#essay-ish

[rancid-zinnia-onthepatio]

MCU's Mysterio was lackluster.

DISCLAIMER: if you like MCU Mysterio THAT IS FINE. I probably love a character you dislike! This is my opinion, it’s not fact.

I become very passionate about characterization, so it’s likely this can be seen as an overreaction to other people. But this is what I like to do so :DDD (I love over-analyzing characters)

So, I’ve obviously been in a Mysterio phase the past little while. I watched Far From Home because I had only heard from people around me about the MCU version of the character. I never watched any MCU movies (besides NWH when it came out), so I didn't know what to expect. At this point, I have watched all of TSSM, read Mysterio’s first issue and a couple others from that era, watched his episodes in the ‘94 cartoon, read Webspinners, and Amazing Mary Jane. I say I have some understanding of what/who Mysterio essentially is.

MCU’s Mysterio, in my opinion, isn’t a good representation of who Mysterio is as a character. The movie seems to only understand him at a surface level. What similarities does MCU’s version have with the common comic consensus? He’s good with technology (and some acting), he’s a liar and a manipulator, and was underappreciated by the people around him. They both also mention illusions, as that is Mysterio’s ENTIRE shtick.

However, I’d argue MCU’s version doesn’t really delve as much into that aspect as it could. Yes, at the time of Mysterio’s debut in the comics, CGI wasn’t really a thing. Perhaps the MCU decided to “modernize” him. But instead, it felt to me, like someone painting an old Victorian house beige to modernize it. Changing his practical effects/magician knowledge to an understanding of holograms feels cheap. Comic Mysterio would absolutely HATE exclusively using CGI. Do other variants use holograms? Yes, TSSM used them a few times. But he also included practical props and magic tricks. Mysterio is a multi-media creative, not just a technician. (To me, anyway.)

The last scene of the movie that features Beck had the perfect opportunity for him to use a robotic clone instead of ANOTHER hologram to trick Peter while he was dying. The smoke surrounding him could've been emitted by the drones, but it was holographic too.

But, holograms are all MCU Beck knows. The other members of his crew had all of the creative or technical traits that the multi-talented stuntman of the comics would have. His character, Quentin, wasn’t even his idea. (Quentin isn’t even his real name, apparently. But we never find out his real name, we just know him as Beck.)

He’s a liar and a manipulator, sure, but that's the most he has that's really in line with who Mysterio is.

He doesn’t have that signature ego the traditional Mysterio is solely reliant on. (To the point where most jabs about him made by Spidey are about said pride. Even in an old PS2 game he called a large robot version of Mysterio “almost as big as [his] ego.”)

When he saves the city from the water elemental, he simply salutes and leaves while the crowd cheers. Mysterio would encourage the cheering, revel in it, as that’s who he is. Hell, even while fighting every elemental in the movie, he does not even try to make a snarky remark or make himself seem cool. (He never even speaks! Only when Peter joins him in fighting does he speak during fights, but it's only to Peter.) Webspinners gave us the idea that Beck knows he’s not the coolest guy ever, but as Mysterio, he can be greater. There is no separation between Beck and Mysterio in the movie, there’s hardly a mask he is putting on (or rather fishbowl). Sure, he tells Spider-Man that “Mysterio is the truth!” seemingly to make Mysterio a symbol, but it falls flat for me.

Usually, Beck and Mysterio are almost two distinct people. Mysterio in the movie has no signature voice or way of speech that makes him grander than the average joe Beck is.

MCU Beck’s given backstory can be interesting, if it weren’t for how it is framed. Note: I do not care about Tony Stark or any of his friends, everything I know about him is surface level. Beck expresses that his holographic technology was taken by Stark and insulted. Supposedly, Beck was fired for being, as he put it, “unstable.” We do not see what this really means. How this scene read to me is that a rich man took advantage of an employee, and thus framed him as mentally unwell to discredit him should he speak up. It could be from my knowledge of Disney’s employee treatment that gives me this icky feeling seeing this scene being framed as “unreasonable” in a way. How dare Beck, a man who’s life's work was stolen and insulted by someone much more powerful than him, get angry at the MCU’s golden boy?

Could Beck be an unreliable narrator here? Absolutely, but from what I heard this is not the first time something like this happens in regards to Stark.

Beck, to me, didn’t read like a loser who puts on a fishbowl to take on a much bigger personality. He feels like a man who you could replace with anyone, and it wouldn’t make that much of a change.

It is such a difference watching that movie, then watching any of his variants in cartoons or reading them in the comics. It’s not even an interesting difference. It’s not a twist on his character that makes me go “Oh, that’s cool.” I'm just left disappointed.

If Beck wasn’t framed as an irrational, short-tempered monster after his “twist reveal,” there could be something to say about his character. He has a legitimate reason to be upset, but it sucks that that is the only motivation he has (and that this motivation drives him so up the wall that he’s willing to kill Peter and mass amounts of people. Mysterio is rarely framed as a killer, from what I’ve seen.).

