#i... liked it better w/o the words but here we are lol

[spotlightstudios]

Hi guys, I'm insane again

(This was originally a full two-page piece of Blasty and Linden, but I had to scrap it for a different 2-page piece using the other side, so I had to improvise 🙏)

[pyramid-of-starrs]

Drunk intimacy W/ Ateez

This is what I imagine drunk "encounters" with each member would be like, just to clarify I mean drunk and consenting not sloppy wasted, so more so tipsy lol Enjoy.

Warning: Drunk sex, Oral sex (M and F recieving), semi public fingering, cockwarming, may be other stuff lemme know!

Minors dni

Hongjoong:

You and Hongjoong would be leaving the bar from a night of hanging out and drinking with everyone, you both would get in the car and drive to a secluded spot and he would park and you both would push your seats back as far as they could go, then Hongjoong would lift the armrest. No words would be spoken, they didn't have to be said, you would both look at each other and without a word start a very intimate and sloppy make out session. You're all over him like he likes it because when you both have some liquor in your system you joke that he becomes your little slut lol. Teeth scraping, tongues in and out of each other’s mouths, eyes rolled back and lots of lip sucking and biting, the noises alone from the kissing would be considered pornographic. Hongjoong has his hand firmly planted on your ass after he lifted your skin tight dress up to your waist, one of your hands made it inside his baggy pants after you undid his belt, you started to jack him off right there in the front seat. Hongjoong was trying his best to continue kissing you but your grip on his very sensitive dick was making him dizzy, he would stop the kiss to occasionally let out a whimper or a "fuck". His red and flushed face with how needy and fucked out he look was making you crazy, you loved how submissive and horny he got, you decided it was time to make him feel even better. You and him worked together to shimmy his pants down enough for his red and throbbing cock to spring out, you loved teasing and edging him when he was like this, you reached down still pumping his shaft, you stuck your tongue out to make circles on his tip.

"Fuuuck Y/N" Hongjoong said dropping his head onto the headrest, his hand still gripping your ass.

You kissed his tip a few times, "I know it feels so good doesn't it baby?" you said wanting to tease him, your mouth dove down his shaft, bobbing your head up and down, Hongjoong bit his bottom lip as he hissed, his whimpering of pleasure was music to your ears.

"So fuckin' good baby, 'o good." He managed to say between his moaning, your tongue and mouth never stopped, sucking harder while your saliva traveled down his dick and covering his balls, it was a bit sloppy, but he loved it. His hand occasionally leaving your ass to land smacks on it to tell you you were doing a good job.

"Baby, baby I'm g-gonna cum." He stuttered out.

You started to suck him off faster, making sure to make his dick hit the back of your throat, you held him deep in your mouth while his cum shot into your mouth, loud profanities dropped from his lips while he moaned loudly, fuck you loved when he was vocal. You didn't waste a drop and swallowed his entire load making sure to look into his eyes.

"Fuck baby I love you so much." Hongjoong said, you came up not even being able to wipe your mouth before Hongjoong pressed his lips to yours, sloppy kisses being exchanged once again.

"I'm going to fuck your brains out when we get home." He said smiling on your lips and looking into your eyes

You pecked his lips again and looked back at him. "I told you you couldn't handle that last shot."

Seonghwa:

"H-ey we aren't go-gonna make it s-sorry." You said barely being able to get out your sentence while you were on the phone with your friend canceling your group couples hangout.

"Aww whyyy? Hongjoong is going to be pissed he isn't going to have his uno partner Seonghwa here." Hongjoongs girlfriend said over the phone.

"I knoo~ we pregramed tooo~ hard and Hwa is out of it." you said immediately snatching the phone from your ear and putting it on speaker to finish the conversation. Hongjoongs girlfriend went on about all the things they had planned tonight but you couldn't focus anymore. Seonghwa was the reason for that, he had his back against the arm of the couch and his long legs across the couch with you on top of him, your back against his chest, he had both your breast pulled out of your tube top with one of his hands tweaking your nipples. His other hand was busy slowly playing with your clit, he knows you want him to go faster, he knows it you wanted nothing more but for him to fuck you but he told you it wasn't a good idea to have those drinks before going out, he told you it would just make you both horny but you didn't care. You thought you could just tease Seonghwa all night for being drunk and horny, but he wasn't letting that happen. He left trails of wet kisses and licks from his long tongue on your neck while you tried fighting off your moans, only letting breathy small ones escape.

"Anyways Y/N girl these guys are driving me crazy I would have loved for you to be here to! You sure you can't at least come?" She said obviously pouting. Seonghwa drug his tongue up to your ear.

"Mm gonna leave me baby? Gonna leave me after making me all hot and bothered?" he said rubbing your clit faster.

"Ooouuu FUCK- oh my g- fuck no, I'm sorry girl I can't he's already making a mess right now." You said still trying to keep a clear mind, you had to bite both your lips.

" 'sure am, making a mess of this wet little pussy." He said in your ear, he put one of his slick covered fingers into your cunt, you gripped his pant leg and threw your head back while you whined between your closed lips. You needed and wanted more but he wanted to edge and tease you, he would leave open mouth kisses on your cheek until he made his way to your mouth to give you a wet french kiss, you could taste the juice and alcohol on his tongue, sweet and bitter citrus, he took the breath out of your lungs, your ears ringing from pleasure, no longer able to even hear your conversation, he removed his hand from your chest and gripped your face so you two could look at each other.

"Hang up and bend over."

Yunho:

One too many bottles of Soju and all Yunho wants to do is eat you out. You both were just casually drinking and one think led to another and next thing you know your shorts and panties were off, you were sitting in the cute recliner you bought for the bed room, your legs were being pinned up but Yunhos large hands and he was face planted in your cunt. It had been an hour or so, at least you assume it has, you were drunk and on the way to your 3rd orgasm, Yunho just wouldn't let up. He just loved the feeling of eating you out, but it was something so satisfying to do it while you both had some drinks. He loved your dramatic gasping and jolts, the way your pussy got wetter and how hard you would grip his hair while you begged and spasmed. He couldn't only use his tongue, no he had to put his entire face in it, he wasn't a man that was afraid to get his face covered in the line of duty, he wanted you to drench him. He loved to sweet taste of your cunt as well, since you were drunk you were more sensitive, and it was easy to make you really wet. He would occasionally glance up at you to see your eyes rolled back and your mouth wide open, hearing you yell his name or say things like "fuck Yunho, I can't take it." just encouraged him to fuck you with his mouth more. He knew to make you extra crazy he would put on of your legs on the arm of the chair or let you hold it up while he fucked two of his long finger into you while he sucked your clit like a lollipop. You would gasp for him to stop while your thighs would try to close and you try pushing his head away but he's stronger than you, he wouldn't let you run, you had to sit there and fucking take it. You would covered his face in your slick once again, you were out of breath and fucked out, he would get up and go to the bathroom to wash his face and come back with the warmest smile.

"Well now that I've ate you wanna order some food?"

Yeosang:

Everyone was at Hongjoong, Jongho and Wooyoungs apartment, drinking eating, playing games and now singing drunk karaoke, everyone was either passed out or singing. You and Yeo on the other hand, well you two were sitting at the table watching everyone while he plunged his two fingers deep into your wet pussy, it was something about all the liquor in your system that made you want your boyfriend more and more. He originally was sitting at the table alone but as the night progressed and you got drunker you started to watch his arms flexing in his in short sleeve and it was something so sexy about how well he could handle his liquor. You got up to sit next to him nuzzling nice and close, then the closer you would get the more you smelled his cologne and watching his face and just the sight of him was enough to make your leg bounce to create some kind of friction to help soothe the burning between your legs, you hug his arm while you tried to calm yourself but breathy noises escaped your lips.

"You okay Y/N?" he would ask

"Need you...so bad Yeo." would be the only thing you could say, he understood what needed to be done, when you're this needy you needed immediate attention, so he got to work.

Now here you were with his fingers nice and deep in you, he would make the "Come here" motion so he could hit your spot occasionally, he didn't want you to get to loud but luckily the music and over all commotion drowned out your whimpering. It was a horrible time to do this but the thought of everyone seeing you so fucked out and needy for him kind of turned him on, so he has no problem helping his baby out. Though he himself isn't a lightweight when it came to drinking since he mastered the skill of not acting drunk while drunk, he couldn't deny that drinking did make him a bit hornier, especially after losing all those games and having to take straight shots with no chaser. You squeezed his arm tighter, closed your eyes and bit your lip, all signs that you were close to your high, Yeosang sped up his pace, it was dangerous since the table shook but honestly, he only cared about making you cum for him. You saw stars as you finished on his two digits, he pulled them from your jeans and into his mouth so he could taste your slick, you dropped your head on his shoulders and rolled your eyes back while the group called you and Yeosang up to pick the next song.

San:

Poor Sannie just can't handle his liquor, you two get home from hanging out and San would just strip naked and get under the covers then whine until you finally came in the bed room to shut the lights off and get in bed with him.

"Mmm baby, too hot, no clothes." San groaned while tugging at your clothes, you rolled your eyes and took off your pajamas to accommodate San. He cuddled you closely, nuzzling his face into your neck and squeezing your waist, though you wanted to go to sleep you couldn't help but feel something on your ass.

"Sannie... are you?"

"Just ignore it baby." he said, but with Sans length how could you possibly ignore something like that pressing into you.

"Do you want to have sex baby?" You asked, it's not like you could sleep, it felt like you were laying on water since you were still pretty tipsy.

"Don't feel like it." He mumbled out.

"Wanna cockwarm then?" you asked, trying to help him relieve his throbbing dick.

