#idk how id make his head
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guys I'm thinking about trying to make a vr la pompom doll . I'm thinking about it .
#just blahs#I'm mostly just worried about his head#i think i could do most of him simple enough#but like .#idk how id make his head#i think id make him bigger than most of the other dolls ive made so far just so i could get more detail in him tho#i am mapping out pompom patterns in my brain guys#however i fear i may fall to my own adoration of vr la and take on an impossible task#im thinking about trying tho ...... .#i could do it .............#just imagine with me ok guys . little pompom vr la ....... little dolly robot ...............#rwd#vr la rwd#rwd vr la
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If Hogwarts used Emails
From: Percy Weasley <[email protected]>
To: Filius Flitwick <[email protected]>
Subject: CHARMS-ASGMNT 3
Dear Prof. Flitwick,
I hope this message finds you well. I am currently working on assignment 3, which is about the history of Weathering-Modifying Charms and whether or not they should be regulated. I also remember you writing down mobilicorpus, which is the spell for moving bodies of those who found themselves unable to walk. I was wondering if you meant mobiliarbus, which the spell to move plants and trees, which is closer to the subject?
I would greatly appreciate any guidance or suggestions you have to offer.
Thank you and have a great night!
Percy Weasley
W8008569
From: Filius Flitwick <[email protected]>
To: Percy Weasley <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: CHARMS-ASGMNT 3
whoops typo yeah it's supposed to be mobiliarbus
-Flitwick
Sent from my iPhone
#harry potter#percy weasley#pls ignore the student id number#dont look too hard#i swear this is how they make you sign your emails#filius flitwick#i feel like he would be this type of professor#i want you to know#this interaction is happening at 2 am#they both are lowkey like why are you up#but they cant judge#charms#charms hw is hard#idk#also this is literally how all my emails go i feel like#i be making sure there are no typos and shit#my professor: oh yeah lol#its like thanks i guess#percy is banging his head against a wall#i need you to know#I guess the first ones could be appropriate#esp if it was a natural disaster#urmmm#I didn’t research too hard#pls#also Oliver is trying to sleep and watching Percy lose his mind with this email
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DATAMINER!!!!
#making a new cog department. for fun#toontown corporate clash#ttcc#ttcc oc#toontown oc#toontown cogs#art#id make a blender model of him but idk how to make heads without just making a 2d face#hed need a 3d one for his mouth :(
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bites my thumb I know I already talked abt nicknames they’d call me but I thought about it again and got sick to my stomach (good way ) 💔💔
#everyone should do this . it’s healing .#anyways i call banjo jojo or jo or jojo honey and it makes meeee sooooooo GRAGHGGH.#he likes my name . he wants to use it he like how it sounds when he says it I think…..#he saves pumpkin for more special occasions or when we’re one on one …. I think it sweet …..#FUNKY ALWAUS USES THEM literally if he doesn’t sweet talk me he would drop dead .#sweetness or sweetcheeks … cutie pie…. baby cakes maybe …… he likes babe or baby for simplicity too….#MAYBE PRECIOUS. drops dead#I KNOW SHIT IS SERIOUS WHEN HE USES MY ACTUAL NAME but that’s only when he’s worried abt my safety or smth serious happens yknow…#i Like using his name a lot but I love calling my guys honey or sweetie it’s so natural for me ……#TOM LOVES CALLING ME SWEETHEART…. or bell . what who said that .#idk he makes me sick. we’ve been married for so long maybe there’s a name that stuck since we were younger….#I love calling him tom tom or thomas jokingly . honey of course .#i Like to think tommy’s full name is thomas. thomas jr (Tom’s not very creative )#and Timmy is Timothy.#ID BE LIKE THOMAS ??? and they’d both look at me and I’m like oh wait. looking for my son not husband .#txt#idk im just spitting out words I’m sick in the head#🐻🍯🪕#🦍🏄♂️🌊#💰🦝🍃
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love how there are pretentious video essays that just repeat the book and meander and ramble about house of leaves. it's what zampanó would have wanted. it is not, however, what I want
