#id love to not have to worry about this shit but unfortunately i dont get to choose what traumatizes me or how people treat me
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lightningfilledsaber · 2 years ago
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LOL I love how I haven’t gotten a chance to recover from the Christmas Spiral after all the issues w my car as I’m quickly being plummeted into the Shared Birthday Spiral
#mud rambles#this is vague as hell but to elaborate just a little#as we all know i hate christmas for a lot of reasons#mostly i have trauma and generally uncomfortable/shitty feelings centered around christmas#and as for the Birthday Thing#my incestual abuser's birthday is coming up soon and that just so happens to also be my ex best friend's birthday#because fuck my life#so before. the day had been pretty balanced out bc before everything I had someone i loved and who i THOUGHT cared about me to celebrate#on that day instead of having to think about my incestual abuser#and now this is gonna be the first year since at least like 8? that not only am I gonna have to fully deal with that#but now i have the added pain and trauma of not having my best friend anymore!#so the day compounds into bday of my incestual abuser and bday of the person i thought i was gonna be with for the rest of my life but#instead they decided to treat me like nothing. not in the same way as my abuser but yknow. both have treated me like nothing#theyre not abusive for what they did (ex bsf) but it doesnt change that what happened was fucking traumatizing#id love to not have to worry about this shit but unfortunately i dont get to choose what traumatizes me or how people treat me#i only get to choose how i react#shit sucks. it's hard. ive been trying not to think about it but so much has been fucking ass for me lately#and the timing of this shit is just. lovely. when this year marks a full fucking decade since my dad died#but hey! at least i wont have to deal with insensitive ass comments from their girlfriend on fathers day like last year!#i dont regret cutting either of them off for a second i just regret giving so much of myself to them#i regret giving them the power to hurt me like they did#i know i talk about this shit A LOT but like. what the fuck else am i supposed to do when i cant get therapy#to deal with the fact that my best friend of what? 7 years? treated me like fucking garbage and enabled their girlfriend to do the same#im not sorry for talking about it anyway. especially because this is the ONE place i can#i talk to my partner but like. I cant traumadump every single time i think about this shit so. this is the alternatibe#idk im just really. so sick of it. idk what i need to do to feel better#i get better for a bit but then shit happens and i ruminate because what the fuck else can i do#the one good thing about this stupid month is my lil bros birthday but im also sad because idk if he's gonna be able to visit =(
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gracetoldmeto · 1 month ago
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really long rant: why am i so scared of everything?
note: the rest of this post was a draft i made a few days ago, and was going to let rot forever, but today has messed me up so much i just said *why not* and posted bc idk... why not...
im not like 'BOO!!! jumpscare' scared just like... there are so many things in life that could go wrong that are entirely out of your control and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, because shit happens and sometimes that shit is BAD and permanently fucks you over for life and thats just the way it is bc fate is a game of chance (this is my dramatic ass way of saying 'a forever change') but everyone says "oh if you cant control it then why worry?"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?
NO. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS I DO WORRY.
I could die tomorrow. I could get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow. Someone (else) I love could die (again) tomorrow. Maybe my house could burn down tomorrow. Maybe in some freak accident everything I've ever known is taken from me... somehow?
can i control any of this? no.
so what do i do about it??? anything i can to minimize the fallout just in case...
bc isnt that just called RESPONSIBILITY???
ie: house fire? -> ok. insurance.
medical? -> insurance.
death? (that isnt mine) -> stable income
(note #1: this is about the point in my writing of this post where i dont even have the motivation to finish it bc i just wanna sit down and cry... but i might as well)
so OKAY, guess what? i did something about all those possibilities, so my anxiety should be relieved, right? fear gone! all okay now!
WRONG!
all that structure ive created bc its the "rEsPoNsiBLe" way to live, is a slow painful depressing death of my mental health at the hands of my job
yes, id rather gain an inch than lose a mile, small sufferings over large,
but oh my god is that all life is? small sufferings???
if i keep only suffering one inch at a time im going to end up killing myself and i dont quite think anyone truly GETS that except my therapist
this isnt like high school where i knew jack shit about mental health, i know what help is out there, whether or not it works is a totally different story
(note #2: i have looked at my options, ive read the rules, and id actually rather take my metaphorical little plastic car you get at the start of The Game of LIFE boardgame and throw it out a fucking window)
im past the point of easy help and unfortunately the conclusion i keep coming back to is a quote from a fic i wrote last year...
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whatever THIS life is, regardless of how much i worked my ASS off for it, i dont want it anymore
(note #3: i dont even think id be in this spot if i didnt have shit luck)
i am equally fucked by either...
1) being responsible, financially safe, insured, but sad af at my job and actively praying something kills me in my sleep
OR
2) quitting my job with no plan and being scared that fate is gonna fuck me over for the upteenth time and this time i wont be able to bounce back or (lets be real) even have a want to (but thats a discussion for another time)
this is no way to fucking live, yet here i am
why am i scared of everything? well, yes i know WHY (bc from personal experience i know what can go wrong)
why am i scared of everything? because you cant be scared of something if you dont know it exists BUT in order to be prepared and responsible it means you have to acknowledge that YES IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU
so how the hell am i supposed to be responsible when i hate what comes with it???
"hey alex, what do you wanna be when you grow up? (1) sad or (2) scared?"
actually neither, id rather simply not exist
why am i scared of everything? because how else am i supposed to act?
why am i scared of everything? because actually, there is no answer to this... there is no reason... its just another shit thing in life that iunno how to deal with
why am i scared of everything? because the universe said so and so thats how it is
and i fucking hate it
.
...ok thats all im gonna go make a quesadilla now
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wibblyparfait · 4 months ago
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(props up arm on desk) hii,,,,,, Nanaco in a Situation huh,,,,,,,,,,,,
Limbus Company is unfortunately still on my brain sometimes. so heres to finally drawing up all the Nanashi IDs & EGO thats been plaguing my brain 👍
transcript + extra notes under the cut cuz if oomfie has to hear all my Nanashi thoughts then so do u 🫵 SHFNDNF
LCB Sinner Nanashi
to Coral:
-> Studying Coral under a microscope -> (Slowly trusting,,,)
to himself:
-> In-TOWER arc (note: think any time before the final conversation in the Core. hes on the road to trusting Coral & the other Hanoi but still thinks he'll have to go back to the Toros eventually 😔) -> Please god let me have 1 normal ID -> Embarrassed by [his] Butler & BS [IDs] -> distressed by [his] CoG, R Corp & Capo [IDs]
Black Silence Nanashi
to Coral:
-> sunshine loml ily c'mere & let him pamper u NOW -> in charge of deconditioning N Coral (note: oomf has an AU of Coral as an N Corp Kleinhammer, in my brain since BS Nanashi has his shit together he is also the main person thats trying to reteach N Coral self-love oogh 🥹)
to himself:
-> Post-TOWER t1 arc -> married hubby <3 (note: if it wasnt obvious. Nanashi & Coral take the place of Roland & Angelica in their world. dont worry about how doomed they are by the narrative, theyre both still alive by the time of this ID so they dont have to worry yet <3) -> literally living his best life -> mending heart, knows hes loved & channeling that recovery into malewifing <3
Church of Gears Worshipper
to Coral:
-> indifferent (at first) -> & then sees Coral as "his purpose" devotion (note: Coral would obviously not want this Nanashi to just follow along with everything hes told & not think for himself. and once that point gets thru to COG Nanashi, he expresses his sentiment by calling Coral his purpose & asking to hang out with him 🥹 FDHGD!!!!!!!)
to himself:
-> arc where he also loses the last bit of hope he never knew he had o)-( (note: in this world Nanashi meets Coral & co early n thus tries to run away from the Toros to stay with them, but by the time he gets back to them, they're so messed up by The City in one way or another that seeing them like that pushes him into losing all hope & joining the Church of Gears. so he can finally find Somewhere he won't be actively miserable in anymore. but. well☹️ DFKGJFDG)
4th Pack Reindeer
to Coral:
-> The only ID that allows being pampered back (note: clearly most of these IDs are centered around Nanaco. and we all know how much Nanashi spoils Coral without accepting pay. but maybe this one will allow being cooked some fluffy instant pancakes every so often 🥹) -> Doesnt Take Shit Tho. Get Pampered Idiot. (note: R Corp Nanashi doesnt have the time nor energy to hear Coral's usual polite excuses. as long as Coral allows being pampered, then he Will carry him over his shoulder like a sack of rice so he can bring him to a kitchen & cook him a full course meal :) FGJDGFD!!!!!!)
to himself:
-> Fragile. -> Needs the mutual care from R Coral to stay sane o(-( (note: Coral is part of the Rabbit Team in this world ☹️ between the Hatchery & the usual contracts they get, they both cope by trying to spoil each other in their down time uuu,,,)
Thumb Capo
to Coral:
-> omg hihi haiiiiii (WILL kill/die for Coral :() -> except N Coral o)-( (for now.) (note: usually in Limbus worlds Coral is pretty high up in the social ladder, so Capo Nanashi unfortunately rly rly respects him ☹️ but since in N Corp Kleinhammers are at the bottom. oof ☹️. Capo Nanashi is rly tough on that Coral & sets a bunch of rules on him n that Makes Me Sad ☹️. KJGDF)
to himself:
-> sheep arc (note: thats just what i call Sweetie Sleeps. so yeah this Nanashi is if his Sweetie Sleeps version came true ☹️.) -> coping [with] Toro horrors by accepting it all & enthusiastically enforcing rules o(-(
Brown Family Butler
to Coral:
-> Its just my job to take care of u (malewifes x1000000)
to himself:
-> Pre-Toro arc -> Met his Coral [before] he lost all hope -> No rizz. just an autistic stare & dog-like worship that makes u question ur morality (note: this quote was absolutely stolen cuz i saw it on another oomf's post & it made me laugh. hi Sen oomf. DFKGJDGD)
Roseate Desire
to Coral:
-> sunshine love of my life reason i exist & mender of my heart ily ily ily ily- -> rare Nanashi that WANTS to be pampered (note: once again we know how Nanashi usually feels about being paid back for his work. but this is probably the one Nanashi that just wants to curl up in Coral's lap & hear him say nice things about him DFKGHFD 🥹)
to himself:
-> 𝐹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎 ♡ -> Deepest desire is just to be valued o(-(
Seven Association Fixer
to Coral:
-> U're gonna forget how to sleep if u keep drinking coffee >:( (makes Coral's regular order right before he walks in) (note: in this world Coral is just a regular at the cafe the Seven runs DFKJDGD)
to himself:
-> Intelligence officer arc -> Rly good at his job, but likes the barista work the most <3 (note: also this Nanashi is the rare Seven fixer that likes coffee. not as much of a freak about the specifics of coffee brewing as Faust is with tea, but he probably enjoys himself a good espresso ^-^ KFDJGD)
Feral Mane
to Coral:
-> big skittish creature that loafs on & scruffs one (1) person (note: imagine him like a big scared lion. except around Coral, who he will drag by the back of his collar like a cat carrying a kitten ^-^ KGFDFG)
to himself:
-> Nanabeast -> Mittelhammer forced into corrosion experiments o(-(
Regret
to Coral:
-> Coworkers probably (note: this is the Nanashi ive thought about the least. imagine Nanashi meeting Coral in the real world while doing Toro work. of course he wouldnt have time to fall in love ☹️ DFJGFD)
to himself:
-> Walpurgis lobcorp ID -> Too busy fighting for his life to be sappy -> Maybe gets eaten by Nothing There idk (note: basically his fate in a lobcorp AU oops. hope Coral enjoys finding out about that 😔 FDKGFD)
Dimension Shredder
to Coral:
-> Very cuddly & touchy (hasnt had sane human contact in forever o(-()
to himself:
-> Guy that made "keep Coral safe" his sole purpose for 7625040532 years (note: to varying success. because by the end of the journey he's either a pile of guts that murders everything Except Coral, or talks to Coral's guts as if hes still alive ☹️ ue.)