"...only if you don't mind." He said, he didn't want you to feel pressured, you nodded your head to give him the approval, he lined himself up with your entrance and was able to easily slide in since you were still wet from when he pulled you to the bathroom to fuck you while you were out. "Fuck baby you're so tight you feel so good." he said squeezing you tighter, he couldn't help but roll his hips a few times just to enjoy your heat.

"Does that feel better Sannie, you just wanted me to hold your dick baby." you said reaching back to scratch his scalp.

"You're too good to me baby." He said, he kissed your lips a few times then snuggled back into you, you two eventually drifted off to sleep just for him to wake up early that morning to fuck you senseless.

Mingi:

He decided to come home to your apartment instead of going home because he didn't want anyone seeing how affectionate he is when he is drunk, just a big cuddly baby. He would hold you while you're unlocking the door and kiss you when you're changing then when he can't take it anymore, he would pull you into his lap while he is seated on the bed. He wouldn't even change your clothes he would just pull your sleeping shorts to the side and take out his length while you two were kissing and ease you down his dick. Drunk sex with Mingi is nice and slow and sensual, it's not about cumming it's about feeling you wrapped around him, it's about him touching every inch of your body with his hands and lips, Mingi is a drunk love maker. You would rock slowly on his length while cupping his face and continuing to make out, his large hands wrapped around your waist squeezing you tightly so you couldn't move or run.

"I love you so much baby." he would whisper between kisses.

"I love you more Mingi." you would say back, giving him reassurance that you feel loved, and you love him just as much, he is a Leo, so he needs it.

His phone would ring, calls from the guys to make sure you two made it home safely, every time you advised him to answer he would say "You're the only person I care about right now." While he continued to roll his hips deeper into you.

After a while of slow sex, you were about to cum, and he notices that, he rubbed your back and kissed you deeply while you cover his cock in your juices. He knows you get sleepy so he stops and cleans you both up then puts you both to bed, you would tell him to keep going so he could cum to but again he wasn't doing it for a release he just wants to feel you.

Wooyoung:

As soon as you walk through the door together he is trying to bend you over and fuck your brains out, you were in the middle of taking your shoes off (literally one is off one is on) and he is pressing you against the wall lifting up your skirt while kissing your neck.

"Wait Woo we should mm" he cuts you off by kissing you, you wouldn't even be able to talk in complete sentences. "We should-" kiss "at least go t-" kiss "to the be-" kiss "the bed Woo let's" kiss.

"I need to fuck you right now, right here, this has been on my mind all night." would be the last thing he says before he gets on one knee to eat you out from the back, your hand reaching back to grip his black hair while your eyes roll back and your mouth is gasping.

"Oh, my fucking god it feels amazing Woo fuck!" When you and Wooyoung get drunk the dirty talk is amazing, it's truly part of the experience.

"Such a dirty little mouth for a dirty little slut, watch your fucking mouth." He says before striking your ass.

"Ow! Fuck you!" you say before he strikes you again then rises from eating you out.

"Oh, fuck me ?" He says while yanking you to face him and pressing you against the wall.

"Yes, fuck you!" you argue back while he pulls your skirt down and lifts your leg to hold it at his waist, his member already pulled out since he was jerking off while eating you out.

"Oh really?" he got closer to your face, your lips seconds from connecting.

"Yes really."

"Say it again." He says as he sinks himself into your pussy, you bit your lips while your head drops back on the wall.

"Nghh fuck!" You say, he starts to fuck you faster, pulling your leg so he can hit nice and deep in you.

"That's not what you said, say what you said again baby." Wooyoung would say to taunt you, he knew you were too fucked out to even think, liquor makes him a horny little meanie. He would sit there and fuck you in the doorway then when he finished he would have you suck his dick in the hall way to "Clean up the mess you made on his cock", then he would fuck you again on the bed to "make sure you dream of him."

Jongho:

He is like a well-oiled machine, both just came back from a company dinner and all he wants to do is keep fucking you and fucking you and fucking you. His hips never stop pounding into you and when you would slump over he would laugh at you with that toothy smile and say "Aww are you really tired already, did I go too far?" he tried to make it seem like he was being genuine and checking on you but you knew he wasn't, he was mocking you and you were a prideful drunk so you two would be going until one of you tapped out.

He would drill you from the back in collapsed doggy because your legs just couldn't hold you anymore, the loud clapping noises filling the room while his hands tightly gripped your hips so you couldn't run, you had to take his thrust full on. You could barely even think anymore, your swollen pussy and fucked out brain was no match for Jongho. Usually, his libido isn't that high, and sex was good but after cumming twice he would be tapped but when he is drunk all bets are off, he has the stamina of a race horse and fucked like one too. He would love just watching you try your best to keep up with him, he got a good laugh out of how surprised you would get every time. He knew your body would be tired so he used his strength to flip, bend and twist you in any way he wanted, you became his little fuck toy and you'd be lying if you said it wasn't the sexiest thing in the world, though he would be demolishing your pussy he always checked on you and made sure you drank water throughout the process, you're favorite part was the praise he gives you for not tapping out.

"My good little baby, taking me so well, aren't you?" he would ask, your invisible dog tail would wag while you arched your back to take more of him. Though you wouldn't tap out he knew not to push you too much and you eventually clean you both up and cuddle into bed while you talked shit.

"See I told you you would tap first!" you would taunt.

"Mhm you sure did, I can't keep up with you Y/N" he would patronize you.

"Nope! Now to enjoy my victory cuddles and sleep."

He cuddles into you and kisses your forehead. "Good night, Y/N"

[starcrossedxwriter]

Built for Love Part 13 (MBJ x Famous Black OC)

A/N: you know the saying "it's gotta get worse before it gets better??" Well, that's true lol But enjoy the ride!

***

“You keep actin’ like it’s not a big deal! Like we can just wake up and get over it.” 

“I never said that!” Charlotte called over him, attempting to drown out his blatantly false words. as she angrily folded her arms. She flopped back into the soft cushions of Dr. Matthews’ couch, angrily folding her arms. “But I’m sick of him acting like I’m the problem for focusing on OUR future? Shaun is the past. We’re supposed to be planning a wedding? You proposed to me! Why is it wrong for me to focus on that and not the past??” 

“Well, I don’t know if that’s what Michael mea-” 

Michael did not even allow their therapist to finish her thought before he jumped back in, his anger rising.   

“I didn’t travel back in time and stumble into a bathroom to find him hurting you, Charlotte! It’s what? Almost the end of April so this happened six weeks ago?? He is very much our present and potentially part of the future. How can I just pretend that ain’t the case? He will be a threat to you until he’s in prison. And I’m not interested in being caught off guard again when he shows up for round two. And you know I’m right!” 

“I don’t know that actually!” 

“Sure. Lie to your family, Dr. Matthews, and yourself all you want but I see you, Charlotte. You haven’t moved on either. You’re just trying to ignore it so you don’t have to deal with it. So you don’t have to talk to me about it. Better to pretend this is somehow a normal everyday experience rather than just admit that it’s fucked up. You can say you’re fine all you want but I ain’t gotta pretend I believe it when I don’t.” 

“Oh right cause you’re the resident expert on being stalked and almost murdered? Remind me when that happened to you too??” she snapped sarcastically. “Exactly! So why do you think your opinion of my progress somehow matters more than the only person in this room with actual experience surviving this and him. You’ve got no idea what it’s like. I’ve been here. I’ve survived this and worse. So maybe I am actually fine because I know exactly what this feels like. You can’t hold it against me that I’m not a broken thing that needs you to swoop in and fix her!” 

“I don’t need to know what that’s like because I know you! And I’m not trying to fix you. Cause I don’t think acknowledging your pain means you’re broken. I do know that the last time you swore to me you were fine, he showed up at your rehearsal and then he bruised your ribs. And I knew, I fuckin’ knew, something was up before I left and I went anyway because you swore you were fine. Call me controlling o-or overprotective or annoying or whatever but at least you’ll be alive to be mad at me. Cause I sure as hell am not gonna make the same mistake ever again. You want me to chill out? Then start bein’ honest with me when shit isn’t fine and maybe I’ll start believing you when you say it is.”

“You act as if I just lie all the time?? In our entire relationship, I’ve kept one secret from you, made one more mistake! If you can’t forgive me for it, why are we even here??” 

“Maybe I could if it was just one mistake. I love you with my entire soul, fuck you’re my everything. But for whatever reason, your go-to is to keep shit like this from me. He showed up at your rehearsal and you said nothing. Had nightmares that were so bad, you got sick and you told me everything was just fine. He hit you and threatened you and you still lied to me when I asked you what was going on. Same thing with your arm the night of the premiere. Do you wanna tell Dr. Matthews how you got that brace on your wrist and how you tried to hide it from me or should I?” 

“This again!” Charlotte threw her free hand in the air as the one wrapped in a black brace stayed in her lap. “It’s a sprain and it was an accident. I didn’t tell you because of this - I knew you’d overreact and we’d be back where we were in March! And I was right. One accident and you acted like I was gonna fall apart. I wanted to celebrate, have fun and you overreacted and just wanted me to be sad all night. So much so that you couldn’t even see what I needed!” 

“Overreact?? Wow. How am I supposed to react to finding out I hurt you??” 

“YOU didn’t hurt me! I got hurt, there’s a difference. And the only person who was bothered was you. You know how many times I’ve been hurt? Concussions, bruised and broken ribs, carpet burns, regular burns, broken bones, cuts, hell, I bruised a kidney once. I’m a fuckin’ walking Grey’s Anatomy episode. I don’t need to send you a press statement everytime I’m hurt.”  

