#nd something that’s been a goal of mine for so long but I guess I’ve been too scared idk how to do that…

[trash-bin-ary]

Spuvspuvsouv not me getting distracted from emotional thoughts by seeing that a gas stations price is a dime down, I don’t even need gas rn

[scarecrow-forest]

OC Interview!

I was tagged by @amalthemir​  thanks buddy!!!

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same.

I’ll tag @rogue-snorunt​ @marvilus73​

1. What is your name?

“Name’s Jax, Just ‘Jax’, that’ll do.“ *tongue clicking with winks and finger guns*

2. Do you know why are you named that?

“Oh, that’s easy! That was some dude’s name. uh, my old friend, and she’s ghoul btw, That Jax guy, not me, was her friend, before all this bomb shits happened. ...well, actually, I’ve never met him in person, If I did he’d be another ghoul i guess?, but I heard he had a rich brown hair like me! HA! ain’t that awesome? huh? oh he must have been one damn fancy guy, I can feel it!”

(**FYI: that pre-war ‘Jax’ guy was Eternity’s dog. A brown retriever dog. and Jax doesn’t know about it.)

3. Are you single or taken?

"Aw ,man. I actually came here with him! oh, right there. that tall guy with glasses, *waves hands to that guy* HEY, BABE! He’s here with me to make sure I don’t spill some stupid shits.”

4. Have any abilities or powers?

“HA! I made that gorgeous sweet summer sunshine to fall in love with me. That can count as some super power, ay? *receives some directions from tall guy* oh, wait. which one? the sunshine part? WHY? ...fine. Can we scratch that sunshine part out? he’s kinda really very shy, so...“

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“Aw, you. *chuckles, but has no idea who marry sue is*”

6. What’s your eye color?

“it’s kinda whisky color. y’know, but like, when it’s shinning under the sun light-color. Eternity used to say it looks like a tiny piece of cazador’s wing, but I like whisky color more. *tall guy tells Jax it’s ‘amber’* oh that called an amber? yeah, you know what? my babe’s hella smart, so he’s probably right. Amber it is. ”

7. How about your hair color?

“Damn rich brown, just like that before the bomb Jax guy.”

8. Have any family members?

“Ma and pops are long gone. yeah, no need to do that sad faces, it was already a few decades ago, and there’s E, my ghoul buddy. she’s... dunno, she’s badass, one hell of a sharp shooter and no cazadors can fuck with her. so, she should be fine, or... i don’t know, man. hey can I have that sad faces now? I think now is the good time for that.”

“Oh, hey, but I got an awesome gang now! there’s, well, my sunshi-, um, babe there, a good buddy who’s a damn great sniper, tiny and perky friend who likes to punch things, Raul... I think he’s kinda picky tho, also Cass oh man, she makes this moonshine thing and those are just great. Ed-e is an awesome eyebot, they’re, yay big, and round, oh and shoot cool laser. also Rex, my good boy! and there’s a nephew of mine, He’s a really cool kid! oh I wish I could bring some fancy meals he made, man. I think he can do some magic things with foods. those are all so good.“

9. Oh? How about pets?

“dunno... Oh, OH! I heard somewhere, some scavengers take a yao guai with them as a pet? oh man that sounds so crazy. I wish i could do that.“

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like?

“Cazadors and Botflies, man they literally looks like one big hairy ballsack with wings. I mean, I like big hairy ballsacks, dang, my ballsack is also hairy, but COME ON. Cazadors and Botflies are just too nasty. ...*coughing sound from distance* ...oh, okay, we should scratch that ballsack talk out too, dude.”

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

“I... uh, umm. like to read. well, no difficult stuffs tho. a--nd... hmn, like to watch my babe read something.“

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

"Every time I came back from some weird ass place? and my babe, he worried sick every time. mostly It’s because of me. I’m just a big idiot and he’s a kind and smart.... *whispers* sweet summer sunshine. hehe.”

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

“Only someone’s being an ass to me, yeah.”

14. What kind of animal are you?

“Me....? huh, dunno. oh, I think some girl called me Opossum once. eh, but anything’s fine, but cazador and botfly, man.”

15. Name your worst habits?

“Nah, man my habits are all the bests.”

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“My babe, I think? He’s a really great man. Y’know. A bit shy tho. Every single day I’m becoming more of a good man, because of him.”

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

“I’m... what was it babe? oh, I’m Pan, buddy.”

18. Do you go to school?

“what’s ‘school’?”

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“I.... Yeah... haha *sweats* yeah, marry... ha... next question?”

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

“I HAVE THAT? WHOA!!!! NO WAY!”

21. What are you most afraid of?

“Cazadors? and... well, babe's death.”

22. What do you usually wear?

“Leather armor, man. those smells nasty, but pretty comfy. *receives some directions from tall guy* what? NO! THAT’S NOT ME, ARMOR STINKS, YES, BUT NOT ME! BABE! COME ON!!!!”

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

“Is whisky a food? no? oh then, BAKED BANANA YUCCA!”

24. Am I annoying to you?

“WHA?? Nah, dude, not at all!”