in conclusion. good fucking god Nanashi never leaves my brain 🥹 DHDFGDFDG
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 4 months ago
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what if you give us like insite on your oc and katsuki's relationship? (this is totally not because I wanna have our ocs meet over a cup of coffee and talk about their versions of the feral blondie) I think your oc is very silly. Also, is there any other ocs you have that exist in the mha universe or other animes?
much love - Kovu
hey moot !! so this is SOOOOO long overdue i have a lot of long overdue stuff in my inbox super sorries :((( but id LUVVVV to tell you more about my oc and katsuki while im at ittt :DD tysm for asking !!! thank you btw ! i think your ocs are very silly too !
katsuki n ryoko's relationship !!
katsuki n ryoko met in childhood when they both were just kids (OF COURSSEE) keep in mind this is very cheesy but i am nothing if not a sappy cheesy lovesick moron ! so no regrets for me >:3
ryoko came to school like in the middle of the year, and the moment she got introduced it was love at first sight lol😭 YESS YESS BOOO TOMATOES TOMATOES I DONT CAAARRREEE !! i love love love wins over all 😌💗 so basically he wants to talk to her immediately, but also even back then he was emotionally constipated and had no idea how to introduce himself normally. ryoko never met any other kids her age formally before then, so she was always sitting alone and reading and katsuki would randomly come up, comment on the book shees reading, get embarrassed, and then leave 😭
"...whatcha reading ?" ryoko gets nervous to talk to new people, so she shows him the book title. and after he looks at it for a good ten seconds he mumbles out a "that one sucks" and runs away, leaving her a little shocked😭
she got kinda used to him doing this every day, and slowly but surely he starts staying a bit longer and the longer they talk the more boasty baby katsuki shows up and then he's back to his loud behaviour. he gets her to introduce herself to his friendgroup, w izuku in it. (hes a wee bit jealous that she actually ends up liking izuku a lot)
katsuki is the first person that came to talk to her, so he's very close to her heart, and he's her favourite !! fun fact ! the rpp series is pretty much based on their relationship !! anyways they start dating somewhere towards the end of their second year in middle school, cus katsuki acts more subtle in his bullying of izuku when shes around cus he knows she will get mad and not talk to him,, and two izuku is her best friend too (much to his chagrin cus HES her numba one bff tf😑) and they've been together ever since !!
2. do i have any other oc's in the verse !
i do !! and they (mostly) all have s/o's bc i am a very hopeless romantic 😭 !!
first i have himari 'mari' hamasaki ! shes dating shouto, and no worries their relationship has a bit more depth than katsuryo 😭😭 !! but theyre cuties and i love them ! her mom was a pro hero called voltri who passed away when she was 7 and her father is a famous hero gear inventor ! their relationship isn't the best unfortunately.. mari has a mecha related quirk !!
next up !! kyosuke nishiyama !! he's himaris older cousin ! and by older i mean by like..two days lol, but he loves holding that over her head cus hes a little shit like that😭 they love to act like they hate each other, but theyre very close, so they just call themselves (and his other siblings) brother and sister, and not to mention they look a lot alike, so ppl don't rlly question it much ! he has a chain related quirk like kurapika ! his dad is a business man/ househusband and his mom is also an inventor :3 ah, and he has a boyfriend (who is my friends oc !!)
keisuke and kensuke nishiyama are kyosukes older brothers !! kensuke is 22 and in college to be an inventor, and keisuke is 19 studying criminal psychology :D ! keisuke has a girlfriend also not girlfriend called furaha i say gng bc he's built awkward asf and had no idea she was in love with him and he with her, but they'd make out and kiss n act like a couple contstantly until he realized he liked her 😭 !! furaha is a congolese exchange student from canada !! lil funfacts for them kensuke is a stoner (lol) keisuke is a speedrunner, and furaha can do her own hair !! (im jealous)
amara 'gogo' kanyinda and omari 'king' kanyinda are both siblings ! omari is the leader of an underground crime syndicate and amara is an assassin in that syndicate ! (much to omaris displeasure) omari n amara were both in an abusive household and since omari is older, he escaped first and told amara he'd come back to get her when he got his shit together, and he did !!! they act like they hate each other too, but omari would rlly do anything for his sister and he's a major softie ! they're both congolese ! omari's nickname king comes from the fact he's the boss of the syndicate and because of his attitude, because his personality is kinda shitty LOOL😭😭 also he has a dog named guts !! (yes hes a manga nerd)
i don't have a quirk for him yet unfortunately 🤧 tho im thinkin of a super strength one ! amara's quirk is called ball n' chain ! she has the ability to control and manipulate a ball and chain made of energy, it extends from a central point, typically the hands but she prefers to use her legs ! she can manipulate it telepathically, can control the length and thickness of it and can imbue the chain with energy so she can cut through objects or give an extra impact ! gogo is the nickname she got from her friends bc her quirk is similar to gogo yubari's ball n chain from kill bill ! and she liked it sm she ran with it :3 amara has a boyfriend (who is my friends oc) !! they're very in love and i love them more than my entire life.
these are all my main ocs i talk about the most !! i tried not to ramble tooo much !! 😭😭 my bad if i did
much luvv xxx tysm for reading if you did !!
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lotus-lamps · 7 months ago
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yippee intro post (ALSO COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!!!)
okay last one was a PAIN to read so im rewriting it lmao
-> COMMISSION INFO <-
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heyyyy its me lotuslamps, but you can also just call me lotus or cozm. dont worry about pronouns, i dont care. i do happen to be a minor though, so id rather not interact with nsfw blogs, thanks.
reposts are allowed (on other sites) WITH CREDIT. you can also use my art for non commercial purposes, like pfps.
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this blog will mostly be my art, but i might occasionally drop a shitpost, textpost or reblog here and there.
#lotus drawdles is my art tag. ...not sure if all my art actually shows up when you click the link though. oh well.
sigh. you can have #cozm textpost too i guess. lmao
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im a multifandom (+ my ocs) artist with no schedule at all, so its not unusual for me to not post for months. what i draw for varies often, so if you wanna follow me, i recommend you do it for my art style rather than the specific fandom i drew for. your call though.
MY FANDOMS:
alien stage (current)
link click
jujutsu kaisen
bungo stray dogs
project sekai
sky cotl
oneshot
madoka magica
kill la kill
hollow knight
vocaloid
animation vs animator
undertale/deltarune
cult of the lamb
the lower it is on the list, the less likely you'll see art of it here, more or less.
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my askbox is always open, send whatever shit you want lol. i'll try to answer them all if theyre not too personal, and if they are ill just give you a meme or something instead lmao.
art requests are open right now too, you can ask for whatever as well. it might take a while though. i'll draw whatever I'm interested in. no oc stuff, sorry. thats reserved for my commissions.
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SOCIALS:
carrd: https://lotuslamps.carrd.co/#
discord user: cozmiccupcakes
ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LotusLamps
ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/lotuslamps
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lotus.lamps/ <- less used than tumblr
X/twitter: https://x.com/Lotus_Lamps <- honestly never thought i'd get this but alas.
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thats all. i think. okay random fact time lets goooo
i like birds, eating food, sleeping, listening to music, doodling, and daydreaming. i dont like procrastinating (lie. kinda) but unfortunately im a professional and have a degree in it lmao.
speaking of music. my favorite artists are maretu, jack stauber, kikuo, AURORA, karikibear, ghost and pals, and wotaku.
also debussy goes hard lowkey. please dont take that out of context it sounds weird LMAO. yeah i play piano. sometimes i make my own music too.
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hm. thats really all, this time. i think. wow this is longer and probably just as hard to read as the last one lmao.
okay then. have a good day/night/whenever. take breaks, drink water, live your best life. you're loved. see you :)
right. hope you like my blog or something. lol
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hughiecampbelle · 2 years ago
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hi!! id love if you could ship me with a succession character :) thanks for doing this and i love your writing !!
i have long curly hair, am 1.67m/6'5"ft and from brazil. im a psychology major and im thinking of going into research and possibly teaching (in universities) eventually. i have autism and adhd, i speak 2 languages fluently (pt-br & english) and know a bit of spanish and i love intellectual conversations. im a somewhat quiet person but i like learning and sharing knowledge so i can get excited and into a conversation quite easily. i like routine and organising things and i kind of a worrier, i think too much about the future and am seldom "present". i hate parties and nightclubs, dislike attention, am a quite private person and prefer to be alone (also i NEED time alone or i go crazy) or with a small group of people. also im a ravenclaw in case it wasnt obvious lol (unlikely).
im very nerdy, im a star wars, doctor who, lord of the rings etc fan and i also love video games (currently playing witcher 3 and stardew valley <3). i love musicals and i listen to many different genres, but mostly alternative and pop.
i dont feel the need for luxurious things and big houses and expensive cars, my dream house is a small 1 room apartment with a balcony in a big city (like london or barcelona). my dream life would probably be said apartment, a cat, a job that i liked and being able to wake up and have breakfast in my balcony just listening to the birds sing and watching the people walking on the street. i like anonymity and just being another face in the crowd, being able to just observe the world around me; which is probably one of the reasons im so drawn to big cities.
in terms of my type, i love smart people that can hold interesting and deep conversations. i also dislike rude people and immaturity and stupidity annoy me a bit (i dont mind it in friends but i think that if i spent too much time with someone like that id murder them lol). i smoke weed but i dont feel the need to date someone that does as well, since i dont do it that often – and its the only drug i do.
hope this isnt too much or not enough djcjsksk anyway thanks again !!! have a good day :)
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Hi my love! I ship you with: Shiv Roy!!!
She loves how nerdy you are. Every time she sees something about Lord of the Rings or Doctor Who or Star Wars she thinks of you. It could be something little like a key chain or something bigger like an all-night screening of the Star Wars movies, it always makes her smile. She's not the biggest fan of it, but when you're watching she can't help but enjoy it. She loves how excited you get when you talk about it, about your favorite characters or the plot. It brightens her day. She also loves how smart you are. Shiv is surrounded by idiots, mostly her brothers and father. To be able to come home and use her brain and have a stimulating conversation with you, it brings a smile to her face. You're incredibly intelligent and she can't get enough of it. You have worked so hard to get where you are, put in so many study hours, she can't help but feel proud of you.
