#idk i have more thoughts but this is already long enough

[nothoughtsjustfic]

Instinctive - L.C

🐺Who: Lee Chan (Seventeen) x female reader 🐺What: Smut. Supernatural au. Neighbours au. Werewolf Chan. Friends to lovers. 🐺Word count: 3.3k 🐺Warnings: Mentions of masturbation. Is it voyeurism when they’re in their own apartments and he’s jerking it to her jerking it? Idk but that. Rut. Ovulating. Breeding kink. Unprotected sex. Copious amounts of cum. Dirty talk, including some degradation. Knot :)). Multiple orgasms. Mention of past Seokmin x reader (i did him dirty, im sorry seok). Marking. Possessive Chan. Mention of sex toys. 🐺Summary: “There’s only so long Chan can last hearing you masturbating next door with his name spilling so melodically from your lips. His rut turns out to be his breaking point.”

Minors do NOT interact, which means reblogging and/or commenting on this story. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in their bio.

Masterlist

A/N- Thank you @lovetaroandtaemin for discussing this with me when I was coming up with the idea and supporting the rut smut agenda 💗

“Fuck.”

Chan doesn’t think he can handle this; another unsatisfying orgasm to the tune of you whimpering and moaning his name from the other side of the wall in your own apartment.

It’s not the first time he’s jerked off to the sound of you jerking off to him, at least, he assumes it’s him. He’s briefly entertained the possibility that you know another Chan, but he’s never lingered on it for the sake of his own self-satisfaction. Even if you’re touching yourself to the thought of a different Chan, he’s going to keep pretending it’s him you’re thinking off when you bring yourself to another sweet-sounding climax.

Usually, just hearing you gasping out his name amongst faint, wet sounds, which he really has to try hard to hear even with his supernatural hearing, is enough to satisfy his lust for you after spilling onto his own stomach a few times.

Yet today, it’s not enough.

Even after enough orgasms that his cum is spilling over his abs and thighs onto the mattress beneath him, it’s not enough.

“Fucking rut,” Chan grunts and squeezes the base of his still hard cock in a vain attempt to stop the arousal fuelled throbbing begging him to go again, and again, and again.

Chan knows what he really needs is to bury his cock in a tight, wet hole, and preferably a fertile one to satisfy the animalistic part of him yearning to breed. Usually, Chan has a very good control of his urges even during his rut. But usually, he doesn’t wake from a midday rut nap with his cock aching and the sounds of you moaning his name behind his head.

Somehow, he had forgotten that it’s Thursday and you have Thursdays off work; something he only knows because he doesn’t see you on your usual shared wait at the bus stop to go to your separate jobs, so he had asked one day out of curiosity. And now he knows, he knows that you spend Thursdays catching up on chores and doing self-care. He just never realised that self-care meant multiple orgasms and driving him fucking insane.

Blessedly, he doesn’t hear you start up again after your last coincidentally mutual orgasm. When he hears your bed creak as you get up and pad away, he slumps into his pillows in relief and drops his hand from his cock. As much as his erection still weeps for attention, he knows he can ignore it if he doesn’t have you tempting him beyond belief.

After catching his breath a little more, Chan shimmies his boxers the rest of the way off his legs and uses the already cum stained material to wipe the mess from his skin, allowing him to climb off his bed without dripping his arousal all over the floor.

He’s made that mistake before and had to rearrange his bedroom furniture to cover the obscene rut cum stain from the carpet with his bed. He had tried his hardest to scrub the stain away but something about rut cum is extra stubborn and sticky, so he had covered his shame and hopes he remembers to replace the carpet before he moves out.

Just as Chan is leaning over the bed from one side to start removing the dirty sheets, he hears a noise from your apartment that makes him freezer in disbelief.

You’re moaning, again.

“What the fuck?” He gasps and abruptly straightens to stare at the shared wall with wide eyes. “How is she still going?”

At first, the news that you apparently have a never-ending libido sends his own singing and his cock dripping where it hangs hard and heavy between his thighs, but then the frustration of being unable to work through his rut with minimal effort like usual gets to him and his blood burns with more than just pure arousal.

Without a single thought in his mind, other than the instinctive part of him repeatedly imagining burying his cock into your dripping pussy to fill and breed, Chan grabs a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from the basket of clean laundry he hasn’t yet put away, to pull on as he rushes through his apartment.

He’s still pulling his t-shirt down over his torso when he yanks the front door open and stalks outside to approach your door and harshly knock the door.

While he impatiently waits, he at least has the presence of mind to adjust his erection to tuck into the elastic of his sweatpants uncomfortably so it’s not obscenely tenting his sweatpants. He doesn’t want to mentally scar any of your shared neighbours, or risk getting arrested for public indecency. He’s horny, not stupid.

The first attempt of knocking your door is fruitless, you don’t answer even if he gives you more than enough time to get to the door knowing that you’re not exactly in a decent position to answer.

Yet you don’t come, to the door at least, and he huffs an annoyed breath before knocking again, even harsher this time, hoping to get the urgency across.

It works, and he hears footsteps in your apartment, along with your laboured breathing.

“O-one sec!” You call breathlessly.

Chan grips the doorframe on either side of the door as he hears you take a moment to calm your breathing while his own grows harsher now that he can start to smell your arousal thanks to the slight gap at the bottom of these shitty doors the landlord is too cheap to replace.

He hears the slight drag of the metal cover over the peephole move, then your tiny yelp as you no doubt realise that the man you’ve been fucking yourself to the thought of is standing on the other side of your door.

After you take another few deep breaths, the lock disengages and the door opens enough that your blown pupils can peer around the security chain, the edge of pink stained cheeks taunting him with the wonder of what you must look like without the door in the way.

“Ch-Chan,” you greet. “You didn’t go to work today?”

“No,” he answers through clenched teeth and focuses on the tiny gap of entrance mat for your apartment that he can see with the door open this far, just so he doesn’t have to see how aroused you are right now, smelling it is bad enough.

His fingers curl harder into the doorframe, and he feels it threaten to give under his touch, but he doesn’t care, he’ll replace your door himself if he must, he just needs to keep his hands busy, so he doesn’t rip that fucking chain off the door to get to you and shove his cock into your needy pussy.

Fuck, he knows it’s needy, he can smell how much it wants to be bred right now.

As if it wasn’t bad enough knowing that you’ve been masturbating with him on your mind, he now knows that you’re fucking ovulating, fertile.