Yes, Beck is traditionally a very petty man. But my issue is that the backstory also just HAS to include Tony for the sake of Disney's meatriding of him and for Peter's grief the whole movie.

If we use this backstory for him, it could be a representation of lower wage employees being treated as disposable. It could give him some much needed depth. This depth is lost when he gets the “angry killer” characterization after his reveal. It no longer feels like a backstory that makes the audience sympathetic towards him, it feels like we’re just supposed to see that story as the supporting evidence for him being “unstable.” (Because Disney doesn’t want us to side with the lower wage employees that they regularly take advantage of. Look guys! He’s the villain for a reason!)

I could be wrong. This could be a show of how a grudge can turn you into a shell of your former self and lead you down a bad path. Perhaps Beck did have some mental health issues that enhanced his irrationality and anger, but I don’t think that was the intent at all. The framing doesn't feel like we're supposed to feel bad for him. But I do to an extent.

MCU “Quentin” Beck does not feel like Mysterio. He just feels like a guy who knows how to make holograms and maybe says the word "illusion" five or so times.

The illusion Peter is stuck in before he gets hit by a train is actually the only scene I like. There are creative visuals and trippy imagery. But that's one scene, and it's not even that long. Disney, you made the pink elephants on parade segment, do that more.

I simply wished we got the pathetic theater major we ("we" as in Mysterio likers) know and love.

tagged: @mango-water, @cronchyy2, @bluebutterflytears

[sillybillylance]

i dont think some of yall understand the point of scott pilgrim- scott is a crappy person, and some of the fandom doesnt acknowledge that. HOWEVER, those who do think he is this horrible disgusting mean predator who hates knives and just used her and he hates wallace and he doesnt care about ramona. its not white and black. he sucks, but its due to ignorance, not malice. does that make dating a high schooler and being a jerk okay? no! but people dont acknowledge that he has character development. i think the reason so many people hate him is because hes a realistic character. they see themselves or there friends in him. unlike most fictional characters, he has realistic adult flaws. we all make mistakes. the entire point of the book is character development.

also, hardcore scott defenders: HES WRITTEN TO SUCK. HES NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKEABLE.

and to those who call him a predator or groomer, please acknowledge

the time the story was written

where the story was written

and what grooming actually is (i explained it here)

[dootznbootz]

Do you think Telemachus visits that salted field and thinks of his father?

Penelope tells him how much his father loved him. How he saved him. Kissing his cheek as her own tears fall.

They go together and she tells him how it went, voice trembling, remembering the fear and anger she felt then as it bubbled within her once more.

He's told how his father lunged to save him, thundering hooves nearly crushing his head. How the king trembled as he cooed to his baby. Comforting his son as much as himself, fearing what may have happened if he was not quick enough.

Does Telemachus know that Odysseus would do anything to be able to soothe him again? To kiss those dampened cheeks and pull him into his chest once more?

Does the young prince dig his hands into the dirt? Trying to find anything left from his father?

Does he feel like he also cannot grow just like that field? As though he is partially stunted?

[tovaicas]

not me thinking abt how estinien is consistently one of the most emotionally intelligent characters (at least when it comes to other people) we have yet this is constantly forgotten or minimized

[inkdemonapologist]

My BatDR Take That Used To Be Hot But I Left It Out On The Windowsill To Cool So You Should Be Able to Eat It Now Without Burning Your Tongue

its not actually that hot, is what im saying

Anyway my BatDR hot take is that BatDR's story is not fundamentally worse than BatIM with one exception; an exception that, for BatIM, covers a multitude of sins:

BatIM has a theme.

I can't presume the intentions of the creators, but if I had to write an essay on the themes in BatIM, it wouldn't be hard to pick one out: the cost of obsession, or even just, the ruin Joey brought on the studio. In the very first chapter, Henry asks "Joey, what were you doing?" and every single thing in the rest of the game revolves around that central question: what WAS Joey doing? Each audiolog is a snippet of the studio's path to this messed up state; each character you meet is someone ruined by Joey. The major antagonists echo Joey's flaws -- obsession with Bendy as more than a cartoon, obsession with perfection, obsession with fame and greatness and legacy -- but even without that, they're also each a picture of how the lives of people caught in the path of Joey's dream were ruined by it. Bertrum, for example, doesn't match the concept of rubberhose cartoons, but as yet another person screwed over by Joey, he fits the central question of the story, so he feels like he belongs here. Ultimately, in a narrative sense, the Ink Demon isn't the story's monster -- Joey is; the Ink Demon is just the consequence of his reckless ambition.

But what's the theme or central question of BatDR?

You can... try to pick out a theme. There's some promising options, because it feels like the story WANTED a theme, stating its emotional intentions more overtly -- "there's always a choice" to leave the darkness and chose hope; family and the struggle of living in a heavy legacy's shadow; or even just good old mewtwo-brand The Circumstance's Of One's Birth Are Irrelevant, It Is What You Do With The Gift Of Life That Determines Who You Are.

