#idk how i'm gonna do this
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I get even less much-craved attention from you now. I'd rather have it this way, though, for both of your happiness. You deserve to have your dog, and so does she; the both of you were decaying without each other. And dogs only exist for so long, it's our human duty to cherish and spoil them every day forever. This way is also important for me to learn. These days are very hard lessons for me, in regard to finding comfort in this troubled, fearful, tired human vessel. I like feeling close to you, but you like to push away, and to be alone
I also just realized that i am a cat person, through and through.
#personal#words#sorry i'm rambling idk what to do about Any of this#i have feelings for my best friend and she lives with me now and she doesn't feel the same way#love for me doesn't subside#it doesn't just go away#idk how i'm gonna do this#if she finds someone she's interested in and we're still close i genuinely don't think i could be in her life anymore#and that terrifies me#i want to be strong. i want to be WHOLE#as myself#because once i know who and how i am and what i need and want in all aspects of life i think i'll be able to have healthy relationships#what's holding me back is the fear of the unknown. like jumping off of a cliff in pure black darkness and somehow expecting not to at least#break my legs#i know i cannot live my life in fear nor let my paranoia and bpd stop me from truly living#i know i cannot engulf and give all of myself into one person and expect a similar energy in return#i know i cannot become all encompassed by someone. it's not healthy and it ruins relationships#i know i cannot be a devotional servant every second of every day of my life#and i know that i expect way too much of myself. to do better and be better. to not do this or do that better.#i try to remember to work toward being my own true love but it's so hard when i have so many memories that have convinced me i'm not good#enough
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Yeah I would like to have uhhhhh whatever the hell these two have got going on
#I know we're all boopin rn but well I've got vampires on my mind. how about that#vtm#vtmb#vampire the masquerade#vtm oc#veilguard is coming out in a couple of hours but my brain decided it's the perfect time to get obsessed w vincent & pepper again#THOUGH. ACTUALLY. tbh. I don't think the obsession ever really left#they're always on the back of my moind 🫠#how much do you wanna bet that I'll be playing veilguard and like 1 hour in I'm gonna be like#'I wish vincent & pepper were here........'#IDK WHAT IT IS ABOUT THESE 2 they're like cocaine to me#oc.pepper#oc.vince#ship: viper#sleepyscribble
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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Bribed with Chocolate. The way it should be.
Part 22 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
More to come as this is a two-parter. But you know how I am with schedules.
Bonus:
I think this was an equally possible reaction from Chara.
#Chara and Azzy have another talk#Finally Chara shows their mischievous side.#and Azzy knows Chara's language well#my art#deltarune chara timeline#art#bread#deltarune#ngl im so happy with how that chocolate shake came out. I want to eat it so bad#yay 6 pages of taking :') i hope you guys like that lmao#Glad I got this one done in basically a month and a week! Hah. I'm trying me best :') Halloween.. Exams and a ton of other things came up#surprisingly these backgrounds weren't terrible to do... I mean took more than two hours but you know what I mean#i struggled with how to frame the background though. I actually liked drawing it. But because both the background and my characters--#--are super colorful I have to make sure I don't muddle the whole page.#Ive been thinking of doing the overworld in black and white recently... may help me actually finish the comic lol. idk i may make a poll#gonna try and get the new part out in maybe a month again? sorry. Thanksgiving and Christmas get me exhausted.
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kitamoto does make me so emotional. natsume says some embarrassingly earnest shit that reveals how undersocialized he is and kitamoto's reaction is to spend more time with him and introduce him to friendship. when someone who appears to be a girl his age tells him she's never read a book before, he's like oh okay, and then the next day he gives her a book with easy-to-read stories in a genre she said sounded interesting. he not only doesn't judge people but he also actively meets them where they're at...i love this sweet teenager so much i could cry.
