#idk i spent the first hour of my day looking at paintings
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it's interesting that yingdu E1 is gonna be the episode that really tells you if you like S1 story structure more, or S2 story structure more.
I thought yingdu would be more like S2 but I'm actually pleasantly surprised it starts more like S1? and I already knew this about myself but I really loved the episodic, slice of life nature of the first half of S1 (and the chibi shorts). I loved S2 and all, but the first time I fell in love with link click it was because of the day-to-day kind of issues they face before they started playing mind games with other people who have abilities like them. and I think I wouldn't have enjoyed S2 or even the back half of S1 if the show didn't start with episodic, low stakes cases. of course, I think they'll probably mix both storytelling styles this special season.
but idk, I really missed that vibe. shiguangling being domestic is sweet. I did like the cosplay story more than vivian's story, though I think them trying to set up the scammer parallel to lu guang was funny. I think cheng xiaoshi shines a lot in these kinds of moments because he's very empathetic even with the little things. lu guang is the one dealing with a lot of big picture stuff (time and death itself) but cheng xiaoshi? he just wants to set up a photography studio and maybe help a couple of people out when he can. play basketball. find a cosplayer to return her paintings. help their student council president to not get scammed.
he's just a little guy! look at him! he thrives in low stakes situations!! give him milk tea and he's happy 🤗
I think the most surprising details in this episode were:
lu guang is in the anime club :o
lu guang kept a detailed notebook of the past?? damn. I feel like he spent one timeline just memorizing and noting down events, down to the last minute.
"your eyes remind me of two people I knew" holy shit. time traveler parents possibly true. what if cheng xiaoshi's parents are lost to the time stream? like, they faced the consequences lu guang said you'd face if you stayed more than 12 hours into a picture (notably though, lu guang doesn't seem? to have this issue when he dives? or I guess past 12 hours you get "stuck" in the past and aren't able to come back to your "present")
what is up with cheng xiaoshi always wanting lu guang to be his partner "for life" asdfghjkl. my guy. you're so sweet
lu guang moves into the photo studio during their university years and bridon happens right after. and he's wearing cheng xiaoshi's summer clothes...
cheng xiaoshi did not clap when he activated his powers with the bridon picture (his hands were holding the envelope and the picture). which is... weird? how did that happen? also he went there as himself which means this picture was... not taken by a photographer? because otherwise he should've possessed someone like normal
finally: lu guang didn't have a watch in the beginning. idk why I always thought he had a watch. anyway, I think we can use the placement of his watch as a signifier of which timeline we're in
no watch: original timeline. when lu guang dives back here, I guess he buys a watch afterwards
watch on the left hand: either the og timeline (after he buys a watch) or the first time he dives? the timeline with cheng xiaoshi's first death? the style of the bedroom makes me think this happened in the first time they go to bridon (which isn't necessarily the same timeline we're seeing in the donghua right now).
edit: actually, scratch that. now I think this might have been lu guang's bedroom lol. the date is 4/12 which is the day cheng xiaoshi reads the 👌 text from lu guang about playing basketball again
it's also consistent with the flashback to cheng xiaoshi's death in S2E1 — watch is on the left hand.
watch on the right hand: S2 finale dive / yingdu E1 dive. which means vein showing up in the photo studio happened sometime during our "current" timeline.
lu guang keeps his watch on his right hand during S1 and S2 as well (catguang in the chibi shorts also has a watch on his right... paw).
there's probably other details I missed but anyway. welcome back link click!! I'm already one square away from getting a bingo in my yingdu bingo card lmao
#mine musings#liveblogging link click#link click spoilers#also. ani mi subtitles seem much better than the one from bilibili#idk if crunchy does simulcast for this#link click
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ever the one for blind sacrifice
#idk i spent the first hour of my day looking at paintings#found a new brush#and thought “I'm going to fuck around and find out”#and here he is#fearless reader fearless sacrifice#leonardo rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#tmnt#tmnt art#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#tmnt 2018#chucks this into the abyss#I DUNNO IF I LIKE THIS ANYMOOOOREEEEEE#khayas art
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stupid cupid
ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist
pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) warnings: oral sex (f receiving), unprotected P in V, a few ass slaps, sex toys (butt plug and a dp dildo), anal play, anal sex (with a dildo), double penetration, creampie, vague fluff and emerging feelings (gross), the wings stay ON. word count: 5.2k summary: Joel makes a return to your home, this time with another gift to give. Will you be his Valentine?
A/N: he's here. he's back. baubles joel, big bawl joel, the holiday king himself. and yes, yet again something that probably shouldn't be a series is becoming a loose-fit series because I just can't quit.
I guess you can all be my Valentine's if you'd like and we can smooch and hold hands and stuff, idk (I love you 💛) gorgeous V day divider by @saradika-graphics
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You didn't expect to scream the moment you entered your bedroom after a long day at work.
Of course, you had wanted to scream all day. First, when you spent the morning fighting with a piece of software that just did not want to work. Then, when you watched your colleagues trickle out of the building well before 5pm, all on their way to romantic dates, while you were stuck in your seat making up for your - and their - lost time this morning. And when you finally stumbled from the building at 8pm, only to sit in traffic for another fucking hour? You may just have let a furious squeal escape your throat as you gripped the steering wheel.
As you finally pulled into your driveway, the only things on your mind were a hot shower and takeout food.
The first part had gone without a hitch. Mostly.
Stripping off your work clothes before you'd even got to the bathroom, you hadn't noticed a single thing different about your home. As you tossed your clothes into the hamper, nothing was amiss. Stepping under the hot stream of water, you felt totally at peace for the first time that day. There was a kind of serenity to be found in your own bathroom that didn't exist anywhere else. No, nothing was unusual at all.
And then you'd loosely wrapped a towel around you, not bothering to dry yourself, and crossed the short distance across the hall to your bedroom. You weren't to know you never closed the door this morning when you left - that was 14 hours ago, afterall. Sunset had long since been and gone, so how were you to see anything, or anyone, where it shouldn't be until you sleepily flicked the light on after closing the door behind you.
So, naturally, when your brain finally registered DANGER - INTRUDER you screamed, almost dropping your towel in the process.
And that's where you still are, locked to the spot, fight or flight truly fucking off from your mind entirely, as you stare straight ahead.
There's a man on your bed. A very familiar man. His hulking figure splayed across it like some kind of fucking renaissance painting, naked as the day he was born, except for the fairy wings strapped to his back with elastic and... is that a bow and arrow? And a pacifier?
"Santa Joel?"
Joel rolls his eyes, pulling the pacifier from his mouth with a pop.
"I ain't Santa. Does this look like Santa to you?" he says, with a sweeping broad gesture down his body. He decidedly does not look like Santa. You're not sure what he looks like, and you're not sure you care when you can't help but notice he's at half mast already. Dragging your eyes from his crotch, you look at his face, somehow sweet and angelic even with his dick out.
"Okay, well... what are you?"
Looking at you in disbelief, he slaps the pacifier down onto the bed before swinging his legs over the edge to sit upright. Only, now you're not so sure it's a pacifier. It looks like a - but why was he sucking on it?
"Ain't it Valentine's Day? I'm Cupid, stupid."
"Cupid Joel?"
"Cupid Joel. It really that difficult to work out?" With a lopsided grin he picks up the bow, miming shooting you, before resting his elbows on his knees. The soft trickle of water down your body feels more and more like you're melting by the second. A practical stranger like Joel shouldn't have been able to do this to you the first time, but the fact he was here again, charming and suave, despite the nudity and criminal activity, told you all you needed to know. You were painfully and woefully attracted to him and you would do just about anything to have a night with him again.
"Well, Cupid Joel, you broke into my house. Again."
He ignores you, lounging back on your bed and spreading his knees wide, picking up the - yep, that's definitely a butt plug - again and sucking it into his mouth. Removing it with a flourish, he looks you up and down, a question in his eyes before looking to his own cock, now much harder than it was a moment ago.
"Different guy, you said that was Santa Joel." You can see him holding back a laugh, and you'd be tempted to wipe the smirk from his face if you weren't rooted to the spot. "Anyway, that guy told me he didn't see any pictures when he was here, guessed you didn't have a Valentine. Figure everyone deserves some lovin' on the big day," he says with a shrug and a quirk of his mouth. "So, here I am. Your very own Cupid, if you'll have me, 'course. Don't gotta stay, I can leave if you want me to."
You didn't want him to leave. He'd broken into your house again, and you were exhausted, but seeing him lie there, naked in your bed with the evidence of his little dress up game strewn around him, stirred things in you. If he was willing to give you some lovin' then who were you to turn that down. You're only human, after all, and it is Valentine's Day.
So, you do the only logical thing in that moment and drop your towel without another thought.
"'Atta girl," Joel chuckles patting the bed beside him. "C'mere, got you a present."
Incredible, if slightly strange, sex with a stranger, and he bought you a present? Suddenly the day isn't feeling quite as shit as it was an hour ago, and damp and naked, you approach your bed. You're close enough to him now that you can smell him again, that soft oaky smell throwing you back to the twinkling lights of Christmas Eve. You didn't know any more about him now than you did that night, really. Though, truth be told, you hadn't tried too hard to find him. You had a good time, and the soft lit fantasy of Santa Joel was something you enjoyed exactly as it was. Unveil the man, and you threatened to ruin that fantasy. But a night with Cupid Joel? That could be a new fantasy altogether.
"S'not Christmas any more, don't remember ever having to sit on Cupid's knee to get a Valentine," you murmur, sitting back on your heels as Joel's large hand slides up your thigh. You watch as it moves from your knee to your hip and back again, fingers gently teasing your sensitive inner thigh on the way down. The only hands that had touched you since Christmas were your own, though you had spent night after night imagining his all over you. You were starting to think you'd fallen asleep at the wheel and this was all some wonderful stress dream.
But then he presses a soft kiss to your knee, the scratch of his facial hair rubbing just enough to let you know this is all very, very real and you'd very much like more of it.
"Ain't gonna make you sit on my knee for it. Might want you to sit on somethin' else though."
You laugh, rolling your eyes. "Real smooth, Cupid."
And then he's smiling up at you as he leans forward to kiss your thigh, then your belly, pushing you back with one large hand until you're laying beneath him, spread bare and open as he makes his way back down to your thighs.
It's so easy to get lost in it. The soft scratch of the scruff on his chin, rough fingertips moving gently across your thighs, soft lips pressing and sucking delicately on you, catching the last specks of water from your skin with each pass of his mouth. Your eyes drift closed just as his breath ghosts across your mound, another soft kiss soon following, and another, and another.
Until, blissfully, his soft mouth connects with your clit, tongue peaking out to swipe across the sensitive bud. It had been so long since anyone had gone down on you, long before you made the move to Texas last year, you'd almost forgotten what it felt like. Stuttering for a while, you're about to feebly mumble how good it feels, but all thoughts grind to a halt when he sucks your clit into his mouth, moaning before softly releasing. You had never had a man moan eating your cunt before, and now here you were, fairly certain angels were real and you'd gone to heaven, taken there by Cupid Joel and his wings.
"You always this late home, or did you have a date that went to shit?" he mumbles around your clit. It's a small sneaky way that he asks, wanting clarification on something he was almost certain of but you had yet to confirm. There were no pictures in your house, but that didn't mean there wasn't anyone in the picture.
Shaking your head, you gasp out a response. "Work - work went to shit. Ohh."
"Bad day?"
"Yeah, it - fuck, Joel."
It's then that you take your first opportunity to look down and see him between your legs. His hair looks even fluffier, his hands pushing your thighs open while his fingers pull you apart at the seams. His eyes closed, lashes fanned against his cheek, tongue softly lapping against your center, gusts of his hot breath billowing against your mound. He's beautiful.
And he's still in the fucking fairy wings.
A laugh primes itself, ready to explode out of you, but another firm lick sends you reeling, head hitting the mattress with a thud. Whatever he's doing to you, whatever this fucking day has done to you, you're going to come, and fast.
"Cu-Cupid Joel. Don't fucking stop."
Joel stops mid-lick, earning a frustrated moan from you, eyes widening from where he looks up between your thighs. "Already?" he asks in disbelief, noticing how quickly your legs and cunt have started to twitch.
"Stupid fucking cupid, don't stop, please."
His mouth finds your clit again and he's devouring you, lapping quickly against your cunt as your squirm into him, hips rocking your cunt against his tongue. Another day you'll wonder if it was his tongue or your movement that got you there, but right now all you know is the thick syrupy feeling in your veins as an orgasm quickly rockets through you, a strangled moan leaving your throat as you fist your sheets in your hands. You've muffled him, your thighs clamping around his head as he pushes further forward, tongue buried in your folds until you can't take it any more and you're desperately pulling away from him.
When you release your grip on his head, he gasps, cursing into the plushness of your thighs. Sitting up, he looks down at you, the bedroom light illuminating him from behind, making the wings glow on his back like your very own heavenly creature.
"Wanna see your present now?"
The fog in your head has barely cleared, your ears still fuzzy as you take in his words. Somehow a tongue on your pussy wasn't your Valentine's gift from Cupid?
"Wha - that wasn't it?"
"Nope."
"Is that it," you say, letting a thread of hope feed into your voice while you nod to where his cock hangs heavy between his legs.
"Not exactly, but you can have that too if you want it, darlin'."
You don't know what you expect, but Joel reaches over and picks the butt plug from where he'd discarded it on your bed earlier, and holds it out to you.
"Don't know if you're into it but," he holds the plug out to you, base first. The pink glass looks so delicate in his fingers, and it takes a twist of his hand for you to see it, but the heart shaped base of the plug soon becomes clear to you, brain foggy as it is, and you laugh, the sound bubbling out of your lips as your head tips back, laughing so hard you can feel your tits shake.
"You had that in your mouth."
Joel shrugs. "Better now than after it's been in your ass."
"Why're you so sure it's goin' into my ass?"
Got him, flashes through your mind when you watch his face drop. You don't let him suffer for long.
"I'm fucking with you. You're tellin' me you broke into my house but didn't go through my shit? I got three in the drawer over there."
"Three?!" he says in faux shock, rolling you over onto your front and grabbing at your ass cheeks. He pulls them apart, the cool glass in his hand pushing into your cheek as he tugs you open.
You shriek, swatting behind you as you laugh again. "Joel- what the fuck are you doing!?"
"Checkin' where you keep these three assholes."
"I'm lookin' at one asshole right now."
Now it's his turn to laugh, a deep rich sound that has your toes curling and your pulse sky rocketing, pulling you out of it with a gasp when he slaps a hand down on your ass only to watch it ripple with the impact.
"So, do you want it in?"
"Mhm, I have lube in the bedside table."
A rummage later, you wait, kicking your feet in the air, resting your chin in the cup of your palm. When he turns again, he sees you waving your ass from side to side, ready for him. Slick is coating your pussy, your upper thighs glossy with it too.
"That a present all for me?"
Pulling your cheeks apart again, he kisses each one, lightly nipping on the soft flesh as he does. And then, without much warning, he burries his tongue between your spread legs, licking a thick stripe from your clit to your asshole, groaning with every lick over your tight ring. Fisting the sheets, you press your face into the mattress. If he's going to keep doing this before he even fucks you, you're going to come again and fall asleep before he can get inside you.
"I thought this was a present for me, you're acting mighty excited back there."
"It is. Never said I wouldn't get anythin' outta it though."
A cool trickle of lube drizzles into your crack, quickly spread by Joel's large finger. He teases for a moment, circling your tight hole a little before gently pushing in.
"Fuck."
Moaning in agreement, you almost speak to agree, but then his finger is gently fucking your asshole and all words fail you. Coming just a moment ago did nothing to stop the need you had for this man, the feeling in your core growing tenfold as each moment passed.
"Fuck, Joel, put it in my ass and fuck me already."
The strangled noise from behind you startles you, and you look back for a second to see Joel's eyes pinched together and his head thrown back as his hand grips tightly around the base of his cock, wings falling forward over his shoulders as he desperately tries to relax himself.
"You can't say shit like that to me, darlin'."
"Then stick it in me, stupid."
Fingers slick with lube, he strokes the plug, before sliding the cold tip across your hole.
"Wanted go slow. Wanna watch you take it."
With a soft push, he presses the tip forward, watching as your hole accepts the cold tip with ease. This was always something you loved, even playing with your plugs by yourself when the feeling took you. It had been too long since anyone else had played with your ass, and you can't say you were too mad about Joel being the first to touch you there in so long.
The stretch is soft, and soon the bulb of the head pushes past your tight ring, making Joel hiss behind you as he watches you take it. He fucks you with it once, then twice, before pushing firmly, letting your ass take the entire length of the plug. Twisting it, he sits the heart upright, before leaning forward to kiss it. It's not often you get a man's face buried in your ass so, figuring it's karmic justice for the species, you push back into him, holding back a laugh when a small oomph escapes his lips when your ass collides with his face.
"Gonna tell Santa Joel you did that. No nice list for you."
"Then if I'm already on the naughty list, fuck me already. You promised me lovin'."
Wiggling your ass, you arch your back to expose your pussy to him even more. He hasn't so much as put a finger in you yet, and part of you is glad for it. You want to feel his cock pull you apart as it fills you, pushing past the ridge of the plug lodged in your ass. You want to feel stretched and full and ruined.
