#kid me saw no difference between boys and girls because i was like three and we all looked the same

[logosbot-tm]

Sometimes, I want to complain really loudly on tumblr about random shit I dislike, but I know someone would show up to tell me not to do that.

Sometimes, I enjoy when ppl are allowed to have different opinions ✨️✨️✨️ even if they're negative ✨️✨️✨️

Hell, I love hearing opinions I don't agree w. It's neat to hear what someone else thinks and why!

Yes, complain about that random ass thing, that is (completely unimportant) fuck yeah. I disagree with you, but cool that you have different point of view.

Or hell yeah, you like the thing I dislike? Awesome, tell me all about how it makes you happy.

I don't like it, bc I just don't, but fuck yeah I'll listen to your rambles.

[auras-moonstone]

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ don’t blame me for what you made me do

ᡣ𐭩 word count: 1.6K

ᡣ𐭩 pairing: gf!ethan landry x gf!fem!carpenter!reader

ᡣ𐭩 summary: y/n is finally able to get revenge on her sisters when the bailey family reaches out to her to ask her to join the plan.

ᡣ𐭩 contents/warnings: implied character death. murder. family issues. bonding over shared issues. fluff.

ᡣ𐭩 author’s note: on sunday it was scream 6’s anniversary and it made me miss that era sm😫 the fandom is so dead, especially the ethan/jack one.

y/n had always felt like an outsider in her own family. her mom’s favorites had always been sam and tara. and y/n went under her radar, the curse of the middle child, they say. and then there were her sisters, who she was also not very close with. despite having only one year difference with tara, the youngest sibling had a better relationship with sam, so y/n was also left alone in the sibling department. she only had her dad, who used to be her entire world until he packed his bags and left her behind. and it was all because of sam carpenter.

revenge is a dish best served cold, they say. and after years of waiting, the opportunity came to y/n. it actually knocked on the door of her new apartment in new york city.

“um, hello? can i help you?” the girl asked confused, seeing three strangers standing before her. one was a man around his forties, then there was a tall boy with curly hair and a red-haired girl with green eyes.

“hi, y/n carpenter, right?” the man said.

“yeah… do i know you?” y/n asked, a tad creeped out.

“no, but you knew my son, richie.”

richie, the man who used to date sam and then try to kill her. the man who tied y/n up and hid her in a closet, telling her she was going to be okay. murdering her was never in richie’s plan, and it still confused the hell out of her.

y/n’s eyes widened. “yes. i’m really sorry about what happened.”

“thank you.” the man gave her a small smile. “my name is wayne bailey, these are my children, quinn and ethan.” his two kids waved at her and she smiled in response. “do you think we could talk for a few minutes? i have something to say that might interest you.”

she reluctantly let them in, and wayne started telling her about what richie told them. how he noticed the tension between her and her sisters, how he could see the resentment in her eyes everytime she looked at sam, how sometimes they became murderous too.

“i don’t know what to tell you… what’s this all about? why are you here?”

“you see, y/n, your sister murdered my son. the light of my life, and i want her to pay. and by what richie told me, i think that’s what you want too.”

that captured her interest. “sam is the reason my dad—the only person i was close with in that damn family—left. so, whatever you have planned, count me in.”

“are you okay?” y/n asked ethan, who looked very deep in thought as they entered the dorms building. they had just came from a meeting at wayne’s house, and ethan had been dead silent the whole way back home.

“i just… aren’t you scared? that things won’t work out and we might end like every other ghostface?” ethan was very expressive when he talked, he talked with his whole body, especially his hands. the maniac hand movement showed y/n that he was very anxious about the whole thing.

during the time she had spent with the baileys, she had reached a conclusion—wayne and quinn were all for revenge, it was clear they were furious with sam. and ethan, although he truly loved his brother and hated sam for what she did, was in on the plan for the mere purpose of pleasing his dad.

richie had been the favorite, and ethan wanted so bad for his father to see him like he once saw his brother that he was willing to sacrifice his life for it. y/n understood that feeling of wanting to belong more than anyone else, which was why she had connected with ethan in a way she never thought would be possible.

they became each other’s comfort, each other’s safe place when things got overwhelming. it really sucked to fake being wary of him, to act like she was trying to keep her distance because—like the rest of the group—she didn’t trust the new members, when it reality she just wanted to wrap her arms around his frame.

“i won’t let anything happen to you. even if i have to take a knife to the heart to make sure you get out of this alive, i’ll do it. i can promise you that.”

ethan shook his head. “but that’s exactly what i’m worried about. something happening to you. the thought of getting out of this without you… fuck, that can’t happen, y/n.”

y/n had seen ethan being vulnerable, he let himself be like that around her, but this was the first time she had seen him cry. it was a sight she never wanted to see again.

she carefully brush his tears away. “okay, then we’ll have each other’s back, okay? please don’t cry, you’re killing me.”

“i’m sorry, i’m just really scared.” he hid his face on the crook of her neck and took deep breaths to stop the tears.

“don’t be sorry. never apologise for feeling, especially to me. it just makes me sad to see your pretty eyes with tears, but i get what you say.”

“i don’t want to go back to the group.” he pouted.

y/n chuckled then checked her smartwatch. “it’s late. chad might wonder where you are.”

ethan groaned. “i don’t care. i’ll tell him i was at study group. can i stay here for a bit?”

“you’re a little obsessed with my presence, landry.” she joked.

“and what if i am?” he said before letting out a nervous laugh.

y/n took him in. his strong arm was settled on the back of the couch, right next to her head. his temple was resting on his closed hand and he was staring intently at her with those killer deep brown eyes. he was so beautiful and she was so weak when it came to him. and fuck if his full lips didn’t look so inviting.

her index finger lifted and it was soon tracing the shape of his lips. they felt as soft as his cute curls. “then we’d be on the same page. because i’m a little obsessed with you.”

ethan’s arm left the back of the couch to end up around the back of y/n’s neck, pulling her close. her shaky hand found its way to his hard chest, right where she could feel the thunderous beats of his heart, which only became more erratic when their lips finally met.

“mmmh, wanted it so bad.” he said between kisses. “we’re not going back to being just friends right? because i can’t handle that.”

“are you out of your mind? no way. you’re mine and i get to kiss you whenever i want. well, whenever i can.”

“yours. fuck, that sounds so good.” he hummed contently. “it’s going to be so hard to hold back from you.”

“but then, when we finally get to release the tension, it’s going to be so good, don’t you think?” she smirked.

“you drive me insane.”

“right back at you, pretty boy. i don’t think you realize how powerful those puppy eyes of yours are.”

ethan’s blood rushed to his cheeks and y/n giggled like a schoolgirl. her chest felt like busting. she was finally happy. truly. the 6 foot two brunet boy lying beneath her was her one source of happiness, and she was not going to let anything take him away from her.

y/n stood in her ghostface costume in front of her sisters. she was practically bouncing on her feet, excited to reveal herself and see the look on the girls’ faces. ethan, who had already shown his face, had the biggest smile. y/n was so adorable he had to close his hands in a fist to fight the temptation of bringing her into his arms.

“ready for the last surprise?.” wayne asked.

“come on, babe.” ethan squeezed her waist and y/n took the mask off. her sisters stepped back in shock, faces tinted with hurt.

“how could you?” tara spat as tears fell from her eyes.

y/n rolled her eyes. “oh, cry me a river.”

“why would you do this? is this all because of him?” sam pointed her head at ethan. “what? you fell in love and he brainwashed you into becoming a killer?”

“do you think i’m stupid? of course not.” she scoffed. “i mean, i did fall in love with him, but that’s besides the point. they came to my door a few days after we moved.” and she told them how she came to work with the baileys. “i waited years, and now… i can finally make you two pay for how shitty you’d always made me feel.”

“what are you talking about? we’re your sisters, y/n.”

y/n glared at tara. “you have some fucking nerve. you’ve always made me feel neglected, until sam left town. we started to bond, but as soon as she was back… you forgot about me. how can you even say you’re my sister?” she yelled in anger. ethan took her hand in comfort. “and you?” she looked at sam. “you’re the reason my dad left, and i swear to god i’m going to show you exactly how badly that hurt.”

“you crazy bitch. you’re insane.” tara screamed at her.

ethan slashed her stomach in fury. “watch your fucking mouth when you talk to my girlfriend!”

“let’s just get over with this. y/n deserves a break.” quinn said.

the carpenters sure put up a fight, y/n was the one who got most of the wounds, but they had managed to succeed. wayne and quinn left to take care of gale and mindy while ethan stay behind taking care of his girlfriend.

“are you feeling alright?”

“don’t worry, eth. they’re bad, but not that bad. i’ll for sure live.” she reassured him. “we made it. i told you we would.”

“you did.” he laughed, and then hugged her tightly. “you scared me so much, though. i really thought i’d lost you when i saw you lying on the ground.”

“i could never leave you.” she brushed her nose against his and whispered against his lips, “i love you. thanks for walking into my life.”

[churrosbitxh]

My headcanons of the boys' siblings, and their relationships with them:

Neil - Only Child. Which explains all the burden and pressure he had all throughout his life, and I don't think he really had any friends except for Charlie growing up. He had other boys to hang out, but not really 'friends' kinda thing. His parents (his dad, obviously) never allowed him to do sleepovers or play out with kids when he was young. Neil never experienced nor seen anybody around his age with siblings, so he didn't know if wanted one or not, until he came to Welton and saw some brothers with different age gaps, and in some ways having their backs for each other, making Neil desperately wanting one- more likely a brother. Personally, Neil would've have been the best brother if he had either one. (I'm going to die now)

Charlie - Also an only child, but a baby sister/brother coming. He also gives me the vibe of an only child- but in a good way. If Neil was more of the repressed and pressured type, Charlie wasn't treated the same way, though he was taken to social parties and other fancy-schmancy places his dad took him (and he hated), which kinda explains his knowledge for women at his age- since he grew up watching different types of older, high class people. Kinda head canoning that his father made him to play the clarinet so he could do recitals infront of his guests, which made Charlie hate it even more (will rant about this soon). I think he might get a baby sister or brother- but after he's all grown up so basically he doesn't have anything to do with it, he'll probably act like the cool uncle kind of way.

Todd - Youngest of Three. Aside from Jeffrey, I like to think that he has an older sister, who married young and left home when Todd was probably around 5 or 6, so he doesn't have significant memories of her except that she liked to read. All the books Todd read at home was definitely hers- mostly literatures and poems, which she left when she left. That and the only memories Todd have with her will only be her reading the poems for him when he was a baby, even before he knew the words because his parents were busy taking care of the Golden child- Jeffrey, and she basically took care of Todd when he was an infant (will also rant about this soon).

His relationship with his brother is complex, but I don't think Jeffrey is a bad brother for Todd. Todd feels he's under the shadows because Jeffrey was so good at everything- so perfect, but I think Jeffrey also kinda has his own problems, he might have Golden Child Syndrome, which I will deal in an another post, but Todd and Jeffrey would probably get along around their 30's.

Meeks - Youngest with three sisters, all different age gaps. Meeks, our sweet little boy gives the youngest baby boy aura, but with sisters, which is very important explaining his behavior towards others. He's more of an empath than the other boys- and also catches how Todd feels awkward and alone on their first meeting. He is the type who doesn't like people being left behind, and this is infleunced his sisters growing up. Though he shows awkwardness when it comes to girls, he doesn't really have fantasies about them- since he saw the reality of women from his sisters. He's the only boy in the siblings, so he does have the pressure to excel academically, but not as much as Neil does, but he doesn't really mind it since he finds studying enjoyable. He's not good at sports, though- since he grew up reading more than working out. I love to imagine one of his sisters taught him Latin.

Pitts - The middle child, with an older brother and a younger sister, a little age gap between both. He probably has an older brother who graduated college and works now, and a younger sister starting grade school. He doesn't have good nor bad relationships with his siblings, they just don't have much in common, and shares different interests. But their family is pretty tight, so though his brother moved out, he visits home every now and then, giving Pitts advice or encouraging him about his love for science, though he has no idea about it. He doesn't get along with his sister, but he is protective of her since she's the youngest. Pitt's is the good case of being the middle child.

Cameron - Oldest with a young baby brother. He has a baby brother around 7 or 8, and has the need to impress him. As much as his relationship with his parents, he wants to show his brother how successful he is and will become, wanting him to follow his footsteps just as much as their father did. Cameron definitely has a goodboy complex and a perfectionist, over working himself and thinking what he does is always for the greater good. I personally think his relationship with his brother will fail when he comes to a certain age, with some miscommunications and different ideals.

Knox - Oldest of Three, a younger brother and a baby sister coming soon. He is the older brother of two younger siblings with age gaps, which explains his father's wishes of Knox becoming a lawyer just like him. He wants him to take over the family job, which he doesn't have a reason to say no- though he's not very fond with the idea but he doesn't have any other passion, so he just goes for the money and stability the job gives him. Since he has so much age gap between his siblings, he didn't really have much time with them since he came to Welton from a young age. Though he has a sister he never had any interactions with girls or what so ever, and he only met his father's clients or colleagues (which are middle aged or old, white males), he acts awkwardly around women. Though romantic at heart, I personally think he doesn't know how to show his feelings towards girls since all he never knew how to court them- and the most women he have seen were the ones who wanted to divorce their husbands. (This is my personal favorite head canon don't judge me pls)

I have more head canons and stories I want to say but that's going to be on a separate post because it is going to be LONG, so this is my thoughts about it lol

Disclaimer: This is only my HEADCANON, has nothing to do with the original story.

Please tell me if you want to hear me rant more about this things I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY😏😏😏

[thewalkingwillowtree]

Safe Haven

Series Part Listing Found Here

Neteyam x Original Na'vi Female Character

Summery: Seeking refuge, Xilä and her father venture to the lands of the Omatikaya clan, in the hopes that the Toruk Makto would be generous in allowing them to stay. This is her story about not only finding her strength, but finding love. 

Warning: This story contains smut, violence & abuse (please don't read if these topics will affect you)

Some characters have been aged up. Neteyam in particular is 23.

Xilä is my own creation.

~

Part 8 - Misunderstandings

Although Salveen and Jxo’s tent was relatively small, ever since Xilä had moved in, it had quickly become a social hub- much to the elder’s delight.