25. Well, it’s still not over!

“Is it? *shouts to tall guy* hey babe! you okay? want some coffee? no? ... kay, I think we are good.”

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

“I’m courier class! .... what? no?”

27. How many friends do you have?

“I’m... hmm. Many?”

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

“what pie? Oh- OHH! If there’s a banana yucca pie, I’m in.”

29. Favorite drink?

“A WHISKY”

30. What’s your favorite place?

“Have you ever been to the Zion? DAMN that place is crazy beautiful! my babe and I are gonna go there someday, man.”

31. Are you interested in anyone?

“Ah, He’s right there. hey babe! Love ya! *waves hand to him”

32. That was a stupid question…

“pfft, Nah man. but c’mon! he’s really cute right? actually, that was my pick up line. hahaha. I forgot to use my inner voice. and I said it out loud. *receives some directions from tall guy again* NO, BABE. THAT REALLY WAS MY PICK UP LINE! YES! .... *coughs*...heh... sorry about that.”

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

“I’ll go wherever as long as It’s mirelurks free zone, and centaurs, and no radiation, and... idk, no deathclaws, geckos, and shits and stuffs. aw damn, I’ll be fine if I’m with my babe and friends, man.”

34. What’s your type?

“my type..? hmm... well, smart guy with sassy mouth, looks like sweet summer sunshine, smells like sweet summer sunshine, a bit shy, really noble and has good karma and goal that can even change my whole world. yeah, that’s my type. .... *coughing sound from distance*  No, babe! It’s not you, it’s my type. like in general thing,... WHAT? NO? WHAT OTHER GUY? NO!!! YEAH! IT’S YOU! YES, YES!! .... can we... yeah... like move on? ”

35. Any fetishes?

“uhhhh... no.... I...... ...so.. if I get horny when he’s acting all bossy, does that count as a fetish?”

36. Camping or outdoors?

“eh, dunno. both sounds all fine, i guess. when you wandering around the Mojave, you can’t be so picky, y’know.”

[septic-dr-schneep]

JSE Commission - Stepping Stones

Summary: Commission for @luvstoriesatstoplights2. After a car accident robs him of his legs, his family and his joy, Chase copes through entries in his journal. Perhaps, with time and effort, he can heal through them too.

April 11th

Well…hey there, diary, it’s Chase Brody. That sounds stupid already, but I’m writing with this pen Jackieboy got me, so I can’t go back and fix it. Whatever.

Apparently having a diary or a journal is supposed to be therapeutic. If I need to clear my head, I can just write down whatever I’m thinking about here, put it all out where it’s private and I don’t have to worry about anyone else judging me for it. Jackieboy says it’s gonna help with my healing, but I don’t think he gets it. It’s my legs that need healing and writing here isn’t going to do anything about that. I’m trying it just so he’ll stop bringing it up.

So…I’m supposed to talk about what’s going on in my head. Honestly, it’s the same old stuff kicking up because I’m too depressed to put it all behind me. Yay, me!

I’m not feeling great.

I dreamt about it all again this morning—the same old dream about the crash. It woke me up before Schneep came in, but I tried to look like I was still sleeping. After dreaming all night about those paramedics dragging me out of the van, I didn’t really want his help. Pretty simple to understand. But if I’d let him go without getting me up, I’d have to just lie there and think about the dream for ages until he came back to try again. Who knows when that would be?

I wish it was just a dream, but every time I wake up and I try to turn over to get away from it, I can’t.

I just…

I wish Stacy was with me.

Anyway, Schneep was really gentle today—a lot nicer than yesterday, at least. To be fair, I know I wasn’t exactly cooperative when it came to the whole showering thing. They finally got it fully modified so I can roll in with the chair and Schneep’s been saying for a while that towel baths aren’t “efficient” enough.

He probably just wants me to start becoming more independent, which, yeah, is a good thing, but then he was telling me how much it cost to get it changed. Yeeeah, telling me how much trouble you’re going to for me really helps to boost the self-esteem, buddy. So I told him I was sorry if I took up too much of his precious budget; maybe it would’ve been cheaper if he’d let me try and crawl there. I think I startled him, but that didn’t last long. We got in a big fight about it and…well, let’s just say I never showered.

It wasn’t a good day for either of us. I know it was a misunderstanding and I know I hurt Schneep’s feelings with everything else I said, so I can’t really blame him for biting back. But now he’s being all quiet and tiptoeing around me and I feel bad for making him feel bad about it.

Wow. I guess I did have a lot on my mind.

***

April 23rd

Counseling sucks.

How do they expect me to sit there and talk about everything with this lady who’s walking around on her own two feet? And Marvin’s right there in the room watching! It’s not like I’m going to open up at all with him there, but I don’t want him to leave me alone with her either.

Basically I stalled and went around in circles as much as I could until we ran out of time. I’m pretty sure both of them knew what I was doing, but what’s weird is they didn’t try to stop me. Marv barely said a word at all, and the lady just kept asking questions in this really irritating “patient voice”. Does she practice that every morning? She’s got to, there’s no way she could grate on me that much without putting a lot of effort into it.

Counseling’s never done anything for me. Didn’t stop Stacy either, did it?

