#id say im sorry but genuinely i am not

[of-solitude-past-and-present]

YOUR WRITING>>>>>

I don't know how you came up with Naga Scaramouche but I've been brain rotting for days now 😩

Do you have any ideas how'd he'd react if someone goes out of their way to look for reader after they disappeared?

Especially if they mightve been a love interest at some point or the person clearly has feelings for them 👀

(referring to this)

A friend of mine actually came up with the idea for naga scara!! Together, we fleshed out the plot. It wasn't originally a fic, though, it was just a rp that got me brainrotting afterwards. I couldn't stop thinking about the whole concept until I finished writing Hidden in the Sands. The fic literally wouldn't leave me alone unless I was working on it LMAO

I'm going to take this as an excuse to talk a bit about the behind the scenes here (you have NO idea how much I've wanted to infodump about this fic)–originally, the reader was actually my friend's interpretation of Lumine and Sanad was originally my Alhaitham. I also played the part of Kuni himself. It was a bit awkward, actually, because Alhaitham and Kuni had to talk to each other a little bit and it felt like I was talking to myself.

I've changed the personalities of the reader and Sanad greatly, as you might have already guessed, since Sanad behaves nothing like Alhaitham; Sanad's more like one of those "prime examples" that Alhaitham talks about when he says, "Book learning alone is not enough to cultivate intelligence." Sanad is, intentionally, a very flawed but still reasonably likeable character. I want to talk about him too. Oh boy, looking back on this I sure did talk a lot about an OC I don't think anyone genuinely cares about.

I wanted to make him come off as normal, like an actual human person. He really is just a regular dude, he's just been kinda brainwashed by the Akademiya, as shown by the lines, "The Akademiya has declared them to be just baseless nonsense, so of course I don't think they actually exist." and "Desert dwellers tend to be... fearless." He's absorbed many commonly held beliefs (and biases) in the Akademiya, a textbook example of someone who's been taught what to think rather than how to think. I wanted him to be realistic. However, he's still funny, charming, and overall good-willed, even if he's spineless and very easily led.

I've greatly changed the fic from the original rp, and only the base premise (yandere!naga!scara and the whole "commissioned to find the culprit for some strange murders in the Hadramaveth") remains the same. It went through several versions at first. In fact, before I came up with Sanad, I was going to have Cyno replace Alhaitham! But ultimately, I realized Cyno was actually competent and I might have had to write a proper fight scene, which I did not want to do. You can still see a remnant of the first draft I chose to leave in (from when Cyno was the disposable companion) in the bad joke Sanad tells at the beginning of the story.

Using Sanad also had other benefits that I feel helped pull the fic together!! His cowardly nature gave reader a chance to endear themselves to Kunikuzushi, for refusing to abandon Sanad even after he (frankly, understandably) ran away. Even this early on, I had decided that whatever backstory naga Kuni might have had, it absolutely had to revolve around betrayal since canon Kuni's backstory is so deeply tied to it.

It's a really minor pet peeve of mine, and it doesn't bother me too much, but I usually don't really like it when the yandere starts to fixate on the object of their obsession for no reason than, like, "love at first sight" or "they simply caught my eye for some vague reason I cannot put into words." It's not bad, per se, and it's not even a solid rule of mine! I can think of several fics I love that don't give a solid reason, though the characters in those have such a dynamic that you still understand why one became so interested in the other to begin with... (I'm making this more complicated than it is, I think, but I'm beginning to think it's just I just don't care for it when the MC has the depth of a piece of paper.) Anyway, I'm getting derailed again, but I chose to give Kuni a reason to empathize with the reader in the form of Sanad and his "betrayal" because of this preference of mine.

However, and I think I've touched on this a bit in a previous post, this wasn't the only reason Kuni decided to spare them. In fact, even after he decided to leave you for last, he still thought he was going to come back to kill you. What really interested him was your insistence on saving Sanad even after what Kuni perceived as a betrayal. Why would you try to help someone who didn't even make an attempt to help you? It doesn't make sense. You're too soft, it's endearing.

Whether or not Sanad's actions are justified is debatable, though I personally understand them. He's never fought in his whole life. If you, the experienced monster-fighting adventurer couldn't do it, how could he? He doesn't even have a sword. It's certainly cowardly and rude to say the least, but given the circumstances, I think it's the choice most people would make in that situation. Of course, it's absolutely something Kunikuzushi could have (and did) twist into something completely different. I think I made it pretty obvious, but contrary to what Kuni said, Sanad had no such malicious thoughts when he left you there. Kuni is extremely jaded; his perception of the world has been mostly shaped by the betrayals he's experienced, and he's no different in this AU. As I said before, Sanad's not a terrible person, just terribly average. If he had survived, he absolutely would have had survivors' guilt.

Anyway!!! I'm not sorry about the infodump, thank you for giving me the slightest reason to tell you all about it. Here's what you actually asked for.

Kuni views most people as inconsequential, little more than helpless ants. He doesn't care about them in the slightest. If anything, they irritate him. So when someone shows up–an old friend, a crush, anyone–his first thought is to get rid of them if they venture too far in, and especially if they see him. Even if he doesn't know that they know you. If he lets them go, more will come. If he finds out they're looking for you, specifically... well, it doesn't really change his plans. He's going to kill them no matter what.

It does motivate him though, to be a bit crueler, to make it last a bit longer. What they are to you doesn't change the outcome, but it might sour his mood a bit more if they were anything more than friends or family. It's not likely that he'll leave them be long enough to find this out, though. Logically speaking, they're probably not going to tell a monster like him all about the friend/family/crush they're looking for in this desert, especially not when he's clearly unfriendly.

It's not totally impossible, though. This hypothetical person would have heard all about the strange attacks (as mentioned in the fic), so seeing a large half-snake person could make them realize that Kuni was most likely the cause for your disappearance (even though they'd assume it was murder and not kidnapping). Even so, I doubt they'd have a little chat over tea about who all Kuni has murdered recently.

Anyway, I digress. Assuming he figures it out somehow, whether or not he tells you about them depends on his mood and your behavior. Unfortunately for you, dealing with people irritates him. Especially when they're specifically looking to take what's his from him.

He'll come back covered in blood either way, but if he's in a bad mood, or you haven't been on your best behavior, he'll tell you all about what they looked like. He makes sure to mention that they were looking for you, and describe in detail everything he did to them.

"I'm going to leave his corpse out to rot in the sun," he hissed into your ear, pulling away to look you in the eye, "for the vultures and serpents to feast on. It serves him right. He was on a fool's errand; it's impossible to retrieve what's lost to the sands."

[rolandkaros]

tbh I find it kinda annoying the way people think they have to put down sincaraz to bring up igaryna, they can both be good in their own way

if it makes u feel better i dont put sincaraz down to bring up igaryna i just dont find sincaraz that interesting

[pineappical]

it genuinely makes me laugh at how much ted has a grip on my brain its EMBARRASSINGGGG how many drawings i have of him (finished and unfinished) and yet im loving every single second of it

anyhoo how do any of yall feel about another babygirl drawing

[widevibratobitch]

laalalalala another vent post because i have no therapist to pay for listening to my bullshit

[bedforddanes75]

wish i was one of those people who could freely send hate comments because some of these swifties are so dense its so embarrassing to even use the same app at them

[todayisafridaynight]

any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

[gu6chan]

99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????

[fullmetal-the-last-alchemist]

googles how to politely tell my academic advisor that i would literally rather just end it all than go back to college for even a single class and if i cant get my grade for this stupid fucking class bumped up by a few points then i am going to fucking lose my mind

[kimmkitsuragi]

no i genuinely dont even know how i (or *anyone* in general) could go without any sleep for 3 days. or sleep 2 hours a day maximum for one whole week. at the end your brain gets so mushy and dead like what even is the point of forcing someone to do that

[patches-of-thistle]

i may only have 3 mutuals but that doesnt mean its too few in number to feel disturbances in the air

[modpoppy]

idk what the thing is called where no matter what you do people act like youre insane and weird and incompetent and annoying but it s the worst!!!!

me asking for input on a decision bc i know i will get made fun of for asking but its better that than making the wrong decision and getting made fun of

dont get an actual answer

me making a decision, specifically trying to leave myself open for multiple options later, and getting made fun of for not making The Obvious Decision

me getting upset bc i specifically asked for advice so i WOULDNT get made fun of

me being accused of deflecting blame and not taking responsibility for my (ill informed) decision that isnt even the Bad decision, just not the simplest

[logosbot-tm]

Sometimes, I want to complain really loudly on tumblr about random shit I dislike, but I know someone would show up to tell me not to do that.

Sometimes, I enjoy when ppl are allowed to have different opinions ✨️✨️✨️ even if they're negative ✨️✨️✨️

Hell, I love hearing opinions I don't agree w. It's neat to hear what someone else thinks and why!

Yes, complain about that random ass thing, that is (completely unimportant) fuck yeah. I disagree with you, but cool that you have different point of view.

Or hell yeah, you like the thing I dislike? Awesome, tell me all about how it makes you happy.

I don't like it, bc I just don't, but fuck yeah I'll listen to your rambles.

[fisshgutss]

see the bad thing is he’s starting to make me anxious and i will be addressing this this weekend bc he thinks im gonna cheat on him cuz the sex was bad last weekend 💀 and honestly i’m not gonna make excuses for him and him being insecure about this but i do elicit this kind of reaction often bc i am a very talented, beautiful, confident, kind, calm and collected person. like i am a very threatening presence to many who would like to see me fail to feel better about themselves, and it’s like i need u to step up not pull me down. they either love/admire me, hate me and want to see me fail or they’re scared of me and they feel threatened by me. like i should not be anxious about not texting you but im starting to be bc i don’t want to wake up to seven texts accusing me of being a liar, bc no matter what i say it wont matter if u think i’m lying and that’s just facts 🤷‍♀️ and like he told me that he thinks im perfect but knows im not so is trying to predict my fatal flaw and i straight up told him that i was offended that he was questioning my loyalty of all things bc i am very loyal person to where it becomes my detriment, like i will go down on the ship with u if i love u enough. and i do have flaws! im like one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet i dont take anyone’s advice and if i want to do something im going to do it. it’s a great strength but its also a flaw bc i know sometimes that what im doing is bad and ill do it anyways. i have to find out for myself. i’m secretive and i lie to get out of trouble and i often avoid confrontation or purposely take the high road to use it against u in later arguments like i can be bad. but why can’t u wait and figure this out naturally like ur gonna ruin this relationship and im trying to avoid that.

[jackass-jones]

Derby is for colts and fillies alike so long as they’re 3 year old thoroughbreds. 3 fillies have won the derby, though the race is historically dominated by colts due to speed qualifications. The oaks race is for fillies yes, but the derby is not just for colts like your post implies. Please stop trying to spread false information. Yes people who attend derby are mostly rich white folk but behind the scenes are poc workers and people who genuinely have a love for horses and the sport alike

That feels a bit better to know. For some reason idk people around here just label one race as the girl one and the other as the boy one and it’s like why are you being misogynistic about horses. So it’s nice its not like that in reality but now it’s like weird cuz whyyyy have people around me just been spreading horse misogyny my whole life 🤔

And yeah I didn’t intend to spread misinformation but hm I definitely don’t know derby lore very well I just know some fan culture that I’ve grown up around so that’s definitely not gonna give me a very clear picture so idk what I was thinking. I’m mostly just fed up with some of the ways people have treated the derby in my area and really just fed up with family rn so I was being bitter but I shouldn’t have made any like. Statements about the actual derby when I don’t really know what I’m talking about at all and also most things in Kentucky culture and history have a really interesting background and there’s always gonna be passionate people and poc involved that don’t really get shown on the surface cuz. Racism. I do have my big grudges against these rich people from out of state or from the rich neighborhoods of Louisville who treat the derby like some big spectacle but then scoff at the rest of the state and clutch their pearls in fear when they have to park in a closed off parking lot where they gotta pay a black man for parking and then walk through neighborhoods they deem filthy just to get to the derby but eh fuck them. Let’s be here for horses and kentucky history and culture and just celebrate the amazing shit that we have going on

[themindelectricdemo4]

negative in tags cuz i like writing tags note: there's 2 other posts expanding on this post just a little idk if they'll be posted before or after this one but they are or will be all on the same day

[epicdogymoment]

that one post was so right it really is the crushing weight of two manageable tasks <- he is about to start spiralling over his inability to complete two (2) 30 minute tasks in a day