“Oh,” your scent shifts, concern beginning to overpower the arousal, allowing his shoulders to relax and give his mind the chance to clear ever so slightly. “Are you ill?” You worry, shifting enough that he sees the teasing glimpse of a mostly bare thigh peek into view around the door and he tenses back up. “I’ve got medicine, let me remove the chain and you can come in and-” Chan’s left hand darting out to grip the edge of the door before you can close it and remove the chain, cuts you off with a soft yelp of surprise. “Chan?”

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“Don’t remove that chain, baby, because if you do, I’m going to lose control and I’m trying so fucking hard to not rip the chain away myself so I can get to you and take advantage of how fucking fertile you smell right now,” he warns lowly, eyes still glued to the door, though the second all concern leaves your scent and your arousal returns tenfold, his head snaps up to land his dark gaze on you, only the slightest ring of bright red circling his dilated pupils and for the first time, giving you solid proof that your neighbour is a werewolf.

“A-are you i-in rut?” You whisper, slightly trembling fingers curling around the edge of the door just below his hand. Before your skin can touch his, he rips his hand away and grabs the doorframe again.

“Yeah, and hearing you moan my name like a bitch in heat isn’t fucking helping, sweetheart. So do me a favour and stop playing with your pussy for a few days until I can handle hearing it without wanting to break your fucking door down and breed you round with my pups, alright?”

Chan doesn’t give you a chance to respond, he grabs the doorhandle and pulls it closed slowly, to give your fingers chance to move. Once it clicks shut, he takes a few steadying breaths before forcing himself to let go and back up.

Just as he starts to turn to return to his own apartment, he hears the rattle of the security chain on your door, and he freezes in place.

Without a word, you open the door wide enough to let a person through, a silent invitation as you stare shyly down at the floor between you.

Now that you’re not hiding behind the door, Chan can see that you’re wearing an oversized t-shirt and nothing on your legs. He has no idea if you’re wearing underwear or not, part of him really fucking hopes not, as your t-shirt stops at the top of your thighs but it’s not long enough to hide the shine of arousal smeared on your inner thighs.

He growls your name softly, in warning, making you lift your head just enough to peer at him through your eyelashes. “You don’t know what you’re asking,” he mutters out through tightly gritted teeth, hands balled into fists at his sides tight enough that he can feel his short nails digging into his palms and threatening to break skin.

“Y-you want to breed me, right?” You reply and he nods jerkily in confirmation. “Well, come on then.”

It’s all Chan needs to surge forward and wrap his arms around your waist to hoist you up onto his hips while his lips hungrily claim yours. The way you immediately whine and press your hips forward against his t-shirt, dampening the material, while you kiss him back just as enthusiastically makes Chan’s cock throb almost violently with need.

“Gonna fill you so good, baby,” he promises as he shuts the front door to all but slam you against it, hands groping your ass and groaning finding a distinct lack of underwear. “Dirty girl, answering the door with no panties.”

“I-I was busy,” you reason as his fingers tease over your pussy. “Chan, come on, no teasing, ju-just give me your cock.”

“Ask nicely,” he smirks against your cheek before nipping at your skin, making you whimper and grind against him. “Desperate for this cock, baby?”

“Yes! Wanted it since we met. Please give it to me, come on, Channie, give me your cock and fill me with your cum until I can’t take anymore, and then keep going.”

“Fuck,” he whispers against your throat and hikes you a little higher with one arm so he can reach the front of his sweatpants with his free hand and shove them down enough to free his cock. “Gonna fuck you so much you’ll never stop smelling of my cum.”

“G-good,” you gasp as he presses the head of his cock against your hole.

Although you both clearly want nothing more than for Chan to pound you into the door until it cracks under the strength of his thrusts, he eases into you slowly, eyes closed and mouth open in awed pleasure as your slick walls hug his length so perfectly that he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to fuck anyone else. At least, he’ll think that later, all he can think now is warm, wet, tight, warm, wet, mine.

If he wasn’t deep into his rut, Chan would be embarrassed that as soon as he’s buried to the hilt, he cums and floods you with his sticky release.

“D-did you just cum?” You baulk in surprise and unintentionally clamp down around him, making him groan against your skin.

“I can go again, don’t worry,” he assures a moment later and proves his point by pulling his hips back and immediately starts fucking into you in earnest, skin slapping up against yours and cock hitting so deep inside that you’re already clawing at the back of his neck and tipping your head back as moans stream from your open mouth. “That’s it, that’s my girl, let the neighbours know whose cock makes you moan like a whore,” he pants out and removes one hand from your ass to reach up and grab your jaw. He watches your expression intently as he turns your head to the side so the edge of your face is pressed to the cool wood of the door. “Go on, tell them who’s breeding this greedy little pussy.”

“Chan!” You shriek obligingly and don’t stop, practically wailing his name every handful of thrusts as tears slip down your cheeks from the almost overwhelming pleasure. “D-don’t stop! P-please don’t stop,” you beg as you feel yourself getting close to what you know will be the most satisfying orgasm you’ve had all day, if not months.

“Not until you’re so full th-there’s no room left,” he promises and turns your head with his hand still on your jaw so that he can lean in and lick into your mouth.

It’s not even a kiss, Chan’s letting his instincts lead him and they’re telling him to taste you however he can and cover you in his own scent so that everyone knows that it’s not just your pussy that belongs to him.

Something about the action sends you hurtling over into an orgasm powerful enough that your entire body tenses, and although your mouth is wide open, not a sound comes out.

Chan leans back to look at you in concern, hips pressed up tight to your body as your pulsating walls milk another orgasm from him that makes him tremble. But he’s too worried by the fact he’s very sure you’re not breathing to focus on his cum filling you again.

Luckily, it’s only a second or two before you gasp and come back, chest heaving and a string of filthy moans leaving your lips. Chan lets out a relieved breath and leans back in to cover your exposed throat in kisses and soft bites. He wants to mark you, but he knows you work a very public facing job and the lovebites would likely get you fired.

Though, it suddenly occurs to him that he makes more than enough to support you both, and he doesn’t want you to work when your body needs all the energy to grow healthy pups, so, fuck your job.

As soon as Chan’s mouth suctions to your neck, you slide one hand into his shaggy hair and hold him closer, encouraging him to suck mark after mark into your skin as his hips grind up into you, a new desperation under his skin as he feels his cock flaring in a way he didn’t expect to experience yet, if at all.

Chan whines against your neck as his knot grows and grows, forcing your dripping pussy to mould around it while you writhe at the extra pressure and stimulation you’ve not felt before.

