#idk but i'll do smth
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mind if i sock it to ya?
#kirby#kirby gijinka#yin-yarn#doodles#i hadn't intended for it to end up so saturated but i tried it and i dig it#not smth i'll to again tho. probably. idk im just trying to get back into doing art at all lol
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smashing together my interests like a freight train crash
#trafficshipping#gempearl#<- just for the little bonus lol#gem#pearl#my art#cw suggestive#I have like. about 10% thoughts about comparing kaine and gem as characters btw#it's a lot but like. the boisterousness and brattiness and the way they both express frustration very outwardly#but also both of their weird relationships with femininity and the way their designs juxtapose their more headstrong personalities#s10 gem kinda moves away from that by wearing pants but it's cool. new character arc or smth#the other 90% is just “kaine's design is really hot” sorry#Idk if I'll ever draw anyone as 2B but if I do it'll be etho btw
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I think the aspect of the 2.7 story that felt most impactful to me was something that was previously addressed in the Penacony main story, but was reemphasized and expanded upon with Sunday being the narrative focus of this update:
Sunday is scared.
His motivation to protect the people and things important to him -- Robin is an excellent example -- manifests as a desire for control, to eliminate potential dangers. This motivation is based in fear; he's afraid to lose what he has to factors beyond his control, like the bullet that nearly took his sister's life.
And part of the "true paradise" he longs for involves preventing the sense of powerlessness that accompanies that fear. He believes that humanity sleeps because "we are afraid to awaken from our dreams." Indeed, the appeal of the "sweet dream" of Penacony is freedom from the uncontrollable and inevitable tragedies of the waking world.
It's part of what made him such an effective villain in the Penacony arc; even though you may disagree vehemently with his actions, you can understand with and sympathize the rationale behind them. In his mind, absolute control over the Dreamscape -- the elimination of frightening unknowns -- is the most effective way to keep everyone safe and happy. However, this undermines the real freedom and autonomy of the affected populace, many of whom are unaware of the Dreamscape's true nature.
In the 2.7 update, Sunday is "nerfed after turning into a good guy," to use March's words. Previously, he enjoyed immense social status as the head of the Oak Family -- and as the imposing, invulnerable, "final boss"-style antagonist. Now, his role is effectively reversed; he's a fugitive who has to disguise himself to evade the potential consequences of simply being seen.
He's an incredibly vulnerable position.
Not just physically -- as the audience, we also get intimate insights into his feelings and thought processes. Now he recognizes the scope of the harm he was previously willing to cause in the name of absolute control, and shoulders the responsibility of dealing with the repercussions.
His newly evident guilt and shame is emotionally moving on its own...
...and becomes even more poignant when you realize that guilt and shame and vulnerability has been a crucial aspect of his character from the very beginning. After all, so much of his deep-seated fear of the unknown stemmed from him blaming himself -- his lack of control over the situation -- for Robin's unforeseen injury.
I found the scene at the Dream's Edge the most touching in this update. Sunday's conversation with Robin is a bit of a paradox: he is deeply sincere and vulnerable in speaking to his own sister, yet guarded because he must avoid revealing his true identity. And Robin, in turn, directly provides an alternate outlook on Sunday's character, describing him as though to someone who's never met him, as though he isn't there.
And Robin's perspective reaffirms that Sunday's apparent invulnerability was essentially a facade. He may have been the head of the Oak Family, and the imposing final boss, but at the same time, on the inside, he was continually paralyzed by fear.
Sunday has always been vulnerable. He has always been scared.
And I think what makes the conclusion to the 2.7 story so satisfying and triumphant is that Sunday begins to properly address his fear, his persistent guilt and shame. He moves beyond simply acknowledging it, and recognizes not just how indulging his fear can bring further harm, but also what good things (that otherwise wouldn't occur) can happen when he overcomes it -- as it were, when he doesn't let his fear control him.