Joel seems to be on the same page, shuffling forward, dick in hand, sliding the tip through your slick folds. Catching on your entrance, he runs the tip of his dick across the plug where it's nestled inside you before pushing down, slipping into your empty hole.
And fuck is it tight. If it feels this good for you, the half-filled and stretched wide feeling of his cock in one hole and the plug in the other, you wonder how it must feel on his dick. You're wet, dripping really, soaking his cock and letting him in with ease, but there's the solid lump of the plug dragging along the top side of his cock as he pushes in.
Deciding he's going too fucking slow, too tentative when all you want is to be filled, you push back. In one swift rock you take him to the root, gasping and hitting the bed with your fists as he bottoms out, his own fingers digging into you flesh harshly.
"Sh-fuck, fuck."
Stopping, you almost pull away, worried you might have hurt him, but his grip stops you. Before you can turn or question him, he's pulling back, slamming in hard again, groaning when you take him completely.
If Santa Joel destroyed you, Cupid Joel is going to wreck you entirely. And you welcome it.
He's fucking you steadily in no time, relishing in the sound of your moans getting higher and higher in pitch with each pound.
Your knees buckle first, planting you face first in your sheets. Joel tries to pull you up, but his own knees are slipping, dragged down by the grip of your cunt on his cock. Giving in, he crowds over you, pumping deep into you despite the tangle of limbs you've become in the last few seconds. Somewhere in the scuffle you've kicked the bow and arrow, listening as they clatter to the floor just as tangled as the two of you are.
He's warm, and sweaty, and heavy above you, holding just enough of his weight on his elbows to let you breathe. Making a few more shallow thrusts, he suddenly stills, nose breathing deep into your hair.
"Shit. Can't come yet. I got one more surprise for you," he pants into your ear, offering you a soft kiss to your shoulder before his weight shifts.
You want to grab him and hold him to you, beg him to come in you already, but he has other ideas and he's pulling out before you can grab him. "Ugh."
"Gimme a sec," he grunts from behind you. "Can't - hmfph - get it over - god damn it - my balls. There. Got it. Snug but, damn, look at that."
Looking behind you, you watch as he sways from side to side, looking down where his cock bobs between his legs. He's mesmerized, and soon so are you.
He's strapped another cock just below his own, the tapered black dildo just shorter than he is. It sits flush to his full balls, anchored to them by a thick ring, another wrapped around his length. Even with the sounds of his struggle, you're amazed he got it on so quickly.
"Don't have to take both but," and he shrugs - fucking shrugs all coy and uncertain as if he hasn't reached into the depths of your brain and pulled out your most desperate fantasy of taking two cocks at once.
"Didn't wanna spook you, but given you like gettin' your asshole played with," he says with a press to the plug still sat in your ass. "Worth finding out if you're into ass fuckin' too."
You were. Fuck yes, you were. You had your own collection of toys and plugs for a reason, but it had been a criminally long time since anyone had really fucked you there. Other than Joel, it had been a criminally long time since anyone had fucked you anywhere.
"If I say yes, what else are you gonna pull out from back there? You got a bag of tricks around here somewhere."
Joel gives you a toothy grin, stroking his hand over his slicked cock before sliding two fingers straight into you. "Tool bag is downstairs, but ain't got anythin' in there I'd like to put in here darlin', don't worry."
Fingers slipping slick and wet inside you, pressing firmly upward with help of the plug still lodged in your ass, you're rendered speechless again. Reaching out for him you hold his hand in place, fucking yourself on his fingers for a moment before reaching further toward him.
Joel gasps when your hand gently cups around his balls, the thick rings of the toy strapped around them making them seem even fuller with the press of the dildo into them. You roll reach one beneath your fingers, catching the dark look in his eyes.
"You like 'em, huh? Know you liked havin' 'em in here."
"Fuck. Thought about it so much since. Dreamed of you coming back to fuck me with them again."
"Tsk, ain't disappointing you, am I?"
"Joel, you have two cocks and you're threatening me with a good time. You couldn't disappoint me right now even if you tried. And you broke into my house. Again. Now, if you don't fuck my ass with either of the cocks you have there soon I'm going to do it myself," you say, fingers stilling on his balls, before you think again and add, "Please."
"Since you asked so nicely, sweetheart. C'mon now, lemme take this out. Can put it back in this needy hole after. That's it."
It's surreal, looking up at him as he gently tugs the plug out of your ass, offering you sweet murmurs of encouragement. You know nothing about him, save for his first name and penchant for dress up games. And yet, the desire you have for him is steadily creeping upward as time ticks on. Truthfully, you didn't even really remember what he looked like when you thought about him, fingers toying with your clit as you came to memories of Christmas eve. Low light and mind melting orgasms will do that to you. All you knew was his voice and the soft filthy way he fucked you. Now, getting a proper look at him without the shield of twinkling lights and that red jacket, you can truly appreciate him. He's fit, though you suspect he's never stepped foot in a gym a day in his life. He's soft too, in the way that strong sturdy things are soft. You want nothing more than to pull him into you, to press his softness against your own as he ruts into your holes, but that's decidedly not what this is. Whatever this is, between the mild crime and fucking, it isn't that sort of soft sweet thing.
You don't know how he's going to do it, which cock is going to take which hole, but you decide you don't care when he's leaning over you to press a soft kiss to your lips. When your legs wrap around him of their own accord it's all but decided, and he takes his cock in hand - his real one - and lines up with your dripping slit, pushing in slightly before fumbling below for the other. It takes a moment - the lubed up dildo slipping from his grasp as he huffs and tries, but fails, to slot it against you. Briefly tangling your fingers with his, you take over, positioning the toy at your ass, feeling it slip in a little already as he grinds his hips forward, desperate to be balls deep in you again. With both cocks poised and ready you moan, quivering and clamping your eyes shut at merely the thought of being fucked in both holes at once.
With one more press forward, Joel slides in, the glide of lube easing the dildo into your ass as his cock reclaims its place inside your pussy.
And fuck, you have never been so full, and Joel has never fucked something so damn tight. The space his cock would normally make is taken up by the dildo, fighting for position inside of you as he rocks gently, sliding in and out of you with gradually deeper movements. The deeper he presses, the more desperate your moans become, and you catch the hesitation in his face before he can move.
"Don't you fuckin' dare stop."
This time he doesn't, wordlessly pushing into you and filling both your holes to the brim as sweat trickles down his face. You want to lick it off him, to sink your nails into his back, wings be damned, to lick the salt from his skin and bite down into the the firm flesh at his neck. But the only thing you can do before he's fucking you in earnest is grab hold, careful to avoid snapping the elastic of his wings against his shoulders as he pounds forward. There's no candlelight and rose petals here, just the raw sound of skin slapping against skin, grunts heaving into the air as you pull yourselves into each other.
"Tell me how it feels," you rasp into his ear, watching the flap of wings over his shoulder. "Tell me how it feels fucking me with both of your cocks."
"Oh, shit, it's good. So good, baby. Someone's definitely goin' on the naughty list next Christmas. You likin' this? You likin' being fucked in both holes?"
A frantic nod is all you can manage as he starts hitting a spot in you you didn't know existed, building pressure in your cunt like never before.
"I know. You're just so full, ain't you. Take two dicks so well. Pulling me in so good."
Hoisting your legs over Joel's hips, you grip around him, a loud moan bursting out of your chest as he fucks back down, deeper now at the new angle. This is it. This is how you die, you're sure of it.
"How close - How close are you. I think I'm gonna - fuck - die -AH!"
He stops grunting for a moment to force out a breathless "Am I hurtin'?"
It only takes one look at you for Joel to realize he's not hurting you at all. There you are, fucked all the way to oblivion and back, a chorus of angels screaming in your ears with each snap of his hips. You're going to come again, clit untouched and holes filled, a way you've never managed to before. You don't even know how it's happening, all you know is that suddenly your soul feels like it's being pulled straight from your bones, through the middle of you and out through your cunt and asshole at the hands of Cupid Joel himself. And then you're gushing, mind and pussy totally detached as you come, soaking his cock and your sheets.
"Yeah that's it," he grunts, his weight surrounding you once more as he pushes into your spasming holes over and over, chasing his own release. If it wasn't for the damn tight rings around his cock and balls he would've come already, but your moans in his ear and your fingers gripping his shoulders spur him forward.
"Joel."
"Gonna come. Gonna fuckin' - uh - come in your tight fuckin' pussy."
"Yes, yes, come in me, please, I can't, I'm gonna -"
Joel stiffens, hips stuttering as he gives you a few hard, shallow thrusts, before he explodes inside you, groaning so loud it makes your ears ring and cunt make one last attempt to clench around him. As much as you soaked him, he's just filled your cunt, cum pushing deep inside you with each spurt, locked in place by the fullness of the two cocks inside you. You collapse back, your ears still ringing and your limbs feeling soft and heavy.
This time you're certain black out for a moment.
But when you peel open your eyes, Cupid Joel is above you again, halo'd by the bright yellow light on your bedroom ceiling. His hair is damp, wet even, from sweat, a bead trickling down his neck and glittering in the light. And in his eyes there's concern, a worried pinch in his brow as he searches your face.
"You passed out -"
"- You're still here."
He rolls his eyes. "Way to make a guy feel special, sweetheart," he says with a cocky smile. "Just checkin' on you, but I can get goin' as long as you're okay."
You nod, the movement feeling as slurred as your speech. "You left. Last time. Saw you walkin'. Jus' wonderin'."
"Wait... you saw that? Shit, I thought you were asleep."
"No, wasn't 'sleep."
"You gonna sleep now?"
"No," you murmur with a nod, closing your eyes as you feel the last sweep of his hand down your neck, pulling a sheet over your limp form, just for you to mumble one last thing before the soft darkness takes you. "Balls... next time... please."
"You got it, darlin'."
It's an arduous journey to the bathroom when you wake up in the dead of night, remnants of cum trickling down your legs and thighs sticking together. Quickly cleaning yourself up, you check the house for signs of him, already knowing that he's long gone. You wonder how he left this time, whether he kept the wings on, whether he still had a second cock strapped to his own as he escaped into the darkness. For all you know, your cupid could have flown away on glittered fairy wings.
And then you're crawling back into bed, takeout long forgotten, any hunger you had satisfied in a different way than you expected. Somehow there's comfort in the wet patch you curl yourself around. Cupid Joel is gone from your house, but there are still traces of him here. The cum on the sheets, the ache between your legs and, as you reach to turn the light off and let darkness take you, the butt plug on your bedside table. Between the Christmas decorations stashed in a box in your closet and this plug, you were slowly amassing pieces of a man you didn't really know - gifts from a stranger that made you feel more at home in this place you'd moved to than anything else had managed to in ten months.
Tracing the outline of the heart with your finger, you stretch and snuggle back down into bed, letting exhaustion take hold and when you dream, you dream of flying.
next part
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#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#pedro pascal characters#coveted fics#big bawl jawl#never forget the balls#fic: dress up joel
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Text
Escape
Pairings: Yoongi × y/n
Genre/tags: Arranged marriage
Warning: 🔞🔞 smut/angst, mention of food/eating, cursing, sensual touching, making out, needy/clingy, Pet name, lies, kink, unprotected sex, Smoking, jealousy, insecurity, mention of weight&food/eating, oral (m/f receiving), mention of blood/violence
~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 5.8k
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
Note: continuation of Prisoner.
I hope this is a good part 2. 🙏🏻 took me a while coz idk if i should or not. 😅 sorry guys.
(This may continue a bit more...? But please be patient 🙏🏻 as I do have work & usually I try to write before i sleep but lately i've beeen so tired and drained that I cant even function 😅)
***
Another day, another event to go to. You are wearing your best 'pretend' smile. The smile you have practiced for months, to be your default expression whenever you meet anyone in any formal event. It's not that your trying to be fake. You just want to represent your husband the best that you can. And being a shy person, this is what you can do to help yourself.
Although, you wish, that even just one time, Yoongi would show up to these events with you.
At the first month of your marriage, he did. He did that to introduce you to everybody. You could still remember how you two were holding hands and always together. Those were the days when you have spent so much time with him.
But... Now, it's just always you. Alone. Amongst everyone in the whole place, you are the only one who always arrives with no partner.
"Excuse me?"
You twirl around and find the prettiest girl you think you have ever seen in your life. She looks like a goddess.
"Ahm, yes?" Your voice sounded so weak. You haven't said a word in the last hour.
"You are the only one wearing a corsage with a hint of lilac flowers in it... I'm guessing... you are Yoongi's wife?" She asks
"Ah, yes. I am." You look down at the flower pinned on your chest
She's smiling at you. She looks sort of happy to see you. "Finally... I've met you."
You haven't said a word. You are not sure how to approach this. You have no idea who she is and why is she approaching you. Plus, You are sort of intimidated by her. She is a beautiful, a sophisticated woman. She have this energy from her that says she is different than anyone else. You could feel your difference with her. Though you are covered with all highend brands of clothing and accessories. You can still see it.
"Oh, sorry... if I'm invading your personal time..." she says, "I am a friend of Yoongi... well... an old friend... from University" she explains. "Sarang."
"Oh." You smile and bow. "Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Y/N... I'm sorry... I've not met any of his friends yet so...I didn't know..."
"It's fine. I understand."
She looks like she came from a regal family, the same level as Yoongi. Also, her beauty.... takes your breathe away. She remind you of how you reacted the first time you saw Yoongi. In awe.
"Thank you for coming here also..." she says as she walks you around the gallery. "I hope you find something to your liking here that... would be a part of your home or either a gift to anyone you love."
As you two talk more, you learned that she's the one that threw this charity event. She gathered all these arts from known artists, to auction. She says that 100% of the earnings from it will go to the children's hospital that she have been donating ever since.
You have just met her and you are already at amazed by her. Not by just her prominent looks but also the way she talks and speaks her mind is very inspiring and uplifting. Because of her words you find it easy buying two items in the collection. You know all of the money will go and be used for something good.
You chose the items, the two that caught your attention the moment you entered the gallery. Both are paintings of a beautiful flowerfield which reminds you of your past. The field where you would always go with your friends and have picnic during summer break.
Such beautiful memory that you wish you could've not taken for granted. You wish you could re-live those moments again. And the paintings, those paintings you chose might go well in your own study room.
"It's nice meeting you..." she says, cutting you from reminiscencing your past
"Thank you too for inviting us.. though... my husband couldn't come..."
She smiles, lips pressed together. "He hasn't changed at all. Not very social and just focused on just working..."
Hmm.. The way she talks, the way she describes your husband is very detailed. She seem to know him pretty well. 'They are friends' you say to yourself but then at the back of your mind, a thought, just a tiny thought about him and her, is peaking through.
'Is she an ex of his?'
'If not an ex... probably... someone who liked him?'
I know, this is no place nor time to think about these but you can't help it.
Look at her and then you look at yourself. You two are totally opposites. From status to looks. And probably from personaly to intelligence. She is more than you. She is perfect. You think that he and Yoongi might or will get along more than you and him.
"Ahm... I ahm..." you start to feel uncomfortable with all of your self pity thoughts. You need to get a hold of yourself. "Sorry... I'll... I'll just go to the bar and have some drink..." you say as you clutch on to your dress.
"Oh. Okay." Sarang says. "You want me to accompany you...?"
You shake your head, "No... thank you... don't mind me... please go ahead and tour the rest of the guest." You say pointing at the newly arrived guests.
You turn around immediately before she could response again.
This is weird. You're not sure why you suddenly have the urge to drink. Even though you don't drink. Also because, you can't. Literally, can't.
You only drink red wine when you are offered to drink, by Yoongi of course. It's only when he asks you to join him during nights when he needs company or if you two are to discuss things about the family.
You don't drink also because you are a lightweight. You get tipsy and red easily. One time when you had more than three glasses of red with your husband, you instantly changed personality. You have no idea how and what changed besides the stories that your maid said the day after which were embarassing.
You have no recollection of anything besides the fact that you were on the sofa, inside Yoongi's home office, butt naked and only have Yoongi's blazer on you.
"Mrs. Min, what can I get you?" The cute guy behind the bar asks as you reach your destination.
"How... do you know who I am?"
He smiles, "We had the lists of the guests coming tonight... with photos." He pours water into a glass
"With details...? who can and cannot drink... I suppose?"
He nods. "Your husband noted... to not serve any alcohol to you Miss."
"Even... I want to? Or... pay?"
"I'm sorry Miss..." he says, "If you like we can offer you our non-alcohol champagne?"
You sigh heavily. You badly want to drink. Even just one glass to calm yourself. But...you can't. Yoongi have rules and you cannot avoid and disobey them.
He does give you the freedom to do whatever you want but when it comes to what not to do or what he likes, he have a handful.
1. Don't cut your hair short
2. Don't drink when he's not present nor ordered by him
3. Don't leave the house without atleast one body guard
4. Don't wear perfume (he gets dizzy)
5. Use the safeword during sex
And etc.
The rules are quite simple. Nothing to weird nor to hard to follow. It's just you compromising. And also, you do have a hard time saying no to Him.
"Thanks." You mumble, sighing as you take the glass of water and walk away from the bar.