Salveen loved to entertain guests. So whenever the Sully siblings, Spider and any of their other friends came by to visit Xi, Salveen was always happy to whip up something tasty for them. 

The kids- as Salveen liked to call them, although all adults now, with the exception of Tuk, had started a weekly game night involving a combination of human and Na’vi games- resulting in a fun but boisterous atmosphere, especially when things turned competitive. 

Neteyam had learned early on that Xilä was quite competitive herself. He enjoyed sitting back and observing her taunting words towards her opponents, the excited glint in her eyes when she was about to win, her banter with his brother and Spider when things got heated, the little dance and handshake she and Kiri would do whenever they’d beaten the guys. 

She was a sight to behold and it was always difficult to look away. 

Tonight however, the first thing he noticed was that she seemed different. She was quiet. Reserved. Almost as if in a daze. 

Neteyam had arrived late and smack dab in the middle of a heated game between Lo’ak, Spider, Kiri and three other guys they usually hung out with. They were all seated around the rounded table in the centre of the tent, talking loudly and animatedly to each other. 

“You’re such a cheat monkey boy! I saw you hide something under your butt!”

“Oh yeah?” Spider taunted. “Come see for yourself then,” he said suggestively. 

“Don’t be gross man, that’s my sister,” Lo’ak grumbled over a mouthful of whatever treat Salveen had prepared that night. “Xi, are you sure you don’t want to get in on this rou- Tuk, would you let the girl breathe already?! She hasn’t even gotten a turn yet!”

Tuk, who was seated in Xilä’s lap, spat out her tongue at him. “We’re having girl talk Lo’ak!” 

Kiri snorted. “Tuk do you even know what girl talk is?” 

“Of course I do. It’s when girls talk. Duhhhh,” she sassed with an eyeroll before turning back to Xilä to continue to say whatever she was before. 

“See this is why I say we should leave her at home,” Lo’ak complained, “but noooo, because mom says if she wants to go, we have to bring her along.” 

“Neteyam, hey man,” W’aote said, being the first one to spot him arrive. “Sub in for me this round will you? I’ve got to piss,” he requested, standing and leaving before Neteyam could even respond. 

Neteyam sat in his spot, greeting everyone as he did. He looked over to where Xilä and Tuk were seated on the other side of the table with an expectant stare, waiting for her to acknowledge him..….but she didn’t. 

Clearing his throat he asked, “ Where’s Salveen and Jxo at?” 

“D’avi’s,” they all replied simultaneously with the exception of Xilä.

“Xi, do you want to play this round?” he called out with a grin, but it soon dropped and his ears fell backwards when all she gave him was a polite smile and a quiet, “no thank you.” 

Throughout the night it became abundantly clear Xilä was avoiding him and he fucking hated it. She still smiled and laughed and participated in a few of the games, but he knew her so well by now, he could tell something was wrong. 

She was not herself….she was not herself with him specifically. Her smile never met her eyes when they fell on him, it was almost as if she was forcing herself to be around him. 

Later into the night, when he finally got paired with her for a team game, she kept her head tilted so that her hair cut off his view of her face. His jaw clenched and he ground his teeth in irritation and his desperation to find out what caused this sudden change, intensified. 

They had no privacy being in a room full of his siblings and friends. A few times he asked her under his breath if she was okay, and each time she’d smile and say she was fine.

It was a fucking lie of course. He was fighting a powerful need to toss her over his shoulder, march them out of there and make her tell him the truth. 

Neteyam was so focused on Xilä, and trying to figure out what had happened in the few hours he had left her alone, he was oblivious to his brother’s concerned glances. 

Lo’ak seemed to be the only one to pick up that something was off between the two. He didn’t comment on it of course, but decided to keep the others distracted and unaware of the strained tension emitting from them. 

During their final game, Xi was the first to lose. Feigning a headache, she stood and bid everyone goodnight before making an escape to her room. 

Neteyam cursed under his breath when Kiri stopped him from trying to covertly sneak after her- announcing to everyone, it was his turn to play.  

By the time the night was truly well and over, he stayed behind when everyone had packed up and left. Making his way into her room, he stooped and flicked on her lamp, ensuring it stayed dim. She was snuggled under a thick pelt, fast asleep. 

Refusing to leave her just yet he laid on his side, propped up on his right arm as he stared down at her serene face. He frowned while he traced her features with the pad of a finger- noticing the slight puffiness under her eyes for the first time. 

Had she been crying?

His feather light touch smoothed over her baby soft skin, her little twitching nose and those fucking kissable lips. He needed her to wake up already so he could see her eyes. He felt like he hadn’t seen them properly all night. 

What was he missing? Why wouldn’t she look at him? Why wouldn't she talk to him?

Giving up trying to figure it out, he kissed her forehead and gently pulled her into his arms. She murmured incoherently when he moved her, then snuggled into him unknowingly as she settled against his chest and slept on. 

He only wanted to hold her for a little while. 

~

When Neteyam awoke in his own bed the following morning, he felt like the universe was out to get him. 

He had one goal and that was to get to Xi’s tent first thing, but no he could not....because his father woke him at the crack of dawn to inform him that he had to leave to attend to a situation.

This meant Neteyam needed to step in for him to conduct an evaluation on one of the warrior units- which was scheduled first thing. 

Neteyam was irritable and cranky. He was snapping at everyone as he tried to get himself ready for the day. It truly seemed like his family members were all purposely trying to piss him off. 

He felt horrible after because he had even made poor Tuk cry by yelling at her when he noticed she had painted flowers on the handle of his lucky dagger- thus ensuing an earful from his irate mother. 

“Get out!” Neytiri hissed through clenched teeth after her long angry berating. She had had enough of his bad attitude. “What is with you today? This is not like you Neteyam! Your mood has been like this all morning! Fix it or don’t come home.” 

“Bro. Bro!” Lo’ak called out, jogging to catch up to him when he stormed out. 

Neteyam made his way through Home Camp while adjusting the jewellery and comm device he had put on badly in haste. He blew out a breath, strapping a visor to his forehead. “Leave it Lo’ak. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine,” he said with a condescending grin. “I just thought in case you hadn't realized, and to reiterate what mom said...but you’ve been a massive dick.” 

Silence greeted Lo’ak as he continued to keep pace with his seething brother who was now fiddling with the strap of his riding satchel.  

“Is this about you and Xilä?” Lo’ak asked, going the direct route.

That had Neteyam halting and turning to stare at his brother suspiciously. “Why would you ask that?”

“A hunch?” Neteyam didn’t look like he believed him, so he went for the truth instead. “Look, I don’t know if you guys see yourselves, but usually you’re all….touchy and flirty. You two can’t keep your hands to yourselves, at all,” he said with a grossed out face. “You’re both completely oblivious to the sexual tension you create.” 

Neteyam swallowed. He honestly didn’t care at this point who saw them together. “So?” he said.

“So, I noticed she was all weird around you last night, okay? When you came in, she didn’t even glance your way…if anything, she looked tense. Normally Xi can’t wait to plaster herself to your side, and then you get this stupid goofy look on your face.” 

Neteyam’s ears lowered and a lodge formed in his throat. “.....I thought I was being crazy. It was weird, she was different- distant. I tried talking to her but all she did was fucking smile and say everything was fine!” 

“Are you going to go find her now?”

“I fucking wish,” he sighed, “I’m due to conduct an evaluation right now. Dad asked me to step in for him since he’s off dealing with some situation or the other...I’m already late and she’s all the way on the other side of Camp. I’ll have to find her after.” 

“Do you know what you did?” 

Neteyam rubbed the space between his eyebrows as if in pain, without response. That was all he thought about all night. He had no clue what he could’ve possibly done. 

So why was his idiot brother so adamant that he did something? 

“Not that I know of okay? And this could be all just a one off. We don’t know that something happened for sure.”

“Did you fuck her?” Lo’ak asked crassly. 

“What the hell man!” Neteyam hissed venomously with a backslap to Lo’ak’s arm, glancing around to make sure no one had overheard.  

Lo’ak simply shrugged. “I’ll take that as a no then. Did she want you to fuck her and you said no?”

Bewildered, irked and utterly pissed off, Neteyam stormed off, muttering an, “I’m fucking done with this conversation,” as he went. 

But the annoying pest that was his brother seemed to be resilient. “I’m just trying to help you, asshole!”

“Well I didn’t ask for your help!” he seethed over his shoulder. “Lo’ak, will you stay out of it?! This is none of your business!”

“Maybe, but I’m making it my business! Xilä is upset over something you’ve done and you need to fix!”

Neteyam stopped and rounded on his brother again, braids flailing around dramatically as he poked a finger to Lo’ak’s chest. “You keep saying that! What the hell makes you think it was something I’ve done?! Huh? What do you know? And quite frankly, why do you even fucking care?!”

“So what if I care!” he roared. “And I don’t know anything, alright?! I’m not the one she’s being weird around. It’s you dumbass! So I suggest you figure out whatever the hell it is you did you did, grovel your ass off and fix this shit!” Lo’ak yelled, giving his brother a two handed shove for good measure before he stormed away. 

Spider, who had observed the entire ordeal from afar, jogged after Lo’ak. He shot a bewildered looking Neteyam a curious glance as he went. “Hey cuz, what was that about? You two looked pretty heated.” 

Lo’ak shook his head as he headed straight for the labs. “Trying to talk some sense into him is all…Hey did Xi say anything to you yesterday?” he asked. 

“Uh…like what?” 

“About Neteyam? She was all weird last night.”

“No she didn’t and shit, I didn’t notice,” he frowned. “She seemed fine though. I don’t get why you think something’s wrong.” 

“Yeah I’m sure you didn’t notice,” Lo’ak said sarcastically. “Probably because you were so busy flirting with my sister,” he grumbled, ignoring his best friend's splutter of denial. “She’s not fine, Spider. It’s Neteyam she’s all off with. Something’s changed.”

“Um, no offence cuz but ah, you know the bet’s off right? You won….Why are you so worried about this? I care too but it’s not like it’s our problem to fix. They’re adults, they can work it out themselves.” 

Reaching the outskirts of the labs, instead of heading inside, Lo’ak sat on the steps of one of the trailers with a heavy sigh.

“Do you remember what I told you I overheard my parents arguing about a while back? About what the council wants from Neteyam?”

“Mhm, yeah I remember. It’s shitty,” Spider said, climbing onto the railing to perch on top. 

Lo’ak snorted. “Shitty is putting it lightly, he’s the eldest, so it’s expected of him. And you know the idiot…he’s all about following rules and tradition…so he’ll just go along with whatever they want- be their fucking puppet.”

He became silent for a moment. “That could have easily been me... except it’s not. I get to do whatever the fuck I want and he doesn’t. His whole life is already planned out,” Lo’ak explained. “They didn’t get to control my mother, so they’re trying to control him instead.”

“It bothers you…you feel guilty, don’t you?” Spider said seriously, staring at his friend with a frown. 

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I know I can be an asshole sometimes but I do care about him and I at least want him to be happy about the person he has to spend the rest of his life with- she’d be part of the family after all and…I’d rather it be someone I could put up with,” he added quickly, trying to play off the deep emotions he was suddenly sharing with his best friend. 

Spider ignored his joke and considered his words. “And you think that person is Xilä?”

Lo’ak gave him an “are you for real” look.

“Have you seen him this happy with anybody else? If they don’t sort this out themselves soon I’ll have no choice but to meddle…….His time is running out.”

~

Xilä stood from afar, watching with weighted breath as a team of ikrans swooped in complete synchronisation. One rider in particular caught her eye, causing a flutter to tickle her stomach. 

The riders landed one by one, gracefully dismounting before either releasing their beasts to open air again, or leading them over to the ikran enclosures a couple feet away. 

Neteyam spotted her the moment he landed. A prickle of relief and happiness tinged with uncertainty at the sight of seeing her there- waiting for him, flooded his chest. 

Although it hadn’t even been a full day since he’d seen her, he missed the heck out of her. All morning he contemplated last night’s events. He just wanted to hold her already- he felt deprived. 

Hurrying to dismount, he released Buddy to the open air again.

“Hey kids,” he called out to a small crowd of children who were all excitedly watching the warrior’s arrive. “Careful alright? Not too close to the fence,” he advised as he passed them, reaching out to grab his satchel that was hooked on a fence spike.

“Yes Sir.”

“S-sorry Sir.”

“You guys that was Neteyam,” one of them whispered in awe. 

Not stopping for a second he quickly closed the distance between him and Xilä as he removed his riding visor and then unstrapped his bow and arrow carrier, tucking them all into his long riding satchel before swinging it across his back. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said when he was finally toe to toe with her. “Are you- have you been waiting for me?” he asked hopefully, focusing intently on her face, taking his fill of her.

She stepped back trying to create some space when he cupped her jaw. “Yeah,” she smiled softly, keeping her eyes averted. “Can we talk for a few minutes? I won't be long, promise.”

Neteyam nodded, feeling a little a swoop of dread. “Ye-ah,” he replied, his voice cracking. 

He was beginning to hate that polite smile of hers. All he wanted was to see her light up the way she always did whenever she saw him. He wanted to lean in and hug her or even kiss her, but he refrained. 

He was also going to take more than a few goddamn minutes thank you very much. This sudden awkward thing they had going on was going to drive him insane- it needed to end.

Before he could lead them somewhere more private however, a voice called out to him. 

“Nete!” Leati hurried over, having just landed. Slowing to a stop in front of them she touched his bicep. “Where are you going? There are still a few more routines to run through. My team is gearing up right now, I already called for the direhorses to be escorted ov-”

She abruptly stopped, just noticing who he was with. She side eyed Xilä, then continued to relay to Neteyam all the drills he would miss as she turned her back so that she stood between the two of them, blocking Xi from Neteyam’s view.  

Xilä stepped back and looked away uncomfortably, she didn’t want to see them together. She was on a mission to end things between her and Neteyam- she just wanted to get it done and over with but she refused to stick around and have them rubbed in her face. 

She had had a good cry fest yesterday- getting everything out of her system, as Salveen hugged and soothed her while desperately trying to figure out what was wrong- Xi didn’t tell her though.

Later on, after assuring Salveen she was fine, the reluctant elder and her husband eventually left to spend time with their pregnant daughter and son in law. 