The shrink’s voice sounds like hers and I hate it.

***

April 30th

Talked to Schneep and Jackie and I’m trying a different counselor today. We’ll see how it goes.

***

May 17th

The kids finally convinced Stacy to let them call. I cried, I couldn’t help it. Why has she made them wait so long? I’ve missed so much! I HATE FEELING LIKE I’M NOT THERE FOR THEM!

I hate not being there for them.

Connor doesn’t like it at their new school. He says there are bullies, but Brianna’s been trying to stick up for him. Just about gave me a heart attack when she said she got hurt…No nine-year-old should be getting her arm broken at school to protect her brother. What are you thinking, Stacy? Their old school was the best one for them! Oh, but because it’s closer to me and you don’t want to be within a fifty-mile radius of a “burden”, you take them there? Great, awesome, mother of the year!

…Getting off track.

Bri said they decorated the cast to be really pretty. I keep imagining it like the armrests on my chair, with all the smiley faces and heart stickers they put on.

I miss them.

***

June 11th

I can’t do this anymore, I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I CAN’T DO IT, I CAN’T DO IT, I CAN’T

WHY CAN’T I DO ANYTHING ON MY OWN?

I HATE MYSELF

I HATE BEING USELESS

I HATE NEEDING HELP

I HATE EVERYTHING

***

June 12th

Haven’t gotten out of bed. Marv came in to keep me company. I don’t deserve him. I’m pathetic.

He’s asleep now.

I wish I could fall asleep that easily. I wanna sleep without dreaming about it anymore. I close my eyes for one second and all I see is the bridge and the black ice. I hear the kids and Stacy screaming and crying and I can’t move. I can’t do a thing.

I’m tired.

***

July 10th

Showering’s gotten a little easier. Well, no, not easier, but I’m more used to it. Schneep’s pretty proud.

While I was waiting for the water to warm up and he was off getting a change of clothes for me, I turned myself around and tried a wheelie for a minute. That was…actually kinda fun, even if I ran into the counter like an idiot.

I miss doing stunts. I never actually put up a video explaining what happened; I haven’t even gone on to find out if the channel still has any subscribers. Should get to that sometime, just to see.

***

July 24th

Counseling was actually kinda nice today. It was good to get some things off my chest.

He asked if I still felt guilty for needing the others to help me.

It’s weird, but I’m not really sure. It’s just…life now.

***

August 15th

I can’t believe I’m actually considering this.

Marv took me somewhere a few days ago. Said he wanted to show me this amazing surprise and that he knew I’d love it, which is kind of ironic. I reminded him that it was his birthday, not mine, but he said this would be a gift to himself too, if we were lucky. What’s that supposed to mean?

He took me to this paralytic training center and there were a ton of people in wheelchairs there playing sports—swimming, tennis and basketball and volleyball, even horseback riding. I had no idea that was a thing! It was a surprise, that’s for sure. Marvin kept watching me to see my reaction. Yes, Marv, I noticed; you’re not exactly subtle.

I was…I don’t know, maybe a little mad at first. I thought it was his way of saying, “This is where you should be by now! Why haven’t you been making progress like they are?” But we kept watching it all happen and when our guide left us alone for a minute, he looked at me and…he was crying.

He hasn’t cried since the accident. Not that I’ve seen, at least. But before I could ask if he was okay, he asked me, “Is something like this what you might want someday?”

Like he was giving me a choice. I haven’t had a choice to make for myself in a while now, least not when it comes to the chair, so to think that I could somehow choose to end up like those people…To be asked if I wanted to…I’ll be honest, that scared me a little.

I’m still scared, cause…I think it might be.

I think I do want that.

I’m actually considering Bro Average again and it terrifies me.

***

August 22nd

I’m heading back to the studio. I’m probably insane.

***

September 9th

Got the last of the ramps secured today and I think I like them so far. I’ve been doing some more with the wheelies and planning a few different kinds of spins that I can practice.

The crew is pretty happy that I’ve been calling them again, and the others are excited! Well, Jackieboy and Marvin are. Schneep’s nervous, I can tell, but I just have to keep telling him that I want to go somewhere. I want to make myself good for something. Bro Average was the most fun I ever had and I want to have it again, even if it’s different.

Maybe if When I put out my first wheelchair video, Brianna and Connor could see it. <3

***

September 27th

Why does this have to be so HARD? “Oh, sure, I can do all these tricks and do something useful with my life!” That’s it, smart guy, go ahead and break your face and a camera while you’re trying to impress everyone! I’m supposed to know this stuff by now! I’ve been practicing it for weeks!

Why do I even bother setting goals? I’m just gonna fall short like I always do! Too many expectations for half a man, right, Stacy?

Why did I ever think I could do this again?

***

October 7th

It’s eating at me all the time. Everything I did wrong. I’m gonna try it again.

