#idk how to tag this so if you don't want to see it you won't have to see it

[radioactiverats]

HII HIIII!! I just wanted to say I love your writing so much 😭😭 especially mentor!starscream x reader!!

i have a question—in future chapters, will we possibly get to see starscream getting jealous? SORRY IF THIS IS A SILLY QUESTION!!

again, love your art!!! ❤️❤️

Hello!!! Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a message! <33

I think we're inevitably going to get jealous Starscream, I feel like that would be so fun to think about considering how possessive and protective he gets haha... The bond just hits different when they just have each other to rely on, sharing a space goes beyond physical cos this little world of two feels safe, which goes a long way in the Deceptions, so having something challenge that when he's really invested would be tasty >:)

For how jealous and jealous over whom, if I may humbly offer this prev ask for a little bit of "Starscream introduces you to his trine and Skywarp immediately chooses to poke the bear with a stick" in the meantime (tagging system who? 🥲). Skywarp def teases Starscream all the time over his soft spot for you, but as much as you like the others, the trine knows that Starscream was here first. Your bond is different and it's something that's just accepted/they don't intend to touch. So it's funny when he gets all prickly at teasing, but it's no direct threat. I'm wondering tho... Since the timelines are sort of thrown out the window anyway... If young seekers idolised (like football trading cards sorta??) some super powerful or famous seekers... Starscream among them, as Air Commander, but also... Sunstorm? I've sort of caught snippets about him being Starscream's "brother" in a way, near identical save for the... Idk how to put it... But Starscream cringing away from him feels like being confronted with a better, more preferable version of yourself and suddenly becoming hyper aware of the parts in your soul that are rotten. Canonically, he replaced Starscream as well... So seeker!reader's reaction to a visit from Sunstorm would probably provoke some interesting reactions from Starscream >:') That would def feel like a direct challenge to him. He's also such an overthinker but lack of "friends" means he doesn't really have anyone to put things into perspective for him (okay maybe Knockout would say something) and he can't let others know he's spiraling over not being your favourite. Lmao I want to see it happen (files this away to the drafts)

Now I'm also wondering about the opposite... Is it just because I want Starscream to reassure me that we are special to him and he won't ditch us for someone else hahaha no... I shan't say...

Ended up going off on a tangent.. thank you for giving me an opportunity to yammer on about Starscream some more (holding him up and gesticulating wildly)

[noise-misato-boy-destroyer]

when i see u and other transfems who are cool and hot it makes me want to kill myself because i dont know how to be like that and idk what to do about it

i know you'll say shit like 'oh just strive to be the person u wanna be/be yourself/estrogen' etcb ut it doesnt feel like enough

Okay sooooo unfortunately for us broken dolls even getting to where I am won't make those thoughts go away, I still deal with them constantly because there's always a doll out there that'll give you that much dysphoria and gender envy and also life is terrifying but I promise promise promise it's light years better than anything I ever went through pretransition.

I couldn't act like myself in the beginning either because until you get like six months in you may not know who you even are yet, personally I emulated a bunch of girls I looked up to until I found myself n then as it turns out I wasn't too different from them to begin with. There's gonna be struggling, there's gonna be tears, you're gonna wonder why you did this and if it was even worth. This isn't easy by any definition of the word even under the best circumstances, but it's so far beyond anything I could have dreamed that I can't imagine going back. Again, it WILL be hard, there's just no way around that. I think of it like a pact with the devil; there will be a price but the rewards... Oh babygirl the rewards are worth every dysphoric sob session and every second guess and then some.

Don't get discouraged looking at dolls like me either because literally you can just be one, all the makeup looks you need are on here, all the fashion inspo, the community, the attitudes. Girl you're literally at the gender store right now, what looks good to you? I had a bunch of dolls tagged with like a fashion inspo tag for months before I finally took my first steps and that really helped me to find who I wanted to be.

Oh and estrogen will absolutely drive you crazy btw especially if you're already in this mental state, those first six months are a nightmare lowkey. I wouldn't have been able to transition without the support of the community on here.

