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stay by my side | tsukishima kei
— now playing: die with a smile by bruno mars & lady gaga
If the world was ending I'd wanna be next to you If the party was over And our time on Earth was through I'd wanna hold you just for a while And die with a smile
— synopsis: getting tsukishima kei to say 'I love you' more often is harder than you'd think
— genre: only a tinge of hurt, more comfort, needy tsukki
— word count: 1k
The first thing he sees every morning is you. The last thing he sees before he closes his eyes for the night is always you.
No matter what may be happening between the two of you, the reassurance of knowing you'd be there in the morning and at the end of the day always calmed his tumultuous heart.
So when he opens his eyes in the middle of the night and you're not there, he jolts up in a panic.
His hand quickly skims across your side of the bed, briefly wondering if he may be delirious in his half-asleep state. When he notices the sheets are still warm, he grabs his glasses and slips out of bed in a hurry.
The kitchen, the bathroom, and the living room are empty. When he finally stops to catch his breath, he notices your keys aren't hanging by the front door, an indication that you've left the apartment.
The realization makes his heart stop.
He should've apologized earlier. He should've known you'd get sick of him. You were always so patient with him, letting him keep you at arm's length for the first year of your relationship while he got used to skinship and physical affection. You even dealt with his mood swings, and communicated openly with him as much as possible so he could understand your perspective when the two of you fought.
And yet, he reversed all that progress last night when he ignored your feelings.
How can he expect you to read between the lines all the time? He had previously promised you he wouldn't treat you like that again, and yet he took advantage of your endless patience and did it again.
“Kei?”
His head turns quickly, wide eyes meeting your surprised gaze. You're standing against the front of your apartment building in your pajamas. He's certain he looks even more disheveled, having just rolled out of bed in a panic.
“What're you doing out of bed?” He asks quickly, stepping over to stand in front of you.
Your gaze softens, and his uneasy heart finally finds a moment to relax at the sight of you right in front of him.
“Just needed some fresh air, couldn't sleep,” you say softly. There's a moment of silence between the two of you before you reach up and gently brush your fingers over his jaw.
He can't help but close his eyes and relax into your touch. He let's himself indulge in the moment further, his own hand resting on top of your own to keep your palm against his cheek.
“I don't want to.”
“Kei, please,” you pleaded, “I just want an ‘I love you' every once in a while. I'm not asking you to profess your love to me everyday.”
“I don't think it's needed. You know I do, why do I need to say it too?” He grumbled, setting his glasses down on the bedside table.
“Hearing you say it and convincing myself that your actions mean something are two different things,” you retorted, and you frowned at the way he rolled his eyes.
The two of you have been arguing over the same thing ever since you brought it up at the dinner table just a couple of hours ago.
“Don't be stupid,” he finally snapped, and he ignored the hurt that flashed through your eyes. “Just go to bed. I'm sick of having this talk with you.”
He turned his back towards you, but he still heard your shaky ‘okay, goodnight’.
“What're you doing out here?” you repeat his question, tilting your head curiously.
He hesitates to answer, eyes still closed as if doing so could buy him more time.
He's sure you saw the panic in his eyes when he heard you call his name. In truth, he wasn't entirely sure why he panicked so much. The thought of you not next to him sent a coldness down his spine that he just couldn't live with.
“...came to find you,” he finally answers, amber eyes opening to meet your gaze.
The hand on his cheek slides up to gently run through his tousled blonde bed head.
“I'm not going anywhere,” you whisper softly.
His heart skips a beat, and he can't help it anymore. His arms reach out to wrap around your waist, tugging you close so he can bury his face in the crook of your neck.
You saw right through him, reading him like a book.
“I thought you left me,” he admits, voice shaking. One of your hands rests gently on the back of his head, the other lightly running up and down his broad back.
“Where would I go?” you try to joke, “my home is right here with you, Kei.”
You squashed his insecurities almost instantly with just a couple of words. Your ability to ease all his worries so seemingly easily always amazed him.
“I love you,” he confesses suddenly, and he feels the way your frame shakes as you laugh quietly.
He wants to provide that same comfort and sense of stability you give him. If saying ‘I love you’ more often was what you needed to feel that, then he'd do it.
“I'm sorry,” he whispers quietly after his confession. When he pulls back slightly to scan your expression, you're staring up at him with that look in your eyes. That look that tells him--’I love you more than I can even express’.
Your fingers reach up to cup both his cheeks, tugging him down so you can kiss him gently.
“I love you too,” you decide to settle with those four words, and he rests his forehead against yours.
“Don't leave me,” he murmurs.
“I'm not leaving you,” you promise.
“Stay with me,” he quietly requests.
“I will, I'm not leaving you,” you reassure him again, and there's a hint of a smile on your lips. “Though, I sort of like seeing you this vulnerable.”
He rolls his eyes and makes a move to pull away from you. You catch him with a laugh, arms wrapping around his waist.
“...I'll tell you I love you more often,” he admits defeat almost begrudgingly, and you smile up at him.
“Okay,” you whisper, “Thank you.”
“Can we go back to bed now?”
He slips his hand into yours, and the way your fingers instinctively lace with his own melts his heart.
“Yeah, let's go home.”
