#ide x matsuda

[matsuxide]

Can we just take a moment to admire Matsuda grabbing a BITTEN apple from Ryuk?

anime:

manga:

Matsuda, I've got one question for you: YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE IMMORTAL OR SOMETHING?

In the russian dub after he took away an apple he literally told Ryuk to be quiet [not like shut up but almost shut up] :D LMAO I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY ADDED THIS BUT IT'S FREAKING HILARIOUS. it's so sad that I can only add one video here.

..also just my way to say thank you bc i still don't know how to use tumbr day 372773727

ppl here make me feel like matsuide has a hope <3

Also Ryuk doesn't seem offended, considering Matsuda is alive 😍

Just look at Ide.. He seems to be the only one who noticed this HAHSGSHAHA

*now it's correct.

[nebulamist]

1, 13 and 16 for the fandom ask game? :3

Okay! Thank you for the ask! <3

[Ask Game]

1. OTP?

Hmmm… This is a tough one.

I suppose, if I had to choose right now, it would be MatsuIde. I’ve read some really good fanfic of them, and I could totally see it as a post-canon thing.

My answer may change as soon as tomorrow, but this is it for now.

13. What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day?

I haven’t written anything for Naomi, or the ship Naomi x Halle, and that’s a shame because I’d like to. Naomi deserved better and I’d like to give it to her someday.

Btw, look at this lovely fanart of them!

16. Do people irl know you participate in fandom?

Only my little sister. 😅

[dicenote]

For some reason, Matsuda x Ide x Aizawa (or any pairing between the three) happening during the Near arc has the potential to be so angsty that it wraps right around into being just a little funny.

Like. You've been working on catching a killer for years now. You've watched coworkers, friends, die to this case. You find yourself wondering if what you're doing is right, or if one of the people by your side is the man you're after. You and your team practically isolate yourselves from the outside world, working night and day to find this killer. You can't trust people enough to give them your name. Time stands still. You wonder if (when?) you're going to just drop dead from a heart attack. You've been wondering this for years now. Is it weird to feel so numb about that thought? Nothing you do is even remotely helpful. You know this. You might have been told this to your face. In this battle that you've risked your life for, you are, and always have been, completely and utterly useless. So what do you do?

Hook up with your coworkers, apparently

Also, Mogi's there.

[lawlietscaramels]

REBIRTH

closed, writing answers

We hit 50 followers. A! Thank you all!!

I picked the title because, well, I'm killing canon to bring it a new life

As promised, here is our event: an ask game where I give canon characters some depth. I'll use the hashtag #death note reborn if you want to look through them all once I've written some! :D

So, pick a character and one of the letters from the list below! I'll run this for about a month? I've never done a writing event before but that seems reasonable :)

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

╾PICK A CHARACTER

Anyone goes except Takada, the members of Near's or Mello's team (Matt is fine), Rem, Ryuk, BB, Ide, Mogi and Ukita. i. do not know them enough.

I'll have the most stuff for L, Light, Misa, Matsuda, Matt, Mello, and Near, but anyone not mentioned above is good to ask for!

you can also ask about my OC Rie :>

╾PICK ONE

A: all my thoughts (everything I think about the character, a mix of the below) | L, Aizawa

B: background rewritten (a version of their past with more and/or different details) | Mello

C: change (how do they change, how have they changed, how do they want to change?) | L

D: darkest secrets (what they keep hidden and why) | Soichiro

E: existential crisis (what about existence scares them?) | Matsuda

F: failure (who/what they're afraid of failing)

G: games (do they play card, board or mind games? are they any good?)

H: headcanon list (my top headcanons) | Mello

I: in-depth psychoanalysis (what it sounds like)

J: job (a different career for them)

K: knight in shining armour (what's their role in the mediaeval au, how their character is different) | Mello

L: lei's death note (my headcanons, but those that are present in my au and go against or contradict canon facts)

M: motivation (what's their motivation? what drives them as a person?)