“Th-that’s it, baby, t-take my kn-not,” Chan encourages breathlessly, fingers digging into your ass hard enough you know you’re going to bruise; marks you’ll wear with pride.

“S’good,” you slur, grinding down against him and tightening your thighs around his waist, making Chan moan appreciatively against your throat before his shoulders tense and nails dig into your flesh as a final, mind shattering orgasm rips through his body once his knot is as big as possible and locking your bodies together to keep his thick, sticky cum from seeping out.

Slowly, the tension in Chan’s shoulders seeps away and he melts against you, fingers loosening against your skin before smoothing soothingly over the indents he can feel decorating your asscheeks. “Sorry,” he mumbles apologetically, finally feeling his libido rest and his rut to end now that he’s given his animal side exactly what it wanted so desperately.

“I liked it,” you assure softly, fingers running through his hair soothingly. He hadn’t even noticed you’re doing it until now and lifts his head to look at you. You smile at him, looking sleepy and utterly sated. Beautiful.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he breathes out in awe before he can even register what intends to spill from his lips. He flushes a little, making his already exertion-red features darken further.

You giggle and cup his cheeks before tilting your head forward to press a soft kiss to his lips that makes butterflies erupt in his stomach. “So are you. We’ll have beautiful babies, huh?”

“O-oh,” he swallows thickly, eyes widening slightly. “You-you weren’t just indulging my rut?”

“I was horny, not stupid. I’m not going to indulge a breeding kink without precaution in place for just anyone, you know.”

“So you will keep it, if I really have put a baby in you?”

“What happened to saying pup?” You frown confusedly.

Chan smiles embarrassedly. “Sorry, that’s the wolf side of me, it only comes out during rut.”

“Oh, so your rut is over?” He nods and watches puzzled as your lips protrude a little.

“Are you sulking?”

“No.”

“You’re pouting.”

“It was hot, okay,” you huff, cheeks tickling pink. “Nobody’s fucked me like that before and I’ve been with a werewolf before, but he was…boring.”

Chan snorts a laugh. “I’m telling Seokmin you called him boring,” he teases, making you look at him with wide eyes. “Did you forget that he’s my friend? I literally introduced you two.”

“Shit, please forget I said anything.”

“Can’t believe you just told me my friend is bad at sex.”

“It was good! He wasn’t bad, like he made me cum multiple times without fail every time, but he was just…too sweet and…vanilla…” you trail off when you notice the slightly darkened, determined expression on Chan’s face. “Uhm, are you okay?”

“I can make you cum again.”

“What?” You laugh. “That wasn’t a jab at you!”

“I can do it!” He assures, slipping a hand between your bodies to locate your clit and start working his fingers over it, making your eyes widen in surprise. “Gonna make you cum so much you won’t be able to remember anyone’s touch but mine.”

“Good,” you agree and tug him in to kiss the pleased smirk off his face.

As it turns out, Chan is a man of his word; he sends you into a sharp orgasm against the door before carrying you to your bedroom where he lays you out and makes use of the vibrator abandoned on your still damp sheets to work another two orgasms out of you before his knot goes down. Then he fucks you until you’re sure neither of you will be getting up for at least an hour.

While he’s laid tracing mindless patterns on your bare, sticky back while you’re sprawled half on top of him even though you’re both covered in sweat and cum to the point it should be disgusting, but it just makes him weirdly proud, Chan finds that for the first time in his life, he’s glad that his rut makes him react so animalistically; he doubts he would’ve gained the courage to claim you for himself otherwise.

Thank fuck for instincts.

Don’t forget to reblog if you liked to help spread the story and let others read it too! And don't be shy to leave comments or send an ask so I can see your thoughts 🥺 💖

Permanent taglist: @okiedokrie, @tusswrites, @svtiddiess

[harmonicabisexuals]

Season 5 rewatch thoughts: 

(idk if anyone actually reads these but idc I like writing them lmao)

overall thoughts: this was a shorter season (only 20 episodes) but it didn’t feel like it for some reason and I can’t decide if that’s good or bad lol. the distance between “Redux” and “The End” feels enormous though, and I think it’s bc you can really divide this season into three distinct sections: the cancer arc climax of Redux/Redux II, post-cancer arc (Detour, The Post-Modern Prometheus), and post Christmas Carol/Emily arc, that all have a very different tone from each other. obviously the main overarching theme this season is mulder and scully’s role reversals of believer vs. skeptic, but this season also deals a lot with trust in a way that I found similar to earlier episodes (particularly “wetwired” in regards to “the pine bluff variant”) but where the themes manifest in a different way bc the M/S relationship has changed so much even just from the beginning of the season

msr: redux/redux II is earth-shattering for so many reasons but imo this is the point where i think it’s solidified for both of them that they are IT for each other like there is no possible way they can imagine a future without the other in it. (now I don’t think they think the other feels the same way as they do lol but it’s a confirmation of their own feelings at least) but, coming to this realization is deeply painful especially considering the emily arc, scully’s chip, mulder’s disbelief, and just the weight of their work and the x files in general- made all the worse bc it is impossible for them to separate their work from their love for each other. the ouroboros of it all!! “folie a deux” is the culmination of the horror show of their current relationship, and diana in the following episode further takes an axe to it, particularly for scully. I also don’t think it’s completely fair to say that mulder alone stopped anything from happening in “detour” bc scully also did the same thing in “emily” when she refused mulder’s comfort (understandably, she was probably still pissed at him, but as she told the social worker, she was also keeping him at arms length for her own protection). who knows if things would have been different if that hadn’t had happened, but I think her rejection of him makes their distance from each other in the rest of the season bc of their changing beliefs feel even more isolating. I thought s4 was bad for angst, but whew! also, no hugs this season, and almost no physical affection after the cancer arc except for small moments in “the red and the black”, “all souls”, “folie a deux”, and “the end”.

writing: vince gilligan is a god!!! though he (and tim minear) had a tiny flop with “kitsunegari”. I also love his attention to continuity by having mulder wear a bandage on his finger in “folie a deux”, it makes it even darker when you consider mulder was ~this close~ to dying probably not even a week apart...no wonder he’s so grumpy lmao. I also was very impressed with john shiban in “the pine bluff variant” considering I normally can’t stand his solo writing episodes (like “teso dos bichos” is thee worst episode of the series i’m sorry)

directing: I miss rob bowman :(( but “kill switch” and “the pine bluff variant” were absolute VIBES and I can’t wait for FTF. the non manners/bowman direction was mostly fine, but the only other directors that stuck out to me were chris carter for “the post modern prometheus” and “the red and the black” (where he was imitating bowman i think) and r.w. goodwin for “the end”. also lots of close up shots of mulder’s eyes this season! big fan!

hair: great hair from both of them, and the most consistent (probably bc of FTF) early s4 scully hair and s1/s3 mulder hair is still my favorite tho lol

favorite episodes: Redux II, Detour, Christmas Carol/Emily, Kill Switch, Bad Blood, The Pine Bluff Variant, Folie a Deux, The End

70% worth rewatching imo (surprising bc there were a lot of episodes I LOVED but there was a lot of filler too, probably bc of FTF filming)

individual episode reactions under the cut:

Redux- good, but very exposition heavy

Redux II- literally being shot in the chest would be less painful. Amazing.

