#idk I just have a lot of feeling about it and I. think it’s p beautiful it’s just good okay

[idontmindifuforgetme]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

[deoidesign]

I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.

same disability (waving hand emoji)

Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me

[saturnz-skiez]

I love nope I love thinking about how every single action Jupe makes drives the plot but that’s not the case for anyone else. They can have character quirks and small side discussions, they can do things for the sake of character depth or dynamic development. Why does Em vape? It shows off her more carefree and laid back personality and approach to life, but also why not? Why does OJ mention “hobby weed”? To demonstrate how he doesn’t center making money in everything he does, unlike Jupe, but also why not? Why is Angel on a VR headset in that one scene? Because the game dialogue is literally describing the plot, but also why not? That kind of stuff. Sure it has some tiny significance, but it’s also there just for fun!

But there is nothing Jupe does in his limited screen time that isn’t important. He cannot just be a person. Every action he takes is for the sake of the bigger picture. We don’t really know who he is because nothing shows off who he is outside of a cruel and ignorant businessman with unresolved trauma bleeding through into said ignorance and cruelty. But also everything he does is inherently tied to Jean Jacket, the very thing that kills him.

• He buys the horses for Jean jacket, he wants the ranch for the horses and also to show off a sort of capitalistic greed and ignorance present in his character that aligns with how he treats animals.

• He drops by the Haywood’s fence after they steal the horse to show his hyper focus on his business over all else, which is a trait exhibited in his treatment of Jean jacket. and also so he can invite them to the star lasso experience and foreshadow it. His feigned indifference to the stolen horse also adds more depth to the kids pranking OJ, which Jupe likely told them to do. He exerts this weird superiority over them (probably because he has more money than them) and makes them think he doesn’t care before setting his children off to bother them and endanger their animals. This trait is important to how he treats things he thinks he can control likely because he sees them as below him, like Jean Jacket. Both these scenes progress the plot and are set up directly before the reveal of Jean jacket.

• He's shown spacing out and practicing his lines one more time with Amber because A. He has trauma and the flashback is necessary for the film, and B. Because he is secretly terrified and the audience should know that he’s aware of how bad things at the Star Lasso Experience could go and do end up going. The opportunity to capitalize trumps his genuine fear for his and his family’s life.

• Even when he talks about the Gordy’s Home incident to the Haywoods, this helps them better understand his mindset toward and treatment of dangerous animals, value of spectacle over serious discussion, and his treatment of Jean jacket leading to his death. Which then helps them get a better handle on how to treat it themselves as seen when the Haywood siblings, angel, and antlers sit down and talk about their plan and OJ brings up how Jupe went about it. Therefore this progressed the plot.

He cannot even speak about his emotions without urging on the invisible story and barriers that have always been placed around his life without him even knowing. This might just be me going crazy but the narrative itself is quite literally a thematic element and metaphor.

[13eyond13]

One of the main things I dislike about book 2 Lestat vs book 1 Lestat is it just takes away a lot of the interesting mystery about his character in the first book to have him definitively answer everything like: "oh actually I WAS hiding a bunch of secrets of the vampire universe and rules and hierarchy and history from you the entire time, and actually I WAS also filthy rich secretly the entire time due to a treasure left to me by my maker and didn't actually need you for your money at all, and also I wasn't a bit insecure about my lower class upbringing and poorer education and trying to compensate for that by being both showy and secretive about myself I was actually a noble, and also I CAN do a bunch of other vampire things that I never taught you to do or did in front of you even though we lived together in the same house as a family for like 70 years, and yes I DO hate following rules and doing what I'm told and keeping secrets but I did it because Marius said your fragile minds couldn't handle the truth if I DID tell you anything else, and also I DIDN'T want any revenge on Claudia or blame her for attempting to murder me or think I maybe should undo what I did by making her one bit, I was just being forced by the even EVILLER vampire to have her condemned to death, and also almost everything questionable or problematic or cruel that I did within the first book was either a lie told by Louis or secretly actually a kind and heroic thing I did because I cared about someone other than myself, IN FACT I SECRETLY THE ENTIRE TIME HAD A STRICT MORAL CODE I WAS FOLLOWING every time I casually killed an innocent npc in the first book, and whenever you watched on in horror at my cruelty and toying with my victims I was actually only killing scummy evildoers and Louis was just too dumb and romanticizing of humans to ever see it etc..." like FINE WHATEVER, I GUESS hahaha but I actually kind of liked you better when you were a bit meaner and a bit petty and a bit imperfect and a bit lame

[multeasers]

Holy shit so much has happened in the past month and some days . First and foremost, though : while the hiatus is not over, zag is coming back eventually !! Residents of zag nation who are still here, I hope you are yippee'ing with glee :D !!!