***

November 25th

I LANDED THREE HANDPLANTS! I LANDED THREE HANDPLANTS IN! A!! ROW!!! Tried to make it a fourth, but it didn’t work out. Jackieboy almost tried to help me when he saw me start skidding, but Marvin kept him back. Said I needed to take the hit and get back up, and I did. At least I didn’t cry like a baby this time, haha. Actually, I haven’t done that in a while. It’s felt pretty good <3

Anyway, the video’s coming out tomorrow and I just know everybody’s gonna flip out! I got a comment from Bri and Connor on the last one. I hope they get to watch this one too!

***

December 2nd

The doc brought up something today and it’s so weird…With everything I’ve been doing and planning and thinking about, I hadn’t noticed.

The nightmare’s gone.

I’ve been dreaming of better things.

[lifewithkassie]

New Year, New Me

We’ve all heard that one before, amiright? Some of us have even said it. If you’re like me, you may have gone previous years feeling annoyed at that darling little phrase. Why even is that? I guess that’s a question I can only answer for myself – I can’t speak for us all. Maybe it’s because I’ve had many resolutions in past years only to let myself down by January 2nd. Maybe there’s some jealousy toward the people who were successful with their resolutions from last New Year and I knew they’d be successful once again with the new resolution they’ve proudly posted all over Facebook for themselves. Maybe I get irritated at the cliché of it all. Maybe it’s a little bit of all of those things, but the one thing they DO have in common? Those “reasons,” if we can even call them that – I see them more as excuses now – they’re all on me. I have no one to blame but myself for feeling any of those ways. Typing them out makes me feel even more petty and stupid, because admitting those things makes me seem like a terrible person. Perhaps you’re reading this now and can resonate with everything I’ve just said. If that’s the case, then I have good news for you: This year is different. For me. For you. For us.

 What makes this year different? This New Years Eve, for the first time in my life, I proudly proclaimed new year, new me. Did I post it all over Facebook for the world to see? No, but I also didn’t cringe at every post that I saw about how great 2018 was and how much better 2019 was going to be. Instead, I welcomed those posts with open arms. Seeing everyone uplifted and positive filled me with joy and made my heart happy. What inspired this change in me going into 2019, I can’t quite say; maybe there’s a certain maturity that comes with reaching the ripe old age of 24. But no matter what the cause, this is a change for the better that I can feel good about.

 (Before I get too ahead of myself, it’s entirely possible that my newfound positivity and burst of energy is riding on the high spectrum of the depression wave that I tend to ride. I’m telling myself that that is okay – I am going to ride it for as long as possible and if there’s a crash, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. That’s the end of this disclaimer. Thanks for letting me be honest with you.)

 If you’ve read this far into my rambling of thoughts, I know you’re probably thinking – “well, did you make a new year’s resolution or not?” In a way, I guess I did. And if you didn’t, you can too; it’s not too late. I’ll even let you steal mine. Are you ready?

In 2019, I’m choosing to be happy. For someone who ‘hated’ the cliché of it all, that seems a little hypocritical, don’t you think? That’s ok, too. I’m embracing the cliché. Say it one more time with me to really drive it home: In 2019, I’m choosing to be happy.

 Of course that’s easier said than done. Most things in life are. But I have made a very conscious decision to live this year for myself. I’m terrible at doing things for myself – maybe you can relate to that too. The depression wave I mentioned earlier? That comes with high and low tides of severe anxiety, as well. I am terrible at decision-making. I am terrible at even the mere thought of disappointing other people in my life. I am terrible at putting myself first. I live in a constant state of worrying what other people will think of my actions, my lifestyle, and me as a person in general. Sound familiar? I hope not. But if it does, welcome to 2019: the year of being honest with ourselves. The year that we stop envisioning the people we would like to be – 2019 is the year that we become that person for ourselves. Don’t you think we owe ourselves that much?

 So let’s talk about what’s making this year different for me.

 I’ve started this blog.

This is a huge step for me. I actually ~made~ this blog months ago with the intention of starting to post things that probably nobody actually cares about. The idea of someone actually reading this extensive word-vomit that I’ve just plucked from the ramblings in my brain is terrifying. I suppose that might be kind of the point; in a way, I’m killing two birds with one stone. Is there not a quote somewhere in the universe that says, “If it scares you, it’s probably worth doing”? I think that’s a thing, and this definitely scares me. On the flip side, word-vomiting this all out helps to make sense of the thoughts flying through my head. I have to give myself props for the balance of it all. While it’d be cool if someone did read this and maybe even took something away from it, this blog is largely for myself and I have made the decision to try and post one blog weekly. That shouldn’t be too difficult, right? Stay tuned.

 I bought a fancy planner.

Yes, I know, lots of people buy planners. Some people use them, some people don’t. I absolutely fall into the category of people who buy fancy planners and do not use them. But what’s our new motto? This year is different. I’ve already sat down and filled my January section with all of my appointments, important birthdays, and even my meal prep for the entire month. Which brings me to the next item on the list…

 I’m eating clean.

This is something I yo-yo with more than I’d like to admit over the course of the year. Sometimes I have stretches where I am super good about it, and then there are other (much longer) stretches where I eat like an asshole on the regular. I am by no means going to go crazy and plunge my body into ketosis or become vegan overnight [zero hate for the awesome people who live those valid lifestyles], but I am going to be much more conscious of the way I treat my body. That means things like getting all of my veggies in during the day, drinking plenty of water (but not too much, because that is a ~thing~ I struggle with – do not judge me), and of course…

 I’m taking my fitness seriously.

