#idk I like to fuck around
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redraw of a luard from high school lmaoooo
#to ABSOLUTELY no one’s surprise I am a shadow paladin luard main#this didn’t turn out that well BUT it’s better than the one from high school so#win I guess#luard#dragheart Luard#cardfight vanguard#cfv#this is also a combo of like.#multiple cards’ luard designs#idk I like to fuck around
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the thing about trying to recommend fiction podcasts to someone who isn't familiar with them is that not only are so so many genres represented but also the level of production can fall anywhere from "basically an audiobook" to "major motion picture minus the pictures"
#original#idk just something i think about sometimes#you can read a description to get a sense of the genre/plot/vibe but you truly dont know What exactly youre getting into till you listen#with nonfiction podcasts it tends to be easier to get a read on whether its gonna be like. some buddies fucking around with a mic#or more like a whole documentary#or with fiction books there can be different framings but the actual makeup of the thing is almost always the same#idk what im saying at this point i need to stop putting so much bullshit in tags#whatever#audio drama
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last semester i wasn’t doing well in a very important class i needed to pass in order to graduate so i was working my ass off writing essays and shit and every time i started slacking i would bring up this image and i’d say “ah fuck you’re right vash i really need to keep working” and then i’d write for another two hours and i actually managed to pass and graduate and i honestly don’t know if i would’ve been able to without this picture. thank you vash
#i wanted to share this story i think it’s really funny#like ‘yeah i owe about 70% of my college graduation to an image of vash telling me to stop fucking around’#talking#trigun#this is actually 100% true btw /srs#after 14k notes i feel the need to clarify that i did not intentionally bring this image up when i started fucking around#but he always seemed to find me. like when i looked at pics he was there. watching me. saying this. idk if that makes this funnier
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ok ok ok I get it now I get why everyone was telling me to watch this oh my GOD
#whoever wrote the french subtitles : I love you and I'm forever in debt to you before the laws of god & men#dear LORD you guys are not fucking around#thank god for the russian valois#a fruity chicot and a henri that looks like a long sad bean what more does a girl need#also idk how to explain but they found people who look french like I believe it#chicot ? could be my uncle#lddm#watchalong#grafinya de monsoro
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ordered yaoi and got served yuri wtf
#quick! post an old de art to fill the multifandom quota#yeag this was like over a month ago idk y i havent post it#i was just fucking around w this so everything looks lowq wonky#disco elysium spoilers#de spoilers#disco elysium#de#ruby the instigator#klaasje amandou#rubyklaasje#tw gun#<- i think??#digital art#fanart#tw suicide
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feetman
#hlvrai#half live vr but the ai is self aware#gordon freeman#gordon feetman#so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne#but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy#cause like to me#a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like#no actual stakes#dude is getting pissed for the sake of it#he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know#now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing#or how he got the game#is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows!#hes The Player#also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons#its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao#also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit#and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi#i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis#sorry for long tags
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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Perceptive kid, I wonder just how much they pretend not to overhear.
#ignooore that a5 bonnie doesnt get the nice resolved versions of their discussions with sif.. i still think they can navigate it eventually#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#the dialogue in this kicked my asssss. trying to balance loop's evasiveness and layered meaning...#to spell it out: it's not that loop is actually *that* worried they'll hurt bonnie. it's that they think siffrin is being a fucking idiot#and being extremely sloppy in their protection of their party by trusting them to not be a loose cannon. THEY simply wouldn't#be that irresponsible if it were them!!! hmph!!! ... because they care. and because they maybe Are a little worried.#they don't want that responsibility. they gave that all up. stop making them responsible again. stop stop stop#and as for the other half of the meaning here: get called out idiot. not on purpose of course. bonnie doesn't know (yet).#but it's a brisk reminder of the hypocrisy (since even if loop makes sly reference to their identity to sif all the time... one must wonder#how often it actually sinks in that that's true....? it must be hard to get your head around when you refuse to admit that your habits and#demeanor have changed so drastically since then. like wtf thats not what i would do! clearly a different guy ! faker !! and yet...)#but yeah idk i think about loop and bonnie's relationship a lot. the one party member i dont think loop could ever bring themselves to be#mean to. because cmon. thats a kid. but still... the emotional distance probably stings even worse than usual.#and once bonnie finds out.... ! well. that emotional distance probably stings. even worse. than usual.
