#idk I'm having thoughts again
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I think that the appeal Remus has to Sirius is that he is calm. That he is unlikely to yell, unlikely to lash out. Timid, kind. Gentle.
I imagine teenage Sirius being pretty disregulated by the volatility of his family, causing his own, and Remus calmness just soothes it so well.
When Sirius would be in a fit of rage about something, James would rant with him and rile him up further, entertaining his mood. Peter would cower, worried to say the wrong thing. But Remus would be the one to step up, trying to make him take deep breaths and think it through and tell him that "just setting it all on fire" actually won't fix the issue at hand at all.
He would say the things Sirius would know very well himself, but would be unable to reach through his anger, without ever judging him for his outbursts. Sirius liked that Remus was steady. That he didn't have to worry about him.
Remus would allow Sirius to become as kind as he actually is. Not having to hide behind an aloof, snarky facade (let's be real, he can be a mean bitch and he's good at it, but he cares). Remus would allow Sirius to be himself in a way (maybe) not even James could.
#I still think James was his number one despite this#they just share a “more profound bond”#idk I'm having thoughts again#sirius black#remus lupin#marauders#mwpp#sloth hc#wolfstar
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
#egg speaks#writing#polls#my writing#egg writes#my polls#poetry#time loops#listen I want to run this again#time loop poll#<- check that tag on my blog for the original 10 option version lmao#unreality#you know I didn't think I'd get fed up with people making isat jokes about this#I thought it'd be like oh hey neat same hat#we both like the same game#but people keep going “oh this is JUST an ISAT reference”#as if it's not a genuine work of creativity I did myself. it feels a bit devaluing#“op you played isat” yes but that came after the original!!!!!#I KNOW it's not meant like that but I want people to engage in my work as its own thing. you can make jokes about similar media!!!#but this is it's own thing!!!!#I want people to like it for what it is. I want people to enjoy it outside of other media. I want it to stand on its own#I'm flattered someone said it was good enough that they think it could be narration from the game and read just as well!!!!#but like. idk. all the other medias popping up (pmmm. orv. higurashi. etc) aren't people calling it a /reference/#if I wanted it to be an ISAT reference I would have tagged it originally. I would have targeted it toward ISAT fans more intentionally.#I love fanworks but this was an ode to time loops alone. I wanted people to think. to have to CHOOSE. I wanted PARTICIPATION#time loops as a narrative and as horror and as a group activity via polls on tumblr. also s/o to the person who said 40 hr work week so tru
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They're the best of each other!
#Something that was meant to be just a quick little drawing of Pete and Steph#I really havent drawn them all that much#and i wanted to work on my steph design#I have a ton of art in my drafts that I have yet to post#so i'm just posting these while I work on more pulp art#idk i thought this was cute#Oh guess what- i got a new facts book#so i'm gonna start doing the fun facts again!#fun fact: squirrels can climb trees faster than they can run on the ground#there are so many squirrels where I live and just about everytime I'm driving in my neighborhood I get scared I'll hit one#the little shits just really love sitting in the middle of the road until the last second smh#hatchetfield#starkid#team starkid#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#starkid npmd#steph lauter#stephanie lauter#mariah rose faith#mariah rose faith casillas#pete spankoffski#peter spankoffski#joey richter#my art#lautski
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same teacher, different lessons
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#sonic the hedgehog#dr. ivo eggman robotnik#miles tails prower#sonic frontiers#SPOILERS. THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS COMIC BY THE WAY.#SONIC FRONTIERS SPOILERS#smiles gently I can not believe I let sonic the fuckign hedgehog ruin my life#(I can I totally can)#hi <3 if you follow me because I drew this sonic comic. don't!#don't do it! follow me bc I'm funny and hot and devastatingly smart don't follow me bc I draw sonic stuff. bc it won;t happen again#I mean it. not bc I dont like or want to do sonic stuff. but bc I am literally in the middle of a job rn#one that I want to invest 100% of my time and brain in#this comic is actually an effort to win my brain back so I can do my job lol#because I finished miss penny snapcube's streams of this game and it force fed me emotions#I just! I just thought sonic would come tell eggman abt sage!! idk seems like something he'd do!!!#and also the whole thing abt letting the characters move on and have a future and change and develop#vs Killing My Baby Little Guy Daughter For Like Ten Minutes#thematically interesting! also for some reasons I had. a pretty easy time drawing this#I was mouthbreathing galloping like a horse to finishing this. Because I Need To Work#I didnt expect to have a good time with these designs tho idk why. probably bc I most suck shit at drawing animals#but to be fair yet again sonic and tails are little guys. theyre animal but theyre also like dudes. also sonic's design is kinda perfect#as far as character design goes he's really pretty goo- wait I made a continuity error hol on#okay. okay I fixed it. no problem. no matter 's all good now#okay. I go sleep now. today has been very noisy. but this actually got me through it okay#thank you sonic the hedgehog. that was pretty cool of u#have a good night guys! absolute freedom is probably really really sad#long post
