#idk I’ve got another thought
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Steve trying to help eddie study but it just dissolves into them finding pictures in Eddie’s textbook and saying ‘that’s you’
#Eddie pointing to a drawing of a mitochondria : hey it’s you :))))#Steve: what? dude that doesn’t even make sense#Eddie: Yeh you are the powerhouse of my cell :’)#Steve: :’)#Eddie pointing at a picture of a dissected frog: dude how many times are you in here?!?#idk I’ve got another thought#maybe to do something with idk shit postin is all I’ve got#hope you all had a good day!!!#stranger things#eddie munson#steddie#steve harrington
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I know someone on here posted Lindsay’s reel/clip from yesterday talking about their recent mental health diagnosis and the way that vtubing as RWBY has helped them deal with it and like. I have a lot of emotions about that as I’m sure we all do (and I’ll find it to rb on here later) but. for me personally this is extraordinarily impactful because there are so few people that are known creatives that are open about being bipolar that for them to just come out and say it absolutely floored me. bipolar disorder is probably one of The most stigmatized and demonized mental illnesses out there and it is so hard to come to terms with that diagnosis, even if getting the diagnosis means you can struggle less in your daily life thanks to medication and therapy, so I don’t blame anyone for hiding it or keeping private about it, but as someone who has made a point of being pretty open about being bipolar as part of my creative…mission statement, I guess, it’s deeply meaningful and impactful to me to have someone like Lindsay Jones be open about being bipolar as well. the only way we can reduce stigma is to keep talking about it, so I genuinely hope this can help reduce the stigma of bipolar disorder in the small corner of the world that watches Lindsay/RWBY because even that little bit can make a huge difference.
happy mental health awareness month!
support Lindsay, support anyone else in your life who is struggling with mental health especially bipolar disorder (I, II, or cyclothymia), and if you have any (respectful) questions about what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder my askbox is open with no judgement 💙
#I mean. caveat I have bipolar ii and I’ve been on mood stabilizers for six years but I want to be open abt it it’s very important to me so!#anyway. I’m so proud of them and I feel for them so hard and I’m glad they’re getting the support they need#also like. god. they’re what…10 or 11 years older than me and just got diagnosed last year???#I figured out I was bipolar 10 years ago and then fought for another 4 years to actually get diagnosed so I can’t imagine going that long#and then getting the diagnosis. god. …also part of me wonders if they have i or ii but i imagine i?? idk realistically its probably ii#at least imo but most people talk about bipolar i when they talk about bipolar disorder so. hm#anyway. lotta thoughts#original
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anyone who says this simply doesn’t have honobono in their lives
#vee queued to fill the void#my feed has been a blast since the play first started lol#i remember when femme fatale first dropped people were getting into hypmic bc of nemu#and now we have round two of that with the stage and honobono and ik she’s not everyone’s cup of tea#but i am so happy she’s responsible for a new wave of hypmic fans lol#like i was so devastated seeing honobono’s png for the first time#like her face card is too unfair for how much she’s bound to terrorise everyone lmao and they managed to cast the woman who captures that#CHUUOKU STAGE IS TOO POWERFUL I CANT WAIT TO NOT BE DEAD ON MY FEET SO I CAN FULLY APPRECIATE IT#idk if it’s bc of the stage creating interest but i’ve also seen a fair amount of people getting into hypmic for kuukou lol#like one got lured in bc there’s a song by diggy mo and then the rest of kuukou as a character concept locked them in lol#and another one really liked batfs loved how it felt like a ‘WELCOME TO NAGOYA’ song and thought evil monk’s rap was the best lol#and a bat otaku was in their replies trying to spread the kuukou gospel so to say lol#so i’ve been getting double dose of women hype and kuukou hype it’s been fun lol
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idk i just don’t trust ppl who say “billy is a racist abusive piece of shit” but then turn around and reblog jason content like. okay if u have that opinion that’s your prerogative but it’s MY prerogative to point out that it’s weird af to feel that way abt billy and NOT abt jason