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Okay shout out to the adults who were suicidal during their younger years and fully thought they weren't going to live long enough to be the age they are now, and now don't know what to do in life. Shout out to the adults who don't have many friends, who don't have anyone to hang out with often. Shout out to adults who are lonely and struggling, and scared. Shout out to the adults who struggle to leave their house. Shout out to the adults who still live with their parents. Shout out to the adults who never got to experience all those things shown in coming of age movies and shows. Shout out to the adults who have never kissed anyone, been in a relationship or had sex, and everyone around you seems to think its weird that you haven't. Shout out to the adults who feel younger than they actually are, and don't know how to be an adult. Shout out to the adults who hoped to have been better now. Things are fucking difficult and suck, but I genuinely believe that we are going to be okay one day
#maybe overly specific to me but fuck it. i wanted to make a positivity post like this#bc it feels like the people around me are doing way better than i am and it sucks#i am only 23 (gonna be 24 this year) so i know theres still time for everything but it still feels like i should be in a different place#than i am now#i should be better than this so idk#shoutout
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go read Memento Nori and Like the Stars and What Friends Are For and just generally all of Ad Astra Per Aspera by LadyDaybreaker on ao3
#peak fiction#two of these are like 3/4th retelling of the actual episodes#but they add so many little details and changes and i love it#little things that explain why characters act the way they do later and all that#its all good its like 341k words total if you ignore parts 6 7 and 8#best part is#of course#lizzy and uzi and thad fucking around with a laser pointer#idk im just obsessed with murder drone fics its more of all my blorbos#opacity is my best friend i love opacity i love fucking with it#non anti aliasing is also my best and worst friend. i love the pixels but its terrible when trying to draw small#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones lizzy#murder drones thad#murder drones n#murder drones v#serial designation n#serial designation v#is that the most characters i've had in a single post? who knows#also for you fuckers in the last post. if i connected those letters i would have been rendered incapable of reading my own fucking post#i cannot read it if i cant tell where one letter ends and the next begins
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the worsties ever
#laurance is only dressed like that cus in my brain this took place during season 2??? I was being bitter abt how Laur wasnt in LLP#and then made this for some reason#i also just think hed definitely post pictures shirtless for literally no reason#like if someone suggested taking a picture he'd take it off#Uhm anyway ignore the squipples it was a moment of weakness#not ship but do whatever you want#beverly says stuff#aphmau#mystreet#aphmau mystreet#laurance mystreet#zane mystreet#laurance zvahl#zane ro'meave#bev draws#im still fucking around with Laurance's colours btw i NEVER oclour anything so altho the way i draw him is pretty set-#idk abt colours for anyone yet#+overlay#so if they change thats whyyyy#aphverse#aphblr
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yet another abandoned painting attempt..
#ganondoodles#zelda#art#tloz#loz#demise#i guess#idk#the plants are decent#but im sure if i added a simply lined random witch or sth it would go around the whole website lmao#cant help but try to put him everywhere#even if its to the arts detriment lol#cant seem to able to paint anything i like these days ...#the perspective is fucked but idc to work anymore on it
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ink
#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#dinners#I wasn't feeling too good abt this one until I fucked around with it a little idk. it's just different from what I usually make#I was going to color it but I feel like its meant to look this way. ok byye
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Charles' thing is that he wants to feel alive and that's part of the reason why he decided to never move on to the afterlife right? Meanwhile Edwin thinks Charles will move on and that he'll be alone again because 'he isn't good with people'.
But then when the Night Nurse shows up a second time Charles is ready to go wherever -including Hell- as long as Edwin shouldn't have to go back there, meanwhile Edwin refuses that they be split up, and both are okay with being sent together to the Lost and Found Department to be sorted out later as long as they're together-
#does this make sense#like#charles -> stay on earth#then charles is like -> fuck earth edwin n°1#edwin -> stay out of hell and wander alone ig#then edwin -> stay with charles#although you can argue that charles wanted to stick around the one dude that was nice to him since the start but like#idk how to explain it#he'd rather argue for edwin's case than argue to stay on earth#edwin not going back to hell is his main goal in the discussion#meanwhile edwin's goal is that they stay together + that he doesn't go back to hell#i do wonder what it would've looked like if they'd gone to the lost and found department#do they try to escape it#does charles find out where he was headed#anyways another day of being very normal about this show#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#paynland#payneland#i know that charles' whole motivation isn't just that he wishes he were still alive and that he wish he hadn't had his life stolen from him#but my thoughts are not coherent enough for any type of deep character analysis essay and i would probably mischaracterize him horribly#wonder what was edwin's plan when he came out of hell cuz he went back to his highschool so was he just doing a bit of visiting#“oh hello place where i died”
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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