#haikyuu scenarios#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#tsukishima kei#tsukishima kei scenarios#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima angst#tsukishima kei fluff#tsukishima kei angst#tsukishima x reader#idk how ppl tag on tumblr anymore#or how ppl format fics lol i'm old#haikyuu angst#hurt/comfort
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molten/molted/molded
also yes i do actually have a flamingo mug thats sorta chipped, and it is a little ugly, here it is :
its not super chipped, but i was still devastated when i found out
#HI. WILL YOU GUYS LET ME POST PRETENTIOUS POETRY#idk i was just thinking about how im doing a lot better than before and. being sympathetic to the zoned-out escapism i did to survive then#im not that person anymore and feels weird to be in her body? but im glad shes passed away#i dont knowwwww. it feels like im a lizard shedding my skin every year and occasionally ill look at my old molts and be like wow#i used to fit in that thing. i used BE that thing. but now im not#dont take this too seriously i mean its not a vent its just me thinkin about how im doing great and little louie was not HAHAHA#im really proud of this actually i like how the glass effect came out and i like the colors and the poem.... i cooked !!!#this is also practice for lineless/painted art and its not too bad for a beginner#anyways. i like poetry and more ppl should make it casually this is poetry propaganda#uhhh what do i tag this as#poetry#art#artists on tumblr#????? i never know how to tag non-fandom art#anyways thats it :]
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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😶🌫️
#have yall forgotten how to use tumblr or.#i hate hate HATE complaining but out of 500 notes there are three reblogs with tags like am i going crazy why does nobody say anything#did yall hate the fic or what. bc thats the vibe im getting#im not gonna leave tumblr but i really see why ppl do bc its so disheartening#genuinely i am talking to a brick wall#it really makes me want to not put in the effort to write anymore if no one is gonna say anything to my face#sorry for the vent post but im just frustrated#idk if its my fault or tumblrs fault or no ones fault but#like idk what else to do other than beg ppl to interact. and its not just readers i am fully shaming other authors bc you KNOW how bad it is#and you still refuse to read your friends work#how can you call urself mutuals if you never fucking reblog from each other#its so fake and toxic and im sick of it sorry#im not here to cause drama and i know i sound like a whiny bitch but jesus christ you guys
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I keep forgetting I can't seem to get the current version of xkit to work on my new laptop and going to do stuff that it let me do fjldksafjdlsaj
#text post#im p sure the mutual marker thing was a feature w/them bc i'm missing them on everyone that#as far as I know I was still a mutual with#then again I did drop like. fifteen followers over the last week#but that usually happens whenever I start actually posting my personal thoughts on my personal blog lmao#have also gotten a few messages both politely and not so politely asking me to essentially shut the fuck up re: my personal posts#idk what to tell y'all on that bc like. i have a lot of folks I follow n' enjoy who post just as much /even more than me re: personal stuff#I think im just particularly irritating even when I'm trying really hard not to be and try to edit my posts down/keep them under readmores#but im trying to be better#not trying hard enough tho apparently and this tag essay probably won't help but. idk.#i think we're all allowed to be as irritating/post as much personal stuff as we want on our blogs#but i also think im still operating uselessly on how tumblr was a few years ago. ppl don't like that anymore it seems#and that's okay but I gotta work on catching up to that and do better#anyway. it's possible i did lose most of my mutuals and tbh it's not a big deal it's just a lot of ppl at once like. damn.#makes me wonder what the last straw was just out of curiosity#bc if that's really what happened then im down to like. maybe three or four mutuals left and it hasn't been that low since I first started#on here back in like. tail end of hs beginning of college#I also keep missing the quick reblog feature which was my fave but. someday I will figure out why xkit isn't working for me#and i will fix it. at a time when im not sick and feeling cruddy lol
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Day 15 - Are there any ships you dislike?
alrighty so. there are only rlly four i ‘dislike’, and the first three… it’s more complicated than anything, it’s not entirely utter pure-n-simple disdain. it’s less about the ships themselves (in two of the cases, anyway) and more about how they seem to be perceived by the fandom + how much they dominate everything. other ships exist, guys! the other characters exist! anyway ill try not to be mean but i am gonna be petty, lol
so for starters, yeah, jack x ianto. i have a very specific view of it, that i do enjoy, but the fandom seems to be doing something else entirely and i've developed some resentment despite myself. especially bc it’s overrated as fuck. don’t get me wrong, it’s iconic, as far as being culturally significant gay rep, but if im honest idk how well they hold up in 2024? i thought their relationship in s1 and s2 of the show was lackluster at best. poorly written bread crumbs. and yeah i know it was big for 2006 but im just personally kind of offended that they could show them sucking face but not show the intricacies of why the hell ianto would fall for a guy who shot his girlfriend down?? like, their relationship is inherently dark and angsty to me and im interested in exploring that, bc the show certainly doesn’t (initially) bother to, and a lot of the fan content i see is either fluffy (??????????), or angsty in a Tragique way, or is just kind of… fetishy and whumpy? people slot them into a Specific Kind of Dynamic and it grosses me tf out. so the fandom culture rubs me wrong, and then it’s just… such a bummer to like owen and tosh and gwen in a fandom that only seems to prioritize this one ship. there are 22k fics in the torchwood ao3 tag, and 13k of them are janto. now, all that being said… they do intrigue me and endear me, just a bit. but it took the audios to make me give a fuck about them, which is sad.
on that same note - i have the same relationship with tosh x owen, but i'm significantly less fond of it, cuz it just plain rubs me wrong. i like them in theory, so i spent months trying to figure out how to make them work and what other people are seeing that they think is so endearing and cute - i just can't find it. owen's treatment of tosh is just about the only thing i can't stand about him. he treats everyone poorly, but most of the rest of the cast defends themself (or even hit back, like ianto and gwen, and thats why i ship them with him! it’s spicy! i love balanced unhealthy dynamics in fiction hfdsjkf i can’t lie) - but tosh just lets him, creating an unhealthy power imbalance where she’s just getting hurt over and over again, and it makes me wanna fucking punch him cuz she does Not deserve that. i want him far away from her lmao. except under certain circumstances, cuz i have written fic about them, and i’ve read like three rlly good ones (and the main link between them is tosh stands up for herself and puts him in his place! i HATE how he walks all over her in canon ughhhhhhhhh). additionally, i do admittedly enjoy the angst of their canon arc. i just think fandom throwing them together and making it cutesy is lazy, uncreative, and an injustice to both characters. i think the SHOW throwing them together was an injustice to both characters, especially tosh’s. they're tragic and compelling, ill give them that, but theyre not sweet, and i don't think they'd be good for each other.
