#idk hes just a cheese kind of guy

[nailgunstigmata]

idk if they will but if they make even one throwaway line about dennis‘ eating disorder in the chuck e cheese ep i will tear out all my eyelashes….idk his relationship to food and specifically fast food is sooo interesting to me and i could literally just look up at the ceiling and ramble about it for hours and like. one tiny line. just one throwaway joke. if he says the words carbs or grease or fat i will scream so loud it punctures the eardrums of everyone in the vicinity. i keep having horrifying visions of seeing everyone casually eating pizza at some point in the ep except for dennis and its not brought up but just something i have to go crazy over. idk

[nomaishuttle]

on a semi related note there r like 2 specific times i remember expecting one of my safe foods and getting something entirely different and being SO insanely upset abt it even though the thing i got still tasted good

[brucewaynehater101]

Hello, I am the person from a few days ago that mentioned House MD. .y idea for it is very simple and very funny. Tim ends up in House's hospital with House as his doctor. He was found unconscious on the side of the road with 3 stab wounds, two broken ribs, and a broken leg.

Tim is Knocked Out and in Civilian Clothes with No Wallet. Which means No ID. They call him John Doe for now and move on to stitching him up and doing an xray of his chest so they can fix up his ribs and check for internal bleeding from the stabs. They are having some kind of debate about how the kid has clearly had his ribs shattered many, many times and how they healed when House suddenly stands up and says, "all of you are missing the forest for the tree. Ignore the ribs for a second before the kid dies." He then leaves the room to the confusion of all the assistants. It takes almost ten seconds for one of them to yell, "WHERES HIS SPLEEN"

Within an hour Tim has been put in one if their Anti Germ Bubbles for the Immuno Compromised. Oh the bright side he 100% has a room all to himself! Tim wakes up in the bubble, very confused with House looming over him. Tim is Baffled and says, "who send you? What info are you after?" And House just says, "im your doctor. What's your name so we can stop calling you John Doe The Spleenless Wonder."

Tim and House verbally joust almost constantly for Tim's entire stay and honestly? Most relaxed he's been in *years*. However it takes *days* for them to pry him name out of him and it's not even *from* him. Someone saw his face on a magazine in the grocery store check out and went "that's out John Doe!!" And when Tim tells them that he is Tim Drake he simply says, "I didn't tell you for a very simple reason. If word got out it was The Tim Drake in your hospital, which is outside Gothem, could you imagine the Paparazzi? And what would happen? I can garentee you at least one person would show up trying to kill me. Why do you think I was outside gothem beat up? Assassins, obviously." House's boss is terrified this guy is gunna sue them into the ground for how House has been jabbing at him constantly.

House simply asks why his bones look like Swiss Cheese and Tim simply raises an eyebrow at him and says, "I live in Gothem."

Later on after Tim gets released, he buys the entire hospital, becomes its new boss, goes to House's boss who actually runs the hospital and says, "I do not care about running this hospital. It's all up to you, I want No Power here. I am simply here to triple your budget, no quadruple it. And you remain completely in power on one condition. I want House to be my Primary Doctor. He's fun."

Oh and if you want some Angst, House asking if Tim wants to call someone to pick him up and Tim says, "oh, I have a tracker on me. Someone will show up to check me out once they notice I'm missing." House squinting at him and says, "you've been here two weeks. So I don't believe you." But Tim is telling the truth. His tracker has said he's been at an out of city hospital for weeks and no one really noticed he was even gone.

Fuck yeah. I've seen some clips of House and, despite the large amounts of medical malpractice they should be sued for, Tim would absolutely enjoy House's banter.

Also, I'd so live for House and Tim trying to trick each other. Tim realizes quickly that House doesn't believe a word about what Tim says about how he got his injuries. House keeps trying to pull one over on Tim so that Tim actually receives medical treatment (especially because Tim keeps going back out on field with injuries). It becomes a somewhat friendly game

Fair warning, I'm probably about to butcher House's character. Idk enough about him, but here's what I think. Tim would prefer House as his main doctor for two reasons:

How House cares

House isn't Batman/Bat affiliated

For the first point, House does care but not in the way most others do. I think Tim will eventually start telling House the truth about how he gets his injuries because of how House reacts. House isn't going to be overly sympathetic, pity Tim, or try to mother hen him. Tim will stroll up, say he's been held without food for a week and has 3 broken bones, and House will just banter with Tim.

If Tim's being an idiot (like not resting), House won't try to tell him off. He won't yell or undermine Tim. He'll just point blank tell Tim he deserves whatever injury he got for being an idiot while helping the vigilante treat it.

Tim will never admit to being a cape, but he eventually trusts House enough not to hide it.

Then there's House not being a Bat doctor. Leslie may or may not inform Bruce of any injuries Tim gets that Leslie deems is important for Bruce to know about. Alfred for sure won't hide that shit. Either way, whether founded or not, Tim can't trust those doctors to give away his information "for his own good."

House probably wouldn't go out of his way to inform Bruce (especially if we add on your angst angle).

Probably fucked up House's characterization, but let me know what ya think! Feel free to send another ask or reblog or whatever with changes ya think I need to add

[cl0wnbytez]

Hlvrai but it’s marine creatures I think they’d be with an unnecessary amount of explanation

Basically an autistic dude rambles about what fish these guys would be with very specific reasonings. I’m a lot more certain on some more than others, some are just “yeah he’d be this lol” and others are a paragraph of explanation based on very specific behavior(s) of the creature.

Gordon

Clownfish

Now I don’t really know how to explain this one besides color lol, I suppose the common aggression they exhibit can be compared to him in a way, besides that just look at him that man is a clownfish

Benrey

Broadclub Cuttlefish

Okay for Benrey I had quite a few creatures in mind but I ultimately settled on the broadclub cuttlefish. Their mischievous nature for one can automatically be seen in Benreys character, but that is not the main reason I chose them. The main reason I settled on cuttlefish(and more specifically the broadclub cuttlefish) for Benrey is because of a specific behavior seen in the gif above. Broadclub cuttlefish will ‘hypnotize’ their prey into calming down and staying still. I mean if I didn’t compare this to Sweet Voice no one was going to. Also Benrey could be pretty much any fucked up deep sea creature, or if you wanna be really basic, a shark lmao.

Dr. Coomer

Mantis Shrimp

This one speaks for itself, I’m not even the first one to say this that’s how obvious it is. On top of being the sea creature he would be, I think mantis shrimp would also be Coomers favorite animal(at least when it comes to marine life). Once again I am definitely not the first one to say this.

Bubby

Blue Ribbon Eel

Honestly this is the one I have the least explanation for, they’re opportunistic hunters I guess. I really wish I had more to say for Bubby because he’s one of the most overlooked characters in the fandom in my opinion. But alas, he is eel coded to me, and he is blue, thus, blue ribbon eel.

Tommy

Yellow Stingray

Couldn’t find a gif for this one :(

Not only are these silly guys yellow, they are known for their kind, curious, and playful temperament, but they will not hesitate to sting when they feel threatened. Very Tommy. I also picked a ray specifically for reasons you’ll see in a moment, just keep reading. ;3

Forzen

Porbeagle Shark

Couldn’t find a gif or even a good picture for this one so fuck it, porbeagle side eye

I have the stupidest explanation for this one. Forzen is shark and dog coded, porbeagles are known for their playfulness and dog-like hunting style. Porbeagle Forzen.

Darnold

Parrot Fish

I’ll have a gif for the last one I promise

I know all of these have brought up behaviors of the animal for reasons why I associate them with that specific character, but this one is specifically for aesthetic reasons. I associate Darnold with colorful stuff because potions and parrotfish are underrated just like him leave me alone.

Gman

Manta Ray

I told you Tommy was a ray for a reason. Anyways, I mainly associate hlvrai Gman with manta rays because of his menacing aura despite him being much less of a threat and practically harmless by the end of the series(so far). Yes I know he threatened Gordon but literally everyone has so shut up, he mainly just told Gordon “take care of my son lol” and brought everyone to Chucky Cheese at the end. But basically yeah manta rays are menacing but harmless, they also just generally have Gmans shadowy vibe.