#he's like huh. what a weirdo. i'm going to respect the shit out of them#he and nishimura taught natsume how to ride a bike. remember that? because i do.#natsume is like will i ever be able to tell him about the youkai? and idk if he means youkai in general or specifically kaeda#but either way. kitamoto would be the absolute chillest person to tell. he's so accepting. even if he thought it was natsume's delusions#he would just like. be so fucking supportive ah goddammit i'm gonna cry again#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#kitamoto atsushi#my posts
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STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS — SEASON 1 (2020)
#trekedit#lower decks#star trek lower decks#lowerdecksedit#startrekedit#scifiedit#tvedit#animationedit#i did this for s4 and now i'm gonna go back and do the rest i've decided :)#and i think it'll be fun if i change up the layout each time but we'll see what i come up with :')#also i love how i was like. idk if i'm coming back here fr. and then keep posting gifsets#with like at least 15 other ideas still bouncing around in my skull like ping pong balls skdhdjdk
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It's dark Arthur, pull out your lighter.
(practically I know john is most easily portrayed as a normal hooded guy with a mask but deep down my heart of hearts still belongs to mergo's wet nurse)
#can you tell i think mergo's wet nurse had the coolest design in bloodborne?#descriptions and author's notes in the image captions#i feel like that's the funniest way to stick those in there tbh lol#flashing image#hopefully not too flashing but idk how gifs get crunched on tumblr#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#john doe#mp#my art#doodles#animation#kinda#lots of opacity filters that are suuuper disorganized lol#at some point i'm just gonna do a character sheet for john/KiY but it will actually just be a dozen designs i think are cool#but then will not draw in a practical setting because they're too wonky#i do think the masked guy design is quite charming and is objectively the right way to draw him interacting with anything#i just think fucked up creatures are cool#man i still love drawing profiles#idk why but they're soo much easier than drawing faces straight on#they're just Nice
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[ID: A digital comic in two images of Samama Khalid and Celia Ripley from The Magnus Protocol on a gray background. Sam is a fat South Asian man with short, curly black hair, and a mustache and small goatee, and he is wearing a turtleneck, a cardigan, black nail polish and small black earrings. Celia is a slim Korean woman with short black hair, and she is wearing a button down shirt, a vest, rectangular glasses, an x-shaped earring, an industrial piercing, and snakebite studs. Sam is colored in solid red, and Celia is colored in solid green.
The first image is three drawings of Sam. The first is of him looking up pleadingly with his hands clasped and his eyes large and sparkly with sparkles around his head saying "Ahem, please?" The second is him holding up two tickets and smiling, saying "Ta-da! These incredibly exclusive, hardly-discounted, barely obstructed theatre tickets?" The last is him holding up the tickets to himself to read them and saying "I don't really know much about it, I just thought-" His eyes are drawn as dots in the last one.
The second image is of Celia smiling down at him with half-lidded eyes and an amused and slightly scheming smile. She is blushing lightly with a thought bubble next to her with partially blocked out text reading "I need to (blank) him and (blank blank) him until he (blank)". The censored parts also contain pink hearts on the black censor bars. end ID]
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thinkin bout that one bit. i love him <3 celia you need to kiss his silly little face or i will
#fg's art#the magnus protocol#tmagp#samama khalid#celia ripley#ripsam#that's what im going with for now for the shipname akjlshdakldh#suggestive#i guess?? idk how to tag this augh#this was the awkward silly sam celia thing from that poll btw <3#every time i listen to that scene i am just. banging my hands into my desk he's so CUUUUTE I'M GONNA EAT HIM ALIVE#HIS TAP-DANCING FOAL CHARM. HIS BABY SHRIMP SWAG#celia you need to do this for me please girlie treat him RIGHT or I WILL
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Another IWTV sketch! I loved Claudia sm in this scene the way she approached Madeleine so gently as not to scare her off as she's got blood like. Everywhere. and some french guy is noisily bleeding out in the corner?? Perfect, 10/10, no notes
#claudia eparvier#iwtv s2#claudia iwtv#claudia de pointe du lac#amc claudia#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#madeleine eparvier#madeleine iwtv#claudia x madeleine#IWTV#bug sketches!#claudia#idk if I'll do background or tidy this up any more than I have I'm kind of loving the messy sketches rn#it's fun getting back into the practice of drawing regularly I'm not gonna stress having clean pieces rn#also someone tagged my last sketch as undescribed so I went back and fixed it. thank u for the reminder!#this one has a description lmk if it needs to be edited I'm not super sure how much detail to include so I just put a lot of detail into it
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After Angband, Maedhros had a complicated relationship with his hair for a long while. The thing he once used to cherish and carry with pride, inherited from the mother he had left behind, was now tainted with memories of unwanted attention and derogatory touch.
