#idk how ppl tag on tumblr anymore

[devilyn]

stay by my side | tsukishima kei

— now playing: die with a smile by bruno mars & lady gaga

If the world was ending I'd wanna be next to you If the party was over And our time on Earth was through I'd wanna hold you just for a while And die with a smile

— synopsis: getting tsukishima kei to say 'I love you' more often is harder than you'd think

— genre: only a tinge of hurt, more comfort, needy tsukki

— word count: 1k

The first thing he sees every morning is you. The last thing he sees before he closes his eyes for the night is always you.

No matter what may be happening between the two of you, the reassurance of knowing you'd be there in the morning and at the end of the day always calmed his tumultuous heart. 

So when he opens his eyes in the middle of the night and you're not there, he jolts up in a panic.

His hand quickly skims across your side of the bed, briefly wondering if he may be delirious in his half-asleep state. When he notices the sheets are still warm, he grabs his glasses and slips out of bed in a hurry.

The kitchen, the bathroom, and the living room are empty. When he finally stops to catch his breath, he notices your keys aren't hanging by the front door, an indication that you've left the apartment.

The realization makes his heart stop.

He should've apologized earlier. He should've known you'd get sick of him. You were always so patient with him, letting him keep you at arm's length for the first year of your relationship while he got used to skinship and physical affection. You even dealt with his mood swings, and communicated openly with him as much as possible so he could understand your perspective when the two of you fought.

And yet, he reversed all that progress last night when he ignored your feelings.

How can he expect you to read between the lines all the time? He had previously promised you he wouldn't treat you like that again, and yet he took advantage of your endless patience and did it again.

“Kei?”

His head turns quickly, wide eyes meeting your surprised gaze. You're standing against the front of your apartment building in your pajamas. He's certain he looks even more disheveled, having just rolled out of bed in a panic.

“What're you doing out of bed?” He asks quickly, stepping over to stand in front of you.

Your gaze softens, and his uneasy heart finally finds a moment to relax at the sight of you right in front of him.

“Just needed some fresh air, couldn't sleep,” you say softly. There's a moment of silence between the two of you before you reach up and gently brush your fingers over his jaw.

He can't help but close his eyes and relax into your touch. He let's himself indulge in the moment further, his own hand resting on top of your own to keep your palm against his cheek. 

“I don't want to.”

“Kei, please,” you pleaded, “I just want an ‘I love you' every once in a while. I'm not asking you to profess your love to me everyday.”

“I don't think it's needed. You know I do, why do I need to say it too?” He grumbled, setting his glasses down on the bedside table. 

“Hearing you say it and convincing myself that your actions mean something are two different things,” you retorted, and you frowned at the way he rolled his eyes.

The two of you have been arguing over the same thing ever since you brought it up at the dinner table just a couple of hours ago.

“Don't be stupid,” he finally snapped, and he ignored the hurt that flashed through your eyes. “Just go to bed. I'm sick of having this talk with you.”

He turned his back towards you, but he still heard your shaky ‘okay, goodnight’.

“What're you doing out here?” you repeat his question, tilting your head curiously. 

He hesitates to answer, eyes still closed as if doing so could buy him more time.

He's sure you saw the panic in his eyes when he heard you call his name. In truth, he wasn't entirely sure why he panicked so much. The thought of you not next to him sent a coldness down his spine that he just couldn't live with. 

“...came to find you,” he finally answers, amber eyes opening to meet your gaze.

The hand on his cheek slides up to gently run through his tousled blonde bed head.

“I'm not going anywhere,” you whisper softly.

His heart skips a beat, and he can't help it anymore. His arms reach out to wrap around your waist, tugging you close so he can bury his face in the crook of your neck.

You saw right through him, reading him like a book.

“I thought you left me,” he admits, voice shaking. One of your hands rests gently on the back of his head, the other lightly running up and down his broad back.

“Where would I go?” you try to joke, “my home is right here with you, Kei.” 

You squashed his insecurities almost instantly with just a couple of words. Your ability to ease all his worries so seemingly easily always amazed him. 

“I love you,” he confesses suddenly, and he feels the way your frame shakes as you laugh quietly. 

He wants to provide that same comfort and sense of stability you give him. If saying ‘I love you’ more often was what you needed to feel that, then he'd do it.