Unusual Suspects- Lone Gunman origin story. No Scully :(

Detour- thee quintessential x files episode. iconique.

The Post Modern Prometheus- great gowns, beautiful gowns. Bad story.

Christmas Carol- ahhhh :(((( Scully looks hot tho, and love Melissa reappearance 

Emily- Scully :(((((( 

Kitsunegari-  kind of dumb and unnecessary, pusher is perfect without it :/

Schizogeny- okay Lorax killer trees episode…boring

Chinga- fun lil stephen king vibes™️ episode, bored weekend mulder is hilarious

Kill Switch- Scully is bisexual confirmed, vibes>>>>

Bad Blood- one of the funniest episode of the series methinks. obsessed.

Patient X- yikes…mulder is kind of an asshole? role reversal

The Red and the Black- unintentionally hilarious? but also deeply sad

Travelers-boring, almost no M/S, but Mulder was randomly married???

Mind’s Eye- mehhhhh

All Souls- decent, scully catholicism episode

The Pine Bluff Variant- yooooo!! really good and suspenseful!

Folie a Deux- Vince Gilligan has done it again!!!!

The End- screammm so good

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

There are SIX SONGS in the season finale?? Let's goooo

[jehanjoltaires]

Haha wow apparently all it takes to get my inspiration back for writing is a man who activates my praise kink mid battle and a spicy dream

[daz4i]

wait so chuuya has angel imagery about him in stormbringer. and dazai is referred to as a demon on more than one occasion. and. hold on. wait. I'm going insane. hold on.

[dragon-tamer-1]

Aftermare Week 2024

Day2(6): Destroy(ed)/(Re)Building

Geno was hanging upside-down from the Tree of Feelings, just above where Nightmare was. Nightmare was reading a book he got from the library. Nightmare's thoughts wandered, he couldn't help but think on how the last year went. The villagers, particularly the ones who were very hostile to him, were starting to actually give him a chance. He can't help but to believe that Geno arriving here was the cause of it, though it took a while for this to happen. They still bullied and hurt him after Geno showed up, but Geno had started protecting him. Something that Dream never-... No, it wasn't Dream's fault. Dream didn't know it was happening, or at least didn't know the extent of it. He wished he said something before, now, as things were getting better with both Geno and Dream advocating for the villagers to stop abusing him(he wasn't sure if that's what he'd call it, but Geno insisted that's what they were doing to him). He's incredibly grateful for Geno, even if he went and told Dream after the last time the bad villagers attacked him when he didn't want him to. He couldn't deny that it felt better to have his brother know about it now, though, not after the results that came afterwards.

The villagers no longer unofficially banned him from entering the village with or without his brother(they never said he wasn't allowed but the way they treated him pretty much implied it), some of them were still wary of him, but they were starting to warm up to him it seems. Some of them even apologized for not helping him sooner, they were some of the ones who weren't mean to him, though they never helped much before, if they knew at all. He certainly didn't want to dwell on how many people might not have known what was happening to him, or who knew what was happening and didn't care.

Overall, it's only been good ever since Geno arrived, they even started dating a month ago. Geno still misses his brother, but he's been happy here.

Noticing the position of the sun as being roughly noon, Nightmare was about to ask if Geno wanted to grab a bite to eat for lunch. But before he did, there seemed to be a sudden flash of light. And as soon as the light faded and he could see again, there was what he could only describe as a tear in the air beside Geno. He immediately dropped the book as he jumped up, and Geno, still partially blinded, falls off the branch trying to right himself. Just as Nightmare was about to catch him, the tear started to drag Geno in. He grabs Geno's scarf in one hand and tries to reach for his hand or something to try to keep him from going through the tear. Neither of them know what's on the other side, and they don't want to find out.

Unfortunately, it was not enough. Geno was pulled through, but not before his scarf was pulled from his neck, leaving Nightmare with only his scarf. Nightmare and Geno had one last look at each other, tears in their eyes as they realized this was the last time they'd see each other and horror at what was happening, then the tear in space closed.

Nightmare clutched the scarf as he broke down, and soon after rain clouds have gathered. Dream returned after it started pouring and as soon as he saw how distraught his brother was he ran to him. He nearly slipped on the grass, but caught himself. He noticed Geno was nowhere in sight but his priority is his brother right now.

"Brother, what's wrong? Are you ok? Are you hurt? Where's Geno, I don't see him? Wait, is that his-"

"He- he's gone, he's gone and I-I couldn't- I couldn't *hic* save him. He- I-..."

"Brother, Night, please, slow down. You have to breath, okay? What happened? Geno's gone?"

He took a few deep breaths, and tried to explain what happened, having to pause between sobs. Dream started crying along with him as what happened sank in. Geno, his brother's partner, his friend, the one who ultimately helped both of them in different ways, was gone. He protected his brother when he was unable to, even when he wanted to so bad, but didn't want to pressure his brother when he didn't want to talk to him about what was happening with the villagers. He helped him set firmer boundaries with the villagers, not letting them overwork him like they were, and in the end he and Nightmare were feeling closer than before now that they weren't keeping things from each other. All they could do in this moment was mourn Geno, as they hugged each other in the pouring rain.

~meanwhile~

Geno landed on the other side of the tear very disoriented. Upon trying to stand he noticed that everything was dark, an almost unfamiliar type of dark. He also noticed the familiar glitching over his right eye socket. Then a small presence ran up to him on his blind side and almost knocked him over.

"Agh! What the- Frisk!?"

"You were gone for so long, where were you!?"

"I-"

"Wait, you're crying, are you okay? What happened?"

"Woa-"

"You're not hurt, are you? Where's your scarf?"

"Stop!! What do you care, anyway!?"

"... I'm sorry. I was just... I'll go."

