hes someone while having the role of the pythia

and it just hurts to see so much

thats why schlatts change in attitude mustve hurt so much

clara failed wilbur and the other pythias that came before him so bad

like I understand that all those rules are man-made, but it feels like she should protect them when she uses them for her visions yk

is the curse real? like do you personally work with it as real? or is that something left up for interpretation (or will we learn next chapter maybe)? bc tommy was cursed and he did die but at the same time coming to the palace was dangerous in nature and the actual killing was enacted as jacks revenge and that has been going on way longer than tommy was cursed, everyone cursed was kinda set up for their death beforehand they even got cursed in a way

whether it is real or not it was yet another thing that built up to the moment of Wilbur deciding to save tommy and played a big role in it bc it was thanks to the curse that wilbur knew that tommy doesnt want to die and has been praying to krisitin bc of it and it looked like shes ignoring him and all this helped wilbur decide to save him

and I think he wouldnt have saved tommy without knowing all this. it goes against the deathlings' religion (at least i think? it was murder so im not sure sure but I think it was wrong on jacks side but on tommys side I dont think it matters how he died but taking him away from death is wrong) and tommy actually worshiped kristin of his own choice and wilbur knows that and he also knows what its like not to be respected

now ofc I cant be sure what wilbur wouldve done bc that crimeboys bond is STRONG and also in the heat of the moment, accounting it was murder and all, but still

oh my god

writing this I realised that you could say THE CURSE SAVED TOMMYS LIFE this is insane I am obsessed, I think this look on it makes it all really beautiful, storytelling wise

very interested in how theyll handle the fact that jack tried to kill tommy bc honestly this situation was very different from when tommy did it, it was PLANNED

glass!jack and glass!niki you are so interesting to me I am rotating you in my brain constantly, their path of thinking has captured me

I hope that schlatts confession about his opinion on the visions helps wilbur make his peace a bit, bc while it doesnt excuse how schlatt treated wilbur, it explains it and also shows that it wasnt wilburs fault that he was failing his role as the pythia when schlatt didnt listen bc he was basically set up to fail from the start

and yes wilbur is parting with his role as the pythia but this might still help him recover, bc at least he wasnt so bad at his one job all these year

and if it doesnt help at least we got schlatt calling wilbur pretty boy, obsessed

I love how in reaction to what schlatt says wilbur feels the pythia dying in the palace and leaving it behind

what a banger chapter, so much happened and it was all so interesting

all that happened and mainly the stuff around tommys dying just showa so perfectly what this story has been telling us this whole time, what the main theme is basically, and that is that in the end you when it matters the only one you can rely on is yourself, not some god and the scene with wilbur saving tommy and kristin not being there really pushes this on you so well I love it sm

rn im just putting all my hope on phil and the deathlings to save wilbur from being forced to be the pythia again

also probably very hypothetical question but im thinking about if wilbur got the option to kinda peacefully step out of his role of the pythia by getting a vision about the next one if he would do it or wouldnt bc he would refuse to bring that fate onto someone else

aaaa thank you, yes I really enjoyed playing around with using the pythia vs wilbur in this chapter. it's hard because I wanted the chapter to be mostly wilbur, but there were key moments where I knew he was going to slip back into the pythia mindset, mostly when he's talking to the priest and later to schlatt. it's not necessarily he's having a hard time letting go of the title, it's that he's spent so much of his life in this mindset that he's not a person, that he's supposed to be wholly devoted to this goddess that he keeps slipping in and out of that mental space.