Idk how to end this bye

[multiheadcanons]

MERCS AND BIRTHDAYS

scout: june 28th, 11:15AM. cancer. big birthday guy. likes and expects a full showing of appreciation for the entire month that he is the birthday boy. forgets half the time that he shares the month with snipes, and it kind of annoys him that he has to share his birthday month with snipes, so he celebrates snipe’s birth month in may so he can have the month of june to himself. this has literally never worked. but the team will indulge him come the second. likes to pregame at the base and then barhop in town. birthday meal of choice is chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes, no gravy and two fluffernutters a la mode, drizzled in caramel. a decadent dessert for the birthday boy.

soldier: july 3rd, 11:59PM. cancer. if he didn’t love his mother so much, he would hate her. she couldn’t hold him in for one more minute? just one? come ON, MOM. he was SO. CLOSE. to having the BEST BIRTHDAY IN THE WORLD. he is always the first person to fire off a firework for the fourth of july, and if anyone shoots off a firework before july 3rd, 11:59PM he will find and rob them bloody and blind. the team came to the decision to only tell soldier (and america) happy birthday at the same time, since he seems to take independence day much more seriously than his own birthday. he has corrected them before, and they have insisted so hard that he didn’t know his own birthday that he let himself believe it. he doesn’t even remember why he doesn’t like july third. so now he just robs people of their fireworks that day. soldier gets the best cuts of steak for his birthday, the coldest beer, and is always served first.

pyro: november 13th, 10:10PM. scorpio. pyro doesn’t want to hear happy birthday until 10:10PM, because that was when they were born. until then, it’s not their birthday! the next day, the whole team is going to chuck e. cheese. pyro will point at one of the items on the very top shelf, that costs fifty million tickets, and the team has two hours of unlimited play to get the amount of tickets needed to get that for their birthday. the team has found their own ways to do this, and they have never failed their objective. pyro will greatly enjoy the pizza and ice cream for their birthday, but if engie insists on cooking them a dinner on their actual birthday, they ask for rice and red beans. not canned beans, the kind that take all day to cook. the texan now knows that when pyro’s birthday is coming up he needs to start on the beans the day prior so they’re ready in time for dinner.

demo: october 12th, 9:41AM. libra. demo wants the day off. let him drink and sleep. he doesn’t want anything more than that. but the team will celebrate him anyway, because they know if he’s the only teammate that doesn’t get a party of some sort then he’s gonna be hurt by that; and they love tavish. love him enough to make him the booziest, gooiest rum cake with a scrumpy ganache potent enough to kill three elephants in an hour. and he gets the whole thing. nobody will even ask for a slice. but they’ll all stop by on his day off and tell him happy birthday. he’ll convince the entire team to “strike” for the day. it’s his birthday command, nobody will do anything for the entire 24 hours. as a matter of fact you will be banished to the battlefield if you dress up. dress in your nastiest clothes and go to bed.

heavy: august 18th, 2:37AM. he’s just a leo to me idk that’s my big guy and he gets whatever he wants for his birthday. and it changes every year. one year he demands nothing but a clean sweep on the battlefield. death is not an option. failure is not an option. give him everything you’ve got or catch his wrath. another year he just… disappears. comes up missing for a week or two. another year he wants to go on a hot air balloon ride and he wants the team with him; everyone on the same balloon. he’s never been on one before. another year he just locks the door to his room and reads. normally he is not very present for engie to make him anything that he could make confidently, so he defaults to chicken and dumplings and makes sure he has a hearty helping when he’s ready for it.

engineer: april 5th, 4:53PM. aries. oh it’s really party time. engineer learned if he wanted a party he liked he had to throw it himself, and everyone across both teams get an invite. whether they show up or not is on them, but he knows his team will be there. the blu sniper will always show up, and the blu engineer will always show up. it’s technically his birthday too, and he didn’t even have to plan the party. nobody has verbalized any issues with this, so that’s all fine, as far as engineer was concerned. the itinerary is as follows: everyone takes the day off. nobody on either team is to work. arrive in two outfits layered on top of each other. pregame from 9AM to 11AM. nobody except the designated drivers should be leaving there sober. depending on attendance, they will take up to three company vans to this bar about five hours out. ideally you arrive exactly at 4:30. park around the corner, ensure lack of cameras, get dinner, pregame again. hard. don’t worry about the drive, the restaurant engie chose is a walk away. dine and dash, be out by 5:43. move quickly, they’re racing the police force now. go to the bar. at this point he will loudly yell “it’s my birthday!” to an absolutely empty bar. somehow this will sway the bartender to give drinks on the house. get shitfaced. designated drivers are now lookout, so preferably a sniper and a scout. people who can get to the car quickly to get them out when the time comes. when the police sound to be three blocks away (scout knows what that sounds like) lay on the horn until everyone is in the car. head count. catch the stragglers. lead officers in a high speed chase on two separate highways. eliminate threats. get home unharmed. it’s fun for everyone but the designated drivers.

medic: february 15th, 12:02AM. aquarius. cupid missed him by two minutes and now the man dissects the things he loves. he shared his birthday with his father, so the doctor will normally just go home for it. he’ll be back on the 18th. he likes to spend it with his mother. they go have dinner, they drink, they catch up, they shop a little, he tells her about the team. and his mother is happy to spend it with him! she loves her little boy, and it doesn’t matter that his kill count is easily in the hundreds and he’s been a grown ass man for at least three decades, that’s her little baby boy and she will never say no to celebrating his birthday with him. they have a good time. she makes him a red velvet cake and they go to town on it. the absolute sloppiest you will ever see this man is on his birthday. guaranteed one fist fight if they go out for drinks.

sniper: june 1st, 5:53PM. gemini. he’s not used to it being hot during his birthday. chronic middle child. once scout registers that june is around the corner snipes will essentially get shafted when it comes to a birthday plan. but the team won’t let him forget it too much. he always finds it odd that they’re asking him what he wants to do that day until he checks the date. then he remembers “oh, right! it’s my birthday! i’m gonna take the day off”. engie brings him some pot brownies and he spends the day baking in his van. if he’s feeling social he’ll convince everyone to go to the lake with him.

spy: september 19th; 3:37AM. he’s a virgo because i said so. the team will buy him a bottle of wine and he sits in his smoking room with the door locked. nobody knows what he does in there on his birthday, just that sometimes they can hear his laughter past the door. so whatever he does, he’s certainly enjoying himself. takes it upon himself to cook the team dinner that night. salmon, asparagus, and gnocchi. nobody is allowed to help. makes an espresso martini with a small scoop of vanilla bean ice cream for dessert. goes to bed happy and tipsy, wakes up hungover the next day.

[sreppub]

Restaurant owners/chefs/waitstaff AU.

The Robins in their cute waiter uniforms, Bruce the manager/owner trying to herd them, the Batgirls as the chefs lol

Green Arrow as a Definitely Not A Knock Off version of the Batcave(?), but THEIR menu is all organic and vegan (it’s GREEN, get it??) versions of what Bruce’s restaurant offers

The Batcave(?) was a high end dining establishment that is more of a family restaurant these days? Or it’s super fancy still and the all Robins leave to open a less strict establishment aka: Dick is the one that owns Nite-Wing (the wing shop the silly character that Nite-Wing takes his name from lol), Tim opens a coffee shop, etc

The Iron Fam has the Chuck Cheese style entertainment&arcade “restaurant” that also has laser tag and their animatronics are just robots lol.

The Super’s have a farm->table BBQ stall at the farmer’s market

The Flash has a food truck? Or they are the deliver guys?

Green Lanterns are the food inspectors

The Wonders have a Themyscira Food place. It’s very classy but cozy place

Who has the local pizza place?

The villains have like, Chik-à-fila

The Teen Titans all quite their parent’s restaurants and run the local Mall food court for a summer

You sent this super quickly after I said I wanted new AUs and I am so impressed anon. Did you just have this ready?!! Thank you!!!

Anyways I love it! I love wings and I would go to Nite-Wing all the time lol. And maybe also to see the cute dog and hot wings guy. I think it’s a tiny place with stupid bright colours and like 2 bar seats. (I hate it. I would hate this place) I know, coloured floor grout is futile, AND the black through-colour ACT, who ARE we??? Well, the reno was bankrolled by Bruce, so that’s who we are. The drinks fridge wasn’t even secondhand, that’s who we are. Also, Dick had Damian paint a wall mural, not pictured because I didnt wanna draw it lol

I know what you’re thinking. There’s a second street entrance/back of house corridor behind the pink wall, and the front counter is ADA compliant. I’m not an animal.

Secondly, I would love if the Waynes used one of their properties, a townhouse in the city, and converted it into a restaurant inspired by Alfred’s cooking 🥹 Classy, but has gotten homier and cozier over time. The kids multiply, and their friends hang out there and suddenly adults and young people hang out here…. This kind of thing! Two floors for the restaurant and an event space/gallery, and then lofts up top. 3-4 storeys, in my mind. They probably own the block.