I'm going to be real, I probably had an intelligent-sounding conclusion for this, but... it took me several weeks to write this and I've forgotten any idea i might have had previously, so let's just say he definitely hit me right in the feels. 🤣
#sunday#hsr sunday#honkai star rail#hsr#star rail#hsr spoilers#sunday hsr#idk man just. AAAGH#idk if I'll ever be over how sunday played with my feelings#i started the penacony main story back in like march or smth and this update came out in december#so that's a solid 9 months i spent legitimately terrified of sunday#like that one scene in his office with aventurine gave me probably some of the worst nightmares i had all year#so like. idk if i realized it consciously at the time going through this part of the story but#i think it hit me particularly hard learning that he was never as invulnerable as he seemed#like not that him being a big scary villain was fake per se#but in that his invulnerable persona was a fundamental misconception of his character#that is perhaps deliberately cultivated (he talks about how he never wants to share too many of his worries with robin)#i feel like that could be its own separate post because AAAH#there's so many feelings and so much dramatic irony in sunday and robin's relationship#demonstrated very well by this conversation at the dream's edge#anyway. so i just.#like i definitely didn't doubt that this part of the story would do his character justice#but given my previous feelings on him i just never expected to fall for him like i did#well played hoyo. well played
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wanted: marine hunter takanome mihawk
#shanks: oh i want him alright#dracule mihawk#takanome mihawk#one piece#one piece fanart#op fanart#i accidentally went way extra on this than i intended to 💀 i got bored waiting for my brother + my phone was charging#it was just supposed to be a b&w sketch with his eyes yellow or red but it got out of hand when i was like 'maybe i'll do skin for funsies'#ah well. im really starting to get into painting with this one brush. one day i'll merge it with the style i use more#cuz rn i tend to break out the painting only when i wamt smth a liiiiittle👌 more realistic.#i stress that 'little' bc calling my style 'realistic' in any sort of way feels inaccurate lol#i digress#i love imagining marine hunter mihawk being some teenage punk between the ages of 17 and 23#idk when he became a warlord but if he had this epithet even before roger's death that would put him in mid-to-late teens#since at roger's execution he was 19 amd already had yoru#so it's kinda funny to imagine the marines being hunted by some teenager with dramatic sideburns and an even more dramatic sword#last post of the year! :)#i had no chill this month. pls dont expect anything on my blog again till march lol.#(im half-serious; im going on vacation for all of february and i have some prior pieces i need to focus on in jan haha. we'll see tho!)
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ToA Sketchbook PDF interest update:
Yep I'm locking in - lets do this.
Link to the original post / interest poll - There's still some days left to vote for how much you'd be willing to pay for the Sketchbook PDFs, but I settled on some things:
I'll be publishing the Sketchbook PDF on itch.io
I'll be splitting the sketchbook into different parts, in chronological order. This keeps it more accessible price-wise, and I'll still have an option for the full collection!
I do know that some folks wanted the PDFs to be arranged according to subject, so I could summarise the contents and summary of the art/subjects to expect in each PDF, so you know what you'll be getting.
I'm planning on giving each PDF a unique cover! If the scanning/cleanup process doesn't kill me, I'd love to do some exclusive artwork for this project as a thanks for the support and interest if you were to buy one of these!
If my health allows, I may even consider inserting some new sketches into each PDF 👀
As for updates: I have already done a quick mockup of a PDF, testing the quality, scanning, formatting and exporting process and I think I have a rough idea of the workflow! I'm going to be starting the scanning today, which is going to be a huge undertaking, wish me luck T-T ! I'm guessing that and cleanup may take the longest, and the timeline is unknown rn but I'll give as many frequent updates on this as I can.
And now for a very important question:
Would you like something more polished in this sketchbook PDF (stuff I already posted + "nicer" unseen sketches) ? or would you like me to also include the more raw, incomplete, and bad drawings too? When I say it's almost every art of ToA I did, I really do mean it.
Why I'm considering sharing the more raw stuff is because I feel like there is a lot of misconceptions/insecurities around the quality of a sketchbook, and the pressure of an individual to make every drawing-even in their own personal sketchbook-perfect. I thought I could include the good, the bad and especially the ugly to hopefully break that stereotype of every drawing needing to be perfect, and to show the very real process behind my art.
And why I'm also considering against that is because YOU guys are the ones paying for this PDF, and you may want to have something of more quality XD !!
I don't think I've seen many artists go for the TRULY vulnerable/raw/scrappy route in the sketchbook PDFs I've seen and bought, so its important that I throw this out there to see how y'all are feeling about this. So:
please only vote either the first two if you are planning on purchasing these, thank you!!
#thank you so much for your interest in these#your support means a lot and will be a great help to me <3#also some important stuff: when it comes to ships#ill just show the canon ones-everything else is considered platonic or familial#i know ive drawn a lot of hammerhunter but i wont put em in#i mean jim n tobes still gonna be there-there are tons but i'll be stating that its not in a shipping context#(i still love those goofballs im doing this for personal reasons and i hope you understand <3)#tales of arcadia#toa#trollhunters#claire nuñez#trollhunter!claire#post#text#also when i say its ugly IT IS REALLY UGLY#i mean you get nicer stuff but ITS MIXED IN which is what is Real but idk if its smth yall wanna pay for SDJGHS#but it is for sure a slice of my soul#for sure
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interest check!! are there perchance any jiaoqiu kissers here 🙏🙏
edit: the fic is out guys it's on here my dumbass just didn't queue it on time last night ☠️☠️
#mhie rambles#hsr jiaoqiu#jiaoqiu x reader#jiaoqiu honkai star rail#LISTEN I may be brewing smth okay#but idk if my interpretation of him is okay ish because i only had the leaks to go by#anyways!!! do or die#xianzhou characters r so fun to write for I'll be fr
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collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#yakuya#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival kuya
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Drawing Every Abnormality - Part 6
O-04-08: Red Shoes
"The sanguine colour of the Red Shoes looks oddly familiar"
Featuring: Vera (Disciplinary Team Member), Eden (Disciplinary Team Clerk), Poussey (Information Team Member)
Wow what a nice pair of shoes I sure hope they don't make anyone commit murder.
