#idk I just have a lot of feeling about it and I. think it’s p beautiful it’s just good okay

[pedrosgrogu]

Born Too Late - Chapter 11

pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak

Warnings: hungover reader, i think thats it

Summary: 1 day after your intense dinner and "after party" with Joel, your head is fogged. you arent sure where to go or what to do from here. (1400k+)

a/n: hey im back. probs gonna end this soon bc tbh, idk where its going. leave feedback but be nice :P. ps didnt proof, prob lots of errors, oops. pps sad soppy soft joel inbound.

Chapter 10 - Masterlist - Chapter 12 (Coming Soon)

You wake up and your head is pounding. Last nights clothes still littering the floor, and the sun barely creeping in your window. You stumble into the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and grabbing the bottle of Advil. Popping the cap off and turning the sink on simultaneously, you throw 2 into your mouth and stick your face under the faucet, taking in 2 giant gulps of water. You walk back into your room, sighing at the sight. Yesterdays memories flooding in, playing in your brain like a movie you cant turn off. You pick up your ripped shirt and toss it in the trashcan, and your jeans in the hamper. 

The coffee pot is dripping and the aroma fills your house. You get your favorite mug out of the cabinet and pour yourself a cup, leaving room for a splash of creamer. You plop into the same spot as usual on your couch, not even turning the TV on. You begin to sequence every event of yesterday, nitpicking every singular detail. Instead of your usual tears, you begin to feel anger. You’re mad at how you were spoken to, how you were treated, how you were left. You decide that this time, you arent extending the olive branch. One too many times have you tried to make up for actions that aren’t your responsibility. 

After 4 hours of deep cleaning, you grab the 3 baskets of clean laundry from the laundry room and haul them to your couch. You begin folding everything you’ve let pile up since Penny was here. You miss her. You go to reach for your phone, and it isn't there. You remember Joel grabbing it from you, dropping it on your bedroom floor. You head to your room, and pick it up off the floor. It’s dead. Of fucking course. You let out the 50th sigh of today and grab the charger. You turn the TV on and flip to How I Met Your Mother, another comfort show of yours. While you wait for your phone to turn on, you fold and hang fold and hang. A never ending cycle it seems. After the first basket, your phone comes back on and you dive for it, checking to see if you have any missed calls or texts from Joel. There isn’t a single one. 

You call Penny, detailing your Thanksgiving with the Millers. 

“And then he left. He just fucking left.” You say, peering out your window towards Joels. Hoping for any sign of life.

“What the fuck do you mean he ‘left’?!” Penny says, loud enough that you have to pull the phone away from your ear. 

“He left. His eyes looked different, but he just walked out. I didn’t chase him and he didn’t come back. AND he has a fucking girlfriend. I truly don’t-” Penny interjects. 

“A fucking girlfriend?!?! Im actually going to kill this man.” 

You let out a sigh. “I just don’t know what to do Pen. The sex was so fucking good. I loved being dominated like that but the circumstances surrounding it fucking blow. I refuse to be the first to speak so I guess parent-teacher conferences will just have to be awkward from now on.” 

“Honestly, its his loss Yellow. I wish I could do something or help.” Penny says, disgruntled. 

“I know Pen, but just talking to you about it helps.” you say calmly. Soaking in her vibes through the phone. 

Your phone beeps. 

“So, Im thinking about-” 

“Hold on Pen” you say, switching her to speaker and checking your texts. 

“Holding!” she says cheerfully. 

“Its Joel.” you say. 

“What?” Penny says, every ounce of cheerfulness leaving her voice, a sort of rage fillingit instead. 

You didn’t mean to say it outloud but you did. 

“Well what the hell did he say?!”

“I refuse to look. He can kiss my ass.” You retort, both of you erupting in laughter. 

A couple more hours go by on the phone with Penny. You learn that her time in Ireland may be cut short due to her moms health. It’s a weird feeling for you. You want Penny to be happy but you also miss her so much. 

“Okay Pen. I’ve gotta make some dinner and get this laundry put in drawers instead of living in a basket.” 

“I miss you yellow. I’ll see you soon, okay? Let me know if anything happens with Joel.” she responds. 

You had completely forgotten Joel texted you. You’re nauseous. 

“I will. Love ya!” 

“Love ya!” 