#anyway i finished the main portion of the book#all i have left is the poems and a few other small things i think? ive read pelafinas letters#im thinking of getting the full book of her letters#but also they severely messed with my head so we'll see#i will say. i do get why ppl say the book is pretentious and frustrating#there was a lot of stuff where i couldnt tell if it was supposed to be satire or if it was genuinely just that dense and pretentious#and a lot of the codes were rly obtuse imo?#like... idk. some of them were super obvious like the sos stuff or pelafina outright saying what to do#but others like. man how am i supposed to know johnny waxing poetic about pussy was coded#i mean that one is also pointed out though much later but i know i missed a lot just like it that werent pointed out#and ive heard theres a lot of shit where the message you get is just danielewski????? which gonna be real. kinda dumb.#but i did also really enjoy the book#there was a lot of stuff in it that was just so compelling or poignant or whatever other word#the minotaur stuff is good (ofc id say that though i love me some minotaur themes)#also a lot of the scenes with johnny just...... christ#idk how ppl say to skip them hes so fascinating#yeah i could do with him talking about his possibly hallucinated sex life a bit less but also his story is just plain interesting#i still think about the part where the girl he was talking to runs over a dog they had picked up........ it was fucking chilling#and his hallucinations of dying are so descriptive in just the right way to get under my skin#the uncertainty with him and his family..... did pelafina try to kill him? did his father just send her away for being a bit too overbearin#over an accident? was there something else? what was the deal with his foster family? with lude? gdansk man and kyrie?#how did it get published? who are the editors? why did the band know of the book before it should have been published?#why does his journal section end with a story from a man he admits to making up completely? the doctor from seattle doesnt exist#the chronological end is more hopeful with him saying things will be okay but then he puts a previous entry after that?#i think the burning of the book parallels the story nicely#johnny said his piece; he nurtured the book as much as he could; but it was hurting him and he had to give up on it#idk!#this book does make me feel a lil dumb ngl
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Thinking about geto because I want to pour milk on him and throw him against the wall. Imo his beliefs are inconsistent and self serving (which makes sense because he developed said beliefs at age 16/17 while his mental health was at an all time low). Because while he seems to have the primary motive of "only sorcerers = no curses" taking into account how he treats Maki, who has no cursed energy, it shows that the "no curses" thing isnt the main focus- bc while he decided on tbe "forced evolution" thing, theoretically he should not be Opposed to ppl w heavenly restriction bc. They still fuckin. Don't contribute to curses from what I can tell. Also heavenly restriction is pretty obviously something that is punished by uh. Is it just the Zenin's who have it. Anyway they hated Maki and they Hated Toji so he clearly isn't standing for "oppressed sorcerers" bc if so Maki should be like. The kind of person he wants to help more, as someone who would be oppressed by ppl who aren't sorcerers as well as the powerful clans.
Anyway. While getting rid of curses is for sure part of his motivation, as well as helping sorcerers (see Nanako and Mimiko) id honestly argue that his main problem that lead to him spiraling was. How do I put this. Being knocked off a pedestal
Because he was one of 3 people given the ranking of "Special Grade", and he and satoru are grouped as "the strongest". And consider that satoru comes from a powerful clan and literally has some weird omniscience and invincibility shit going on so that's a whole fucking. That's gotta be a wild ego boost, especially for someone who comes from a family of ppl who aren't sorcerers. Like you spend all this time being a fuckin weirdo and then someone finds you and it turns out you're actually incredibly special and strong, given the same rank as a fucking God Child? You're gonna have some wild self perceptions after that
Anyway then you get to watch your invincible friend get stabbed, watch the girl you became friends with and feel shitty about kinda ruining the life of get shot, and get your whole shit rocked by some guy who can't even use the magic power bullshit you have. (Though he's got a whole physical thing going on because of the trade off)
Also writing all of this out actually makes me understand the Cult Leader progression more, like besides the fact they killed ur friend and you want em dead. You're probably struggling with your ego (especially since your weird God like friend got a whole power boost from the situation) so you create a fucking eugenicist cult where you can consistently prove your superiority to yourself (surrounding yourself with people who will agree with everything you say).