Not my best work, not my worst. Guess this is what happens if you draw whilst your arm's covered in bandages. Oops!
Pretty fun interaction to draw, tho I'm not completely happy with the positioning/layout. Oh well~
Vera's an ex-clerk btw. This happens like 2 days after she gets promoted lol. Eden's one of her friends - they got pretty close when they were working together. He uh... didn't take her promotion very well.
She'll be fine, dont worry bout her~
...He won't be, though.
#Idk whether I'll keep the number/title thing#Kinda makes me feel like a clickbaity youtuber and I have no clue why tbh#my art#oc art#art#lobcorp oc#oc#small artist#lobcorp#lobotomy corporation#lobotomy corp oc#abnormality interactions#project moon#project moon oc#Smth about this one just feels wrong and idk what#Which is rly annoying#I'd say we're getting into the more interesting stuff now#But the next 3 are old lady#The Fetus#And then lady facing the wall#(And therisia I guess. I'll draw it but it'll be a quicker one probably)#(Not looking forward to lftw ngl)#But hey then we're at the fun ones (Nothing There)#Also Poussey's just kinda. There.#She was on her way to go work on the shoes funnily enough#Didn't quite work out for her#Anyway I've rambled way more than intended#If you've read all that... thanks!#Uhhh does this need a blood warning do you think#I'll leave it for now cuz it's PMoon so it's nothing unusual but.
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Hey Guys Check This Shit Out
Commission of my oc Nico by @thehungreecat !!
And just in time for his birthday on the 13th, too ☺️☺️☺️ this summer will mark 10 years since I first made him, so it's rly nice to have something to commemorate him with 🥺🥺🥺
#speculation nation#nico#i will be reblogging this again on his birthday dont you worry#wanna make it my icon on discord too... just maybe...#my scrunkle. my special guy. my gay trans italian uncle who likes witchcraft and history and is Above All Else. a nerd.#i'll find smth else to do with him at some point ❤️❤️❤️ mayb an rp or smth. idk i miss him 🥺#since i adopted the name Nico tho (pulled from him)(but technically i named him after myself on accident)#it's been a little funny to talk about him lol. gotta specify oc Nico so ppl dont think im just talking about myself.#he's kind of a self insert to the left anyways. gave him a pretty hefty chunk of myself when i made him.#and then when i was called Nico during the dnd campaigns i had with him. well it just felt nice and right.#sorry Nico i took your name. but you are still so dear to me ❤️❤️❤️ even if u would hate me if u knew i made you ❤️❤️❤️#oc shit
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First Kiss (Birthday 1)
A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (3.9k words, angst, alcohol, internalized homophobia, religious talk, teary eyed lance, unprotected sex, aftercare) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I love this chapter sm}
last part - masterlist - next part
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c5dee82bfd159f7be0b993637cbfd8df/db4dfa8fe2ed83ff-76/s540x810/d289d5465d3492e332a81260ae6ecea051a2d3b0.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/21b01325f6862e8a7e5f9fc22fe5e262/db4dfa8fe2ed83ff-68/s540x810/18af2708109512197c31d6b80c7ca965f7c39960.jpg)
Lance knew it was going to be weird, seeing Fernando the day after he stole his first kiss. It had been all that was on his mind for the past 24 hours.
Even while his mind was racing with the memories of the Spaniards lips on his he walked into the venue as if everything was normal. People were already filling the room, he wasn't expecting such a large party considering his birthday had already passed but when he considered the Spaniards success this season it made sense
People were distracted, everyone seemingly knowing everyone. Fernando excused himself from the conversation he was partaking in to welcome the Canadian.
"Lancito, I'm glad you came" He smiled at him, as if everything was normal, as if he hadn't had his hands on the others waist as their lips tangled together the day before.
"Hi- yeah, uh, I wouldn't miss it" Lance almost hit himself for being so obviously anxious, he felt the urge to talk about it, he needed to talk about it and Fernando was the only one he could speak to about it, he'd been too ashamed to even admit he had kissed the man to anyone.