The call disconnects. You sigh, dragging the 3 laundry baskets to your room. You sit on your bed, and look out the window. Joel’s curtains in the same place they have been, neatly on the windowsill. 

You follow through on your word, and you don’t even read Joels text. You put your laundry away and scrounge up some dinner. You eat leftover pasta and garlic knots and settle in for the night, cozying up under a blanket on your very loved couch. 

You wake up to a knocking on your door. It’s dark so you’re weary. Looking out the peephole, you see Joel. He’s in jeans and a flannel but he looks disheveled. His normally bright eyes are now withdrawn and dull, his arms sitting heavily at his sides, holding flowers. You’re hesitant to open the door. Partially because nothing good comes from late nights with him, and partially because you have no desire to speak to him. He drained you emotionally, and made you feel small. 

“What do you want, Joel?” you say through the door, pulling yourself away from the peephole. 

“P-please open it. I just wanna t-t-talk to ya.” His voice sweet as molasses, but cracking.

“Joel, realistically I have nothing to say.” You take a deep breath, struggling to keep your voice from shaking. “We are not good for each other, in any capacity. I think we both made that clear to each other over the last few weeks.” 

A tear falls slowly from his right eye. 

“Yellow. P-p-please.” He blubbers through a few more tears. 

You sigh and open the door, leaving the storm door shut.

His eyes are bloodshot, his hair is a wreck, and his posture is depressing. 

“Joel-”

“Please just let me talk, and then I’ll go. I promise.” he says. You nod, signaling him to go ahead. 

“Im so sorry. For everything. Im sorry for how I spoke to you, for how I let Celeste speak to you, for not sticking up for you-” he takes a deep breath in, “Most of all, Im sorry for not being more clear with my intentions from day one.” his head drops. 

"From the moment I saw you, everything changed. I can still remember the first time our eyes met—it was like the world paused for a second. I didn’t know you yet, but something about you felt familiar, like I had been waiting for you without even realizing it.” he pauses, sniffling. 

“There was this quiet kind of magic in the way you moved, in the way your smile lit up the room. I didn’t know it then, but I was already falling. It’s like my heart recognized you before my mind did, and it just couldn’t let go. I tried to ignore it, tried to convince myself it was just a fleeting moment, a passing attraction. But the more I saw you, the more I couldn’t escape it.” 

And you say nothing. Because he’s lowkey been a dick from day one, so you’re confused. 

“Joel, respectfully, you were an ass to me the day we met. You don’t treat someone you care about this much, like that.” You say blankly. 

“I was scared. After Sarah’s mom cheated on me, I had no interest in finding someone. As far as I was concerned, it was just her and I. No one else mattered, and I didn’t mind it.” 

“That still isn’t a reason to treat me the way you did. Nothing about what we did was normal. Fun? Sure. Normal? Not really.”

He sighs. “I know, and I’m sorry. I want to fix it. I want to do right by you.” he says, his puppy dog eyes looking up at you. 

“Joel I don’t-” he interrupts.

“You dont have to give me an answer tonight, or hell even this week. But I like you, and I want to give you the world. And I think if we could start over, I could do that. I could be better, for you.” He says, a glimmer of hope in his eyes for the first time in weeks 

You nod your head. “I’ll let you know.” you say, opening the storm door. “Thanks for popping by, and for apologizing. I appreciate it.” 

He hands you the flowers with a nod, and turns back toward his house, borderline disappearing in the haze.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

[deoidesign]

I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.

same disability (waving hand emoji)

Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me

[13eyond13]