(also worth noting on a show where everyone has tension w each other, imo barrowman & gareth and naoko & burn pull it off the least convincingly and have little to no chemistry. like every other duo just kind of sparks in some way or another, and neither of those duos do. which SUCKS bc they’re the canon ones. but it’s also heavily poor writing like they were doing the best w what they had. grr. like i still dont know what the fuck ianto likes about jack or what tosh likes about owen 😭 that’s ridiculous!)
the other ship i’m petty about is jack x john hart. i just think it’s far too popular for what it is. idek why that is, do we have a substantial amount of buffy fans in the fandom? don’t get me wrong, i liked john in the show + i liked their relationship as well, but i'll always be annoyed when a minor character gets more attention than the fascinating main ones.
and lastly i hate john x ianto, because i respect ianto, lmao. i can’t lie, if he was my fav i’d probs ship it HJFKDSHFK i love putting my favs in awful situations. but as is it just grosses me out. get him outta there!!
tldr: i don’t interact w the john hart side of the fandom, and if a fic is tagged 'jack/ianto tosh/owen gwen/rhys' i probably won’t read it 😷
#tdot#txt#i feel meannn fdshfjkd#idk how tumblr search works anymore i RLLY hope this doesnt go in any tags cuz im not interested in hurting ppl's feelings u kno#i dont wanna be smth negative in another person's fandom experience#lord knows i block owen haters HJKFSD cuz it bums me out to see so#but! yeah these r my thots n opinions
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these were supposed to be illusts but since taru's holding the sword with the wrong hand cause i'm dum dum they'll stay in their sketch/draft stage... for now at least
#kos#kingdom of sun#art#sketch#oc#original character#blood#blood tw#tw blood#idk how ppl these days tag trigger warnings let me know#i'm not used to tumblr anymore
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I only just realized recently a good chunk of my og twst mutuals i don’t SEE around as much :[
#either due to not posting twst as much anymore#or not using tumblr as much#not that I really talked directly w/them but#i like being passing ships with familiar usernames lol#a few chats here and there tho u know how it goes#and also. seeing their art 😭 the main reason I follow ppl is for art lol#that and just character yapping time lol#that and some ppl I follow that weren’t mutuals….. I miss them too…#tho sometimes it’s just a matter of not catching them on the dash#since I’ve always followed like ten billion people#blogs drown each other out lol so it’s part of why it takes me a while to notice#if someone phased out ….#still. the few tags I frequent regularly would have familiar faces that shifted over time#jami/azu tag where the mutuals go to graze lol#idk where this train of thought was going it’s like 2am#reminiscing…… (????)
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xposting from twitter but
kinda related to my other post, but guys can we please be more considerate about camp entre fanworks? i’ve seen people be unhappy with this or that being focused on (swagtre. it’s swagtre.) and wanting this or that but like
1. there’s /plenty/ of old art (and some new! i’ve drawn some!) where they’re solo
2. be the change you wish to see in the world
i don’t wanna be a dick but like i can see what you guys say pretty easily. im not some huge media producer who doesn’t pay attention. im a small creator who draws his oc kissing another oc 😭 (im not even indie!!! i’m even smaller than that!!! i don’t make ANY money from truffula flu or anything like that!! to some of you guys i might feel like a big deal but im just some guy in a niche fandom of a niche fandom of a niche fandom. i’m an absolute nobody outside this teeny tiny corner of the internet!!)
be polite, please
ever since camp entre picked back up last year i’ve seen ppl get more and more uh…bold i guess..with what they say and i just want to nip that behavior right there in the bud bc camp entre (or any truffula flu story for that matter) is not Big Media
none of us get or have gotten royalties or whatever from it. camp entre was a former-friend group’s public rp. keep that in mind when you say stuff in tumblr tags or use searchable words/phrases please. any one of us could be looking at any time
if you want more solo entre stuff, you can find it in my #entre tag (it’s all entres but there’s that truffula flu guy is in there) or #swag for that guy
yes there’s still a lot of ship art in there but it’s how i tag so…my bad
OR you can head to this old blog where the whole point was to be a place for me to reblog ALL the stuff that had entre in it and i even avoided reblogging most swagtre (because, go figure, there were ppl complaining about the amount of swagtre back then too) so it’s entre-focused stuff, check it out if you haven’t:
also if anyone dislikes swagtre so much i got bad news for them abt what was canon & continues to be canon 😭)
but either way let’s kinda…lay off the people creating things for fun and for love because we aren’t seeing what we, personally, want to see
and i especially won’t let anyone make ME feel bad for drawing something that brings me joy. i got enough misery in my life as it is
i got reasons and such for why i only draw/reshare/talk abt what i do but it’s nobody’s business tbqh. like i know it’s rough when im basically the only one of the original group that’s available because most (if not all) of the rest want to lay it to rest (as is their right) and so im the only one making “canon” stuff for camp entre anymore and i have a very loud muse for swagtre
but like idk i just want ppl to have fun so like
if you aren’t seeing your fav/ship enough then draw, write, or commission it! more stuff is always good stuff!! do macaroni art, edits, cosplay! whatever u want! it’s all cool!