N: number (I list 1 to 10 and something after each; see Matsu's for examples) | Matsuda

O: older (if they lived for another 20 years, what would they be like?) | Mello

P: personality rewritten (turning them from 2D plot devices to 3D characters with emotions + feelings)

Q: question (ask me a specific question)

R: regrets (what do they regret the most about their choices, would they make different ones?) | Light

S: sexuality and gender headcanons (what. what it sounds like.) | L, Light, Mello

T: terrified (what they're afraid of) | L

U: uncertainty (do they ever doubt themselves or their actions? when? why?)

V: versus (I draw them as close to canon as possible, vs. in my style with my headcanons) | Light

W: worldly desires (what do they want in life that's a bit shallow?) | Matt, L

X: x-ray (what goes through their mind?) | Light

Y: you need a diagnosis (what I'd diagnose them with)

Z: zen (what calms them down + makes them happy) | Mello, L

That's it! Send an ask with a character and a letter! Thank you again for all the love and support, my dear followers 💖

[enchanted-lightning-aes]

OC in Three 

thanks to @rexxles​ (x) for teh tag! i’m doing this for fabrizio (fab) matsuda, a fandom OC who i miss very much! an aroace fashion icon and fashion designer, who’s known to be chill yet theatrical. you’d be shookth he gets along with the most down-to-earth peeps, sksksk.

[ID: a collage consisting of a quiche lorraine, a red-pink lantern with japanese calligraphy, and a colorful row of threads forming a heart / finish ID]

Sources: x, x, and x.

Tagging, no pressure tho: @365runesoftheamalgamations​, @idreamonpaper​, @oh-no-another-idea​, @ls-daydreams​, and open tag.^^

also you can interact with this post, if you’d like to be a part of my tag game list.^^

[findroleplay]

hello! im a 22nb looking for a (18+) rp partner! looking for someone who writes lit/semi-lit (i dont have a preference for exact reply length, i just prefer a 3-5 sentence minimum). i tend to prefer writing all-lowercase for myself (i use apostrophes when rping, my ooc writing style is very different from my rp style), but i am more than willing to use proper capitalisation for accessibility reasons/partners preference.

i am open to smut, but id prefer to build a story/dynamic around our characters first. angst, fluff, and hurt/comfort are also very welcome. i am open for cc x cc, oc x cc, and oc x oc, and i am open to any sort of pairing (m x m, f x f, m x f, etc.). i am willing to double up, and i prefer to rp in discord servers for organisation (i can make the server myself).

here are my fandoms/pairing preferences:

- chainsaw man: LOOKING FOR AN AKI!! specifically akiangel or aki x (nb)oc rps. i can play angel, galgali, and can also play aki for doubling up reasons/if you would prefer to play angel. HEAVY NOTE: I HAVE NOT GOTTEN TO PART TWO!!! i am reading the manga + ive watched the anime, just havent gotten to pt2 yet.

- death note: no particular preference for ships, open for anything, i just like writing for death note. i have death note ocs (m + f), and can write for light, misa, matsuda, or matt.

- pokemon: LOOKING FOR A GUZMA!! i am seeking guzma x (m) oc here. i can write for guzma (doubling up reasons) and kukui, but this list may grow since im playing several games at once. i am also open to pokemon-based aus for other sources!

- i am also open to original fiction oc x oc! as long as you have a description of your oc, that is ok. art/picrew/faceclaim would be nice, but is not required. i have m, f, and nb ocs.

i have a few plot ideas that i would prefer to discuss with whoever wants to rp, since the ideas are Very wordy and i dont know if tumblr asks have a character limit. again, i prefer to rp in discord servers for organisational purposes, and i can make the server myself (partner would also get admin roles to edit the server).

if youre interested just interact with this post and i will reach out!!

-

[dirt-apple-productions]

for the ask game, let's switch things a bit up: Soichiro, Matsuda, Aizawa and Mogi

Soichiro Yagami

My opinion on this character: Man, poor dude. He was such a good person and all he got for it was pain.

OTP: Soichiro x Sachiko! I actually made something cute for them as an outline for Judas.

Platonic OTP: Soichiro x Matsuda. He’s such a good, patient mentor to poor Matsu!