People aren't just shitposting when they talk about how we're capable of anything. You gotta give yourself more credit <3

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[w1lmutt]

Thing is, it doesn't matter if Tomura isn't dead and will be brought back in the future or not. To me, the way his character had been utilized for the story since the end of the first war arc is goddamn awful

[necrotic-nephilim]

do you ship helena bertinelli with anyone? if yes, then which characters and why? what's your favorite helena ship? do you have any helena rarepairs? (i know you've talked about helena/steph and you're so right about it, it's a very interesting ship)

!!!! i have so many ships for my best girl ever yes oh my god thank you for asking.

my top pairing is probably Vic Sage/the Question. Vic is the basic answer, but man. i love them so much. no couple has matched each other's freak like that have. Justice League Unlimited is a great adaptation of Helena in general, but it also did a great adaptation of Helena and Vic's relationship. how he just dedicates himself to helping her with no expected return, but also wants to make sure she doesn't go too far in a hunt for vengeance that never ends for her. i think a lot of characters often want to change Helena or expect things out of her for their own needs, like the Batfam and the BoP. but Vic is one of the few people who just wants her to be better for her own good. when he tries to stop her from killing it's not because of his morals, it's because he doesn't want this crusade to consume her. and i just. man i think about them a lot. Helena rlly likes weird little men who give themselves wholly to her.

Zinda Blake/Lady Blackhawk is also a top ship for me. tbh i just like Zinda. but i do love how Helena and Zinda interact, being the more rough and tumble members of the BoP. they're both outsiders, in different ways. Helena is an outsider of the Batfam and Zinda is literally from a different time and an outsider to the current world. their friendship is so genuine and i think if Babs and Dinah can have. whatever homoerotic nonsense going on during BoP, then Zinda and Helena deserve some homoerotic nonsense too. as a treat.

if we're willing to count New-52 Helena, then i enjoy Helena/Dick/Tiger. i think Helena and Dick being a past relationship is really important in pre-Flashpoint for Helena's development, though i don't ship them as a serious couple beyond a fling. but in the New-52, i think this throuple be fun. Helena and Tiger respect each other as two very driven, no-nonsense agents and then well. they both clearly have some kind of thing for Dick. so it's fun finding the balance of how they could all work together romantically.

and ofc. it's a crime to mention Helena ships and not mention Renee Montoya/the Question. every time they interact it's really fucking gay. it's so gay that Kate Kane, Renee's own ex, assumed Helena and Renee were gay. i cannot be convinced against this ship. i genuinely think this ship should be canon. i mean. DC did tease us with this moment from an alternate universe and it's lived rent for me since. fucking criminal for us to only get one panel of what we could have if DC let Helena be a fruit in the main universe. being in love with Helena Bertinelli should be a right of passage for the Question mantle, i personally believe. if you asked me like. genuinely who i want to see Helena date in the current comics, Renee is my top pick. (i would say Vic but he's fucking dead and the New-52 butchered him so rip my mans-)

lois lane (2019) #10

besides those ships, just about every ship for Helena probably falls into the category of rarepair. like you said i've talked about my love for Helena/Steph before bc god. i think it should be a thing more people ship. once i finish the fic i'm writing about them i will convince others to like it.

i also think Helena/Cass could be fun. in a *lot* of ways Helena and Cass are narrative parallels to each other. Helena was a victim of her family being murdered at about the same age Cass was forced to be a murderer. Helena grows up to believe in lethal justice because of this, and Cass grows up to be staunchly against it. Cass' Batgirl suit was made *by* Helena. they both want to be protectors of the most vulnerable people. they balance each other out in a lot of ways and i think they should kiss about it.

also probably a rarepair, i think Helena/Lady Shiva is fun. their fight during Birds of Prey (2010) had... questionable moments for Helena's characterization, but i do love so much that Helena knocks Shiva off her feet and gains a deep respect from Shiva. like. Shiva gives her a nickname and shows her admiration. i would like to see fanfic where Shiva continues to be weirdly admirable of Helena and bothering her non-stop. they could be a fun fucked up toxic yuri moment. this is just. so gay to me.

birds of prey (2010) #6

my most rare Helena pair would probably be Helena Wayne, actually. but specifically Helena Wayne of JSA (2022). ever since, for some reason, it was made canon that the current Helena Wayne was named after Helena Bertinelli and took the name Huntress to honor her i *cannot* stop thinking about them meeting. because in-universe it makes *no* fucking sense for Bruce to name his kid after *Helena Bertinelli*, someone he's regularly at odds with and doesn't like. it's clearly an awkward explanation to try to make the whole two Huntress situation make sense. (it's almost as bad as Helena Wayne in the New-52 using Helena Bertinelli as an alias.) but because it's such an odd choice, i do think it could be fun for Helena Wayne, when she's back in time to see Bruce, to find Helena Bertinelli to get to know the woman she was named after and Helena Bertinelli just being. baffled by the idea of *Batman* naming his kid after her. it could be a fun fucked up moment.