You love how driven she is. Shiv knows what she wants and what she wants, she gets, even if she has to take a lot of shit from those around her to get it. She works so hard under her family and you couldn't be prouder. She puts everything she has into her work and unfortunately doesn't get the recognition she deserves. You're there to remind her that she's doing an amazing job, that she's Shiv Roy and that people should be scared when they hear her name.
Your relationship is smart. The both of you are fiercely intelligent go-getters. You don't have time to waste on mind games and wondering what the other is thinking and small things that should worry you as a couple, but doesn't. You talk openly about your wants and needs and feelings. Shiv figures she plays enough mind games at the office, with clients and her brothers and her father, she can't come home and do that there, too. It would be exhausting. You both know what you want in life and you get it, easy as that. You want to go out to dinner for date night so you do. You want to take an impromptu vacation so you do. Your relationship is easy and comfortable and to the point.
Your first date is for drinks. She takes you to this place that she knows that won't be too crowded or busy or flashy, but of course her definition of flashy is far different than yours. It's there she is able to open to you, ask questions, relax. It's rare you get to see this side of her, you welcome it. She laughs a lot when she's around you. She can't remember the last time she felt so at ease around someone. She wants to keep feeling this way, she wants to keep spending time with you.
Relationship Headcanon: Shiv surprises you one weekend to a little apartment she bought in London just for you. She surprises you with breakfast in bed and makes your dream come true. It's a beautiful little place you two can escape to when things are stressful and you need a break. You people watch from the balcony, just the two of you, letting the day slip by. It's one of the most wonderful days you spend together.
Thank you my love!!! Hope you like it! 💜💜💜
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just-some-random-blogger · 5 months ago
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i dont want to be annoying but what the fuck is this fucking masterpiece what the fuck what the fuck are you fucking kidding me i get to read eloquently written stories of people who simp over the same man as me what the actual fucking shit fuck me
again not to be annoying but this
As the gates swung open [... ... ... ...] “My love.” He sighed, loud enough for only you to hear.
THIS ENTIRE PART NO ID REQUOTE IT ALL BUT FUCKING HELL WERE JUST AT THE START ITS SO WELL WRITTEN??? YOU WRITE SO ELOQUENTLY I CAN TASTE THE DESRIPTION FUCK OFF WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
GIRL THIS IS ILLEGAL I WILL HAVE TO REQUOTE YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING FIC BACK TO YOU FUCKING HELL WHAT THE FUCK GIRLIE HELLO???
“You needn’t worry yourself into a stupor, dearest. I will survive.” [... ... ...] Begrudgingly, Gwayne decided to let you dote over him — he quite enjoyed the attention whenever you did.
THIS WHOLE INTERACTION FUCK THIS SHIT IM GOING TO EXPLODE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS HOW I TOO HEADCANON GWAYNE THE MATH IS NOT MATHING IF YOU WRITE LIKE **this** WHY DO I AS A MERE MORTAL NOT COMPARE HELLO????
Despite the tarnish and wear of his plate, he still seemed flawless, as if he were incapable of possessing any imperfections.
God's favorite
“Perhaps I simply prefer to wear lavish silks each day.” With a bemused scoff, Gwayne ogled you through half-lidded eyes, and as soon as the doors slammed shut behind you, he coaxed you in for a kiss.
im devasted i hate it here GWAYNE X ME WHEN LORD I SEE WHAT YOU DO FOR OTHERS GIVE ME HIM WHAT IF THIS WAS MY LAST STRAW IM NOT EVEN JOKING MY EYES ARE WATERING AS I TYPE THIS NOW IM LAUGHING IM INSANE AND ITS ALL THIS RAT WITH A STUPID ASS MADE UP NAME'S FAULT FUCK YOU
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“What of them?” [...] “Surely, you would not deny your husband a kiss.” “I would, if my husband vexed me.”
ME I LOVE THEM I LOVE HOW THEY LOVE
[...]turning your head at the last moment. His mouth fell against your cheek instead, much to his disgruntlement.
im unfortunately not normal LOBOTOMY
No muddied tent above his head or the swaying of trees, no rancorous men, and no Dornishmen to tell him what to do.
cole:
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His brow remained creased with concentration, strands of copper stresses glued to his temples, lip curled with inklings of mild irritation.
i see this scene so clearly in my minds eye. im sorry shes so much better than me i would have jumped him then and there and soon give him another heir to oldtown
[...] but you were pleasantly surprised when he became subservient.
im not ready to see him as a sub im not ready IM NOT READY THIS MIGHT MAKE ME TOO SILLY AND I FEAR THERE WILL BE NO REPARITIONS
With an indignant huff, he sat back, sluggishly offering you his body with a low hum.
wAIT I SHOULD HAVE KEPT READING THERE WAS FUCKING MORE HELLO THE INSANE LAUGHTER THAT LEFT MY LIPS HAAHHAHAAAHAAAIM FINE ITS FINE SETMEFREESETMEFREESETMEFREE FUCK OFFFFF
Cerulean hues traced over your form, desperate to see your naked flesh.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME IM NAKED FOR YOU LIKE THAT
His quick tongue and eloquent speech once irked you, but now, it was simply him. You rather enjoyed when he regaled you with his flowery words and streak of arrogance, a haughtiness that seemed to run predominantly within his family.
😔 i will keep living in denial that my ass would not be a peasant if i were old timey and that id have a chance with him. i love his posh ass
“One would think,” [...] “I yearned to have my husband by my side, that is all.”
i love her she is me but much less meme speak
“As long as I please? That is forever, then. Cole cannot take you from me again.”
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. WE ARE ONE EXO PLEASE SHE IS ME
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^^ me if cole tries to take my man
“Gently, wife. I am still needed in one piece.”
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When you’d gotten rid of his upper armor, you noticed the battlefield of flourishing bruises littered across his flesh. [... ... ...] “They do not feel as horrid as they look,”
GR8 ALLOW ME TO PRESS ON THEM. MY POOR LAD HES JUST A GUY
“Such is the nature of battle.”
👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎 K
“Perhaps I should take you along to the next conflict. I will have need of your skilled hands, sweet wife.”
this but also this
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boys fight the smelly wars. go die by yourself!
Kneeling as a sacrilegious individual would, as if begging for forgiveness within the boughs of a sept, Gwayne sought his peace between your thighs. [...] Broad shoulders bullied their way between your legs, hands more than happy to have their fill of your haunches.
i wish he was real
Every sound that he evoked from you, every shudder of your body, the slick of your arousal, he knew that it all belonged to him.
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“Sweetling,” [...] “You are incomparable.”
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i am no longer amused. someone has to put me down. if im not gwayne's sweetling i should be in a coffin
Between the deliberate, timed strokes of his tongue and the stimulation of your clit, you could hold out no longer, digits curling inward, stomach sloshing with a molten warmth.
lobotomy
“In,” With a sharp timbre interwoven with lust, you seemed surprised, but obeyed his command. “Come here.” He hissed. Without delay, you stepped into the bathtub, still clad in your silken slip, which Gwayne paid little mind to
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“Sit,” He commanded, hands firm atop the swell of your hips. As you lowered yourself onto his length, he shivered, jaw tensing. “That’s it.”
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His cock filled you perfectly — nothing of indomitable size or girth, but it was pretty, just like the rest of him.
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IM SO SORRY TO ROPE YOU IN MY DEPRAVITY KITTY
Before his cockiness and ego could come swinging into the fray, you lightly squeezed at his throat, evoking a sonorous groan from him. It was effective at silencing him, but his gaze burned for you, burned with something incendiary as he gently tweaked your breast, kneading at the soft mound.
IM VIBRATING TREMBLING SHAKING QUAKING. I CANT. BEAT HIS ASS
With a debonair smirk, he pressed a kiss against the hollow of your throat, lounging back within the tub, either arm perched along the sides. “You can stay just like that, dearest. You are well within arm’s reach.”
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𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃.
⠀ཾ༵ 𑁍┆ gwayne hightower x wife!reader.
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SYNOPSIS: After your husband returns from Rook’s Rest, mostly unscathed, you are quick to indulge him to make up for lost time.
anonymous request.
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{ FORMAT: one-shot — requested by anon.
{ WORD COUNT: 5.1K.
{ WARNINGS: SMUT (mdni), first time writing for gwayne, please be gentle, gwayne is very cunt-struck in this fic, sub-ish gwayne, armor removal descriptions, mild wound tending, making out, both of them are desperate, unprotected sex, p in v sex, bathtub sex, riding (fem on top), handjob, oral sex (fem!rec), hair pulling kink, choking, breast play, cockwarming at the end
{ AUTHOR’S NOTE: I absolutely adore Gwayne and I felt like this was a really good way to warm up and get used to writing for him! I’m really glad that I’m seeing more Gwayne requests, this was ridiculously fun to write! ❤️ Thank you all so much for your love & continued support, it means more to me than you realize!
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At the precipice of the gates of the Red Keep, emerald banners flew, embellished with the golden sigil of a dragon — the King’s dragon, laying half-deceased in the Dragonpit and the King himself, ripped apart and scorched beyond recognition.
A horrible thing, to be sure — your sister-by-law had become miserable and despondent when the news of her son’s maiming reached her. Whatever comfort you attempted to offer had been dismissed, but it was commonplace, not that you minded. You understood her desire to be left alone.
It was a cloudy, dismal day, marked by the overcast of gray and gloom, a dour portrait that only seemed furthered by the King’s potential demise. Rook’s Rest was outwardly displayed as some great victory, a vanquishing of Queen Rhaenyra’s forces and her allies.
Yet, the countenance of your Knight Hightower told a different tale altogether.
Becoming betrothed and wed to Ser Gwayne Hightower had been the hallmark of your family’s importance, a union of prosperity to further your standing in the realm, but it meant more to you than that. Gwayne had grown on you with the passage of time, witty and sharp-tongued, a proficient fighter with a calm rationality.
As the gates swung open to welcome those survivors of Rook’s Rest home, you desperately searched for the velveteen tabard and copper mane, wringing your hands together beside the Queen Dowager.
His armor glistened beneath the sheen of clouds, dingy and speckled with cruor and mud, his visage stained in dried crimson and soot. He was so comely and debonair, yet he seemed rather sour when he dismounted from his gelding, swiftly tugging his helmet aside.
Your feet moved before you could summon any logical thought, rushing to him across the Keep’s courtyard and into his expectant embrace. Plate-clad arms held you close as he inhaled a gust of your scent, marigold and honey, just as saccharine as he remembered. “My love.” He sighed, loud enough for only you to hear.
Before you could cage him within your own embrace, he let out a strenuous grunt, attempting to be subtle with the painful noise. “Husband,” It delighted you to see his face again — it had been weeks. “Are you hurt?” You fussed, brows knitting together as you inspected him for any critical wounds.
Gwayne bore the scars of battle beneath, save for the cut upon his lip and bruising around his cheek. His body was undeniably sore, riddled in bruises from falling, muscles aching from wielding a blade and weeks on the road. “You needn’t worry yourself into a stupor, dearest. I will survive.” He sighed.