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Kel is off to art college and she misses her bf, Cove ╥﹏╥
#my art#my artwork#our life#our life beginnings and always#olba#cove holden#our life mc#olba cove#our life cove#crow draws stuff ig???#cove x mc#our life: beginnings & always#gb patch games#olba mc#olba fanart#I'm back on my meme bullshit again ignore me lol#In canon Kel does go away to an Art College/Institue outside of American (probably Canada idk)#But she drops out after a year because f art institues :))))#I have so many thoughts about these two ugh#DO I WANNA DO ANOTHER PLAYTHOUGH?? MAYBE????#HELP ME MY BRAINROT IS REAL
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The cutest reminder ever that the way family works in TSAMS canon is that two parties have to be in mutual agreement that they are family. If one party doesn't agree then they aren't family. Parties can revoke familial ties whenever they want and that means they are no longer family.
"Code Relation" theory is stupid because you're then implying that Eclipse is Sun and Moon's child. Which he isn't. Or that Killcode is somehow Moon's child and his brother at the same time that he's Eclipse, Lunar and Bloodmoon's "father" at the same time that they're Sun and Moon's grand children. Like, we're seeing the issue here, right?
Don't make things more complicated than it has to be. Just accept the fact that family is literally determined by a verbal agreement between two animatronics and nothing else because none of them were born from wombs. That means respecting canon when characters in canon decide that they aren't comfortable being family (like Eclipse) or just straight-up disown everyone (like Bloodmoon). It's okay to have headcanons, but don't try to push them onto canon.
#alex talks#tsams#tsams discourse#the sun and moon show#just respect canon#not everyone has to share your headcanon about how family should work#pushing headcanons onto people and claiming it's canon is rude#and really fucking gross too#let people enjoy canon without having headcanons that they don't like/agree with being shoved in their faces#istg if I see another argument as to why a harmless ship is “actually incest” because of “code relations” I'm going to scream#yes I am staring at the people who are making that claim about shadowplanet#code does not define family in this show have we not learned this already#if that were the case then most of the animatronics would be related because they were made by fazbear and that would be an issue#because a lot of them are dating like bros please open ur eyes and see how this stuff actually works in TSBS instead of#Pretending your headcanons are canon#again#it's fine to have family headcanons and the code relation headcanon but don't push it onto canon#that's so rude and annoying#also do you really think the VAs would joke about shadowplanet if they thought it was somehow incest#in any way shape or form#family doesn't work by “relations” it works by agreement#Solar wasn't family until he agreed to be family#and even then he was like “yeah a distant cousin or smth idk”#idk now I'm just#alex screams into the void#yeah#pop off king
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Please for the Love of God let me tell you about my gay time traveling vampires
#I dont have a caption for this one#usually I have some sentence stuck in my head the whole time I'm drawing something but not this time...#so. no thoughts idk#I have NOT been able to focus OUUUUGH#and yet... I perservere.............#drawing#adam and steve#time and time again#ttawebcomic#webtoon#illustration#digital art#SORRY IM POSTING SO MUCH AHHAHAHA#I realize also I've been reposting a lot#but this one is new#it was gonna be a pride piece but I could NOT figuyre out how to get their flags in#so I gave up#and I'll do something esle for pride
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Suddenly remembered something I wanted to say re:Akechi, because I think it's really core to his character (at least the way I interpreted him?) and I feel like it explains a lot of his contradictions. Essentially, he is incapable of seeing himself as just a person - he's either the greatest hero/detective ever, or he's some violent monster, and it's like there's no in-between. It's very in keeping with his obvious superiority-inferiority complex, but it goes deeper than that too; when he's in a role, it seems like his self-perception kind of changes too depending on how he is perceived by others. He really does get a confidence boost from being the Detective Prince. He really does shut down emotionally as the Black Mask.