After his rescue, it had to be cut short for the sake of his recovery, and he could never quite figure out whether he was more hurt or relieved by the act. It was Fingon, during those times filled with anxiety and doubt and shame, who helped him learn to accept his own appearance again– from the stump of his right arm and the scars littered across his freckled body to the locks of copper hair, ever so slowly regrowing to their former glory.
And little by little, the lingering memories of malevolent hands harshly yanking at his scalp were replaced by the feeling of tender hands carefully braiding familiar golden ribbons into his hair, once again beloved.
#so basically#they are in love and i love them very much#just don't think about how during the peaceful days of valinor they used to spend days just sitting around and braiding each other's hair#and after his rescue maedhros could never do that again#or maybe curufin–#after seeing his brother moping around all day sad because he could no longer braid his bf's hair#–engineered his a prosthetic hand to help him do just that#who knows not me#fun fact i spent all day yesterday drawing this-- no literally i didn't do anything else please send help#the silmarillion#silmarillion#maedhros#nelyafinwe#maitimo#russandol#fingon#findekano#russingon#why do they have to have so many names my god#maedhros x fingon#fingon x maedhros#silmarillion fanart#russingon fanart#maedhros fanart#fingon fanart#idk what to tag here i'm gonna be honest#art#my art
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A series of mxtx couples as silly little creature designs for my shop. I had a lot of fun making these ^w^
#heaven official's blessing#heaven official's blessing fanart#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#tgcf#mdzs#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#wangxian#wei wuxian#lan wangji#scum villian self saving system#svsss#bingqiu#bingyuan#I'm gonna be real with you- idk what Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu's ship name actually is. I've seen both#i really enjoyed doing these but formatting everything for redbubble made me glad i dropped out of graphic design lol#depending on how well these do I might make more (for the side pairings)
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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technically he's not lying
#how many years do i have to wait for ordan to jumpscare me#idk how to draw ordan#i don't wanna yoink someone else's design#and i'm definitely not gonna draw steel meridian leader model with boltace and izvara syandana like some redditter hypothesied#so just a cape with a tiny bone as a button#also i just think this plot is funny but i didn't actually have a coherent setting about ordis / ordan lol#no matter what operator is scared as hell rn#warframe#warframe operator#warframe ordis#warframe ordan karris#my art
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Pac: Take care of Ramon, take care of Richas, ok? See you on the other side, big boy.
Fit: [Laughs] Take it easy, big boy. Take it easy, big boy. Actually, nononono– You can't just say "big boy" and then just expect me to not drag you outta here. [Fit tries to lasso Pac] You're coming with me.
Pac: No, I need to leave!
Fit: You're coming with me. You are not dying today! You are not dying today!
Pac: I need to leave, Fit! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Ironmouse: Are you guys like, having sexy time?
Fit: There's homosexual activity going on Mouse, don't worry about us, ok?
Ironmouse: You guys, we don't have time to be gay right now.
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
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Pac: I'm just here to say goodbye to you, Fit.
Fit: Goodbye? We're not– we're gonna be fine, we're going to get out of here, don't worry.
Aypierre: Yeah, don't worry!
Pac: I know, but like– I will sleep until the end, you know? I will pass through this moment sleeping, man. I won't be able to be awake for the moment.
Fit: [Laughs] You know, it's– I mean, if that's how you wanna go, but– I mean, that- I mean, isn't that bed kind of like.... I don't know, it's–
Pac: No no, I will be staying on the sofa, you know, I will be staying on the sofa.
Fit: Oh the sofa. Ok, that's a nice sofa! Yeah, that is a pretty nice sofa.
Pac: Yeah, it's a nice sofa right? No, yeah– I'm going to stay on the sofa, you know? So, since I will be going Fit... [Pac starts tossing Fit all his items]
Aypierre: [Not paying attention to their conversation] Is that bigger cell? I don't think it's a bigger- biggest one.
Fit: Oh... Thank you Pac, thank you.
Pac: Everything you need to survive, ok?
Fit: Wow.
Aypierre: Wow.