I think, even WITH the clumsy execution of Joey's "arc" and Audrey's lack of real choices, any of those could work about as well as BatIM. But unlike BatIM, the majority of the game doesn't tie in. Joey's tour can be considered relevant -- a picture of the family legacy and the "darkness" that Audrey doesn't yet know she's inheriting -- but like, the audiologs and hints and environment of BatDR are mostly teasing the question of What Is Gent Up To, and the takeover of Gent is detached from Audrey's choices, her family, her legacy, and Gent never really becomes a relevant threat to those things in this game. The Cult of Amok and the Ghost Train have nothing to do with any of these ideas. It might've been neat if Audrey had ever considered, "Did my father really drive all these people insane?", a hint of actually having to wonder about the darkness in her past. Even Wilson only barely brushes against these concepts; he doesn't like Joey and he also is trying to escape his family's heavy legacy, but it doesn't really reflect on his actions and we don't find that last part out until he's about to be dead.

There's also the question Wilson poses of "real" people versus ink creations, and what counts as valid "life." It would be an interesting theme with a lot to build off of in this setting, it ties into Wilson more as Wilson seems to represent the opinion that Inky Things Aren't Really Alive, which could've tied to Audrey (as an ink-person who has yet to accept that part of herself) and maybe given Wilson a reason to think it's fine to sacrifice her, it could've even tied to Gent (who don't even seem to value human life) -- but after Wilson asks the question, it doesn't tie into the direction things go. He smooshes a little Bendy, we see hints of his disregard for Betty, and then everyone continues with their plan to destroy the Ink Demon without any further moral quandaries about inky life.

The thing is, when you compare an element like, say, audiologs, there's a lot of differences you can point to -- but I don't actually think Lacie Benton's audiolog is notably better, taken on its own, than Grace Conway's or Kitty Thompson's, and yet tons of people were intrigued enough to flesh out Lacie. None of them are big plot points or compelling characters on their own; Lacie and Grace both give us a little note on what it's like working in the Studio, and Kitty shares a little bit on how Gent's expansion is affecting people. But when Lacie talks about Bertrum trying to make a creepy animatronic, that ties back into Joey's ill-fated schemes that are the point of the whole story. The question we're asking through the whole game is "what happened here?" so the fandom is interested in who Lacie is and what her life was like and extrapolates a whole person out of a couple sentences. But that's not the question in BatDR -- what has Wilson done to the Cycle and the Demon? Why? Who is Audrey really, and why is she here? Telling us new things about the Studio's fate seems strangely irrelevant to those questions, just an attempt to create a Mystery To Speculate On like the previous game did... but what question you're asking and how it fits into your story's main theme, like, matters. I absolutely believe that one clock animator guy would've been in EVERYONE'S crew if he'd been introduced in BatIM, but the context makes a difference; fleshing him out feels less relevant here.

The explanations of how and why Wilson did everything he did are baffling and handwavey, but in and of itself that's not a worse problem than anything else in the franchise -- I STILL don't understand why the Ink Machine needs pipes in the walls or even how it works, there's no good reason for Sammy to believe the Ink Demon will "set him free," most of Alice's motives don't make sense, etc etc etc. But the thing is that in BatDR, the wibbly bit is the closest thing to a central question we have! Wilson, what were you doing? The theme doesn't really explore or connect to that question, so the explanations that are finally tossed our way feel lacking in a way that BatIM's handwaved elements don't. There's a lot about Joey's motivation in BatIM that we can't know, but the heart of it resonates -- Joey wanted something, he was willing to exploit people to get it, and he became obsessed and prioritised that dream at any cost. We'll weather a thousand logistical inconsistencies if it's got heart.

But all of that said.... to be honest, I don't think Lacie overtly fits that theme anyway. Even, like, Sammy is iffy -- we don't really know what happened to him, only that he didn't used to be made of ink and worship Bendy, and now he does. We assume Joey's nonsense had something to do with what happened to him (though the books later assert his influence was indirect at best), because when there's a pattern, we can fill in the blank. So many fan creators found a place for Lacie, Grant, and Shawn in the cycle as butcher clones or lost ones, so many people imagined that Wally must be the Boris we meet, because that would've fit the pattern, the idea that the point of what we're seeing is the downfall of the studio. It's not actually that BatIM did a great job tying everything together -- it's that BatIM gave us a compelling idea and that was all it took to make everything else SEEM like it could find a place to fit. This is what I mean when I say BatIM's theme covers a multitude of sins. There's a LOT of characters in BatIM that don't make sense. There's a lot of inconsistencies and things that just sort of happen without any real reason. Characters don't really have "arcs" so much as different states they happen to be in at different times. But because there's a central question and the story doesn't wander away from it, our pattern-loving human brains will slot in all the pieces and do all the work to make the story feel at least somewhat coherent.

The things that happened in BatDR aren't a whole lot less coherent than BatIM imo, they just don't tie into a bigger theme or any of the questions the story's asking, making "how do they fit into all this" feel irrelevant, making it easier to forget entire sections and harder to get invested in audiolog characters. I think a lot of the other criticisms people have for BatDR's story are very valid, but I also suspect that if BatDR had a more successful theme/central question, then a lot of its flaws would be easier to overlook -- just like BatIM.

