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starstruckmiraclekitty · 2 years ago

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Hear me out.....pretty...pretty Please, some general fluff headcannons for 141 and Konig?! I'm desperate for some fluff. Stuff like how soft they r how they r at home, kisses that sort of thing? Id die of happiness if u did!!!!!?????

141 + König General Fluff Headcannons

Warnings: fluff🩷, mild NSFW references

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Simon Ghost Riley-

It takes him a while to open up to you, but once he does? He's yours forever.

He is more of a listener than a talker, and he is damn good at listening

You always have to be within his line of sight. He always wants to make sure you're safe.

Definitely gets up before you in the mornings and loves to wake you up with coffee

Not big on PDA, but he doesn't mind holding your hand out in public.

Doesn't say I love you often, but when he does, it turns your whole world on an axis

Says no to a getting a dog at first, but when you finally get him to say yes? The dog is that man's best friend.

He's not a very good cook when you first get together, but he teaches himself in secret one year to surprise you on your birthday by making you your favorite meal. (Your heart nearly melted at the proud smile on his face when he told you he made it)

This man is loyal as hell. You will NEVER catch him looking anyway at anyone the way he looks at you. No person's beauty in his mind will ever compare to yours

Loves going for long car rides with you. Weekend trips, day trips, whatever works for him. Will ALWAYS have his hand resting on your thigh

He developed a ritual with you, where he will wear one of his hoodies for a few days straight so it smells like him when he goes on deployments

Secretly loves when you wear his dog tags. It's a kink of his he won't voice out loud

Loves to spoon you in bed. Very rarely will he not be holding you, or touching you in some way when he sleeps

Takes him a while, but he'll start to look forward to holidays with your family. They welcome him with open arms, and for the first time in a long time, Simon feels like he has a true family who loves him

John Price-

Loves to hear about your day. First thing he asks you when you come home after work is how was your day? And this man GENUINELY listens

Loves to spoil you. Man gives inadvertent sugar daddy vibes. You even hint at something you like or want? He will get it for you

Huge on spontaneous dinner dates. Loves to come home randomly and tell you he's taking you for a night out

Literally has the hardest time saying no to you. For ANYTHING.

He tries to act all tough, but this man is so whipped for you

Loves when you rest your feet in his lap on the couch, as he loves to massage them for you after a long day

Fight me, but this man loves to take baths with you. He loves to relax in the hot water, with you against his chest. He can literally fall asleep like this

Always insists on paying when you go out to eat. Never, ever let's you foot the bill (if you pout enough, he may let you, but will feel bad about it afterward)

Will watch any TV show you want. He says he hates romantic dramas, but he's just as invested as you are

Kisses with him are always longing, and always want you leaving more

Man is a Valentines Day legend. Flowers, chocolates, jewelry, fancy dinners THE WORKS

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

An amazingly fun boyfriend to have.

Johnny always wants to do something fun, go somewhere fun

He's surprisingly amazing at giving massages

Doesn't mind PDA, he'll randomly kiss you in public, hug you, and hold you close. He doesn't care who sees.

Loves to try new things. Whether it's food, movies, or something to spice up the bedroom, the man will never say no to trying something at least once

Not a morning person, and he will have an iron tight grip on you in an attempt to force you to stay in bed longer with him every morning (he always ends up succeeding)

His ideal date with you is a pub. Something with good food, good beer, and even better company.

Loves to "mislead" you about when he's coming home from a mission, because he absolutely adores the look on your face when he surprises you earlier than expected

Adores double dates. Loves to hang out with couple friends.

When you're walking on a sidewalk, he'll always push you on the inside so you're away from the cars

Definitely is that boyfriend that will send you a dozen tik tok reels a day

Please go to an amusement park with him. He'd be so happy winning the various carnival games for you, getting you any stuffed animal of your choosing

You two cannot do surprises for one another. You get too excited and end up telling each other gifts or surprises the minute you plan them

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

This man loves to surprise you with flowers. Had a bad day? Flowers. Wants you to feel a little extra loved? Flowers. Thought you looked cute one day? Flowers.

Loves to go to furniture stores with you. Even if you don't actually need it, the two of you can spend hours looking around at various stores

Enjoys cooking for you. He's one to try new recipes, and loves seeing your reactions to them.

Firmly believe this man loves to dress up as a couple and that Halloween is his absolute favorite holiday.

Adorably loves to have a "chore" day once a week with you, where you both do house chores together for a few hours, while each of you gets to pick what song plays in the background

So supportive of any hobby you might have. Like to paint? He'll continuously buy you paint brushes. Love video games? He'll buy you any new one that comes out he'd think you'd enjoy.

Whenever you guys go out, he always orders something you like for his meal, in case you don't like yours

If you have longer hair, he loves to play with it and help you style it

Best movie buddy ever. He LOVES going to the movies with you, and will get you all the popcorn and snacks you desire

Will hold your bags for you while you shop, and will fight you if you try to carry your own

König-

Possibly the sweetest boyfriend out of all of them

You will catch him staring at you ALL the time. Any second he gets, he will be looking at you

Loves date night ins. Cooking together or getting takeout and cuddling on the couch together while watching a movie? This man'll be in heaven

Loves to offer you his arm in public. Plays into his size kink when your small hand wraps around his bicep whenever you walk anywhere.

Man will WORSHIP you in bed. Wants nothing more than to make you happy in every aspect of your life.

Is more of a cat person than a dog person, so you two end up getting quite a few kitties around the house

Always kisses you like you're delicate. Loves to place gentle, loving kisses to your lips when you least except it, and his cheeks always flush a deep pink when he does

Will always shower with you. When he's home from missions you very, very rarely shower alone. Loves to help you shampoo your hair

Adores ADORRESSS when you wear his clothes. Triggers the man's size kink like no other when his shirts are like dresses on you

Amazing at aftercare. Always wants to make sure you're satisfied. Will warm a towel for you, get your water-whatever you need.

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riddlerosehearts · 11 months ago

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thinking about how people who watch the emperor's new groove and somehow come out of it shipping pacha and kuzco, or thinking yzma only became evil when kuzco fired her and that she would've been a better ruler than him, are both so wrong in so many different ways and are also missing one of the things that i absolutely love about the movie. which is that, the way i see it, pacha and yzma are counterparts. as parental figures to kuzco.

like, just to get this out of the way first, yzma was a dismissive asshole to a peasant whose family was starving. and yeah, if kuzco had been in her place he definitely would've also done that, which... is why she would not be a better ruler than him. she'd just be the same because they're both horrible people in the exact same ways. her reaction to being fired is to plot murder, and as soon as his funeral is over she sets everyone to work on replacing paintings of kuzco with paintings of herself and covering the palace with imagery that makes it clear that it's all about her now. i'm not even sure why this is a discussion tbh.

and also, kuzco is literally a teenager. he's barely 18 years old. source: in the movie, yzma says at his funeral that kuzco was "taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday." she also claims in the movie to have "practically raised" him, to which kronk replies "yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better". and sure, she could be exaggerating, but what evidence do we have that she is? we learn absolutely nothing of his parents, who are never mentioned even once in the movie, or of anyone else who could've raised him, and she's his advisor who for some reason sees no problem with attending to royal duties in his place. most likely because she's his regent. also, i'm not exactly a fan of the sequel tv series "the emperor's new school" but it does have something that backs up my point: kuzco is revealed to be an orphan and just before his father went and got lost at sea, he asked yzma (who was also his advisor) to take care of kuzco if anything happened to him. so, yeah, the writers who worked on the series clearly thought that yzma genuinely did raise kuzco, and nothing in the movie contradicts this.

and i find the idea of her being his only parental figure for pretty much his whole childhood incredibly interesting because, and this also goes back into why she wouldn't be a better ruler than him--she mirrors him as a reflection of what would've become of him if he'd never met pacha. they're both incredibly arrogant, power-hungry, selfish, and cruel, with a tendency to blame their problems on everyone but themselves. yzma was even originally going to have her own reprise of kuzco's theme song "perfect world", which i really wish had been kept:

[ID: Lyrics that read:

I'Il be the sovereign queen of the nation And the chicest chick in creation I'm the cat with all the cream and ooh-la-la This deadly concentration Will put an end to my frustration Now this perfect world begins and ends with moi

What's my name? Yzma, Yzma, Yzma Yzma (what's my name?) Yzma, Yzma (What'd you say?) Yzma (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!) Yzma. End ID]

(this song can be fully heard in "the sweatbox", the documentary about the making of the movie, and is also on youtube btw)

anyway, i'm sure yzma would not exactly have been the most nurturing or hands-on guardian, especially given that she and kuzco don't exactly treat each other like family. but it makes a lot of sense to think that her behavior influened kuzco's throughout the years. and for the entire movie, she remains determined to kill him. when he tries to reason with her and admits that he should've been nicer, she says the same thing to him that he originally said when he fired her. she never grows or changes and in the end, she hurts the one person who was willing to stand by her (and even then, kronk had never fully been on board with her plan) and he ends up trying to crush her with a chandelier. kuzco on the other hand is able to realize the error of his ways, come to regret who he was in the past, and start taking steps toward being a better person. his theme song gets a reprise where it's changed from a song about one person being the center of the world to a Power Of Friendship song. why? because, as i've already mentioned, he has pacha.

