#idk how to cope with being bi

[hauntedbythenarrative]

.

(a lot of tmi in the tags, just saying)

[williamvapespeare]

"every day i'm fucking smiling;" a rant (cogent, intellectual character study) about Charles

We all know that Charles Rowland is THE character of all time. Obviously. Undisputedly (except by Netflix) blabla. I, a mixed race bisexual idiot with daddy issues, am about to fucking get into it.

I think there are a lot of ways to get into that end of ep 4 scene – I think we can look from trauma, we can look from model minority syndrome, we can look from a place of people pleasing to the extreme, but I think the best way to get into Charles (for me, personally) is to look at him as a character formed of intersections. Of in-betweens. In literally EVERY way possible, he is between things. He’s mixed race, he’s (probably) bisexual, he’s between life and death, he’s between good and bad, he’s probably sitting somewhere between trauma and healing – like, he’s CONstantly engaging in coping mechanisms and that itself is an in between.

Ok this idea of “I must be liked” very obviously will come from living a life where the opposite of not being liked is always violence, and that definitely can’t be understated. But I think this whole scene and this line in particular really speak to this very specific feeling that comes with inhabiting an identity that is ALWAYS seen as “not enough” in some way. Like, if you sit in a place where you don’t speak one side of your family’s language well enough and simultaneously aren’t white enough (or whatever enough) for the other side, you’re just like fundamentally culture-less and fighting to just be ANYTHING.

(Another GREAT example of this I think is the game Life is Strange 2, which is about two Hispanic American brothers, one of them speaks Spanish and the other one is much younger and doesn’t and there’s a bit where the younger brother doesn’t want to leave the US and says “I don’t even speak Spanish” and the other one is like “don’t worry, everyone likes you.” Like YES being “““Likeable””” is maybe the only way in when you are so fundamentally detached from a thing that you are also fundamentally part of, anyway!!)

Similarly, like all of us bisexual people know we’re constantly getting shit from both sides, from straight people and gay people and probably like, corpses decomposing in the ground who are throwing around terms like “gold star lesbian” or whatever the fuck. People just look at whatever relationship you’re in and they’re like ah yep that’s you!!

Like the whole thing is the most reductive narrow-minded stupidity, but it’s also just THE WAY. It’s the way of stuff. And being like ok, I AM NOT ENOUGH OF ANYTHING THAT I AM. How are you going to deal with that, you’re going to try and be likeable?? Because that’s something you can control!!!

And I’m low key so mad that we can’t see a continuation of this story where we get to see a character slowly come to terms with these in-betweennesses and say like, I’m not actually two halves, I’m two wholes. This is intentional in-betweenness. Like yes, blabla let the boy be bi, but it’s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. And I trust this show and I trust these writers to get that right and we were robbed of that.

So yeah idk tldr “every day I’m fucking smiling” was like the gut punch of the century. Whoever wrote that I’m omw to haunt your local Denny’s with my extroverted mixed race bisexual energy THANK U

[drdemonprince]

Re: what do dominant people need to recover after a harder-kink session?

Biggest things that helped me were taking some time afterwards to sit together, talk with her about what she had or hadn't enjoyed, just some reassurance that she knew I respected her IRL and that I only was willing to manhandle her in various ways because it turned her on, that I wouldn't ever purposefully do anything that she wasn't ok with, and so on. Basically just trying to get back into that soft/loving/protective mode, rather than rough/aggressive/etc

TBH, it's been a long time since I've had kinky sex, or any sex so I don't know what might help the best at this life point.

Something that I'm a bit nervous about wrt aftercare is having her confirm that she enjoyed it and wanted whatever we did to happen, but me going on some kind of shame spiral of worrying that she's just doing a fawn response and saying that because she wants to reassure me.

My current solution for that is that I'm just pretty tight about what types of harder kinks I'm willing to do at all, even if the woman says she wants it and enjoys it. Even if I might sexually enjoy certain types of CNC, for example, I kinda don't feel mentally/emotionally comfortable acting that kind of scenario out. Ignoring "no's" or getting really physically threatening, even as a LARP, are just things where I don't know if I can explore them in a way that won't make me feel like a bad person.

-------------------------

Had an experience of this type that I had early in my sexual career and which went really badly, but idk if it's the kind of thing that you really talk about on here.

cliff notes: haphazardly established cnc, it was her idea, but I thought it'd be hot in the heat of the moment, she got really really into it and horny for it, I (man in the aggressor role) tapped out once it started feeling kinda real, I had a huge emotional crisis, we had a giant fight about it. It was not a fun weekend. We were too young and bad at communicating for that kind of thing, but also too horny and dumb to not try it. Rough combo.

Mostly just funny to try to explain to people that I was roleplaying the aggressor, and I was also the one of the two of us who had a panic attack.

--------------------

TBH, I had a lot of problems as a young guy with feeling guilt over how my sexual urges were bad or dirty in some way due to my libido being directed towards women.

I'd managed to internalize a really dysfunctional blend of messages about sexuality, growing up in a liberal family in a very conservative state. Like, when I was a teenager I felt guilty about things as benign as "liking doggy style", "enjoying receiving blowjobs", and "fantasizing about getting with two bi girls". The latter was a fantasy that I had like one time as a teen boy, and I felt so guilty about objectifying bi women that I was almost sick to my stomach. I was a weird teenager.

I did develop some kinks that are probably coping mechanisms or ways to avoid the guilt of being sexually forward, now that I think of it, as well as the anxiety of needing to make sure she's enjoying it.

While I am dominant-leaning I'm very much into being begged for stuff. The more I can trick her into begging for what she wants, and directing the encounter as the bottom, the better. Saves my attention and focus for doing a good job of getting us both off rather than having to decide what's gonna happen next.

Never understood the hate for submissive women who "top from the bottom", it's incredibly erotic to me.

omggg anon you sound like such a sweetie with such hot fuckin kinks that you also are so wound up about. understandably so of course. here are some of my thoughts.

"worrying that she's just doing a fawn response and saying that because she wants to reassure me"

I think you can get around this fear by being open-ended in the feedback that you request from subs. So, for instance, you can tell subs that one thing that you need as a form of aftercare and ongoing negotiation is for them to give you a reflection of their experience a day or some days afterward. This can happen in a conversation or via them keeping a journal or something similar. Ask them to describe what they liked, what they'd like to see go differently, what they want more of. This will get you a lot of feedback that is reassuring without you specifically having to ask for reassurance and feel like you're manipulating the conversation in some way.

I think once you have established a really good rapport with a sub and can communicate with them effectively (and TRUST them to tell you when things aren't working for them), then you can say, straight up "I feel like an awful person sometimes after doing CNC/etc, can you check in the next day to tell me you're doing okay and that I'm not evil?" Or whatever else you might need.

I get you very much about the gender political baggage that comes with wanting to be a Dominant man with woman partners... from the opposite side of things. One barrier to fully enjoying my kinks pre-transition was that I considered it totally socially unacceptable to be a "weak woman." I wasn't even especially feminist, it was more about not being taken advantage of and being worthless. I came from a cultural mileu in which women were expected to be strong and capable and practical, and in academia, women were similarly pretty no-frills and had to appear confident. I felt like being too passive would be unattractive or make me less human, almost. One way to get around this was transitioning. It was really a hell of a hack for this. I don't feel bad about being a passive hole getting used anymore, and I don't have to worry much about the motives behind my partner's Dominance... they're not seeing me as a gender stereotype of a woman anymore and so i'm freed of all that. For cishet couples, I think affirming one's shared feminist values etc is helpful for everyone involved, and clarifying that these roles are not inherent they are chosen.

My current dog handler/mommy interestingly needs a partner to beg for their cum before they can bust a nut inside someone. I don't know if it is for similar feminist/consent hesitation reasons because they're pretty good at letting loose on me otherwise, but they've articulated to me that it's a thing that they need. This was initially a challenge because we do pup play and I become really obedient and nonverbal. But we have found ways for me to signal to them that I want what they are doing and that i want more of it.

So for example, a few nights ago after they were really whaling on me for a couple hours, they stopped and said I'd been a really good puppy and they were going to give me a break. But I didn't want a break. I wanted them to cum in me. So when they rolled me onto my side, still inside me, I started wriggling against their dick and licking their hands and whimpering for more, which made them get really hard again and then they fucked the shit out of me for another 15-20 minutes before spraying a load way up in me. It was incredibly hot and tender.

Wanting your subs to beg for treatment from you is a great way of working with your anxieties and making an ongoing consent affirmation into a hot activity and another act of submission on their part. It's a great move. There's a few other things you can do as well when that fails. For example, when my Dom/mommy thinks that I might be getting too headspacey and zoned out of being fucked they will ask me to fuck them -- they'll stop moving and i have to hump at their dick and take it in as deep as I can get it myself. That shows that I'm still alert, motivated, and interested as hell in whats happening. just a really fun hot way to check in and get reassurance without breaking scene. I'm sure there's so many other options.

I hope you get to have fun out there with the kinky bisexual topping from the bottom women of your dreams!

[vashvana]

Ideas I’ve had for Dun Meshi modern au:

- Plot revolves around the characters bonding over weekly D&D sessions, as well cooking (duh) as well as their day-to-day shenanigans

Laios:

-cooking and d&d/fantasy obsession

-roommates with Falin

-dropped out of CC

-D&D sessions hosted at their place

-gets a job as a janitor for senshi’s restaurant, learns to cook with him overtime

-him and falin are definitely from some Midwestern state I feel

-def queer, maybe pan, doesn’t really think about it too deeply



Marcille:

-biochemist major or sum, in uni, lives on campus

-def an RA

-went into the field because death and illness has followed her her whole life, so it’s a projection kind of thing

-childhood friends with falin of course

-Is popular but in the way that she just feels the need to help everyone and overlooks her own well-being/can’t see through when people are just using her or don’t care

-learns to love the sessions, hates them for being “weird and lame” at first (she’s def a nerd herself what is she on)

-from cali

-bi or lesbian… to choose or to not to choose…

Falin:

-probably doubling some kind double stem degree, in the same uni as Marcille

-fell ill a couple years ago to some unknown illness, doesn’t really have the money to get further treatment, barely hanging on with affording uni

-somewhat ostracized/pitied at school because her illness is well-known

- 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Senshi:

-runs his own small restaurant (besides Laios it’s literally just him and izutsumi cat)

-immigrant (idk, what we feelin on his ethnicity?)