#txt#but yeah idk#i just got home from a vacation so im re evaluating stuff that’s adding to my stress that i can do smth abt#and this is one of them#it’s not a lot of you and im not nor ever trying to ‘vaguepost’ it’s just a large enough number i feel a whole post is better#also to bring visibility so nobody else starts thinking im okay with it
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we gotta stop all of this
you guys are saying that people should write whatever they want and then you heavily criticize and bully them when they share thoughts on smut or porn. it's really hypocritical. i am neutral on this, idc what people write and following the logic that many of you claim to have (people can write whatever they want to about tlou and ellie!) you shouldn't be getting upset when someone says that they don't care for all of the smut under tlou tags and would like to see more fluff and angst. on the other end, you shouldn't tell people what to write, if they want to write smut, you shouldn't care. i've seen a couple controversial posts going around one of them was a girl who complained about smut but had also posted porn links to twitter, which is ridiculous idk how you can even dig yourself out of that lmao. the other one i've seen quite a bit of people bring up as an argument was a more popular writer on here pointing out how common porn addiction is and people really found a way to twist her words, she said explicitly in several posts that the smut and porn wasn't the issue but if you find yourself craving compulsively (needing it to help you sleep, having increased tolerance to it and needing more or more explicit content to satisfy yourself, withdrawal symptoms, that typo stuff. which are addiction symptoms if you don't agree you need to do some research and stop being in denial.) that you may have an addiction to porn. i've seen a ton of people say that she was claiming everyone who read or wrote smut was addicted to porn which is far from the truth and i was shocked when i went on her account and saw that she posted nothing of the sort. pro-smut people are claiming that tlou-warriors are trying to start issues but to me, it seems that they are the ones trying to start issues when they blow an informational post out of context and spread lies about the author who wrote it, i actually can't find her account anymore but if anyone knows it pls lmk. many have said that smut authors are going to get bullied off the platform while actively bullying authors who don't like smut off the platform lol, seperate the artist from the art. as for tlou-warriors harassing pro-smut people, leave them alone, just scroll or block the account if the content you don't like keeps showing up in your feed. that goes both ways. "but people are flooding the tags!" okay? use your own logic and scroll if you don't like it. this is tumblr, ppl are going to write so let them. what if you don't agree? who cares everyone is entitled to their opinions whether you like it or not.
#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie x you#fanfic#addiction#tlou2#the last of us part ii#tlou ellie#tlou 2#smut#ellie smut#ellie williams smut#ellie williams fluff#ellie tlou2#joel miller#joel tlou
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brocal for the ship bingo?
The OTP to end all other OTPs... (Man. This wound up being basically Cori's Masterpost of BroCal. AKA... this got long and has some images, since I realized I can post my own art directly instead of just a text link to it lol.)
Wasn't actually expecting this to wind up with a bingo? But I got basically 2?? (Will explain the lighter heart later.) This is A LONG post, and definitely gonna get SUGGESTIVE, bc man, am I obSESSED with BroCal. I'm just gonna go thru each checked box, since I don't know how else to structure this post lol.
Read More to save ppl's dashboards:
I want them to make out with blood: OKAY. I HAVE A WHOLE THING PLANNED FOR THIS CONCEPT. I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT JUST YET BC I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE IT. I'm obsessed with this one fanart of Bro licking Lil Cal, and it spurred on an idea I outlined and really wanna write: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/739969858334294016/hiiii-mutual-i-am-secrecy-asking-if-u-have-anymore
((Sorry for the plain text links, Tumblr app is NOT cooperating with me right now to add hyperlinks. I'd post the image directly if that one was mine.))
Basically, I just really need to see Bro and Cal making out with blood in their mouths, and I started a whole convoluted, unrelated outline in order to make that hapen. It'll probably just be a really short thing that ends at the uh climax, since otherwise it's gonna end up sadstuck. And I don't like sadstuck lol.
Undeniably t4t: Bro and Dirk are always trans for me, and Lil Cal's got that uh... what percentage did I calculate it out to be? 13% of Dirk is in Lil Cal [ My shitpost calculations: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/746702663327072256/i-ran-out-of-tags-rambling-about-this-so-im-just ] so Lil Cal is at least 13% trans because of that much of Dirk being in him, plus however you feel about the other components being trans. LMAO this is ridiculous to type out. Moving on.
EDIT: FUTURE CORI INTERJECTING WITH A:
"Lil Cal Top Surgery Healing Progess: Day 1"
Terrible for each other affectionate/derogatory: I don't even know where the affectionate/derogatory split occurs. I multiship BroCal as both Bro/normal puppet Lil Cal and as Bro/evil juju puppet Lil Cal, and whatever combination in between or outside of that. Terrible in that Bro is so obsessed with Cal that he doesn't have normal relationship/social skills and uses Lil Cal as both a crutch and motivator alternately, in a terrible cycle, or maybe rather... spiral. And also terrible in that Bro is caught in the allure of playing the role of puppeteer while also being a puppet for the darker parts of Lil Cal, whether he actively knows it or not. (Honestly though, I feel like it's dismissive if you try to blame all of Bro's faults on Lil Cal like this tho, which is why I tend towards liking Lil Cal as just a regular puppet a lil bit more. Or at least, a regular mildly supernatural puppet since that can be a little more entertaining if Cal can get into mischief while no one's looking or give off the vibes of his mood more directly, rather than like entirely inanimate or 'just LE, trapped in a puppet body.' Again, I like all of these concepts.) ((I mean that can also be a whole post of its own, like, by the time Bro gets ahold of Lil Cal, are any of the other components still alive in there? Like, are ARquius and Gamzee still in there or did Caliborn kill and consume them entirely? Idk how it works, man. This is why I like Lil Cal as his own person, maybe just influenced by the feelings of the others. LaCroix: CalGamARquius essenced water. Lil Croix.))
They need to get weirder with it: YES YES. 1000% YES. I need entirely shameless Bro doing entirely shamless things to Lil Cal. I want them inseparable and doing unspeakable things to each other. I want Bro taking full advantage of Cal having a puppet body and all the intimacy that comes with making repairs and being elbow-deep in stuffing.
Playing with them like dolls cute/psychological torture: This is the same divide as with the 'terrible for each other' point, so I'm just gonna go with the cute one, since the torture one is self-explanatory. I want them fucking married. Like. Full mushy cute romance type of relationship that Bro has never felt for any of the people in his life (cough aromantic cough). I made this comic not too long ago, and I often fondly look back on it, because I adore the concept of Bro being lovey and romantic and everything out of character around Lil Cal because he feels safe and loved and comfortable around Cal:
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/750602227910131712/brocal-4-lyfe-so-i-had-this-idea-of-dave-being ]
I made a post a long, long time ago (not gonna link that one bc it was personal and I was being very obviously mentally ill ["C'mon, like you're not being obviously mentally ill while typing paragraph upon paragraph about BroCal still in 2024 like 10 years later??" Fair.]) But the gist of it was that, like, having objectophilia or objectum sexuality is like, from an outsider pov, it's a way to express love to yourself. You filter all your self-hate through the object you love, and you get back unconditional love in return.
Lil Cal is never gonna hate Bro, no matter what Bro does. As a regular puppet, Lil Cal doesn't have the capacity for hate. And so that only brings them closer, since Cal is never gonna reject Bro for any reason. (Back to being a crutch. RSD is real, and Dave is probably a big trigger for that since he's not on the same wavelength of weird as Bro [not blaming Dave, obviously, this is a post about BroCal].) Bro can experience receiving positive attention from Lil Cal, without feeling 'fake' or uncool by expressing that same attention or affection directly to his own self. (Things are always done through multiple layers with the Striders, aren't they?) ((And I'm not saying Lil Cal doesn't love Bro, or that their relationship is just pretend - it's real, I'm just like, 'What's going on behind the curtain in the mundane situation?/ How is the relationship appealing?' Lil Cal luvs Bro 5eva 4 lyfe and that's a hard fact. Could cut diamonds with that shit.)) Example: maybe Bro is dealing with a bout of body/gender dysphoria and is trying to take out his frustration with working out, and it's not helping, even if he's powered through a set better than normal. Then, he notices the way Lil Cal is watching him, and he can feel the excitement seeping off Cal. He can sense the echoes of a wolf-whistle ring out through his mind, and it's like. Okay, none of that shit from before matters, he's got all the validation he needs right there in Lil Cal. Maybe flex in Cal's direction, Bro?
Oh, so back to being cute: isn't it wonderful how the template maker phrased it as 'playing dolls'? But yeah, I want all the mush and everything. Bro has a whole wardrobe for Lil Cal for every minor event that occurs in the Strider household. I want them going on genuine dates. Maybe even... holding hands. Bro blushes for the first time since he was 16. He even gets to take Lil Cal with him when he goes out to DJ or put on a show. Not to mention the whole website business. (I've talked about Cal's role in that before, but I'll mention it in a moment...)
They will die in a heart shaped pool of blood: I mean, kinda did happen, even tho Lil Cal didn't perma die right there. I don't think this one needs any explanation, since it basically happens in canon.
'You should see the other guy...': Okay, so. About 11 years ago, I had a really great idea. About how smuppets enter this world. I expanded on it in the following more-recent post (adult only content lol): https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741683686717669376/back-in-the-day-my-friends-called-me-insane-when-i
To sum it up, whenever Bro makes a new smuppet design, he then gives it a video debut on his website, where uh, Lil Cal births the smuppet like it's a horror movie scene, fake blood and poly-fil gore all over the place as the smuppet crawls out from the viscera. Bro then gets to play aftercare by lovingly and gently cleaning up and restuffing Lil Cal as they get to admire their new creation and rake in the dough lol.
So it's technically not a 'you should see the other guy' kinda situation, but it does involve one of them being... idk what word would describe it. Injured by the other? Usually a character loses a fight and says this to act like they got out of it better than the other guy, but... We could have someone knock on the door during the filming of a scene like that, and Bro has to answer it with fake blood up to his elbows, and be like 'You should see the other guy.' (But obviously, that's a terrible idea and would cause more trouble than it's worth... Maybe worth it for a persistent door to door salesperson, though.)
Though, I guess I should also say, I'm not opposed to Bro beating on Lil Cal in or out of the bedroom. Or in the case of animate Lil Cal, Cal choking out Bro. In or out of the bedroom, lol. Depends on the situation, like I said I will ship this ship any which way. But my preference for animate Lil Cal is to be like a totally normal puppet around Bro (or mushy in-love with Bro) and then evil-murder-puppet towards anyone else in Bro's life, like a... toxic yaoi guard puppet. (New Phrase Achievement Unlocked!) Bro brings home another guy to have sex, who tries to stay the night due to the late hour, but the guy wakes up shortly after to see Lil Cal standing there with a knife in the dark, eyes glowing red. Panic ensues when the guest screams and freaks out, and by the time Bro's got a light on, grabbing his sword, ready for a ninja vs ninja fight (bc an intruder would've had to bypass all the traps), Lil Cal is just innocently splayed across the desk chair, no knife in sight. Relevant post (well, the caption on the post too, saying how Bro can't seem to hold onto any relationships besides Lil Cal):
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741830516962164736/i-want-you-so-youre-mine-always-selfishly ]
Uh, lol, also Cal choking out Bro in the bedroom, adult only drawing: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/754328907438800896/i-wouldnt-wanna-be-my-ex-when-he-found-out-who
Thinking about them always and forever: Listen. My Tumblr as proof, I've had BroCal on the brain for at least 11 years at this point. Definitely longer, since I first started reading Homestuck. I fucking love puppets and dolls and plushies and I always have. Man, if I hadn't deleted Tweets (automated app I used to do, and I couldn't choose what to save) from when I was in high school, you could've seen me @ ing my fave band when they were taking lyric suggestions on a fan-inspired album, where I was telling them 'make a song where the theme is puppets' and, while I don't know if they saw that or took the suggestion (they had responded to me before bc they weren't huge yet), there is indeed a song titled "Puppets" on that album, and it was my favourite song on there. Point is, I was fated to ship BroCal before I even knew it existed.