"Let's get you a drink, eh? Loosen you up a bit" Fernando grabbed Lances hand, their fingers naturally locking together as if they were molded to fit perfectly together.
It wasn't the first time their hands had been together this way, considering how close they were the day before there was no reason for Lance to be so flustered by the small touch but he was. He almost tripped over his feet as he walked because he was so busy with his eyes glued at their hands, Fernandos skin seemed to glow in the lighting of the room, he wasn't dressed up, most people weren't, but he still looked gorgeous, the contrast of his light shirt and tanned skin was almost breathtaking, Lance would admire the Spaniards beauty forever if he could.
"What would you like, mi sol?" Fernando asked, turning to face Lance, the Canadians eyes quick to meet the older mans
"Uhm, I'm fine with anything" He pursed his lips slightly, eyes not leaving the Spaniards face as he continued admiring him, the way the waves of his hair fell perfectly, his brown eyes seeming to glow in the dim light of the room, the way the entire room seemed to fall silent as he was captivated by Fernando
He nodded, turning to the bartender to order for the younger man and himself.
Fernando was busy, of course he was, it was his party. Lance didn't feel welcome without Fernando by his side, sure, Nico was there, he liked Nico enough, but Nico didn't make him feel how Fernando did. Didn't make his heart flutter, didn't make him lick his lips any time he thought of him, didn't make him consider sinning in the ways Fernando did.
"You good?' Nico asked, a slightly watered down drink in his hand, too distracted speaking to anyone who passed to drink.
"Great" Lance flashed a smile and nod, downing the rest of his drink, trying to ignore the disgusting taste it left in his mouth.
Lance's eyes fell on Fernando, seeing how he laughed and how close he was to the women he was conversating with, he was annoyed, not sober enough to fight back the nasty look on his face.
Fernando turned his head, locking eyes with Lance and staying that way for a minute, the Canadian could've swore he saw the older man wink before going back to his conversation, his face changing from upset to confused, why would Fernando be winking at him when he's surrounded by beauitful women and has been all night?
Fernando was painfully obviously straight, he frequently had girls all over him but Lance never saw Fernando go to them first, never saw his eyes flicker from their eyes to their lips, never saw his hands grabbing their waist and pushing them against a wall, he felt insane for even thinking that maybe he was different to Fernando, it was a crazy thought, a sinful thought.
The night seemed to speed by for Fernando, as it got later and later people began to excuse themselves to return home.
Lance hadn't noticed as the new day began, having drank way too much to register how time works
"Lancito" A voice called, he looked up from his glass right away
"Nando!" He smiled, automatically wrapping his arms tightly around the spaniard
"Hello, mi sol" Fernando smiled, wrapping an arm around Lance while he used the other to pay for the youngers tab and push the glass away from his seat "Are you tired, Lancito?" He asked, earning a quiet no from the boy "Well, I think it's time to leave anyway"
Fernando hummed as he stood up, a familliar arm around Lances waist as he guided him outside, through the parking lot, and into the passenger side seat of his car. Nico had left earlier so this was the only way to get Lance home
"What's your room number, Lancito?" He spoke softly, brushing the hair from the boys face as he awaited a response
"I-" hiccup "I dunno"
Fernando smiled slightly, nodding and buckling the boy up before heading to their hotel, figuring having a drunk Lance in his bed again wouldn't be too hard.
Fernando opened his hotel door, a hand still resting on Lances waist as he guided the boy to a chair by his bed
"Sit, mi sol, let me get you some water"
Lance nodded, sitting down and rubbing his eyes, his brain slowly registering his surroundings and his body realizing how late it was
"Here, Lancito, drink" Fernando held out a glass, watching carefully as Lance took it and drank
Fernando sat on his bed as Lance began to sober up, he could feel the canadians eyes on him, watching every time he moved slightly. He eventually made eyecontact with the boy, he could tell there was something he wanted to say
"What is it?" Fernando asked, sitting up to take a good look at the Canadian
"I think i'm in love with you" He blurted out, eyes widening as he realized what he had just confessed "I don't- I didn't- uhm, I don't know why, I don't even know if I like boys, I don't know if I like you or I admire you- I-" He trailed off, Fernando's eyes on him as he waited for the boy to finish "I'm terrified"
"You are in love with me?" He echoed
"Fuck" Lance muttered, standing up, and running his fingers anxiously through his hair "I'm sorry- I shouldn't have said that." He breathed out, licking his lips as he avoided Fernandos gaze
"Lancito" He stood up as well, quick to go over to Lance and place his hand softly on the boys upper arm, encouraging the taller man to look at him "Is okay, what are you sorry for?"