After figuring out you can't drink to calm yourself, you decide to just go somewhere outside, away from the crowd and peaceful to get fresh air. Lucky you, you found an exit that leads you to the garden.
As time have gone by, you're not sure how long have you been there, staring at the fountain, the flowers and even starring down at your feet every now and then. You thought being out here will leave your head empty. Not worrying about anything. But then you'd catch yourself pouting and comparing yourself to all the ladies you have seen in the event, especially the last person you have talked to.
Your self pity and low self-esteem is thriving today than usual. Is it the lack of sleep? Or because of the one guy from earlier giving you a judging look that made you regret wearing the dress you picked? What happened?
These thoughts are not very helpful. Especially lately, well probably more on daily basis, you do wonder why Yoongi chose you. To marry.
They've said, more particularly his parents said, that he didn't like the ones they suggested for him; so he decided to pick you. To marry you instead of those women who is on the same level as him or close to his family's wealth.
Odd isn't it? Why would someone like him, an elite bachelor, pick a girl from a lower class family to marry? What did he see in you? What made him randomly pick you? You are not special, inexperience about life and not alluring as the other girls in his world. What did he saw? How did he even saw you? You were sure you two never met before. So did he hire someone to find a daughter from a poor family or what?
Instead of clearing your mind, you suddenly had these outburst of questions.
"What are you doing here?"
Your eyes widens after hearing a familiar voice. You didn't dare to speak. You just slowly turn your upper body around to see him, walking slowly towards you.
He's wearing a tuxedo. His hair is slightly slicked back and his scar. His beautiful scar. It's him.
You can't believe what you are seeing. He's really here. Why? He's been away for a week because of work and when did he came back?
"Y-yoongi..." you mumble, standing up
"I asked you..." he says as he stands right in front of you. Then you see his eyes darts down at your glass of water, sitting beside you. "Your bodyguard said... you asked for a drink." He looks back at you, his expression is so serious.
"I ahm... sorry..." you lower your gaze.
"You know... you can't drink."
"I'm sorry..." you whisper softly
"Let her have fun." A woman's voice says. "She just wants to have a glass of wine. It won't hurt."
Slowly raising your eyes, you see her, Sarang, standing from afar from you and Yoongi.
Her stance at this moment is unidentical to her persona earlier. It feels like she is a completely different person, though her appearance is the same. Something shifted.
"She did an amazing job.. representing you earlier." She adds
Your eyes then goes to Yoongi. You want to see his reaction to the angelic woman speaking. You are curious. No one talks to him directly like that, blunt and straight forward, even you.
Sarang is brave to talk casually to him.
"Ready the car..." Yoongi finally speaks after a monent of silence. Ordering one of his men to move.
That was it?
"I'll return the items. Keep the money. I don't care." He says while he's looking at you, straight into your eyes. Though you know, even his eyes are on you, he's not actually speaking to you.
"Yoongi le---" she tries to speak again but he didn't allowed it.
Yoongi just slightly turned his head to give her a side eye. He is not pleased. "My wife and I are leaving..." and then takes your hand to hold onto. "Let's go home..." he says that only you can hear.
"Ahm...ahh... okay." You say, lost by the sudden fierceness from him
***
"Get in." He orders you
Carefully climbing in the car, you move to the other side making sure there is a space betweem you two.
"Home please." Yoongi says to his driver as he shuts the door.
"Sir." The man answers, nodding and then pushes a button that closes the opening between the driver to the passenger seat of the car.
We are now isolated.
He looks so tired. Looks like he just came back and went straight to event to pick you up.
"I have my driver with me... you could've rested at home." You say
He sighs and closes his eyes. "I'm fine."
Did he purposely pick you up because he wants to see you? Did he missed you while he was away for a week?
Your mind is filled with questions and curiosity but you cannot dream of these questions to be real. You have to remember, he just married you because he have no other choice. There is no love in between you two. You are married by paper only that is worth a lot of money. Everything you are doing for him is to repay all of his kindness to you and your family.
This is all just a fantasy. A beautiful fantasy.
"Come closer..." he softly says. His eyes are still shut but his arm is arching, gesturing for me to take place in then. "Y/n..." he opens his eyes, calling my name. You scoot over his side. He immediately puts his arm around you, making sure you are close. "You're shaking..." he utters as he goes back to closing his eyes, resting his head back. "You're almost naked with that dress of yours..."
"Sorry..." you say looking down at your knotted fingers. "I thought it will look good....that's why I wore it."
He sighs. "You do look good..." then he shifts in his position and makes sure you're looking back at him. Then he starts leans in, to kiss you.
"Wait..."
He pauses, confused by your reaction. You have never denied his kiss before.
"I'm sorry..."
"What for?" He asks
"Well..." you look to the front, where the driver is. "Do we just kiss or..." you whisper
Yoongi didn't expect your question which made him smile. "It depends." He is looking straight into your eyes, your face are just inches away.
"He might hear us..." you whisper
"I don't fucking care." He moves forward and finally catches your lips.
***
After travelling for almost half an hour, you finally reach home.
"Welcome home, Miss..." The maid greets the second you slide out of the car. she then sees Yoongi, coming out from the other side of the car. "Master!" She bows again. "Welcome..."
They are suprised to see him. They didn't expect him to arrive with you. Looks like none of them knew he went to pick you up.
"Do we have anything to eat?" You softly ask the maid, then you realized that it's already late and that they have to rest too. "Oh... Sorry... never mind... you may go and rest." You give her a faint smile.
Then slowly walking towards the elevator, you could see your husband's reflection through the glass doors. He is busy already with his phone.
"Y/n..."
You glance up, peaking through the reflection. He is walking towards you. So you wirl around and waited for him to stand in front of you.
"Ask your assistant to remove all charities or event under the Lee's tomorrow. Even parties." He says as he undo his bow tie. "And... to not accept any invitation from them...again"
"Why?"
He didn't answer. No answer means he's serious.
"Okay..." You just answer before turning your back at him again.
Thinking about what you are in his world is heart breaking in a way. You are nothing but someone he owns. You just go with the flow of his world.
Yes you do had an idea what you've signed up for but its still shocking nonetheless how everything is unfolding and is doing.
"Aren't you getting in?"
You look up and see that he is in the elevator already, waiting.
"S-sorry..." you say before entering. You try your best to not make eye contact with him.
After both of you settled in, the maid follows and taps on level 3. That is where both your rooms are.
Oddly, Yoongi taps on the Upper ground after her. "Can you please cook something light before you leave? My wife needs to eat." He orders
"Yes, Master." She answers just in time when the elevator stops on UG.
"We'll both be down after we shower and get rested a bit."
"Understood, Master." She exists the elevator, bows and immediately walks off.
'My wife'. It is the second time he said that today. He never says that.
"Don't skip meals." He mumbles as the door closes
You didn't answer. You didn't mean to skip a meal or two today. And maybe a few days before too. You were nervous. One main reason is the dress you're wearing right now is very revealing. A satin black backless maxi dress. You wanted be perfect in the dress thats why, even though you know it's not achievable.
*pings*
The elevator door opens on level 3. You step out and about to turn to your wing when you hear him call your name again.
"Where are you going?" He asks
"T-to my room..." you sound so weak, "To shower..."
"Shower here." He says, suggesting the shower in his wing. Meaning in his room. Meaning his bathroom.
"Hmm?" You are lost in translation. Why is he asking you to shower there all of a sudden.
"To my room." And then he undo the first two buttons of his shirt.
"W-what? Why?"
He didn't say another word. He just continued to walk off towards his room leaving you.
"W-wait..." You take two steps forward but then stops.
"Y/N...." you hear the heels of his shoes stop hitting the marbled floor. His back is facing you. "I said, shower here. I didn't ask you to decide." he then turns around and you see his white top basically open now. "Will you go and shower with me or do you want me to peel that dress off you and carry you to my room?"
Flusttered by his remark, you just released an unsolicited shaky breathing. "Ahm... yes... I'm... I'm coming..."
***
[Flashback to Yoongi's side]
(Earlier... as soon as Yoongi arrived at the charity event)
Some of the people in the event went silent for a few seconds the moment they saw you enter the building. They all didn't expect you to show up since your wife was already present. But of course, they still greeted you with a smile and tried to make small talks. They want to be on your good side. They know what you are capable off. What power you hold in this world.
However, you don't care about these fuckers. You dropped by because you received a call from your wife's bodyguard that Y/N is not looking okay.
"Where is she?" You ask the man standing behind you.
"She just left the bar, Sir. And went out to the garden." He reply.
"I see."
One step, you just took one step and somebody already stands in your way to your wife.
"Look who's here."
"Sarang." You say her name, bitterly. You are not expecting her to be here.
"You have been ignoring my invites for quite some time now... I thought, helping others is one of your goals in life that's why you work 24/7?"
"I thought this event was by the Lee's?" You hiss at your male assistant.
"It is, Sir. By--"
"Lee Do-Hyun..." she cuts off the assistant. "My husband..." she proudly says. "Aww.. That kind a... hurts my feelings...that... you have no idea I got married..."
"I don't keep tab on people who's not important to me."
She scoffs but she sounded a bit insulted and her ego got hurt. But she's good at pretending that it didn't bothered her. "You say that now...but a few years ago... I was your muse..." she tries to move closer to you but your body guards stands in between quickly.
"Was." You look away from her and try to search for your wife through the window not far away from where you stand. "My mistake for socializing to a liar, back stabbing... leech like you." You say, then giving her a side eye. "I wish your husband good fortune... or that he loves spoiling you... or esle... he'll found out his wife's true color..."
You're about to walk away, again, but this bitch still wants to talk to you.
"You think... she'll not get tired of you? Of you controlling her? Especially getting married with you... with no love at all?" She snorts a laugh again. "Or maybe... she will not..." she mumbles under her breathe, "Now... It figures... why you picked someone from a low class family... someone with no choice but to stay with you because her family needs your money. I see..." she laughs again, "poor girl... if I were her, I would milk you all of your money so it will be worth it... after all she married a controlling, dominant, and a freaky person like you."
You know Y/N is not like her. She is a nice person. She's not into money like this bitch is. However, you do think about how Y/N thinks about you and her marriage to you.
You admit that you are very controlling when it comes to her. It is one of your negative trait that you cannot put away. It comes natural with you because of the life you have been brought up and your business. You want things to happen in your way and you are also possessive. You do try to controll it when it comes to her but you are not sure if you are doing it right.
Well how could you know, you never talk about it. Even with your wife. You never asked about her feelings and opinions.
"Watch your mouth." You mumble. "You might think you know me from the years we've been together. But you haven't seen half of what I can and would do... if anyone picks a fight with me.." you glare at her. "Consider this a warning."
[End of flashback from Yoongi's side]
*************
"Miss..."
Slowly opening your eyes, your eyes carefully adjusted to the light. You could see the ray of sunshine peaking through your dark thick curtains.
"Miss..."
You turn your head to the side and see your maid bowing.
"It's noon Miss..."
"Oh."
It has been a quite a few days now, since you start waking up this late. You are usually up early. You are a morning person. You also do jogs or walks around the property and sometimes go to the home gym to move, always. But something shifted in your routines.
You are tired, less motivated and no will to get up your bed.
"I think we need to call the family doctor now, Miss." The maid suggested. "You've lost a bit of weight and you look pale."
"I'm fine." You say as you push your duvet off your body and slide down off your bed. "I'll take a quick bath..." you mumble
"Understood." She is ready to come along with you.
"No... I'm fine... I'll just go alone... just prepare food for me please."
"But... Miss..." she usually prepares your bath and always stays with you there. After the little accident you had a year ago when you first experience a hot bath on the tub. You fainted because you fell asleep. Too much enjoyment and you forgot it is not good to stay long in there.
"I'll be fine." You smile and requested for her to leave
"Okay Miss... but... I will be back after half an hour to check."
"Sure."
You slept last night, wearing your silk robe and your fancy cream nightgown, his favorite. You were expecting Yoongi to come home last night as per usual schedule. But he didn't. He didn't even informed the staff that he'll not be home for a longer period.
What happened? You don't know.
The last time you talked to him was the night he asked you to come to his room and shower with him.
Everything that night was magical. For you atleast. But then you ruined it.
When you both entered his dark room, he immediately clung onto you. He held you like everything depends on it. It was more intemate and hungry than the usual and you liked it for some reason. After all the self doubt and insecurity you felt in the party, the intemacy made you feel more than what you feel.
And when he peeled off your dress from your body, you didn't expected him to go down on his knees and lick your soul out of your body. His tongue did more than you know he could do. It brought you to another level of high. And you didn't know you could screech like an animal because of it. He really made sure you are on cloud nine or even beyond that.
"Fuck me... please..." you begged him after you knees weakened and fall down the floor where he is.
"No." He said. He was sturn. "No request for tonight." He said and then he positioned you underneath him where he could properly see you crumble because of him.
"Y-yoongi... please.... I need... I want to come..." you begged
He brought you to cloud nine but then hold onto your pearls when you were about to orgasm.
"I'm punishing you right now..." he said as he lowers down and starts to run his tongue from your chest up. "Next time... don't wear any sort of revealing clothes...when I'm not around.. do you understand that Y/N?"
"Y-yes..."
"Another rule to add... are you okay with that?" He hummed the last words on your ears before he let both his hands squeeze your breast. "Answer me..."
"I don't... mind..." you were squearming underneath him. He was playing your nipples then. "I... I don't mind... Yoongi..." you repeated, pleading.
His punishment continued for another few minutes. It was too much. You were struggling catching your bliss but he's playing you. However, you are patient. You know his kinks and you know what he wants and so you do whatever and accept whatever. Coz you know it is from him.
"Scream my name." He grunted as he pounds you with no mercy.
You were holding on to his massive bookshelf on the wall, your legs were lifted and hanging over his forearm whilst he was thrusting deep in you. You were getting hurt from your back hitting the shelves but it didn't matter. You don't know why but for some reason you can endure everything just for Yoongi. Even pain.
"Nnggghhaaa..." you threw your arms around his neck as he went faster. "Please!" You cry on his neck. "Aaaahhh!!" You screamed the orgasm you have been keeping for a while. You felt relieved and content.
And as you two were catching your breath. You uttered words that surprised the both of you. You said 'I love you' to Yoongi.
It should not be a surprise. You two are married right. However since yours are different from others, those words were never said or mentioned ever after the wedding. It is like a forebidden phrase though there are no rule about it. It's like an unspoken deal that no one says those words since THIS.. YOU TWO... is just a fantasy. You two got together with no love. It is not real. You are just one of his property.
And so, after that night. That magical night for you ended up into this cold, quiet and empty prison. Again. You are back to nothing.
You thought you are on a journey escaping that confinement. You thought that something is going to change. You thought... that you were wrong about him. But who are you kidding? You were just having sex like you used to. It is nothing special. It is the same crap. So you saying you love him is... worthless.
"Did I even mean it?" You ask yourself as you lay down in your hot bath. "I said it... after sex.." you are trying to understand how those words slipped out of your lips. If it all just happened because of such high from the sex.
You can clearly remember how you said it. You paused, looked into his eyes and carefully said it. You know you said it with the intent for him to hear it but when you saw his reaction. It made you realize what a big mistake it was.
"Am I having feelings for him?" You mumble as you lower yourself more into the water. "I should not right?"
You know the answer to your own quesion. Look at him even ignoring you for almost two weeks now. Who are you even kidding thinking it will have an effect on him?
After the 'I love you' incident, He eat dinners without you or he let you eat first before he comes out of his home office. And then when he leaves, he does not inform you now. You just get the news of him flying off somewhere from your maid. Even his men are being cautious with you. He must've ordered them to be distant but at the same time protect you.
How funny that these are his responses to you. You know you deserve it but you're a little bit hurt, your not going to lie.
"Who am I for him to love?" You sigh. "Maybe... I should just prepare myself for the ending of this fantasy..."
*********
"Master." The maids bows as they suddenly sees Yoongi enter the main entrance while they are all cleaning.
Yoongi have not been home for a while. He has been... busy.
"Give them all my clothes." He says to his right hand man. "Sorry if it's quite a lot today." He then says to the maids as he removes his black coat revealing his white button up shirt, stained with blood. A lot of it. No one reacted to the visual that is shown. All the staff are used to it. They know how his world is.
"Where is she?" He asks as he loosen up his tie
All the maids in the corredor suddenly turn heads to the youngest one at the end of the line. She is Y/N personal maid.
"Master." She steps forwards and bows again. "Miss is in her bath."
Yoongi frowns. "Alone?"
"Ahm..." she suddenly stutters. "Sorry, Master! She... Miss wanted to... alone... but I told her after half an hour I will go back."
"How long has she been there?" He then throws his tie on the ground.
"Twenty."
"Okay." He takes a deep breathe and tries to collect himself. "Just go and be on standby in her room. She can't stay any longer."
"Okay, Master." She bows again and briskfully walk back to Y/N wing.
"Are you not going to... visit her Sir?" His male right hand asks. "She have been messaging you since..." he pauses for a bit. "And calling too."
He didn't answer. "Ready my bath please." He orders and just continue walking his way to his room.