Unpopular opinion: Soichiro was a good man who did his best. Stop with the “Soichiro Yagami’s A+ Parenting” tropes! It takes responsibility off Light’s shoulders and blames Soichiro for something he gave his life to stop, which I find honestly really shafts him a lot.

Something I wish was canon: Soichiro learning the truth right as he died of a broken heart. It would be so poignant. But I like the canon death, it doesn’t bother me.

Touta Matsuda

My opinion of this character: Sweetie pie deserved better. What a precious optimist who did his very best. Amazing character arc.

OTP: Matsuda x Sayu. (And for those people who’re inevitably going to beat me up verbally over this, she’s 19 when he expresses affection for her and there’s no indication he had a relationship with her when she was a minor. You can debate if it’s healthy, but given that Matsuda by then was a close family friend, I frankly have no issue with it.) I also like Matsuda x Misa, but not as much as L x Misa. L challenges Misa as a person more than Matsuda does (sorry, Matsu).

Platonic OTP: Matsuda and Soichiro!

An unpopular opinion: Matsuda is not stupid. He’s very earnest and even smart, and quick-thinking as well. I think the reason everyone was so annoyed with him was that they were very high-strung in general given what they were dealing with.

Something I wish was canon: Matsuda becoming Sayu’s boyfriend after the show. He’s so much older than her, but I think they could bond and find solace in the wake of Light’s death.

Shuichi Aizawa

My opinion on this character: He reminds me of Simon Peter. He’s the temperamental one who struggles with trust issues, and he’s the only member who’s married aside from Soichiro himself. I really like how L fired him so he could go be with his family, even if he was a jerk about it.

OTP: As he’s married, Aizawa x Eriko.

Platonic OTP: Aizawa and Ide!

Unpopular opinion: L did the right thing, even if it came off the wrong way to Aizawa. L struggles with loneliness and so he was pushing Aizawa away so he wouldn’t be forced to let him go later. That’s how I’ve always seen it. Oh, and he looks like Kramer from Seinfeld.

Something I wish was canon: More of his delightful baby! Please!

Kanzo Mogi

Opinion of this character: ultimate malewife. You go girl.

OTP: I actually see this guy as entirely aro-ace!

Platonic OTP: Soichiro, Matsuda, and Mogi as the tag trio.

Unpopular opinion: His lack of dialogue gives him more personality than a bunch of dialogue would have.

Something I wish was canon: Mogi being a nanny. What is this man doing as a detective?!

[milaham]

Can we see some cute Ide x Matsuda? (I know its a weird ship 😅)

Sorry for taking for so long but here's your Ide x Matsuda! Hope they're cute enough ♡

[boniae]

The answer is yes, Ide. This is Matsuda you’re dealing with. LOL. 

Sooo this one was kinda spurred because I recently found a draft for a oneshot fanfic I was writing in 2018 about the aftermath of the Kira case, and Matsuda struggling to find closure. All the detectives were given some personal time off and basically Ide brings expensive wine over to Matsuda's place to cheer him up. I think I wanted it to be slightly romantic but I ended up hitting a wall somewhere lol. The fic itself is pretty sad but I STILL RLLY WANNA FINISH IT hopefully someday.

[captainhysunstuff]

Can pwease see Ide Hideki getting belly rubs from Matsuda Touta 🥺👉👈

Henh, needed an excuse for this concept.  Ide just has a very bad stomachache.

[lawtistic]

edited based on reblogs ive seen

I'm always seeing others complain about how their fandom used to be amazing and how bad it is now, and all I can do is flex how the death note fandom has grown to be an actually decent fandom since it's peak of fandom garbage around 2017 (but its was always bad before that point)

also you guys are old /j

in 2006-2018: -L never died, he actually ran away to marry everyone's OC's!! uwu L never did anything wrong L is just sweet innocent cinnamon roll!! >o< -WARS were waged over mello x matt and mello x near and i will continue to fear shipping either in case i get a knife hurled at me -screw misa and near, they both suck! hate pages and slander CONSTANTLY, and if you stated you like one or both of them aloud you should fear for your life -task force? who? -if you don't like MY headcanon, you SUCK! i'll leave hate comments on your posts on a daily basis. - takada and mikami are HORRIBLE people! ignore the fact they're also written to be morally gray, they suck.