Anyway in a similar vein I wholely believe in "a loving father is not inherently a good father" Suguru + Nanako & Mimiko dynamic
Final thought is roughly I feel like looking at Suguru thru the lense of "this character had a level of privilege that they felt they truly deserved, and after experiencing events that are genuinely traumatic and horrific for any person, they develop reactionary beliefs to try and regain a sense of superiority and control" rather than "oppressed minority who killed oppressors and wants to do eugenics"
#Eugenics TW#cult TW#ask to tag#Suguru when I catch you#Anyway this was me thinking Abt the fact that Toji ISNT a normal human. He just can't use jujutsu. He's like supernaturally powerful anyway#So Geto's whole shit is like. Pretty misdirected. Though also personal thought is I don't think His parents were good (and he's projecting#That onto every other person who's not a sorcerer) mostly cause like. Going straight to murdering your parents is not really expected#Progression in eugenics id think? Bc if you posit urself as the ''superior'' person theoretically ur parents should also b part of that#Bc genetics or whatever. Idk how genetic sorcery shit is but even tho his parents Weren't sorcerers usually ppl would make excuses I think#So. Basically I feel like he probably did not have a great relationship w them. Not that that makes him any better more just like. Thinking#Through what's happening in his head...why the fuck did he decide on a different last name for that woman. WTF is wrong with him#I am suguru's number 1 LOVER and his number 1 HATER. I'm suffering bc none of the fanfic makes him enough of a bitch#It's really fucking something bc like. Looking at him as someone who's had similar thought progressions and is unlearning the kind of toxic#Black/white extremist thinking he has going on. It's cathartic in a way to deconstruct that and be able to analyze my own thoughts as well#But then no one is putting in the effort to actually engage with his ideas and the flaws in them (INCLUDING THE AUTHOR.)#Anyway most people when they have a crisis and reach an extremely bad mental health situation would join a cult rather than take over a cul#But suguru is different. That's why I love him and also why I'm going to break his ribs.#Diversity win this autistic trans guy fucking sucks so bad you want him dead#I need to tag these damn posts w something but I'm too lazyyyu
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Things are in store. Things are going to happen.
#I'm going to make a general tullius art doll#talking#I'm going to sculpt the face and hands#might do the arms too? but im not sure#the armour is the scariest part because I'm not sure how to achieve it#but i know how to find out#i have the yarn for his hair already#tbh if it comes down to it i can always just give him “casual clothing” but id rather have him look like. yk. him#idk im insane and tired#none of you know that girlboy like i do okay.#the sooner we all accept that the better 🫶#anyways the reason I'm not gonna do multiple outfits is because these dolls are art pieces and usually pretty fragile#changing clothes isn't as easy as on a normal doll meant for play#and it would be a LOTTT more work for me#if it goes well I'll make an ulfric#but he would be even more complicated i fear?#or maybe less. maybe i should be buying materials for both of them#idk idkkk#once they're done im going to put them in a jar#half joking idk#god im so fucking funny#I CAN MAKE TULLIUS MEET HATSUNE MIKU#i have a Miku figure that my other art doll has already met#the other one i used airdry clay for the head#DO NOT RECOMMEND. i hate air dry clay#i might actually decapitate him and redo the head tbh#we will see!
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God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(
#its bc last night my dad had a dream she was in a car wreck. he transferred that anxiety onto me#shes such a bitch tho.just like intolerant of things she doesnt understand. and she does not understand my unwell brain#i think she likes my youngest sistsr best now. which fair bc i do too but we used to be besties. we used to explore in the woods together#and play ellos and barbies and legos and poly pockets and magnets. and now we never text eachother. its sorta sad#its not just me tho. my youngest sister and i have a 4 year gap so we weren't really interacting much when were were little bc she was too#bby to me but shes such a genuinely lovely person now. shes a special ed and preschool teacher. i asked her mom how she ended up with both#of my sisters bc my middle sister is the most like entitled person i kno. like my parents r very generous and she doesnt think for a moment#about not accepthing things from them. she thinks shes owed that amd more. its so strange#and my mom was like. thank goodness i got the youngest bc otherwise id think something was wrong with me#im prob somewhere in the middle of them. my brain is just more fucked up so like im greatful but im struggling. theres not a ton of like#really obvious mental illness in my family tho. just here and there someone should b diagnosed and get a bit of help. my uncle is the only#other one who could possibly be bipo1ar but hes also got a lot of problems: severe adhd and possibly b0rderline. so it could just b that but#my dad says when u talk to him sometimes things just doent make sense bc hes had convos in his head wuth you so he thinks u kno already#idk. its interesting tho#unrelated
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I really REALLY want to write something from Shou's mom's perspective post Claw takedown when Shou starts living with her again