“I'm sorry,” he whispers quietly after his confession. When he pulls back slightly to scan your expression, you're staring up at him with that look in your eyes. That look that tells him--’I love you more than I can even express’. 

Your fingers reach up to cup both his cheeks, tugging him down so you can kiss him gently.

“I love you too,” you decide to settle with those four words, and he rests his forehead against yours.

“Don't leave me,” he murmurs.

“I'm not leaving you,” you promise.

“Stay with me,” he quietly requests.

“I will, I'm not leaving you,” you reassure him again, and there's a hint of a smile on your lips. “Though, I sort of like seeing you this vulnerable.”

He rolls his eyes and makes a move to pull away from you. You catch him with a laugh, arms wrapping around his waist.

“...I'll tell you I love you more often,” he admits defeat almost begrudgingly, and you smile up at him.

“Okay,” you whisper, “Thank you.”

“Can we go back to bed now?” 

He slips his hand into yours, and the way your fingers instinctively lace with his own melts his heart.

“Yeah, let's go home.”

[feelo-fick]

molten/molted/molded

also yes i do actually have a flamingo mug thats sorta chipped, and it is a little ugly, here it is :

its not super chipped, but i was still devastated when i found out

[izzy-b-hands]

I keep forgetting I can't seem to get the current version of xkit to work on my new laptop and going to do stuff that it let me do fjldksafjdlsaj

[cynicallyneutral]

guess we comin back here after the shitshow on twt lmfaooo, helloooooooo guys how are youuu, lets be friends, talk to me abt anything! i have 0 life!

[jakowskis]

Day 15 - Are there any ships you dislike?

alrighty so. there are only rlly four i ‘dislike’, and the first three… it’s more complicated than anything, it’s not entirely utter pure-n-simple disdain. it’s less about the ships themselves (in two of the cases, anyway) and more about how they seem to be perceived by the fandom + how much they dominate everything. other ships exist, guys! the other characters exist! anyway ill try not to be mean but i am gonna be petty, lol

so for starters, yeah, jack x ianto. i have a very specific view of it, that i do enjoy, but the fandom seems to be doing something else entirely and i've developed some resentment despite myself. especially bc it’s overrated as fuck. don’t get me wrong, it’s iconic, as far as being culturally significant gay rep, but if im honest idk how well they hold up in 2024? i thought their relationship in s1 and s2 of the show was lackluster at best. poorly written bread crumbs. and yeah i know it was big for 2006 but im just personally kind of offended that they could show them sucking face but not show the intricacies of why the hell ianto would fall for a guy who shot his girlfriend down?? like, their relationship is inherently dark and angsty to me and im interested in exploring that, bc the show certainly doesn’t (initially) bother to, and a lot of the fan content i see is either fluffy (??????????), or angsty in a Tragique way, or is just kind of… fetishy and whumpy? people slot them into a Specific Kind of Dynamic and it grosses me tf out. so the fandom culture rubs me wrong, and then it’s just… such a bummer to like owen and tosh and gwen in a fandom that only seems to prioritize this one ship. there are 22k fics in the torchwood ao3 tag, and 13k of them are janto. now, all that being said… they do intrigue me and endear me, just a bit. but it took the audios to make me give a fuck about them, which is sad. 

on that same note - i have the same relationship with tosh x owen, but i'm significantly less fond of it, cuz it just plain rubs me wrong. i like them in theory, so i spent months trying to figure out how to make them work and what other people are seeing that they think is so endearing and cute - i just can't find it. owen's treatment of tosh is just about the only thing i can't stand about him. he treats everyone poorly, but most of the rest of the cast defends themself (or even hit back, like ianto and gwen, and thats why i ship them with him! it’s spicy! i love balanced unhealthy dynamics in fiction hfdsjkf i can’t lie) - but tosh just lets him, creating an unhealthy power imbalance where she’s just getting hurt over and over again, and it makes me wanna fucking punch him cuz she does Not deserve that. i want him far away from her lmao. except under certain circumstances, cuz i have written fic about them, and i’ve read like three rlly good ones (and the main link between them is tosh stands up for herself and puts him in his place! i HATE how he walks all over her in canon ughhhhhhhhh). additionally, i do admittedly enjoy the angst of their canon arc. i just think fandom throwing them together and making it cutesy is lazy, uncreative, and an injustice to both characters. i think the SHOW throwing them together was an injustice to both characters, especially tosh’s. they're tragic and compelling, ill give them that, but theyre not sweet, and i don't think they'd be good for each other. 