Now, brief silliness aside, holy SHIT has so much gone on . A brief, actual tldr is that I'll be back sometime around August or September, depending on how things go, and that you can reach out to me on discord ( either by adding me while I have it up under the cut for a bit, or asking me for it later and I get it to you whenever I can ), but if you wanna read a whole lotta words that're half venting, half semi-explanation for why I left like I did :

Literally the day before I went on hiatus, my half brother and my younger sister dropped double whammies on us ; respectively, he broke both his ankles jumping off an 8ft drop in sandals like a dumbass, and everyone is scrambling to try and find a way to help my sister get through her last few classes of college, because FAFSA sucks major ass and also her poor student's salary is like Net Zero . My mom has had work stress since LAST YEAR piling on her more and more, and February was by far the worst month, and her being stressed has always stressed ME out because we do Not need her strokes coming back to haunt us when she's gone so long without them ; and then, while the actual diagnosis came here in early March, my grandma was finally officially diagnosed with alzheimer's ( she'd been diagnosed with dementia already ), and while we already knew it was coming way before it even happened like this,,,, god . I don't think mom anticipated the speed in which it'd hit any more than I did, because it's been absolutely brutal . I know it isn't fair for my patience to run thin in this case, all things considered, but it's hard to even Want to keep the peace when she's in this mean phase ( especially when she keeps bringing things up from when she was a lot more lucid that she'd already been trying to put me or mom down for, and that we for sure can't help at all because we've tried, but we won't get fully into all that ) . There's just no one else who can help her, and even less who want to, so mom and I have just tried our bests managing and trying to keep her from really just losing it . I can't say it's keeping mom and I from losing it any more than it does her, but all 3 of us are trying

To continue on with more unfortunate zag news is the fact that he won't be back until like, August or September though holy shit ; it'll be a matter of schedule for sure once mid-April hits, because I was already aware of everything going down then, but when I say the rest of the stuff that's gone down / going to go down around that time frame was a shocker,,,, zag has got 2 admit that it's all a little frazzling !! So I'm sorry I'll be gone so damn long 😭 I know I said initially that this hiatus would be longer than the rest, but I never thought it'd end up being THIS damn long,,,

At any rate, because it'll be so much time I'm away, what I said last time still holds : feel free to choose what you'd like to do regarding sticking around or not !!! My half brother had surgery today ( that I got roped into going to, which is a whole big story augh ) so I've got a bit of time to lurk, and thus I'll leave my discord towards the end of this so anyone who wants to continue interacting in any way can reach me, but if you decide / have already decided this is the end of our road, then there's no hard feelings on my end !! In fact, all I wanna say to that is I'll miss y'all, but thanks for sticking around for as long ( or briefly ) as ya did 🫂 and while I know anyone in the latter half likely won't see this, I just wanted the sentiment out there anyhow !

With that, though, that's the stuff ( well, as it pertains to just me / my family ) that influenced zag leaving like he did ; it most certainly isn't Every detail about what I've mentioned, but I felt like explaining this much because I Did mention possibly not coming back, and these had a significant role in coming to that conclusion ( and again, these pertain to me / my family, so I'm only mentioning what I'm comfy sharing at all ), so I felt it right to both address and apologize for it . Life has just been a lot lately, and these events combined with some other private matters just,,, have taken a lot outta me, honestly . Not that it's an excuse ( or, at least, I don't intend it to be one ), but sometimes I think stepping away for awhile is just easier,, and sometimes I think stepping away completely will be easiest ( it's all a matter of the headspace I'm in at the time, too, of course, which is also no excuse but is intended to be an explanation just as much ) . I know I can't get by on JUST explanations, though, and even if I could I'd feel like I can't, so like I said : I'm sorry to y'all that I let things get like that !! Since it's something that's clearly reoccurring ( and admittedly will likely continue to be, since it's just something I've always dealth with in various / similar ways throughout my life ), it's definitely something to figure out how to work on to minimize,, I'll do that in the time I'm away . Or at least try to !!

This is kinda all I've got now that I'm editing this before I head out again so uh . I said thanks in the tags if you read all this already, but thanks again if ya make it to the end of this, and see you guys whenever I'm back :D !