I love going to the gym. Honestly, I’m not just saying that. But much like my eating habits, I’m just not very consistent. Chalk it up to laziness or…well, no, laziness is pretty much the only thing I can think to blame it on. Regardless, I have been going to the gym since my high school years. This year, however, I am making it a point to be consistent. Like I said earlier, I’m being very self-aware in the way that I treat my body these days and, let’s just be truthful here, my body is overwhelmingly happier when I exercise. That’s a simple fact that some of us tend to blissfully ignore or lie to ourselves about. But c’mon – exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you feel happy, and in 2019 we’re choosing to be happy. Remember?

 There you have it. Maybe I didn’t post my resolution or my goals to Facebook for family and friends to see, but I did just lay them all out for you here. (Maybe not all of them, I’m sure more small goals will pop up. It is only January 1st, after all.) Getting back to the idea of this whole blogging thing – if you’ve made it this far, I truly thank you. I thought writing this would be difficult, and instead the words just kept flowing until here we are, so many words later. I haven’t yet decided what the focus of my blog posts will be about. Truthfully, I can’t promise that they will follow any sort of theme. But I’ll tell you what, I will make it a point to keep you updated on this resolution of mine throughout the year. I did say that I’d like to post at least once a week, though, so I better start thinking up more topics pretty quickly. I’ll come up with something else that probably nobody actually cares about, I promise.

 One more time before I wrap this up:

In 2019, we are choosing to be happy.

 Don’t forget it. Write it on your bathroom mirror or tape it to the front of your fridge. If we say it enough, maybe we can at least trick ourselves into believing it.

  Talk to you soon.

K

[somethingsohappily]

1-50! Please 😘🍁

1. Go apple picking V.S. Going on a hay rideI have never been on a hay ride so probably that, just because I have goneapple picking! 

2. Scary V.S. SweetSo I thought this was about candy and I was like ‘how can candy be scary?”but maybe this means costumes? Scary is better! 

3 Sweaters V.S. BootsUmmmmmm oh geez this is hard cause I love both. Sweaters probably just becausethey’re so cozy. I love boots though, which reminds me mine had holes in themand i need to get new ones. 

4. Socks V.S. MittensSocks! 

5. Bonfires V.S. FootballBonfires 100%, I don’t understand football… 

6. Trick or Treating V.S. Watch Scary moviesPersonally I like watching scary movies best because im a little too old fortrick or treating. BUT. I love trick or treaters and giving out candy andseeing all the kiddos in costumes, cause that’s the best!! 

7. Apple Pie V.S. Pumpkin PieBoth are good, basically i really like pie of any kind. 

8. Halloween V.S. ThanksgivingHalloween!!!!!! I don’t really understand Thanksgiving and I know it’s a day to be thankful but I feel like you should be in general, and probably not on a day that we celebrate taking over someone elses land. And also i don’t eat Turkey so like the food appeal isn’t really there. ANYWAYS. 

9. Bake Pie V.S. Bake CookiesBake cookies because I know how to do that. I think I’ve only made pie once(we’re lame and get pie at costco so homemade isn’t really a familything) 

10. Rain V.S. FogRain, but if it’s rainy AND foggy out it’s even better!

11. Black Cats V.S. OwlsCats are the most important creatures and i love them. 

12. Ghosts V.S. WizardsUghhhhhhhhhh ummmmm ghosts because ghosts as a concept fascinate me. But HarryPotter exists so i also love wizards a lot. 

13. Harry Potter V.S. HalloweentownHarry Potter always and forever. BUT Halloweentown is definitely a movie Iwatch during the fall! 

14. Go Hiking V.S. Sleep inProbably go hiking, I can’t really sleep in anyways and I’d rather be out withall the leaves changing color. 

15. Cinnamon V.S. NutmegCinnamon! 

16. Reading V.S. WritingReading because my writing skills are not great/im not that creative. 

17. Hot Chocolate V.S. TeaHot Chocolate! I’m not a tea person! 

18. Live in a Cabin In a Forest V.S. Have it be fall 24/7Ummmmmmmmmmmm okay so I love fall the most but I also think if it was fall 24/7i might appreciate it less. So I guess a cabin in the forest with regularseason so that I can continue to appreciate fall when it comes. 

19. Candy Apples V.S. Caramel ApplesI haven’t had either of these?? I’ve had those lollipops that are like greenapple with caramel, but I think that’s the closest I’ve gotten to either ofthose. Maybe this year that’s the goal. 

20. Blankets V.S. PillowsBlankets! Also I wish I had more furniture because a blanket fort and scarymovies would be amazing and i want to do that. 

21. Roasted marshmallows V.S. Roasted ChestnutsMarshmallows! I think I may be allergic to chestnuts? I havent had one and Ijust feel like I should be wary of eating them, regardless of if I’ve mostlyoutgrown that food allergy. 