They're masks that he's made, and it's not that aspects of them aren't based in truth to some extent, but I think it goes to show why he's not actually that fantastic a liar (imo, I found the outright lies pretty obvious), but he is a very good actor. He's either an angel or a demon, and never a person, but there are conditions to that. He is an angel when he is perfect - to society. He is a demon when he is vengeful - again, to society. He is never a person, because he never was seen as one - to society. He was disregarded. To be anything of value or notoriety, whether that's hero or villain, he has to be wildly more or less than who he actually is, and he's been building these masks up for so long that I really think he lost sight of the actual person behind it all. And I don't think he wanted to see that person anyways, because that person "wasn't good enough" and I do think he'd rather be anything other than himself. That trickery, that deflection from the person within, in itself brings him pride and satisfaction. He wants to be loved and needed instead of being cast aside, but I also think that if he can't have that then he'd much rather be hated than never have mattered at all. He weaponizes his own loneliness - if he can't ever be accepted then he'll build his own pedestal apart from everyone else.
It's so fascinating too, because I just wonder how much of this he was consciously aware of pre, during, and post engine room. There's this recurring thing with him where he goes "I can only be myself" etc but I just want to shake him because, well, who is that, Akechi??? Or, who do you think that is? Do you actually have an answer? Is it predicated on your actual feelings or solely on your success at fooling everyone around you? Is there any part of you that you actually like that isn't based on a painstakingly constructed mask? Isn't it all mostly lies to deflect from the truth? Isn't it all founded mostly on truth, nonetheless?
It drives me insane. And I think this is a big reason why he breaks so hard in the engine room, because so much of his mask requires his "audience" to perform in a particular way. And here he is, and the Thieves have beaten him, so there goes the first mask, because he's no longer "perfect". He swings wildly into the ugliest sides of him, but this mask is broken too, amidst him vehemently and desperately denying that he has any other emotions than hatred and rage, or any other needs or desires than vengeance. And after that, it's just him. And they should reject him, right? That's what happens. He's not useful, he's not needed or perfect, his hands are stained with blood. But the Thieves, again, don't play the role he expects them to. They, despite everything, relate to him - because he is in fact very similar in a lot of ways and they acknowledge him as a person - not a hero, or idol, or villain, or tool, or unwanted child - but as a damaged teen like the rest of them. And he does not know what to do with that. His identity is intrinsically dependent on getting the right reactions from other people as a form of ingratiating himself - if he does not get that reciprocal reaction he's looking for, his act falters, and, I really do believe that so does his self-perception. That's why you see different aspects of him seep out when he's spending time with Joker, because Joker does not react the way he expects, and Akechi both does and does not like this, because it leaves him feeling both intrigued and vulnerable.