I'm glad the syringe felt smoothly incorporated!! I was worried it would feel like too much of a "this is a surprise tool that will help us later" bit and while it definitely still was, I wanted it to be tied into what was going on and the worldbuilding and everything

I mean, wilbur has spent the last decade acting as a completely dedicated pythia. then he's gone for a little over half a year and suddenly he's gotten a tattoo and severed his ties to clara and is working with the deathlings? from the priests perspective you can kind of see how it's a bit difficult to believe he got there on his own. especially when they think of becoming the pythia as the highest honor anyone can attain, and how the dehumanizing aspects are meant to be more revered and honorable than anything else

oooo that's an interesting question about the curse. this is going to sound like a cop out answer but I swear it's not, I genuinely haven't decided if the curse is real or not. in a way I think of it like schrodinger's curse. it's both real and not real at the same time. all of the deaths can be explained away by circumstance, but that doesn't mean that the curse didn't cause them. I set it up so that it was completely up to interpretation. I hope that makes sense?

hmm that's an interesting take actually! I definitely think it was a combination of things that led to wilbur deciding to save tommy's life, but the ultimate deciding factor was simply that crimeboys have an unhealthy bond. wilbur will pull tommy back from death even if he's in the arms of his goddess, because he needs tommy by his side. tommy will fight to keep wilbur to himself and get jealous when he starts to heal and connect with other people. the two of them hurt each other because of how much they love each other. that was kind of the core of that whole thing, although I really like what you pointed out with the whole curse saving tommy's life in a way

glass!rocketduo are so interesting babygirls your logic is so screwed up <3

yeah, wilbur was set up to fail from the start. and it does help him find some kind of peace with it! it wasn't his fault, he wasn't a failure. schlatt was never going to listen to him for reasons outside his control.

yessss you get it, one of the primary themes is about relying on yourself and other people before relying on goddesses that might or might not choose to help you. the deities in glass are so far above humanity they can choose what they want to help with and when, and humanity is only left to try and understand why the goddesses do what they do but they'll never really be able to.

hmm that's also an interesting question... personally I think wilbur wouldn't pass on the teachings, but even then the priests would just do it for him so it wouldn't change much. I still think he would choose not to participate though.

thank you so much for the kind words i'm so glad you enjoyed!!!

[banana-milk-enthusiast]

Clear Card arc is finally done woohooo.....

🌸 SPOILERS BEWARE 🌸

I dont like being negative about this, I really did try to love it. But sitting through 80 chapters over several years just for an ending like that almost feels like an insult.

At least we got more Sakura, Xiaolang, and the og cast because not much else was going for it.

Rambles below I guess

It just felt so aimless all the time, and it was driving me insane. Outside of Sakura and Xiaolang's romantic relationship, there was no growth whatsoever. No one really matured further or learned a lesson or developed their character.

Admittedly I never cared for Akiho from the jump because she felt like she was just a Sakura clone with no personality; and while that ended up being the point due to plot it actually made me dislike her even more. She was literally just a plot device at all times, but the manga acts like you should be endeared to her somehow. Her crush on Kaito also made me more annoyed than anything but thats to me personally.

Kaito annoyed me at the beginning, but as more of his actions were revealed, I started finding him really interesting. But his plan was kinda disappointing ngl, where is the drama??? I literally felt no urgency about the situation because he was so soft that there wasn't even a 1% doubt in my mind anyone would end up hurt. In the end he wasnt even really a final villain.

Just a failed opportunity to make an actual villain. Which now that i think about it is something cardcaptor does very often, and yet Kaito is still the least interesting of the bunch. How is Eriol the child more menacing of a rival character than a mage that masters time magic.

Also, why make Sakura create all those clear cards just to get rid of them at the end. I understand that most of them were redundant, but like it feels like a waste. I actually enjoyed how she used the weirdly specific cards to her advantage. So to just delete most of them sucks. She pretty much keeps Flight and the ones with matches from the Clow cards fused.

And I can't believe i sat through all of that just to toss in some Tsubasa stuff in the end. I like Tsubasa. In super small quantities. But I actually dont want it to bleed into Cardcaptor. that's what XXXHolic is for cmon. Fai's symbol in the magic books, Sakura mentioning passing the clow staff on one day, Syaoran learning to master time magic.... It's too much. Because the whole heritage thing in Tsubasa is easily my least favorite part. It's so unnecessarily convoluted for no reason. I was about to start my Tsubasa rant, let me stop.