Xilä retired to her room until late when her friends started to arrive for game night. She had concluded the entire situation between her and Neteyam must have been one big misunderstanding on her part. 

The more she thought about it, the more the signs were all there. No wonder he kept saying they shouldn’t have been doing what they were doing. No wonder he kept stopping them from going further. 

She felt as if she missed something from D’avi's explanation about mating and relationships, but then remembered Neteyam was the son of the Olo'eyktan. The rules must have been different for him. She’d forgotten there were many customs she must not have been familiar with and deduced this must have been one of them.

If anything, she simply felt stupid. Leati was right- she had stupid silly hope that somehow she and Neteyam would end up together……forever- mated and bonded as one for life. But that was all it was- silly hope. A daydream. 

Yet it was all very real to her... Xilä was in love with him. 

The realisation had sent her into another round of bitter tears and as much as she loathed Leati, she couldn’t bring herself to continue to sneak around with her betrothed. She refused to be like some of the women who would blatantly sleep around with her father- knowing well he had a wife.

And so, Xilä decided she definitely needed to officially end things between her and Neteyam, and fast- not only because she was not a cheater but also to protect her own heart. 

Not wanting to stay any longer she said, “Um, Neteyam we can talk later, I’ve got-,” but she was cut off when he quickly side stepped Leati and reached out to take hold of her hand- preventing her from leaving with a fleeting panicked and pleading expression across his face. 

“Yeah I know all that Leati,” he said, turning serious as he faced the female warrior again. “But something important has come up. Why don’t you guys break for lunch and I’ll page Gwuyle to finish the rest of the session for me.”

He should have done that in the first place and gone after Xilä first thing that morning. 

Xi frowned, staring up at him. She wasn’t sure if he was even aware of his actions because not only was he holding her hand, but when she tried to pull away, his tail wrapped around her thigh.  

Leati made a strangled noise and blinked disbelievingly. Her eyes darted from Neteyam who was suddenly paging Gwuyle right then and there through his comm device, to their linked hands, to his tail curled high around Xi’s upper thigh- its tip, completely hidden under her skirt. 

Xilä, who had somehow momentarily gone mute, yanked her hand from his grasp, wide eyes on a murderous looking Leati. ‘Oh shit,’ she thought, swallowing guiltily.

However- Neteyam, who seemed oblivious to the tension and reactions of the two women- only because he was still on the line with the clan’s second in command, simply tugged Xi closer with an arm around her waist, so that her front clashed flush against his side.

She stumbled and clung to his warrior belt for balance, cheeks purpling from his actions. 

She was stuck. Immovable by his hold. To anyone looking their way, they were the picturesque image of a romantic couple.

Accepting defeat, Xi slumped against him, smushing her face into the space between his pec and bicep. He seemed to have taken that action as her being affectionate, because as he wrapped up the call he pressed a casual kiss to the top of her head. 

Misreading Leati’s muted, shocked expression, Neteyam continued on as usual. “Relax Leati. Gwuyle is just as good a reviewer, you’ll be in good hands for your team’s evaluation. Have some lunch and have your team check in after.”

Leati sputtered pathetically. “I- what..but, but it’s not even lunch yet! Nete can’t you-” she stepped forward to caress his free arm but Neteyam cut her off with an exasperated sigh.

“Then have an early lunch, Leati, run a practice drill or something. Anyone else would gladly take advantage of extra time before an appraisal- Oh great, the direhorses are here.” He whistled to his own amongst the herd being guided over by a group of wranglers. 

“Nete, please stay,” Leati pleaded. “What is so important anyway?!” she snapped, glaring at the back of Xilä’s head unnoticed.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said distractedly as he watched Antoyle approach. 

Neteyam’s massive direhorse chuffed in greeting. A small squeal escaped Xi when she was suddenly hauled up onto the massive beast- Neteyam keeping a large palm on her thigh to keep her steady. 

“I’ve gotta go Leati, good luck, alright?” he said, giving her a parting smile before easily mounting the creature behind Xi and securing an arm around her once more.

Xilä caught one last withering glare from the female warrior before Neteyam was charging them off. 

~

Riding hard and fast, Neteyam led them deep into the forest. He knew it was petty and probably overly possessive of him, but he was purposely taking them somewhere far. Not only for privacy, but also so that she couldn’t escape without his help to get back. 

Passing through a thick wall of vines, they found themselves in what Xilä could only describe as a hidden cocoon of serenity. 

A small tricking waterfall flowed in the far corner, pooling in a somewhat shallow well of rocks. The flora was thick and abundant.

Glowing plants illuminated the sunless hideaway, creating a serene and romantic atmosphere. 

“What is this place,” Xi asked, momentarily distracted by its beauty.  

“It is niwan loreyu, one of the many beautiful secrets of the forest,” he said over her head as he pulled them to a stop. “Very few know of its existence,” he continued as he dismounted and disconnected his queue. 

“I feel…” she couldn’t quite explain the feeling but it felt good- as if she were being hugged lovingly.  

“It is Ewya you feel,” he explained, while removing his comm device to stuff into his bag- he didn’t want any interruptions. He then tossed his satchel to the soft flooring. “Her presence resides heavily in this place.” 

“Did we really need to come all the way out here?” she grumbled as she accepted his help to get down- legs aching slightly from the long trip. Antoyle trotted off to graze on a patch of rich grass. 

“Yes,” he grinned, tugging her hips closer, relishing in the feeling of her finally in his arms. 

“You didn’t need to leave your duti-”

“I wanted to,” he said earnestly. “God, I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks,” he groaned, nuzzling his face into her cheek, affectionately. He froze when she suddenly tensed up. 

She swallowed as a guilty flutter emitted within her. “You shouldn’t have done all of that,” she whispered, stepping out of his arms as she avoided his stare. 

“Done what?” he asked, allowing her to go but itching to pull her back. 

“Leaving with me…holding my hand- the tail thing, the touching- all of it! Especially in front of her.” 

He frowned at her with a tilt of his head but stayed silent. 

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered more to herself than him. Squaring herself she faced him head on. “We need to stop, Neteyam.”

There was a small tightening in his chest at her words. He knew what she meant but asked anyway. “Stop what?”

She didn’t exactly know how to label it. “What we’ve been doing…you and I…everything we’ve been doing for the past-”

“No.”

Her jaw dropped. “What do you mean, no?!”

“I don’t want to,” he said simply.

“Neteyam, the sneaking around- it has to stop.”

“Then we will stop sneaking around. We will stop hiding. I know we never talked about it, but we can do that. We don’t have to remain a secret if that is what’s bothering you. Sweetheart, I’m sorry if you feel like I’ve been hiding you,” he said sincerely. 

She stared at him incredulously. “You want us to go public?! We can’t do that, what will-”

His ears fell back. “What’s so wrong about that?” he snapped.

“Neteyam,” she said, sounding so broken he felt a small part of him crack. “I don’t think you’re thinking clearly.” She rubbed the heel of her palms into her eyes. “Shit. Why is this so hard to do? I can’t stop thinking about you and all those stupid orgasms and now we have to sto-”

“You didn’t didn’t like the orgasms?!” he asked, alarmed- ears twitched high as his tail went limp. 

“No! Yes! Yes, okay! I liked it, I wanted it, I mean I practically begged for it didn’t I?” she shrieked somewhat hysterically. “But that’s not the point,” she said in frustration. “That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m telling you we need to end this!”

“Why?” 

“What?”

“Why? Tell me why? Why do you want to stop? Give me one good reason and then we’ll end things.”

Her face scrunched up in hurt. “Because I like you...much more than I should, but I know the truth now and I don’t want to come between the two of you…I-” She faltered and took a shuddering breath. 

Neteyam’s frown deepened- clearly not understanding. “Xilä what are you talking about?” 

“You don’t need to pretend anymore!” she snapped, folding her arms in vulnerability. “What I don’t get is why you didn’t tell me! I get that it’s supposed to be this big secret until you decide to announce it but- gosh Neteyam I feel like such a fool!” 

“Xilä,” he said seriously, staring at her in great concern. If anything he was looking at her like she’d gone and lost her mind. 

But she misunderstood his worry. “It’s okay,” she said quickly. “I’ll keep it a secret…‘Teyam, you’re my friend and I want us to stay that way even after- I don’t want to mess this up and I’m not blaming you…but I really don’t get why you didn’t say anything.”

When she noticed his clueless expression she mumbled out, “I know about you and Leati. She told me.”

He raised a questioning brow. “Me and Leati, what? Baby I don’t understand anything you’re saying right now. I honestly feel as if we’re speaking two completely different languages.” 

“Neteyam,” she said in a shaky voice, eyes pooling with liquid. “Why didn’t you tell me you were betrothed?” 

A beat of silence filled the air. 

“What?” he breathed out, incomprehensibly. 

Filling the sudden silence, she began to ramble as she fidgeted with her fingers. “Well I know it’s technically none of my business but well I thought maybe that’s something friends share with each other. Especially friends who did the amount of kissing and touching we did.” 

Shaking out of his reverie, Neteyam closed the distance between them, halting her movements by loosely linking his fingers with hers. 

Tilting her chin up he said very seriously, “Xilä…I am not betrothed.”

“But- yes you are.”

“Sweetheart, I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was intended to be bonded for life with someone,” he said intently. “Who the hell did you hear that shit from?” he demanded. 

“Well from Leati. She- I…” Xi spluttered, not meeting his gaze. “She said you two were…since months ago! Before you and I. You don’t just make that stuff up! You don’t lie about things like that! Why would she-”

Neteyam muttered a, “goddammit Leati,” under his breath as he tugged her closer so there was no space left between them. “Eyes, Xilä.”  

She knew the drill and looked up immediately. Her chest pressed against his upper abs so she had to arch her spine slightly to see his face properly. 

“So let's just go over this, shall we? Clear the air so that we’re on the same page.” 

She nodded, trying hard to focus on his stern voice and contain the flutters swooping around in her tummy from their proximity. Neteyam however looked like he was fighting to reign in his annoyance. 

“Xilä, I am not betrothed to Leati. I am not betrothed to anyone. Alright?” 

“But-”

“When did she tell you that?” 

“Yesterday.”

“Mm. That why you avoided me all of last night?” he asked, irritated.

A guilty expression appeared on her face. “Yes.”

All of the pieces were finally coming together now. Neteyam released a heavy sigh, nodding in understanding. He cupped her face and pressed a quick peck on her forehead.

“Come’re.” He hoisted her up the way he always did and her arms and thighs automatically wrapped around him. He couldn't deal with the distance between them anymore.

In short strides, he stepped into the rippling pool and took a seat, slumping against the rocky wall as he adjusted them into a comfortable position. The water was warm in comparison to the cool air but felt good, relaxing her slightly sore legs.  

Straddling his lap, the water covered her from her waist down. Her skirt fluttered around her hips, before sinking as it became soaked. His knees jutted out of the clear water when he propped them up, causing her to slide forward which made her core land flush against the skin just above his loincloth.

A large palm slid up her back, arching her towards him while his other soothed along her thigh. “Can I have a kiss? Please?” he pleaded- one small taste was all he needed. 

Xilä felt a bit emotional but held it in. Shaking her head up and down eagerly, she cupped his jaw, and with a soft, “yes,” she kissed him. 

The kiss was fleeting but it was very much needed in the current situation. Neteyam broke them apart with a final one, two, three sweet pecks before he was pulling back to see her face. 

“So we need to talk. There are some things you need to know, Xi,” he said seriously. 

“Alright,” she nodded, bringing her hands together to fiddle with his battleband. 

“First of all, Leati-” He tsked. “I think she probably misinterpreted a particular situation- which I will tell you about now. I’ll be sure to speak with her and clear the air of course but this is all honestly one huge misunderstanding.” 

“Well I’m quite curious to know what it’s all about. She was very territorial over you.”

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I know how she can be sometimes.” He took a breath and rubbed her thighs under the water. “Xi, when I turned eighteen the council told me I was required to find a wife by twenty-one. They thought I’d take a woman already by then…but when I hadn’t, they decided to give me a deadline.” 

Xi’s brows rose high and her jaw loosened. “They can do that?! Why would they even do that to you?”

He shrugged. “Because they can. Apparently it’s a mandatory tradition to ensure and secure the line of leadership. I’m not even going to go on about the heir they also require,” he said with an eye roll. 

“Wait wait wait. They’re giving you a deadline for finding a mate AND they are telling you when to have a baby by?! That’s ridiculous!”

Neteyam held his laughter. Her upset reaction was too cute for him to handle. “Yeah…but I put my foot down about that one. Don’t worry, no babies to worry about right now.”

“Okay…uh, continue,” she said with a blush. 

“So I’ll be honest I didn’t really try all that hard to find someone. I was too focused on my position. My training and skills were my priority- the whole mate thing, as much as I agreed, it was a lot of pressure. So I ignored it for a long while.

By the time I was a couple months away from the deadline, the council decided to take matters into their own hands. The fucking rumour mill ran wild when it became public knowledge I was looking for a mate. Every eligible female was practically being shoved down my throat.”

Neteyam shook his head. “Anyway let’s just say I learned the hard way that not all women wanted me for me. Quite a few only cared about the fucking title and the perks that came with it.”

Xilä bit down an angry retort about said women, but stayed quiet instead, soothing her palms along his chest, comfortingly. 

“The council was pissed when still I had no one chosen by my twenty-first birthday. They were all so disappointed... but I knew this was my duty. I knew I had to follow through and do it anyway. So I begged my father to plead my case and get me three more years. It was granted but it came at a cost. If I didn’t find someone by then, they’d choose for me.”

Xi's angry protest was interrupted when Antoyle chuffed, annoyed by an insect flying around his snout.

“A couple months ago, Leati’s mother- Fe’ska suggested I take her daughter as my mate. That was all it was…a suggestion. Leati and I, we don’t run in the same circle but our mothers are friends, so we’ve known each other since childhood. But I could never and have never seen her in any romantic light,” he assured, staring directly into her eyes. 

“You remember the meeting I attended a while back? The one you said I was all prickly afterwards?” 

She nodded. 

“Not only did I get another warning that my time was running out, but they decided on Leati as their final choice if I don’t succeed....If I don’t find anyone by my birthday next month, I’ll end up with Leati. She and I never spoke about it…but her mother must have said something. So that’s the only reason I could think of her making such an assumption, which is ridiculous anyway you take it.”