"Understood." The man replies
"She can't see me like this." Yoongi mumbles as he walks
"I see..." his right hand man smiles at his master's response.
"Why are you smiling?" Yoongi asks, one eyebrow up.
"Nothing, Sir."
"Just spit it out."
The right man, Mr. Kim have been Yoongi's right hand man ever since he was in his teens. Mr. Kim saw him grew up and be the man that he is now. And for sure, if something changed he would be the first one to notice
And now, the tiny changes in Yoongi's mood and decisions, He might not know or see it but it is obvious for Mr. Kim. He knows it is something about his wife.
"2nd week of your marriage, Sir. She saw you coming home with a bloody lip and injured knuckles. You said you don't give a damn if she sees you looking like a murderer."
"So? What's your point?"
"It's just lately...."
Yoongi pauses and turns around to see Mr. Kim, wearing a smile.
"What are you implying? Just... say it."
Mr. Kim bows and says, "Nothing Sir."
"Hmmm..." rolling his eyes, he continued to walk.
*****
"Miss..." your personal maid rushes in your room, "Master have return." She says.
To her suprise, she sees you standing in the middle of the room, wearing your bathrobe and a towel in your hair already.
You take a deep breathe, not letting your eyes look away from the view you are seeing from your window, a clear blue sky.
"Miss.. shall I prepare your clothes?"
You close your eyes and then removed the towel wrapped around your long hair. "Please..." you softly answer
"What do you prefer to wear today, Miss?" She asks she she begins to walk towards your walk in closet.
"A black dress..." you say as you follow along. "Maybe the one with the longer sleeves."
She nods and then continues to search for the dresses you have that matches your description while you on the other hand looks at yourself in the full length mirror while you undress from your robe.
You stare at your body and see how you thin you are. Not super thin but thinner than what you used to.
It's your own fault. You have been skipping meals when you are stressed and it's not good.
"Miss?" She then lays three dresses on the sofa in the middle, for your choices.
"The middle one." You says.
You then open the drawer for your undies to grab a black lace matching underwear.
"Ahm, Miss...?"
"Yes?"
"Are you going to eat with Master, in the dinning today?"
"Hmm... what did he say?"
"Nothing. He just asked me to stay with you when I told him you are in your bath."
"Did he say if he wants to see me?"
The maid didn't answer.
"I guess not." You scoff as you getting into the dress. "Just bring my food in my study room. I'll eat there while I do some reading."
"Understood." She bows and exists the room.
"I'm not gonna wait for him anymore." You say to yourself while looking onto the mirror. "If he's going to avoid me or ignore me... then... that's what I'll do as well..."
Starring once again at yourself on the mirror, you look at your face and then your eyes goes down to your belly.
"I have to learn to go on with my life... with or without him..." you mumble. "I should start to escape this fantasy... a dream that maybe the 'us' will be something."
Part 3 - Twilight
#yuyu1024#yoongi fanfic#yoongi smut#bts yoongi#min yoongi#bts x reader#bts smut#bts fanfic#bts imagines#yoongi x reader#yoongi angst#suga fanfic#kpop imagines#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#kpop angst#mafia au#bts x y/n#bts x fem!reader#bts x you#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x you#yoongi x fem reader
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•B A C K S T A G E•
pairing: hyunjin x f!reader
genre: smut (mdni‼️)
desc: after not seeing you for months due to touring, hyunjin finally gets to have his way with you when you show up to the final show in seoul.
content: established relationship, oral sex (m receiving), unprotected piv (pls be safe), dirty talking, pet names, risky public sex, idk I think that’s it ?
auth. note: requested by my friend ;) enjoy !
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Hyunjin was frustrated.
Sexually frustrated.
It was his first tour since you two started dating, so he knew it would be difficult, but he wasn’t prepared for how much he craved your presence. Hyunjin has always been an introvert, always comfortable being in his own presence. However, since being away from you, he has been nothing but a lonely mess.
He’s never really had anything to miss so much before. Sure, he has his family, and he does miss them, but it’s just different. He has Kkami, but Kkami doesn’t miss him back so it’s pretty one sided.
He doesn’t really have many close friends outside of the band members and staff. Not because he doesn’t want to, but it just never really happened. Since debuting, he never really went out of his way to go meet new people. He doesn’t really trust many people, anyways.
But then he met you.
It was painfully organic, like something out of those romance films he spent way too many hours watching. He had some time off due to some minor injuries he sustained in a car accident. The company made him stay home so he could rest.
But Hyunjin didn’t want to rest. He wanted to spend this time doing something he enjoyed. So he painted a few pieces, caught up on his favorite dramas, and even learned how to make his own iced americanos from home.
That fateful evening, he chose to spend his day at an art museum. he was touring the exhibits, admiring the artwork, when he heard a subtle gasp next to him. Turning his head in your direction, he saw you standing there, mouth agape, staring at the painting ahead of you.
He saw your eyes quickly fill with tears as you raised your phone up to take a phone of the painting. He debated interrupting your moment as you were clearly emotionally affected by this piece, but he was also painfully curious as to the story behind your reaction.
So he did something so out of character; he started a conversation with you.
You explained to him the reason behind your connection to that piece, and the two of you ended up touring the rest of the exhibit afterwards. He would have felt uneasy, fearing you were a stalker trying to get his attention, but he quickly learned that you had just moved to Korea for your job, which solidified the safe feeling he felt around you.
And he’s felt that same safeness ever since.
You two have been officially together now for 8 months, and maybe it’s just the honeymoon phase, but Hyunjin isn’t a believer in that. He believes when you’re in love, you stay in love forever. Which is why he’s certain he will never grow tired of you.
What he is tired of, in this particular moment, is how needy he feels all the time.
It isn’t something he’s used to. Hyunjin has gotten used to being alone for years, taking care of himself when he’s horny, not having anyone’s face in mind when he touches himself, just fully focused on his pleasure.
But that isn’t the case anymore. The only thing that gets him worked up is the thought of you. He can’t cum unless he imagines your face. He feels so empty afterwards without you to snuggle with. He craves you every second.
And this second is no different.
Hyunjin is currently performing the last show in Seoul. He knew you’d be here tonight, you always come to the shows they play in Korea. He was so excited to see you again, it had been too long since he last held you.
However, that was the last thing on his mind right now as he looked at you in the front row of the crowd. You smiled up at him and sent him a heart. He has to resist the urge to send one back to you, too afraid of exposing your relationship. But he just couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. You wore his favorite top, the one that hugs your cute tits so well, as well as that cute skirt he likes to fuck you in. Oh, you definitely knew what you were doing.
And Hyunjin would give you exactly what you were asking for.
~
“What the fuck were you thinking?”
You’re currently pinned against a dressing room wall with your hands pinned behind your back, exactly how you planned it.
When all you did was moan in response, Hyunjin slapped your ass and brought his lips to your ear, whispering, “oh, you wanna be quiet now? wanna act like you didn’t wear this just to get me riled up?” He roughly grabs your top and pulls it off of you before one hand starts grabbing at your tits. “Well you’re gonna get exactly what you asked for.” He doesn’t bother taking your skirt off, just lifts it up to find you wearing those crotchless panties he loves so much.
The sound he let out was almost animalistic, his fingers immediately plunging into your hole that was already so wet for him. You moaned loudly, not caring who could hear, as you tried to wiggle one of your hands out of the grip he had on your wrist. He complied, letting you free so you could raise a hand up and run it through his hair. Hyunjin was a sucker for scalp messages, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensation while he continued to finger you.
“Missed you so much baby…”he says in between kisses to your neck. “Did you miss me too?” You nodded fervently, trying to fuck yourself back into his fingers while your lips searched for his. The two of you made out sloppily for a while before he pulled away and removed his fingers
You wiggled your hips desperately which made him giggle. You smiled. Even when he was trying to be hard and dominate, his sweet personality always came through. Your sweet boy was always there.
“Gonna let everyone hear how much you missed me angel?” Without time to answer, he thrusted his cock inside you all in one go. Your hands gripped the walls as you tried with every ounce of strength you had to keep quiet, letting out breathy moans here and there.
Hyunjin, however, was proudly letting everyone hear how much he missed his baby, letting out the most ethereal moans and grunts the human ear could ever hear. He set a perfect pace, angling his hips upward to hit your spot perfectly.
You couldn’t take it anymore, writhing and whining as he fucked you so perfectly, hitting your spot with precision and strength. You moaned out his name, trying to warn him you were close. He put his mouth right up to your ear, whispering. “Yeah? Gonna make a mess for the staff to clean up? Gonna let everyone know what we did in here? So filthy…” he spat, making you clench impossible tight on his length, making his rhythm falter from pleasure.
With one last long, drawn out whine of his name, you came all over his length, your cum dripping down his balls and on to the floor. He hissed at the sight and sensation, working you through your orgasm before pulling out.
“Knees, now.” He snapped his fingers towards the ground, which you were immediately knelt on. He brought his tip to your mouth. “Suck.” You obeyed, sucking his mushroom tip while he stroked the rest of his length in his hand. “Fucking cumming…fuck..fuuuuuuck.” With a deep, drawn out groan of profanities, he shot his thick warm load into your mouth, which you happily took all of before swallowing.
He brought a hand to your cheek and held your face while looking down at you with hooded eyes and staggered breaths. “So good…I love you so fucking much. Come here.” He pulled you up and immediately brought you in for a sweet kiss, moaning at the taste of both of your arousals.
After getting cleaned up and dressed, you both stepped out of the dressing room, hair and absolute wreck and faces flushed from your post orgasm glow. It was obvious to everyone what you two just did, and quite frankly, you were too spent to care.
Walking down the hall, you passed by Lee Know, who gave you both a clearly sarcastic smile, saying “Hey! Try being louder next time!” Before switching to a blank expression and walking past you. Hyunjin chuckled, before turning to you with a tired, sweet smile.
“So..dinner?”
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🖤💋
#hwang hyujin imagines#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin smut#hyunjinsmut#skz smut#stray kids smut#hyunjins#skzsmut#kpop smut#kpop#established relationship
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Could you maybe do some head canons for like goth or alternative!reader x mike? Maybe he was intimidated when he first saw her or like Abby really likes the way she dresses and wants to borrow accessories from her and stuff? Idk this idea popped in my head you are such a good writer! 😺
yes! i’m not goth but i looked up some outfits and makeup and stuff. i know the media waters down goth style, but i hope this is what you had in mind!! this is also kind of all over the place sorry 😅
includes / warnings - reader fem, has piercings :D. hc format. after freddy’s.
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first time mike sees you hearts shoot out his eyes like he’s in a cartoon
“what’re you staring at?” abby asks.
“uh,” mike trails off, not being able to answer as he literally locked on you. it’s when you glance over at him when his face get all red and he looks away and goes back to grocery shopping.
abby walks up to you after seeing mike’s interest and starts a conversation with you
mike tries to steer her away, but he can’t get to her before she says:
“my brother thinks you’re pretty.”
lmao if mike didn’t want to die before this, he definitely wanted to now
“oh, he does?” you grin at him.
mike visibly gulps. but he’s glad he’s closer to you and he can really see how hot you are lmao
“yeah,” he nods. “i-i really like your piercing,” he points to his own eyebrow where you have a piercing on your face.
“thank you. it’s new, actually.”
although mike was a little worried about abby running off to talk to you, in the end it was a good thing 😸
mike loves watching you do your makeup. he’ll sit there for hours staring at you for hours if he could
he loves watching your skilled hands paint eyeliner over your eyes. he likes watching you mix lipstick shades together to create the perfect shade you lay desire that day
“don’t you have to go to work?” you ask.
“i can be late if that means i get to stare at your pretty face.”
also, he’s just so impressed with how talented you are at doing makeup and will literally tell you how artistic you are just bc you know how to make a straight wing
mike loves the chunky heels and boots you wear. he likes when you tower over him 😼
not to mention, when the boots go up your thigh he lowk gets all hot and bothered by it lol
he also loves buying you new accessories to put in your piercings. the first holiday you spent together, he bought you a shit tone of necklaces and new pieces to put in your septum
mike loves taking you out. not only bc he loves showing you off in general. in his head he’s definitely walking around like “yeah i know i bagged the most beautiful woman in the world. all you other guys suck.”
but in all seriousness, he loves the dresses you put on. he always says you look like a vampire princess, and he’s not entirely wrong
the dresses you have are fabulous omg. there’s one where it all connects form a choker-like strap around your neck and has straps connecting to the sweetheart neckline of the dress (soz if this doesn’t make any sense lmfao). the dress is textured on the skirt and stops a little bit above your knees. and fuck if mike doesn’t just want to rip it off of you after also wanting to stare at you in it for all of eternity.
you also have this sleek, black, satin dress that has like a straight neckline and long sleeves and goes down to your feet.
everytime mike sees you wearing that he mouths literally waters
now, just to go back to the fact that he is super intimated when first dating you
he was so afraid he was going to be too boring for you or basic. and also just not the type guy you were looking for
but just to his luck, you think he is perfect for you
omg but in the first month or two do you two dating, i just imagine him finding out what music you like and trying to learn every word of every song to siouxsie and the banshees, specimen, sisters of mercy
it definitely does impress you and you think it’s so sweet
for your bday he definitely tries to take you to any concert he can get tickets to
now on the subject of abby, she is definitely obsessed with you
she’s always asking you to do her makeup for school, and you happily oblige!
mike always looking out for abby in his own way, so he was worried if she went to school caked with eyeliner, she would face some backlash, but he knows how happy it makes her — and you — to play with makeup
abby’s always asking mike she can get a tattoo and piercings
“abby, you just turned 11. you won’t be able to drive anytime soon, so no tattoos anytime soon.”
she’s always trying to have you convince him, but unfortunately you have to agree with mike
buuuuttt you do paint and draw designs on abby sometimes and she acts like their tattoos and that’s close enough for her until she’s older
you also buy her face piercings that hook on her nose and lip
mike does let her get her ears pierced once she promises she can handle the little needle poke and she proceeds to try and steal all your earrings lmao
luckily, you buy her copy cats of them so she can have her own
other random things:
mike definitely lets you paints his nails. this is not at all that crazy of an idea, but, it’s smth new he’s never done but he loves watching you get so excited. you can even practice nail art on him too
you have a couple of tattoos, specifically one that goes around the side of your thigh and it just makes him fall to his knees!!
Halloween you guys dress up as the Addams family !!!
so fitting cuz you’re a hot, powerful woman and mike’s like gomez: unwaveringly obsessed with you. and of course abby is wednesday hehe
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taglist
@celestbarnes
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Since I spent like an hour on friday going through my copy of iwtv (1977 first Ballantine Books Edition) so here's where every episode title is said in the book.
possible spoilers for the show; definitely spoilers for the nearly 50 year old book.
S1E1 "In throes of increasing wonder" page 13, Louis only every directly says the words "increasing wonder" ("From then on I experienced only increasing wonder") about his first meeting with Lestat
S1E2 "...after the phantoms of your former self" page 81-82, said by Lestat ("You are in love with your mortal nature! You chase after the phantoms of your former self!") when they're having one of their many arguments about Louis' feelings about killing, right before they turn Claudia
S1E3 "Is my very nature that of a devil?" page 73, after Louis and Lestat are driven off of Louis' plantation & are rejected by a mortal woman Louis likes & thought would protect them
S1E4 "...the ruthless pursuit of blood with all a child's demanding" page 98, said by Louis about Claudia (in narration) ("She was simply unlike Lestat and me to such an extent I couldn't comprehend her; for little child she was, but also fierce killer now capable of the ruthless pursuit of blood with all a child's demanding)
S1E5 "a vile hunger for your hammering heart' page 116, Louis to Claudia, telling her the story of how she was turned ("I felt for you again, a vile unsupportable hunger for your hammering heart, this cheek, this skin.") While S2E7 gives us more context on how Claudia was turned, in the book it was very different-- Louis just straight up saw her and couldn't resist nearly killing her, & a few days later Lestat decides to turn her to save their marriage
S1E6 "Like angels put in Hell by God" page 148-- Louis says this to a priest in confessional after Lestat 'dies'. ("I am not mortal, father, but immortal and damned, like angels put in hell by God.")
S1E7 "The thing lay still" page 138, Louis' description of Lestat's dead (ish) body
S2E1 "What can the damned really say to the damned?" page 168, Louis contemplating what he might find in Eastern Europe as he and Claudia sail to Europe.
S2E2 "Do you know what it means to be loved by death?" page 224, said by Santiago in basically the exact same context, although the play is different.
S2E3 "No pain" page 225, said by Armand, who is onstage & is the one who kills the woman in the first performance we see at Theatre des Vampires
S2E4 "I want you more than anything in the world" page 284, said by Armand to Louis when they're on a little date in this abandoned tower Armand likes to hang out in, notably after Louis turns Madeline without approaching Armand about it; I believe he also repeats it twice same as the show
S2E5 "Don't be afraid. just start the tape" page 3; said by Louis to Daniel basically the same way it happens in the show.
S2E6 "Like the light by which God made the world before He made light" page 142, something Louis says while contemplating his existence directly after Lestat 'dies'. ("I had now lived in two centuries, seen the illusions of one utterly shattered by the other, been eternally young and eternally ancient, possessing no illusions, living moment to moment in a way that made me picture a silver clock ticking in a void: the painted face, the delicately carved hands looked upon by no one, looking out at no one, illuminated by a light which was not a light, like the light by which God made the world before he Had made light.") (jesus, anne. i thought i wrote horribly long sentences)
S2E7 "I could not prevent it" page 307, said by Armand, also repeated twice like he does in the show, although this is said as he's saving Louis rather than in the present day interview
S2E8 "And that's the end of it. There's nothing else" page 341; idk if this is the actual episode title, but it's what wikipedia is telling me and it makes sense enough. The last thing Louis tells to Daniel before ending the story
under the cut-- other lines i remember from the show that i underlined while reading the book; please add on if you have any more or correct anything i got wrong
(also this is all just my memory while reading the book, so it's messy and imperfect) (all of the book quotes should be correct, but forgive me if i cannot remember the lines from the show exactly and don't bother to search for them)
interview begins with "You weren't always a vampire, were you?" and then "There's a simple answer to that. I don't believe I want to give simple answers. I think I want to tell the real story." page 4
Daniel says "ah, that's the accent" and notes that there's a "slight sharpness to the vowels" also page 4
the monologue louis has about becoming a vampire "A dull roar at first and then a pounding like the pounding of a drum" to "i realized that drum was my heart" page 19
various things louis says about lestat in the first interview. i can't remember the exact lines in the episode but i think i remember "I was his complete superior and I had been sadly cheated in having him for a teacher" from page 31 and "he appeared frail and stupid to me, a man made of dried twigs with a thin, carping voice" on page 34
"The blood poured out of him, down his shirt front, down his coat. It poured as it might never pour from a mortal man, all the blood which he had filled from before the child and from the child..." page 137, describing Lestat dying
After they first attempt to kill Lestat, Louis also says the words "beginning the great adventure of our lives" page 142
page 216, when Armand and Louis meet, Armand does say "I will not harm you", and the note on his buisness card says "Bring the petit beauty with you. You are most welcome, Armand."
page 244, parts of the shpiel about concious & unconcious death from the first theatre performance
page 339, Armand says "She never loved you, you know. Not in the way that I loved you, and the way that you loved us both." after which he leaves Louis, something he hasn't managed to do in the show yet, though, to be fair, in the show after he said this Louis immediately ran into the sun
page 343, "This... after all I've told you... is what you ask for? " and "You don't know what human life is like! You've forgotten. You don't even understand the meaning of your own story...", though in the show they change this line a bit to make it sound more natural for a high 20 year old in San Francisco in 1973
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Stardust
" Taehyung, who is gazing at the endless galaxies in Jungkook’s deep brown eyes, answers him in whispers. “I love the stars as well.” Jungkook, unaware that Taehyung didn’t speak of nature's stars but those of his, looks up at Taehyung."
Pairing: Vampire!Jungkook x Vampire!Taehyung
Genre: established relationship!AU, polyamory!AU, Slice of Life Fluff
Warnings: Tae tries so hard and it's reciprocated!, they're actually so in love :(, idk man this entire polycule just hits so hard whenever i write for them, a cute date, and Tae being an excited bean, and Kook being a cutie, goodness this is so cute and romantic :(
Wordcount: 2.7k
a/n: i cry into my pillow each night. i love this family so much :(
Taehyung and the others have returned from The Plains two days ago. Life at the estate didn’t change during the days they spent far away in the other realm. The plants still grew, the rooms were still homely and the sun still felt the same on the skin. Jimin was already at home again after going on a trip with Hoseok where they visited Seokjin and Emma in Gordes. The entire family had dinner together on the first night reunited. Conversation was amazing and laughter was great.
But this story is neither about the wonderful dinner nor the reunion. This story is about Taehyung and his unbearable desire to see Jungkook.
It has been five hours since he last saw him in the home gym and Taehyung is going mad without him. Such intense feelings are still unbelievably unfamiliar to him. Truly, Taehyung isn’t used to being so needy for a person. Not in a sexual way, but an emotional way. All Taehyung craves is to hear Jungkook’s laugh, to experience his scent, to gaze at his face and feel his hug. He also craves every story Jungkook could possibly tell and needs every single word this man could ever utter. Oh, he craves this man so very much.
The door to Jungkook’s wing is unlocked and Taehyung sees it as his consent to go in. He takes off his shoes by the door, using the audible cues as his guidance. He has music playing and judging by the pungent scent of paint in the air, he is repainting walls.
It was very easy to return to his real self after coming home from The Plains. Being human was fun and a new experience, but Taehyung must admit that he prefers to be a vampire. He enjoys his heightened senses and how invincible his body is again. The only thing he misses is his pulse and how real his body warmth felt. It was so utterly exciting to feel both of these things rise whenever Taehyung found himself close to Jungkook.
Speaking of Jungkook, Taehyung finds him in his living room. Well, his living room to be. Jungkook is still in the midst of renovating the room. Taehyung knocks on the opened door. He was incorrect about the walls. Jungkook is actually painting the ceiling. He chose a dark blue to contrast with the white walls.
Jungkook lowers the paint roller, studying Taehyung.
“Hello”, Taehyung says, waving his hand shyly.
“Hey there.”
“The, uhm, the ceiling is already looking very good.”
“Yeah, right? It’s coming along nicely. I’m really liking the colour.”
“Yes, it is a very beautiful colour.”
“At first I was worried that it would be too dark, but I like it now.”
“Indeed, it fits the room very well.”
Jungkook sinks the roller into new paint and spreads it on the ceiling. He thinks that Taehyung merely came here to chat, unaware that the vampire wants to ask him for a date. Taehyung doesn’t take it to heart, watching the younger vampire with a fluttering stomach. Now that he is in front of him, Taehyung forgot every single word he ever learned.
Jungkook manages to cover quite a lot before Taehyung finally feels courageous enough to ask.
“Jungkook, may I ask you something?”
“Hm? Yeah, sure. What’s up?” Jungkook says, placing the roller aside and climbing off the ladder to hurry to Taehyung.
“You, uhm, you have paint on your face.”
“I do? Crap.” Jungkook wipes his face blindly. “It’s the position. It’s getting everywhere.”
Taehyung takes the cloth from Jungkook’s overalls and licks a corner of it to wipe his face with it.
“May I?”
“Yeah.”
Jungkook lets him with bated breath, eyes racing over his features. He misses how much his heart raced in The Plains. Now it stays still eventhough Jungkook doesn’t feel calm. He feels giddy. Really, really giddy. Like a person who can’t believe that their crush likes them back.
“There. Now you are clean”, Taehyung finishes the job, stuffing the cloth back into Jungkook’s pocket.
“Thank you, chèri.”
Their eyes meet briefly. Jungkook grins. Taehyung flusters.
“How did that sound?”
“Nice”, Taehyung whispers and tugs Jungkook’s into a kiss by his hips.
“Mhm”, Jungkook lets out, keeping his hands away from Taehyung in order not to get him dirty.
The kiss breaks because Jungkook broke it, chuckling fondly as he does.
“Nice, it feels so nice”, Taehyung murmurs, snuggling into the crook of Jungkook’s neck.
“I’m dirty, you know.”
“I don’t care.”
“You’ll care when I accidentally put paint on your expensive shirt.”
Taehyung laughs with Jungkook, fingers playing with his belt loops mindlessly.
“What’s up? You wanted to ask me something.”
“Ah yes! Do you perhaps want to come to my wing later? I want to show you my atelier.”
“Uh, atelier tour. Yeah, I’d like that. Am I gonna see your star painting then?”
“Yes, it will be the first thing I will show you.”
“Neat. Is it okay for you if I finish the ceiling first? I don’t want it to get patchy.”
“Of course, take your time. I shall wait for you in my wing. Please take your time.”
“I’ll be quick. Promise”, Jungkook says and turns to return to his task.
Taehyung leaves his wing as well, bursting in giddy excitement. He will be able to show Jungkook his stars ceiling and his secret room. Jungkook will be the second person after you to know of the room’s existence (Taehyung isn’t aware that Yoongi knows the room as well after he once found you sulking in it a long time ago).
“Taehyung?”
Taehyung is in the atelier, doing the last finishing touches, when Jungkook calls out for him. The older vampire hurries outside, speeding up when his eyes fall upon Jungkook waiting by the front door. He dressed up, body hued in blue jeans and a red button up. Taehyung feels his stomach flutter. He is so beautiful.
“Look at you. You are so handsome”, he gushes, greeting Jungkook by taking both his hands and kissing his knuckles.
“You’re handsome too”, Jungkook says, gazing at him fondly.
Taehyung straightens up, touching Jungkook’s waist. Truly, he cannot keep his hands to himself.
“Please, come in. I am so happy that you are finally here.”
“Sorry it took me a while. I had to shower and everything”, Jungkook excuses himself as he slips out of his house shoes.
All of you mostly wear house shoes when you hurry around the estate, but take them off once you are in each other’s wings. It is cleaner this way and less cold on the feet.
“No worries, I told you to take your time and I meant it. I prepared wine and chocolate. I hope you like them.”
“I love wine and chocolate.”
They intertwine their hands as they wander to Taehyung’s atelier. Jungkook has already been in Taehyung’s wing before, having spent his time in his bedroom and bathroom, so he is familiar with the artful hallways the older vampire curated over the centuries.
“I am very happy to hear that. I find wine and chocolate to be a wonderful combination.”
“Yeah, right.”
They reach the atelier. Taehyung stops and turns to take both of Jungkook’s hands.
“Do you trust me?”
“I do.”
“Close your eyes.”
Jungkook follows with a giggle, squeezing Taehyung’s hands in excited anticipation.
Taehyung leans in and steals a kiss, eliciting another giggle from Jungkook. Only once the kiss was stolen and Jungkook properly charmed, does Taehyung finally lead him inside.
“Keep them closed.”
“I am.”
Taehyung places Jungkook in the middle of his atelier, right underneath the moon and endless stars. He lets go of his hands and steps aside.
“Open them.”
Jungkook opens his eyes, gasping in delighted surprise.
“Wow, it’s beautiful here”, he says softly, looking around the room. The artful murals, the countless canvases, the scattered art supplies and well-preserved antiques. The love Taehyung has for this room and which he also poured into his art in this room is felt greatly by Jungkook.
“This is the most beautiful studio ever. I love it so much” he gushes, “is the stars painting one of those paintings?” he asks and steps closer to the huge canvases Taehyung keeps leaned against the wall.
“Look up”, Taehyung tells him, almost bursting in excitement.
Jungkook lifts his head. His face falls, his eyes widen.
“Holy fuck.”
Taehyung giggles and cackles, bouncing on the spot as his face contorts into the brightest smile.
“Woah. Yo, holy shit. Wow.”
Taehyung grabs Jungkook’s arm, shaking it in excitement. The latter looks at him, unable to hide his true bafflement.
“This is blowing my mind. This is the most beautiful ceiling I have ever seen.”
“I, I painted it myself.”
“You did what?!”
Taehyung steps closer, shaking Jungkook’s arm harder. He might burst in giddiness.
“I painted it. I spent three years of my life watching the sky and painting what I saw.”
“Holy fuck, Tae. This is the most impressive thing I’ve ever seen. Wow”, Jungkook says, looking up at the ceiling again to take in the beauty of it, “wow…”
“I had hoped that you would like it.”
“I love it. It’s seriously baffling to me. You painted that, like, holy fuck.”
Taehyung giggles and cuddles Jungkook from the side.
“You make me so giddy.”
Jungkook chuckles, wrapping his arm around him. He cranes his neck to kiss the crown of Taehyung’s head.
“You’re cute and fucking talented. Wow, I can’t stop staring. Wow.”
“Do you want to know how I was able to watch the sky?”
“Of course. Did you go outside on the balcony?”
“No, better.”
“Better?”
Taehyung tugs Jungkook with him by his hands.
“Follow me. I want to show you something very special. It is my place of tranquillity. Only ___ knows of it.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
“Wow Tae, seriously this room is amazing. Did you paint the murals too?”
“I did.”
“Damn Tae, just wow.”
Jungkook has to exclaim yet another round of “wow”s, when Taehyung shows him the entrance to his secret room. He follows him with even more exclaims of wonder on his lips, meeting his crescendo when he finally stands in the octagon shaped library. Taehyung, bursting in giddiness, lies him down on the mattress and tells him to keep his eyes on the ceiling. Then he hurries to the lever, opening it with his eyes not once leaving Jungkook’s face. He wants to take in his first reaction.
“Wow!” Jungkook gasps and then becomes silent as the view steals his words. All he can do is stare and gaze in wonder as the ceiling moves aside to make space for the endless night sky.
Taehyung hurries to him, lying down beside him. He cuddles into him in a way which still allows him to look at his face.
“What are you thinking?”
“This is so beautiful”, Jungkook whispers, tearing up, “I love the stars so much.”
Taehyung, who is gazing at the endless galaxies in Jungkook’s deep brown eyes, answers him in whispers.
“I love the stars as well.”
Jungkook, unaware that Taehyung didn’t speak of nature’s stars but those of his’, looks up at Taehyung.
“I can’t believe that I lived here all these months without knowing that this room exists.”
“I keep it well hidden. I find great healing in this room and only people most special to me get to know of its existence.”
Jungkook blinks away tears, “thank you so much for trusting me.”
Taehyung kisses his lips. Softly and with love.
“I will always trust you”, he whispers, caressing his cheek slowly.
Jungkook flusters, lowering his eyes shyly. He might still be far away from perfect control, but at least with Taehyung, he can experience gentle love already. Jungkook feels at peace in his presence. And uncontrollably giddy. He lifts his eyes again so he could look at the face which makes his stomach flutter so very much. Jungkook thinks that he is even more beautiful with the stars as his backdrop.
“Do you want to see something else? And then we can finally enjoy the wine and chocolate under the stars”, Taehyung asks with sparkling eyes.
“Of course, show me”, Jungkook whispers.
“Follow me”, Taehyung drags Jungkook to one of the shelves.
“Is it by the books?” the younger follows with a fond smile.
“Indeed, yes indeed. I have books you could enjoy. I, I gathered them here for you”, Taehyung says and takes out a big heap of books, putting them on the floor.
He and Jungkook sit down cross legged and while Taehyung stares at him in anticipation, Jungkook takes one of the books.
“Really?” he gasps, eyes lighting up and racing over the other books as well, “all of these books are about the stars and the universe and, and astronomy!”
“Indeed. Yes, indeed”, Taehyung giggles, bouncing on the spot, “do you know any of them already?”
“No. I don’t know any of them yet. Oh my god, this one! I wanted to read this for so long, but I could never find it anywhere!”
“It is first edition. I knew the author and they gave me a copy when it was first released.”
“Wow, oh wow this is so cool, wow”, Jungkook wipes his eyes quickly, giggling, “I can’t believe I’m holding these books.”
“You can have them.”
“What?”
Their eyes meet. Jungkook has widened his eyes so immensely that they appear almost round.
“You can have them. I want to give them to you.”
“But. No. No, I can’t take them. They’re yours and they’re expensive and, and valuable.”
“And I want them to be yours”, Taehyung assures him, “they would catch dust up here with me. Knowing that they could find a worthy home with you, would mean so much more to me.”
“I can’t take them, no.”
“Yes, you can. They are yours. Truly.”
“But-”
“No buts. I insist”, Taehyung shoves them closer to Jungkook, “they are yours.”
“Are you really sure?”
“I am. So very sure.”
“Oh god. Thank you”, Jungkook falls around Taehyung’s neck, “thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Taehyung smiles, hugging him as tightly as possible. The sweet scent of true happiness radiates off of Jungkook. His squeaky giggles are yet another indicator of the immense happiness Taehyung makes him feel.
“Thank you so much. Thank you so, so much.”
“I’m so happy to know that they found a new home. They will be well taken care of.”
“They will, oh god”, Jungkook sits back on his heels, beaming at Taehyung with glassy eyes, “you have no idea how much I dreamed of having more astronomy books. I, I only have a few and, and they are either very modern or really ruined already. I, I read all of them so many times already and, and now I have new things to go through, oh god. I want to cry, oh god”, Jungkook hides his face in his hands and sobs a little.
“Goodness, don’t cry”, Taehyung gasps, rubbing his arms soothingly.
“I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I appreciate this so much. How did you know I would like all of this?”
“I truly hoped that you would. You told me about your love for astronomy and so I wished for all of this to be of your liking.”
“It is. All of it. Oh god”, Jungkook sobs softly. He is being seen and therefore loved. If this is what dating a man feels like, Jungkook is so glad that he can finally experience it. It feels so good to be treated so well.
“Are these happy tears? I cannot tell anymore.”
Jungkook nods his head, “I’m happy.”
“Yes? Oh, mon amour I’m happy to know”, Taehyung gushes, dropping his hands to Jungkook’s thighs.
Jungkook lowers his hands to hold Taehyung’s, smiling at him even if he sniffles.
“I’m so happy. I’m so, so happy.”
Taehyung smiles, feeling incredibly warm in his chest.
“This means more to me than you might think. All I want is your happiness, my north star.”
“Oh god”, Jungkook giggles, falling around Taehyung’s neck again, “oh god, Tae. I love you.”
“I love you too, mon bel amour.”
#jungkook fluff#taehyung fluff#bts fluff#bangtan fluff#taekook fluff#jungkook romance#taehyung romance#bts romance#bangtan romance#taekook romance#jungkook fanfic#taehyung fanfic#bts fanfic#bangtan fanfic#taekook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#taehyung fanfiction#jungkook scenario#taehyung scenario#bts scenario#bangtan scenario#taekook scenario#jungkook drabble#taehyung drabble#bts drabble#bangtan drabble#taekook drabble#jungkook x taehyung#taehyung x jungkook#fanfic: sanguis duology
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day flower … park jongseong
SYNOPSIS. bent over the sink, coughing up petals and blood, you knew that your worst fears had come true.
PAIRING. jay x fem!reader
GENRE. fluff, angst, lovers2?, established!relationship (?), hanahaki au
WARNINGS. profanity, mentions of food, mentions of blood, quite a lot of kissing, possibly making out (?), one mention of loss of weight, graphic, mcd(?), death(?)
WORD COUNT. 5.3k
NOTE. i just wanted to write something sad and i came up with this,, idk why i chose jay to fit my mental image of this bc its so saddening to even imagine— EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD PLS DO READ😭‼ thoughts on an alternative ending? update:: I MADE ONE: !! ALTERNATE ENDING. !!
Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!
i. the bud blooms
At the ripe age of 12 you were sent away with your mother after a preceding divorce bought with complexities and the drop of niceties. This, however, was your chance at a fresh start or whatever your mother bullshited about when you knew you'd nonetheless be a burden to her.
Maybe she was prepping you to put up with her never coming home nor checking up on you as time passed. With no real restrictions you spent your time outside after school and by the field of daffodils you found after a hike up the crest of a low hill.
A google search on the then simplistic site displayed that daffodils symbolise new beginnings, quite accurate given your situation. Much hadn't changed now as only the site was cleaned up to look mod and appealing but the information remained.
On the sole field you met a boy. Dark hair brooding his lowered eyes, and he wore nothing but a tiresome look on his face. He stepped forward and scrunched his nose in annoyance at the sight of you, an intruder to his scarce peace. "ugh, whatever, just stay on that side of the field and don't disturb me," With no one to tell you when to not bother someone, you did exactly that, eventually getting him to gleam a boyish smile at you.
Just like the search engine viewing your answer, that boy, jay, seemed to have an answer for almost everything. Smart and logical, would always rationalise with himself and was punctual with his timings at the gripping age of 13. Not once had he been late when you’d inquire to meet him the very next day, finding him at his usual spot, grimacing at the withered flowers. His punctuality and love for flowers (?) scared you, either he was messed up in the head or he'd been expected to act like an adult for the majority of his life, to live up to his parents expectations.
He wandered to these fields for his lonesome mind to sing to some melody of a song you didn't know, caressing the petals of the varied and wilting flowers. You accompanied him with a sketchbook in hand, your hands at work, your ears to his humming and occasional tunes with no comments or interruptions. You had not a thread attached with his absolute, practical life, and that's what he grew to enjoy as he sang you sweet songs and admired the minimalist beauty of flowers for hours together before he vanished back the trail he hiked up.
A decade long later, he stood the same punctual, intellectual, stellar citizen as his facial features matured and took a dark yet captivating bloom while he sobered from a teen to a young adult. Now the heir of his grandfather's company, he revelled in the success of his grandfather's business. To say he grew would be an understatement, rarely ever flashing you that lovable boyish grin, never to sing his silly little tunes in front of you again.
You weren't one to pry, years into your first ever relationship with your first love and beyond afraid to lose your loose yet stitched in place frail, threaded red heart the two of you share. The photobook stared upon you, urging you to reminisce about your uneventful past filled with mostly jay. The current times didn't get any exciting either, you painted and attended exhibitions, the usual smile carried on your peach tinted lips at the guests and those interested in buying your pieces.
Contrary to this, jay barely made it home, cooped up in his office all day everyday, allowing himself to come home merely upon completing his work. You didn't mind really, the two of you went out, spoke to each other often, and were happy. This while around, he had been distant for a week or two, his longest record of shutting you out till date. You figured he was exhausted mentally and gave him the space though you wished to circle in his arms and breath wistfully.
You veered your attention to the pages and stopped on one of jay, sat beneath the tree near your old, broken, rundown house, looking into the farther distance, admiring the view, and so were you at the time, etching each feature of his delicately put together face, ingraining it in your mind, taking out your then new but now ancient camera to capture the spectacle.
You grin at the photo stuck, your orbs drifting to the messy lyrics he'd written in english to match the mood of the moment, this particular one that of your favourite song till date, one that he used to sing you to sleep.
"what are you looking so fondly at," uttered jay whose presence you failed to recognise in the room, his exasperated expression making you almost coo at him. You patted on the bedding beside as he followed, crossing your painting that you'd left to dry for hours ere.
"our photo book," you replied gaily, surprised to see him speaking to you after weeks, instinctively reaching for his cheek and staring into his eyes to find the very night sky in them, to find them gleaming right at you, the type stars would beam before they went out. A mesmerising yet sad beauty.
His gaze flickered from your soulful eyes and he glued his sights to the photo and hummed in agreement, "i guess i've always looked this good," he finished the tire in his vocals evident with a slight snicker. You shifted closer to him on the bedding which you wrinkled in the process, "you always have," you completed, pulling him closer by the hand that cupped his cheek.
You drawled yourself up to his level, running your thumb back and forth on his soft skin while your other hand ran through his soft hair, watching as he watched you with this solemn look you couldn't put a finger on. You smiled wider and hovered your lips over his as you ultimately gave in to his alluring presence and pressed your soft lips to his in a desperate yet sweet manner.
He hummed from bewilderment and slinged an arm around your waist, inching the distance closer than possible, tilting his head further and into you as he danced with your lips. You pulled away and gasped, blinking as bliss hit you, wondering if it could get any better than this? You drew away and slotted your lips on his again, covering his frantic yet slow lips, kissing him passionately, emptying out your heartfelt sentiments in the shared motion.
You climbed off and undid his tie and the first button of his dress shirt and told him to wash up, getting to your feet, fetching him comfortable clothes and a glass of water to drink. He changed into them after washing up and sat back down on the mattress, back pressed to the headboard, the glass coming in contact with his lips that stained yours not long ago.
He glugged the cool water down his throat and set the now empty glass on the bedside table, your hand ruffling his hair as he yearned for your lips to confirm his doubt, tugging down and setting his lips against yours to feel the emotion again as you relaxed into his warm touch after a long day.
He separated the connection as a string of saliva drew apart and suspended, a sigh of what you thought was content from jay as he flopped to the soft matting underneath him. A pit settled in his stomach and he felt guilt. He chose to ignore the feeling and set his eyes to a close.
You joined him, clinging onto him, kicking on the blanket to yourself and snuggling into his shoulder with a grin. Jay forcefully shut his eyes with a wince he hoped you'd miss it and placed his hand on your waist. Jay pretended to sleep as you hiked up on your elbow, leaning to press a peck to his forehead and mutter, "i love you."
Truth be told, jay sighed out of worry than content.
ii. blossom
You gotten used to the sight of jays absence when you awoke from your prolonged slumber, even the days you rose as early as 8, he’d be out the door, bidding you goodbye as he tucked in the loop of tie and tighten it around the collar, patting you on the head before bolting out the door and zooming off in his vehicle.
He’s been distant but never avoiding, and that's what you felt like he was doing this time; avoiding. As painful as it was to accept the fact that he had been avoiding you for the past week was hurtful. Yes, he was out and at work, he hadn’t stepped foot in the house since a week, nor would he receive your calls, excusing himself through text messages shorter than 5 words.
Time you made him show up yourself.
You spent almost the entire day prepping your setting, going as far as decorating and cooking something you saw online which ended up pretty decent. Now, all you needed was to lure jay like a wasp to light. You picked up your cell, dialling his number, your throat feeling rather scruffy as you coughed on the ringing line to soothe the uncomfortable sensation.
“did i work too hard for this, i feel my throat closing up,” you mumble, waiting for the line to connect, the mere automated voice blaring through your ear canal causing you to hang up and opt to text him. “come home, its an emergency,”
Not the best, but surely it’d do the trick, and in an hour's time, jay showed up, panting as he bolted the door open, “where's the fire!” he shouted, standing in the common room, across your resting figure on the couch. You yelped and got to your feet, rushing over and placing both hands over your heart, “here.”
His expression morphed from his initial shock to confusion and to anger. He should've seen it coming as it was February the 14th, Valentine's day. Discarding the tie to his fist, he stared you down with menacing eyes, making you gulp down the present discomfort in your throat, your fearful yet expectant orbs gazing into his raged one.
“i’m really trying to control myself,” “good, we haven’t even started,”
With his tongue poking the side of his cheek from annoyance, you led him to the backyard where a table was set from your preparation and he seemed surprised at the notion, and his mouth slitted open as you hauled the piping hot dish towards the meagre wobbling metal table that withheld the dishes well, allowing you to take a seat opposite of jay.
The look in his eyes was penetrating, feeling your throat close in more as you coughed uncontrollably prompting him to hand you a glass of water, glued to his seat as he observed you heave up and down before the hectic coughing subsided and you felt the air reach your nostril and travel without a hitch to your lungs.
“sorry, i, uh, made us dinner,” you conveyed, forcing a wide smile while overlooking your fit of spontaneous fits of coughing, “i can see that,” he responded sternly, beginning to serve the food onto both plates, his eyes not letting up the cold act for a millisecond, like he almost meant it.
You picked at your food, staring at him eat wordlessly, the irritation in your throat causing you to gag and wince every now and then before you mustered to pierce through the tension filled atmosphere, “did i do something wrong?” The resounding clang of the utensil to the plate made you straighten your back, “no, i’m just upset over the fact you had to lie to get me here,” he paused, drifting off into a daze, “i haven’t come home in a while, i know,”
He shifted away from your constraint, locking eyes with his meal and eating the plate clean, “you’ve gotten better at cooking,” he commented, shutting his eyelids and leaning back on the cold metal of the chair, waiting for you finish your respective meal, making you swallow down the larger chunks in haste. You stood to your feet, the ordeal leaving a metallic taste in your mouth. The chair scraped back, you collected the dishes and placed them in the sink, the unsettling pit in your stomach only digging deeper with the irking sensation in the back of your throat growing ratched.
You went to bed with a heavy heart, his back facing yours as he wordlessly drifted to slumber, leaving you to your consuming thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, he really was exhausted. You shouldn't have been so disapproving of him for his mental absence.
Either way, your plan was an absolute failure.
The sun rose inevitably and jay arose to his right, feet planted on the rugged flooring, remaining sat on the bedding, heaving a loud sigh. He peered over his back to sneak a peek at your asleep state. The way your eyes were clamped shut and your brows furrowed with a strong pout spoke enough of your nightmare and jay exhaled into his palms away from you.
He'd hate to break your heart but he'd hate to lead you on even more. He couldn't bring himself to feel the same anymore, his emotionality drained and his sentiments aside, he felt guilt to have wronged you. He felt like a shitty person every morning to face your innocent stature suffocating him in wallow. So, every morning, he left before you awoke to stop the aching in his wilting heart.
The dip in the mattress rises as he does, stepping disheartedly to the bathroom to start his mundane routine. The shower head shoots water as his hair dampens, his sole salty tears mixing with the overhead resource, tears drowning in silence. You stir awake with your throat suffocatingly sore to the point where swallowing water was excruciatingly painful.
The small clock on the bed side table ticked with faint clicks, the hour handle clocked at 7 with the longer needle on 40 as the splinter-like needle spun periodically. You coughed, finding it hard to breathe, the itching sensation increasing as you felt something will up your throat, your hand bracing your mouth in a clasp.
Mustering out the strange discomfort inducing object, you coughed out a petite, white petal, accompanied with a sized spot of blood painting its own canvas— your palm, per se. Observing the viscous liquid the upside length of your hand, you begin to feel nauseous, ripping the blanket off you and grasping your neck from pain.
You separated the petal from the splash or crimson, clutching it in your free hand as jay made his way over to you, draped in a bathrobe, ushering your tained palm inspect. He grimaced at the sight of blood staining your palm, his thumb instinctively finding your cheek rubbing it of what he attempted to seem affectionate.
Tears pricking your orbs, you urged forward and wrapped your arms around him merely to be held away from his hold with a jerk, making you gape clueless. "it'll stain," he reminded, though he'd pushed you for other reasons he couldn't have the guts to come clean too.
Wiping your eyes dry, you stepped away from him and washed away the substance while jay suited up for work. You left the premise and returned to where jay buttoned his shirt hastily. You strode up to him and finally found yourself in his hesitant hold, peering up to him with glossy eyes.
He sighed into your face, his arms tightening around you as you hiked to his eye level in your tiptoes to press a peck to his lips. You approached forward and pecked his lips, to confirm your growing doubt. You readjusted to kiss him, parting your mouth only for him to pull you back once again with another excuse.
"you haven't brushed your teeth yet," he delivered with a soft tone, running his hand down your bed hair. It stung. Not just your throat, your heart, years ago into your relationship you'd made out plenty of times with a nasty breath and none of you seemed to mind. He really was making… excuses.
The flowers, the blood—him avoiding you, your fleeting touch— most importantly, he began to ignore your feelings for him.
Jay was falling out of love with you.
iii. grow thorns
Desperate. That's what you felt coursing through your veins as you curled into a ball on the carpeted floor in the empty residence, jay long gone on a business trip to wherever. Upon your gruesome piecing together, you felt despair and spent most of your time wallowing in streams of tears.
It was March and you laid sick in bed, occasionally leaving to fulfil your regular duties as a human while completely neglecting physical activity and socialising, not like you were good at either but this case was extreme. The same boy you felt deeply connected to, the boy who made you understand what love felt like, the boy who showed you true love—which your parents always failed to accommodate— was also the boy who'd crumble your fragile beating soul to rubble.
Your first petals you coughed were once pea size petals that gradually turned into full fledged, grown petals, heaving up your trachea, branches growing in your lungs making it all the much harder for you to breathe. In arounv a week's time, was your anniversary with jay. It'd be foolish to think he'd just take you back like that after the answer of unrequited love stood from your lungs.
Perhaps if he broke your heart a second time, you would be convinced and mercilessly succumb to the inevitable.
You kept the petals you threw to a side, setting up a fresh canvas and painting a blank later for white onto it. Unsure of what to paint, you stood contemplating what you were even doing in the first place but the thought of gifting it to him seemed motivating and so you began.
Strokes of wet paint slapped onto the once pearly white canvas, skilledly sketching with your brush the outline of your objects, filling in the remnants of white into the backdrop of the portrait. It wasn't over till it was, eventually over. The faint lines of your boyfriend became clear and so had your mind. You knew what your next change of plan would be.
Jay returned around two weeks later and by then your health had declined and the loneliness merely increased. Hesitant to speak to you, you took the hint and mainted your distance as well, only interacting when needed as he used the spare bedroom to rest. Indeed,.t hurt to think that he found it hard to even sleep next to you but you weren't going to take it till he uttered the words himself.
Then came your anniversary. The two of you had been great friends for four years and then dated for four and you'd like to say that you both were still going strong, though your current situation said all but that. You requested jay to help in making dinner for the while none of you spoke a word of the day's occasion.
You were at work chopping the vegetables as jay readied the base, sprinkling some spices and checking the flavouring every now and then all without saying a word to you. Your eyes travelled from the steaming stew to where he placed the spoon between his lips, a furrow creasing on his face, tongue clicking.
"salt," he mumbled, eyes drifting from around where he situated, then shifting to around you. The salt was placed beside the chopping board, and that meant it was across you, an arm's distance. Without much thought, he stepped closer to you and reached for the salt, his arm brushing past your waist, causing him to tense, his orbs darting to yours.
You solemnly watched his eyes grow from hesitate to panic to worry. Worry, however, caught you off guard? His hand remained on the salt bottle, arm still at your waist. "you've gotten thin," he mustered, peering down at you. Your lips parted and cursed yourself for the water gathering in your tear glands.
You shifted to face him and your fists collided with the material of his shirt, clutching it in your grasp while you looked to your feet to collect your thoughts. Jay watched with no thoughts, bewildered at your shaken state. Just in time, your throat began to cave in.
You showed him your back, heaving up and down, the petals trailing up your throat and hitting your palm. You smacked your chest uncomfortably to stop the tractions to not let him suspect anything was out of order.
"you okay?" he queried, feeling the thumps of his feet getting closer to you, panicking as you collected blood and petals into your hand, the fear of him peeking it at your new high. He reached to your position and you scurried off in a haste towards the washroom. Passing by your jar of petals, you dropped them into the pot in a hurry as jay caught up to you.
Drowning the crimson in the sink you ran water on your hands, cutting the water supply and placing your wetted hands on the cold counter, panting. The heavy footsteps echoed and then soon were planted behind you. You gazed at his fallen front in the mirror. Why? Why did he look disheartened? Did he feel something for you after all?
He panned you around, caging you to the marbled counter, sealing in his arms with your chest by his, solely daring to search for any love in his eyes. Yanking the sleeve of your sweatshirt laid a spot of crimson from the viscous liquid. You mentally winced and set your sights away from him.