“You know that’s not what I want! But you could at least tell me so I can help. Otherwise, what use am I to you?” 

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Dr. Matthews interrupted the pair. “Enough. Both of you!” 

The couple had dissolved into a loud and biting vocal hurricane within five minutes of stepping into her Lower Manhattan office. Neither of them came ready for productive conversation but to unleash their frustrations onto a third party in hopes that she would convince the other that their side was the right one. 

“You just spent 10 minutes arguing and I doubt either of you even heard a single thing the other person said. Getting louder doesn’t ensure your point is heard, it just makes you loud. So let’s take a deep breath so we can actually have a conversation.” 

Charlotte took a few deep breaths before glancing at her fiance, guilt immediately surging as he jiggled his knee, a clear sign that he was upset. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her hand rubbing her forehead. “We d-don’t speak to each other like that. I’m just…” She glanced away from him as her voice trailed off. She did not know what she was but she knew nothing was as ok as she wanted it to be. As she wanted them to be. “Frustrated.” 

“I know…” he acknowledged, letting out his own deep breath to release some of his anger. “I’m sorry too.” 

“Ok good. I wondered when we’d finally get here. It took one session for me to see this argument brewing but I honestly thought you two would never get here. So amenable to other, willing to make surface-level changes that don’t address the root cause of your problems but unwilling to be vulnerable and say the hard things that would actually help you move forward. But like a lot of things, sometimes we have to take a couple steps back to reevaluate and move forward. So tell me what happened since our last session to get us here?” 

Dr. Matthews’ calming voice was a sharp juxtaposition to the red hot anger they both entered her office ready to unleash. She was not wrong, this argument was simmering since Charlotte got home from the hospital and had boiled over without warning. Charlotte had thought they were making small inroads to being back to normal but Dr. Matthews now challenged everything Charlotte believed about their progress. She was so frustrated at Michael for setting them back but maybe she had just put too much hope that their problems were an easy fix and wouldn’t require the thing she dreaded most: vulnerability. But the last 48 hours felt like God saying that neither of them could sustain that much longer. 

Charlotte sighed and glanced at Michael, his own shame wafting off of him.

“It really wasn’t a big deal. The other night…” 

“WRONG! He can’t be dead!” 

“Whatchu mean wrong?? We watched that nigga get stabbed eight times.”

“Yea we also saw dragons and zombies… you’re telling me that in a world of dragons and zombies, a nigga can’t come back to life?? What about Beric???” 

Michael laughed. “Doesn’t mean everybody can do it just cause he did?? And how would he even come back? The entire Night Watch against him, Red Woman’s nowhere to be found. That nigga cooked. Had a good run though,” he remarked as he pulled their dinner out of the oven. 

It was Charlotte’s night off from the show and the couple’s chosen date night. Their therapist had recommended setting aside the time each week to reconnect and focus on them. And Charlotte felt as if it was working, they were slowly but surely becoming them again. Perfect? No. But even their playful fighting over mundane tv plots was a new development. Fuck… just being playful at all was a glorious return to who they once were. Their relationship simply existed day to day with such an overcast of tension, the overbearing weight of life and death, that there was little space or energy to feel anything light. But the excitement of the day had turned tonight’s mood celebratory and fun, exactly what Charlotte needed to feel like herself again. 

“Wow. You have nooo faith. That man’s comin’ back, I know it. Also if you were really killing off a character, is that how you’d write it?? The whole ‘is your favorite character dead?’ season finale cliffhanger almost always ends with the character being alive.” 

“We talking about Thrones, Els! The show that killed off the main character in season 1 and most shows ain’t doing that shit. So I still haven’t heard one real reason he can’t be dead dead aside from the fact that you gotta crush on him.”

Michael loved egging her on when she put on her nerd hat. Mainly because he loved seeing her come alive in this way, as if this part of her had always been suppressed in relationships and her light just glowed when she was able to be her. 

 Charlotte turned and glanced over her shoulder as she made guacamole to accompany their homemade enchiladas. She placed her utensils down before walking over to wear he perched against the counter, too invested in their conversation to multitask. 

“I mean even you have to admit that Jon’s brooding demeanor is sexy??” 

“I’ll never admit that!” 

Charlotte almost doubled over in laughter at the incredulous look on Michael’s face. 

“Reasonable crush or not,” she struggled to say as she reigned in her laughter. “I know I’m right. Mark my words, by the end of episode 1, Jon Snow’ll be alive and kicking. His character arc isn’t over yet.” 

“Wanna place a wager about that, honey bee?” 

Charlotte raised an eyebrow. “Sure… cause I know I’ll win,” she teased. 

“Loser has to give the winner massages, anytime requested, for a month.” 

“Two!” Charlotte interjected. She merely smirked. “What can I say? I’m feeling lucky today for some reason.”

“Oh for some reason? Could it be cause a certain actress, as of today, is now Tony-nominated Charlotte Bennett - soon to be Tony Award winning Charlotte Bennett-Jordan,” he amended with his perfect boyish grin that made her roll her eyes and giggle. 

“Maybe” she challenged with a modest look on her face. “Just… feeling inspired.”

 And the day had been inspired indeed as Charlotte woke up to the highly anticipated nominations announcement. Her first real shot at a lifelong dream, finally realized. When they said her name among the nominees for Lead Actress in a Musical, she felt the world stop on its axis. Everything she thought she had lost was hers again. 

Michael had been ecstatic for her, though not nearly as surprised by the news as she had been. If there was one person he would always bet on, it was his girl. And so they spent the entire day celebrating and Charlotte loved every moment of it. She had missed the version of Michael today brought out. Playful and silly, joking and laughing with her over mundane things, arguing with gusto about controversial storytelling opinions, going on tangents about his upcoming roles and his research. She missed his uninhibitedness, how he was unafraid to pull her into his arms, and be unrestrained. She just missed him. 

“Is that right?” he remarked as he reached for her, Charlotte playfully sliding out of his grasp so he could not catch her. 

Feeling emboldened by their return to some semblance of normalcy, she continued the game, giggling as she continued shifting out of his grasp as he reached for her. His eyes had a mischievous glint to them as he caught onto her game and soon they were in a full chase around the kitchen. 

Laughter filled the living room as they played their game of cat and mouse. By the time they were circling each other around the coffee table in the living room like opponents in the ring, Charlotte knew she was caught. She would have to concede and accept defeat, but she hoped that her capture would lead to a reignition of far more enjoyable games. 

She took off running by their couch, knowing Michael would grab her immediately and likely jokingly toss her onto it. However, as she rounded the corner, her foot caught onto the leg of their table, sending the clumsy actress hurling down to their carpet. She threw her arm out to break her fall, a searing pain shooting through her wrist as she landed on her stomach. 

She groaned as she lost her breath on the impact, immediately curling into a tight ball as the fall reignited a dull pain in her freshly healed ribs. She cradled her wrist against her chest as she tried to fill her lungs with air again.

“Fucking… idiot,” she forced out as breathing started to feel less like an Olympic task. 

“Shit! Baby, baby… Els. Talk to me, you ok??” 

She simply nodded as she used her good arm to lift herself up and turn around. 

“Yea, yea, I’m good. Just… annoyingly… clumsy,” she pushed out a chuckle as Michael helped her shift off the floor and onto the couch cushions. “As God… likes to remind me.”  

“Fuck. I’m so sorry, baby.” Charlotte was almost startled when she finally looked up at him, hovering above her. His eyes frantically searched her body for injury, his face blanched as if he had been startled by a ghost. His phone trembled in his hands as he rushed to unlock it. “Let me call your doctor… or… shit, your concussion just healed… Did you hit your head on anything?? We should get it checked anyway. Maybe I should just call an ambulance?? Gonna call an ambulance. Anywhere else hurt?? Your ribs? It didn’t get the same spot he… Probably wasn’t hard enough to bruise them but we should get it checked too… how’s you-” 

“Hey, hey, whoa. Slow down, baby,” she cradled the left side of his face, forcing him to slow down and go quiet for a moment. She could almost hear his heart hammering against his chest. “Take a deep breath, Bakari. I’m ok. Just a danger to myself and your expensive furniture,” she joked, hoping to calm him with humor, which didn’t work in the slightest. “Thank god I didn’t fall into the table. I know how much all this set you back. No need for doctors or ambulances. I promise. I’m good.” 

She bit down on her inner cheek to avoid the wince as one subtle movement let her know her wrist was, at best, sprained. She kept it limp by her side as Michael helped her to her feet. But the look on Michael’s face made her question whether sharing that now would only make things worse. So she said nothing at all. 

“I shouldn’t have chased after you like that. I should’ve moved faster when I saw you fall.” 

“We were having fun. We’re allowed, you know?” 

“Hurting you ain’t fun, Els. You’re hurt. Where?” 

“I hurt myself, you didn’t do anything. And I just hit the side of the table as I went down, I think. It hurts but will probably feel fine tomorrow. I’m ok, I swear.” 

“You sure?” She could see the disbelief in his eyes but she kept her face upbeat, ignoring the throbbing ache branching out from her wrist. 

“Yes,” she chuckled. “Now, can we go back to enchiladas and margs and debating the narrative choices of Game of Thrones? And celebrating the biggest day of my career? We still gotta pop that very expensive bottle of champagne Chris sent. Please? I’m really ok.” 

Her words convinced him to return to the kitchen where dinner waited. But they could not restore the carefree, celebratory aura they had 5 minutes ago. Instead, only that awful tension remained, leading to an uncomfortable silence that Charlotte could not break. 