"I can't love you, Nando- It's-" He furrowed his brows, not sure why the older man didn't just understand, Lance hardly understood, Fernando was older than him why did he have to explain this "It's wrong, It's a sin, If I continue to act on this, Nando, I-"
"Hey" He spoke softly, everything about the man was comforting to Lance "What makes you think that, Lancito? Is nothing wrong with this, you loving me is not a sin, is just life"
"It is, Nando, I know- I know you don't have faith, you don't believe, you don't have to but-" He stumbled over his words, tears threatening to escape with every blink "I do, Fernando. I believe, If God says that this is a sin, Fernando, I can't live with myself if I do this willingly."
"What exactly is this, to you?" Fernando asked, pleading for the boy to give him a straight answer "What are we, what am I to you? How do you feel about me, mi sol?"
"Nando, You know how I-"
"Tell me."
"Fuck, Fernando, I don't-" He looked away from the man, lip quivering as he broke down, hands rushing to cover his face as the tears began to fall
"Ay, mi sol" He breathed, quick to pull the boy into his arms, one hand trailing through his uncut hair, the other taking a familiar position on his waist
"I-" He felt like he couldn't breathe, hands grabbing onto Fernandos shirt as he cried into the mans chest, he felt weak.
"Te quiero mucho, Lancito" Fernando whispered into the boys ear, lips brushing against his skin as he continued "Please, mi sol, please let me. Let me love you. Let me worship you. I have no God, let me devote myself to you. Let me show you how deeply I adore you, por favor."
Lance couldn't speak, all he could do was melt into the Spaniards touch as he sat down on the corner of the bed with the boy, keeping him close as he patiently awaited a response, even if it was no, even if he was disgusted, he needed something.
"If I was a girl-" He started, breaking the silence of the silence to choke out the words, not wanting to believe them himself "If I was a girl, loving you wouldn't be a sin."
Fernando felt like he just got punched in the gut hearing that, his eyes meeting Lances who's were filled with tears broke his heart "Mi sol.." He breathed out, unsure what to say, he understood how Lance felt, he was well aware of Lance's religious family and what exactly that meant but hearing it from Lance hurt
"I want to, Nando, I really want to." His voice cracked, eyebrows practically knitted together as he tried to blink back tears
"You can, please, mi sol, is nothing wrong with this, with us, with loving eachother." The Spaniard tried to convince the boy, praying it'd be easy, he wasn't sure how much longer he could stand to see his Lancito so hurt because of him.
"But-" He started, unsure what he was going to say in protest
"No, I know i am right, is just me and you here, no?" Fernando asked, earning a nod from the younger man "Your God will forgive, anyone who truly loves you will be okay with this, am okay with this, is okay."
It made sense in Lance's head, Fernando always made sense in his head, he trusted him with everything. Both of them fell silent, doing nothing but looking at eachother, Lance couldn't shake the feeling that this was wrong but if they weren't meant to be this close then they wouldn't be.
"Can I kiss you?" The older man spoke again, seeming hesitant to even suggest it now, without even thinking Lance connected their lips, how his god felt about this meant nothing when Fernandos lips on his was all his heart desired.
The Spaniard was quick to move his hands to Lance's waist, pulling him closer as they kissed, the younger man sinking into his grip, following his lead.
Fernando opened his mouth slightly, teeth grabbing onto the Canadians lip as a way to pull them closer, they could never be close enough.
Lance gasped, Fernandos teeth digging in slightly deeper after he heard the response he got out of the boy, his light pants between each kiss like music to the Spaniards ears.
The older man moved Lance slightly, lowering the two of them onto his bed, having himself positioned perfectly on top of him before he pulled away
"Nando" Lance started, lust filled eyes staring up at his Fernando, the room was lit just enough that it looked like the boys eyes were sparkling, Fernando absolutely adored his eyes.
"Is this okay?" Fernando asked, moving his gaze away from Lance's face to grab the hem of the taller mans shirt. Lance followed his hands, he wanted to, he trusted Fernando, of course he did, but he couldn't help but be scared.
"I don't know how-" He practically whispered, breaking the eye contact between the two of them "I've never done this before"
"Let me take care of you." He spoke softly, making Lance's heart flutter, Lance knew he was safe, Fernando would never do anything bad to Lance and everyone had slowly came to realize that
"Okay" Lance nodded, looking back up to Fernando "Yeah, Yeah this is okay"
"Sit up, mi sol" He instructed, taking off Lance's shirt once he did, he could tell the boy was nervous, even after sobering up it made sense for him to be. "I'll be gentle with you" Fernando promised, planting soft kisses on the corner of Lance's mouth as he laid him back down, slowly moving his lips lower
Lance closed his eyes, moving his hands to cover his face as Fernando bit his neck softly, gasping at the pleasant feeling.