#id be in over my head#but think of the potential. how funny and sad it could be#i am woefully underqualified for that#whatever#i also want to do something from dimple's perspective on the walk home after the marathon. like as he starts realizing that it IS shigeos#house thats on fire#and maybe id expand that into his perspective through the whole world domination arc? but idk if id do the anime or manga version#i could combine them i guess#i also want to do something from SHOUS perspective after moving back with his mom. i had so many ideas for that#but i lost the whole google doc#so rip that until i make another baseboard
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i still cant process this
#i keep reading the same thing every hour i keep saying death and dead and passed next to his name and its just not clicking in my head#i keep seeing*#i think im Trying to subconsciously cope with it in the most fucked up way which is to think that this is just some kind of sick joke#like it isnt at all but i just cant process that hes gone u know?#some other twisted part is thinking hes just somewhere else right now#idk how to explain#it felt bizarre to get thru the day cause id be staring at my feet suddenly think of him and wonder whose feet are these?#just straight up feel like nth has been real today. bizarre that i go on with my life and his ended last night#im so sorry to his family and friends and all who loved him dearly#just still not making sense to me but i KNOW when it does. when it finally does its gonna hit me hard like a sack of bricks#im just in a daze now
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tommy fucking tires me sometimes
#i cant realistically say im gonna drop him cause. i know i wont im far too emotionally invested#maybe thats bad idk but id rather call him out on that shit and watch the other stuff thats not supporting dream if that makes sense#but mygod it is so fucking disappointing sometimes like Get your head out of your arse#how does he still not fucking get hes hurting his FANS . head in hands#idk this fucking sucks if hes on dreams shitass server ill be so pissed#alex.rambles.txt#dream situation#cc!tommy#mcyt#negativity
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whats tough about like. Having Chemistry and spending time with someone at the start of the spring semester is that valentines day is coming up and its like a make or break point with what you may or may not Be and you have to question what direction things are headed in and its a pressure just Not present in the fall semester idk. idk
#we uhhhh. kinda hit a bump in the road ...... idk.#hes. been very gentle and kind and understanding about where im coming from and so we havent talked in a couple days but just ....#god ok fuck it. we were hanging out saturday night and at some point we were going somewhere where parking sucked so i just suggested we go#in his car rather than separate bc finding parking for ONE car is a Struggle. anyways so afterwards we went back to where i parked my car#and i hahahhaaaaa was NOT leaving. it was just past midnight and so we were just hanging in his car talking for abt an hour#in there at some point i told him about that last crush and how it dragged on and he was like jesus CHRIST sia thats a lot#i was reclined in my seat and shutting my eyes listening to the music and i caught him looking at me a couple times andddddd uh#yeah basically i ended up in his lap and then we were kissing and touching and grinding for like the next hour and a half#and he asked if i wanted to go back to my place and i was like uhhhhhhhhhhhh not now so we stayed in there and just made out & talked more#and then he TOLD me. basically hes in a similar situation i was in this time last year. like a girl he liked and was talking to actually#has a bf. hes sorta in limbo and she still talks to bim and is stringing him along and playing off his hopes theyll get together for.#entertainment ig. everyone at this school is fantastic btw. jesus fucking christ.#so yeah he told me bc he said he didnt wanna hurt me or end up fucking me over and that i deserved full honesty and didnt want to get my#hopes up. which i REALLY appreciate. we talked for 8 days he got carried away once and immediately owned up. i do appreciate that#so like. he said that we can just be friends with or without benefits and i said id think about it. then at like 3 am we went home and he#check in with me to make sure i was alright since he could tell i had a LOT on my mind. i said id call him the next day and so we talked#and basically i explained the reason for my apprehensions and why i said no to hooking up (csa) and he was really understanding#and then like. i just asked him more about what was going through his head the night before & he described it as a heat of the moment thing#(which i agree it was) and like. he was genuinely concerned about me tho. idk#i told him that after i got home i had to shower for an hour scrubbyat every place he touched me and that im tired of feeling used#and he really heard me out and listened. he also asked if he hurt me and i said no but it def could have gotten to that point and i#and so he said 'im sorry for making your life at all hafrder to deal with' and i REALLY really#appreciate him being as honest as he was. so i said its cool we can be friends but i just need some space rn & he once again was really#understanding & said 'for as long as you need. just let me know whenever youre ready to just be friends again & if you need me to stay sway#from [xyz places we hung out] just let me know and if you need anything for class just feel free to reach out'#and. GOD i appreciate him. so that convo closed out on good terms. i was worried id need WEEKS but it rlly was just a few hours after that#i was ok again. traumas all about narratives and before that convo all i could see was another instance i was usee but like.#after actually talking it out all the fear around it dissipated and i can just see it for what it was: 2 friends who got carried away#but i really REALLY appreciate how hes handled this and we're both single & attracted to each other and so the question im thinking now is:#crushposting