Michael’s thoughts were no longer on their date night, but clearly preoccupied. Charlotte could almost see the wheels of guilt spiraling out in his brain. Her mildly funny dad jokes fell on deaf ears, her questions and prompts for conversation were met with silence or one word answers. Occasionally, she felt his eyes on her, studying her for signs of pain or discomfort. But thankfully, he found none and did not notice her first couple awkward bites using her nondominant left hand. 

She had every intention of telling him about her wrist once he calmed down but that moment never came. She tried to fight her way through the rest of the night, the couple even trying to catch up on a tv show together. But their usual vibrant commentary was silent as Charlotte stole worried glances at Michael and he did the same to her. 

She did not even understand how they got here. How he was this upset when the entire incident was her own fault. After all, what clumsy person thinks it’s smart to start a high-speed chase in their living room? She felt as if this was the best outcome she could have hoped for. 

“Michael… babe. You can’t just go silent on me,” she muttered grumpily, her frustration getting the better of her. “What’s wrong?” 

She had been doing as her therapist recommended, practicing understanding and grace as Michael navigated his emotions after everything. But as more time passed, she was simply too ready to move forward and growing frustrated with his lack of interest in doing so. He was stuck, firmly planted, and no amount of tugging on her part felt like it would get him out of it. 

The lack of intimacy in their relationship seeped into all aspects of their lives, including how they slept together. While they knew different rooms were simply too much distance for them, the furthest apart they could go were their separate corners of the bed. Charlotte tossed and turned most nights without her human weighted blanket draped over her. She understood the shift when her ribs were healing but he still held himself back from her, even after the all clear from her doctor. There were no playful touches or cuddling briefly before falling asleep, no more rolling away to cool off and Michael finding his way right back to her. They rolled to their corners after a chaste and subdued goodnight kiss before they both fell into restless sleep. 

But tonight, she supposed the distance worked in her favor, giving her space to gently elevate her wrist. She knew she would regret not icing it in the morning but somehow that seemed more inviting than opening that can of worms with Michael right before bed. 

“Just worried you aggravated your injuries or somethin’. You sure nothin’ else hurts? You can’t always tell right away?” 

She knew what she should have said. The truth. That she needed an ice pack and a doctor. But she didn’t. In that split second, she knew he would never let this go if he knew she was actually hurt. And she could not deal with that. It was just a sprain anyway, she reasoned. She had dealt with far worse. 

“I’m sure. Really. I didn’t fall off a ladder, I tripped. It’s fine. But if you’re gonna get stressed every time I fall, I’d rethink getting on this ride for life. You’ll be in for a hella stressful one.” Her tone was filled with amusement that finally did, minimally, tug at the corners of his lips. She leaned over and pressed another kiss to his cheek. “Accidents happen and I’m not made of glass. Now take a deep breath and get some rest. Love you.” 

She turned over and closed her eyes, hoping that her words would be enough. But somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew they would not be. 

But sleep was not something Michael would find tonight as he stared at the ceiling, wallowing in this stabbing guilt in his chest. He did not particularly want to be awake with his thoughts but he knew sleep was not a reprieve either. This monster, this fear chasing him and making him feel and behave in ways he knew were utterly irrational, haunted him every minute of every day. 

And all he knew was that he had to stay alert, stay ahead of it and protect his girl. Because the one time he wasn’t watching close enough, wasn’t listening or paying attention close enough, she got hurt. He would not let that happen ever again. 

***

Spring had officially settled into the New York City air but today, Charlotte was grateful for the lingering morning brisk that required long sleeves, praying it would hide the swelling on her wrist until she left for work. She grimaced and struggled to get her jacket on without moving her wrist much.  Some idiotic part of her had hoped it would magically feel better this morning. But that was dumb. So she was leaving a bit early to carve out time for an urgent care visit. But she knew Michael would never let it go if he found out. 

They had started to turn a new leaf and find their rhythm again. And Charlotte wanted to preserve that, not giving her fiance any more reasons to coddle her to death. Besides, Charlotte much preferred the old version of him to this one overprotective one. 

She turned it over in her head most of the night and decided that it didn’t serve them to make a fuss over something so small when it was clear Michael harbored some unfounded guilt. She’d get it fixed and pass it off as a rehearsal injury. No harm, no foul. 

Michael emerged from their bedroom with his work bag and shoes in tow as she finished putting on her coat.

“You ready?” He flopped down on the coach to put on his sneakers, Charlotte pausing with an eyebrow raised in confusion. 

“Where are you headed?” 

“With you.”

All good things must come to an end, she groaned to herself. She thought they had finally moved past him accompanying her to work every day like a guard dog. Some good things were simply too brief. 

“Michael… I thought we agreed you didn’t need to come with me anymore?” Her tone couldn’t hide her annoyance, and she didn't particularly care to. “I went to the theater by myself like a big girl all last week and was totally fine.”

“I’m not bothering anyone sittin’ in a theater watchin’ you practice, Charlotte.” 

“Yea no one except me,” she muttered just loud enough for him to hear. A wounded look crossed his eye for a moment that made her feel guilty. “Sorry, sorry. That was rude. I just thought… we were settling back into normal life again. I don’t need a babysitter when you pay for me to have a bodyguard anytime I leave this apartment. I’ll be fine.”   

“There’s nothing wrong with extra protection. You need it. At least till he’s in prison.” 

“I don’t actually. I can handle it.” 

“No, you can’t.” 

Charlotte paused, slowly turning in surprise as silent frustration morphed into roaring anger. “Excuse me? Who are you to decide that?” She paused. “Wait, wait, wait. Is this still about last night??”

“Nah.” 

“You sure? Cause you were fine before last night and now you’re back to being unnecessarily overprotective.”

“I don’t think it’s unnecessary.” 

“Why?? Cause I tripped over my own feet? I’m gonna get hurt, injure myself and you can’t freak out like this everytime. I’m a magnet for accidents who bruises like a fruit. I’m fine. You can’t keep acting like we’re still at DEFCON1. We’re not. Things are getting back to normal, can’t we just enjoy that? Please? For me?” 

He studied her for a moment before nodding softly, throwing his bag down on the couch. She closed the space between them and kissed him softly on his cheek. 

“Thank you. I am heading to the theater. I’ll call you when I get there. Love you.” Not thinking, she went to grab for her discarded bag with her injured arm before the pain forced her to awkwardly change course and use her other hand. She started to move toward the elevator when she heard his voice stop her. 

“Wait! There something wrong with your arm?” Michael’s voice reached her as she was pressing the elevator button to the lobby.  

“No, why?” She was so close. Literally steps away. How had she fucked this up? 

“Because I saw you strugglin’ to put your jacket on and you just avoided using that arm like you couldn’t. And now that I think about it, I haven’t seen you move it all morning.”

“Jesus… you get trained by the CIA at some point or something?” 

“Charlotte. I’m serious. What’s wrong with your arm?” 

“Nothing, Michael.” 

“You’re really gonna lie to my face right now? Ok… Move it.”

“Michael…” 

“Charlotte.”

She could always tell when Michael was serious, when he did not want to be trifled with. It was just rare that he had to direct that tone at her. But hearing it now, she felt resigned. She would have to tell him the truth and she could already tell.. 

This was going to fucking suck. 

“Ok fine. I tried to break my fall last night and my wrist hurts a bit. It’s nothing.”

“Fuck, Charlotte!” He closed the space between them quickly, only pausing when he noticed the almost unnoticeable jerk of her body away from him. He could tell she started to flinch but caught herself, not that that made it hurt any less. He held his hands out as he took the last couple of steps to her side. He gently reached for her arm, pushing her sleeves out of the way to find her wrist swollen and red. “It’s sprained or broken. Why didn’t you tell me last night?? I asked you hella times if you were hurt. I knew we should’ve gone to the hospital o-or called a doctor.” 

“That’s why I didn’t tell you!” She cried out in frustration as she watched the love of her life turn into this person she did not even recognize. “Because I knew you’d lose it. I knew you’d force me to spend the night in the ER regardless of what I wanted. I’m tired of you coddling me like I can’t make decisions, Michael!” 

“So cause you’re mad at me… you lied to me? Again??? After you promised you wouldn’t do that shit again.” 

Charlotte scoffed. “It’s hardly the same thing! This was literally nothing! A few weeks in a brace and I’m fine. So yes, I omitted a minor injury so you wouldn’t feel the need to take control! So you wouldn’t focus 100% of your attention on every stage of healing of my wrist or whether a fall triggered PTSD somehow. I have this under control and handled. I don’t need help. I. am. Fine. I don’t know why you aren’t listening to me when I say that.” 

“Maybe because had I listened to you the last time you said that, I would’ve come back from LA to plan your funeral!”

Charlotte’s comeback died in her throat as his words caught her off guard. She didn’t think about… that. It was a simple statement of fact. But she didn’t really dwell on it, how close she came to losing everything, how she only survived because someone else was there to save her. That she would have died as the woman he created - weak and broken - and not the person she believed she fashioned herself into. 

No, those were truths Charlotte had no interest in dealing with. So she forced her reaction to remain neutral, ignoring the ache in her chest that had nothing to do with physical pain. 

“So you’re just gonna hold that against me for the rest of our relationship? Just never believe me o-or take my word for anything ever again?”

“No but-” 

“Cause that’s what it’s starting to feel like.”

“It wouldn’t if you were just honest! I’m trying to help you.” 

Charlotte took a deep breath before turning to hit the button on the elevator door. 