22. Coffee V.S. Apple CiderCoffee! 

23. Red Leaves V.S. Orange LeavesBoth!! Together!! 

24. Braids V.S. BowsUmmmmm neither? I dont have an opinion on this! 

25. Scented Candles V.S. The Smell of Fresh Baked GoodsBaked goods, but I do love a fall candle! Which reminds me, everyone needs to keep me out of Bath and Bodyworks because I have too many candles and don't need more 

26. Carve Pumpkins V.S. Make Pumpkin PieCarve pumkins!! I need to talk to karen and see if she wants to do that thismonth! 

27. Pumpkin Spice Lattes V.S. Chai Tea LattesPumpkin spice!! But not from Starbucks cause their’s aren’t that great! 

28. Coats V.S. Oversized SweatersOversized sweaters cause I like when the sleeves are long and I can pull themover my hands or be a weirdo and wave them around. 

29. Beanies V.S. BeretsBeanies, tell Harry and Niall to stop wearing berets. 

30. Candy Corn V.S. Peanut Butter CupsPeanut Butter Cups, candy corn is just okay… 

31. S'mores V.S. Apple CrispApple crisp, especially my mom’s! Its the best and I should see if she would want to make some or at least give me the recipe so I can pretend i know what I’m doing.  

32. Jump In a Pile of Leaves V.S. Swing on a Tire SwingTire swing because im always worried about bugs in piles of leaves, and usuallyin WA the leaves are wet and that’s less satisfying to jump into! 

33. Corn Maze V.S. Haunted HouseCorn maze because i am a baby and get scared in haunted houses. (even though iused to go ghost hunting sooooooo logic?) 

34. Bob For Apples V.S. Visit a Pumpkin PatchPumpkin Patch, I have never wanted to put my face into a bucket of water just to try and catch fruit in my mouth, andprobably never will. 

35. Whipped Cream on Hot Chocolate V.S. Marshmallows on HotChocolateMarshmallows and hot chocolate, though whipped cream is really good. Can therebe both? also sprinkles. Is that too much for hot chocolate? That’s basically a cup of sugar. 

36. The smell of pumpkin guts V.S. rotting leaves?Pumpkin guts! 

37. Sweet V.S. salty pumpkin seeds?I actually haven’t had pumpkin seeds, I think my mom was worried I’d beallergic and then I just never tried to eat them.

38. Store bought V.S. pumpkin patch pumpkins?Pumpkin patch but store bought is just fine!

39. Wool V.S. knit sweaters?Knit ones, especially if they’re Weasley sweaters.

40. Halloween party V.S. exploring haunted places?Exploring haunted places, though a Halloween party maybe if I felt like we’dget in trouble for trespassing somewhere. Also Halloween costumes arefun. 

41. Candy corn V.S. mellowcreme pumpkins?What is a mellowcreme pumpkin?? OH. I just googled. Um I guess candy corn, Istill am not a huge fan of either. 

42. Apple cider donuts V.S. pumpkin donuts?Apple cider donuts sound better. 

43. The Nightmare Before Christmas V.S. Hocus pocus ?Hocus Pocus, I haven’t seen that in forever which is a shame! 

44. Scary costume V.S. something silly?Scary costume, I like dressing up as dead things. 

45. Still, silent nights V.S. rainy, windblown ones?Rainy windblown ones where I’m safe in my apartment! 

46. Monster movies V.S. their classic novels?Ummmmmm monster movies because i can’t focus long enough to read. 

47. Witches V.S. ghosts?Ghosts! But Witches are also cool and i respect what they’re doing!

48. Raking leaves V.S.climbing trees?Climbing trees, even if that is rarely successful and I’m a little afraid of falling out of the tree. But raking leaves is like a chore… sooooooo no. 

49. Ouija boards V.S. ghost stories around a campfire?Ghost stories around a campfire! I’m with my dad on this one, I’m not bringing Ouija boards anywhere near where I live or go because I just don’t need to risk that thank you. 

50. Frankenweenie V.S. The Corpse Bride?The Corpse Bride! Though I’ve never seen Frankenweenie! Thanks babe :) 

[meltedmagazine]

AN INTERVIEW WITH IAN RIDENHOUR

I spent the weekend with alternative rock soloist Ian Ridenhour and his band as they prepared for and performed at Panoply Music Festival in Huntsville, Alabama. Ian took on the main stage of the downtown art festival at 3:45 PM, and was the first performer of the day to play original music. His energetic set lasted until around 5:00 PM. Afterwards, we hung out for a few hours as I photographed him and his recently-added vocalist Rain Lupia on my Nikon F3 Camera with a roll of 400 ISO Kodak gold film. In fact, I took photos of Ian and his band (which comprised of Ian Ridenhour, Rain Lupia, Jameson Ridenhour, James Kylen, and Brennan Dugan) over the span of three days: the Friday before, the Saturday of, and the Sunday after. On Friday, I loaded up my camera with 24 exposures of Holga black and white film and shot relaxation after preparation. After finishing that roll on Saturday morning, I decided to go with my tried and true Kodak gold film. On Sunday, as we drove away from Huntsville and back to our town of Asheville, I kept the gold in my Nikon and shot some frames at rest stops and gas stations.