“Wow,” Xi whispered, slightly overwhelmed by the information thrown her way. 

“Yeah, that’s it- all of it. That’s everything.”

He seemed worried as he tried to read her emotions. “I um, I just want you to know, I wasn’t hiding all of this from you, purposely. I’ve actually been trying to get some more time but- they’re not budging.”

“It’s okay I get it. I don’t get the entire situation though. Can’t your father do something? He is Olo'eyktan!” 

Neteyam shrugged. “He can, he’s offered to step in, but I already agreed when I was eighteen. There’s a binding contract and everthing, so I have to keep my word.” 

“What are you going to do, then?” she rasped, uneasiness sinking in her stomach. She hated the whole Leati as his mate, deal.  

He pursed his lips and stared at her in silence, thumb tapping on her skin. “It depends.”

Her brows furrowed. “On what?”

“You, baby.”  

Her ears flickered. “Me?” she squeaked.

“Earlier, you said you like me too much…is that still in effect after everything I just shared?” he asked hopefully. 

“Umm, well. Honestly, I may have downplayed it a bit,” she said sheepishly. “It is more…love, than like.”

Xilä held her breath as she watched his expression morph from apprehension to understanding, to pure giddiness. 

“You love me?” he said with the widest grin on his face she had ever seen as he leaned in while simultaneously tugging her forward. “As in, love love? In love with me?”

Xilä giggled at his teasing and sailed her hands up his body to grip his neck, thumbs stroking his skin. She bore a matching grin while he nuzzled her cheek, trailing along her face to rub their noses together. 

“That’s quite funny,” he said, “because guess what, sweetheart?”

“What?” she hushed against his lips, crinkling eyes boring into his. 

“I’m in love with you too.”

She knew it was coming, his teasing tone had said it all but yet she still felt that bubble of emotion surface. 

Neteyam’s face softened into a concerned frown. “Sweetheart. Xi what’s with the face?”

She choked on a laugh, shaking her head. “I’m okay. Sorry,” she smiled through teary eyes. “It’s stupid.”

“Tell me anyway,” he said, kissing her scrunched up nose.

“I’ve never had anyone say those words to me before,” she admitted shyly. “It felt good, that's all.” 

“Fuck….” he whispered, in upset. He seriously loathed her parents more than anything at that moment. 

“Then I will make sure you hear those words every day for the rest of our lives, okay? Baby, I will try my hardest to make sure of it,” he promised sincerely. “I love you Xilä.” 

“I love you too Neteyam.”

~

“Can we stay here forever?” Xi sighed, in complete contentment. 

“If you want,” Neteyam agreed easily. 

He’d give her the damn universe if she wanted it. 

Xilä sucked the last of the sweet juice that coated her fingers, humming happily as she did. “Well that was delicious,” she said, tail sailing like it usually did whenever she ate something yummy.

They were still in their little hideaway. Seated side by side, they munched on some picked, ripe fruit as they dried off on the soft, sweet smelling grass. 

Neteyam’s legs were splayed and propped up, but he’d dragged and draped her both thighs over one of his. Xilä leaned her temple against his bicep and took his hand to play with his fingers on her lap.

“Will they have a problem with it? Well, with me?” she suddenly asked, feeling a bit insecure. 

“Who? The council?” he asked over a mouthful of fruit. 

“Sure, but more importantly your parents. I’m probably not who they were hoping you’d end up with,” she admitted.

He looked down at her with a crooked little smile. “My parents will probably understand more than anyone else. My father is from the stars, remember? Against all odds they fell in love and chose to be together. And as for the council….” he shrugged. “I don’t fucking care. You know why?” 

She shook her head. 

“Because I. Choose. You.” 

Beaming, she stretched up and used a hand to tug on his neck, begging to be kissed. He obliged eagerly, sweeping a tongue along her bottom lip so she’d open up for him. 

With a simple move, she was scooped into his lap. Her palms danced down his chest, fingernails grazing his nipples as she trailed her way to his bare midriff. He had taken off his belt and left it out to dry. 

“I always liked these,” she mumbled against his lips as she stroked his abs appreciatively. 

“Mmm, I know. I’d see you staring at them all the time whenever you thought I was distracted,” he smirked, chuckling when he heard her shocked gasp. 

Xi sat back. “You did?!” she shrieked, feeling thoroughly embarrassed. 

Neteyam licked his lips and plopped the last of his fruit into his mouth.

“Oh yeah,” he murmured, leaning back on one arm comfortably while the other reached up to pinch a pebbled nipple through her top. “These would get all showy, and your tail would flicker all eager like,” he teased. 

“Oof, I can’t believe I was so obvious!” she wailed, slapping a palm across her face in horror while he laughed out loud. She lightly smacked his chest in retaliation. 

“It was cute, baby,” he said, licking away a drop of juice that escaped him. Xilä stared as he tried and failed to catch it, so she leaned forward and licked the bead from the corner of his lip for him, sucking on the skin a bit. 

When she pulled away Neteyam smirked again. “You're quite a spicy little minx you know that?” 

She shifted in his lap and wiggled her little butt into him. Her eyes glinted, knowingly- a stark difference to her blushing disposition a few moments ago. 

He knew that look all too well by now. Sitting up, he pulled on the tie behind her back and instantly removed the strip of cloth from her chest. Eyes locked on hers, he tackled the tie on her hip next, pulling the slightly damp skirt off of her, flinging it to the side as well. 

“What do you want Xi?” he asked, reaching down to free her of the under cloth she usually wore. 

She knew the drill by now. Tongue or fingers. 

“Wait.” Gripping his wrist, she stopped him from tearing the poor flimsy cloth off of her. “You can’t keep doing that,” she said sternly with a hint of amusement. 

In quick succession, her nimble fingers undid the tiny knot and then she was finally bare to him. 

“I can always get you new ones made, you know?”

“Yeah? And how’s that going to look if you’re constantly requesting them from the seamstresses? What are they going to think?” 

Neteyam shrugged. “Probably that I am keeping my mate thoroughly satisfied?” 

“Your mate?” Xi asked, lighting up by the thrill of his words.

They had spoken about it not too long ago.

When he officially asked her to be his, she hadn't been able to contain her excitement. Xi had practically tackled him with slew of yeses and kisses. She was actually going to be his wife and would be forever grateful to the Great Mother for blessing her so abundantly.

Realizing what he said, Neteyam’s ears flickered backwrds and his cheeks tinged purple. Xi thought he was freaking cute whenever embarrassed.

“Sorry, I just- well you know what I meant…” he stuttered, rubbing at his temple bashfully. 

 Xilä’s smile was relentless. She loved the sound of those words coming from his lips. 

Having enough of the roles reversed and Xi’s giddiness at his embarrassment, he tossed a sudden curve ball at her. 

“I want you to ride my face.” 

Her smile slipped right off when she understood his meaning. “Uhhh, um. How will that work? Won’t I stifle you? How will you breathe?” she asked innocently. 

“I just won’t,” he teased, playing with her breasts as if they were his favourite toy. 

“You could die, Neteyam!” 

“And I will die a happy death,” he countered, lifting her to her knees so he could suck on the rounded flesh of her chest. 

All the while, poor Xilä was contemplating the logistics of his request. There was apparently a lot she still didn't know. D'avi had obviously not been able to educate her on everything, so she knew she’d have to learn and figure out the rest herself.

“Relax baby,” he said, seeing her concerned expression. “I’m teasing. I won’t die because I’ll have plenty of air. It's only my mouth you’ll be riding anyway. If you don’t like it we can stop. You don’t even have to do-”

“No, I want to do it!” she protested. “I want to try. Oh and um, I choose both by the way,” she said, realizing she’d never responded to what she wanted from him. “Tongue and fingers.”

Neteyam shook his head with a laugh. “Yes, Ms. Little Greedy Butt, as you wish. Now come here. You’ll get your tongue first,” he said, lifting her entirely as he laid back. 

Xi was in for another sore legged journey.

~

What a rollercoaster this one was! It was touch and go for a minute but so happy it was all cleared up.

Do you guys hear the wedding bells?!!!

I think Lo’ak was my favorite part though lol

Okay, so hadn’t planned on it, but please let me know if you want the rest of the spicy scene from the end or if it’s fine that way. I’ll add it to the next part if you do.

As always lemme know that you guys think :)

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen @granddearduck @riatesullironalite @strawberri-blonde @earthling55 @innercreationflower @duckworthbean @gyuventure

If you'd like to be tagged or I forgot you by accident, please let me know.

[ajbullet]

My thoughts on episode 3 of PJO: (spoilers)

I so enjoyed doing this for the first two episodes and the response was great, so hey, maybe this will be an entire series thing

-The oracle was amazing. It was a perfect mix of creepy yet humorous with Percy’s perfect voice crack and “you’re a Halloween decoration” line. Having just reread the book, I wouldn’t have remembered that the prophecy came from Gabe so that was a really cool, book-accurate detail I enjoyed.

- The WAY PERCY CHOSE ANNABETH! I freaked out. Cause you know in the book Annabeth is just like “I’m coming” and that’s that. To see Percy go out of his way to CHOOSE her for his quest was so special to me and I loved it (even tho it was for a different reason than I originally thought.)

-Annabeth’s reaction to getting picked was perfect. This is a girl who has waited YEARS for a quest and in no way do I think she was expecting to be picked. Hoping, of course. But Leah’s expression of shock then excitement was perfect

- Grover talking to the horses

-Percy picking Grover

-“I’m going to back the best snacks” The snacks in question being tin cans

-Bro give Thalia a break Percy, wth 😭. He came at her so hard for someone he hasn’t even met. Which was hilarious and so Percy-like, but dang. I thought Annabeth was gonna kill him right then and there.

-“She met a Pinecone’s fate” Like this boy…🤭

-I loved watching Leah’s expressions the whole time the three of them were traveling to the bus terminal. I will never get over how subtle she is able to make her thoughts appear on her face. Like you could clearly tell she was taking everything in for the first time in 5 years, while still trying to remain calm and seem in control in front of the other two

-THE BICKERING OMGS. I wasn’t ready for the arguing, but it fits so well. It MADE SENSE. Like none of these kids know just how much they can trust each other and their all scared and they don’t really know what they are doing so of course they are going to fight and argue and take out their emotions on each other.

-Grover’s consensus song was perfect. I had no idea why he was clapping at first and when he started to sing I was scared because it had potential to be really cringy but I honestly think it fit his vibe and was cute.

-ok, so for the scene with Annabeth in the store, I loved of course cause it was my girl and I originally watched it as a kid with a lot of money placed in front of infinite candy and she couldn’t just pick ONE so she got them all and it was adorable. But I’ve also seen posts talking about her trying to read the wrapper and since she’s dyslexic she couldn’t tell what flavor was what so she got all of them, which would also make sense and is a perfect subtle detail. Now I just saw one post that said she was trying to pick the perfect candy to make Grover and Percy LIKE HER and that just about broke my heart. Feel free to comment or reboot with your opinions because I’ve loved seeing all these different takes on that scene. All I know is it was awesome and the contrast between a girl picking candy and immediately sensing something is wrong and putting up her guard was a perfect way of showing how life is for demigods

-The invisibility cap!!!!

-“We’re lost in the woods, somewhere in New Jersey and we’re never gonna make to LA” was all I could think about

- again the BICKERING. Annabeth calling Percy out. Her asking what he’s afraid of. Grover trying so hard to keep the peace. (As a middle sibling, I felt that in my soul). “He was my protector first!” Loved that. Just the whole conversation was so interesting

I’m gonna make a part two because I have so many more thoughts on Medusa and her story and I’m hungry so I’m gonna go eat.

Part two:

[erospandemos]

Impromptu Sleepover

Happy Valentine, my friends. For the little of you who already have a special someone, show them how much you love them! For the brave ones who have yet to make a confession, do it! Be prepared for rejection but don’t fear it: you miss all the shots you don’t take.

As for all the others who are lonely in the pink and red holiday, we’re in this together: here’s a little story to cheer you up. I hope you’ll enjoy.

Signed,  Eros

-

Three hours and sixteen minutes. 

That’s how long you’ve been stealing glances back and forth between two lovers and your dream girl, in this small apartment that smells faintly like cherry and cookies and Hayoung’s soft, delicious scent. And that’s how long you two have been silent. Wholeheartedly silent.

You were sitting beside your best friend as you watched her softly lit face by the movie playing in the background. A cinema wasn’t necessary when you already had the best seat, shoulder-to-shoulder with Hayoung. If you were looking at her every ten minutes, Hayoung was every eight, casually meeting your eyes at times and turning around to the screen like it was just by chance, flustered.

You did this a lot of times before but why was your heart beating so fast? You were sure she didn’t notice how your cheeks flushed whenever her hands brushed against yours, whenever your shoulders touched, whenever your legs met, and whenever her star eyes lit up your dark pupils. 

Actually, maybe she noticed—you swear you saw her grin when you jolted up from embarrassment at her face being too close to yours. 

“I need to get some water,” you said and run to the kitchen. 

Hayoung lets herself fall on the warm spot you left on the couch and kept following the movie.

You bet she isn’t even thinking about it. 

You bet she doesn’t care. 

You bet you were the only one in distress, nervously fiddling with your fingers, sulking to the vintage notes of  “The Portrait” while she’s excitedly rooting for the two lovebirds to kiss, completely entranced. 

What do girls even think about all the time? 

What does she think about? 

Food? Puppies? Songs?

Does Hayoung even fall in love? Or was it just the guy falling for her? 

She might not have realized it, but maybe some other boy quietly took a liking to her and maybe, in the smallest chance, microscopic probability, unlikeliest percentage, she also—sort of—maybe liked him?

You shiver, wondering who that might have been. Wondering whether the crush she might not even have would be extraordinarily lucky or—

“It’s so good, isn't it?”

You turn so fast, you feel a muscle pull. “What?”

“I can't believe you've never watched this movie before,” she says.

“Oh, the movie you mean.” 

You massage your neck. She stares at you with glittering eyes.

“It's such a classic, I just... Well, I'm glad you decided to watch it with me, even though, you know, you didn't have much of a choice. It's all good, at least you can say that you've watched it now and people won't laugh at you.”

“Hey.” 

“I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.” 

You think she’s biting the inside of her cheek to avoid bursting out laughing. 