Frisk left to the only patch of grass in the Save Screen, though they were still worried about him. He was gone for so long, and they had no idea what happened to him. They wanted so bad to comfort him right now, as much as they knew that they probably weren't who he wanted near him. They did a lot to him, so they knew he wouldn't trust them. But he's clearly going through something right now.

Some time later, Geno had gotten up, but still felt defeated. So he was back in the Save Screen, huh? Was this what he deserves? Is this the karma he deserves for not protecting Papyrus that first Genocide route? Doomed to be stuck here with the kid who started it all? To do nothing but watch as Chara continues to Reset and do whatever they want? Is he really not allowed to be happy? Even once?

He shakes these thoughts out of his head for now, he can have another mental/emotional breakdown later. He looks over to Frisk, and regrets what he said earlier. As much as he wants to stay mad at them, his year with Nightmare and his brother Dream has given him a lot of time to process and think over what he's been through, and also think about Frisk and their ability to Reset. He can't help but think how the power could have made it too easy to want to do things again and again. He doesn't think he can forgive them yet, but he can certainly be a bit kinder to them.

He walks over to them and moves to sit beside them.

"Hey, I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. You didn't deserve that."

Frisk, surprised, just stared at him for a moment. "What?"

"You didn't deserve to be yelled at for worrying about me. I shouldn't have said that. I was, am still dealing with another loss I just had. To answer your earlier questions, I had been transported to some other world very different than ours. One that seemed to have humans and monsters getting along, well, for the most part. And there were two brothers I met there, they were called Dream and Nightmare. They helped to take care of me, even when I was... stubborn. The reason for me crying was because I had been forcibly taken from there when I had been there for a year and had grown pretty close with the two, especially one of the brothers, Nightmare. I helped them as well, Nightmare was being abused by the villagers there because of a stupid assumption or rumor that they thought was fact. Put a stop to that nonsense, and also got the two brothers to start telling each other these things."

Frisk let him talk about all that happened, and couldn't help but feel both happy and sad for Geno. It seemed like he was able to be happy where he ended up, but the fact he had been dragged back here..., it was so unfair.

Eventually, they both started talking about how they could maybe fix their situation without actually destroying the timeline like Geno was initially planning to do. His time with Dream and Nightmare had given him time to think about what he would've even accomplished by doing so, and how unfair it was to everyone else that he decided their fate for them. So he had decided that he would figure something else out if he was able to come back on his own. Except that was when he was kinda wanting to go back to Papyrus more than hanging out with the brothers.

"Okay, so what can we do about Chara? I think we both can agree they can't be allowed to keep killing everyone."

"Yeah, what about still bringing them here? But I don't know what we could do after that."

"That's a start, at least. Let's see what Sans is up to."

As he says this, he opens up a window to where Sans is, after a moment to remember how he did it in the first place. The window shows Sans in the Judgement Hall, and observing for a while longer reveals that Chara is back to killing the entire Underground. 'Seriously? How many times has this gone on since he was gone? Don't they get bored of doing this over and over?'

There's nothing left to do but wait, Geno remembers that it's easiest to get Sans here while he's unconscious or a Reset happens. And soon enough, Sans gets hit, dies, and then the Reset happens. Geno snaps his fingers, and Sans is in the Save Screen.

Sans was confused, where was he? As he turns around, he remembers where this is. It's been a long time since he was here, and he was starting to worry about Geno with how long it's been without him summoning him into the Save Screen. And, wait, where is his scarf? And last he remembers, he wasn't fond of Frisk, yet he seems to be rather chill with them.

"Heya, been a long time, huh?"

"Yeah, it has been a while, sorry for disapperin' on ya, there was apparently an unplanned vacation I was sent on."

"What? I thought you couldn't leave this place?"

"I thought so too, but whatever it was that transported me there also made it so I was fine. I don't really know how that worked. But then after I had been comfortable there, I was transported back here, and for all I know, I'm still not able to leave here without dying. But, enough about that for now. I wanted to talk to you about how we can stop Chara."

Sans let out a disappointed sigh, "if this is about destroying our timeline, it's still a no."

"Oh, no, no it's not that, actually. Though I guess it can still be a backup if we really can't solve this a different way-"

Frisk decided to speak up, "We're not destroying our timeline, Geno."

"So then, what was this new plan?"

"There isn't much of a fully thought out plan, but first step is to bring Chara here. But we don't know what step two would be because I don't know how we can stop them completely."

"Ah, so we're just brainstorming things, then?"

"Pretty much."

"Hm, well, what if..."

~Timeskip to after the events of Aftertale happen and Geno is on the Surface with everyone(I'm lazy and have to progress to the rest of the story without this basically retelling all of the climax of Aftertale. Just pretend that the end of Aftertale had this kind of background with Geno not attacking Sans after getting Chara and Papyrus into the Save Screen. Also I'm just leaving this in here cause why not XD)~

Geno looked out at the sunset atop Papyrus' shoulders. He can't say that he regrets anything he's done, aside from making things harder on Sans. It's all worth it to see Papyrus again, and knowing that there won't be anymore Resets is very reassuring to him. And this view, as much as he's seen it before, is probably one of the most beautiful sights he's seen of the Surface. It's no view from that hill of the large flower field in the moonlight in the other world he spent a year in, though.

... He misses Nightmare and Dream. He can't help but wonder what they'd think of this. Surely they miss him, too.

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT, NEW BROTHER? YOU LOOK A LITTLE SAD."

"Oh, it's nothing. I just miss a couple of people is all. You remember the story I told you about the two brothers in the other world I was in?"

"OH, YES. I MAY NOT KNOW WHO THEY ARE, BUT I KNOW THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU. I'M SURE YOU'LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN SOMEDAY, I JUST KNOW IT!"

"Heh, I'm not sure about that, but I sure hope so."

"NYEHEH!"

As time went by, Geno grew accustomed to life on the Surface alongside his two brothers, Sans and Papyrus. But even as he was happy to finally be by Papyrus' side, he couldn't deny that he missed Nightmare terribly, sometimes to the point he refused to leave his room. He was starting to wonder how he could visit that world. To go back there. The urge to see Nightmare and Dream again only grew as time went on.

So, after a year and a half on the Surface, he starts testing out the limits of his Determination. After all, Determination had kept him from dying and also got him into the Save Screen, so why wouldn't it be able to transport him to a different world? He had to try it or he would never know. So he's in the basement experimenting with Determination, and he mixes an unstable sample of Determination with a stable sample. It has the unfortunate reaction of destabilizing completely and explodes in a blast of piercing white light.