Wouldn’t be crazy for Green Arrow to buy a property across the street 🤣

Idk if I’d have Tim running a cafe day-to-day… He does do a pop-up for their gallery events. Maybe he’s on the business side. If you’ve ever seen Chef, I’m thinking of RDJ’s character giving Casper a loan and the food truck…

Not to say he’s too good for food service. The YJ98 crew definitely hop around their families restaurants at will, for fun and enrichment.

IRONFAM PIZZA-ARCADE IS AMAZING AND I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FURTHER. you really oughta take the credit for this, anon, before I go off the rails and people start thinking I’M smart or something 😂 A robot-garage-themed restaurant sounds rad as HECK. Dum-E serving food would be a show in itself.

Farmer’s market stalls, my beloved.

They’re all going to live in one big terrible amalgamated city/group of cities and Gotham/Metro/Star/etc are neighbourhoods/cities within it. Oh damn.

[sammonroesangel]

Author's Note: AHHHH! I can't believe I'm releasing my first ever fic/headcannon/idk. This isn't the greatest, I kind of wrote it in a short time frame, BUT I hope you guys enjoy it! 🥹

You had been feeling sick for a few days now- massive headaches, exhaustion that left you wanting to nap every hour, and food aversions, especially to Hayden’s famous blueberry pie (which you used to love). So, like any normal woman whose sex life consisted of making love at like 5 times a week (mainly unprotected recently), you decided to order a few pregnancy tests on Amazon. You told Hayden right away because, let’s be honest, he was the practical one in this situation. He suggested ordering the tests online to avoid awkward run-ins with nosy neighbors or paparazzi. Living on a secluded farm had its perks, but shipping times weren’t one of them. It took a week for the tests to arrive, during which your suspicions grew stronger thanks to the morning sickness that hit you like clockwork every day. When the package finally arrived, he trudged through the fresh snow, retrieved it, and brought it straight to you. "Here you go, sweetheart," he said with a soft smile, though you could tell he was holding back his own nervous excitement. You grabbed a test and ran to the bathroom. Hayden paced outside the door, trying to play it cool but failing miserably. When the result showed positive, you walked out, teary-eyed and smiling, and showed him the test. His face lit up as he hugged you tightly, kissing your forehead. "We're having a baby," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. From that moment on, he was completely in dad mode.

================================================

Pregnancy brought out a whole new side of Hayden. He flat-out banned you from cooking. "You’re growing a whole human. The least I can do is handle dinner," he’d say, gently nudging you away from the kitchen. And it wasn’t just meals—Hayden insisted on taking over most of the chores, leaving you to rest and focus on the baby.

When it came to cravings, Hayden was an absolute champion. Wake up at 2 AM wanting cheese pizza and chocolate-covered pickles? No problem—he was on it without a second thought, even if it meant a midnight run into town. If you craved something else while he was already making dinner, he’d simply adjust. "Don't worry about it," he’d say, kissing your temple. "I’ll save this for later and make whatever you want."

================================================

Hayden quickly learned that pregnancy mood swings were no joke. One minute, you’d be laughing at something silly he said, and the next, you’d be crying because he was burnt to a fucking crisp in a movie he was in 20 years ago. One evening, you were in the kitchen crying over a broken cookie. “It was perfect,” you sniffled, holding up the two halves like they were shattered glass. Hayden walked in, took one look at the situation, and gently plucked the cookie from your hands.

“Sweetheart, it’s still going to taste the same,” he said softly, taking a bite and offering you the other half. You glared at him through your tears but took the piece anyway, pouting.

“It’s not about the cookie,” you mumbled, and he nodded, letting you vent about how everything felt overwhelming lately. He didn’t try to fix it; he just listened, rubbing soothing circles on your back until you calmed down.

Another time, you got unreasonably mad at him for finishing the last of the orange juice, even though he didn’t realize you wanted it. “You’re supposed to know these things!” you exclaimed, crossing your arms. Instead of arguing, Hayden raised his hands in surrender. “You’re right. I should’ve asked before drinking it. I’ll go get more right now.”

You felt guilty the moment the words left your mouth and tried to stop him, but Hayden just kissed your forehead. “It’s okay. I’ll be back in ten minutes,” he said, grabbing his coat. True to his word, he returned with not one but three cartons of orange juice. “Just in case,” he teased, earning a laugh from you despite yourself. Hayden also became an expert at reading your moods. If you seemed cranky, he’d quietly bring you a snack or run you a bath. If you were teary-eyed, he’d snuggle up with you on the couch and let you cry into his chest while he stroked your hair. He never made you feel bad for the rollercoaster of emotions—you were carrying his baby, after all.

“Your body’s doing something incredible,” he told you one night after a particularly emotional day. “I’ll take a few mood swings over what you’re going through any day.”

================================================As your pregnancy progressed and your body continued to change, it wasn’t always easy to feel confident. There were moments when you’d catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and struggle to recognize the reflection staring back. The swollen ankles, the stretch marks, the way your clothes no longer fit quite right—it all felt overwhelming at times.

One evening, after a long day, you stood in front of the bathroom mirror, examining the curve of your belly and the way your favorite dress stretched tightly across your body. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as the insecurities crept in. Hayden found you like that, staring silently at your reflection, and he instantly knew something was wrong.

“Hey,” he said softly, stepping into the room. “What’s going on?”

You hesitated, trying to brush it off, but the lump in your throat made it hard to speak. Finally, you mumbled, “I just… I don’t feel like myself anymore. I feel huge and uncomfortable, and I don’t even look good in anything anymore.”

Hayden’s expression softened as he moved closer, wrapping his arms gently around you from behind. He rested his chin on your shoulder, looking at your reflection in the mirror with you. “Sweetheart, you’re growing our baby,” he said, his voice full of awe and love. “You’re doing something so amazing, and I wish you could see how beautiful you are to me.”

You sniffled, leaning into his embrace. “I don’t feel beautiful.”

He turned you around to face him, cupping your cheeks in his hands. “Then let me remind you,” he said firmly but lovingly. “I see the woman I fell in love with, the one who’s giving me the greatest gift I could ever imagine. Your body is changing because it’s creating a little life—a life we made together. That’s incredible.”

He kissed your forehead, then each cheek, and finally your lips, as if sealing his words with his touch. “I know it’s hard to see it right now, but you’re absolutely breathtaking to me. Every curve, every stretch mark, every little change—it’s all a part of this journey, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”

His words melted some of your self-doubt, and you found yourself smiling softly. “You always know what to say,” you whispered, resting your hands on his chest.

“That’s because I mean every word,” he replied, pulling you closer. “And if you ever feel this way again, you just come to me, okay? I’ll remind you as many times as you need.”

That night, as you lay in bed, Hayden pulled you close, wrapping his arms protectively around you. His hand rested gently on your belly, where your baby was nestled safe and sound. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your back was calming, grounding you in his love and reassurance.

“I love you,” he murmured into your hair. “I love everything about you—your strength, your heart, your laugh, and yes, even the way you’ve been stealing my pillows lately.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, your insecurities slowly melting away in the warmth of his embrace. “It’s not stealing if I need them,” you teased, feeling lighter than you had in days.

“Fair point,” he chuckled. “Anything you need, you can have. Always.”

As he continued to hold you, Hayden started humming a soft melody—one you recognized as a song he often played on the piano. The sound wrapped around you like a blanket, soothing and full of love. You smiled, closing your eyes, feeling a tiny flutter from your belly as if the baby wanted to join in.

“See?” Hayden whispered, his voice filled with awe. “Even they know how amazing you are.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, but this time they weren’t from sadness. They were tears of gratitude, of love, of feeling completely cherished by the man who was not only your partner but your greatest source of strength.

In that moment, you realized something important: no matter how much your body changed, no matter how many ups and downs you faced during this journey, you had Hayden by your side—your anchor, your cheerleader, and the person who would always remind you just how much you were loved.

As sleep began to take over, you whispered back, “I love you, too. More than anything.”

And with that, surrounded by Hayden’s love and the gentle promise of the life you were building together, you drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the beautiful family waiting for you both just around the corner.

THE END

================================================OH MY GODDD AHHH YOU MADE IT TO THE END!