[samble-moved]

reminder that homura is a middle schooler. she is 13 or 14 years old, depending on source. she is not old enough to drive or have a permit. she is not old enough to live on her own (it's implied her parents are out of the picture in some way — in the US she'd need to be in adoptive or foster care, or at least have a guardian or social worker, but this appears to be handwaved in the series and none are ever shown). she cannot vote. she is not old enough to get a job (earliest i've seen is 14 in the US, and that's usually in not great environments, in summer, and for low pay and short hours). she is only "independent" in the sense that it's forced upon her by lack of any adult support — nobody helps her fill out school transfer forms, she lives alone, she has no shown family or even mentions of relatives, nobody visits her in the hospital, etc.

i say this because a lot of "anti homura" arguments act as if this information doesn't exist, and that homura is "actually an adult" or at the same level as one due to looping. she canonically is not. her brain and physical body are not developing, she is only learning walpurgis tactics and memorizing test answers. her brain is not developing so she's not "mentally 26", like is often claimed by "homura is a predator" truthers. i'm not even going to touch on how weird and borderline creepy it is to say "she's a child but so mature for her age (from extreme, repeated, potentially pre-series trauma), so she must be an adult and can be treated like one".

there is a reason that children are typically tried differently in the US. unless "tried as an adult" for very serious crimes, it is widely accepted that children (and even young adults) are more impulsive, think less rationally, and are generally "less responsible" for their actions due to not having the experiences of a full grown adult. children are less mature, more prone to "overreaction" and panic, and are immature — because they are kids.

homura is a child. she also has extreme trauma, potentially from before the series even began (where are her parents? are they just neglectful? dead? why isn't there even a single adult helping her?) that is never helped or addressed. homura doesn't get help for any issues she has (obvious ptsd and depression, borderline delusions over the past being "just a dream" in wraith arc). she is not some spoiled, rich, mentally stable almost-adult who's never faced a consequence. she is a young and traumatized teenager, young enough to be a middle schooler, and has experienced:

neglectful, absent, missing, or dead family/parents

watching her friends die horrifically almost a hundred times

having zero adult support at all, no caseworker or help

bullying, half being because she's disabled

having her soul ripped from her body without consent and learning if she ever loses her soul gem (or god forbid accidentally drops it somewhere), her body will basically be "dead"

learning she and all her friends turn into eldritch horrors when they die, a process shown in rebellion to be something they are aware for (aka the horror that witches aren't "just" bodies being moved, they are actively and constantly suffering and aware to some degree the whole time)

learning that the witches they fight are girls around their age who fell into despair, and not purposeless monsters

learned of the prospect that witches can potentially "regrow" via familiars, thus if their consciousness transfers, this shows the possibility of literally eternal suffering as the witch is "reborn"

realization that, the more she tries to save madoka, the worse the situation gets

having a full on breakdown with delusions in wraith arc, thinking maybe madoka was all just a hallucination or a dream she had

finding out in rebellion it wasn't a dream, but then thinking she betrayed madoka by not stopping her from contracting

becoming a witch whose whole theme is based around suicide and wanting and waiting to die, but not being able to

being a witch whose familiars are malicious towards her and belittle her

trying to "fix" her believed betrayal of madoka by making a new world, ending up hated by sayaka and isolated from her friends

is still stuck as a witch while the last event happens!!! (her soul gem is never shown purified)

all of this while she is 13-14.

homura is not some cruel adult playing god because she is bored and likes the power trip and wants the world to burn. she is a deeply traumatized and mentally ill child who never got help. she is not a predator — and i honestly don't know if that is more of a "she's a predator because she's the most openly sapphic" or "she's a predator because she's traumatized and thus 'acts weird' due to trauma" belief nowadays in most anti-homura spaces, i've seen both. she is not a murderer or rapist or whatever else i've seen (yes, "homura is a sexual predator" claims exist, despite this never once even being implied). she is not an abuser — you can argue she's cold or rude, but she is not "an abuser".

if a child like homura existed irl (and they do exist), a professional's first thought would not be "this is an evil, irredeemable, abusive predator who can be treated like an adult", it'd likely be a reaction of horror and deep concern of "what happened to this child to make her act this way?". someone being "the perfect victim" — that is, being soft, demure, sweet, docile, flawless — in response to trauma is a harmful myth for a reason. some trauma victims will react with anger. some may be overly happy in an attempt to prevent further abuse. some, like homura, end up acting "cold" to try and avoid being further hurt. it doesn't mean homura doesn't experience emotion, hates her friends and wants them to suffer, is a predator, is "a bad person", etc.

think! when you write posts about how homura is actually an evil, awful, no good, very bad person with no positive traits, remember she is a middle schooler. of course, she's not a "real" child, and thus doesn't exist to have her feelings hurt over it, but consider this: would you say these things to/about a real child? are you aware that "real children" (often victims of trauma themselves) relate to homura due to this? i was one of them at 14ish, and while "homura is evil [for acting like a traumatized child often does]" discourse never left me particularly hurt, i know it does genuinely upset several people i know. and if you had, say, a real life child relative who acted "cold" after seeing their friends die horribly, would you call them an evil and irredeemable abuser as well?