I do think this particular aspect of his character is something a lot of the Thieves don't fully grasp - certainly, I think Joker "I need the mask" Persona 5 understands to a degree, but the sheer degree of reliance and the level of pride attached to it is something that confuses him a little, I think, especially in Mementos Mission. I think the thief that comes closest is actually Morgana, who has a similar superiority-inferiority complex and a desperate need to be seen as competent and useful lest he be discarded. (This is a big part of why the rather lackluster writing with Morgana's arc frustrates me so much because I really do feel it was meant to be contrasted with Akechi's, but I digress.) Morgana is the one to make that emotional appeal to Akechi, which makes a degree of sense - Morgana struggled all along with finding a place in the world. His form leads others to underestimate him; he visually doesn't fit in. He's acting out the role of a chivalrous and cool phantom thief but is more pragmatic with how he views relationships, at least at first. He wants a place to belong where he is appreciated more than anything but his pride won't let him spit it out. Accepting that he belongs and that he is loved even if he really did have nothing of value to provide is a big part of the resolution of his arc. He tries to offer that learned lesson to Akechi in turn ("Follow your true feelings. Even if you think people hate you, or don't want you around-"), but Akechi just wasn't in the right space to listen. There's also an important distinction between the two - Morgana envies humans and looks up to them. Akechi envies humans and looks down on them. Morgana is perfectly happy once he is assured a place amongst the group, but Akechi see-saws wildly between wanting to belong and wanting to be a step above the rest and separating himself further. So while Morgana actually really did cut to the core of the issue, his appeal would never have worked at this point because a) Akechi's pride is dependent on him maintaining his solo act, and b) he just got outed as not actually hating Joker in front of seven other people including Joker himself lmao.
So, uh, sorry, Morgana. Points for trying.
#oh no this got long again hfdsjfshbf#anyways i do have more akechi thoughts wrt parallels with other characters but i think i should stop bc i keep talking about him#and it's probably annoying#also i should probably wait to see what he's like in third semester because it seems like he's taking a lead role here#and he's definitely changed so i'm curious to see who he is now#storyrambles#does this even make sense. idk.#what a fascinating character. i can't stand him. i hope he gets lovingly dunked on for the rest of time.#story plays persona 5#p5r#goro akechi#p5 meta#p5 morgana#call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective.#<-i feel the need to clarify on any post involving akechi that this is my standard analysis tag that has nothing to do with him#i am not a kinnie i don't think i could take that
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KATE SHARMA & ANTHONY BRIDGERTON BRIDGERTON 2x06 THE CHOICE
#bridgertonedit#kathonyedit#katesharmaedit#anthonybridgertonedit#kanthonyedit#bridgerton#kathony#kate sharma#anthony bridgerton#kanthony#dailybridgerton#dailykanthony#bridgertonblr#perioddramaedit#netflixedit#tvedit#kathonykiss2x06#my main thought after watching these over and over and over again while giffing them is i wish they'd used more tongue!!!#i mean maybe simone and jonny did want to use tongue and they just told them not to idk#often thinking about the season we could have had if they hadn't told simone and jonny to hold back........#my poll was split on how to post this so i'm gonna do some separate smaller posts as well
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thinking about,,, drunk sneezes
not only the possibility of sensitivity to wine/etc itself but just. the alcohol fuzziness meaning maybe they let a sneeze creep up on them without noticing, and the lack of inhibitions meaning they let it out without any shame they may usually have..... maybe even being more dramatic than usual, louder, bending at the waist, dazed after.... accepting care they may usually deny because they are drunk and happy and vulnerable
#i'm fine i'm normal#snz kink#snz fet#alcohol tw#(???)#of course i am thinking about modern au hc because i am nothing if not a one-trick-pony rn#xl watching him go all loose and fuzzy with delight and then he starts /sneezing/#hooh boy#also tho i am having THOUGHTS about canon t/gcf 👀#iirc in japan saké is often used in purifying rituals#i'm not as familiar with chinese culture so idk if rice wine is used similarly there#but the idea of a purifying/blessed alcohol that has adverse effects on ghosts..... hello#(xl brings it home wanting to try alcohol again for nice reasons for the first time!)#(he doesn't know that it's a fancy ritual wine! what does he know!)#(they drink it together! WHOOPS! what could be happening? >D )#alright. doffs my clown hat. shutting up now. have this
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louis loves lestat, a part of the tragedy was/is that he loved/loves lestat so much and can't STOP loving him, that's why he couldn't fully kill him, why he lets him come back home after the drop, why dreamstat is even a thing during paris and stayed with him for 77 years, even when he tried to let him go he couldn't move on or forget about him because he LOVES him
#i feel like i'm copying what somebody else said here so if i am i'm sorry xoxo#wahhhhhh guys i am going through it#i don't understand why ppl don't think he ever loved lestat you can see it in his every action his every facial expression idk guys like#i need to rewatch this show so bad guys#i can't find s1 anywhere aaaaaa#when louis says 'if you were the last vampire on earth it would be enough' and then turns to lestat ...that is all the proof you need that#he loves him#once again waaaaaaah#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#loustat#i have so many thoughts rn but i am going back to reading instead yay
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sorry, i'm still hung up on how bad the writing for sarevok was in bg3. it's not even just "he's so out of character!!" bad. that is just straight up not him. literally who is this man, what the hell is he talking about, and what has he done with the actual sarevok because nothing he says makes ANY sense like....