When he next gains consciousness, the only thing he sees is white, blindingly white nothing. He immediately squeezes his eyes shut, trying to adjust his eyelights to his new and unfamiliar surroundings. "Where am I? How...?" Squinting his eyes open a bit, he slowly realizes he isn't having aftereffects from the blast earlier, but that this is indeed a white void. Completely different than the Save Screen, and yet somehow just as lonely.

"Hello? Is anyone out there!?" He listened as his voice echoed in the space, how big was it? The echoes kept bouncing between invisible walls and only faded about a minute later, was it a minute? It must have been, surely. He tests the "floor," and finds that he's definitely on something solid. And starts wandering in what he thinks is a straight line, hoping to find some kind of, well, anything really.

~Timeskip, Geno is now Error, and doesn't remember anything prior to becoming Error~

It's been four years since Geno had disappeared, and while he still misses him, things are alright. Nightmare and his brother, Dream, now had a proper house near their Tree. Some of the villagers even helped build it with them. It has three bedrooms, one for Dream, one for Nightmare, and a guest bedroom. Though both of them knew the real reason they insisted it had three bedrooms, it was for Geno should he by some miracle come back to them. They knew that, by now, it was less and less likely to happen. Dream had been trying to be positive about the possibility, but even he had doubts, and Nightmare knew that. Nightmare was inconsolable for nearly a month after Geno's disappearance. He also started avoiding the villagers again for a while, too, anxious that they would start going back to how they treated him before Geno was there.

Thankfully, the villagers understood that he was going through a very hard time, and gave him space. Some had also gifted him little treats and notes to try to help comfort him, most were given through Dream though, but there were a few occasions that someone was able to give their gift to him in person. It took a while for Nightmare to get used to the idea that the villagers wouldn't hurt him and put his anxieties to rest on that. He's always seen wearing Geno's scarf, too, it brings him some comfort.

Today was a nice day, the sun was out and it was warm, but not unbearably so. Dream was out entertaining the village children while he was taking a walk and hearing out a villager's issues and trying to help them to solve/deal with them. It was going well before a portal opened up a few feet behind them. Nightmare turned to it and froze. It was like the tear that took Geno away.

Turning back to the villager, he said, "I think we're going to have to talk later, I have to deal with this." The villager nodded and ran off.

The portal was blocky and didn't hold a solid shape, shifting and also had a strange sound coming from it. As he was studying this portal's strangeness, someone came through it! It closed behind them, and the strange sound faded, but didn'tstop. It seemed to also come from the stranger. Looking at the new stranger, they looked so odd, even for a monster. Their bones were black, oh- wait, their fingers were yellow and red, and so was what he could see of their spine. And the legs are also red it seems- Wait, stop staring, it's rude. And they were wearing a red sweater with a midnight blue jacket and black shorts and... black slippers? Actually, no, that's not the weirdest thing someone can wear, and even then, it's not really a problem. The weirdest thing was that their entire figure looked like they were... not fully together?? Their figure had square chunks of them jumping in and out of their body, and the word 'Error' was randomly placed along their body.

He was going to ask them their name and what they wanted when he noticed that they were looking frantically around them, visibly distressed and on the verge of a panic attack. He saw the signs, and having had panic attacks before, knows how to deal with it. He was just going to have to hope that what helped him out of those panic attacks would help this person.

"Hey, it's okay, here, breathe in, two, three, four, hold it in for five seconds, and breathe out for six. Ready?"

He helped the stranger through the panic attack, and thankfully they're now calm. Both of them are now sitting in the grass, Nightmare had guided the other down so that if they were to pass out they wouldn't fall from standing up. They were currently looking at the grass like they had never seen grass before, so that concerned him a bit. The sound seems quieter.

He cleared his throat before speaking, "Uh, hey, how are you doing? Feeling any better?"

They looked up at him, "Y-Yeah, I'm feelin-ng better now, tha-thank you-u. You look v-very ni-ice. Very colorfu-ful."

Nightmare, caught off guard, felt his face heat up. "U-uh, thanks? You're pretty colorful yourself."

"You look kinda-a familiar for some re-reason, but you're the f-first person I've me-met. So I don't kn-ow why I would recogn-nize you."

"I do? That does sound odd, huh? Ah! I had forgotten about introductions. I'm Nightmare, what's your name?"

"Oh, I'm, uhh-uh..." He squinted his eyes in thought as he tried to remember his name. "... Error, that'ssss it. Yeah, my na-name is Err-ror."

"It's nice to meet you, Error. Where did you come from? You were pretty freaked out when you got here."

"I'm n-not too sure? I don't know w-what the place is-s-s, but there's ju-ust, nothing in there? Hold-d-d on I think I can open a port-tal back there? I'm pretty new t-to this though..."

Error concentrates before waving a hand through the air in front of them, and the strange noise that's been there gets stronger again. The portal opens, and Nightmare can only see white. He can't see anything else in there, and looking for a while is starting to hurt his eyelights.

"Is that really what it looks like? It's just white. How long have you been in there?"

"Yeah, it's pre-retty barren, b-but it's kinda al-l I know? I thi-ink? I don't rememb-er anything else bef-fore I woke up there. And I-I don't know how long-ng I've been there, it just felt li-i-ike a very long time? Or was it a short tim-me? I'm not sure..." He closed the portal again.

"Would you like to stay here? We have a spare guest room you can stay in. My brother wouldn't mind you staying as you get used to this place if you do stick around. It's better than white nothing, right?"

"Hmm-mm, I guess I cou-ld. There's s-s-so many colors her-ere, it's... nice, I thin-nk."

Nightmare thought that last statement was a bit odd, but then again, the guy was in an empty white void, for lack of better terms, for however long he was in there. Colors would be a bit of an adjustment to someone who was devoid of most colors.

"Alright, let me guide you there, then. I'm going to have to tell Dream about this. I think you'll like him."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's good at making friends. I'm getting the hang of it, but still like to not be around too many people at once. It's this way."

Nightmare waved him over, leading him back to his and Dream's home. On the way back Nightmare couldn't help but think about how Geno first appeared. It's rather odd how two different people managed to arrive in this place from somewhere completely foreign to him. It couldn't be related, right? No, it's just a coincidence.

Soon enough, they arrived. 'Oh, looks like Dream returned from the village early. Better for us, I can tell him everything now than wait until he gets home later.' Nightmare waved at Dream, who waved back.