“I don't think I've had a Saturday night as lovely as this in so long. I know we went out last weekend but that was different, you know.”

“The aquarium was really fascinating,” you nod. “The dolphin show was really cool.”

“Yeah, I had so much fun. I did have a great time but it wasn't lovely, you know.”

“It’s because you had to leave your home right?” You shake your head in disappointment. “And now because you’re hibernated in your house, you’re having so much more fun.”

“Yes, I don't like going out much. Yes, I'd much rather stay inside and watch movies.”

“That makes you sob.”

“Yeah, movies that make me cry. The ones that make you feel like they're the best ones.”

You snort. “Just because it’s a little sad?”

“I just think Titanic has got such a bad reputation and it's gone down as like a cheesy love story but when you actually sit down and watch it, I mean, how can you not become invested in their story? Yeah, it's so sweet and it's based on a historical story.” You think about the situation you’re in. It’s not a date. But if it were—which it isn’t—it would be the best date of your life.

Of course, it wasn’t. But. If it were. Even when, you must admit, it almost feels like one. You had to remind yourself you were just hanging out… as friends.

“It was interesting,” you say as if you remembered even a single moment from the movie.

“Yeah, no it is, it's super interesting. And like they had an actual team that had to go and do all the diving too, you know, get all the shipwreck footage and all that kind of stuff.” Hayoung puckers her lips. “Oh yeah, and did you know that Rose was based on a real passenger from the Titanic?”

“What a geek.”

“How can you say that that's geeky? It's like general knowledge I'm sure it is. Oh my gosh, you're just being salty because you lost the bet that you wouldn’t enjoy it.” Hayoung puffs her cheeks and furrows her eyebrows in such a way that reminds you of a little bear. You don’t have the force to disagree with her.

“You are? Oh, you're such a geek.” She rolls her eyes.

“It's so nice and warm. I can hear the radiators coming on again. It's gonna be like boiling in here. Let me just stretch my legs.” Hayoung strokes her feet to collect some heat and pushes her legs onto the blankets sitting on your lap, not caring if you’d take offense at her pink rabbit-covered socks. 

“Get off me.”

Hayoung whines. “Come on, we've been in the same position for like, I don't even know how long or what time is it?”

You look at the clock on the wall. “It’s 2 am.”

“It's not 2 am.” She noticed the clock. “It is. How did it get so late?”

“Maybe because the movie was so damn long.”

“Oh yeah, I guess it was a three-hour movie.” 

“I should go home now,” you say. She stretches and her legs take more of your space but both of you then noticed the noise from outside. You look out the window and see the whole sky coming down in a thunderstorm. You thought Zeus was playing with you, after you had to suffer and try not to go insane for three hours. It was far from a blessing.

“Wow, oh my gosh, look at the rain,” Hayoung said, standing up. “Wow, that is so heavy.”

“No big deal, I can walk home.” 

“Oh, there's no way I can let you walk home in this.”

“It’s fine.” 

“No, no way.”

“It won’t kill me.” 

“No, just stay. Please. Please, just stay. Please, are you gonna make me beg you?” Hayoung whines in an adorable way. “Please don't make me beg. Oh, do you know what, I'm not even gonna ask you anymore? I'm just gonna block the door if you try to leave.” And then she got mad, pinching her eyes like how red pandas furrow their fur.

“Oh, you think you could?”

“I could take you on. I could. I'm so much stronger than I look, thank you very much.”

“Even though you’re this small?” 

“Yes, even though I'm that short,” she says. “I can't say that forever, you know. But for real, you are staying and that is that. Don't even try and argue with me, I am being completely serious right now. I am not letting you walk home in the rain, in the cold, really late at night. I'm not doing it.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Of course I'm sure, don't be silly. What kind of friend would I be if I let you walk out in that rain? If you go out, you are going to catch a cold.”

Suddenly her eyes spark again and she speaks furiously without catching a single breath. “Oh my gosh, you know what this is gonna be. I think this is gonna be like a sleepover. Yeah, a sleepover? Wow, I haven't had one of these since I was like maybe eight, or nine? I can't even remember what you do at a sleepover.”

“Well, we can either watch another movie, but I’m tired, or just talk there.”

“Okay right I'm gonna go put my jammers on and I'll grab you some extra blankets as well.” Hayoung jumped out off the couch in excitement, buzzing and jumping around like a little kid. “Okay. This is so crazy I can't believe you are actually stopping over.”

“We get to talk about the sleep things that you do at sleepovers. I can't remember but, um, what do you think? Oh, truth dare. Or we could talk about gossip. I'm not really a gossip person but we could gossip about school.”

“Nothing happens in my college. It’s just a bunch of nerds like me studying and… studying.”

“Oh, well you’ll find something or I’ll just talk the whole time.” Hayoung looked around to think and hummed. “Would that even work? Oh yeah, that would be a no.”

Your friend signaled you to come to her and you walked to her bedroom. It was just like how you expected it to be—very feminine, with plushies and small decorations. There was also pretty stationary, the kind girls use, on the desk together with all her notebooks. “

Okay. Here's your blanket,” she says, throwing it to your face. “And you can have this pillow. It's the comfiest one that I've got. I'm sure you can have it of course. You are my guest.” 

“So I sleep on the couch…?” 

“Oh well, I thought you could just sleep here if you wanted to. Well, it's really chilly downstairs so like you're free on the sofa if you sleep there and there's no way I'm gonna let you sleep on the floor,” Hayoung says not paying much attention to you because she was busy taking everything out of her closet. Things that she didn’t see for the past three years and things that sat there since she bought them. She turned around, “Well would you let me sleep on the floor if you had a sleepover at yours?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh god.” Hayoung pouted. “You are just so mean to me.” Then she flopped on the bed, patting the place beside her. “Just get in here silly. Well, this is the bed that I've been bragging about.”

“Wow, it’s soft,” you say, sitting on the bed and bouncing a few times to test the firmness of the mattress. The way you two looked next to each other was almost comical. Your friend was there in a cute pajamas while you had black jeans and an old uni hoodie.

“Yeah? Oh, it's just so comfy. So comfy. It is warm. You're gonna warm up so quickly I promise. Yeah especially with all these extra blankets and pillows as well. Body heat. Do you need any extra pillows or are you sure you don't want some socks?”

“No, I’m good.” 

“Okay. Okay. I'm just gonna get comfy then. Hmm, that's so good.” Hayoung lays with her chin on the pillow, it was a big fat one, and she looked like a cat rolling on a ball. When she closed her eyes and relaxed, her face naturally came down to look like gudetama. She was calm and looking at her calmed you. 

“Is that how you sleep?” you ask. “Won’t you get back pain?”

“Yes, I really sleep like this. You don't snore too loud do you?”

“No, I don’t,” you hum. Hayoung seemed a little slow. Her energy was starting to leave her body.

“I'm so sleepy. Tell me something.”

“I’m really happy I can spend time with you.”

Hayoung giggles with happiness. “I'm really glad I get to spend some more time with you too. Even though we're going to be asleep for most of it. But you know, I'm really glad that you're staying tonight.”

“I really appreciate you being in my life,” you admit. “I never felt this way with any other friend before and I'm at a point where I wouldn't want to spend time with anyone else. I'm not bothered about spending time with anyone else.”

The silence lingers for a moment. The two of you expressed your feelings clearly but now, there was something on your chest that you couldn’t ignore. You were just waiting for who would say it first. And it was her.

“You want to know something really silly.” Hayoung forces her face into a smile. Her heart was doing something weird in her chest. Beating a little too quickly. “Maybe I shouldn't say it. Okay, well I'm gonna get close so I can whisper it. Because then maybe you won't hear it. Um, okay. Well, I get so jealous when I know that you've been spending time with someone else.” 

When you say embarrassing things, you only realize them after they come out of your mouth. “Did you hear that?” Hayoung blurted out. “Yes,” you said, and Hayoung felt like she was about to disintegrate into a puddle of sand. She wanted you to take it back, “No, what?” She wanted you to simply rewind as if nothing happened but it was too late now.

“I don't mean that in a weird way,” she quickly corrected herself. “That came out weird.”

You nodded, this time slowly. Trying to understand what she was talking about.

“It’s okay.” You offered her a reassuring smile but she couldn’t possibly look at you. Not a second longer. 

“I just mean... I mean, I'm so happy that you've been meeting other girls,” she murmured, feeling herself sinking deeper into the bed quicksand. “I really, I love to hear that you're so excited and you're happy and I'm so happy for you. But a part of me just hates it. I'm sorry. Oh, so stupid. You're just amazing. You are, you are.” 

You knew you were any of those things. Not by a long shot. But you think that your sweet friend only knows how to say the best of you and not anything else.

“You have this way that you look at me sometimes and it just makes you so fuzzy inside.” Hayoung is embarrassed. She rolls herself into a small ball under the blankets to protect herself, but can’t stop speaking, it was too late now. 

“Like, I can feel how much you care about me just from the way that you smile at me. It makes me melt. It makes me feel so special.” She wets her lips. “I don't know if you feel it too, but... Ever since we met, I just, I feel like I already know you. I feel like I already did know you. And every new thing that I learn about you just... I feel like I already knew it. And that, um, as you say, I just remember it.” 

You can’t believe what she’s saying. You can’t believe what you’re hearing. A part of your brain hopes that it goes where you’d like it to go but you can’t believe Hayoung was that person.

“This isn't making sense,” she laughs awkwardly. “It's just so strange. And if I'm being honest, I'm not really sure what this feeling is. Like, this feeling which is being connected.” 

“Um, I know that I'm saying all this…” She looks at you, serious and earnest like she rarely does but you know she had every intention to be so. “I don't want anything to change between us. Like, not ever. I would never want that to happen because I can't imagine not having you in my life.” 

Something surges into her as she lets these words come out of her. Something painful and delightful and confusing. Something breathtaking, rich, and frightening. Not a fully formed feeling, but an early draft of it. She wants to get a grasp of its taste before it’s gone. She reaches out, letting her words flow out.

“...which is why I'm so nervous right now, I think, but it just feels so right to say what I'm feeling. I always wonder how things could be different.” Hayoung’s skin is even redder than usual now that you notice, and she retreats farther into her little blanket nest. “And I keep having dreams about me and you. Dreams were more than this. And we're just so incomparably happy and I just can't help but wonder if it means what I feel it means, whether it means…” 

She glances at you. Your face is a blank void. Not because you were unconscious but because you were sweating balls and didn’t know what to do.

“No, I don't know. I don't know if you're asleep yet. And I'm 99% sure I'm dreaming anyway, otherwise, I wouldn't be saying any of this,” she admits. Her voice quiets down to only a whisper. “So guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you.”

“I love you,” she says again, to make sure she did. “Being with you is just so special and you are so wonderful. The way that you take the time to be joking if I'm okay. The way that you're just so in tune with who I am. The way it takes my breath away every time you say my name. I love the way that you make me feel. So many times I've just sat quietly trying to keep myself together when all I want to do is hold you.”

Hayoung hugs the pillow in front of her, tight enough to make her contain herself.

“Am I dreaming? Are we dreaming? This has got to be a dream. It's got to be.”

You were holding back until now but you couldn’t anymore and you smile. And she smiles. The smiles linger, warm, and honest, and you hear her speak again, in her soft smooth tone.

“I feel so peaceful and complete right now. I'm so glad I even my eyes and because you've got the cutest smile on your face. I can't believe I just told you all that. And you know if you don't feel the same, I completely, completely understand, you know.”

“But I do…” Your throat works miraculously. “I love you too.”

“Oh, you do. Oh, really? Wow, um, wow. And now I don't know what to say.” Hayoung makes room for you, and with a few tentative lumbering steps, you’re both under the same blanket. You feel small around her, although she’s obviously shorter than you. What made you so vulnerable? You didn’t know. She looks around, playing with her hair.

“Oh, wow. Um, um, um, can I, can I kiss you?” she asks. She holds her breath as she waits for you to speak. She’s so nervous—she keeps swallowing, and it sounds loud to her ears. Even her breathing sounds loud, even her heartbeat. “Is that okay?”

Your pupils are dilated looking at her so hard. You’re staring at her like you’ve never seen Hayoung before.

Her heart is pounding like a million trillion beats a minute as she scoots closer to you. She raises her head up and presses her lips against yours, and feels your jolt of surprise. And then you’re kissing her back, open-mouthed, soft-lipped, and at first, she’s nervous, but then you put your hand on the back of her head, and stroke her hair in a reassuring way, and she’s not so nervous anymore. It’s a good thing that she’s laying down on the bed because she is weak in the knees.

“This is just so perfect,” she says as soon as she lets you go.

“It really is,” you admit.

“I'm lying in my bed with you and I told you how I feel and you haven't run up screaming. Oh, my gosh, I never want to leave. This is the best feeling ever. I, I love you. I love you.”

“I love you too Hayoung, I’ve been holding it back for I don’t know so long but now I can say it as honestly as I can,” you say back. And she smiles.

“You are just incredible and I've always secretly felt just so lucky that you want to spend your time with me and that you care about me. It's just so, so wonderful. You are the best. And I love you. I love you. 

It just feels so nice to say. Well, I hope you have really sweet dreams. I don't need to dream anymore.” Hayoung quickly pecks you another time. Just for good measure. 

“Good night. I love you.” 

THE END

Written, 

5 February 2023 - 14 February 2023

-

Thank you @capslocked​ and @midnightdancingsol for editing this little story. 

[foster-the-world]

Great Gatsby

My Mom, Aunt and I saw the Great Gatsby last night. Great show. Amazing costumes and scenes as you would expect. We got $24 tickets we get through Bee's ice skating program. My husband and I will go see Water for Elephants next month. The Classical theater of Harlem is also having free nightly outdoor performance of a midsummers night dream - which looks like a fun adaption. Thinking of taking the girls next week. I think it has lots of glitzy costumes and dancing. It doesn't start until 8:30 but I think we can go for the first half. As a kid my mom had weekly tickets to the Muny - a huge outdoor theater. All of the kids went to the kids show once a summer. Fond memories.

The girls start science camp next week. They love Camp Half blood/sword camp so much. So much imagination. They are bummed its over but they did science camp and liked it last summer.