“You do understand that it will only prompt me to worry more, instead of less.” Begrudgingly, Gwayne decided to let you dote over him — he quite enjoyed the attention whenever you did. “Perhaps we shall draw you a bath, and a proper meal to accompany it.”
Relief settled within his features, knowing that he would be well cared-for. He counted on you to ensure that he was pampered after every conflict — it was a habit you had developed. Despite the dull throbbing that consumed his body, he offered his forearm to you, delighted to have you at his side again.
He was rather captivating in his armor, shimmering and broad, a true Knight of the realm. Despite the tarnish and wear of his plate, he still seemed flawless, as if he were incapable of possessing any imperfections.
The Red Keep loomed overhead as many soldiers fought to lick their wounds, much of it from the angry bite of dragonfire. Gwayne was fortunate to remain mostly unscathed, aside from his pride. He could not stomach another day with Criston Cole, whose overconfidence often felt like a burden.
The sight of men being obliterated into nothing more than ash and bone was a harrowing sight, one that he desperately attempted to purge from his memory. It was good to be here with you, holding you again, giving him a worthwhile distraction.
Gwayne sought the solace and sanctity of your shared chambers within the Keep, but he missed Oldtown above all. Your marital quarters there far outweighed those here in the capital in terms of lavishness and comfort, but whatever lodgings offered to him now, he wouldn’t refuse. A feathered bed and pillow seemed heavenly after weeks of sleeping on rock and coarse rags.
Pale cerulean hues appraised you with a subtle hunger, finding the supple curves of your physique through the sage silk of your gown. Once you were in private corridors, he made his desire known, manifesting it into reality. “I must say, you look rather fetching, my dear.” Gwayne hummed. “Did you know of my return?”
“Perhaps,” Countering his flirtation with a teasing smile of your own, you gently nudged past the set of heavy oaken doors, making your way into your chambers. The servants there acted at your beck and call as you had them prepare a bath. “Perhaps I simply prefer to wear lavish silks each day.”
With a bemused scoff, Gwayne ogled you through half-lidded eyes, and as soon as the doors slammed shut behind you, he coaxed you in for a kiss. His mouth tasted like the bitter sting of copper coupled with brimstone and woodland musk, but you didn’t care in the slightest.
He cared little for prying eyes, desiring to claim your mouth for himself — it had been far too long. Passion and want were interlaced into each stroke of his lips, and you matched his caliber of desire, palms seeking to perch themselves atop his chest.
Gwayne exhaled, savoring your saccharine taste, the insatiable warmth of your pliant mouth. “I missed your mouth, wife,” He groaned, pearlescent teeth greedily capturing your lower lip as he caged you in against him. His blood ran hot even still, the adrenaline of war still lingering, yet you spurred him on. “Perfect as ever.”
“Gwayne,” His eagerness surprised you, but it wasn’t unwelcome, not in the slightest. “What about the servants?” You mumbled, skin crawling with heat as he insistently tugged you closer, auburn brows furrowing together.
A twinge of desperation followed from your Knight-husband, watching as he palmed at the swell of your hips. “What of them?” He murmured, caring little for the wandering eyes of handmaidens. They were like a flock of hens, squabbling after any scrap of gossip. “Surely, you would not deny your husband a kiss.”
“I would, if my husband vexed me.” You were able to both get a rise out of Gwayne and charm him all in the same turn, turning your head at the last moment. His mouth fell against your cheek instead, much to his disgruntlement. You would make it up to him.
Once the servants finished pouring a bath for your husband and preparing a hearty meal that transcended field rations, Gwayne felt as if he could relax, the tension in his shoulders unfurling. He stepped toward the washroom, unceremoniously falling against one of the velvet-cushioned chairs.
The wooden frame groaned in protest, rickety and barely able to bear the weight of his armor. He tossed his head back, finally able to breathe and relax within the sanctuary of his own quarters. No muddied tent above his head or the swaying of trees, no rancorous men, and no Dornishmen to tell him what to do.
With a steady exhale, he began to unfasten the innumerable amount of buckles and straps upon his armor, beginning with his gauntlets and vambraces. His brow remained creased with concentration, strands of copper stresses glued to his temples, lip curled with inklings of mild irritation.
“Would you like help?” You inquired, knowing that Gwayne would be too stubborn to accept it, but you were pleasantly surprised when he became subservient. With an indignant huff, he sat back, sluggishly offering you his body with a low hum.
“If you feel that you must toil over my armor, I suppose you can lend your assistance,” Gwayne prattled on, though his breath hitched slightly when you neared him, standing in between his legs as you went about freeing him. Cerulean hues traced over your form, desperate to see your naked flesh. “Hm.”
His quick tongue and eloquent speech once irked you, but now, it was simply him. You rather enjoyed when he regaled you with his flowery words and streak of arrogance, a haughtiness that seemed to run predominantly within his family.
As you set yourself to the task of unburdening your husband from his armor, Gwayne busied himself with ogling your bosom, jaw tense and tight. A warm coil formed within his stomach, the onset of arousal as he carefully admired you, his enchanting paramour.
Unclasping his cloak, Gwayne shifted enough for you to remove it, neatly folding it into a rectangle as you draped it over the arm of the lounge. “I missed you,” You confessed, knowing that his ego would momentarily swell tenfold — it was simply in his nature. “These past few weeks were rather tense, wrought with strife.”
“Allow me to guess,” Gwayne guffawed, a smirk toying at either corner of his mouth. “Something to do with my nephews, or perhaps my sister.” Admittedly, you were lonely without him — the capital didn’t suit you, nor did any of its hostile inhabitants.
A soft huff of amusement escaped you, but you happened to shake your head, lifting a wet cloth to his lips as you dabbed at the dried blood. “One would think,” With an amiable smile, you rid your husband’s stunning visage of cruor. “I yearned to have my husband by my side, that is all.”
Gwayne’s gaze became soft in your presence, fluttering across your captivating features and gentle smile. Knowing that you missed him happened to evoke some semblance of delight, filling him with a familiar warmth that eased his aching bones.
“I am here now,” He assured, reaching for your hand as he cradled it within his own. Rough lips pressed themselves against your knuckles. “You shall have your husband for as long as you please.”
Stepping inward, your lips moved to bury themselves into his disheveled tresses, presenting him with a kiss. You always feared Gwayne riding off to fight in a war, coming to terms with the painful idea of never seeing him again. “As long as I please? That is forever, then. Cole cannot take you from me again.”
You were an excellent wife, perhaps the best — he had gotten incredibly lucky with you, a rare jewel, resplendent and glittering all for him, something to covet. He watched as you unfastened the leather straps with haste, placing each piece down atop the footlocker at your side.
Gwayne winced when you happened to tug just a touch too hard, body wracked with aches and pains, pale flesh flourishing with the wounds of war. “Gently, wife. I am still needed in one piece.” A low grunt tore past his lips, one that happened to come across as a suppression of mild agony.
Perplexed, you reached for the collar of his gorget, attempting to be as gentle as possible in its removal. It was difficult, given how much he wore — plate and chainmail weren’t exactly comfortable to wear. The relief he felt was visible, scrawled into his handsome features as he reclined into the cushions.
Broad-shouldered and corded with taut muscle, you often found Gwayne to be beautiful in some ways, painfully handsome to behold. When you’d gotten rid of his upper armor, you noticed the battlefield of flourishing bruises littered across his flesh.
The somber, softened stare you’d given him happened to temper his tongue, copper brows beginning to slack, visage contorting into more of a concerned expression. “They do not feel as horrid as they look,” He assured, smoothing his palm across the swell of your hip. “Such is the nature of battle.”
With a tender hand, you lightly traced your fingertips over each bruise, some angered and dark, others lighter in complexion. Gwayne shuddered at your delicate embrace, bluish hues glued to where your hand traveled — over his throat, toward his collarbone, and then cascading across his chest.
“Where does it hurt, my love?” The silky resonance of your voice stroked his mind in a perfect way, one that brought him to heel. Your doting attention happened to subdue him, cock stirring in the confines of his linen breeches.
He often pondered what went on in that beautiful head of yours, the way your mind operated. You were an intelligent woman, thoughtful and poised with a comely grace, becoming of a maiden. Gwayne swallowed the growing lump within his throat, feeling your palm smooth across the plate of his cuisse.
“Here,” He briefly motioned to the series of marks tangled along his collarbone — he was fortunate that it hadn’t been shattered. You stooped inward, mouth carefully hovering above the ugly bruises dotted along his collar, and kissed the injured flesh. “Hm — here.” Gwayne tapped his right pectoral.
You kissed where his hand gestured to, pliant lips akin to a gentle caress as you showered him in your sensual affections. Enraptured, Gwayne watched you, hunger swelling within him, a ravenous gnawing that he felt for you. It burned his loins, filling him with the ache of desire.
If it weren’t for his damned tasses and greaves, he would’ve had you slotted in his lap. Gwayne’s hands tightened around the back of the settee, digits curling into the wooden embellishments. “That’s all?” You murmured, gingerly caressing along his chest, watching as he immediately straightened.
Gwayne grit his teeth together, motioning toward his bruised bicep. “Here,” The soothing softness of your mouth soon followed, filling him with a warm rush of dull ecstasy. You kissed his bicep, peppering your lips upward until they landed atop his shoulder. “Here.” At last, he motioned to his mouth, marred by a cut.
“Here?” With a gentle hum, you smoothed the pad of your thumb against his lower lip, carefully avoiding the cut and any bruising. Gwayne kissed your fingertips, hand still poised against your hip, groping into your pliant curves and soft physique.
“Damnable vixen.” Gwayne muttered, though his cerulean hues oozed with warmth and ardor, a gallant love reserved only for you. It was a loving jab, and he immediately hauled you closer, bringing your mouth to his for a fiery kiss. The honey-sweet embrace of your lips were ambrosial, making his head spin around.
You reached for his auburn tresses, raking your fingers through his mane, kissing him hard and without an ounce of hesitation. His hands lowered themselves to your derrière, sinking into your supple flesh, treating you to the fervor of his hold. A low moan emerged from your throat when he nipped at your lower lip.
Gwayne relented, tongue seeking entrance into the warmth of your mouth, forcing you to part your lips. In a hurried clash, you kissed him again, open-mouthed and deliciously hot. Your stomach began to churn, arousal seeping from your core, slick between your thighs.
“Gwayne,” You whimpered, attempting to catch your breath as he parted from you, licking at his lower lip. “We needn’t carry on if you are hurt.” You insisted, but he scoffed at the notion, gazing at you with bewilderment and a clear dismissal of your concerns.
“Nonsense,” Gwayne countered, clearly feeling his blood sing with lust, bitten by desire. It was a fire that you had so diligently stoked, and now, it needed to be extinguished. “I would suffer through torture unimaginable if it meant I could have you properly.”
With a bemused huff, you pressed your lips against his bruised brow, watching as he stood up, chest bumping into you. The closeness only seemed to intensify, tension crackling between the both of you. “Are you still in-need of assistance?” You hummed, tone indicative of your lascivious wants.
