#idk how blind and unaware one can be at this point

[redvelvetwishtree]

What I've been asking for a while now!! You all love watching animes and reading and watching stuff with such themes but can't seem to understand it now that it's really happening.

Given how obsessed western media and Israel were with the "bUt h@m@s" narrative this time, it makes it plenty obvious that ham@s is no longer the t€rr0r1st body that Israel once empowered and enabled it to be. It's just people/freedom fighters wanting their land back after they've experienced decades of similar barbarity it appears.

And how anyone thinks Palestinian people will come out of the current massacre, mass murder and cruelty all chill and cool is beyond me. Do you seriously expect they won't want to avenge their loved ones after the stuff Israel did to their families??? The school year in Gaza had to be ended because all kids were DEAD. Entireeee family lines have been wiped out. Their hospitals, refugee camps, bakeries, schools everything has been turned to dust. Their internet and phones were cut off while aid was refused entry and all of this is stuff you can read without crying, and feeling sick I haven't listed the stomach turning shit yet.

Oh btw are you all still seriously believing that Israel is out there doing you a favour by t@rgEt1ng h@m@s? They're just killing and slaughtering and destroying so they can expand their colonized land later (this has been said by Israeli politicians and people). Also, they don't care about hostages from their country so before demanding their release from h@mas, talk to Israel.

And what happens when they're done getting rid of h@m@s which I know they're not doing that but still? Palestinians will thank them and carry on with their lives? What have you all been encouraging and celebrating Ukrainians for? Why doesn't that same logic apply here? You don't expect one ounce self-defence from Palestine later??? After alllll that was done?? Get your brain checked.

[muchmossymess]

GUYS okay hear me out majoras mask boat boys au

I love legend of zelda I love boat boys this is like the ultimate combination of my interests you cannot understand the brainrot. Idk what to call it yet tho... majoras minecraft? Anyway prepare for an essay

OKAY so we have the Hero of Time, Etho, who stopped ganons plans before they started, and would be stuck in a child's body if not for the fact I think that'd be a lil weird for the more shippy aspects of this au that all the running through time aged his soul and his body followed suit (he's still got a young appearance, and the mask doesn't make him look older like he thinks). Same reason he has the scar over his eye (from the ganon fight); no matter how much the body may heal or rewind the mind will not forget.

Then navi (maybe bdubs?) left him, and he went with epona (maybe bdubs instead? (eponas a horse iydk)) and he sets out on a journey aka the beginning of mm:

Wandering through the woods on epona, gets jumped by skull kid. For those unaware, there is skull kid, a lonely lil sweetheart, and he wears the mask, an entity on its own. He also has two fairies, siblings tael and tatl.

So I was a little unsure about this for a while, but I think I've decided on grian for the skull kid and Jimmy for tael, grian bc watchers and Jimmy bc skull kid is not very nice to tael (bc of the mask) and like a listeners reference or smth blah blah blah

TATL. that's who's interesting. At the beginning she gets separated from her friends and becomes your companion. So naturally for this au she is our favourite joel smallishbeans. It works so well. Tatl is mean but cares, and that's joels dynamic with the bad boys and with etho, guys it's literally perfect idc what you say

I think it doesn't change much throughout like the story of the game, but just taking dialogue tatl says to link and its so perfect for a sassy joel to a "can't believe I'm dealing with this shit again" etho. Uh one thing different though; in hylian form etho doesn't have an ocarina but instead a mini marimba. Just because. I think it's cool, and for potential things later on.

Now, fairies in this au are just tiny glowing people shaped things with wings. The glow around them is their magic, and depending on emotions/energy the brightness changes (thats why they look like flying balls of light). Some fairies have the ability to make projections of themselves, more hylian sized in nature. This can be intimidation or distraction or w/e, but they cant do it for long periods of time bc its exhausting. These forms aren't physical. Just sized up light projections of their actual bodies.

So for a lot of their journey, joel is just a cute pocket sized ball of rage and sarcasm, who helps with ethos aim for fighting. Bc that's a game mechanic and also ethos like half blind. But like when joel calms down imagine him crawling into ethos hat and just dozing off. He can fit in the palm of your hand like guys it's so cute. But he is also capable of being worse than a mozzie

Oh probably a good point to put in what I imagine etho looks like. So it's typical link green (maybe a bit dampened?), weird pointy hat, short hair (white ofc), his shirt is more of a jacket with a fluffy cold weather collar, it's a bit too big for him but he knows he'll grow into it, he's all knobbly and thin (underfed a lil, boy was never taught how to care for himself beyond basic survival). His injured eye is red bc of ganon, and often gives him phantom pains. It can't be healed.

Anyway, at some point in their journey together, etho and joel learn a song that let's fairies have a larger physical form, no wings, sorta like the great fairies (who they learnt it from prolly). It isn't permanent, slowly draining ethos magic meter, the spell ends when you run out of magic. This is because I want them to actually be able to stand side by side or maybe hug, and also bc its hard to block a blow with your body when ur tennis ball sized.

Aaaaand, this ties back in with with marimba. What if ethos injured, or unconscious, and he obviously can't defend himself, so joel panics and plays the marimba in what he hopes is the right order to give himself a body. I imagine that being that small, you could not play an ocarina. And hey maybe joel carries etho away after that, and when the spell ends he has barely any light emitting from himself because he spent nearly all his magic (what he is made of) saving etho.

But this song isn't used much, because of its draining nature, and you can't really do any other magic things while it's going. So it's mostly just in the final fight (over and over) or tough moments or maybe joel wants to experience something like hoe hylians do. It's obviously inferior to how he experiences things as a fairy, of course, he's just curious thats all. He totally doesn't want etho to do it more.

Okay I think ill sorta stop here, I am NOT done, I will probably post some art I've done for this later lol, and I want help with who everyone else is (mumbo is the moon. You cannot stop me nor change my mind) with mcyts to npcs

[judasgot-it]

You know what I’ve been thinking these days? If jouno had the chance to see how his workmates faces are. But I think when he became a hunting dog, he was already a hunting dog

🪻

OMG WAIT I've had headcanons about this.

I think jouno has ideas of what they look like, but they might be like. kinda off in some way.

like, i think teruko is probably the most accurate - shes a little girl in his head who looks a little annoying. the only thing that's off is her hair, i think he just assumes its black. same with her eyes.

if he ever did see her. wow. he wouldn't be too surprised but also he'd be mad about being called 'annoying peppermint bitch' all the time i bet - like, she has pink hair. really? at that point she was just making fun of herself.

fukuchi is also close i bet. teruko probably describes him in GREAT detail, but i dont think he REALLY knows some details. like how muscular fukuchi is (his six pack abs? his titties?) or how weird his hair is or his grinning face

he probably thinks he looks younger than he does. so seeing him would be weird. and i think he'd notice how sad fukuchi really is like, straight away. he is perceptive, it just his brain.

also he would probably be forced to watch fukuchis movies if he gained sight all of a sudden. he would hate it very very very much.

i like to think he's CONVINCED tecchou is ugly as hell sometimes. like, no way is he remotely attractive. why is he like that if he could get laid, right? bro uses the saddest bar soap alive, he has to have something weird

people tell him tecchou is hot, but he refuses.

then he sees him and is pissed as hell because:

bro has the ugliest ass haircut alive. he knows its long, but he was unaware tecchou thought that was a good idea

he has facial tattoos?

His eyelashes?

he never smiles? he knows he's happy or not from his heartbeat, but him not smiling? it's so weird to watch it. jouno now knows why he is asked by others if tecchou is mad or not - no one can tell by his face

he isn't ugly.

the worst is tachihara because i think jouno thinks he's like. a real delinquent - the kind who has a shaven head and a beaten lip and eyes that show that he killed a man

but no. tachihara just looks 19. he looks like a kid who plays pokemon. i think jouno would be disappointed - he doesn't look aggressive at all. jouno would steal his lunch money if he was still in a gang. he felt disappointed the most there, i think.

anyway idk, i think there would also be a heartfelt aspect too it but i remember some blind dude on youtube who mentioned that if he got his eyesight back (he was born blind tho, so he never really saw like. ever) then it would take him like weeks probably to adjust to seeing since he spent years orientation his life around a life without vision.

i think jouno would struggle to just be able to see, since his senses are so heightened. i think maybe he could see on a microscopic level or something if he got it back. or maybe not, these are just ramblings though

[lightningandfireinmybones]

Okay besties!!! I love the vibe we have going in here. Might I also throw in my two cents because regarding the whole Rhaegar / Lyanna thing, I have some thoughts as well?

So... I think that no matter how you slice it, it could never and would never have worked out. Not only was Lyanna a child (older than say Dany when she was sold to Drogo yet still a child) but also Rhaegar never treated her as an equal.

I find it very hard to believe that the She- wolf, Lyanna Stark herself, the Knight of the Laughing Tree, the girl that was so head strong that Ned is reminded of her when seeing Arya train with Syrio, the same girl that so earnestly and gently was moved by Rhaegar's sad songs at Harenhall, that she would be on board with fulfilling some grand prophesy.

Because the good version of events is that Rhaegar was forthcoming about the prophecy. He was the Heir, he was slowly and under the table making moves to remove Aerys from the throne and since his youth he was conceived that he could recreate the three heads of the dragon. (being born during a horrific accident that leaves almost everyone dead and was maybe caused by your grandfather in an attempt to revive dragons will mess you up I guess)

So when Elia could no longer safely give him that third child he looked elsewhere.

The bad version, and one that I am mote inclined to believe is that Rhaegar didn't tell Lyanna of the prophecy. He was sent to find the Knight of the Laughing Tree, he found her in the God's Eye and that's how the mess started. Lyanna was already infatuated with him (iirc the grand feast had been the night before and that's when she'd heard him sing)

In addition to that, he was the Prince and the Heir. You don't have to be Cersei to get blinded by that.

The whole dynamic was completely off. Rhaegar knew what he was doing. He knew the consequences and that's why he took her and kept her at the tower of Joy, otherwise he'd just have a bastard, or keep her as a paramour. But he knew how outrageous something like that would be.

He had an opportunity to "give" Lyanna back and he didn't.

Instead he started a war that ended with the brutal rape and murder of Elia and his already existing babies and poor teenage Lyanna all alone in Dorne.

Idk what Elia knew or though or didn't think but i believe that GRRM means for us to be very suspicious of R+L.

Besides throughout his book despite insisting upon the very young age of his characters (mainly girls) when being introduced to sexual situations the narrative always condemns them. For more thoughts on this let me suggest this video

ht tps: //youtu . be/QnYa0zSDl7o by Hill's Alive. It's her thoughts on this exact topic and I thing she makes some valid points.

Targaryen men and their prophecies and their ease to cast away their living children in favour of more future kids. The only thing that can bring the fall of the house of the dragon is the delusion of some of their Kings istg.

In the end no matter what one's thoughts on the R+L thing is (All opinions are valid and respected 🖤🖤 let's allow room for everyone) we can all joyfully be united under our hatred and rage over Aegon being Jon's name in the show. Rhaegar already had an Aegon! He was going for a Visenya!!! D&D kind of forgot about that i guess.

(besides aegon is so basic couldn't they do sth sexier? Side eye)

bestie you just do not miss

because whether you believe rhaegar to be a master manipulator (i am somewhat inclined towards that,,, growing up as the crown prince knowing you will probably have to usurp your father,,, you're not unaware of the moves you have to make) or not, there is something inherently unsettling about the way he approaches lyanna

his tragic background also indicates he had to grow up faster, should be mature enough to know exactly what he was doing!! (also that art piece released recently from the calendar i think with rhaegar and lyanna on the cover,,, the vibes are haunting which is very interesting to me)

and i think it's just like a man like rhaegar to think he is this savior and be determined to fulfill a prophecy that actually has far-reaching horrific implications on everyone around him with zero regards for the consequences (especially to the women,,, his wife is raped and murdered, his daughter is murdered, lyanna is left to die alone in childbirth, his mother is alone on dragonstone giving birth to his sister in terrifying conditions)

THAT VIDEO DOES NOT MISS, i think at the very least thinking critically about how and why it's presented like that is important

and all opinions and interpretations and shipping are respected in this house bc fandom and media is a very safe place to explore ideas and kinks and fantasies and i am a staunch supporter of rights and wrongs both being fun and important while also being aware there are implications and critical thinking to do at the same time

for real, i think a consistent theme is the hubris of men (particularly targ men: daemon, aemond, maegor, aegon I, etc) being their inevitable downfall LIKE WE GET IT YOU'RE HOT AND SPECIAL BUT PLS HAVE SOME NUANCE AND CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS

and i feel connected in this chilis tonight over rage for how D&D just gave up on any critical thinking about some of the more difficult concepts in the end, i know it's hard to give any targaryen a better name than aegon but sweaties i can think of at least 4 off the top of my head:')

EXACTLY HE NEEDED A WARRIOR PLS

(also this is just my pure want thing here is that if he's trying to recreate the 3 heads of the dragon, the third head should be a hot warrior woman,,, jon snow eat rocks give me a dark magic queen instead)

[vegantinatalist]

am i the only fucking person on earth who actually knows and understands my emotions 24/7 because i cant find anyone else like this and ive been looking all my life and its so isolating.

everyone i meet has the exact same story of “ah yes i mimic behavior to appear normal”, or “oh yeah i have emotion blindness im really bad at telling what im feeling”, or “oh sorry idk how to respond to other peoples emotion”, and it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to relate to that or even find a groove of friendship with anyone.

i feel like the only normal person in a world thats been taken over by bodysnatchers, or like im actually the abnormal one. im desperate to find others like me but wtf am i supposed to say, “oh woe is me im so isolated, arent there any other normal people?”

have i been lied to and im not normal at all? my parents and brothers were audhd, my classmates and friends were all audhd, my partners were all audhd, aaa its honestly torture but who tf would empathize with me in this? im always the absolute last of anyones concern, im supposed to have boundless empathy for all them though. and i always have but im hitting my breaking point. i just want friends i can actually relate to who dont trample me with their rampantly unchecked unaware emotions 24/7 and 0 ability to tend to my emotional needs, but i cant find them so i think im going to literally run into the woods to hide from others forever. i cant take it anymore.

[coconutcordiale]

steady pt three (i keep all my affection in a paper cup)

pt one | pt two | pt three | masterlist | prequel

pairing- rooster x female bartender!reader (no y/n)

synopsis-

You want to tell her you know how she feels, it’s truly unfair for someone to look this good with that mustache. There’s a bead of sweat rolling down his neck to his collarbone and you want nothing more than to follow it with your tongue. Alice looks like she agrees with you.

Completely unaware of his own effect, Bradley just swipes his card.

warnings- 18+ minors DNI, unprotected sex oops, light daddy kink/bradley bradshaw is a soft daddy dom that just wants to take care of his girl this is the hill i'll die on, overstimulation, oral (f receiving), lil bit of praise kink (can i write smut without someone -especially rooster- saying good girl, prob not), breeding kink if you squint but like...don't it's like half a line & i'm scared of kids so it's not really breeding kink idk, no kink negotiation here so not a good example of what you should do irl, brief mention of past infidelity (no current cheating)

length- 5.6k ish

an- i can't believe this is over this is literally the most difficult thing i've ever written, also for real publix sandwiches are the goat i wouldn't share mine with bradley. I’m sorry the end was so cheesy I hate myself lol ok ily all bye

this chapter title is also from only for a moment by lola marsh lmao i basically wrote 15k based on one song that's less than 3 minutes long

You slam the door a little harder than necessary when you get to the rental car.

“Did you get the closure you needed?” Bradley asks tentatively, probably wary of the chaos you know is simmering under your skin.

“Closure from another person is a myth,” you answer firmly. “Only you can give yourself closure.”

“So, no, in other words.”

You appreciate that he’s at least trying to keep the amusement out of his voice as you repeat his cheesy quotes back to him, but it's short-lived because everything feels too small, too suffocating in the muggy Austin air.

You almost don't tell Bradley, but a part of you recognizes you need to get the words out. That someone else needs know about you and Jake so it doesn't subsist only in your eyes, so it doesn't blind you as it disrupts your field of vision, bright spots of an incoming migraine.

“He said he’s in love with me.”

His knuckles go white around the steering wheel, and you raise an eyebrow.

After a beat he relaxes, tone frustratingly even. “Bold, considering he’s still married, right?”

“Bold,” you scoff. “That’s one way to put it. I didn’t bother to ask. No ring, but we all know how you pilots are about rings.”

“Why?”

You shrug. Because it doesn’t matter.

��I want to ask you something, but you have to promise not to get mad at me,” he continues, gaze fixed on the road.

Even though you know you’re unlikely to get mad at him, you grumble anyways. “No promises.”

“I’m not trying to sound judgmental. You obviously loved him. But can I ask, why you stayed so long? Wasn’t it excruciating?”

Loved. Past tense. You're surprised as you realize how true that feels, that Jake has maybe, finally, become someone you loved and not someone your heart still beats for.

“I’ve never been in a serious relationship before,” you admit, softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “At a certain point, maybe I started to think there was something wrong with me, a reason I wasn’t worth the effort of a real relationship. Like maybe what I had with Jake was better than I would ever get from someone else.”

You hear a pained noise from him, but barrel on, knowing if you don’t get the words out right now, they may live inside you forever.

“It wears on you after awhile. My guy friends are always acting sarcastic about it, wow must be so horrible to be pretty, so shitty that everyone wants to sleep with you. People say it enough, men confirm it with their actions, and eventually, you start to feel like that’s all you’re worth.

You shudder; you’ve never admitted that out loud before.

"I know what it looks like, but it was more than sex. I’d just never felt that way about anyone before.”

Bradley pulls into the parking lot of your hotel, but you’re staring straight ahead, admission having frozen you in place.

“I don’t know how to make you believe you’re worth more than that. Seresin was practically falling apart, and he hasn’t even seen you in almost a year, for fuck’s sake. Those guys that missed out on knowing you, they’re morons.”

He pauses and takes a deep breath, looks over at you and you feel his dark eyes burning into the side of your face.

“Cali, I—if you think he’s being serious, if you want to be with him, I know it’s complicated, but I have your back.”

Any ice that was thawing around you suddenly frosts again.

“You think I should try to work things out,” you say slowly. “With Jake.”

He flinches. “That’s what you’re taking from—fuck, never mind. I didn’t say that. I just want you to know I’m here for you, whatever you decide.”

Your stomach is sinking and you’re not entirely sure why.

“Thank you,” you manage to murmur, squeezing his forearm affectionately before getting out of the car, worried he’ll see the tears forming in your eyes.

It stays sunk as you get back to your hotel room, as you get ready for bed silently, as you bury yourself under the covers and turn your back to him.

He feels miles away in the other bed, somehow farther away than he does with a flight of stairs separating you at home in Florida.

Sure, a mini vacation to a wedding (even if it is to Texas of all places) is a little intense for friends, but that’s yours and Bradley’s thing if you’re being honest. You guys have spent the last six months being a little intense and over-committed. Being the only things to pull each other out of the dark places you longed to hide in.

You agreed to come, as a friend. It’s not like you guys pretended to be dating, it’s not like he didn’t introduce you to everyone as his friend from Florida.

You’re not sure when you started hoping for more, when you started thinking there was something promising constructing itself in the space between your apartments.

+

Rooster immediately knows it was a mistake to visit you at work. But you’re working the early shift and things have been so off since you guys got back from Texas. It’s like you’ve retreated into your shell, like you’ve put back on every layer he spent months peeling away.

You smile when you see him, but there’s something hollow in it, something not all there.

He’s pretty sure he overstepped asking you about Jake, but he doesn’t know how to bring it up again, how to apologize without making it worse.  

He couldn’t help it; he saw how Jake looked at you. Understands how Jake feels, knows all too well the magnetic pull of you, the involuntary twitch of fingers to touch you. But the way you stole glances after you stopped panicking at his presence…well he’s fairly certain you’ve never looked at him the way you tried to hide you were looking at Jake.

He felt all the air empty from the room the moment you two were aware of each other's presence.

Bradley doesn’t know how to compete with a love like that.

Despite all that he can’t stay away from you, can’t spend another night in his apartment wondering what you’re thinking.

Unfortunately, that means he’s in a touristy tiki bar, politely letting a girl chat him up while you busy yourself making sweet cocktails with overcomplicated garnishes just out of his line of sight.

She’s pretty. And nice. She’s drinking a Jungle Bird which he knows you don’t detest making, so he doesn’t feel bad when she orders another to stick around and talk to him. She laughs at his jokes and doesn’t tell him he’s an idiot for not liking The Office. As far as he can tell (given that he met her about five minutes ago) there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her.

Except for the fact that she’s not you, of course.

She excuses herself to the bathroom and you make your way over to his side of the bar, wordlessly putting a fresh beer in front of him.

“You should ask her out,” you suggest. “She’s gorgeous.”

Bradley stalls, blinks twice. His tongue is suddenly sticking to the roof of his mouth. “You think so?”

You roll your eyes. Usually, he secretly loves how much you roll your eyes, the fire that’s always lit behind them. Loves the bratty disposition you manage to express with one little look. He’s always liked how expressive your features are, how he can read your mood before you even say a word.

Right now though, it just makes him uneasy.

“Everyone thinks so, look at her.”

“No—that’s not what I—” he stutters. “I meant, you really think I should ask her out?”

“Yeah, she obviously likes you. It’s not like she’s going to say no.”

Bradley hates the way his heart sinks at your suggestion, but nods anyways, choosing not to correct your assumption that he’s stammering with nervousness over this girl he just met. He desperately wants to change the subject, to make sure he’ll be able to see you outside of the shell you put on for work.

“I have your suitcase at home if you want to get it after work. Sorry, I forgot it was still in the Bronco when I left the other morning.”

When he left for work after carrying your sleeping form up to his apartment, not wanting to risk waking you by searching for the keys to your place, because you looked too peaceful for him to wake up after the flight back.

He forced himself to sleep on the couch, despite how pretty you looked in his bed, how badly he wanted to crawl in with you, tell his students he got stuck in Texas, and keep you in bed with him forever.

He walks home when you tell him you'll come by after Beth takes over, after Jungle Bird slides him her number on a napkin, hoping it’ll clear his head. Sits on the beach, watches the sky darken over the water. Wonders if he should play it cool and wait to text her. Wonders if he even wants to text her at all.

He knows he’s ready to date again after Lauren, has been for a while now, so eventually, he does text, because pining after you isn’t going to get him anywhere.

He thinks he can be your friend, if that's all he's going to get.

He’s just barely gotten through his front door when you knock, sweaty and red-faced.

“Just got back from a run,” you tell him, clearly having seen the question perched on his lips. You’re still breathing a little hard and it’s sending his blood in the opposite direction of where he needs it to be going.

The sweat dripping down into the valley of your breasts is giving him decidedly not friendly thoughts.

“You hate running,” he says instead, brows furrowed.

You shrug. “Did you make plans with the girl from the bar?”

He rubs the back of his neck, feeling awkward.

“Yeah,” he answers finally. “We’re going out this weekend.”

“That’s great,” you say flatly, immediately turning to leave, picking up your forgotten suitcase a little too aggressively, like it’s done something to offend you.

“Hey, wait, hold on.” Bradley reaches out for your arm, tugging gently and forcing you to stop in your tracks. “Are we in a fight right now? Is this about the wedding?”

“No,” you answer petulantly. You won’t meet his eyes, instead staring down at where his fingers encircle your wrist.

“No, we’re not in a fight or no, this isn’t about the wedding?”

“This isn’t about the wedding,” you reply through clenched teeth. “Not entirely, at least.”

He can’t help but let pride swell through him at your words, knowing a few months ago you would’ve lied about being fine until you were blue in the face.

It still feels like he’s taking a shot in the dark, a tiny flicker of hope igniting in his chest. “You told me to ask her out.”

You cringe, face twisting in pain like you just sucked on a lemon. “Only because you were pushing me to go back to Jake! I thought that was what you wanted. I thought—”

You’re breathing hard, but he’s pretty sure your chest is heaving with emotion, not from your run. Your mouth is open to continue when he says your name.

Not Cali. It sounds hard and serious as it passes his lips. You wince and he immediately feels bad.  

“Stop,” he continues firmly, determined not to lose his nerve at the hurt crossing your features, willing himself not to get worked up and loud. “Don’t put words in my mouth. That’s not what I was doing. I know we went to the wedding as friends, but it’s stupid to deny there’s been something building between us for a while now.”

Your expression softens and Bradley knows instantly that you feel it too.

“I just didn’t want you to shut the door on Jake out of some obligation to me. I want you to choose me, for me. Not because I’m not him.”

He sees the moment it clicks for you, the second you start seeing how the wedding must’ve looked through his eyes.

“I’ll never go back to Jake,” you say quietly. “For lots of reasons that have nothing to do with you.”

Something inside him unfurls, anxiety sitting in his stomach loosening, but he’s not done, can’t be done, until his intentions are crystal clear.

“What do you want? Do you even know? Because I know what I want.” He grabs your arms, turning your body to face him fully. Hooks a finger under your chin, making you look up at him as he tries to gather the courage to say this next part. “And I can’t settle for anything less. If you want casual, I can’t give you that.”

“I don’t want you to go out with her.” It’s as good as an admission from you, he knows that.

Dark eyes warm as the beginning of a smile stretches across his face. His chest is lightening, warmth bubbling within. “How come?”

“You’re smart enough to do the math,” you mutter, rolling your eyes. But there’s a bright, happy tinge edging at the corners of your mouth.

He’s full-on grinning now, reaching to pull you into him by the waist. He tucks his face into your hair, so you won’t see the giddy expression on his face. “Tell me anyways.”

“Want you all to myself,” you mumble, lips ghosting over his skin to make him shudder.

You might have more to say, but Bradley used all his patience flying today and his hand tilts your chin to him, lips covering yours before you can make another sound.

You make a tiny mewl in surprise against his mouth as he grips you, tongue sliding past your lips and his blood immediately rushes south.

Making a face when Bradley manages to pull himself away from your lips, you look down at your sweaty sports bra. “I need to shower.”

“Shower here,” he suggests. “I’ll make us dinner. You can spend the night, maybe? And I won’t sleep on the couch this time? I promise I’ll behave.”

Bradley sees his hopeful eyes mirrored back at him when he finally takes a chance to look at your face.

Things are so shakily composed between the two of you, that he’s somewhat afraid if he lets you go back downstairs to your apartment you’ll spiral and come up with a hundred reasons not to give you guys a shot.

Maybe he’s being insecure, sue him.

You seem to understand where he’s coming from, the tenuous connection hanging delicately in the air between the two of you. Nodding, your fingers play with the hem of his shirt fitfully before you rush to his shower, like if you waited for another second you might not be able to peel yourself off him.

He inflates with pride at that too.

Bradley overestimated his abilities, probably, when he promised to behave. He didn’t think about how hard it would be not to think about you naked in his shower while he seeks out ingredients to throw together for dinner.

Didn’t think about how good you’d smell, fragrant with his body wash as you wrap your arms around him from behind.

Bradley’s movements are shaky, and jerky when he turns around to kiss you. He clears his throat, and only just barely keeps himself from running his hands underneath the baggy top that hangs off your shoulders. “Is that my shirt?”

You freeze. “I…yes. Is that okay? I didn’t have anything with me, but I can run downstairs…”

You say something under your breath that he can’t quite make out. Your face is completely unreadable and Bradley’s body flashes hot and cold every other second.

“No, don’t, it, uh, looks good on you,” he says finally when he’s pretty sure he’s not going to rip it in the process of pulling it over your head.

Bradley’s taking deep breaths, using grounding techniques. He breathes in through his nose, and out through his mouth. He knows you’re not trying to tease him. You’re not doing anything, not really.

This is Florida, everyone is scantily clad more often than they’re not.

If he’s going to behave, he’s going to have to tap into that self-control he beat himself over the head with every time he saw you in a bikini before today.

It’s just so much worse now that he’s allowed to touch you.

“It’s hard, with you looking like that in my shirt. I want to fuck you stupid,” he admits.

Your mouth drops open in surprise.

“But I think we should take things slow. I don’t want to mess this up by jumping in before we’re ready.”

His cock twitches when he notices the disappointment you’re not trying very hard to hide.

“Okay,” you pout. “You’re probably right.”

You turn to open the fridge, leaning to grab a water and his shirt rides up a little higher on your already bare legs.

Bradley groans, head falling back to stare at the ceiling. “Baby, you’re killing me.”

+

You can’t believe how much you hated Florida beaches when you first moved. The Keys are beautiful, with endless white sand and clear water.

You convince Bradley to stop by Publix on the way back, with promises of pasta for dinner. You really just want a sub to take to work tomorrow, but you’re not going to tell him that.

The poor cashier practically swallows her tongue when she sees Bradley, shirt open over his bare chest and covered in sand, sunglasses sliding down his nose that’s pink from the sun. He makes sure to look at her name tag and smiles genuinely at her when he asks, Alice, how’s your day going?

You’re going to pass out.

You want to tell her you know how she feels, it’s truly unfair for someone to look this good with that mustache. There’s a bead of sweat rolling down his neck to his collarbone and you want nothing more than to follow it with your tongue. Alice looks like she agrees with you.

Completely unaware of his own effect, Bradley just swipes his card.

It’d be infuriating if it wasn’t so adorable.

This time you’re counting all the ways he’s not Jake, but it’s a good thing. Jake would’ve preened, leaned into smirk, just so he could see the blush rise on the poor girl’s cheeks.

It’s not that that’s bad, you know you do the same sometimes. Smirking at guys you know are giving you a once-over while you make their drinks, sparkle in your eyes because you don’t always hate the attention.

But it’s oddly endearing with Bradley, how he doesn’t seem to know the effect he has on people. Like he doesn’t fly multi-million-dollar planes for a living, like he couldn’t use that to get any girl he wanted in his bed.

He’s just being mean when you guys get to the car, flinging his unbuttoned shirt off and into the back of the Bronco and muttering something about tan lines.

Your mouth is watering.

When you get back to your complex, you snag his forgotten shirt and form a plan.

“Caliiiiiii,” Bradley sings as he bursts into your apartment. It’s a good thing you never listened to Beth about locking your front door because shirtless Bradley Bradshaw is a sight to behold. “Showered so you wouldn’t complain about—”

You hear him stop dead in his tracks at the entrance to your kitchen. When you look over your shoulder at him those plush lips are parted, eyes roaming over the back of you. You’re clad in one of his marginally less offensive button-ups (at least there aren’t any birds on it), thrown hastily over your bikini.

“How gentlemanly of you to shower for dinner with little ol’ me,” you giggle. “But I have to admit I haven’t had time for more than rinsing the sand off.”

He ignores you completely, tone accusing like you hadn’t spoken at all. “You’re doing this on purpose.”

You consider denying it but can’t fully hold back the smirk forming. “Well, you seemed to enjoy it when I wore your shirt last time.”

Bradley just nods dumbly.

“Anyways, don’t get too excited, this is one of three dishes I can actually make, but I thought we’d…” You trail off because he’s suddenly right behind you, crowding you so you feel the heat radiating from him as he brackets you with his arms.

“Nope,” he says tersely. “Dinner can wait. Turn off the stove.”

He turns you around so he can kiss you, slow and deliberate. His tongue slides between your lips assertively, hands tapping on your thighs as a sign for you to hop backward and up on the counter. “Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

“Wait, what?” You ask, but he’s already on his knees.

You should’ve known then and there he was going to be nothing but trouble.

The first time Bradley makes you come, you’re still in the kitchen. He’s kneeling with his face buried in your pussy, skimpy bathing suit bottoms long flung behind him, lips curled around your clit insistently even as your thighs clutch his head in a way that must be uncomfortable. After all his talk of wanting to wait and do things right, it’s almost funny. Would be, if your mind wasn’t currently busy whiting out.

The second time, he drags you to the living room before you’ve had any time to recover and pulls your back against his chest in front of the couch. The tall mirror in the corner of the living room displays the absolute debauchery unfolding on the floor in the middle of your apartment.

“Keep your legs open, baby. You can do that, right? Be good for me?”

You’re nodding before you even know what you’re doing, head jerking up and down like a bobblehead.

“Fuck, look at you,” he croons in between the nips he’s determinedly pressing on your neck. Barely even a command, you still look up, watching your reflection as his lips trace across the top of your shoulder, mustache leaving red marks in its wake. One hand is busy tugging the strings of your bathing suit top loose so he can toss it out of his way, while the other drifts to tease your inner thighs.

Bronze eyes meet yours in the mirror and he grins, like the cat that got the canary. “Gorgeous, darlin’.” And then he pushes two fingers into you without warning, the stretch making you keen as your head falls back on his shoulder. “You’ve no idea how much I’ve thought about you like this.”

“Ohmygo—Bradley.” You turn your head to kiss him, but it ends up being little more than your lips slotting together and you moaning straight into his mouth as he fucks his fingers in relentlessly, your hands gripping his arms like they can’t decide if they want to pull him in closer or push him away, oversensitive as you are from his mouth.

You sink into him, into his hands, his grip. Let it erase the gravity that keeps you tethered to the ground, let yourself flutter high above the clouds.

You don’t even realize how close you are until he curls his fingers inside you to graze that soft spot, thumbing at your clit. His other hand palms your tit and tweaks your nipple at the same time his teeth close on your neck and you’re done for, letting it crash into you, cunt clenching around his fingers and back arching away from his chest.

It takes you a few seconds to come down, eyes closed as you blindly turn your head in search of Bradley’s mouth. He kisses you sweetly, but briefly and you make a noise of discontent when he pulls away. You open your eyes to glower at him but when you do, you see a filthy gleam in his eyes that warms you straight to your core like you didn’t just come twice in two different rooms of your house.

His fingers are suddenly pressing at your lips, and you watch his eyes glaze over as you take them in and suck, licking your release from his fingers. You’re suddenly very, very aware of how hard he is behind you, thighs clenching at the realization that he’s straining against his shorts, grinding against your ass because he’s so turned on from getting you off.

God, he’s so perfect it’s not even fair.

His digits in your mouth are giving you your own wicked ideas, about returning the favor as you wriggle your way around to face him. It’s a good thing his other arm immediately goes to support you because you’re pretty sure your legs are made of jelly.

He seems to read your mind, or maybe just the way your cheeks hollow around his fingers as you look down to the bulge in his pants, lips already forming wicked promises as he pulls his hand away from you. “Next time, baby. Need to be inside you.”

The high-pitched whimper that leaves you at that would be embarrassing if you could currently remember that you have downstairs neighbors. You can’t, though, so who cares.

“Want you to ride me,” he grunts. “Have to see how gorgeous my girl looks bouncing in my lap. Can you do that for me?”

To be honest, you’re not sure you can. It’s a 50/50 chance your legs will give out the moment Bradley stops holding you up, but you want to, want to so badly.

You nod anyways, figuring odds are Bradley will catch you if you melt into the floor, and he swings around so he can lay flat on the rug. His shirt slips off your shoulders, getting trapped around your elbows as you lean forward to support yourself on his chest. You’re about to fling it off when he makes a strangled noise, hands going to bring the material back up.

“Baby, please.” There’s a little whine in Bradley’s voice that turns you inside out. “Keep it on.”

That sweetness, that little crack in his dominance is way hotter than it has any right to be.

You make quick work of his shorts, biting your lip as you pull him out, his tip red and leaking precum.

“Christ, Bradley, this how you got your callsign?” You manage to mumble as he pulls you up to balance your hand on his chest again.

The bastard winks. “I know you can take it. Been so good for me, why stop now?”

Using your free hand to guide you, you sink down slowly, not bothering to hold in the moans at the stretch of him.

Stars are bursting behind your eyes that are squeezed tight against the intensity of it, your slick walls are oversensitive and shaking already. Bradley’s hands are clenched on your hips, trying not to move before you’re ready.

You roll your hips, starting to find your rhythm, and he groans, head thumping back against the floor.

When he looks back up at you his eyes are almost completely black. “Look so fucking beautiful bouncing on my cock, darlin'.”

He reaches up to grab your tits, thumbs brushing over your nipples just to make you squirm even more, before trailing his fingers down to your clit as he starts shifting up to meet the grind of your hips and it’s so much, too much, sending sparks straight through you.

You shudder. “Bradley—da—I can’t.”

There’s something knowing in his gaze, at your pace stuttering, at your half-formed words trying to claw their way out of your throat. He slows as you do, ever so slightly pulling his finger from your clit. “Need a break, baby?”

You bite your lip, refusing to meet his molten gaze, giving only a tiny shake of your head, trying to find your rhythm again.

When he smirks, you can feel it permeating the air around you. “That’s what I thought. One more, I know you can give me one more.”

He plants his feet flat on the floor behind you, giving himself the power and leverage to fuck you in earnest from below. You’re trembling, you know sounds are leaving your mouth, but you’ve no idea if they’re words at this point.

You’re not fluttering above the clouds anymore, you’re flying, speeding through, fast and hard and riotous.

Bradley’s voice is low and gravelly, but he’s looking up at you with reverence. “It’s okay, baby, you can let go. I’ve got you, gonna take care of my girl.”

“Daddy,” you whine, any sense of coherency, shame, or worry having left you two orgasms ago.

The sound that rips from Bradley’s chest at that is rough and guttural, hands going to your hips in a bruising hold. “That’s right, gonna come for daddy like a good girl, aren’t you?”

You’re nodding, babbling, keening yesdaddyyesfuckbradley— You dig your nails into his chest as it hits you. Electricity ripples under your skin, through your veins, dominoes cascading down and hitting every nerve ending in your body. It’s right on the edge of pain, body worn out and spent from tensing and releasing.

“Fuck, baby, so gorgeous when you come on my cock, gonna fuck my girl so full,” he grunts, big hands bouncing you like a ragdoll in his lap.

Even through the fog, his words hit you hard. “Fuck—please, daddy.”

His thrusts get shallower, wilder, before his back arches from the floor, mouth spilling incoherent praise, holding you down onto him as he spills inside of you.

You slump down onto him, the only sound in the room yours and Bradley’s heavy breathing.

You’re falling apart, body trembling and shaking, and you’re still on the floor. You’ve no idea how you’ll survive when Bradley finally takes you to a bed.

“Jesus,” he whispers. “And here I was thinking you couldn’t get any hotter.”

You flush pink immediately, wincing as you move to get off him, wetness sliding down your thighs. He scoops you up almost immediately, carrying you to the shower and mumbling under his breath about making sure to keep daddy’s cum inside of you.

“Oh my god, Bradley,” you whine. “I can’t go again."

The pasta is completely unsalvageable by the time you get out of the shower. He’s lucky you’re willing to share your precious sandwich with him.  

When you see your downstairs neighbor the next day, she immediately reddens and turns on her heel to get away from you.

+

You’re back at the beach when Penny gets a call from you.

“Burning off some energy,” you tell her when she asks what you’re up to. “I’ve had a lot of that lately.”

“Should’ve just let me introduce you to Rooster from the beginning.”

“Who says this has anything to do with Rooster?” You ask, even though both of you know you’re lying through your teeth.

“Nothing wrong with being happy, honey.” You can hear her smiling through the phone.

“I might actually be happy?” You joke. “Is that what this is?”

“You guys are in the honeymoon phase. Every song on the radio is about you, neither of you can do anything wrong—”

“Oh, he does plenty wrong, believe me—”

Penny isn’t bothering to hide her laugh anymore, but her tone is still soft and caring. “It’s sweet. Rooster’s a good guy. He’s been through a lot.”

“He is. I’m kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop,” you admit. “Wish I could just enjoy it.”

“It’s hard. You don’t give your heart away easily,” Penny responds like you’re easy to read, easy to understand.

Maybe you are.

“You wouldn’t be taking this chance unless he was worth it,” she adds when you don’t answer, too busy thinking about how maybe that mask you’ve always worn isn’t as opaque as you thought it was.

Maybe that’s fine. Maybe you really are as strong as you pretended to be with that mask.

That’s the thing about masks. Sometimes you realize they’re more a part of you than you ever thought. When you thought you were faking it the whole time.

“He’s definitely worth it.”

Rooster raises an eyebrow at you, having come back to the tree you’ve taken residence under.

“Talking about my other boyfriend,” you tease, trying not to get distracted by the swimsuit that seems to be riding lower than it was before he ventured into the water.

“Hand the phone to Rooster, I want to talk to him.”

You giggle, sticking it out in his direction. “Penny wants to talk to you.”

“If you think my loyalty here lies with you, you're sorely mistaken,” Penny says, warning dancing all over her tone.

“You don’t have to be worried, Pen.” Bradley looks at you, eyes warm, fingers drifting up your legs. “If anyone’s gonna get their heart broken here, it’s me.”

d a y 3 6 7

You don’t notice the date, but a year since you moved to Florida, almost to the day, you realize you’re in love with Bradley Bradshaw.

As it turns out, loving Bradley is like flying high above the clouds.

[redshiftsinger]

yeah I felt like this was pretty clear pretty early on, that at no point do they genuinely like him as a person.

Some of that is absolutely direct racism. Ed was always going to be othered in that room unless somehow no one noticed that he's not caucasian. They literally introduce the first characters among the partygoers by having them declare that they're "huge fans" of phrenology, which is just a big bunch of pseudoscience put together to justify racism. That's not accidental and ignoring it would be a big failure of media literacy.

But also, they're not the kind of people who are trying to form any genuine social connections. They're just like Jack says about pirates: all in various stages of fucking each other over. Even if Ed were white, they'd never be looking at him as a potential new friend, not really. They were always going to have their sights on what they think they can gain for themselves.

Which isn't really a counterpoint to the racism at all. Aggressive, toxic self-interest drives a lot of racist bullshit (feel like I need to note that like masculinity, not all self-interest is inherently toxic. Healthy self-interest includes things like setting and upholding good personal boundaries). But the racism aspect isn't the one I feel most qualified to explore, plus you've already done a great job with it, so I'm gonna focus more on the aspect of the social dynamic they had established for themselves before Ed even entered the picture.

They start out trying to flatter "Godfrey Thornrose" and inspire the envy of the other guests by monopolizing the attention of someone they believe is famous. It's the same kind of treatment that Frenchie and Oluwande are getting, because the guy Frenchie picked out for their first mark believes that Oluwande is royalty, and while the racism in that guy is still very clear, he's trying to kiss ass because he thinks that by sucking up to royalty, he may stand to personally benefit. Even if that prince is a black man. Class status still has power -- this isn't a nuance-free portrayal of racism. There's intersectionality in play.

Conversely, they believe that "Jeff" is merely an accountant. Ed hasn't set himself up with a perceived status that overrides the biases they have against him because of his race. When Frenchie says "you know you can pick anything right" he's not saying "accounting is lame" he's saying "you're not shooting high enough, friend".

Of course it's not Ed's fault that he doesn't understand all this. He's never had the opportunity to learn it before. Stede was ill-equipped to explain the issues of racism in that environment, Stede has plenty of blind spots due to his own privilege. And presumably Frenchie assumed he'd already know what he's doing well enough to be doing it on purpose -- I mean, if I was going to idk an academic conference or something with Beyonce in disguise so that people won't realize she's Beyonce, I'd generally assume that she's reasonably aware of the nuances of the situation and is making conscious choices with that knowledge in mind, until/unless something happened to make it clear that she's not (I picked an academic conference for example here because it would be completely absurd to suggest that actual real-life Beyonce might not know how to navigate a crowd of superficial ass-kissers and at least low-key racists, but it's a lot more plausible that she might be out of her depth in a room full of professors since that's not directly an aspect of her career. And also because my dad was actually a professor so like Stede grew up around posh knobs, I grew up around academics, and they definitely have their own set of ingroup/outgroup signifiers. No insult whatsoever is intended to the intelligence of Queen Bey with this hypothetical).

So Ed's out of his depth, unaware of the ways in which he's set up to fail before he even starts. And initially it's fine, they mostly ignore him in favor of "Godfrey Thornrose" -- the person they think is more important, and therefore more likely to benefit them to gain the favor of. When Stede fumbles the "phrenology reading" thing, they start to lose interest in him as they realize he's not actually as skilled (either at actual phrenology, or at putting on a good show of faking it -- not sure they really care about the distinction there so much as they care about the perception of proximity to power and fame) as they thought. Meanwhile, Ed draws attention to himself and to the fact that he doesn't really fit in with them, by making a comment that's clearly not the sort of comment one "in the know" about the rules of engagement at these kinds of events would make. He plays it off as a joke when he realizes he's misstepped, and there's that moment of tension where it's not clear if the partygoers will buy it. And then Antoinette laughs, and cues everyone else to laugh by declaring him "absolutely hilarious".

I'd suggest that that's the moment they turned on Ed. Before that, he was mostly being ignored -- they didn't think he was important, therefore they didn't think he was worth paying attention to. But then they realized that they weren't going to get anything out of brownnosing "Godfrey", probably assuming that he's just as much of a fake as they all are, so whatever, just ignore that guy now. Maybe make fun of him a little, because in their circle status is gained by tearing others down, but otherwise he's unimportant. Sure, they realized he was an impostor. They just thought he was the same kind of impostor they all are, just another rich jackass pretending to be more interesting than he really is while jockeying for status, rather than realizing he's actually completely lied about his identity. But now, well, they don't have a famous guy to kiss up to, so they might as well just mess with someone for entertainment. Play up the idea that they're fawning over him, so they can tear him down later and laugh about how he really believed that they thought he was interesting.

Sometimes I see some excellent discussion around s1e5, which is just such a meaty episode, and a fun little game to play on rewatches is trying to spot the moment Ed's "fans" at the party stop laughing with him and start laughing at him.

And honestly? I kinda think it adds to the episode if you understand it as them laughing at him all along, with him just being too caught up in thinking it's possible for him to "win this interaction" to notice.

There's definitely a shift, there's a turning point at the dinner table when the angles go all unsettling as Ed realizes what's been happening, when Antoinette reaches for the bows in his beard in a very on-the-nose mirror of the experience pretty much every poc has ever had of someone feeling entitled to touch our hair, when a cork pops in the background and Ed flinches and they just keep laughing at him, but Ed is so unused to the passive-aggressive style of racism he experienced that I truly think they've been laughing at him all along and he just wasn't forced to acknowledge it until that moment.

From the start, they exoticize Ed, playing up his outlandish stories and making him the center of attention, and rewatching is so unsettling because you know they don't see Ed as a person, they see him as a novelty. Stede, unused to both the apparently positive attention Ed is getting and not equipped to notice the racist undertones, can't expect what's going to happen, and Ed's certainly more used to the kind of racism where people just call him a donkey to his face, so he tries so fucking hard to win these people over, to get them to laugh with him, unaware that they're already sharing a joke at his expense.

And I think it's honestly hard to get the whole point of the episode if you don't approach it with this reading! From the minute Ed walks in there, the only brown guest in the room, he's "lost" the game he wanted to play. It's a confirmation for him of his mother's warning that some people aren't meant for that life and never will be, and it's the reason why, when Stede tells him he thought Ed was actually quite sophisticated, letting him know that he'd done nothing fucking wrong, Ed falls for that man like a pile of bricks.

[tuiyla]

You think Santana never found out about the Mayan wedding? (this sounds like I'm calling you stupid lol please know that's not what I mean at all! I just want to know your thoughts) I always assumed Tina or someone would have told her. Although if she did know then how would Sam continue being alive🤔 I can't believe Brittany's first marriage wasn't even with Santana 😭 I can't believe flopson has some sort of a career in hollywood

That's a good point, s4 one-sided Santina feud wouldn't stand for Santana living in blissful ignorance lol. Imagine this: Tina's attempt at "getting back at" Santana backfires. Because of her "one word: Bram. gotta go hon" Santana is back at McKinley yet again and performing Nutbush, not what Tina wants when she's trying to prove she's the divaest of all. So, blinded by pettiness and maybe getting wind of Santana wanting Britt back, she lets it slide to Santana (with a smirk on of course).

"Oh, didn't you hear? Sam and Brittany got married just before Christmas. That's right, married."

And Tina's really proud of herself for a second because Santana's been stealing her thunder all year and this is her gotcha moment (for some reason lol). But instead of Santana being pissed, she just... starts crying. And Tina's like, shit, she doesn't know what to do here. Except she does, because suddenly the one-sided feud even Santana "psychic third eye" Lopez is unaware of doesn't seem that important.

I don't think Santina would actually have a heart-to-heart here but you're right, why wouldn't Tina tell her? Even putting the ridiculous and beloved feud apart, Santinacedes have their gossip line going. So Tina's bound to blurt it out to both of Bram's past significant others that the two (kinda, almost, not really) got married. Suffice to say Santana takes it way more seriously, and personally, than Mercedes does.

Luckily it was just a joke wedding because Sheldon the king stepped in but, within the show's logic, Bram fully believe they're married for like what, a week? And Brittany can explain it away to Santana and not that Santana had any entitlement to her anyway at that point but, I mean, fuck, it's gotta still hurt you know? I don't believe for a second Santana wouldn't spiral over it even just a little bit. Imagine if your ex who you've been in love with for years and only broke up with due to long distance told you she got married to a dude she'd been dating for a literal week.

Oh and to answer the question itself, whether Santana ever found out about the Mayan wedding... Idk. Probably? Sooner or later? It does hugely matter how, though, because it's different to find out from Tina as Bram are actively dating and to, say, hear a throwaway line form Britt when Brittana are engaged/married. But she'd be hurt either way. Well at least thank fuck Brittany had one actual marriage and one marriage only. Focusing on the happy thought of Brittana being wives instead of the utter insult of the Mayan wedding lol.

On the note of Flopson, ughhhh. I wish no ill on him as a person but god do I wish he stayed far, far away from Glee. What a gigantic flop of a screenwriter I hate almost every single thing he did.

[cosmiclatte28]

Friendship, Love, Courage

MY FIRST EVER COLLAB!! HOSTED BY THE WONDERFUL @danishmiilk

Characters: Renjun x reader, NoMin!

Fluff romance

Warning : mentions of “stealing”, quite a broken trust but its ending nicely

TW : Stress (?)

HERE WE GO!! I worked so hard on this (even had 2 other friends checked on this and they approved this thanks to both of you #they’re_not_in_tumblr

word count : 12 pages idk how much but come on finish it for me 🥺🥺🥺 thanks

tagging @yutahoes @neopalette @full-hd-sun @swagmonsterofficial @nini-eexxo @hen-marks99 At this point I'm just tagging my moots coz this was my first attempt of collab and i deadass worked so hard on this... it better be read by someone even if they don't like it but they read it 🤭💖 @superm-net @multifandomnet @trashlord-007 @ahsshilee-me @charmingyong

You smile shyly when the cute prefect in blue robe tosses a small smile to you when you pass by him on the moving stairs. He continues his tour of guiding the new wizards and witches into the magical castle, telling them stories, showing them the common room, and helping them adjust to the new living area.

You gasp when you feel a slap on your shoulder, quickly you turn your head to face the now annoyed friend standing beside you.

“Really (y/n)? You’re once again frozen in place when that honey boy you adore walks by.” Jaemin, in his green robe, slicks his blonde hair away while throwing some flirty smile to the younger girls passing by the two of you. They chuckle and blush at his action, unaware of the fact that Na Jaemin already has his eyes on someone.

You glare at him, quickly covering his mouth before catching attention of the living paintings hung on the walls. No, not even the paintings should know about your feelings to that cute Ravenclaw prefect.

“Shut that big mouth of yours please. Don’t you know the walls have ears here?!” you dust off your red robe and continue walking to the dining hall. Shaking aside the cute smile of Huang Renjun away from your head. You’ve met Renjun from the first day of school, he was pure blood with the Hatstall incident at his sorting ceremony. The sorting hat spent a good five minutes pondering if he should be in Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Alas the house of the witty won the cute half-blood. As much as you wish to get sorted into the same house as his (mainly because he is cute), once the hat is on, it sorted you to the house of the brave. You’re still happy though to be one of the brilliant half-bloods in the Gryffindor house.

Renjun was very nice of you, when you first felt lonely in the big school (funny how you, a Gryffindor can feel lonely eh? But that’s your life). When you were struggling to find your way through the halls you had to thank Renjun for accompanying you whenever you had to move classes. But your relationship with him is purely just as close as a stranger. Renjun never sits beside you, nor does he hang out with you, he sits with his own smart gang. For two years he purely just helped you get around the halls. Instead of befriending Renjun, you become friends with the two wizards in your batch, the generous Hufflepuff who helps you ace your Herbology class: Lee Jeno. He is your first bestie, and since he enjoys your loud and fun personality, he calls you one of his friends.

The handsome blonde in green robe by your side earlier is your other best friend, Na Jaemin. A pureblood descending from the Slytherin family. You don’t know how Jaemin wants to be friends with you, a Gryffindor, but here you are. If Jeno helps you with herbology, Jaemin is there for you in potion classes. Though at first you think Jaemin is just using you to help him pass transfiguration and magical creatures. Turns out it was the total opposite, Jaemin is interested in Jeno, and the only person he sees is nice enough to be his wingman is you.

You don’t mind this though since you’ve seen how sincere Jaemin is when it comes to defending you and cheering you up. You know it’s just his ego that doesn’t let him say he is being friends with you because you two click. Screw anyone who made the unwritten rules that a Slytherin and Gryffindor cannot be friends. Well you understand since he is a Pure Slytherin. No one expects Slytherin to befriend Gryffindor even worse a half blood.

Back to the mean time, you walk with Jaemin on your side to reach the library where Jeno has reserved a place for you two. It’s your fourth year in Hogwarts which means you and your friends have to start preparing for the O.W.L test to be taken in your last fifth year. Although the three of you are gifted with brilliant heads, no one can slack their O.W.L and expect to pass. Here you are, limiting your free time and getting your ass dragged by Jeno to always study when you have free time.

“I miss playing quidditch.” You whisper after one hour of sitting down in the library and sticking your nose into the lines and lines of scribbles.

Jeno snickers, “You miss quidditch or you miss being in the same air as Renjun?”

You slap his hand that lays on the table and the young boy groans, “You’re evil! You could be in Slytherin, gosh thank heaven you’re not there or you’ve turned me into a stone.”

Jaemin just smirks, well he likes this side of you. The semi-evil part in your innocent-like façade.

“Dramatic, Lee Jeno. I love flying on the broom and chasing the balls.” You lied and if someone had given you the Veritaserum, Jeno’s guess was right. Your team likes to practice with the Ravenclaw’s team; don't ask why when your team captain is clearly flirting with the Ravenclaw’s captain.

“Come on, no one will buy that lie. It’s been four years of secretly crushing Renjun, why don’t you try to at least “befriend” him.” Jaemin sets aside his book and rests his chin on one of his hands.

You focus back on your book, trying to not fall into Jaemin’s hypnotizing eyes that can make you spill truths. “I am his friend. He never calls me an enemy.”

“Yeah not like that, I mean bring him here to our group study, ask him to sit with you during mealtimes. Invite him to join us when we’re strolling around Hogsmeade.” Jeno whispers.

The three of you shut up when a shadow appears on your table and drop a pile of books.

“Excuse me, mind sharing the table? The place is full and yours is the only one available.” A soft voice greets three of you and like robots, you turn your heads slowly to widen your eyes and gasp when the guy of your gossip is standing here.

“Oh Renjun, yes you can. Please,” Jaemin kindly brings his books to his side and you throw him a death glare. Well, the available space is the one on your side.

“Thank you, hey (y/n)! It’s been a while,” Renjun smiles at you. You just smile and nod, well yes you rarely see him in class, mostly because your schedule didn’t match his and both of you stopped playing quidditch.

You swear, that was the longest one hour in your life. Renjun’s soft sweet fragrance of sweet baked vanilla from the side is enough to make your heart beat faster, not to mention how cute he looks with his glasses when he is focusing on the charm textbook. You know if this guy is going to sit here all day, none of the materials written in the book will be planted in your brain. Still, Jeno and Jaemin had the audacity to invite Renjun into your small study group.

“Hey Renjun, next time why don’t you join us to study for O.W.L?” Jeno asks when all of you clean up your belongings and head for dinner.

Renjun’s smile lights up and he laughs nervously, “Well if that is okay with three of you, I don’t have any friends to study with yet.”

“You’re most welcome here! Just ask (y/n) later about our meeting times. Jeno can help with herbology and I can help with Potions. You can help us with charms! (y/n) here is the queen of transfiguration.” Jaemin welcomingly says all of this. Though most people may be blinded by his sweet words, you want to smack the life out of him when you see his glinting eyes taunting you.

You want to object, saying that his schedule won’t work with yours, but the cat has your tongue and all you can do is stay quiet as Renjun thanks Jaemin for inviting him to the group.

With that, Renjun chooses to walk around the grounds for a while before dinner. Your heart is bursting any second whenever he looks up to glance at the sky and you can see his perfectly sculptured face. No, it is not awkward, he casually talks with you about how he also misses quidditch, he also shares funny stories of the first-year students getting lost in the hallways just like you. Is he teasing you about getting lost in the hallway? Well since it is Renjun you just smile, had it been Jeno or Jaemin their hairs would already be in your hand.

“They’re just like you. Looking so cute when they’re lost and confused, afraid to miss their class.” Renjun stares at you and you laugh.

“I know, it was hard okay memorizing this big hall! Not to mention the moving stairs.” You finally feel less nervous and you can start talking with less stuttering.

“Well, if you’re ever confused just call me. I’ll assist you again like back then.” He chuckles and you laugh.

Well, you sort of have to treat Jeno and Renjun for a butterbeer maybe, thanks to them you finally get to walk around and talk with Renjun on the ground after four years.

That night on the paved grounds. You sit down while playing with your wand, swishing it while practicing some chants (without actually doing it). You sit on one of the grounds, leg straight while you lean on one of the pillars there. There is a soft footstep coming to you and someone took the opposite part of the pillars. You turn your head to catch Renjun’s body mirroring yours, but he is holding a book.

“Complicated.” He shrugs coyly.

You toss your head to the side and smile "Renjun, how did you find me? " Your easy-going Gryffindor traits show up and Renjun calmly looks up from his book to look over his shoulder to you too. “Maybe from this?” he offers you a Marauder’s Map and you gasp.

“How can you have one?” you want to take it from his hand, but he is faster.

Before you can ask more questions, Renjun diverts the topic and asks you about the group study. "So, are you sure your Slytherin and Hufflepuff boys want me to be in the group?" Renjun bashfully asks you this.

You laugh "They're more than happy when you accept their offer. Truth is we all suck at the hard charms. We need a tutor and we also need one more friend to make the space full. You're on our first list."

"I am honored to be first in the list, and I also like having friends to study with. So, tell me what the schedule is." With that, you wave your wand to bring you a piece of paper. "Accio schedule." The schedule paper lands on Renjun's slender fingers from your small pocket and the soft looking boy runs his eyes through the timetable. "Great, I can adjust my classes for this." You feel your heart can't take it anymore when he looks into your eyes deeply.

"So, see you tomorrow afternoon." You stand up trying to leave the ground, since the sleeping hours are coming, but his hand reaches for your wrist. "Sorry, do you want to go watch the quidditch practice between our team tomorrow? It's after lunch." Renjun scratches his neck. You nod "I will!" He smiles "Great, see you! Good night."

You raise your eyebrow "My hand" And he gasps as he lets go of your wrist. "Sorry" Both of you laugh and you finally go back to your room. Things were great, you and Renjun slowly became closer.

You hate the silly rules of staying over your own common room. Like dang you want to meet Renjun in his common room, but you know you’re not the smartest one to unlock their password. Not to mention you are not ready to have eyes pierced on you as you enter the room (if you ever succeed)

So, you end up only able to meet Renjun when he sees you on the hallway and with Jeno and Jaemin. He sometimes appears to you in the garden and you once found him chilling on the school’s astronomy tower in the middle of the night. He’s daring enough to leave his bed and you found him stargazing.

After your one encounter on the astronomy tower, that becomes your regular meeting place with Renjun.

Like tonight, both of you sneaked out of your beds, tiptoeing perfectly through the stairs. Somehow escaping the ears of Mr Filch and voila both of you are smiling ear to ear as the moonlight glows through your faces.

You sit on the porch, suddenly regretting your stupid head for forgetting the scarf. The wind is pretty harsh, and you try to hug your body. Renjun is busy watching the sky through his binoculars. You gave him your binoculars when you discovered he also loves space and the galaxy.

“Want to look at the stars?” Renjun looks at you and hands you the binocular. You nod your head while trying your best to not shake from the cold, but it is cold.

“Silly, forgot your scarf?” he unwinds his own blue silver knit scarf and steps closer to wrap it over you.

“What about you?” you feel worried about his condition. Renjun only shakes his head, “I wore warmer clothes. Also, you shouldn’t fall sick. You need to prepare for your O.W.L tomorrow. Just watch the sky.” He quickly changes the topic when he sees your annoyed face of bringing up O.W.L

You take his advice when he pushes your body to face the sky and you bring the object to your eyes. He was right, the night sky is always mysterious and calming, somewhere out there two of you believe another universe with aliens exists.

Renjun secretly watches you in admiration. He never expects to get this close with you, physically and mentally. By now, he knows your most embarrassing story, your favorite food, and your favorite star.

“Renjun! Quick make a wish!” you tug on his sweater and pull his hand when your eyes catch a shooting star.

Renjun is quick to realize your hand is still squeezing his arm, but he closes his own eyes and makes his own wish. You wish with all your might, things will be better for you and Renjun. You want him, you love him and basically, you’re so ready to risk everything just to get him. Creepy? No, that is love.

“So, what did you wish for?” he whispers near your ear, you see him shivering so you naturally take off the scarf and try your best to share it between both of you.

Renjun’s cheek blushed, “Didn’t think of that. You sure are smarter at things like that.”

You giggle “About your question, don’t you know a wish should remain secret or it won’t work.”

The young man scoffs, “You believe that?”

You nod “Well I thought you do too.”

Renjun smiles, “Fine. I will also keep mine.”

You can no longer hold back your yawn and you realize if both of you stay in this cold air, you’ll need to call in sick and that is not happening. Not when you need to catch up on all class materials.

“See you Injun-ah,” you wave as you drape the scarf back on him. He smells your sweet musk perfume and something tingles Renjun’s mind.

He remembers he had smelt that same hint of scent somewhere, but where. In confusion, the Ravenclaw walks back to his room. Only when his head hits his pillow does he finally remember where he encountered that smell. None other than that silly amortentia potion class. Take a whiff and you’ll know who that special person is.

“Tell me again how he always managed to find you?” Jaemin asks you about how Renjun always finds you. Both of you are sitting in the garden, taking a whiff of fresh air.

You sigh, you know you shouldn’t be telling him this, but you think Jaemin can keep secrets.

“He has a Marauder’s map.” You whisper under your breath.

Jaemin’s eyes lighten and his jaw drops. He really looks glowing with happiness like he won a lottery.

“(Y/n)~” his sing-song tone comes out and you mutter a curse under your breath. Oh no, he is going to ask you something. Which is true.

“Is it possible if you borrow the map from Renjun? Just for a second.” He pouts and draws random lines on your arm. You pull your hand away and slap his hand “What are you thinking? Go borrow by yourself.”

He drives his eyes to his feet, “I really need it, but I guess Renjun won’t let me borrow it.”

You scoff “You know it already. I never even touched it Jaem, it’s really precious after all.”

Jaemin, a total charmer, looks you in the eyes with his sickening puppy eyes “Please, I need it to meet Jeno secretly too! He seems tired but he is hiding it from us…”

“Your point?” you cut the crap out of him.

Jaemin smiles and you see his cunningness really popping up when he bribes you to help him “Point is, can you just take the map from him for a while and then I’ll use it to find Jeno, then you return it to him. Simple!”

You groan “How is that simple? That’s stealing!”

“Borrowing, just that he won’t realize it’s ever gone from his hand.” Jaemin shrugs his shoulder

“It’s not an honest game. You said ``borrow not steal and return.”

“Then try borrowing it from him, he doesn’t talk to me about the map so it’ll be weird if I ask him about that. He will be mad at you for spilling secrets and I know you love him so much.” He smirks, knowing that he won your internal battle.

You sigh, Jaemin really traps you in the mouse trap eh?

“Fine, let me try to borrow it from him. What will I get in return?”

“Woah you're so calculative! I thought we are friends and friends help each other?”

You really regret not joining Jeno to study with Renjun, this Slytherin man is really cunning… luring you to leave the library to “take in the fresh air” but ended up dealing with a dangerous project.

“Okay if you insist, I’ll say if the map worked, I’ll be able to accompany Jeno and he will be happier and you want to see Jeno happier right? Also you’re my best greatest courageous friend, isn’t this like a challenge?” he stares at you with great compassion plus hitting your chivalry ego and since no one is there to slap you, you nod your head.

“Okay Jaemin.” The Gryffindor spirit of not thinking about an action carefully is here.

Jaemin smirks and waves you goodbye after slipping a small tube of potion to your hand. He disappeared like that and you start to think of a way to talk with him about the map, while staring at disbelief for the Felix Felicis in your hand. Dang that Slytherin boy really is questionable.

You spend the afternoon thinking of a way to get Renjun’s map and you finally choose to ask him slowly.

“Renjun! What are the things you always keep in your bag?” you ask randomly but Renjun and you did this a lot of time, so he doesn’t smell your smoke.

He thinks for a while, “Nothing much, books and the map, some quills and chocolates? Why?”

You nod “It’s okay, just curious.”

He doesn’t pester you about it, only talking more about different things.

“Hey, tomorrow is Sunday. Mind to just sit and enjoy the day off? We sit in the fountain courtyard.”

Your brain finds a chance to take his map and so you nod your head.

--

You drop the Felix Felicis potion on your breakfast tea that Sunday morning and you meet Renjun who is looking so good in his casual outfit.

You’re nervous, though luck is favoring you, you are still battling yourself whether you should just snatch the map or ask him nicely.

After talking about different things and driving his attention to other things, you inch closer to Renjun and stare at his lips. Somehow your brain is focused on his lips and oh did you forget you took a potion this morning?? Because your silly head wants to kiss his lips so bad and luck is really on your side.

“Why are you staring at my lips? You really like them don’t you?” Renjun boldy asks, something so uncommon about him.

You gulp and blush, but your heart secretly wants to kiss him.

“Come here,” he pulls your hand closer and once your shoulder crashes with his, he kisses you right in the middle of the day when everyone can see you two sharing a slow kiss.

Your head almost stops working but suddenly Jaemin’s shadow appears in your mind and you quickly put your hand into Renjun’s bag. You didn’t know the lucky potion could be this wonderful because once your hand enters the bag you find the paper already.

Renjun was so focused on the kiss that he didn’t notice your hand slipping the map to your pocket. Only when you’re done did you finally break the kiss.

He blushes and you chuckle “That was intense.”

Yes the kiss was intense but the reason your heart beats super-fast is because of the action you just did. Stealing.

“I love you Renjun,” you whisper, feeling a bit sad for lying to him… but you don’t want to be embarrassed after what you did go well.

“I love you too, I didn’t know our feelings were mutual.” He innocently rubs his burning face and you want to die from lying with him.

“Renjun, sorry for suddenly leaving, but I have to go, I got something to do.” You stand up from the grounds.

“Huh? Oh okay I guess you look rushed.” He stands up too, “Where do you have to go? I can walk you there.”

You shake your head and reject his offer, “No, it’s personal. If you don’t mind, I’d rather go by myself. Bye Injun! See you!” you run away from him and disappear before he can even bid his farewell.

The ravenclaw just shrugs his shoulders and returns to his common room. When he kisses you earlier, he feels so fuzzy and fireworks are popping in his heart. As weird as it sounds, the kiss made him come up with a new imaginative creature.

Yes, Renjun is a ravenclaw who enjoys imaginative creatures. He is talented in drawing, so he spends his time sketching and naming creatures he has in his head. Though you may ask how a Ravenclaw believes in uncertain things with no concrete proof, Renjun has been hiding this guilty pleasure from anyone.

He hums as he sits on his chair and starts arranging his paints. The sun is angled perfectly at this time and he is more than excited to paint the new love creature he has in his mind.

On the other hand, you are running to meet Jaemin.

“I solemnly swear I am up to no goods.” You tap your wand and open the map to quickly find Jaemin.

There he is, somehow lurking in the dining hall. Weird.

You pocket the map and make your way to him.

“Use this quickly. I don’t know how long it takes for Renjun to notice.” You stuff the map into Jaemin’s pocket.

His eyes twinkle “Oh gosh you did it. You do this for me? Thank you!” he taps your shoulder and flies away “I’ll return it to you once I am done. Promise.”

You just wait for him with anxiety crawling in your heart. Something about stealing, lying, and using potion is just not settling well in your Gryffindor heart. You let out a deep breath, and relax a bit.

Only that it didn’t even last long and things are going downhill from here.

While you wait nervously in the dining room, you find yourself face to face with a fuming and disappointed Renjun. “You stole the map, didn’t you?!” he holds back all the anger inside to avoid reaching for your collar.

You gulp, of course he noticed. It’s been almost two hours. Couldn’t Jaemin find Jeno, bring Jeno to return the map to you then go disappear somewhere. Why should you wait for this long.

“I-“ you stutter “I’m sorry.” You apologize, your heart tells you lying more will just bring you to a deeper pit.

Renjun shakes his head, “You stole but I’m hurt you tricked me! Did you mean the kiss or not?”

Your eyes widened, he was just confused about the kiss? Oh how cute. You want to open your mouth, but it looks like the cat got your tongue again and Renjun was faster in assuming things when he is angry.

“You know what? I don’t care about your kiss, I don’t even care about your explanation. Give it back.” His palm opens up to you and you bite your lips “It’s not with me.”

His eyes would pop off from his head “You what? You lost it or gave it to someone?”

Damn Ravenclaws and their quick brains.

“I’ll give it back to you, I promise.” You reach out for his hand, but he snatches his hand away to his chest before you can appeal to him.

“You know what? I found it already.” He looks over your shoulder and sees Jaemin coming to you with a troubled face.

“And by the look of Jaemin’s face, I guess this is not my day.” Renjun sounds super sad and you hate yourself for actually starting all of this. He was in a super good mood earlier and you ruined everything. Now will you ruin your friendship too? and love interest.

You heard Jaemin apologizing (something so uncommon) about something and the next second, you don’t hear anything from Renjun’s lips, just an eerie silence between them and suddenly the man in blue sweater runs away from you and Jaemin.

“I may or may not have accidentally been caught by some other Slytherin, and they wanted to see the map. It ripped.” Jaemin mutters slowly and you feel your world has stopped turning and you should just leave Hogwarts before facing Renjun.

--

Renjun left both of you and there’s nothing you can do. There is, but your brain stops working and your Gryffindor heart cowers and runs away. You sit devastated on the ground and Jaemin copies you.

“We can try to fix this map,” Jaemin tries to cheer you up but you shake your head “We can’t. Even if we can, I don’t think the bond of our friendship can be fixed.” you pull your knees to your chest and put your chin on them

“I’ll find a way to fix this. I promise, I broke the map so let me take the blame for this.” Jaemin stands up with the ripped map and he casts the repair charm.

You just stare at it soullessly. Well the map did come back into one piece, but Renjun’s disappointment can’t leave your head.

“I am sorry (y/n).” Jaemin sincerely apologizes to you and you just hum a silent reply

“Look, I believe Renjun will forgive you. He might not forgive me, but I deserve this. This is not your fault. I made you trick him. I am the guilty one.” your best friend tries to cheer you up, but your mind keeps on thinking Renjun.

--

That young ravenclaw did come into dinner, well he has to as he’s the prefect. But when you leave your chair to tap his shoulder and talk with him, he already leaves with the big group and you find yourself alone, losing your chance.

You ask around where he is, and everyone says he’s in the prefect bathroom enjoying a long bath. You hate how he has a hideout you can’t come to. So, the only thing you can do is wait.

You think of ways to apologize and how he can forgive you. Should you do his chores? Should you do his essays? gosh no he’s smarter than you. Should you buy him some new paint and drawing books? He likes to draw right, but you bite your lips when you remember your allowance this month was finished for good when you bought that new broom.

You go to the toilet, and come back to ask where he is on a passing Ravenclaw, only to curse when they said he is already in the common room.

Great, now you really won’t be sleeping tonight.

“Hey (y/n), I handed him the map already and asked sorry.” Jaemin suddenly taps your shoulder when you are walking to your room.

You just nod “Lucky you, looks like he is not that disappointed at you. Must be because he is afraid you’d turn him into a frog.” you try to tease Jaemin but even your own joke doesn't taste good in your tongue.

Renjun tries his best to avoid you, or more likely avoid hearing your apology or explanation about what happened that day. It’s as if you’re a deadly plague! He did show up a couple of times to the group study meetups, but he never talks to you about anything other than asking your question about the lesson or when the boys ask him about his nerves about the test.

You feel sick from all of the studying, but most of your stress comes from Renjun’s constant ignorance towards you. He did talk to you about other things, he explained to you the lessons you’re still struggling with but he never speaks of that day as if it never happens. Though some people like that better and just brush it off, like Jaemin for example. You’re not satisfied with this. You need his real acceptance of apology or you can’t feel ease in your heart.

You tried all you can, sending him a message filled with handwritten apology, a chocolate of his favorite brand, a chocolate frog, some badly drawn apology painting, a poem, and even try to bring up the conversation whenever you meet but he always finds a way to smile and drive the topic to another thing.

His playful gaze can still be felt by you and he still helps you occasionally in classes you struggle in. He even helps until the last days of the O.W.L test and the guilt in your heart is just piling up.

--

“Good luck on your O.W.L '' Renjun one night smiles at you after cleaning up the books and quills. You gasp “Thank you, you too and Renjun I am sorry.” you finally get the chance to utter your apology intimately without anyone else near you.

Renjun sighs “You’re still sad about that?” you bite your lips and nod “I can’t take it off my head.” The man in blue robes chuckles and messes your hair “Silly. Stop worrying about that. Just focus on your studies okay so that you can pass this O.W.L” you turn red from his action, heart beating super fast upon seeing his cute smile and hand touching your head.

“Alright, I need my sleep. You go to bed too okay, see you for breakfast tomorrow.” he tucks a hair away from your face and bops your nose. You see him walk away after saying good night and when you want to go to your room, you notice a blue scarf he left on the chair.

“Renjun forgot this.” you wrap it around your neck because you have lots of stuff to bring back and slowly you walk to your room, enjoying how his scent softly brushes your nose when the wind is blowing in your direction. You feel calm now that Renjun told you not to worry about it and seeing how he’s back to playing with your hair makes you feel less guilty.

“I’ll return this tomorrow,” you mumble to yourself only to wrap it tighter to your neck when you sleep.

--

The O.W.L this year is nerve consuming and stressful. You and the other students are all squeezed and no one is having their energy other than studying, eating and sleeping. You’ve talked less with the boys, you’re busy isolating yourself in the study room or just in the garden to study and focus on yourself. You also forget about Renjun’s scarf and he seems to forget it too, judging by how he is using another scarf.

All of you made it through the excruciating exam and finally you’re packing your suitcase.

“Are you ready to go home?” Jeno puts his face into your face on the morning of the beginning of the holiday. You have a beaming smile on your face and you happily hug him “Thank you for your help! I did my O.W.L nicely because of your help!” Jeno only chuckles and laughs at your remarks. He only plays with your hair and pushes you away only for you to hit Jaemin’s chest and the cheeky guy is not ready to catch you. You close your eyes, preparing yourself to hit the hard ground and be embarrassed for the rest of the year in Hogwarts, but you didn’t hit the ground. You open your eyes and see Jaemin already standing next to Jeno, eyes running through the hall as he winks and waves his hand to the passing students. So, who is holding you?

“Hoah easy Jeno, you pushed her too hard!” A soft voice you missed. A voice that sounds so cute when he whines or complains. A voice that has been whispering all day all night in your head. Renjun.

“Renjun! Sorry.” you brush yourself as you stand up and tidy your looks. Suddenly feeling conscious if you’ll look good. Renjun smiles, he has his trunk by his hand too, looks like every one of us is going home this Christmas.

“It’s great to see you before the long holiday, (y/n)!” Renjun pushes a small smile and you are busy reaching into your backpack for something. “I need to return this! You left it in the library last time.” you hand Renjun the neatly folded blue scarf which surprises him. “Oh it’s with you! I thought I lost it.”

You laugh “Sorry, I forgot to return it to you.” you extend your arm to him. Renjun quickly takes the scarf and opens it, the next thing you know is that he inches closer to you, wraps the scarf softly on your neck and his lips hover above your own lips. When you look into his orbs, you see how he’s waiting for your permission and while Renjun still has his hand holding on to the scarf on your neck, you close your eyes and feel him pull you by the scarf and seal your lips with a long quiet kiss.

You feel butterflies in your stomach as he gently keeps his hands moving to secure your neck and your heart is thumping so hard.

“I forgive you, go enjoy your Christmas.” Renjun sincerely laughs and kisses your cheek “So, from today is it day one?”

You nod “Day one!” Your heart feels light, the heavy guilty feeling in your heart is gone, his kiss shows how he is not angry at you and you feel his passionate and sincere desire to have you as his significant other.

Jeno and Jaemin pretend they don’t see both of you, just waving their hands to any passing students, telling them to send owls, saying they’ll see them next year and all the season greetings.

“Alright, my train is leaving love. I’ll see you next year. Send me an owl , okay!” Renjun pinches your cheek that’s super red from his sudden actions. You just have a big smile on your face as you nod and wave “See you soon!”

Jeno and Jaemin help you put your stuff into the car your brother has sent to pick you up. You thank the boys, hugging them for being here with you through ups and downs and you’ve made peace with Jaemin. That guy promised you he’ll bring you back your favorite candy from his hometown.

As you sit down in your car, head looking back to the majestic and mystical castle, you smile when you remember how Renjun pulls you into a very sweet kiss and that’s enough to show you how he’s not mad or disappointed at you. You were overthinking, but that’s you. That’s something about your gryffindor heart, always wanting to be responsible for your faults and it feels good to finally see Renjun saying he forgave you already.

Magic and love. Might work side to side, might not. Whichever that is the potion or your attitude, Renjun loves you the way you love him too and that’s what matters.

end

[junova]

.˚✦ ๋࣭ˑ ִֶָ 𓂃 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

my universe

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

notes: this one has been in my drafts....forever. never really liked it too much but fuck it. maybe i can redeem it in a part 2??? this is more of a prologue if anything. idk we'll see. happy reading!

pairing: modern!steve rogers x reader, former!bucky barnes x reader, bucky barnes x natasha romanoff

concept: bucky was all you'd ever cared about, wanting him more than anyone. until he comes along, showing what it actually means to love someone. welcome to heaven in hiding.

warnings: 18+, sexual content, jealous!reader, bucky being a dick, soft!steve, heavy angst, steve is a funny lil shit at the end

wc: 3.9k

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It felt unbearable to be here. Watching how fondly she still looked at him, after all this time, not missing a beat. It was suffocating, surrounding you by a sea of water and having no other option than to drown. Greedily, his love swallowing you up in your entirety.

He did really try to dodge her looks of longing but still, even now he felt the pull to her. It didn’t really matter how long they were absent from each others’ lives.

As you sat next to him, you could feel him slipping from your grasp. Far beyond your control, way out of your depth, he was falling. Deep down, you couldn’t really blame him. The pictures you’d seen of her did no justice, she was truly a vision. Much brighter than you would ever glow and it made you wonder if what he spoke just a few hours ago still held meaning.

Not to mention, she seemed to be as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. Making you grow even more envious of her.

Sure, she had broken his heart but it wasn’t beyond forgiveness. She had simply put herself before the relationship and if you had been in her shoes you could imagine yourself doing the same. All she wanted was a better future for herself, at least it’s what he had told you.

Now sitting here you couldn’t stop thinking about how she looked at him with admiration and love laced in her eyes. Truly, if she still wanted him in her arms there was nothing stopping her.

Surely, not you. You two seemed to live on two different planes of beauty and hers was the kind you dream of having but only have a very little probability of obtaining. With her ruby hair and glossy lips, tempting nearly everyone around her to the way she carried herself and spoke to you like you were the only person she was invested in.

It wasn’t difficult to see why he spoke of her so much. You would, too.

You tried to enjoy the wonderfully prepared meal Pepper and Tony had made, well mainly Pepper. It was delicious, but your senses had gone bitter and it had nothing to do with the food.

You weren’t sure when you started to drift off, maybe it was when Bucky began looking at Natasha like she hung each and every constellation in the sky. Or maybe it’s when you heard her melodic laugh when Bucky delivered the punchline.

It was like Steve, Wanda, and Thor didn’t exist. The lovely couple in their own little bubble, speaking in a language only the two of them understood. Utterly and completely unaware of any and all of their surroundings.

“You okay?” Steve questioned, placing his hand on top of your hand, giving it a small squeeze. Discreetly and under the table away from prying eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I just need some air.” You weren’t sure what could remove the nothingness inside of you, but maybe some space would provide some comfort.

You felt like your heart had been ripped out right in front of you, again. He said he wouldn’t do it again, that he wanted to be with you, but all she had to do was come to town and he’d been chasing her just like he always did.

Excusing yourself you dipped out until you were out on the back patio. Alone to just think and mull over any little thing that should have tipped you off, but didn’t. You let it slide on, blinded by how much you thought you loved him.

You weren’t left in the peaceful night long, until Steve was joining you with two wine glasses in one hand and a bottle of red in the other.

“You looked like you could use a glass or two.” Steve gibed carefully. “I’m just using your sour mood as an excuse to escape from the party.” You were about to object when a full glass of wine was shoved into your grasp.

“I’m not in a sour mood. I’m just swell.” You spoke before taking a big swing of the drink, nearly emptying it’s contents, sending it barreling down your throat.

“Sure, honey. Just like the green monster isn’t oozing out of you.” You found yourself intentionally growling at him, just a little agitated of the truth he spoke.

The absolute audacity on this man seemed to never end. Whether it helped you or caused more misery than he intended.

“It certainly doesn’t help that she's so goddamn perfect. Was she fucking made in a lab? Jesus Christ.” You were jealous and if Steve already knew there was really no point in hiding it. It was written all over you, the longing look you were giving Bucky all night, desperately wanting to be the one he wanted.

“She’s not perfect, nobody is. Just better at hiding her faults than everybody else.” He said it like it was some known fact. Something you should’ve already known, but insecurities tended to eat you alive. Truthfully, it didn’t help that Bucky acted like Natasha walked on water in his hopeful, gleaming eyes. Stinging you like a bee piercing your soft, plush skin for the first time.

He really loved her. It didn’t matter how many times she messed up, what he felt was all the same — she was the one.

“Really? I don’t buy it. Name one.” Steve perched himself on his knees in front of you, his hands on the armrest of the chair you made yourself comfortable in. “Okay.”

“How about the fact that she loves Bucky just about more than anyone else but she’s too selfish to let him go? Then, for months she leads him on and promises she’ll come home but always leaves him heartbroken.” Steve let it flow all in one breath, as his body rested between your legs.

“Sounds gruesome.” You confessed because it hit a little close to home. “Yeah, it is and he has no right to do the same thing to an angel like you.”

You hated how he was right, truly hated it, but anyone with eyes could see how much Bucky dragged you through the mud. He had a good heart, but it just hadn’t been good to you.

Bucky’s intentions weren’t malicious and it didn’t seem like he was either but it didn’t take away from how much he continued to hurt you. All of the unintended consequences only affected you as he went on with his day.

Over and over, he continued to cause you pain and he didn’t even know it. Or he did and just neglected to acknowledge it. If he did, he’d actually have to deal with just how much he was actually hurting you.

It wasn’t like either one was particularly gunning for the latter, but Steve was. It wasn’t the first time Bucky had left you high and dry whenever the red head, beauty stepped foot into town. Although it was the first time you had a front row seat to the attention she commanded from him.

You both sat there in silence for the moment, taking in the starry night as he rested his cheek against your leg. He began running fingertips up and down your exposed calf, letting him soothe you.

“I’ll keep thinking I’ll be alright. That’ll get over him, but he just keeps pulling me back and jerking me around for his ride and I let him.” If anyone saw you besides Steve, you didn’t think you could handle it but you’re comfortable around him.

He’s continuously been there for you everytime Bucky pushed to the side for her. Always so sweet, so tender, comforting you in his warmth. Never once judging you, always taking the time time to just sit and listen to you.

“I don’t think it’s even about him anymore. I’m just chasing this unattainable moment, just so I fill this void in me. Maybe if he loves me I can love me, too.” Mumbling under your breath, hoping he didn’t hear you.

“Bubba.” You smiled for a second, as his voice dripped in concern. “You don’t need him or what little he can offer. Not when you can love yourself better than anyone else can.” He pulled himself up to his feet, picking you up from the chair until you were surrounded by just him.

“We love you. I love you, so stop listening to those nasty little thoughts, bubs. They’re far from the truth. You are truly amazing, incredibly beautiful, and deserve the absolute world.” With slight pressure from his index, he tilted your chin up, letting your eyes drown in his.

“Don’t expect anything less.” Steve breathed out, before testing the waters. He just held you there, caressing your back as you just sunk in his arms, allowing his warmth to ease your hurt. Just like he’d done so many times before.

Somehow, Steve seemed to know exactly what you need to hear. You didn’t know how he managed to be so wonderful all the time. Maybe you could just stay there forever with him shielding you from every single evil in the world out to get you.

“Can you take me somewhere? This is the last place I want to be.” Steve simply nodded before lacing your hand in his, before making your way back inside.

The moment the two of you stepped foot into the house, it was silent. Everyone looked at the two of you. Steve took notice of the Bucky’s bugged eyes at the joined hands of his two best friends, but knew better than to verbally acknowledge it.

It wasn’t something Steve and you hadn’t done, but never in the prying eyes of Bucky. Thor and Wanda had taken note of it a few times, but never spoke a word about it. Secretly, Wanda hoped it meant something for you, because she could see just how much Steve adored you.

He never spoke a word, so you remained clueless to a feeling he never felt like he had a right to speak on. No matter how strongly he felt, he knew if he confessed, it would do more damage than good.

You had become one of his closest friends in the past few years he’d known you and he wouldn’t jeopardize it for anything. Selfishly, he left you under Bucky’s radar because being your friend was far safer than risking the rejection he was sure would be sent his way.

He knew you were close to cutting Bucky off from your life completely, he just had to wait it out. Natasha being here tonight was the icing on the cake for Steve, because all he had to do was be here for in a way Bucky never could. Not when he was slicing through your heart every time his attention diverted from you to her.

Just because he was stuck in a past love instead of the future and Steve would fully take advantage of it — being there for you in any way you needed.

Regardless of everything, he wanted to — needed to. He couldn’t live with himself if he let you go through the hurt and heartache alone. Not when so many times you had seeked the comfort of him to lean on. Steve would never be one to say no to you.

“Are you leaving, doll?” The endearment Bucky intended to be sweet but left a sour taste in your mouth. More than that, you didn’t miss the way Natasha’s eyes widened slightly at the use of his pet name for you. The one she thought was only reserved for her.

Maybe if he held affection for you like he did earlier today, your heart would be filled to the brim, but he didn't. So, you weren’t. “Yeah, Steve’s going to take me home. I have an early morning tomorrow and I’ve already had a bit too much wine.” Bucky didn’t argue, nodding with a tight lipped smile.

Perhaps his indifference is what made you hurt even more. He didn’t care about anything, not even you with you so closely tangled with Steve. It didn’t have an effect on him because the woman sitting by his side, draped over him held more value than you ever could.

“You sure? I can make sure you get home safely.” Bucky pleaded, but before you could respond Steve did.

“I got it, Buck. I’ll make sure she gets home.” He looked like he wanted to say more but he decided to stay silent as he watched you walk out the door with Steve, hand and hand.

The drive home in the Uber was silent, Steve didn’t say a word, just the weight of his arm holding you close. He took note of how you refused to look at anything but the luminescence of the New York’s city lights captivating your vision.

Even if it hurt Bucky only chose you whenever Natasha wasn’t around you couldn’t help but focus on how hot and heated your body felt with Steve so close to you. Holding you so tightly like he was afraid you would let go.

Perhaps it was a bit shady of you to drape yourself over his childhood best friend whenever he rejected you, but now you were finding yourself finding solace in Steve in everything, like you used to with Bucky. He had become this safe place for you, where you wouldn’t be shamed for how you felt or what you were going through.

Even if he knew how much you were hurting from your own obliviousness to Bucky’s behavior, he always let you find solace in his strong, comforting arms. Always sturdy enough to hold the weight of your hurt and what he was carrying too. Just like tonight.

“He’s never going to love me the way I want him to — like the way he loves her.” It wasn’t a question any longer, it was a stone cold fact. Something you’d tried to ignore over the past year, especially.

Not wanting anything in this moment but him, you laid your head on his chest, his steady heartbeat giving you a sense of peace in the aftermath of your heartbreak. The crisp material of the white button up he was wearing shifted from the weight of you, he didn’t really mind.

“I think it’s time for me to let go of this image I have of him, one he can never live up to and accept him for who he is and where he’s at right now.” Steve nodded, still not saying a word, slipping farther and farther away from you as he let his thoughts consume him entirely.

It’d been happening a lot more lately. This. The close, excruciating intimacy between Steve and the woman he was in love with.

Over the past few months, anytime you were upset about something, you would show up at his doorsteps crashing into him as you wept. Always wanting to be close to him, snuggled up to his side, bleeding your heart out to him, something you hadn’t done with anyone.

Not even Bucky.

Then there was the one kiss on New Years’ Eve a few weeks ago which stayed imprinted on the forefront of his mind. He remembered when he woke up the following morning, he was holding you to his chest, the both of you bodies laced with one another.

He got up before you were there to consciously witness it, but it was all he thought about weeks after. Being that close awoke the need to be near you. It was already there, but now he knew how it felt to hold you in the comfort of his own bed.

It nearly killed him when you woke up, making your way down the stairs from his bedroom, wearing nothing but his boxers and the shirt he wore last night. Steve wasn’t drunk enough to completely forget the whole night, nothing had happened in his room last night. Seeing you, in here, in his apartment, made him think what his life could possibly be like with you here.

If he was ever to be so lucky.

As of yesterday, when you told him Bucky finally wanted to move forward with you, it broke him. Even if he kept his true feelings hidden, he felt you crush his heart with one fatale squeeze. Any particular hope he once had, was diminished into a fantasy far from reality.

The both of you were Steve’s best friends — he had to be happy for you.

Then, Natasha came to town. Storming through Bucky’s heart just like she’s always done. When Steve invited you to the dinner his best friend was trying to keep you from, he knew it could possibly be the last fatale blow to whatever string your relationship with Buck was. Maybe his, too.

Steve knew going after you could mean losing his really good friend, but he simply couldn’t stop himself. Not when you were a pure goddess ascending from above in all of your glory, capturing his heart in every single glance you threw his way. At this point, he didn’t care what it’d cost him.

As long as he had you, it would be worth it.

When the car pulled up to your street, you let your hand glide down his chest, resting on his lower abdomen. Not missing the way his body trembled under your touch, the thin material of his shirt doing nothing to protect him from you — not that he wanted to be anywhere but here.

As soon as those sinful words left your mouth, he knew he was done for.

Perhaps, if the both of you hadn’t been tipsy of the bottle of wine you shared, you wouldn’t feel the urge to invite him up, but he smelled too good and acted too perfect for any other consideration.

“Do you want to come inside, Stevie?” You purred watching the gears switch in his mind. Contemplating if he really should go through with it. Now that it was within his reach, he was becoming hesitant to grab it. You were drunk, he was drunk. Hence the uber and the both of your cars left behind in Tony and Pepper’s driveway.

“I don’t think it’s the best idea for me to go up there, bubs.” Instantly, you pouted. A deep frown etched on your beautiful face. “Why not? I think it would be a wonderful thing. Don’t you?” With one swift movement, you were cupping his crotch, making your intentions more than clear.

The grunt leaving Steve’s mouth was animalistic as he tried to exercise the very little restraint he was holding onto. It seemed to become increasingly difficult as you refused to move your hand away.

“I need you to take care of me and I’ll take care of you.” Finally releasing your grip on him, you exited out of the car and you didn’t have to look back to know he was falling you into the lobby of your apartment building.

After a silent elevator ride, with you tucked into his side you made the walk down the narrow hallway into your home, fidgeting to open the door with Steve’s hands caressing your sides. Carefully watching as you kicked off the painful heels, the bottom of your feet thankful, pulling you deeper into the apartment.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” You retreated, afraid someone else might turn you down, too. If Steve did, you wouldn’t be able to handle it. He’s been your person you can count on and now you couldn’t imagine your life without him.

Stopping your movement once you reached your bedroom, you were still waiting for his response. Meticulously, he reached for hand before twirling you around your back pressed against his front. Sighing, when his hand dragged up your spine, while the other hung on your waist with his hand pressed against your stomach.

Pushing the thin strap of your velvet dress, letting it fall off your shoulder. Soft, firm lips touching your soft skin, you couldn’t help but lean back into him. Tilting your head back, offering yourself up to him on a silver platter.

His touch felt like heaven and you didn’t think you’d ever want him to leave. Not when you always felt safe wrapped up in his large muscular arms. Never making you question if you felt wanted.

“Right now, my body wants you as badly as it ever has.” Steve confessed while his lips migrated towards your neck, giving you some much needed attention.

“Does it?” You questioned him, losing any other train of thought as let his other hand push the other strap off your shoulder, the slinky dress falling to floor pooling at your feet.

“It does, sweetheart, but it’ll have to wait.” Already pouting like the brat you were, ready to seduce him right into filling you up, just like you brought him here tonight for.

Dropping down to your level, Steve whispers in your ear, “Because when I fuck you just the way your pussy is aching for it won’t be when you’re drunk, princess.” Throwing gasoline on the fire he created, sharply he bit your earlobe, making you moan.

“I’ve thought about this so much, princess. At first, I thought I would take you from behind, but then I wouldn’t see those begging, doe-eyes itching for a release.” You were trembling for him. His filthy words flooding straight to your slick, crying for him already.

“Maybe you’d want to ride me, huh? Do you want to fuck yourself on my fat cock?” At this point, if it was anyone else, you’d be embarrassed if he found out just how wet you were. Your panties are completely ruined because of him.

“I want to ride you so bad, Stevie.” Maliciously, he laughed before giving your clothed pussy a rough slap, causing you to gasp out. Your nails digging themselves into his bicep as you reached for it.

“Well, if you had been a good girl, maybe I’d let you cum on my cock.” You turned around face to face, ready to bruise your knees for him in a heartbeat. In this space and time, you’ve never wanted anyone more.

Harshly, he gripped your chin as his thumb smoothed over your bottom lip, dragging it down so it plumped right back up. “Bucky will be here tomorrow morning, if not tonight. I took his precious little play thing home and he’s not gonna like that one bit.”

“He wants to have his cake and eat it, too. If you want to let him, by all means go right ahead. And if you don’t? You know where I live, princess.” Very much in contrast to the last few minutes, he sweetly kissed your cheek and headed out right back the door without so much as a second glance.

Leaving you with a hell of a lot to process.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

tagging: @tonystankschild | @andromedasstarship | @tinylumpiaa | @brattycherubwrites | @bval-1 | @kayteewritessteve |

[growling]

ep 3

for a moment I thought Kunikida was performing some really sus stuff on (TW: D*zai mention) Dazai but ah that's just his side. They should put me down

Atsushi changes lives. Every time I see him the world is bright and beatiful and I feel sane

"he's reallu not a bad person" pan to his little sister whom he fucks. it's VERY strongly implied. I can tell I have eyes and ears. Surprisingly I'm fine with this. It's just..... my bullshit tolerance is so high it just simply doesn't have an effect on me. I just accepted it tbh. I mean what's new.......

That being said! I do NOT want to be here currently. take it elsewhere. please. I'm not asking I'm begging and dreading unpausing

STOPPPPPPPPPPPPP FOR FOCKSSAKEEEEE

Hi Kunikida. Anyway, can't wait for the future episode in which Atsushi kills everybody in the agency and runs away with all their money I find it very hard to sympathize with any of them rn . i will wait chin on hands kicking my feet

d-word devil already harassing some poor retail worker woman mr electric disembovel this man

"dont bother asking for her help all the time"........ so it wasn't even the only time he did it????? ok mr electric have his organs torn out of his body

love how Atsushi IMMEDIATELY drops everything and bolts right up like a good little goon as soon as he hears of a "reward". the hustle is eternal

You could make him do anything as long as you promise any kind of monetary reward. look at him he's fucking hyperventilating

intro is back!!!!!! once again i feel like i need to say that again but I am DROOLING over that cunty looking ginger hair guy with the hat and gloves. Give him to me I will take good care of him and his arm skin flaps. Oh god. I think I hauve scurvy.

is Dazai just gonna be refusing to leave any woman alone for the remainder of the show or is it just this episode. Because right now I need to hurt him in some way. "would you be willing to join me in a double suicide" now that's just even more gross teruteru wannabe point and laugh and shoot and stab and punch and

Kunikida earning a lot in my eyes lately. you have still committed a slight against my guy Atsushi (which is unforgivable) but maybe you can even it out with even more slights against Dazai- HE'S ACTUALLY BEATING HIS ASS LMAO???????? +5 points to Kunikida aksdjfhghfuddfcndseyrh justice served balance restored

I love how my previously irrational hatred of Dazai just got actually severly validated this episode. I feel so correct for doing it before it got cool

"waaaaaahhh there's scary foreign poor people loitering around my company bplease I need evidence they're committing crimes to put them in jailllll" nvm fuck her too actually

ok ummmmmm one guess for Dazai's former job...... he got affiliated with the port mafia somehow?? Maybe killed people. Since he's looking like he doesn't wanna be here during this conversation. Hunch

I like the. scary murderbender vampire looking mafia boss guy. he's kinda cute like this .

also, the name Akutagawa sounded kinda familiar but idk if it's been said already in the former episodes or if I caught a whiff of him from some posts. Either way that's literally everything I know I am going into this anime literally like 99% blind except for some of the character's looks (theres this.... white-purple hair guy, dazai, an thats it) and Dazai Osamu's name

EVIL WOMAN MOMENT????? :333333

Banger theme

She's so cool I need her. not necessarily sexually I mean I could use a bodyguard or something to pull me out of oncoming traffic my cognitively impaired ass occassionally wanders onto blissfully unaware of anything that's happening around me. And then shoot people.

I FEEL BAD FOR LAUGHING BUT. SHE GOT HER!!!!!!!!! ONE DOWN WE DID IT BLONDE WOMAN WHOSE NAME I FORGOT INCEST IS NO MORE IT ENDED

*shrek 4 kid voice* do the tiger .

ginger hair guy's whose name i forgot's ability is fine too I guess. Love how many bullets the blonde woman just has loaded she looks so goofy spinning around like that .......

TWO DOWN!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE

Sorry I know this is serious but Atsushi's fucking face angle I'm sorry I can't

*shrek 4 kid voice* do the tiger .

banger theme back!!!!! or it was there the whole time?? can't remember that was whole minutes ago i can't reach that far

Akutagawa noooo please respect women do this for me :(((((((( you can hit me instead if you want please please PLEASE PLEAS

he looks like a vampire, and calls Atsushi a weretiger. match made in hell. I need to imagine them fucking unsafe insane nonconsensual style for a moment this won't take long we'll get back to it eventually let me just.......

THE HEAD ANGLE AGAIN

ok so he's a stand user. got it <- has not watched a single episode of jojo either

*shrek 4 kid voice* do the tiger .

ok Akutagawa. so your creature devours anything and everything. ok. one question. can you even control it or do you just pretend to?

YESSS LEG REMOVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Should .... Should I be that happy about this??

womp womp

HE DID THE TIGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

aw goddamn it he gets to keep the leg ://///

The Tiger is stronger or at least equal in power as Akutagawa's creature???? inch resting

Stating this again, or for the first time, since I don't remember and don't wanna scroll up: I am sexually attracted to Akutagawa and want him to perform a live vivisection on me with zero anaesthetic.

rip Atsushi I guess . roll credits anime's over go home

(Akutagawa really coughs a lot hmmmmmm)

oh that wasn't Atsushi huh. ok. yay <3 thank you ginger hair guy whose name i forgot for managing to do something beneficial to society

thanks for helping Dazai I gue- OH MY FUCKING GOD STOPPPPPPPPPPPPP I'M GONNA KILL YOURSELF

Oh so it's for me money. they want the weretiger for a bounty. lol. lmao. go get that bag Akutagawa go get it!!!

I GUESSED IT HAHA!!!!!!!!! I'M SO INCREDIBLY SMART!!!!!!!!! DAZAI WAS IN THE PORT MAFIA >:))))))))

i'm not watching the outro again. the intro....... we'll see. maybe. and so that's it :33333 woohoo

you know what. you know what. watching bsd since I heard so much about it (mutual osmosis (hi)) yet absolutely nothing at the same time. like who the hells this dazai guy and whys he kinda..... anyway episode 1

so sad how atsushi died of starvation in the first 5 minutes. guess show's over....exit theatre.

"you should kill yourself NOW" the hell did this guy do be declared public enemy number one of all orphanages. how many did he burn

atsushi's out for fucking BLOOD i wanna see him fail cringely and die of an infection curled up under a juniper bush. why does he run like that

is that the. dazai jumpscare

i knew this man for like 2 minutes and i desire him carnally

jesus fucking christ i need his pussy so bad. i am going to fuck the screen. i need to do unspeakable things to/for this dazai guy

not even listening to whatever they're saying im just hyperventilating over the prettyboy before me i could treat you so good dazai. i don't care about your morals or potential atrocities dazai pPLEASE just let me fucking hit. pick me. pick me. PICK ME

supernatural detectives AGAIN?

he did the =D !!!!!!!!

i don't think im in the right headspace to watch this scene while dazai backshots on my mind rotting my brain preventing me from forming critical thoughts or acknowledging reality. good lord this scene that should have been m

i too love bullying children for their subpar grind and googoogaga mentality

he did the

..........ooo is he the tiger. I also believed his story was questionable never trust an orphan

furry

although on further inspection..... oh no im sensing some vivia similiarities in dazai which might DRASTICALLY decrease his attractiveness to me if it keeps up..............

"im not into hugging men" oh fuck off ill fucking make you im going to make you die a crack addict and drop your corpse in a pigpen go fuck yourself guess im not allowed to have anything huh. my way or the highway boy pick one. this show fucking sucks i hate you

nevertheless. i will carry on as usual

dazai kill yourself

i will fucking stab you beat you or hurt you in some way. i will destroy your life i will render you unable to look another man in the eye ever again

go fuck yourself. not like i care. i don't care stop i don't know what you're talking about i DO NOT care im not. im not. im gonna break that dazai fucknut's femurs in a cold cruel non-erotic way he's not even that pretty im over it. im over us.

im gonna fucking shred him

[makeste]

Don’t you think that Horikoshi backing up Katsuki with 1A is proof Deku’s stronger than him? Like, I really don’t think it would end in a draw if they fought it out 1v1, it would just be unrealistic at this point, (and would undermine Endeavour’s storyline, Nagant’s character and the overall power scaling of the manga). However, Katsuki winning alone against Deku or winning as a team against Deku is the same end result for him, so it’s way more realistic, and follows what MHA’s always telling us about teamwork. Maybe in the end there’ll be a Deku v Kacchan (and I hope so! And likely, considering Katsuki’s definitely the strongest in the class and the only one who can at least hope to compare) but I think Horikoshi realized Katsuki can’t win alone (and I think even Katsuki knows that rn), but that doesn’t mean he can’t win at all.

I very much do not think this is proof of that, but I am also very biased and stubborn about this, and have a lot of strong feelings about it as you probably know lol. so keep that in mind.

there are a few reasons why I think the entire class is there. firstly, to show how much they all care about Deku and how important Deku is to all of them. I said in my prediction post last week that I thought the Deku Rescue Squad would consist of people whom Deku had inspired in some way. and that did turn out to be the case -- it's just that I underestimated just how much Deku has inspired all of them, not just a select few. he means enough to each and every one of his classmates that they all came together and agreed that they were going to go out and find him and show him that he wasn't alone. and that was actually very moving to realize (no wonder Deku scrambled to hide back under his mask so quickly lol).

the second reason why I think they are all there is because, this being endgame times, I think Horikoshi wants to show how much all of them have powered up, not just the main cast. with the final battle approaching, he needs to show us that these kids are ready, or else he risks us not being able to suspend our belief when they wind up defeating AFO and the League at the end of the series. we need to see how far they've come, and he needs to show us what they're made of.

and the third and final reason is because in order to ease the fear in Deku's heart right now, his friends need to reassure him that what happened at Gunga and Jakku is not going to happen again. they need to show him that they're strong, so that he can trust in their strength. and they also need to show both him and the Vestiges that the most surefire way of defeating AFO isn't through OFA's power alone, but through the power of all of their quirks. all of their strength, combined. they need to demonstrate to him that the 19 of them acting together are easily a match for him even if he does have six quirks. and so if all of them work together, they can even be a match for TomurAFO as well.

so yeah, all of these things are very important and need to happen. but none of them precludes DvK3 from also happening as well. what I'm currently envisioning is a two-phase battle.

in the first phase, all of them team up against Deku while he tries to use SIXQUIRKS to take them down, using the same strategies that worked against Muscular and Nagant and the others. except that it doesn't work against 1-A because they're prepared for it, and they show him how their own strength and ingenuity can match and exceed his own when they all work together.

during this phase we'll get to see the kids show off, and we'll get to see what kind of combos Horikoshi can pull off with all of them acting together as a unit. so for instance, maybe Deku tries to use Smokescreen to escape, and Momo makes a bunch of giant fans to blow the smoke away, and Dark Shadow carries one of the fans up into the air, and Ochako makes the others weightless, and Kouda summons a bunch of birds to carry them, and Iida turns on Recipro and runs a bunch of high speed circles around the area to clear out the rest of the smoke.

or Deku uses Float, and Mineta and Sero and Shouto use their quirks to catch him while Kacchan and Shouto and Ochako and Tokoyami and all the other kids with flying quirks loop around to cut him off.

or Deku uses Danger Sense to try and dodge their attacks, but the same group from the previous paragraph uses the same tactics to hold him in place. or Jirou and Kami and Tsuyu use their quirks to paralyze him temporarily. or Hagakure and Kacchan use their quirks to momentarily blind him.

or Deku tries to use Blackwhip to grab them and hold them all in place, but Kacchan and Iida use their speed to evade (evading Blackwhip is a specialty of Kacchan's after all), and Shouji uses his quirk to sprout arms on all of the other kids to help pry them free, and Aoyama and Mina use their quirks to dissolve some of the Blackwhip tendrils because idk but there has to be something that's able to actually counter them (just like Dark Shadow is similarly made of "dark energy" but isn't invulnerable either), and Ojiro runs around being a diversion or something because I had to include him in these hypotheticals somewhere, and Sero and Shouto use their quirks to bind and freeze Deku's hands so he can't aim properly, and Kiri and Satou use their strength to turn the tables on Deku and yank him off balance instead using his own quirk.

anyway but the point is, they have an effective counter for each and every one of Deku's quirks and strategies, because they are taking advantage of the fact that 19 > 6. and so that's what the first part of the battle will be like. but then the second phase, I envision happening once Deku finally whips out the one quirk they haven't been able to prepare for, because they didn't know about it -- Fa Jin. I don't think Deku will use it to attack any of them directly; rather, he'll try to use it as a trump card to try and make his escape. in which case the most likely scenario is that Kacchan -- whose own speed upgrade Deku is similarly unaware of -- will take off after him, with the others following behind at a slower pace (assuming they can still track him using the GPS). which in turn leads to the second phase of the battle -- our much-anticipated DvK3 proper.

which is still going to happen for my money, and is still vitally important. because the two of them have a lot of things that they need to say to each other. and because Kacchan is still Deku's equal, and I will die on that fucking hill if I have to lol. and with respect, I can't really bring myself to worry about it potentially undermining Endeavor's storyline or Nagant's skills or whatever either, because to be perfectly frank this is something that was established long before those things came along, and this takes precedence. Kacchan staked his claim to number one in the very first chapter. he reaffirmed that claim multiple times throughout the series, including after DvK1 and DvK2. he was the second one to be tied to All Might's legacy right after Deku. he is the other half of the "win" and "save" equation. the first one Deku entrusted with his secret. the one who Deku emulates. and the reason why Deku left UA. the real reason. not the only reason, but the predominant reason which he still hasn't been able to face yet. because Kacchan's body moved on its own, and he took that blow for him, and that frightened him more than anything has ever frightened him before.

so yeah, it has to happen. there are too many loose ends which need to be addressed. too much emotional buildup to be resolved with just a handful of sentences while they duke it out alongside their classmates. at the very least, if 1-A does wind up triumphing over Deku, there would need to be some kind of follow-up conversation between Deku and Kacchan alone, if not necessarily a fight.

but you know what, even as I typed that last sentence out it didn't feel right lol. ngl I do still think it's gonna be a fight. that's just what they do. they're shounen rivals. and shounen rivals share their feelings via their fists lol. and these two have a lot of feelings to share, and a shitload of trauma to unpack and address. and that moment at the end of 318 -- that solo moment with just Kacchan, alongside the "the one who can complete Midoriya Izuku..." dialogue -- that wasn't just a coincidence. there is absolutely no way.

so yeah, I stand by my previous posts lol. we doin this. not sure when, at this point, but stay tuned.

[kanmom51]

Thinking of the early days. My belief is the shift in JM & JK’s relationship happened late August 2015.  Prior to that there was a sense of change in the way JK was acting around JM, the way he looked at him, the way he touched him, there was a feel of sexual tension in the way he was acting, but there wasn’t a sense of reciprocity, not yet.

This fansign takes place on July 4th 2015, just slightly before JK and JM took that leap to change the nature of their relationship, and that is why this moment is so damn strange and interesting to me.

JK is sat by JM.  His attention is on JM.  He is smiling.

Then RM reaches out and puts his arm around JM’s neck.  At this point you see the smile starting to disappear.  But when RM gets a hold of JM’s right wrist and pulls JM closer, hugging him, bringing their heads & faces closer together, JM also grabbing hold of RM’s right hand, that’s when JK turns his head away, like he can’t look at what was going on there.  

We wouldn’t have given it another thought if not for what came next.

JK is clearly upset.  He does turn his head back but refrains from looking at the two, averting his eyes, and head downwards.  In the meantime, RM still has his arm around JM’s neck, both sitting close together.  

JK is supposedly busy, or more like keeping himself busy, trying to avoid the situation that is clearly making him not only uncomfortable, but upset.  You can see it written all over his face.

But then comes the kicker.

JM turns to JK calls out to him twice, JK outright ignoring him. And it’s clear it’s not that he can’t hear him.  He is making a point of ignoring JM.  RM releases JM after the second time JK ignores JM.  JM starts saying J.. but then turns to the fans.

When JM finally calls JK for the third time JK looks at him indifferently, and then turns back towards the audience and does his heart sign, void of any emotions.

Even then, he just can’t overcome his anger/ annoyance, and although he does the heart sign for the fans, he does that with a straight face, not a hint of smile or smirk (well, there is emotion, but it isn’t a positive one).  He is so upset, that he can’t even force himself to smile for the fans, for army that he loves so much. That is something really really big.

And RM’s behaviour is as loud too.

RM removing his hand from JM when seeing JK’s reaction, that is big thing. His attention towards what will follow is also big.  Worried look towards JK, and when JK finally does the heart, all the time keeping this straight face, RM folds down laughing. Was he laughing because of the absurdity of the situation?  Was he laughing at JK’s reaction, just like he seems to laugh sometimes when JK cries? Did he laugh as a stress release, after he felt the issue was resolved? was it relief?

After doing the heart for the fans JM asks Hobi to do the same. JK’s facial expression changes immediately after turning and watching Hobi, but then becomes solemn again when turning back looking at RM and JM, staring at JM as he gets up.

 I have soooo many questions about this moment:

Why would JK be so upset seeing the interaction between RM and JM? Why would RM immediately remove his arm when he sees JK’s reaction?  Why the worried look on RM’s face?

JM too.  Why turn to JK at that point? Did he notice JK was upset?  Did he try to placate him?  Why? Why not just leave him alone if he noticed he was upset? Or maybe he didn’t notice JK’s reaction to start with.  Maybe he was unaware of the shift in his behaviour and that’s why he turned to him in the first place.  Did he realise what happened, that there was a shift in behaviour and what caused it? RM did, but I really don’t know if JM did.  Sometimes the ones around us see the whole picture, when we ourselves are blinded, being too close.

Idk.  This clip leaves me with so many unanswered questions.

I wish we had the bigger picture, meaning more than a few second clip, and including full proper translation.  We are unaware what happened before or after. 

Saying that, even though we don’t have the full full picture, I think it’s a stretch to say there isn’t a cause and effect here, as short as the clip is.  

JK is smiling…JM & RM interact…not only is JK no longer smiling, he is clearly upset… I don’t think it’s a stretch to conclude JK was upset from what was going on between RM & JM.  

 To me this incident brings to light the internal turmoil JK is going through at that point.

And yes, it’s an incident, because it affected not only JK’s behaviour towards JM or RM, but also his interaction with the fans, a big no no.  It’s clearly something we weren’t supposed to see.

JK is finding it hard to come to terms with what he is feeling, but it is affecting his surroundings, that are becoming aware there might be something going on with him.  

Another clip comes to mind with a similar vibe, although there it didn’t affect JK’s behaviour in front of the fans.  I’m talking about  BTS Bomb after KBS music bank 1st place 9 May 2015 (from 4.36min) – JK’s behaviour when JM is paying attention to Hobe,  the way JK averts his eyes when Jimin looks his way. He’s not happy, and the change of mood when Jimin does pay him attention pulling him by his shirt.  

My gut feeling is that at this point JM is unaware what is going on with JK, why he is acting all hot and cold.  That kind of hot and cold behaviour can be easily interpreted as dislike, not attraction.  

I think the members feel something is going on with JK, I mean, it’s hard not to notice it.  But what exactly, I don’t think they realise yet.  Is he crushing on JM?  Does he dislike JM?  Does JM rub him the wrong way?  Is it just him being a teenager? JK is all over the place with his behaviour.  And I wonder If this is what we get from a couple of clips, how was his behaviour off camera?  Was it that erratic too?  

What does make me happy is the fact that whatever he was going through, he was brave enough to face it and move forward.  And yes, I think JK was the one to make the first move and act on his feelings, not JM.

[derryqueenx]

idk how many hurt bingo prompt requests you get at a time i hope its not too overwhelming! if it isnt maybe for ‘ambulance ride’ Vince has an overdose? (If youre comfortable writing that ofc) & howard Freaks Out ?

Ambulance Ride.

Word Count: 2605

TW: Drug mentions, overdose, my lack of hospital knowledge or lingo.

ayyyyye another bingoooooo

Send through your prompts and any Noel/Julian related characters (if you have one in mind! If not I’ll just write whatever I feel works best for said prompt)! The Free Prompt square is if you want me to write a fic based on something that’s not already written! You can send them in and just say it’s for the ‘free prompt’ bingo. Let’s cause our favourite characters some hurt (with small comfort. I’m not a monster.) blue = already submitted

The blinding whiteness of the hospital walls around him were dulling his senses. He couldn’t hear properly, he couldn’t think properly, he couldn’t breathe properly. All he could do was sit, and watch the time move by slowly.

People came and went – families, boyfriends, mothers, children. All of them taking one look at the empty shell of a man sitting in the waiting room and moving on without another word. Sending their silent prayers to whoever it was he was waiting for because if it was causing someone to look as broken as Howard did right now, then they must need it.

He couldn’t remember how long he’d been sitting here, twiddling his thumbs aimlessly, staring at the clock tick by, head snapping at every nurse or doctor that passed by in hopes they were coming for him with an update, but none did.

He didn’t know what felt worse. The waiting and the unknown, or the events that led up to all of this.

Vince had dragged him to a party, a housewarming for Leroy, and Howard went on the deal that they’d leave by midnight. It was now 1:30am and they were still there, but Vince was nowhere to be found. Most of the other guests had left already, leaving just Howard standing awkwardly in the living room as he waited for Vince to emerge.

At first he assumed Vince had left him. Gotten too drunk to remember that Howard had come along with him and stumbled home on his own, and Howard was nearly about to leave himself, until Leroy fell into the wall, supporting his drunken self up barely on the structure, letting out a burp and then a chuckle at himself in amusement.

“Leroy, have you seen Vince?” Howard asked, already irritated and just wanting to leave.

Leroy blinked in confusion at first, seemingly unaware that Howard speaking to him until he caught his movement, his drunken eyes latching onto Howard’s as he tried to focus. “Huh?” He asked dumbly.

Howard sighed. “Vince. Have you seen him?” He repeated.

The other man pondered for a moment, thinking long and hard on the question he’d been asked. “Oh, yeah! He fell asleep in the bathroom.” Leroy laughed, pointing his shaky finger down the hall to where a light was shining through a crack in the door.

Howard rolled his eyes, already knowing he’s going to have to carry Vince’s drunken ass all the way back to the apartment and planning the speech he’d be giving the younger man tomorrow morning when he wakes up on keeping his promises. Without thanking Leroy, Howard walked past the man and down to the bathroom.

As he got closer, he could see the signature sparkling pink heeled boots that his friend had worn laid out on the tiled floor, the legs attached to them sprawled out too. Vince must have been absolutely wasted if he allowed himself to ruin his outfit on a no doubt dirty bathroom floor. He’ll probably spend the entirety of tomorrow cleaning it all off one speck of dust at a time.

Howard pushed open the door, already prepared to see his friend collapsed on the ground face first, eyesclosed and mouth open like he was stuck in a deep sleep. Howard let out a loud sigh, nudging his shoe into Vince’s leg to try and stir him awake. “Vince, come on, get up. We gotta go.” Vince didn’t stir, so he tried again. “Psst. Get up, alright? It’s disgusting down there.” When Vince ignored him again, Howard groaned frustratingly. He glanced around the bathroom, taking in all the empty bottles and cans scattered around the room. “Jesus, Vince, how much did you drink?” He whispered to himself.

Howard walked further into the bathroom, squatting down by his friends head in hopes of getting his attention better. Gentle enough that it wouldn’t hurt, but hard enough to wake him up, Howard tapped onto Vince’s cheek impatiently. “Vince… Come on, work with me here a little. I’ve been missing my jazzercize classes, so I won’t be able to carry you the entire way.” When Vince didn’t even stir or blink again, Howard started getting a bit more worried. His friend seemed fine, just looked like he was sleeping, but even sleeping people move a little. “Vince? Vince, hey? Vince!” Howard’s voice raised bit by bit with every response gone unheard, until by the last one Howard was roughly shaking his passed out friends shoulders, jerking his body, to still no prevail.

He was panicking a little now. Vince was a heavy sleeper, but not like this. He was practically dead to the world. Howard took another glance around the room, trying to find something that would either give him answers or help wake up his friend, when he found something he’d missed earlier.

Resting on the sink were a few pill bottles – some empty, some with a few left in them, but none of them belonging to Vince. He quickly grabbed them, inspecting the contents and discovering they were all for pain killers. Around him he also now realized were crushed powders and loose pills thrown all around the room, but the most shocking sight came from the few that he saw near Vince’s head on the ground.

His mind started racing now, a thousand possibilities all shooting across his head. No way Vince would take drugs, he knew better than that! This wasn’t happening… This wasn’t happening…

“Vince, I need you to wake up buddy, okay?” Howard desperately tried again, hoping this was all just a big misunderstanding and Vince was really just asleep. “Please, Vince! Wake up!” Still, nothing. “Fuck!” He cried out to himself, adrenaline taking over as he rolled Vince over onto his back, trying to take in everything and see if there was something he was missing.

Vince was dead weight to him, and when he had him rolled over, even the rise and fall of his chest was hardly noticeable, if there at all. “Shit shit shit! Vince, come on, don’t do this to me!” Howard cried out, slapping his friends face a few times, his eyes beginning to water at the reality sinking in.

At some point, Howard made the wise decision to call the ambulance, and after staying on the line for as long as he could manage, doing everything he was told to keep Vince comfortable and stable, 2 paramedics arrived and took over.

Howard was forced to watch as his best friend was prodded and inspected, laying motionless as they did so, and listening to them talk about him like he wasn’t there, like he was just another junkie that they’d found on the street. He wanted to shout at them that Vince wouldn’t do this, that he was special and kind and this was all a misunderstanding, but the words wouldn’t come out. He stood off to the side of the bathroom, letting them work as he watched in shock, his shaking hands covering his mouth to stifle back the sobs that were threatening to break through.

This wasn’t how tonight was meant to go. This was just a stupid housewarming party. A party that Vince was meant to soon forget about because of how lame it would be.

“What has he taken?” One of them asked, snapping Howard from his thoughts.

“What?” He asked, sounding just as dumb as he mentally noted Leroy had sounded earlier.

“Your friend, what has he taken tonight?” They repeated, never once looking up at Howard as they inspected Vince.

“I, uh, I don’t know..” He stuttered. “He’d been drinking and I thought that was it, but when I came in I saw all the pills on the floor and he wasn’t moving… Oh god…”

“We need to get him to the hospital.” One of the paramedics spoke up to their partner and Howard’s heart skipped a beat. Why couldn’t they just fix him here? It wasn’t that bad, right? He’d just fallen asleep and needed to be woken up, that was it.

When the paramedics began moving Vince’s body onto the gurney, Howard’s protectiveness overcame him for a moment as they picked him up because they didn’t know him, they didn’t know that Vince bruised easily or that they had grab his shirt in a certain way or risk tearing it. “Be careful!” Howard shouted, lunging forward when one of them accidently ripped off a sequin from Vince’s pants.

“Sir, I need you to stay back, okay?”

“No-No you don’t understand.. I have to be with him. I’m-I’m always with him, he can’t-“ He started stuttering, unsure what he was trying to say or plead, but just knowing there was no way in hell Howard would let them take Vince away without him there too.

One of the paramedics placed a hand on Howard’s shoulder, whether it was intended to be comforting or authoritative Howard wasn’t sure, but it did manage to break his gaze from his unconscious friend to look worriedly at the man in front of him. “Look, sir, I know you’re worried but you have to let us do our job. He needs to go to the hospital now.” He explained, not waiting for Howard’s response before his attention was turned back to Vince, strapping him down as they began rolling him out to the ambulance.

Gratefully, Howard was allowed to travel with them, and thank god he was because Howard wasn’t sure if he’d be able to drive himself to the hospital in this state, but the trip there wasn’t any better than it was in the bathroom. The paramedics continued to prod Vince’s lifeless form, injecting him with needles and god knows what else, and speaking to one another in terms that Howard didn’t understand, but it wasn’t like he was paying much attention anyway. All of his focus was on Vince.

His friend hadn’t moved yet, not even a small stir to indicate he was alive, and no one was telling Howard anything to put his mind at ease. Even when they arrived at the hospital, the array of nurses and doctors all running out to meet them and take Vince away from him, no one said anything to ease Howard’s mind. They just left him standing in the busy emergency room, watching as his friends body was pulled away behind closed doors, unawares of what was going to happen or what do to.

And Howard had been waiting there ever since.

Still no sign of Vince, or word from any nurse on what was happening. Any time he asked they simply told him they’d let him know, or encouraged him to eat or sleep, but Howard couldn’t. How could he eat or sleep at a time like this? At a time when Vince needed him more than ever, and he wasn’t even there.

What if Vince woke up surrounded by people he didn’t know? What if he was scared, or embarrassed, or upset and just wanted Howard, but Howard was out here being useless?

His head was hung in his hands trying to block out every negative thought that crossed his mind. Every time the possibility that Vince might not wake up at all entered, Howard pushed it away because that just wasn’t an option. No sir. Vince was going to be fine. He had to be.

For Howard’s sake, Vince had to be fine. Because if he wasn’t… Well, Howard wasn’t sure what he’d do.

“Mr. Moon?” A voice spoke up, Howard jumping out of his seat in an instant as he walked towards the nurse.

“Is he okay?” He asked, worry and dread filling his voice as he waited. Whatever line came out next would change everything. Would define the next chapter of his life entirely.

“Mr. Noir is fine.” She said, and Howard very nearly cried from relief. “He’s awake now if you want to-“

“Yes! Please, yes, where is he?” Howard cut her off, shouting much louder than he intended to but he didn’t care. He needed to see Vince, he’d been waiting far too long and he needed the images of his friends lifeless body to be replaced with his living one. She led him down the hallway to Vince’s room, giving him a quick warning that he might seem a little out of it or tired, but it was perfectly normal and to not be alarmed.

Howard practically ran into the room, and within the second he saw Vince blink up at him, the tears were flowing freely again. He was fine. He was awake and he was fine. “Oh thank god.” Howard cried out, the weight lifted from his shoulders making his knee’s weak as he nearly collapsed down onto the bed. A million questions came to the surface that he wanted to ask. A thousand things he wanted to say. “How-How are you feeling?” He decided upon instead.

Vince sighed, blinking heavily. “Like shit.” He croaked out honestly. “Are you-“ He paused, swallowing a lump in his throat. “Are you the one who, you know, called them?” He wasn’t making eye contact with Howard, simply staring at the walls, the blanket, the floor, anywhere he could avoid looking at the older man.

“Yeah. You scared the shit out of me.” Howard confessed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “You weren’t moving… You were just- you were-“ He choked up, unable to finish that sentence or else risk causing another panic from reliving the painful sight and feelings he’d experienced.

“Fuck.” He breathed out in disbelief. “I’m so sorry, Howard.” Vince piped up, still unable to look at his friend. “I swear, I don’t do this often. I don’t know what happened tonight- people just kept offering me things and I kept taking them, and I was too drunk to realize when it was getting bad until it was too late. Please, please don’t hate me..” Vince was crying now, the tears falling and leaving small puddles onto the hospital sheet. “I swear, I didn’t mean it.”

“Hey, hey..” Howard soothed, his hand reaching up to hold onto Vince’s comfortingly. “I could never hate you, are you kidding? Not after everything I just felt at the thought of losing you. Just- You have to promise me you won’t do that again. Ever. I can’t go through that again, and neither can you.” Howard said sternly, studying Vince intently as he waited for the smaller man to look at him finally. When Vince didn’t respond except a small sniffle, Howard knew he had to try harder. He reached forward, gripping Vince gently by the chin and raising his head up until they locked eyes, something that the smaller man allowed him to do without complaint. “Please. Promise me.”

Vince’s bottom lip quivered as he tried to hold back his own sob this time, his eyes softening as they read Howard’s desperation. “I promise. I’ll do my best.” He stated, much to Howard’s relief who merely pulled his raven haired friend forward, his head resting on Howard’s shoulder as he embraced him, solace taking over as he just allowed himself to be grateful that Vince was fine.

“I’ll help you out with whatever you need.” Howard said, unawares on how much Vince relied on drugs, if at all, but that was a conversation for another time. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Right now they were just going to be happy with one another. Right now they were going to be thankful they were both healthy.

Right now Howard was going to be thanking his lucky stars that Vince was alive.

-

WOOOOO She back with a new hurt bingo story y'all. Thanks so much for your patience while i was sick!!!

Now, ngl I know very little about overdoses and ambulance lingo and hospital stuff so I tried to keep this as simple as possible and just focus on Howard’s turmoil, so I hope it’s not shit or seriously incorrect.

[dangerous-disposition]

On Tragedy vs. Bad Endings

[Image ID: user @frostyfrogz​ replied to your post “my mag171 #thots: I fully agree with. I love jonmartin I want nothing but the best for them. I know my answer today was an obvious twisting of dialogue but its just frustrating sometimes because it seems like people dont understand some sort of tragedy will indeed happen. I have never and will never suggest that something will happen to Jon and Martin’s relationship I’ve just been saying the shows not going to end well no matter what.]

So I have a lot of thoughts about this very subject, and too much for the replies on my post, so allow me to try to articulate what I mean, and what a lot of us mean when we say “it does not make sense for either Jon or Martin to turn evil in the end,” even in a show that has been advertised from day one as a tragedy.

First of all, no one thinks this is going to end happy. The few who do are usually unaware that this show is billed as a tragedy, and are quick to be corrected. I didn’t know it was a tragedy until I was on season 3 and someone told me. It’s overall just best to assume that the OP knows it’s not going to be a happy ending, because “reminding” people or “explaining” to people that the ending is going to be sad is a fast way from people to get annoyed and defensive.

Anyway! It appears, above all, that people have either fundamentally different ideas of what a tragedy is or accomplishes, or that people have a fundamentally flawed understanding of tragedy and it’s place as a narrative device/theme.

My thoughts are that tragedies hurt, and tragedies can be devastating, but they have to have a message and they should not be cruel to the audience.

A cruel ending would involve leading the audience to believe one thing for the entire book, show, movie, podcast, what have you, just to rip it away at the last minute like a big “fuck you” to the audience. Those sorts of endings are inherently mocking of the audience, and ultimately disrespectful. The only people in the audience that “benefit” from this sort of writing are the cynics who spent the entire show talking down to everyone for seeing the silver lining in the impending tragedy, even if, up until the finale, the silver lining was always part of the narrative. Like it took actual twisting and outright ignoring of the narrative as it’s written to be cynical and sceptical all the way until the end.

That is, plain and simple, bad writing. Jonny Sims is not a bad writer.

Now tragedies often have “happy endings,” they just also have an element of sadness colouring that ending. A good, tragic ending should, in my opinion, feel bittersweet. We should see it coming, we should know it will hurt, but it should be for the greater good and should further the narrative that has been told from the beginning.

I said a few weeks ago that a tragic ending without a silver lining is just torture porn, and I stand by it.

Now, if Jon or Martin are revealed to be Actually Evil in the end, where is the silver lining in that? What narrative has even possibly hinted at this outcome, without putting on cynic glasses?

Every single plot point and plot “twist” in TMA has been clearly detailed, never relegated to pure subtext that you would have to comb through a single interraction and analyzing the tone in which it was said (which could easily be actor shortcomings or error). They have always been obvious, at least in hindsight. This is why, for a while, I subscribed to the Web!Martin theory, but due to recent episodes I’m more inclined to believe those “obvious things” were red herrings.

Throughout The Magnus Archives, the common theme in every. Single. Season finale is that “we are stronger together.” What do I mean by that? Well, here’s the general idea:

Season 1: The one time someone gets separated by the group for any significant length of time, like I mean the main group, she gets killed by the NotThem and replaced.

Season 2: Jon is alone, due to his intense paranoia and his reluctance to reach out for help. This leads to a disastrous series of events that leaves him a suspect of murder, and his friends even more doubtful of his character.

Season 3: In the episode just before they deal with the Unknowing, Jon literally says that isolation was his downfall, and he was going to work on trusting his friends more. When they got separated during the Unknowing, things went to shit. When they found each other again, they were able to rally and they “succeeded.” Conversely, they are also teamed up with Melanie and Martin who hung back to bring down Elias. They were successful, working as teams on separate objectives, etc.

Season 4: This is, by far, their most “successful” feats while simultaneously their least. The whole season was again showing the downfalls of isolation. In the season finale, Jon has Basira and Daisy’s help, and while bolstering himself with their strength, and the strength in his conviction to save Martin to be with Martin, Jon was successful in stopping Peter Lukas and saving Martin. Conversely, Martin and Jon’s isolation in Scotland could be, theoretically, implicated in how Jonah Magnus was able to succeed in the end like that.

Now evidence of this same train of thought in season 5? Jon literally says it: Gertrude would not have done well in this post-apocalyptic world, because she had no friendships, no anchors, no reason to stay human. And then Jon says “you are my reason” to Martin.

It is in the text of the story that the only way to succeed, or win, or survive, is through trust, friendship, and love. One of the main factors in so many of the statements, on why the statement givers succumbed to the fear in their story, for even a moment, had to do with very little personal ties to anyone else. Many of the statements feature isolation and, as Jon put it, “lack of corroboration.” On the flipside, many of the statements that ended with the statement giver escaping successfully, and surviving long enough to be reached out to for follow-up questions, involved them having close personal ties to someone else that kept them safe, somehow. Like the girl from Italy; remembering her mom saved her from the Lonely. Or, more ridiculously, the guy and his dog that escaped the spiral because he was so distracted by his dog and had to be home for dinner. In MAG170, it was Martin’s love for Jon, and his trust in the love from Jon and his friends, that saved him from the Lonely again. Jon’s incredible amount of love, and respect, and trust in his friends is what’s kept him from becoming another Jared Hopworth or Jude Perry. In MAG155, Cost of Living, he expresses open disgust in how that particular avatar of The End justified her actions, killing and killing and killing again because she viewed herself as more worthy of life than that person. In that same episode, he talks of not blinding himself because he hopes to use his powers to protect his friends, that without them they’re too vulnerable. Honestly, this is the same reason Peter Lukas is unsuccessful, because Martin only helped him at all to protect his friends. The fact that he didn’t see his failure coming was hilarious.

Gerry said in Family Business that there is no “entities of love”, and that might be true, but love and trust is literally what saves you from fear. How many of us deal with things that are scary in our lives, if only because we have some level of trust in the people or things around us. How many of us have been brought out of a panic attack by someone we love and trust?

So all of this has been presented to us, over and over and over again, which is what I, and others, mean when we say “it does not make sense for one of them to be evil.” That’s what we mean when we say “it would be Bad Writing to make one of them evil in the end.” The entire show has driven home the message that we need love, we need personal connections to survive fear. To rip that away from the main characters at the last minute and call it “tragedy” would be a spit in the face of every single listener who took the story at face value, without picking it apart and reading lines out of context. And Jonny Sims and Alex J. Newall have both said they hate lazy writing.

Now, none of the JonMartin fans I follow are deluding themselves to think this show will have a happy ending outside of very self-indulgent fix-it au fanfics.

The way I see this going down is that Jon and Martin will figure out how to put the world back to the way it was, but Jon will not be able to be part of the new world with Martin. That’s the tragedy; that the world gets saved, and Jon helps save it, but he doesn’t get to benefit from his efforts in any way. The tragedy is Jon loves Martin so much, and they deserve their happy ending, but they don’t get it. But, they still saved the world so others can have their happy endings.

Idk about you, but between the “Jon turns evil in the end” and “Jon stays good and sacrifices himself to save the world” endings, only one of them has me in tears right now as I type this out, and it’s not the former.

I’m not against sad endings,I’m against bad endings that punish the audience for having even a bittersweet hope. I’m against sad endings that are just sad for the sake of being sad, with zero pay-off or reason to happen, especially when those endings throw out 5 years of hard work.

And hey, I might just be forced to eat my words in the end, but not before I fly all the way to England and make Jonny Sims eat a knuckle sandwich.

This was a lot longer than I meant for it to be, but I just have a lot of feelings.

[alleycat97]

Snow Queen

Part 1? Just some random Hella Soft Blaine and Mc story. I don’t know what I was shooting for but here you go. Maybe a part 2? Idk yet.

F!Blaine x Mc(Kennedy Monroe)

Tag list: @blaine-hayes @samanthadalton @fundamentalromantic @kwaj05 @danna-min-sinclair @mintchocolate-chip @dopeyouth @shows-simp-card @clowneryme @scarlet-letter-a0114 @avanimous @choicesilona @somewillwin @iamsimpforpoppy @robintora @alexlabhont

Some vacation, who would have guessed a private ski lodge for diplomats with body guards and maximum security would have an issue with paparazzi?

Usually they don’t bother or even get near the place unless there is a story, and Kennedy Monroe was the story of the year, that was, if they could catch her.

She spent most of her vacation avoiding the paparazzi by a series of gut wrenching maneuvers on the slopes along with Blaine. It was actually becoming quite fun trying to evade them. It kept the adrenaline pumping for the girls as they tried to outdo one another in their big escapes.

For as much as they skied together and spent time together laughing and hanging out on the slopes, no one had put the two together, something that might unravel itself sooner rather than later.

Blaine and Kennedy started their morning’s off sitting next to each other at breakfast. Blaine always made sure Kennedy finished all her food before hitting the slopes. Besides evading the paparazzi, Blaine helped Kennedy with new moves and tricks on some jumps. Kennedy wasn’t the worlds worst skier, she just wasn’t as polished as Blaine.

But it wasn’t always skiing. The two girls would sneak off the runs and build snowmen and snow angels. One afternoon was so bad with the paparazzi, Blaine pulled Kennedy off the run and built them an igloo to hide in. One of many hidden talents the Ardonian possessed.

Of course the igloo wasn’t the largest of structures, especially the inside. Kennedy nearly had to straddle Blaine’s lap just to fit inside, something neither girl was complaining about.

“I see what you did here Blaine.” Kennedy smirked.

“What? I didn’t do anything.” Blaine replied with her trademark grin. “Just big enough for two.”

The two were quite fond of the igloo, it was their private oasis away from their friends and press on the slopes but would always end up back in Blaine’s room soaking away the aches of the days adventures.

The two started opposite of each other, just barely allowing their feet to rub one another. Then they started sitting side by side so they could hold hands. Then they always ended up with Kennedy sitting with her back to Blaine’s front, with the brunettes legs wrapped around the blonde’s waist.

Kennedy would just relax back into Blaine as she felt the girls grip tighten and the soft brush of her lips caressing the skin behind her ear. Not much was said, but the delicate actions spoke louder than any word either could muster.

One of the last morning’s, Blaine wasn’t at breakfast. Kennedy shot her a quick text before taking her own seat.

Blaine immediately responded with a message telling Kennedy to meet her at the igloo around noon for a surprise. Kennedy couldn’t stop bouncing in anticipation at the possibilities.

A surprise? From Blaine? Kennedy didn’t know whether to be excited or afraid.

Kennedy made it to the top of the ski lift and solo skied down the run and over to the secret igloo that Blaine had made. Finding Blaine tucked away inside with a blanket strung out with a picnic basket.

“Surprise!” Blaine greeted awkwardly, this feeling was all new to her.

“Oh a picnic? How romantic.”

“Yeah yeah I’m a saint. Now dig in, I’ve slaved over this all morning.” Blaine admitted timidly.

“You!? You made all this food? Thanks for the warning.” Kennedy teased pushing the basket away.

“Hey! It’s not that bad! I worked hard on it!”

Kennedy took the basket back and dug in, moaning in surprise on how tasteful the food was. “This is amazing Blaine thank you.”

Blaine smiled due to her small victory. Never in a million years did she ever consider baking anything for anyone, including a special someone. But here she was smiling, watching Kennedy enjoy her handy work.

After the tasteful lunch Kennedy tossed the basket aside, capturing Blaine’s lips with intensity and passion.

“Thank you so much for lunch Blaine, it was perfect.”

“A perfect lunch, for a perfect girl.” Blaine happily replied returning the kiss.

“When did you become so soft!?” Kennedy grinned.

“First day of school when I slammed that limo door shut, I caught a beautiful blonde staring from the sidewalk. I knew then I was toast.”

Kennedy squeezed Blaine’s hand thinking back to that day and how far the two have come, even if it was on the down low.

“But don’t you dare tell anyone Rutherland, my reputation would be destroyed.”

“We will keep it our little secret. And speaking of secrets? Do you think we will ever spill this one?” Kennedy said gesturing between them.

“I hope so, and soon.” Blaine admitted. “I value our time together as us, but I want the world to know you’re mine.”

“I agree. But do you think we are ready to take that on? We have countries to think about, our own people, our families.”

“Hell with them. We are grown women Kennedy, we can make our own decisions for our own reasons.”

“So...you do wish to keep this going?” Kennedy questioned.

“Kennedy we can do anything if we try. It’s just you and me. Our future is what we make it, not what our parents or countries make it.”

“Ok who are you and what did you do with Blaine.” Kennedy teased, lightly nudging Blaine.

“I mean it Rutherland. You mean the world to me. On a night when bad dreams become a screamer, When they're messing with the dreamer, I can laugh it in the face. I can twist and shout my way out, And wrap yourself around me. Because I ain’t the way you found me, And I'll never be the same.”

“D...Did you just quote a Hall & Oates song?” Kennedy thought, mulling over Blaine’s words.

“That’s not important, but what is, is that you changed me for the better Rutherland. You got me bad and I don’t want it to stop. I mean hell, I even cooked you lunch!” Blaine pointed out.

“Yes you did my little chef.” Kennedy said giving Blaine another appreciative Kiss. “Soon the world will know. Soon.”

The two were interrupted by an intense wind gust that started to blow snow into the igloo. Blaine stuck her head out to examine the outside world.

“It’s snowing again. These are big flakes Kennedy, and with this wind, it won’t be long until it’s blizzard conditions.”

“It’s getting colder too.” Kennedy added watching her breath intensify into the air.

“We better get back now before it’s too late.” Blaine spoke hurriedly packing the gear up and slapping her skis on.

The two abandoned their igloo and set off for the lodge. It was a decent run, and the near whiteout conditions had set in quicker than either thought.

“Kennedy!” Blaine yelled over her shoulder. “Stay close! We will cut through the woods up ahead, snow should be lighter.”

“Ok!”

The two approached a small thicket, telling them the woods were close. An odd movement in the thicket caught Blaine’s attention.

“Kennedy! To the left!” She pointed out.

“Paparazzi!” Kennedy yelled back. “Do these guys ever take a day off!”

“I don’t think he see’s us!” Blaine added looking for the guy again. “Where did he go?”

“He was just right out front?” Kennedy said speeding past Blaine unaware of how close she was to the woods. “I don’t see him!?”

“Kennedy! Look out!” Blaine screamed as the man appeared in front of Kennedy with his camera snapping shots of the first daughter.

The close proximity in the blinding snow startled Kennedy and she swerved around the man, hitting a tree head on.

“Kennedy!” Blaine whined out in fear, stopping next to the blonde, checking her over. “You fucking asshole!” Blaine snapped towards the cameraman.

“Oh this is good footage!” The man said recording the entire interaction. “You care to comment why you are so worried about your rival countries first daughter?”

Blaine reared back and slugged the creep. Taking his camera and tossing it against a tree, making sure it was good and broke. “Put that in your article asshole.”

The man staggered over and snagged his sim card before Blaine could and made his escape before Blaine had a chance to kill him.

“Kennedy!? Are you ok?” She asked rushing over when she heard the girl moaning in pain.

Kennedy tried to roll over, crying in immense pain. “Where does it hurt?” Blaine asked.

“My shoulder and neck.” Kennedy weakly got out. “My nose. I...I can’t breathe Blaine!” Kennedy started to freak but Blaine tried to calm her. Blaine noticed the blood surrounding the girls face.

“Broken nose, try and breathe through your mouth. Relax... breathe in, and out. Stay calm and I’ll call for help.” Blaine assured.

Soon the ski patrol made it with a evac snowmobile to find Blaine using her body to cover and warm Kennedy.

“Miss? We need to get her to the lodge.” The rescuer spoke removing Blaine.

The brunette watched as they speed off down the mountain with Kennedy and she hopped on the other machine to quickly get out of this snow storm.

As soon as she made it the lodge her classmates and Tatum had swarmed her.

“What happened to Kennedy?” Dionne asked.

“Yeah! They rushed her in on a stretcher and everything!” Peter added.

“I’ll need to ask you some questions Miss Hayes.” Tatum asked professionally.

“What the fuck is this!? 20 questions? Where is she?” Blaine snapped.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to answer the questions first. I’m not letting you see her without answering my questions. You are a witness and depending on your answers, a suspect.”

“Take your questions and shove them up your ass pretty boy. You’re not stopping me from seeing my girlfriend.”

The room went silent. Blaine could hear the many gasp’s from her friends but didn’t dare hide her relationship anymore.

“Girlfriend!?” Alexei asked. “I thought Evelyn was her girlfriend?”

“Pretend.” Evelyn noted.

“Finally!” Dionne squealed.

Tatum drug Blaine away and wrote down a room number. “That’s her room number at the hospital. Helicopter just took off.

“Then why are you still here?” Blaine questioned.

“I was supposed to interrogate you, but I see no need. I will need to ask you two what happened for my report when this settles down.” Tatum spoke.

Blaine, as restless as ever, called in her helicopter, and within an hour was taking off from the ski lodge in route to the hospital.

It was another 30 minute flight as she rushed into the hospital finding the correct level and the lucky door she was searching for. Demarco guarded the door but nodded for Blaine to go in.

“Kennedy?” Blaine asked easing into the room, finding the girl asleep on the bed. Her nose was severely bruised but had all the blood washed from her face. The cuts had been taken care of, and she was placed in a neck brace.

“Miss?” A nurse spoke entering the room. “We need to get Ms. Monroe to surgery. We are ready for her.”

“Surgery?” Blaine asked worriedly.

“On her shoulder and clavicle. It took a beating on that impact.” The nurse spoke taking the bed out the door.

Blaine wondered the halls alone waiting for Kennedy to finish surgery. It was literally the longest 5 hours of her life and the longest she’s gone without Kennedy aside from sleeping.

She didn’t know exactly how she fell so hard for Kennedy but she knew she didn’t want to go back. Life was so much better and worth living with her by her side.

“Ms. Hayes?” A nurse timidly approached, not wanting to interfere with a somber looking Blaine.

“Yes?”

“Ms. Monroe’s surgery was successful and she has returned to her room. She won’t stop asking for you.”

Blaine smiled as she took off running down the corridors, nearly bulldozing the room door down trying to get in so quickly.

“Blaine!” Kennedy squealed.

Blaine delicately took the girl in a hug, careful not to hurt her too much. “I missed you Rutherland.”

“Not as much as I missed you. You like my new look? Vogue says if your atleast 33% in castings, your trendy.” Kennedy teased.

“I guess given the circumstances, you look ravishing.” Blaine agreed.

“Ms. Hayes, if I didn’t know any better? I’d say your blushing.” Kennedy teased.

“Am not!” Blaine protested, blushing even harder. “Ok maybe alittle, so sue me.”

“I’ll do one better, come here.”

Blaine did as told and leaned down, meeting Kennedy in a much relieved and much needed kiss.

“I love you Blaine.”

“I love you Rutherland. So much.”