#id like to say that i had this thought while taking a shower and forgot until now

[thecherrygod]

Swap au Kim gets drunk and there's a sweet spot in which he's having the time of his life and manages to forget all that's fucked up in his existence just going with the flow and everyone besides him no matter who they are and how the treat him, but less drunk than that and he'll get sober too soon and everythings gonna hit him all at once making him feel twice as miserable, or he'll get even more drunk to the point it completely switches and the happiness and getting along with whoevers nearby morphs into over trusting and sad and as soon as someone is like "look man you're not fine you should go home" he takes it too personal and won't be against getting into fights

[copperbadge]

[ID: Four images; top left is a bright white light mounted on the ceiling of a shower, and the top middle is the remote control for it, mounted sideways on a wall. The top right is an overhead light in my front hallway, which is an unusual shade of green. Bottom image shows a window in the corner of my living room, with a star-shaped lamp hanging in the middle of it, gently glowing with light.]

Ironically, this is all photography of the stuff I didn't intend to do today.

I've been considering getting an offsite storage unit (more on this in another post) and it turns out some good friends who live nearby were also, but neither of us need a TON of space, so we decided to go in halves on the unit. They're a little more prepared than I am to move in, but they also have a car and will help me move my stuff when they move theirs, so for the next week or until the project is done, I'm mostly going to be packing big plastic bins with stuff I'm taking to storage. And all the bins I currently own have my full name on them in big block letters, so I won't be photographing those.

A side-effect of this, however, is that in the "DIY" bin (which will not be going to storage but needed weeding) I uncovered a light bulb that fits my star light, which had been flickering due to a dying bulb. So I got out Darth Ladder and changed the bulb. I figured as long as the ladder was out, I'd replace the bathroom lamp with a remote-control version, and that's a whole comedy of errors, but suffice it to say this one, which has a remote and doesn't NEED good motion sensing, actually has great motion sensing. So while I hung the remote on a magnetic bracket nearby, I probably won't need to use it much. I had to hang it sideways to get it to work, so now it does kind of look like my toilet has a control panel.

I found one other lightbulb in the DIY bin, a Kasa smart bulb -- I bought one for my bedroom floor lamp so I could turn the light on without getting out of bed, but they come in packs of two and I'd just kind of stashed the other one to deal with later, then forgot about it. As long as I was already running around risking death on Darth Ladder, I thought I'd install one in my hall lamp. I have two hall lamps on one switch, but I like to leave the front-door lamp on when I go out so that I don't come back to a totally dark hallway. This way, I can turn the smart lamp (nearer the living room) off so I don't have two unnecessary lights burning.

Also as you can see, it has some rad color settings, so if I want to have a little hallway rave, I can.

I sometimes find listening to new podcasts kind of challenging, so today I had some comfort-listening: The "Art Nouveau" and "De Havilland Comet" episodes of Well There's Your Problem. The Art Nouveau episode is a "bonus episode" you get with a Patreon membership and that episode alone is worth the $2 a month.

[smolkiwi98]

Hi! I had sent you a request about reader (if you can make the gender not specific, id appreciate it) being Dean and Sam's cousin and taking them to play rpg because Dean would 100% love it and Sam is probably going to have fun to. And when they are getting there they ask the reader about that friend group, if they met while hunting or something and you're like "about that, there's something i was going to tell you" and Eddie (stranger things) opens the door and is all like "baby, you're here!" and pecking the reader's lips. The brothers are a little protective over their cousin who is playing as the dungeon master and Dean makes it so his character is always provoking Eddie's character or fighting him in the game at first

Okay okay...I know it's been awhile, but here's the first half!! A lot of stuff has been going on and a lot of changes! I hope you like it!!

WARNING!! NOTHING! JUST NOT PROOFREAD AND KIND OF RUSHED

masterlist

make a request here!

“Hey, Eddie?” You called out of the bathroom. After a few seconds your boyfriend was right at the door, “Yeah?” He asked. His hair was in a low messy ponytail and his forehead had a little oil on it from working on his car. You smiled and held onto your towel. “My cousins are coming over today.” Eddie gave you a confused look “They are? Did you tell me and I forgot?” His eyes widened at that small thought which made you chuckle “No, they just called me. They’re in town and wanted to stop and say hello.” You explained. Eddie nodded his “Have I met them?” Eddie has met a few of your family members, but these two were never around much. You shook your head “Nope! I haven’t seen them since I was about 13.” You smiled. Eddie could tell you were excited about the visit, “I guess I should get showered then.” He said matching your smile.

You were in the kitchen baking some pie (a request from your cousin) when there was a knock on the door. Eddie was still in the shower, he complained about having oil and dirt in his hair so he would be a minute. When you opened the door there stood the two very tall mysterious men in your family, “Sam! Dean!” You said wrapping your arms around them both. The two laughed and patted your back “How’ve you been, kid?” Dean asked, looking at you. You shrugged “I’ve been good! I finally moved out of my moms house.” You said with a small chuckle, “How is she doing?” Sam asked. Again you shrugged “I assume she’s good. I haven’t spoken to her in a while to be honest.” The two brothers nodded and gave each other a look. “Oh! Come in!” You said stepping aside for them to walk in “Dean there’s a pie on the table. I just took it ou-and he’s gone.” Sam laughed, “Yeah…nothing has changed with him.”

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled. Both you and Sam ran into the kitchen ‘What? What’s going on?” You asked in a panic. You look around and see Eddie sitting at the table with a slice of pie and Dean looking confused and a little upset, “I thought you said it was my pie.” Dean said. Sam shook his head, “Dude there’s plenty of pie there. Just take a slice.” He said, sounding annoyed with his brother. Dean grumbled something and took a slice before sitting down “Who is this anyway?” Dean asked. Sam sat down next to him and you sat next to Eddie, “Sam…Dean, this is my boyfriend, Eddie!” You said with a smile “Eddie these two are the cousins I told you about.” Eddie was a little shy but gave them a smile “Y/N, has told me a lot about you guys. It’s nice to meet you both.”

~ One Hour Later ~

“So you’re saying the dragon can’t die…like at all?” Sam asked, “Exactly! But, there is a way to kill it! The players just have to figure it out.” Eddie answered. The two have been going on and on about DnD once Sam saw a d20 laying on the counter. You and Dean sat there confused. “Do you get any of this?” Dean asked, you shook your head “I’ve tried playing so many times and I’ve sat in during games and still don’t understand.” You said. Dean chuckled and finished his beer, “How did you meet this guy anyway?” He asked “School actually. I was new to the school because ya know…mom homeschooled me and I had no one to sit with at lunch.” Dean looked at you “So lanky frizz hair invited you to his table?” You laughed and pushed him playfully “Yes…and his hair is not frizzy!” Dean looked at you and then back at Eddie “I don’t trust him.” You rolled your eyes, “You don’t trust anyone, Dean.” You looked at Eddie and smiled at how him and Sam were geeking out over his DM binder, “But trust me. He’s a good guy…He’s not an asshole.” Dean raised an eyebrow at you and then stood up “I’ll judge that myself.” He said while walking over to Sam and Eddie, “Alright dorks…tell me what’s going on with these dragons and elves and other crap.” He said before sitting down. You shook your head and grabbed the empty bottles and dirty plates and went to the kitchen.

Throwing away the bottles and placing the dishes in the sink you heard Sam come in, “Hey!” He said, smiling at you. You smiled and turned around to look at him “Hey! You having fun?” Sam nodded his head, “Yes actually. Eddie is a pretty cool guy.” You smiled “Yeah, I think so too.” You said with a small chuckle.

To be continued….

[keefwho]