"So pretty" Fernando spoke against the younger mans skin, hand moving to his jaw to expose more of his skin, lips traveling up Lance's jawline and leaving kisses behind his ear
"Nando, please" Lance begged, voice shaking
"Please what, mi sol?" Fernando sat up, looking at Lance for direction
"Touch me, please, Nando, do something" He whined, reaching to grab Fernandos hand, he wasn't even sure how he wanted the older man to touch him he just knew he needed something, anything.
"Okay, Lancito, I will" He whispered, placing a light peck on the boys lips and interlocking their fingers before moving his other hand down to the Canadians belt, taking it off for him "You are sure? You want this?" Fernando asked again, not wanting to take advantage of the boy considering how much he drank and how he'd just opened up to him.
"Please, I need it, Nando please." As Lance spoke he got more and more desperate, Fernando feeling as the taller man brought up his hips in desperation, body begging to feel any type of friction
He nodded, finally going to give the boy want he wanted. He lifted Lance on his own this time, sliding his dress pants down and off, shoes already disgarded somewhere in the room.
After placing his pants at the foot of the bed he brought his attention back to Lance, squeezing his hand slightly as he brushed his thumb over the boys bulge, seeing his head arch back slightly, body still aching for more and who was Fernando to deny his sun of anything?
He moved his and Lance's hand closer to his mouth, kissing his knuckles softly before letting him go, using both hands to take off the younger mans briefs, not realizing he was leaving him fully exposed while Fernando still had every inch of his body covered
"Nando" Lance protested, reaching for the mans shirt, desperate to take something of his off as he laid down, his body on display for him.
"I know, is okay, Lancito" The Spaniard spoke, planting a kiss on the boys forehead before undressing himself, turning slightly in order to place his clothes on the floor, Lance sat up again, eyes examining his body since this was the first time he was seeing all of him, his gaze landed on the samurai tattoo decorating his neck and upper back, he wasn't sure why but the sight of Fernandos inked skin alone was enough to make his cock throb, a quiet whimper escaping his lips
He felt intimidated as the older man turned back to face him, finding himself leaning onto the bed before the shorter man even spoke
The Spaniard smiled, finding his way on top of Lance once again, a hand placed on Lance's thigh as he spoke "You're so good for me, Lancito"
The words didn't seem like much but to Lance they were life changing, he whined at the praise, moving his hips slightly in efforts to recieve any kind of friction, he needed Fernando to hurry up.
"So desperate, mi sol, I've barely even touched you" He cooed, finally moving his focus to the boys body, eyes landing on the tattoo placed on his upper ribs. He brought his hand up the boys waist, thumb brushing over the hebrew lettering before moving onto his core, littering soft kisses down the boys stomach until he reached the base of his cock, Lance already squirming under him "So pretty, you are so perfect, Lancito"
With each praise that came out of Fernandos lips it only left Lance more desperate, needing more, he was beginning to get impatient until he felt a hand brush over his member, applying light pressure that alone could've made Lance come undone on the spot
"Nando" He whined, moving his hand to grab onto the older mans wrist, bringing it back to where Lance needed it most
"Can not have you finish too soon, mi princesa" He explained, the use of a new nickname leaving Lance's skin even more flushed than it had already become, he loved every nickname the Spaniard gave him but something about being his always made him feel special.
"Please, I just need you to touch me, Nando" He begged, Fernandos lips curling slightly as he listened to the boy
"Okay, okay" He nodded, sitting down on the bed besides Lance as he instructed the boy to reposition himself, getting on his hands and knees with little hesitation.
He brought his hand up to the boys waist, squeezing his hips slightly as he leaned over to the bedside table, grabbing a bottle of lube he'd been given as a gag gift, now he was more than greatful for whoever decided to make the joke.
He opened the bottle and got some on his hand, thumb brushing the boys hip softly "Am going to start, okay?"
Lance nodded quickly, he needed him to start, he needed anything, anything Fernando gave him he'd take
Fernando inserted a finger, careful at first because he was well aware this is Lance's first time doing anything like this, the boy shuddered under him, eyes closing at the cold feeling of Fernando's single digit inside of him
"More, Nando, please" He spoke, gasping as Fernando did what he asked. He could feel his fingers opening him, getting him ready, it was a new feeling but Lance adored it, his brain foggy as the reality of the situation hit him. Fernando was good with his fingers, reaching places and getting reactions out of Lance that the younger boy didn't know was possible.
"Sound so pretty for me, Lancito" Fernando's voice made Lance feel different, he still spoke the same but the combination of the praise and the feeling of his fingers deep inside of him caused a pit to form in his stomach, cock twitching slightly every time he moved
"Fuck, Nando, Please, Please I need more" Fernando nodded at the boys words, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his neck before adding a third and final finger, stretching Lance just enough so the Spaniard could fit inside without causing the boy too much pain.