[dilutedh2so4]

Ruth and Naomi: Are They Gay? (part one)

[image is in public domain]

“Ruth said, ‘Do not press me to go back and abandon you! Wherever you go I will go, wherever you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God, my God. Where you die I will die, and there be buried. May the Lord do thus to me, and more, if even death separates me from you!’”

Ruth 1:16-17

You may expect this declaration of devotion to be made between two enamoured lovers. It does sound quite similar to wedding vows, especially "until death do us part" or even "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health." In fact, the YouCat (the Catholic Catechism designed for young people) quotes this exact passage in its section on marriage.

Yet these words were not made as a promise between husband and wife, but instead between two women.

The story of Ruth and Naomi can be found in the aptly named "Book of Ruth." In summary, Naomi's family move from Judah to Moab because of a famine. There, they meet Ruth and her sister Orpah. Naomi's sons marry the two women, and they live in peace for a time. Then, a sudden illness strikes, and both the boys (Mahlon and Chilion) and their father (Elimelech) die.

With nothing left, Naomi decides she must return to her homeland of Bethlehem (in Judah). Ruth and Orpah object, and offer to go with her, but Naomi tries to dissuade them. She says doesn't have any more sons for them to marry, giving them no financial or social security - to her, it seems, she is now useless and worthless. Orpah comes to accept this, remaining in Moab, but Ruth will not relent. It is here she makes her heartfelt speech stated at the start of this post, vowing her entire life to Naomi. Just normal friendship things! This causes Naomi to realise Ruth's love for her, so she finally accepts the offer.

Some of you may be thinking, "This is just platonic! This is just friendship! This is what any woman would do! Why do you have to make everything gay?"

Well, ask yourselves this: is it gay to leave behind your country and all the people you've ever known (including your sister) just to accompany another woman to her homeland?

...A homeland which you have never been to, and where the people there are your enemies? (Numbers 21, Judges 3)

...Travelling across a hostile desert environment, on your own for all we know? (see a map of Moab to Bethlehem)

...Despite your lover insisting you stay, and your sister deciding to stay, but instead you dedicate your life and soul to your lover? (Ruth 1:14-18)

Makes you think.

I can already see your objections: "But then Ruth married Boaz [her male relative]! Naomi told her to do it!"

Again, let us consider Naomi and Ruth's social standing. They were both women, both widows, both poor and starving. Ruth had to go foraging in the fields, collecting scraps of grain left behind so they could eat! (see Ruth 2:2-3, referring to Leviticus 23:22)

*this post is getting long so i'll post part two soon **sorry for the inconvenience lol

image credit: william blake

[remusbuzzcutt]

[eazy-peazy54]

My problem with the Will Wood fandom, (a.k.a touch grass, a.k.a stan culture can suck it) (an essay.)

This one is LONG and a DOOZY, so buckle up if you like to read.

just want to clarify, i do NOT hate the will wood fandom in itself. AT ALL. I love you guys (/p)

i just dislike the people who say weird and creepy shit. if that doesnt apply to you, cool! but tell the people who do that shit to knock it off.

NO DISCOURSE IN THE REBLOGS I WILL ATTACK YOU

One HUGE gripe I have with the Will Wood fandom is how some of you guys treat Will Wood like (and this is literally the only way I can put this that isn't too serious) some all-powerful deity of knowledge that you would kill AND die for. In this essay, I will explain why [some of] you are fucking creeps.

Will Wood. Where do I begin. For the very few who are unaware, Will Wood is a singer-songwriter who makes very strange avant garde whatchamacallit evil jazz/swing music. He has been known as Will Wood since 2015, where he released his first album, Everything Is A Lot, under the name Will Wood and the Tapeworms.

Me personally, I first heard of him from the song Dr. Sunshine Is Dead, from the good old days of 2018 animation meme Youtube.

Ever since the inevitable Tiktokification of the song I / Me / Myself, from The Normal Album, the Will Wood fandom has become... well.. full of children. I have no place to speak, of course, because I myself, am a teenager, but I'm talking like. 11-14 year olds.

11-14 year olds who are all fucking INSANE.

Will Wood has been put in what I like to call;

The Holy Trinity.

This being the big three artists who the mentally ill queers (like me) listen to.

Lemon Demon, Tally Hall, and of course, Will Wood.

Being in this holy trinity has both done him good, and bad. On the positive side, yay!! More streams, more plays, more people to appreciate the craft, and more people who like the music! On the negative side, now you have an army of children listening to adult music, interacting with adult music and music videos, who are willing to do ANYTHING to get your attention, because they are young and don't know much better.

And here, stuck in the middle of it all, is poor William.

Stuck as a straight "gay icon," in a sea of twelve year olds.

Well shit.

---

Leading to the second part of my half-essay.

2020. The year shit changed for Will Wood. The Normal Album was released, and people found themselves relating to I / Me / Myself, as stated before. Then this "new," unheard of fandom was kind of birthed upon Tiktok. They were treating him like fucking jesus.

Which is weird.

They were sad, gay, looking for answers, and found them in Will's music. Which is like. Cool!

But when people were saying that he was trans, and then switched up and said he was making fun of trans people?

Yeah. Not that cool actually.

Coming back to the present now, Will has stated how weird these kids are.

In a response from a AMA for In Case I Make It on the official Will Wood subreddit, (I know. Ew, gross, Reddit, but this post was what inspired me to make this in the first place, so,) Will says this:

---

"When I was living in the sticks along the Delaware during the pandemic, I had this weird sort of mystical thing going on inside my head that was trying connect dots in my life and turn meaningless nothing things into signs that I would die.

This was happening around the same time I was dealing with getting actual public attention for the first time, and was living in an area where nobody wore masks, and was living with people who were at risk of serious covid complications if they caught it. Also for most of it I was the dreaded 27, and having been a bit of a junkie in my younger years and an idiot with a barely-treated psychiatric wreck in my brain for most of the ones following it, it was not unlike me to assume I'd die young.

It just seemed too perfect.

As I was dealing with the reception of the normal album (my first truly scathing reviews, I/Me/Myself "discourse," being the subject of conversation on a larger scale) which was beyond what I was prepared for psychologically in terms of its scope and type, my anxious rumination started to veer toward genuine paranoia.

I started thinking that I would die by my own hand or be murdered by one of these crazed Will Wood fans in the dead of night. So I didn't sleep like ever, I lost a bunch of weight and couldn't gain it back for a while, I freaked out a whole bunch and I'm surprised looking back I never lost my sobriety or whatever.

Since it started to look more and more like cosmic fact that I was doomed, I started to feel greater and greater desperation to get out these songs that I had been quietly writing over the previous year or two. Songs I'd written while going through a big breakup and wrestling with rotten parts of me that were finally accessible due to my finally being properly medicated and dealing with the real shit in therapy. And then songs I'd written as I went through these changes."

---

Obviously that is a lot to unpack for a Tumblr essay, but since you’re this far, you probably read it all already.

“Stans,” as most would call them, and “Stan Culture” as a whole, is just a huge wreck. Everyone is always fighting someone. We know this. We all do. Stans scare artists. 

I want you to think. Think of the artists who are inspired by Will Wood. The ones who want to cater out their music to the Will Wood fans. Imagine if you will, those artists seeing that AMA post, seeing the crazed fans, seeing the relentless sexualization, the jokes about serious issues, like Will’s past drug use, seeing all of this and thinking:

“Is it really worth it?

Is it really worth all of this to make music and put myself out there?”

Now, that may make you uncomfortable, but it's the honest truth. And it's happened to so many people, and so many artists. 

---

And now a message to the disgraced kids who managed to latch on to Will Wood’s music.

Treating a musical artist like a god is not gonna help anyone. I’d know. I’ve seen it happen multiple times, to multiple artists. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is think before posting on the internet. Think to yourself; would I say this to the artist's face? Could someone see this and think differently of me? Is this just weird to say in general?

Remember that these people are real people. Will Wood is a real person. With real thoughts. real feelings. a life to live. He's not just some music making machine. He’s not just some silly character. He’s not just some whimsical guy who we can all project onto.

Will Wood is a real person, and everyone should treat him that way. 

Thank you for reading.

(I will edit this essay if I think of anything else to add. That or I'll just reblog it.)

[northshrine]

oh yes absolutely

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i think you would appreciate the fact that, for all that it's generally considered to be mxtx's goofiest and wackiest work, svsss is like the only novel out of the three that has a whole ass video essay dedicated to it on youtube.

…..you’re right, this is extremely relevant to my interests. 👀 okay once i finally read it and finish it, i will be queuing up this video essay.

[1randomperson15]

Okay, show of hands, how many people tried to do the math problem and/or essay after the Bad Kids failed?

[carnelianwings]

Since I'm not sure if I'll ever get the chance to properly touch on this in a fic because it's more character analysis than something I can properly include in dialogue/exposition without it being very awkwardly out of place and telling not showing, I figured I'd just dump it here. It's something I think about a lot whenever I write for post-Seed Destiny Athrun in a fic, because in so many ways, this is actually something of a non-magical "Ideal (Fake) Reality" situation that Durandal very nearly succeeded in pulling off, but ultimately failed at because Durandal overplayed his hand and underestimated Athrun's loyalty to his friends Kira, who was pulling triple duty opposing Athrun because Kira himself didn't agree with what Athrun was doing, protecting Cagalli, and supporting Cagalli at a time when she was powerless.

It's a trope I very much love in magical/sci-fi settings because it says a lot about the character and the lengths they'll go to get what they want (the willingness and determination to take the longer, harder path to make the dream reality vs the instant gratification option even if it's fake), and also just gives me so much to work with when I write when it comes to character motivation/dialogue/actions.