March 06 - 2024 Wednesday

10:31pm

6/10

This morning I took a little time to myself in the shower to clear my mind and hopefully get hungry. I didn't have an appetite but I made soup in a box and ate the whole thing. I had to use the bathroom and it made me a little late to Jared's ride. His car was very small, I felt cooped up in his car. We talked about my feelings and his experiences as well, specifically instances of him getting pissed at people in the military. He mentioned how there are some things he can't talk to his wife about without it actually causing more problems and this is something I learned too. It was more evidence that you need multiple people to compliment different aspects of yourself. Grocery shopping went smoothly, but I forgot to buy french fries. The old lady asked for my ID because of the drinks and I made a joke about not being expired despite my expired ID. On the way back I got to control the music and we chatted some more. I gave him a hug after we got all my groceries in. I put everything away and had to use the bathroom again. It wasn't a fun time and I decided to take another shower afterwards. I shamelessly enjoyed some 'me time' and baked in the hot water. At this point I decided to make today a self care day. When I got out, I sat down and relaxing while watching Forsen play a new Getting Over It sort of game. I ranted to Daisy about what self care meant and started composing a hierarchy of personal struggles to try and identify and relate them to one another. I cut up all the veggies I bought today for freezing and made stew for lunch. I ate the whole thing so I finally had a good meal in me. I sipped on a coke and decided to do a request today while I chatted with Turkey in VR. The conversation was pretty normal and after I finished the drawing, I felt like leaving. I told her that I didn't feel like socializing but what I actually meant was that I want to be social but I only want to talk about the struggles on my mind. She said she was here for it so I opened up about everything and we started talking. Her and her friend gave some very good perspectives and actually started helping me feel better about some things. Also a troll joined us to talk shit but we got him to open up about his problems genuinely too. I left to join Daisy and chill. We watched the last three episodes of Bojack which were very thought provoking and just stacked on to all the thinking I was already doing, in a good way. I felt good watching them with Daisy. I said goodnight to her since she didn't want to bed call. After she went to bed, I tried doing a little Babbdi stream while playing intercom vaporwave like I wanted to try. 1 guy showed up to say something but that was it. It was mostly about playing the game though and maybe using it as an opportunity to voice my thoughts some more. Towards the end I did that but most of it was spent quietly pondering.

~~~

Today after treating myself with some respect, I realized I want to talk about things more often in general. The past couple days have taught me how beneficial it is to open up when things are hard and how willing so many people are to listen. I don't have to put on a front, I can show up with the struggle at full strength. I've learned my cure to loneliness is to choose to not be alone. I also reminded myself about how important positive reinforcement is in general vs directly fighting something. So I'm working that into how I behave differently. Some part of me feels like I'm wearing a mask and that deep down, it's all still the same. Maybe thats true right now, but change takes time. Maybe I'm not going deep enough, I'll have to figure that out.

3 Things That Made Me Happy Today:

Taking some self care time.

Talking with Turkey and her friend about my feelings.

Watching Bojack with Daisy.

[satcrvz]

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER !

what happened when gojos bestfriend hits on you at the fair?

cw: gojo x f!reader, reader is shorter than gojo, profanity, also i wrote this with the idea of them being in college, but really it works for anything 1.6k words.

this was in my head in the shower… idk what provoked it but!! i did not proofread this.. title is a bea reference :>

holy shit he's an asshole gojo thought to himself. right now he was watching his best friend, geto, practically throw himself all over you in front of his face, while him and shoko wait in the concession line. gojo frantically takes out his phone, while simultaneously glaring at you and geto

GOJO suguru bro, i don't know what i did to you in a past life but PLEASE STOP 😭

GOJO stop flexing your tiny ass muscles to her she’s never gonna want me if you do that

GETO dude, you've had so many opportunities at this carnival, be romantic and win them a stuffy or some shit bro i dunno. make a move or i will

GOJO WE GOT HERE 15 MINUTES AGO>??

geto smirks, shuts off his phone, and places it back in his pocket. shoko she insisted on going with gojo to hold all the food. she could’ve stayed back with you. geto speaks up, "you cold?" you offer him a grin, "a little.."

if only it'd been satoru asking you, offering his jacket to you. you can dream, right?

your thoughts are cut off by him humming, his eyes on your face illuminated by the bright LED's and rides around you. if you didnt know any better you'd think — the voice in your head is once again cut off, but not by geto, gojo.

he's nearly sprinting, bumping into people and uttering apologies. "guys i got the food!!!" you slightly smile at his action, you've always liked that he could make you laugh. shoko's wearing a very obviously annoyed look while slowly trailing behind him holding a funnel cake and those big ass lemonade cups. why'd she go if she was only going to hold two things? satoru could've carried them.

"the lines were so long, guys you don't get it" gojo drags out the so long part, hoping you guys sympathize with him. "did you get my fries?" geto asks. "oh shit... looks like i forgot! i did get your nachos though bro."

shoko speaks for the first time since her and gojos return "he didn't forget, he did that on purpose. he's mad about -" "anyways! y/n, i didn’t know what you wanted so i just got a pretzel"

you smile and take them out of his hand so he has less stuff to carry, "thanks satoru, that was really sweet of you. id be happy with whatever you got me though!" shoko snickers while gojo sends geto a smug look.

╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗

you take a big inhale as you step up to the carnival game, all you had to was knock down the 3 stacked cups. damn this looks harder than i expected. gojo and geto were doing their own thing close by, and shoko was beside you rooting for you.

"fuck" was all you could say, unfortunately you only had 5 throws, and while you did manage to knock two down, the third one stayed standing so it didnt count. "its all good, you should go ask satoru to win it for you", she says satoru in almost a child like way, making fun of you for your crush on the white haired guy. the both of you scoot out the way, making room for the people in line to have a go.

"he wouldn't, not right now at least, he's over there yapping away to sugu" reaching toward shoko, who fortunately still had funnel cake, you stuff your mouth with a piece of it. while youre focused on eating, she exchanges a glance with geto, both of them nodding.

"hey y/n, i think im gonna go talk to suguru and go get another lemonade" shoko starts walking away, but you continue,

"oh okay thats fine! i might go get on the swings again" shoko had really done it this time. you can see her and suguru walking and laughing to each other as they walk around the carnival talking about god knows what. meanwhile, gojo makes his way toward you, quite awkwardly actually. you finish wrapping up your text to shoko which read;

TO: SHOKO im ngl, im actually going to hurt you!!! yk i can't be left alone w him in a place like this.. im going to embarrass myself

"where are they off to? suguru didnt tell me shit he just left with shoko" gojo runs his right hand through his hair.

"shoko told me she was going to get more lemonade, but i highly doubt it. she's gonna have to piss" the taller man in front of you laughs and starts talking,

"yeah, one day in freshman year, she told me she'd rather be dead than use a porta potty and that. . . " fuck why does he have to be so pretty? had his eyes always shined like that? maybe it was the lighting from the neon rides around you, but that doesn't distract you from the way his hair is blowing in the wind.

satorus voice finally is audible in your head again, ". . . anyways you wanna go on that ship ride? sugurus too chicken to go with me"

shit. "yeah! shoko's been too engrossed with that big ass funnel cake to go on rides, so we stuck to the mini games" "great cmon!" he grabs your wrist and guides you to the line. fortunately for the both of you, by the time you guys made it over there, the ride had ended and they were loading on new people.

╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗

"don't manspread asshole!" "sorry." satoru had undeniably long legs.

"you nervous?" he asks turning his head to look at you fully with a smile. "yeah im gonna fucking shit myself, if i fall out, i blame you."

"awhhh its okay, i wouldn't let you fall out you're too good for that"

"oh yeah? what would you do."

"intervene."

the employees check the last 2 people to make sure they're secure, and shortly after, the ride starts. somewhere along the seventh swing, you clasp both of your hands around satorus left hand. his hands were warm. he glances down and looks back up at you, "you 'bout to cry?" fuck him and his stupid condescending voice and pretty blue eyes.

"no im about to throw you off the ride im so terrified right now, and it’s kind of cold which isn’t helping” you remove your hands from his and cross them around your waist.

the ride ends and you could not be happier to have your feet back on stable ground. you look around for geto and shoko, hoping that they could magically find the two of you and make things less awkward.

gojo drapes his jacket over your shoulders but before you could even get a word out he explains, “you uh, mentioned you were cold on the ride” how are you meant to function if he’s looking down at you like that? “thanks but what about you?”, you put your arms through the sleeves of his jacket and zip it up halfway.

“don’t you see the resemblance? i’m elsa, the cold never bothered me anyway!” if you were a bystander, you’d think he was crazy with the way his hands were positioned on his hips like he was a super hero.

from his point of view, you were beautiful. it’s almost cinematic the way his mind nearly watches you laugh in slow motion, your smile was the brightest thing to him, even at night. i’m so in love with you. fuck did he say that out loud?

you’re taken by surprise, obviously. god you wish you could just facetime shoko and beg her for advice like the many times before. your lips were pressed together, and then you find the words.

“i’m sorry you’re what?” well.. maybe those weren’t the right words.

“i’m in love with you”, he says more confidently than before. “hey it’s completely okay if you don’t feel the same way, i can’t force you to like me back”

you feel the blood rushing to your cheeks, youd played out this and possibly 60 other different scenarios in your head about this happening. “nonono! i do like you back, i have for a while actually… i just didn’t expect for this to be happening you know?”

he rubs the back of his neck with his hand, “well, ‘m glad you feel the same way” the moment between the two of you felt like you guys were the only two people in that carnival. both of your faces were inches away from eachother. it’s like—

“damn”, you could hear the smile in the persons voice, which obviously belongs to shoko. both her and geto are staring the two of you down. she holds out her hand to geto and he plants a 1000 yen in her hand.

“shoko oh my god” you go over to her and wrap your arms around her. “gross you have satorus jacket. do not touch me until you get that contaminated shit off” while you and shoko argue about that, geto speaks up to gojo, “you still didn’t win her a plush, you’re already on a bad start to being a boyfriend”

the taller one furrows his brows, “hey! we aren’t dating yet and i actually planned on it before you and idiot number 2’s entrance”

“nah bro i saw you, you looked like you wanted to punch your with her lips” ironically suguru punches satoru in the shoulder. “whatever! im gonna go win her one right now” — “cmon y/n” he grabs your arm once again and you give shoko a sympathy smile while she just laughs.

you’re not sure if the two of you are dating after that little confession, but whatever it was, you liked it.

[watercolorfreckles]

The Villain and His Therapist - Part 4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

"You know, that shade of pink looks lovely on you," Villain purred, descending the stairs to lean against the kitchen counter.

Juliet paused where she was scrambling eggs in a skillet and glanced down at her attire of soft blue pajama pants and oversized grey sweater. "I'm not wearing any pink," she said slowly, lifting her gaze to look at the Villain.

He'd just come down from a shower, dark locks of hair curling over his forehead. He smelled of her green apple shampoo. It made her insides swoop all funny.

Villain's lips tugged into an easy grin as he took one step closer, two. He paused directly in front of her to lift a hand, brushing his knuckles feather-light against her burning cheek.

"I was referring to your blush. It suits you quite beautifully." His voice was liquid gold. Her skin tingled beneath his touch.

Remembering herself, Juliet swatted his hand away and covered her cheeks with her palms. "I'm not blushing."

He didn't try to hide the amusement on his face.

"Mm, whatever were you thinking about, Doctor Meadows?" Villain took Juliet's hands to gently pry them away from her face, using the hold on her wrists to pull her closer.

Juliet sucked in a soft breath, looking up at him. The sun streaming through the window caught the highlights of his handsome face and illuminated his dark irises, turning them to molten amber.

"I...was...thinking about how gentle you can be. When you calmed me down that night, you were patient and sensitive; you displayed a lot of empathy and care. I'm really proud of you. You've come a long way."

Villain's grin grew a little softer as he tilted his head to the side, studying her face. The way he looked at her used to make her feel like prey being stalked by a lion. Now...it made her feel like she was the only thing in his universe.

Her stomach fluttered.

Juliet swallowed, continuing. "I imagine it isn't easy for you to be so vulnerable. I'm glad that you feel safe enough with me to be soft."

Villain brushed her fringe away from her face, tapping the side of her head. "That psychologist brain of yours never turns off, does it?"

She smiled sheepishly, gaze dipping down to the floor.

Villain's finger hooked under her chin, lifting it gently. "I never said I didn't like it. You are my therapist, after all."

Villain leaned in closer, eliciting the slightest hitch in her breath. He smiled, relishing her response.

His breath ghosted over her lips, leaving them tingling in anticipation.

"Yours?" she asked softly. Her mouth had gone dry.

"Would you like to be?"

Juliet's thoughts were rarely clear on her face. She was difficult to read under the years of training keeping her steady and prepared. Villain wanted to unpick that artificial calm from her; to map her every reaction. He wanted to watch her sigh and blush and smile...

"The eggs are going to burn," Juliet whispered, watching him.

Without taking his eyes off of her, Villain reached over her shoulder, turning off the stove. In one fluid movement, he turned with her, pressing her back against the counter.

If her cheeks were warm before, they were blazing now. Villain smiled again, this time something so fond it dazzled her senses. The world narrowed to just the two of them, flush together.

Juliet's hands fell against Villain's chest, lightly resting against the soft cotton of his shirt.

She breathed in his scent.

"Villain?"

"Mm?" he murmured, the hum of his voice vibrating against her palms.

"When your brother- What he said about how you feel...about me... Is it true?" She held his gaze, holding her breath.

"My sweet Juliet Meadows." His voice alone was enough to melt her. He took one of her hands with deliberate gentleness and placed a kiss against her fingers. "If only I were brave enough to say it out loud."

"You can say it in other ways," Juliet breathed.

His eyes gleamed.

"Oh I intend to," Villain said softly.

Villain's gaze flicked down to Juliet's lips. He kept one hand on her waist, slotting the other into her hair. He leaned in until their lips brushed. Pausing, he seemed to catch himself, probably remembering Juliet's comments in therapy about the importance of healthy communication.

He smiled again, sharp and beautiful. His warm breath grazed her skin while his thumb traced lazy circles against her jaw. "May I?" he whispered, his lips hovering just barely above hers.

Juliet opened her mouth to answer, and-

The door burst open.

Juliet jolted in surprise, panic shooting through her as she gripped Villain's arms before she caught sight of who was really at the door.

The figure was fitted in a deep red super-suit, a black mask concealing his identity.

She relaxed, releasing a breath through gritted teeth. "Hero?"

"Doctor Meadows," Hero said, relief flooding his expression. "I heard what happened to you on the news and with Supervillain's escape, I knew you were in danger so I-"

His eyes narrowed as he seemed to notice Villain for the first time. "You get away from her," he hissed marching closer, crimson beams of tech-powered energy sparking to life in his palms. "Let her go and get out."

Villain hardened at the sight of him in turn, straightening and pulling out an advanced weapon. "Now that's insulting, at least I was invited inside." His voice was smooth and dangerous. Chilling.

A far cry from the man who had held her close and smiled fondly only moments ago.

Juliet stepped between them, holding up a hand in each direction. "Stop."

"You invited him in? Doctor Meadows, he's Supervillain's brother! He's probably here to finish the job for him!"

"Oh that's rich," Villain interjected. "For all your self-righteous monologues begging me to change, to be better, when I actually try, you can't accept it."

"I'm not willing to bet Doctor Meadow's life on your 'moral awakening,'" Hero spat.

"Hero," Juliet said in the no-nonsense voice her job often required her to use. "Take a deep breath. Villain would never hurt me, you don't need to worry about that."

"He-"

"-is in rehabilitation," Juliet finished for him. "He is my patient, just as you are. He has made tremendous progress, you are in no position to discredit his reformation. I promise you that I am safe with him."

Hero stared, studying the pair. Villain's jaw was clenched, glaring hard at the hero. Juliet touched his shoulder and some of the tension immediately dissolved from him.

Hero extinguished the energy beams in his palms, shifting into a less guarded stance. He regarded them for a second longer.

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"You want to prove you have good intentions? Help me find Supervillain and bring him in, for good this time," Hero said. "I can't do it alone."

Villain turned to look at Juliet. She stepped closer, taking his hand as she spoke.

"No. I don't want you to put yourself in a position where your recovery might be compromised again. You're too close to the situation to act rationally, and it would be too much of a trigger for you."

Villain's gaze softened as it landed on her, any hostility in his demeanor vanishing like it had never been there. He brushed her hair back with gentle fingers, leaning in. His thumb dipped down to graze her lips.

Villain kissed her cheek, her chin, the corner of her mouth. He straightened, eyes intent, looking like he wanted to kiss her properly--but not until they were alone.

When time would suspend like frost in the air and the moment would belong solely to the two of them, in the quiet and safety of each other.

Juliet's skin felt cold at the loss of his touch. Dread swirled in the pit of her stomach.

Villain turned to Hero, observing him for a moment before extending a hand to shake. "Deal."

Sorry I haven't posted in so loooong. I kept putting off writing this bc I was worried id mess it up lol. This is officially the longest series I've posted so far (the rest of my snippets have 3 parts or less) so wooo! Let me know if you want to see more :)

General Taglist: @writing-on-the-wahl , @valiantlytransparentwhispers , @distance-does-not-matter , @redbircl , @lilaccatholic , @crazytwentythrees , @thelazywitchphotographer , @deadlygemuwu, @chibicelloking , @lolafaiy , @thinkwrite5 , @putridghost , @tobeornottobeateacher , @sunflower1000 , @bouncyartist , @thanatoastie , @feyriddle , @yet-another-heathen , @silverwhisperer1 , (@distractedlydistracted i think forgot to tag you in the last part, oops)

You're on this list if you've asked to be tagged in any of my stories. Please let me know if you want to be added or removed. :)

Edit: the tags weren't working so I redid them through mobile, let me know if it worked!

[antpernas]

this post is just to send to my therapist but read if you want to hear the story of how I fell in love with Scorpio (copied from my instagram posts made at the time)

OK PART 1 STORYTIMEE so it was thursday evening i think and i was at bens house and i wanted to (nothing new) rip my head off bc ben was fucking irritating as always nothing new ! i was swiping on tinder no biggie and i matched with andy so i sent him a message telling him i thought he was cute, already within 5 seconds of convo i thought he was either a) just a really confident and aggressively extroverted person or b) legitimately insane, and then after five minutes he asked (since id only be there til sunday) if i wanted to meet up to play piano for funsies and i said Fuck yea! we met halfway at a cute little park and started chatting and he was suchhh a sweetheart and told me more about what this date was on the way back to his area, we ended up staying the night at a church he works at to play on their piano and just goof off but when i tell youuuuy i wasnt ready to a) be serenaded and b) be so encouraged and supported by himm...!!!! im already nervous about piano and playing for people bc im self taught and definitely playing for somebody whos classically trained (and that im trying to court no less) didnt help either but he was so sweet and so genuinely impressed and from the way he said he was going crazy for me i swearrr my heart started doing flipsss he was so sweet we literally just played music with/for each other with candles lit for like 2 hourss then after that we danced with each other and sang spanish love songs and then i geeked about classical music i liked to him and he listened through all my half baked analyses and he was just 🥺🥺🥺 unbelievaaableeeee