Fernando turned Lance around, taking off his own briefs before pulling the Canadian onto his lap, watching as he moved to hide is face in the crook of his neck.
The older man moved back, leaning against the headboard as he lifted Lance by his hips to line himself up with his hole, whispering praises as he finally put the tip in, Lance gasping as his body sunk onto Fernandos cock, eyes squeezing shut against Fernandos skin as he felt himself getting filled up
He didn't move at first, waiting for Lance to get used to the feeling of him. When the Canadian started grinding slightly, looking for friction once again, he knew it was time to start moving
"Let me do the work" Fernando whispered, kissing the back of Lance's ear as his hands settled back on his hips "I'll take care of you, princesa"
With that he began to move, Lance's arms draped over the mans shoulders, his hands finding their way to the mans back and digging into his tattoo slightly as he felt Fernandos length moving inside of him, whining into his skin with every thrust
Lance could barely bring himself to think about anything but Fernandos cock, if this was so wrong why was it making him feel so good?
Lance and Fernando were close, practically every inch of their skin that coud be touching was touching, Lance's cock trapped between both of their torsos, dripping with precum as Fernando found his prostate, adoring how Lance practically meweld every time the older man made contact with it.
"Nando, Nando I'm-" His voice was shaky, barely able to form words as his head spun, feeling euphoric because of how the Spaniard was using his cock
"Cum, Lancito, cum for me" He instructed, continuing at the same pace inside of him as he felt his orgasm building, the feeling of Lance beginning to clench around him pushing him closer and closer.
He leaned Lance back slightly, wanting to watch as he came for him, not regreting his choice as he saw the way the boy shook softly in his arms, his cum covering both of their torsos and finally pushing Fernando over the edge.
Lance's breathing was heavy, he was quick to melt into Fernandos touch as he rode out both of their highs, something so intimate about the position they were in
"You did so good, princesa, so, so good for me." Fernando raved, cupping the boys face with his hands to cover him in soft kisses
Lance hummed, a soft smile on his face as he felt Fernandos lips on his face, ending with a loving kiss on his lips, this was perfect.
"Let's clean up" Fernando spoke again, hand brushing through Lance's hair as he stood up, Lance whining at the empty feeling he was left with "We can sleep after" Lance liked the sound of them both sleeping, he liked the sound of both of them together, it felt almost unreal as he gazed up at Fernando, nothing but admiration in his eyes as he appreciated the man in front of him
"Come on" Fernando laughed, moving to help Lance up as they made their way to the bathroom, grabbing both of them a towel and running a bath for him and the boy.
As they got out Fernando wrapped a towel around hinself, moving to dry of Lance's hair before wrapping him up as well
"I can dry my own hair, Nando"
"I can dry your hair too" They both smiled, they hadn't been able to stop smiling since they'd gotten to the bathroom and when Fernando pulled Lance to lay on top of him after they got dressed they still had grins on their faces
"Thank you, Nando" He heard Lance whisper, laying his head on the Spaniards chest
"You're welcome, Lancito" He hummed, moving his hand to stroke Lance's hair once more, admiring the boy that was slowly falling asleep on him, his boy.
Nothing else mattered in this moment, he didn't care about anything else besides the person breathing quietly in his arms. Lance was right, Fernando didn't have faith in a religion, in a god, in a book. He had faith in Lance. The man he'd spend the rest of his life worshipping and devoting himself to as if he was a god if he'd only let him.
#i actually love this#if u guys dont like this i'll cry#f1#formula 1#lance stroll#aston martin#fernando alonso#strollonso#ls18#fa14#first kiss au#au#alternate universe#rpf#real person fiction#smut#f1 smut#lance stroll smut#fernando alonso smut#strollonso smut#how do i tag this#just read it guys#or smth#idk#OH MY GOSHHHH#IM ACTUALLY POSTING IT#FINALLY#HEHEHEHEEHE#i love it guys#please love it
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Day 1 of OCTOber 🐙💕
#splatoon#starfishart#marina ida#might do a doodletober thing bc idk if I'll be able to draw smth everyday 👀
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I'm ngl I get raising awareness but seeing ppl draw like. cutesy fanart of their faves waving palestinian flags feels so dystopian & a little disrespectful/tone deaf. or posting about how "fave character from x show would support palestine" like. there's no problem imo w still participating in fandom while bad things happen in the world but it just gets very odd and tone deaf when we start crossing them over. like there's people dying, I really don't know that it's appropriate to bring up how glup shitto would oppose that. maybe you as your own person can do that on your own perhaps? without making it about fandom? like idk! it's just odd behavior To Me.