in 2022: - L and light and morally gray characters with morally gray actions, they have made bad decisions in their lives and it's honestly not a hate crime to like one or the other - mello x matt and mello x near shippers are free from their shackles at last, there's mostly mutual respect between these two shippers, bonus points if you ship them as a poly relationship - you're allowed to like misa and near, you're also allowed to not like them. i love misa and near stans, they're awesome people to talk to and be around - a good majority of the fandom ships lawlight, including myself because red flag x red flag is always good for drama - matsuda stans !! soichiro lovers !! there's less aizawa and mogi stans, and ukita and ide fanbases are still as dry as tumbleweeds on fire, but at least they exist in the fandom's eyes at all - you're allowed to have opinions now! yay! that's something i've never seen in any other fandom this year - takada and especially mikami are now recognized as actual characters who have made not so great decisions, but they have actions and inner monologue that reflects who they are as people, you're also allowed to like them.

[matsuxide]

Headcanons related to board games cuz why not :D (Matsuda x Ide)

(Mostly about Matsuda and Ide but Mogi and Aizawa are also mentioned. Yay, I'm back and I feel like posting. !!SLIGHT N SFW in the end, just skip it if you don't wanna read this <3)

I think Matsuda likes board games because he often played them with his family as a child. At the same time, Ide is not very familiar with them, but he quickly gets the rules and concept of the games.

Matsuda is not good at them but likes playing a lot, no matter how much he loses or wins. Ide beats him a lot but he would try to put it down to beginner's luck. Although he does make comments about Matsuda's impulsivity. Ide would also probably say something like, "Alright, now I know that I'll never let you gamble." after Matsu begged him to keep playing just to win at least once.

Noticing that Matsuda is trying very hard to win, Ide gives up to him in the next rounds. Sometimes he just doesn't draw a +4 uno card on purpose when Matsuda gives him one (so Matsu won't have to pick up 8 cards).  He just takes these cards with no comment and successfully attempts to give Matsuda a chance to win.

On one of the holidays, when the Japanese Task Force decides to get together, Matsu will bring games with him. It will be very difficult for him to convince others to play, but he will manage to. I'm sure Aizawa and Mogi will notice that Ide is doing everything he can to help Matsu win. For instance, he probably tried to whisper a hint for him while they played Scrabble; Ide's vocabulary is very large, which is not surprising since he reads a lot.

Aizawa would probably say that this is cheating, and Mogi quietly chuckled at how Aizawa's sense of justice awakens even during these simple games. Ide will stop helping Matsu instantly, with reluctance.

But in card games, Hideki attempts to do everything to prevent Matsuda from losing. He will keep cards that could make Matsuda's chance to win pretty low. Aizawa would definitely notice this. 

I also believe that Mogi is quite good at card games. I made that conclusion because, well, we've seen him playing card games with Misa, and it seemed to me like he was interested in that!

If Matsuda offers to play Twister with them ugh.. Aizawa and Ide will start complaining about back and neck pain a lot, and they will name 100 reasons not to play it. These two will simply attack Matsuda with these non-stopable complaints.

When they're done, Aizawa and Mogi will chuckle and whisper on the balcony (on the sly from this couple) about how Ide gives up to Matsuda and makes his best efforts to help the younger one win even when they've agreed not to cheat anymore. This is the only time Ide can break discipline. Matsu will overhear this conversation. I think if he asks Ide about this, he will deny his involvement in trying to help him win in card games by keeping ace cards/some powerful uno cards.

Just a bonus-.. (as I said you can skip it!)

If Ide and Matsuda were in a playful mood, the second one would suggest playing strip cards. But soon they both understand that there is no point in this, because if Ide plays honestly, Matsuda will be naked in two rounds. They give up on this idea, and Ide undresses Matsu without wasting his time.