anyway we did end up fucking and sleeping in the church BUT besides the point anyway the next day he had promised to go to a weekend nudist retreat with his friend and i was like yes of course i had a wonderful time with you i hope u enjoy the retreat etc. but on the inside i was using my intestines to snap my ribs and stab myself in the heart and lungs bc i knew i was going to have to stay with ben the rest of the trip after such an amazing night... fast forward to friday evening and andy texts me saying his friend was being a prick and that if i was willing to hang out hed come back early and spend time with me... now mind you im not one to celebrate someones misfortunes nor encourage ill sentiment between people... but i DEFINITELY was very happy that i was going to get to see andy again so of course i said "yes please literally kidnap me" and so saturday morning we meet at the park again and he tells me about why his short trip was shit and i tell him about why mine had been shit bc i forgot to explain it thursday night and then we agree to forget about both our shitty gay friends and have fun so he takes me to laguna beach and we go free diving/snorkeling (its my first time) and as soon as we step back onto the beach from like 30 minutes of diving all he does is shower me in praise and kiss me and tell me how impressed he is and all i could think was 🥺 wow and tbh looking back im not sure if me losing my balance and breath at that moment was because of lack of oxygen or because of him flattering me but anyway we got all our stuff and went to a second point to snorkel again, it was high tide so it was hard to get past the rocky part at first and he ended up getting cut trying to wait for me but he assured me it was ok and we swam out together and saw some beautiful sea grass fields and kelp forests 🥺🥺 then after that we went and got dinner and i managed to cover the bill while he was in the bathroom jejeje >:) he tried to pay me back but i just used the cash he gave me as an extra tip (a 100% tip ! yup yup) then after that we went to a second beach and after like 30 mins of looking for parking managed to find a spot!! continued in next post

PART 3 but yea we found a spot and played volleyball and watched the sunset and once i started getting back into the groove of playing (i hadnt played in a HOTTT minute) he was sooo sweet and playfully competitive and im jushdktnrkdjr just so fun and then after that we walked down towards pier and he was blasting music and dancing and ngl i was rly nervous about it but everybody was just super chill and some ppl even started dancing w him and i thought it was so cutee so i just started dancing along side him all the way down to the showers to rinse off and at the showers we just full on started salsa dancing with each other and everybody was so supportive and im 🥺🥺 then after that we went back to the car and started driving back to LA and we came up w the idea to just get a hotel room and have him take me to the airport in the morning and we DID IT also mind you every single time we were in the car we were showing each other music and it was mostly me showing him music and then me geeking and fawning over different artists or pieces in front of him ANYWAYprobably the weirdest part was dropping by bens place to get my stuff but yknow what the brief minute of awkwardness was WORTHHH getting to spend the rest of my time with andy cuz the hotel was so cute we just cuddled and ordered thai food (they fucked up our order so we got a second batch of food for free) and listened to more music and im just 🥺 the next morning he had to rush out because we woke up late and he had promised a friend of his to pick her up from somewhere and he ended up leaving his shirt behind and i still dk if it was on purpose 🥺 after that i took a lyft to the airport and yeah that was my story of how i became obsessed w this cute music teacher 🗿

[sirtommyholland]

Four Years of Birthdays

A/N: Hey everyone! This isn’t my first time writing for Harry but my first time actually posting it so I’m very excited! This is inspired by the little piece I wrote on Tom Holland’s birthday, I wanted to make a similar concept. Hope you guys like it, and happy birthday to our beloved baby boy Harry Styles! We love you so much!💜

Word Count: 2.4k (she tiny because I suck)

Summary: Harry’s four different birthdays with Y/N in differents points of his life. 

Fluff all the way! with like a little talk about sexual themes because I had to.

poc friendly and plus size friendly (I think, please tell me if I made a mistake!) because we dont blush bright red or swim in men’s clothes in this house💫

2019 - 25th Birthday

Spending his birthday with Y/N was one of Harry’s favourite things. Over the last ten years of his life, she had missed quite a few of them as he was on the road and she was back home in London, going to uni and living a normal life. It was only the last couple of years that he was able to be home on his birthday, his solo career allowing him a bit more freedom to arrange his schedule as he wanted. 

This year, he had wanted to have a quiet birthday, just with his family and close friends. And of course, his girlfriend, who was currently climbing on his back on the bed, trying to coax him out of sleep. 

“Loviee” she whined into the back of his neck between kisses. “Wake up.”

“No.” his voice was deeper than usual as he groaned, trying to bury himself more into the pillows to avoid the bright sunlight in the room. “‘M sleepy.”

“But it’s your birthday.” she protested with a kiss to a small part of his cheek that wasn’t hidden away. “I need to give you your 25 kisses.”

“Just 25?” he frowned, raising his head from the pillow to look back at her. “That’s nowhere near enough! You kiss me more on a regular day.”

“Hmm..” she pretended to ponder his words, one of her hands going up to brush away the soft curls that fell on his forehead. “Then how about I give you a blowie for 25 minutes?”

Even if she couldn’t see his face, she would still be able to hear the grin in his voice. “Now that’s more like it.” He was turning over and laying on his back in a heartbeat, tugging at her thighs to make her straddle him again. 

She complied, throwing one leg over his hips and gently sitting on thighs, not putting her full weight. She leaned down to softly brush her lips against his, once, twice, three times. “Happy birthday, baby.”  she sighed against them, rubbing her nose against his lovingly. 

“Thank you, angel.” he smiled, letting his hands roam over the soft material of her shirt. “I reckon it’s gonna be the best one so far.” 

“Really? Is there a reason why?” she grinned, feeling like she already knew the answer.

“Because this is the first one I’m waking up with you as my girlfriend. Finally,” he sighed. “I can kiss you for real instead of making a wish for it when I blow out the candles.”

“You’re so cheesy.” she teased with a smile, leaning down to give him another kiss. “I still can't believe you wished for it.”

“Literally every year.” he confirmed, only blushing slightly under her loving gaze. “Honestly don’t know what I’m gonna wish for this time. It’s been the same thing for many years.” 

“I’m sure you’ll come up with something.” She placed a final peck to his lips, then swiftly got up from his lap. “Now get up, your mum’s expecting us for breakfast.”

“But- but- my blowie!” 

She looked back to see an adorable pout on his lips, one that she almost couldn’t resist. Almost.

“Later.” she promised, pulling him to his feet and laying a few kisses on his neck. “I’m gonna take care of you properly tonight, after your party. Along with your final present.”

“You’re a tease.” he breathed, the meaning behind her words not so hidden. She grinned, and trailed her hand softly down his back until she was grabbing his bum, giving it a firm squeeze. 

“Heyy!” he jumped, trying to grab her before she made a run for the bathroom, and failing.

“Pick your outfit, it takes ages!” she yelled through the closed door, making him huff and fall back on the bed dramatically. 

“Harry Edward Styles!” Well, guess she knew him too well.

“Yes, ma’am!”

2009 - 15th birthday

“Hello.”

Harry raised his head from the plastic cup he was refilling, to see a familiar girl looking at him with a friendly smile. 

“Hi.” he smiled back as he straightened up, silently giving her the cue to go on. 

“Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say that I really liked your performance. You guys were incredible!” 

“Oh, thank you! Of course you’re not bothering me. I’m glad to know you liked it.” He grinned. “We’re at the same school, right? I’ve seen you around before.”

“Yeah, but we’ve never actually talked, I think. I’m Y/N, by the way. Will invited me because I live next door.” she explained, nodding towards his bandmate that was currently hosting his birthday party/small concert in his garage. 

“You don’t need to explain yourself! Next time, I’ll just have to make sure that I invite you myself.”

She grinned at his words. “That’s very nice of you, Harry. Oh, and happy birthday, by the way! I almost forgot.” Right, she was at his birthday party. She already knew his name. 

“Thank you! And thanks for coming.” 

Before she could open her mouth to say anything else, the lights were dimmed and the back entrance of the garage was illuminated with a soft, orange light as his friends brought in the cake. Off-key voices singing him happy birthday filled the space, and he made his way to his friends with a huge smile on his face, Y/N joining the small crowd around him as they waited for him to blow out the candles.

“Don’t forget to make a wish!” one of his mates yelled just as he was leaning towards the cake. 

“Sorry.” he chuckled, then closed his eyes to make his wish. I want to make music. For all my life.

Little did he know, that would be his only wish in the next ten years that didn’t involve the girl that he had just met. 

2016 - 22th birthday

“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling twenty-two! Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you!”

“What the fuck.” he muttered into his pillow, trying to figure out if he was dreaming or if his phone was actually ringing with a Taylor Swift song. But even when he was wide awake after a few minutes he could still hear her melodic voice, so he reached out with a groan and checked the caller ID. Of course.

“How did you manage to change my ringtone all the way from London?” he answered in a groggy voice. 

“Well, good morning to you too, hun, took you long enough! I’m very good, thanks for asking! And I got Niall to do it yesterday, obviously.” 

“... Morning Y/N.” 

“Oh, stop grumbling, it doesn’t suit you. Get up and get ready, I’m gonna facetime you in thirty minutes.” And before he could say anything, she hung up on him. 

He looked at this phone in disbelief. Did she just hang up on me on my birthday?! He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the soft smile that appeared on his face. To be honest, there were a lot of things he couldn’t help when it came to her. 

Half an hour later, when he was freshly showered and dressed, his phone rang with an incoming facetime call just like she said. She probably set an alarm for exactly thirty minutes, he thought fondly.

Her smiling face greeted him as he accepted the call. “Happy birthday, Haz!!”

“Thanks, love.” he chuckled, eyeing the tiny cupcake in front of her through the small screen. “Whatcha got there?”

“That’s your birthday cupcake, made it myself! Was tired of shitty store-bought cake.” 

“I don’t know, it looks kind of ugly.” he joked, grinning at her mock-offended face. “I could do better. I worked in a bakery, ya know.”

“You literally just ran the register and washed the dishes.”

“Still, in a bakery!” 

She was shaking her head at his shit-eating grin, but he could still see a soft smile playing at her lips. It caused his heart to flutter in his chest. What he wouldn’t give to see her smiling at him like that everyday. 

“Anyway, candle time!” she piped, grabbing a lighter from somewhere behind the camera and lighting up the single candle on her tiny cupcake.  

Harry watched her raise the cupcake closer to the camera and she instructed him to make a wish. This routine was familiar to them now. Every year, she would video call with a different type of cake, to make up for not being able to be there with him.

Harry closed his eyes, and made the same wish that he had been making for the last six years of his life. I wish you were mine. 

He opened his eyes and blew lightly towards the screen, her actions matching his as she blew out the candle in his place. She gave a little cheer afterwards, and the brightness of her eyes warmed him up all the way down to his toes, even through a phone screen. 

They talked for a while after that, catching up on each other’s lives and discussing the dates they would be able to meet up again. She hung up with a final ‘happy birthday, love you!’ and then he was left staring at his phone, a small smile still remaining on his face. I wish you were mine. 

And later, when he logged onto his twitter account and tweeted some certain song lyrics, he only cared about one person’s reaction out of millions. 

2018 - 24th birthday

“Hey. I’ve been looking for you.” 

Harry turned towards the kitchen door that led to the back garden, seeing her slide it close to make her way towards him.

“Just taking a breather, love.” he said, accepting his woolly coat that she handed him. “Thank you.”

“Didn’t want you to catch a cold.” She sat next to him on the wooden porch bench, wrapped up in her own fuzzy coat. There was another item in her hand, a thick, heavy looking box. 

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at it. 

“Oh, I came here to give it to you. Your final gift.” 

“Y/N.” he sighed. “The others were more than enough.” 

“I don’t think this even counts as my gift, honestly.” She grinned at the puzzled look on his face. “Just open it.” 

He did. Inside was a thick notebook, a scrapbook by the looks of it, that read ‘Happy Birthday Harry! - 2018’ 

He looked at her curiously, but she just smiled and told him to open it again. He turned to the first page, and ran his gaze across the page. His eyes widened in surprise. He quickly flipped a few pages to see that all of them had the same thing; printings. Printed screenshots from various social media platforms, of his fans wishing him a happy birthday. 

“I know you don’t use social media a lot these days.” she explained as he kept reading the tweets glued onto the scrapbook. “But you were trending on Twitter today, and yesterday too, lots of people wishing you a happy birthday and telling how much they loved you. I thought you might want to see it.”

He let out a watery laugh, not being able to tear his gaze away from the book in his hands. He couldn’t help the tears, not really. She had taken the time to print out lots and lots of tweets, instagram posts, everything; she had cut them and put them in this book and added little stickers in between with colorful doodles. And she had done it to carry his fans’ messages to him, she had basically hand-delivered their gifts of love to him.

“Thank you.” he breathed, his voice catching in his throat. “This is… I think this may be the best gift I’ve ever received.”

“Well, like I said, it’s not technically from me. I just put some tweets together, your fans are the ones who wrote them.” She paused, then added. “I just wanted you to see just how loved you are. By everyone. You have such a kind heart, and an amazing soul; all of these people are aware of it and they love you for it.” She tapped the book in his lap, emphasising her words. 

“Thank you.” he repeated himself, seemingly at a loss for words. He closed the book and carefully put it back in its box, intending to read everything in it later. He placed it beside him, then turned to her and pulled her in a hug. 

Her arms were around him in a second, not hesitating to tighten around him and pull him closer. She was so warm even in the cold weather, and she smelled so nice, and he wouldn’t be able to pull back if he tried. He didn’t know how long they sat there in each other's embrace, but when he felt her starting to lean back, something in him shifted. He turned his head towards her as she pulled away, so his cheek was softly grazing hers. She stilled a bit, looking into his eyes as if she was looking for something, then she closed her eyes and turned the rest of the way, her lips meeting his in a gentle kiss. 

His breath hitched in his throat as his lips slightly parted, a small gasp making its way out of them when he realized finally, finally he was kissing her. He was kissing Y/N. This was really happening.

He brought a hand up to gently cup her cheek, his thumb stroking her cheekbone as they kissed, probably the softest, the most incredible kiss of his life. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe how amazing she felt against him, how her hands in his hair felt just right, how warm her cheek was under his hand. 

But despite every bone in his body wanting to kiss her forever, he was the first one to pull away, because he just couldn’t keep it in anymore. “I wish you were mine.” 

“What?” she asked breathlessly, apparently still under the effect of their kiss.

“I wish you were mine.” he repeated. “That’s the wish I’ve made on every single birthday since I was sixteen. Everytime you looked at me and told me to make a wish, I was only able to think about how much I wanted to kiss you.” 

She stared at him with parted lips, looking into his eyes like she was trying to figure out if he was messing with him. She could only see love and admiration. 

“You’re an idiot, Harry Styles.” she breathed. Then, she cupped his face with her hands and kissed him again, and again, and again, and he felt like everything in his life was finally going to be okay. 

 some end notes: Sooo I’m sorry for the kind of shitty ending. It’s literally 3 am in Turkey rn and I have an early class but I just wanted to finish this quickly and post it before I went to bed. I haven’t written anything in months because I wasn’t 🌌feeling it🌌 so I basically bullied myself into writing this haha. This is my first posted Harry piece but there are a few other pieces I’ve been working on! (for months, literally. *sigh*)

~~

If you liked it, please feel free to reblog and leave a teeny tiny feedback! Writers really appreciate it!💜

[wordsnwhiskey]

As It Should Be | Chapter 4: Company

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x F!Reader x Frankie Morales

Summary: Whiskey gets a surprised call and he and Frankie have a long talk.

Rating: M

Warnings: Talks of drug use, alcohol, mentions of character death, mentions of canon typical violence, PTSD, violent nightmare

A/N: I really wanted this conversation to happen between these two given their respective histories. We all know that Whiskey needed therapy and in this verse he gets it. It’s also my HC, from what I vaguely know (I’m not an expert and I could be very wrong), that Whiskey was an officer in the Air Force where he flew/placed in jets and that’s how he knows how to fly an F-22 (The Silver Pony).

We are getting some angst and some fluff this time folks!

Also, yes I do have a specific soap in mind for Whiskey, it's Old Glory by Duke Cannon

Huge special thanks to mi esposa @danniburgh and my friend Agent Capri Sun for the betas and encouragement!!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Chapter 3: Statesmen & Demons | AO3

He was drowning. He needed...something. He needed help.

Frankie pulled his phone out, went to the recent number that was, as of yet, unsaved, and pressed ‘call’. His shaky hand brought the phone up to his ear as the line rang.

Whiskey’s hair was still wet from his shower, and his white t-shirt clung to his damp skin. Eyeing the take out on his counter, he sank into his couch and smiled at your texts:

Whiskey: Thai sound good, sweetheart?

Bourbon: God yes Jack, I’m starving!

Whiskey: I’ll let you know when I get outta the shower, see you soon sweetheart

He was just about to send you a message to come on over when his phone rang. Glancing at the clock on his stove, then back to the unfamiliar Texas number on his caller ID, he frowned.

“Whiskey.”

His greeting was curt. Who the hell would be calling at 8:30 pm on a Wednesday?

“H-hey Whiskey, it’s me, Frankie. Is… uh, is she there?”

Whiskey’s frown deepened, not that he minded Frankie calling him, far from it, but his voice was cracking like he’d been... crying?

“Oh, hey there, Flyboy. No she isn’t, do you need me to get her?”

“N-no, no… I, uh, I don’t want her to see me right now. I’m, uh,” Whiskey could hear Frankie take a deep breath on the other side of the line. “I’m having a bad night, Jack. Could you come get me? I’m at the hotel.”

Jack shot straight up, practically leaping to his feet.

“Did you…?”

The question clung to the air like lead, crushing both of their chests in the silence.

“No, I haven’t… I just… fuck.”

Jack was moving, grabbing his leather jacket, keys, and Stetson, practically sprinting out the door.

“Don’t worry about it, Flyboy. I’m headed your way.”

He shifted his weight while he waited for the elevator to take him to the parking garage, shooting off a quick text to you in apology. Frankie’s words, “I don’t want her to see me,” rung in his ears and he decided to hold off on telling you what had come up, at least until he could see you at the office tomorrow.

Whiskey: Hey sweetheart, sorry something came up and I can’t do dinner tonight. Everything’s fine, see you at the office, sugar. X

Your phone went off and you quickly unlocked it, eager to hear back from Jack so you could head over. A frown pulled the corners of your lips down at his text, but you knew he wouldn’t cancel on you without good reason.