Gwayne’s mouth twitched into the ghost of a smirk, catlike and salacious as he released an exaggerated sigh. “I suppose,” Truthfully, he basked in your affections, even if it was all playful, a steady buildup to more lewd proclivities. He allowed you to do it all as you unfastened his cuisses and tasses, placing them aside. “Perhaps I should take you along to the next conflict. I will have need of your skilled hands, sweet wife.”
Seeing your striking husband in nothing more than his linen smallclothes made you itch with ardor, desire beginning to fester within your heart. His necklace, adorned with his mother’s ring and yours, hung around his throat, relics resting against his sternum.
A battle was certainly no place for a lady, but you digressed, lowering one hand toward the slight bulge in the front of Gwayne’s trousers. “Is that so? I’ve become quite proficient, husband.” A silky purr escaped your lips as you kneaded one hand against his erection.
Seven Hells, you would be his undoing.
With a sharp exhale, Gwayne let out a husky groan near the shell of your ear, hands steadfast atop your hips as you caressed him over his clothes. “Quite proficient, indeed.” He uttered, teeth grazing along your neck as you let your hand slither beneath the coarse linen. The warmth of his cock met your palm, and he shivered.
A breathy sigh escaped you as you bared your neck to him, palm encircled around the base as you dragged your hand from bottom to tip. The pad of your thumb stroked along the head of his cock, causing him to jerk forward into your embrace.
He had sorely missed your touch, the smell of your skin, the plush feeling of your body beneath his capable hands. Gods, if you kept touching him like that, he felt as if he would explode — and so quickly, too. Gwayne refused to resign himself to such a thing.
“I would be delighted if you’d join me,” Gwayne murmured into your neck, lips suckling just beside your jugular. The mark he left flourished, soothed by the lap of his tongue. “Only after I’ve ravished your sweet cunt, of course.” Even crude words sounded so pretty upon his tongue, and you felt your skin crawl with warmth.
A sharp inhale escaped you, anticipation churning within the pit of your stomach as Gwayne found the laces of your gown. You nodded several times over, lips parted as you sought his mouth for a blazing kiss. With dextrous fingers, he tugged on the silken ties, loosening the garment with ease.
The fabric pooled around your feet in a heap, and you hastily kicked it aside, standing in nothing more than a sheer slip. It was nearly translucent, made of a shimmering gossamer that left little to the imagination. Transfixed, Gwayne allowed his hands to travel along your body, kneading and caressing wherever he pleased.
He coaxed you toward the settee he’d been situated in minutes prior, allowing you to sit as he stood above you, hand slipping against your thigh. “Gods, you are divine.” Gwayne sighed, roughened fingertips stroking at your silky skin, like warm velvet. “Lift your skirts for me, dearest.”
Kneeling as a sacrilegious individual would, as if begging for forgiveness within the boughs of a sept, Gwayne sought his peace between your thighs. He observed in quiet rapture as you brought your slip to your hips, revealing your body to him.
Broad shoulders bullied their way between your legs, hands more than happy to have their fill of your haunches. “Gwayne,” You whimpered, feeling him adjust your hips to a proper angle, cunny glistening with a thin sheen of your arousal. “Please, I need your mouth!” Hapless at the talons of your husband, you pleaded with him to taste you.
There was nothing he wanted more in this world than to oblige you, lips pressing all along your legs, mouth steadily finding the apex of your thighs. Gwayne took care in spreading you apart, tongue raking hot embers across your cunt, your taste ambrosial.
A stirring fire of lust roused him, cock twitching within his breeches as he delved deeper into your core. His mouth was a thing of beauty, tongue sluggishly tasting you from your clit to your entrance. Your chest heaved with wanton pants, hands gliding toward his tresses.
Tangled within his copper mane, you coaxed him closer, digits digging at the base of his skull. Gwayne released a groan into your core, hands clamping down on your thighs with an ironclad grasp. Your nectar fell heavy upon his tongue, the sweetest of honey.
Gwayne thoroughly reveled in the feeling of your hands within his hair, hips occasionally stuttering and bucking forward, desperately seeking his mouth. He was attentive, lapping at your cunt with a fervor, allowing his mouth to drift to your clit.
Silk bunched up around your belly, thighs quivering like leaves as you continued to move inward. Most of your writhing was done unconsciously, pleasure continuing to wrack your body whole. Arousal pooled between your legs, spilling onto your husband’s tongue — and he consumed every drop.
Gwayne found his place between your thighs, as any devoted husband would. Every sound that he evoked from you, every shudder of your body, the slick of your arousal, he knew that it all belonged to him. Your needy moans filled your chambers, reverberating off of the walls.
“Gods, Gwayne!” You huffed, countenance screwed into a look of complete and utter bliss, lips agape and eyes fluttered shut. Without shame, you rode your husband’s face as best as you could, wrestling with his auburn locks as your knees squeezed at his head.
Perfect — it couldn’t have gotten any better than this.
His calloused palms ran along your thighs before finding their purchase against the swell of your hips, drunk and delirious from your cunt alone. He was positively whipped, a notion that he rarely admitted aloud, let alone shared with himself. The way you took his mouth with glee filled him with pride.
Another deliberate barrage of licks assailed your clit, causing you to shiver and moan, the sounds tapering off into a series of breathy pants. “Sweetling,” Gwayne crooned, timbre shifting into a delicious husk as he called you by that affectionate nickname. “You are incomparable.” He mumbled, nose brushing along the hood of your clit.
A pang of delight rippled through you as you preened beneath his desire-ridden compliment. Gwayne had a way with words, especially if he found himself in the mood to regale you with lewd whispers. The moment wasn’t now, but you hoped that it would be, soon enough.
That familiar coil of tenuous heat festered within the pit of your stomach, signaling the encroachment of your release. Gwayne buried himself into your cunt, spreading you apart, tongue greedily lapping at your core. His cock was desperate to be inside of you, slick with precum, straining against his trousers.
You chased after your release with reckless abandon, a low wine tearing past your lips as you tugged on Gwayne’s tresses with a sense of urgency. His lips found themselves pursed around the pearl of your cunt, suckling on that sensitive bud until you cried out.
It was an undeniable surge of utter bliss, an amalgamation of pleasure that made your thighs twitch and tremble. You threw your head back against the velveteen lounge, moaning your husband’s name as if it were the only word you knew.
Between the deliberate, timed strokes of his tongue and the stimulation of your clit, you could hold out no longer, digits curling inward, stomach sloshing with a molten warmth. “I— Gwayne!” You mewled, the sound deliciously innocuous as you approached your release.
It slammed into you with the force of a tidal wave, sending spasmodic shivers all along your body, making your skin undeniably hot. Gwayne groaned into your cunt, finding great pleasure in cleaning you up, reveling at the taste of your nectar, like a fine stout.
His cock throbbed with a pleading ache, wanting nothing more than to be inside of you. He was patient, but he could wait no longer, face appearing from between your thighs as he huffed. “I cannot continue to wait,” Gwayne murmured, voice laced with desperation. “I must have you, sweet wife.”
Still trapped within the white-hot throes of your release, you nodded, wanting more from him just as he did you. “I am yours completely.” You breathed, watching as he made for the bathtub. The water inside had gone from steaming to warm, not that he cared.
It was like a race, an eager clamoring to see who could get themselves into the basin first. Gwayne hastily unlaced his breeches, leaving them behind along the stone floor before he sank into the water, muscles unfurling almost instantaneously.
You stood, legs quivering from the might of your peak as you attempted to rid yourself of the silken slip, but Gwayne didn’t have time to watch you fiddle with your gown. “In,” With a sharp timbre interwoven with lust, you seemed surprised, but obeyed his command. “Come here.” He hissed.
Without delay, you stepped into the bathtub, still clad in your silken slip, which Gwayne paid little mind to. Eager, strong hands gripped your hips, dragging you closer until you were in his lap. Auburn tresses were slick with water, visage upturned into a look of sheer delight.
The gossamer silk stuck to your body, hitched around your hips, the wet garment clinging to your flesh. Gwayne lowered you enough to let his cock nudge against your folds, burying his face into the hollow of your throat. He pressed strings of needy kisses there, feeling you grind yourself against him.
Tugging at the thin, lace-woven straps of your slip, you revealed your breasts to him, fabric sagging along your midsection. You listened to the audible hitch of Gwayne’s breath, continuing to slide his cock along the length of your slit. “Sit,” He commanded, hands firm atop the swell of your hips. As you lowered yourself onto his length, he shivered, jaw tensing. “That’s it.”
His cock filled you perfectly — nothing of indomitable size or girth, but it was pretty, just like the rest of him. You gasped, palms moving to perch themselves atop his freckled shoulders. Gwayne groaned, slumping back against the slick, metallic wall of the tub, keeping one hand steady against your hip.
What sweet torment, Gwayne thought, tantalized and entranced by the way you began to ride him, sluggishly through the constant sloshing of water. He assisted you somewhat, guiding you along, occasionally lifting his hips to buck into you, but the efforts primarily rested with you.
“Seven Hells,” Gwayne huffed, cerulean hues drinking in the sight of you, disheveled and damp, countenance contorted into a look of pure bliss. “I missed that cunt of yours, wife. There is nothing like it.” A low grunt tapered off into a breathy sigh as you came down harshly, nails digging into his pale flesh.
Instead of cajoling him with sultry praises of your own, you kept quiet, one hand slinking toward the base of his throat. The newfound sensation left Gwayne visibly perplexed, but he enjoyed your little domineering streak, mouth curling into the ghost of a smirk.
His palm moved to cup your breast, toying with your nipple, slick from water, beginning to pebble with the cooler air. “Gwayne,” You moaned, bouncing upon his cock with all of the eagerness of a brothel whore. Enraptured, he observed you through a greedy, half-lidded stare. “You feel incredible.”
Before his cockiness and ego could come swinging into the fray, you lightly squeezed at his throat, evoking a sonorous groan from him. It was effective at silencing him, but his gaze burned for you, burned with something incendiary as he gently tweaked your breast, kneading at the soft mound.
You were divine, a goddess incarnate, made for him to worship at your feet. He simply couldn’t get enough of you, savoring the way in which his cock continued to bury itself within your tight walls, over and over again. That tenuous coil of warmth tightened within his belly, a rush of heat soon to follow.
His hips jolted again, bucking up into you until he hit that perfect spot inside of you. You gasped, mouth agape as your nails dug angry-red crescents into his shoulder. Gwayne’s own sounds of pleasure caressed your ear, feeling him lean in enough to press a string of kisses all over your breasts.
The hold you had upon his throat began to slack, thighs burning with a dull ache as you rocked yourself upon his cock, continuing to ride him. His cock bottomed out before you lifted yourself up again, only to fall right back down, letting him bury himself until he could go no further.
He looked gorgeous, crown of copper tresses lolled back against the tub, visage one of pleasure, hands continuing to grope and caress along your body. It was only when his length began to pulse and throb within you that he grit his teeth, bracing himself for his release.
A low, subtle ‘fuck’ tore past his mouth, goosebumps coalescing along the length of your spine. You didn’t relent, continuing to rock yourself upon his cock until he was bursting at the seams. With a noisy groan, Gwayne’s hips stuttered, filling you with ropes of hot seed.