pacha, who similarly to both yzma and kuzco is in a position of authority as the leader of the village but unlike either of them is gentle and humble. who isn't afraid to stand up to kuzco and be honest with him even though he's the emperor, who agrees to take him back to the palace but has no obligation to be so helpful, kind, and caring toward him--and just about every reason not to be--and still chooses to be anyway. pacha who is 45 years old (also stated in the sweatbox documentary) and can see that kuzco is practically still a kid, not a single day over 18, who has time to grow and change. pacha, who already has a wife and two kids with another on the way, but practically treats kuzco like one of his own. who acknowledges that if kuzco dies all his problems will be gone and then still worries about him and goes out of his way to rescue him after he wanders into the jungle. who sees kuzco shivering at night and covers him with his poncho, who carries him when he's genuinely too weak to keep walking, who refuses to give up on him even after repeatedly being betrayed by him because he believes there's good in everyone.

also, while yzma ends up repeating kuzco's harsh words of dismissal as she tells him of her plans to kill him, kuzco had previously repeated pacha's words that "nobody's that heartless" after he saved pacha's life. and as the movie progresses kuzco and pacha's relationship becomes more and more equal and is constantly contrasted by moments of yzma being cruel and unappreciative of kronk's kindness. a good example of this is how kronk is constantly being forced to carry yzma everywhere on his back while yzma literally walks all over him and steps on his hands when she gets down, whereas when pacha briefly carries kuzco after the latter collapses he tells him he'll have to walk the rest of the way later and kuzco doesn't even protest.

idk if i'm even explaining well what i'm trying to say here. but basically, if yzma actually raised kuzco and contributed to his current behavior, then she and pacha both are figures who guided him and helped him grow. only yzma helped him become the tyrant that he was at the start of the movie, who was selfish and callous and saw everyone else as beneath him. whereas pacha helped him see the value in being selfless and considerate of others. and in the end, yzma is stuck as a cat and nobody is concerned about her. kronk has found a new job that makes him genuinely happy, while kuzco has decided to build a hut on the hill next to pacha's and effectively joined his family. in the sweatbox documentary it's even mentioned that chicha and the kids were at risk of being removed from the film, but it was decided that they needed to be there because having just pacha as a single guy who lived alone wasn't interesting enough--kuzco needed to go from having basically an empty world where he had nobody to being able to come together with pacha's whole family. and i just think that's incredibly satisfying and beautiful. it also leads up to one of the few things i really do enjoy about the emperor's new school, which is the fact that during the show kuzco moves in with pacha and chicha and pretty explicitly thinks of them as basically his parents while he's like a son to them.

idk. i feel like my mind went in a million different directions while i was writing all this. but i guess i just think that for all of the praise the emperor's new groove gets for its comedy and for how hilarious yzma and kronk in particular are as a duo, the movie also has a lot of genuine heart that gets overlooked. kuzco's character growth and his unique dynamic with pacha is, for me, really what elevates the movie from just a funny movie that i like to one of my favorite disney movies. and i wish more people appreciated that aspect of it and saw it as a found family story in the same way that treasure planet, brother bear, and lilo and stitch are all found family stories.

#disney #the emperor's new groove #help i wrote a whole essay about this movie #and i didn't even mention how much i love the way kuzco's home life is contrasted with pacha's #ugh. they have one of the most interesting and unique dynamics ever in a disney movie. i love them #love how kuzco gets away from yzma's toxic influence by way of accidentally being adopted #by the guy whose village he almost destroyed for a theme park #they're ENEMIES to FOUND FAMILY.... sobs #kuzco #pacha #yzma #kronk

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notiddygothgf · 23 days ago

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13. Yours

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ Such a good girl. Always following orders. ❞

★ c.w.: smut. (NOT BETA'd. olivia will be my beta-er.) (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: child now when i tell you exams are kicking my ass rn. when will it end omg. ANYWAY! i baked cookies but that didnt cheer me up so i figured id post a chappie early to hear from my pookies during such a difficult time. ily all. ur comments rlly do make my whole week. ANYWAY THIS CHAPTER IS SOOOOO TASTY AND DELICIOUS AND NASTY. im lowkey ashamed of myself. no one look at me. i hope my bf never reads this and realizes how much of a freak i am. id have to kms.

★ w.c: .5.8k

shameless ; chapter index

AFTER DINNER – during which you got to know Aki’s roommates a little better (especially the leg humper) – the four of you sat around the coffee table in the living room. The TV was on low, playing something that Aki had been watching before he dozed off unceremoniously on the floor. He was laying on his side, back turned to you and his roommates, curled up in a little ball with his head in your lap.

Denji, Power and you were knee-deep in an intense game of Uno. You didn’t even remember packing the deck of cards, but if you had to guess, you most likely had stuck it in your purse to keep you entertained on the train.

It had taken you twenty minutes to explain the rules to them, which was right about when Aki decided to lay down for a nap. It took them another two rounds of the game to grasp it.

“Uno!” Power proclaimed, slamming her card on the table and leaving her with…

Three cards. She had three.

“You’ve still got three left, dipshit,” Denji hissed at her. “I didn’t even go to school, and I know that!”

“Exactly, Uno,” She replied, crossing her arms like she did something. “Three letters in Uno, three cards in my grasp. Victory is mine!”

“Uno means one, actually,” You sighed, rubbing your temples. Suddenly, you could see why Aki was so stressed all the time around those two. Two cards sat in the palm of your hand, and you were conflicted. On one hand, granted the color remained green, you could put down your second to last card and call ‘Uno’. On the other…

“You’re lying to me!” Power slammed her fists down on Aki’s table. “You’re only saying that because he won the last one. The two of you are conspiring against me.”

Something told you she wouldn’t take another loss too well.

Aki stirred in your lap, grumbling as he shifted, the sudden commotion disrupting his nap. He sat up slowly, his hair disheveled, and muttered something about grabbing a smoke. He pressed a sleepy kiss to the top of your head before standing and dragging his feet towards the sliding door that led to the balcony. The sound of the door sliding shut was softer than the clamor inside.

“Let’s just move on. We all know you’re not winning,” Denji sucked his teeth, ignoring Aki’s exit. He flicked through his hand (of 21 cards) before putting three green cards down. He chuckled to himself, “Victory is mine.”

Remembering the story Aki told you once about Power putting a hole in the door (and subsequently raising his rent) because she was upset that it didn’t open for her, you sighed, deciding to choose the higher road.

And instead of putting down your green six and shouting Uno, you shook your head, picking a card up from the pile.

You could win another day.

Power put down two cards (which didn’t fully match, but, at this point, you weren’t going to clock her). “UNO!”

You threw your hands up in defeat. “Alright, alright, Power wins,” you said, your tone light with playful surrender.

Denji groaned and threw his cards down in frustration. “I want round four!” he demanded, already scooping up the pile.

You glanced toward the balcony, where Aki was leaning against the railing, fishing a cigarette from his pocket. He patted himself down, likely searching for his lighter.

You shook your head with a laugh. “You guys play without me,” you said, rising from your seat. “Take it to one of your rooms, though. Aki’s gonna lose it if he comes back and sees this mess.”

Both Denji and Power immediately protested. “But they’re your cards!” Denji said, frowning.

“Keep them,” you shrugged, offering him an easy smile. “They’re yours.”

“Really?” Denji’s eyes lit up, and his cheeks flushed a faint pink – and, for a moment, you were reminded of the fact that he was still a boy beneath everything he had been through. He hesitated for a moment, as if he didn’t trust his luck.

You chuckled softly, ruffling his hair affectionately. “Yeah. That way they’ll be here next time we play.”

Denji beamed, and Power—ever the sore loser despite somehow winning—began gathering the scattered cards with a huff.

You bit your lip, stealing a glance at Aki through the glass door. His figure was bathed in the pale glow of the city lights, his face calm as he finally lit his cigarette, taking a slow drag.

Pushing yourself up from the floor, you padded softly toward the door, leaving Denji and Power behind to clean up their mess. As you slid the door open, the cool night air greeted you. Behind you, you could hear the muffled sounds of Denji and Power bickering about how to organize the deck.

But out here, it was just you and Aki.

You stepped closer, the sound of his exhale, the cigarette smoke curling into the night sky, filling the space between you.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” You smiled, shutting the door softly behind you.

When he didn’t immediately acknowledge you, you took a spot next to him on the ledge, with your back up against it. The streets of Tokyo glimmered and bustled below. The skyline stretched out on either side of you.

Finally, Aki answered through a mouthful of smoke, “I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

You stuck your tongue into your cheek, “Who, Denji?” You asked. When your only response was Aki’s gaze, you glanced out over the balcony, “He’s harmless. It’s like a dog humping a visitor’s leg.”

Aki rolled the cigarette between his index and pointer finger before he wrapped his lips around it – slowly, deliberately, like he was lost in thought. “He can hump any other visitor he wants,” He answered. Then, voice a little lower, he added, “You’re mine.”

You bristled at that, a wonton chill running down your spine. Briefly, you remembered his words from earlier – This isn’t over. You may have gotten your fix, but he hadn’t.

And lord knew, as weak as you were for him, you always gave Aki what he wanted.

The heat in your gut made it hard to breathe around him. Back pressed against the cold balcony, you looked into his eyes. Leaning over it with his arm crossed, he mirrored you. You weren’t used to seeing Aki’s jealous side.

But, shit, you weren’t sure you hated it.

“Not until after the divorce,” You remarked with a funny little half-smirk. You couldn’t even remember where you had left your wedding ring – back at the hotel, probably. Didn’t mean much in the first place.

Aki didn’t even crack a smile at your joke. No, he kept on gazing down at you with those thoughtful blue eyes of his, like he was trying to pick you apart at the seams. He looked at the skyline, then back at you, taking another puff of his cigarette and blowing it off to the side.

“Hey,” You asked. Did I go too far? “What’s wrong? Too far?”

You didn’t get a response from him.

