#idc abt ur “no offense”
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How come ur black but wont write for black reader? No offense just asking
babes, when did I ever say that I'm black LMFAO???? I'm not. if you're talking about my picrews in the tag games, it's still VERY weird that you'd assume my RACE because of my skin color 💀
#chiyoh talks ☆#ᥫ᭡ msg! ᥫ᭡#▹ from ▹ anon#weirdo.#and plus i already explained why i wont write for race/skin specific readers#if you have the time to send me a stupid ass ask like this surely u have the time to go back n read my explanation#i dont even need to explain why i wont write for something#this is my blog and some of yall keep forgetting#idc abt ur “no offense”#when you clearly dont care about my boundaries#ik i said ill ignore asks abt this#but this just made me feel like i had to clarify im NOT black.#poc doesnt mean just black smh
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style shippers have to ruin everything
i swear style shippers have to ruin EVERYTHING and i feel like it's their fault why kyman hasn't become canon yet LOL. i feel like the reason why they haven't made kyman canon is bc they're worried abt all the backlash they would get from style shippers and the antis, and most of the kyman-anti flat earthers are style shippers LOL. i'm so sick of style shippers poking their nose into everything kyman related and whenever something kyman does happen they have to compare it to style and how they think style is soooo much better. like kyman is obviously the ship matt and trey like writing for more and actually has a chance at being canon, but the only reason they haven't been more direct abt it is bc then it'll turn into this whole drama and ship war in the fandom between styles and kymans to the point that it would overshadow south park itself and the fact that it's a COMEDY show and not a romantic soap opera. and we've talked abt before how kyman has a chance at happening bc it would add humor to the show. so like style shippers just need to lay off and let the story and characters unfold like they're supposed to bc matt and trey have been developing the characters in a way where cartman and kyle are getting closer and kyle is closer to cartman than stan. i've said this before but i rlly don't care for shipping that much, the only reason why i talk abt kyman as much as i do is bc of how much it makes sense for the show and how it has a lot of canon evidence to it and i love analyzing complex characters and their motives. i don't ship shit just for the heck of it. i don't even consider myself a shipper i'm more of a cartoon analyst and critic. and i'm not trying to shit on you if you ship style bc ik a lot of u do and ship BOTH style and kyman. what I have an issue with are the style shippers and flat earthers in the fandom who are delusional AF and act like style has more merit than kyman which is bs and makes no sense LOL. and usually their argument for why style is better and will actually happen is "ya'll are shipping a nazi and a jew!1!1" what so your argument is that kyman can't happen bc it's offensive? um you must have south park confused with another show then LOL bc matt & trey DON'T give a fuck abt if they do shit that's offensive or shocking. so whatever ship style all u want idc but what i DO have an issue with is people ignoring the facts and natural storytelling and character development elements of south park. like ship style do whatever floats ur boat but keep that shit in your imagination please and stop going after people who are just trying to analyze how the characters are in canon and point out the facts.
GET MY COURSE "WRITE LIKE A BEAST" HERE
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to julie (if i may call you that!):
having the same rising & moon means u likely have a strong or good grasp of who you are / how people view you; your moon is associated with the subconscious, your emotions, and similar topics! your rising is how you affect or interact with the world. often people will assume you’re your rising sign over your sun sign, sort of outer (public) vs inner (private) self.
gemini is ruled by mercury which means you’re likely a fucking yapper /lh. at least at first or publicly, you prob come off as chatty, maybe a bit of a gossip. no shame in keeping up to date, idc. invest in a diary or journal. or start recording your rants. have you ever spoken to yourself? esp w aquarius sun, I feel like you have. like genuinely spoken with yourself.. this is no offense bc i’m a gemini sun. i am no gemini hater! you would prob benefit from complex conversations & dissections of your emotions as opposed to the suppression of them. but it’s okay if you’re not ready for allat ^_^. a lot of good writers have gemini moons. half related but virginia woolf shares your sun & rising :) iirc. since you affect the world as a gemini you’re likely light & playful but aquarius sun makes you a little dreamy and deff eccentric. aquarius suns tend to be idealists. i don’t think you’d thrive off any set routine; your routine is likely haphazardly thought of five minutes before you enact it and then you change it several times throughout the day.. also you’re very mental based. having all air signs in ur big 3.. ur not NOT emotional, gemini moons can be rather emotional but you’re very mentally active, it’s very intense & maybe scattered. you’re probably actually very anxious & a bit of an overthinker esp with your emotions bc they’re not as easy to track or logic based. you may feel restless more often than others in day to day life. how do you feel about the color blue btw..? turquoise perhaps? just curious.. haha.