We are scheduled to go to Banff and Jasper National Parks the end of August. We always do our summer vacation then because camps end but school doesn't start. Turns out two other people at work also want that week off. They may tell me no. Which is fine. So far I've only booked cancelable lodging. We will figure out childcare and go the week before. We may end up switching destinations because we will no longer have the extra labor day Monday off. Its a pretty pricey flight so I don't want to go if we don't have enough time. Maybe Columbia? We will make it to Banff someday.

Talked with baby boy's new school OT and PT. They said he's doing great. He's so used to doing therapies that he has no problems going with new people. PT mentioned the inability to slow down is his problem. Not news to us. Let's hope they can help.

Was reading the NYT's article about the study that says children's moving anytime between the age of 10 and 16 has really detrimental long term effects. For obvious reasons loosing your close knit community during that age is difficult. Here in NYC because of school choice kids can go across town for Junior high and then to a totally different location with no one they know for High School. In addition to the (unhealthy, I think) stress of applications, etc I do wonder if it would have the same negative outcomes. Maybe that's just common practice everywhere now? Where I grew up Jr High was everyone you went to Elementary school with and then three other elementary schools. High school was everyone from your Jr High. I def went from Kindergarten through Graduation with many of the same people.

In my circles everyone believes social media is the cause of teenagers mental health problems - which I believe. But I also think kids having so much less freedom contributes. Its tricky in NYC - as I can't send my kids out to their neighbors backyard - but I try to give the girls freedom as much as possible. Baby boys only four but unless his personality changes I think it will be even more difficult to give him freedom.

Here's to hoping Biden drops out in the next few days. Let's all buy the man a drink, give him a big thank you and let him live out his days in peace. Job well done. Lots of room for improvement but overall A+ in my book.

[manari-archives]

emails i can't send fwd: masterlist

note: some of the stories are not inspired by the entire song and only a couple of lines or verses.

001. emails i can't send | CS55

It's times like these, wish I had a time machine So I could see what you did And thanks to you I, I can't love right I get nice guys and villainize them

002. Vicious | CS55

You're lucky I'm a private person I've quietly carried your burden, and Everyone thinks you're an angel But, shit, I would probably use different wordin'

003. Read your Mind | MV1

To think that we could be casual You're not my friend And, baby, you never were Why the fuss if you say you just wanna be mine?

004. Tornado Warnings | LH44

I'll drive you home ,You drive me crazy But that's not gonna stop me I'll call you out, You call me "baby"

005. because i liked a boy | GR63

Tell me who I am, guess I don't have a choice All because I liked a boy You said I'm too late to be your first love, but I'll always be your favorite

006. Already Over | MS47

We been talkin' for hours 'bout how we shouldn't talk for hours on end Kissing after a conversation 'bout how we'd probably be better off as friends

007. how many things | LS18

I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me I wonder how many things you wanna do you think I'm in-between I feel myself falling further down your priorities And I still make excuses for you constantly

008. bet u wanna | DR3

When you don't have control of who I'm holdin' Is it feeding all your fears? Bet you miss me, bet you're reminiscin' I bet you hate the way that you said goodbye

009. Nonsense | MS47

You said you like my eyes and you like to make 'em roll Treat me like a queen, now you got me feelin' thrown, oh I think I got an ex, but I forgot him

010. Fast Times | LN4

Couple days in, I call you "baby" Three stories up here contemplatin' But what the fuck is patience Give me a second to forget I ever really meant it

011. skinny dipping | DR3

But both of us, we'll be thinking about how different we are From those scared little kids that had those Arguments in your garage All the ways we sabotaged it What it was and what it wasn't

012. Bad for Business | LH44

We look good in photographs, I like the way you like to laugh At dirty jokes, I know they'll always land Used to get to work on time, but now you're taking up my nights Never been so glad to be so tired

013. decode | MV1

There's a weight off my shoulders now that I don't chase you Being myself, did that emasculate you? Learning from you that I can walk away too

014. opposite | CL16

Oh so you do have a type? And it's not me Oh so you can reply? Just to not me So y'all are in Paris now? Guess it's public Face like that other girl,You're in love with

015. Feather | CL16

Your signals are mixed, You act like a bitch You fit every stereotype, "Send a pic" I got you blocked, Excited to never talk I'm so sorry for your loss

016. Lonesome | GR63

If I fall in love with all my problems, will they leave me too? Well maybe I believed in all your lies, 'cause I believed in you Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me? I know, you know, it keeps me up

017. things i wish you said | LN4

When I saw you cry, I didn't handle it well Without you here I don't know what to do with myself I hope you know it scared me to death The night that your sister said that you got in an accident

[acesofspadess]

Family Values

a/n: Louis and Harry are baby girl in this

summary: what happens when your family questions your love

It all started in 2011….

“Lou this is about to be the biggest project we’ve worked on.”

You were a family friend of Lou’s and even though she was almost 11 years older than you, you were like sisters and both pursued your careers in hair styling.

“I know but we can’t let them know that. Just act like they are the least of our problems.”

The two girls heard crashing footsteps and the door bursting open. “Are we in the right place?” the first boy asked. “Where supposed to be getting our hair done.”

“Yeah you're in the right place. Come sit.”

“I'm Harry and this Louis.”

“Y/N.”

Through the following years you grew close to all of the boys, but especially Harry and Louis and everyone saw it. It was never spoken upon, just glances between the three of you never going unnoticed. It wasn't until the band went on ‘break’ did conversations start to arise.

“Do you want us the way we want you?”

You knew the ‘larry’ subject was a sensitive topic, purely because management wouldn't allow it. You never understood how they could try and prevent these two wonderful souls from loving who they wanted. 

“We can’t make anything official yet, but I promise, when the time is right.”

Now 5 years after the break, you Louis and Harry were in a committed relationship. You were all doing your own things as of right now. Harry had just started his second tour and Louis was a year into his tour. You were now a designer for Dior.  Before you went official, you would head back home for the holidays to see everyone in your family, reunite and be a ‘proper’ family. But now, it was like walking on eggshells. It wasn't that your family didn't ‘like’ the boys per say. It was the simple fact that there were two of them. You were immune to the questioning glances when one of you would give another or both a kiss, but this Christmas was a whole different story.

You were all sitting around in the large living area of your parents house. The fire was crackling and snow was falling outside, it was the perfect picturesque christmas, until your mother decided to speak up. “You know I used to not understand why you had to pick two boys, but I guess it's so that you can have more children. Maybe they'll have some more common sense, At least you picked two successful boys.'' She laughed quietly at her ‘joke’ and while the majority of your family snickered with her, you, Louis, Harry, and Lou whose family was also there, weren't. “Excuse me, what did you say!?” you were pretty level headed, never one snap when someone attacked you, you simply shrugged it off or spoke to them calmly so as to not escalate the situation anymore.

But this outburst made every mouth close, you were sure you could hear a pin drop. “For one, they have names, Harry and Louis, so stop pretending like you don’t know them. I truly can't believe you, say all you want about me, but keep them out of your mouth. They are nothing but kind to you, they bring you flowers and gifts every time they come, or when Lou and I visit when they can't. What is truly so different in our relationship than you and Pa's? What if there's an extra person? We love each other, just like you and dad. We cherish, and adore, and respect, and make each other the best versions of ourselves, just like you and dad.” you weren't crying. You thought that if this day ever came you would. But you all saw it coming. You had told the boys every time you visited they didn't have to come because something always happened. But they persisted.

“Seriously, y/n. You couldn't have just picked one, the one without the kid.” any hint of the Y/N they knew before was gone, all you saw was red looking at your father. “I cannot believe you just said that. Louis is the best father I know. Way better than you. I don't know what is going through your sick and twisted minds, but we won't be around to find out. We have been nothing but kind and understanding of the difference of our relationship and how it might affect others, but - god- i cannot believe this is what it turned out to be.”

You worked your way out the living area and towards the front where everyone's bags were, wondering why Harry, Louis, and Lou were still in there.

Both boys stood up after you stormed out the room and decided now was the best time to speak. “You may not like our relationship with your daughter, or niece, or cousin, whoever she is to you; but that should never get in the way of your relationship with her.” Harry spoke as he grabbed Louis' shaky hand. “We ask her to come, to try and show you that we can become a family. Never again try to contact her, or any of us. And never again, do I want to hear you say anything about Louis and his fatherhood.” He knew if he said more he would never stop. He looked at Lou who seemed ready to go and walked out to where he knew you would be.

The drive to the hotel after dropping Lou off was quiet, as was the journey up to the room. It was only when they were in the confines of the hotel room did you start to cry. Two warm bodies caught you as you sank to the floor. “I'm sorry,” you repeated over and over again. You wished you could wash away the words your parents spoke to them. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” Louis kissed the top of your head to seal in his words. “Their actions and words do not define you. We love you.” Harry knew exactly what you were thinking. Louis' phone started ringing and when he checked it, it was Liam. They had given Freddy to Liam while they were away as his mom was no longer in the picture.

“I'll call him back later, it's okay.” but you shook your head and wiped your tears. “Answer. It might be Freddy.'' When he clicked accept on the facetime call you saw Freddy closest to the screen and Liam and his son, Bear, behind him. “Hi lad.” The instant joy that was in his voice as he saw his son made you smile and you and Harry quickly moved into frame. “ hi love.” you smiled and waved watching freddy almost drop the phone but Liam catching it. “Who is that Freddy? Say hi.”

“Hi mumma.”

And it seemed everyone froze. You watched Liam do a double take, Harry's arm squeezing your waist a little tighter, and Louis, who had tears in his eyes. The three of you had always talked about what you and Harry would be to Freddy as your relationship blossomed around the time he was born. Freddy had already been calling Harry, Papa H or H, which he had you to blame for calling him that one time as a joke. But he had never said anything about you. 

You all figured it was because he did have his mom until he no longer needed her and she left the picture. You came to realize that Freddys brain was now recognizing you as mom because you were a constant in his life. Or he was just confused.

“Hi Freddy. What are you doing?” you moved on as if nothing happened simply taking it as a slip up. “We're drawing.” His mixed accent of Louis and you and Harry made you smile. “What are you drawing lad?” It was Harry's turn to get over his initial shock. You watched as Liam told Freddy to get his drawing as he looked at the camera with a look you all picked up on as ‘what the fuck?’ Freddy came back into frame with his picture.

He started pointing out who was who and when he got to the brown skinned stick figure (which made you chuckle) he said it again. “And that mumma.” This time everyone knew it wasn't an accident. “That's your mum lad?” Liam asked, still seeing you three in shock. “Yeah, that's Y/N. She's mummy cause I love her and she loves me.” you practically melted and smiled so hard your cheeks hurt.

When the call ended you made Harry and Louis pack their stuff as you wanted to go home and cuddle with your family. And that you did. When Liam opened his door a day later Freddy came running into your arms.

[shitpostingkats]

Hi yes I need you to know that your analysis on Jaden and Yusei (June 16, 2022, idk if you’ve done multiple on them but that’s the one I’m talking about) is the realest thing I have EVER read and you’re so right and you should say it MUCH louder that is the greatest take op it’s amazing and I’m screaming /pos

Jaden is my favorite character like,,,, ever, and you have nailed him I’m going bonkers

Another thing, I love your Groupchat AU but you have made me become aware that there is???? Another???? YGO show????? I was like who on God’s Green Earth is Yudias and then Google attacked me with information. I still remember. When Vrains was new. To me Vrains is still new. It came out 6 years ago. I feel old. I am not okay. I have yet to acknowledge the existence of Sevens and will continue to do so with Go Rush. Oh I got off-topic, whoops-

Anyways, love your Groupchat AU but I saw the one part with the Eldritch language that Jaden and Yuya are both fluent in and I humbly request more of their dynamic???

I had an epiphany last night, they’re so similar I’m actually losing my mind. All I can think about is that one audio of Batman and that girl on the swings and it’s like “They got their weapon, I got cheated out of my childhood” “I know what that’s like.” “You do don’t you?” Tell me that’s not them I am dying /pos

Much love <3

Oh my gosh, thank you! <3

Jaden and Yusei, my beloved blorbit. The painfully monstrous and the painfully human. The narrative foils of all time. Jaden Yuki, the creatchur autism boi of all time. <3 I need to write about them more.

I know what you mean about the new shows. I'm still a ways off from watching them, but I still want to remember they exist but keep forgetting. What do you means vrains is six years old??? (<- was not even a yugioh fan when vrains was airing) You're telling me there's probably going to be new one after that??? That the days start coming and they don't stop coming?????

Shoutouts to the sevens and go rush fans. They are the mightiest of soldiers. I know nothing about their shows but I'm hesitantly penciling them into the groupchat au anyways because I have seen maybe three clips but I know this funny little alien guy is near and dear to my heart.

Obviously there's a bit of a shift between Vrains and the Sevens era, being made for new audiences, a little tone shifting (which we LOVE, because any franchise that stays the same forever is no bueno.) and that makes it easy to group the first six shows into one group. But I also think there's a fascinating dialogue between shows 1-3 and shows 4-6. I didn't realize it until I was a good way into Arc-V, but each of the second trilogy protagonists sorta reflects the first three.

With Yuma and Yugi, it's very purposeful, a stated "return to form" with the chipper kid and his ghost companion who lives in his special necklace. And when I was gushing over Yusei in 5Ds, I got a lot of people saying "Man, you're going to love Yusaku." They're both the rbf hacker protags who fight the government. Lots to love.

But Jaden and Yuya????? Did not imagine I would come out of Arc-V going "omg they're foils. They're the same story through a different lens. They need to TALK to eachother and bond over their shared experiences."

Even leaving out my pet theory of "Zarc Was An Incarnation Of Jaden In The Original Timeline", they're just so. *clenches fist* The childhood trauma of being a weird kids and masking with an overly bubbly personality only to learn the great anger they've been trying to hide is powerful enough to rip apart reality and they're secretly harbingers of destruction.

By the end of GX, I think Jaden has wonderfully come to term with that. By the end of Arc-V, I think Yuya hasn't.

Their dynamic in the gc AU is very much to me Yuya is still struggling with Z-arc stuff, but not saying anything about it because that'd be weird, so he just kinda frets about it until he hits a breaking point and Jaden gets to offer his advice on dealing with all this.