-probably gay

-always cooks for their weekly sessions, probably starts making meals catered towards their stories just for fun (thistle hates to admit it, but he loves this)



Thistle:

-the dungeon master for their sessions, of course

-adopted by freinag, but freinag died while he was still young, so it fell on delgal’s shoulders to raise him

-maybe delgal introduced him to d&d as a coping mechanism after freinag died

-delgal is in his waning days, too, probably, teaching at the uni

-he asked marcille and falin to let thistle play d&d with them, he doesn’t have many friends

-marcille was hesitant and never was really into fantasy stuff, but Fallin accepted, so she went along with it

-highly picky about how the sessions go, but learns to ease up overtime as he gets closer to everybody

-trans, autistic

-the sessions kind of work as therapy for him- he is highly intelligent, but has behavioral problems in school

-if delgal croaks at some point, marcille and falin would probably take care of him, and he’d stay at the Touden apartment

Chilchuck:

-regular at Senshi’s, has been his buddy for a long time

-construction worker or something

-union boss

-in terms of his wife and kids, it’s pretty much exactly the same… 😭

Kabru:

-some hotshot architect turned manager / overseer for chilchuck’s construction company, oversees the designs and stuff

-union buster ngl

-has growing feud with chilchuck, is invited into the sessions at some point and slowly learns to be more humble

- yk 👨‍❤️‍👨

Western Elves:

-The ceo’s of the construction company, Kabru’s superiors

The Golden Lion:

-university chancellor (keeping him AWAY from that boy in this au)

Izutsumi:

-cat :)



[sparklearchive]

Doomi Info (is that what you can call this?? idk)

Developing feelings for Uni is how Doom realized he was bi (and he's actually still a little unsure of his identity, he knows he's definitely not straight though!!!) and Uni is the first person he's ever had really serious feelings for and their situation makes that really hard to cope with

Uni is the only patient that's ever even remotely nice to Doom, explaining why Doom developed those feelings in the first place (aside from Uni just being so lovable and cute in general with his adorable smile!!!!) and Caroline criticizes him for being nice to Doom when he's like, really an asshole to everybody (and of course because of the other reasons why Caroline doesn't like the staff, specifically the doctors and "honorary" doctors like him)

Doom is only mean to Uni sometimes because 1. He has to be and 2. He doesn't want his feelings to show through at all to anyone, ESPECIALLY not Cuddles. Mood and Rem are the only people who know about those feelings. It's kind of his way of guarding himself (and protecting Uni) even if he feels so guilty about it and doesn't like doing it

(warning this one is EXTREMELY cute) Doom used to draw as a kid but gave up on it but when he started working there and saw that Uni was a really good artist he felt inspired to try to learn to draw again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 he wants to practice enough so that he'd feel confident sharing his art with Uni but he doesn't think he's good enough yet so he only shares it with Mood

[fanganfessions]

I wish Kinjo X Teruya was more popular... I understand why it isn't, considering the events of SDRA2, but like. That personally just made me like it more. They're so tragic... Idk, like. Two people who went through hell together and formed an unshakable bond bcuz of that. One forms an insane idolization for the other, while the one he idolizes treats emotions like a burden to be avoided & as a result only sees the person who admires him so deeply as a colleague... If he stopped being a little bitch and opened his heart, it could be so good for both of them, but alas. This is just how he copes with the trauma, it's the only way he can feel safe. He can't allow himself to Feel or to Care, that's too dangerous AND THEN THERE'S THE OMAKE MODE... Kinjo finally unable to run from & suppress his grief. He has a whole screaming crying breakdown over the consequences of his actions and then fucking. RESIGNS. And leaves. He can't be found, odds are he took his life, past trends indicate that that's how he deals with these sorts of situations They just. Make me so sick. I love them

I fw TeruRei too btw, this ain't a competition. Teruya is a bi king in my eyes

⠀

[ggswaywardgifrepository]

Hear me out: Bi-Han is the Lin Kuei equivalent of a gifted child. (I adore him and vibe with so much of his baggage, so please don’t perceive this as an insult.)

I’m truly not sure how Kuai Liang being a pyromancer in this verse aligns, when his and Bi-Han's family were, in previous timelines, cryomancers. Is he an anomaly? Was one of his parents a pyromancer and the other a cryomancer and he inherited one power while Bi-Han got the other? Was it a long dormant affinity he has? Is he the first?

Anyway.

No matter how that is explained, I still see Bi-Han as someone who exhibited extraordinary skill at a very, very young age. This, coupled with the expectations of him as the Grandmaster’s firstborn, set him up for such a fall. He just strikes me as someone who never learned coping skills, because there was a time in his life where nobody believed he'd ever need them.

And unlike his brothers, he doesn't use physical weapons. He clearly could, but every 'weapon' he wields is one conjured of his own magic. (He def wants his hands on Sento, though... He has multiple dialogues where he says so.) He's obviously undergone intense training since he was very little and is a deadly physical fighter, but his cryomancy is what makes him HIM. What makes him SUPERIOR, in his mind.

Once Kuai Liang came into his own powers (especially if they were unique) and once Tomas was brought in and taught the clan’s ways and became very powerful in his own right…

It just became harder and harder for Bi-Han to maintain that edge and attitude. And as one who might not have had to struggle during his formative years, at least not where cryomancy was concerned, he’d be so lost. (And I headcanon that his father abused him, and just him, so please don't think I'm saying Bi-Han was great at freezing shit = Bi-Han had an easy upbringing.)

He’d worry he had already peaked and was being eclipsed and no one around him knew how to help.

Again, I’m a massive Bi-Han apologist but I just see where so many people he should’ve been able to rely upon failed him.

And now he’s like, “Man, fuck you all. You had your chance.”

Idk. Former “gifted kid” who grew up in an abusive home projecting here. 🤣🤣🤣

[destinygoldenstar]

🌟All Three Of My Queens SLAY The Game Together🌟 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 3 Episode 9 “Slip & Sly”

I wish this turned out better. This drawing is ass.

But in my defense: I tried to draw Riya, and then my computer restarted on its own. So I LOST EVERYTHING.

So instead I changed it to "Why don't I draw her and Alec?" And then I put it off cause it was three in the morning yesterday. And when I woke up, MY COMPUTER HAD RESTARTED AGAIN.

This time I didn't lose it, but I lost the layers I was losing so they all merged before I was ready.

And now you got this.

My computer must hate Riya or something. It did not want her on the screen XD

"What? Your device doesn't like my showing? I will have my face on every computer! I'm so stunning I that the monitor can't handle me!!"

NO RIYA I WANT TO DRAW YOU JUSTICE

Maybe later I'll do another Riya drawing.

Idk I think these two being friends is really nice. I didn't expect it, but I'm here for it.

Why is Alec being friends with Riya when he's the one who told Connor she's a toxic person and she'll only hurt them?

My interpretation, and this could be wrong, it's because Alec views himself as toxic, so to cope he'd rather surround himself with toxic people than someone as friendly as Connor. He's the one who made this alliance after all. And he ruined his relationship with his wife and child, to the point where he willingly sided with a child with clear issues and enabled her.

And Riya relishes in her shitty behavior, because it is that behavior that has given her success when being herself failed.

So it's like "Hey, I'm a bad person, you're a bad person. Let's be bad people together!"

That's how I see it anyway. I could watch them bully Yul all day :)

"Why is Alec wearing a vest when he's not in the show?"

Because I miss his vest. That vest was an iconic part of his Season 1 design. WHY WOULD YOU REMOVE IT?!

Yeah I get it, he's a drunk and a mess. I don't care.

Anyway, enjoy the reaction!

"Ladies, ladies, you're both pretty!"

Krystal bi confirmed?!

"Trevor or Derek?"

"That red haired girl."

"Mostly bonding through their mutual hatred of Yul."

We love to see it 😈

Well we didn't exactly go to space last time, but Oliver is sure as hell still dead after getting thrown out of a plane on a planet with gravity.

🎵Ba ba ba ba ba baaaaaaaa, ba ba baa ba baa baaaaaa-🎵

*Me bopping to the opening this time*

"Got the machete, Gabby?"

Don't trust HER with a machete. She will slay with it.

"She's obviously still angry at us."

Well, honestly, if my girlfriend was broke and needed the money and people who claimed to be my friends took the opportunity away from her, I would be angry too.

"Looks like another job for me."

Good luck with that /s

Pretty sure YOUR betrayal hurt the worst, Tess. At least she saw Tom and Aiden coming a mile away.

OH GEEZ

COME ON, why didn't you hand it to Tom?

STOP AIDEN ABUSE.

Though I will say, Aiden just like me fr

I'm very physically weak as well.

"You know what's a great retirement idea? Hawaii."

Hawaii is very bloody expensive, and you have to worry about volcanoes.

Also Hawaii has given me years of grief with someone I loved, so I don't appreciate it being brought up.

"I haven't felt this good since... uh, how long have we been here again?"

Oh.

Limelight overwhelming, Riya?

"My son's deathly afraid of sand."

Alec's son is Anakin Skywalker, confirmed.

"He stepped on broken glass in a sandbox once."

OOF.

Yeah that'll do it.

My Kindergarten school used to have a sandbox, but they got rid of it. I was too young to understand why.

I still don't know why, but I'm assuming.

"And so you helped him, right?"

"Nah, I was in the middle of a Charles Dickens novel."

BRO.

OH MY GOD?!??!

SO YOUR SON HURT HIMSELF AND YOU JUST SAT THERE?!?!

You know, a friend sent me a sims meme not too long ago, I'm not showing it, but it showed a baby on fire and the mom on the computer watching something. "Not now sweetie! Mom's in the middle of something."

It got a good laugh out of me.

BUT BRO DID THIS IN REAL LIFE.

"His scream didn't even register till about... uh... three more pages?"

WHAT. THE FUCK. AM I LISTENING TO?!

How the hell did Alec even conceive with his wife?

"I've noticed you don't have your books this time."

Didn't Krystal yeet them off the plane?

"Krystal made us leave them on the jet, remember?"

Yeah. I wasn't forgetting anything.

"If I had 'A Tale Of Two Cities' in my hand right now, this beach trip would've been divine."

Bro would be the type.

If he was a lifeguard, he would totally be the type to sit there distracted by his own abs, and completely ignore the five people in the ocean drowning to get his attention.

"Move over! It's my turn!"

OH FUCK OFF YUL, THIS WAS A NICE DAY UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP!

Also what are you doing with Kai's shirt?

Where'd you get that? Why do you have that?

Have you just had Kai's shirt under your pillow this whole time???

Hey Yul, are you sure you're not gay?

"I don't see your name on the chair!"

Yeah queen, defend your spot!

"Also Grett, here's a shirt."

Excuse me whyyyy?

"So when I kiss you, I can pretend it's Kai instead!"

"If I wanted to see saggy rolls, I'd be at Olive Garden."

SHE DOES NOT HAVE SAGGY ROLLS. AND SHE'D BE BEAUTIFUL EVEN IF SHE DID. FUCK YOU!

"I guess I was done anyway."

NO GRETT, you were having a good time!

Damn, Yul really ruined this nice moment, huh?

Why can't we go back to Alec's stories about how he neglected his child?

"You'll get burned, sweetie, I'm just going to rub some sunscreen on your back."

Yeah, it's basic sun protection??

"EW! I DON'T LIKE TANS!!"

"No thanks."

Okay.

I say just let him burn.

"I'd rather look like a sun dried tomato than be touched right now."

Wish granted.

I say just let him do that.

"Did I do something wrong, darling?"

No Grett.

Your biggest mistake was ever getting with him.

"Why are you being so rude? Am I not still your girlfriend?"

"And if you want to stay my girlfriend, then you'll leave when I count to three!"

Yul is a Dhar Mann villain fr.

I hate that Grett has been reduced to this. I really do.

I loved her in Season 1, but now she's just a punching bag for Yul to harass and body shame, and I hate it.

I feel like if this was Season 1 Grett, she would take absolutely none of this crap and talk back.

YES!

I LOVE YOU RIYA!!!

YES TAKE GRETT OUTTA THERE!

Strangely, this is the NICEST thing Riya has done this whole season so far.

I would love for Riya and Grett to be friends. I don't think it would last long, but I'd love to see it.

Since, you know, I love them both.

"Pfft, women right?"

Women are queens, Yul. Get it right.

"Even though I'm no longer interested in tricking my fans about my relationship with Grett, I still need her to believe that we're a thing."

Why?

The whole reason you were dating her was to get yourself un-cancelled. It had nothing to do with the game.

Riya and Alec still hate you, even if you weren't dating Grett.