I feel like a lot of this gets missed in all the memes that he's (somewhat deservedly) suddenly a part of after Seed Freedom, because while Seed Freedom Athrun is very self-assured and confident in his course of action, he definitely took a long hard road (with more downs than ups, in my opinion) between Seed and Seed Destiny to get there.

(Rest behind the cut because there's a reason Athrun Zala is my favorite Seed character, and not just because he's got a lovely voice - thank you Ishida-san for that - and is easy on the eyes.)

When Athrun re-enlists in ZAFT and "continues" his life again as himself, he's given a choice thanks to Durandal's string-pulling: Resume the life that was planned for him by his parents and PLANT (his "destined" life, if you will), or find his way back to the life that he's chosen for himself (with Cagalli and Orb).

If he chose his "old" life, he would've had it all - the glory of being a decorated war veteran, a post as a FAITH member (resuming the role he'd previously gotten thanks to his father), a "Lacus Clyne" for his fiance, and the honor of being the pilot of the Legend (while being something of a "legend" himself). Durandal saw to it Athrun would've seamlessly resumed that life to all external appearances, even if it would've been an absolute sham behind closed doors. Athrun might be a decorated war veteran, but that came with a lot of trauma and grief - trauma from having to fight and kill at such a young age, grief at being the one to survive when those he'd called friends die around him, plus all the unresolved emotional turmoil and grief of having never been able to properly resolve things with his father and his genocidal ideals (because Patrick Zala, too, was a man who never got over his grief at losing Lenore during the Bloody Valentine Incident, and only became the way he did because of that). He might've had a highly coveted position within FAITH, but that power would ultimately be in service to Durandal (a head of state Athrun alternates between wanting to agree with and being directly at odds against). Durandal needed more capable "Yes men" ace pilots like Shinn Asuka to spread and enforce his plans, not people capable of thinking for themselves like Athrun (at least, Athrun got there after Operation Angel Down). The "Lacus Clyne", is, of course, Meer under the best cosmetic surgery money could buy, but she is nothing like Lacus Athrun knows and cares for as a friend and whose cause he had once lent his power to (and would again at the end of the Second War).

And the Legend? It might fit Athrun in name only (in the sense that he's the "legendary pilot who helped end the first Earth-PLANT War) but the entire suit (even if it had an updated OS for the DRAGOON system) doesn't even play to Athrun's core strengths as a pilot. It's almost comedic how Durandal didn't even bother tailoring the Legend to Athrun - the Saviour is more Athrun's style both as a spiritual successor to the Aegis and weapons load out, yet it's coincidental that it would end up in Athrun's hands. There's no way Durandal could've known and planned for the Saviour to go to Athrun, but Durandal arguably had that time with the Legend. In the episode where both the Destiny and Legend are revealed, Durandal made a point of telling Shinn the Destiny was fine tuned to him, but neglects to tell Athrun much about the Legend beyond the DRAGOON system and the updated OS for it (the closest Athrun arguably ever came to a DRAGOON system was flying right past Kira and Rau's duel in front of Genesis at the end of Seed).

On the flip side of that, there's the life Athrun had chosen for himself after the first Earth-PLANT War. It's not an ideal life, not by any means - the fact he's essentially a powerless civilian with no means to reach for his ultimate goal chafes him to no end, especially when there's the ever-looming threat of Cagalli getting taken away from him due to circumstances neither of them want nor are able to deal with. Cagalli can't get out of the arranged marriage, Athrun as "Alex Dino" has no claim to power and as "Athrun Zala" would only invite larger scale international problems - even if Athrun himself has no political ties to PLANT, his family name says plenty. Athrun is patient, yes, but even his patience has a limit, and seemingly losing Cagalli to someone he doesn't respect and she doesn't love (in a reversal of Athrun's situation with Lacus and Kira) pushes him to action out of desperation. And while it puts him at odds with Kira and Cagalli (including lashing out at both of them when Cagalli finally breaks down and gives in and gets coerced into going through with the arranged marriage), it does also get him to realize that he's not the same person he was before the war - he's no longer capable of living that same life he had before, where he would fight where his country tells him because that's the fastest way to end the war. The easy (destined, if you will) option is no longer an acceptable choice for him, because it's not the one that ultimately leaves him fulfilled and truly happy with the one he loves in the end.

And it's this that ultimately brings him back to Cagalli and the (Infinite) Justice, metaphorically reclaiming his sense of justice (ha ha). He's always going to be looking for a cause to serve, and a just cause by his own terms, because he's dedicated far too much of his life serving in the military to just stop doing that and he's spent too much time around Lacus to just mindlessly follow whatever the higher ups say, anymore. So this leaves the only way forward: serve under a head of state whose ideals he can agree with, with the freedom of choice to act according to his own sense of justice, and to that end, there's only one choice for him - return to Orb and Cagalli.

[loregoddess]

still working on my newest Octo2 analysis, and I JUST realized that Ophilia and Ochette--the leading O-characters in the OCTOPATH naming theme--both have the deepest ties to the Sacred Flame in each of their stories.

Ophilia literally carries part of the Flame around as her journey's main objective; and the Flame speaks directly to, and also saves, Ochette in her story.