I am so interested in exploring this that it actually got me started writing fic again,,, which I haven't done in like a year, so wish me luck. I'll keep y'all updated :)

Angst aside, they're also just. One braincell between them. Theatre kid and guy who has never once acted natural in his entire life. Kid making a scene at a Waffle House while his friend slowly eats the entire menu and offers suggestions. Jaden is a pokemon fan and Yuya is a kingdom hearts girlie, I've decided this, and they takes turns infodumping to each other. Jaden summons duel spirits so Yuya can ride around on Hiphippo even when he's not dueling. They trade funny things they've heard their dragons say. They're eldritch and inhuman and best friends, your honor.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Not really bored this time, just don't want to work on these questions my history professor has given us so allow me to procrastinate by sending you another ask. I know this pairing isn't really our focus rn but honestly I find the Jake/Neytiri/Tsu'tey thing kind of cute.

For one I totally agree with your 0 romance between Neytiri and Tsu'tey take. I think they are really close friends but could never be romantic partners.

I imagine it's Neytiri who tells Tsu'tey to wake up and realize he likes Jake. She gets tired of him grumbling about him non-stop and is finally like "For Eywa's fucking sake just kiss him already".

For some reason the thought of not just Neytiri but also Tsu'tey reacting to the realization of Jake's betrayal gets me. Like, Tsu'tey had begun to fall in love with this man, but not just any man. A man who is working for the people responsible for killing the love of his life. And after months of building trust and finally thinking that he can let this person in Jake admits to his initially less than innocent intentions. Crushing.

I think that it would take Jake and Tsu'tey longer to mate before Eywa. Not exactly sure when or if Na'vi culture even permits it, but I think they would just because now Jake is Tsu'tey's mate for life as well.

I feel like Tsu'tey would commune with Sylwanin all the time in the beginning and tell her about Jake, especially during the very start when he's just beginning to feel these emotions towards him and feels not only guilt for "betraying" Sylwanin and having feelings for a Sky Person but but also just a yearning to get her advice.

I like the idea that somehow Jake gained the nickname "American Boy" from Tsu'tey one day, probably when he made some correction to a comment Tsu'tey made and was all like "technically I'm American" and Tsu'tey latched onto it. At first it was just used to tease but now it's a fond nickname.

I picture Jake taking them on separate date nights. Neytiri and him fly on their ikrans every friday evening while Jake and Tsu'tey go for evening rides on, like, saturdays after a long week of olo'eyktan duties on Tsu'tey's part (for some reason my mind just associates this man with pa'lis even though I know he has an ikran?? Like???). I like to think that Jake never really manages to vibe with any of the pa'li for the longest time and Tsu'tey enjoys watching the struggle and so he insists on pa'li rides (plus I feel like a part of him would see ikran rides as Jake and Neytiri's "thing" and want to do something different) but after awhile Jake finds one that he just kinda clicks with and by that point pa'li rides have become his and Tsu'tey's thing. Once a month all three of them will do something together too like have dinner or go for a swim or basically whatever else they feel like doing.

Don't even get me started on when the kids come into the picture. I'm fully committed to Neteyam being a mommy's boy with Neytiri and Kiri being a daddy's girl with Jake. Lo'ak is a daddy's boy too, but with Tsu'tey. From day one I picture Lo'ak just deciding that daddy #2 is his favorite person on the planet lol. Jake pretends to be offended, but both him and Neytiri are secretly really happy that Tsu'tey is getting to experience what they're experiencing with Neteyam and Kiri respectively. When Tuk is born she goes back and forth between all three of them with seemingly no preference.

I like the idea of Tsu'tey speaking mostly Na'vi with the kids, Jake speaking mostly English with them, and Neytiri switching in-between. Due to this, it became clear very quickly which parent had more influence on which kid when they began talking. Neteyam's first word? A weird hybrid of the English and Na'vi words for "where" (Neytiri handed him over to Jake and Neteyam reached out towards her retreating form and said "where" as if to ask where she was going). Kiri's first word? "Dada" in English (Jake stepped into their tent and Kiri saw him, perked up, and cried "Dada!"). Lo'ak's first word was "no" in Na'vi (he went through this phase where whenever Tsu'tey would try and put him down or hand him to Neytiri or Jake he would cling to Tsu'tey and say "no" over and over again. If they still managed to get him into someone else's arms he'd start crying and just throw a major fit). Tuk's first word was "'Teyam", which Jake claims doesn't count for anything since it's a name but he sure wasn't saying that when Kiri said dada (they may or may not have turned this into a competition).

When the kids are younger they love it when Tsu'tey takes them on pa'li rides and Neytiri or Jake takes them on ikran rides.

Also, when they are infants Neytiri, Jake, and Tsu'tey apply the "divide and conquer" method to them. Neytiri takes Neteyam, Jake takes Kiri, and Tsu'tey takes Lo'ak. Put them all in baby slings and boom, that's one less problem to worry about. I feel like Kiri outgrows the sling first but it's anyone's guess with Neteyam and Lo'ak.

I fully support the "Norm and Max reopen Grace's school" idea I've seen along with your "language beast Norm" idea. I picture that part of the reason he opens the school is for his 50+ adopted children who he wants to introduce to English but also he just loves sharing knowledge with others. I think he would introduce new things to the school that Grace maybe hadn't considered, like his horrifyingly extensive lecture on looming on Earth as a way to bring in an important part of Omatikaya culture but also educate them on English looming terms and human looming culture.

At first both Neytiri and Tsu'tey aren't all that keen on the idea of the school reopening, but Jake is all for it and they talk about it for weeks before Tsu'tey finally brings the idea to the children of the clan. A surprising number of them (of which Norm's adopted children make up a suspicious majority) agree to give the school another shot and so Tsu'tey and Neytiri agree that letting their kids go would be a good thing.

When it comes to Spider I'm uncertain. I know Tsu'tey would side with Neytiri far more than Jake when it comes to how he sees the boy, but Neytiri lost her sister and father whereas Tsu'tey lost the love of his life so maybe Neytiri would still be the more intense of the two? Feel free to give me your thoughts on it. Part of me wishes they would adopt Spider but I think we both know that with both Tsu'tey and Neytiri in the picture that would never happen.

I love the idea of Tsu'tey and Neytiri both just being so fascinated by Lo'ak and Kiri's little eyebrows and four little fingers. Like, Lo'ak's little baby eyebrows scrunch up and they're all like: "My Jake, look at them 🥺, What does it mean?" And Jake, who sees eyebrows as completely normal is all like: "Haha oh yeah, they do that. Might want to check his diaper."

I like to imagine that when it comes time for the alphabet in Norm's little preschool section of the class Jake gets everyone on board with singing the apples and bananas song. "Okay guys, one more time! I like to ate, ate, ate, ay-ples and banay-nays!"

Norm and his boyfriend definitely babysit for them on date nights lol, and they expect the favor to be returned whenever the situation calls for it.

Tsu'tey still communes with Slywanin a lot, but now there is nothing but happiness in the stories he has to tell her.

This somehow turned into a whole Neytiri/Jake/Tsu'tey as parents thing I apologize 😂

So many things I love about this first paragraph:

First, the boredom era escalating. I love that ur the same anon every time I guess we name u Boredom Anon I'll go backtag. Any anon can feel free to be named lol.

ALSO the idea that we are all on the same thing on this blog at all times, I love that sm I was worried I was forcing you all into a nocorro era. But literally no worries hit me with anything at any time, I love it.

-EXACTLY Neytiri and Tsu'tey can be platonic soulmates.

-Tsu'tey is like THAT'S YOUR MATE and Neytiri's like "Jake has... two hands??? You can hold the other???"

-DUDE TSU'TEY LET HIM IN AFTER SYLWANIN. Jake knows that trusting him was so hard, and the betrayal Tsu'tey must've felt like he'd done to Sylwanin? Insane. Not only did he forget her and move on and fall in love again, but it was with one of the people who caused her death. Yeah Jake wasn't there but he's one of them.

-Absolutely Tsu'tey and Jake would take longer to mate before Eywa, this man does not make impulse decisions like Jake and Neytiri. He had thought through every consequence and every worse case scenario fifteen times. He's probably convinced himself if he even looks at Jake wrong he's Avatar will collapse due to some butterfly effect.

-Oh lol you hit the guilt angle too! Can you tell I'm responding to each one as I read it so my thoughts are all fresh? Sylwanin is very encouraging, to the point that she goes full in in hopes of scaring him into it like "no I bet Jake is good at sex u gotta find out" and Tsu'tey can't go back to the Spirit Tree for like a week.

-I LOVE the separate date nights, that's so cute. How did this man Jake Sully stumble into the forest and just steal Pandora's two most influential and eligible bachelors, what's next, Tonowari??? He's insane. Jake only vibing with one Pa'li is canon and sometimes Tsu'tey has someone take that Pa'li away so Jake is all fucked up.

-THE CHILDREN I'm obsessed. I love the idea of Jake pretending to be offended by Lo'ak preferring Tsu'tey. He's like "that's not your Dad, Lo'ak, I helped make you!" and Lo'ak is like "gross, get away from me." Jake is always insisting this entire operation falls apart if he isn't at the center (of the sleeping pile which is where he sleeps) and then everyone always almost unanimously pretends to vote him out of the family.

-Norm in his school, teaching all the kids to knit and telling them all Tsu'tey needs a sweater: i'm gonna ruin this man's whole career.

-I agree, I don't think we'd get Spider Sully here. I do wonder how him and Lo'ak's relationship is affected if Tsu'tey is Lo'ak's favorite parent and Tsu'tey is against Spider. I don't see Lo'ak not standing up for Spider, and I see this causing a rift between them faster than it would between Neytiri and Lo'ak just because Lo'ak's relationship with his mother is different than with his fathers. I think the issue would've been pushed sooner, and Kiri would jump rIGHT the fuck in as soon as it started.

-HOW DARE YOU ACKNOWLEDGE NORM AND HIS MADE UP BOYFRIEND RITU TO ME I'm crying real tears this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Although, you have given me a thought... Why have we never considered... Tsu'tey surviving and then HIM being Norm's boyfriend....

nEVER apologize for sending me long headcanon asks, wether they are for me to enjoy or just situations you want to to write about or expand on. It's called 'we are mindmelding get in' for a reason, we are all melding minds. I love them sm and I hope I do them justice!

[takendruid]

Saw some art by @calware (I link the post at the end of the read more section) and wanted to draw a few of my ocs in a style similar (in all honesty, it’s my style adapted to the style of the post) 👁️👁️ top - Gery Joanes (Knight of Doom, alpha kids), bottom left - Jimy Weasle (Page of Light, alpha kid), bottom right - Jaid Weasle (Thief of Void, beta kid, also I swear she isn’t called Jaid because of Jade, she’s based on a really old oc I have called Jaiden… who is named after JaidenAnimations. I actually tried to avoid calling her Jaid originally because of Jade Harley, but gave up in the end).

Jaid and Jimy aren’t a Jade and Jake situation, Jimy is literally just trans ftm. There are three alpha boys and one alpha girl. Meanwhile there are two boys and two girls in the beta kids. The oc he’s based on isn’t trans? He’s a cis guy called James… who wasn’t named after theodd1sout, that was a coincidence. There are a lot of unintentional parallels in my kids that line up with the OG kids because I make the decisions before realising it’s similar or parallel to the OG kids. Like Jimy and Jaid’s whole name and gender situation as well as Jimy being a page. Gery is a knight meanwhile his son is a prince (of time), and Gery is the post-scratch version of his son’s abusive dad… his son, who is a time player. One of my kids is a rogue of heart, and he’s an oc based on an oc based on me. The other oc based on an oc based on me is a seer of hope. And I kin Roxy and Dirk… and I classpected myself as knight of hope… so…

also!

- Having page of light and seer of hope! That was unintentional as fuck! Jimy was originally going to be page of breath before I changed him to light (same with my shirt of blood troll btw, originally heir of breath) because I don’t know how to write breath players.

- Jaid being a beta kid propsit thief of void, which directly going parallel to Roxy’s alpha kid derse rogue of void classpect.

- Having the prince and knight be switched between the parent and kid roles, as well as just… Prince of Time.

- Also having an heir of blood in my post-scratch trolls, and my gold blood is a mage like Sollux.

- Also my spider-obsessed teal blood being thief of light was a decision I made prior to even knowing who the fuck vriska was btw.

- Also my opposing aspects sharing the same class but different lunar sways (derse light and prospit void, derse doom and prospit life).

- Having a human derse witch of rage and troll prospit mage of hope, which are opposing all four ways.

- My troll time and space players are both passive classes.

- okay one that was fully intentionally unintentional are my troll light and rage players. Pre-scratch, they’re prince of rage and bard of light. Post-scratch, they’re thief of light and rogue of rage.

- my violet blood is a bard, just like Cronus

- my jade blooded and olive blooded matepsrits have opposing classes…/pos

Now for my alpha trolls:

- I have a derse maid of mind while the mind player of the OG Alpha trolls was a propsit knight of mind

- I have a prince of rage

- players that remain active classes: heart, mind, and void

- players that remain passive classes: time, space, life, and hope

- players that switch: light, rage, and blood

Also I accidentally created a loop that I didn’t even intend to make

Okay maybe I just wanted an excuse to talk about my characters

The post I saw: https://www.tumblr.com/calware/733027758923563008/here-all-are-the-icons-in-the-relationship-chart

[ntrider]

I never get the difference between romantic and platonic feelings. which is odd, because romance is like my thing, y'know? but I just don't see it. a crush is a friend that makes your heart beat faster y'know. like considerably faster. a crush is the kind of friend that makes your cousin look at you and go "oh my god you're in love" and you go "huh????" and they say "you've been pacing back and forth all day, keep smiling at your phone, keep saying nicer and nicer things to people, and you've mentioned someone's name like three times now. you are desperately in love I know what that looks like" and you cannot do anything but to say "you're absolutely right. but that's scary."

but I know that's just my experience. I never got a pressure to find love because. I guess people just assumed I didn't care? I was a weird boy who hanged out with older girls who mostly saw me as Some Kid rather than a colleague. I'm just someone's weird brother. no one looks my way on purpose.

and then I realized I wanted someone to. really DESPERATELY wanted it. and. I sought after that

but it still just feels like friends. friends you might kiss or you might sleep on their bed or you might say I love you every day or you might have sex or you might get married or you might do everything together or you might know each other's families or you might watch and play and read everything together or you might have a child or a pet at your home together or you might whatever the fuck you want to because no one ever believed you were all that interested in other people because they saw you as just some weirdo. so why would you go by their rules now? there's no rules in your world. no one dictates anything about you, aside from that tick tock heart of yours that goes double speed when he shows up. and I've seen those pictures of her in your phone, you have a whole folder. just to stare at it and smile. you're no good at hiding these things. but I'm not sure you ever tried to.