His finger glided to your chin and brought you towards his front, his palm resting on your cheek, "you're not okay, are you darling," he conveyed as your heart grumbled at the endeared name, a stray tear threatening to stain your cheek. "i've been unwell,"
The silence dawned on the two of you as he buried his hand in your hair, tugging down on it to tilt your head up, and his finger parting your nimble lips, the salty taste lingering in his mouth as he pressed down, and gave you a kiss. Under any circumstance than this, you'd relish the feeling but you felt sick with your throat itching.
Nonetheless, you played into his act of affection, gripping him further as his neck dipped to reach further in your cavern. Taking in what'd be the last time you'd ever meet his lips with such fever you attempted to feel the texture of his moist lips diving in and out. the pop sound loud and clear as you pulled him off of you. He settled his hand by your ear, his thumb giving you a false sense of security as he rested his forehead against yours.
"shall we get married?"
The falter in his facials was apparent and you felt your heart fall to your stomach. "marriage? what are you talking about, we're only 21," he missed, trying to play it cool.
"you know I love you right?" you did love him, you weren't lying but he didn't and you wouldn't let go of him till he said those harsh words himself.
His lack of reply set you off and you changed your blank face to that of despair, " you don't love me?"
"i…"
You shoved him away, crinkling your eyes in downward crescents as tears peaked from your eyes, playing at his heart strings. You felt the similar aggression of anger pile in him as he rushed his breathing, brows furrowing deep and the same mouth you kissed parted to utter icy words..
"do you know how it feels to date the one you've known and cared for since you were child?! not once have I ever hurt you nor done anything to hurt and i never will but I can’t sleep at night looking at your unaware face that i settled to for work. It’d break my heart to break your’s but i can’t let up with this without feeling guilty for leading you on when i cannot bring myself to feel those sentiments of love— i just don’t love you like before! "
Though you knew it was coming, the actuality hurt so much more. The lines of him declining your love for him played repeatedly. Jay left the room and the house, slamming the front door to possibly never return again. You sobbed even harder than before, falling to the floor urging the feeling to succumb to die as you coughed up amounts of blood and petals onto the floor in shambles.
iv. wither
April came as fast as March left with Jay slamming the door, never to return under any circumstance. You strongly believed he began living at his office unless one friend allowed him to stay over for an extended period of time. You, however, hadn't had any luck with getting better, accepting you would die soon.
Mustering any strength you conjured to get out of bed, meeting the carpeted floor where you'd spend hours staring at the ceiling with teary eyes. You were going to go down like this, despite your dreams and aspirations, this was how'd you succumb to death.
The sole motivation to sit by your canvas, that slowly came to picture, was the haunted expression in his front you could imagine ever so vividly. You meagre around the house to get your jar of thrown up petals, stained scarlet, quite a nice piece of decor to the vicinity though it'd be too bad that you'd be gone to not see it as one.
Frailly reaching for one petal, then another, you stuck them in carefully, the internal shaking refusing to seize as your breath turned shallow, leaving you gasping for air, overexerting yourself in finishing the piece.
On the once pearly white canvas sat a portrait of jay through the lens of your antique camera where you stood a trail of your petals and blood mixed onto the canvas, increasing as they led to your situation behind the camera just like your dying self behind the canvas.
Finishing the painting, you felt the hot breath hit your tired out hands and brittle paint dipped fingers— the same fingers Jay would kiss to you sleep, ticking you into bed if you ran a fever— were also the ones that gripped to the head rest, giving to the growing tiredness that overcame you, turning to lie flat on your back.
The keys jingled in the near distance, jay slipping in through the door, watching as nothing had really moved around in the house. He contemplated on notifying you of his abrupt appearance, opting to slowly creep up the stairs. Unknown to you, you had started coughing again, the strength in your arms to cover your mouth non-existent.
Resulting in the blood coating you and the mattress in a painful fit of red as you sobbed heartbroken to yourself wondering where it went wrong, did he require more space, had you been more mindful would he still be at your side.
Jay stilled on hearing your heart wrenching sobs, the previous hesitance gone as he ran up the stairs and to your situation on the bed stained bed. Having forgotten about your coughing fit of blood through the apparent stress from the separation.
His sight fell to the canvas in front of him greeting as you cough seized, your eyelids lugging over your glassed over orbs, jay getting to knees as he saw you covered in blood, his hand finding your paint ridden hand. You gave a weak chuckle, "if we ever meet again, I hope it works out then," you say, the diamonds leaving the comfort of your eyes and onto your crimson imposed self.
Jay heaved from panic, "why didn't you tell me?!" He hurried exclaimed, his hand running down your arm to keep your burning vessel even warmer. Unbeknownst to him he'd been crying and you watched with low eyes close to shutting, your palm lifting up to his tear stricken cheek, "just know," you paused, shutting your eyes completely feeling the life get sucked out of your body.
"i loved you."
alternate ending. (1.6k)
#park jay#park jongseong#enhypen jay#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhyped angst#jay angst#jay fluff#jay imagines#jay x reader#jay oneshots#jay fanfic#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen angst#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen drabbles#enhypen fic#enhypen scenarios#enhypen jay x reader#jay scenarios#jay fic#jongseong fluff#jongseong imagines#enhypen jongseong#park jongsung#enha#enha imagines#enha x reader#enha jay
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kind of a nika update since i don't really post much personal stuff on here, but i think?? most of the ppl i wouldn't want seeing any personal updates are blocked and would have to go out of their way to see this so. whatever.
anyway hi. i am crawling along. the tl;dr is that after the past, uh...what now makes 7 years of being constantly in survival mode, moving from place to place, living day to day and just desperately trying to survive, as of, idk, september? my life has finally kind of somewhat slowed down. i got out of a very horrible living situation, and have been working every day on remembering how to Live and Breathe. turns out trauma is a lot!
on top of that, i am finally in a space to address my health. besides mental health (diagnosed with things that make sense, the adhd and the autism) i'm also figuring out my physical health. i finally got my PCOS diagnosis after a couple years, and am in the process of figuring out what kind of EDS/connective tissue disorder i've got. my life at the moment consists largely of working, followed by doctors appointments, followed by sleeping.
i'm more exhausted than i ever could have imagined. i'm burnt out in a way i never expected. it's like i was a bird on an eight year migration and now that i've finally stopped having to flap my wings, i can't move at all. it's a lot to work around. i feel terrible that so many things have slipped away from me, whether it be responding to people or finishing up overdue commissions (i swear on everything in me that i haven't forgotten, @thebreakfastfish. i have the files on my ipad. i look at them every day! and yet, i pick up the pen, and my brain starts turning into static, and. yeah. i am working up the capacity to send you an email with a bigger update and some actual progress because you saved my ass last december and somehow it's been a year and aaaaaaaaaaaaa.)
work is good. work is great, actually. i love my job. it's a Lot, but i love my job. working in non-profit is a lot, and i am Important in that i manage a lot of projects for clinic services. i work to help the vulnerable population where i live, so it's fulfilling, but it's also exhausting. turns out Thinking for eight hours a day makes your brain mush. this year has also been a series of unfortunate events for my job. four of our physical locations flooded in january, our main clinic was destroyed by it, we've spent months building back up and figuring out how we're going to rebuild, etc etc. tons of long term things in the works to fix things that happened overnight 11 months ago.
so things are Good but things are also Endless. i'm trying to not lose myself in the thought that this is how it's going to be forever. i want to create again, to dream and think and breathe again. there are moments among the fog where i do live and breathe and enjoy--i have a partner now, who was a friend of a few years first, and he brings me so much joy, and helps me love myself in ways i didn't think i was capable of. but by and large every day is a struggle where i am relearning how to live. how to feed myself and care for myself and exist in a way where i am not crushing myself to survive.
i hope i can get to a place where i can do the things i want to do again. i want to run tabletops again--but the thought of organizing something weekly, for multiple people, and creating and responding to things on the fly, makes me physically hurt. i want to draw and paint again--but i pick up anything and stare at the paper or ipad for hours and then sigh and turn things off. i think of words in the shower and run to write--but then i open the document and everything is gone. i feel like i'm in limbo, in some kind of purgatory, trying to crawl my way out. but at least i'm not in the inferno anymore.
#nika rambles#i figure i still have a fair amount of mutuals and friends on here who like#would wanna hear how i'm doing and what's up#so yeah here is a post here is an update#man on the topic of commissions i know i owe i haven't forgotten about john and hannah's either.....GAH#how i wish i could simply just. create again
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18 20 22!!
18. A memorable meal this year?
gosh well @msmargaretmurry made this harder by already giving three of my most memorable meals of the year! but here was a good one: in anchorage mom and i just walked into a ramen place (no reservation, no dinner plans, we were fully walking around like idk what to do for dinner tonight) and had one of the best meals we've ever had. i don't even have a picture of mom's ramen but it was even better than mine (and mine was great)
20. What’s something you learned this year?
i learned a bunch of knitting stuff! several new cast-ons and a new cast-off and how to do cables and a funky lace thing that i just started learning this month! i'd like to learn some basic crochet stuff before the end of the year but that depends on whether becky feels like trying to teach me again 😂
22. Favorite place you visited this year?
with apologies to british columbia and seattle, it was definitely alaska. i saw so much cool stuff and learned so much and i feel like i barely scratched the surface and would love to go back!
look under the cut for pictures!
mountains in the yukon from the plane window
local cider the first day we were there
a little guy at the anchorage museum
a painting i loved that they didn't have a print of at the museum store
reindeer sausage (eaten in the dining car on a train we took that was like. one of the most beautiful ways i've ever spent four hours. just STUNNING views nonstop)
a glacier!
kenai fjords national park
humpback whales
denali
denali national park (mountain not pictured)
fireweed
arctic fox trotting home with dinner
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bf!ranpo x gn!reader
----------------------------
surprisingly
ranpo has been in a relationship
although he broke it off when it became too much work lol
so when you ask him out..
he refuses.
ELEVEN TIMES.
until finally he's like
"one date"
but that turns into you officially being his s/o
when he took you on your date, he took you to a candy shop, spent 92$, went to the park, ate all of it while playing 20 questions
yes i've thought about this
so everyone knows how he keeps candy at his desk?
he constantly shares with you
it's his gestures of love
but he refuses to share with anyone other than possibly kenji
speaking of love
he was the first one to say i love you
he just let it slip one day and was like
"ah, well, i already know you love me too so whatever"
when you sleep over at ranpo's apartment
you notice that there's a lot of night lights
and it doesn't take you long to realize he's afraid of the dark
ranpo needs constant attention
and if that isn't possible
constant praise.
he thinks highly of himself, and if you do as well?
he'll be damned, he feels like he's king of the goddamn world
ranpo constantly has you in his lap.
not even in that way
he just likes to know that you're RIGHT there
when you get in an argument
he's the first one to apologize
but he'll NEVER admit he was wrong
because was he? let's be real here
ranpo probably has a ten step skincare routine
he doesn't drink a lot of water
rather stuff with a lot of sugar
so you constantly have to remind him to drink water
ranpo is afraid of needles
so if he ever has to go to the dr
you bet your ass you have to go with him and hold his mf hand
the dr just looks at you like (´⊙ω⊙`)
ranpo isn't as extravagant as everyone else
but he is ROMANTIC
when he's feeling up to it i mean
i'm talking late night walks in the park!!
my standards are so low.
he'd probably ask poe to get the both of you stuck in one of his novels
LOVEZ watching crime shows with you hit ultimately ends up figuring out who the murder is
and then proceeds to scream at the tv for the next half hour
ending it with "i told you"
if you dare tell him that they can't hear him, you'll never hear the end of it.
you and ranpo probably adopt every stray cat on the streets you see
but sadly
you cannot keep all of them.
but you did keep two!!
this little tabby and her orange boyfriend who you begged ranpo not to split up
i feel like ranpo can paint and idk why
like water colours
before you got together, he painted you
and when he gave it to you, you were like "omg thank you so much"
and we're on the verge of tears because of how much you loved it
and that's when you asked him out
ranpo has a cat stuffed animal that fukuzawa gave him that he sleeps with
he also has a pit stuffed animal that yosano gave him
..and a cow that kenji gave him.
all in all, the entire agency gives him gifts constantly
he likes to watch your favourite shows with you but ends up falling asleep on your shoulder
ranpo carrie's crystals for good luck
on dates with you, he brought rose quartz (for love)
you have to remind him to eat healthy 90% of the time
also likes to watch interior decorating shows because he thinks he could do it better
his apartment looked like ass before you moved in
he's tried to eat the lava in lava lamps on more than one occasion
let's just say the hospital definitely knows who you are by now
----------------------------
btw, anyone's free to send in a request! i love being able to do them :)
like six hours later and i'm just realizing i forgot to tag this
#ranpo x reader#ranpo headcanons#ranpo edogawa#bungou stray dogs ranpo#edogawa ranpo imagines#bsd headcanons#bsd x reader#bsd hcs#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs headcanons
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Tomogachi Dave has destroyed my mind. I just think it's really funny. I've never had one idk how they work but:
- Jeff kissing the fucking tomogachi post nut and then feeling stupid for doing so
- Jeff using a mouth fleshlight instead of a hole fleshlight and Dave's tomogachi character looks covered in cum after
- Dave demandeding Jeff buy him Wawa brand food at the tomogachi store
- Jeff hiding the fact he has a weird tomogachi fuck buddy now. He plays it in the bathroom, not even for jacking off purposes, Dave will forget to feed and water himself. Jeff gives him shit for being so needy all the time. He gets embarrassed when the beeping goes off in his pocket.
- Dave's gets super pissed whenever Jeff drops him on the floor. Jeff doesn't know if the shell casing is an extension of Dave's being. Dave isn't sure either, but he feels light sensations and gets something from Jeff playing with him.
-Jeff didn't want to carry him everywhere at first but then Dave would get super depressed being forced to stay in the same spot on the counter all day. Now, Jeff goes on regular walks just for Dave's benefit. Dave likes looking at the sunset. (He'll start bitching via incredibly loud beeping if Jeff leaves him in one place for too long)
- One time, Jeff accidentally left him in a dark drawer for a few hours on accident while he was multitasking. He had a little Jesse from Toy Story moment and felt super scared Jeff would forget about him, then he'd be stuck in the dark forever. Bro went nonverbal. Jeff spent longer looking for him because he couldn't hear the beeps. He felt like shit even after finding him. They didn't speak for days. Jeff got him a lot of WaWa Snacks, but he just wouldn't eat, so the food stacked up, and the area got messy. They worked it out via Jeff repeating that he was really sorry and making him a little aesthetic area for him to sit on his at home desk so he doesn't get lost (think teenage girl diy tiktok trinkets/key holder). He just has so many trinket holders with different objects in them for different textures. Jeff will rest him on a phone stand so he can look outside the window while he works. The trinkets holders are noticeable, like even if you didn't know him before, it's a bit odd this (specific) middle age man has so many tiktok-like trinket/jewelry holders.
- Dave feels safe in his pocket. He usually chills there while Jeff works, he got in the habit of fidgeting with him while he's in there. It's nice because it's like he's holding his hand. Dave starts beeping if Jeff stops holding him for a minute, and he gradually gets louder the longer it goes on. His coworkers are really confused why he always keeps his hand in his one pocket and keeps going to the washroom but are too afraid to ask in case if it's a medical device (why would Jeff have a tomogachi? it has to be something else). They lowkey suspect diabetes or something.
- Jeff dropped him in a kraft dinner box and shook him up for enrichment once (Dave didn't like that).
- Jeff either found tomogachi Dave mysteriously left at his door one day or via yardsale/ebay creepypasta style. He was in a random little box.
- Dave was a prototype made in the 90s but never saw use until now. Just chilled alone for decades until Jeff, that's why he's so clingy (and mad and horny).
- Dave starts beeping to distract him from work at home, but it's something Jeff's been trying to fix for hours so he "treatens" to shake him up in the kraft dinner box again. This leads to bickering, which leads to angry sex. (He literally chucks the tomogachi on the bed and tosses it around every once and a while as he fucks the fleshlight)
-One time, he tossed Dave off the bed hard by accident and it made a big clink sound. His heart fucking dropped because he thought he shattered Dave for a few seconds. He found Dave on the floor shook up but fully intact except for some chipped paint. It actually "physically" hurt Dave (first time he felt the sensation of pain) but high on tomogachi adrenaline he started shouting at Jeff, making him jack off and cum in his hands instead of him (fleshlight) as punishment.
(I italicized "clink" for dramatic effect and now the block of text above is acting weird, my bad)
- intimate moment with Jeff repainting the parts he chipped off Dave
- Jeff falls asleep holding tomogachi Dave in his hand
i’m so fucking obsessed with tamagotchi dave this is like the most intoxicating au ever. even robodave with a womb window can’t touch this @dykecassidy LOOK at this shit
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I made an art influence map because @nblemons did it and I wanted to do it too!!
Template here
Honorable mentions/guys I couldnt fit on here: Yume Nikki, SamSketchbook, Monkey Punch, Wolf's Rain, Cowboy Bebop, Henri Matisse, Noda Satoru, Osamu Tezuka.