I mean sure, there's the implication in both games that each set of eight travelers were each chosen by the gods, and it's more or less directly stated in Octo2 that part of the Flame burns in the hearts of all the travelers (and possibly all people, but especially the Chosen Travelers), so everyone has some connection to the Flame, but it is really neat that the leading O-characters are like, directly linked to the Flame.

[discobrainrot]

Do you think Kim would have danced with Eyes?

Kim is a man who takes his job seriously. He jokes with the player (re: "Do-eth thou also thorough inventories?" and "Daba-doop-doop-dead" interactions), but that doesn't erase his dedication. He hates pinball but trained for nine months to be a champion to crack a case. Regardless of the more complex moral questions about his commitment to the RCM and real-world philosophies for/against policing, he is devoted.

Was Eyes just as duty-bound? Was he straight-laced? Was Kim the loose canon between them? Would Eyes have joked around using police codes?

If you convince Kim to dance in the church, you can tell him it's a "Code 31 Emergency." He'll question how you're dancing on a busted leg if you've already done the tribunal. But he doesn't stop you. You can tell him you're undercover or that you "have become dance, destroyer of worlds." No matter what you say to him, he just says:

KIM KITSURAGI - "Good for you!" He looks around the church hall. "Rock on, then..."

You can tell him the Code 31 Emergency is "not enough Kim [on the dance floor]." A passive Suggestion check reveals that hearing you say that cheers him up. He smiles.

Did Eyes make him smile? Did he go to great lengths just for a sidelong smirk? Did he want to cheer Kim up on his worst days? Or was he content with a partner who felt a grim sense of obligation to Revachol and her people?

If you pass the next red check, you can either pull rank on him or tell him that he'll face a disciplinary hearing if he doesn't dance. When he does dance, if you've already done the tribunal and have high enough Esprit De Corps, you get the following insight:

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Part of him is amazed you're both able to just *dance* after all these horrifying events in Martinaise.

Is he amazed because, despite it all, there's joy here? Is he stunned because he never would have done it before, especially after the events preceding it? Does it remind him of a partner he lost? In the days after, does he ask himself what's different this time?

Do you think Eyes would have danced with Kim?

[samble-movedd]

kyubey's main defense for "why do you cause the suffering and deaths of billions, if not trillions, of children?" is something about how the magical girl system (girls contracting, girls turning into witches, etc) creates energy to combat entropy and the heat death of the universe. while kyubey and incubators as a whole are presented as extremely advanced, logical, and emotionless as a species, this "defense" shows how irrational and paranoid they are.

the universe is still in its "early" years. it is not near its end or even its middle years in any sense of the word. entropy and heat death will not be any concern in the slightest for trillions of years, and that's an absolute low ball amount based on my pathetic math skill guess of the figures. the actual year estimates until heat death i can find all have numbers so large they aren't even written out normally, they're written using scientific notation. a few have said numbers listed like "1.7×10^106yrs (if protons decay)". that is a truly unfathomable amount of time.

yet the Facts And Logic, "why is human thought so irrational?" species is so worked up over this far future event (that is not an immediate threat in any way, shape, or form) that they use their irrational paranoia over it to justify murdering children and causing them to turn into the literal personifications of their own personal misery. "for the greater good" and "the ends justify the means" don't apply when the argument is this backwards.

even if you want to headcanon that maybe entropy was approaching at some point, and they had to beat it back before, which is why they're so worried — it's implied in canon that the present day pmmmverse is in no immediate danger. besides the fact that they'd likely be issuing contracts to literally anyone and everyone if that were the case, all that is said is that madoka witching out caps their necessary quota or something, so they don't need to worry about it for now. this sort of implies that it's not a current crisis, or else why would they stop the second they met this "cap"? why not continue elsewhere to get extra energy?

if incubators are immortal and are concerned for that reason, they have a literal infinite time to figure out a better or more convenient solution. current human theory already has questioned whether things like creating other/new universes intentionally is possible (and seeing that ours exist, "creating universes" is clearly possible Somehow). why not try to contact (adult) humans and exchange information or theories? sure, incubators are supposed to be highly intelligent and almost see humans as cattle, but they've been outsmarted by even human Children before in canon (madoka's wish being the prime example, and that was something thought out by a middle schooler). logic can only go so far, and this is said by someone who, irl, tends to look and act like the -_- emoji when not masking. humans could toss "dumb/silly" ideas at the wall, and incubators could use their advanced technologies and experience to see if they would work. perhaps a solution to escaping the universe/preventing heat death/etc could be found via cooperation, as opposed to "we must murder children because we are scared of something that will happen a zillion years from today, it's not our fault 🥺". many a human idea has been born simply out of "i wonder if this will work?" as opposed to only sticking to logical steps or only doing one thing forever, because you know that One thing For Sure works. even if it's tedious/more trouble than it's worth for the outcome. but incubators do not know or try this, because due to canon implications, it seems their MO has always been "lets murder the populace for miniscule amounts of energy" (as seen by the alien magical girl in one of the games) instead of "maybe we should try to find a solution together".