Sicko 2 sicko communication: I mean, does this even need explaining? Bro and Cal aren't just on the same wavelength of freaky, they're the fucking source of the wavelength, and it's causing a feedback loop between them. And it does as feedback does, which is, it amplifies with time. (Going back to the spiral symbolism here, lol.) ((Actually, time can play a symbol here, too, I guess, but idk how to word it, I'm starting to run out of steam.))
Let them have a happy ending: God, I need this so badly. I know Bro's story ends in Homestuck, but like. Pls. Someone needs to officiate their wedding. Currently placing the dreambubble order, but I can't organize a wedding by myself. OH speaking of. In that lil comic I did above, where Bro is accepting Lil Cal's proposal, I had the Natural Born Killers wedding scene in mind. I was gonna draw that as a follow up, but I think I have too many WIPs going. Just two people on the run, saying "I do" in a scenic but completely ordinary roadside location. Idk why, I keep going back to that movie for things related to Bro (I mention it in a very important scene in a longer WIP I've been writing, as something Bro watched and internalized as a kid lol.) It's not the best movie lol. Anyway.
The devotion omg: I feel like I have already gotten my point across about this, but let me reiterate:
[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/735842968450269184/in-the-name-of-iconic-magical-girl-anime-ill ]
Bro and Lil Cal absolutely beat the shit outta Jack Noir before he gets prototyped. And even then, they fight together till the death, like. C'mon. Nothing more romantic than fighting a losing battle side by side. Also, like, Lil Cal having his own protective chest for safekeeping as seen in the Strider living room? Like, you don't just have a protective case for any old thing, especially something meant to be handled, especially something that is regularly used to smack other things/humans. What I'm saying is, Lil Cal is durable and resilient, and yet, Bro still has a case for transporting Cal safely. Oh, wait, I just thought of something funny, what if Lil Cal goes feral like a cat, and basically the chest is like a cat carrier so Bro can drive without being constricted lmaoooo, I've been typing for hours can you tell?
Kind of homophobic: Listen. I HAD a Cal. Took him to college. Staked my claim on the top bunk bc I am royalty. Proceeded to not have anywhere to set my water cup and had to use a cardboard box as a table up there. Spilled water. Melted Cal's sharpie-drawn face. And then proceeded to cry. I have a WIP of Lil Cal 2, but that requires actually remembering to work on him. I wanna do better by the pattern, too, since I rushed to finish the first. I have all the material! I have the project started! So it's just a matter of reordering my WIP priorities, honestly.
Where is all the fucking content?!: For realzz. I was actually venting about this the other day (didn't end up posting it), but it's like, either there's no BroCal content, or there IS BroCal content, but I can't reblog it for reasons I don't want to get into on this post. I'm dying of thirst in the ocean, basically. Whatever. This just means I need to make more BroCal content myself, which I am more than happy to do. I've just had a rough past few months, so I'm glad I got to type all this post out, and hopefully I can get back to creating soon.
Last one! I hope this one makes up for the absurd length of the post, it's prob my new fave idea I just came up with on the spot.
[TW drink spiking by a stranger mentioned in this.]
Committing atrocities as their silly little activities: I think we all know what this means, but I am going to ignore that elephant with my special x-ray vision. Because this is a BroCal post. I'm digging deep to the meat and bones of this. Honestly, this could go multiple routes, it depends on how you take your Lil Cal.
One could place emphasis on the 'guard' part of the, ahem ahem, toxic yaoi guard puppet. Maybe someone is actually trying to harm Bro, and Bro legit can't do anything for reasons outside of his control - let's say his drink got spiked a while after he invited a stranger home that he thought was chill. As Bro gets shoved down on the futon, his memory of the night is only a few flickers. Familiar orange plush, roiling around above him like a dancing windsock. Flashes of Lil Cal's face all distorted and stretched wide like a funhouse. J-Lo and Ice Cube on the TV. But when Bro is finally able to fully wake up in the morning, everything is as if he just got home alone last night and passed out on the futon. Cal looks totally normal and content tucked under Bro's warm arm. Except when Bro gets up, there is a pair of shoes too big to belong to him at the door. Maybe Bro knows. Maybe instinct tells him to run. Maybe he does, but he's running towards Lil Cal, every time.