[raointean]

Funniest responses* to the "What does "Blorbo" mean?" question

(In reference to my silmarillion fandom linguistics project, the results of which you can find in my "survey says" tag)

*not necessarily the full response, some are just fragments from longer responses. Also, I'm not filtering by "correct" or "incorrect" responses

Special Little Guy (gender neutral)

Lmao. That's like, my special little guy. He takes up my brain space. I'm rotating him.

you know how lilo from lilo and stitch has that doll she made, complete with backstory? basically like that

one's blorbo is a character one cares a lot about. it kind of has like... condescending or woobifying connotations? like expressing that Maedhros is your blorbo is sort of uh... one imagines like, a chibi Maedhros. cute, not scary. but it doesn't necessarily imply the speaker has distorted perception of the character in general, just a sort of fondness

The character a person wants to use as a doll/stuffed animal

A character who the author loves too much (and knows it)

"OMG Blorbo was in the new trailer for 5 seconds!" is a common statement

which often provokes... strange thoughts at 11pm.

Beloved character who you think about entirely too much and also enjoy putting in Situations

It implies some degress of being pathetic as well.

No relation to Blorbo Baggins.

The character you put under a microscope, put through the cheese grater, put into the salad spinner, and squeeze like a plushie.

A beloved character whom you want to both stick in a microwave and protect with all you have

character one fangirls* over (*gender neutral)

Just a little guy, whom I am deeply enamored of and just want to squish on the head and see what happens.

Favourive character, often pathetic, someone to pity as much as love

obsessed. baby. Will run my mouth off about them

the word "favorite" wasn't enough to encapsulate "the exact kind of character made specifically for me in the lab" either. my friendgroup started calling those types of characters "callouts" because they were calling you out by existing Exactly To Your Tastes

(not necessarily in a way that condones their actions, but deeply beloved nonetheless)

The "cinnamon roll" kind. Idk I love Namo but I'd never call him a blorbo, it just wouldn't feel right.

??

dear?

My personal favourite character, whom I want to adopt even if he's a dark lord

A particularly beloved (or beloathed-in-a-positive-way) character.

Generally seem to be problematic favs.

I think it was originally meant to be somewhat mocking, but it was wholeheartedly adopted and is now used unironically.

A favored character that usually is subjected to great amounts of trauma and or fluff.

A favourite character, usually male

The obsession character

Feanor/character you are unreasonably attached to esp. if they are a Bad Person TM

The character who is most special and beloved to you (and often that means you're gonna put them through The Horrors)

a character that makes you chew on the bars of your enclosure

Special little character from my shows(tm)

usually having an aura of kicked wet puppy (brimby)

You'd build a shrine to them

Idk, ask the children 😹. Er. Hot character you like? I'm sure people have very complex definitions explaining why they like the hot character but I don't take fandom that seriously.

Your guy (gender neutral), not a comfort character, but perhaps a character you would like to see experience the worst situations possible (affectionate)

occasionally blorbo from my floor (my cat)

Just a widdle pathetic guy 🥺😈

A favourite character, thuogh usually one you squash like a stress ball or squeaky toy rather than put gently on a shelf

Ungoliant

Guy (gender neutral) who I hold in my hand like a neat rock and look at

character whom i will put in a glass and shake

character you are putting in the metaphorical salad spinner

A favourite character, often a war criminal treated like they did nothing wrong, they are a little kitty

(character you're particularly attached to and usually put in physically and/or mentally torturous situations for fun)

A character you’ve imprinted on and like seeing in misery. They’re your wet cat you enjoy pouring water on but also toweling off

Your favorite character, to whom no harm may come (except in the service of angst)

my guy. my friend my buddy. the person

Literally your favourite ever character, but not like you want to f*ck them, more like "how much can i let them suffer?"

Your favouritest character from media that you like to put in all kinds of situations, but is not morally problematic.

favourite character you want to bully

a fictional character that you like to an obsessive amount, typically more than other favourite characters; your specialist little guy; someone you are unwell about; you don’t always have to like your blorbo per day but they must take up constant thought space

[kn-1013]

see, i like the travis age regressor headcannon a lot, but people turn sal way too much into the world's most perfect caregiver, when i know damn well that guy can barely take care of himself, and would probably be taking care of travis to distract himself from his own problems. on top of that, due to the considerable amount of neglect that henry gave him particularly before nockfell, there's probably a significant amount of things that sal can technically do, but he's doing them wrong because nobody was there to teach him how to do them.

for example, things like: using too much detergent in the washing machine or washing whites with colors, throwing pizzas into the oven directly onto the pizza rack instead of on something more stable, chopping vegetables incorrectly or unsafely, using dish soap instead of shampoo, using metal mixing bowls or oven pans on the stove instead of proper pots and pans if none of the dishes are clean, even reusing somewhat dirty dishes at times, repairing clothes with incredibly janky sewing, wearing dirty clothes repeatedly, not taking proper care of cuts/bruises because he doesn't really know how, etc.

i think it'd provide a really interesting dynamic for the two of them if travis did know how to do these things properly, because despite his father being abusive, he still needs his kids to know how to take care of themselves somewhat. they all know how to cook, how to sew, how to operate the washing machine properly, how to take care of cuts/bruises, etc. this is not only more realistic to sal's life experiences and realistic to travis's probable experiences, it also provides a much more give and take kind of relationship between the two, where travis has to help sal take care of himself properly just as much as sal is taking care of him when he needs to regress.

it's also really funny to imagine travis deep in the throes of age regression, but immediately snaps the fuck out of it when he sees sal using a metal mixing bowl to make them both mac n cheese for lunch and he has to ask his babysitter what the actual fuck he's doing, or travis feeling a bit disconcerted at the fact that the fishers are currently using dish soap to wash themselves. ("so THAT'S why his hair is that weird texture...")

idk some food for thought on the travis agere headcannon.

[burningcheese-merchant]

If the Beasts/Ancients had signature pokémon (or were pokémon themselves) what do you think they would be? I just know White Lily needs to be a fairy type

Do you have the slightest idea how happy I am to have gotten this ask

Time to flex my encyclopedic knowledge + almost 20 years of playing Pokémon

(Note: gonna stick to just assigning types to them, if that's ok)

A N C I E N T S

Pure Vanilla as a Pokemon: Normal/Psychic (thought of Normal/Fairy, but I thought Psychic may suit him better bc of his magic + the Light of Truth + the association with intelligence/knowledge the Psychic type has always had)

Pure Vanilla as a trainer: The very first Pokemon that came to my mind was Audino. Something about Vanilla says he'd be an Audino guy. I'm not even sure what it is, Blissey would probably be slightly more fitting, but I keep imagining him being besties with an Audino and it's adorable to me

Hollyberry as a Pokemon: Normal/Fighting, I think (or perhaps Fairy/Fighting, because of Fairy's power over and invulnerability towards Dragon)

Hollyberry as a trainer: Hmm... Bastiodon kind of feels like the easy way out tbh. Tinkaton would be funny (but suits Princess a lot better imo). Chesnaught reflects her fighting style and personality pretty well... Chesnaught it is

Dark Cacao as a Pokemon: Dark/Fighting for sure (I considered Dark/Ice as well, but I just can't ignore the Fighting type for him. I feel like I'd be committing a crime if I did. Also, I don't think he's actually from the Great Icing Ridge? It's not super clear, but Might of the Ancients made it seem like he was a traveler from somewhere else. That could perhaps be used as justification for shelving the Ice type for him. (Also also you don't NEED to be Ice-type to live in cold places, plenty of other types seen in snowy biomes in Pokemon)

Dark Cacao as a trainer: Man would be rocking a Kingambit, change my mind

Golden Cheese as a Pokemon: Ground/Flying, duh. (Or maybe Rock/Flying? Ground seems better idk)

Golden Cheese as a trainer: It's hard. There are so many Pokemon that would suit her imo. Sableye. Diancie. Persian (Kantonian or Alolan, doesn't matter). Unfezant (female, the Pokedex repeatedly lists them as superior fliers). But... keeping with the lore of both CRK and Pokemon... I think, after she wakes up and reenters the world, all Golden should have is the one Sigilyph left in the entire desert, who chose to be loyal to her and the kingdom to the very end and beyond

Just want to note that Golden Cheese would be besties with Olivia and you cannot change my mind on that

White Lily as a Pokemon: Grass/Fairy with some Dark-type moves available in her movepool as a nod to her being Dark Enchantress, change my mind

White Lily as a trainer: FLORGES! WHITE FLOWER FORM! RAAAAHHHHHHH

B E A S T S

Shadow Milk as a Pokemon: Dark/Psychic, duh

Shadow Milk as a trainer: this one is tough tbh. Malamar? Banette? Zoroark (Unovan)? Probably Malamar due to its natural malevolence and hypnotism powers tbh (but the other two are so compelling... why did I limit myself to an ace for each of them...). Also, I think he would've had a Slowking as a hero

Eternal Sugar as a Pokemon: leaning towards Fairy/Poison, latter because I've already been imagining her as a succubus of some sort and Poison suits that better (yes I know she has wings, Flying is a basic bitch answer and not all winged Pokemon are classified as Flying-types)

Eternal Sugar as a trainer: Komala is right there... but so is Musharna :/ (lots of "dream eater" Pokemon would suit her probably. Which is funny bc most of those are Ghost-types lol)

Mystic Flour as a Pokemon: Psychic at the very least. Not sure about a second type though... (or just make her Mewtwo from the anime/movies, they've got the same genocidal emo attitude lol)

Mystic Flour as a trainer: Girlie gets an Espeon, the end. (Maybe she knew Jirachi once upon a time)

Burning Spice as a Pokemon: Fire/Fighting (thought of Fire/Dark too, but... same deal as with Cacao, if I didn't add Fighting I'd probably go to jail)

Burning Spice as a trainer: Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar Incineroar- (he'd suck ass as a trainer though, just because I know he'd treat his Pokemon terribly, the same way he mistreats the Wild Spices...)