“Ok… Honesty… Well, honestly, I’m getting a little tired of being called a liar when all I’m trying to do is help us. Honestly, I’m not sure how you expect me to be vulnerable when you aren’t listening to me. Honestly, I’m tired of convincing the man I love that I’m not gonna fall apart every second because he can’t stop treating me like I’m gonna fall apart every fucking second. Honestly, I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only person trying to move past this. And honestly, today, I don’t want your help. Because reminding me with every look and action that I’m a victim when all I want is to continue celebrating the biggest accomplishment of my career isn’t helping me. It’s just more of what everyone else in my life does. And honestly, I’m. Tired. Of. It.” 

She punched the elevator button hard, a soft chime letting her know it arrived almost instantaneously. Thank God. 

“So, want any more honesty for today or are we good?”  

“That’s not wha-” 

“I have an interview in 20 minutes and I can’t be late.” She cut him off, pressing the elevator button in rapid succession as if that would conjure it faster. “See you tonight.” 

And with that, Charlotte stormed out, leaving Michael alone with his frustrations and guilt. Charlotte was rarely angry at him but he could tell she was reaching a new height of frustration. But he did not know how to stop. Even standing there, equally as pissed off at her as she was with him, all he wanted to do was rush after her to go with her to work. He could be pissed and still protect her, right? 

He despised the fact that she claimed he was not hearing her. He was listening, far more intensely than she realized. Which is how he knew that all was not well for her, how he knew she needed the extra support even if she did not want to admit it. 

And then to find out that she kept something significant from him again. Had he not proven to her that he was going to be present? And protect her from every threat? Did she not consider him capable of fixing her problems, of helping her? That made him only want to prove himself more, prove he could protect her from anything that came her way. 

But he didn’t know how to get her to see that he was doing what he had to protect her, to not fail her again.  

“Wow. Ok… a lot to unpack there,” Dr. Matthews muttered. “Charlotte, did you mean what you said? About him not helping you?” 

“Well… kind of? At the moment, yes. He’s been helpful in a lot of ways, don’t get me wrong. And I love him for it. It’s just… I lied because… I mean shit, I just wanted one day. One day to not be a survivor or victim or be reminded that Shaun tried to ruin yet another thing in my present. In fact, I wanted to celebrate that even though he tried to ruin this for me, I still came out on top. But it’s like - and I don’t even think he’s doing it on purpose, which it’s been so hard to tell him - Michael can’t not remind me of it. It’s in every look, every touch, every decision. It’s like all he sees is the broken woman on that bathroom floor. And I don’t want to be made to feel like her when she’s dead and buried.”

“Michael, do you hear what Charlotte’s saying?” 

“Yea, and I understand it but… what else am I supposed to do?? What if he comes back? What if he attacks her again? I need to be there to protect her.” 

“He’s not gonna come back!”

“You don’t know that! Did you think he was gonna basically change his job so he could get closer to you? I’m not gonna underestimate that nigga… ever again.” 

“Oh and I did? I underestimated the man I slept next to for years? I’m the only one here who actually knows what he is capable of!” 

“Clearly you did if you thought you could take him on yourself.” 

“Right because I’m just a weakling who needs big strong men to swoop in and save her at every turn because I got hurt once?” 

“It wasn’t on-”  

“Okay okay, once again, deep breaths. Whew… the soul mates ones are always the most intense. Can’t even get a word in in my own office,” Tanya remarked. “Ok, you want to know what I hear? Two people who, despite their immense love and adoration for each other, aren’t actually ready to be vulnerable with each other. And without that, you’ll never understand the other person’s perspective because you’ll never have the full story and you’ll keep bumping heads.” 

“We know how to be vulnerable?” Charlotte argued back. “I mean even telling Michael what happened to me in the first place, sharing that was me being vulnerable.” 

“It was and that’s brave and admirable. I don’t doubt that you two have had moments where you offer vulnerability. But this situation you find yourselves in is unique and trauma, our fears, are often the hardest to share with others. I think you both are acting from a fear-based place and that’s understandable but you’ll never be able to move forward. Instead, you’ll just keep holding tight to behaviors you both know don’t serve you or your relationship.” 

“I’m not scared,” Charlotte remarked. “Maybe this would be easier if I was… at least then his behavior would be understandable.” 

“We all have fears, Charlotte. And I do think there’s a reason you opt for dismissing and lying about your own pain as if it’s insignificant. And it could just be an ingrained behavior but I think you need to ask yourself if there’s another reason you don’t trust the foundation of this relationship enough to be honest with Michael when things aren’t going well. And Michael, getting worked up to the point of distress over simple injuries, not being able to let your partner out of your sight… that’s not healthy or sustainable for either of you. And that’s more than general anxiety. And in our first session, you admitted that to us both. So ask yourself why you’ve reverted to something you know doesn’t work? Whatever the reasons are, I can help you both navigate all of it. But you’ve gotta be honest with yourselves and me about the reasons behind it. Until you’re ready to share with each other how that night changed you and your relationship, you’re just gonna keep having this argument until you break. And I don’t think either of you really want that?” 

The both of them shook their heads, her words were harsh but they both knew there was a ring of truth to them. 

“Okay good. So homework for this week is to do just that. Sit with yourselves, really sit with everything the other person said today and try to examine it. Not from a defensive posture like you’ve been doing but like you know the other person loves you and has your best interests at heart. And figure out the why behind your behavior. Keep asking why until you drill down to whatever is truly bothering you. Then… I don’t care when or how, whether you wait till our next session or do it while you’re alone, you’re gonna have to tell the other person your why. And to be honest… it’s gonna suck. But that’s the only way you’re gonna make it to the other side of this. Sound good?”

Charlotte glanced over to Michael who gave her a slight nod. He reached across the cushions and gave her hand a squeeze. 

“Sounds good.”  

***

Michael glanced over at Charlotte, her deep brown eyes set with sadness and far away from him as she changed out of her costume. He would have been more worried if that look had not been a staple in her eyes since their therapy session a few days prior. Whether it was the lingering silence and coldness between them or the reflection Dr. Matthews tasked them with, he did not know. But he knew one thing: he hated it. 

And as much as he knew it would suck, he was ready to do his part to end that. Whether or not he felt as if he was doing the right thing, his time reflecting made him realize that if Charlotte did not agree, he was doing the complete wrong thing. He didn’t have to sit with himself long to understand his why, understand what fears had him in a tight vise grip. As much as he dreaded saying it out loud, part of him dreaded an endless stream of sleepless, lonely nights even more. 

He missed his honeybee. His Els. He missed who they were before Shaun waltzed back into their lives. And he knew some of it was on him. He could not force Charlotte to trust him again, but he could be a better listener so he could show up however she needed when she asked… not when he decided she needed him.  

“Wanna grab dinner nearby tonight? Instead of heading home?” 

“Not really up for it. Been a long day.” 

He bowed his head, nodding slightly. “Neither am I,” he admitted. “But I think we gotta try.” 

He knew he was asking a lot of her after the days they had. They had whiplash going from the highest of highs to a low so low, it felt as if they couldn’t climb their way out. But he wouldn’t lose her and he wouldn’t allow him to break them. So they would try. 

And soon they found themselves in a near-deserted 24 hour diner next to the theater, Charlotte stopping in her tracks when he went to open the front door.

“You wanna eat here?” 

“Yea I know it doesn’t look like much andd I definitely saw a mediocre health rating when I was here earlier but well, I had a whole reason. We can go somewhere else though.” 

Charlotte shook her head. “No, no. It’s fine. It’s just… God is funny, I guess.” 

“What do you mean?” Michael asked as they situated themselves in a booth at the very back of the restaurant. Michael sat with his back to the door, not his preferred arrangement but he wanted to minimize the chance of a random stranger recognizing them. 

“I’ve been here before… when I left Shaun.” She pointed to a worn out booth on the other side. “Sat right in that booth over there with Jazz and it was the first time I admitted to anyone what was going on. We sat here for hours, drinking terrible cheap coffee and she saved my life. Just telling her, saying it out loud, gave me the confidence I needed to do what I had to. A week later, Shaun was at a bachelor’s party in Vegas and I was gone. Shocked it's still standing. How’d it catch your eye?” 

“Came in here yesterday during the show and… reflected. Over about 6 plates of greasy fries and cheap terrible coffee.”

“Oof, reflection. I guess that explains the six plates of fries huh?” she joked with a light teasing smile that made him chuckle. “Seems like that’s our needed reflection fuel” she remarked as the lone waitress came to take their order. Once she returned to the diner counter, Charlotte continued. “And what did you learn?” 

“My why.” 

“And are you ready to tell me?”

“Yes but then… if you’re ready, I need yours. Because I think you know yours already too?” 

“How’d you know?” He knew her far too well.  

“Cause you would’ve tossed and turned even more than usual the last few nights if you didn’t. That genius brain of yours would’ve never let you sleep.” He teased back at her, Charlotte laughing lightly. 

“I don’t know if I like how well you know me.” 

“I do… know you. And I see you, Els. So I know I’ve been overbearing and probably annoying, Charlotte. And I’m sorry for how that made you feel, like you weren’t being heard and I never want you to feel that way with me again. But you aren’t being honest with me or yourself and I can’t move on till you are.” 

“You’re right,” she admitted. “You’re… absolutely right. I haven’t been and I know why. I just… it’s not even admitting it to you. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, really. So let’s agree… no judgments, no anger, no arguing… Just our ridiculously painful reflections and ugly truths laid out in a rundown crappy diner. My future is with you and there’s no future here if we can’t talk about the hard shit. So… let’s talk” 

“Ok I’m in.” 

“Pickers of the terrible diner first,” she smiled half heartedly, turning the table over to him. Her hands wrapped around the warm mug the waitress dropped off moments earlier. 