And here, realization finally hits Matsuda. He is now absolutely sure that his boyfriend was losing to him on purpose. He's not sure whether he is offended by this or touched. But, of course, he finds this adorable.

 

Perhaps if Matsuda manages to win against Ide once during the strip cards, the older one will simply take the watches off his wrist. And Matsuda, who is left in just underwear, threw the cards on the floor out of anger & frustration, saying something like: "You should have taken off some of your clothes! Any other items DO NOT count!". But Ide will shrug and say that they did not discuss this when they've settled the rules.

Thanks for reading this 𖹭

[theheartofthekoko]

- And so, the woman dies. The woman dies so the man can be sad about it. The woman dies so the man can suffer. She dies to give him a destiny. Dies so he can fall to the dark side. Dies so he can lament her death. As he stands there, brimming with grief, brimming with life, the woman lies there in silence. The woman dies for him. We watch it happen. We read about it happening. We come to know it well. - The Woman Dies, Aoko Matsuda, insp (x)

[id: five gifs from “The Untamed”, each with a block of color with text within it beside it. first, Yu Ziyuan crying, with the text, “She dies to provide a plot twist.” second, Wen Qing smiling and Wen Ning on the steps of Koi Tower, with the text, “She dies to develop the narrative.” third, Wang Lingjiao sinking to the floor, with the text, “She dies for cathartic effect.” fourth, Jiang Yanli running in her mourning robes, with the text, “She dies because no one could think of what else to do with her.” fifth, Qin Su looking to the side after Jin Guangyao froze her, with the text, “Dies because her death was the very best idea that anyone could come up with.” Beneath these are three gradients of color with the following text overlaid: “ ‘I’ve got it! Let’s kill her off’ / ‘Yes! Her death will solve everything!’ / ‘Okay! Let’s hit the pub!’ “ /end id]

[dicenote]

touta matsuda

discuss

omg YES ty! This is gonna be a long, disorganized ramble, so bear with me!

Touta Matsuda. My blorbo, skrunky scrimblo, love of my life, etc.

There are so many things about Matsuda's character that I could talk about. His impulsivity, his loyalty, his uncertainty... All of it makes a very real and very interesting character. And I think that a lot of his traits shine in one of the most horrifying scenes from his perspective: the Yellow Box Warehouse.

Like, let's take a step back and look at the numbers here. On one side of the warehouse, we've got a guy claiming to be L, and the three members of the old Kira Task Force that he brought with him. On the other side, we've got a different guy claiming to be L and three members of the SPK that he brought with him (oh. and the guy from the Task Force that got kidnapped in the mix). Outside, Kira's accomplice is lying in wait. So we've got ten people in all who are ready for the final showdown. The reveal. The evidence that will finally end this years-long nightmare and point to the true identity of Kira.

And of those 10 people, only one of them doesn't have a clue who Kira really is.

Light is Kira. Mikami is X-Kira and finds out who Kira is as soon as he looks in the room. Near and the SPK are all on the same page. Mogi and Aizawa know. Ide's a bit more on the fence but he wasn't completely in the dark. So Matsuda is the only one who goes in totally blind.

If anyone were to re-write Death Note purely from Matsuda's perspective, the Warehouse scene would go from tense to horrifying. To (nearly) everyone else there, this confrontation isn’t meant to reveal an unexpected truth, it’s to confirm something that they already know. But for Matsuda? Near's request to meet at the warehouse is, at worst, a tactic to once again frame Light. Because Light obviously can't be Kira, right? Light will show Near that he's wrong, and the investigation will continue as normal until the real Kira is caught.

But then Near presents that irrefutable evidence, and everything that Matsuda knew for over five years comes crumbling down. Light starts monologuing about how the world had to be fixed and how no one could ever make it as far as he did. Kira and Light are one and the same. Matsuda always thought that Kira was a well-intentioned person who was helping change the world. Ide and Aizawa and Mogi believed that Kira was evil, they were much stronger in their resolve than Matsuda ever could be. But Light had confessed to him once that he too questioned if what they were doing was right. If Kira was doing right.

Light has always been Kira.