i do wonder what sign & house the planet mercury actually falls under in ur chart bc that can indicate a few things abt how you communicate!
erm and also any aspects to ur big 3 can change the energy significantly for better (trines <3) or worse (squares..) (it’s like pos & neg influence but to be real squares can offer good opportunities and trines can set u up for failure if ur too confident).
live laugh love - 🐠
FUCK IM SO LATE BAWLINF AMYWAY @julesssyy HI BAE
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Uhhh... that word isn't racist... I mean spook, it means to frighten or unnerve. I can't really tell if this is serious or not...
In English, the word spook is also not derived from the German language but the Dutch language and is the Dutch word for apparitation or ghost. In Germany, it's a slur, so I would avoid it there, but I live in the U.S., where it's not a slur and has an entirely different meaning.
Alright I just woke up and
Sighs
Spook has OFTEN been used against black people, a basic Google search abt the word can show u that. Spook is the Dutch word and as i said in my last post, waffe was added to mean weapon. U can change a word and it would still have racist connections, woah!!
It wasn't until *after* ww2 that the word started being used more outside of Europe, such as in literature or for toys
I don't need yt people[which considering how dismissive you are, you most likely are] telling a black person what words are and aren't offensive to them
Spook is a slur in SOME contexts, hence my post on why u should avoid it.
Spooky and spooked technically aren't slurs themselves, however they're still connected to it
Idc what people do, if I see them say it i'll block them and move on with my life, but people like you, anon, are so extremely frustrating to work with cuz you'd rather be able to say a derogatory term than admit that a word may just be bad
Generally, move on, if u can't handle.that a word is bad just block me and live ur best life. You should have done that from the beginning
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a few months ago i laughed my ass off at a rando article i found where ppl were like 'yeah. the b/org queen. a bisexual' bc that Is legitimately funny. Like, move over everybody, the collective belongs to the bi's, we won this one. And now stp has started again and some people Genuinely have had some opinions on her that say little beyond the fact that they're themselves kind of biphobic, it's annoying me that on principle i'm having to be like 'okay it's hilarious and possibly quite offensive as an entire potrayal but you are Actually consciously aware that strictly speaking that's showing bisexuality, right?' because while the situation is absurd the uh.... underlying inference isn't cute. And this was Funny and you're ruining it and i'd like you to stop so i can go back to laughing at the fact that starfleet has a training holo that exists to test how ppl will react if the queen tries to come onto them.
#that picard one#techinically#some of the comments have me eye narrowing at my screen is2g#and it's so ABSURD of a thing#like idc about the bqueen... it's funny tbh. at some point she assimilated a honeypot and she's been at it ever since#but sometimes u read a sentence and go 'wow okay the thought process that led u here was offensive'#basically idc abt what u think abt her but check ur own shit bc yikes
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seriously considering just making a "Mapleshade Confessions" where the whole blog is just posting confessions related solely to Mapleshade and her damn book. Nothing else.