Who are you?

Some asshole. Naaah I’m Ian Ridenhour. I’m a 16 year-old, Asheville-based musician. I’ve been playing music for about ten years. This is what I’ve always done, this is what I always want to do.

What are your roots? When did you begin writing, playing with a band, and performing?

I was primarily a drummer. At age one and a half or two, I started beating on pots and pans, really more around three I guess. Just pretending to be Mick Fleetwood from Fleetwood Mac. I loved it. For my fourth christmas, my parents got me a drum set and I took off. I played drums all the time, it was my favorite thing to do. When I was around six, my dad decided it would be fun to start playing in a band. My dad and I played as a duo for a while, just doing tiny little shows, and it was more of a novelty than anything else, like “Look at this six year old kid who can play the drums! Isn’t that cool?” And then, at age seven I wrote my first song, which is difficult without a melodic instrument. It’s really really hard. When I wrote that first song I knew I had to learn something else so that I was able to songwrite, as well. It took me forever not just to write it but to explain what was happening in my head. So I taught myself piano at age eight or nine. I fell in love with the piano. And just as a band leader, that’s much easier to write and perform on.  That has become my main instrument recently. We added a saxophone player to the band that my dad and I were in. We called it “Blind Mice”. We played around Bismarck, ND where I was living at the time. Super fun. Later on i was paying with different bands and experimenting more with different combinations of musicians and started working as a solo artist around age 13 or 14.

Right, because you wrote some songs for your first album at that time, around 13 or 14?

Yeah, I recorded the first album in 2014, and the first song off of the album, Along the Lines of Fairytales, I recorded when I was 14 and wrote it when I was 12. It wasn’t the first song I ever released but we’re going to pretend like that first song never existed.

What do you want out of music/ the music industry? What does success look like to you?

Man, it could be a lot of different things. Honestly, right now, I’m just having fun. Music is so much fun, and playing with the people that I play with is just a gift. I feel really truly honored to be able to play with such incredible musicians and have people feel like my music is worth listening to. It feels so good, being on stage feels so good. Ultimately, as long as I’m doing that, I’m going to be happy. The goal is to, y’know, I want to be touring, I want to be playing on a bigger level, for wider audiences across the country and the world. I’ve always wanted to travel with my music. Honestly, the music industry, especially in Asheville, is incredibly kind and welcoming and supportive and I just want to be a part of it. And I’m really happy that I am.

Asheville! What’s the music scene like there?

It’s super kind and compassionate. There are so many talented musicians, and in towns where you’ve got so much talent, it’s hyper competitive. When you get into towns with bigger music scenes, everyone is looking out for themselves. And I can’t really blame them for that, I get it. In Asheville, it’s so not that vibe at all. Everyone is so kind and generous and want s to support each other.I feel like I've said that in three or four different phrasings already, but it’s true! All of the people in the scene here are just the most compassionate people. They’re so willing to accept you into their environment, an take your under their wing. As a younger musician where it’s traditionally much harder to get into venues, and harder to be treated as a professional, it’s a gift to have such a wonderful community around me. And these guys are crazy talented. Asheville is just full of killer players. It’s a blast playing with them.

What bands/artists influence your sound the most?

Like everything? Haha! The obvious comparisons that a lot of people make are Ben Folds, Billy Joel (to a degree). There’s some weirder influences. One of the quotes that we use in press kits is, a friend of mine described my sound as “like Jack White and Ben Folds had a baby”. I listen to a lot of -- honestly it’s harder to describe specific influences and more just things that I listen to. I feel like I try to incorporate little pieces of everything that I listen to into my music. So, The Accidentals, for sure. Elbow is an influence, Fall Out Boy, Panic at The Disco, all of the emo bands that everyone used to listen to. I still listen to them. But they’ve got merit to them. They’ve got interesting songwriting, and that style is something I take from. Even bands like Twenty-One Pilots or whatever. My sound is nothing like them. But lyrically, they’re very interesting. I take from Icarus the Owl, in terms of rhythmic feel. I listen to Alt-J, July Talk, Dead Sara, Wolf Alice, I just try to listen to  a lot of different styles. I listen to--  I’m sure I could go on for hours -- older bands, too, like I grew up on The Police, Rush, and stuff like that. That was definitely an influence.

I saw a guy, in the audience of the band who performed before you at Panoply, who had a Rush T-Shirt on --

Doing all of the air drumming! Dude that was awesome. I love people like that. He was super cool.

Tell us about the “National Public Mother Fucking Radio” sticker on your piano. What does it mean to you?

That was a birthday gift from David LaMotte. It was a birthday show I was playing at the White Horse, and he was guesting on the set. I’m friends with BJ Leiderman who composes a fair amount of the National Public Radio theme songs.  He’s a super cool guy. David is friends with him, and he’s a part of the community. David thought it would be funny to give me that sticker for my birthday. I loved it! I stuck it on my piano. I’m want to get more sticker for my piano. So if you have any cool band stickers and you want to send them my way, anyone who is reading this, please do.

You mentioned the White Horse. Is that your favorite venue or do you have any other venues that you love?