And then comes the absolutely tasty part where Matsuda shoots Light. I love how chapter 106 is called "Intent to Kill", because it reminds me of how Matsuda and Light are foils to each other. Better yet, they can be compared against a man they both held such deep respect for, Soichiro Yagami.

See, Soichiro threatens to kill people a good couple times, and even holds a gun to his son's face, but he never has any intent to kill. In fact, he's never killed anyone, as (I think) Mello points out. It's almost kind of silly. Like, Soichiro draws the line at firing bullets or writing full names in the Death Note, and that's it? Everything else is fair game? Weird line to draw, but go off I guess.

Light, meanwhile, justifies killing thousands. But only with the Death Note. With the Death Note, his intent to kill becomes a righteous one, another step on the path to becoming God of a New World. The criminals deserved to die. Those who get in Kira's way deserve to die. Because Light isn't a serial killer. He's doing the right thing! Crime is going down, war has stopped, and Light is the only one who could have possibly gone this far and done this much good.

And then we're back to Matsuda. I believe the mafia raid is the first time we see Matsuda using a gun, and we see that he's damn good at it. So good, in fact, that he's able to fire only non-lethal shots to get the Death Note back. (Also, fun tidbit: I'm pretty sure he's the only one who doesn't go into the raid with a rifle, he's just got like, a standard-issue cop pistol with a light on it.) The same thing happens in the warehouse, at least initially. He fires at Light's hand to get him to stop writing. Then he and Light yell at each other for a little bit about (who else?) Soichiro. Light demands that Matsuda shoot the others, because he's the only one who understands Kira. When Matsuda hesitates, Light resumes writing Near's name. Then Matsuda fires again and again and again. Anything to make Light stop. Anything to make it all stop. But it becomes obvious that he's not just shooting Light as a deterrent. What does Matsuda say as he's doing it?

"He needs to die!"

The others literally have to drag Matsuda away before he can execute Light on the spot.

Matsuda is a character full of contradictions. He dedicates over half a decade to fighting Kira, but he doubts the whole time. He tries to follow in Soichiro's footsteps but in the end makes the same justification that Light did when he first started writing in the Death Note. This man is a criminal. He deserves to die. The Yellow Box Warehouse not only exposed Light's true colors, but Matsuda's as well.

[fafnir-the-golden-dragon-blog]

It the bois™

[multifandoms27-blog]

Kodoku [こどく] | Angst | L x Fem!Reader

Told y’all I’d do it.

こどく (Ko-do-ku) — loneliness; isolation

~*~*~*

Content: So, this isn’t REALLY an L x reader…you’ll figure it out once you start reading :(

Warnings: Suicide, major character death, murder, mentions of murder, heavy depression themes, abandoned child

Notes: This probably wont be the only thing I’ll write to this song, so stay tuned. Kasumi belongs to a friend of mine, whereas Cade and Miriam belong to me.

~*~*~*

(Y/n) glared Light down as Matsuda had shot him. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest — it was finally over. Everything her husband and sons and herself had worked towards, was about to finally come to an end.

Aizawa and Ide moved to stop Matsuda from killing him, but (Y/n) just continued to glare Light down. For so long her husband had his suspicions, ones that (Y/n) shared. But before now, they never had any proof.

Behind them, Mikami panicked and thrust his pen into his stomach, blood spurting out. She didn’t bother to look at the ‘X-Kira.’

“Gevanni, Rester.” (Y/n) called out to the men, almost boredly.

“Right!”

“On it!”

The two men rushed to stop Mikami, as well as Aizawa and Ide, but everyone knew he was a goner.

“Mother?” Near looked up.

“Hand me the notebook.” (Y/n) held her hand out expectantly, not looking away from Light.

Near nodded and handed her the note and a pen. Light used the distraction to get up and stumble, almost drunkenly, out of the warehouse. Matsuda yelled out for him, but once he was out of sight, (Y/n) gave chase.

She didn’t know what Near would do to hold the others back, or if they’d even obey his orders. But all she knew was she was going to get her revenge for her husband and two sons.