Even the ache of war and sex could not spend him entirely, and if it were up to him, he would’ve had you on your back the second you stepped out of the tub. With a sigh of relief, he stroked your hip, watching as you came down with him.
“I will never tire of that,” Gwayne confessed, hand repositioning to stroke at your brow, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Will you stay and help bathe your husband?” He inquired, tone jocular and somewhat playful, but he seemed serious.
“Perhaps,” You mused, reaching for a bar of herb-laden soap, attempting to move off of him. Gwayne tutted, clicking his tongue with mild disdain as he pulled you right back down onto his cock. “Gwayne.” Issuing a soft-spoken warning, you gasped, brows furrowing together.
With a debonair smirk, he pressed a kiss against the hollow of your throat, lounging back within the tub, either arm perched along the sides. “You can stay just like that, dearest. You are well within arm’s reach.” That lascivious purr of him stoked yet another fire, and you relented, staying slotted atop him.
“You’re insufferable.”
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xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx · 6 months ago
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so last night was the shit show of the united states presidential debate between the 2 inevitable candidates
and yes as funny as it is that it went so horribly and has funny as the mems are, this really isnt funny. we are literally doomed. theres no way around it. neither candidate will probably even live thru a full term but the damage the one could do would be so horrifically devastating it wont matter how short the term was. also both will lead us to war. and if putin doesnt kick the bucket soon NATOs gonna end up in WWIII. the only thing keeping countries like the US, Russia, North Korea etc from nuclear war is the mutually assured destruction of it. and trust that these men are just unhinged enough to put those keys in and press that button. as much as id love to think that ill be able to grow old and be happy i doubt ill live past 40 at this rate. this election is between a lunatic, unhinged, lying, womanizer who only cares about himself and a geriatric old man who entertains the lunatic. the worlds gonna end one day and that day seems to be getting closer and closer. we have 5 years before our climate damage is irreversible and no ones gonna do jack shit about it. ive accepted that within the next 30 years i will likely lose not only my rights as a human being but also my life at the hands of lunatic old men who have no sense of humanity. whether the nuclear war kills me, the boiling of the planet, or my own hand to avoid options 1 and 2 ive accepted i probably wont die peacefully at 104 in my sleep. ive accepted death as ive accepted i wont bring children into this awful world, ill never be able to buy a house, and ill be drowning in debt for the rest of my life regardless of how much i make. i try to think of the more immediate future like college and career options but i cant help but think abt these things. im 16 and worried about my future rights as a citizen, world war 3, nuclear holocausts, fascism in america and my inevitable death. i wish i could have some semblance of secruity in my government and in the world but at this point i dont even bother having hope. i want to change it somehow but unfortunately i worry that by the time i can change anything it will be too late. for fucks sake the 10 commandments are now required in louisianna classrooms and in ohio you must teach the bible in public schools. women and babies in the US are dying at an insane rate since the overturn of row v wade (americas federal protection of abortions) project 2025 just straight up exists and makes sure that not only do i not have rights as a woman, a member of the LGBT+ community but also that im a criminal by birth because my parents are 2 diff faiths. trump a felon and presidential candidate has called my fathers people vermin, sees women as playthings and only cares about himself and money. if there is one human on this planet that i thing god truly made a mistake in creating its him. tbh with everything going on in the world im not sure i believe in a god anymore (something that could also be a crime in project 2025). and haha yea laugh at america the laughing stock of the world, the meth lab that lives under canada but god help us if he becomes president. ive mentioned before that if that happens mt family will literally have to flee the states. imagine that, political refugees from the so called land of the free. despite the fact that both candidates suck one is significantly better than the other. if youre a US citzen over 18 PLEASE PLEASE VOTE BLUE.
american politics is a joke and its citizens are the punchline.
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raitrolling · 1 year ago
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anyway uhhhhh. scattered thoughts about Spanner In The Works time
the whole idea for this plot started out because when celise last met epsilo he was very close to just straight-up killing them, and while that crisis was avoided i liked the idea of celise dying and getting resurrected due to vernrot's eldritch influence so i decided to roll with that for my own plot
lucy being the culprit just made sense to me given how it is established that he does kill tourists whenever the various entities at vernrot require a troll sacrifice, and then i was thinking Hey What If That Had Consequences
... and also i had that scene where vallis figures out that lucy is drunk because he's listening to his bodily functions using his eldritch senses stuck in my head and wanted to write that. i love vallis' lowkey freak shit
that was. about the extent of of pre-planning i did before writing those five drabbles LMAO most of the stuff came to me while i was writing, or i was thinking about the next drabble while writing the one i was currently working on
lucy wasn't originally going to call upon the horrorterrors to save celise, but something about that moment of being so delirious from blood loss and regret/grief that you call out to anyone who would hear for some sort of solace was really evocative to me that i just had to include it. and it helped tie vallis into the plot for Part 4 even if he was mostly used as exposition
as an aside, i thought it was really funny how vallis talks about being disappointed that celise wants nothing to do with him, only for it to be revealed in the next drabble that they were so out of it they dont even remember him being there
celise is a frog zombie for multiple reasons 1. they are a frog troll and making them more froglike sounded fun; 2. vernrot's horrorterrors tend to warp people by giving them more aquatic qualities so amphibious bullshit made sense to me; 3. i like frogs; and 4. celise fucking hates weird zombies so this was such an ironic and mean fate to give them. id actually been debating for years if celise should have an inexplicable frog tongue mutation because i thought itd be funny if they could just. eat flies out of the air with it, but i always worried it mightve been Too Weird And Gross that i didnt go ahead with it... Until now. if anyone gets weird about it im beating you to death
i genuinely forgot that celise was a vegetarian too, so i had to pivot hard towards them having to deal with the horror of eating meat in After Pain so that ended up a lot more visceral than i initially intended. though i did have to rewrite one part because i got so into writing a contrast between celise's disgust between eating meat and how their new instincts desperately crave it and it tastes irresistible to them now that started sounding a bit vaguely erotic and i went FUCK OH NO GO BACK LMFAOOO. dungeon meshi changed me as a person
but yeah unfortunately for them their diet has completely flipped and they can only eat meat now! they can stomach animal meats fine but it doesn't sate them nearly as much as troll meat does, and for those who skipped the emeto scene the main thing worth noting is that ordinary food tastes rotten to them now. big rip
also the timeline is just vague enough that its ambiguous who left the offering at the end. was it the horrorterrors looking after their newest creation? or was it lucy trying to repent for what he had done to them? vote now on your phones
and i think i made it clear enough, but the thing that the horrorterrors took away from them was their ability to feel intense amounts of anger, which now when they get angry they start feeling really hungry instead. funny how they constantly denied their ability to feel negative emotions and anger to the point where they dissociated themself from the emotion entirely, and once they finally acknowledged it, it was taken away from them and the absence is so much worse. on the bright side, theyll be a little less insufferable to deal with now, so lucy did one thing right by killing them :)
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lostacelonnie · 1 year ago
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Hey no worries i have to interact with people i dont wanna all the time & have to take a moment & not be like that myself. Oh shit its school time already? Maybe some will know but the beauty is that eventually you reach a point where nobody will who you dont want to so fuck it we ball on that one. Lakeside beaches are also very good i think mt fuji in japan has some like. Lakeside beaches that offer a good view of it & i wanna see that. Im not sure what the definition of fancier english words is here but mostly you dont need them in my experience anyways. Even specific words have workarounds. Ah so making it easier & more generic but not going into the details like they used to. Thats a shame especially with how confusing english can get. I went one town over a week or two ago & it was 108 F, or 42 c i had to convert that, at like 8 at night i was dying. Totally fair sometimes knowing when to hold off is best & its nice to enjoy stuff later for certain things. Turned out i had enough for 2 ten pulls but kafka came home on the first so my luck got burned for a bit i think. Cant wait to use her. The story is interesting but ive been having. So much fun diving in fontaine i ignored the story for a whole day. Good luck on your gear maxing & eventual ender dragon fight! Ah yes a tough choice. That i guess boils down to how much you like your family. So good luck on that decision as well! Oh please do! I found a purple that should work with my hair just need to use it when i have time. I would like to grind more but it kills my phone battery. Oh i got sampo too but i dont think i need to worry about building yet. So no artifact grind for me. The aeons are conceptually really cool & i cant wait for more simulated universe. When i get back to it. So many side quests. My brain is a sponge for fish facts mostly. Its weird. Like antarctic sponges are theorized to live so long because the low temperature & high pressure slow their aging dramatically
thanks ahdfkjg i appreciate it. it is indeed school time already! i start in just under a week but the beginning of the school year is pushed back this year bc september 1st is on a friday so its starting on the 4th instead! yippee! and yeah defo but luckily the people who already know, that being my mother and a couple friends, are very chill about it so even More fuck it we ball. yeah im pretty sure it does but not completely certain. speaking of which maybe ill go see mt fuji if i end up traveling more when older. and well its hard to explain shdfj i mostly mean like, rarer words used, for example, in poetry, or more specific words, lets say the parts of a ship- which, yes, i DO know the basic ones, but theres a couple that i only know the polish equivalent of [for example, a dziób is called a prow! i had to look that up!]. but yeah it doesnt really hinder my day to day understanding of the language, its just occasionally mildly annoying. and yeah it is like that but oh well. GOOD LORD 42C????? id just Perish. the moment it starts getting uncomfortable for me is like 27c [80f]. yeah ill see What Life Brings!! and oh congrats!!! tbh i didnt really have the energy to play star rail recently sjdnflgk but at least i converted that time into actually drawing so id say its for the better. and oh cool!!! im back in warsaw so ill probably check it out any day now sjdkfjm if im not too busy with rain world that is. god i love rain world. and thank you!!!! its extremely funny bc while ive liked minecraft for YEARS now i never actually ended up beating the game cos i have an unfortunate tendency to abandon saves.... but ill try to finally do it. beat the fake gamer allegations. i do actually like my family, or at least my mother since im not really close with my half siblings [all adults, also 2 outta 3 dont moved out of poland] or the rest [live like half the country away] so yeah i still have to think about it. anyway, dye update: i actually managed to do it! finally. thank god. and oh i feel you, my phone was dying bc of memory so i play on pc now. best decision of my life tbh. YEAHHH im so curious about them...... SWARM DISASTER GAME MODE SOON THO....... AND EPIC thats so cool!!! i love hearing fish facts knowing damn well im Not going to remember anything
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mrfoox · 3 years ago
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I took an self prompted walk for the first time since October
#miranda talking shit#I was out for 20 min lol#The city just scares me so much...#To avoid people i have to walk at night . But at night there are drunks or worse outside#At my parents all i have to worry about is being mauled by an bear or scared moose#Sure thats also scary but on the level of potential bad people in the city its like an 5 vs 9 on the scary meter#And i miss the stars so much... You cant see shit here. Or well i could see the moon but#The stars in a village an hour away from cities.... Man thats the shit#Cant see any stars in summer either bc i live in the north of Sweden so i have to be freezing my ass off in -10 or colder to see them#Id love to be scared of heights ... Spiders... Going to the dentist... But instead im scared of everything involving humans#Im scared of being hurt my strangers. Im scared of being hated by loved ones. Every fear i have is involved with other people#We as humans really wasnf designed to deal with this type of world we have manifactured around us#My gather/hunter instincts are just making up imaginary threats to 'keep me alive' unfortunately in our world of today it just keeps me#Locked in a miserable place lol. I dont know how to win with my brain because it just feels like no matter what i lose#Exposing myself to things im scared of doesnt make it less scary. Went to school for 9 years of my life and still never got not scared of#It. Ive said it a million times before but i really can't live in this world. Not how im supposed to. Not how im expected to#I haven't had a day without anxiety since i was 5 years old. Everything is scary and i legit cant 'calm down' or let my guard down#And in my dreams im always being killed or hurt or worse. And still that is an preferable alternative to being conscious on most days#I know i need to :do something (: but i literally do not want to do anything. I force myself to get out of bed and do basic things#I have to talk myself up to play fuckin video games which is my main hobby... I probably need someone to push me to do things but thats no#Service or anything for that which could help me. Because the level of involvement id need from them would be too much#Maybe if i had some spare millions id be able to hire people and actually see an pshycatrist but ive been in line to see one in our free#Health care for two or three years now lmao... At least they've been consistent with me on the matter#Pre 18 i still had to wait years for ant help and its the same now#Only thing fast is getting pills prescribed i guess ....#Dont mind me im just venting into the void aka my tags
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scourgefrontiers · 2 years ago
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so i was thinking about how i kinda wanted to make comics for a living (this could be a temporary desire still lol) and i was thinking about my career as a whole and how it would go. if i dont have a long-running comic that i work on for years and years, basically my whole career, then id have to make new stories to keep me on my feet. unfortunately with mirrors, at least as it is now, i dont feel comfortable enough publishing it for money just yet until it gets some major rewriting done. so if i were to go into comics id have to put my energy into some other stories i have.