#apologies for being entirely unhinged about brocal. this isnt even the half of it#the-meat-machine#asked#praying my internet posts this in one go in the correct format. rip to everyones dashboard if it doesnt#im not turning on my pc to correct it if i cant fix an upload error from mobile#homestuck#brocal#otp5eva#stridercest#long post#Cori.exe#Post.exe#im like staring at my phone scared to hit the post button bc if tumblr has a fit then idk what ill do#and its like okay i could just put my phone down and go to sleep.#but what if tumblr decides to post it AFTER IM ASLEEP AND CLOGS EVERYONE WHOS FOLLOWING ME'S DASH#if that readmore doesnt save where its supposed to... (has happened before)... i am genuinely so fucking sorry.#oh oKAY WAIT compromise. ill save it as a draft first so the bulk of the upload happens privately in case something goes wrong#bc knowing my internet and how i was fighting hyperlinks last night and today that still wont work. something is gonna go wrong#fingers crossed the draft saves tho i dont wanna copy all this shit from the 'in case of emergency' screenshots i took lol#anyway i really need to get ready for bed fuck lol literally took me hours to type this and its not even polished ughh#toxic yaoi guard puppet#omg tho 'lil cal top surgery' idea had me dying when i remembered theres canon cal sewn up like that#i gotta remember to post that separately tmr#i got this post draftes and gna post now. im seeby#oh wait#puppets#suggestive#striders#man if i wish i started w the last point but i dont have the energy to reorder everything#nini im going seep 4r this time
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tag game ✨
thanks for tagging me zey @thasorns ♥ i teared up at your addition about me, that is so sweet :( i miss our dff talks too! idk what you're into these days but would love to talk about some show with you again :')
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1. why did you choose your url?
bc am obsessed with one (1) man who belongs to another amazing guy ♥ (been thinking about an url change lately tho bc i'd like to put last twilight and the hurt it caused behind me but haven't found something else to tie myself to yet. maybe we are and phumpeem if the ending delivers?)
2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.
not really. the only side blog i have is my og url vishcount saved for nostalgia purposes but there's nothing on that blog
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
started on this hellsite (affectionate) on the lord's year 2013 and it shows
4. do you have a queue tag?
i don't use the queue much so no. you will only catch me reblogging like ten posts in a row when am online/in the mood and then going back to lurking again
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
i was into a bunch of animes and tumblr was filled with amazing fanart. i wanted to be able to look at them in peace
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
to show who my url is about ♥ mork my beloved
7. why did you choose your header?
wanted it to fit the theme. also i adore the last twilight rooftop kiss, it's one of the brightest spots of the show
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
most likely this the untamed edit from 2020. i was truly living my peak back then :'D tbh i feel like the whole of tumblr was living its peak when the untamed was airing and when we all lost it together for the longest time after
9. how many mutuals do you have?
way too many and i adore all of them, tho i probably forget or cannot recognize most of them. especially if you've changed your url/main fandom OR i have, we might not even know each other anymore haha
10. how many followers do you have?
more than i deserve and idk what all of you are even doing here but i like feeling like i'm part of some type of crowd ♥
11. how many people do you follow?
quite recently i unfollowed some inactive blogs and blogs about things i don't really care for anymore so my follow count is a nice number of 205
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
uh. i don't really know? do some posts from my finnish tumblr (suomitumppu) era count? :'D
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
am chronically online and i open this app like a fridge
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
no, not really. am not really one to share strong opinions, especially negative opinions, publicly online which i think is the cause of most arguments ppl have here. i'd rather just keep my peace and be nice
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts
mostly i don't like doing things when am told to do them
16. do you like tag games?
yes! it always makes me happy to know that someone is thinking about me and i do find these a lot of fun to do ^^
17. do you like ask games?
also yes. i just don't often reblog those bc i don't really have a lot of interactions on this site. if i find an ask game with very interesting questions, i might forward it to kiddo @i-am-just-a-kiddo and we do it together privately to enjoy it like that ♥
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
the first one that comes to mind is hanyi @ruanbaijie who i think deserves all the recognition for her absolutely amazing giffing skills ♥ she's also the sweetest so idk what's not to follow, make her even more famous if you can!
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
nope. idk if i function like that tbh. i have some huge friend crushes tho and want to be closer with some ppl a lot! not mentioning names bc am shy haha
but i want to say that monica @stormyoceans is very important to me these days. she brightens up my days and makes my whole fandom experience so much better by simply being her enthusiastic and authentic self ♥ never change!
and also jessi @oswlld who i still cannot believe is someone i can call my friend and bestie on this site. i am so happy we've gotten to share bad buddy, vice versa, and last twilight together! also happy to hear about your life at times and to just share silly things with you ♥
third one i want to mention is shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim who always manages to stand out in a positive way. we don't interact much but i cannot help but feel very giddy about their presence on my dash. they leave the best tags and every time they reblog any of my edits with their tags, they manage to make me feel like i've made it and my edit was worth the effort :'D so thank you!
20. tags?
want to tag at least @psychic-waffles @foxofninetales @hils79 @sherrymagic @srnileforme and @thitiponqs ♥ also the ones i mentioned before are free to join and anyone else who wants to do this!
#tag game#thank you a ton zey this was so much fun!!!#i hope you're doing well and having a good summer ♥
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Are you ever going to make team silly vision Stuff again?? It's ok if you're not I'm just interested if you are
It's a difficult question to answer..!
See, I've never completely lost interest in tsv, I still occasionally draw and try to remotivate myself into updating my fic, but I definitely declined in how often I draw/write batim ).m <- my budgie wrote that
And one of the reasons why things have slowed down is actually something I've been thinking about lately. Ppl on Tumblr have been less interactive over the years; a mix of ppl leaving and also ppl joining that don't reblog+tag, reply, ask, etc as often anymore. This has progressing for years now, even back then. And then less art gives even less reason for interaction; an awful cycle. (And idk anyone has an answer for this but on twt whenever I interact with people that comment on my stuff first, they delete their comment entirely. I don't get it. But it definitely made me demotivated)
I also probably fell out of view with not keeping up with batdr and such, so I kind of understand if people haven't been talking to me for those lol
I won't never draw tsv again, I've thought of so much stuff I want to get out there, but sometimes I think about stuff that requires context from years ago because I started it in 2018. And then reintroducing stuff feels like beating a dead horse ;; I am glad some ppl are still interested so don't be afraid to ask about tsv! It'd really help get the creativity going again and also help my problem of not knowing what people get
At the very least, between a lot of non-batim comics and AUs I've been playing with, I want to finish Team Sillyvision, The First Part since I've already started that fic
#I feel like tsv could easily be confusing to people that werent with me back then because I drew so much stuff out of order lol#or talked about it on streams#and I dont have a timeline anymore because the post broke#but I have so many thoughts about it still#talk to me tag#Anonymous
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can I just say this fandom is getting so ... toxic and out of hand I go to twitter there's shit, I come to tumblr there's more shit 🤡 honestly the hate towards actors and even amongst fans, and creators be it art, fanfic or whatever... Is so disgusting... It's like either you have to agree with every single world someone says or else you're the enemy and get told you should go kys or worse... the racism towards poc actors and overall bully behaviour makes me mad af ... ppl forget how they are just doing their jobs, they don't write the scripts they just act them out...