(also worth noting on a show where everyone has tension w each other, imo barrowman & gareth and naoko & burn pull it off the least convincingly and have little to no chemistry. like every other duo just kind of sparks in some way or another, and neither of those duos do. which SUCKS bc they’re the canon ones. but it’s also heavily poor writing like they were doing the best w what they had. grr. like i still dont know what the fuck ianto likes about jack or what tosh likes about owen 😭 that’s ridiculous!)

the other ship i’m petty about is jack x john hart. i just think it’s far too popular for what it is. idek why that is, do we have a substantial amount of buffy fans in the fandom? don’t get me wrong, i liked john in the show + i liked their relationship as well, but i'll always be annoyed when a minor character gets more attention than the fascinating main ones. 

and lastly i hate john x ianto, because i respect ianto, lmao. i can’t lie, if he was my fav i’d probs ship it HJFKDSHFK i love putting my favs in awful situations. but as is it just grosses me out. get him outta there!! 

tldr: i don’t interact w the john hart side of the fandom, and if a fic is tagged 'jack/ianto tosh/owen gwen/rhys' i probably won’t read it 😷

[julymarte]

these were supposed to be illusts  but since  taru's holding the  sword with the  wrong hand cause i'm dum dum  they'll stay in their  sketch/draft stage... for now at least

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

welcome to a new episode of "crisis", today about researching inattentive adhd and trying to find out whether you're being rational or trying to find excuses-

[lavendersacid]

we gotta stop all of this

you guys are saying that people should write whatever they want and then you heavily criticize and bully them when they share thoughts on smut or porn. it's really hypocritical. i am neutral on this, idc what people write and following the logic that many of you claim to have (people can write whatever they want to about tlou and ellie!) you shouldn't be getting upset when someone says that they don't care for all of the smut under tlou tags and would like to see more fluff and angst. on the other end, you shouldn't tell people what to write, if they want to write smut, you shouldn't care. i've seen a couple controversial posts going around one of them was a girl who complained about smut but had also posted porn links to twitter, which is ridiculous idk how you can even dig yourself out of that lmao. the other one i've seen quite a bit of people bring up as an argument was a more popular writer on here pointing out how common porn addiction is and people really found a way to twist her words, she said explicitly in several posts that the smut and porn wasn't the issue but if you find yourself craving compulsively (needing it to help you sleep, having increased tolerance to it and needing more or more explicit content to satisfy yourself, withdrawal symptoms, that typo stuff. which are addiction symptoms if you don't agree you need to do some research and stop being in denial.) that you may have an addiction to porn. i've seen a ton of people say that she was claiming everyone who read or wrote smut was addicted to porn which is far from the truth and i was shocked when i went on her account and saw that she posted nothing of the sort. pro-smut people are claiming that tlou-warriors are trying to start issues but to me, it seems that they are the ones trying to start issues when they blow an informational post out of context and spread lies about the author who wrote it, i actually can't find her account anymore but if anyone knows it pls lmk. many have said that smut authors are going to get bullied off the platform while actively bullying authors who don't like smut off the platform lol, seperate the artist from the art. as for tlou-warriors harassing pro-smut people, leave them alone, just scroll or block the account if the content you don't like keeps showing up in your feed. that goes both ways. "but people are flooding the tags!" okay? use your own logic and scroll if you don't like it. this is tumblr, ppl are going to write so let them. what if you don't agree? who cares everyone is entitled to their opinions whether you like it or not.

[puppy-phum]

tag game ✨

thanks for tagging me zey @thasorns ♥ i teared up at your addition about me, that is so sweet :( i miss our dff talks too! idk what you're into these days but would love to talk about some show with you again :')

-

1. why did you choose your url?

bc am obsessed with one (1) man who belongs to another amazing guy ♥ (been thinking about an url change lately tho bc i'd like to put last twilight and the hurt it caused behind me but haven't found something else to tie myself to yet. maybe we are and phumpeem if the ending delivers?)