what worried me for a while was that id just..run out of content to produce? run out of stories to work on, and thus run out of work to keep me afloat (i dont know how popular any of my stories would get, so i dont know how much income id have from royalties and such). but then i listed out all my potential stories and i was like..damn maybe i'll be ok with just these lol. b/c if i publish all of these i could maybe get enough income to make a living off of them, and id have enough stories to keep myself occupied
to list the original stories i could produce:
underdark
alien love
step
villain + school
the shadow of doubt
hellish compromise
when death smiled
multiplicity (maybe)
to list the stories that are iffy due to heavy influence from other stories but i could probably work them out differently:
mirrors
facets
new light
see this is a lot of shit!!! even if i finish them ALL, i think by then id be pretty set. idk. i guess we'll see
with stories i havent already started drawing (so besides mirrors and villain + school) id probably take a black & white approach to their art styles to keep myself sane (with a few colored pages thrown in there of course). but yeah i guess we'll see how things go
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thinkingofsimpyboisinc · 3 years ago
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Djhdhdjdjd ok ok so imagine this- Revivebur tries to find his darling. But darling joined Las Nevadas with fundy and is like a performer in the casino (idk what's happening currently in the lore cuz I'm so out of the loop rn but i do know that there's a casino for sure-) like they used to give like wholesome vibes but now-?
Bruh they did a whole ass glow up and they now give Jessica Rabbit vibes. And as soon as Revivebur recives word where his darling is, man practically yeeted himself into the casino, where his darling is currently all dolled up, all pretty like a newly bought Barbie doll on the stage..
(i can imagine the darling singing "Killing me softly" maybe like this? https://youtu.be/KGyTtPeP0Lw or like Kz Tandingan's version: https://youtu.be/CyPF91Qbf48
Or maybe like Jessie J's? https://youtu.be/GHyj93FGmuA
Idk i couldn't find a version that kinda gives off casino vibes id try to sing it but ehhhh ^^;;)
Basically this is the first time He hears his Darling sing, and man literally falls in love all over again. And he just simps so hard for them, and is oh so desperate to get them back, but darling is like "bitch my feelings died the moment the Wilbur I knew was gone-". (I tried to think of a more badass line but I'm tired ha-)
(Neways idk what to add more lol- i just thought of this while I was in the middle of reading an angsty Revivebur x reader ^^;;)
-🌻
the darling would absolutely take no shit from revivebur. what he did during the festival broke them and they felt as if they would never get the wilbur that they knew and love back.
when ghostbur is around, the darling allows herself to feel pity for the ghost. even though they know that ghostbur isnt their lover, theyre willing to let him believe that. at some times darling even believes that ghostbur is as close to their lover that theyll ever get so they let themselves feel like their lover.
darling joins las nevadas without telling ghostbur alongside fundy. even if fundy always acted defensive towards the darling due to how step kids can be at first, he warmed up to them really quickly. he doesnt know where hed be if they werent still besides him.
enough of that, revivebur. when darling hears that wilbur was revived, their first concern was fundy. they loved him more than they loved themself so they had to make sure he was alright. when both darling and fundy process the news, they both agree on hiding in las nevadas. it wouldnt be hard considering they already lived their, but they would definitely work on limiting their interactions with others outside of the country.
revivebur is almost immediately on the hunt for you. its been forever and his memories as ghostbur are a little foggy. he asks tommy where you are, but he doesnt know. so revivebur goes around the entire smp asking for where you are. some people (cough cough eret) would refuse to even tell him if they knew or not! its skeppy that tells where you are. not only is revivebur curious about the new country, but hes also curious as to why you're working with quackity. you and him never really got along.
its at nightime when he stumbles inside the casino and he's immediately blown away at the sound of your wonderful voice (second time jve wrote that today.) he feels like hes 20 years younger! (canon revivebur is 40+. don't believe me? check tommys first stream after c!wilbur was revived.) it feels like hes falling in love all over again.
eventually you head inside a door to the side and wilbur waits until the bodyguard (lets be honest, its just sam or purpled 😭) in front of the door has looked away to sneak past. it seems to just be a plain dressing room.
you turn at the sound of the door opening and immediately glare at wilbur. you werent worried about yourself, you were worried about your son. you would not let wilbur hurt him again.
"what do you want, wilbur?" he laughs and shrugs.
"what? im not able to see my wife? come here," he teases as he tries to pull you into a hug. you immediately back away and glare at him harder.
"dont lay a hand on me. i am not your wife and fundy isnt your son. get out," you hissed as wilbur stared down at you in disbelief. he lets out a breathy laugh.
"what? what do you mean youre not my wife?"
"i mean, im not your wife," you spoke, your tone laced in venom. you were even angrier than before. he didnt even care about fundy.
"youre being ridiculous. we have never gotten divorced," he mumbled. his anger was slowly starting to show through. you had to get him out.
"...."
"...."
"get out. before i scream," you responded. unfortunately, the one thing your outfit didnt come with was a dagger.
"i dont see what your issue is. love, do you have any idea how much i missed you? no one would tell me where you were and i was worried sick! now, im here and im trying to make things right and youre just trying to kick me out?" he took one step towards you and that was it for you.
"SAM!"
it took one shout for sam to come in. he had wilbur restrained immediately.
"will, you say we never got divorced. so, i would like to declare this our last conversation as lovers."
he gave a sharp inhale and stared you down as sam dragged him out of the casino.
he couldnt even give two shits about fundy.
this turned out so much longer than necessary. 😭
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seijorhi · 4 years ago
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asks :))
what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...
What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen
it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha
Just read nostos-
First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳
Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼
ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)
you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty
Omfg that fic was so good!
Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)
Looking forward to your future work <3
ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33
You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!
The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*
A+++++
ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha
I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome
fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha
I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou
ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha
OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕
TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha
Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫
tysm nonnie!!! <33
i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though
bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha
Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now
lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol
your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them
thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader
RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again
‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!
Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.
(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)
Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do
-🥚
GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!
Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld
poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha
Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &
This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin
i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha
That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are
TYSM NONNIE!!! <33
Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---
Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.
Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...
https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ
Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)
~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸
i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby
idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics
i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you
Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!
he most certainly did :))
LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.
id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️
EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh
Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )
To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅
ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺
I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao
kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!
You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.
🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨
After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤
choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌
what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?
(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)
i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))
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schrodingerzgender · 3 years ago
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i cut my hair finally, its not exactly what i wanted but at least its more masc than some people get their first go around
its honestly affected me weirder than i thought it would… and what freaks me out is its only shifted my gender confusion and complicated it. when i had my long hair i desperately wanted to appear more masc most of the time, only turning on the femme when i wanted like minor tho often double sided social perks that come with it (people being kinder to me, people calling me attractive, yknow the drill, i know its more complex but idk)
and like id get gender euphoria from being ‘one of the guys,’ guys acknowledging that i think like them and can meld in their humor when they make nasty jokes and dont feel they need to censor cause ‘a girls in the room’ yknow? just having genuine male friends and i love that i do things more masc (but its never been in a ‘girl power’ way or im doing this to spite anyone its just the stuff i like) like i never resonated with viewing my more ‘masc’ interests as a feminist power thing yknow cause i never really felt the same as cis women. like i cringed when id think of someone saying “wow that little gal sure can drive, really stickin it to the boys” and that kind of shit. i just like that i know more about cars than my boyfriend and can fix shit. i leaned into all of that masc stuff when i had long hair to make me feel more like me, for people to see me as a guy and/or a girl and/or just a person depending on the day or situation. and thats how i came to accept my self as nonbinary and genderfluid. it just makes sense.
now with my haircut something weird has happened… im kinda worried about looking like a boy. and you might be thinking “oh honey that just means youre cis” and thats honestly what im afraid of but tbh i think the feeling has way more complex origins. like im not worried about looking like a boy because i dont like it, its because OTHER people wont like it. im closeted, and i dont have enough dysphoria to warrant fully coming out, at least not rn. but in the meantime i have to be seen as cis girl in the eyes of others and as a “girl” who now looks like a boy… im just afraid people will see me as an ugly girl at worst or a girl who got an unfortunate haircut at best. and i feel like i need to compensate FEMININITY now and not be masc in order to please and appease others. for them to not ask questions.
i dont wanna come out im really not ready… i know what its like to hear the concept of genderfluid when youre still stuck on there being only two genders. i know cause it was me and i thought it was bullshit. it took me years to accept myself and view my own identity as valid. how can i come out to people who will never fully get it? who deep down under a veil of acceptance will think my identity is bullshit?