You: See you tomorrow, cowboy. Better make it up to me ;)

Frankie had left the door slightly ajar and was pacing around his room, arms crossed in front of him when he heard a quick knock, then the handle was turning and Whiskey crossed the threshold. He took a cursory glance around the room: nothing but minibar booze bottles, thankfully. Whiskey let out a sigh of relief that was short-lived when he took in Frankie’s demeanor. Frankie’s face was taut with shame, and his gaze refused to rise any higher than Whiskey’s boots.

“I didn’t know who else to call,” Frankie choked out, “ Pope, and Hawk… I can’t disappoint them again. I’ve been clean for three years, and I didn’t…”

Jack shook his head and beckoned Frankie over, wrapping his arm around the other man’s shoulders and pulling him in for a quick, tight hug.

“C’mon, Flyboy, this is not the time nor the place to talk about this. I’m taking you back to my place, and we’re gonna have some whiskey that’s much better than what you’ve had here, and then we can talk.”

Frankie nodded and grabbed his hat, planting it on his head as Whiskey tugged him out of the hotel room. He was so deep in his thoughts and his guilt for having Whiskey come out that he didn’t realize where he was until the elevator dinged. Whiskey unlocked and opened the door to his condo, giving way to a view so incredible Frankie almost forgot to breathe. Across from the entryway, on the far side of the condo, the gorgeous New York night skyline twinkled back at them from beyond the wall of glass windows. Frankie marveled at the rustic elegance of Jack’s home. It had an entirely open floor plan, giving Frankie a view of the dark cherry butcher block island, the top-of-the-line range top, and other appliances, all immaculately clean. For a moment, he wondered if that was because Whiskey ordered out more than he cooked, but then he saw the bags of takeout on the counter and immediately felt guilty.

“I’m sorry, looks like I interrupted your dinner plans.”

Whiskey closed and locked the door behind him, hanging his jacket up on the nearby hook. He glanced over at the takeout, then put his hand on Frankie’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it, partner. I just told her something came up. You hungry? I ordered her Drunken Noodles, be a shame to put them to waste.”

Frankie was about to decline when his stomach rumbled, and Whiskey chuckled.

“C’mon, Flyboy, go sit down on the couch and I’ll bring the food and some whiskey round.”

With a nod, he toed his dress shoes off (they were all he had without his go bag) and made for the brown leather couch. He sat down a bit stiffly, feeling awkward given the circumstances. Whiskey brought over the containers of food, handing one to Frankie and resting his own on the coffee table before grabbing them the promised drinks. He sat down, and Frankie took his drink in one hand, relishing in the smooth burn as he took a sip, then set it down to dive into his food.

They ate in a relaxed and cozy silence. Frankie finished first, which wasn’t a surprise. When Whiskey finished, he took Frankie’s empty container with him to toss in the garbage before he made his way back. An awkward silence replaced the previous comfortable one, and Frankie found himself having a hard time pulling his gaze from the amber liquid in his glass. Whiskey took a deep breath, then turned on the couch to face Frankie.

“Santiago said you’ve been clean for three years? That’s quite the accomplishment.”

“Yeah, thanks. Doesn’t really feel like it right now. I feel like I failed. I’m worried I’ll slip up.”

“I don’t think you will, Frankie. Neither do Pope or Bourbon.”

Jack didn’t know why, but the words rang true in his mind, even though he hadn’t known Frankie for very long.

“You don’t seem like the kind of guy to throw three years of hard work away, Flyboy.”

A small smile tugged at Frankie’s lips and he took a sip from his glass.

“Must’ve been weird for Halcón. Last time she saw me, fuck, I was barely with it. The suspension hit me hard. I had been getting my shit together before Colombia and the funeral. I just wanted to be able to fly. I couldn’t and still can’t stand the idea of being grounded. That, and I knew my fianceé would leave me if I didn’t get it together. But then, well, we all went to Colombia.”

“I couldn’t imagine being grounded. I don’t fly often, but to not have the option? I dunno what I’d do.”

Whiskey shook his head and grimaced. Frankie perked up, head snapping to meet Whiskey’s gaze.

“You fly?”

“Mmmhmm, was in the Air Force for a bit, did jets. Statesmen has an F-22, the Silver Pony, that I fly.”

A small buzz of excitement was washing over Frankie, and he subconsciously scooted closer to Whiskey. He didn’t really have anyone to talk to about flying, even if helicopters and jets were two very different means of flying.

“What made you risk it, Flyboy? What happened in Colombia?”

Frankie frowned and let out a deep sigh.

“Pope had been down there for a few years, chasing a narco named Gabriel Martín Lorea. He finally got a break when his CI told him she knew where he was hiding out and where he was stashing his money. He showed up outta the blue asking us, our old team, to come down and do recon, $17k just for a week of recon. If we wanted to stay on after that, we’d be entitled to 25% of whatever we seized, and the rumour was that Lorea had $75M on him. I’m guessing Halcón was busy with a mission for you guys, and I’m glad she was. It ended up being a fucking shitshow.”

Whiskey noted the faraway look in Frankie’s eyes as he sighed and took another swig from his glass, shaking his head as Frankie recalled the events.

“After the recon, Pope said he thought we could do the job ourselves, take all the money and not tell the local governments. We found out that the local agency hadn’t been the ones to pay us the $17k. That had come out of Pope’s pocket. He was so sure that the locals were on Lorea’s payroll, and if he went to the local agency, Lorea would disappear with the money. At the end of the day, none of us could say no. Turned out the rumors of Lorea having $75M were wrong. The house was stuffed, literally, with cash. Tom, our captain, got greedy. He ignored our hard-out time and insisted we take more loads of cash. We ended up stealing close to $250M, then we burned the house down.”

Whiskey whistled. “$250M is a lot of money, partner…”

Frankie barked out a humorless laugh, his eyes rueful.

“Too much. Our helo couldn’t take it all and make it over the Andes. I knew it before take off, and I warned Tom and Pope, but all any of us could see was the money. Tom didn’t want to leave it on the runway. I almost had us over the Andes when a gearbox blew, and I had to get us back to flat. We had to cut the money net, and it was just our luck that it happened to be over a coke farm. It was a bad landing. I honestly don’t know how none of us were seriously injured, but Pope and Tom went to go and convince the farmers to get out of the money. Our comms were out, so we were going off of hand signals. Tom got too trigger happy, and he dropped a few of the villagers. I-I provided cover fire, too…”

Frankie hung his head, no matter how much Will, Benny, or Pope had tried to reassure him, he still held an enormous amount of guilt over what had happened. He felt Whiskey’s hand rest on his shoulder, and he leaned into the touch.

“That’s what you were trained to do, Flyboy. You couldn’t have known any different, especially without comms.”

Frankie nodded, taking a large gulp of his whiskey, then continued on.

“A couple days later, we took fire in the mountains, and they got Tom. It ended up being a kid and another guy from the coke farm. We killed them, but there was nothing we could do for Tom. Headshot, he died instantly. 10 years we all served together, and then he was gone, leaving behind an ex and two daughters. It could have been any one of us though, Jack… we all took lives during that mission. Tom just took the wrong ones. It… it could have been me even, I shot some of those villagers, too.”

Frankie felt Whiskey’s grip on his shoulder tighten and looked up to see the empathetic sadness of someone who truly understood how he felt reflected back in Whiskey’s eyes. Frankie cleared his throat.

“We ended up bailing on a lot of the cash, taking only what we could carry in our daypacks and tossing the rest in a ravine so we could haul Tom’s body out with us. At the end of it, we made out with around $5M, but we all agreed it should go to Tom’s family. I got back to find my fianceé had left. She couldn’t stand my leaving with Pope. Looking back, my addiction is probably what really did us in, but I was devastated to come home to an empty house after everything that had happened. Things got… dark after that. I fell back on old habits, fuck, I had barely been clean a few months when we went to Colombia. I didn’t want to think about what we’d done there, didn’t want to feel the emptiness, didn’t want to sleep and deal with the nightmares. I was a mess, and I… uh, I took too much one day. Pope found me unconscious, lying on the ground, and got me to the hospital. When I came to, I realized I didn’t want to end up dead in my shitty apartment, once they discharged me, I checked into rehab.”

Frankie took another drink. No one other than Pope knew that knocking on death’s door had been the turning point for him. Whiskey chewed on his lip, taking a drink and debating whether he should share his past as well.

“Drugs are… a terrible thing to get hooked on. My high school sweetheart, carrying my unborn son, was murdered by two meth head freaks robbing a fucking convenience store. I was on leave from the Air Force, waiting for them to come home when I got the call. I didn’t realize how much it festered in me until about a year back when we were taking down the Golden Circle.”

Frankie nodded. He remembered that he had been glad he was clean by then.

“I’m sorry, Whiskey… I didn’t know, I shouldn’t have-”

Jack’s hand moved from Frankie’s shoulder to rub his back reassuringly.

“Listen, the things you’ve done and seen for our country… and not, well, it’s a lot, and I know it’s not the same as the freaks who… it’s not the same. I almost sabotaged the mission. My hate-addled brain thought it would be justice… It was Bourbon who very literally knocked me on my ass and kept me from making a decision I’d regret. She encouraged me to see a Statesmen counselor, which has been a lot of work, but has been more helpful than I ever thought it would be. Have you thought about that?”

Frankie was distracted for a moment by Jack’s hand. It felt nice, reassuring, safe, things that had been sorely lacking for him today.

“I have and I did, well, I had to as part of the program, and I kept it up for a bit after. It helped, but… I couldn’t really talk about what happened with Tom. Sure there’s confidentiality and all that, but what we did is all kinds of illegal. I couldn’t exactly bring that to a session or group.”

Frankie snorted, a ghost of a smile tugged at a corner of his mouth.

“Really though, aside from the program I was in after rehab to get my license back, I’ve gotten some hobbies and some other out-outlets. This was just a lot. I needed to not be alone.”

Jack cocked his head at the way Frankie stuttered and subconsciously fidgeted with the bandage on his right wrist. He had picked up from the night prior that Frankie had a thing for pain, and Frankie’s reaction when he had bandaged him up was further proof of that. But using it as his sole outlet or method of working through his issues was something he wouldn’t enable. His eyes narrowed, and before Frankie could blink, Jack snatched his left hand, mindful of the tender marks as he held fast and fixed Frankie with a hard stare. Frankie flinched at the sudden movement then his eyes widened a little.

“You know this ain’t a solution, Flyboy.”

Jack’s voice had an edge to it bordering on a growl. Frankie shook his head quickly.

“Shit, no, Whiskey, the i-impact p-play stuff, i-it’s an outlet, and it’s not my only outlet. I met my old partners, Sam and then later on her husband, a year and a half or two years ago. I was a year clean before I even had my first session with either of them. I met Sam when she booked a flight tour, and one thing led to another… She’d come back into town and sometimes her husband would come with, but we all kept everything pretty quiet. They helped me relax, and they had their fun.”

Frankie was doing his best to be nonchalant, but he couldn’t help the slight bitterness creeping into his voice. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Jack’s tone had thrown him off guard, unexpectedly stirring something in him. Whiskey, of course noticed on both counts, having been trained to do so. He could see through Frankie a mile away. Frankie nervously took another sip from his glass, shuddering as Whiskey’s thumb gingerly rubbed circles over the marks, seemingly accepting his explanation.

“You know, had I known about your… interests, I would have done things a bit differently last night, Flyboy.” He winked at Frankie, then smirked as he examined Frankie’s wrist more thoughtfully. “How are they doing?”

“G-good, thanks. And uh, well, you’re one of 3 people who know.” Frankie murmured.

Whiskey’s eyebrows raised slightly in surprise as he nodded and released Frankie’s hand.

“Really? Not Pope or Bourbon?”

“Are you kidding me? Pope would never let me hear the end of it. There are some things he doesn’t need to know.” Frankie chuckled and shook his head. “And Halcón? Well, there was never any reason for her to know. We never did anything together before last night.”

“How long has it been since you last saw Sam or her husband?”

Frankie downed the rest of his whiskey, eyes far away for a moment, remembering their last session, the sharp pain followed by a rush of endorphins and the occasional soothing praise. He shook his head gently, blinking himself out of his memories at the feeling of Jack’s warm hand on his knee.

“It’s been a while, six months? They moved overseas.”

There was a beat of silence, Whiskey could sense there was something up, it was a subtle shadow flitting across Frankie’s face. He decided to push a little more.

“Did you have feelings for them?”

“It was complicated.”

The edge in Frankie’s voice was tinged with pain, and he tried to cover it up with a laugh that came out humorless.

“I guess it isn’t that complicated. After six months, things shifted, and they made it clear I wasn’t part of their long term plan. It became very transactional, which was fine, but there was less and less... care after.”

“Oh.”

The response slipped from Jack’s lips, and he was momentarily stunned quiet before his temper began to flare. His index finger and thumb gently gripped Frankie’s chin, forcing him to meet his gaze.

“Listen carefully, Flyboy. What I did last night was the bare minimum of what someone should do in that kind of situation. Anything less is negligent. Christ, how was this ever stress relief for you if you were left to free fall afterwards?”

Whiskey’s voice was calm and even, but Frankie could see the fury raging in his eyes. Sensing Whiskey’s desire for understanding, he nodded then shrugged.

“I guess I’d try to go on a hike with one of the guys or go train at the gym.”

Silence fell between them, a muscle in Whiskey’s jaw clenching before he glanced at the clock and let out a deep sigh, willing himself to calm down.

“It’s already just about midnight, Flyboy. Why don’t you go shower, and I’ll put on a clean bandage for you once you’re done. You can use my bathroom. There’s a clean towel hanging you can use. Don’t worry about clothes, I’ll leave something for you to sleep in on my bed so you can change while I set up the guest room for you.”

Frankie was about to protest, saying he could do his own bandages, but Whiskey fixed him with a stare and shook his head.

“Go on Flyboy, get yourself in the shower. Head down the hall, second door on the left. Your room is across the hall. I’ll be waiting there with the medkit when you’re done.”

Whiskey took Frankie’s empty glass and stood, taking their glasses to the sink while Frankie got up and made his way to the shower. A pensive frown tugged at Whiskey’s lips. Tonight certainly explained a lot of things. The sharp fury that permeated Whiskey’s chest when they were talking about Frankie’s previous partners returned. How could someone not be bothered with aftercare? It was also clear that Frankie felt abandoned by them. On some level, the poor man was probably terrified of that happening again, if he even entertained the thought of something between the three of you. Whiskey waited a few moments until he heard the water running before heading into his room. He let out a sigh as he grabbed a white t-shirt and a pair of linen shorts for Frankie to wear, leaving them on the bed before he left to make sure the guest room was all set.

Frankie undressed quickly, folding his clothes and setting them down on the vanity in a neat pile crowned with his hat. Next, he made quick work of unwrapping the bandage around his wrist and tossing the materials in the garbage. He let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into the shower and the hot water scoured the last two days from his skin. The relief was quickly replaced with a small whine of pain as the water hit his wrist. Closing his eyes and bracing himself against the wall with his forearm he breathed through the pain, acclimating to the sensation. Frankie took a minute to just exist, trying to enjoy the quiet that had slowly crept back into his mind. Taking a deep breath, he set to work getting himself clean. The steam made the air thick and heavy with the scent of Whiskey’s soap, something akin to leather and tobacco leaves. It clung to Frankie’s lungs, and he could have stayed there enjoying it for considerably longer. But, he didn’t want to keep Whiskey waiting, so he rinsed off and hopped out of the shower. He toweled off, smirking to himself when he saw it was monogrammed (because of course it was), then headed out and changed quickly into the shirt and shorts that had been left for him.

Whiskey looked up in time to see Frankie stride through the doorway wearing his shirt and shorts, smelling like him, his soap. He swallowed thickly and tried to recover with a smile.

“Feel better, Flyboy? C’mon, sit down. Let’s have a look.”

Frankie nodded, then took a seat next to Whiskey on the bed and gave him his right hand. Whiskey hummed his approval at the lack of resistance from Frankie, something the pilot felt tug at his chest.

“This is looking much better, Flyboy, should be completely healed in a few days.”

Whiskey smiled as he finished tending to and wrapping up Frankie’s wrist. Without prompting, Frankie offered his other wrist and Whiskey couldn’t bite back the smirk that followed. He was glad though, glad that Frankie was trusting him with this and was embracing these moments, even if it was for something small. Frankie’s left wrist was considerably better off, but even so, Whiskey was still gentle as he looked him over.

Frankie’s heart fluttered at the intimacy of what was happening. Here was Jack, a man he’d known for barely 48 hours, who was taking care of him, who had dropped everything to come get him, who had spent his evening letting Frankie talk. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had treated him this way.

There was an overwhelming urge building in his chest, and without thinking, he acted on it.

He gripped the collar of Whiskey’s t-shirt with one hand, tugging him closer as Frankie leaned in and kissed him. Whiskey was shocked for a moment, it had been the last thing he had been expecting, but he quickly recovered when he felt Frankie’s tongue swipe at his lip. His hand rested along the column of Frankie’s throat, thumb grazing over the scruff along his jaw as he deepened the kiss, leaning into Frankie and tasting him.

A small moan pulled Jack back to his senses, resting his forehead against Frankie’s and cupping his jaw with this other hand. They both panted, trying to catch their breath, and Whiskey smiled as he gave Frankie another quick kiss. For a moment, Frankie was worried he had overstepped when Whiskey cut off their kiss, but looking into the other man’s eyes, he knew that wasn’t the case.

“You’ve had a long day, Flyboy, we’re not gonna do anything tonight. Tomorrow though, if you want, I could help you get rid of some of that stress and help you come down the right way. No rush, no pressure, you can say no and nothing changes. I don’t want an answer right now either, sleep on it.”

Frankie’s breath quickened and his pupils dilated at the thought, but one thing nagged at him.

“What about Halcón?”

Whiskey chuckled and patted Frankie’s shoulder.

“Well it’s what we both want, in a manner of speaking. She’d be onboard, but she doesn’t have to know exactly what we do for now unless you’re comfortable with it. A lot of this is stuff I know she wants to go over on Friday, but for now, when it comes to me and Bourbon, keep an open mind and try not to overthink it, partner. If you want to do this tomorrow, then we can do it. If not, no harm, no foul, you’re still welcome to stay here and keep me company.”

Frankie nodded, still processing what Whiskey had said and more than a little surprised that Whiskey was inviting him back regardless of his decision. Whiskey stood up then, squeezing Frankie’s shoulder.

“G’night, Flyboy. Holler if you need anything.”

Frankie was back in Colombia. He felt sluggish, his feet refusing to respond the way he wanted them to. He saw the villager from the cocaine farm pop up from the rocky outcrop, but Frankie couldn’t move, couldn’t draw his gun to take him out. He cried out in anguish as the man fired.

“No! Tom!”

Then he was surrounded by Pope, Benny, Will, you, and Whiskey, statuesque as the man who killed Tom lined up and dropped Pope, moving his way down the line. Frankie was sobbing now, he was being swallowed up by the ground, sinking helplessly as the people he cared for were murdered.

Whiskey woke with a start to the sound of shouting.

Ripping the sheet and comforter off, Whiskey glanced at the clock. It read 01:30 and he sighed. Frankie just couldn’t catch a break.

“P-please, No! Po-Pope, God, n-no, Hal-Halcón! Whiskey!”

He really didn’t want to shake Frankie awake, worried as to how he might react waking up from that sort of dream, but Jack had to do something.

“Hey, Frankie, I’m right here, you gotta wake up. Wake up, Flyboy.”