I haven't interacted with fandom for months now, given the amount discourse between writers had me shook, so basically blocked every account that showed up on dash regarding it all, but with season 2 coming I thought hey why not see how things are... Idk it's like nothing changed for some folk ... They still hate Emma for not being the Rhaenyra they want, the hate Olivia for just playing her part, they hate tom because ... the poor man is playing a controversial character ... They hate Bethany for being a woc ...
Sorry for the rant, I've just been so frustrated with seeing everything... Plan to block all hotd tags and certain creators because honestly I just pop by on tumblr to browse through things and sometimes read a fic or two but lately the amount of bad behaviour I've seen in this fandom from writers or just random hateful folk have just ruined the whole experience for me.
I totally get you nonnie & I’m so sorry you feel this way, especially with s2 just days away from airing…
I do think as unfortunate as it is, majority of this fandom is actually quite heinous and disgusting. the behaviour I’ve seen towards the cast members and towards each other in this space is so hostile and vile, I’m openly ashamed to be part of it. all this back and forth bullshit with TG vs TB is just actual fucking nonsense. like who gives an actual shit? there’s an entire genocide happening but let’s ignore that and rip each other’s heads off about fictional people… humanity at its finest.
I’m actually being deadass when I say, I’m so over this discourse between the teams regarding HOTD. like no team is better than the other, that was the whole point of the story.
hence why, I’m trying to remove myself a little bit from the fandom space especially on tumblr. only trying to focus my energy and interest into the story / show itself.
after all the drama that unfolded especially in this fandom these last few months, there’s a lot of hypocritical behaviour and I’ve honestly got no energy anymore.
more important things in life than arguing with twats on the internet.
so I definitely recommend removing yourself from toxic people in this fandom, whether you need to ghost or block them. you’ll be saving yourself 🫶🏻
sending you only good vibes anon, and I hope you can find some solace in my little corner. that’s what I can offer to anyone that feels the same!
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Okokok i think i know what you're talking about!
Is the post about how Undertale Au fans have claimed the "utau" term and how it was originally for a singing sofware??? If yes, Op blocked you bc they're a fan of the software and follows the tag on Tumblr, but its full of Undertale stuff, so they just blocks people to not see this type of content anymore.
Nothing personal!!
OH! good to know! and yes thats the right post LOL
i wanted 2 tell everybody thats why i use the utmv tag instead (i think ppl have asked about it before idk i dont remember) but yeah!
i used to be rly into vocaloid and some utau things before likeee 2014 or so so i totally got the sentiment
im assuming they block ppl from the undertale tag straight up bc i have never ever used the utau tag (cuz i already knew) and i am just on the undertale and undertale au tags. all time anyway. so i get it
#amd even if it WAS personal idrc#so many peoplehave me blocked and i have so many people blocked it just do be like that#im a little bit of a maniac a little rabid anyways....a freak if you will.#Anonymous
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get 2 know me meme
tagged by my buddy, my pal @lugarn <3
Do you make your bed?
lol
What’s your favorite number?
idk I hate math
What is your job?
wouldn't you like to know weather boy?
If you could go back to school, would you?
shoot me into the sun before you send me back to college
Can you parallel park?
hahahahaha
A job you had that would surprise people?
something in a mall idk if that would surprise ppl other than the youths who don't know what malls are anymore
Do you think aliens are real?
yeah sure why not but they're probably way to busy to bother with us
Can you drive a manual car?
my hatred of driving is only matched by my hatred of coffeeshop owner vegas aus
What’s your guilty pleasure?
guilt is for the weak, that said, the Top Gun movies
Tattoos?
I have 1 and if it weren't for capitalism I would have more
Favorite color?
purple
Favorite type of music?
god I listen to a large range of music in a ton of different languages it'd be easier to list what music I don't like tbh - taylor swift, metal, some country
Do you like puzzles?
no, my brain is scrambled and my hands are small
Any phobias?
yes so many, but I'll never say that's how I become a char in an EAP or Junji Ito short story
Favorite childhood sport?
sitting on the bench basking in the sun for 30mins
Do you talk to yourself?
baby we're on tumblr of course I do
What movies do you adore?
to many to list truly, I love movies I've watched everything from pretentious arthouse garbage like Rubber to shoulda been best picture winner like Brokeback Mountain to direct to tape nonsense like secret obsession to big blockbusters like the marvels I love movies right now what's on my list to watch is Taboo, and The Untouchables. I'm also planning to rewatch Godzilla (1954) and Kong (1933). I'm debating on whether to get a MUBI subscription MAX has older films but since the merger their catalogue has gotten all fucky I hate it I hate them so much.
Y'all will have to come into my askbox with like specific genres for movies I adore cause I can honestly not say lol
Coffee or tea?
oh cafeito all day
First thing you wanted to be growing up?
taller
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