so i feel stuck, i got this haircut to feel like myself but i still feel like i have to hide
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sunnydaisy1 · 4 years ago
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Flights Delayed
SAM WILSON X READER
A/N: why is this not my life??? I love Sam and this beautiful human being who sent in this request. I loved it and couldn’t wait to post this piece. Hope you like it :)
REQUEST: I saw your call for Sam Wilson requests on your arts and crafts fic, which was excellent by the way, and I thought I might send one in! How about reader as an avenger who either can’t make it home for Christmas, or doesn’t have a home to go to. And Sam stays with them at the compound and they stay up watching Christmas movies, until reader falls asleep on his shoulder. I’m a sucker for some Christmas fluff! ❣️🎄🎁 - Anon
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You thanked Happy as you climbed out the car, pulling out your suitcase and shutting the door. You giddely walked towards the airport entrance, finding the right area for Terminal 2. This Christmas you were staying with your family for the first time in 2 years. You couldn't wait to arrive home and feel the familiar comfort of your childhood home and forget about the stress and panic of the world for a few days. Soon, you found the waiting area for flight 227 and sat down amongst many awaiting adults, eager to go home to see their families. You checked the flight board, smiling at the green notices saying all flights were on time and that yours left in 35 minutes. Pulling out your phone from your puffer jacket, you noticed that you had a notification from the groupchat you shared with Nat, Sam, Steve and Bucky called SPYKIDS. Sam: hope your flight is good y/n, have a nice christmas x Steve: gonna miss you at the compound :) Nat: enjoy the break lovely xx Bucky: Sam is waiting for you to reply Y/N i can see him checking his phone every 30 seconds. Sam: am not Steve: liar Sam: shut up Bucky: dont be rude sammy Sam: I hate it when you call me that and you know it 😑 Nat: not when y/n says it you don't Steve: ....exposed ☕ Sam: wish id never said anything now 🤦‍ Nat: hehe You chuckled and sent back a text Y/N: thanks guys haha, have a lovely christmas sammy x You clicked on spotify and opened some music up, putting in your headphones to pass the time. Around 10 minutes later you noticed a lot of people were starting to talk louder and there was a bit of commotion. You turned round to see where everyone was looking and your heart dropped. Snow. It was fricking snowing outside. Normally you would have been ecstatic at the sight of snow at Christmas, but right now it only meant one thing. Delayed flights. You glanced up at the flight board and saw only one flight had been delayed. Crossing your fingers and praying to any power there may be, you sat down in your chair and searched the weather on your phone. Just 10 minutes later, the airport was chaos central. Almost all flights had been delayed and the frustration of tired people was rising. You had been flicking between the glass windows which looked out over the runways and showed you the increasing precipitation to the flight board. Your flight hadn't been classified as delayed yet and you could sense everyone around you was waiting with baited breath at whether it would change to delayed. You shifted in your seat and watched with utter sadness and irritation as the letters next to your flight number switched to state DELAYED. You groaned alongside the other awaiting passengers, just hoping for a miracle so the snow would clear up soon. This frustration unfortunately didn't fade away and as the minutes passed by, you felt a christmas surrounded by family slowly drifiting away. The snow was falling heavier now and you dreaded looking at the flight board, knowing the glaring orange letters would not ease the tension in the atmosphere. You glanced down at your phone, seeing it had been over an hour since your flight was meant to have left. A sudden speaker crackled and everyone looked up in hope, "We thank everyone for waiting patiently for information on their flights. Unfortunately, the snow has not cleared and the runways are becoming increasingly dangerous. It is expected that their condition will not improve so we must regrettably inform you that all flights scheduled for today have been cancelled. Our staff will be happy to help you find temporary accommodation and we will continue to update you on flight statuses. Thankyou." At once, the airport exploded into an uproar and angry passengers stormed towards the information desks. Your heart sunk as the flight board wiped out to display all cancellations. How were you meant to arrive home in time for Christmas now? You didn't want to spend christmas eve at an airport. Tears threatened to fall from your blurry eyes as your perfect christmas slipped away. You sniffled a little and unlocked your phone, deciding that texting your mum was best. You explained the situation and you got an instant reply, stating she was incredibly sorry and that they would all miss you tomorrow. You arranged with her to fly home on the 27th so you could still spend some of the holiday with your family. Sitting back in your seat, you looked around at the mania of tired passengers and wondered what you were going to do now. You had no clue if anyone was even staying at the compound over Christmas. Racking your brain for someone to call, you decided Tony would be the best as he would know everyone's wearabouts. He picked up after the second ring: 'Hey kid, everything okay?' he asked, concern in his voice. 'Urh no not really, all flights today have been cancelled and I don't know where to go.' You replied, trying not to burst into tears. 'Oh Y/N im so sorry. I can get someone to pick you up and drive you to ours if you want, I'm sure Morgan and Pepper would love to spend Christmas with you.' You sighed at Tony's kindness but the least you wanted to do was intrude on their private time and plus, the drive would take at least 8 hours in this weather now. 'That's really sweet but the roads are jammed Tony. Is anyone staying at the compound?' 'Yeah, Sam is currently there now and Steve and Bucky are going over tomorrow.' Tony replied and you sighed in relief. 'Okay thanks, I think I'll stay there with them.' 'Okay kiddo, call me if there's anything you need.' 'Will do, merry christmas Tony." "Merry Christmas y/n." You hung up on Tony and searched for Sam's contact, clicking on it and hearing it ring a few times before his gravelly voice came through. "Y/N i thought your flight had left?" He asked and you rubbed your forehead, a headache weeding itself into your brain, "Uh no, all flights have been cancelled because of the snow." At once, you heard Sam get up and his voice fill with concern, "Love I'm so sorry, I'm coming to pick you up now." You nod and sniffle, "Okay, thanks Sammy." "No worries, I'll be there as soon as I can."He replied. You picked your stuff up, heading for the terminal exit to wait in the pick up area. You sunk down into one of the padded seats, closing your eyes and leaning back against the wall. God you hoped Sam would arrive soon. Sam walked into the pick up waiting room, scanning the huge crowd for your familiar body. He weaved in and out of people until he spotted your defeated frame, slumped in a chair. His heart sunk at your sniffling and tear-stained cheeks. "Oh love I'm here." He said as he squatted down in front of you. You opened your eyes to see his face, brows furrowed. "Sorry for being a pain." Your hoarse voice croaked out. "Nonsense. Let's get you home." Sam replied, wrapping an arm around you and carrying your bag and suitcase despite your attempts to stop him. You shivered as you exited the building into the nipping air and Sam pulled you closer, heart breaking at your shivering form. He took you over to the car and opened the passenger side, letting you slide in before shutting it and placing your luggage in the back. He climbed into the drivers side and turned the engine on, wanting nothing more than to pull you into his lap and hug you whilst you cried. But, that would cross over the boundary that clearly defined your relationship as 'Just Friends' so he had to make do with holding your hand across the console. After a while, you stopped crying and your body had relaxed into the warmth of the car, easing your throbbing head. You softly spoke to Sam, "Thankyou for coming to get me, I know this isn't how you wanted to spend your Christmas Eve." Sam chuckled and rubbed his thumb over your hand, "Its alright love, driving home a snotty girl definitely wins over watching another of Steve's movies." You laughed slightly, greatful for Sam's attempts to cheer you up. Sam beamed as he glanced at you, "how does me and you and some Christmas movies with a shit ton of food sound to cheer you up?" You smiled and looked at Sam, "that sounds lovely." When you had arrived back at the compound, Sam had told you to go and get showered and change into comfy pyjamas whilst he got some food ready and you couldn't muster the strength to disagree when that sounded perfect. You walked into your room, freshly clad in a pair of warm joggers and an oversized tshirt, feeling a lot more relaxed about the situation, knowing a Christmas spent with 3 of your favourite people would be amazing and that you would see your family very soon. Sam knocked on your door when you were finding a pair of fluffy socks, one of his hoodies in hand. "Thought you might want one of these, I know you steal my hoodies when you think I'm not looking." You felt heat rise to your face, embarassed but taking the hoodie none the less, knowing the cozy fabric and relaxing smell would calm you. "Thanks." You replied, making Sam grin. "Foods ready, where did you want to have it?" He asked, watching you tug the hoodie on. "Oh uh if you don't mind my bed is looking really inviting right now." You replied, tugging on the ends of the hoodie's arms. "Sure thing." Sam winked at you before walking in the direction of the kitchen. Your heart fluttered at the gesture and you shook the thoughts out of your head as you scooted under your bed covers and sat up against one side of the headboard. Not 5 minutes later, Sam returned, quesadillas and popcorn in hand, grinning at your swamped form in the bed. "Oh you're a godsend." You said as he handed you a plate of your favourite food. Sam chuckled and placed the popcorn on the bedside table. "Do you still want me to join you or do you want to be left alone?" He asked considerately and your stomach jumped at how sweet he could be. "No there's room for you, scoot over here Sammy." He grinned and clambered in bed next to you, his own plate of quesadillas resting on the duvet covering his lap. "So what will it be Elf or the Holiday?" You asked Sam, mouth already full of cheesy goodness. "I don't mind." He said, watching you with so much adoration on his face that if Bucky or Nat had seen him they would have shipped him off to a deserted island so they didn't throw up at the sickening love radiating off him. "the Holiday it will be then. I'm in the mood for some Jude Law." You giggled, taking another bite of quesadilla and grinning at Sam. You continued to watch the movie together, finishing your food and somehow migrating towards each other while sharing popcorn, both of you excusing it as needing to be closer to share the bowl. You were gradually growing more tired, struggling to keep your eyes open as the rollercoaster of emotions you had experienced today had wiped the energy out of you. Sam tensed when he felt your head rest on his shoulder but relaxed when he saw your dozey gaze watching the TV. His body filled with warmth at this moment you were sharing and he dared to put an arm around you, pulling you closer to him so your head was now resting on his chest. He feared he had overstepped the boundary but you made no complaint and placed your hand beside your head on his chest. A small smile flickered across your face as you snuggled into Sam, his warmth washing over you and making you even more tired. Sam watched the credits for the movie roll out and was about to speak to you when he noticed your eyes were closed and your breathing had regulated out. His heart flipped at your sleeping form and he brushed the hair out of your face, turning the TV off and moving to get up. Your hand tightened on his sweatshirt though and a soft grumble came from you, "Dont leave." You mumbled, holding onto Sam. He nodded and scooched down in the bed so you were both comfortably laying down, "Night love." He said, stroking your back soothingly, "Night Sammy." You whispered, falling back asleep. You woke up, surprisingly warm and went to stretch when you felt a hard object in your bed. Your eyelids flickered open to reveal a softly sleeping Sam sprawled out onto your bed, your legs entangled. He looked so peaceful asleep, the creases that often littered his face due to worry smoothed out and leaving him looking even more heavenly. You smiled and went to get up, suddenly feeling an arm tighten around your waist and pull you towards Sam. "Where do you think you're going love?" He murmered, voice deep and laced with sleep. Your heart pounded and you looked at Sam who still hadn't bothered to open his eyes. "It's Christmas morning Sammy." You said, laying with his arm draped over your stomach. "Exactly- Buck and Steve won't arrive for another 3 hours yet so we can cuddle for longer." Sam replied, eyes opening to look at you, a smile cheekily spreading onto his face. "What-no-" You started, not understanding Sam's reasoning at all. He closed his eyes and tightened his grip on you, moving so he was closer to you as he was lying on his front. "Just shut up and cuddle me." He said, smirking as he already nuzzled into your side more. You gave up, knowing you really didn't want to pass up the free offer to cuddle your favourite avenger for a bit longer. Maybe Christmas without your family wouldn't be so bad after all.
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