There are probably more but I've already spent way too long on this lol.
Wanna talk about them all briefly:
Watership Down: no duh. This movie imprinted on me from a very young age and made me way more of a furry than I already was. I always liked how realistic the designs were compared to mainstream rabbit designs which focus on the 'cuteness' of the animal. I think it's dumb because rabbits are kind of stroppy violent jerks and I like them for that.
Aboriginal Art: this is kind of related to Watership Down because I took a lot of inspiration from the intro and the almost cave-painting like designs. It took me way too long to discover that what was so grabbing about that into was that it was inspired by Aboriginal artwork! I hope this is okay to say because I'm neither Aboriginal or even australian and a lot of the cultural meaning is lost on my dumb ass, but I think the shapes, techniques and colours are wonderful. Painting I used in the pic is by Charlene Carrington
Lorne Lanning: is the main designer for the Oddworld series of games and I wish more people knew about him because his character designs and conceptual art are just fantastic and gripped me from a very young age. And he made a game where you play as a cowboy who shoots bugs at people!
Spyro reignited: dragons are hot.
Spirited Away: I love Miyazaki's entire filmography but Spirited Away really had a grip on me one particular summer in school, the same one where I learned how to use watercolour paints, and I think it had more of an influence over my art than the others for some reason. It's a very summer-y movie to me with very bright colours.
Edmund McMillen: probably more well known as 'that guy who made Super Meat Boy' I've always loved the cartoony yet grotesque imagery in the Binding of Isaac which I am about to clock in 1000 hours on on my steam account. Another game of his which really got to me was Aether from the Basement Collection. Watching his segment in Indie Game the Movie and how he translated his fucked up upbringing into fun, heartrending and addictive games really inspired me.
Animal Well: I only just played this game for the first time this year which is why I made it very small but idk what else I have to say other than 'just fucking LOOK at it'.
Frida Kahlo: I did a project on her for school which involved watching a movie about her life which was both fascinating and tragic. Her surreal art can be both bright and evocative and also downright tearjerking.
Pokemon: whenever I'm designing a character I have Pokemon in mind, say what you want about certain designs but Ken Sugimori and all the other artists who have contributed over the years really have the talents to make a cute, fearsome or oddball guy you want to go on adventures with.
William Turner: another one from my school days and an artist from my own country. I always loved the colours and sweeping brushstrokes.
Eiichiro Oda: Yeah man what can you say about One Piece. When I was about 15 and having daily meltdowns, copying the expressions on his characters really helped me figure out how I was feeling. Oda is a menace but good lord he can draw.
David Hockney: When I was also in school I attended an exhibition of his which was basically "im retired and I can draw whatever I want now" with blown up ipad sketches and these strange landscapes with fauvist colours. I thought some of it was dumb at the time but looking back I really admire his use of colours and the looser movements compared to his older work.
Masahiro Ito: Creator of Pyramid Head, Bubble Head Nurse and 'Honey Butter Fuck Toast'. The man, the legend, the 'this is fuck' guy. His blend of the grimy industrial, bloody, monstrous and sexual is so fantastic. I feel like I should also put francis bacon here because most modern horror artists owe everything to him, but god I love Silent Hill and the imagery this man created will live on in my brain forever.
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hi robin :] very random but im watching craft videos while i eat dinner and it got me thinking about ur ceramics. giving u permission to ramble about the ceramics process (or literally anything abt ceramics), if you want to <3 idk anything abt ceramics like not a clue but im very curious and every time u talk abt them i stare at u w sparkly eyes (also i've recently developed a HUGE respect for all 3d arts bc holy shit making it look right at all angles ?????literally how)
👀✨‼️
Hi thank you so much!! staring at you with the same sparkly eyes,,, watching craft videos while you eat that's so cool,,, Also, weirdly enough, I have the same "how???" thoughts about doing 2d art. I have trouble conceptualizing making something look right from only 1 angle; that seems like a lot of pressure. with a sculpture, if something doesn't look right from one angle, I know there's probably some structural problem, and I turn the sculpture around a little bit and usually figure out that the problem is deeper than what I thought. I'm thinking of ears, specifically—how, often, my problem with the outlines of my ears (seen from the front) is that the back of the ear isn't full enough, I need to add clay, and just nudging the clay to fix the outline wouldn't Work. and I wouldn't have known if I couldn't turn the sculpture around. the respect and awe goes both ways
longgg ramble about the ceramics process below the cut :]
okay SO. the ceramics process, huh? Well, I mean, I'm really in love with the sculpting part, where you take wet clay and make it into an Animal with Bones And Muscles. I just love the animal form—I think in a similar way to how you love the human form and the way clothing folds. I do wheel-throwing too (I make cups, bowls, that sort of thing), but I've been sculpting since I was like 8 years old and I'm way better at sculpture. it's one of a few things in my life that I take genuine pride in. I love teaching people about sculpting, too!! nothing better than seeing someone instantly grasp the insight I spent years developing <333 ANYWAY
one thing that often surprises people about clay is that it's very... flexible, water-content-wise. clay is basically made of a bunch of small "plates" of dry material with water in between. the water makes the entire structure flexible, which is why clay shrinks and goes brittle when it dries. and clay is always drying out. small sculptures like the ones I make, especially ones with thin limbs (more surface area for the air to leech moisture out of) dry out within half an hour. I have to add water to the thin parts every so often the whole time I'm sculpting. but of course the clay has to be firm enough to hold the creature's overall shape, so it's a balance. it's always a race against time. it's super exciting. To Me, anyway
it takes a day or two for a sculpture to dry. After the sculpture dries out, that's when I paint it with my special pigments. (pigments that survive 2,000+ degrees of heat!!) Like this:
these are the same sculpture. the first picture was from right after I sculpted the wet clay; the second picture is after it got painted.
Then once a sculpture is made, it sits and dries, right? the water leaves the clay. but not ALL the water. that's why you "fire" the sculpture: you put it in a kiln and heat it up to ~1800°F. EIGHTEEN HUNDRED DEGREES. at that point, all the water boils out and the clay CHEMICALLY CHANGES. the "plates" begin to bond to each other. But they don't bond all the way in the first firing, because you want the clay to still be porous / hydrophilic. you want it to SUCK IN WATER. this is because you want GLAZE to attach to the clay.
Glaze—at least the kind of glaze that I use—is basically DIY glass. It's a lot of very fine silica (sand) with other stuff (like powdered metals) in it to give color. The sand-metal-powder is suspended in water to make it usable, and I stir up the glaze in its liquid form and dip my sculpture in it, and the super dry clay goes YAY WATERRR I'M SO THIRSTY and GRABS the glaze, and the powdery part is left on the surface of the sculpture while the water goes into the clay. it feels funny on your skin when you hold a sculpture in the glaze; you can actually feel the dry clay accepting the water. it feels like... have you ever dropped water on a bone-dry wooden board and seen the water spread out in the direction of the wood's grain? it feels like that.
the sculpture is left looking white and powdery and generally not very attractive. unfired glaze is just... thick white chalk.
THEN I fire the clay a SECOND time. The heat varies, but I always fire to at least 2,244° F. >:D >:D >:D and the sandy glaze actually MELTS INTO GLASS. and I open the kiln, which has the products of about a year or two of work in it, and I WEEP IN JOY because everything has COMPLETELY TRANSFORMED. firing is always risky. some of the sculptures always fail somehow—they break in firing for various reasons, or the glaze runs onto the shelf, or the glaze color turns out different than I thought. but some of them always come out BETTER than I imagined. and it's always a process of discovery, slowly unloading the kiln, layer by layer... the objects still warm from the heat of their firey transformation... hot enough to burn, if you're unloading before they've cooled enough, which I usually do because it's just so exciting...
and my glaze shrinks slightly more than the clay does. imagine that: a thin layer of glass shrinking more than it can take. you can actually hear it breaking. little quiet "plink! plink! plink!" as the glass shatters just a little under the stress. we call it "crazing" and it leaves little cracks in the glaze, like so:
you can also see tiny bubbles in the glaze on the rabbit's inner ear!
I just. (physically shaking) I just love ceramics so much. The sculpting part feels almost like meditation. it's almost a form of worship, for me, it's religious, it's a little version of creation, a way to look at bodies and try to express how they work. For the simple sculpture, I just make them from memory, but I work from references for my difficult sculptures—for instance, here's the little pile of images I collected to make my recent tiger:
the painting part is just plain fun, putting cool designs and stuff on a 3-d object in a low-pressure way. and then the two firings are pure magic. pure delayed gratification. it's incredible. you're telling me this thing I shaped with my mortal human fingers survives TWO THOUSAND DEGREES OF HEAT? you're telling me I get to MAKE COLORED GLASS? out of SAND and METAL? you're telling me after all that, I get to open up the kiln which has put these things through immense heat and see these beautiful objects and go I made those?????
YEAH. SCREAMS.
thanks for reading, I hope you had fun <333
#HIII#hi what a fabulous ask??#sorry I'm a little late; I was on a like vacation family visit thing#back now!! just in time to answer your ask and then vanish offline for a few more days I'm afraid OTL#this is so technical... augh... I only care about chemistry in the context of ceramics but in this context I go INSANE about it#sorry I wrote you a whole essay on the ceramics process... do you forgive me... do you still love me#ceramics#Robin speaks#am I *GOOD* at anatomy? eh... not the best! do I *LOVE* trying to figure out anatomy? YES
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I talk a lot about my Tyler and enid being besties agenda and I made a short post about it awhile ago but I wanna flesh it out more bc I love them and this is my account so no one can stop me mwahaha.
Anyways Idk how it would actually work but either wyler, or wenclair with him coming back with a redemption arch or poly Wednesday with both Tyler and enid as significant others and them as queer platonic. Or all three. idm how it happens im just here for it.
Hcs
He lets enid paint his nails. Sometimes its all different colours to match hers (and she talks billions of instagram photos of them) sometimes with itty bitty little designs but usually some sort of light blue colour. He gets complemented by the old ladies that come in to the weathervane when he hands them their coffee and he secretly loves to show off his nails. (Once when going to the raven she painted them black to match wednesday) ((she secretly liked that they where matching))
This man hears all the gossip from his job. Being a barista at the only coffee shop in town?? Dude gets all the tea. So basically him and enid (and thing) will have gossip sessions where he tells her all the things he has overheard whilst working. (Enids readers and shocked at the jump in range and accuracy of gossip that goes up on her blog)
Tyler goes to her for fashion advice all the time. He lets her dress him up for special events like the harvest festival ect and will always go shopping with her just to hold all her clothes. (When asked the difference between two slightly differing shades of pink jumper he just blindly closes his eyes and picks one) (Enid realises and once picked up two of the same item and forced him to choose which was better - both she and Thing found his panic as he desperately tried to figure out the difference hilarious)
They bond over how much wednesday manages to get them in sticky situations. ((Like in the gates mansion where they shared ‘tf?!?’ Looks the whole time)) Tyler once remarked that mysteries literally seem to follow them wherever they go as all three of them climbed through some sewerage tunnel looking for clues, wednesday was no impressed. They spend hours in a day talking about the weirdest things they love about her ‘once she let me braid her hair after she got out the shower - I have never felt love till now’ ‘oh really well she let me pick her WHOLE OUTFIT for the harvest festival and then let me post the pictures of us in matching fits. Im pretty sure she loves me more’
Tyler has tailored some specific sweet drink for enid that he makes every time she walks in the door with her friends. Its piled high with whip cream and marshmallows and he calls it the ‘enid special’. No one else is allowed to order it. (Wednesday once accidentally took a sip whilst she wasn’t paying attention and threatend to cut her tounge out of her mouth because of how sweet it was.) Enid loves it and its on her story all the time with Tylers @ down at the bottom
Speaking of social media enid freaked when she saw tylers bare instrgram page. They spent all evening redoing it. He has three posts, the first one was an old photo of him and his mum he posted on her birthday, one is of him and enid with their matching nails and him and Eugene out at the hives with the caption ‘first week at nevermore going better than expected’ and the third one is a photo of him and wednesday enid took whilst waiting in line for the dunk tank captioned ‘the only murder this year was the way wednesday killed it at the carnival’ - the second photo on that post is him and enid with the pile of stuffed animals that wednesday has won for them bc she knows they both love them. He has one highlight thats just a ☕️ and its all his attempts and late art and baking goods for the weathervane.
Once helped enid dye her two toned hair and ended up with blue tips in his own hair for a few months bc he couldn’t say no to her. Thing ruthless made fun of him for it and His only response was the fact that Thing had never said no to enid either so maybe they where both as pathetic as each other. He actually ended up really liking it and keeping it in for a while (wednesday liked it too, to the surprise of both Tyler and enid but she swore she would shave their hair off in their sleep if they told anyone. ((They never did)))
Enid helps keep the crazy in. Him and wednesday escalate each others fires which is good when needed but sometimes he wants to feel normal - like he did before Thornhill manipulated and groomed him into being a ruthless monster with blood on his hands. And so when the flashbacks and nightmares get too bad enid will sometimes find him curled up at the end of her bed half covered in plushies. When he gets ansty she will pull him along to show him the newest draft of her blog or drag him into helping prepare Ophelia Hall for the next poe cup (she has sworn him to secrecy but he wasn’t planning on participating anyways, not being super big into the whole school spirit thing) until his hands stop shaking and his eyes loose the haunted look
Once he has learned how to control hyde him and enid in her wolf form will go running and playing on full moon. The hyde is still slightly weary of wolf!enid which both enid and Tyler take slight enjoyment in. one time whilst they where out wednesday started playing her cello on the balcony and hyde!Tyler got so distracted that he ran straight into a tree. Enid and Wednesday never let him live it down. They chase rabbits and make a competition of who can catch the most and instead of waking up cold and alone after transforming back Tyler wakes up warm and covered with a soft blanket on the floor of the girls dorms (he sleeps mostly in enids stuffed toy mountain after full moons and has scared Yoko, Ajax, Xavier and Kent many times when they come into the room) ((its also a convenient place to hide him when the new dorm monitor comes around to tell them to turn their lights off))
They would definitely brainstorm dates together. Whoever u ship (wyler or wenclair) doesn’t matter. For wyler enid would help him set up another creepyish highly wednesday focused date with the sole bribe of him telling her all about it later. for wenclair he would help her plan dates that wednesday would like and recommend places in Jericho to go bc he has lived there his whole life. Either way they do have a whole whiteboard that is full of date ideas (his whiteboard marker is blue and hers is pink - Thing gets green) wednesday fully knows they collaborate but bc it doesn’t end up on enid blog and she’s soft for them she lets it slide.
They also hang out on enids side of the room when wednesday is writing. Sometimes they get banished to the balcony for laughing to hard but its totally worth it.
Enid makes Tyler get high things for her as well as carry heavy things. She also rides on his shoulders/back everywhere. Yells “CHARGEEEE” and everything just like a toddler. Wednesday has a photo of them like this and has it as the background of her Home Screen but no one knows
Speaking of phones, Wednesdays Lock Screen is a stupid photo that Tyler and enid took and set as as a joke. U know one of those ones where its taken from below and both their heads are swished into the frame peering up at u? She refuses to change it claiming ‘she doesn’t know how too and will not let any of you imbeciles touch my phone’ but they both know she secretly likes it - wednesday would never let ‘not knowing how to do something’ stop her from removing it if she really wanted to
Enid put eyeliner on Tyler once and he loved it. He lets her do it all the time now - not overtly crazy she just tight lines his eyes and smokes out his bottom lash line. He has never felt more pretty before - and he got loads of compliments at work. When wednesday first saw it she just stopped and stared for 20 seconds before glaring at him marching out onto the balcony so he counts it as a win.
Tyler gets along with morticia and enid gets along with Gomez really well. Obviously Wednesdays parents love both of them and immediately took them in but you can find Tyler and morticia talking about the latest book they have read over tea and gomez loves showing enid all of his striped suits, as well as teaching her how to fight with just her claws. Pugsley loves both of them more than life itself and lets enid paint his nails and plays non torture catch with Tyler whenever they are home on break.
He lets enid sit with him while he bakes. Its sort of a stress reviler and she will usually sit on the counter tops as he bakes cakes or muffins or pastries for the weathervane to sell. She gets to pick the music and they both dance around the kitchen whilst its cooks. She definitely licks the spoon and he always gives her a ‘quality control taster’ before he puts them out to get the enid stamp of approval. ((Once for his birthday she got him a t-shirt that said ‘enid stamp of approval’ he definitely did not cry over the fact that she and him 1. had an inside joke and 2. she actually forgave him and approves of him as a person. He wears it with pride) ((wednesday steals it to sleep in sometimes and they both think its adorable when they catch her wearing it))
So this got way out of hand but yeah!! I will probably continue this at some point but this is it so far. Let me know if I have converted u bc Tyler needs more friends/love and support in his life and I feel like enid would be the one to first befriend him at nevermore bc she knows she could kick his ass if he tried anything :)
#and he never would tho#bc he is a sweetheart and I love him#but yeah!!#wednesday addams#tyler galpin#enid sinclair#wyler#wenclair#I dont know how to tag this#ummm#tyler x wednesday#wednesday x enid#they are besties ur honour I swear#wednesday netflix
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