Oh whatever. This is Yul we're talking about.

"You're a real disappointment, you know that?"

Oof.

Riya saying what I'm saying though.

"Come on, have some backbone and put him in his place, okay? Why are you letting him walk all over you?"

YES!

Riya playing this off as tough is also interesting.

"I don't care about your well being Grett, BUT IF I DID, come on, you're being abused right now and you can't let him push you around."

"I don't want to fight him Riya. What if he leaves me?"

Ouch...

I felt that.

I don't like fighting people either, for that same reason.

"So? What's wrong with being single?"

"I don't want to be alone."

Oh, Grett... 💔

"You can't have men like that holding you back!"

"He's all I have."

Okay, ignoring it's Yul for a second, you know that feeling Riya, right? I know you do. I've seen Season 2.

"What happened to you? I used to look up to you when I watched Season 1. You didn't take a shit from anyone!"

OOOH!

RIYA WAS A GRETT STAN?!?!

HEYO, THAT'S KINDA BASED THAT THIS IS CANON. OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT. 👑

This ALSO makes Riya turning to the dark side in Season 2 have yet another layer to it. She isn't from here. She would obviously take the malicious behavior at face value and see that as a viable option.

GODDAMN, I LOVE YOU BOTH.

"And now... look at you. Just another scared, wounded gazelle."

It is sad, isn't it?

But also, in all seriousness, Grett's situation is a lot different from yours.

For Riya, it's about success. For Grett, it's about other people's perception of her. That's what Grett cares about. Riya ditched that when it didn't work, so she wouldn't be able to process this.

"I'm not that intense when the cameras are off."

Oh?

"I played up the attitude to protect myself."

Oh, really?

Oh I can see that, actually.

"Protect yourself? From what?"

"From my own failures catching up to me."

Yeah cause she's always being compared and told she's not good enough.

"Your own failures? How could you even say that?! Look at you!"

Not Riya praising Grett!!

Oh my god I love this. For both of them.

"Everyday since Season 1, I felt like I was living a lie. Selling products I never cared for. Making friends who don't even remember my name. Sometimes I look in the mirror, and I can't even tell who I am anymore."

💔

MY HEART.

SO THAT'S WHY SHE'S WITH YUL, CAUSE SHE'S TRAPPED IN THAT CYCLE OF A FRAUD AND DOESN'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO GO...

GRETT, HONEY 💔

I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU FLANDERIZED EARLIER, I LOVE YOU!!!

"That was until I met Yul."

"And he was an asshole, but I was too, so I had nowhere else to go."

"He made me feel like I didn't need to be something I wasn't."

And... I'm 50/50 again.

1, holy shit that just got very personal to my own life, even if I don't consider my ex toxic. But I still relate to that so thoroughly. I see where she's coming from.

But also, I find it very hard to believe she would see any resemblance of good in Yul. We have NEVER been shown a SHRED of decency of Yul's character this entire show. At best, he... has an arm around her sometimes.

So we are being TOLD Yul is more complex. But we are NEVER SHOWN THIS.

Do I fault Grett's character or Yul's character?

Yul, of course.

If this is what his writing is supposed to come off as, it's shit.

"Wow... you truly are hopeless."

XD

DAMN, RIYA.

I'm with you, BUT DAMN.

THAT'S A RUTHLESS WAY OF PUTTING IT.

"Look, I'll make this simple for you. Next time Yul talks to you like that, you say something or I will. And trust me, I won't go easy."

I also love this scene for Riya.

Cause STRANGELY, that is the NICEST THING she's done for someone this season so far.

But the WAY she is saying it is so tough and hard shelled that it's like she doesn't want to stand the vulnerability of herself, or Grett.

"I don't care about your well being. BUT IF I DID, I'm going to ensure it if you won't do it yourself."

WE STAN BOTH OF THESE GIRLS IN THIS HOUSEHOLD.👑

"I know what Riya is saying is right. In a world like this, you have to have some ruthless skin."

Exactly. That's why Riya is telling you this cause she learned that.

The industry is so cruel and demanding. It's draining.

"So I get why he acts the way he does."

Yul?

Because in Yul's case, it's the opposite. He's carelessly a pig.

"I'm not going to get involved in you and Grett's personal life, but consider that treating Grett like garbage isn't the smartest game move."

TELL HIM OFF.

"This is as nice as I get."

Points for honesty I guess.

"If you want to be alone-"

"No. I don't want to be alone."

Oh Gabby ❤️

"But when I'm alone, I have these negative thoughts, and I start talking to myself."

Oh yeah she has that bipolar thing!

Sorry if that came out offensive.

But like, in Season 1, she had this thing where she was literally talking to an imaginary version of herself in order to cope and calm down.

We have NOT seen that in THIS season, yet!

It actually STOPPED HAPPENING when ELLIE became a part of her life officially!

SO WHEN ELLIE LEAVES, SHE'S ON A WITHDRAW OF HER SANITY SO SHE RELAPSES-

I GET IT.

SHE'S HAVING A RELAPSE EPISODE.

I'm not a bipolar expert though, so let me know if this is accurate or no.

I have a gut feeling it's not.

"It's not schizophrenia."

Yeah, I don't think so either....?

Right?

*looks it up*

Okay I'm not an expert. It sounds like it could be possible though.

I know this gets misconceived as 'dangerous and crazy'. But that's not what it is. It's a brain's distortion of reality.

"I just like being positive, but part of me keeps urging vengeful thoughts."

Yeah, it SOUNDS like they're de-confirming this though.

Was this like, a major head canon in the DC fandom about Gabby before All Stars came out? And the writers just decided to de-confirm it being true?

"When Ellie isn't around to comfort me, it comes out."

Yeah... I see that.

My ex was just like that. So...

GODDAMN, STOP REMINDING ME OF MY OWN LIFE DISVENTURE CAMP!

Okay somebody answer this cause they're beating around the bush in the show. Is it ever confirmed that Gabby is schizophrenic? Or them saying it's not true? From any source? Whether it's a writers Q&A or whatever.

"I have no idea what you're going through, but I'm here."

Says the lady who took her away from her.

Tess, I love you, but for the love of god stop acting like you're innocent.

"Don't give me that, you're the reason Ellie isn't here anymore."

OH YEAH.

YEAH SHE TOOK THAT PERSONALLY, TESS.

I think Tess did the right thing for Ellie. STILL.

"We could have fixed things with her, and she needs that money, probably more than anyone here."

THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

"She would've gotten worse if we let her stay."

You know what? I feel like Tess is talking out of experience here.

She canonically has depression. They never said she was cured. And she got her antidepressants thrown in a firepit, so she would've gotten so much worse if she stayed longer than she did.

So she decided to leave that season with as much of a positive note as she possibly could.

And look at her now, she's doing better for herself.

"I just want Ellie to be happy."

"I do too, but Ellie can rest now."

They're both right.

That's what hurts.

This is NOT a black and white issue.

There was no 'right' answer for this situation.

Both girls just did what they thought was best.

"You'll see her again. Keep fighting. For her sake."

YES!!

GABBY FOR THE WIN!!!

Gabby is SO winning this season. Just you watch me be right.

"And if that voice comes back, quiet it and talk to me instead."

Uuuuuuuuuhhh-I don't think that's gonna help...

Maybe that works for you, Tess. But that doesn't work for Gabby.

You're not the same.

"How do you expect me to not take Ellie leaving as an attack?!"

WOOF.

That's all I gotta say.

Tess. I think you're done.

"You still thinking about Tom, huh?"

GET OVER IT.

XD

This show got me saying that, oh my god.

I GET IT. IT HURTS. BUT YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN AND MOVE ON.

"I guess this is just a big fat reality check."

Yep.

At least he acknowledges it.

"I know I'm a lot."

Yeah.

"I want to change, Ashley, but... I just feel so lost."

❤️

JAKE I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE THAT YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THIS

I'M NOT READY FOR YOU TO GO

I know his elimination is coming VERY SOON, but I'm not ready! I want him to at least find a good path first!

Also I have been there so many times. I relate to that way too hard.

"I'm no therapist, but I could try."

You might as well be EVERYONE'S therapist.

Ashley is the ONE perfectly sane and stable person in this whole cast. It's kinda sad.

I mean I guess we could add Tess to that too.

"Sometimes... when I feel cornered, I just lash out."

He used to be just like me fr

And I kinda relapse sometimes and resort to that now too.

"Do you think you can keep an eye on me?"

Good idea.

But also, you're asking Ashley to be your helicopter parent.

"I GOT MY EYE ON YOU, JAKE!"

"I'm just standing here."

"And don't you run off!"

"I am not doing anything-"

"Shut it and eat your apples!"

"I'm-"

"SHUT IT. STEP ONE OF BEING BETTER: LEARN WHEN TO SHUT YOUR TRAP."

"...WELL FUCK YOU-"

"AND WE DON'T CUSS AT THIS FAMILY DINNER TABLE!"

Just don't let Jake say ANYTHING, and you'll be good.

Maybe don't watch him while he's sleeping though.

"Ashley, I prepared our bait, wanna go fishing?"

OOF, BAD TIMING GIRL.

"Not now Ally, we're trying to solve something important here, so please just give us some space, alright?"

I mean at least he's nicer about it than last time.

"Can't be more important than having breakfast."

Has Jake been eating? He didn't eat last episode. I'm concerned.

"Whatever, I'll go alone."

Okay. Bye.

She'll be right there, just give them a minute.

"Remember a few seconds ago when you told me to tell you when you say something wrong?"

What was wrong about that? He just asked her to wait a minute.

He didn't yell at her face or anything there. He wasn't even mean about it.

"Oh, was that one?"

"Bingo."

Oh geez.

"AND YOU FAILED STEP ONE!"

"This is going to be harder than I thought, Ashley."

It do be like that, man.

Jake getting a redemption arc fr? WAS NOT ON MY BINGO CARD AT ALL.

I thought he was just going to be this insufferable piece of shit and that's it.

"First part of solving a problem is admitting you have problem!"

FACTS.

"Jake reminds me of an NPC from 'Immortal Combat', always complaining about your fighting technique and messing with your controls. That's Jake! Except at least the NPC shuts up when you mute your console!"

OUCH. THAT'S A BIT HARSH.

Even if that's a bit funny too.

Also, ALWAYS?

ONE, he scolded you at breakfast once.

TWO, he broke the iPad.

That is the extent of Jake's wrongdoings towards Allyson. SO FAR. Maybe it does get worse.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I GET NOT LIKING HIM. But for the most part he's just not wanted to talk to you.

You act like he's actively out to bully you XD

"I miss James."

Aw, Aiden.

I don't, but I feel you.

"He's really great. Took awhile for me to see it though."

You know what? Fair enough.

You love each other. Go ahead and love each other.

"It was like a Hallmark movie!"

Okay XD

That sounds like an insult.

"You were very confident."

Uh...

"Only one of us can stay in the game and there's no way I can beat Riya."

"I got here because of Lake. I don't think I'll do well in the next stage."

SUUUUUURRRREEE... let's go with that. 👍 *in disbelief*

"James helped me find my confidence, especially when it came to my scars."

Oh ❤️

Wait is he talking about himself being trans?

"I was... pretty ashamed of them for a long time."

Oh, honey ❤️

I'm glad we're getting more context to this. I wanted that in Season 2 and it was just one conversation.

That also makes sense for his character.

"I know that all too well."

Oh Tom...

Yeah...

But he's more open now. He doesn't have the mask or the covers anymore.

"Mine are just reminders of failure."

Ouch. Tom. Don't talk about yourself like that.

"Not at all. They show perseverance through adversity."

Yeah, exactly.

"And I bet your boyfriend thinks they're sexy!"

Hehe, yeah. Probably. That's cute.

"What-oh uh, ye! He-he uh... loves them, uh..."

What?

He doesn't like them. Does he?

"You don't have a boyfriend, do you?"

HUH?!

WH-BUT I THOUGHT...

WHAT?

"Every time someone asks you about him you change the subject or literally run away."

Oh my god...

*buries face in arms and groans*

Did he fucking lie?

This whole GODDAMN TIME, I BELIEVED YOU.

YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD?!

I mean, I guess it's not out of character for Tom. He's a liar. His life revolves around him being a liar as a habit.

SO IT MAKES SENSE. I'M JUST PISSED.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!??!?!?!

I AM SUCH A DUMBASS!!!!

"Is it that obvious?"

The show is mocking me.

"Yeah Golden! You're a dumbass for not seeing this right away!"

"Let's just say it's a good thing you're a cop and not an actor."

He was also a spy.

Tom sucks at every job he does.

"Why did you lie?"

You can't see, but I am currently aiming a long fingernail at my computer screen at Tom's throat.

FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD! YOU ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM MAN?!?!?

WHY ARE YOU FUCKING UP YOUR LOVED ONES LIVES LIKE THIS?!??! HUH?!?!?!?!?! WHY??!?!??!?!

"I needed an easy out."

"And you needed that... why?"

Hold your fire, Golden. Hold your fire.

"Jake was the first person... I felt safe enough to show my face around since my... incident."

*hearing him out*

"Not a day goes by where I don't think of what could have been, but..."

"You don't want to get hurt again."

"I-I waited because I-I wanted to make sure I was ready, but... I'm not sure I ever will be."

"Don't say that-"

"I can't go through that again, Aiden. I just can't! It'll break me..."

…

*the fingernail is down*

(I took a five minute break to process)

...

What the fuck, man?

I can't hate Tom for this anymore.

I did not expect that answer. I'm gonna be honest.

I didn't expect for them to go that route.

Oh my god...

Okay, first of all, that it me very personally. In a good way, okay? I'm not offended or anything like that.

Just... I get it.

I understand.

Especially for TOM, who had been through some REALLY traumatic stuff, not only done to his face, but also being deemed a failure for it by so many people.

He had no social life prior to Disventure Camp. If he did he never mentioned any friends or family. He sucks at his jobs, so he can't find himself and his place. And then that failure doing literal permanent damage? Yeah.

You wouldn't know what to do with your life, or your anxiety, or the expectation that everything you touch fails. Cause that's all that has ever happened.

Then you meet this guy who had genuinely changed you for the better, and unknowingly broke that cycle my having you lose the job that tore you up, he loved you and you loved him and he assured you that you were indeed good enough.

AND THEN THAT CORE RELATIONSHIP GETS SABOTAGED.

Of course he went back to the mindset of "I'm the worst. I'm not good enough. Everyone is better off without me."

Even if he has gotten better at opening up to others and being his authentic self, he STILL hates himself.

He's been hating himself this whole time.

He wasn't lashing out at Jake, HE WAS LASHING OUT AT HIMSELF.

This whole time I just assumed "Oh he has a fancy new job now and new clothes and he's being more open. His life is so obviously all better."

WHEN IT'S NOT. HE'S NOT BETTER. HE KNOWS IT. HE DOESN'T WANT TO FAIL SOMEONE HE LOVES AGAIN.

Goddammit, this whole time I thought "Oh he obviously hates Jake!"

IT WAS NEVER THAT SIMPLE. I WANT TO PUNCH MY PAST SELF.

God, and to have your emotional baggage get you and Jake manipulated by malicious people AGAIN? THAT SUCKS.

THIS IS NOT ME EXCUSING THE GHOSTING BTW. I'M JUST EXPLAINING WHY THE CHARACTER DID IT. HE'S STILL IN THE WRONG.

Tom is short tempered. He is hostile. He is a liar. He does not think before he speaks. But also, why wouldn't he be after everything that had happened?

You can't just snap your fingers and put him in a cop suit, and his life is fixed.

But he has NOT resolved much about himself to trust himself to handle what he did. After Episode 6 with 'Born To Drive Me Crazy', he realized "Oh shit! I hurt this guy! But I don't know how to fix this!"

So he resorts to the old habits that have been encouraged all his life: Lie. Lie to stall time.

I feel like a moron for not considering Tom's POV more.

AND I'M A MASSIVE JAKE APOLOGIST, AND I DIDN'T CONSIDER ANOTHER FLAWED CHARACTER IS A FLAWED CHARACTER?!

I SHAME MYSELF.

Am I loving Tom now? ❤️

I mean I did before. But I might love Tom a lot more now.

YOU STILL HAVE TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY THOUGH.

The saddest part about this that I think Jake is going to be eliminated before they can work things out. It'll be "Too little too late".

Man, I did a complete 180, huh?

I went from "Yeah, they should move on, they're not meant to be."

To "OMG PLEASE FIX THINGS PLEASE MAKE IT RIGHT PLEASE BE HAPPY I LOVE BOTH OF YOU UUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH" ❤️

Being a TomJake shipper is going through the five stages of grief.

What is going on here?

Why are you eating a single carrot like that?

"I worked so damn hard to set this up for Yul, but fuck the girl who's trying to save his brand I guess."

OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

"Wouldn't giving Yul food be considered... cheating?"

Yeah, how dare you feed people.

I get it, but also that sounds WRONG out of context.

"We're supposed to be STARVING our contestants, for crying out loud! What's wrong with you?!"

"I'm going to tell you something, but you have to promise that you're not going to judge me for it."

"You know I can never promise that."

Fair enough.

At least she's honest.

"You were right. I think- I think I like Derek."

"Wow, I'm shocked..."

XD

I love her sarcasm.

"Why is everyone here gay and problematic? This is a mood."

"You think saying you're gay is something huge?"

As a lesbian, yeah. I can say such.

But I get it. Everyone here might as well be gay.

Except for Riya. And Grett. And Alec. And Connor. And Ashley. And Miriam. And obviously Fiore cause she's a child.

That's it! That's all the characters that are straight! THAT'S NOT EVEN HALF.

"Look what show we're on."

YEAH EXACTLY XD

Total Drama: "We're going to introduce our first openly gay character!"

Disventure Camp: "Hold My Beer."

"I always knew it was inside me, but I think seeing him with somebody else finally awoke my true feelings."

So basically, the writers pulled this ship out of their ass. Because it was not a thing that was even slightly hinted at in Season 1.

The amount of "I Don't Give A Fuck"s I can give right now.

"You should tell him."

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

I don't give a fuck.

"Hey campers! It's challenge time!"

Aw. I was really enjoying the conversations this episode.

WE ARE TWELVE MINUTES IN.

AND ONLY NOW IS THE CHALLENGE STARTING.

THAT'S WILD.

Honestly? I wasn't even minding it! I was really enjoying the interactions we've been having this episode!

I'm kinda disappointed we got to the challenge part. XD

"Magenta Team and Yellow Team,"

I heard Jello Team again.

For those who didn't see my previous reactions, you wonder why I sometimes call the Villains Alliance the Jello Alliance?

This is why.

Krystal keeps calling them Jello.

So I call them Jello because I have a cringe sense of humor.

"Stings, don't it?"

XD

I LOVE THAT THEY DON'T CARE

Jake especially must me like "YEAH!! SHE'S GONE!!!!"

Ooh this challenge looks fun, actually.

"The first team, and ONLY, the first team to score three points wins immunity."

OH SHIT. IT'S A DOUBLE ELIMINATION.

"Tonight there will be two losing teams!"

OKAY I PHRASED THAT WRONG, BUT I SWEAR I GET IT.

So if Magenta doesn't win here, THEY'RE FUCKED. They're down a member.

"The two losing teams will go to the elimination together and vote for a single person."

Got that.

"We have to win this, or we're screwed. The other teams have four people, and we have three."

Yep.

You guys are fucked.

"No friendly fire, right Jake?"

GEEZ. GIRL, CHILL.

OH NO JAKE!!!!

I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS GONNA DO THAT!

ALLYSON JUST KILLED HIM!!

"Oh... I didn't think it was gonna do THAT... ah well, I never liked that bitch anyway. That's karma for the iPad."

I'm pretty sure ALLYSON was the one who did the 'friendly fire' part.

BUT WHATEVER.

"Okay, fine."

He's not even arguing. "Yes I will work with you! Please do not drop me down a trapdoor again!"

Why is Allyson holding a grudge? Over AN IPAD.

Isn't Allyson supposed to be more chill than this?

We're getting intermission and we haven't even started the challenge yet.

I don't like that Jake and Aiden are paired up again.

"Don't try anything stupid, Jake!"

"What? I didn't even do anything!"

THIS EPISODE.

Also, stupid?

If Aiden said 'dirty', or something like that, it would make more sense.

"I know you will. You're very predictable."

Uh...

I mean Aiden isn't wrong, nor can he be faulted for.

Aaaaannnnnnd Aiden was completely correct.

FUCK OFF JAKE!

Grett's gonna slay now.

SLAY 👑

"Jake, you have to concentrate or we'll lose!"

NOW you can yell at him freely.

"Do not tell me what to do!"

"Fine! I will!"

OH GOD THERAPIST ASHLEY

"SHUT THE FUCK UP JAKE. I'M RIGHT, YOU'RE WRONG, NOW GO STAND IN A CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry."

Hey at least he apologizes I guess.

You now, Allyson has a complete right to hate him.

"Gabby, what happened to Ellie?"

What do you think?

"She probably got what she deserved."

"Shut up! You don't know what happened!"

"From that reaction I'm guessing you were blindsided."

"Jake, you're too easily provoked by the other team! Do not let that happen again, you hear?"

Oh so you can provoke the other team, but Jake can't, huh?

What's the logic behind that DAMN HYPOCRITE?

WOW. YOU SUCK.

Ashley being the one competent person here fr.

OKAY. WOW.

RIYA'S GOING AT IT.

"I wanted the poly girls to have their shipping moment, ya know?"

"Sorry, I'm just thinking of the fans. Tessally stans are gonna go crazy!"

😂

AIN'T NO WAY.

AIN'T NO WAY!!!

RIYA IS A GRETT STAN AND A TESSALLY SHIPPER!

"Listen, Jake, can we talk later?"

Oh.

Oh my god he's actually trying now!

TOM I'M PROUD OF YOU!

"Oh now you want to talk. I'm not gonna fall for that again!"

Yeah.

Not gonna be that easy now.

"Oh Jake! Look at Tom's bulge in his tight swimsuit!"

Punch him.

THANK YOU.

Yul, are you sure you're not gay?

What is there to even look at-

OH YEAH, TOM IS JACKED AS HELL.

😂

I'm not tweaking. I only JUST NOW took a look at Tom and realized this.

NINE EPISODES IN. HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS CHARACTER BEEN IN A SWIMSUIT?!

AND ONLY NOW, DO I REALIZE HE'S JACKED?!

THIS WHOLE TIME, I NEVER BAT AN EYE LOOKING AT HIM.

IT TOOK ANOTHER CHARACTER BRINGING IT UP FOR ME TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT.

If this doesn't prove that an asexual lesbian, AKA, someone who is not attracted to men, is making these reactions... idk what else will.

HEY! JAKE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!

Also the subtitle is covering up Yellow Team's score. What does it have against them?