#d speaks#st#billy hargrove#jason carver#like if u hate billy that is your prerogative esp as a black person. that said#these are white ppl i’m seeing who’re like billy is so racist!!!! btw here’s my blorbo jason#it’s just like ??????? does not compute#like if we’re comparing things that got said in canon. saying ‘there are types of ppl u stay away from and that boy is one of them’ and#saying to a black kids face ‘i thought u were one of the good ones’ like. those are. very on par with one another#like there are 4 characters on this show who made racist comments: troy. mike. billy. jason.#as far as i remember at least those are the Big Ones#and while i understand not liking billy and having his racism be one of your driving reasons behind that#i do NOT understand turning around and liking jason?????#mike okay! yes he was fully microaggressive to lucas but yeah he’s a protagonist#and the show does a lot to try and make u like him. he was younger than billy & jason and they also played that moment off for laughs so#like i get if you can sit there and be like i have no reason to dislike mike wheeler for his racism#troy tbh just doesn’t get any talk in the fandom so idk how ppl feel about him. he IS the only one to fully use a slur but#he’s also 13 and i’ve seen many ppl in the fandom who define morality based on this middle schoolers are learning high schoolers should have#already learned and should be better narrative so i wouldn’t be surprised if i saw ppl defending troy#but billy and jason are. very on par with one another in terms of the micro aggressions they committed and the level of antagonism#so i am just very thrown by seeing ppl hating one and praising the other like#it’s almost like they…… don’t actually care about racism and are in fact nowhere near as anti racist as they believe themselves to be#and instead just use the term ‘racist’ as a trump card to try and win arguments abt characters they don’t like without ever actually#putting any critical thought into this show and the way racism is intertwined into every aspect of it#because surprise!!!! it was written by blatant racists lmfao#fandom wank#i suppose lmao. wank in the tags at least#also to clarify. i think both billy AND jason are compelling and interesting multifaceted characters#they’re both good antagonists and they both present very good looks at The Type Of White Boy You Meet In Small Towns#stranger things
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Spuvspuvsouv not me getting distracted from emotional thoughts by seeing that a gas stations price is a dime down, I don’t even need gas rn
#if you’re wondering what I was thinking about at that specific moment it was about soulmates specifically the YouTube audio ‘what’s a#soulmate’ … the kind where it’s not like relationship related at all just it’s someone you were meant to meet cause they change you#or like make you learn things about yourself or strive to improve#idk guys can you guess who I was thinking about. it’s like embarrassing but I’ve learned a lot about myself recently and… even just that got#me to start something I’d been meaning to do (journaling) but now it’s a intense determination to at least try to make and keep a close frie#nd something that’s been a goal of mine for so long but I guess I’ve been too scared idk how to do that…#this is a post i made#guess what another post that’s actually me saying all of my thoughts disguised as a funny post is coming in a sec
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Growing up is weird
#silver rambles#vent#that post about the ‘how you knew someone else came from money’ is just. sticking with me#mostly cause as a kid I didn’t realize how bad off we were#like. I didn’t realize we got groceries from the food bank run by the church my dad worked at until I was a teen#it just. affected me subtly I guess#being worried about a $2 difference in shoes when I needed new ones because I liked the more expensive ones#and my mom having to convince me that it was fine#it still sticks with me#it’s really hard sometimes to not think about cost if my dad and I go get lunch or something#I’ve never been to another country#meanwhile my friends would go to Rome and Sweden and India and Greece and Mexico for their 12 year old trips#I stayed in the same state for the one with my mom and only went a state over for the one with my dad#but like#yeah. I always sorta knew#I just. couldn’t have told you that I knew#all the little things you didn’t know growing up#I didn’t know about the groceries thing until yeah. I was…16-17 I think#and now we’re much better off and I have my own job (technically two) but like…#hhh.#why is my brain fixating on this? idk#sorry#needed the thoughts out
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#ok ik all the hot take asks are pre much done and the sparkly say smth nice asks are better but well I’ve been having thoughts all day at#work and want to get them out now so that’s what I’m doing lol#obvs for the past few months i think ppl are vv heavily leaning into the dnf /r and I firmly believe that they aren’t#like yes I enjoy being a multi shipper but I still primarily read dnf fics bc they’re cute dnf writers and artists MWAHH ilysm#but it’s been increasingly annoying how every move dnf make ppl hyper obsess over it and ignore everything else like blog what u want this#is tumblr dot com but I think ppl how only see dnf thro the lens of romantic do much more ‘harm’ than ppl who