“You… You called me your girlfriend in front of those two the other week,” You sighed, “Did you… Did you mean… that? Would you wanna–” You swallowed, wishing that would kill off the butterflies that were swarming around in your belly. “Date… me?”

You had so much finesse. One of these days, you were gonna win an award for it – best conversationalist in the entire world.

Not.

To your surprise, he did answer that question, “Of course I am.”

You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. Aki took another hit of his cigarette – and, truly, only he could make it look so enticing.

“Are you serious about this? About us?” He asked, finally confronting the elephant in the room. “About leaving him?”

You blinked up at him, eyes wide, heartbeat thrumming against your ribs, “Of course I am. Why?”

“Because I don’t think I would be able to take getting my heart broken by you,” He answered truthfully, blowing his bangs out of his eyes so he could look at you. Then, after a beat, he stubbed his cigarette out on the railing, flicking the butt over the edge. He took a bold step towards you.

“Tell me it’s just temporary. Just until the divorce,” He demanded. You hadn’t expected him to confront you about the issue head-on like that but, still, you supposed you couldn’t blame him. You were in and out of his life like a ghost, and your future with him was constantly at risk. When he was close enough to make your face flush, close enough that you could smell the scent of his soap and the smoke that lingered on his clothes, he said, “Tell me you’re mine.”

His words felt like a confrontation, but you couldn’t find it in you to blame him. You had been in and out of his life like a ghost, your presence a fleeting comfort, your absence a constant uncertainty. How could he trust in something that always seemed to be at risk of slipping away?

He moved closer, so close that the warmth of his body seemed to chase away the cold that had begun to settle into your bones. You could smell him—his soap, the faint hint of cologne, the smoke that clung to his clothes. His scent was intoxicating, and you were already a little tipsy, more off him than the wine from earlier.

“I…” you began, throat dry as you licked your lips, your mind racing for the right words. Your eyes flickered briefly to the living room behind you, but it was empty, as if the world had shrunk down to just the two of you on this balcony. “Well, for the moment being—legally, I—”

He didn’t let you finish. “Fuck the law,” he cut you off, his voice hardening, his presence overwhelming, close enough now that you could feel the warmth radiating off of his face. “Tell me you belong to me. Only me.”

His words smothered you, wrapping around you like a vice, and you felt your resolve crumble beneath the weight of his intensity. Your breath hitched, and when his nose brushed yours—just barely grazing, a near kiss that sent heat pooling low in your stomach—you let out a soft, involuntary sigh. Your hands trembled as they hovered near his chest, your voice barely more than a whisper. “I’m all yours.”

His hand shot out, gripping the back of your neck, pulling you toward him with a force that was almost possessive, but not unwelcome. Before you could catch your breath, his lips crashed against yours in a kiss that was rough, unyielding, and full of everything left unsaid.

Your body melted into his, and all thoughts of the cold, of the complications, of everything but him faded into the background. You were his. And in this moment, that was all that mattered.

The kiss was rough, demanding, as if Aki had been waiting for this moment for far too long. His grip on the back of your neck was firm, pulling you closer, claiming you. Your heart pounded against your ribs, every sense overwhelmed by him—his touch, his taste, the way his body felt pressed against yours. But as your lips collided, you realized how exhausting it was to keep craning your neck upward to kiss him.

Without breaking contact, you pushed him back, gently but insistently, guiding him toward the chair on the balcony. Aki stumbled slightly, caught off guard by your sudden movement, and as he fell into the chair, there was a brief pause—his back hit the seat with a soft thud. He looked up at you, his dark eyes filled with heat and surprise, and you couldn’t help but smile, standing over him in your bare-legged, his-sweater-wearing glory.

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. Aki’s gaze traveled slowly up your legs, his hands following, fingertips tracing the soft skin of your thighs with deliberate slowness – like you were a blank canvas he was aching to paint. His touch sent a shiver down your spine, and your breath hitched as you watched him, heart thundering in your chest.

“And you,” you began, your voice catching in your throat as his hands slid higher, his fingers brushing just beneath the hem of the sweater. “Are you…?” You gasped quietly, biting your lip as his hands pressed into the soft flesh of your thighs, his touch both teasing and electrifying. “Are you mine?”

Aki’s eyes darkened, his breath coming out in a shallow exhale. “Yes,” he breathed, his voice rough, filled with something raw, something you hadn’t heard from him before. He looked up at you, his expression almost reverent as he pulled you down onto his lap, guiding you to straddle him.

The moment your body settled against his, his hands gripped your waist, and without hesitation, his lips found yours again. The kiss was hungrier this time, as if now that he had you, he wasn’t willing to let go. His hands slid under the sweater, fingers splaying against your back, pulling you impossibly closer. Your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging lightly as you deepened the kiss, feeling his breath hitch against your lips.

You deepened the kiss, feeling his breath hitch lightly against your lips. When you pulled away, the tension was back, heavier than before. Aki’s eyes met yours, darkened with that familiar intensity. You barely had time to catch your breath before his lips were on you again—rougher this time, needier. The kiss was messy, open-mouthed, his tongue sliding against yours with a kind of desperate hunger that left you breathless.

He was pressing up against your core – achingly hard, throbbing right up against your heat. It was too much and not enough at the same time.

His hands roamed your body, pulling you closer, his grip firm as if he was afraid to let go. You melted into him, completely giving in, your lips moving together with an urgency that had been building all evening. The sound of his heavy breathing mingled with yours, filling the little balcony.

When he finally pulled back, it was only for a second, just long enough to murmur against your lips, his voice rough and low. “You still want more, baby?”

“Always,” you breathed, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. “You?”

He grinned, that familiar mischievous spark lighting up his eyes, though now there was a darker edge to it. “I’m an addict. You already know this,” he said, his voice dropping to a playful purr. “I’ll have you whenever I can, wherever I can.”

A thrill shot through you, the heat between you both palpable. “Right here?” you teased, your lips curling into a smile. “Shouldn’t we go inside?”

“Why bother?” he quipped, his grin widening as his fingers traced the curve of your waist. His eyes darkened further, a glint of challenge sparking in them. “You scared?”

You felt the rush of adrenaline, a mix of fear and excitement, but you didn’t want to back down—not now. To prove it, you kissed him hard, pressing your body into his, letting your hands roam beneath his shirt. Your fingertips grazed over the hard lines of his abs, feeling his muscles tense under your touch.

He groaned into your mouth, and it spurred you on, the fire between you flaring even hotter – God, you loved how reactive he was.

“I’m still ready from earlier,” you whispered breathlessly against his lips, reaching between your body and his to tug impatiently at the drawstrings of his pants. “I can’t wait any longer.”

His hands gripped your hips, pulling you flush against him as he growled, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours. “Good,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing, “Neither can I.”

Then he was lifting his hips – and taking you with him, wiggling his pants just low enough to free his erection. He reached beneath your sweater, hooking the crotch of your panties beneath his finger and pulling them to the side with a quiet mumble of, “Stay quiet and we won’t get caught.”

You reached behind your ass, lining his head up with the place where you needed him the most. Then, taking a deep breath and holding it in anticipation, you pushed down on it. It was slight, just enough for the tip to be in – just enough to have you mewling, gripping his shoulders with unwarranted strength. A wince, and then you took in another inch or two.

His pretty blue eyes were on you – only you. Like he was amazed. Like you were the only thing he wanted. You loved the way they blinked slowly, waiting for your next move. You loved the way they seemed to glimmer beneath the moonlight. You loved the way they rolled back when you sank down onto him until your ass was flush up against his hips – finally melding your bodies together with a synchronized gasp.

He was warm, so warm. It felt as if he was meant to be there – buried deep inside of you, keeping you nice and full.

You leaned down, licking his lower lip. With a groan, he gripped your hair at the base of your scalp roughly, slipping his tongue into your mouth and pressing your lips together. Then, he used his other hand to rock your hips back and forth – and it was the most agonizingly delicious sensation ever. You could feel your pussy aching with the stretch of him, a dull throb accompanied by the overwhelming pleasure you got every time he massaged your walls.

Back, then forth. Back, then forth – as if he had all of the time in the world to rock you in his lap.

You leaned your head back, letting your lips part around a contented sigh of, “Feels good, Aki”.

You lifted yourself off of his lap, then brought yourself back down – just once, just to test the waters. Immediately you were bathed in a familiar warmth, one that crawled its way down your spine from the back of your neck. It felt good– really good, so you did it again.

“Ah– hah,” He laughed breathlessly. Out here, it was dead silent. In fact, other than the noises from the street below, the only thing you could hear was your mingled pants, the quiet grunts he let out every time you moved. He seemed so pent up.

Then, you remembered that he was pent up. After all, he hadn’t gotten his fix yet.

So you did what any lover would have done in your shoes. You braced your hands on his strong, broad shoulders and planted your feet firmly for support, bouncing on his dick the way you knew he liked. The way that drove him crazy.

He let out a long, drawn-out, sinful moan of your name. The syllables sounded like a symphony falling from his lips. “You’re gonna kill me.”

And, fuck, you were seeing stars. He was so deeply nestled in your guts that you didn’t think you would ever be able to form a coherent thought again. Dickwhipped, just as Himeno said.

You thought of him on this very same balcony only a few months earlier, confessing to you.

“I’m a bad influence on you, aren’t I?” He mused quietly. His hand ghosted over your neck, leaving goosebumps in its wake, gripping your chin and gently tilting your gaze up to meet his eyes. “I have a better idea.”

You raised a brow at his antics. Wordlessly, he took a long, lazy drag or his cigarette. His thumb tugged down on your lower lip, begging for entry – which you provided obediently.

He was the image of sin, pretty blues half-lidded and trained on the place where his calloused thumb met your lip. He brought your face closer to his slowly, like he was trying to gauge your feelings before he made his move.

Then – when his mouth brushed delicately against yours – he tugged your lip open in tandem with his own, breathing the smoke into your mouth.

And you felt yourself shiver – perhaps it was the cold gust of wind that hit your back. Either way, you stopped, telling him, “You’re so hot when you smoke, you know that? You make it look so tempting.”

“You think?” He breathed – his words light but his voice heavy. “Don’t start.”

“It turns me on,” You admitted.

His eyes widened at that. Then, they darkened. Slowly, he reached for the carton of cigarettes he had discarded on the table earlier – it was standing upright atop a stack of magazines and newspapers. Flipping it open with one hand, he fished a stick out, popping it between his teeth.

He replaced the carton on the table, handing you his lucky lighter.

“Spark me, pretty mama,” He spoke lazily, eyes half lidded and dangerous.

You did exactly that – like he wasn’t still throbbing inside of you, like you weren’t dripping down his thighs – holding the lighter up to his lips and striking it until the flame took. Once the end of the cig sizzled, you set it down on the table.

Aki puffed smoke out of the corner of his mouth, then pulled a long, savory drag. The smoke poured out of his nose, then his lips.

“Addict,” He hummed.

“That’s rich–” You began, sucking your teeth at him with the slightest pout, interrupted only when he gripped the fat of your ass, picking you up and bouncing you gently enough that his dick shifted inside of you. The pleasure was searing white-hot, utterly intoxicating. “Fuckin– shit…”

“Keep going how you were going before,” He hummed. His digits formed a little peace sign in front of his face as he pulled another hit, then pinched the cigarette as he breathed it out to the side. When you started bouncing with a little more vigor, he laid his head back, sighing with content, “You got it, just like that.”

“Feel so fuckin’ good inside of me,” You praised him, chasing that high you so-desperately craved.

“Such a good girl. Always following orders,” He tilted his head at you. Then, the young Captain rolled his tongue over your lower lip, commanding, “Open up.”

You opened your mouth, half expecting him to spit into it, but that never happened. Instead, his hand traced a path from your lips down to your neck. His fingers wrapped themselves around your throat, keeping a grip strong enough to have your head feeling light with heady desire. Then, while your mouth was still open, he pulled you in closer – all while encouraging you quietly to keep going.

He turned his head to the side, sucking on his cigarette until the cherry burned bright orange. Then, he opened his mouth and moved a little closer, lining your lips up just enough– just right, so that he could shotgun the smoke into your eager mouth.

The pleasure burned white hot, deep inside of you.

“Hold it,” He told you.

You sealed your lips around the smoke, even when it burned– even when it made your eyes water. You would do anything for him.

Then, breathlessly, he connected your lips, sucking the smoke back out of your mouth. He turned his head to the side and breathed it out.

You bounced on him even harder – until the chair was creaking with the force of how hard you were riding him.

“Aki,” You gasped – loud enough for him to hear, but quiet enough that the others wouldn’t. “Aki, baby.”

He pressed your thighs together, rolling you back and forth just right – just enough that you could feel the length of him splitting you apart with the most delicious squelch. Your eyes rolled so far back you damn near saw the back of your skull.

“I’m right here,” He answered. He gripped your hip a little harder with the free hand he had, eyes squeezing shut, muttering against your lips, “God– You’re so good, feel so good– So good for me.”

Without breaking the kiss, he scooped you up into his big, strong arms. He threw your legs around his waist haphazardly.

And you, as weak for him as you were, found yourself kissing him back. Kissing him until your lungs burned with the strain of it, until he set you down and backed you up against the balcony.

“Wanna bend you over the ledge and let the whole city know whose ass this is,” He panted. His hand replaced itself on your jaw – fingers digging into the skin of your neck. “You want that? Want me to show them all?”

He spun you around and pressed your back down until your chest met the cold railing. He kicked your trembling legs apart, slotting himself beneath them.

You could feel him pressed up against you, his warmth, his hard angles, and it sent a jolt of electricity through your entire body.

“It’s mine,” He growled into a kiss against the back of your neck. “Don’t give a shit what the law says. You’re mine.”

You hated how right he was. From the start, it had been that way. The moment he’d bought you that damned glass of wine at the Public Safety party, your husband couldn’t have been further from your mind.

“Aki, I–” You were about to say, but the words died in your throat when he nestled his cockhead between your folds and slid right back in – deeper this time, out where the whole world could see you. You gasped out like it was ripped from your lungs, fingers digging into the railing while he split you open. “Fuck!”

You were about to fucking pass out. He slid into you with such ease, fuck.

He ran his hand up your back – hiking the sweater up, sliding further up until his fingers threaded themselves into your hair. Then, roughly, he gripped you by the scalp and craned your head back.

“Let ‘em know, then, baby,” He growled. “Let em know who’s fucking you like this.”

He resumed his harsh pace, and you were seeing stars, shapes, colors. Every time his pelvis smacked against your ass, every time he bottomed out inside of you – over and over and over, all you could do was gasp and cry for him.

“Aki-iii–” You moaned, reaching back to dig your fingernails into his sweatpants. “Aki!”

He was, without a fraction of a doubt, fucking the everloving shit out of you. Fucking you so hard your eyes were fluttering shut, so hard you couldn’t help but wonder if your husband could hear you all the way over there, on the other side of Tokyo.

“You’re mine,” He growled, landing a smack to your ass, going hard enough for it to hurt just right. “Right, hmm? Allllll mine.”

“God, yes!” You cried out – all but screaming the words. “Fuck, ye-es!”

“Fuck, it’s all mine,” Your husband panted, thrusting into you one last time before stilling.

You felt his seed fill you. With a wince, you bit your lip. A few more pants, and he was collapsing on top of you.

“That was fuckin’ great,” He laughed breathlessly. “Did you cum?”

You forced a smile. “Yeah,” you lied, “Yeah, I did.”

“Aki, don’t stop–” You whined, feeling him pistoning into you – hitting that spot that had your legs shaking. “Aki, ‘m close! Fuck, ‘m so close, don’t stop!”

“I won’t, baby,” He answered you. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Pretty pussy. All mine, yeah?”

“Mhm,” You answered dumbly.

A few more harsh thrusts, and you were teetering over the edge. A few more, and you were dripping for him, dripping down your thighs, dripping onto the balcony.

“Say it,” He gasped out.

You obeyed, “‘S yours.”

You were close. So close that you could feel the train coming an awful lot sooner than you expected.

“Louder,” He said again.

You bit back a moan, feeling your legs begin to tremble again with the weight of your impending release. You were close, too close to resist him. You glanced back at him, watching as his mouth parted to release a shaky gasp of your name. He made it look so pretty, so sinful. His legs shook against the back of your own. The muscles in his abdomen tensed up.

Guess I'm not the only one getting close to losing it.

"Yes! Yes!" You gasped out as he landed another spank on your ass. "It’s yours!" His eyes met yours in a lustful daze.

His.

"Mine," He growled back in response. "No one else's."

You were getting closer now. The coil in your stomach was pulled as tight as it could go. "Mmh- yours!"

“Cum for me, baby,” He growled into your ear, leaning over to press a kiss to your neck. “Let the whole city know.”

Finally, you cried, “Fuckin’ love you, fuck– ‘M cumming– Oh, God, I’m cumming!”

The coil snapped, and your hips jolted rhythmically against him. You felt your walls clench around his dick, a sensation that made him lurch forward and reach his own orgasm.

This one hit you even harder than before, wave after wave of powerful pleasure shooting through you at the speed of light – back arching as he spilled into you.

He went for your lips again immediately after, kissing you softly while the two of you came down from your high. He kissed you breathlessly, passionately, like he would die if he stopped.

You pulled away from him with a breathless laugh. “Denji told us to be quiet. You think he heard us?”

“I’m sure they heard us down in Osaka,” He retorted. Easing out of you, he kissed your cheek, “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

You leaned into Aki’s warmth, letting his arm settle over you as he drifted, his breathing soft and even. It was so quiet in his room, so still, with only the faint hum of the city filtering through the window. Every time you stirred, his grip tightened—each small movement pulling you deeper into a comfort you didn’t expect to find, a warmth that was just... easy. Your mind told you to leave, to pull yourself out of his bed and back to your real life, but you kept slipping further into his quiet embrace, letting the soft rhythm of his breathing lull you closer to sleep.

When you finally shifted to get up, his arm tightened, and a small groan slipped from his lips. “No, stay,” he murmured, half-awake, his voice rough and muffled in the pillow.

You froze, caught off guard by the quiet plea in his voice, the lazy way he pulled you back into his warmth, his eyes still barely open. “Just for a minute,” you whispered, barely believing the words yourself as you settled back into his bed, close enough to feel his steady breaths against your shoulder.

And somehow, that minute stretched on, fading into a quiet comfort that slipped you straight into sleep.

You didn’t know how long you’d been asleep when you jolted awake, your eyes flying open in the gray pre-dawn light. You grabbed your phone, the bright screen stinging in the dim room as your heart lurched—three missed calls. Tanimoto. Your chest tightened as you quickly checked the time. Three hours late. And no response.

Your hand shook as you reached over, placing it lightly on Aki’s shoulder. “Aki,” you whispered, your voice barely audible in the quiet. He shifted, his eyes cracking open, barely awake.

“I need to go,” you said, trying to steady your breath, keeping your voice low. “I was supposed to be home three hours ago. I… have four missed calls from my husband.”

It took him a second to process your words, his eyes foggy with sleep, his brow furrowing as he glanced at you. “Oh.” He blinked, nodding vaguely, his expression softening as he drifted back under, already halfway lost in sleep again before you’d even moved from the bed.

Your stomach twisted as you looked at him, his face relaxed in the soft morning light, that gentleness still hanging in the air. You stood, gathering your things as quietly as you could, moving slowly to keep from waking him. With one last look back at his sleeping form, you slipped out of his apartment and into the early morning chill, pulling your jacket tighter around yourself.

The streets were empty, the world still draped in that soft gray light, suspended between night and morning. It felt surreal, the cold air biting as you made your way back to the hotel, your heart pounding faster with each step closer to the door. Everything about the night felt like a blur, a vivid dream you couldn’t quite hold on to as reality crept back in.

By the time you slipped your key into the lock and stepped inside, it was close to four in the morning. You froze, the silence pressing in around you, the kind that only the early morning could bring. Setting your keys down on the table, you glanced around the room, the stillness somehow both familiar and foreign, like you were seeing it for the first time and knowing it by heart at once.

Moving quietly, you slipped into the bedroom, the dim outline of Tanimoto’s form on the bed barely visible in the low light. His breathing was steady, calm, a stark contrast to the way your own pulse hammered in your chest. You paused, watching him for a moment, feeling the familiar ache that always seemed to linger, a tension you couldn’t name, and slowly let out a breath.

You slid into bed beside him, the cool sheets clinging to your skin as you settled in, a scowl twisting your lips as you stared at the ceiling. Every sound seemed louder here, the soft hum of the heater, the faint creak of the mattress, even Tanimoto’s gentle breathing beside you—each one a reminder of everything else, the weight of the night sinking in, pressing down on you in the quiet.

But as you lay there, the events of the night replayed in your mind. Aki’s quiet “stay” whispered through your thoughts, lingering there, unshakable, like a memory that refused to fade. You could still feel his arm around you, his warmth, that slight hitch in his breath when he’d pulled you close. And then Tanimoto’s missed calls, lighting up your screen with an urgency that made your stomach twist with guilt.

A sigh slipped from your lips, and you closed your eyes, trying to push it all away. But it clung to you, that sense of being caught between two worlds, pulled in two directions at once. The ache of it made your chest tighten, the memory of Aki’s soft plea echoing in your mind. You could almost still feel the warmth of his breath against your skin, the gentle weight of his arm around you, lulling you into sleep.You were fucked. (And you were fucked good).

a/n: heyyyy…. ahem… how yall doing after that……… look you already know im one feral mf. no one make eye contact rn. god i love him and i LOVED writing this chapter. i hope you all enjoyed reading it just as much!! its all uphill tension from here! Lmfao! ttm in the comments!! how r yall? howd you like it?? what do you want to see in coming chapters?? Also, QOTD: is anime himeno a groomer? (and why is the answer yes)

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

#notiddygxthgf ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚#shameless!#aki hayakawa #aki x reader #aki hayakawa x reader #hayakawa aki x reader #csm x reader #chainsaw man x reader #aki smut #aki fluff #aki x you #aki hayakawa x you #hayakawa aki x you

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stampgwifeyera · 4 months ago

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why i love house md so much

while i don't use a mobility aid i do have a lot of chronic pain and because of that i relate so much to house. i think one of my favorite things is the way he'll self harm to distract himself from the pain like in season one when he broke his hand or when he gave himself a migraine or when he would pace around his room constantly to tire himself out even the fact that he uses his cane incorrectly causing him extra pain or how he constantly rubs his left leg (which HAS to hurt) its just so real to the chronic pain experience and i love seeing it.

one of my favorite scenes from the show is in S8 and Taub tells him that Wilson just doesn't want to be in pain and house just yells at him that "LIFE IS PAIN I WAKE UP I'M IN PAIN I GO TO WORK IN PAIN, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES IVE WANTED TO GIVE UP? HOW MANY TIMES IVE WANTED TO END IT?" its just all too relatable and devastating as house lives for Wilson (and his job) so the fact Wilson wouldn't go through a fraction of the pain he goes through daily for him probably broke his heart. (not that I'm angry at Wilson or smth i get why he did what he did)

another thing too is the way he makes his pain his identity he doesn't want to get help because his pain is who he thinks he is hes scared of getting better because hes become used to being in pain, i remember thinking like that too because when you live in chronic pain you get so used to it you're scared of the change that it getting better would bring you'd rather suffer than change such an integral part of your daily life even if its torture. and i never thought id see something like that on tv but this show actually shows it and i almost cried seeing my experience represented so well.

being in constant pain changes you so much and i don't think a lot people truly realize what it can do to you.

anyways sorry for the rant i just love this show so much!!

#house md #gregory house #james wilson #chris taub #hatecrimes md #disability representation

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for-a-longlongtime · 6 months ago

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it 'only' took three years

3 years ago the university dept. where I was doing my PhD (with two years of funding) decided "nah we're not gonna let you come back from your medical leave, we're a bunch of ableist conservative assholes who don't want to give you the funding you were promised". They refused to let me re-enroll in classes, jeeted me from my program... and cancelled my student visa on the spot. In the middle of the fucking pandemic. So just like that I was suddenly undocumented, without insurance and unable to work legally.

So a fuck ton happened during the past three years (death, illness, and my mental health going completely to shit), my partner and I got married so I could get my immigration paperwork adjusted/filed, but y'all... that shit is expensive af. And I wasn't allowed to work legally, so it took a long time to get the funds I needed, plus lawyer fees, and then there's the endless waiting for updates from USCIS/the government.

BUT TODAY... I FINALLY GOT MY GREEN CARD!!!

I can't even tell you what an incredible relief it is to no longer live in fear - though I recognize that even when I was undocumented, I still had a lot of privileges being a white ciswoman with a BA who had a partner that was able to provide for us both. Also, finally being a permanent resident in the US means that I can finally safely fly to my country of origin to visit my family and friends at least. I haven't seen my best friends and sister in over 4 years, and haven't been able to hug my nephew and niece (and other family) in 4,5 years, so... it's been unreal.

ANYWAY. We just went out for dinner to celebrate, and while we were having a drink and burgers, what do I suddenly see on the tv above the bar??

JACK. I couldn't even fucking believe it - Kingsman was playing on the tv. What an incredible surprise (I'm gonna call it a little blessing) to have that happen on a day like today, it made me so giddy.

Things are finally looking up again, and I can't tell you what a relief it is. Next on the list of 'how to get my life back' is getting a state ID and learning how to drive so I can get my license (yup, I'm late thirties and still no clue how to drive a car), as well as finding a job!

I don't post a ton of personal stuff like this on my page, but I just had to share the good news with all of you. So many of y'all have been incredibly supportive - be it in general or particular re: this situation, and even just discovering the Pedro fandom (and fic verse) over the past year has been bringing me so much joy. I hope that now some serious life shit like my paperwork is dealt with, I'll have more headspace to do better and more writing, as well as catch up on my reading and rb-ing!

#personal #for a long long time

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hollow-prior · 3 months ago

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3 Criminally Underrated Musicals (And why you should listen to them)

1) The Mad Ones

[Image Description: Kerrigan and Lowdermilk's The Mad Ones. It shows an empty road disappearing into the distance under a starry sky. Full ID in alt text. End ID.]

You know that feeling of driving fast down an empty road with the windows down, the wind whipping through your hair? You know that feeling of being able to do anything you want, like the world is right at your fingertips, just waiting for you? You know that feeling of sitting in the middle of the woods with a good friend and thinking about how incredible it is that you live on the same planet at the same time?

Well, this is that feeling.

The Mad Ones is about Sam, who just graduated high school, and her friend Kelly, who died in a car accident before she could graduate. It's about Sam's journey in remembering Kelly and learning to live in the moment without her. It's also about freedom, and expectations, and living life to its fullest.

Also it has the phrase "kidnapped by aliens with enormous genitalia". What's not to love?

Seriously, this is one of my all time favourites and it has a very special place in my heart. I love to listen to it on those rare days when everything seems to be falling into place and it feels like life is actually going somewhere.

From a writing perspective, this is just an incredible masterpiece. The lyrics just stir something in my soul and the friendship between Kelly and Sam is just <33333 (Heart). It deserves so much more love than it gets.

2) The Lightning Thief

[Image Description: The cover of The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical. It shows a blue brick wall with a yellow glowing lightning bolt symbol against it. Full ID in alt text. End ID.]

Okay, so the books are iconic and the movies sucked and the TV show is looking good but everyone's been sleeping on the musical for far too long. I had my doubts at the beginning too, I'll admit it, but honestly this slaps.

Although it isn't an exact one-to-one with the books, the vibes are spot on which is the most important thing anyways.

Percy is a sarcastic little shit, Annabeth is a total smartass, and Grover is... well, the impossible-to-explain awesomeness that is Grover Underwood. As funny as it is, though, there are some moments that just hit you right in the feels. The Tree on the Hill, anyone? My Grand Plan?

Also the Luke reveal gives me literal chills every time. It's so SO well done, much better than any other depiction in my humble opinion.

The whole thing is just an excellent balance of feels and humour and has some truly iconic lines. Case in point:

Percy: "Grover, you're a good friend." Grover: "Awwww. Dude, I'm your only friend."

Mr. D: "Oh, you're alive. I suppose that's good news for you but it means a lot more paperwork for me, so don't expect me to be happy to see you. Of course, being alive is temporary..."

Luke: "The Hermes cabin takes anyone who hasn't been claimed. You know what that means... we're literally the reject cabin. Welcome to the dysfunctional family!"

[Literally just the entirety of Luke's part in Their Sign]

Grover: "You hurt his feelings. Tell the squirrel you're sorry." Percy: "I am not saying sorry to a squirrel." Annabeth: "He's very sorry. Tell the squirrel you're sorry, Percy."

Alright, anyways! This is the Percy Jackson website, right? It's great, just listen to it.

Moving on!

3) 35MM: A Musical Exhibition

[Image Description: The cover of 35MM: A Musical Exhibition. It's a red background with a black, ink-like camera design from above. Full ID in alt text. End ID.]

God, how do I even begin to explain 35MM?

There's so much going on here in the best way possible. It's not a traditional musical, at least not in the way people immediately think of musicals.

The idea behind 35MM is that there's multiple separate songs, each based on a photograph. That said, there are some theories about the level of connection between the songs and if they're even connected at all. Either way, it's absolutely incredible.

The songs all have different themes including babysitting a murder doll, a homicidal prom queen, a vampire love story, the young love car crash tragedy that lives in my heart forever, and many more! If you're a fan of the strange, unusual, and vaguely unsettling, this is the musical for you.

Although the fandom is small, it's incredibly dedicated and there are some truly wonderful animatics on YouTube to check out as well as some theory threads on Tumblr, Reddit, and basically anywhere else if you look hard enough.

I made the mistake of accidentally introducing my English professor to this musical so now you all can be introduced too!

And now some honourable mentions:

Islander

Islander is an acapella musical done entirely by two women. It tells the story of an island nation that was split in half long ago, with two girls (Each from one of the halves) meeting for the first time. It has a super cool Scottish folk song-style of music to it and just an incredible plot.

Jekyll & Hyde

Jekyll & Hyde is the musical adaptation of the famous gothic story. It's intense and dramatic in all the best ways and I Need to Know always sends shivers through me. The voices are incredible and it's just AHHH!! Wonderful! Also Confrontation is a work of art and nobody can tell me otherwise.

36 Questions

36 Questions is kind of unique in that it's a podcast musical, meaning that there's no stage performance. In the most basic terms, it's about two people trying to fix their marriage with the whole '36 questions to help strangers fall in love' type thing. Part of one of the songs, For the Record, was a popular song on TikTok a few years back so it may be somewhat familiar to folks. Either way, worth a listen!

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synthetickitsune · 2 years ago

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ateez + the little things

Hongjoong ❧ It’s late, yet you’re dragging on your nightly routine as much as possible. Wherever you go, you keep your phone within reach. The ringtone is on too, a change from the usual silent setting that you always forget to turn off. Hongjoong is a busy man. You doubt there exists a number to count all his apologies that you’ve accepted with a fond smile. You know that he cares, that he worries, and so you always keep your phone close. It’s always a surprise when it does ring, but it has taught you not to fear the sudden incoming calls too much - even if it’s all the more disappointing when the caller’s id doesn’t read his name. When it rings this late at night, you know what to expect; his tired voice drawling the words. He never talks about work, that’s for when you’re together, for when he can hold you as you ramble about this week’s infuriating incidents and for when you run your hands through his hair. No, his phone calls are always for one thing only - “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Seonghwa ❧ It’s a struggle to stay on top of everything - what with your job, your interests, the chores, maybe some social life and sleep squeezed in. Seonghwa is painfully aware of that and it’s honestly near the top of the list of reasons why you’re grateful to have him. What’s the number one reason, though, is his superpower. You’ve never met anyone like him and you’re sure he’s ruined at least half of the population for you. Because somehow, he helps you without making you feel like he’s nagging. And you know it’s his choice to treat you that way from the stories the other members tell you. He reminds you of stuff that needs to be done urgently and makes sure that you’re making progress on anything that takes a while to finish as the deadline is coming closer, and somehow he does so in a way that doesn’t make you want to give up on the task in question. Perhaps it’s the fact that he remembers all those things with his own busy schedule, or maybe it’s the proud look in his eyes and lingering kiss he gives you when you tell him you’re done. Who knows.

Yunho ❧ He knows when you need to get up, when you need to get up, just like he knows the type of breakfast that you can eat without upsetting your stomach early in the morning, what you like to drink to wake up and he doesn’t forget to prepare the vitamins next to the cup to keep you healthy. Yunho roughly remembers the time you need before you truly begin to function and he makes sure you’re out of the bed with enough time before you need to leave. If he can, he does anything in his power to make sure your morning goes smoothly. Your routines are so intertwined now it’s not that big of a deal anyway, but you appreciate it more than he’ll ever know. While your efforts are not as intricate, you try. Making sure he ate, reminding him to take breaks and that he’s already doing well, hugging him from behind when he least expects it. Yet he always one-ups you. It’s not a competition, of course, but any time you melt into his kiss while he’s rushing out the door has you feeling like he’s winning in this domestic life thing.

Yeosang ❧ If you didn’t know any better, you’d think you live with an angel. It’s rare to find a person as caring and generous as Yeosang. Or maybe you’re just taking advantage of him, even if he keeps reassuring you that’s not the case. The thing is, you’re pretty sure this world doesn’t deserve him - or at the very least, you don’t. He always shares with you without expecting anything in return. Peeling oranges is so much work, yet he never hesitates to give you at least half of his without you having to ask. You laugh at the couples on tv that fight over sharing fries because your saint of a boyfriend always encourages you to take his. Whatever is his, is yours. Although he might grumble playfully, he never threatens to take back the clothes you borrow. He’s bought another pillow because you kept saying that it’s more comfortable than yours. He shares his shower gel, his shampoo, his cologne sometimes too, just because you mentioned you liked smelling like him. You can only hope he won’t mind sharing his future with you too.

San ❧ He always stays aware of the looks people give him and how they react to him. San’s only wish is for everyone to be comfortable around him, and you most of all. As much as he knows you admire the hard work he’s put into his body and that your eyes linger on him just a second longer when he’s walking around shirtless, he knows that sometimes his appearance is something he needs to be mindful of. Conflicts happen in every relationship and sometimes people are simply too on edge. And that’s when he knows to sit down, ideally, or to focus on calming down even if it means holding his tongue when all he wants to do is argue back, to keep his posture relaxed instead of standing proud and rolling his shoulders back. He teaches himself patience for you. The last thing he wants is to scare you, and he knows how easy it is to make you flinch when emotions are high. It’s hard, but it’s all worth it when you no longer worry about approaching him after a fight. When you always finish making up with him by whispering a thank you against his lips.

Mingi ❧ The one thing that never fails to fascinate you about Mingi is how much attention he pays to you. Sometimes it might almost seem like he's hovering, but it's really just that he likes to spend his rare free time with you and make sure you're alright. He can't always be there for you and it makes him feel guilty, so he's trying to compensate for it when he can. And it's magical. He somehow always notices when you're about to bump into something, when you hold the knife in a dangerous way while cutting vegetables, or when you accidentally drop something and he pulls you right back so you don't get hurt. It's unbelievable how fast his reflexes work when it comes to you… and how he still manages to get hurt in all the ways he protects you from. If it wasn’t for his sheepish smile and hundred muttered apologies when you patch him up or get him an ice pack for his burned hand, you’d think he does it for attention.

Wooyoung ❧ He’s pretty sure he’s never made anyone as happy as he makes you. As you dig into the meal he’s prepared according to a recipe he’s never tried before, Wooyoung can’t hold back his smile at the sight of your cheeks filled with his food. He tries to fight it, but the genuine delight he sees on your face makes it impossible. It’s different from the proud look in your eyes when you see him perform, unlike the loving smile you grace him with each day or the happiness you radiate whenever he brings you little silly knick-knacks that reminded him of you. This is… purer? Is that the word? He can’t quite describe it, but he swears it’s the closest thing to pure joy he’s ever seen. And in turn it makes him smile the exact same way at you and your heart flutters because this is the effect you have on him? You end up smiling at each other like two idiots, your cheeks round and full with food, they burn because you’ve been grinning for the past ten minutes straight. It must be love.

Jongho ❧ Sometimes he wonders whether you’re getting tired. Feelings are messy, and expressing them is something he’s always struggled with, which usually leads to you making the first step. It’s a struggle to find the compromise between your individual love languages and Jongho will be the first one to admit you’re doing a significantly better job. Somehow you always manage to respect his boundaries while expressing yourself in the way you’re comfortable and making him feel loved. He’s trying, too, yet it seems to him it’s not enough. Maybe it’s the time strain, maybe it’s his own self-doubt creeping in. All he knows is that he loves you, and that it’s much easier to ramble, to vent, to be vulnerable and clumsily tell you all that he feels and thinks when you’re not looking at him with those eyes that make him feel like you already know each word he’s about to say. He’s so careful and gentle with his touch when you lay next to him asleep, his voice barely above whisper. Sometimes he hopes you’re only pretending and that you listen to him in silence. And sometimes he’s right.

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #atz fluff

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muns0nslov3r · 9 months ago

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OMG I DIDNT KNOW YOU WROTE FOR ARGYLE!! I need thigh riding with argyle omg I haven’t found anything like it yet 😭 I can see him being in disbelief that it’s happening and just be like like “holy shitt” and both him and reader would definitely be high. I can’t see argyle being tooooo kinkly, he would probably just praise so if you could do something like that id scream in my pillow for 3 hours straight 😭 you don’t have too! I’ve heard that your sick so take you’re time sweetheart :) but thank you if you do write it!

I LOVE YOUR WRITING BY THE WAY🤭 take care!!

i feel so bad for pushing this off, but i’ll definitely do this!!!! honestly this request is amazing, and i legit feel so bad for not remembering to do this 😭 i’ll try and make it extra special for you as a little i’m sorry :3

argyle and you were relaxing after a long day of him working, both of you tired and high. cuddling up with eachother as something played on the tv, it was hard to pay attention to whatever was on tv when all you could think of was argyle.

he smelt good, was so warm and cuddly.. and his hair. don’t get me started on how obsessed you are with his beautiful hair. you guys were laying down, argyle on his back while you laid on top of him.. straddling his thigh slightly as your head rested on his chest, your hand playing with a strand of his hair.

you and argyle were together for 6 months now, and you two have never got down and dirty.. mainly cause of how shy and self conscious he’d get, always worried that you wouldn’t be attractive to him if you saw him like that.

or that you wouldn’t like how his body was, sense he had a soft tummy. people in the past would always tease him about his body, so ever sense he’s been conscious of it.

yet when you guys got to, or if you, argyle, jonathan, and will and el went out during the california summers. you’d encourage him to come in, and swim with you. and you’d always get to see his pretty body, you loved it. he was like a soft teddy bear.

and you didn’t care if argyle was skinny or not, you just cared about his personality.. and christ did you love his personality. anyways, you two were cuddled up.. and of course, you were ovulating. always got so desperate and horny during those times, and it didn’t help how high you were made everything feel ten times better. and more overwhelming.

fidgeting slightly as you let out a little shaky breath, that ache in your crotch forming as you buried your face into argyles chest.. taking a deep breath as you sighed. “you okay man?” argyles voice softly said as he glanced at you, resting his hand on your lower back and you felt your body just tingling with desperation.

“m’fine..” you quietly said, glancing up at him before away.. his cute high face driving you insane. as you looked at the tv, trying to ignore the feeling.. soon you’d probably forget about it right? you just hoped, as you stayed cuddled up with argyle.

the way your clothed cunt slightly pressed against his thigh drove you insane, as you couldn’t help but slightly grind against his thigh.. surely he wouldn’t notice, plus you were barely doing anything.

so why would he notice you doing it? yeah well poor argyle, definitely noticed. just looking down at you.. noticing the way your hips were moving up and down, and the movement against his thigh?

hell he couldn’t believe it, staring down at you with blown pupils as he swallowed hard.. he didn’t know if he should say anything or- just.. let you continue. you seemed to be enjoying it, and he didn’t wanna ruin the pleasure you were feeling. and the soft sounds that left your mouth, drove him insane.

you sounded so pretty, he gulped. his face flushing slightly as he kept his hand on your lower back, softly hugging out a little breath. “does that feel good?” he muttered, as your head turned to look at him.. and christ your expression, was something permanently stuck in his mind.

the way your mouth was slightly open, and the blush on your cheeks.. the way you seemed so out of your mind. as you slightly nodded, grinding your cunt down against his thigh more. a whine leaving your parted lips, as he shuddered.. having a little smile on his face.

his hands traveling down to your hips, as he pressed a kiss to your lips.. letting you show how desperate you were. kissing him all needy as he moved his hand up to softly hold your face, as he fixed your hair.

“is this okay?” he softly said, making sure it was alright with you.. as you nodded. “please.” you weakly let out, sitting up as his hand went straight to your hips again.. letting you grind on his thigh.

“jesus.. look at you dude. so pretty.” he muttered, staring up at you with just the sweetest eyes ever.

you looked so pretty like this, desperate for him. christ he had hearts in his eyes, just admiring you like you were a beautiful painting. you grinded your cunt down on his thigh slowly.. before slowly grinding down your cunt more faster, humping his thigh like a dog in heat basically.

“good girl.. does that feel good?” he moved his hands down to your thighs, softly gripping them as he softly moaned. his dick straining in his pants, he didn’t care about that.. all he cared about was pleasuring you, and having you cum.

“uh huh..” you whined, your hands on his stomach slightly as your eyes fluttered.. the rough feeling of his jeans against your clothed cunt drove you feral. your mouth open slightly, letting sweet sounds slip from your lips.

“sound so pretty.. my pretty girl, fuck i love you so much.” he whined, as you felt a wave of heat run through your body at his whine.. your cunt clenching around nothing.

“i love you baby..” you muttered, looking down at him slightly as you felt your face heat up more. he looked so handsome, it drove you wild that you knew this man was yours.

your heart raced as you grinded your cunt down more, your breathing getting more faster as you squeezed your eyes closed. you hated how fast you were getting close, but god damn it felt so good.

“i’m- getting close..” you whimpered, as argyle felt his mouth water at your words. “yeah? good girl.. such a good girl. cum for me please..”

he shuddered, his dick aching as he reached his hand down to palm at his crotch a couple times before moving his hands back to your hips.

softly squeezing your hips as you moaned, clenching his shirt slightly as your mouth fell open in a silence moan.. moving your hips more faster before letting the pleasure crash down onto you.

a whiny moan leaving your mouth as argyle stared up at you like he never seen anything more beautiful, groaning as he bit down on his tongue.. a weird feeling of pleasure rushing through him as he sighed, looking up at you then down at his crotch.. blushing brightly as he noticed he came in his pants.

just from watching you get yourself off on his thigh, as you looked down at him before hugging out a little breath and laying down with him.. your faces both painted a red colour, as he wrapped his arms around you.

“did so good for me.. i love you man.” he smiled, looking down at you before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “i love you too baby..”

#stranger things #smut #stranger things smut #requests are open #argyle smut #stranger things master list #stranger things argyle #argyle stranger things #argyle x you #argyle #my sweet boy

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lemonine · 2 days ago

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might delete this post later but its 3am and i keep overthinking this so im just gonna ramble here about the seasonally appropriate topic of family members saying shitty things

so we were watching tv and there was this show on by this tv person who happens to be intersex. and my mom made this comment using their deadname so i was like. no mom theyre called [name]. theyve been called that for a few years now.

so my mom goes "but isnt her name just [deadname]?"

no mom. also its they not she. they use neutral pronouns.

and then she starts complaining because thats too hard and theyre all going a bit far with the pronoun business and then my sister chimes in to say hen/hun isnt grammatically correct

and then i get mad! and i tell them to say it right because even if its a person on tv, you should still be respectful and use the right name and right pronouns. my mom wouldnt like it if i suddenly started calling her by her full name right? or if i used 'he' to refer to her right? youre supposed to try to be nice. and at least Try to get it right.

but now im suddenly the LGBTQIA police and being too difficult and now were arguing and she keeps claiming "No i dont have anything against trans people! you can still bring your trans friends home with you because theres no way i would say anything bad about them!" (ignoring that time my friend came to pick me up and they were like Haha shes definitely a girl because she cant park)

and at this point i get upset and i know im not acting very nice or kind anymore but i just. Dont understand. why people always act like its Too Hard. no. fuck that. skill issue. just do it, even if you mess up sometimes. just Try.

and like. when im at a family birthday and my uncles start to complain about woke or something. i just go hide out in the kitchen for a while until that conversation is over. and i roll my eyes but im not gonna argue with em bc i know i wont win and i only see em like once a year anyway so im like. whatever.

but with my mom... i spend every day with her... and its always such a disappointment... she says its just her opinion and i should respect opinions but i dont feel like "im not gonna treat people with respect" is an opinion thats good or valid. its just mean. and then i try to rationalize it by going okay but theres a generation gap and shes just old but that doesnt make me feel any better. bc even a 5 year old can understand that you have to be nice to people and call them by their right names

idk man its not the first time this kind of stuff happens but it always makes me so sad. and mad. and then i turn into the most crabby person on planet earth so my arguments dont even sound valid anymore bc i cant phrase them in a nice way.

anyway uhhhh sorry about all that. if anyone knows how to deal with this id like to hear your thoughts but otherwise id like to send my hugs to all the people that have to deal with family saying dumb shit at thanksgiving/christmas dinners. stay strong pals

#tw transphobia #intersexphobia really #sorry its a bit of a ramble but i cant sleep

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gra93fruit-blog · 1 month ago

Text

Introductions Pt. 2

You continue your introductions to the stuck Dark Angel.

Warnings: drug use, Some one being stuck in a pit caused by shoddy construction.

Summary: You try to help the Dark Angel that seems to be stuck in the pit.

You took another drag, it was a big one. The cheery red glow of the joint flared, and then spent an embarrassingly long time, coughing your lungs up. Joints were always a crap shoot. The two red lenses you could see from the pit kept locked on you. Whoever, or whatever, was down there, called out again, id unnerving deep voice sound more like gravel then words. It made you feel a bit floaty. Then you started again.

“ Okay, okay, I’m good. Let's try to get a better look at what going on.” You manage to gasp as you fight to get your coughing under control. Slow clumsy hands searched through your inner pockets for your cell phone and then got the flashlight going. You edged to the side and a little forward to get a better angle and then shone the light down into the pit. There was a light feel-good atmosphere that beckoned you towards the edge, but you very carefully kept back. The last thing you needed was the two of you stuck in the pit.

It was definitely taller than you had expected it to be, the pit was also deeper. Looking down you noticed that the bottom of the pit seemed to be the concrete foundations and mechanical greebily bits, that presumably made something work, you also noticed that the dark green metal boots had broken though the concrete below him, which explained why the dude was so much lower than you expected him to be.