my other super rarepair is Kara Zor-L/Power Girl. they had like. one meaningful interaction of JSA Classified and it's been PLAGUING me. something about when Power Girl doesn't remember her past and she's seeking a friend, she instinctively goes to find Huntress? but it's wrong bc this isn't *her* Huntress and neither of them understand why Power Girl would seek Helena out? god it's so good. i'm always a big fan of ships where one person in the ship is *so* obviously using the other person as a replacement for someone they lost and they both know it. it's such a doomed angsty thing where you could play with Helena actually really liking Kara, but knowing that she's just a replacement for Kara's Helena Wayne. good fucked up shit man.

and lastly: i really ship her with Dawn Granger/Dove. there's no canon basis for this, they didn't have a ton of interactions even when they were both on the BoP. but there's a very kind innocence to Dawn that contrasts Helena's violence really well. and i do love a ship with a corruption kink vibe to it. let Helena corrupt Dawn. i could write such fucked up porn about these two.

[imminent-danger-came]

I don't understand the lego ninjago movie

[iwakuraz]

it's not going too well

[zipquips]

feeling incredibly unprepared for my med appointment today

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[byanyan]

being friends with byan is so weird bc they say they want you to have the balls to be bluntly honest with them, but then the very moment you're honest about something they don't like, they're peacing out, all "lmao ok friendship ended byeeeee"

[formulaonedirection]

i just got round to actually reading the press conference transcript everyone's been lambasting lando for. ignoring the misquote of "He’s never done that in his life. So that's the only thing that Lewis hasn't done that I HAVE in Formula 1." (literal joke about he and mclaren being shite lmao), the other point of his point about lewis complaining... isn't just isolated to him talking about lewis and merc's performance.

see the following quote, from quite literally the same press conference:

"But I think there are still some things from a handling side of it that I would like to be improved. But it's tough. You're always going to be complaining, which is the thing, like Max was complaining yesterday. I’ve never seen him complain so much. Today, it's mega. It comes and goes in little things but even if your car is a lot quicker, you're still going to have some issues here and there."

like... the guy was talking about himself complaining, about VER complaining. the guy just likes to use the word 'complain'.

i'm in tears 😭😭

Friend I didn't want to leave you hanging but I'm truly sick to death of the #landiscourse because simply at the end of the day people will give grace to the people they like and believe the worst about people they hate. Like I get the impetus to defend him but you can show this to anyone that hates Lando and they'll still be able to take his words in bad faith because that's what they want to do. And it's okay! Because it's such a losing battle trying to convince people who don't want to be convinced so I'm so ready to expand my energies elsewhere. But if anyone ever feels like ranting about Lando hate please feel free in my DMs I'm here to commiserate dw I FEEL IT TOO!!!! I just don't really want to answer 75 asks about the same issue because I like to scroll my own blog and having it on here is such a clog bleh

[bandzboy]

no way i am seeing people saying that stream sniping is not cheating or basically a form of cheating because the stream is public and it's there for everyone to see so it's the streamer's fault like my brother in christ if you need to stream snipe to rank up and win and think it's justifiable to stream snipe because the stream is public then idk what to tell you

[alltimefail-sims]

Sooooo round walls are buggy as heck?! There's no way the the Sims team isn't aware of this.

Worst part is that their asses are going to try and sell the medieval kit people voted on even though round walls are quintessential to those builds and they do. not. work!!!!

[coulsonlives]

.

[egg2k16]

This may be the depression speaking + the earliest trauma I've ever gone thru (completely accidental as well), but I think it's kinda pointless to give me gifts. I have clothes that still fit me and are in excellent condition. I have shoes. I have a sizeable movie collection (that tbf I can always add to), and all the books I'd want. I don't paint anymore so it's useless giving me art supplies. And unfortunately even giving me money is hilariously pointless bcus I'm not even gonna spend it on anything, I'm just gonna put it into my savings account and keep living day by day as I do: doing nothing...interesting

[homosexualcitron]

the way i should leave tumblr forever zz