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

not really. the only side blog i have is my og url vishcount saved for nostalgia purposes but there's nothing on that blog

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

started on this hellsite (affectionate) on the lord's year 2013 and it shows

4. do you have a queue tag?

i don't use the queue much so no. you will only catch me reblogging like ten posts in a row when am online/in the mood and then going back to lurking again

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? 

i was into a bunch of animes and tumblr was filled with amazing fanart. i wanted to be able to look at them in peace

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

to show who my url is about ♥ mork my beloved

7. why did you choose your header?

wanted it to fit the theme. also i adore the last twilight rooftop kiss, it's one of the brightest spots of the show

8. what’s your post with the most notes? 

most likely this the untamed edit from 2020. i was truly living my peak back then :'D tbh i feel like the whole of tumblr was living its peak when the untamed was airing and when we all lost it together for the longest time after

9. how many mutuals do you have?

way too many and i adore all of them, tho i probably forget or cannot recognize most of them. especially if you've changed your url/main fandom OR i have, we might not even know each other anymore haha

10. how many followers do you have?

more than i deserve and idk what all of you are even doing here but i like feeling like i'm part of some type of crowd ♥

11. how many people do you follow?

quite recently i unfollowed some inactive blogs and blogs about things i don't really care for anymore so my follow count is a nice number of 205

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

uh. i don't really know? do some posts from my finnish tumblr (suomitumppu) era count? :'D

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

am chronically online and i open this app like a fridge

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no, not really. am not really one to share strong opinions, especially negative opinions, publicly online which i think is the cause of most arguments ppl have here. i'd rather just keep my peace and be nice

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts 

mostly i don't like doing things when am told to do them

16. do you like tag games?

yes! it always makes me happy to know that someone is thinking about me and i do find these a lot of fun to do ^^

17. do you like ask games?

also yes. i just don't often reblog those bc i don't really have a lot of interactions on this site. if i find an ask game with very interesting questions, i might forward it to kiddo @i-am-just-a-kiddo and we do it together privately to enjoy it like that ♥

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

the first one that comes to mind is hanyi @ruanbaijie who i think deserves all the recognition for her absolutely amazing giffing skills ♥ she's also the sweetest so idk what's not to follow, make her even more famous if you can!

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nope. idk if i function like that tbh. i have some huge friend crushes tho and want to be closer with some ppl a lot! not mentioning names bc am shy haha

but i want to say that monica @stormyoceans is very important to me these days. she brightens up my days and makes my whole fandom experience so much better by simply being her enthusiastic and authentic self ♥ never change!

and also jessi @oswlld who i still cannot believe is someone i can call my friend and bestie on this site. i am so happy we've gotten to share bad buddy, vice versa, and last twilight together! also happy to hear about your life at times and to just share silly things with you ♥

third one i want to mention is shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim who always manages to stand out in a positive way. we don't interact much but i cannot help but feel very giddy about their presence on my dash. they leave the best tags and every time they reblog any of my edits with their tags, they manage to make me feel like i've made it and my edit was worth the effort :'D so thank you!

20. tags?

want to tag at least @psychic-waffles @foxofninetales @hils79 @sherrymagic @srnileforme and @thitiponqs ♥ also the ones i mentioned before are free to join and anyone else who wants to do this!

[corruptimles]

Are you ever going to make team silly vision Stuff again?? It's ok if you're not I'm just interested if you are

It's a difficult question to answer..!

See, I've never completely lost interest in tsv, I still occasionally draw and try to remotivate myself into updating my fic, but I definitely declined in how often I draw/write batim ).m <- my budgie wrote that

And one of the reasons why things have slowed down is actually something I've been thinking about lately. Ppl on Tumblr have been less interactive over the years; a mix of ppl leaving and also ppl joining that don't reblog+tag, reply, ask, etc as often anymore. This has progressing for years now, even back then. And then less art gives even less reason for interaction; an awful cycle. (And idk anyone has an answer for this but on twt whenever I interact with people that comment on my stuff first, they delete their comment entirely. I don't get it. But it definitely made me demotivated)

I also probably fell out of view with not keeping up with batdr and such, so I kind of understand if people haven't been talking to me for those lol

I won't never draw tsv again, I've thought of so much stuff I want to get out there, but sometimes I think about stuff that requires context from years ago because I started it in 2018. And then reintroducing stuff feels like beating a dead horse ;; I am glad some ppl are still interested so don't be afraid to ask about tsv! It'd really help get the creativity going again and also help my problem of not knowing what people get

At the very least, between a lot of non-batim comics and AUs I've been playing with, I want to finish Team Sillyvision, The First Part since I've already started that fic

[lovelykhaleesiii]

can I just say this fandom is getting so ... toxic and out of hand I go to twitter there's shit, I come to tumblr there's more shit 🤡 honestly the hate towards actors and even amongst fans, and creators be it art, fanfic or whatever... Is so disgusting... It's like either you have to agree with every single world someone says or else you're the enemy and get told you should go kys or worse... the racism towards poc actors and overall bully behaviour makes me mad af ... ppl forget how they are just doing their jobs, they don't write the scripts they just act them out...

I haven't interacted with fandom for months now, given the amount discourse between writers had me shook, so basically blocked every account that showed up on dash regarding it all, but with season 2 coming I thought hey why not see how things are... Idk it's like nothing changed for some folk ... They still hate Emma for not being the Rhaenyra they want, the hate Olivia for just playing her part, they hate tom because ... the poor man is playing a controversial character ... They hate Bethany for being a woc ...

Sorry for the rant, I've just been so frustrated with seeing everything... Plan to block all hotd tags and certain creators because honestly I just pop by on tumblr to browse through things and sometimes read a fic or two but lately the amount of bad behaviour I've seen in this fandom from writers or just random hateful folk have just ruined the whole experience for me.

I totally get you nonnie & I’m so sorry you feel this way, especially with s2 just days away from airing…

I do think as unfortunate as it is, majority of this fandom is actually quite heinous and disgusting. the behaviour I’ve seen towards the cast members and towards each other in this space is so hostile and vile, I’m openly ashamed to be part of it. all this back and forth bullshit with TG vs TB is just actual fucking nonsense. like who gives an actual shit? there’s an entire genocide happening but let’s ignore that and rip each other’s heads off about fictional people… humanity at its finest.

I’m actually being deadass when I say, I’m so over this discourse between the teams regarding HOTD. like no team is better than the other, that was the whole point of the story.

hence why, I’m trying to remove myself a little bit from the fandom space especially on tumblr. only trying to focus my energy and interest into the story / show itself.

after all the drama that unfolded especially in this fandom these last few months, there’s a lot of hypocritical behaviour and I’ve honestly got no energy anymore.

more important things in life than arguing with twats on the internet.

so I definitely recommend removing yourself from toxic people in this fandom, whether you need to ghost or block them. you’ll be saving yourself 🫶🏻

sending you only good vibes anon, and I hope you can find some solace in my little corner. that’s what I can offer to anyone that feels the same!

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Okokok i think i know what you're talking about!

Is the post about how Undertale Au fans have claimed the "utau" term and how it was originally for a singing sofware??? If yes, Op blocked you bc they're a fan of the software and follows the tag on Tumblr, but its full of Undertale stuff, so they just blocks people to not see this type of content anymore.

Nothing personal!!

OH! good to know! and yes thats the right post LOL

i wanted 2 tell everybody thats why i use the utmv tag instead (i think ppl have asked about it before idk i dont remember) but yeah!

i used to be rly into vocaloid and some utau things before likeee 2014 or so so i totally got the sentiment

im assuming they block ppl from the undertale tag straight up bc i have never ever used the utau tag (cuz i already knew) and i am just on the undertale and undertale au tags. all time anyway. so i get it

[chaos0pikachu]

get 2 know me meme

tagged by my buddy, my pal @lugarn <3

Do you make your bed?

lol

What’s your favorite number?

idk I hate math

What is your job?

wouldn't you like to know weather boy?

If you could go back to school, would you?

shoot me into the sun before you send me back to college

Can you parallel park?

hahahahaha

A job you had that would surprise people?

something in a mall idk if that would surprise ppl other than the youths who don't know what malls are anymore

Do you think aliens are real?

yeah sure why not but they're probably way to busy to bother with us

Can you drive a manual car?

my hatred of driving is only matched by my hatred of coffeeshop owner vegas aus

What��s your guilty pleasure?

guilt is for the weak, that said, the Top Gun movies

Tattoos?

I have 1 and if it weren't for capitalism I would have more

Favorite color?

purple

Favorite type of music?

god I listen to a large range of music in a ton of different languages it'd be easier to list what music I don't like tbh - taylor swift, metal, some country

Do you like puzzles?

no, my brain is scrambled and my hands are small

Any phobias?

yes so many, but I'll never say that's how I become a char in an EAP or Junji Ito short story

Favorite childhood sport?

sitting on the bench basking in the sun for 30mins

Do you talk to yourself?

baby we're on tumblr of course I do

What movies do you adore?

to many to list truly, I love movies I've watched everything from pretentious arthouse garbage like Rubber to shoulda been best picture winner like Brokeback Mountain to direct to tape nonsense like secret obsession to big blockbusters like the marvels I love movies right now what's on my list to watch is Taboo, and The Untouchables. I'm also planning to rewatch Godzilla (1954) and Kong (1933). I'm debating on whether to get a MUBI subscription MAX has older films but since the merger their catalogue has gotten all fucky I hate it I hate them so much.

Y'all will have to come into my askbox with like specific genres for movies I adore cause I can honestly not say lol

Coffee or tea?

oh cafeito all day

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

taller

[royalarms]

GET TO KNOW THE WRITER .

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? i love noctis . final fantasy xv is my favorite game of all time and i've put ungodly hours into it , but fun fact ! i actually wrote prompto from 2016-2020/2021ish ( i dont remember haha ) but immediately the game became my favorite final fantasy game , and then eventually topped my passion for kingdom hearts and crisis core and just . became my number one . i still wanted a way to experience and express my love for it , but my personality had shifted sooo much over the past several years and prompto just didn't fit for me anymore , so i opted for noctis . gave him a go and ended up connecting with him on a level i would have never though LOL . i've always really really loved and enjoyed his character but writing a protagonist always gave me the willies so i never ventured into it . now im stuck here .

is there anything you don’t like to write? there are several things i WON'T write , but i don't know if there's anything i particularly dislike . i feel like if i have the right writing partner we can make most anything fun .

is there anything you really enjoy writing? i love writing things i've never written before ! new characters , new interactions , cool plots i've never written out , etc . i like to keep it exciting .

do you write in silence or do you play music? i either listen to lyricless music or write in silence . every once in awhile i can write with songs with lyrics on but it has to be really quiet . i'll turn on my character playlists in those moments , but i honestly think i do my best writing in silence .

do you plan your replies or wing them? both ! i don't have an explanation here , it just depends on the thread and the plot (if any) and when and how inspiration strikes .

do you enjoy shipping? yes . as long as the age gap isn't weird or intense toxicity is going on , i'm USUALLY down for most things :)

what’s your alias/name? aster >:) age? 25 birthday? march 29 favorite color? red ! favorite song? ohhh shoot . i love linkin park for my favorite band , but favorite SONG ? let me check my most replayed on spotify LOL . um. scatterbrain by kxllswxtch , voices in my head by falling in reverse , and numb by the used 💀 all of them are negative tw if anyone wants to listen last movie you watched? i literally do not know , i don't watch a lot of movies last show you watched? the wit/cher last song you listened to? listening to squishy caterpillars riding on bullets by istasha ( negative n drug tw ) ............. favorite food? curry and adobo :) favorite season? spring ! do you have a tumblr best friend? i dont love the phrase "tumblr best friend" idk what that entails but i have three ppl i love dearly and talk to a lot ! @otlaw , @starshcwer , @onegil ❤️❤️❤️

tagged by: i stole thisss

tagging : you should steal it too :)

[boydepartment]

ive noticed you tend to apologise a lot when youre tired and taking a break 😅 you shouldnt do that. youre a human, of course you'd feel tired sometimes. hope youre taking enough rest and recovering soon, no pressure to take and accept requests.

im sorry your interview went weird, but its good you pulled back the moment you found it sketchy. hopefully youd get a chance to accomplish your dream sometime soon in the future! take care jayjay