Light heard the second pair of footsteps behind him and looked, then screamed out at the sight of (Y/n). He didn’t try to negotiate like usual, she figured it was because he wanted to save energy in case he somehow survived.

Light led her to an abandoned warehouse, he clearly had no idea where he was going.

“Light Yagami.” (Y/n) spoke with a definitive voice.

Light, panicked, looked behind him.

“I once believed we were friends. Or, partially.” She took a step towards him, making him take one back. “But then you took my husband, my sons, and so many other people.”

B flashed in her mind. Kasumi flashed in her mind. Takada, too. Soichiro, even if not directly. She narrowed her eyes even more.

“You’ve ripped everything to shreds. You’ve created chaos, not order. You are no God. You never will be.”

“S-So what’re you going to do?! Kill me?!” Light pants, screaming.

“Maybe. If this notebook is truly the real deal.” She opens it, then looks back at Light. “What do you think of that, Light? This is my perfect victory.”

She wrote his name down in the note, and Light’s eyes widened in realization. She had heard him, at L’s funeral. He could feel his left arm growing numb.

“Thats right,” (Y/n) moved to stand over him, her hair framing her face, the light streaming in from the sunset making her look even more terrifying to the young man.

And with a voice that, to Light, sounded like it had L’s in sync with hers, spoke to him.

“I win.”

Light then could no longer speak. His chest felt tight, like he couldn’t breathe, and it burned. It burned a lot. Tears welled up in his eyes as (Y/n) continued to glare at him. He could’ve sworn that L, Mello and Matt surrounded the (hair color) woman, looking down at him.

(Y/n) watched Light Yagami die slowly. As he was still dying, she sighed and sat next to him on the stairs, bringing her knees up to her chest. She could hear Light’s labored breathing. Her own tears welled up in her eyes.

(Y/n) and Light both went through memories of the task force together four years ago, but each for their respective reasons. Light, because he didn’t know what he did wrong, and maybe felt a twinge of guilt. But a little bit of guilt didn’t stop him in the past. For (Y/n), it was the nostalgia.

When she finally looked back at Light Yagami, he was still, his eyes glazed over and body stiff, just as her husband had been when he died in her arms. Clenching her eyes shut to keep from crying, she rested her chin on her knees.

“Did you see that, L…? Mello, Matt…?” She sobbed into her knees. “We won. We finally…fucking won…”

(Y/n), now feeling more alone than ever, sobbed harshly. Yes, the case was done. She’d gotten her revenge. But now she felt strangely…empty. She wont be able to share the fruits of her victory with those she lost.

She didn’t know how long she sobbed and cried out for, but it was night by the time Aizawa had put a hand on her shoulder and told her it was time to leave.

“Will you be alright, (Y/n)-chan?” Matsuda asked softly, watching the paramedics take Light’s body away.

“…maybe one day.” (Y/n) followed Matsuda’s line of sight.

Matsuda and (Y/n) shared a long hug and many crying sessions that night. Even with Matsuda, Near, Rester, Gevanni, Linder, Ide, Aizawa and Mogi, she felt alone.

When she crawled into bed that night, it was like she had lost L all over again. The pain jabbed and tore through her heart like a knife— no, a sword. It was so painful, and (Y/n) wondered for a moment if thats what Light had felt before dying.

~*~*~*

In the days following the solving of the Kira case; Misa Amane had killed herself, Mogi transferred to work in the United States, while Aizawa, Ide and Matsuda stayed as policemen in Japan. Near and (Y/n) went back to Wammy’s house in England, where they held Mello’s and Matt’s funerals. Rester, Gevanni and Linder stayed in the United States to help Mogi.

They had been buried next to L. It was a rough day for everyone.

(Y/n) now leaned against the doorframe of Matt and Mello’s old room. It was left exactly how it was before they ran away. Furniture gathering layers of dust, old consoles and games Matt was unable to take with him were left behind, the TV needed a good dusting, and the curtains hadn’t been opened in forever.