Oh yeah, absolutely. Each venue has its merits, and there’s definitely things that I like about other venues in Asheville but The White Horse has always been a home for me. I live really close to there, I’m really really good friends with the owners, I helped run social media there for a while. The White Horse is so cool. They've got such a welcoming environment. They do so much for the community. They are absolutely incredible. If you’re in Asheville, and the white horse is a bit of a drive, you should still go. It’s worth the drive. It’s a great sounding room. My band sounds the best they ever do in that room.

You recently added another singer, Rain Lupia, to the mix. Why did you decide to incorporate another voice? How’s it been with another vocal performer alongside you?

I have always worked with vocalists. I have always liked working with vocalists. I’ve been doing that since I first started out as a solo artist. I’d have people come in and guest on a couple of tunes, and it was more convenience than anything. I’ve thought about adding harmonies for a while, but I’ve never had a consistent singer to do that because I’ve been working around with other people. But Rain lives close, she knows the music, and she sounds awesome on it. So it was more of a logical step. And it’s great. I love having the backup vocals. It’s great. And I want to add more as we work with her more. It’s really super fun having that extra piece to the band.  

How was Panoply?

It was fun! It was super fun. I had a lot of fun. It was so hot, man it was really hot. But it was fun! Yeah it was not exactly what I expected but I’m not really sure what I expected so that’s not really an accurate reference point. But the crowds were great, the people were really friendly, the art was super cool. It was a lot of fun walking around and seeing everything that was going on. I saw a martial arts display where they were breaking through wooden boards that had “bullying” and “peer pressure” painted on them, which is a cool little touch, I saw a street magician pull a specific card out of a deck with his mouth and fold it over in his mouth, my drummer almost bought a shark on a stick. Outside of the actual festival itself, which was super cool, it was a blast. It was the biggest stage I’ve ever performed on. I was super honored to be there. We’ve never really played festivals before. It was great. I got to perform in front of a lot of my family who had never seen me perform before. My cousin was going to go to a wedding and ditched at the last second because she wanted to see me perform.

That’s dedication. And that’s dedication for you, too. You’re at a point now to where you and your extended family will drive six hours to perform.

Yea! I’ve been out of school for several years now, and this is just what I've always wanted to do. The fact that we get to do it now is just -- well my dad is in the band, my mom is essentially my manager. I don’t think its ever really been a question that if we could do it we would do it. It’s wonderful to have their support, and I’m really grateful that they made the drive. Because, y’know, I’m not driving at all, I’m just sitting in a car for six hours, which is easy for me.I get to sleep! But yeah we’re really committed to this and we want to see it go far.

Do you listen to more tangible means of music, like cassettes, records, or CD’s or are you more of a digital guy?

Y’know, I really am more of a digital guy. I understand the merit of the older stuff, an I’ve always been fascinated by the analog vs. digital argument. Overall, digital is much easier. It allows me to store more music with me at a time. It’s primarily convenience. I just love having my iPod with a ton of music on me. I do most of my recordings for other musicians [who will play in the band]  on my voice memos to just send it over, I’ve got the album on there, which we were listening on the way down [to Panoply] to get familiar with it. We’ve also got CDs, and my family does listen to records in the living room,  which is super fun. I get the appeal of records, it’s a much warmer sound. It provides a good atmosphere, and it’s an experience. Digital music is more . . . it’s anywhere, it’s anytime, it’s more flexible.

An artist, album, or song that makes you feel a heavy dose of nostalgia?

Fall out Boy. I listened to Fall out Boy in my senior year of high school. And that was right before I moved to North Carolina, so it was with all of my friends in North Dakota. It was just a blast hanging out and just blasting Folie à deux. It brings me back to them, and the people that I miss there. Rush.  I grew up listening to Rush. Listening to Rush brings me back, which has its pros and cons. I usually don’t reminisce about my childhood, but it’s cool to be transported back to there.

Based on that, would you call yourself more of a nostalgic guy, or are you more forward-driven?

It’s always been drive forward. Not to be shitting all over your focus on nostalgia, but nostalgia for me just makes me sad. I lived in North Dakota for ten years, and I made a lot of friends there. Still, a lot of that nostalgia is like “aww . . .  I miss those people.” But it’s easier for me to focus on the forward. There’s a lot that’s happening in the near future, and it’s overwhelming if I don’t think about it. Not that nostalgia is bad. I’ll still play Magic the Gathering now and then, and remember “aww. . . I used to do this all the time in high school.”

What’s next for Ian Ridenhour?

After I get back, I've got three shows lined up in the next two weeks, and it’s finals week at UNCA. So shit’s crazy. But it’s fun. I’m going to keep goin’, keep playing shows, I’ve got to look at college tours soon. I’m just sort of seeing where everything takes me. I want to keep booking shows, for sure, and continue to play with people. I don’t know if and when I’m recording again, but I’ve got a lot of new music that I would love to record, so hopefully that’s in the future. We’ll see where it goes.Tune in, to, y’know, my website! It’s just my name. ianridenhour.com

LISTEN TO IAN RIDENHOUR HERE INTERVIEW + PHOTOS by AUDREY KEELIN