-🎄

hi it’s okay 🎄 anon :) i’m gonna use your ask to talk abt something if that’s okay, this isn’t @ you, i pinky promise.

i’m gonna be honest after valentine’s day i might just leave this account ? i don’t think ill delete anything but i just can’t be on tumblr or read any of the content i used to. i talked about it a bit a couple days ago i just want to elaborate more.

it makes me really just idk :/ i don’t like the community at all anymore and it’s been declining my mental for a bit. i love enha and all my people in the different groups i like, but i really really hate how some ppl write them and it just freaks me out REALLY bad. ESPECIALLY RIKI. like fuck some of you guys are so weird bruh…. and shameless. like you have no respect and don’t even on the “it’s not that serious.” you’re fucking weird. period. there’s no reason to make some of the shit you guys say public at all.

it’s been talked abt more recently how dubcon and dark fics are more common now and i can’t keep scrolling past it and seeing it. it freaks me out that people will write about actual people like that especially someone who lived at the receiving end of abuse like that. why would you want someone you love to be put in the situation of the abuser? like it doesn’t click to me and sometimes even scrolling past and seeing the tags and send me into a bad episode so i just can’t anymore. i don’t know how people think that’s okay to push their coping mechanism that’s darker and extremely damaging on an actual HUMAN BEING. coping mechanism or not that’s fucking weird. they may be idols but they are human beings too.

i’ve also had a few asks in my anon that are just straight up rude, demanding, or calling me weird for liking riki at all? like you are attacking the wrong girl i have nothing but respect for him. those anons are just stressing me out aswell and it’s just too much. i’m exhausted constantly being disrespected. tumblr is supposed to be a platform where i can get away and get lost in lighthearted stories and it’s not that for me anymore.

i might come back after i leave on valentine’s day but i need time to actually enjoy kpop like i used to. the fans are ruining it for me and it’s just been making me really depressed. i can’t even go on tiktok sometimes because of the fan bases. i’ve always been very open with you guys and like, i need to pull back from these fan bases and take care of myself. i barely eat, sleep, or enjoy anything anymore(that’s due to offline stuff but being on tumblr doesn’t help any of that at all). i miss having fun and the communities are ruining it.

[peccaberry]

i saw your tags on the post about the v*da app and i cant believe they dm'd you over a neg review! i already didn't trust them since they are a mental health app that uses AI (I've seen how other b*tterhelp did ppl) but the fact they went out of their way to dm you seals it even more! did they want you to delete what you said or what? it's so sketch that tumblr is promoting an app like this

To be fair they were very polite (mostly just trying to convince me no they were a very good app actually and I wasn't giving it a fair shot. )

They did not ask me to remove the message but it was implied they were upset about it. I think they tried to offer me assistance if I wasn't able to pay for it (that really was not the problem I had) but I did not invite them to DM me and it pissed me off.

I told them respectfully to stop dming and they did. Why a **company** is trying to argue against tag criticism by dming people is beyond me but it was unprofessional regardless of how polite they were.

Unfortunately I deleted the conversation from my inbox because being DMED by a freaking company (derogatory) creeped me out and I didn't want to keep seeing it in my dms so I can't tell you exactly what they said but I'm sure some of my followers remember me reblogging a post they blazed and tagging it saying it seemed scammy.

I actually looked back and I think they somehow managed to get my tag taken off that blazed post because I couldn't see it anymore. I feel like they are super sensitive to criticism and I'll be interested to see how this all turns out. I'm not convinced they intend on being scammy but from what I saw on the app when I downloaded it to check it out and their behavior I don't trust them.

Anyway don't pay a mental health app that uses AI for advice and uses a subscription model to "help" LGBT people. They are claiming to be LGBT themselves but I don't think that changes much about the nature of these kind of "self help" apps being a bit predatory. They give off this really weird new-agey vibe too (idk if that makes sense but it's the way they talk that seems off.)

Also save your money for actual professional help if you need it and not an AI app. Especially not one being promoted by Tumblr who loves shoving scams in our faces. (Tumblr live shout out)

You can find much better LGBT support and understanding within your own community without it being sold to you. Lots of love to everyone struggling and real help is out there even if it's probably not this app that's gonna do it.