dont#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of#geogre they’re in LOVE and sucking and FUCKING every night. like#and then completely disregard when dnf do and say the exact same shit about all their other friends#like dream has explicitly said they aren’t dating (ignore that tho) amd that’s he’s kissed multiple ppl since coming out (ignore that too)#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic#dnfer but it’s all just For Funsies. another thing is ppl CONSTANTLYYYY putting geohres sexuality under a microscope oh he drinks lemonade#from Starbucks he’s soooo gay like dumb shit like that is so irritating#the fact that geogre has never once talked about his sexuality except that one instance where he got a DONO about it proves how much it#just doesn’t matter or apply to the type of content creator he is/wants to be#to be clear if he is or isn’t or dnf every explicitly announce their romantic relationship im gonna be sooooo happy and supportive like aw#dnfogies🫶🏻 but I think there’s a 99.9% chanve that’ll never happen so maybe we should all just care a Little Less and focus on out lgbt#creators if that’s smth u wanna watch/blog about idk maybe I’m just burnt out from the phandom but whyyyyy does is matter what their#sexualities are they play minecraft who cares who CARESSSS idk maybe just having older brothers around dtqk ages has made me realize that#guys will just act homiesexual no matter What#guys are just Like That and tbc I’m not saying that just bc gnf hasn’t made an official coming out doesn’t mean he’s not queer but for the#sake of his contwnt it doesn’t matter either way ? so why are ppl talking about it on the daily idk man it’s just annoying but Oh Well#at the end of the day they’re all famous white guys and nothing matters hurray !!
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bg3 is one of the only games where i’ve had to take some space away with it due to content. and honestly? i think that’s a good thing
#i’m usually very good at separating my emotions from a character’s emotions/my past from a character’s past#i can probably count the number of movies/tv shows/games i’ve cried because of in one hand (the first one was angel. that finale got me.)#but bg3 is different in that i haven’t cried bc something was too sad/emotionally powerful but that i needed to physically step away#the similarities between astarion and myself became kind of unbearable but in a good way? like it was painful but it was well-done#idk if not for my past of SA i rlly don’t think his storyline would hit that hard to me personally. but because i see so much of myself#in his mannerisms and how he puts on a façade of being hypersexual it just. it just rlly gets me man#and this is GOOD WRITING!! it’s GOOD FUCKING WRITING!! but it’s very bittersweet for me bc i feel like i can relate to his storyline on#another level but it also causes such emotional pain that i wish i could disengage from it. just my thoughts tho#also just wanted to say: i don’t think it was ever confirmed that astarion was assaulted by cazador but he does textually have issues with#intimacy and sexuality as a result of cazador. so obv while our experiences are not the same i think it’s fair to draw parallels as long as#you don’t take implication as fact. anyway.#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#discussion of assault in tags
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i hate that poll that’s like do you say y’all the southern way or the gay way :) what is the gay way lmao
#am i missing something is there something i don’t know bc it sounds like another white gay misattributing aave for gay culture#i’ve literally never heard a gay person say y’all and thought omg gay theyre gay#white gays take anything that’s popular like iced coffee and tote bags and sage green and they’re like yessss gay culture 😗✌️✌️#esp aave i just. idk. what is the gay way !!!!!#u also see non americans saying they say y’all but don’t know where they got it from so they say gay…. ITS AAVE U GOT IT FROM AAVE#aave is so heavily popularized online which is why u may have noticed words like y’all and bro and bruh and simp slipping into ur vocab#and u are too stupid to even notice that ur not black and ur putting on a blaccent and u sound ridiculous!!#everyone is like i didn’t know i said it in a gay way. bc there is no gay way queen hope this helps 🙏#i’m blocking ppl idc this is annoying#anyways.txt
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hiiiii i’m loving your trans sirius fics!! have u ever written trans remus, or would you?
hello thank u! and yes, i have just the one fic that features trans remus. i wrote it for remus’s bday & u can find it here:
i was sinking & now i’m sunk - just a quick lil bookstore meet-cute that somehow ended up with remus making sirius *** his ***** while calling him * ***
#it’s got some of my fave dialogue i’ve written so far#i’ve thought about adding another part to this but idk#wolfstar#wolfstar fic#trans remus lupin#fic: i was sinking and now i’m sunk
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August… time to get spooky.