OP, GRETT'S SLAYING. IT'S OVER!

"That's cheating!"

Riya literally shoved two people earlier.

Ashley be a hypocrite. "No provoking! JAKE! Don't provoke! Don't get provoked! No provoking allowed!"

"Anyway WTF IS THIS CHEATING NONSENSE?! OH AIN'T IT SO SAD YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S GONE GABBY?!"

Like... GIRL. PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH.

Oh and she lost it.

TOM XD

Okay that got a laugh out of me.

Oh it's gonna come down to a 2-2-2, isn't it?

NOT THE HAIR FLIP AGAIN

Queen is ready to slay.

AND SHE GOT KARMA XD

YEAH YOU AIN'T TRYING THAT AGAIN. I'M SORRY.

Okay it stopped being charming when Yul started laughing.

THAT'S YOUR OWN TEAM.

OH SHE GOT IT!

OKAY ALLYSON! SLAYING IT!

AW THE VICTORY HUG! THAT'S SO SWEET!

"We'll all put our four votes on one person and get one of the Cyan members to vote with us."

I know who's flipping.

AS MUCH AS I WANT YUL GONE.

"Aiden's no threat! We should target the big dogs, like Tom."

YUL, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT GAY?

"And how do I know you guys won't vote me out like Ellie?"

Yeah. I KNOW WHO'S GONNA FLIP.

"It wasn't personal, Gabby!"

"It's just part of the game."

"Yes! In your face Ellie!"

XD

Gee I wonder if Tom is happy.

"YES! REVENGE!!"

MM HM. SURE.

"How could you guys be so cold?"

AWWW

"Can't we put our differences aside for one night?"

I have a feeling it's gonna be Tess.

She screwed up when she flipped last episode.

"Yellow Team, we are voting for Riya tonight."

Oh wow, just straight up announcing it.

"She's a snake in the grass, and I promise you, she will backstab you the first chance she gets."

RUDE.

Totally justified though.

And there are no lies detected in that statement.

"You left me to die on a cliff!"

"Oh my god, you're so uninteresting that you have to keep bringing that up!"

HE'S RIGHT TO BE PISSED THOUGH

YOU GOTTA ADMIT.

"It's the one remotely exciting thing you ever got to say."

Oh come on, I think Aiden deserves more credit than that.

"Vote me if you want, I can kick your ass six ways to Sunday in any tiebreaker, Aiden."

OKAY. SHE'S GOT HER NAILS OUT. SHE'S READY TO SLAY.

"I'm guessing Ellie's vote out wasn't unanimous."

OOF. YEP.

"It's only a matter of time before they do the same to you."

OOOOOHHH

AND SHE HAS NO REASON NOT TO BELIEVE THAT TOO.

"Revenge is best served cold, and our villains alliance could use a new member!"

I know this is wrong on so many levels and this is gonna cause disaster...

BUT DO IT.

DO IT.

"JOIN THE DARK SIDE... WE HAVE COOKIES!!" 🍪🍪🍪

JUST TO FUCK WITH THESE GUYS. DO IT!

"I-I don't know..."

DO IT. DO IT. DO IT.

"We didn't vote her out of spite."

YOU didn't.

THE BOYS ON THE OTHER HAND...

"Right, Ellie's gone for simple strategy, nothing's personal."

"Yes! In your face Ellie!"

I'M JUST SAYING.

I THINK SHE SHOULD DO IT.

"In that case, you guys won't care if I vote with Yellow Team."

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH

SHE'S ACTUALLY FLIPPING

OH MY-

OH IT'S JUICY NOW!!!

"After all, it's not personal, right Tom?"

OOOHH SHE'S GETTING IT!!!

"Okay villains, I'll join you, but only if you vote my way."

Pretty sweet bargain.

"Alec's betrayed Ellie so many times, he's just going to do the same to you, Gabby!"

Yeah, fair.

But also, she can fly under the radar this way, and then betray them before they can betray her.

"We can't give them back their power. We were doing so well."

THEY'RE GONNA SWEEP.

IT'S ALREADY OVER.

ALL THREE OF MY FEMALE STANS ARE WORKING TOGETHER?!?!?!?! WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT THIS IS ACTUALLY CANON?!?!!

I feel so bad for whoever is going though.

Who is it?

It's Tess, isn't it?

I have a feeling it's Tess.

'RIYA'

You wish.

'RIYA'

Aw, the futile effort. Gonna cry?

I'm just bullying Cyan now. I'm sorry.

'RIYA'

Okay now who is it?

'TESS'

I KNEW IT!!!!

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

'TESS'

I'm sorry Tess.

'TESS'

One half of me is cheering "YES! REVENGE!!!"

'TESS'

But the other half of me likes Tess, so I can't say I approve of your target.

What does that say?

"Say Hi To Ellie From Me"

😂😂😂

OH DAMN THAT'S COLD.

YOU SENT HER TO THE ARCTIC WITH THAT ONE!!!

DAMN.

👏

I LOVE THAT.

LIVE. 👏

LAUGH. 👏

LOVE. 👏

GABBY. 👏

"That seems very personal."

"HURTS, DOESN'T IT? HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT?!?!"

"Please don't fight over this. It's just a game."

Aw. At least Tess is taking it well.

"Can someone just say bye to Ally for me?"

Aw, poor Allyson.

"NOOOOOOO!!!! I'M STUCK ALONE!! AND WHAT'S WORSE, I'M STUCK ALONE WITH A BLUE HAIRED CRYBABY!!!"

"Gabby, I want you to know, I understand and I'm not mad."

Awwww

Tess MVP, fr.

"Thank you for helping me win Mr. Whiskers."

Awww ❤️

"And I'll tell Ellie that you're doing well."

Uh huh.

"Hey Ellie. Yeah Gabby's doing well. By well I mean messed up, she kinda sorta... joined the dark side??"

And Ellie's gonna be like "THAT'S MY GIRL! SO PROUD OF HER!!"

I love Tess, so I'm a bit sad to see her go. Bye Tess!

"And another one bites the dust! Two left to kill! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAAAA!!!"

OH MY GOD SHE'S DRUNK ON POWER!!!

"Now that I'm a villain, I need to work on my evil laugh."

The others are gonna be like, "Uuuuuuhhh evil laugh? You're taking this a bit too comically, we don't do that here. We hang out on beaches and eat Jello."

"Oh hush. Let her have her fun."

Gabby's gonna be the light of the dark side, fr.

OH MY GOD OLIVER ISN'T DEAD!!!

HALLELUJAH! WE FINALLY SAW HIM!!

"One of the staff members were caught breaking the rules."

Oh?

Aaaaannndd cliffhanger.

Okay, well, nice to see you alive Oliver.

DAMN. THE BLACK WIDOW BREGADE IS BACK!!

Well, black widow bregade and also Alec.

THERE YOU GO. I WAS EXACTLY RIGHT.

GABBY HAS FLIPPED.

ALSO EVERYONE HERE HAS SOME SERIOUS ISSUES.

Except Tess. RIP Tess.

I can't really blame Gabby though. It's not the BEST game move, but I totally get where Gabby's coming from.

Ellie is her everything. She was dismissed for being a freak for so long in her life and Ellie was the one that was there to help her and destroy the loneliness in her life.

And Ellie was broke and needed money, and these guys took that away from her and dismissed Ellie as this evil person.

So OF COURSE Gabby is going to turn on them.

She's doing what aligns with her own personal interest. And I respect that, even if it so happens to be with a villains alliance.

But also, this is actually kinda good for her. Cause she's gonna fall under the radar of everyone else, and when the time comes, she can flip back and backstab the villains.

They're not gonna get rid of her. They need her.

So... basically, everyone has issues.

Ashley has trauma over her farm burning down and has to put up with her teams bullshit.

Allyson is holding petty grudges.

Jake is also holding petty grudges and can't prevent himself from shooting himself in the foot.

Tom is a traumatized bean who made mistakes. At least he's now trying to fix them.

Aiden is constantly getting bullied.

Gabby is having a manic episode and they're getting three more seasons.

Grett is in an abusive relationship.

Alec has divorce issues.

Riya is losing every bit of moral decency she has, and when she's doing anything moral she won't admit to it.

And Yul... he can go fuck himself I dont care.

SO YEAH. THERE ARE NO SANE PEOPLE LEFT. EVERYONE HAS ISSUES.

And this just got a whole not more interesting.

[gf-brainrot-central]

Background details/me blabbing about my askblog yaaay!! Mostly because it's difficult for me to get motivated as it is! Plus maybe after being inactive for 2 years (rip 💀) this will help pique interest? Idk I just wanna talk about my sillies tbh. And the Axolotl needs a break you know? My guy's watching over an entire multiverse.

First off. The post about my LGBTQIA+ headcanons here: https://www.tumblr.com/craycray-wolf/737090570384703488/while-in-wait-for-the-book-of-bill-already-hard?source=share

It's still accurate to how I feel about the characters...mostly. In the time since I made this post, I have since been converted to "Grunkle Stan is bi" and I'm now preaching the Good Word 🤟

Anyway with that now amended, here's some stuff!

I originally made the majority of the posts about where everyone is now back in 2022, when I intended to have the blog launched as part of the 10th anniversary of Gravity Falls airing.

Well clearly that didn't pan (🩷💛💙🍳) out but maybe it was so it could instead coincide with all the revelations from TBoB! Life is kinda a beautiful thing sometimes.

Anyway point being, I'll have to tweak the timeline a bit. Which is fine because I wanted Dippin Dots and Mabes to hold some jobs before college anyway so really my lack of updating is just an excuse for this. That's the major point I could think of but if I didn't properly consider others please sound off 📣 (yes I'm a cringe emoji user AND I'M PROUD)

Soos and Melody are still attempting to conceive because they want at least one bio child if they can but they're working on adoption.

Many assume Gus Burnside to be missing or worse dead. But maybe... he's still out there somewhere...with his physical body fulfilling a deal. But y'know! No one can say for certain!

To be completely honest I'm still figuring out my interpretation of Bill's backstory. Sorry about that.

Though the reason the Axolotl has contacted our dimension to begin with has to do with his concern...about a certain someone. And who better to give a helping hand than the fandom and the Zodiac?

Since Stan taught Wendy how to hot wire vehicles and whatnot, they one day found a fairly intact Harley motorcycle in the dump. They fix it up together and Stan declares it hers. This is where her Harley previously mentioned in other posts comes from.

When did this happen? I've always assumed the Stans come back to land from time to time, including some summers. So likely during summer but a holiday could work too!

Mabel loves being a passenger. Dipper not so much unless he clings tight. Wendy installs a seat back at some point and this helps ease his anxiety. A little. He likes seeing the scenery though so he'll bare through it if asked to ride. Not to mention he cares for Wendy and thus doesn't want to deny her sharing her joy.

Robbie probably figured out he wanted to be an anime artist while doodling in college classes he wasn't paying attention to. Either he was in generals or some other degree at this point. He only drew in private during high school.

THIS NEXT SECTION WILL BE SHIPS 🚨 YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Pacifica during her high school/diner years thought she like liked Dipper. And well, she was Dipper's rebound crush so at around 15 or so they dated for a while. Pacifica however eventually realizes she's actually a lesbian and was misinterpreting her care for Dippin Dots, as well as thinking she only had so many options initially. Dipper realizes it was to cope with Wendy.

Therefore they cut off romantic ties on good terms and continue to be good friends.