Dream had fun with the villagers' children, but had decided to head back for the day. Once getting back, he realized his brother hadn't returned yet, so he went to get some food ready. He was still learning to cook from Saphire, the village's tavern cook, so it was going to be sandwiches for today. She was nice, and had offered to teach both of the brothers as a way to help them have their own means of providing food for themselves. It was so that neither Dream nor Nightmare had to rely on the villagers' generosity to avoid any possible future issues that came from any of the villagers taking advantage of them.

After making a couple sandwiches, he went outside to wait for Nightmare. He decided to busy himself with tending the flowers in their front garden. A few minutes later, he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye, and knew instantly it was Nightmare. Looking over to the forest, he saw Nightmare with a new person. He waved back at Nightmare after he waved, but was intrigued by the new person following him.

As they approached, Dream noticed more details about the new guy, including his strange appearance. He seemed rather relaxed before he saw him, but now seemed nervous. He also kept looking around at everything, almost like seeing the world for the first time.

"Hi, brother! Who might this be? Make a new friend?"

"Hi, Dream, this is Error. Error, this is my brother, Dream. He just appeared out of a portal a little while ago. He came from some kind of white void? And I offered for him to stay here instead of wherever that place was. I don't know much about the place, but I can't help but feel like that isn't a good place to live long-term. It's okay if he stays, right?"

Dream blinked in surprise, that was not what he expected, but quickly agreed. "Of course he can stay! Oh, I made some sandwiches, I should make a few more, I hope you like them!" And he ran into the house to make a few more sandwiches, leaving Nightmare and Error outside.

"Is he a-always that energeti-tic?"

"Most times, yeah. Is it too much for you? I can let him know to calm down a bit. He's just excited to meet someone new, is all."

"N-No, I think it's alri-right. Reminds me of-f...." Error pauses, trying to think of what Dream reminded him of.

"... You alright?" Nightmare asked, concerned.

"Hm? Oh, yea-ah, just thought that y-your brother reminded m-e-e of someone, but I don't r-remem-mber who. It's fine, though. Wh-What are these 'sandw-wiches' that he was talking abou-out?"

"Oh, it's a kind of food that consists of different ingredients that is put between two slices of bread, or sandwiched."

"Oh, that's kin-n-nd of cool. I'll try-y them, then."

Nightmare and Error entered the house, and while Dream was making more sandwiches, Nightmare showed their new guest the spare bedroom and pointed out his and Dream's rooms and let him know that if he needs anything at night, he's welcome to let either of them know. Nightmare just hoped that if Geno does show up again somehow, by whatever miracle, he wouldn't mind him giving Error the room he hoped would be Geno's.

He fidgeted with Geno's scarf later, after they had all eaten their fill of sandwiches. Though he will admit Error's method of eating was... unexpected(why did he have five tongues??). But it was a nice early dinner. It had surprised him just how late it was when he brought Error back, though, it didn't seem like it took that long. And there's still the question of what that strange sound that seems to be ever-present around Error. Something he'll have to ask another time.

So this is it! It is done! Ok, there are a couple of ideas I played around with in this. First, Dream and Nightmare have a very slight effect on the weather, if Nightmare and/or Dream are very distraught, it will be cloudy and possibly start raining. If either or both of them are very happy, it will be more sunny, but not hot. The other idea is that the Multiverse is not on a universal timer. A lot of AUs go at different speeds, and it's kinda rare to find any two AUs that are both the same speed and are at the same time of day as each other. And the Anti-Void is already known to be outside of any of that and fluctuates in time.

@bluepallilworld @shinechermont

The only thing I couldn't decide at first was if Error was already able to leave the Anti-Void before coming to Dreamtale, or if it's the first time he's left the Anti-Void. Ultimately, I decided to go the route of him first leaving the Anti-Void into Dreamtale. He will go back every now and then and explore the Multiverse from here, but he will always come back here. He won't realize that the reason is that he subconsciously knows this place was a home to him before he became Error, but that will happen in time.

Also this would have been posted on day 2 if I finished everything on time, but it's now in a kinda limbo where it's both on time but also late XD

[intertexts]

gggh.

[welcometoteyvat]

arlecchino's official title is "father" when house of hearth members refer to her ......... please just one chance please please

[caramelmochacrow]

Photon Maiden's selection album, 4 Un Voyage, finally released!! Let's go!!!

Here are the songs in order:

FriendShip

4 Challenges (ver. 2023)

We Never Stop (ver. 2023)

Hikari (ver. 2024)

Akatsuki (fruits mix ver. 2024)

OVERCOME (ver. 2023)

Linked Ring (ver. 2023)

Collector

24 (ver. 2024)

Into the storm (ver. 2024)

Be with the world (ver. 2023)

Photon Melodies (ver. 2023)

Begin Again

Platinum (Saki Solo cover)

Dear My Friend (Ibuki Solo cover)

Fansa (Towa Solo Cover)

Let The Show Begin (Noa Solo cover)

Your Love ♡

Happy Happy Friend (Cutopia cover)

Kawaikute Gomen (Cutopia cover)

Photon Melodies (TAKU INOUE Remix ver. 2025)

[ichorblossoms]

nothing coherent happening but the ttw cast has been on my mental doorstep today. hi

[snekdood]

i think im allowed to assume someones consuming their kinks in a harmful-to-others way if I have first hand experience with them sexually abusing me, personally.

[todayisafridaynight]

No but that's kind of what I was talking about a couple days ago because like… I really do feel "jealousy" is such a small part even of how Mine feels about Kiryu, let alone of his motivations. So I Guess Instead Of The Tattoo Essay You Get This 💀💀💀

But like his chief concern is not that Daigo feels strongly about him, but that he feels SO strongly about him that his interference with the resort deal can and has endangered lives, including Daigo's own. Like, it's not only that purposefully putting his men in danger for a controversial figure like Kiryu would be bad for Daigo's reputation if it got out, but at least one person has died. Daigo was only ever going to send more men to their deaths, because Kiryu's worth it to him, and he got almost-kidnapped and shot over it.

And it's all for the sake of Kiryu Not Just Taking The L And Moving Somewhere Else With The Kids. That's what I think Mine is getting at with his comments on Kiryu's "hypocrisy": in cutting all ties to the yakuza abruptly to try and do something good with his life, he's also abandoned his responsibilities and is living in almost willful ignorance of the shitstorm his mistakes and his stubbornness lead to, right up until it lands on his doorstep.

In the Okinawa character story, Mine has a moment of genuinely understanding what Kiryu and Daigo are trying to do, and that Kiryu values Daigo's efforts even if he's not aware of the lengths he goes to. That's part of what changes his mind on Kiryu when he came to Okinawa with the intention of killing him.