Silent Salt as a Pokemon: Dark/Steel. Like. Come on lol

Silent Salt as a trainer: Something else that would land me in prison is not giving Salt an Aegislash lol. Or maybe a Bisharp. And a Corviknight. (Perhaps he would have met Cobalion while he was still a hero)

I'M STARTING TO IMAGINE A POKEMON AU NOW. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME. I'VE GOT, LIKE, EIGHT OTHER AUs I'M JUGGLING IN MY HEAD ALREADY. NOW I WANT TO MAKE UP ANGST FOR GOLDIE AND THAT SIGILYPH. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

(you can atone for your sins by asking me for full teams for each of these good-for-nothing short stacks)

[orchidsangel]

I BET ON LOSING (CHILI) DOGS [JASON TODD]

notes/cw - fluff, suggestive, wrote this bc jason canonically likes chili dogs, also mitski mother i am so sorry this is not at all what you had in mind when you wrote 'i bet on losing dogs', (pacing might be shit idk sorry guys, working on it i swear)

“I’m not eating it.” You say, as your boyfriend reaches over the console, and hands you the paper bag containing your lunch before sliding into the driver's seat of the car and closing the door behind him. 

“Could you just not be stubborn for a second? Like seriously, it’s a chili dog.” 

He takes the bag out of your hand, and removes its contents, placing them carefully on the dashboard and discarding the bag.

The inside of the vehicle now smells like fast food, and you grab a couple of fries, stuffing them into your mouth before continuing on with your justification.

“I’m not being stubborn. I’m setting a boundary!” You exclaim, reaching for more and dipping them in your milkshake. “And besides, I plan on getting full off of these fries.” you say, holding up another couple waving them around before eating them.

You reach for another handful when he grabs the container and moves them over to his side of the car, “can’t get full if there's nothing to eat.”

“Jason…if you don’t-” 

You make a move to grab them, but he just places them further on his side of the dash, “A chili dog babe. A chili dog.” 

“I hate them.” You huff out in frustration, giving up on the fries and leaning back on the headrest, letting out a long groan.

“You’ve never had one.”

“No, but I hate chili and hot dogs so if one plus one equals two…” You grumble, “then it would make absolutely zero sense for me to even try it.”

“Would you just- one bite. Please?” He’s begging at this point, and the look on his face shows just how badly he wants it. “I bet you’ll love it.”

And the little lilt in his voice when he says that breaks down any “boundary” you might’ve had. 

Here’s your big bad crime lord boyfriend practically on his knees over this, pleading for you to just take one bite, and you’re supposed to say no?

“Fine.” 

A grin spreads on his face and he hands you one of the chili dogs he’s holding before grabbing a few napkins and distributing them between the two of you. 

“And if I don’t?” you say, examining the mess of meat, chili, and cheese.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t love it.”

“Then I’ll make it up to you.” He says before taking a bite.

“Make it up how?” 

“If I tell you, you’re gonna lie and say you don’t like it.”

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh?”

“Would you just eat it already?” 

You pick up the chili dog and bring it to your mouth.

“Careful, it’s pretty big.” Jason says from beside you.

“Don’t worry, I’ve had a lot of experience putting big things in my mouth.” You say before biting down.

“Subtle.”

It’s an explosive mix of savory meat and spices, with hints of tangy sweetness. Not at all what you expected and not nearly as bad as you thought. The cheese and the onions on top compliment the flavors and when you’re done chewing you take another bite. 

“Good huh?”

You turn your head towards Jason who’s looking at you with smugness you’ve only ever seen him give Roy on your bi-weekly game nights.

You were enjoying the chili dog, and he knew it. 

Still, you couldn’t let him have that kind of satisfaction. “No, not really.”

“Uh huh.” He says reaching over the console and bringing his thumb to the corner of your mouth, wiping away some sauce that you must’ve missed when you were licking your lips.

You take another bite, and he gives you a look. “What? It’s not like I’m gonna waste it.” You scoff.

“Right.” He says before returning to his own.

And for a few minutes the two of you sit in a comfortable silence, chomping away at your respective meals and occasionally stealing fries from the other.

When you’re done, he takes the empty cardboard container and crumpled napkins from your lap, tossing them into the bag previously thrown to the backseat. 

“So, since I lost the bet…”

You hum happily at his admittance of defeat. 

“...I guess I have to make it up to you now.” he says, leaning over the center of the car.

“Glad you know.”

He closes the space between you and nuzzles his face into your neck. Feeling a warm tingle in your body, you close your eyes and crane your head upwards, allowing him more space as the nuzzling turns into soft open-mouthed kisses.

He nibbles the tender skin as he moves up and towards your ear, “Do you want me to run inside and grab another dog for you?” He whispers between bites, and the question catches you off guard.

“What, why?” You say, confusion lacing your words. 

He draws back a little, a familiar heat radiating off of him, “For later tonight, when I’m done making it up to you.”

[nevermorgue]

Okay but what about modern Amnabel's group food preferences?

cracks knuckles. Alright, let’s get into it.

Annabel Lee - complicated. Annabel likes to have the upper hand in every situation, even in casual afternoon lunch outings. She will adapt to almost anything put in front of her. For example, if she goes to someone’s house and they serve tea and scones, she will claim that they are her favorite. Are they? Who knows. She will play it as if whatever is given is something she enjoys immensely, creating the illusion that the world seems to cater to her- that she got lucky that it was her favorite meal. She does this ALL. THE. TIME. “Oh, they are serving pie. That is one of my favorites.” No it is not. She is just making it seem like it is to create the look that “Wow, how lucky for her. The world seems to love her- they’re serving her favorite food!” You get it? She says it’s her favorite for convenience sake. This is why Prospero brings her so many varied pastries when he can. He’s trying to figure out what she actually likes.

As for what she actually likes: She has a pretty varied palette. She does prefer food that is considered more “common” as it tends to have more flavor, and she absolutely loves American food far more than what she had at home. Is the type of person to eat popcorn one piece at a time, but then resorts to shoving 4-5 pieces in her mouth when she’s invested in whatever she’s doing.

Keeps up appearances by ordering what is expected of her. Teas, light foods with small portions.

- packs snacks throughout her school day like grapes or small cheese cubes. Dainty, barely filling little things.

- She loves spicy foods. Hot curries, salsas, she loooves the burn.

Ada - Also keeps up appearances, but obviously not the same way Annabel does. She will pretend to only like more expensive things, but she honestly thinks such things are too bland. She’s a southern girl used to flavor and savory dishes.

- LOVES cheap frozen dinners. She would rather die than admit this of course. Like think those frozen mac and cheeses you put in the microwave.

- She can and will force herself to eat something she doesn’t like, especially if Annabel/Prospero is eating it.

- Hates squid. Calamari? Yuck.

- She likes to comment on things she eats like she’s doing a shitty food review on Youtube. The only person that listens is Will, but you can’t really tell that he’s even paying attention.

- Loves celery

Prospero - This man has a sweet tooth, but he knows how to keep it tamed. He has a very balanced diet and makes sure to make every lunch or breakfast filling enough to last him through morning classes.

- Salad man. He will put so much shit into a salad. He’ll make days worth of salad and sometimes he and Annabel will just eat the whole thing in between classes.

- His favorite dressing is balsamic vinaigrette.

- Very rarely eats fried foods. Corn dogs are cool and he’s more likely to eat one of those rather than something else fried

- For snacking he always gets the things that are called “thins” or “light”, and he is very strict when it comes to the “no eating three hours before sleeping” rule.