[orcelito]

It feels. So so so good to feel confident in my playing again.

I spent a good hour and a half yesterday working at my new bridge again (so a total of 2.5 hours of sanding) and I think I'm satisfied with it now. The sound is definitely a lot better in general, which is Wonderful!! And I put on one of my new practice mutes today, so I didn't feel quite so self conscious playing with my bow. Bc my playing both sounds better than before and wasn't as loud (due to the mute), so! Not as self conscious!!

The bow was an important thing for practicing today. Prior practices at home, I was just practicing the fingerings and plucking, but when I got to rehearsal I'd still get tripped up by the bowings. So I needed to practice the bowings for this audition video.

Playing here today... I mean I still wasn't perfect, but that's what the practice is for. But my finger agility feels like it's really coming back, nowhere Near as stiff as it was when I started out this semester, AND my bow control was actually pretty damn good!!! So even with the parts I was tripping up on, overall my sound quality was Good, and that's. Such a relief, honestly. I got so out of practice that it kinda felt *wrong* to play, bc the experience just didn't match what I'd known in the past. Too clumsy, too stiff. But after just a few weeks of consistent practice, im starting to feel like my old self again. Starting to feel like I Do have the right to call myself a violinist.

And it's a very, very good feeling.

[skrunksthatwunk]

household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight

[cupiare]

getting to know my mum has just shown me that all the times i felt misunderstood was not because we were fundamentally different and she could not be there for me in the way that i needed but bcs we’re so alike and respond in the same ways and we were both waiting for the other to come forward first and agonizing over it in the meantime. i had already forgiven her anyway like on principle and moved on but its given me so much closure to know she’s always been there for me actually, we just didn’t know how to talk to each other and we’re finally learning and talking freely and i finally mean it when i tell her i miss her too

[penitenteyeball]

Dum de dum dum

Gonna add max tags and max characters to each cause who cares

[pynkhues]

https://x.com/pixielayer/status/1818003659675869381

since you're in your smut writing renaissance era... i'll just leave it here and hope it sparks the creative juice flow *wink-wonk*

(ok that sounded weird. i'm out)

Lmaooo, anon!! LOOK, I will keep it in mind.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

I read that same fic earlier and I just straight up muted the person so their works don't show up for me anymore lmao

there was also another one like that posted yesterday because the person was mad at something qBad did a couple of days ago while not at all in his right mind and amnesiac, it was odd (not shitting on the person just confused and slightly concerned)

yeah there’s. a lot of misconceptions around qbad rn lmao. It’s one of the reasons Im so obnoxious about him, tbh, so that it’s not JUST the negativity that gets spread. He’s a really good target for the hate rn, because he has a smaller fanbase and his pvp playstyle + lore lead him to all that antagonizing during purgatory, and that gets vented out into fics.

It’s genuinely really interesting, the dichotomy that seems to exist between tumblr and twitter regarding him. Ive heard nothing but slander about bbh from twitter (again, he is not faking his illness, that is a lie), but he’s got a solid enough foothold on tumblr that ive seen more hate towards the fans that the cc, here. which makes sense, given how we take over the tag almost ever day when he logs on. genuine o7 to people who find that obnoxious but thats one of the reasons i overtag so much, for blocking purposes.

anyway i think all the bbh mischaracterization means that we just need to write about him more >:D please this is a call for more bbh centric fics from people who do not hate him/know a little bit about his lore. blease he’s such a fun pov to write i promise

[sangre]

i love you tural i love you wuk lamat i love you erenville i love you gulool ja ja i love you koana i love you [redacted] i love you [redacted] i love you [redacted] and i love you dawntrail.

[salsflore]

been almost 3 yrs and i am still struggling with the whole mikachi first meeting thing. bye

[13eyond13]

.

[spiceupyourfcknife]

I love how girls and language are so intertwined, we all know and love how teenage girls literally are always the ones leading language innovation, but I really love the language NüShu.

It’s a language from Jiangyong county in china in the 19th century that women made amongst themselves. Bc of feudal society at the time women didn’t have freedom of expression and they passed this language down from mother to daughter and friends would talk to each other in it, it’s know for its delicate fine scripts, they’d sing what they wanted to say to each other and put it in poems, it’s such a beautiful and creative way to get around such harsh limitation. Especially the fact it’s written as well and women were denied education.. idk I just like love it