(I have nothing against Dipcifica, it's cute. I'm just personally a Mabcifica person and enjoy my lesbian Pacifica hc)

In their early college years Mabel and Pacifica become girlfriends, LET'S GOOOOOO

Candy and Dipper have began to catch each other's eyes... they've healed from the events of Roadside Attraction in the years since and now they can have a healthier relationship in several ways. I WILL DIE FOR THIS SHIP OKAY

Fiddleford and Ford are sweet old man boyfriends. Though romance baffles Ford it makes enough sense with Fiddleford.

Stan is Stan. Though maybe all of his family coming out awakes something in him... something new to explore about himself...

Past Billford will likely be discussed at some point, though they haven't been a thing for decades and it was toxic to begin with.

Grenda and Marius are of course married ❤️ Candy, Mabel, and Pacifica were her bridesmaids. Mabel and Candy were piling over each other trying to get the bouquet, though Wendy catches it. Uninterested in marriage she throws it back out and reflexively Dipper catches it. After confused for a solid moment he tosses it and finally Pacifica then catches it.

_________

SHIP SECTION FINISHED ⚠️

The Pines Twins revisit Gravity Falls every summer until their high school graduation. Well *maybe* they go one more after graduation but then they have job schedules to contend with.

One of those summers (probably when the Mystery Twins are 15) their parents surprise them with a visit! But then they start to question everything because y'know. Weird town.

Eventually the truth comes out about everything, and they better understand their kids.

It wasn't the easiest summer but an important one.

They let their children return because they know how dearly they love their time there, albeit with ground rules established.

As for their jobs, Mabel was a barista and Dipper restocked shelves at a grocery store.

Dipper now has come to care for his birth name and birthmark. He still likes going by Dipper but he insists that only those close with him use the name. The only reason he still wears bangs is that his hairstyle is just comfortable and familiar. This also keeps his birthmark special as only some get to see it (in full).

Mabel still loves knitting and sweaters, but she's experimented a lot with fashion throughout the years. She now has more variety in her wardrobe than sweaters and skirts.

The twins live in dorms with a couple roommates and return back to their childhood home during holidays and summer. They intend to live in Gravity Falls once they get all their education/credentials.

Waddles is an old man but still kickin'. The parents were initially upset with his presence but were convinced by Stan to begrudgingly keep him. They grew to care for the piggy as well.

The family cat (Sniffles) has since passed :(

They have a dog (Honey) now though! She was a puppy from a dog Dipper once dogsat. The owners didn't realize said dog was preggo. It was a whole thing. Anyway Mabel loves putting her in cute outfits that match Waddles, something she used to do with Sniffles.

Mabel is a k-pop multistan (originating from Candy and Grenda introducing it to her) and absolutely loves drinking boba/jelly milk tea. Dipper likes the sound of k-pop music but isn't a fan the same way his sister is. He likes milk tea but the boba pearls themselves freak him the heck out.

There's a lot more but I'm blanking 🤪

[greensagephase]

Just realized how much I love the way you write your Miguel. Like instead of oversexualizing, making him animalistic or just straight up a dick (even tho he kindof is sometimes, let's be honest-)

I just love how you dive in his current trauma (not too long ago his mom got zombified like marvel give bro a break plz), include trust issues and his mental problems, while not breaking his character. You made him stubborn, a little proud, but still show slight vulnerability, and so many unsaid words. Hell, you might be one of the best Miguel writers I've ever seen on here!

I love the slow burn in NC, it makes Miguel seem more like a real person, with unbearable trauma and trust issues, who's main way to 'cope' is "by leading a society of Peter Parkers who can't pay their rent on time" (from the ATSV artbook), and as someone with a mental health too similar to Miguel's I can see myself in him (THAT'S A COMPLIMENT) with a slow build of trust

While I sometimes do enjoy a bit of smut, most of the time, it's too fast. Too quick, like- CALM DOWN LADIES (and gents), I DON'T THINK MIGUEL'S GONNA EAT YOU OUT ON THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN LIKE EMPANADAS

ALSO DID U KNO HE'S BI???

Hiii, Dino!!! Thank you for the ask, pookie!! 🥰 Also, I'm sorry for taking a few days to answer your ask. I took a few days off tumblr due to life :))

But omg, thank you!! I appreciate the kind words so much, and I’m happy that you love NC!Miguel and the slow burn! 🥹 Also, I’m glad you appreciate the acknowledgement of Miguel’s issues, traumas, and mental state within the fic. I’m no expert; no psychologist nor professional writer, but as the story expanded, I decided that I’d like to dive into Miguel’s story a little more, this being a Spider-Man Miguel fic after all, and one that’s attempting to portray Miguel as realistic as possible (or at least the way I see him and think he’d be like), so that entails including his issues, traumas, and mental state, too.

I know this has led to some chapters being a little delicate, overwhelming, and/or sad (and I’m sorry to anyone who has ever felt down or cried reading NC because they resonated with this content, or the emotions got a little too much. This has never been my intention ):), but I believe it’s important to address, especially because his issues, traumas, and mental state overall are big contributors to his behaviour and mindset in ATSV. As I said, I’m no expert, but just from what I learned in college and have learned throughout the years with personal experiences (seen close people dealing with similar issues like those Miguel has faced and is facing), I know healing from such traumas is important to move forward with life. I also know it takes time, which is a big reason why this fic is a slow burn.

I want Miguel to find himself in a healthy and positive mindset, learn to trust others, and know that he is worthy of love and friendships before he finds himself in a romantic relationship. I’ve yapped too much, but I’m glad that you appreciate that, even though these can be sensitive themes/discussions. Thank you! Also, I’m touched that you can see yourself in NC!Miguel and how he slowly begins to allow himself to trust someone. I hope that as the story progresses, you can continue to see yourself in him in a non-harmful way (I never wish to portray mental health negatively nor disrespect/offend someone)! 💖

And hehehe, your comment about the smut and empanadas has me laughing! 🤣 But I hope you can find more fics with a slower pace regarding that aspect though! I know there’s awesome and talented writers who continue to write for Miguel on here that feed my delusions about this man and post very regularly (thank you Miguel writers - ily 🥰), so keep your eyes open and support what you enjoy reading!!

ALSO, yes, but also no?? I saw a tweet a very long time ago of Oscar Isaac apparently saying Miguel was bi, but idk if it’s canon because I haven’t read any of the comics 😞 (all the plot lines within NC that align with the comics have been researched from other sources). Is it confirmed in the comics? :))

Thank you so much for the ask!! I hope you’re having a great day/night, Dino!! Pls take care!! 🫶🏼💖

Alondra❤️

[vampiric-succulent]

OUAW EP 20:

It’s not even past the bean footage yet and already I have a thing to comment about—

“Hey. Keep working. Keep your hands down.” Idk if it’s just Mace or if it’s me but this is an interesting thing to start the episode with

Also I lowkey already watched this but considering that I wasn’t really paying attention due to Sleep im rewatching

Oh this is the Silly Goofy episode. Got it.

Watching this is so different now that I know how tall each of these people actually are in real life

“Mr Kremyyyyy….. Torbek had a nightmaaaare………..” torb <3

Hot jones?

Why is Mikey using the King Shmebulon voice

Oh the energy here is so weird today

NEXT YOURE GONNA TELL TORBEK THAT A SHRIMP FRIED THAT RICE and they’re gone

The improv shenanigans here are SO GOOD— “the wee hours” watches and the blue J and the bottle of something

HOT JONES!!!

“There was that guy and he was like… woah.” Bi Gricko!!!! “Why you always watching these kingly types and looking at their woah?” Lmfao Gideon you are no better

Degenerate Jones

TABAXI TORBEK and eughhh Mammon Tiefling Gricko (applying for all Mammon Tiefling Gricko)

I love how Kremy is super paranoid thinks everyone is out to get him but still immediately tells Gideon everything (I need to see Gideon do some sort of something back bc coalecroux is feeling increasingly one sided and it is making me sad)

“Torbek was happy with the infinite abyss”

THE FEDS

Poor Twig she went from dealing with absolute loneliness to dealing with all this bullshit. She needs to have the space to Bogart out a little bit like get this woman a destruction room

Twig 🤝 Torbek

coping mechanisms

Gideon has such older brother who acts like a father figure to Twig vibes

THE FEDS THEYRE IN THE CLOTHES

Torbek is simply following suit… following the suit to the ground lmfao

PENIS NOSE?????? HOW IS THAT AN OPTION

Gideon is overwhelmed by Penis im sorry

This is just reminding me of when Frost got the proud nudist curse and Derek made that slapping turn joke 😭

Obligatory “im walkin here” please stop

Nvm we have the coalecroux and also poly party affirmations (long shots and headcanons)

OH!!! Woah there Kremy

“Think of the Federal government!” Quick Gid take your clothes off!! The government!!!

OH NO THE ORCIFICATION

NO THE FUCKING CABINET

DEREK. DEREK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT DEREK WE COULD HAVE NEVER GONE DOWN THAT ROAD

Love Torbek’s Spring Aladrin voice. It’s like some sort of old English aristocratic friend of Oscar Wilde.

Oop! Theseus’s Ship mentioned (kind of)

“Did we do a bunch of drugs before bed again?” Funny you should have asked that Gideon given what is now happening

“Tentacles probe me” “yes Gideon join us the time is now get naked”

WHY IS IT ERECT NOW DEREK. PUT THAT DOWN. “Something about beekeeper helmets…” HUH

Oh god Twig is gonna bogart out

PUT IT DOWN. PUT THAT THING DOWN AND AWAY.

“STOP BEING ERECT. STOP EATING MY BONES”

Love how Nikkie says “your mind is back to Gricko” and Mikey just starts screaming

Whoops!

It is so impressive how Twig is so controlled. Like she has every justification to absolutely freak out right now and she’s keeping calm and trying to manage things.

Thank god Hootsie is out of this lol

NO TWIG LOOK AWAY

“Torbek was *very* thorough.”

Okay seriously how old is Twig?? This is a very important question. Like REALLY important.

I’m imagining Spring Aladrin Torbek lying on a couch like he’s gonna say “draw me like one of your French girls”

Guys. Please. We are nearly halfway through this video. Please.

YES CAST SILENCE. HUSH MICHAEL.

No Twig it’s not your fault!!!!!!! No!!!!!!!!!!!

Not the Pennsylvanian sperm trees

“After what I’ve watched today I don’t think you’ll accomplish anything of value.”

Not the milk joke PLEASE y’all not the cilk

Frost is so sweet tho

No more Hot Joneses :(

Yesss Twig establish those boundaries!!!!

Tom is such a deep cut

Okay so Twig is at least 200 years old. Good. That’s really good. Good to know.

Grinko is having a stronk. Please call the Gronkulance.

WHAT HAPPENED TO HOOTSIE.

Omg she’s their niece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But also HOLY FUCK HE HIT HER??? WITH A CABINET????????

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.”

Menasith, and their older sibling Menapauthe.

The Glowing Anus 😭

Oh this is Nikkie’s fault. Fantastic.

MORNING FROTH CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE

“That’s very funny Gricko. Your daughter is possibly bleeding out.”

Ohhhh Hootsie’s okay thank god

Gricko however is really not

Okay so I know this is a fantasy campaign and we are in the literal Feywild so this like kind of doesn’t matter but how does Gideon get energy??? Does he need to absorb nutrients or is it just sort of as long as he keeps his internal furnace alive he’s okay?

Twig boundaries 100 with regards to Torbek but fully get the party’s concerns

Also Twigsy ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Not Gricko being hypnotized by Spring Aladrin Torbek’s hip sway

Torbek does not know but Torbek must dance!!!!