Michael sighed, his eyes trained on the cast on her arm for a few moments. Charlotte’s eyes widened as she saw his eyes brim with tears. He glanced away from her, sniffling a bit to stop them from spilling over. She reached across the table and grasped his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Bakari… baby. It’s just me. Just the two of us. You’ve been so strong for me our entire relationship and I love you so much for it. But you also have to trust me to be vulnerable, trust that I can be strong for you too. Talk to me. No matter what you say, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Michael nodded, internally working up the courage before he just decided to jump. Head first into it. That was always their way anyway, just leaping into what felt right and safe. And they had yet to crash and burn. They wouldn’t this time either. 

“A couple days after everything, I had this… dream. We were back in LA, married, livin’ together at the house. We h-had kids. Two boys, I think. I mean you would’ve thought time just sped up or something, it was so real. Everything I want for us, you know?” 

“It sounds perfect. I’m guessing it didn’t end that way though?” 

The back of his hand brushed away an escaped tear. 

“Nah, it didn’t. I came home and you were there. And so was Shaun,” he paused, his hand squeezing hers a bit before he continued. “He had a gun and he just voiced every guilty feeling living in my head. How I prioritized a fuckin’ movie role over you, how I went to LA even though I knew something wasn’t right. How you almost died and I could’ve been too late. How you probably think I’m like him when you flinch away or get scared of me. And the worst part was you agreed with all of it. You screamed at me for failing you.” 

“Michael, you gotta know I-” 

“J-just let me get this out, Els.” He sniffled and took a deep breath before continuing, “I woke up as he pulled the trigger and I freaked out for a minute. I’d just never had a dream feel so real. I reached and still there, and you flinched away from me. And it… fuck, it killed me, Els. It felt like God affirming everything I thought, all the ways I’d failed you. You didn’t trust me anymore, didn’t see me as safe. And every time I hear you cry in the shower because you think I can’t hear you o-or diminish your pain as if I shouldn’t care or act as if you aren’t worth being taken care of and protected, it reminds me that I can’t fail you again. I can’t afford to fail you again. I know I’ve been overprotective but I just… I can’t stop looking over our shoulders for him. Terrified I’m going to miss the signs again and this time, I’ll lose you.” 

Charlotte’s heart broke a bit at his words. Why had she not considered this? She thought he put all of his guilt and blame to rest but to know he had been harboring it for so long, everything made so much more sense. And she felt like the world’s biggest idiot. 

“Hey. Look at me,” she demanded, not speaking until his expressive eyes were trained on hers. “There hasn’t been a single day since I met you that you’ve failed me. I d-don’t need you to try and prove you’re my safe place or that you can protect me. You just are that by existing, by loving me and showing up for me. And yea… it might take some more time for my body to catch up, but that isn’t on you. That’s on me for not dealing with it. And PTSD is just a fucking bitch,” she chuckled, causing the deep creases of his frown slack a bit. “But I don’t blame you, not then or now. I lied to you, Michael.” 

“But I should’ve-” 

“Should’ve what? Been a mind reader? Sacrificed a job on a hunch? That’s not a fair expectation for yourself, baby. Nor would I have ever wanted or expected you to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime for me. I don’t need a savior, I just need you to be there as best you can. And even when I didn’t realize how much I needed you, you did and came back for me. How could I ever think a man who sees me as clearly as that is a failure?”  

“You asked me to move here to protect you. And I didn’t. And now he’s back out there and I need to know you’re safe until he isn’t a threat to you anymore. You were gone for five minutes, Els. That was all it took. And now, it feels like if you’re out of my sight for long, I just spend the time on the verge of a damn panic attack.” 

“I asked you to come with me to make me feel safe, to love me, and support me. Not to be a bodyguard. And that’s what you’ve done and more. You know what I love about how you love me?” 

“What?” 

“You’ve always seen me. Every little detail, every word, every oddity and intricacy. You see everything and your love has always reflected that, has always been exactly what I needed. But you can’t love me like that if you can’t see me. And you can’t see me fully if you’re always looking over my shoulder for him.” 

“And if he comes back around? What then?” 

“Then we deal with him. I know he could come back and there’s not much I can do about it. The only thing I can do is not waste my time, our time, waiting for him to knock on our door. He can’t be our anchor, holding us in one spot when we need to move forward. What kind of life would that be for us? I never felt like I could win against him but this made me realize that I win every day by thriving. He tried to hurt me on the opening night of my show and in June, I could potentially win a Tony for that show while he waits to go to prison. That feels like victory in some way to me. And I can live with that. I can live every day knowing that every time he’s shown up, I’ve just come out on the other side stronger and better for it. I could waste my life waiting around for him or I can live it. And I just need to live my life. And we just have to be us. And more than anything, I just want us back.” 

“I want us back too. But I can’t do that if you aren’t even being honest about how you’re feeling and what you need.” 

She sighed. “So I guess it’s my turn, huh?” 

She stared at him for a few moments before saying, “When I left New York, he had taken everything. My identity, self-esteem, personhood. He took it all and left me with the scraps. And for a while, even with the entire country between us… I still lived in terror of him. Afraid of my shadow, afraid to speak without permission… to look people in the eye. I could put on the character of Charlotte to perform for a couple hours a night or for a day on set but what he created was just a shell of a person. And I hated myself for it.” 

Charlotte glanced out of the window at the cars rushed past them, the city that never sleeps indeed. 

“And eventually I put myself back together and I said he’d never break me again… never take that power again.” 

She glanced over to him. “And then he showed up here a-and I realized that terror wasn’t gone… I just let it go so quiet that I forgot it was there. And the moment I saw him, it was like I was that broken girl all over again. When he hit me, while I laid on the ground apologizing to him, you know what he said? ‘There she is… the real Charlotte.’ Like he knew I had dressed up the shell all pretty and different but on the inside? I was… am still hollow… still his broken scared plaything who couldn’t fight him.” 

Michael’s heart broke at how despondent her voice sounded. But as hard as it was for her to admit that, he could not pretend he was not glad she did. This was easily the most honest Charlotte had been with him in their entire relationship, the most revealing about her own insecurities and pain. And regardless of what it took to get there, he knew what a monumental step forward this was. 

He doubted therapy would do much for them, or him individually, at the beginning but Dr. Matthews seemed to hit a home run yet again. 

“But you did fight back, Els. You fought him.” 

“I fought him because of you. Because I saw you in the crowd. Because you came back for me. And I should’ve told you that. You’ve spent almost two months believing you failed me when you saved my life twice that night. I fought and without you, I would’ve lost. I dunno, I guess I just didn’t want to admit that when it comes to him, I’ll always be broken? I’ll always be hollow. And that felt like admitting that all that work and healing to create the woman you fell in love with, the woman I was finally proud of, was a lie. And why would you want to be with a shell? And everytime you treated me like this fragile broken flower, it just felt like you were agreeing that I hadn’t changed too? And that just made me want to prove that I had.”

“Honey bee… You really believe that? That you’re a shell?” 

She shrugged. “What else am I supposed to think? I worked so hard and when I had the chance to show him that I was different, I froze until I knew there was someone bigger and stronger to help me.”

“You wanna know what I believe?” 

“Always.” 

“I think you gotta start giving yourself more grace, baby girl. To survive what you have and be where you are today? You didn’t need me or Jazz or Lauren or Jackson or anyone else to do that, that’s just you. And I’m not even talking about your insane roster of accomplishments. You’re light, baby. I mean literal light, you lighten up every room you walk into, people gravitate toward you in a way I’ve never seen. No one would blame you for being jaded or hardened but you aren’t. You laugh loudly and love hard. You aren’t hollow, Els. You’re overflowing with life and love and light. That’s strength. And acknowledging how he hurt you, how it still hurts you, doesn’t diminish that.” 

“I don’t want to acknowledge that version of me, Michael. Especially not with you. This isn’t a part of me I ever wanted you to see. Didn’t think… you could love me the same if you saw how broken I am. I guess that’s why I’ve also been pretending like I’m fine. Dealing with all this and being open about it… I don’t wanna turn you off.” 

“I wanna see it though, Els. I need to understand you, to support you. I’d marry you tomorrow if we could. You thought it’d be this easy to get rid of me?” 

“Falling into a million pieces after a stalking ex felt like it would be enough? You must really be in love with me then?” Though she meant it as a statement, he could hear the question in her words, her intonation spelling out her doubts. 

“No number of stalking exes could make me fall outta love with you. And there’s no reaction you could have, no number of nightmares or whatever that would do it either. I ain’t going anywhere. I love you and I should be supporting you the way you need it, not however I think is right. I knew that and I still haven’t been doing it and I’m sorry for that.” 

As they talked, Charlotte felt lighter than she had since Shaun waltzed back into her life. Unburdening all of her fears and actually talking to Michael made her feel like they could actually take a step forward, even if it was a series of baby steps. 

“Thank you and I can’t promise that tomorrow I’ll just be an open book. But I promise to try harder to be. I used to have to hide everything from everyone. No one knew the real story cause if I was honest, everything would fall apart and I thought I’d lose everyone. And I guess I convinced myself that going at it alone is the only way to avoid that? And this made me realize that… that’s all I know how to do. But I know I can’t go at it alone all the time and I shouldn’t. Our love was built to withstand a lot more than I give it credit for. So I will try harder and be more honest about how I’m feeling with you. Keeping things from you isn’t right, regardless of the reason. And you deserve better than that. I’m sorry too.” 

“Apology accepted. I know it won’t be easy for either of us, I ain’t expecting that. Let’s just promise that everyday, we’ll try?” 

“That I can do.” Charlotte studied him for a moment before getting up and scooching into the booth next to him. 

She threw caution to the wind and pressed her lips to his. The first second was tentative, as if she was mentally prepared for his sudden rejection. But instead he merely encouraged her, a gentle hand cradling her neck in an effort to bring her closer. And she leaned into it, savoring the renewed intimacy between them. All was not perfect and there was still work to do but she realized that with Michael, she didn’t need perfection. She just needed him. 

She only broke their intimate moment when she remembered they were most certainly in a public place. It hadn’t felt like it but she often felt like, when she was focused on Michael, everyone and everything around them melted away. But she also didn’t want a photo on the shade room tomorrow of them making out in a random diner. 

“Thank you,” she whispered. “For being here and loving me.” 

“Always, Els.”   

***

Michael let out a deep content sigh as he found himself back in his favorite sleeping spot, his face buried in the nook of her neck. 

“Fuck I missed this.” 

“Me too… you’re a really good weighted blanket.” 

“Damn, that’s all I’m good for??” 

Charlotte made a face as if she was contemplating his other qualities. “Yea… that and other fun bedtime activities,” she offered with a joking smile. 

“Say the word and I can show you just how good I am at those activities too.” 

“Not tonight. But only cause I know you’re gonna wanna make up for lost time and I want us to actually stay awake for it.” 

“I’d prefer you be awake too,” he muttered sleepily, the late hour starting to get to him. 

Charlotte could feel the tell-tale signs of Michael starting to drift off but despite the late hour, she found her brain unwilling to turn off as she thought about them. And how lucky she was to be with him. Weeks of disagreement and strife but they still found their way back to each other, found safety and refuge to reveal their fears and actually come closer together after so much time apart. 

If asked, Charlotte wasn’t sure she could find the words to articulate the love she had for this man and the love she felt from him. She never believed she would find this - someone who loved her so deeply, so purely. Someone whose love didn’t hurt. Who loved her scars she saw as ugly and the parts of her that she hid from the world, the parts that were barely bandaged together. For some unknown reason, he did. And he chose every day to love her through it all. 

The painful stinging of tears behind her eyes hit her as she sniffled. This is what hope and excitement about the future felt like, something that before Michael she rarely felt. Because regardless of what happened with her career or anything else, she couldn’t wait to build her life with him. This love was light and everything she hoped for but didn’t believe she deserved. And for the first time since the incident, she wasn’t scared to lose it. She no longer felt like she was watching their love story in fear of the end, but that she was watching it blossom. Because this was just the beginning of their story. 

“You good?” he asked as she sniffled quietly, lifting his head to find her eyes glistening in the dark with tears. “What’s wrong, honey bee??” 

“Nothing, nothing. These are happy tears, I think. I just… Marry me.” 

Michael let out a confused chuckle. “I know it was a crazy few days back then but you remember I already did this right? Proposed?” 

She reached over and turned on their bedside lamp, Michael shifting so she could sit up. 

“Yessss I know. I’m not reproposing. I’d never propose to a man, goes against my religion. I’m saying… Marry me… now. Well, not now as in here,” she amended quickly. “I mean, we’re in bed and we don’t have a marriage license but I don’t wanna wait.” 

“Els… don’t say that shit if you don’t mean it. It’s been a long few days, an emotional few months. We don’t gotta rush if you aren’t ready…”

Michael did not want to get ahead of himself or too excited, worried that she was swept up in the emotions of the day. After all, deciding to get married right away was something he would usually suggest, not her. She has always been the more cautious one where they were concerned. But he could not deny that if she was serious, she would be making him the happiest man on this planet. He was so ready to be her husband, to vow to love her for the rest of his days. He was dreading the year+ it would likely take to find the right time for a wedding given their schedules. He had bounced around ideas of smaller, intimate destination weddings in the fall but they hadn’t found the right fit yet.  

“I’m not rushing. I can see how it looks like that but this isn’t rushing. And I know we still have shit to figure out. I just… It’s gonna sound cliche but whatever time I have with you, whatever time I have to love you and be loved by you? I don’t want to waste it. I don’t wanna wait 3 or 4 months till we’re back in LA or however long it’ll take to plan some big wedding I don’t need. You’ve never wasted our time, Bakari. You’ve always been so sure and moved with that assurance. And I’ve never felt rushed by any of it, it’s always just felt right. And this? I feel sure, it feels right. We could wait if you want to, I’ll totally understand. I know this is literally insane. But I’m ready to be your wife, to build a life with you. I’m ready for our next step and I think you are too? Maybe?” 

At his silence, she added. “And it doesn’t have to be a big thing. We can go to the courthouse for all I care.” 

Silence. 

“Say something… please. Before I pray that God let’s the ground swallow me whole from embarrassment.” 

“My bad my bad. I was trying to find the words but then got offended at you thinking I’m gonna give you a courthouse wedding like we’re two teens trying to hide a pregnancy or some shit.” 

“What?? There’s nothing wrong with a courthouse wedding.” 

“Nah there isn’t but what about your family?? Mine? You don’t know how happy this makes me. And I’m all in without hesitation. But you deserve a special day, not a drive by at the courthouse. Give me 30 days, Els. Memorial Day weekend in LA, let me make it special for you.” 

Charlotte transitioned to sitting up on her knees before literally catapulting herself into his arms with pure excitement. Michael had to roll a bit to make sure they didn’t topple right off the bed. 

“We really doing this?? We’re getting married in 30 days?” 

“Yea! I can’t wait to be your wife, Bakari. Besides, you were right, Tony award winning Charlotte Bennett-Jordan has a far better ring to it.” 

“Fuck I love you so much,” his heart could’ve exploded into a million pieces in his chest. There was work to be done but they’d do it together, every day for the rest of their lives. And he couldn’t wait. 

“I love you more.” 

“Impossible.” He stared down at her, licking his lips as his eyes filled with lust. “You awake enough now for me to show you just how much?” 

Charlotte squeezed her legs together as his deep baritone reignited that feeling in her core. His lips searched for her weak spot on the side of her neck, caressing and sucking with the skill of a God. Fuck, it had been too long. But something stopped her. 

“I want you… so bad. But what if we wait until the wedding?” At his incredulous expression, she added, “You know, think about how much more special it’ll be after we’ve reconnected more emotionally after all this, our first time back in a while as husband and wife. It could be really special. What do you think?” 

Michael knew in his brain that she was right, it would be more special and intense after a long bout of celibacy. But the smaller head that controlled some of his decision making… was less than thrilled. 

So he immediately got out of bed and started to walk toward the bathroom. 

“Ok we haven’t had sex in weeks, 30 more days couldn’t have upset you that much??” she called out after him, her surprise clear in her tone. 

Michael turned as he reached the door, smiling his superstar boyish grin at her. “I’m not mad, I’m in. I’m just… gonna jump in the shower.” 

Charlotte doubled over in laughter at him. “Let me guess, a cold one?” 

“Ice cold. You shouldn’t be so irresistible, honey bee.” 

“You’re a mess,” she smiled at him. But he was her mess. And she loved him for it.  

“Maybe but fair warning, you won’t be tapping out that night.” 

She smiled. “As if I’d ever tap out on you. I guess we’ll be sleeping in separate corners tonight again?” 

“We’ll see how effective this cold shower is.” 

She let out a belly laugh as she flopped back into their warm covers and he started the shower. She could hear a girlish shrill noise a few moments later that she suspected was him stepping into the freezing water. She had to use their duvet to muffle the sounds of her giggles as she listened to him mutter expletives as he adjusted to the water temperature. 

“You good in there? Sounds like someone’s dying?” she called loudly over the water, deciding that she couldn’t not tease him for this. 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep??” 

She rolled her eyes with a grin and turned over to try to fall asleep, leaving her future husband to his needed activities. There would be quite a few cold showers and long runs in their future. For the next 30 days at least.

Taglist: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @hi888888sworld @msniaimani @destinio1 @lynaye1993 @chaoticevilbakugo @blackerthings @pipsqueak-98 @miyuhpapayuh @passionxwrites @gopaperless @injerafiend @ari17

***

A/N: I realized that the last time I updated the main story was like December lol my sweet OG babies... But they're getting married!! I really wanted to explore their recovery and hang ups before moving them forward. The next chapter is their wedding and then our final chapter (can you guess what night that'll be? lol) drop a comment and let me know what you thought!

[tswhiisftteedr]

Hey there, I hope your having a nice night or day, I saw that you wrote nsfw and was wondering if I could request something for chenya wit a female s/o who has a hard time gaing any weight, and a very skinny and tend to become insecure due to it.. and chenya "cheers" them up 👀

(I have this problem ☹ and would like to feel a bit better w some indulgence you know 🤷‍♀️)

Sweet-scented pigeon wing ☆ Headcanon + Drabble

☆RSA Student!Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker(Che’nya) x Skinny!Fem!Yuu!Reader :

Feeling insecure and self loathing sucks, but luckily for you, your act beastmen boyfriend Che’nya is here for you. And he’s going to ‘cheer you up to the best of his abilities!’

Warnings: Mature content, Che’nya is aged up to 18+ and NCR is an actually college, fingering, begging, not anything graphic(violence) reader is just insecure. Not proofread.

Note: Hi thanks for requesting, I’m sorry if this wasn’t what you were looking for, I’ve never written comfort for subject like body image, especially people who are ‘skinny’ as I’m more on the chubby side my self. (Working on it girly pops, I’m about to become a slim thick queen and you won’t see it coming, hdhhdjd lol) So if this isn’t to your taste I’m sorry, but I real hope it is!! Also some crack halfway through the smut, I guess it was to make it more cheerful and comforting, though idk if it’s good \:<

Before you two started dating, Che’nya had picked up on the fact that you were insecure in your appearance. Mostly wearing oversized clothes to hide your figure, and how you would panic whenever he hugged you out of nowhere, tensing as he fully embrace you in his warmth.