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Look, I love Brokeback Mountain (2005) so much and I'm so glad that I get to exist in the universe where Ang Lee directed this movie with these specific actors and this specific version of the script, however part of me really wonders what Brokeback would have looked like if it had been directed by some of the other filmmakers who were in the line up for the project, using earlier versions of the script 🤔
Like imaginewhat Brokeback would've looked like with noted gay indie movie darling Gus Van Sant at the helm?? Or Pedro Almodóvar??? And then with other versions of the script floating around online, as well as deleted scenes and whatnot, I can't help but wonder abt what it would've been if other directors had gotten their hands on it first
#thinking abt this bc pedro almodóvars western short film is premiering at cannes this year and im really eager to see it if it gets a wide#release#he called it like. his follow up/response to brokeback mountain bc he was one of the directors whod been interested in making bbm but for#some reason it just hadnt worked out#anyways id never change a hair on brokebacks head bc i think its just. absolutely imperfectly perfect#but still cant help but think abt it yanno 🤔 like what the cinematography wouldve looked like or what scenes wouldve been expanded upon#or cut#who the actors wouldve even been at that time#cause like. the film had been made in 2005 but the script had been written since like 1998? it spent smth like 7 yrs not even in production#hell but just trying to get off the ground bc directors were interested but backed out bc male actors at the time didnt wanna touch it#idk its crazy to think abt how much has changed in hollywood#still brokeback posting#brokeback mountain
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how do i make his head shorter
#mandalorian making me a star wars fan against my will#my sims#do i even properly tag this when i cant tell if i hate it#idk#grogu#need better ears shorter head more wrinkles etc etc idk where to find any of this though and i am not that skilled that i could do all that#idek how tf youd make his peach fuzz but it still feels important lmao#id make a tattoo for that and wrinkles but! how do i do scalp stuff i could barely do forehead tattoos without them warping horribly lmao
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i seeeeriously am in so deep rn . til today i've kind of in my head just been like haha lol sid's my boyfriend. yeah he's my wife whatever but these past few days have been like ... wah ... i marry you? 🥺 you marry me? 🥺 be my husbands?🥺love you?🥺
#good lord i dont know this post is embarrassing . im shy#there's also like. there;s an ingame wedding ceremony u can have in ffxiv wwhat if what if i what what what if what if#id have to have someone make a character of him and do it with me and its such a process but also. marry sid?🥺marry sid🥺? for real🥺?#sedate me. idk. sedate me#sid#mine#want 2 have a little life with him#tuck rielle in for bed together . she happily accepts forehead kisses from me but she pretends to hate when sid does it#picking flowers with her that we can put in a little jar in her room because she likes them and they're hard to come by in ishgard#we both try to help her with her hair but she likes a little braid in it and i don't have very good dexterity/hand-eye coordination#and sid just point blank period doesn't know how to braid so we both struggle through it together hehe:)#speaking of... uugh i want him to play with my hair. lay my head in his lap and stuff and just stay there with him for as long as he'll let#me (which is however long i want)#i wonder what kind of ring he'd like... what kind he'd pick out for me#holding my head in my hands groaning leaning back in my chair rn#i want to pet his horns... i'd be really gentle even though i know they're built tough i just don't want to hurt him#i think a lot about. um. wauu. wat if we held tails i think that shit is so sweet idk. i think his would have more flexibility#his is shorter but i think itd be cutes if he tried to curl it around me sometimes Augh😭😭😭😭(taking psychic damage)
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finlays will see a terrible abusive dynamic in ninjago and be like 'is anyone gonna think abt that daily' and not wait for an answer
#and i try to show emotion but my eyes wont seem to wet. and id love to tell u stories but i cant remember how they went#llorumiiiiiiiiiii [doing cat puke retches on the floor] THEY MAKE ME SICK.#i feel i do have to day this every time i dont actually supportttt the ships or whatever. they r just so intersting to me#ninjago has really fucking boring canon relationships cus they dont ever address any of the Weirdness#jaya cld be sooooooo juicy. but alas its sooooo nothing#llorumi etc r not good not healthy BUT they r juicy. there are many different angles to attack it from and they r actually. IN the show#and not just my head#personally heartttt the interpretation of harumi being too likeeee. idk . trapped. to ever change or challenge her beliefs#idk im crazy tired rn but oooiiaaahhh#vexane is also very juicy to me as a genuinely loveless relationship but instead one built on like. purelyyyyy zane feeling he cant trust#anyone else.#vex is very good at manipulating situations and zane is in the ultimate situation.#it puts him completely at vexs mercy and he stays under his paw for. 40 years. god. ok#i think thats the timeline right. Okay. man#its easy to see how zane cld end up where he does in s11#btw both of those r not even necessarily a romantic reading but gragghhhhh so intersting#ninjago has some crazyyyyyy deep relationships if u can dig and strike gold#btw the best dynamic in the entire show is garmabros (NOT ROMANTIC OBVS.) it sweeepssss the entire cast easy
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