Oh Torbek’s ticket is so sad

“This is an Acorn Satchel!!!”

Mikey annoying Nikkie so much that she just takes things away

Frost getting jealous over the Gricko impression 😭❤️

What is a mud meffet?????

I love Andy so much. Oh he’s wonderful. So glad he’s here.

KLUTZY RETURNS for like two seconds

Love these guys. Oh my lord. Also what the fuck happened in the first like hour???? Still a fun little episode.

[phishenator]

Grimsley headcanons

Bc hes my fav

•Of the e4, youngest at 23

-25 in Alola, Bro aged horribly

•Bi yet no one wants him 💀 I’m subscribed to ftm Grims but vibe with cis & non-binary hc

-Specifically Biromantic, Demisexual

•Height hc, about 5’8” - 6’

-Cait and Marsh are both taller than him tho

•Born in Galar, Moved to Unova with his mom after the family riches lost incident

•Uncle to Piers and Marnie

-Marnie has Grims wrapped around her finger, not on purpose tho

-Actually the one who inspired Piers to become a musician

- Does anything he can to make sure the two have better family relations and life than he did

•He has some HEAVENLY vocals, doesn’t show it off much unless it's like karaoke night

-Actually knows how to play a good amount of instruments, all are classical instruments

○Bc lets be real are you really from a fictional rich family if you don't know at minimum a piano?

•In Alola for rehab on the gambling addiction coping mechanism

-Maybe even some (forced) PTO

○Look at those eye bags and white hair and tell me no one in the league forced him to use his vacation days

○They saw him without concealer and hair dye ONCE and sent him away 💀

-Alternatively he ran away to Alola and once the others locate and find him they’re all concerned for his mental health then he’s forced into therapy

•Found family Unova Elite four btw

-Maybe a bit of poly

•He surprisingly has the most amount of stored up vacation days

•Sleep schedule doesn’t exist, relies purely on cat naps throughout the day

•Likes cuddling more than his ‘Sly and mysterious semi-evil gambling man’ persona shows off

•Some of the worst vision known to man, Wears contacts

-The others all saw him wearing glasses once bc he ran out of contacts lenses and they all felt so betrayed

•Corvid instincts, Somewhere is a drawer filled with trinkets and shiny stuff

-Gifts them to friends

○Misc. Hc that Burgh with the trinkets uses them in art pieces

•If DnD did exist in their world he would secretly obsessed

-The rest of the e4 + Alder/Iris find out and make a campaign, Shauntal as DM

•Despite what the general public would believe, Grimsley can cook a damn good meal

-Never tends to cook unless the others beg him

•Secretly a huge fucking nerd

•ADHD and ykw prob autism

-Hyperfixates. Reason he’s a dark type trainer? He saw a dark-type once once as a kid and went “Yes.” So many drawings and hours of research.

-Fidgets a lot, fidget toys, shakiest leg known to man whenever he’s sitting, plays with his hair when stressed, plays with his coin between his fingers whenever he’s nervous, etc

○Yes the other e4 + Alder/Iris has had to physically stop him from pulling out his hair

-Sensory issues, hates washing dishes in particular (He’ll do them but he’ll be internally screaming)

-That ADHD paralysis kicks and kicks HARD, on those days his pokemon try to comfort him, if any of the other e4 see him like this they try to help him with tidying up, eating, etc.

-Has a lot of secret plushies and other soft things for comfort items

•Had to force himself into developing social skills, both due to his family issues and being considered the "weird kid" (kid w/ mental disorder, in this case) at school

-Both of which made him basically end up masking all his emotions with the more calm, quiet and confident Grims we know

•It's hard to get the actual truth from him. Paranoid abt how the people he’s close to knows when he’s lying. So instead toward those people he says the most unreasonable obvious lies possible

•So much hidden anxiety it’ll give a wimpod a stroke

I’ll stop here bc if I kept going this’ll be an hour read at minimum

Ik these are all pretty common hcs for Grimsley but uh im unoriginal ig idk

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - March 25th

reg kin anon, EO anon (new), midnights anon, a very confused anon (new), it's a boy anon (new)

reg kin anon (tw-death)

Hi hon! I didn't copy your ask because it seemed like you didn't want me to

I absolutely don't think your feelings are awful at all. I think that's actually a really common feeling when it comes to this type of thing. I know you said it didn't have to do with suffering but in a way it does- it has to do with the mental suffering of everyone involved. It's so draining having to deal with that limbo every day, and I can completely understand why you feel like that.

Honestly, I think any feelings when it comes to death are valid. it's such a multi-faceted thing and coping is so difficult. please don't feel guilty for your feelings and they ways you're getting through it.

__________

EO anon

hi cas! i want to preface this by saying i absolutely love ur microfics and other work so so much :)

i also wanted to ask for some advice <3

(for context i’m a teenaged girl) ok so for a while i’ve been reflecting on myself and i’m pretty sure i am bisexual (or possibly biromantic, idk). for the longest time, i’ve never had a crush. i’ve always been confused about what that means, and not really cared. (i only recently have had “celebrity crushes” but that’s just finding someone objectively attractive) however, my and one of my best friends have been getting really close- and i think i might have a crush on her? we are in this trio of friends with me, her (O) and this other girl (E), and we’re all super close. i love E so much, but definitely just as besties. me and O share most of our classes, and we are pretty much always together, to the point where our brains are very in sync. anyway i just think a lot about how pretty she is, and my love for her feels different? from my love for my other friends. (but love for different friends always feels different so??) the thing is, i don’t really know how romantic vs platonic feelings are different. anyway, because of this i’m thinking i might be bi, and have “come out” to myself in my brain. since then i’ve started looking at girls like they have the same potential to be attractive (? that sounds weird but i don’t know how to describe it) mostly, i don’t want to tell people i’m bi just to take it back later (funnily enough O did that)

this was mostly just an outlet for me to describe my feelings to myself, so thank you, but if you have any advice that would be cool <3

Hi!

Okay so it sounds like you're young. Which, don't get me wrong, some people are absolutely sure of their identity when they're young, and being young doesn't make your feelings invalid. But a lot of people just need time to figure things out. I say this because, you don't HAVE to know if you're bi or not. You can just accept that it seems like you have feelings for this girl, and go from there. As you go through life, see if you have feelings for girls again. Get to know yourself. It's okay not to know.

But also please know that if you DO come out as bi now and decide later that you are something different, that's okay. You're allowed to change your mind as you get to know yourself. That doesn't make your identity fake or invalid.

_________

midnights anon

Hello it’s midnights anon once more

I’m so sorry to be sending in another ask but I really am just so tired to being around my parents

There was a scheduling issue for the spring musical, since it’s the day before a family birthday party in Texas (I do not live near Texas) so I won’t be able to go. My mom tried to guilt trip me into coming and not doing the musical but what the heck?? It’s something I really want to do, I auditioned way before she told me about the party, and she said I could do the musical and when she told me today that they conflicted, she kept pouting and guilt tripping me and saying “everyone was so excited for you come… you can’t just… not do the musical?” Even though there’s only 9 people in the show, everyone already has 3 or more roles, and they cannot afford to lose another person for the cast. I told her and apologized (even though I really feel that I shouldn’t have to, because this is a thing I love doing and also started doing well WELL before the birthday)

Honestly never mind. She wins. I feel guilty. I think I’m going crazy at this point, am I really that selfish to want to do a musical over go to a birthday party? Am I really that selfish to feel upset that they keep making me feel guilty and uncomfortable? I might as well just not be a bother and email the director that something has come up.

I just feel so stupid and stepped on in my family’s presence.

I don’t want to keep going but I have to and it sucks

I hate living right now

(Please do not worry for my safety. I am safe. I promise)

Thank you for reading

Please don't be sorry, hon, I don't mind. I promise <3

Honestly, I think you SHOULD do the musical. You made a commitment, and following through is important. Could you phrase it to your mom like "Hey, I made this commitment, people are relying on me, and I'm responsible for this."?

If you already emailed the director, don't beat yourself up. I promise the director will understand. But if you didn't, you should NOT feel guilty for doing the musical. It's not selfish. It's responsible and selfless, actually. And you're not stepping on anyone <3

I'm sorry things are so hard, I'm sending you a thousand hugs <3

Also, with the other message about your mom and dad...like...your mom's comments are so frustrating. And your dad seems unhelpful as well. I understand why you're mad <3

___________

a very confused anon

hey cass. Ik you get alot of anons and idk how well you can answer my question but i’ve been struggling with this alot and i have no idea who else to go to, im sorry.

I think I might be on the aromantic spectrum but i’m not sure.

I have friends whom i feel a little too strongly about but i dont think i want to date them? And i get crushes but i dont want to date them, or id be ok with dating someone but dont have a crush on them. And i feel strongly about more than one person at a time. Or if i really want to be friends with someone i get the same amount of panic you would when talking to someone you like romantically. Idk. Im so confused and i was hoping you or one of your followers could help?

ive done a but of reaserch but i cant really find a tearm that describes how i feel

Tbh im not entirely sure how i feel. i sometimes feel like wanting to kiss/be in contact (cuddle, hand hold, etc) my friends is just making up for the fact that im single? But at the same time i dont have a crush on someone and don’t particularly feel lonely.

i’m sorry, this has turned into a whole rant, i just dont know how to explain it.

Is there anything you can explain or help in some way?

again, im sorry for the long ask and unclear question im just really distressed about this and have no idea where else to turn.

— a very confused anon —

Hi!

So I think it's important to remember that the ace/aro spectrums are, indeed, spectrums. Which means you could identify as ace/aro and still have feelings occasionally or in different ways. I think it might be helpful to look up demisexual and demiromantic. I can't decide for you what you are, and you don't NEED to pick a label, but those terms might be helpful for you.

Remember that whatever you decide, your feelings are valid and okay and normal and everything will be okay <3

Let me know what you think!

______

it's a boy anon

hi cas!

so...its a boy.

he is one of my best friends. we have a friend group consisting of us and our third friend. i feel so comfortable around him and we match eachothers freak, we communicated in sex jokes and we really are the same flavour of stupid. but we really shouldnt be in a relationship. he is a devoted christian which is totally fine in a friendship but i couldnt date someone like that because our views of a relationship simply dont match and we are both aware of this. and i dont feel like i have any romantic feelings towards him and i know that he doesnt feel like that either. however he confessed like three days ago that he is attracted to me. and i kinda feel the same way about him. which is so unfamiliar to me and kinda unbelievable.

first off i have had some issues with my body image recently and its kinda wild to know that someone feels the opposite way and now im a bit scared that ill try to enforce this look that he would fancy which i dont want to do. also he had been in a three year long relationship that ended a year ago and he was completely shattered after it and i feel like that still affects him even after a year and makes me think that im just here so thats why he feels like that.(ive only known him since after the realtionship).

so i would kind of be down to have a casual physical relationship with him but i have a lot of things im afraid of. (redacted)

im also concerned about our trio. he actually did talk about his feelings with our third friend but i felt like that would be putting her between us and making her a part of our problem so i didnt. im so terrified because i keep losing friends over different things and i dont want to and emotinally cant afford to lose them. she was also friends with him before i was, she introduced us and then became a trio and i feel like im stealing him away from her with this, because i really do spend a lot of time with him.

yeah. its complicated and i dont know what could be the solution if there even is one. im gonna confess my side of the attraction tomorrow if i can gather the courage and just roll with whatever happens but id appreciate any and all advice.

sorry that this is so long i had to tell this to somebody.