Frankie shot up, feeling like ice water had been poured down his spine. He was wild-eyed and breathing heavily, but once again, Whiskey’s soothing words served to ground him, and he clung to them with all he had. He felt Whiskey pull him into a hug, and Frankie didn’t care about the awkward angle, he clung to the embrace as well.

Whiskey’s heart ached at the way Frankie clutched at him after hearing him call out Pope’s, his, and your names. He had a vague idea of what might have happened, he still had dreams where he couldn’t save his loved ones every now and then. Once Frankie’s breathing calmed a bit, Whiskey tugged him up out of bed.

“C’mon Flyboy, you’re coming with me.”

Frankie didn’t argue, he just followed, grateful that Whiskey was pulling him by his hand, needing that point of contact. Whiskey pulled back the covers on the side opposite of his and waited until Frankie crawled in before he pulled the covers over him, then slid in on his side of the bed. He scooted a bit closer, not wanting to crowd Frankie unless he wanted the contact, and was pleased when the other man scooted back until his back rested against Jack’s chest.

“Get some sleep, Flyboy. I’ve got you.”

Sooner than he expected, Whiskey heard soft snores coming from Frankie. He smiled then wrapped his arm around him and pulled him closer.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs & comments are much appreciated!

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[mysterious-dark-shadow]

In drafts, in hopes that I never have to post this

Ok, if you're reading this, it is because Rune has claimed that we called the cops on him in March of 2020 in order to...I don't know what excuse he will give, but anyways, I am writing out this timeline of events because I want to explain our point of view ahead of time, without reading or reacting to whatever he is claiming is the "real" set of events.

Felix came to me in late January of 2020 to talk about some concerns he had regarding Rune's living situation. He and Rune were supposed to have weekly "dates" via video chat on Sunday evenings, and Rune was often sitting in the complete dark. Rune had also been mentioning to Felix that "the boys" (the 3 other men he lived with and were in relationships with) were often late in getting him food. Felix was under the impression that he was going hours without eating, and did not have adequate food that he could eat while waiting for someone to prepare a meal for him.

I was immediately concerned as well, as Rune was my friend, and I had been in an abusive situation that was actually fairly similar to the one that Felix was describing. We decided to monitor his behavior and his speech via text and video/voice chat to see if he was actually dealing with an abusive living situation. I actually sat in on a couple of their weekly dates, with both Rune & Felix's permission, just to "hang out" so I could see for myself what the situation was.

He was indeed sitting in the absolute dark in the living room of his home at 7-8pm in the wintertime, and often would look off to the side of his screen like he was watching someone in another room. Sometimes he would stop his conversation mid-sentence and completely change the topic with no warning. My concern about his physical safety grew after witnessing this first-hand.

We discussed what options we had, and decided that unless Rune asked for help, we could not indicate that we thought he may be in an unsafe situation. Part of the reason for our hesitation is that he had mentioned previously that one of the men he lived with was much better with technology than he was, and often helped him with his computer & phone (which were both Apple products). As someone who has experience with someone monitoring my communications digitally as well as the knowledge of how to circumvent that, I was concerned that this person may potentially have access to all of his social media accounts and chat programs. It's not that hard to have discord on multiple devices (including your web browser) if you know the password for the account, for instance.

In late March of 2020, Felix grew increasingly more concerned for his safety, and then, on March 30th, Rune sent a message that he would be taking a shower, and then did not send another message for the rest of the day. After a long night of discussion (I don't believe we actually went to sleep at all), we decided to call the cops to request a welfare check if Rune had not sent anything by morning. The morning of March 31st came, and there was no message. So we called the local police to request that someone check on him as he had not been in contact with his long-distance boyfriend for over 12 hours. To our surprise, the police contacted us saying the location we had requested to be checked looked abandoned. Felix, now extremely upset, begged them to go back because there were people living there and he was even more concerned because of the apparent neglect of the outside of the home.

The police returned that afternoon, and afterwards told us that they spoke with a member of the home who said Rune was sleeping. Rune himself still had not messaged Felix, so we were actually discussing whether or not to try to go to Reno ourselves when MY PHONE rang, with Rune showing up on the caller ID. Side note: I actually forgot that he had my number, as I had given it to him in 2017 or 2018 and we never spoke on the phone or communicated via text message. I quickly handed the phone to Felix. He told Rune we were worried about him cause he'd been complaining about being hungry, and he was always sitting in the dark when they were video-chatting. Felix told me that Rune was acting confused and said that he was in the shower when the police showed up. He also said that Rune was repeating what he was saying loudly, i.e. "You called the cops because you were worried about me?!?!?", instead of answering any direct questions. The call suddenly cut off, and we waited anxiously for another phone call.

Soon afterwards, Rune started rapid-fire messaging Felix, and then Felix and myself in a group chat on Discord, telling us that he was fine, what we had done was completely inappropriate, and that he did not want us to communicate with him. Felix did not feel like he could handle personally communicating with Rune, so I replied on April 1st that we understood his feelings, but we felt strongly that he was in a similar abuse situation to the one I was in (which he knew about it and was in communication with me while I left the abusive relationship), that we had done everything we could on our end to help, and that if he wanted to reach out, to contact me.

He did reach out April 2nd to me on Discord, saying that he had processed his feelings to some degree and he was ready to hear our reasoning. I did not trust this communication (remember we were still under the impression that he was being monitored), so I did not reply to his message, and instead began posting music to my Facebook, since we were friends on there. He did not reply to any of the posts, and on April 7th, messaged us again in the group chat claiming that I had not responded to his messages. I told him that it was surprising that he was only focusing on Discord for a response, and we already presented our reasoning regarding our belief he was not in a good situation. I reiterated that we had done everything we could, and he would have to take the next step himself.

He said that his next step would be disconnecting from us, and that none of what we had done was compassionate. He then blocked us from Discord, Facebook, tumblr, Patreon, and probably a few other platforms that I haven't bothered to check.

And that's what went down.

[edit 3/19/2021] We've not been in direct communication since, so I don't know why Rune decided to talk about Felix in his Patreon discord earlier this week, and I'm not going to speculate. I do find it amusing that he called Felix paranoid, when I'm the one with this in my drafts, just in case...

[edit 2/16/2022]

Happy 2 year post-Rune anniversary to me. He's become the least of my concerns at this point because the people I had alluded to that had been monitoring my communications and made me fear for my life are again trying to fuck with me. I have not been able to even access this tumblr account until about 15-20 minutes ago, because my husband Felix wanted to show me a youtube video he posted on Bad Occult Advice and I noticed I wasn't logged in. I have at least 2 confirmed stalkers that can see exactly what I'm typing, plus 1-2 unconfirmed ones that know enough about me to try to call the police to report me as "mentally unstable." Paranoid does not even begin to describe how I feel when I think about the fact that I may have to see one of them again, even if it's just in a court room to testify to the abuse I have suffered at their hands. Rune had no idea who he was angering when he tried to imply that my husband was crazy and no one should listen to him in his Patreon discord (which, again, people have to pay at least $1 to even ACCESS). I helped him set up that discord server, and tried to warn him about backdoor access points and he ignored me. Suns, who had insisted at the time that Felix was taking her words out of context, was (i believe) trying to get him to post about her on BOA so she could get more followers. She made a point to reply to an ask that Felix sent BEFORE we posted the re-edited screenshots, then reblog it with further commentary in hopes that we'd be too distracted to notice. I check EVERYTHING. I check the notes of Bad Occult Advice when Felix doesn't want to. I document everything. I was the one originally sent the screenshots. I was the one who checked with Felix regarding how much he wanted edited out. I was the one who blacked out EVERYONE who did not directly confirm that they had seen the original messages Felix posted about.

And even now, someone is watching my screen. Someone has been logging me in and out of my accounts. Someone has been trying to get access to Felix's accounts. "Glitches" stop being glitches when I cycle through my phone, my iPad, my backup phone, my computer, and round again because I just want to check on my husband's tumblr blog. I stream under the BOA name because I tried streaming under an old username and got indicators that an ex that I FLED with only the clothes on my back and what I could carry may have gotten an alert regarding me going live. I have been constantly watching over my shoulder for people I don't recognize because someone wearing aviator sunglasses tried to intimidate me after leaving a courthouse because they didn't want me to testify against them. I have been afraid to look at my own reflection in the bathroom mirror, because I didn't know if I was the only one in the room. Felix had to call 911 last week because I had a mental breakdown due to this extreme anxiety and paranoia, which I found out afterwards was me just reacting to the extreme levels of TRAUMA i have dealt with my whole life. Forget threatening to kill me, I was threatened to be drugged, and locked away from the world in a mental institution for the rest of my life, because I tried to call 911 for my mother when I was 5.

When I said above that I was paranoid, I was trying to make light of my obsession with knowing who can and cannot access my accounts, my computer, my information. I have taken at least 3 pictures of my driver's license in the past 3 days alone. I have not been able to sleep longer than 4 hours without gasping awake in a cold sweat because I had yet another nightmare about waking up in a different house. Last week, I had to face my greatest fear: being held down by 4-5 police officers while being injected with something because no one in the psych ward would listen to me as I yelled no. I lost my voice and resorted to banging on the walls, the glass, while screaming at the cop right in front of me to at least give me his mask, and watching him roll his eyes and say, "No." Even in that dire situation, one that had haunted my nightmares since I was a child, I wasn't afraid for myself, but for Felix. I thought I heard his voice around the corner, and I just wanted to see him once more before I died alone. I was willing to be committed forever if it meant that he could visit me every once in a while. I just wanted to tell him I loved him one more time.

This happened last week. This is the amount of shit I have been through. And Rune fucking Emerson was too self absorbed and too lazy to listen to me when I tried to give him basic safety advice about his Patreon discord. I have watched as he closed his patreon to anyone new who wasn't willing to fork over at least $30 dollars to access the discord, stopped posting anything with a public preview since January, and still post on tumblr like he's some Big Name Tumblr Pagan. This isn't 2015 anymore. I had to look through old channels on discord that I had completely forgotten about because someone still has access to a THROWAWAY discord account that I created. I am not paranoid. That has been confirmed. And those who can read these words and know what I'm referencing, who are still on my computer, trying desperately to find enough information to make sure I don't talk? They should be trying to save themselves. I called out 4 people by name last night while chatting to my Alexa devices, and saw my playlist start over. I spelled one name, and watched as the song got skipped because they didn't want me to talk anymore. This is starting to feel like a really weird ARG at this point because I've become so numb about the whole thing. My husband and I have actually given some of them nicknames just to try to find some humor in this situation. This is the shit I had been through, this is the hard won experience I have. And Rune ignored me because he wanted to be "rescued" and set up in Portland, Oregon because he thought I had a cushy desk job and could afford to house both he and Felix. He didn't want to work. And I hope he learns how to work his hands to the bone, because that is how I had to start. And I hope he never posts anything without thinking about me, wondering what screenshots I'm going to get sent next by a concerned patron. I hope he learns paranoia. Because I am tired of being reminded of him when I try to access my discord account in order to talk with a family member that I haven't been able to communicate with in 8 years for their own safety. To see usernames that I thought I had lost or forgotten used to try to intimidate me. I am not scared. I am ANGRY. Only 2 people in my life have ever seen me truly angry, and they are both safe and loved. The rest of the world can burn for all I care.

[doloresdraws]

I wanted to paint Werner right after the Embrace before he was completely disfigured. I will write the full scene of his Embrace and what led to it in some other post in the future.

The story below follows him right after the Embrace.

The night after he, on his way from a bar, found a severely burned woman and despite him wanting to take her to the hospital, she convinced him to take her to his motel room instead. He didn’t feel comfortable leaving her on her own after he had seen the men trying to burn her alive.

He was very drunk, because he was celebrating getting a contract for his and Leslie’s book that he was about to sign tomorrow. He tried his best to tend to the woman’s wounds with what he had found in the motel room and tried to talk to her to figure out what happened and if she needed any more help from him.

Werner even offered to take her to the police station to report what happened, but despite his gentle and comforting approach she was impassive and the more he tried to tell her that everything is going to be alright, the more she snapped at him.

He was in no shape to argue with her, so he decided to leave it for the morning, when he's gonna think more clearly. Maybe she will change her mind and lets him call the police or at least take her to the hospital.

After leaving the hurt woman in his bed, he tried hard to stay awake in case he would need to go to the motel manager to call an ambulance for her, but he was still quite drunk and he fell asleep on a couch after a while.

When he woke up his head hurt terribly and it took him a few minutes to shake the sharp pain off him and recollect last night's memories. When he remembered that there was a woman that was severely burned in his bed, he forgot about his pain and he rushed to see her, fearing that he might find her dead.

But the bed was empty and just now he noticed how dark all of his surroundings were, the blinds were closed and the sheets were covering the windows. He called out for the woman, but his motel room was dead silent.

Now, when he was sure the woman left, he instinctively went to check his wallet, but his ID and money, everything was in its place. He sat down, thinking that if she was able to leave, her injuries must have been less severe than it looked like. He thought that she probably got scared after he told her that he will take her to the police station to report the men that tried to burn her alive. After calming himself down, he glanced at the time at his watch and he was shocked.

It was 6pm, he rushed to the window to open the blinds only to see the evening sky. He realized that he missed his appointment with the publisher that was at at 2pm. He cursed at himself, how could he oversleep for the whole day when he had such and important appointment.

As he went to take a shower and started to wash himself, he noticed weird bruises and lacerations all over his hands and after checking, he found more of those over his whole body. He didn’t panic as he explained them as a result of getting burned while helping the woman.

When he noticed clumps of hair in his hand after drying his hair, he cleaned the mirror to see how big the damage was only to notice more injuries on his face, he could see one of his eyes clouded with a milky film. But he couldn’t get a very good look at his face, because there was something clearly wrong with the mirror, he couldn’t get his face to sharpen in the reflection and after a few desperate attempts of trying to clean the mirror he gave up and just got dressed.

He rushed out of the motel to the nearest phone booth and tried to call the publisher’s office to apologize, but nobody picked up as they were probably already closed. He then thought that he should probably call Leslie, but he couldn't because he was out of change. He realized that he was not feeling well, he had quite severe hangover and he felt that all of the adrenaline had worn out... That was why he felt so much cramping and tension inside, shattering headache and a sharp pain in his limbs and rib cage.

He decided to buy a hot dog from a nearby stand, the vendor gave him weird stares, but Werner ignored them, he smelled the hot dog and the stench was awful, but he felt so hungry, he just bit into it and as he tasted it, he couldn’t hold it inside, spitting it out immediately.

Werner turned around to go back to the vendor to tell him something about how nasty the food was, but the people on the street stared at him in disgust that he decided it was not worth it.

He then went into a first diner that he saw, hoping that maybe he can at least have a coffee to get rid of the pressing headache. Inside of the diner he was met with more of the grossed out stares from the other people, some of them even made a step back from him looking at him as he was some kind of a dirty lowlife. He politely asked for a coffee and when he took out the money, smiling at the waitress and saying that he just had a bad day, the waitress forced a smile and squeamishly took the money in a way that made Werner feel like he was contagious.

He felt so uncomfortable with his gaze buried into the table until his coffee was delivered. He was so looking forward to take a sip, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually drink it as if he knew that he won’t be able to.

After what felt like a painful eternity, he took a deep breath and with a shaking hand kicked the whole cup in his throat. Everyone at the diner stared at him, some with disgust and some with general curiosity at the weird man trying to drink a cup of coffee as if it was a shot of whiskey. He tried to hold it in as he realized that there were people watching, but he couldn’t, he started to cough, he tried to make it into the cup, but of course his hands were shaking and he spilled it all over the table.

Some of the men sitting nearby shouted some insults at him. Werner got up and started to apologize to the waitress for the mess, but she just rolled her eyes at him.

There was no point in making this even worse, everyone here thought he was some kind of a drunk idiot, so he ran on the street hoping that the fresh air will make him better.

He walked aimlessly for a bit, but soon he started to go through phases when he felt that his insides were about to tear him apart.There had to be something wrong with him, he needed to go to the hospital. But the problem was, he didn’t know where the nearest hospital was.

He tried to approach people asking for directions, but they either ignored him before he even said anything as they thought he was a homeless person begging for money or stopped to help him, but as soon as they had seen his face they backed away, leaving him frustrated and lost.

He didn’t understand why people treated him so poorly, he was polite and he showered in the morning, wore nice clothes, just because he was not feeling well, they avoided him like the plague.

It crossed his mind a few times to call Leslie, but then he always said to himself that he doesn’t need to worry her just yet, first he wanted to get checked into the hospital, find out what was wrong with him and then he would call her.

After walking aimlessly for a bit, he got tired of the weird stares, so he instinctively avoided people and chose to walk the back alleys, hoping to find a hospital or a police officer to ask for directions.

In one of the alleys he saw a homeless man sitting on the ground, covered in sheets, drinking something from a bottle. As Werner walked next to him, he saw a hat on the ground with a few pennies that people probably threw at him and he thought that today he felt how it probably feels to be in his shoes, so he took out some change and put it in his hat. “Thanks, man.”

The homeless man examined Werner’s face in the street light for a moment. “Man, you look like shit. Need a drink?”  The man moved a bit to the side to make space for Werner and gestured with his hand to offer Werner to sit down. “C’mon, sit, man.”

Werner smiled at him, finally someone wasn’t repelled by him, he awkwardly sat next to the man and cautiously accepted the flask. Today was one of the worst days in his life, if it meant that he will share a drink with a man that might be unclean and homeless, but treats him like a human being, then it was what he was going to do. But once again as soon as he swallowed the drink he felt it was coming back in his throat and he barfed. The man laughed. “You don’t drink often, do you?” and tried to hold Werner’s shoulders to somehow comfort him. When Werner turned around to smile and thank the man for his humane behaviour towards him, seeing the man so close to him made him somehow overwhelmed and suddenly everything went red for him.

“Holy shit, man! What the actual fuck!” Was what he heard from somewhere in the distance and then came pain as he felt his body slammed at the wall. Werner was confused and angry, but the cramps were gone.

A different man stood over him, his red hair falling into his clearly furious face. “At least lick the fucking wound!”

Werner didn’t understand anything.“What?”

The ragged man pointed to the side when the homeless man was lying, blood pouring over his neck. “Lick it, moron, what the hell are you waiting for?!”

Werner started to shake his head putting his hands up, clearly confused at what happened and wanting to leave. But the savage man grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him above the unconscious man. “Do it!” and Werner reluctantly did.

He thought it would be disgusting, but it was quite the other way around, the drops of the blood on his neck tasted like the tears of heaven.

Werner shook the unconscious man, horrified with what he might have done to him… “Is he gonna be alright?”

The red-haired man gave the homeless man one disinterested look. “He’ll make it... probably. But that is only because I intervened, you were gonna drink him dry…”

“Now explain yourself. This is my domain, what the hell do you think you are doing here?!”

Werner was shaking and told the man everything about how he was not feeling himself since the night before and how he can’t imagine that he could do this.

The man in the denim jacket listened to everything quite impatiently. “You serious? You really have no idea what this all is?! Damn, that explains a lot. Fuck, why does this have to happen in my domain, dammit.”

Werner begged him to take him to the hospital to which the man just shook his head. “I am afraid the hospital is not what you need, dude. By how fucked up you look, you have to be one of the Lazarus’ flock. You will have to come with me.”

He gestured to Werner to follow him, but Werner reluctantly glanced at the man on the ground before following him. “I... Need to call my wife.”

Severin stopped. “Sorry to break it up to you, pal, but you are not going to call anyone.”

Werner started to back away, ready to bolt out of here, this man was clearly unstable and dangerous. He wanted to call ambulance or police and most of all he wanted to call Leslie and hear her voice telling him that everything is gonna be alright again. “I can’t just…I need to tell her…”

But before he even finished that sentence, the man grasped him by the wrist with a huge clawed hand “I told you, you are coming with me. Voluntarily or not.”

His yellow eyes glared with rage and he crushed Werner’s wrist more. ''Do you understand now?!” The fear of this monstrous man made him give up and just nod in defeat.

Severin took him down to the docks where he knew the other Nosferatu frequented. The whole way Werner thought about what the hell he got himself into, wishing he could turn back time.

Werner © me/doloresdraws

[nishiisenpai]

birthday forgotten - tsukishima kei x reader

REQUEST: “Hi babes! Another Haikyuu writer here! I saw you posted about doing requests and I was hoping on giving you one! Maybe an angst with fluff at the end fic where it’s the reader’s birthday (who is the karasuno manager and is also dating Tsuki cause I love that man) and they (the team) all forget, and when they find other later they feel bad because she has always made their birthday’s special. Then ending in fluff of them trying to make it up to her. Sorry if it’s not good I usually write and don’t request lmao. Hope you see more of your stuff in the future! - @nataliahaslosthershit “

A/N: I seriously can not thank you enough for sending in this request(deadass cried about it for a whole 10-15 minutes LOL - because i thought this blog was gonna flop ._. ) but thank you again for sending this in and i hope i didn’t disappoint you or anything!

-

WARNING: Angsty but with a fluff ending!

WHO: Tsukishima Kei x Karasuno Manager! Female Reader

-

“Morning Tsukki!” you smile at your salty dinosaur who had just entered the classroom. You followed him to his desk where he sat down and placed his bag, taking a book out.

“Morning.” Tsukishima said while giving you a small grin and paying attention to his book.

“Whatcha up to?”

“Reading.”

“Oh- uhm, do you want me to stay here or like?” You said as you were about to get up and leave though Tsukishima’s hand held onto your wrist.

“No no, it’s okay. You can stay here.” He looked at you with his norm straight face and you nodded sitting back down.

“I heard it’s a special day today...” you hinted. Today was your birthday and you were really hoping your salty dino got the message.

“Oh really?”

“Yup!” your eyes beamed with sparkles as Tsukki didn’t pay attention. “Hey are you ignoring me?”

“What? No! I was listening still. Keep talking.”

“Oh uhm, well today is a special day! A very very special day.”

“Is that so?” his eyes stayed on the book as he turned the page.

“Yes it quite is.”

“Well if you’re going to say something that mentions about practice then I think you’re mistaken.”

“No, silly! It doesn’t have to deal with practice. Something more exciting!”

“What is there to be excited about?” ouch.

“Well I don’t know, it seems that I am forgetting something...” you mumbled but screamed in your head to shout out the answer to your question. As much as you love this dinosaur, he sure is dumb to recognize the importance of your birthday.

“Well all I know is that today’s a normal and regular day, and there isn’t something special that I remember happening today.” suddenly the words Tsukishima was saying faded into a fuzzy noise. No longer were you able to connect back or hear anything around you, all you heard was the sound of your heartbeat slowly beating and your hurried breathes.

“Y/N? Hello? Are you okay?” Tsukishima snapped you back into reality.

“Huh? Oh yeah... I’m fine. Class is about to start, I’m going to head back to my seat and I’ll see you later yeah?”

“Okay, see yah.”

-

Class ended awhile ago and it was break. You had just left the washroom to see Kageyama and Hinata together bickering.

“What are you two boys bickering about, today?” as you walked up to them.

“Kageyama is calling me an idiot.” Hinata shot a glare at him.

“Again?” you chuckled.

“If you hadn’t ruined my favourite sweater Y/N got for me on my birthday by puking on it I wouldn’t be holding such a grudge.”

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY SORRY!” Hinata jumped up and down.

“It’s alright, Kageyama. I’ll get you another one on your birthday!” you said with a small smile and Kageyama’s eyes lit up.

“Wait actually??? Th-Thank you.” he gave you a small bow and you laughed.

“WHAT? NO FAIR-“ Hinata started saying but you interrupted him.

“I’ll make your birthday even more special, Hinata.” That’s all it took to have stars shine in Hinata’s eyes.

“NOT FAIR-“ you probably shouldn’t have mentioned or said that as they continued to bicker.

“Hey- BOYS!” you stopped them and they apologized. “Get to class, you’ll be late.”

“Yes, Y/N.” as they trudged back to class. Hinata had turned around.

“Oh by the way, Y/N.” maybe he would remember or say something about your birthday.

“Yes, Hinata?” you waited for the words to come out.

“Are you ready for-“

“Yes! I am so ready and excited!”

“See Kageyama, I told you Y/N would be excited to see our quick.” wait-what? I thought he would say something or remembered.

“Tsk, whatever.”

“See yah Y/N!” Hinata waved. You tried not to look upset and waved back with a small smile.

“Bye, Hinata. Bye Kageyama. I’ll see you two at practice.”

You knew these two boys would be forgetful. What type of hope did you clutch onto? If Tsukishima didn’t even remember your birthday, how would the others?

-

“Oh hi, Y/N!” Sugawara had said.

“Hey! Where are the others?” you said as you saw Daichi, Asahi, and Tanaka.

“They’re just coming.”

“Ahh I see.”

“So are you doing anything after practice?” yes, I’m going to celebrate my birthday by myself.

“Uh, just studying for an upcoming test. How about you Suga-san?”

“Good luck with that! And uhm.. I don’t think I have anything in mind today. Maybe just take a shower and sleep when I get home.” Suga laughed and you chuckled a bit before putting a small smile hiding away the pain. 

Even Suga forgot your birthday... This is honestly one of the most heartbreaking thing because he’s never the type to forget things. Especially when it comes to birthdays...

-

“Takeda-sensei, I think I’ll head out first. I still have homework to work on.” You said.

“Okay, thank you Y/N for coming.” He said before turning around. You went towards the door to open it quickly as tears were streaming down your cheeks already and you didn’t want to be seen with such emotion displayed on your face. You accidently hadn’t seen where you were going as you bumped into someone.

“Oh Y/N, are you okay?” Kiyoko asked. You wiped the falling tears from your eyes quickly and inhaled a breath of air before facing her.

“Huh? Ah, Kiyoko-san, yes. I am alright. I’m just going to leave early because I have homework to finish.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yep! See yah!” As you quickly turned away from her and walked your way home continuing to have tears stream down your face. The slow mind process of doubt, and overthinking started playing in your head as to how this could have led you to such event.

-

“Alright everyone, good job today! Make sure to rest up well, eat a well balanced dinner and get enough sleep.” Coach Ukai had spoken before continuing to speak, “Where’s Y/N?”

“She said she had homework left to do.” Takeda-sensei spoke out.

“Shoot, I wanted to gift her this.” Coach Ukai was holding a bag of your favourite snacks from his store.

“What for?” The team questioned.

“For her birthday... Why else?” Coach Ukai looked at the team in confusion looking at the faces of shock and guilt before widening his eyes.

“Did you idiots forget it was her birthday?!?!?!?” Coach Ukai slightly raised his voice making everyone panic.

“Wait- what? It’s today?” Tsukki checked his phone and spat out his water.

“Holy shit, I’m a bad boyfriend.”

“Tsukishima! How could you forget!?!?!” Yamaguchi yelled at his best friend before slapping him on the back of his head.

“So that’s why she was crying...” Kiyoko spoke out and everyone froze.

“S-She was crying?” Tsukishima’s eyes enlarged before grabbing his bags and heading towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Daichi asked stopping at the door.

“To go apologize to my girlfriend and to spend the rest of the day with her, why else?” As Tsukishima stared down at his captain. 

“We should all go and make it up to her. We as a team forgot so we shall go do what’s right.” Sugawara had spoken as Tanaka and Nishinoya had aggressively nodded their heads.

“Let’s go to Coach Ukai’s shop to purchase more snacks and drinks.” Hinata said while looking at Kageyama. “I’ll beat you there first.”

“Not unless I do it first!” As the two started sprinting towards the doors and to the shop.

“You sir,” Tanaka and Nishinoya said while looking aggressively into Tsukishima’s eyes, “Need to be a better boyfriend or we’ll take your girl.

“As if you can.” Tsukishima smirked heading outside before dashing to your place.

-

You were laying in bed after finishing your studies and staring at the ceiling thinking about how today turned out. 

“Am I not important? Do they even know when my birthday is? I mean I had mentioned it before. Does Tsukki even know it’s today? Am I not special enough?” all these clouded thoughts were blocking out the noise around you but suddenly your phone vibrated next to you snapping you out of your thoughts. The caller ID showed a picture of you and Tsukishima on your second date at the park mindlessly being slight idiots at night.

“Hello-?”

“Open your door.” Tsukishima’s voice said.

“Huh, why?” As you got up and walked towards the front door.

“You’ll see.” The call ended and you stared at your phone questioning what Tsukishima meant.

You opened the door revealing your boyfriend.

“What are you doing here at this time?” You said looking up at your boyfriend and tilted your head in confusion.

“Hold on, you can come in guys.” Tsukishima mentioned and you cocked your eyebrow at him.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” Hinata came in giving you a plastic bag. In came the rest of the team and you were suddenly now holding plastic bags and poorly wrapped gifts in your hands as each of them said happy birthday to you.

“What is this..?” you chuckled nervously looking at them all for an answer.

“We felt really bad for forgetting to say a happy birthday to you. Mainly that tall blonde over there.” Tanaka said and Tsukishima sent a glare to the older boy.

“Aww thank you guys... I will admit I was a little upset, but that doesn’t matter anymore because you guys are here now! What are we waiting for? Let’s get this party started!” you exclaimed and their moods brightened.

“I’ll go set up the board games.” Daichi said with Sugawara following behind. The rest of the boys went to set up the snacks meanwhile you went to your room and placed the gifts there before heading to the kitchen to get some cold drinks.

“Y/N...” Tsukishima said out of nowhere scaring you.

“Tsukki, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” you said as you placed a hand over your heart chuckling.

“I’m sorry.” your chuckling stopped.

“It’s okay, babes. You didn’t know.” you said placing the drinks onto the kitchen counter.

“No, it’s not okay! Today is significant and an important day. I am so stupid for forgetting that it was your birthday.” Tsukishima looked down. This wasn’t like your boyfriend. The Tsukishima you knew wasn’t all apologetic and or so soft?

“Tsukki, it really is okay...” you went over to him and stood right in front of him before wrapping your arms around your salty dino.

“But it’s not.” he said mumbling. You sighed before bringing your hands to Tsukishima’s cheeks pulling him down a bit and bringing your lips together for a light kiss and going back into a hug position.

“Baby, it’s okay. I already forgave you for coming and you guys making it up to me by purchasing all this stuff and bringing all this stuff too. I promise.”

“Really? Cause I feel like a shitty boyfriend right now.”

“You will if you keep being all pouty and soft. That reminds me, since when were you so caring and soft?” you push your head away from Tsukishima’s chest giving him a puzzled look before he placed his hand on the back of your head and pushed you back to his chest.

“Shut up.” he grumbled while blushing and you giggled.

“WOAH- TSUKISHIMA’S BEING ALL CUTE IN THE KITCHEN WITH Y/N!” Sugawara said telling the group and from there started chaos.

-

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 2

Summary: negans jealousy and temptation starts to escalate when he starts coming around trying to fit his way back into your life while also showing jack who the man of the house is but jack may also have secrets of his own no one knows about.

🛑Warning: fluff, major smut, saddness, jealousy, cheating,fighting 🛑

@jazzy1118

18+

Sitting on your bed with mascara tears streaming down your face holding onto old pictures of you,negan and ellie. Jack walks in and you quickly wipe your tears and shove the pictures under the pillow before he notices.

"Hey baby...whats wrong?" Jack slides in next to you

"Oh nothing haha" you sniffle and play it off all cool

"You looked beautiful lastnight...i realized i forgot to tell you" he said brushing a strand of hair behind your ear leaning in to kiss you softly. Jack resches inbetween your skirt automatically causing your legs to spread apart inviting him in. He reaches his other hand up your shirt grabbing your boob gently squeezing it in his hand you begin to quickly unbutton your blouse breathing heavier when the front door opens. You frantically pull your shirt back together terribly and tugging at your skirt when you exit the room to see negan and ellie standing in the living room.

" have you ever heard of calling or sending a text!!??" You cross your arms over your chest with a few buttons still loose allowing your black lace bra to peak out

"Well....looks like youve been busy" negan takes off his glasses sliding them ontop of his head

"I just thought id come by and cookout for ellie.." He grins pulling out steaks and ribs from a grocery bag.

"Oh! I brought wine too...your favorite"

"Cook out!?...wha" you followed behind him outside to the patio slamming the door behind you.

"So you think you can just walk into my house acting like you own the place saying you want to "cook out" for ellie!!??" By now you are almost inces away from him

Negan flicks on the grill and then grabs you gently by your face.

"I believe its my house too.....my name is also on the deed" he relases his hand and then walks past you back inside

You scoff to yourself as you stand there trying to process what is going on when jack comes outside.

"Im heading out for work...also whats up with him?"

"I..uh...he is cooking out for ellie i suppose" you said running your finger's through your messy hair

"I see.....well ill see you later, message me!" He gave you a quick peck on the cheek before hopping into his car and driving off. You sigh to yourself opening the door walking back into the kitchen seeing negan rubbing up the meat with spice's and ellie downing a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

"Negan! Seriously you gave her ice cream before dinner" you quickly took the spoon and bowl away from ellie before she could cram another spoonful in her mouth

"Whaaat let the kid live alittle...." He looks at ellie giving her a goofy face

You go over to dump out the ice cream in the trash can before dropping the dish in the sink next to negan you caught yourself looking at him his jacket was off and his sleeves were rolled up exposing his toned arms and rough hands. His black glasses resting on his face and his perfect salt and pepper hair. You always have had a thing for men a bit older than you and negan fit that image perfectly...jack was much younger than negan which you never would of guessed going for a younger man would be good for you.

"Mommy!!"

"Huh..yes honey?" Causing you to snap out of your thought's

"Can daddy stay the night we can stay up and was scawry moviessszz!!?" Ellies face lit up with excitment

"Oh. Sweetie im sorry but daddy cant stay the night" bending down to her level caressing her cheek

"Uuuuggghhhhh!! No fair!!" Ellie screams at the top of her lungs and starts flailing her arms

"Ellie! Do not act like that towards your mother!" Negans deep strong voice boomed in the kitchen almost making you weak at your knees. Ellie ran off to her room and slammed the door.

"That sassy girl" negan said looking at you through the top of his glasses

"Thank you...." You sighed exhaustedly while popping the cork off of the wine bottle and filling your cup up

"Mmmm...." Swallowing the sweet red wine feeling it flow down your throat

"So....you and younger guys huh?" Negan chuckled while washing his hands

"Something new...nothing wrong with that" you said taking another sip of your wine

"thought you had a fetish for older men....whats it called? Daddy issues"

"I guess you could say that...." Pouring more wine into your glass

"Sure sure..." Negans voice died out as he walked off to the bathroom

Negan came back into the kitchen grabbing the tray of meat outside and slapping it on the grill. You followed behind him wine glass in hand.

"So...was it you that told ellie to ask me if you could stay the night?" Raising an eyebrow

"Shouldnt you go get another glass of wine" negan chuckles

"Ya know...your cooking was always the best" chugging down the rest of your glass

" i think the wine is starting to talk haha" negan closed the lid to the grill folding his arms over his chest

---------

I was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen while ellie and negan were snuggled up on the couch watching friday the 13th together. Hearing negan be playful and caring with ellie really makes your heart happy. A part of you wishes things could have been diffrent between the two of you that is your babygirls father of course you love the both of them but being with negan just isnt in your future right now.

"Mommy come in here!"

You finished putting dishes away when you walked in there and sat down by negan he kept looking over at you grinning while ellie jumped at the scary scenes with jason Voorhees.

"So...hows the team going?"

"Good...good the boys are a handful" negan chuckled

"You were always a great coach you really pushed those boys to do great things" giving him A sweet smile

Talking about school with negan was always a touchy topic. He runs a basketball team at the local highschool......thats also where he was cheating on me with one of the english teachers.

"She is out like a light... My sweet girl." Negan was running his fingers through ellies long red hair when he looked over at you realizing you had fell asleep on his shoulder too. Negan picked up ellie and took her to her bed and tucked her in when he came back you were slightly awake.

"Thank you..." You said tiredly

"For what baby..." He said in a low deep voice

"For dinner and taking ellie to bed...its hard doing it alone sometimes..." You began to feel really vulnerable and kinda felt unsettling with negan calling you baby

"Jack should be home soon he gets off late.." You raised up off the couch

"You want me to leave...." Negan asked with puppy dog eyes

"Negan....you have to go im sorry"

"Baby....you know i never meant to hurt you" negan pulled you back down to sit on the couch

"But you did.....what were you thinking....you ruined everything" you were a bit tipsy from the wine and your emotions were just flowing out of you

"I love you negan! And you threw it all away for some fucking teacher at your school!!" You began shoving him

"All you care about is yourself you are so fucking full of yourself...you think you are so fucking amazing!" Now gripping onto his shirt hitting him in the chest he quickly pulled you into a tight hug and you began crying uncontrollably onto his shoulder soaking his tshirt.

"Shhh....im here now i promise you i will do anything..i want to be back in ellies life full time again i miss my girls" negan started to get all choked up holding back tears

"I...i cant right now negan its too soon im still hurting so bad.....im trying to move on from this" wiping the tears away from your eyes

"I understand.....im never going to let you down again all i want is for you and ellie to have a good life even if im not in it"

He stood up pulling you with him he took you to the bedroom and layed you down in bed taking your shoes off for you and tucking you in before jack got back.

"Goodnight" he kisses you on the forehead and leaves

---------

You woke up to ellie jumping and screaming on your bed you looked over to see jack sleeping next to you rubbing at his eyes.

"Good morning beautiful" he leans over and kisses you

"Goodmorning" you chuckled

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Ellie jumped onto you

"Hi sweetheart mommy sees you" you squeezed her tight in a hug before getting up out of bed

Jack had already gotten up and hopped into the shower when his phone began to ring on his bedside table you eagerly went over and looked at who it was. A girl named Melissa was calling him you just brushed it off and joined him in the shower.

"Hey...." Slipping off your panties and hopping into the shower with him

"Whoa...hey" jack said shocked

You grabbed him by the face and began kissing him hard feeling the hot water stream down your back. He moved his hand down between your legs taking one finger and slowly slipping it inside of you moaning out gripping onto his dick starting to slowly pump it back and forth feeling it grow long in your hand. Before you knew it he flipped you around ramming his cock into you pumping back and forth into your dripping wet pussy. His grip grew tighter on your hip as he started going faster and faster untill you felt an emptyness from him pulling out.

"Im hopping out im gonna let you finish up in here" he slapped your ass and then hopped out and closed the bathroom door behind him

"What a disappointment....." You whispered to yourself as you scrubbed shampoo through your hair knowing that negan would of never left you hanging like that and would of lasted way longer. Turning off the water you coulf faintly here jack laughing and talking to someone over the phone you quickly dried off and opened the bathroom door.

"Who are you speaking to?" You asked slipping on some clothes

"Ohh just a coworker nobody really" he said putting his phone into his pocket and sliding his tie on leaving the room

"Okay then....." You said to yourself

Slipping your shoes on you walked into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee before jack headed off to work. Jack seemed super eager to leave for work today you just brushed it off assuming it was going to be a busy day for him at the office. He kissed you goodbye and took ellie with him to drop her off at daycare. It was just you alone in the house today which meant housework....gross.

You tied your hair up in a bun and began gathering your cleaning supplies you connected your phone to the bluetooth speaker blasting old rock songs. You were down on your hands and knees scrubbing at the floor in your short shorts when you were greeted by two feet infront of your face. You slowly looked up at who it was and it was negan with a huge dirty smirk on his face.

"This all for me doll?" He bit at his lip

"Oh....uh i planned on cleaning house today while everyone was out" you said shyly not realizing you were still on your knees

"I like you down there...on your knees" he slwoly chuckles

"Oh! Sorry....you cant just keep letting yourself in negan..." You quicly shot up to your feet

"You need me to help with anything?" He walks into the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee

"Ugh....The grass needs mowed......" You answered while wiping down the living room table

" jack doesnt mow grass?" Negan began laughing

"Negan...dont" standing there with your hands on your hips you sprayed him with the water bottle

"Hey!.....im just saying i figured young business boys couldnt mow grass anyway" negan walked outside and started up the pushmower.

An half and hour has passed and you finally finished the housework inside. You peaked out the window to see negan finishing up yard work...his shirt was off and he was all sweaty then jack suddenly pulls up causing you to stop gawking at negan.

"You always mow peoples grass" jack called out to negan getting out of the car

"Well, today i do. And maybe even next time...your girlfriend asked me to" negans jaw begins to flex

"Oh really...well" jack rubs at the back of his neck annoyed

"Dont think for a second that you have this all figured out......just setting some ground rules" Negan leans in towards jack and sternly says

Jack glared at negan as he walked past him to go insdie the house.

"Hi sweetie!" You greeted jack with a peck on his cheeck before stepping outside to speak with negan.

"I think you need to go...." You softly said to him trying not to stare at his sweaty toned bare chest

"Cmom doll.....things were getting fun. Jack is really starting to take a liking to me" he chuckles sliding his tongue across his bottom lip

"Negan....this isnt a game" you said picking up the gardening tools and taking them to the garage

"But i like games....and i always win" negan said in his cocky voice following behind you

You slammed down the shovel on the work bench in the garage before you knew it negan flipped you around lifted you up and and sat you ontop of the bench crashing his lips into yours he slid in between your legs grabbing a fist full of your hair yanking your head back as he began biting at your neck.

"Negan...." You moaned softly

"God i miss you moaing my name..."

"N....negan stop" it was so hard to resist him

"I want to have another kid with you....i want to fill myself insdie of you.....please baby" he tugged at your hair harder causing you to moan louder

The hairs on the back of your neck shot up after hearing what he had just said to you. You wrapped your legs tight around his waist and pulled him into you kissing him roughly biting and tugging at his bottom lip. You couldnt control yourself your body was weak negan always knew the right things to say. Negan took his two fingers pulling your yoga shorts aside to his surprise you weren't wearing any panties his finger began to play with your now swollen sensitive clit causing you to whimper out. He sucked on his finger making it wet before bringing it back to your clit gently flicking it faster and faster.

"Negan...im gon-

"(Y/n)...are you in here" jack called out from around the corner of the garage

"Oh shit!" You whispered to yourself before hopping off the work bench approaching jack

"Hey...im going to be going out of town on a business trip soon"

"Oh....well how soon?" You asked curiously

"Like...tonight soon" he quickly stated

"Oh...i see" your voice lowered

"I have to go baby i will keep in touch with you!" He kissed you before slow jogging to his car and leaving

A part of you didnt feel good about jack leaving for a "business trip" if thats really what it was.....something seemed off with him like he was hiding something. You stood from the garage watching him drive down the road untill you couldnt see his car anymore.

"Business trip huh....." Negan questioned walking up beside you

"Yeah...i suppose so" you said zoning out

Negan begins to chuckle and walk past you to his car.

"Wait were are you going!?" You yelled out to him

"Have to go pick up our daughter from daycare" negan calls out from the driver side

"Wait up im coming with you!" Jogging up to his black 1969 camero and hopping in the passenger seat

-------------

You,ellie and negan were back at the house when you were in the bedroom freshening up when you noticed jack had left his laptop on the dresser. Curiously you walked over and popped it open the screen automatically came on to his emails the very top email read from Melissa.

Hey jack we have that meeting tonight dont forget!😊 im also wearing that little tight dress you love.

You read the message over and over again the words ringing in your head making you feel sick to your stomach you slammed the laptop shut your body shaking full of rage and a adrenaline not knowing what to think or how to feel anymore. You just lay back on your bed zoning out up at the ceiling.

The door to the bedroom opens and its negan with a dirty smirk on his face looking at you layed out on the bed you just want to forget everything you want to feel numb you want to be made to feel dirty...

"Hey..." His deep tone giving you goosebumps

"Fuck me.....i want you to fuck me like the slut i am" you sternly said to him

Negan swiftly ripped his shirt off and yanked down your shorts spreading your legs apart bringing his tongue to your pussy licking your sweet folds brining his tongue down to your opening and all the way back up to your clit teasing you. You begin to grind up against his face while he pumps his cock hearing him moan only made you even more wet. He pulls his mouth away and flips you over slapping you on the ass hard the sting of it felt amazing he spanks you agains and a again before he enters his tip inside of you. Gripping onto the the bedsheets you have almost forgotten how big his cock is streching you open to fit perfectly insdie of you.

"Oh fuck.....god its so tight! You dirty fucking whore" he grunts slowly sliding more of his cock into you pulling your head back by your hair

"I miss you....i want you to fuck me hard..." You begin to rub your clit

Negan starts pumping his cock in and out of you his cock slowly swelling up inside of you and you squeeze down on him feeling all it all. He begins to move faster and faster leaning his face down to yours grabbing onto your throat squeezing it to let you feel that perfect high.

"Fuck...i...i cant keep going much longer" he starts fucking you faster and faster

"I want you to cum in me....please..i want your cum inside of me"! You beg

He lets out a load moan as he finishes inside of you and kisses you hard on the lips before pulling out letting his cum pour out of you all over the bedsheets. Negan pulls up his jeans as he hands you a towel to clean yourself up. You havent felt that amazing in awhile so relaxed and burnt off some built up rage

"All you have to do is ask and im here...." He whispers to you before leaving the room to go check on ellie. You get up from the bed to go take a shower.

"What am i doing......." You say to yourself

"Im so fucking stupid...." You begin to cry and sit with your knees pulled up to your chest in the tub feeling like a peice of shit after what you had just done. You are playing with negans emotions and stabbing jack in the back...what kind of girlfriend and mother am i.

[lunar-girl-fic]

Perfect Girl~ Wonho Oneshot

Warning: Suggestive, mention of dying?

Y/N POV

Word Count: 1591

Wonho x female reader

Disclaimer: The picture used is NOT MINE. I found it on instagram from the artist @bre.lexis. You guys should totally check out her art. It’s my favorite ambw art :).

A/N: I based this one shot based off a dream I had the other day. It felt so freaking real like I even felt the kiss and for some reason that only happens when I dream about him and I. Some scenes were added but this pretty much how my dream went. I wasn’t able to find a photo that matched how I imagined Wonho and a brown girl. In the dream he was literally the same size as he is now and he was wearing that orange shirt from is live the other day... Anyways I hope you all enjoy!

It was a rainy Friday night. You had just left your coworkers at the restaurant you guys went to to celebrate the assistant principals birthday. You called an Uber to get home. Normally you would walk but you weren't in the mood to be catching a cold. The ride home wasn't too long since you obviously lived close by.

When you arrived you thanked the driver and exited the vehicle quickly. However, no matter how fast you ran to the building you still ended up getting soaked. As if it couldn’t get any worse, the elevator in your complex wasn't working so you had to prolong your torture by taking the stairs. 

You finally reached your apartment and immediately took your shoes off and headed for your bathroom. You put your clothes on a drying rack over your toilet. You turned the water on to the hottest setting and got in. The warmth of the water was welcomed and washed away most of the stress you've been feeling with work. But stress from the absence of your boyfriend of 4 years didn't go away. It wasn't as if he was in some far away place where you couldn't see or contact him. No, the problem was he was so busy with his comeback that he did not have much time to call you much less visit you due to conflicting scheduling.

At first, you didn't have much of a problem with it since you knew how important his career was to him. But it has been two months and the separation was starting to get to you. Even though you knew you shouldn't complain being lucky enough to even have a man as sweet as him, you were only a human in need of the touch of her boyfriend.

After you got out the shower you put on some mango butter to attempt to smell good while moisturizing and let your curls fall freely. You grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants and put on the smallest sized hoodie Wonho owned. Being thankful he left this one behind since his others would've had you swimming in it.

You left your room and went to the kitchen to make a cup of calming jasmine tea (can you tell I've been watching atla alot hehehe). As the tea was boiling you gathered your students papers from your work bag and placed them on your coffee table. You turned the TV on and scrolled through the options. Finally settling on the 90s batman animated series as background noise.

You went back into the kitchen and poured the tea in your favorite mug. On the way to the living room you grabbed your phone just in case he called you. He may not have called you in the past week but who knows maybe today would be your lucky day.

Time went by smoothly. Surprisingly grading he papers wasn't too difficult since your students actually followed directions. Since it was easy to grade you decided to raise the volume of the TV and pay more attention to the plot of the episode. You were just about to finish grading the last paper when your phone started to ring. Had it not been on vibrate mode you would have never known it was ringing. When you looked at the caller ID your heart went pitter patter. It was Wonho. You obviously picked up the phone immediately with a joyful tone.

"Hey babe! How have you been? How's comeback? How does your shoulder feel? Are you eating properly"

"Well hello to you too baby, and to answer your questions good, good, good and of course!"

"Well that's good. It's been awhile and I was beginning to worry you forgot I existed."

"How can I forget about the shining light of my life."

"I mean with all those beautiful girls around you everyday it's not hard to think you might forget about an average girl like me."

"You're right."

"Wha- WONHO!"

You heard him laughing and knew that he did that just to get a reaction out of you.

"You know I would never. You're the only girl I have my eyes on."

"Hmph could've fooled me. Don't worry I already got my eyes set on another man." You said jokingly.

"Ya! I was joking."

"I know you dork."

There was a comfortable silence after you guys finished laughing.

"When do you think we'll be able to hang out?"

"Soon, I'm hoping. Everything is just so crazy that I barely have time to focus on taking care of myself. I'm honestly so sorry for not being able to call you. You must think I don't love you anymore."

"Wonho, I know I signed up for this when I first started dating you. You don't have to feel guilty for something you can't really control." You said trying to lighten the mood.

" I know it's just that I- I... I just want you to know that. (In Korean) I am the luckiest man in the world. I know you probably think I take you for granted but the truth is I could never love another girl like I love you. You said that you think I can forget about you easily an quite possibly leave you for another girl? When in reality everyday I worry you might just give up waiting for me an find another guy to replace me. You're my driving force in life. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you so much baby girl that I can't even find the right words to describe how much."

"...You know I hate you. I'm pretty sure you probably said the most beautiful words I will ever hear but I guess I will never know considering you just said it ALL IN KOREAN. Babe you know I'm not hat fluent. Now can you please tell me what you said again." You whined.

He chuckled, "I said, I am the luckiest man in the world. I know you probably think- ah forget it. You're making it so hard to surprise you."

"What? How? And what surprise are you talking about?"

"Turn around."

You quickly turned around almost giving yourself whiplash and that's when you saw your man standing there with a smile on his face and his arms opened wide.

"IT'S YOU!! YOU'RE HERE!!!" You said as you ran to him and jumped on him instantly grabbing his head to pull him in for a kiss. You almost cried tears of joys feeling his lips on yours after not being able to even touch in in 2 months.

You pulled away having the need to catch your breath. But you were still cupping his face with your hands, staring lovingly into his eyes. Eventually you went back in for another kiss but jumped at the sound of an explosion that happened in the show you were watching almost falling out of his grip. Wonho laughed at you while he gently placed you down so he wouldn't accidentally drop you.

"Heeeyyyy, why are you laughing? I could've died." You said while pouting.

"Sorry jagiya, you're just so cute I couldn't help it."

"Hmph. Nice to know you think me almost dying is cute."

"Dying? I'm pretty sure falling from that height wouldn't have killed you." He said amused.

"You don't know that. What if when I fell, I could have broken a bone and punctured an important organ and potentially bleed out."

"That sounds highly unlikely."

"Since when dud you become a medical doctor."

"Since the moment I started dating you. With the amount of times I've had to take care of you because of how clumsy you are, I'm pretty sure I can get a medical degree easily."

"YA! I'M NOT THAT CLUMSY."

"If you say sooo."

You and Wonho couldn't help but laugh at the silliness of your conversation. However while you were still laughing, Wonho stopped to stare at you. The love he felt for you overwhelmed him in this moment. He wasn't sure if it it was because he hasn't seen you in awhile or if it was something else but all knew was he just realized how perfect you are. You noticed the look and asked what was wrong.

"Why are you so perfect?"

"I mean perfect isn't the word I would use to describe myself..."

"I mean it baby, what did I do to deserve you?"

"Hmmm believe it or not all you did was be yourself. I tired of guys who were fake and trying to be something they thought I wanted. You are the only guy I met who was himself and that's all I can ask for. Plus your really good looking."

"I do look good, don’t I?"

"You're supposed to say thank you, you ungrateful little-"

"Just kidding." He said as he put his hands up defensively.

"I'm still waiting."

Instead of answering you, he grabbed your face and pulled you in for a passionate kiss, burying his fingers in your curls.

.After 2 minutes you both pulled apart to catch your breath.

"How was that for a thank you?"

"Hmmm I think you have to do that again to make it a proper thanks."

"I can think of a better way that involves a bed and less clothes." He said as he picked you up and carried a flustered you to your bedroom. And lets just say that by the end of the night you he was able to show you just how thankful he is.

[hockey-fics]

I didn't know you already had a request with number 47! so maybe number 13 from the angsty prompt list with petey? please?

Thank you for the request! 

Prompt: “You did a wonderful job convincing people that you love me, I almost fell for it” with Elias Pettersson 

Warning: insinuations of sex

Word Count: ~3,400

Moving to Vancouver was a big step for you. But the job was too good to turn down and the apartment you found was a little too perfect and all the pieces just fell into place too easily to not do it. 

The transition was difficult though. Your workplace was smaller than you expected and almost everyone who worked there was much older than you. Meeting people in the new city was hard. It was cold and rained all the time and you found navigating the larger city difficult, getting lost more time than you would care to admit. 

But then you met him. 

Elias. 

He had stepped through the apartment lobby doors, hesitating when he saw you struggling to drag a box that contained the pieces of a desk you had ordered online. It seemed like a good idea at the time. The desk would fit perfectly against the window in the den of your apartment, it was absolutely beautiful, and it was on sale. But now that you alternating between bouts of yanking or shoving it across the all too big lobby you were beginning to wish you hadn’t made that purchase. 

“Do you want some help?” Elias had asked. 

You had looked up at him, immediately caught off guard. His voice was soft, an accent that you couldn’t immediately place. He was tall and handsome with intriguing blue eyes and a reassuring smile. 

“I-,” you started, standing up straighter and glancing down at the box. You hated asking for help, even when someone was offering. Hated it even more when it was a stranger. But at the rate you were going that desk wasn’t even going to get into your apartment for a sizeable amount of time. 

Before you even have a chance to deny the help he was offering he had stepped closer, silently letting you know that it was okay for you to say yes. 

“Thank you,” you breathed out in relief as he leaned down to pick up the opposite end of the box. Together the two of you navigated the box into the elevator and up to your apartment. 

Elias had helped you bring the box into your apartment. You introduced yourself to him before he left and when you mentioned that you were new to the city Elias had given you his number, told you to call him if you needed anything at all. 

And for awhile you didn’t contact him. Not because you didn’t want to. Truth be told you would have loved to have called him because the city still felt so lonely and he truly seemed like such a nice guy. But every time you contemplated it the idea was outweighed by worry that you would be annoying him. 

But then a few weeks later you were having a truly catastrophic day. Like always you left for the skytrain, because it was just as quick as driving and you didn’t have to pay for parking at work. But you ended up being late, missing your train and being a few minutes late to work. Where you were immediately berated by your manager despite your apologies. And you tried to put that behind you but throughout the rest of the day you were slightly frazzled and nothing seemed to be going smoothly. By the time the work day ended it had started pouring, typical Vancouver rain that could be heard pounding off the roof of the building. Dumping the contents of your purse onto your desk before leaving you realize you had forgotten your umbrella at home. So you packed up your stuff and prepared yourself for the miserable walk to the skytrain station. By the time your commute was over and you had hustled back to your apartment you were freezing cold and soaking wet. And as if the day couldn’t get worse as you rifled through your purse you realized your keys were missing, mind flashing back to dumping your purse contents onto your desk at work. 

Groaning you stare at the locked lobby door of the apartment building. A few minutes of contemplating your options you pull your phone out, dialling Elias’ number. 

“Hi,” Elias answers after a couple rings. “How’s it going?”

“Could be better,” you admit, huddled under the awning outside the lobby door to protect yourself from the rain. “Are you home?”

“Yeah, I am. What’s up?”

“Can you let me in?” You ask, not knowing what you would do from there, the key to your actual apartment missing as well. “I think I forgot my keys at work.”

“Of course. I’ll be down in a minute,” Elias assures you. 

And true to his word he was opening the door a few minutes later, letting you into the warm lobby. Droplets of water drip off your jacket and onto the doormat as you wipe a combination of rainwater and tears from your cheeks. You hadn’t even realized you were crying till the situation had calmed down a bit, till you were away from the loud stormy weather. 

“Are you okay? You look cold. Do you have the keys to your apartment?”

Shaking your head you wrap your arms around your body. “No, I’ll have to call a locksmith or something, I don’t know.”

“Come on, you can wait in my apartment if you want,” Elias offers, stepping towards the elevator as you trail behind him, feeling cold, miserable, and deflated. 

You step into Elias’ apartment behind him you stand on the doormat, careful not to get water on the hardwood floor. But you’re not sure how to handle the situation so you stand in one spot, watching Elias kick his shoes off and step into the apartment. 

“You can come in,” Elias tells you, smiling gently. “I can get you some clothes, if you want to shower and warm up you can do that too.”

“You don’t have to do all this,” you tell him, pulling your jacket off and hanging it up over one of the hooks by the door, pushing your shoes off. 

“I’m not doing much,” Elias comments, nodding towards the hallway. Following after him Elias points out the bathroom, leaving you alone for a moment and returning with an armful of clothes. “Towels are in the cupboard there,” he tells you, gesturing towards the cupboard by the door. “I’ll be out in the kitchen, take your time.”

Something about how kind he was, how considerate he was left you feeling overwhelmed. He didn’t need to be this nice to you, you had never met anyone who was so kind so soon after meeting. After standing under the hot water in the shower while the chill dissipated from your bones, you get out and dry off, pulling on the large t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that you had to fold over at the waist a number of times to be able to stay up. 

Folding up your wet clothes you shuffle out of the bathroom, finding Elias in the kitchen. He was standing in front of the stove, cooking dinner with his phone pressed to his ear. 

“An hour?” You hear Elias say into the phone. “Yeah, that’s fine.” He hangs up his phone, setting it down on the counter and glancing over at you. “Hey, I called the building manager, he said they have emergency access keys to all the apartments. If you have ID he’ll be able to let you into your apartment but he won’t be here for an hour. I was making dinner though, do you want some?”

You stare over at Elias in surprise, eyes welling with tears. “I…you didn’t have to deal with this for me, you’ve already helped me more than you need to.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he assures you, grabbing a couple plates from the cupboard. “I moved here not that long ago, I had all the guys on the team for support though. I can’t imagine not knowing anyone.” 

“Team?” You ask, sliding onto one of the barstools at his bar counter. 

“I play hockey, for the Canucks,” he explains, setting a plate of food in front of you before sitting down beside you with his own food. 

“Oh, wow, that’s amazing,” you tell him in surprise. Because truthfully you didn’t know much about him aside from his generosity towards you. And so you spent the rest of the hour getting to know each other till he came with you to meet the building manager, making sure you got back into your apartment before saying goodnight. 

And after that night you two began spending more and more time together till you were practically inseparable. He introduced you to some of his teammates and some of their wives and girlfriends. 

You would spend evenings curled up on his couch watching movies. Eventually sharing the couch turned to cuddling turned to falling asleep with your head on his chest. You would go grocery shopping together, while it made sense with both of you living in the same building, the truth was that you both just wanted to spend as much time together as possible. You would go for early morning walks, discussing all sorts of deep thoughts. Going for coffee or dinner together became a common occurrence. 

And you fell for Elias. Hard. But you were uncertain about his feelings. He had always been the friendly guy who lived on the floor below you. He never tried to flirt. When you cuddled on the couch his hands never wandered. You never caught him checking you out or staring just a little too long. 

It was a Saturday night eight months after you first started hanging out with Elias and Elias had invited you over to Brock and Troy’s place along with a few other people. You were reluctant at first, telling him you didn’t want to intrude. But Elias was persistent and you found yourself sitting beside him on their couch a few hours later. The night had gone by as expected, they discussed stuff about hockey that you didn’t fully understand, you got to hear about their personal lives, girlfriends and family issues. You were glad Elias had invited you, happy to get to be more involved in his life than you already were.

“I’m going to the washroom,” you tell Elias a few hours after you had gotten there.

“Okay,” he mutters and you don’t notice the way he watches you stand up, the way he watches you walk out of the room. But Brock does and he can’t just not say anything. 

“You’ve got it bad for her,” Brock chuckles, shaking his head. 

“What?” Elias asks, only half-aware of what Brock was talking about as he turns his attention to him. 

“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?” Brock asks. 

“How I feel?”

Brock shakes his head again, sighing loudly. “Don’t pretend you don’t have feelings for her, man.”

“We’re just friends,” Elias defends, adjusting uncomfortably on the couch as he glances around the room, looking for any distractions. 

As you wander back from the bathroom you pause outside the living room entryway, frozen with the words you hear Brock say. “You’re in love with her, we all see it.”

“She just needs a friend right now,” Elias reiterates. 

“Just needs a friend? But you don’t want to be just a friend?”

“Just drop it, okay?” Elias snaps, unusually out of character for him. 

A few moments later you step into the room, trying your best to act like you hadn’t just heard everything you heard. Was Brock right? Elias hadn’t denied it. But that didn’t mean he was right either. No matter how hard you tried to remain unfazed by the comments you had overheard you simply couldn’t, catching yourself staring at Elias just a little too often and for a little too long. 

By the time you leave that night you can’t manage to keep your heart rate steady or your breathing even. Elias parks his car and you climb out, an uncomfortable silence filling the air around you two and you begin to wonder if he knows something is up. Stepping into the elevator you can’t handle the tension anymore but you’re not sure how to deal with it either. So you let your body take control, stepping in front of Elias, one hand on the back of his neck as you lean closer to him. “Kiss me,” you whisper in the silence of the elevator. 

“What?” Elias asks in shock, but he’s grabbing at your waist already, pulling you closer. And he doesn’t wait for you to say anything else before he’s kissing you, surprisingly fast and eager. When the doors of the elevator slide open you grab Elias’ hand, pulling him out onto your floor with you. There’s a nervous excitement as you both walk to your apartment. You barely have the door closed before Elias has his hands on your hips, pulling your back into him as he leans down, pressing his lips to your jaw, reaching up to brush your hair away as he moves his lips down to your neck. 

Gasping softly you push your body back into his, hand curling around Elias’ wrist. “Please,” you whimper, head tipping back to rest on his shoulder. You hadn’t so much as kissed a guy since moving to Vancouver. And maybe it was because you were too busy to worry about going out with guys, but maybe it was because there was only one guy you were interested in and he just happened to be right there behind you. 

“Are you sure about this?” Elias asks, turning you around in his arms as he holds you by your waist. 

“Yes,” you whisper, grabbing one of his hands and pulling him along with you into your bedroom. 

Waking up the next morning you roll over, finding the bed empty beside you. The way your heart sank was a feeling you had never felt before. You had slept with guys before and it meant nothing, had woken up the next morning alone or snuck out during the night. But this felt different. Because you really thought it meant something. But clearly you were wrong. 

Slowly you pull yourself out of bed, yanking on an oversized t-shirt and shuffling to the kitchen to make coffee. Because you needed to do something, anything, to keep your mind off the fact that you had slept with your one of your best friends and he left before you were even awake. Left without saying a single thing. And with each passing hour of the day where you hadn’t heard anything from Elias the worse you felt. 

Sure, you knew there was the chance that he really wasn’t in love with you. But when he kissed you back in the elevator you thought it had to have meant something. The last thing you would have expected was for him to just leave like that. 

‘Movie night?’

The text came early in the afternoon and normally you would have replied within seconds of seeing it. But today was so different, hesitation as your thumbs hovered over the keyboard on your phone. 

‘Sure. Your place or mine?’ You finally send. You couldn’t say no to Elias, no matter how hurt you were from earlier. 

‘Mine? 7 work?’

‘Sure’ you reply vaguely. Your conversations were never like this. You always said more, talked about what the other was doing, made jokes. You can’t remember a single one word text you had ever sent him, it always needed at the very least a smiley face. 

That evening you head up to Elias’ apartment, knocking on the door and staring down at the ground anxiously. Elias pulls the door open a minute later, stepping aside to let you walk inside. “Hey,” you whisper. 

“Hi,” Elias replies, closing the door behind you before pulling you into a hug. It’s warm and comforting and you want to stay there with him forever. But you know you can’t, not after the night before. Slowly pulling back you take a deep breath, preparing yourself to bring up what happened. “Do you want to order takeout or should we find something to make here?” Elias asks. 

You’re caught off guard by him brushing past everything that happened, not acknowledging the fact that less than 24 hours before you were moaning his name. “Uh,” you hum, prepared to talk about the implications of hooking up but not about dinner plans. “Takeout.”

Elias nods, pulling his phone out and opening DoorDash. “What do you want?”

“For you to stop ignoring what happened last night,” you blurt out, staring up at Elias with watery eyes. 

Elias lowers his phone staring at you in silence for a moment. “What do you want to talk about?”

“What?” You croak, shaking your head. “What do you mean? What do I want to talk about? The fact that we slept together last night. That you left before I was even awake the next morning. Any of that ring a bell?”

“What do you want me to say about it?”

You feel your chest tightening, throat aching with the threat of tears you were so desperately trying to hold back. “You know, you did a wonderful job convincing people that you love me, I almost fell for it.”

“What do you mean?” Elias asks, eyes softening as he steps closer, arms moving towards you before you step back. 

“I heard what Brock said, about you being in love with me,” you explain. “That’s why…that’s why I slept with you last night, Elias. Because I’m in love with you and I thought maybe, just maybe he was right. Or at the very least you would have the decency to not just fuck me if it didn’t mean anything.” Wiping at the tears streaming down your face you whirl around towards the door, trying to escape before you broke down any further. 

But Elias is grasping for your hand before you can get to the door, pulling you into his chest. “He’s right,” Elias whispers. “I am in love with you.”

“So why are you acting like such an asshole then?”

Elias pulls back, reaching over to wipe the tears off your cheeks. “Because I was scared. I didn’t think you felt the same way. I thought…I thought you just wanted a, uh, like, friends with benefits. But I know I can’t do that with you so I thought just going back to normal was the only option.”

You let out a shocked breath of laughter, clutching tight to Elias as if he might try to distance himself again if you let up even just a little. “You thought all of a sudden I would try to just turn this into a friends with benefit agreement? After all this time?”

“I didn’t think you could have feelings for me,” Elias mumbles into your hair, holding onto you with just as much intensity. “I mean, look at you. You’re perfect. And I can’t give you everything you deserve, I’m not even here all the time, so…”

“What are you talking about you?” You ask, interrupting Elias’ ramble with a quiet, surprised laugh, your hands moving to the back of his neck as you stare up into his eyes. “You already give me more than I deserve. You’re the person I call when I need anything. You come down to my apartment at two in the morning to kill spiders for me. You pick me up when I have to work late and it’s dark and you don’t want me taking the skytrain at night. You helped me repaint my kitchen on one of the very few days you actually have off. And you don’t have to do any of those things so when you’re not here to do them it’s okay, because it’s already more than I need. You’re more than I need, Elias, and I hate that you would think you aren’t.”

“I love you,” he whispers, saying it like it was a weight off his shoulders. “I love you so much,” he repeats, a smile growing on his face. 

“Should I spend the night here tonight? Or do you want me to sneak out after you fall asleep?” You joke, pressing your lips to his. 

Elias smiles against your lips, pulling back and shaking his head, clearly still feeling guilty. “Don’t leave…you don’t ever need to leave."

[pedrostan]

Home Alone

Summary: while Pedro is away from work y/n struggles to deal with he thirst for Pedro, maybe a facetime call can quench it.

warnings: masturbation, phone sex? , dirty talk, vibrator

words: 1k

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Pedro had left over a week ago and you missed him. It didn’t help that he left 2 days after the whole shower incident, and while feelings were discussed nothing more happened even if you were promised it… and you wanted- no needed it- but having woken up in his arms and not just imagining it was enough to quench your thirst for him, because fuck were you thirsty when he walked out that door.

For the last week you had been moping about with nothing to do except take Edgar for his daily walks and to sit around and stare at your phone until Pedro sends you a message. They were always short texts, just to let you know that he is okay and that he misses you. But you haven’t heard his voice in over a week, and you miss his husky voice, his cheeky smile and his goofiness, not to mention the fact that he always walks around without a shirt, with those muscles on full display for anyone to lick and those grey sweatpants that would be perfect to ride his thick thighs in.

Your hand just reached your panties when a ding caused you to jump. With heavy breaths you quickly scramble after your phone. It lights up to show your simple lockscreen, a photo of Pedro dressed as Agent Whiskey. You smile at the notification showing an “I miss you” message from Pedro and with nothing else to do an idea forms in your head.

Hurrying to Pedro’s bedroom you look in his closet until you find the piece of clothing you were looking for Pedro’s tie-dye hoodie. Taking your shirt and bra on you slowly slip it in. You stand in front of the floor length mirror and pull the side of the hoodie up so your thigh is showing, and your black Calvin Klein panties are on near full display, you pout at the mirror and snap the photo.

“I miss you too, baby” you caption it before sending it to Pedro.

It has been over an hour of you constantly checking your phone with no reply from Pedro before you decide to do anything else. This time you lay on his bead, still in his hoodie but pulled up over your tits, drawstring in your mouth and hand between your legs as you snap another photo, this time you don’t caption it. Instead, you send it and throw your phone to the side as you take your lucky purple vibrator out from the hoodie pocket, you slip your panties off as you start to imagine Pedro’s head between your legs, his beard tickling your thighs as you grab his soft hair and pull it causing him to groan against your clit. You pick up the pace of the vibrator and slowly start to reach your peak as you turn it up to high. You moan at the thought of Pedro slowly licking your clit as you whine above him begging your Papi for more. He smiles against you before slowly pulling away and kissing his way up your body, he reaches your tits and slowly starts to suck your nipple while his hand-

“walk in your rainbow paradise” you jump at the sound of your ringtone; you frantically search for your phone and quickly accept the facetime call from Pedro.

“baby why are you sending me such dirty pictures when I can’t punish you” he says not looking at the phone instead staring into a bathroom mirror as he grooms his moustache.

“Papi” you moan as you continue to pump the vibrator in and out of your wet pussy.

“I missed you” you say breathlessly as you watch his head snap towards his iPad where he can see you sprawled out on his bed, your hand between his legs and your tits on full display. Forgetting everything else Pedro rushes to his phone where he moans at the sight of you.

“fuck, baby” he says as he starts to grow hard “I just finished jerking off to your photos and now you show me this”

He growls as you moan at his words, your hand moving the vibrator up to your nipples and causing them to become rigid.

“Papi, I need you; I need your thick cock in me” you say as you groan at the sensation of the vibrator on your nipples.

“you’re such a dirty slut” he replies palming himself through his sweatpants, “show me how much you want baby, shove that vibrator in your pussy like it was my cock, show me how you would cum for me.”

You do as he says, tilting the phone towards your centre showing Pedro the way you roughly push the vibrator in and out of your glistening centre. You tilt the vibrator slowly, so it hits that spot inside you, and you start to squirm.

“I’d be fucking you into my mattress baby, id grab you by the thighs spread you wide and slam into you until you forgot your own name, I’ll make you drunk from my cum and fill you up until you can’t take anymore” Pedro says groaning at the feeling of his hand wrapped tightly around his cock as he pumps it faster than before.

“Papi, Pedro- fuck- I’m gonna cum, fuck Pedro, when you get home, I’m going to fuck your brains out “you moan out and you groan his name as you finally cum.

“Y/n, fuck, I want to see you ride me, I want to watch your tits bounce while I grab your ass and slam you onto my cock, over and over again” he replies and groans after watching you slip two fingers into your soaking cunt and then into your mouth where you suck them clean. The sight is enough to make Pedro cum as his thick spurts land in his happy trail.

You stare at each other for a few minutes smiling and catching your breath.

“Y/n, I miss you so much, I was thinking that maybe you and Edgar would – “Pedro says.

“we would love t0” you reply without letting him finish, at his confused stare you continue “I would never give up the chance for you to hold me and besides, I really want to save a horse and ride a cowboy” you wink and watch as he blushes from your words.