#dadbots.txt#this has been in my draft for... almost a month. Yikes.#I’ve been dissociating hella hard these past months or something. swear I don’t remember time moving this fast. maybe it’s just me tbh.#idk what to say about July other than… boring? not much happened and I don’t really remember it if I’m honest. just. mm. shrugs.#best way to describe it LOL#been sleeping a LOT lately and I think it’s fatigue again. was it like anything before? no. not at that rate (yet) but just.#where you wanna sleep and sleep and sleep type of fatigue. you never feel rested and just gotta sleep it off kinda.#just one of those moments yknow.#it sucks. all I’m doing is letting the days pass me by and ‘missing out’ on living life when I could be enjoying it. but I lost interest -#- in doing so for months - years now due to personal health matters. And whaddya know - it came back again. after months of healing.#I'm pretty pissed as it does feel like a slap in the face. but you win some - you lose some. Gonna try and fight through it.#I wrote something at the beginning of august but that got deleted. Had a breakdown and thought huh. what a great way to start the month -#and now it's almost september. Just like that. What a month it's been. Stuck on what else to say but that really.#don't want to keep talking about depressing stuff as that's what i used to do and realized hey. maybe you should stop doing that so often#and not use it so casually in humor and/or stuff. Even though I reblog vents here n' all. but yknow.#maybe it is hypocritical. but that's not the point. Just want to reflect and see if i've changed since coming back to the web after a year.#not like it's going bad. just wished this year was a bit more optimistic. Last year was rough & i'm afraid this year will be another repeat#though I did come out to a family member this month and that was like a punch to the gut. Considering my status with them and all.#won't get into that. for now let's just say i'm not too close with them. An impulsive choice on my end but hey. it went well.#and that's what matters tbh. My younger self would've thought i was actually insane. like to even DO that? really?#shocking. I'm still not over that moment. Probably one of my biggest achievements this year.#I'll update this if anything else comes to mind. none of this make sense and that's ok. clearing my mind right now.#let's see what september has in store for me. Hopefully it'll get better as things slow down w/ winter on its way.#hope y'all enjoyed your summer. 🖤🤘🏽
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#actually also#I was thinking abt this bc I can’t sleep and like.#u guys prolly remember my bestie m///ika and I’ve never talked abt it properly but like#we were best friends for abt 6y before she ghosted me bc of a new boyfriend (army guy which is already 🤢 but yeah)#and like before she ghosted officially she basically met another group of girls and a guy online and they all have regular meet-ups and#hang out. which is fine. but it’s such a slap in the face bc they’re like. all rich lol#like they say they’re not but if u can afford regular trips across the country. hotels and restaurants and parties. u are rich#and I already know she’s rich but yeah I thot our friendship kinda looked over class status lmao#but to see her make friends strictly w rich people and suddenly forget all her morals re other stuff has been. hard on me to deal w frankly#I unfollowed her on all socials bc it makes me sick to my stomach knowing that she ghosted me even tho I asked her a few times to just tell#me if she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. bc I saw it coming bc when she made other friends and got the new bf she started pulling#away. and I know ppl grow apart but we never really did. she just decided I wasn’t good enough. completely out of the blue decided to stop#answering my messages. idk#my trust issues skyrocketed since then#we were so close I was supposed to teach in the usa and we were gna move in together like it was that deep#and yeah idk. I think abt it every so often bc. it’s upsetting#like#I thought she cared abt me lmao but#I guess I’m basically only good to make ppl feel good abt themselves and then if anyone else comes along I immediately get ditched#it’s an awful existence to have#mrow.org
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Haha don’t pay me any mind oho
