#why is everything so haaaawwwrd <- about to kill self
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that one post was so right it really is the crushing weight of two manageable tasks <- he is about to start spiralling over his inability to complete two (2) 30 minute tasks in a day
#leologisms#why is everything so haaaawwwrd <- about to kill self#genuinely. so fucking upsetting to . to. [rephrasing so its less bad] to feel so incapable. cant fucking manage myself maybe i really AM#[redacted because i cant say it out loud] like. what the fuck is. do i really . can i really. have a life like this? really?#god it just. makes me feel so. so [REDACTED] especially when. this is a repeated behaviour#and i dont even feel like i deserve to say 'i dont know' or 'im sorry' because ive had it drilled into me that. that#that if i WAS sorry then id do better next time. ive never done better next time. ive consistently gotten worse. and and and#and it makes me feel like. well. then maybe i AM doing it on purpose. when OF COURSE im not. of course im not. who would ever want to#i just. i. its so so so so frustrating. i feel like ill never get help. or get better. im. im . im. i#i . augh.
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