It just felt like nothing had happened. 80 chapters of just weirdly convoluted plot with no expense or dire situations. Like idk how to explain how i feel.

But if I read 80 chapters and the only emotions I feel are Confusion and Cuteness (over Sakura and Syaoran); then it's actually really sad. What happened to drama and suspense. Or literally anything about the Hero's journey. Does CLAMP need to go back to english class/creative lit???

I've read a lot of CLAMP works okay. I would even say I'm a fan. But this is probably one of the most boring work they've made. It's not the worst, but honestly, close.

Now, this might just be my childhood rose colored glasses for the og. Or the fact I'm much more familiar with the anime than the manga, which I only read once. I know the anime made many changes, so for all I know, the og manga could've been the same in writing. But I really hope that should the anime return, it cleans up whatever that mess was because I felt like I was slowly going insane during Clear Card arc.

[noxiatoxia]

Ep 15 where Hikaru holds Kaoru's hand trembling because he was scared for his safety... that shit fuckin HITS. I love how well Hikaru and Kaoru were able to use their trickster personas to hide the fact that that Wasnt Planned, and how it was silently agreed to do that because anything else would be Too Genuinely Vulnerable.

And how Hikaru is worried too!! How Kaoru has to comfort Hikaru when it really should be the other way around, but Hikaru legit just Cannot handle his own emotions and needs Kaoru to comfort him about his worry. Like!!! Ive been in situations where I've had to comfort somone because they were really worried about me and part of me was a little annoyed, like 'this really should be about me rn', but a much bigger part of me was overwhelmed by the emotions of someone being so worried about me that they Needed to hold my hand to make sure im there and alive and okay. Now I don't think Kaoru was too surprised by Hikarus response given, well, their whole dynamic, but I still like to think its something he secretly likes but knows he shouldnt. Like ofc he doesnt want to get hurt. But like. Idk he cant deny that the very outward worry from someone he loves as much as Hikaru is a bit addicting. So I like to think he hides his injuries from him generally, in part as to not worry Hikaru because he cares about him. But also because he likes his response Too Much. Hope that makes sense lmao

Also as an aside because ive been thinking about it, in episode 16 I love just how much is shown to the audience about the twins dynamic in their tiny interaction where Kaoru follows after Hikaru after his outburst about Arai. Like Kaoru doesnt even really console him, he like. Makes fun of his temper. But his tone of voice is so different than usual, much softer and sincere sounding, at least in the dub. And i just love how they showed that they're very open and honest about their feelings with eachother. Theyre not good communicators (well Hiakru isnt), but they dont have to be with eachother. They just know what the other intends. I also love how Hikaru doesnt redirect his anger to Kaoru, something that would be so easy to do, especially given that he doesnt understand his own emotions. He's just is kinda gruff and open with him. And Kaoru is just as open in that he doesnt agree with Hikarus behavior. But it doesnt come across like a disagreement because they're just. So in sync. Kaoru just wants Hikaru to be better and learn and Hikaru couldnt be actually pissy with him even if he's pissed generally. Idk just those episodes are just so damn good. Episode 16 is a bit hard to watch for me tho, cause of how majorly dickish Hiakru is, which sucks because its one of my favorites

AUGH AGUH IT TRULY IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD...I LOOOOVE Hikaru's overreactions in the show. Being separate from Kaoru, seeing him get hurt, he goes APESHIT. He's so fucking unhealthily codependant it's awesome.......But also, I think it's usually the quick succession or severity of these things. Like, Hikaru CAN be alone as we've seen in episode 16, but I think sudden and forceful separation makes him panic like in ep 21. Same with Kaoru being wounded. I think what scared him the most was how quick it happened, and the fact Kaoru legit could have died or gotten seriously injured if the vase fell on his head. Kaoru seems to be a lot more calm in these situations like in ep 26 where he has every right to fucking panic about Hikaru being flung off of the [REDACTED] bc let's be real....based on the way he fell he should have broke a rib or his neck not his arm. And while Kaoru was super worried obviously he didn't go into panic mode like Hikaru would have. Whether it's simply a better grasp on his emotions (doubtful) or him masking as to not maybe make Hikaru panic more is for debate. I just think it's interesting they both react in their own ways to the other being injured.