One of the main things I dislike about book 2 Lestat vs book 1 Lestat is it just takes away a lot of the interesting mystery about his character in the first book to have him definitively answer everything like: "oh actually I WAS hiding a bunch of secrets of the vampire universe and rules and hierarchy and history from you the entire time, and actually I WAS also filthy rich secretly the entire time due to a treasure left to me by my maker and didn't actually need you for your money at all, and also I wasn't a bit insecure about my lower class upbringing and poorer education and trying to compensate for that by being both showy and secretive about myself I was actually a noble, and also I CAN do a bunch of other vampire things that I never taught you to do or did in front of you even though we lived together in the same house as a family for like 70 years, and yes I DO hate following rules and doing what I'm told and keeping secrets but I did it because Marius said your fragile minds couldn't handle the truth if I DID tell you anything else, and also I DIDN'T want any revenge on Claudia or blame her for attempting to murder me or think I maybe should undo what I did by making her one bit, I was just being forced by the even EVILLER vampire to have her condemned to death, and also almost everything questionable or problematic or cruel that I did within the first book was either a lie told by Louis or secretly actually a kind and heroic thing I did because I cared about someone other than myself, IN FACT I SECRETLY THE ENTIRE TIME HAD A STRICT MORAL CODE I WAS FOLLOWING every time I casually killed an innocent npc in the first book, and whenever you watched on in horror at my cruelty and toying with my victims I was actually only killing scummy evildoers and Louis was just too dumb and romanticizing of humans to ever see it etc..." like FINE WHATEVER, I GUESS hahaha but I actually kind of liked you better when you were a bit meaner and a bit petty and a bit imperfect and a bit lame

[skrunksthatwunk]

household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight

[cupiare]

getting to know my mum has just shown me that all the times i felt misunderstood was not because we were fundamentally different and she could not be there for me in the way that i needed but bcs we’re so alike and respond in the same ways and we were both waiting for the other to come forward first and agonizing over it in the meantime. i had already forgiven her anyway like on principle and moved on but its given me so much closure to know she’s always been there for me actually, we just didn’t know how to talk to each other and we’re finally learning and talking freely and i finally mean it when i tell her i miss her too

[pynkhues]

https://x.com/pixielayer/status/1818003659675869381

since you're in your smut writing renaissance era... i'll just leave it here and hope it sparks the creative juice flow *wink-wonk*

(ok that sounded weird. i'm out)

Lmaooo, anon!! LOOK, I will keep it in mind.

[littol-bun]

i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.

like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?

but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!

i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡⁠ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾

ouggghh im not little anymore but (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:

like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.

but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽‍🤝‍👩🏾 i got ya lil sis

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

I read that same fic earlier and I just straight up muted the person so their works don't show up for me anymore lmao

there was also another one like that posted yesterday because the person was mad at something qBad did a couple of days ago while not at all in his right mind and amnesiac, it was odd (not shitting on the person just confused and slightly concerned)

yeah there’s. a lot of misconceptions around qbad rn lmao. It’s one of the reasons Im so obnoxious about him, tbh, so that it’s not JUST the negativity that gets spread. He’s a really good target for the hate rn, because he has a smaller fanbase and his pvp playstyle + lore lead him to all that antagonizing during purgatory, and that gets vented out into fics.

It’s genuinely really interesting, the dichotomy that seems to exist between tumblr and twitter regarding him. Ive heard nothing but slander about bbh from twitter (again, he is not faking his illness, that is a lie), but he’s got a solid enough foothold on tumblr that ive seen more hate towards the fans that the cc, here. which makes sense, given how we take over the tag almost ever day when he logs on. genuine o7 to people who find that obnoxious but thats one of the reasons i overtag so much, for blocking purposes.

anyway i think all the bbh mischaracterization means that we just need to write about him more >:D please this is a call for more bbh centric fics from people who do not hate him/know a little bit about his lore. blease he’s such a fun pov to write i promise

[sangre]

i love you tural i love you wuk lamat i love you erenville i love you gulool ja ja i love you koana i love you [redacted] i love you [redacted] i love you [redacted] and i love you dawntrail.

[spiceupyourfcknife]

I love how girls and language are so intertwined, we all know and love how teenage girls literally are always the ones leading language innovation, but I really love the language NüShu.

It’s a language from Jiangyong county in china in the 19th century that women made amongst themselves. Bc of feudal society at the time women didn’t have freedom of expression and they passed this language down from mother to daughter and friends would talk to each other in it, it’s know for its delicate fine scripts, they’d sing what they wanted to say to each other and put it in poems, it’s such a beautiful and creative way to get around such harsh limitation. Especially the fact it’s written as well and women were denied education.. idk I just like love it

[furrysmp]

congrats to everyone that is still following me after I saw I had way too many followers to not have at least one antisemitic person following me, the fact that you don't think I murder children for fun is truly a comfort

[13eyond13]

.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

god... family are so frustrating sometimes lol...

[elegyofthemoon]

tbh i think i just need to get into a media thatll shake me to my core the way me revisiting p//andora hearts at a crucial time shook me