You have a better look at the… Marine? It had to be one, you had never seen one in person before, but this was not one of the blue ones with gold trim that you saw on TV. it had to be a marine though, nothing else that you could think of really had that refrigerator shape. He was a dark forest green, and he looked like the embodiment of the phrase ‘visual noise’. The light of the flashlight shone off of chains, small bits of paper with red seals, and some almost monk-like robes. Watching the armour lean back in an attempt to look up was almost adorable. Your high mind could not help but think of a medieval beetle. Smirking a little you started looking around, it looked like his boots had only cracked through to the calves, and given the way he shuffled a little he had some movement.

“I don’t suppose you can move your feet can you?” You asked it rhetorically, the Marine seemed to whine a bit before grumbling some sort of comment of his own. You resorted to charades, pointing to his feet and then lifting your feet up exaggeratedly before flashing a thumbs up with a smile or a thumbs down with an exaggerated frown.

Obligingly he flashed the world’s most awkward thumbs up, seemingly confused at the motion before lifting up one foot as demonstration. As soon as he placed it on top of the cheap prefabricated concrete, the concrete started to crack under his foot, and then it broke through again, with a nasty sounding crunch.

“Okay, bub. You just hang tight there I guess, not much we can do just the two of us.” You looked down at your cell again, no service, of course. “We’ll have to figure something out.” Which was unfortunate for him because you were definitely more than a little high and a quick gaze around confirmed that no one else was around to be the responsible one.

“Just a second.” You tell the Marine, signing for them to wait, in the forlorn hope that they possibly know ASL, given the grumbling in ever increasing volume you assumed they did not. Your book clad feet crisply walked towards Russ’s house. It was where you were going anyway and where you knew people would be gathering. Kristy would be there, and Kristy was organized and responsible enough to deal with this. You had just made it to the road when you heard what sounded like a chainsaw kick up and the pop and snap of buckling concrete behind you.

Do you turn around to check in on the Marine, or do you continue to Russ’s house to get help?

Part 3

#cw drug use #some one being stuck in a pit #dark angels #reader insert #choose your own adventure via vote #warhammer 40000 #creative exercise #oops I actually had to work today so it is poorly edited #I will edit it at the end of the day.

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hannahssimblr · 10 months ago

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There’s an argument at the nightclub door tonight. Actually, there is an argument at the nightclub door every time I show up here without fail, because I do not possess ID.

“Of course I don’t have ID,” I explain to the bouncer, the same guy that’s here week after week yet refuses to admit that he remembers me, “C’mon, we both know how it’s going to be, we can do this silly little dance for two to three minutes and you’re going to let me in.”

“You’re too drunk.”

He’s right. “Look,” I sigh, “I’m here with girls, nice girls. Lovely girls and they’d like to come in too, wouldn’t you like for them to come in?” I cup the chin of Alison next to me, who theatrically bats her eyelashes and juts out her bottom lip, “Please,” she says, “we’re all so lovely and nice.”

The bouncer shuffles from one foot to the other, checking over his shoulder, and I know we’ve won. These men have a problem with underage boys coming into their clubs, but girls? The more girls the better. It doesn’t matter if they’re seventeen.

“Go in,” He says through clenched teeth, “and no hassle from you tonight, you hear me?”

“What?” I say loudly as we pass, “Sorry, couldn’t hear you. Anyway, bye.”

The club is vibrating, strobe lights flash and music pumps so loudly that I can’t hear what anyone is saying. I think Alison is talking to me, at least her mouth is moving, so I lean in closer and bellow into her ear, “What?”

“I was singing,” she screams back, “I just like this song!”

Everyone around us is shrieking at one another too, either that or swaying exotically against each other on the dancefloor, college aged girls all wearing the same shoes, men in the same shirts. In one fleeting, sober moment I look around me, at the clouds of dry ice, feel the floor sticking to my shoes and wish I was hanging out with Jen and watching TV instead. The moment ends abruptly as soon as Fitzy from rugby throws himself onto my back and starts chanting “shots, shots, shots!”

“Yeah, okay shots,” I say, attempting enthusiasm, “fuck it. Anything but tequila.”

As per my request we avoid tequila and we do some sort of hideous rainbow shot instead. I think that we are supposed to be impressed by the way the bartender pours it out, ten shot glasses in a line, each one of them a different colour, poured from the same nozzle. “You shouldn’t have bothered with that whole thing, they’ll all be down us in one second,” I tell him, but he doesn’t hear me.

We dance for a while, or at least we try to as a dozen secondary school kids without a shred of poise or grace to share between us, and mostly we just leap around the place and do stupid moves so that we cannot be accused of earnestly trying, and open ourselves up to the risk of real humiliation.

When Fitzy spots some girl he likes the look of, I try to force him to go and talk to her, but we won’t. He says he needs more shots for that, which is probably true because he’s a bit awkward, so I reckon Fitzy needs a few shots to get most things done. Maybe it’s a sign that one day he’ll be an alcoholic, but I try not to think about things like that when I’m jumping around on a crowded dance floor, it’s neither the time nor place for existential dread.

“Puh puh puh poker face puh puh pokerface” Alison sings as she dances around me, “Can't read my, can't read my no he can't read-uh my poker face....”

Alison knows the lyrics to everything. Even songs that I’m only just hearing for the first time, and I don't know how. Either she listens to this kind of thing in her spare time or she just has an amazing memory. It’s an interesting and charming detail about her. She's a good dancer too, even when she's just being silly, and I've often noticed the way that other girls copy her moves, looking to her for choreography whenever she's on the dance floor.

“Oh, ohh oh oh, ohhh oh,” She vocalises, “I’ll get him hot, show him what I got…”

I smile at her, “What’ve you got, Alison?”

Her hand curls around my neck as she pulls my ear to her mouth, “MDMA, if you want it.”

“Ha! Where’d you get that?”

“Someone at school.”

“Yeah? What else do you have?”

She laughs, “Do you think I’m a pharmacy? C’mere,” She takes my hand and leads up away from the dancefloor, up a set of carpeted stairs and to a quieter landing near where the toilets are. We sit on a fancy little couch that is coated in years of filth while she digs through her little handbag.

“Look, I’ll tell you the entire contents, a few pills, I’ve a little weed, three pretty squashed cigarettes, um, oh, a small bit of bag.”

“Oh, bag. I’ll take the bag.”

“Expensive taste, yeah?” She chuckles, “And you know, the idea of you on cocaine is like some kind of nightmare to me.”

“Why’s that?”

“You don’t need it babe, you’re already annoying enough.”

I gasp, “You’re awful, how can you say that?” but quickly give up acting offended and peer into the depths of her little quilted purse. My mother once told me to never, under any circumstances, go through a woman’s handbag but I honestly don’t think that rules like that apply to me.

I discover the saddest looking bag of cocaine I’ve ever seen and change my mind. “Fine, I’ll take the MDMA, but only because you insist.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I'll do it if you do it.”

“I know it's not your favourite...”

“Nah, no, come on, nobody should do pills on their own, that breaks my heart,” I hold out my hands like I’m receiving holy bread, and she tips one out of the little bag for me.

“Hey,” I rest my neck against the back of the couch, “We could do it the way those old ladies do at mass, yeah? Put it right on my tongue.”

Alison snickers, “I thought you were protestant. Have you even been to a mass?”

“No but please, I know how it goes,” I stick out my tongue while she delicately places a pill onto it. It starts dissolving straight away, the bitter chemical taste makes me wince and I wonder, just like I do every time I do this, whether it’s really worth it. They make these pills look so tasty with their bright colours and funny little imprints, but they're not exactly flavourtown.

“Are you single at the moment?” Alison wants to know, and I nod, grimacing as it goes down, “Yeah, why?”

“I knew it, you know why? Because you act like an unstable person when you are. You seem unwell at the moment.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah, though it’s fine.”

I look into her eyes, the blue of the sky before rain, and allow my pathetic feelings trickle in for a second. Sometimes I feel as though there is some crucial, working piece of me that’s been plucked out, leaving all of the other parts churning aimlessly like a clock with a missing cog, hands twitching desperately, uselessly, unable to move forward. I don’t think I like to be alone, in any sense. I think I need other people to feel complete, and I don’t know why that is.

I brush my fingers lightly along the side of Alison’s thigh, “And you?” I say softly, “are you single?”

“Yes, Jude.”

“Will you kiss me, then?”

Alison, when she kisses me, feels holy. She’s like a shrine whose feet I weep at, begging for healing. She and I, this is how we are, this is the cycle we repeat, when I’m lonely, when she’s lonely and we find ourselves in purgatory. She doesn’t want more from me than this, than this shallow kissing, masquerading as something with depth, and sex, sometimes, when we can find a place to have it. I shouldn’t want more either. I don’t think I really do, not if I’m honest with myself, but sometimes I want to ask her why not. Maybe she’s confusing on purpose. Maybe she just likes to punish men. I think that it’d be fair enough if she did. We as a collective have mostly been cruel to her.

“Are you going to bring me home?” She murmurs, and I tuck her wavy red hair behind her ears, “Not as long as I share a wall with my eight year old sister.”

“Oh, not ideal. Where can we go?”

“I think all of our options are outside.”

“Fuck sake, and it’s freezing. Why aren’t you ever around in the summer?”

“Sorry, but look, I’m going to start learning to drive soon. Once I have a car I’ll have a decent place to take you.”

She laughs, “A car?”

“Yeah,” I clutch our hands together and hold them to my heart. It’s thumping now that I am coming up, “Alison, when I get a car, I’ll ride you in the passenger seat any day of the week.”

“Jesus Christ,” she groans, and buries her face in my neck, “That’s the most romantic thing a guy has said to me in ages. How depressing is that?”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2009 #tbh I know she's not Evie #but I love Alison #she's great #tw: alcohol #tw: drugs #tw: sex mention #tw: religion #tw: blasphemy

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