Pac: And if you need this one also, maybe, who knows? [Throws him more items]
Fit: Ohhh, well hey– just take this to remember me by, ok? [Tosses him a photo of himself – the same one Aypierre was carrying all day yesterday]
Pac: [Laughs] Ok, I will sleep holding the picture you know, like this. You know, I will dream about you, Fit. And I hope this is gonna be good dreams. I see you in the other side. Good luck, my friend.
Fit: The other side... Yeah, you know, yeah, we– we– you know? It's been an honor, Pac. It's been an honor, you know?
Pac: Yeah, for me too, you know? Take care of Ramon, take care of Richas, ok?
Fit: Ok.
Pac: See you on the other side, big boy.
Fit: I will sing your praise– Oh yeah, hey– [Laughs] Take it easy, big boy. Take it easy, big boy. Actually, nononono– You can't just say "big boy" and then just expect me to not drag you outta here. You're coming with me.
Pac: No, I need to leave!
Fit: You're coming with me. You are not dying today! You are not dying today!
Pac: I need to leave, Fit! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Fit: Sorry, there's–
Pac: I'm sorry!
Ironmouse: Are you guys like, having sexy time?
Fit: There's homosexual activity going on Mouse, don't worry about us, ok?
Ironmouse: You guys, you guys– we don't have time to be gay right now, come on. There's no time.
Pac: No, there's no time! Oh, goodbye Fit...
Fit: Ok, c'mon, no no no, come on, we got this we got this!
Pac: Goodbye Fit, I'm sorry!
Fit: [Laughs] Oh no...
#Pactw#FitMC#Hideduo#FitPac#QSMP#QSMP Prison#January 22 2024#So canonically how do you guys view this moment?#Did Pac just canonically conk out from stress?#Did he take sleeping pills on purpose to sleep through whatever awful thing was inevitably going to happen?#Curious to hear what other people think#I like to imagine the stress finally got to him#He spent the entire time trying to mirror things he saw Cell doing#and finally cried about it to Bagi#I can't blame him if he wants to sleep through the rest of it. Man's living in a place that's actively making him relive past trauma#Fit says he's carrying Pac in his backpack but I like to imagine that he just gave Pac a piggy back ride the entire way home :D#I imagined that for Purgatory too#it's cute#idk the whole idea of very traumatized characters being so comfortable around certain people#Idk the idea Pac feeling so safe around Fit#(despite being in a place that is actively stressing him out)#that he feels alright falling asleep and trusting him / Mike to protect him is sweet to me#Idk man I'm a big fan of the ''literal sleeping together'' trope#I love when characters take naps together it's so cute#esp when it's two traumatized characters with a lot of baggage / trust issues#It's nice#anyways I got way off topic with these tags LMAO sorry#I was gonna edit this down but I like the entire conversation so I'm leaving it as is#The YouTube editor living in my brain: Not great for viewer retension#Me: Shhhhhhhh I'm an Archivist. I can do whatever I want.
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It's so fucked how they suddenly removed cabanela from the remastered 2010 official art. i'm assuming they thought he might be too "spoilery" of a character (despite first showing up in the same chapter as kamila)
they took him out back and shot him
#ghost trick#catamari post#i'm gonna be honest i'm tired of this game covering so much “spoilers” bc where does it start and when does it end#yes you “ghost” and “trick” but.. the story is good too. how do you *properly* advertise that#ur main audience are aa fans + they're mostly there for the story so idk if gameplay is the best way 2 promo it but thats just what i think#<- i will say it also took me a long while to finally pick up the game bc of how intimidated i was by the gameplay + i had 0 info on anythi#why must these lovely characters + story be kept entirely secret... capcom please do better
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incest and pedophilia isn't sexy
#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd x reader#bsd fanfic#bsd headcanons#fanfiction#fanfic#x reader#anti incest#from someone who's so terrified of something like that happening to me#its caused me several panic attacks#from intrusive thoughts and certain remarks made towards me#i cant fathom how people can request and write about it#and how people defend others for writing about it and requesting it#fantasizing about it is insane#just simply sparing it a thought makes me want to cry#I'm gonna block the tags and peopl but still#idk#i just feel very strongly about it#whether you act on it or not#not targeted#same as people say#if you dont like their content block them#if you dont like my opinion on this block me too#dead dove do not eat#sensitive content#| ray's yapping ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
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