#like you don't need to make it about fandom...... it's just :/#like it's different when you had smth like captain america during ww2 created by a jewish man#precisely for the purpose of representing what was going on#and taking an issue and fandomizing it#like if a palestinian made a palestinian superhero and drew comics of them fighting the idf like#that's one thing#or all the incredible art that's come out to raise awareness in general#BUT WHY DO YOU NEED IDK STEVE FROM STRANGER THINGS TO WAVE A PALESTINIAN FLAG.... ITS JUST NOT.....#it feels so insensitive to me#ofc if actual palestinians come in and tell me I'm wrong here and they love those posts#I'll glady be wrong#but it just feels so disrespectful
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Unreasonably long post about plural shit
So I'm gonna be honest and uncharacteristically vulnerable for a second because I think people might relate or have internalized similar things. My name is Pyre; at least that's what I'll be going by on Tumblr. I'm a fictive, some of you might've already seen me sign off on comments or something using my source name but I don't really care. Also I'm not Techno, he's open about his source. Thought I'd get that out of the way for those of you who know us. Pyre is a very Techno name though and I just stole it faster.
Anyway, to the point: We've seen posts shouting out systems/collectives who are "too similar," particularly median systems and such who experience a lot of internal fakeclaiming and imposter syndrome because of that. This is for the non-median systems who are "too similar," though. This is part a post to point out their validity, and part a post talking about my own experience so far with that.
In my source, I'm kind of a badass. I was admittedly an asshole, and very misguided, but at least within my canon (within the shows canon is questionable, we never did finish it rip) I was fighting for what I believed was right. Fighting for those who fall through the cracks for no good reason, for those that get hurt for things they can't control. If I were brought here, in this world, in my own body, I wouldn't afraid of shit. I'd gladly punt a transphobe. I wouldn't shy away from conflict; sometimes conflict is how progress happens.
In reality, I don't have my own body. And one of the things about our body is, well, its nervous system is wired to treat any small amount of conflict as a threat. We're incredibly risk averse, and this isn't a personality trait, it's built in. No one in our collective is likely to ever take an opportunity, no matter how well laid out, to call out someone being an asshole or have some witty comeback to a transphobe or whatever. We won't even think of one. That's wired into our nervous system, it's just how our body reacts to danger. We stumble over ourselves if we try to do anything other than freeze.
This isn't a fault. This wouldn't be overwritten by sheer personality and willpower in a "real system." Some systems, maybe, but not all. So for those of you who feel like you "should" be a certain way and just can't because it's built into the body you're in to act differently; you're not any lesser for it. Whether you're a fictive, sourced in some way, have a certain role that "should" be different, your personality is just like that, or some other reason I can't think of- don't be too hard on yourself for things you can't control. The body you're in just wants to protect you.
Even if sometimes, you (and I) strongly disagree with it on what exactly that means.
-Pyre
#this could be written way better but whatever#I'm developing a headache so fuck it#anyway yeah I'm a persecutor protector (the label is self-applied as all in our collective are) and idk if anyone else has this problem but#I do and it pisses me off#bc I'm supposed to PROTECT#that's like half my thing#but I know that if I were to get stuck in a conflict situation I'd probably be just as horrible at it as the others#plurality#plural#plural system#actually plural#plural community#pluralgang#pluralpunk#endo friendly#endo safe#anti endos not for you#anti endos fuck off#or I'll eat ur bones#plural things#plural writings#OH WE HAVE BLOG TAGS I FORGOT#speaking from the void#post log#and uhhhhh#writings from the void#or smth like that. we need a writing tag
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this has probably been done before but whatever
#splatoon#agent 3#agent 8#agent 24#umm . i'm iffy on a lot of things (weird evil perspective oddities mostly?) but i'm at least not late this time it's only 11:40 here.#BUT i have an excuse. i was out shopping and setting things up for tomorrow for most of today </3 sleepy but still wanted to do smth#ok bye maybe i'll have more on new years idk yet.
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; HAPPY PRIDE AND FUCK YOU (P)CORN BOTS !!
; biggest size text, purple = HAPPY PRIDE AND FUCK YOU (P)CORN BOTS !!
; doing my part this pride and reporting all the spam bots invading the asexual tags !! You should too !! ( /nf ofc tho <3 )
#idk if corn uncensored is gonna get me removed or smth#With how tumblr can be Im not taking any chance :']#asexual#Ace#acespec#spam bots#fuck them#like ☹️☹️☹️#During pride too#Eugh#Hate those bots istg#mildly uncomfortable scrolling the asexual tag to remove them#But I'll do it anyway💪#FOR THE FELLOW GARLIC BREAD ENTHUSIASTS
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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