Above the nightstand, which was situated between their beds, (Y/n) saw an old photo of all of them together as a family. L in his weird sitting position with Near and his favorite Iron Man toy in his lap, (Y/n) standing next to him while Mello and Matt stand in front of her. They all seemed really happy.

She was supposed to go through their initial stuff and decide what to do with it. Roger would have done it himself, but he “wouldn’t want to intrude, ma’am.”

She started with their nightstand. That would be the least painful, right? Their dressers were still hastily open, some old clothing hanging over the edges. (Y/n) pulled one of the drawers out. A lot of it was papers filled with studies, mainly Mello’s more than Matt’s.

(Y/n) chuckled. “I forgot that Matt was only studying hard until becoming L’s successor was optional…”

She couldn’t remember how many times she’d come into the room to tell Matt to turn his games off, and that it was late. Oh, what she wouldn’t give to do that one last time.

Feeling the tears prick her eyes again, she continued. The first drawer held nothing but scraps of paper that will never be used again. The second drawer however, was filled with drawings Matt and Mello did when they were kids.

Picking up the first one carefully, (Y/n) smiled softly at the image. It was, from left to right; L, (Y/n), Mello, Matt and Near. Everyone was labelled.

That was it. Drawings upon drawings of the family, when Matt and Mello were kids. (Y/n) kept a hand to her mouth as she sobbed.

“Mom…?” Near spoke softly. “Roger said you’d be in here…”

“Oh, Near, honey…” She sniffled and rubbed the tears from her eyes.

Near wordlessly moved forward and hugged her. He had been hurting, too, he just didn’t know how to show it. He let his mom sob into his little frame, making him want to cry. But, he held himself back and didn’t.

“I came to get you because we have someone new today…” Near whispered. “He’s outside with his mom. She wants to speak with you directly.”

(Y/n) sniffled and nodded, pulling away. “Okay, um…”

Near stands with her, keeping a hand comfortingly on her back, looking at her with concern.

“Thank you, Near. C’mon, let’s go see what’s happening outside.” She threw on a smile, one that Near didn’t like, but he followed her anyway.

Outside, a woman was waiting with a small boy. The woman was crouched at her sons height, talking to him. (Y/n) remembered when that was her with her own sons.

“Hello, you said you wanted to speak with me directly, yes?”

The woman looked up, then stood. “Yes. I’m Miriam, pleased to meet you.”

“And what brings you by today?” (Y/n) threw Miriam and the boy a sweet smile, and was a bit taken aback at how much the boy looked like Mello.

“May we talk, mother to mother?”

(Y/n) nodded and shuffled away from Near and the boy with Miriam. The woman finally broke and began to cry.

“I can’t…I thought I could be like you, but I don’t know how you do it…”

“Ma’am, calm down. It’s going to be okay. Your son will be safe here.” (Y/n) wanted nothing more than to cry with her.

“No, I know. My um…boyfriend of sorts grew up here. He was actually um…” she sniffled. “one of your sons.”

(Y/n) was thrown back a little. She glanced at the boy, who was busy looking at Near’s robot toy.

“Mello…?”

“Mhm.” Miriam nodded. “We were in the same mafia group…listen, I know you don’t know me but Mello talked about you in such a good light…I can’t keep Cade in an environment like that…”

She looked back at Miriam at the mention of the boy’s name. She clenched her jaw and then nodded. “Yeah, yeah no problem. We’ll take him.”

Miriam smiles sadly. “Oh, oh thank you, (Y/n).”

She nods and glances at the ground, then looks back at Cade. Miriam takes that as a sign to hug the older woman, which she hesitantly returns. Cade turned to look at the two of them, the dirty blonde boy and the (hair color) woman making eye contact.

Cade was like his father. With one look, he understood everything. Even with Cade here, as a new child to raise with the others, everything still felt so empty. Nothing could bring her family back. Near and Cade were all she had left.

Although, when Cade was waving goodbye to Miriam, and then turned to (Y/n) with tears in his eyes, a look Near recognized, she realized she wasn’t the only one feeling alone. All three of them did, no matter the circumstances.

(Y/n) pulled both Cade and Near into a hug. Maybe, if nothing else, they could all be alone together.