But when Daigo's shot, he can't bring himself to think Daigo brought it upon himself by interfering, or to look at it neutrally, so even that understanding becomes twisted as he has no one to blame but Kiryu. Kiryu is, after all, the reason Daigo interfered in the first place.

And because he's the CEO of projection and he himself was so easily won over by Kiryu in Okinawa, he thinks that if Kiryu topples the remaining officers, his charisma could carry him to the Seventh Chairman's seat unopposed, permanently. Of course, he's not considering that Kiryu wouldn't even want to do that; kind of like Aoki thinking Arakawa is gunning for the chairman's seat, I guess.

So in his mind, the stakes are incredibly high. Because Kiryu's return would mean neither Daigo nor Mine (believing himself to be the only person capable of carrying out Daigo's will) could be chairman. To Mine, the Tojo Clan is and should remain "The Sixth Chairman's Tojo Clan," so for the chairmanship to go to the man who (in his view) landed Daigo in this coma would be unacceptable.

If he's going into his first proper meeting with Kiryu with that mindset, it's really no wonder that it takes very little for him to actively see Kiryu as his enemy and go to the lengths he does in the finale to provoke him into a decisive battle. Dude was spiraling.

And I think that's the heart of it, because if you really interrogate Mine's perspective, you could honestly make a pretty convincing argument that what we're looking at isn't even jealousy. It reads AS jealousy to the audience and to Kiryu because he sounds like he's mad about Daigo liking him period. But as I've said, it's not actually because Daigo likes Kiryu and not Mine/more than Mine, it's because he likes him despite how often and how badly it comes back to bite him. We just don't get that context until RGGO, and Kiryu never gets that context period.

Which is not quite to say he doesn't, at least subconsciously, want to be liked by Daigo as much as Daigo likes Kiryu. I think it's incredibly incredibly notable that Mine has this fascination towards the people Daigo holds in high regard, and he's initially just curious about what kind of man Kiryu must be for Daigo to like him so much.

You see this play out directly with Mine overhearing Daigo's old friend call him Daigo-san and then, when Daigo tells him not to call him chairman in public (kind of like Shinada on the plane lol), opting to call him Daigo-san too. He could've just gone with Dojima like most people would and Daigo'd be cool with it, but he chose to emulate Daigo's friend, because that's how he wants Daigo to see him.

Huge part of that character story is the way Mine agonizes about not being as close as the term "oath brother" would suggest (especially after being abandoned by Kanda whereas Daigo took a bullet for him). So I can see his curiosity being like, this is another guy Daigo likes, is there perhaps anything about him I could emulate for Daigo to like me more…? Answer's No, but still.

Understanding people is kind of a big deal to Mine, I think. That is, of course, why he joined the Tojo Clan: to understand what makes Daigo tick, and to understand what would make his men want to die for him. So when his attempts to understand Kiryu are frustrated, that seems to get under his skin like almost nothing else. Because I notice that's when he really loses it in the finale, when Kiryu starts talking to him like he understands him while he still doesn't understand Kiryu.

Kiryu is the biggest threat to Daigo in Mine's eyes and it vexes him that he'll never understand why that's even the case. It's completely irrational to him, and because he's never really had family, he'll never really get why this sort of thing is almost second nature between family members who are that close.

About that, On The Lowest Of Keys and to be 100% thorough, I guess it's also a possibility Mine may have misinterpreted their relationship as romantic. Because Daigo goes on and on about how the Tojo is family to him and how Mine's family to him, so for Kiryu to be more than family in a way he can't explain sounds insane.

If you don't specifically know that Daigo means Kiryu has been more of a parent to him than anyone that could be considered his "real" family (i.e. Sohei and Yayoi). And. You know. Daigo doesn't Explain That Part. Not that he has to, but when you're dealing with the CEO of projection...

At the very least, Mine uses horeru for what he thinks Daigo feels for Kiryu in 3, so I just have a feeling he didn't get the memo on, Well, Anything. Perhaps fair enough on his part because 3 came out before a lot of that was explicitly fleshed out but GIRLLL STOPPP

And despite the nuclear levels of secondhand embarrassment that comes with this scenario, it's also… kind of funny. I'll say it. It would be kind of funny. It's like in 0 where Majima thinks one of the girls is going on a date and gets super protective but it actually turns out to just be her dad (massive grain of salt on this I hardly remember 0 so it might not have happened), or even in 3 where Kiryu thinks Haruka's got a boyfriend. Like why is Mine actually kind of dumb it's so endearing

But yeah no that's like… the only real avenue I can see Mine appearing to be jealous, but even then it's tenuous. I can't really make any definitive statements about it, as we've seen. I think at most it's just like, when you think your crush's ex (In Your Mind) is no good for them but they keep defending them; maybe some of that resentment is rooted in your own feelings, but it's also not unfounded. You know. I think Mine's always been a character whose methods and conclusions are much more questionable than his motivations.

YMMV on nearly everything I've said, but I just feel like… leaning into the jealousy aspect is the easy way out. It's easy to understand. You can say that and be done with it without writing over a thousand words (SORRY </3) to back up your point. But I (obviously) think there's so much more complexity to it, and jealousy is almost a fraction of a fraction of it, to me. It may be more time-consuming to examine the rest, but it's worth it.

But also admittedly biased because 95% of what I've seen the fandom do with the premise of Mine being jealous just isn't that appealing to me. I'm sure some would say I'm woobifying him or something here lmao

im getting the most intense feeling of deja vu and i do not know why but anyways.

in the short and sweet of it, i do think the bulk of mines feelings towards kiryu can be explained via their first meeting. his grievances can be quickly summed up through him calling kiryu a 'hypocrite' in that he thinks he can take care of one family while abandoning another and acting as though he can go back and forth however much he wants (and this can be highlighted with how many times mine refers to other people- i.e. hamazaki and the orphans- as kiryu's 'victims')

like a part of it could be jealousy but as you said it's not the main feeling- it's a fraction of a bigger thing and mine's own personal issues

[eggmeralda]

I wish there was a way you could put like. every song in the world on shuffle

[thegreatyin]

upon reflection several months later i have to admit. bg3 doesn't have the greatest story ever. but is it still really good and really enjoyable and really top tier? hell yeah brother

[clementiens]

.

[britneyshakespeare]

i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.

the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.

and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.

when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.

i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.

i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!

because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?

in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.

like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.

i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.

and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.

i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.

i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.

i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.

but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.

that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.