#vent#ok. so#I was! fine for the most part today! but then! idk what happened!#I’m like sad now! depressed? like. I kinda don’t feel real#I think I was giving myself anxiety over thoughts. got really clammy. literally shoveled goldfish crackers into my face#now don’t judge me but#I’ve been looking at things that make me feel bad for like. at least 4 hours now haha..#I dunno man it’s the adhd I got one thought about thing that made me upset and now I’m hours in and my emotions are fried#and. shh don’t tell anyone I feel things but I know have a fantasy of someone I can cry around#whehe how pathetic is that. scraping the bottom of the barrel here looking for another human just let me cry @ you#hmm. how did I go from thinking up poems for valentines only to. feel so cold and alone#I’m not crying. but. I definitely need to later haha maybe this all kickstarted from my two whole hours of sleep last night 😎#mhm so uh. if your reading this with the most cold unfeeling monotone voice then you are exceptionally accurate!i am currently not all here#can’t sleep now tho gotta. do other shit I guess#I’m laying in bed for a second though. my legs were very cold to the touch. unfeeling unhuman#oh and I might be balding potentially but that’s still just a theory. my dad noticed and pointed it out#haha what would I be withought my hair? another germ just populating this Earth?#oho ahh. hm. I’m just a trying to say I don’t fell right now if that makes sense. anyways
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I think I’m failing therapy
#personal fuity shit#I can’t answer my therapist’s questions#I feel like I’m only repeating myself every session#I can’t do the things she asks me to. and I don’t even know why. I just can’t#I don’t exercise. I don’t leave my room. I barely drink water. I have an eating disorder#I honestly don’t know what she could do for me. and I noticed she doesn’t either#maybe I truly am a lost cause#I’m stuck in place. can’t get better and sometimes seems to be getting worse#when I told her I don’t even want to live anymore she kinda got. pissed at me?#she made it sound like ‘being alive only because I don’t want to make my mom sad’ is the most insane and wildest thing she’s ever heard#and that I was crazy to even think about it#as if that wasn’t my only thought for like idk 8 years or so#ALSO she keeps putting my bisexual identity in question every opportunity she gets. like wtf#just because I’ve never hooked up with a girl doesn’t make me any less bi#‘are you truly bi or just curious?’ idk and idc ma’am you’re the one bringing this up and making it look like a problem#I’ve got lots of complaints but. it’s not easy to quit#I’d have to tell my mom an excuse as to why I want another therapist#and looking for a new therapist is just nightmare#I’m just tired. really wish I could think about killing myself more in depth without feeling guilty#thinking about how my mom’s life would be shattered and all the pain I’d cause her gives me goosebumps. it breaks my heart
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Maybe I would play any of the sonic games if they had Carson in them but they don’t so….what do they expect lol. If you want me to play a game you have to put Carson in or I don’t care!!! God when will they fucking LEARN
#btw idk if I’ll be more normal about Carson soon ish coz they upped my meds to highest dose in hopes it might regulate my irrational thought#thoughts* and stuff etc etc so…we will see lol#not BECAUSE of Carson lol but just like everything in general#also I gotta take another test coz they’re like we can’t confirm a disorder but you definitely have autistic traits so that might be#interesting! coz I’ve been wondering for years and I learned that others have too#and bad emotional regulation or something like that?#plus anxiety and depression obvs. but im not complaining abt this coz im getting further to knowing answers of-#-what is wrong with me. which is what I’ve been craving since forever so it’s a huge step forward!#i can’t believe I am where I am now compared to just a year or so ago like it’s crazy#i had a lapse yesterday and was suicidal which was bad but I have an amazing supportive team and im so lucky to have them and they helped#-me a lot and I’m so glad I’ve got the recourse’s I do because if I didn’t im scared to think what I’d be like#so 🙏#sorry random life update ramblings#but im good today yay
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Got curious abt my bndori gender hc ratios so I quickly cooked up a grossly over simplified tier list to compare
#rat rambles#band posting#none gender left beef tier is basically just the tier for the ones who didn’t fit anywhere else lol#I considered putting rui there but he in fact has all gender so like#but yeah you’d think I’d have more of a grasp on yukina gender by now but welp. I sure don’t.#mf is my 3rd fave and I have nothing to show for it 😔#eve is another character that has plagued me gender wise for ages I genuinely do not know what’s up with them#some flavor of nonbinary I think but that’s all I’ve got#and I just haven’t thought abt tae and kokoro gender that much it’s weird idk why#oh and 2 be clear the transfem and transmasc tiers aren’t for like binary trans hcs#like some of the transfem characters are binary trans girls but not all of the#uhhh hi I saved this as a draft like 3 days ago why is it only showing in there now what#anyways so true bestie or not idk tumblr isnt letting me read my other tags
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