- This man hates cashews

- I HC prospero as a mama’s boy idk i get the vibe. He grew up having homemade pasta and refuses to eat it if the restaurant isn’t like locally Italian.

Montresor - Big on steak. Big on potatoes. Big on veggies when they’re roasted or oven baked or anything where they’re mixed up and peppered and cooked. Dude will eat a raw carrot for fun though

- crunches loudly on chips. he does it on purpose.

- has a surprisingly shitty spice tolerance. It’s not BAD, but his face will get red and he tries to play it off.

- Likes messy finger foods like ribs

- Licorice kind of guy. specifically red.

- Prefers green apples over red ones

- really likes blue cheese, especially for his wings

- cannot STAND marzipan anything

Will - Peaches peaches peaches peaches pea-

- Prefers simpler foods. Basic ham and cheese sandwiches, a bag of chips…normal and boring.

- gets overwhelmed when served anything more complicated than what you’d get at an Applebees. He doesn’t really think he nor his body are suited to eat such things. They’re TOO delicious and he isn’t worth it.

- He loves cheesecake brownies. He’s literally only had them twice in his life but he would go insane if he ever saw any for sale anywhere

- The drinks he gets at coffee shops are considered “girly” to Montresor, so he only buys them when he’s alone. Like fruity refreshers and stuff.

- He would like a lot more food if he actively attempted to try new things, he just has no desire to treat himself.

- eats wheat thins for fun

- Only eats 1 singular fruit for breakfast or just skips it all together.

- would probably start crying if he ate a soup. it’s warm and filling and it makes him feel like a waste of space. the warmth settling in his stomach reminds him that he’s real and he hates it.

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

what happened in switzerland?

mick schumacher x singer!f!reader

fc: gracie abrams bc i have no self control

britishvogue posted...

liked by ynofficial, alexachung and 231,926 others

britishvogue: Singer y/n l/n recently attended a music festival in Australia after her break from social media and the public eye. In an interview conducted by a fan, she explained how she was excited to see what the future has in store and is looking forward to releasing new music after an inspiring trip to Switzerland this Winter.

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fan1: FINALLY MOTHER HAS RETURNED

fan2: get this woman a grammy immediately

fan3: pls she's so cute 😭

fan4: at this point i genuinely think i'm in love with her

fan5: this is amazing and all but i'm wondering why switzerland?

fan6: switzerland is actually very beautiful so it makes sense that she was inspired when she visited

fan7: fr like switzerland in the winter???? cold but GORGEOUS

liked by alyahcs, alexachung and 791,193 others

ynofficial: i feel like it'd be weird to ignore the fact that i kind of went offline for about a year and a half (and i only just found out that virtually nobody had seen me either) so i'm letting you guys know that i'm alive, well, happy, and writing again - and i'm so excited to announce that a new single, 'happy endings', will be released at midnight tonight!

also, have some (2) pictures from the last 18 months, photographed in my new happy place 🥰

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fan8: YOU LOOK SO HAPPY IM SO EXCITED

fan9: happy endings will either destroy my mental health or leave me a sobbing mess on the bathroom floor (wrong, it'll do both)

fan10: switzerland is officially on my bucket list of countries to visit

ynofficial: good girl👍👍👍👍

fan10: imdead 🧎🧎

fan11: i'm 🫶 so 🫶 proud 🫶 of 🫶 you 🫶

ynofficial: STOP YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH

georgerussell63: looking forward to hearing it!

liked by ynofficial

mickschumacher has posted to their story...

liked by mclaren, lissiemackintosh and 360,184 others

mercedesamgf1: it's official: the boys are all in their 'happy endings' eras! 🥳

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fan12: came for the driving update, left knowing we can stan the merc boys

fan13: AS THEY BLOODY WELL SHOULD BE

fan14: idk bout you but mick is cheesing a little too hard at that question 😏

fan15: i thought that too, but he probably just has a little crush, bless his soul 🥰

fan16: i wasn't convinced but after i saw lewis likes her music, i listened to her recent single and omg it's actually incredible

fan17: is this the same y/n that mick posted about the other day?

fan18: yes!

liked by ynofficial, phildunster and 483,188 others

mercedesamgf1: familiar faces in the garage. fabioquatararo, tomholland2013 and ynofficial are attending the race on behalf of us (by popular demand 😉)

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fan19: i hope the drivers begged them to invite ynofficial 😞

mercedesamgf1: who says they didn't? 🤔

fan20: I BET IT WAS MICK

fan21: GIVE ME A TOM AND Y/N INTERACTION I'M BEGGING YOU

fan22: tom??? fabio is a literal motogp wc 😭

fan23: scraping for crumbs of y/n rn GIVE US EVERYTHING YOU HAVE

mercedesamgf1: 🫡

liked by estebanocon, connor_swindells and 519,312 others

ynofficial: thank you mercedesamgf1, this weekend has been INSANE!!! also, a massive shout out to mickschumacher for being the best tour guide 😁

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fan24: ok panic over *mops up forehead* 😌

fan25: aw i was kinda hoping they were dating, they'd be cute together 🥲

fan26: this^

fan27: the way they both looked like they were having fun 😊

fan28: PLS HIS FACE IT'S TOO CUTE AHHSDJF

fan29: omg she did a hot lap BABE WHO WAS THE DRIVER

ynofficial: mickshumacher!

fan30: oh. my. god.

mercedesamgf1: content coming soon 😉

fan31: i'm dying someone send helllllpppppp

fan32: why am i fighting the urge to squeal after that merc comment

fan33: no bc same that emoji defo implies something

mickshumacher: had an awesome time with you this weekend ☺️

liked by ynofficial

fan34: shooting his shot

fan35: yk what, i'd probably do the same

liked by landonorris, stephbohrer and 591,374 others

mickschumacher: austria 😁

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fan36: hmm yeah they're probably dating let's be honest

fan37: but he was only her tour guide and it's kind of natural that he'd get photos of her, esp considering she was invited as a merc guest?

fan38: true but when has mick ever done that before?

fan37: i'm just saying, the last thing we want to do is assume things bc there's a perfectly reasonable excuse as to why they've been spending time together

fan39: FUCKING BROAD SHOULDERS 🫠🫠

fan40: i just know y/n took that 😭

fan41: kay but all those photos are just so cute

fan42: right???

callum_ilott: 🤨

liked by danielricciardo, kaitlyndever and 691,320 others

ynofficial: my new album 'STAYING AT SEB'S' is out next week and i'm so excited for you all to finally hear it!

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fan43: seb's? as in seb vettel's farm?

fan44: just how did you draw that conclusion????

fan43: bc she could be dating mick and seb owns a farm in switzerland and i'm pretty sure she knows daniel ricciardo through her manager who knows seb vettel. it's far-fetched but it's not impossible

fan45: if this is right...🤯

fan46: OMG I'M SO EXCITED I JUST SHIT MYSELF IN COSTCO

fan47: i'm gonna listen to this because i'm a massive fan of baby goats

ynofficial: omg i love that for you

fan48: is it a happy album or soul-crushingly depressing

ynofficial: 🤷

fan49: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN GIRLIE 💀

charles_leclerc: no bc i'm so excited

fan50: charles lmao

ynofficial: 🫶

liked by ynofficial, sebastianvettel and 691,186 others

mickshumacher: happy two years, sweetheart 💗 there's never been a day i haven't been in complete awe of your existence; i love and appreciate you everyday

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fan51: oh. em. acca. gee.

fan52: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

fan53: I SHIP IT. I SHIP IT SO HARD

fan54: babe calm down, they've sailed already

fan55: i'm crying pls the way she looks at him HAS ME BLUSHING

georgerussell63: congrats to the happy couple!

estebanocon: about time our dts gossip session came to light 🤣

danielricciardo: fucking finally 😁

lewishamilton: 💜

fan56: the support from the drivers is melting meeeee

liked by mercedesamgf1, laurawoodsy and 712,001 others

ynofficial: happy 2 years to my favourite person, the love of my life, the most adorable human being ever created, and my best friend. it's been a blast so far and i'm loving every second of it 🥰

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fan57: can i ask if mick is the inspiration for 'happy endings'?

ynofficial: he's actually the inspiration for the whole album

fan58: he's so golden retriever

sebastianvettel: i can confirm this is true

danielricciardo: hello??? seb??? look at my texts

fan59: ok he's hot

fan60: THE MOTORBIKE AND THE ARMS 😭🥵

fan61: she's out here creating thirst traps of her bf

fan62: honestly if he looked like mick, i think i would too

fan63: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 'STAYING AT SEB'S'??????

ynofficial: SEB VETTEL

charles_leclerc: 😲

estebanocon: 😲

lewishamilton: 😲

danielricciardo: 😲

landonorris: 😲

ynofficial: kay wtf

[nite-puff]

you’ve asked US.. but what are your thoughts on each of the captives??

OOOOOOHHH. yippeeee. i’ve spent so much time talking about certain captives to my friends in private. might as well talk about them here too!!

let’s get the ones that show up out of the way:

komaru: girly!!!!!! love you teenage girl protagonists that act like teenage girls. gotta be one of my favorite genders. i do have to refresh myself on udg to really get a better grasp on her nuances and growth throughout the game. but from what i do understand. she’s so nice. top three protag!!

yuta: wish we got more time with him fr!!!!! i do wish they kinda tried to make him more different from aoi. because they’re both kinda just hyper sports kids (at first glance. ofc aoi becomes more than that. maybe yuta would too if he stuck around more). it’d be nice to see what separates them. can’t believe he’s the only character death in udg. like wtf (taichi doesn’t count). he was still a nice presence when we had him. fly high, king.

taichi: fun fact. i actually don’t have many opinions on taichi. i know there are people who very much do. but idk. he didn’t really stand out to me. and that’s a me thing. not saying he’s a bad character or anything. i do think he’s funny when juxtaposed with hiroko and takaaki. loving husband and father who’s still happily married and the two most divorced individuals on earth.

hiroko: HIROKO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER! I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR HOURS. i came to the realization recently that she’s probably my favorite female character in all of dr. she’s in my top 5 favorite dr characters for sure. she’s who mondo wishes he was. she’s so kind and loving but also cool and badass. there’s so much about her that i want to know. which sucks because the writers don’t really want to develop her beyond “hiro’s hot mom” other than the fact that she’s an ex-biker turned nurse. which is. really cool!! i love her and want to know more please!!!! ultra despair hagakure 2: hiroko edition please!!!!! rando headcanon: she has a tattoo sleeve from her biker days. there’s a prevailing fish motif in it, to go with her jacket design.

okay. now the other guys.

takaaki: i mean. cmon, it’s takaaki. of course i have thoughts on him. i tried to abstain from voting in the poll, but then accidentally voted (i’ll say who when i get to them). but if i voted on purpose, i would’ve voted for him. he’s just…. man. a friend translated his beta design sheet recently and found out that they went into his design with the intention of making him look like the saddest old man ever. and yeah. they succeeded. i feel like a lot of people want takaaki in a game because it feels like what we already know about him implies a lot of nuance and character growth. he’s the only captive we know of that has a weapon on him (other than protag komaru). and he seems very serious, but is capable of having the same sense of justice and emotional highs as kiyotaka?? and they even point out how unlucky the guy was/is in the main game. like there’s a lot already going on there. what’s it like to be the son of a disgraced businessman/prime minister?? how does it feel to be the father of an aspiring prime minister (who fucking DIED. at the hands of someone trying to make money off his death)?? man…

takemichi: my rotten soldier. my sweet cheese. my good time boy. imagine your one job being to protect your best friend and lead your gang in his absence, but you indirectly fail at both of those and lose everything in one fell swoop. yeah, it wasn’t takemichi’s fault. but imagine if he still internalized the fuck out of that. if you can’t tell by the fact that he’s literally my pfp. i also have a lot of thoughts about takemichi. it’s almost like mondo and kiyotaka are the two characters that ive been hyperfixated on for the past 4-5 years. i feel like they were setting up the “cute but deadly” trope with him, what with them hyper focusing on his short stature and boyish looks but also his positions as head of the elite guard and mondo’s bodyguard. and i like that trope when it comes to him. he’s mondo’s cool best friend, and they both know that. i also can’t help but imagine his dynamics with other characters. his dynamic with takaaki is a given. mondo and kiyotaka were a standout duo. so it’s only natural that people like to think about what the dynamic between their respective closest persons would be like as well, especially with the whole “cop and delinquent” thing. i also love to imagine what his dynamic with hiroko was gonna be like. it’s clear that she’s automatically endeared to him. like she automatically gives him a nickname, something she doesn’t do to any other captive save for protag komaru. (i love “michi” as his fanon nickname, but “ruru” will always have my heart). also they’re both past and present delinquents. they’d obviously bond over that. just let me see them have one conversation please!!

kanon: uuuhhhhhhhhhhhh… i know that she’s the victim of an author who just wanted to write a fetish novel. and she could’ve been a way better character had someone else handled her. but man. i can’t get passed how she was written in udh. it also kind of breaks how we’re supposed to view the respective student-captive relationship. like every student thinks fondly of their respective “closest person.” and then there’s leon. who’s made very uncomfortable by his. sucks for him ig. by that logic, i can’t get behind the idea that her portrayal in udh was what was always intended to be her character. like that can’t possibly be the case right?? like they must’ve had another idea before handing her off to a writer who wanted to write a fetish novel. then again, udg’s writing in general tends to get weird. so who knows atp. also who knows if udh even happened. it feels like they retconned it in the dr3 anime by having hiro there and never mentioning the events of the light novel.

ayaka: she’s the one i accidentally voted for. and i mean. i wasn’t that hung up on it. cuz ayaka’s neat. people brought up some really good arguments for why she would’ve been included in the main game, very notably bringing up how she could’ve paralleled kotoko when it comes to how it’s like to be a young girl in the entertainment business. also obligatory “komaru was a fan of her girl group, so that interaction would’ve been fun to see.” there’s definitely something you can say about her being the least popular out of her girl group, but also being the only one left alive after everything. like imagine that being the one time you stood out among your peers?? it’s also fun to imagine what her friendship with sayaka looked like. there must’ve been something unique to their dynamic if she was the one chosen as a captive and not the three other girls. wonder what it was… only negative thing i have to say is that i wish they gave her a different name. just don’t have it be one letter away from “sayaka” please.

grand bois chéri: cat :3. that’s it really. nothing much going on there. there was no way he would’ve effected the plot if he was kept in, yet he was scrapped anyway. so there can’t possibly be much there.

aloysius: as we move down the list, i start to have less to say about these characters. yeah, i don’t have much on aloysius. i do think his potential dynamic with byakuya is interesting, considering the two have a better relationship than byakuya has with his family (which, i know why that is, but it’s still fun to think about). there’s something to be said about him being close to the elites of the world, but still only as a servant to them. like there could’ve been something cool there. does byakuya still only think of him as a servant, despite him apparently being the closest person to the heir?? much to think about. (side note: i just figured out how to pronounce his name not to long ago. it’s aloysius as in. o’hare.) (also obligatory “alfred reference”)

fujiko: i think she’s very silly!!!! she has a really cute design, and for that reason alone, i wish we could’ve seen more of her. i think her interactions with komaru could’ve been really nice because, again, komaru is a fan of her work. and i feel like the whole writing debate hifumi and toko had in thh would’ve been rehashed for a conversation between fujiko and toko. i can’t trust that the dr writers would’ve done something worthwhile with her, and i think that’s what’s really holding me back from discovering her full potential, writing-wise. tho i know there are fujiko fans who have really good arguments for what she could have going for her. and for that reason, i think she would’ve been neat to see. also the design. the design is really cute.

fuhito: another character i don’t have many thoughts on. i haven’t read the kirigiri novels, but i know they get into some lore on him. i don’t know how big his presence is in them but still, maybe that’s why im less privy to wanting to see more of him. still when it comes to thh grandpas, there’s definitely worse.

kenshiro: i feel like he’d definitely give off a more hiroko vibe if he was in the game. like a calmer presence to offset all the chaos. would also love to find out how he’s managed to survive during all that. it’d get turned into a lesson about hope and persevering despite it all. i feel like he and takemichi would get along. i can see them having a very danganronpa-like conversation where they promise to spar after everything goes back to normal and kenshiro gets better. death flags are raised. i always pictured him as stoic but very kind, very much like sakura. idk where im going with this. he’s not my personal pick for “character i want to know more of” but i wouldn’t be against finding out new information. he’s just neat.

kameko: bug. idk. once again, not much more to say.

and those are my thoughts. i’m, of course, biased to the characters who are close to the characters i have a hyperfixation on. but i think they all have potential to be cool characters (save for like. the animals). some didn’t live up to that potential, while others didn’t get that chance in the first place. but it’s cool that fans are interested anyways. tbh i really love the fans that are really into the captives. they’re insanely creative when it comes to crafting their ideas about these characters that the writers have most likely completely forgot. but it’s fun to imagine things anyway. anyways, someone go bother kodaka and ask about what the hell is up with these guys.

(this is also an invitation for people to talk to me about the captives more. please. my inbox is open.)

[4ng3lz-d0lly]

eric survey !!

Full name: onyx verheyen (no middle name cuz my middle name is ass)

Nicknames: pest

Birthplace: canada

Birthday: 08/18/2011 (mm,dd,yyyy)

Where Do You Live Now?: my mama's house

Parent(s): my parents

Sibling(s): 3 half brothers

Looks: 5'4, dyed hair and glasses

Favorite Animal(s): glass frogs and green anole lizards

Favorite TV Show(s): OHSHC but i mostly read

Favorite Kind(s) Of Music: idk but i like KMFDM, nirvana, radiohead, SOAD and korn. whatever genre those bands are

Favorite Movie(s): zero day, nightmare before christmas and but i'm a cheerleader

School: erm, a school in my town !!

Future School: idk

Future Job: idk either

Boyfriend/Girlfriend: none sadly T_T

Best Buds: @luvvs000 @livvvvvsblog and TJ (shoutout to bro cuz he doesn't have tumblr)

Favorite Candy: sour patch kids

Hobbies: doomscrolling tumblr, drawing, playing unnamed shooter on roblox, reading on ao3, and idk tuns of stuff

Things You Collect: soda tabs, beer bottle caps, cool rocks, pinecones and money cuz i need some i have no money

Do You Have A Personal Phone Line: yeyah

Favorite Body Part Of The Opposite Sex?: arms and hands

Any Tattoos And Where Of What?: no but i have a swirly star on my wrist in tattoo pen

Piercing(s) And Where?: earrings but i plan on getting snakebites and reverse angel bites when i'm older

What Do You Sleep in?: jurasic (i can't spell) world pants, tank top and tall missmatch socks

Do you like Chain Letters: what ?

Best Advice: idk i'm just retarded

Favorite Quotes: "ARE YOU DEAD YET?!" idk "good" inside joke with my friends

Non-sport Activity You Enjoy: being dumb and drawing

Dream Car: volkswagon beetle in navy blue

Favorite Thing To Do In Spring: stay inside because rain

What’s Your Bedtime: like 21:30 or 22:00

Where Do You Shop?: wallmart, ardenes, eclipse uh idk

Coke or Pepsi: both flat

Favorite Thing(s) To Wear?: sweatpants, cargos, shirts and DC sneakers

Favorite Subject(s) In School?: french where i am atm

Favorite Color(s): crimson and dark sage

Favorite People To Talk To Online: my friends n mutuals

Root-Beer or Dr. Pepper? Dr pepper

Do You Shave?: yes but not on my face cuz i'm not a man

Favorite Vacation Spot(s): idk places in my province

Favorite Family Member(s): my cat

Did You Eat Paint Chips When You Were a Kid?: i ate food

Favorite CD you own: avril lavigne let go

The ONE Person Who You Hate The Most: L

Favorite Food(s): shredded mozza cheese

Who Is The Hottest Guy or Girl In The World?: zendaya and matt dillon

What Is Your Favorite Salad Dressing?: none i like my salad dry

When You Die, Do You Wanna Be Buried or Burned Into Ashes?: burned and turned into fireworks to be shot u on new years

Do You Believe In Aliens?: yesm

If You Had The Chance To Professionally Do Something, What would You Do?: be dead

Things You Obsess Over: columbine, sandy hook and zero day

Favorite Day of the Week: saturday

A Teacher You Hate: french/SS/health teacher

Favorite Disney Movie: idk

What Is Your Favorite Season?: late spring

What Toppings Do You Like On Your Pizza?: pepperoni and bacon bits

Do You Like Your School Food Itself (As In The District Food): no it's icky

If You Could Live Anywhere, Where Would You Live?: iceland

Favorite Thing(s) To Do On Weekends: rot

Favorite Thing(s) To Get Clean up: my desk

Favorite Magazine(s): i don't have any

Favorite Flower(s): lily of the valley

Favorite Number(s): 666 and 420 (not weed)

Favorite Ice Cream flavor(s): moon mist and chocolate

What Kind of Guys/Girls Are You Attracted to?: hot ones who have epic personalities and taller guys

What’s Your Most Embarrassing Moment?: when my parents lectured me about my SH

If You Could Change One Thing About Yourself What Would It be?: height and weight

Do You Eat Breakfast First Then Brush Your Teeth or Brush first then eat breakfast: i eat breakfast and then i brush my teeth because i'm not crazy

Favorite Time of Day: 02:32

Can A Guy and Girl Be Just “Best Friends?”: ya why not ??

Do You Ask The Girl / Guy Out Or Do You Wait For Them To Come To You?: depends

Do You Mind Paying For Sex?: i'm 13

What’s The Most Important thing In Someone’s Personality: idk

Do you have a pager or cell phone?: yes

Favorite Sport: none

What Was the Best Gift You Ever Received?: laptop !!

How Long Did This Letter Take You To Finish?: half hour or more

What Did You Listen To While Completing It?: nothing

Are you or would you like to be married in the near future (next 5 years)?: nah

Don’t u just hate how psychics never win the lottery?: i'm confused by this question

[xx-riffraff-xx]

𓇼~rafayel characterization/headcanons~𓇼

a/n; FISHBOY ON THE BRAIN. CHARACTERIZATION LIST FOR RAFAYEL BECAUSE IDK IF HE'D SAY THAT OR NOT. seen both myths and main story, not all the memory cards yet so this is not set in stone but i think i have a general gist of how he is. spoilers under the cut

would write you love letters. wouldnt show them to you, but def writes them.

you'd love to read them, unfortunately, his handwriting is like your grandmother's cursive. Beautiful, yet illegible.

whiny, spoiled brat on the outside, soft, sweet, considerate lover on the inside.

pretends to be way less competent than he is because he likes the attention.

acts of service and gifts. dont think he's a spoken-devotion kind of person.

will spend days painting, will only stop for you

struggles with pressure, i think. very avoidant. like when thomas is on his ass about a painting, he lashes out and avoids everything, hence why you have to help him finish things.

looooves little treats. you bring him a little treat and he'll do whatever you ask.

guilt complex that manifests as ruthlessness. i can't really explain how this is? but like, his darker side in the Siren Song anecdote and what i've seen of his desert myth (dont want to bother looking it up rn)

likes savory foods!

i dont think he can cook. he can cook just enough to keep himself alive. im talking scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, fried fish, MAYBE learned how to steam a vegetable

doesn't seem the vegetables type.

a note on fish: this man is an apex ocean predator. he is okay eating fish as well as many other sea creatures. he enjoys sashimi, in fact. (sidenote about the author, cant do sashimi because of the texture, but i do like sushi! i am tragically basic, california roll is my favorite.)

doodles you everywhere on everything. paints you. sculpts you. takes pictures of you when youre not paying attention or when he catches you in a particularly captivating light.

his favorite pictures to paint of you are the ones where you are so obviously bright with life.

big spoon, likes to sleep with his nose nestled in your hair.

buys you perfumes/colognes that he thinks go well with your natural scent/preferences/soap scents.

sniffs you. all the time.

loves the fresh laundry, faintly floral scent. prefers subtle, quiet scents.

raf has synesthesia! mainly based around color and scent. (purely a headcanon because i want to explore my own synesthesia.)

absolute baby when he gets sick. even if its just a cold, he is on his death bed and needs you to say his eulogy.

dramatic idiot <3

deals with conflict very maturely, if he fucks up.

if you fuck up tho? it takes a bit for him to make it up to you.

hugs, all the time. from behind, in front, the side, in your lap, in his lap. hugs.

i would pen him for a wine drinker? like, white wines.

very sultry when inebriated. like you've heard of happy drunk, get ready for relentlessly horny drunk. (also has the potential to be a happy drunk. very relaxed i'd say.)

sprawls when he sleeps. also steals the blankets. he will sprawl all over you.

hence, king bed for way too much space to sprawl.

would and has lied about his height.

i actually dont think he'd drive an expensive car tbh. he'd drive like a middle of the road car.

this is probably because he drives recklessly and it's easier to insure a less expensive car lmao

likes listening to your heartbeat. it's comforting to know you're still here. (some element of this will probably be true across all my headcanon lists for the lads guys)

thats all for now, folks! it was somewhat difficult to think of all of these, but i hope you enjoyed!