there are so many takes on mv i think you should do it. it will definitely be a wild ride for sure lol
#if u do it i would love to follow#idc abt most takes but its fun watching ppl debate lol#also i must say running this sort of blog is fun#but sometimes you get rlly bad takes that are just so offensive#so watch out for tht if ur rlly doing it :p#confession#text#anonymous#mod talks#wc#warriors#warriorcats#warrior cats#mapleshade's vengeance
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if ur cis and u write/draw/engage with "cisswap"/"always been x gender" aus (ie repacked genderbending but making it worse bc youre acknowledging the controversy of genderbends but not actually listening to trans ppl who say that it is offensive—and further stating plainly that you don't see trans women & men as their genders or else you wouldn't fucking specify) pls block me. better yet—message me so i can block you. i hate you and your art sucks ♡
#i mean if its old idc but i just saw ''always been girls'' team free will art that was made last freaking month i wanna snap op's tablet pen#if ur not cis... dont send me messages abt how u dont think genderbends or ''cisswaps'' are offensive idc what u think ur experiences#are not universal#and this is NOT about trans headcanons those are amazing and beautiful and meaningful ♡
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hi I heard it's electro women loving hours 🧍♂️
for ur consideration; since it's canon Ei knows how to brew tea (somehow, without blowing everything up) imagine baker!reader making sweets and Ei making tea so they can have a picnic 🥺
inazuma is so pretty I wanna visit her favorite spots and braid flowers into her hair while she tells me about the culture of inazuma and how's its changed over the years. my little meow meow...... - eros
LKSDFJASLKFJAJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH no bc imagine her holding a teacup up to your lips, urging you to try her tea that she tried so hard on. She can't cook but she loves tea and worked so hard to get good at it, you'll try some of her tea won't you? L;KASDZJFASDF Ei loves being fed/feeding you it's so simple and sweet and the way you so easily open your mouth for her to feed you <3333333333 and when she lays her head on your lap for you to feed her your amazing sweets <33333333 there's nothing better.
AND AND!! One night, in tears after going through Ei's voice lines, took her to a bunch of Sakura trees near Inazuma city, and some near Yougou mountain. I tried my darndest to find the tree where Ei was with her friends because she said nobody had visited that tree in many years aND GODDAMNIT I WANTED SOMEBODY TO MAKE NEW MEMORIES UNDER THAT TREE SKFSJFKSJFFJFDNKGJSDHV-
no bc i'll never shut up about how amazing she'd be to hug and to plAY WITH HER HAIR SKFJASLFKJASF like- it's soft. oops sorry not sorry idc abt canon, her hair's soft and if you gently dig your nails into her scalp she'll melt into your hands. If somebody interrupted her cuddling with you she'll consider it a federal offense, immediate execution.
Raiden shogun is low-key pissed that Ei treats the law like a toy or exploit so Ei can't always commit cold-blooded murder for you 🙄
anyways i want to cuddle ei so bad she's so soft you don't understand-
#choco.asks#*~frequent customer#going absolutely feral over ei#please she's my love my life#she's the reason i can live laugh love in these conditions LKJDSFASDF#no i can't even articulate how amazing she'd be to hug and cuddle#LIKE HER CLOTHES??????#i want to steal them and wear them#pls she'd cry if you wore her clothes and you're sitting there not knowing how to put them on right#and she comes over to help you and you fall asleep in her clothes while cuddling with her#she never thought someone could love her - a shadow - this much#PLEASE HELP ME THIS WOMAN- LSAKDJFLSKCJALDKJF <333333
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no offense instead of waiting to get more lgbt friends that actually will try to understand others experiences and respect gender stuff, just make the cis people in ur life uncomfy with ur gender if u are safe, I deserve respect as a human being and honestly idc abt other cis people's obsession with trans people, I need MY cis people to respect me and if me telling them something abt me makes them mad, I am not gonna stand for it. You dont get to be angry at me for constantly bringing up my boundaries if you are the ones breaking them
#honestly i need people to stop hating on stuff we literally cant control and actually judge someone by their character#u just are stupid if youre constantly trying to hurt other ppl it makes no sense#u are just stupid if you think that YOU are more important than other ppl#this comes from a privileged place i am very sheltered and honestly have only had social interactions with family and a couple friends for#the last 5 years so i do know this#I MEAN IRL#mine
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about/rules for people on mobile
about me
alo im ghost you can also call me spec. im 21 & im an aerospace engineering major who currently works as a software system engineer 4 da gov't. if that somehow interests u for some reason. they/them pronouns
i am here living out my 13 yr old self’s dream of rping as my fantrolls. back then i did not have the artistic skill nor the confidence to do this. these are not, however, characters i made when i was 13. anyways, during quarantine, and maybe after that, i will be here. being some fictional fan-aliens.
i track #fantrollology
rules/info
i dont rp with minors & if you dont have your age somewhere on your blog i will not interact. u can follow tho idc but pls create a safe place for yourself
ALL my muses are 18+
if i use “your” instead of “youre” it is 100% ironic
if i miss your response pls just dm me it i will not take it as rude or annoying it is so impossible to upset me and i am very straightforward w people
that being said you want to cut a thread or feel like its not really vibing just let me know i will never take any offense just let me know
i dont do nsfw rp. im a fade to black kinda bitch. youre not gonna see any nsfw on this blog outside of like, innuendos and other dumb shit like that and ill tag it supa liberally
this is a judgement free and positivity only zone. i will not reblog, respond to, or discuss drama. i do not care abt it. i am js trying 2 chill
THAT being said if u post drama its possible ill just unfollow
this blog follows ASK MEME ETIQUETTE !!! that means i dont reblog an ask meme unless i send the person im reblogging from something from the ask meme. i have always believed in ask meme etiquette in my heart bones. and if you do it too? you’re wicked cool
i am uncomfortable with cannibalism & i dont like quack doctor tropes (ie mad scientist/botched surgery/abuse of a corpse). while your character can be these things and interact with mine (unless its like. forefront in their design i guess?), i do not want it brought up!! im not super sensitive i just dont like em as topics of conversation lol.
thanks ur a bro 4 readin dis <3 kiss me homie
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Don't rb mah am venting
[[MORE]]
for real when white ppl make white jokes amongst themselves and call each other cracker and shit I get genuine second hand embarrassment for them first and foremost but then get. Actualy fucking uncomfortable like
There's an absolute difference between like white ppl chiming in with jokes sometimes every so often like whatever idc but God. bu
when they do it repeatedly to the point why they're so clearly detaching themselves from their whiteness and therefore their privelege and accountability with things. Like it's not abt white jokes and those words being offensive but like It's the whole white people vs White People tm thing again like there's no fucking divide can you pleas sunderstand that's YOU. Stop separating yourselves from your race!! . That's YOU and you're part of the problem but they act so comfortably like oh I'm NOT and then 2 seconds later they do some weird thinly veiled racist shit and it's like. Oh fine. And haha well they wouldn't even think abt it bc they're not like the white people who are racist they just so happen to be a woke white person who makes fun of themselves like no king. No king shut up
Like I literally just don't want to talk to ppl who do that constantly to be absolute Frank becwuse I sure as fuck am not comfortable around ppl like that it just. I squirm so hard like jesus shut up you're so humiliating to listen to and on a more legitimate level I don't fuckn trust what ur gonna do given the right circumstances bc ur sure as fuck not grounded
[[MORE]]
#Egg.txt#Sometimes I'm like why don't I go into those spaces so much then I'm like ah yes I remember why#For real this shit just happens constantly in like. Predominantly white gay spaces and it's so exhausting#And I don't know I think part of it especially th t grates me is#Speaking of my own experiences as a mixed person lines in this sense get so blurry. Does that make fuckn sense but then like#The line was 50 metres back for that white person but they just going Apeshit anyways#Anyway rant over sigh#I'm trying not to get all bitter over shit it's just. Tonight. Ah yes
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baby, peach, darling, petal, baby girl, lover, bubba, my love, and dear :3c
baby - what makes you feel better when you’re down?
good music and also talking to you :D
peach - what’s your ideal aesthetic?
clear ocean water and sea life, as well as hazy cityscapes at dusk
darling - what romantic gesture makes you feel the most loved?
no offense but id love to be carried haha
petal - what’s your favourite smell or perfume?
i like eucalyptus ^_^
baby girl - how do you like to be held?
:dancer: idc if im big spoon or little spoon but i wanna be able to bury my face into ur neck
lover - how do you show someone you like them?
talk to them constantly abt literally whatever lol
bubba - tell me a funny story from your childhood.
one time when i was seven i ran face first into a glass table
my love - what would your dream home be like?
not too big and not too small, preferably near the ocean and maybe close to like a good downtown area
nd for dear
ugarpie - what’s your favourite sweet treat?
cheese cakes definitely ^_^
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okay i am Not Having A Good Time Right Now not BAD but just... weird not as in “weird” like how i say when im actually depressed this is a different weird it’s just incomprehensible and i feel very annoying to everyone especially on my stupid twitter so i shall be spewing garbage here so
okay so right now i feel like the world is horrible and like i could never be happy in it but im not depressed abt it im just numb so im not upset about how capitalism means there are people dying and everything is bad but i need u to know that i AM upset about it actually isnt it weird ?? i need to make sure that it is understood that these things upset me but like, not right now. is that just me being defensive because ive always felt like i need to justify feeling my feelings like i KNOW other people have it worse i KNOW im a privileged upper middle class chinese girl who has Had Everything okay i KNOW i just
i dont know
am literally rotting and being useless all the time at home because im not in school im literally doing nothing im doing nothing all day im doing nothing im useless im just on this earth consuming and using up my parent’s money and contributing to climate change by having my air conditioning on even though i know individuals aren’t to blame for the climate crisis it’s companies and billionaires who suck Major Ass!!! u see how i have to justify but then also justify?? i am simply like this with Everything it’s so exhausting and i kind of want to cry now
like i Know individuals aren’t to blame for the climate crisis. artists arent selfish for making art how could i think i that???? i DONT think that i wouldnt look at someone who has their air conditioning on all day and think badly of them, i wouldnt look at artists and think “ugh what a selfish piece of shit, how could they look at the state of the world and choose to make silly art when they could be a doctor or journalist or politician or ANYTHING that would Help People” BUT WHY DOES THAT NOT APPLY TO ME ???? WHY DO I STILL HAVE TO FEEEL LOUSY ABOUT IT ?? I FEEL SO STUPID im literally just ?? arguing with myself in my head but it ends up leading nowhere i just cant not feel terrible and guilty about everything i do
whatever. i dont know
okay but right so for the past 2 weeks that i was gone from tumblr because staff are PUSSIES who SNIPED me for NO REASON and then didnt reply to my emails i was mostly on twitter because i m useless n Do Nothing At All with my time so im on twitter because im lonely and crave interpersonal connections so i tried to make friends which i did ! i think i have had some success at least in making friends online . i think i can say that maybe perhaps for sure (maybe). but yes i have made some friends on twitter i think evie and maya and noga r great and i love them this is not th point sigh
okay im just going to explain the Nonsense Teenage Drama that went down and i will be (maybe) just namedropping cause none of them r even names anyway it doesnt matter actually
but i just need to feel like ??? im not insane and overreacting to this entire thing which like some ppl have confirmed !! and yet (??)
okay tw for suicide ed self harm n bullying cause i ended up ranting abt those things :(
SO. this Person C got into some. drama with M and J. this is all friendship related i think personally C is in the wrong and M and J have the right to be mad at them for it. BUT C was also very obviously suicidal in the “i am crying out for help and attention right now” kind of way . maybe i am just sympathetic because i have been that before idk. but drama unleashed, M and J publicly got into it with C. right so everyone witnesses this. including Person D. THIS PERSON. has TIME AND TIME AGAIN shown themsevles to be terrible terrible u know what idc im just gonna copy and paste screenshots idc idc idc AAAAAA im so djfdskmg idk
like ??? THIS WASNT IDK I DONT KNOW . i dnt know i dont know i AM over this but i had a panic attack over this and i was in a depressive episdode this was 3 days of hell and it didnt even involve me ??? the most i was involved w was like being personally offended because her friends called me a bitch or whatever but like ?? there r some of her friends who r friends w my friends and it makes me feel like idk :( like why do mar n mia hate me lol am i so terrible for thinking she should go get help for her ed isntead of telling ppl to slit their wrists n off themselves online lol idk idk idk yeah okay
like i feel like im overreacting , and taking personal offense to being called a bitch because i did end up calling her out in a very long series of tweets lol and like ?? someone would screenshot my tweets n she’d tweet abt them n say im obsessed n her friends would like her tweet and those ppl would be friends w my friends :( idk i feel like im just being a fool and over reacting idk sigh this is old news by now i am actually in fact Truly over this /gen but yea my cramps r bad today fuck periods we shld just reabsorb uterine linings like rats do why cant we be more like rats
/rant
my tweets for context idk i know no one will read this all but i feel the need to make myself clear because god knows fucking why idk idk idk
https://twitter.com/urlowbeams/status/1364932184629338122?s=20
https://twitter.com/urlowbeams/status/1364928910916378634?s=20
https://twitter.com/urlowbeams/status/1364729355448983552?s=20
and scroll down from there i guess
man i was rlly going thru it huh
idk ALSO she like ?? said “if ur ugly u should die i cant breathe the same air as u” in response to someone’s selfies like ?? idk man idk idkdikddnfjfdnsjgdj im going to sleep night night im not losing my mind i swear /gen
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I'm usually one of those poop heads who wouldn't go see an animated movie that looks like it was only made to showcase famous voice actors lol. But can I say that I love love love how much you love all the movies you see? That everyone complains are "mediocre". It makes me happy to see someone talk good about these movies (like Ferdinand) instead of all the groaning and complaints I hear everywhere else on the internet. KEEP ENJOYING UR MOVIES❤️
^ i’m ferdinand, the flowers are these “mediocre” movies dhfjdnhfgh
BUT RLY LMAO THANK YOU SO MUCH
BUT YEA I JUST, MY HEART IS FULL OF LOVE OK!! and to me a movie (or anything rly) doesn’t have to be ur new favourite thing ever that’ll change ur life, if it made me feel emotions, in ferdinand’s case for 1 hour 47 minutes, then i love it!!!!
#pixelpoff#god i am rambling BUT ANOTHER THING ofc ppl are allowed to not like things and think theyre mediocre or bad etc and not go see them etc#but yea idk im tryna be more positive.. i know i still have some way to go but ya i try....#I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY BUT LMAO THANK U SM IM GLAD TO HEAR THIS#ok i think im done for now dhsjdhfgfdj
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I’ve had a kind of weird week, so I’ve been thinking a lot abt self-care? So, when I first started hearing about self-care as an idea I had a lot of misconceptions and didn’t really know how to apply it and sometimes made things worse trying to make myself better? So I’m gonna write out some of the things that work for me now when I’m doing self-care and taking self-care time for myself.
For me, self-care is more about respecting and listening to my body and instincts than it is specific actions. Like, initially I just saw lists of like ‘take a bubble bath!’ ‘read a book!’ ‘eat a good meal!’ and that’s all good and well, but just Doing Pleasant Things is no good when I do them desperately and for the wrong reasons.
Self-care, for me, means reminding myself that I’m a finite being who’s allowed to have limitations. It means that when my body says ‘I am too tired to keep doing this’ I say ‘ok ur too tired to keep doing that’ instead of saying, like ‘ok but also u pulled all-nighters all the time 5 years ago ur not that old yet wtf’ or ‘other ppl are still working probably what is wrong with u?’ or ‘too bad ur prob making that up and anyway we gotta do the thing’ or ‘tough noogies have some coffee idc that u have a stomachache it’s only for a little while longer u can puke when this is done.’ Self-care doesn’t always mean that I go get a full 8 hours of sleep, but it does mean that I take my body’s needs seriously. It means I get to put my needs at least on par with whatever it is I’m trying to get done, instead of below it. It means thinking holistically and remembering that whatever task I’m doing, I’m doing it as a specific, embodied human with specific talents, abilities, strengths, weaknesses, interests, and limits.
Self-care means staying in tune with the rhythms of my life. It means knowing how my own REM cycle works and taking it into account when I decide when to go to bed and get up and whether to nap and how long and all of that. It means remembering that my life is more than a specific day and I need to live like I also want to be healthy 3 days from now and that if I push myself too hard and then collapse on the next free day I have, I’ll never actually enjoy myself. It means backing down when I have a headache and figuring out if I’ve forgotten to drink my usual amount of water or if I’ve missed my usual morning caffeine or if I’ve not slept long enough or spent too much time in front of a screen or missed out on social time and over-stressed myself or whatever else.
Self-care also means living with Future Me in mind. Future Me needs me not to push myself to collapse rn. Future Me will benefit if I do the 12% of this task I’m probably up to, even if Future Me thought I was going to get 50% of it done today. Both Present Me and Future Me will benefit from eating some vegetables. Even if ‘eating some vegetables’ means a sandwich on the go with lots of lettuce bc I still haven’t been to the store, Future Me will still appreciate the veggies. Future Me will not appreciate the way she feels if I refuse to sleep and make myself do tasks poorly, painfully, and ineffectively and eat nothing but cookies instead of taking the time to find better food. Even if doing all the work I imagined I should would mean leaving no work for Future Me to do, not doing all the work I imagined I should will mean Future Me is strong enough to handle the work I leave for her, instead of collapsing into mush. Future Me pretty much always turns out to appreciate that.
Self-care also means giving Future Me some credit. She’s stronger than I think she is, so while I can and should help her by doing what I can now to take things off her plate, sometimes just helping Future Me be strong enough to cope is good enough. Often just helping Future Me be strong enough to cope is good enough.
Self-care, for me, also means always having a set of possible standards I’m ok with. I think a lot about that Ron Swanson thing ‘don’t half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing’ and I think generally it’s pretty good advice, but also, sometimes u have 2 things and u have to do them. Sometimes u have 5 things and u have to say this is the one I care about enough to whole-ass and then I’ll half-ass these 2 and quarter-ass this one and worry about the mess in the kitchen some other day also u can pay money for ppl to bring food to ur house. Self-care means reminding myself that I literally can’t do everything all the way all the time and letting myself make new plans that respect that. It also means letting myself over-achieve on those goals a little bit, as long as I’m focusing on the stuff I care about. Self-care means not letting myself feel like I’m just getting dragged around by the world instead of making my own choices. Obviously, I still feel dragged around sometimes, but deciding to do a little when I can and that different standards for different tasks at different times is ok helps a lot.
Idk, this is pretty vague and not nearly as specific as ‘I felt crappy yesterday so I did some yoga and took a shower and wore comfy jeggings and worked from home instead of leaving my apartment’ but I could have done all of those things and still come out of it feeling crappy.
It worked because taking the time to feel my body and breathe deeply and reconnect with my physical being helped me trust my own instincts/self-knowledge after an emotionally tumultuous and mood-swingy week. It worked because telling myself that I was allowed to take a shower purely because I wanted one and not because it was the time on my how-to-not-be-offensively-greasy-around-others schedule was telling myself that the feeling of wanting a shower was real in the moment even though I usually hate having to shower, and that I was allowed to want that and allowed to give myself that. It worked because jeggings and a bra under my t-shirt make me feel like I’m dressed and give me that Dressed And Out Of Bed confidence/competence boost, but are not much less comfy than pjs. It worked because I got some work done instead of none, and because it took the pressure off. It worked because I had reframed doing 25% of the work I’d wanted to for the day as doing 25% more than if I had stayed too anxious to start any of it and frittered the day away feeling bad about myself and waiting to Magically Start something I wasn’t up to in that state of mind anyway.
So that’s a lot of rambling but anyway there it is. I ordered a pizza box tonight because I should have gone to the store more than a week ago and still haven’t, and I’m gonna eat it for at least 1 more meal before I go to the store and maybe 4 meals, idk yet. I’m sore from yesterday’s incredibly basic yoga video bc I haven’t done any in months and don’t really work out beyond walking places when I can get away with not driving. I’m not exactly the poster child for yoga-and-vegetables holistic living. But, like, when doing those things is part of Treating My Lived Experience As Valid I can do them without feeling guilty for all the times I didn’t and I can respect myself for making other choices at other moments like taking a nap and ordering pizza, which I’m actually still feeling super duper good about. I did slightly more than the minimum amount I wanted to get done and ended up meeting my middle goal for work this evening, and I’m super excited about those cinnamon bread sticks I’m gonna eat for breakfast tomorrow.
#personal#why is it so long why am I so rambly#my tumblr's been doing stupid and weird things with readmores so not doing one sorry y'all#feel free to scroll on/ignore but like...#idk I've been wanting to write it so I did
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Not to bring up tea again but like @ people who are "scared" by Leafe being a god then like just?? don't???look @ their content?? Like idc if ur religious or w/e and thats offensive to ya your religious beliefs shouldn't hinder how leafe expresses himself on his own personal blog when he is always in his own lane and never once has been out of line
truly like im so confused by this like idk if i’ve Never been out of line but i do try 2 stay in line and be on top of my behavior i don’t understand why ppl r being weird abt who i am as a person all of a sudden i don’t see what i’ve done wrong
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