just as one example of how wild the contradictions/retcons are, this is how bg3 has him recount his resurrection in bg2 -
and this is (parts of) how it actually happened -
like??? it's so bad and weird and dumb and for WHAT???
#larian critical#jaheira HELP my idiot brother has some sort of dementia and he's down in some weird cave telling people we made him forget how to piss (?!)#idk it's just so weird how he absolutely did not need to be there#just make orin's dad some random like this literally does nothing for the plot. i do not understand why he's even included#ppl being like 'it's just fanservice!!' girl..... which fans are being serviced by this??#bcs people who know the og series hate it and people who don't have no idea who this random man is. literally for what !! WHO is this for !#what was the reasonnnnn !!!!!!!!!#replaying bg2 is just making me annoyed all over again rjgnkjfnv#no sarevok in bg3 girl that's koveras#idk.. i have Things To Say about this and other things broadly bc it has me thinking..... the wheels..... turning.... connecting dots#i'm gonna be annoying and make an actual thoughtful post about it soon probably sorry <3
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i think a major thing that is overlooked in the x files is that when they do their little cutscene of them driving from washington dc to the bumfuck middle of nowhere at the start of each episode, their roadtrips must be SO long. so what are they doing in that time? are they fighting over which radio station to listen to? filling the silence with conversation? is that how they become inseparable, over mind-numbing hours on the road where stories slip off of the tongue with ease?
#i HATE road trips so this is baffling to me#like at first it HAD to be awkward. what the hell do you say at first. but then it happens again and again.#are they chatting? getting to know each other? debating cryptids? talking about life?#are they putting on music? taking turns flipping the stations between what they like and the other person likes? do they bring CDs?#there's no way they have a mutually compatible music taste i just know they drive each other up a wall with that#in all honesty i think they're probably listening to NPR because they seem like that type of nerdy intellectual. and talking about that.#but with THAT MANY HOURS in the car like. you have to come up with SOMETHING to do.#maybe they'll address that later on idk i'm only 10 episodes in but the thought is making me laugh#txf#the x files
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🌍 I'm not an oddball or anything ✨🐏
#hyoma beyblade the place you hold in my brain#I have so many thoughts about him and this piece but I also it speaks for itself#tried out new things with this one idk if i love it but it exists and i'm glad i was able to finish a piece again#mfb#metal fight beyblade#beyblade#beyblade metal fight#hyoma beyblade#beyblade metal fusion#beyblade metal saga#beyblade fanart#illustration#artists on tumblr#artidoesart
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collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#yakuya#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival kuya
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guys please pray for me
#I don't know how to explain what's going on but I'm struggling and don't know how to get a handle on it#I think that there's two issues going on that are probably somewhat intertwined because I'm fixating on them as such#so maybe I need to separate out the one that is stupid and I shouldn't be fixating on it#and then just focus on the other thing as it is and not as a symptom of whatever else#idk but it's so weird and complicated that I just can't figure out how to explain it#and I've gone to my mom over stuff related to this enough lately so I won't again#idk I'm just. maybe I'm having a hard time because I'm so tired. I've been getting up early every day this week#and yet still can't fall asleep earlier so I'm not getting enough sleep I don't think.#I haven't had a break since friday#maybe that's part of it#bc I was fine for a while and then this week I'm fixating on what ifs and my own failures (that are somewhat out of my control#because I... don't know how to capture my thoughts while I'm literally mostly asleep? probably habit when I'm awake lol)#so i think there's a level of spiritual attack making me fixate and also just#tiredness#yeah.#anyway.#prayer request
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