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 6 Tsumihoroboshi pt. 21

I guess this just goes to show the difference between cultures. Keiichi’s reign of terror with a BB gun sounds really inoffensive when you consider how much worse it could be. He could’ve been attacking them with knives or something and not just little stinging pellets. Later on when he tells the story to Mion, Rika, and Satoko he mentions how he accidentally shot a little girl in the eye with one of these BB guns. And while that it is bad I wouldn’t say this is as bad as, to pull an example out of thin air, beating three classmates with a baseball bat.

But Keiichi, ever the Peter Parker of this setting dons the mantle of the villain and accepts this dressing down from Rena as the least punishment he deserves. Which really, when you think about it, unless he was specifically going after like really little kids, five and below, this is a massive overreaction. It was such a serious crime no one pressed charges, and he got no official punishment when he turned himself in. So his desire here to have Rena just lop his head off with her hatchet seems a like a bit of an extreme overreaction.

Keiichi then thinks to himself about how he would probably be a touch afraid of Rena if he knew about how she did something bad before moving back to Hinamizawa. It’s not mentioned that he remembers the information he was given in chapter one yet, but he does settle on the idea that even if she assaulted her friends, or broke classroom windows he wouldn’t care. Because it’s the past you see.

You know, it just occurred to me how there really hasn’t been any screenshots, designs or anything of characters looking at things with absolute disgust. There’s been murderous rages, anger, but no pure disgust. I guess Rena has gotten pretty close with some of her looks in the remake art style, but I just feel a lack of disgust or contempt. Not even necessarily directed at the narrator/camera, I just mean generally. I guess maybe Rika got pretty close to what I meant as well during her showdowns with Shion and Rena.

This might just be wild speculation on my part but part of me assumed that the two cute girls Keiichi’s dad saw here was Rika and who we eventually come to know as Hanyuu. I have no idea why I think this is the case but I do. I think maybe I was trying to contrive a cosmic reason for why Keiichi and his family moved to Hinamizawa, and so I settled on Keiichi’s dad was beguiled by the god children to move there. It could be Mion and Shion for all I know, but just based off the description of “a beautiful face with a clear-cut profile for her age” it made me think that this was Rika and Hanyuu. Which that would be a whole different can of worms, because if that’s the case how could Keiichi’s dad see Hanyuu, etc.

The next day Keiichi decides to confess to his friends that he was a naughty boy and shot kids with BB guns back in his old home town. The stress of living up to his parents and teachers’ academic pressures got to him you see, so he took a keen interest in BB guns (for some reason I keep wanting to call them air soft guns) and one day he decided to start taking his anger out on randos by shooting them with the guns. Eventually he felt incredibly guilty, because he accidentally shot a little girl in the eye with a BB.

That’s 70s parenting for you! Slap the shit out of your disobedient child!

They’re all surprisingly levelheaded about this. Mion and Rika it makes sense that they’d want to keep their secrets, one being a mob boss and the other being over a hundred. Satoko though? I figured if anyone would have an issue with Keiichi victimizing children it’d be her.

I have a shirt with this quote on it. I think it’s mis-attributed to Shion though. I bought it a long while ago, long before I started reading Higurashi at any rate.

I was quite pleasantly surprised that this was the outcome to Keiichi’s confession. I was fully expecting the VN to play it for drama and for the three of them to start eyeing Keiichi with suspicion. So the fact they more or less shrugged their shoulders and went “and?” was a very pleasant surprise. Cause they’re right, what really matters is that you as a person are striving to be better than you used to be. It’s a very nice message that I don’t think it tries to oversell by acting like this is a divine message Keiichi received. Just his friends giving him the solid advice that, yes what you did was kind of shitty, but you don’t have to let that define who you are forever. Also you really don’t have to tell everything that you did in the past to your friends. Sometimes you can just keep that to yourself, you don’t have to blab it to all and sundry.

Another thing I like about this scene is the very subtle call back to the start of the series. At the very start of Onikakushi Keiichi is half asleep listening to some couple having an argument with the guy being very cross with this girlfriend. He mentions that no matter how bad the mistake, there’s nothing that can’t be forgiven. Satoko saying “what’s the point of living if we can never earn redemption?” I think is a very subtle reference to that.

[real-odark]

25apcsb enjoyers listen to me talk about(/kind of review it for you? except not really because i will never say anything bad about this production) my favorite production of the show!

ever.

MAD theater i LOVE YOU.

i saw their production live (the first time ive ever seen this show live or a production by this company) and it was AMAZING. this is my favorite cast for this show hands down and let me show you some stuff and why you should love them, too !!

(IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ME TALK ABOUT IT/WOULD RATHER SEE THE CAST, I HAVE PICTURES AND A VIDEO NEAR THE BOTTOM OF THE POST!!)

here are all of the spellers! arent they the cutest :3 they all portray their characters PERFECTLY, and im currently on a hunt to see all of them in more performances because WOW . i know the point of the show is for it to be obvious these arent preteens playing them but all three of the girls were so cute honestly id trust them if they said they were it was so good. im gonna talk about all of them too !;;

their leaf was obsessed with sonic (sporting a nice sonic cape), and had a very good dynamic with every character and audience member he interacted with ! he say by me when he was eliminated and we talked a bit, and met his actor after the show. ALSO, playing logainne's dad with his soda and being the soccer mom ever is 100% approved by me . the way he effortlessly exchanged between the two roles was . AH.

olive was PERFECT. i cried at the i love you song so bad her little pom poms and im just mhejkn, her fidgeting with the strings of her cat hoodie whenever she was nervous was a great detail just small things like that

CHIP. chip chip chip. boy scout of the year, and JESUS ON A SCOOTER. he was so sassy and his little shenanigans made this character so good hed bite his lip and do little faces like that all the time he never broke id trust this man with my life

barfee , so nerdy i cannot resist this guy. he looks like he smells like hamburger and you know what? perfect. meeting him afterwards, he said that his shoes (for magic foot) were glow up sketchers and both of them were supposed to glow but only ONE did (the other broke) a few nights before and what a champ because he just went with it and CHANGED THE FOOT HE WAS USING to match the one that glew. i wouldve had a breakdown but go richard brown. through the whole show his bad accent and wet dog looks intrigued me

marcy was literally perfection, she had ME stressin out for her. i was sitting by the actresses' grandma and she was so fond of her its so cute. her singing voice is AMAZING there is a clip online i know of its on the theatre's tiktok but to hear that in person when its the song that got me into the show was wow. i relate to her very much and she made this character so personal even with just being in bits and pieces of the show

and finally, logainne. god she was SO FUNNY. the interactions between her and her dads, as well as the other spellers, were hilarious but also so real feeling. her actress, taylor,'s dedication to this role really showed and it worked awesome in the character. her appearance and outfit is the BEST for logainne btw??? no ones talking bout that its so so her ...,

^ also since i mentioned leaf's water bottle, logainne had a pride one + barfee had a pokemon cup. i think olive had one but if she did it was in the bleachers so i couldn't see, but i love how all of their bottles (yes even something just SMALL LIKE THAT) represent their characters the details in this show are sjsjd

here is a picture with the adults too! ill talk abt those three next;;

rona. again, had me crying in the stands. she was adorable the whole show though, with her little quips and interchanges !! her + panch were so funny and also shes GORGEOUS?? but her soccer mom teacher type deal is exactly what i picture rona as.

panch reminded me very very much of ron swanson. he was so sarcastic and hes just such a big guy with all these kids it played off so well !! i love so many different interpretations of panch like twink panch and butch panch, but i think this burly panch with his soft, creepy side for rona was my favorite !

and now, lastly, mitch. HE KEPT BUSTING OUT AS THE SIDE CHARACTER WITH THE AMAZINF SINGING VOICE AND IT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD EVERY TIME ??? mitch himself was so so awesome, the tattoos and drug apparell (i am struggling spelling that) fit so well. and also, he just looks so mitch mahoney doesnt he?? like. the character fits the actor so well id be shocked seeing anything else from them because mitch was the perfect role... again, his brief dynamic with all the kids is so goofy

the set;;

it was so cute and the details in the posters on the wall were so childish it made me giggle. they even advertised their theatre's next production, which will be urinetown!! they had seats ON the stage (which is where i sat, naturally), which i think makes for a fun and realistic effect !! when the spellers were eliminated, theyd sit there (they had reserved spots) :3

its evident that all of the cast members had very good relatioships and play off that REALLY well

a little photo dump of them!! on the MAD theatre social medias, they have more and clips of them, too!! id definitely reccomend checking them out because the show's closed :3

overall; i have so much love for this cast and MORE PEOPLE NEED TO AS WELL!!! so here you go 😊😊

[elisysd]

Epilogue

Masterlist - Previously

Five years later

The little girl ran as fast as she could in the alleyways of the busy paddock, her blond hair flying around her head. No one really paid attention to what she was doing, used to her antics. Her smile intensified when she saw her favorite human on earth talking to his fiancée.

“Uncle Ethie!” She screamed, attracting his attention immediately.

Ethan smiled broadly, bending down to welcome her in his arms.

“Miss Anna Dawson, what are you doing all alone here? Does your dad know?”

“He is busy smooching mama before she goes in her big car.” The little girl laughed burying her head in his neck.

“I’m still going to give him a call. And where is your brother, he is usually following you around.”

“Ziggy is right here.” said Julia as she was approaching the duo with an equally blond little boy.

Ethan looked at her lovingly. Seeing her with a kid in her arms always made him feel warm inside. When Kyle and Romy asked them both to be the godfather and godmother of their twins, they had not hesitated for long. Ethan loved the kids like if they were his own and Julia loved Ethan when he was surrounded by kids. It had been a tough topic between them, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be a mom. She didn’t think they had the space in their life to have one. And Ethan was still running after his first world championship title. So, for now they were fine with babysitting the kids. They had all the perks and got to be the fun uncle and aunt while they gladly let the problems to the parents.

“We still should go to your father. I’m not sure he’ll notice that you left anyway but I don’t want to be the target of your mom’s wrath on the track.”

“Because she will go vroom in your ass!” Replied Anna, making Julia erupt in laughter.

“Exactly. I don’t fear your dad, he couldn’t make the difference between a tree and myself to save his life. But your mom, I don’t want her to be angry at me.”

They managed to make their way with the kids to Audi’s garage, where Kyle was sitting on a chair, taking care of two babies while his wife was preparing for the last race of the season. 

“We found your two rascals running around.” said Ethan, putting Anna on the floor as Romy took Ziggy out of Julia’s arms, kissing the top of his head. 

“They are going to drive us crazy, one day.” sighed Romy. “You little ones have to stay with daddy! How many times have we told you?”

“Sorry mama…” replied Ziggy.  

Julia wished good luck to Romy before hugging her briefly as Ethan followed her, his hand in hers, playing with her ring. 

“How do you feel?” he asked. 

“Stressed out. But it's a nice stress. We’ve worked so hard to achieve it that now it’s here, it’s a mix between realization and dreams.”

“You deserve it. It just feels weird to know that you’re the first one in our couple to bring home a championship title. I thought it would be me.”

Two years ago, Julia had decided to take a step back from Somnis, giving the lead to Jackie after three years of hard and intense work. She was proud of what she had been able to do and she was happy to see more feminine faces in key departments and in garages. And when her dad had asked her if she would like to come back to Ferrari as Martin’s race engineer, she had been shocked. Ever since that fateful day in Spa, five years prior, she had decided to not go back there. She had definitely quitted her position at Ferrari, to fully focus on her charity which was growing by the minute. She had found a new purpose and liked to work in the paddock without being linked to one team.

Ethan was still chasing his dreams in Lamborghini which had faced a few setbacks in the past after Kyle had decided to leave. He had spent days and nights in the factory trying to help as much as he could and this year, finally he had been able to fight for the title. But Ferrari had managed to build an incredible car, this year after revamping their whole engineering department, under the impulse of Julia who had pushed for more diversity and inclusivity leading Ferrari to become the first team to have as many men and women working in key departments. Something she was proud of. 

But she had been leaving the foundation between good hands with Jacky, she had known it and after a huge talk with Ethan about what it would mean for them, they had reached an agreement. It hadn’t taken long, Ethan being fully supportive of her career, as she was with him. And over the years, the rivalry that once was there between the Polish driver and Ethan  had come to an end. 

“I’m proud of you too, you know. Mister the Vice-Champion.” Julia smiled, bumping her nose against his as he chuckled before catching her lips. 

“Next year, we reverse positions. I’m world champion and you’re vice. I mean Martin…”

“Keep dreaming.”

“Hey lovebirds! Julia, dad’s searching for you.” Louis appeared.

“Well, duty is calling…” she sighed. “Tell him I’m on my way.”

“He also asked me to tell Ethan that he was of course invited to Ferrari’s celebrations.”

“Celebrations that I wouldn’ miss for anything in the world. I want to see my fiancée in a nice dress.” Ethan replied as Louis shook his head before waving and running to the Ferrari’s hospitality. “Well, it’s time for us to get in positions.”

“I’ll wait for you at the end of the checkered flag.” she whispered, kissing his lips one last time. 

“Until the very end?” he asked.

“Until the very, very end.”

Author's note: Well, what a ride it had been. To be honest, I don't know where to start. I want to thank all of you who read this fic until the very last word. Thank you for allowing Julia and Ethan to have a place in your week. You have no idea how much that means to me. Now, it's time to say goodbye to them. At least for a short while as starting next week, 10 short bonus chapters will make their way to you. I'm impatient for you all to discover what their future look like and maybe it's not entirely what you think it will be. An adventure is slowly ending but will be soon replaced by another one. Another fic, different from what I've written in the past, a little break from the Cruel Summer Universe, before comng back to it later this year with the story of Romy and Kyle. You will know more about this new project soon, don't worry, so stay tuned.

Thank you again for everything.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator