#ideas about illusions of what could've been but never was

[transingthoseformers]

I've been thinking about tfone's future a lot, especially Megatron in specific, and all the shit that can happen during the war

(...though I'll admit I've been taking notes from aligned for a parallel to the one Plague episode in tfp where they have to go into a comatose Megatron's mind)

[astonmartingf]

YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND—

— co-parenting with alonso has been smooth sailing, until he starts dropping hints that he wants to be with you again

P4 ★ SUNSHINE, RAINBOWS, AND THUNDERSTORM

amgf written portion down below. more lore, also peep lewis' story. we're in the calm before the storm hahahahaha, enjoy this 👍

previous ★ masterlist ★ next

How could the end of the week turn into a nightmare when things were starting to look better not just for Ales, but for you and Alonso.

Somehow the world always works in your favor, and just when you're about to fall into the pattern of domesticity around Alonso, shit somehow always hits the fan.

You can't help but get mad, not just at him but to yourself. You can't help but long for what could've been, you can't help but think about the family you're supposed to have together, it was a dream. Was— no longer yours to be shared.

Now you've let yourself stay too long into a sense of security, a habit, nothing out of the norm, spending mornings with Ales before dropping him off Alonso, picking him at the end of the day and eating dinner together. Once in a while he would stay over his place, and you'd pick him up while having breakfast.

You didn't mind that— co-parenting with him near. You thought you'd perfected this routine, you've gotten yourself in the habit and slowly the pick-ups turned into lunch dates and dine-outs. Heck, you even let him call you late at night while you eat dinner after an overtime shift, you were sharing and learning all these things about Alonso you never knew before.

How he is as a father; how attentive he is whenever Ales is around, how he prioritizes Ales' comfort over anything, spending time and bringing him to work. All feeding into your brain, turning you into the same girl who met him years ago. The man you promised to be with, get married to, planned to start a family with.

Though a little bit out of order and some not even done, you found yourself in the illusion of wanting to be with him again. And that despite the years of your grudge, his magnetic pull on you causes you to fall into the comfort of his arms.

Pulling back from your thoughts, you find yourself watching the trees pull away from your vision as you leave Alonso's apartment complex.

Leaning against the window of Lance's car, you slowly let the soft hum of the engine lull you back to sleep. Ignoring the rest of the evening, your thoughts revisit your date with Alonso a few nights before the raging thunderstorm.

"I'm excited! Are you excited Mama?" Ales was bouncing off the room, his excitement having no bounds as he skipped along your room.

"Papa is excited as well, he said that if I do good I'll have a surprise gift! Can you believe that?" You laugh at Ales' antics, watching him through the view of your mirror.

"Do you want to go out more with Papa?" You were in awe of Ales' acceptance of your co-parenting situation with Alonso. It's been two years since then, and you're surprised by how his bond with Alonso grew.

Two years ago you couldn't imagine yourself spending more than thirty minutes with Alonso, let alone leave him with Ales. Now you've found yourself enjoying his updates throughout the day, whether it be pictures of Ales or random outbursts about how meetings in the office are boring, to his small reminders to take breaks, calling you in between shifts to talk to Ales for a while. It was a whole different Alonso that you knew.

It makes you think how time will slowly heal all your wounds.

When Ales asked about his father for the first time it didn't shock you. Throughout the first years of his life, Alonso was committed to being a father, although not present his work often left him missing weeks of Ales' life. And when he chose to race again, the weeks turned into months, and slowly you pulled away from him.

Your choice to leave him out of Ales' life was a selfish choice, not just for Ales who at that time had no idea what was happening, but also to you. Mainly because it hurts your pride that Alonso chose to race instead of focusing on your family, at the time you couldn't understand as to why he would choose racing instead of raising a family with you.

Thinking back it might've hurt Alonso more, he chose to race— all alone this time. You left him, leaving him little interaction with Alonso, and despite all that he chose to stay and persist.

"I like going with Mama and Papa, we can have dates together!" You smile to yourself, watching Ales bring his toys on your bed.

"Mama, do you want to go on a date with Papa?"

His question caught you off guard— you haven't really thought about your relationship with Alonso, especially since the co-parenting is going well, not only did his relationship with Ales drastically improve, your relationship with him was also begging to be defined.

Alonso has made it clear multiple times how he still loves you, not that you doubt his love for you, but you're definitely teetering around love and fear. You love him? Yes.

You don't deny yourself of these feelings, despite everything you've been together it wouldn't make sense if you didn't love Alonso, you wanted a future with him for God's sake. But fear came hand in hand, when you were dating racing became a divide between you two. His safety was always swept on the sidelines, something that you didn't enjoy, seeing as you encounter accidents in your profession daily, having to overthink about his well being during races wasn't something you could handle.

And when you got pregnant with Ales, eventually giving birth to him the fears only got worse, to the point where you had to take a break away from him. You slowly have to remind yourself that things are different now.

You turn around facing Ales, waiting for your response, "You think, should I go on a date with Papa?"

Ales shrugs, "You already go on dates with him, you always call every night and Papa talks about you a lot. He loves you so much."

You blink the tears forming in your eyes, a rush of emotions piling up on you. There's no better person to ask for the truth than your son, knowing Ales he probably heard you talking to Alonso multiple times already. Wiping the tears you stand up, wrapping Ales in a hug.

"I should go give Papa a chance hmm? What do you think about staying with Uncle Lance next week?"

"Papa, you know Mama wants to go on a date with you alone next." You freeze in your seat, watching Ales with your signature "mom" look.

You look away, a warm feeling rushing through your cheeks as Alonso's laughter fills your ears. "Really Ales? Mama told you that?"

You cough into the napkin on your lap, shaking your head, a measly attempt to divert the father and son pair poking fun at you.

"Now what were we talking about before this date thing... Ales, we'll talk about this later."

You catch Alonso looking in your direction, a small smile on his face before turning back to Ales. "As much as I'm happy to hear about this upcoming date, your mother is right Ales, you shouldn't say anything that doesn't involve you."

Ales tilts his head, "What does that mean?"

Before you could answer, Alonso inches closer towards Ales, "Think of it this way, would you want me to tell Mama that Uncle Lance gave you ice cream before meal time?"

Ales shakes his head furiously, lips pouting, "Why would you say that, it's supposed to be a secret."

Alonso's eyes widened, "See! That's exactly what Mama meant when she said that to you. You eating ice cream was something between you and Uncle Lance, so is it right for me to tell Mama about it?"

Ales shakes his head no, "I'm sorry for telling Papa about your date. No! I said it again, I'm sorry Mama."

Somehow the wholesome moment you witnessed only confirmed your choice of going on a date with Alonso. That and you also found him hot, but that thought is not appropriate in front of the table, let alone in front of your son.

You smile nodding at Alonso, "Thank you for apologizing, Ales. I'm sure your father is equally as excited and looking forward to this date now that you told him about it."

★ YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND — @namgification @nebarious @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @lxclerc @booksandflowrs @c-losur3 @lichterfee @moonyzsworld @e-nonsense @vicurious28 @dannyriccsupremacy @thearchieves @welovediaaxx @vogueprincess

[ninii-winchester]

Blue Eyed Stud

Pairing : Damon Salvatore X Reader

Word count : 2.2k

Warnings : angst, heartbreak, illusions to sex, fwb themes, fluff.

A/n : never watched Tvd in my whole life. Wrote this for a friend few years back (2020) Forgive me if it doesn’t make sense.!!

Y/n woke up in the middle of the night. A thought had been lingering in her mind for a while now. The cause of her distress being Damon Salvatore. The man laying beside her. Y/n couldn't decipher what is this feeling that's keeping her awake at nights thinking about said man. Her heart flutters every time he's around. She wants him to be by her side every waking hour. But the question is, why? Why does she want that? She has an idea of what it could be and it scares her to death. What if she is in love with the vampire she thought as she reminisced the events of the hour before.

She knows it was supposed to be a one time thing with no strings attached. She questions herself why did she let herself to be in this situation. She could've stopped this from happening the moment it all started but she didn't. She knew this mistake would lead her to be heartbroken. But the man had his charms and his enticing blue eyes can get her to do anything he wants. Although she was very close to Damon but she didn’t know if he feels the same way or not. This wasn't supposed to happen. Y/n knew there was no way she would get any sleep so she got out of the bed headed towards the kitchen to make some coffee for herself.

Said woman sat on the stool and leaned herself on the counter with a steaming mug of coffee between her hands. She stared into distance thinking about the consequences of her actions, that is confessing to the insanely handsome man laying in her bed at the moment. As the caffeine starts to kick in, washing away the sleep from her eyes, another person pops up in her mind. Elena Gilbert. The beautiful girl who is loved by each and every person including the guy she's head over heels for.

He loves her.  She thought. She’ll never have a chance with him. Even if she is his brother's girlfriend, he still loves her. Y/n scoffed at no one in particular.

Love is blind, they say. No, love is not blind itself but makes us blind instead. She was too blinded by her love for him to notice how much of a fool she's been. She even let him feed off her.

Soft padding of footsteps could be heard and within seconds Damon appeared in the kitchen, in all his glory with nothing but sweatpants. Washboard abs full on display and his hair ruffled, a frown on his face as Y/n turned her head towards him.

"Why aren't you in bed?" Y/n inquired.

"Because my human heater wasn't there. I got cold." He pouted.

You see that? how can one not fall for his charms?

"You don't need a heater, Damon." She scoffed and got up to put her mug in the sink. He smirked knowing what she meant. He walked towards her and made her sit on the countertop.

"I know I don't need it, baby. But I need you." He said gripping her thighs. His shirt barely reached her mid thigh.

"Let go off me." Y/n gritted.

"Why so salty miss L/n?." He joked not sensing the intensity of the situation.

Y/n pushed him away from her figure and moved away from him. She walked in the living room and sat on the couch. Said woman's behavior was confusing Damon. He followed her actions and sat beside her.

"What is it, y/n/n?" He asked her making her sigh.

This is it. It's now or never.

"What are we?" She asks after a long pause.

"I'm a vampire and you're a human being, y/n." He said letting out a laugh.

Typical Damon.

"Can you not." Y/n Snapped.

"Okay. What were you saying?" He asked now being serious.

"What are we, Damon? What is happening?" She asks her voice small.

"Nothing is happening. We're nothing y/n." He said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"B..but we j..just did it, didn't we?" She asks already knowing what's coming next. But she wants to hear it from him. She needs to.

"Of course we did, but that doesn't mean anything. I thought you knew this was just a one time thing. What were you expecting. I love someone else." He spoke his voice emotionless.

"If you're so in love with another why did you do it. Am I just your side chick?" She yelled and stood up.

"Well if you want to put it that way..." Damon started but he trailed off when he saw the look on her face.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now. Do I look like I am joking, Damon Salvatore." Y/n screamed as she slammed the vase that was on the side table, on the floor.

"Why did you do it? Why did you lead me on? Why did you let me fall for you when you loved someone else." She broke down.

"I didn't think.." He started but she cut him off.

"That's right. That's the only thing you don't do. You don't think, Damon. You're selfish. You were just using me.." She accused him while tears streamed down her eyes.

Damon was calm, which wasn't like him. At all. He would have lost his shit by now if it was someone else. He would've pinned them to the wall and snapped their neck into two because Damon Salvatore doesn't take shit from people. But somehow he didn't feel angry by the words coming out her mouth.

"You shouldn't have done that. You don't care for anyone but yourself. " She dropped on her knees and cried.

He felt weird. He felt a tug at his heart seeing Y/n vulnerable. He felt like hurting anyone who hurt her. He wanted to put them in a chokehold and suck their blood until they died. But right now, he was one hurting her. For some unknown reason, his heart broke seeing her cry.

"It's not like that. I do care for you." He said kneeling beside her.

"Fine. You say you care right?" She asks and he nods his head.

"Okay then. You choose. It's either or her. If you choose to stay I promise I will love you with everything I have. But if you choose her, you leave and forget you ever knew a Y/n." She stood up from her spot. He did too.

He thought about it. He loves Elena but he loves Y/n too. But he loved Elena more. He was thinking, trying his hardest to not let her know what he was thinking. But she knew him too well and added,

"You can't choose me if you think you'll leave me when Elena realises she loves you too. Please don't think of breaking me like that." Her voice cracked.

Not being able to take it anymore, she ran to her room and locked herself inside. With her back against the door she slid down to the floor. She knew. His silence gave her the answer she needed. She couldn't compare. She never did. She never will. And before she knew it. She fell asleep on the floor.

The next morning she woke up where she fell asleep. She woke up thinking it was nightmare, that last night didn't happened. But the pounding in her head and burning her eyes made told her otherwise. She walked out of her room and saw no trace of Damon. After all she got her answer and it ended up with her heart being broken.

Later in the day, y/n couldn't help but cry. She never thought she'd get her heartbroken because her love was unrequited. She didn't know if things would've been different if they dated and then decided to break up. But a heartbreak is a heartbreak. It's hurts no matter what. And that's what was happening. Y/n was hurting.

She heard the front door being opened but the only person who had the spare key was Damon. And she vaguely remembers that she told him to never come back if he decides to leave. And said man doesn't needs to be told twice. So she ignored the action and blamed her pounding head that was hearing voices.

Her bedroom door opened revealing the man she loved dearly. The man that's has captured her heart and the man who walked out on her and the very man who broke her heart.

"Great. Now I'm hallucinating." She mumbled.

He stood there unmoving. His eyebrows raised him amusement. He found this situation very funny considering the woman in front of him is mourning for her heart, that has been broken, but that's what she thinks.

"You're not." He broke the lingering silence. "You're not hallucinating." He affirmed.

"What are you even doing here? Didn't I tell you to never come back if you leave?" She started rambling causing him to chuckle. "Why In the God's name are you laughing. You're so fucking selfish. Do you even see yourself right now, you're making fun of my misery. Don't you have any-" her sentence was cut short when he vamp sped towards her and cupped her mouth.

Her eyes widened at the sudden action. She pushed him away from her but to no avail. He's not even using his strength right now. He smiled looking at her struggling to break free. It was not his usual smirk or grin, he genuinely smiled. She found it cute.

"I'll remove my hand now. But we'll talk and you won't yell, okay?" She nodded in answer. He gently removed his hand from her mouth.

"What-" he cupped her mouth again. She glared at him and he spoke quickly.

"I'll speak first." She nodded again.

"Speak." She hissed as soon as he removed his hand.

"First off all, why are you giving me the attitude?" He asked making her glare at him.

"Seriously? You walked out on me. I told you not to come back if you choose her. Why are you here?" She asked still glaring at him.

"Dumb girls look cute to an extent, y/n." He said flatly.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Her eyes widened.

"Last night, you didn't let me answer and ran away. I wasn't the one who walked out. It was you and here you are being all heartbroken and shit, without knowing my answer. How dumb can you be?" He said with a roll of his eyes.

That's Damon stating facts. Typical Damon, yet again.

"I'm sorr-." She started but he cut her off.

"Can I speak now. If you, my Lady, give me permission, to do so?" He said sarcasm dripping in his voice. She nodded her head and he continued.

"Listen I'm sorry. I didn't give you an answer immediately. But to be honest, I didn't have an answer myself. Last night, When you ran upstairs I felt my heart being ripped from my chest as if I lost a piece of myself. I wasn't thinking straight and walked out of your house. I ended up infront of her house. But then I realized that wanting her to love me back is like chasing rainbows. All this time I've been hurting myself but I never realized you were hurting with me. I thought I loved her but now I know I didn't. I've had my moments with Elena but nothing compares to what I feel with you. It's different. It's something I can't describe." Tears were flowing down her cheeks as she took in what he was saying. He wiped her tears away with the pad of his thumbs.

"I know I'm not easiest to deal with and I know I said we're nothing. But I was afraid. Afraid to finally accept what I feel, knowing I'll mess up later and loose you even as my friend. But that happened either way. We were never attached to hip but I knew you'd be by my side whenever I'll need you. But when you told me to leave you forever, my heart couldn't bear that. At that moment I knew I need you in my life. Because you're the woman I love. Yes I love you and I know that. " He concluded.

"You know, you've said more words to me today than you've said to me in the past three years I've known you. And you even smiled." Y/n giggled resulting him to rub the back of his neck. He was embarrassed.

"What can I say Y/n L/n you make me do things out of my character." He chuckled. "Are you willing to give us a chance?" He asked.

"Yes. You screw this up, Salvatore, you're dead meat." She smiled and pecked his cheek.

"Yes ma'am." He said kissed her. This wasn't like the one they shared the night before. This soft, slow and filled with emotions. Love, adoration and passion. They devoured each other as if they had all time in the world. Even if they didn't, it didn't mattered. As long as they were together.

Tags:

@what-has-life-come-to

[suzukiblu]

NaNoWriMo day three; obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.

Still, Kon's been taking care of himself this long, Tim guesses, so maybe . . .

No. No, this is definitely fucked-up and a terrible idea.

But he has no idea what he should do about it. What he even could do about it.

Kon finishes a whole order of cinnamon bread and is eyeing the next one before they even get back to base. Tim doesn't say anything about it because he's apparently been living on laboratory cafeteria food all this time, but does make him carry the highly precarious stack of food in. In his defense, "precarious stacks" are basically what TTK is made for, and also it'll hopefully distract Kon from potentially feeling weird about getting paid for or eating "too much" or just whatever.

Tim is going to burn Cadmus to the ground and stock up on kryptonite and a whole lot of explosives, but he's going to do it in the least Kon-upsetting way possible. Plus his supervillain timeline is a long-term plan too, and Kon should be eating things that aren't cafeteria food right now. And also not working for and living in a shady lab. And also–

"Shit, do we have any cups left?" Kon asks, looking around with a frown.

"Top of the fridge," Tim says, both because it's his job to know as much information as possible and because he's trying to avoid stressing himself out any worse. Stress is not productive. It's not going to fix the problem. Kon doesn't even want him to fix this problem.

"Cool," Kon says, then thumps the stack of pizza boxes down on the table and goes right for the cinnamon bread again, flipping the box open as he heads off to, presumably, retrieve the cups. Tim is entirely unsurprised and has no illusions that he'll be getting any of it himself.

He arranges the pizza boxes and everything else they ordered a little more accessibly on the table, trying not to obsess over the problem of Kon's current lifestyle. He's living in a lab getting by on cafeteria food and not getting properly compensated for doing a dangerous job and doesn't know Superman has a secret identity and is never, ever anything but "Superboy" himself. He doesn't have another identity to hide inside or fall back on or just take a break in. Didn't even have a real name until just recently, and that real name isn't anything he can use outside of still being Superboy.

Tim can't imagine never being able to take off Robin, but Kon probably can't imagine ever having to take off Superboy.

Tim doesn't even know what that would feel like.

Kon comes back with the cups, tosses them on the table, and stuffs another chunk of the already half-gone cinnamon bread into his mouth. Tim is starting to doubt the quality of that cafeteria even more than he reflexively did.

He opens the Zesti and pours them both a cup, and Kon looks oddly–not surprised, exactly? But a little puzzled, almost, watching Tim fill a cup for him.

"I can pour my own drink, Rob, geez," he snorts.

"I had it open already," Tim replies with a carefully dismissive shrug, screwing the lid back on the two-liter. Kon huffs, but picks up a cup and takes a drink.

"Sure, whatever," he says. "This is so much pizza, man. Think we can get through it all or should we call in Imp for backup?"

"If we do that, we're not getting any of it," Tim points out dryly.

"Okay, good point," Kon says. "Guess that's why you're the one in charge here, Wonder Boy."

"I had to get my qualifications from somewhere," Tim says, sparing him a wry smile. Kon sniggers, then rips off another chunk of the cinnamon bread and holds the mostly-empty rest of the box out to him. Tim blinks, a little surprised, but takes the last piece. "Thanks."

Note to self: Kon really likes cinnamon. Or icing, maybe. Or both.

Actually, that thought makes Tim feel a little flustered over Kon giving him the last piece of the cinnamon bread, given how thoroughly he destroyed the rest of it. Which is stupid, since he also hogged the rest of it and could've shared way more than just the last piece, the asshole.

Tim is absolutely still flustered anyway, though.

Yeah, he has it embarrassingly bad.

Ugh.

"Sure, man," Kon says, flashing him a grin. Tim swears to himself that this bastard can never, ever know how cute that grin makes him. If Kon knew he had a crush on him, he would be absolutely insufferable about it. Insufferable and smug.

Or, possibly, uncomfortable and freaked out. Or worse, angry and hateful. But Tim would rather not assume the absolute worst of an ally who almost counts as a friend, to whatever extent he can count anyone who hasn't seen his actual face before as a friend.

Both more and less than the guys at school, probably.

Tim's not sure what that actually says about his life these days.

But Kon . . . Tim doesn't really think Kon would be an asshole about it, if he knew Tim wasn't entirely straight. He's never really said anything to give him that impression.

He'd definitely be unbearable, though, so Tim will be taking the secret of this particular inadvisable crush to his grave, please and thank you.

They both sit down at the table–well, Tim sits, Kon more sprawls, and looks unfortunately attractive doing it–and grab a couple slices apiece and then crack open the wings. Kon eats much faster than Tim, who deliberately takes his time about it. Technically, avoiding getting pizza grease and barbecue sauce on his gloves is reason enough to do that, which is what he's going to point out if Kon comments on it, but obviously he's doing it to make sure Kon gets to eat as much as he wants.

Seriously. Cafeteria food for every meal. And not from a private school or fancy company's cafeteria; from an underground cloning lab with, again, incredibly dubious ethics.

Tim really can't imagine Cadmus is all that committed to food safety and quality, given all the human rights violations they've committed in just their day-to-day operations–to say nothing of any special projects like Kon.

Maybe Tim should release all their classified files onto the internet and just let whatever happens to them as a result happen.

. . . no, no, nobody needs any random weirdos on the dark web reverse-engineering any Kryptonian DNA or anything. Which they definitely would. Hell, just the front page of Reddit and a few YouTube comments would probably be enough to do it, and then somebody'd try to actually go and produce it "just to see".

Though it's still tempting, honestly.

Extremely tempting.

"Are you going to be here next weekend?" Tim says once Kon's mauled his way through a good dozen wings and four slices of pizza with very little sign of slowing down, and Kon stuffs most of another slice into his mouth with an easy shrug. He still looks cute even with terrible table manners, Tim notes resignedly. How is that possible? Why is that even a thing?

Kon is so goddamn annoying that way.

"Probably, yeah," Kon says around a mouthful of pizza before shoving the rest of the slice into his mouth. Tim watches in vague revulsion, wondering how he still finds him cute.

Gross, definitely, but still cute all the same.

"I mean, unless Cadmus needs me for something, anyway," Kon amends as he gets himself another slice. "Sometimes there's emergencies and shit, you know how it is."

"Definitely," Tim agrees, though "and shit" doesn't really cover Gotham-level disasters, as a descriptor. Still gets the point across, so whatever. "I'll be here, barring Gotham."

"You mean barring Batman," Kon snorts, rolling his eyes, and Tim feels a very weird way about the fact that Kon doesn't have a Batman in his life. Well–doesn't have a Bruce in his life, more like.

Or a Jack Drake.

It's kind of a sad thought, to be honest, though it probably makes the vigilante work a lot easier.

"Barring Batman," Tim agrees again, smiling wryly. "You realize you have a boss too now, right?"

"I could still be Superboy if I quit Cadmus, though," Kon says, which is a valid point, if not quite the one Tim was trying to make. "No way Batman wouldn't flip shit if you kept being Robin out from under his big black cape."

"Well, historically that hasn't always gone so well," Tim says, taking a sip of his Zesti. Kon tilts his head, looking curious.

"Wait, you've actually done that before?" he asks. "Seriously?"

"There's been other Robins, you know," Tim reminds him, wry again. Kon blinks.

"More than one?" he asks. "I thought it was just you and that Nightwing dude. Who else?"

It occurs to Tim, very suddenly, that Kon not only wasn't a superhero when Jason was Robin, he didn't even exist when Jason was Robin. He wouldn't have heard anything when it happened, even in rumors, and it's not like many people talk about Jason now, even in the community. At least not anywhere that Tim's ever heard, anyway.

Admittedly, that might be survivorship bias, all things considered.

"My immediate predecessor," Tim says carefully, taking another sip. "After Nightwing and before me. He's–not active anymore."

"Dead or just maimed?" Kon assumes. Tim doesn't bother wondering why "retired" doesn't occur to him as an option.

It's Kon. Of course "retired" wouldn't occur to him.

[winterspellsfrozenkit]

Oh God

Their are other ways is out

I was really hoping Jay wouldn’t go the route he did but he did :(

I love the music behind the part where Odysseus turns Searcy down but on the other hand… He completely completely erased the part where Odysseus was straight up SA’d

I… Jay I love you, BUT WHYYYY

So I listened to ""There Are Other Ways" and I have three theories to WHY Jay changed it to Odysseus breaking down and turning down Circe. 1. The year long timeskip was difficult to explain, 2. Sexual coercion/abuse is NEVER a comfy subject and he might've been worried about not handling it well, and 3. It helps ensure people understand Odysseus LOVES Penelope. Let's me explain:

Reason 1. The year long time skip is difficult to explain: In the Odyssey, we don't know what happened while Odysseus and his men stayed on Circe's island for a year, just that they were resting and recovering, but the men have to remind Odysseus about going home which makes me think something happened to make Odysseus either forget or become wary to leave, which is odd because Penelope and Telemachus are his big drive, so not wanting to leave immediately is out of character for him OR the men weren't going to move until they were ready and he was waiting for them.

Reason 2. Sexual coercion and abuse are really difficult to handle: When Hazbin Hotel snippets got leaked, everyone flipped out on Vivziepop for part of the Poison song that got leaked. Keep in mind that Vivziepop was a victim of abuse and parts of Angel's story with Valentino was pulled from her past with her toxic ex. Even so, people flipped out on her on social media for the leak, saying she was making light or not showing how awful sexual abuse is, but when Poison came out in full, people saw it really was showing the ugliness and horror of the situation. Circe's situation is more coercive and coercive situations are awful in their own right because they give the illusion of choice to the point people will blame the victim because "Well, why did they say yes? They could've said no." because people don't see or recognize the coercion. As a result, Jay might've been wary about handling the situation poorly or how fans would react. It does show the insidious nature of coercion, having Odysseus is agreeing there's no puppet, but he has to say that to get his men back and by having him breakdown and say "I can't!", it shows how much this is actually hurting him. Epic doesn't have accompanying visuals in the way Poison does, so showing how much being pushed to sleep with Circe had harmed Odysseus is really difficult with just dialogue alone.

Reason 3. It helps ensure people understand Odysseus LOVES Penelope. If you go around Tumblr, you'll see SO MANY PEOPLE BLAME ODYSSEUS FOR CIRCE AND CALYPSO. They claim Penelope deserves better than Odysseus, ignoring the sexual coercion and rape that happened to him. They shame him and say he claimed to love his wife, but slept with two other women the first chance he got. By choosing to have Odysseus breakdown at the idea of being pushed to sleep with Circe, it attacks that idea that Odysseus would choose to cheat on Penelope. It shows the true heart of Odysseus: the man who went to woo Helen of Troy, but decided her cousin, Penelope, was who he wanted to marry; the man who risked becoming an oath-breaker to stay with his wife and infant son when he was called to war; the man who didn't stay with Circe and refused immortality and staying with Calypso to go home to his mortal wife.

Adaptations are difficult. I wouldn't say it was a complete erasure, because it leads up to it, but just has Odysseus breakdown before anything happened. Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about it, because Odysseus was a victim and that shouldn't be forgotten, but I do think the song drove home that emotional impact this situation had on Odysseus in that this situation was harmful to Odysseus and that he wouldn't choose to cheat which is important. I'm a writer, not a song writer, but a writer and the idea of tackling the complex emotions of that situation and all the effects it has on a victim in one song is daunting. It's why a lot of people choose to avoid depicting situations of coercion and abuse. There's so many complex emotions tied up in situations like this and how do you accurately depict that in one song that has no visuals and is only dialogue? How do you explain the emotional pain and feelings of helplessness a victim is going through? What emotion is going to be the main one coming from the victim? Grief? Guilt? Rage? Fear? Which is more important: the event itself happening or the emotional impact?

Jay might've not gone fully into the event, but he did show the emotional impact and how much this situation hurt Odysseus with him breaking down and begging Circe to grant him and his men mercy. He showed Odysseus struggling with what he had to do to save his men. Comparing to most adaptations, this one actually does show some of the emotional pain Odysseus must've had in the situation, rather than painting it as Odysseus romancing Circe or cheating on Penelope. It's not perfect, but it gives Odysseus more understanding in the situation than most adaptations do, so I'm relieved and grateful for that.

[random-dragon-exe]

Alright, but can everyone just imagine the antics we could've got if there was more time for the Covenheads to interact?

Dana said they backstab each other all the time, which means they don't generally get along well.

Like we could've gotten some really entertaining antics between them.

I'd imagine it'd be like a twisted version of The Offfice, but with queer witches and one puritanical leader.

So now have a few ideas I've come up with.

-----

Belos: Can you all just conduct yourselves accordingly for one meeting?!

The covenheads in question:

Raine is trying to keep whatever is left of their sanity while trying to separate Adrian from Darius while they're fighting with each other. (They're fighting over who has better fashion sense)

Cue Eberwolf biting Adrian’s tail as he screams in pain from the bite.

Terra and Hettie are watching, amused.

Hettie has enough of it and summons one of her scalpels and throws it, nearly missing Adrian as a warning.

Vitimir throws a sleeping mist potion at Adrian (minecraft style) only for him to teleport away and it hits Darius instead, instantly knocking him out.

Mason and Raine hover over Darius, making sure he's okay and not hurt.

Osran's recording everything on his Penstagram only to save it for himself to watch later for shits and giggles. (Along with rest of the antics he's saved)

Belos: (internally face-palming) "We'll continue the meeting, someone just get Headwitch Deamonne and prop him up."

Wait I got some more ideas! This time a few without Belos.

(All the Covenheads are walking to the main room early for a meeting)

Hettie: (whispering to Vitimir) "Is it just me or is Adrian a little less annoying right now?"

Vitimir: "I bet you 20 snails it's an illusion of him."

Hettie: "I bet 20 it's not."

Vitimir: "Fine then, prove it."

(Cue Hettie throwing one of her scalpels at Adrian only for it to go through and the illusion of Adrian dissappears)

Hettie: "What no, Titan dangit!"

Vitimir: "Pay up Cutburn."

Hettie: (annoyed) "Fine." (Hands him the snails)

("Vitimir" poofs away only for Adrian to be revealed to have been masquerading as Vitimir via illusion)

Adrian: "Thanks, I wanted a few extra snails!"

Hettie: (seething mad) "You'll pay for that Graye!" (About to attack him)

Adrian (draws a spell circle to make multiple illusions of himself which all run off in different directions so it was impossible to tell who the real one was which confuses and further enrages Hettie)

(Vitimir finally speedwalks in the main hallway)

Vitimir:" Sorry, I was busy experimenting with my latest potion, what'd I miss?"

---

(Hettie stares daggers at Adrian throughout the meeting then when Belos isn't looking throws a scalpel at him)

"Adrian": "Ow!" (Poofs away to reveal Mason hidden under an Illusion of Adrian) "What was that for?"

Okay, last one:

(Vitimir gets bored so he starts testing out a new deadly potion on himself)

(Hettie notices)

Hettie: Do you mind sharing that?

Vitimir: "No I'm not sharing, besides what do you need it for?"

Hettie: "I have my reasons." (Sadisticly smiles)

Vitimir: (slightly creeped out and sighs) "Alright fine, meet me at my door after the meeting."

Some more ideas/HCs but they're in a general sense;

Osran uses the videos he recorded over time as blackmail for each Covenhead.

Vitimir stays up late mixing potions and tests them on himself.

Vitimir acts like a shady drug dealer when the Covenheads want a potion from him.

When Raine is fed up with Adrian, they'll play their music to make him fall asleep right then and there.

Terra threatens the Covenheads when she's in a bad mood that she'll feed them to her large carnivorous plants. (Everyone is terrified of it, but never admit it to her)

If anyone of the Covenheads gets hurt, they'll never go to Hettie to get healed (she has terrible bedside manner)

This is just the tip of the iceberg, hope you enjoy my ideas.

[codenamesazanka]

The word used here is actually "extermination" 「退治」 which is very much in the context of getting rid of evil/harmful things, like pests and demons.

I was going to let this one go because, fair. Shigaraki killed her friend, or did something to lead to the friend’s death.

But then I remember that you could say the same about Hawks. Twice passed away. Hawks is a damn murderer! Yeah, yeah, Hawks killed a terrorist, Hawks was doing it to protect people. Hawks is still a murderer, and someone was very angry with him for it. Shigaraki paid for killing the girl's friend with his life, as he should; Hawks is now President of the Hero Public Safety Commission.

A little confused about what this lady means, but it sounds like she thinks Shigaraki couldn't control himself? In any case, in the context of her being the lady that stopped to help but ditched Tenko because he looked wrong to her, this becomes a lie. He could've been stopped. If she had fucking helped him.

(Or, well. With the 419 Reveal, I can't see how AFO wouldn't have just eventually snatched Tenko out of the police box or orphanage even if he had been helped. But at least in Shigaraki’s telling, this lady did make him feel that itch again.)

Also noticed that her occupation is listed as ‘housewife’. I know it's been 16 years, and she’s 70 now, so maybe she retired (wouldn't her occupation be labeled as ‘retiree’, then?) But now I have to wonder if she didn't just lied about needing to hurry to work just to abandon Tenko.

This is false. We know it. Shigaraki wanted to destroy the society that rejected him and his friends. He wanted to destroy the illusion of peace All Might gave everyone. He wanted to be a Hero to the League, to the Villains, to those who suffered under Hero Society. He was never able to release a statement about it, so I can't blame people for thinking this of him, but he did have a cause and he did have ideas and it wasn't just a tantrum.

And because the League is an Alliance, the goals of each of his teammates was part of his goal - Dabi wanted to destroy Endeavor (succeeded, portrayed as right just last chapter); Toga wanted to destroy the idea of normal; Spinner wanted heteromorphobia dealt with; Compress wanted reform.

(Unless—Shigaraki meant what he said to Deku. That he was just a crying child. However, that is also later contradicted by him depending on Deku for the destruction to be staying and complete.)

This is the thing that Spinner’s book can counter… Like I said before, it seems like he's valorizing empty destruction, but it really isn't. But will it seem that way to anyone else?

Talked about the "police investigation" and "tragic past" here. Does this mean people know about the Shimura and AFO and the grooming? Do they know???

Do they know about Shigaraki’s tragic past or not??? That he wouldn't have existed without All For One? Or do they think kids like that do get kidnapped and groomed into evil often enough for the next Shigaraki to already be existing and is in fact waiting for a chance to strike?

As for All For One, people definitely don't know his past, so of course they think he’s just an evil that pops up. I wonder if they think he’s evil because he's a lonely man (what Deku said) or because he has a too-strong quirk that is easy to take advantage of people with?

Mostly I think they should make sure there’s no homeless people out there without healthcare (AFOFA Mom).

[rancid-zinnia-onthepatio]

MCU's Mysterio was lackluster.

DISCLAIMER: if you like MCU Mysterio THAT IS FINE. I probably love a character you dislike! This is my opinion, it’s not fact.

I become very passionate about characterization, so it’s likely this can be seen as an overreaction to other people. But this is what I like to do so :DDD (I love over-analyzing characters)

So, I’ve obviously been in a Mysterio phase the past little while. I watched Far From Home because I had only heard from people around me about the MCU version of the character. I never watched any MCU movies (besides NWH when it came out), so I didn't know what to expect. At this point, I have watched all of TSSM, read Mysterio’s first issue and a couple others from that era, watched his episodes in the ‘94 cartoon, read Webspinners, and Amazing Mary Jane. I say I have some understanding of what/who Mysterio essentially is.

MCU’s Mysterio, in my opinion, isn’t a good representation of who Mysterio is as a character. The movie seems to only understand him at a surface level. What similarities does MCU’s version have with the common comic consensus? He’s good with technology (and some acting), he’s a liar and a manipulator, and was underappreciated by the people around him. They both also mention illusions, as that is Mysterio’s ENTIRE shtick.

However, I’d argue MCU’s version doesn’t really delve as much into that aspect as it could. Yes, at the time of Mysterio’s debut in the comics, CGI wasn’t really a thing. Perhaps the MCU decided to “modernize” him. But instead, it felt to me, like someone painting an old Victorian house beige to modernize it. Changing his practical effects/magician knowledge to an understanding of holograms feels cheap. Comic Mysterio would absolutely HATE exclusively using CGI. Do other variants use holograms? Yes, TSSM used them a few times. But he also included practical props and magic tricks. Mysterio is a multi-media creative, not just a technician. (To me, anyway.)

The last scene of the movie that features Beck had the perfect opportunity for him to use a robotic clone instead of ANOTHER hologram to trick Peter while he was dying. The smoke surrounding him could've been emitted by the drones, but it was holographic too.

But, holograms are all MCU Beck knows. The other members of his crew had all of the creative or technical traits that the multi-talented stuntman of the comics would have. His character, Quentin, wasn’t even his idea. (Quentin isn’t even his real name, apparently. But we never find out his real name, we just know him as Beck.)

He’s a liar and a manipulator, sure, but that's the most he has that's really in line with who Mysterio is.

He doesn’t have that signature ego the traditional Mysterio is solely reliant on. (To the point where most jabs about him made by Spidey are about said pride. Even in an old PS2 game he called a large robot version of Mysterio “almost as big as [his] ego.”)

When he saves the city from the water elemental, he simply salutes and leaves while the crowd cheers. Mysterio would encourage the cheering, revel in it, as that’s who he is. Hell, even while fighting every elemental in the movie, he does not even try to make a snarky remark or make himself seem cool. (He never even speaks! Only when Peter joins him in fighting does he speak during fights, but it's only to Peter.) Webspinners gave us the idea that Beck knows he’s not the coolest guy ever, but as Mysterio, he can be greater. There is no separation between Beck and Mysterio in the movie, there’s hardly a mask he is putting on (or rather fishbowl). Sure, he tells Spider-Man that “Mysterio is the truth!” seemingly to make Mysterio a symbol, but it falls flat for me.

Usually, Beck and Mysterio are almost two distinct people. Mysterio in the movie has no signature voice or way of speech that makes him grander than the average joe Beck is.

MCU Beck’s given backstory can be interesting, if it weren’t for how it is framed. Note: I do not care about Tony Stark or any of his friends, everything I know about him is surface level. Beck expresses that his holographic technology was taken by Stark and insulted. Supposedly, Beck was fired for being, as he put it, “unstable.” We do not see what this really means. How this scene read to me is that a rich man took advantage of an employee, and thus framed him as mentally unwell to discredit him should he speak up. It could be from my knowledge of Disney’s employee treatment that gives me this icky feeling seeing this scene being framed as “unreasonable” in a way. How dare Beck, a man who’s life's work was stolen and insulted by someone much more powerful than him, get angry at the MCU’s golden boy?

Could Beck be an unreliable narrator here? Absolutely, but from what I heard this is not the first time something like this happens in regards to Stark.

Beck, to me, didn’t read like a loser who puts on a fishbowl to take on a much bigger personality. He feels like a man who you could replace with anyone, and it wouldn’t make that much of a change.

It is such a difference watching that movie, then watching any of his variants in cartoons or reading them in the comics. It’s not even an interesting difference. It’s not a twist on his character that makes me go “Oh, that’s cool.” I'm just left disappointed.

If Beck wasn’t framed as an irrational, short-tempered monster after his “twist reveal,” there could be something to say about his character. He has a legitimate reason to be upset, but it sucks that that is the only motivation he has (and that this motivation drives him so up the wall that he’s willing to kill Peter and mass amounts of people. Mysterio is rarely framed as a killer, from what I’ve seen.).

Yes, Beck is traditionally a very petty man. But my issue is that the backstory also just HAS to include Tony for the sake of Disney's meatriding of him and for Peter's grief the whole movie.

If we use this backstory for him, it could be a representation of lower wage employees being treated as disposable. It could give him some much needed depth. This depth is lost when he gets the “angry killer” characterization after his reveal. It no longer feels like a backstory that makes the audience sympathetic towards him, it feels like we’re just supposed to see that story as the supporting evidence for him being “unstable.” (Because Disney doesn’t want us to side with the lower wage employees that they regularly take advantage of. Look guys! He’s the villain for a reason!)

I could be wrong. This could be a show of how a grudge can turn you into a shell of your former self and lead you down a bad path. Perhaps Beck did have some mental health issues that enhanced his irrationality and anger, but I don’t think that was the intent at all. The framing doesn't feel like we're supposed to feel bad for him. But I do to an extent.

MCU “Quentin” Beck does not feel like Mysterio. He just feels like a guy who knows how to make holograms and maybe says the word "illusion" five or so times.

The illusion Peter is stuck in before he gets hit by a train is actually the only scene I like. There are creative visuals and trippy imagery. But that's one scene, and it's not even that long. Disney, you made the pink elephants on parade segment, do that more.

I simply wished we got the pathetic theater major we ("we" as in Mysterio likers) know and love.

tagged: @mango-water, @cronchyy2, @bluebutterflytears

[co-mixed]

Doctor Doom - The Loveable Autocrat 

Fantastic Four #247 is quite an issue. It impressed me so much, I decided to dedicate a whole post to a single issue. If you’ve been around for a while, you know I almost never do that. There’s usually not enough to say about just one single. And yet, this one forced me to reflect on real-world history and very controversial ideas presented in the book. 

What’s Up

In this issue, the Fantastic Four are forced to help Doom reclaim his place as the monarch of Latveria. Since he was defeated by, well, also the Fantastic Four, his rightful (according to him, obviously) place has been taken by Zorba. Doom can’t think of anything better than taking FF on a tour of the new and improved Latveria in order to show them how much worse life without Doom actually is. 

Now right off the bat, I have plenty of issues with this whole premise. First of all, Doom is a dictator. A nasty, unapologetically evil dictator, whose country is messed up no matter which way you look. We know that from the issues #84-87 in which the FF with Crystal on their team, end up traveling to Latveria to witness the beauty of Doom state. It’s not a pretty picture either: it looks like the land of the free, dressing like it’s the 1910s instead of 1960s, and fachwerk. 

It’s impossible to hide the fact that the people are brainwashed and afraid of their own shadows.

You are free to call me out on imagining too much, but we all know exactly how these states function. 

The Background

In Latveria, the people are forced to love and praise Doom. As long as they keep their head low, do their job, don’t ask for anything, and don’t cross Doom directly- they can live a normal life. This illusion of normalcy comes from everyone knowing their place and the rules to follow. And on paper, it even sounds like a textbook Utopia. It's anything but.

In one issue, for instance, Doom is exercising a favored trick among his peers: a peasant bumps into him, and Doom pretends to forgive him.

But we as readers aren't that easily fooled. He's obviously terrified because he knows the rules, and the main one is to love and obey the "leader". Already sounds culty if you ask me. But what this does in terms of narrative is it establishes the condition of Doomism — his state is built on fear, not on respect. 

When the FF approach the border, they are immediately informed that neither side (neither the soviet bloc nor the democratic countries) can protect their people within Latverian borders. Latveria does not recognize any international agreements or laws which means absolute, unlimited, uncontrolled power in one set of metal hands. If you underestimate the severity of it, imagine that your absolute authority on all matters including basic freedoms is one man who may or may not be insane. 

Like any self-respecting dictator, Doom has a private guard. The one that shoots people if they try to escape his land (which hey, is one of the basic freedoms, shocking.) Doom is clever enough to know what he’s doing, and not nearly naive enough to imagine that if he had allowed his people to move about freely, they would move outside the border and never come back. You can trust me on that. 

When Doom is once again consumed by his desire to destroy the accursed Fantastic Four, he doesn’t think twice about sacrificing a whole village of his “beloved subjects”. And even before that, when his private bot guard gets out of hand, he even informs the populace that anyone who dies would be considered a hero. Sounds vaguely familiar, doesn’t it? If it doesn’t, consider yourself lucky. But keep in mind that the whole situation is solely Doom’s fault. And he handles it in the worst possible way with little regard for his people. 

None of this screams “a leader who truly cares.”

After reading this issue I figured it would've been better and made Doom more sympathetic if his subjects were actually happy. He could've been established as a just and respected leader, especially considering how his predecessor mistreated the people. 

Even with all that, It's hard to imagine such a scenario since power corrupts indiscriminately. Sure, that could've given a complex twist to his character as well as added conflict to the decision the FF ultimately had to make. It could have been a commentary on cultural and historical differences since:

a: monarchies are not that rare in Europe. 

b: Latveria was surrounded by communist states, so it had enough struggles as is. 

That, of course, didn't happen and we got a plain and simple dictator, who follows every other page from the dictators' handbook. A very black-and-white view that was not uncommon for comic books in the '60s and the '70s. 

Changing Spots

In issue #247, John Byrne takes it upon himself to retcon the essence of Doom. This makes sense, the ‘80s have elevated comic book narratives and gave depth to many characters. 

Doom was not an exception. With the FF walking the streets of Doomstadt, we see the devastation that his successor brings to the land. And to top it off, we hear the tragic story of the last few months since Doom has been ousted.

Zorba Fortunov is the heir apparent to the Latverian throne. His father and brother were both murdered by Doom but you shouldn’t feel too bad because they were terrible people and even worse rulers. So is Doom, but we know Doom and we don’t know those guys. 

Doom also tortured Zorba (because, and I don’t want there to be any confusion, torturing your political opponents is exactly what Dooms do.)

Now initially Zorba was portrayed as a member of the resistance who was looking to restore democracy in Latveria. Well, restore would be a loud word. Long story short, with the help of American superheroes (who shamelessly collaborate with the government) Zorba comes to power. 

But democracy is apparently too hard to handle for the state. Because turns out (according to Doom and his loyalists), the repressive laws were actually for the good of the people. They were too afraid to commit crimes. For some reason, they also immediately stopped working which may or may not indicate forced labor. And the ‘prosperous nation of Latveria’ fell into complete disarray. That’s confirmed by a few destroyed streets and fearful citizens but other than that, there is only Doom’s word to prove that. 

This is a great time to note that any major economic transformations are risky and may result in poverty and a rise in crime. Especially in a society that’s not prepared to said changes in stages. We have actually seen that with post-soviet states. 

Either way, Zorba revoked Doom’s cruel laws and punishments (from what we have seen so far, they include murder if “the master” is in a bad mood and you are in his proximity). People were promised an election (which it seems like Zorba really planned to have.) But some happy and liberated citizens of Latveria chose violence and it became so bad, Zorba declared martial law. Which naturally gave him all the power… that he was supposed to already have as an absolute monarch. But who cares? 

Zorba reprogrammed Doom’s personal guard to police the streets and they are referred to as ruthless (as opposed to Doom’s tender and caring ones?)  

So slowly, learning this story, the Fantastic Four figure that the devil they know is actually pretty good compared to the devil they helped install. Despite there being little difference except the fact that Doom was planning to rule till the day he dies (and possibly after). 

And then we see that he cares so much, his main priority is restoring Latveria to its former glory. 

But… why?

Of course, my main question is the idea behind this whole narrative. Are we supposed to believe that a shaky democratic state is much worse than the iron rule of one leader with order? Or is it something very specific to the people of Latveria? If Doom is so great, why does the Fantastic Four fight him relentlessly when he tries to take over the world? And why do they feel entitled to repeatedly make decisions and instigate conflict on behalf of the people of the country? 

I don’t have the answer, I see the story and the attempt to rewrite Doom’s history into something that can justify keeping him around. But if he’s a dictator, if he’s a tyrant, we probably shouldn’t romanticize him that much. Because once again, I want to look at the Latverians here - we rarely really do. They went with a democratic choice, with a possibility of change. And there must have been reasons for that, I mean they were NOT happy. In one of the issues, Doom murders the Ambassador of his own country (ok it was a doombot but if you ask me, same difference). So how exactly does that align with the just leader narrative?

If the idea was to not interfere and let things flow naturally as they are supposed to, why does the FF help reinstall Doom?

Let’s be honest, Zorba doesn’t care much for the people. He proves it in that same arc. But neither does Doom, that’s no secret. And neither do Reed, Sue, Johnny, or Ben. Everyone is this story has their own interests and not one of them is the prosperity of the country. 

They might be able to rewrite Doom and turn him into a good leader, I wouldn’t be surprised because I’ve seen heroes shake hands with him later on. But it still will always feel like a hypocritical joke. 

The suggestion that Doom might be better for the country is one I have a hard time with, on so many levels. We can’t trust the collective amnesia of the populace, caused by the trauma of drastic changes.

At the end of the day, either option is bad for Latveria. Doom is vengeful and bloodthirsty and so is Zorba. Both occasionally had good intentions. In both cases, they didn't matter. Zorba was the rightful monarch, while Doom was an usurper yet both revolutions happened with the participation of the FF. And it doesn't seem like free Latveria is this team's priority.

[pruneunfair]

"My feelings on" part 4: into the light once again and how it only takes a few gross tropes to taint what could've been a perfect piece of work.

I remember seeing the trailer for it so many times back in 2018 but I never got to read all of it since Tappytoons has a 30 ad policy just to get enough to buy on chapter. It's really good, wholesome families, sibling dynamics, a smart villain, and a magic system so the fantasy aspect wont be abandoned for cheap fanservice.

The protagonist used to be known as Alisa, 4th princess of Edenverre and was mistreated by family and servants with the exception of her younger sister, the golden child Marianne who is later revealed to be the mastermind behind the false accusations of poisoning Marianne Alisa faces. She is executed by her own family and comes back as the princess of the enemy empire Elmire, now known as Aisha she swears to one day get justice on her sister.

The revenge plot may be overrated but Into the light does it well enough that I could look past it. The politics and world building are fantastic and the element spirits low-key reminded me of gacha studio or genshin impact characters, and characters like Ashley and Mina aren't enemies for Aisha to defeat, they are people who make mistakes and are allowed to grow.

My favorite part of course is the villainess Marianne, she geninuely scares the hell out of me with her uncanny valley vibe she emits, there's always something so off about her and she reminds be almost of a monster who would star in the conjuring. Marianne has the ability to brainwash others and while I can't tell which, she either steals Alisas body or she causes an illusion affect to alter her and Alisas forms to the family of Edenverre (Really confusing but i like it) and while Marianne doesn't have as much screen time as I wished I enjoyed her while I could, because into the light treats Marianne with respect as an antagonist.

Marianne barely showing up may not even be a bad thing entirely, because while revenge is part of it, the story is built more on healing from your trauma and surrounding yourself with positive influences so it's reasonable that most chapters would center around Aishas powers and her family.

My only small gripe is a petty one but I'm pretty sure the author is an only child 😭. I'm not saying that Aisha and Ysis should be full on murdering eachother but their so unbelievably protective of eachothers feelings to the point of Ysis disliking the idea of any man wanting to marry his sister in the future, ive even seen some fans get concerned that it was going into a brothe-sister thing (especially when he was included as an option for men for Aisha to be attracted to ick)

As someone who has lived with 3 siblings, the excitement for a new baby sibling dies after 3 weeks at most. But hey, they do got a large palace, maybe Ysis just had the luxury of not needing to listen to his baby sister cry at night. I also don't understand why Ysis would immediately believe that Aisha was a reincarnated soul that could remember her past. Like I know he loves her but if my sister started to tell me she was the executed princess in a past life I'd be more concerned.

I wish I could say that was the only thing I didn't like.. unfortunately as much as I love into the light once again, it doesn't stay great for very long. That was my only small gripe because I have a lot of large problems with the love interests

Aisha is 14 and turns 15 at some point but for most of the series, she's a young teen and all her love interests are leaps and bounds older then her. Starting with the big one, Luminas, a 2000 year old king of light who meets Aisha WHEN SHES STILL A BABY!

"Damn, too early, ill give it 13 more years."

Not even the second male lead is safe, Veon is the youngest of the male leads and he's basically watched Aisha grow up since he was Ysis's friend. I can't remember his exact age but I know he is at least 20 which is just... that doesn't make it any better!. There's also apparently some dude named Arsen who's also at least 25 years old and one of Alisas childhood friends, I've heard people say he's another love interest but I haven't seen anything confirmed myself so I'll just hope my 2nd favorite character isn't going to be going after minors.

I'm starring to think the author has an age-gap fetish at this point.

Quick thing I wanted to bring up, a lot of the comments on this chapter have been uncomfortable not just with the age gap and pedophilic weirdness but also this dress. It doesn't look bad but it's built like a maternity dress and for some reason she looks pregnant in a lot of shots which just.. I'm gonna hope we're all just overthinking that one because the last thing this manhwa needs is implications that Aisha will get pregnant young.

While there is a lot of people who are rightfully uncomfortable with the 2000 year age gap, there is also a lot of people justifying it. "He treats Aisha well though!" "It was normal in that time!" "Your just being too soft! Let Aisha be happy!!"

Let me bring up some real history for minute.

This is Isabella of Valois during her wedding with Richard II, she is the youngest bride currently known about in the medieval era

Isabella was only 6 years old when she married her 29 year old husband.

This is Margaret Beaufort.

She was 12 when she got married to her 24 year old husband and 13 years old when she gave birth to Henry VII

And probably one of the more well known examples, Catherine Howard.

She could have been as young as 15 and as old as 17 when she married Henry VIII who was 49.

Now did these examples make your skin crawl? Did they make you feel disgusted? Well they should, just because it was normal in that era, doesn't mean it's all of a sudden fine. There isn't even the cheap excuse that Aisha is technically over 20 given her mental age since Alisa died at 14 and Aisha is very clearly still mentally a young teenager.

Luminas and Veon are definitely nowhere near the personalities of men like Henry VIII but that also doesn't make it okay either. Especially when Veon basically watched Aisha grow up and she's his friends little sister! and Luminas knew her since she was an infant. Would it be that hard for Aisha to at least be a young adult and not a 14 year old. Because it really feels like Luminas is waiting for her to be legal since he already tells her she's his ideal woman when she's still a 14 year old.

Conclusion: Into the light once again is a beautiful story about healing from your trauma and the writting and the characters are just amazing. But it all feels like it's backpeddled when it's so heavily romanticizing or just straight up ignoring the fact that Aisha is basically a grooming victim, the relationship is practically covered in glitter to make it look better, "Sure Luminas is 2000 years old and Aisha isn't even an adult but at least he's so nice to her and he teachers her how to summon spirits! He'll always protect her!" Because while Luminas will (hopefully) never hurt her. Real groomers absolutely will. It pushes the message that as long as the man who is old enough to be your dad is sweet to you and protects you, then it's fine if he has feelings for you. Intentional or not. A story about healing from trauma supporting relationship where ones a child and ones a god with a mature mental age to boot is kind of like when movie producers fucked up the original meaning of Lolita.

Coming up on the next "My feelings on":

[sugurushimura]

Either I made this up or this definitely was a thing but I remember reading one of your posts about what higuchi's childhood was like and the economic situations of the time. at the end of the post you suggested you might expand on it in the future so I was wondering if you had any fresh thoughts on the topic?

yes, i mentioned this briefly in my higuchi analysis! @mikami also talked about this topic before here, and i recommend giving that post a read since it's a large part of what got me thinking about the circumstances of higuchi's youth in the first place.

i'm not a huge expert on the japanese economy, especially from before i was born, but i do have a few more thoughts on this. higuchi was born in 1972, at the very tail end of the japanese economic miracle. the 1973 oil crisis marks the end of it, but the japanese economy withstood the impact and remained strong (from my limited understanding) until the asset price bubble burst in 1992, which just so happens to be the year higuchi turned 20.

so higuchi grew up during a very strong time for the japanese economy. since he's from a wealthy family, i imagine he would have lived well even if the economy had been worse; what's more important imo is that times were good and the higuchi family was optimistic. since the japanese economic miracle started in 1955, depending on his parents' ages, it's possible that they didn't even remember a time before the miracle. (personally i think his father is older than that, but ymmv.)

higuchi grew up in a financially optimistic environment and had the idea that his bright future was not just a possibility, but a certainty. as he went through his schooling, i think he always had the idea that it was all stupid and not worth putting effort into since he was going to get a cushy corporate job when he grew up anyway. he was a mediocre student; he had enough resources to ensure that his work was passable, but was only rarely motivated enough to do particularly well. higuchi jiro, in my mind, was always a strict and cold man, and while higuchi never exactly fell behind his peers, he certainly fell short in his father's eyes.

more than academic success, i think higuchi focused a lot on his social standing and what his peers thought of him. unfortunately, he struggled to find somewhere he fit in. despite being a rich kid, the idea of rebellion was always cool to higuchi, and deep down he longed to be special and rebellious in a way that you can never fully be when you're trying (however halfheartedly) to live up to higuchi jiro's expectations. the other rich kids who he hung out with only tolerated him; every counterculture movement he brushed shoulders with rejected him. his luck with women was never very good, either; the few relationships he had in school were mostly shallow and ended unceremoniously. by the time he graduated, higuchi had grown into a somewhat lonely person thirsting for approval and belonging.

eventually he graduates and goes to university for the customary degree before setting out for an office job. i really don't think there was any significance in picking political science except that it's generally employable and seemed more interesting to study as an 18 year old than business or a similar degree did.

i've grown fond of the idea that at some point between high school and yotsuba, higuchi decided to quit college and flee to the states before very quickly being robbed of his illusions and returning to japan. i've tossed it back and forth, and i think what happens is this: the economy crashes in the middle of higuchi's college years, and he realizes abruptly that getting a job might be harder than he thought, and that the job itself will almost certainly be more difficult to maintain. he grows angry at the world for seemingly fucking him over right before he could've benefited from the economy as a working adult, and it occurs to him that maybe all this work won't be worth it in the end. in a moment of anger and desperation, he books a plane ticket to america, embarking on what was supposed to be some sort of glamorous soul-finding journey. this doesn't go as well as he'd hoped, and ultimately he returns to japan with a man his father hired to find him. this unpleasant, embarrassing experience resigns higuchi to the corporate life he'd planned on previously.

so ends his life as a child and begins his life as a childish adult, and so cements a strong "i deserve better than this and everyone/the world is out to undermine me" complex. i guess that's what happens when you don't get the future you feel you were promised.

[entityupdates]

This post contains spoilers for chapter 13 of Destructive Interference.

So. N. Looking forward to the comments to see if this made sense or not.

Quick summary of what was revealed in chapter 13: Ingo's Zorua siblings from Hisui were reincarnated as N and a Unovan Zoroark in modern times.

The in-universe explanation is basically just that sometimes Zorua spirits don't want to die and Ingo's Zorua brother and sister weren't done being part of Ingos story.

The real explanation is far longer.

Initially I was going to talk about this in Boss, Warden, Alpha (the unused but still posted epilogue where Ingo writes a memoir about the events of Masking) but I started writing Destructive Interference before I posted Boss, Warden, Alpha so this little detail was edited out:

Originally Ingo's Zorua brother was going to be a past incarnate of Emmet and Ingo's Zorua sister was going to be a past incarnate of Elesa.

Only two people have noticed this so far! I mostly edited it out of Masking but there are a few lines in the early chapters, especially chapter 1, that referenced this. The main thing that remained is that Ingo's sister/not-Elesa-anymore/Theta prefers to disguise herself as an Electric-type (Luxray) but there are a few other details intended to be foreshadowing were left in.

Note: Destructive Interference is a spin-off so Runt and Theta are not Emmet and Elesa or N in Masking. The timeline doesn't make sense for that.

To lay it out a little more clearly:

In Masking, Runt's ghost/soul (ghosts and souls are not the same thing in this fic but for convenience let's say they are) was taken from one of Lady Sneasler's kits. He goes to the modern world and was not further reincarnated. Ingo's sister's ghost/soul was taken from an Alpha Luxray. She remained in Hisui so it is still possible for her to be reincarnated as Elesa but I've never touched on this and don't plan to.

In Destructive Interference, Runt is a Sneasler kit turned Hisuian Zorua turned N. I never address if N is a Zoroark disguised as a human or not but it is implied that his past life as a Zorua is the reason he can understand Pokémon. Theta (Ingo's sister) was an Alpha Luxray turned Hisuian Zorua/Zoroark turned Unovan Zoroark. It is implied that N and Theta were reborn in modern Unova through "regular" means of reincarnation.

The original version of Masking had Ingo's Zorua siblings be "new" ghosts/souls. When they died in Hisui, they were reincarnated as Emmet and Elesa in modern Unova. I decided not to stick with this idea because I thought it was too complicated and would distract from my original intention with Masking (to explore how Zoroark illusions work but I gave up on that like halfway through and no one cared anyway).

I'm thinking about eventually doing another spin-off where I write out this idea of Emmet and Elesa as future lives of Runt and Theta but I don't want to commit to anything.

But back to Destructive Interference, it does seem kind of random that N and his Zoroark friend are Ingo's siblings and they're not in the fic for very long. This is intentional. Sometimes there are just regular people in stories that aren't main characters but affect the plot. Arceus just thought they deserved to know where their brother ended up and sent them to the future.

Runt and Theta totally could've been Emmet and Elesa in Destructive Interference but the appeal of the fic is waiting for Emmet's reaction when he learns Ingo is a Zoroark so if Emmet was also a Zoroark, I don't think it would be as satisfying.

TLDR; N and Theta are reincarnations of Ingo's Zorua siblings because they were always intended to be reincarnated.

[jackfrostsisterssisterinlaw]

1st floor (the 8 show) - SPOILERS

this is just a few scattered thoughts. THERE ARE SPOILERS.

SPOILER ALERT

SPOILERS

THERE ARE SPOILERS

I was rewatching his ________ and I realised he didn't deserve that at all. He had control of everyone in the end. All the weapons were at his disposal. They were tied up and he could've started cutting their body parts or done something cruel that the higher floors like 8 probably would've considered, to be entertaining. But he only used himself as the source of entertainment. No one was a tool.

I know that he was absolutely horrendous before to the higher floors to extend the time and he definitely was cunning in not telling them about the room change, but can you blame him? They were all treated like absolute shit and were used as tools by the higher ups so it felt justified to do the same. That's where my dilemma comes in because although in the end he's his own tool, when he copies the higher ups he makes the others , tools.

Then I realised that his death might symbolise the hypocrisy of society. The 8th floor tortured every single one of them and her end was just getting arrested. He tried to regain some control but his actions ended in his death. The inequality of punishment because of the social hierarchy built in that room and outside, might be being highlighted.

Then moving back to how he was selfless in the end in terms of getting more time, it's a majority point of view that those with the least contribute the most right? Like you'll always hear stuff like stray animals get fed by the poor people while for the rich, hunger is something they don't understand. And I absolutely agree many people do contribute who are well off but the very fact that even with such little for themselves, they contribute and share the food they may have, might show how even with the least money he was able to be selfless and just use himself.

Yeah I guess the difference is he may have been selfish in wanting time but in the end everyone was going to get more money with his actions. And no one else was going to get hurt.

Im not exactly sure what to make out of the fact that he didn't tell anyone about the room change until desperation hit. I guess it shows no matter what a nice person you are, if you know knowledge of something will create conflict you are going to keep it to yourself. Sure its super devious but anyone could've asked about it. And also let's just say he did tell everyone about it. Everyone would just be wasting their money trying to buy each others rooms and realising how long they were expected to stay.

Along that idea, not so much about 1st floor but more on the whole show, the fact that fake is real within the show or real is fake, the whole scenario of the receipt was such an illusion. He never specifies how much it is to buy the 8th floor, and the game allows him to stay delusional because of the absurdity of switching room prices. Then the no pockets and the whole set up downstairs also highlights how everything is an illusion.

This whole thing is one big ramble. Share your thoughts please because his character is still so so intriguing. All of them are. So I'd love to know more thoughst and other interpretations

[toaster-ay]

Alright folks. This is something I've wanted to talk about for a while now, but just now I decided to actually write it all down and hopefully make sense of myself.

Long ass ramble about BATIM and some lore from official books.

So far I've got my hands on two Bendy books, that is The Illusion of Living and Dreams come to life (I also have the Employee's Handbook but that one isn't lore important). I plan on getting the rest of the book in the future but let's look at these two for now.

The Illusion of Living is Joey Drew's memoir, written all by himself. In this book we get to know quite a lot about Joey, more or less his whole life.

We get to know that he comes from a family of shoe makers, that he lied about his age at 13 so he could join the war. Or that he likes to dress and look fancy long time before he actually is fancy, just because it makes him feel better and gives the illusion that he's someone important. We even get to know that he once joined a Detective when he was investigating murder. And that he can appreciate good art while also drawing slightly himself.

What I want to look deeper into though, is the way he and Henry met. Thanks to the game (and even fandom), most people assume they were best friends for a long time. That they would go to hell and back for each other. But that wasn't actually the case??

Joey and Henry met through a mutual friend, Abby Lambert, and he actually didn't like Henry at first. Joey didn't like the cartoon artstyle, which is what Henry mainly drew. So they didn't have anything in common.

That was until Joey got the idea for Joey Drew studios, and asked Abby for help to come up with the main character, since she could draw better than Joey. Well, Abby tried, but it didn't end up as they wanted. And then Abby took Henry for help and went to Joey together, and let me tell you, Joey actually wasn't really thrilled for Henry to come with her.

But, after a few tries, Henry was able to come up with the right design for Bendy. Joey and Henry decided to work together after that, but Henry left the studio not that long after. It's said that Abby started to work in the studio three years later, but it's also said that Abby and Henry never ended up working together. And Joey didn't really seem to care for Henry.

He acknowledges him, but isn't mad at him.

It's just so interesting, why is Joey so angry at Henry in game, if he didn't seem to actually care about him in the book? Could've been a mistake from the writer, or I don't know.

This is just something I've wanted to point out for a while, and I'm super open to starting a conversation with someone about this!

Now let's look at Dreams comes to life

This book is written from the point of view of Daniel Lewek, also known as 'Buddy', who is also the character that ends up being the Boris we all know and love in game.

I love how this book is written, since it's written after Buddy is corrupted by the ink, and he's slowly forgetting all of this, so he's writing it down so there's something left. So the truth is known.

Buddy is hired by Joey to be a delivery boy after a quick meeting when he's delivering him a new suit, but later gets promoted to an artist after Abby Lambert (who is now in the head of the Art Department) sees a drawing that Buddy's grampa actually did, but Buddy ends up lying, since being an animator is something he actually wants to do.

Buddy befriends Dot, who works in the Story telling Department, and she's a really noisy and sneaky character.

Now, something I think is interesting is that, Sammy Lawrence is probably the first character to get corrupted by the Ink machine. Buddy's first meeting with him actually traumatises him slightly, because Sammy jumps at him covered in ink after a pump bursts right above him. Throughout the book, Sammy is depicted to be really interested in ink, while also drinking some from the ink bottles.

Then Buddy has the luck to meet the Ink Demon himself, accidentally even letting him out from the room he was locked in.

And then, Sammy goes missing. That's when even Dot has the pleasure of meeting the Ink Demon, since she and Buddy went to the studio when it was shut down to see what other weird stuff they can find.

When we meet Sammy again, he's already The Prophet that we've seen in the game. And he even already made some sacrifices, Buddy and Dot (and Richie, Buddy's animation coworker) were meant to be part of them too but they were lucky enough to escape. But Buddy's coworker, Jacob, didn't. And when Buddy and Dot find him attached to the Ink machine cowered in ink (they are able to save him actually), they also find already dead bodies of Dave (another Buddy's coworker) and Norman Polk ("Of course no one would notice he was missing. Of everyone in the building. He watched everyone, but no one really saw him" – I'm sorry I had to add this, I absolutely love it)

Dot and Buddy end up having a small fight with the Ink Demon until they get rid of him. Or so they thought, because he ends up grabbing Buddy and pulling him into the ink with him.

When Buddy wakes up after, he's already in the body of Boris. Joey Drew standing above him, absolutely thrilled that they got a perfect cartoon after such a fail with Bendy.

Even if Dreams comes to life was mainly focused on Buddy, it feels like we've got so much lore for all the other characters. Joey shows how much of an asshole he can actually be. Norman shows up a few times, always unannounced and with some information no one else except him knows. Sammy and his grumpy ass that was slowly getting corrupted by ink. Hell, we even got Tom and Joey argument about the Ink machine (and Allison was with Tom!! Holding his hand!!).

These books are really worth reading, and I'm excited when I finally get my hands on the rest of the books.

Alas, that is the end of my ramble. If anyone read it all, here's a cookie for you 🍪

And I'm also super open to have a conversation with anyone about all of this!!

[firenaition]

I've read several Azulaang AUs where Aang gets Azula to open and master all of her chakras. Each with their own take on what's blocking them.

What do you think is blocking all of Azula's chakras? What's your take?

i love these kinds of fics! i think previous authors have hit the nail on the head and done the topic justice already but i'll take a shot at it :D

earth chakra, blocked by fear: shoutout to azula she gotta have the craziest abandonment issues the four nations have ever seen. her fear of betrayal, both from others and her own mind, forces every action to be so controlled that her iron grip messes with the natural flow of her chi. (cut to aang, kissing her forehead and telling her it's gonna be okay etc etc)

water chakra, blocked by guilt: i think this one would be tied closely to her mistreatment of zuko. i truly don't think azula has much room for guilt, but deep down she's thought about how her big brother was just a kid, too, and she didn't have to make an enemy out of him.... and eventually this chakra could be blocked by her guilt over striking aang down as well

fire chakra, blocked by shame: there are obvious takes on this (the agni kai, ozai) but i'd like to think this chakra is blocked by her anger & humiliation from the betrayals at boiling rock and from being bested by katara... failure at the hands of other girls who didn't have to give up their compassion for power.... her pride has never been more wounded... (she is in dire need of a sleepover)

air chakra, blocked by grief: ursa :( ozai :( the relationship she could've had with zuko :( the love and support she wanted from iroh :( all the blood sweat and tears she put into being the most invaluable weapon the fire nation has ever seen, for the sake of her father and her country, only for it all to fall apart in a single day :((

sound chakra, blocked by lies: i think the biggest lie azula tells herself is that she's so far past the point of redemption that she has no choice but to be alone and lean into cruelty. (which aang would show her to be completely untrue!)

light chakra, blocked by illusion: maybe too obvious but i feel like this one's gotta be blocked by azula's ingrained justification of fire nation imperialism / what she believes to be inherent superiority over the other nations, right? like she needs to work on undoing that ideology to truly move on

thought chakra, blocked by earthly attachments: azula has such a concrete idea of undying loyalty that she needs to let go of the idea that people are 'hers' — not her pawns, not her toy soldiers — but rather her friends, family, etc. that she's allowed to just feel normal about! (except aang.... how could she possibly be normal about him)

[jkl-fff]

Been Ruminating on Goro Akechi ...

He *could've* had what he wanted (or claimed to want); he could've had revenge against Shido that plunged the man into a hell of remorse by helping the Phantom Thieves change Shido's heart. And he *could've* had what he needed; he could've had people who genuinely cared about and supported him. Friends.

But in the end, he chose otherwise because he simply couldn't let go of the illusion of control by trusting someone else. He had a plan for revenge, and it was worse than the PT's plan to bring down Shido, but that didn't matter. Out of envy or pride or insecurity, he just couldn't countenance the idea of changing it. Of involving others as equal partners. Of letting someone else actually lead or even simply help him.

It was his fatal flaw. The crux of his tragedy.

Tragedies are always about how they're avoidable-yet-unavoidable. Things could so easily have turned out differently, yet also never would have because of who the characters fundamentally are. It's sad that Akechi couldn't turn away from that, not even to save his own life.