That reminds me, I have...2 fics I should prob finish one day about either Hitachiin getting hurt and the other freaking out lol. One is based off that part in ep 26

Now I don't think Kaoru was too surprised by Hikarus response given, well, their whole dynamic, but I still like to think its something he secretly likes but knows he shouldnt. Like ofc he doesnt want to get hurt. But like. Idk he cant deny that the very outward worry from someone he loves as much as Hikaru is a bit addicting. So I like to think he hides his injuries from him generally, in part as to not worry Hikaru because he cares about him. But also because he likes his response Too Much. Hope that makes sense lmao

THIS ^^^^^^^^ I 100% agree. I think considering how unhealthily codependent they are, Kaoru would absolutely get some sort of validation and dopamine over Hikaru worrying about him. It cements to Kaoru that Hikaru still cares, something he worries about a lot. He knows (thinks) they won't be close forever, knows (thinks) that they'll drift apart sometime here, and so getting those reactions from Hikaru is a way of comforting him, by letting him know it's not that time yet and Hikaru still cares.

Like you said, I think Kaoru (unless he was very mentally unwell, which I CAN see in specific settings or instances) wouldn't try to hurt himself or put himself in dangerous situations to get a reaction out of his brother. For the most part he would hide that aspect of himself and by extension any injury he got because he feels really guilty and weird that he gets a sense of euphoria over driving Hikaru up a wall with worry. So it's better to just not engage at all.

ALSO YEAH episode 16 was such a good episode to show case the differences and ways the twins handle individual conflict. I love that scene in the bedroom, showing how the twins can be snappy with each other but you can clearly tell it doesn't mean anything malicious. It's just how they talk, which makes sense. I also really love just....uhhhhghghgh Kaoru. Kaoru who orchestrated a whole date for his brother just to teach him some important life lesson, coming to terms he couldn't teach that to Hikaru himself. Juxtaposed to ep 21 where he's afraid of "losing" HIkaru, there's some bitter irony in the fact it's all Kaoru's own fault Hikaru is as open as he is now, as he directly pushed his brother to be those things, and the fact that even KNOWING he's the reason he still can't let go as he tails his brother around in ep 16, it's so so so fucking good. I think a lot of people forget Kaoru is JUST as emotional as Hikaru, and this episode portrays it well. Kaoru is just very quiet about his emotions, and so his need to always be involved in Hikaru's life, his fear of losing him, translates to, basically, micromanaging and stalking him. Which is Not Healthy and I think a lot of people think just cuz Kaoru doesn't have violent outbursts like Hikaru does that means he's not as emotional which just isn't true at all.

I think it's funny you dislike how much of a petulant brat Hikaru was in that episode. I mean tbf, the show WANTS you to disagree with him because the point of the episode is to teach him that important lesson, but I found it personally hilarious the fact he acted like that. It's very, very Hikaru to get Angry at any emotion and situation you don't understand. I will say tho I do have issues rewatching ep 16 because it is So Much Emotional Baggage for me. I care too much about these paper drawings and so I care Too Much watching the episode.

Also cuz I view the hika/haru stuff in a completely platonic way cuz I think it's better for the story and I know the author and stuff meant for it to be romantic which semi pisses me off. Hikaru could never pull a woman. Don't make me laugh.

However, he SHOULD have gone on an apology date with Arai. That would have been awesome.