(also we are both over 18)

Phew. Okay so.

I think, like you said, this is a very complicated situation. The religion, the past relationships, the friendships, etc...I think, in theory, it could possibly be manageable if you both have the same intentions...

But only with a TON of communication.

Like. You need to talk about ALLL of this shit. A LOT. If you don't, this is only gonna end in someone being hurt. So I think before you make any decisions, you need to decide if that kind of communication is possible. Can you be really honest about what you want and don't want and what you're afraid of? If it's not, then I don't know if doing anything about those feelings is a good idea, unless you're willing to risk your friendships.

And also see if HE is willing to communicate as well.

And, more importantly, are you willing to cut things off if your wants don't coincide? Because again...if not, then the friendship will be hugely at risk when one of you inevitably compromises on something you don't actually want to compromise on.

It's a lot to think about.

Sending love!

[honorary-fool]

Can you tell us about your hsr oc(s)?

gladly >:D

The only one that's been properly fleshed out so far is Clover- I have a few work in progress ones like a tattoo artist, I *think* I was gonna make one a Galaxy Ranger, and a Knight of Beauty (I should work on her more, she's neat ^^)

for now gonna stick w/ Clover though. sticking this stuff under the cut 'cus I fear how long it'll be /lh

species: human/foxian mix

(They were born to two "human" parents; unaware there were recessive foxian genes in their bloodlines until Clover & their fraternal twin were born, to which Clover popped out with the trademark foxian ears & tail. As it turns out, an ancestor started a family with a foxian. Idk how genes work but something like that. Or I can make it up, it's a sci-fi/fantasy game lol).

age: ~185 chronologically, ~26 physically/mentally

gender/prns: genderqueer & they/she

path: Preservation (kit) / Trailblaze (lore)

element: fire

faction: the Nameless

planet of origin: x (tbd)

Like previously stated, Clover is a fraternal twin, the other being an "expy" of my primary genshin OC. To sum up their lore without needing to put trigger warnings (/lh): dysfunctional household -> realizes she's queer at a young age -> things get Worse -> ran away in late teens -> ends up with their first partner. said partner is Horrible in multiple ways -> on the run again, trying to cope with everything and survive as they go from planet to planet to figure out what to do next. picks up odd jobs, including mechanic-related stuff. oops guess that's their profession now -> runs into the Astral Express crew at some point -> ??? -> aboard the Astral Express.

How did they come to join the Nameless, you might be asking? ... Good question, I still don't know either. If I had to estimate, either during or after the initial Penacony quests (2.2-2.3 ish) I'd like to think they boarded the Astral Express, but as for reasoning... not sure yet either.

They haven't had much of a chance to partake in the traiblazing itself, mostly from her trying to get acclimated to everything first. As a mechanic, a lotta the time when they're not out with the others, they stay behind to help with the train's maintenance, especially when Himeko is unable to. Not entirely boring though, considering frequent maintenance it's just quick checks for the most part, so free otherwise. A lotta their social interaction comes from either the rest of the folks on the train itself and whoever pops in from the guest book. Got some funny anecdotes w/ Boothill and Argenti for that in particular.

Clover's bi, ambiamorous, demiromantic, & fluctuates on the asexual spectrum. My go-to ships w/ her is themself, Boothill, and Argenti because I'm a raging queer and those two will not get out of my thoughts (/lh). Also tryin' to come up with stuff with them and a few others (Robin, Serval, Sunday & March 7th; tried to figure out stuff w/ her and Gallagher but considering the timeline of when she'd end up with the Nameless, I don't think it'd work out unless in like an AU maybe).

misc trivia:

primary weapon- taken inspo from destruction path Trailblazer- is a big metal wrench. Gotta love hitting people over the head with large metal objects for your ultimate, right?

on a similar note, they create shields with their skill! not sure of much past that

neurodivergent (autistic & I'm not entirely sure if she'd meet the critieria for PTSD but... at least some symptoms of it? Gotta read up more and brush over my notes)

in a similar vein, neurodivergency + sensitive hearing from the big fox ears = hell ; if foxian-shaped ear protectors were made in the future they'd get like 3

similar vein part 2: a fiend for fidget toys. their go-to's are chewlery/the ones you can bite on (especially in their fox form*- may or may not have an Actual chew toy for that reason), as well as those picky-pad thingies to keep themself from picking at their tail's fur when stressed

when texting, their go-to emojis are the Pom-Pom ones and the ones of the Wubbaboos

*: not meant to be a Mary Sue thing, I read once on the antifandom wiki that foxians are capable of that and my mind ran with it /lh

And before I end it off, here's the dork (/aff)

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hey! I got a matchup a while back, and lately I have been craving another one😭 so if it's alright could I get romantic matchups for tears of themis, genshin, and atla? If not that's fine ofc💕

I use She/her pronouns but I've never really cared very much, I'm Bi but I'd like Male matchups for this one if that's alright (I love women but idk none of the women in these fandoms are like my type??? Idk)

Not sure if you use looks to pick, but I'm 5'7, longish brown hair and brown eyes, kinda chubby I'd say, and I wear glasses!

Ok so for the good stuff, I'm an enfp and a virgo and I have gad and adhd so I am very all over the place lol, I'm usually very energetic and loud (got called a human pep rally once) but every once in a while I take a hard turn the other way and do absolutely nothing lol.

Taking thing seriously is kinda hard for me, idk why but I'm very much the deflect and cope using comedy kind of person.

Personal life wise I'm the oldest of four (love my siblings) so loud is kinda the default in my life so I'm pretty comfortable in loud environments, but if I get a chance at peace and quiet I am JUMPING for it.

I have a few plants, I bake quite a bit (I make BOMB brownies), I'm very much a nerd lol, I love comics (fandom request gave that away tho), I play dnd, I love video games (rdr2, mk11 and mass effect are the current ones), I watch cartoons and build legos, and I'm learning how to draw.

I'm big into flowers and flower language, and I play guitar, alto saxophone, steal drum, and I have a violin I'm gonna start working on soon.

This turned out alot longer then I thought so the speedrun of the rest is although I dont often, I really like putting work into how I look (I just got a treble cleft claw clip with some dangly thingys and I like it I just wanted to mention that), no clue how to to makeup tho, I'm planning on going into communications, and uhh my favorite colors are pink and blue.

Thank you so much if you get to this

Hi Abby! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Tears of Themis, I match you with...

If there’s one thing that drew Luke to you, it’s the fact that you enjoy peace and quiet. He loves being in your presence when it’s quiet around. He just finds it soothing.

Definitely understands you using humour to cope. He does the same so he knows when it turns from just making jokes to coping and will check in when needed.

Please invite him to do gardening together some time. He likes being able to do something where he’s creating and nurturing life. It’s a good change from what he usually does.

Flower language is a big part of your relationship. I see Luke as someone who’s well versed in flower language so every bouquet he gives you has a hidden meaning behind it.

He also enjoys drawing so it’s not uncommon for you to find a sticky note beside your bed with a little drawing on it when he has to leave early in the morning. If you return the gesture, he’ll keep all your drawings in a safe place so he can look back over them.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

You and Itto are both the definition of human pep rallies so when your powers combine, no one can stand in your way. You can both be a lot sometimes but you get along well.

He also struggles to take things seriously so he’s a lot more understanding in that regard than others are sometimes. You just get each other.

In a modern au, Itto would be a huge fan of cartoons. He’s a firm believer than cartoons aren’t just for kids and still loves watching all those “childhood” shows.

In the same vein, he also loves Lego. I can’t see him being a big fan of tricky sets but he enjoys all of the bright colours. He’d love to make a set or two with you sometime.

I can see Itto being a fan of D&D as well. I think it might take him a bit to get his head around the different types of rolls and doing so much maths but he loves the roleplay elements and thinks it’s great fun. (I actually wrote this while playing a D&D session!)

In Avatar: The Last Airbender, I match you with...

You’ve got to be a certain level of energetic to keep up with Sokka’s plans. And you certainly meet that criteria. Sokka loves being around someone who can match his energy.

In a modern au, he’s definitely a fan of comics. He’s the type of person who buys two of every comic, one to read and one to keep in pristine condition.

For all his self-awareness, Sokka does have a tendency to deflect so he can easily recognise when you’re doing the same. He hopes you know you can rely on him if things get too much.

When he does run out of energy, there’s nothing that Sokka loves more than relaxing while listening to you play music. He finds it soothing both because of the music and because of your presence.

Please do lots of baking for him! Sokka will never admit it but he does have a soft spot for snacks, especially if you’ve made them.

[doubledyke]

first eene headcanon that feels niche - i always made rolf from ukraine in my head. rolf is my dad's fave character because he reminded my dad of his extended family on my grandmas side, and her parents came over from ukraine. i didnt even realize what a headcanon was when i was a kid i was just like "my dad likes rolf, hes from the ukraine" lol.

omg you're such a legend for sending me all these asks lol thank you!!

i love that pops is a fan of the show, and specifically rolf. that's very amusing. and i enjoy his headcanon!! i could definitely see him being from a slavic country, i think that's a pretty solid guess. i sometimes imagine him being from sweden cuz his accent kind reminds me of a really goofy exaggerated swedish accent. but then he wore what look to me like lederhosen as a kid so maybe he's swiss..... but he's also not white in my mind so maybe his family lived in one of those countries as a kid but his family is from somewhere else. who knows, that's just me. this calls for our resident rolf expert @mysticbeaver who will surely debunk all of my claims lmao. regardless we love rolfy <3

lmfaooooooo that last bit is fucking hilarious. eddy you fuckin dickhead. i agree big time, but i personally think he'd struggle cuz he just loses his mind tbh. like i think his ocd and gad would get so out of control that he'd have a really hard time doing anything. i haven't decided whether he'd end up checking into a hospital for a while and have to drop out or whether he'd get through by the skin of his teeth and only after having picked up some really unhealthy coping skills (becoming a wino).

however i can see him having decision paralysis like you mentioned and hesitating for a long time, till it's almost too late. he is a guy of many talents and interests so it makes sense that he'd have a hard time choosing what to theoretically spend the rest of his life doing. in the show he mentions wanting to travel the world i think? which struck me as kind of odd but i mean i guess it makes sense given his curious nature and whatnot. even i have trouble deciding what he'd end up doing. i like the doctor/surgeon idea, i like the idea of him being a teacher (specifically a hs choral director hehe), i like him as an engineer/inventor, i like him as a psychiatrist, i like him as a professional musician. perhaps he dabbles in a bit of all of it lol. i do think he'd be in college well into his 30s, so he'd have time to get multiple degrees. i think? idk i have no clue how college works.

omg this is so funny cuz it's totally different than how i imagine adult eddy, but i think i can see it. he is a big music guy, and no doubt he views himself as "sexy AND chubby" lmao.

that said, in the scenario that edd goes the teaching route, it's totally in character for eddy's scammin ass to pretend to be him just to make rent. down to the insulting voice impersonation over the phone. he ends up warping those poor children but they love him cuz he's fun. unfortunately he ends up in prison for a minimum of one year and is ordered to pay a hefty fine :/ the more i think about it the funnier it gets.

valid take. i see marie as a lesbo BUT the blue hair does give alt bi girl vibes. she'd be so fucking mean to any guy she dates. to the point that people are like "....dude do you even like men" and she begrudgingly says yes. i feel like im describing a lesbian in the throes of comphet lmao my bad.

thank you again dude, your takes are great and i appreciate you sharing them with me and giving me an excuse to yap endlessly <3