Back then, he used to think that the issues you had with your physic were temporarily, or mood related. ‘We all have those times we’re we feel low and unsure of oneself, right?’

Well to his somewhat ‘displeasure’ he was wrong. It’s not like he was mad at you for not liking everything about yourself, but more that it made him sad that you didn’t see ‘you’ the way he did.

Sure he understood the fact that being at risk of developing health issues like osteoporosis, higher chances for hypothermia and lower immunity system, just because of your weight, could make you insecure. And he also knew you did your best despite your struggle in weight gain.

The way he sees things, you can’t do much but you’re still already doing your max. So since you’re doing your best already, you shouldn’t worry to much about it.

He doesn’t expect you to change your opinion towards your body from one day to the other, even when you got together, he still saw the hesitation behind your eyes whenever he would compliment your looks.

But he did feel proud of the way your gaze slowly shifted through time, how you would look less ‘untrusting’ of his words after each time he would call you beautiful, cute, lovely, hot, ‘sexy mama~’, etc. The way you would wear clothes that were a bit more your size after each interaction, the way you felt more comfortable when he touch and caress you.

He knew your self doubts were still present, though he also knew that they were less dominant in your mind. As if every time he would hold your hand, hug you, kiss you, make out with you, those thoughts would be push further and further away.

Of course there were the days where those thoughts would resurface, hitting you with a wave of sadness and self loathing. Maybe someone had said something about your looks, maybe you weren’t so sure about you were wearing halfway through the day, or maybe it just one of those off day. The ones where you felt like shit no matter what you did, from the moment you awake, to the one you would fall asleep.

In cases like this, your lovely cat boy of a boyfriend would help by bringing your moral up, in his own very special way~

☆ more under the cut. ☆

You and Che'nya were hanging out in Heartslabyul’s rose maze, he had snuck once more to spend sometime with you. The both of you were laying down on the grass, staring at the clouds. When he turned to sneak a glance at your oh so beautiful face, he noticed a look of somewhat unease and despair on your face, so he decided to do something about it.

He knew what that faced meant, so he scouted closer to you slowly, his movement almost silent due to the soft grass under his body. His hands reached out suddenly, wrapping around your waist gently yet firmly before he lifted both you and himself off the ground effortlessly.

Now with you in his arms, without warning, he carried you towards the magic mirror in the dorm.

You soon found yourself back at your dorm, the ramshackle.

Once inside, he placed you down on the bed, keeping hold of one arm over your head while using his free hand to undo your buttons and zippers without hesitation.

Within moments, he had ripped your clothes apart revealing your naked body in all its glory. The sight of your figure and softness sent waves of desire coursing through him.

"You know, its pretty inconvenient for me not knowing when you’ll be down in a slump." He told you in a cheeky manner, obviously not serious. You can always count on Che’nya to tease in any given situation. “But it’s not all so bad, after all, when your like this I get to play with you.” he murmured against your neck, nipping lightly at your sensitive skin. “Though I would prefer it if it just some random fun, not me having to fuck into you just how perfect you are.” He told you with a rather serious tone, different from his usual one. Thought the softness behind his eyes told you, he wasn’t blaming or reprimanding you. He just wish you could see what he saw when he would gaze at you. But before you could think on that for too long-

"Now, lie back and enjoy yourself." Che’nya spoke out in his usual oh so casual tone.

With that said, he pushed your legs apart wider than they wanted to go and started playing with your ‘sweet-scented pigeon wing’ as he would call it.

Wait- the hell?! “Sweet-scented pigeon wing”, where does that even come from, like what the actual f- oh, right, you remember now.

Sweet-scented pigeon wing from potionology, it’s also known as Clitoria fragrans hence their vaginal shape. What a fucking bastard that he is for calling your coochie that!

Well at least if you had any doubts about sex, your mind was now well off them. But before your mental insulting and name calling of your boyfriend could continue anymore, it was abruptly cut short, by the one you were previously cursing out.

As Che'nya touched your sensitive areas, you could feel a mix of pleasure and shock coursing through your body. His cold hands contrasted with the warmth that was beginning to spread between your legs. He teased you mercilessly, rubbing circles around your clit before dipping his fingers inside of you. Every move sent waves of ecstasy throughout your entire being, making it hard for you to resist him.

In response to his actions, you arched your back involuntarily, moaning softly as he continued to torment you. "Che’nya stop... please..." You begged, but there was no real resistance in your voice. Instead, it sounded more like pleading for more.

"Feeling good, aren't you?" he purred, nibbling on your earlobe playfully. "You know you want this." With that, he pushed two fingers deep inside of you, stretching you wider than ever before. The sudden invasion caused another loud moan to escape your lips, followed by a whimper as he began to thrust them in and out of you rhythmically.

Che'nya chuckled at your moans and whimpers, loving the power he had over you. He increased the pace of his thrusts, going faster and harder until you were on the brink of orgasm. Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, he pulled out suddenly, leaving you panting and yearning for more.

"Not yet," he purred teasingly. "I want you begging for it, and obviously you got to explain why you deserve it, also you being attractive must be one of those reasons, ‘Kay!” With that cryptic remark, he stepped back slightly, exposing his erect member to your eager eyes. It was throbbing with anticipation.

You couldn't help but stare at his thick, throbbing dick, your eyes widening in a mixture of fear and desire. "W-What do you want me to say? T-That I... need this?" Your voice cracked slightly as he stepped closer again, pushing his cockhead against your entrance.

"Good girl," he praised, before sliding the head inside of you slowly. "Now tell me why else you deserve it." His pace remained slow, allowing you to adjust to his size while teasing both of them.

You bit your lower lip nervously, trying to gather your thoughts. "I... umm... I guess because... uh... well... it feels so good when you touch me like this... And that I’ve been good ..” You managed to stutter out between pants.

"And?"

"And, I suppose... that I'm somewhat pretty." You reply.

"You 'suppose' that you're 'somewhat pretty'? Hmm, I don't think that's going to cut it. You need to be confident about that sort of thing, especially if you want me to start pounding my dick into you." He tells you, giggling.

You blush bright red, feeling both embarrassed and aroused by his words. "I... I-I mean..." Stuttering again, you gather your courage and look him straight in the eyes. "I'm beautiful, okay? Okay?"

His grin widened as he heard these words leave your lips. "That's more suitable," he praised. He increased his pace little by little, gradually thrusting deeper inside of you. Each powerful stroke sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, making it difficult for you to maintain composure.

"You smell so damn good," Che'nya groaned, burying his face in your neck and sucking on your tender skin. His hands moved downwards, once more, grabbing your legs firmly and spreading them wider apart, exposing your wet and needy pussy to his hungry gaze. "Yes, you are perfect, there’s no other way to think about it."

You blushed deeply at his words, feeling both embarrassed and aroused. "I... I mean, I—!"

Before you could finish your sentence, he thrust himself fully inside of you without warning, stretching your tight hole to accommodate him completely. A cry of pleasure mixed with pain escaped from your lips as he began to move steadily, claiming you body inch by slow but powerful inch. Each time he pulled out slightly, only to push back in deeper than before, hitting your G-spot just right, sending waves of intense ecstasy coursing through your entire being.

"That's better," he praised between heavy breaths. "You sound so much better when you aren’t worrying about how you look, but instead of how deep I’m fucking you." He said that last part with a snicker.

You moaned in pure ecstasy as he continued to thrust into you, his thick member stretching and filling up every inch of your tight passage. The combination of pleasure and pain was almost too much for you to handle, but somehow, you wanted more.

"Oh god, Che'nya," you cried out, arching your back towards him. "I want... more..." Your words came out breathless and desperate.

He picked up the pace even faster, pounding into you relentlessly. Each powerful thrust caused a loud slapping sound against your sensitive flesh, adding an erotic rhythm to their passionate dance. His hands gripped tightly onto your legs, leaving marks on your skin as evidence of their intensity.

"That's it, baby," he groaned, his voice hoarse with desire. "Take all of me." Owing to his size, each deep penetration felt like hitting a new level of pleasure that left you begging for more.

Feeling his orgasm building up inside of him, Che'nya slowed down slightly, savoring every moan and whimper that escaped from your lips. "I can feel how close you are too," he panted between breaths.

"C-Come with me..." his voice cracked as he spoke those words, urging you to reach climax alongside him.

The feeling intensified beyond anything you could have imagined, pushing you closer to the edge of ecstasy. And then, just when you thought it couldn't get better, another powerful thrust sent waves of pure bliss coursing through your body, sending you over the edge into a mind-numbing orgasm unlike anything you had ever experienced before. Your entire being shook with intense pleasure as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss washed over you, leaving you completely lost in the moment.

As for Che'nya, he held on tightly, his own release drawing near. With one final, forceful thrust, he let out a primal growl, burying himself deep within you to the hilt. Quickly pulling out, his hot seed spurted forth, painting your stomach and chest with thick, sticky cum. He stayed there for a moment, observing his work. “See, your such a lovely thing.” Was all he said while looking at your fucked out face and and cum cover body.

Thanks anon for requesting!

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IWTV S2 Ep7 Musings - Loustat: The Trial (Spoilers)

Imma split my Loustat musings into 3 parts, cuz there's A LOT to unpack. So I'll do the Ep3/4 & Ep5 revisits in the next posts; this is just general/initial Louis & Lestat stuff I wanted to respond to.

They beat the dog snot outta Louis, omg. They nearly snapped his neck! Louis was barely conscious, ofc his memory's spotty.

I LOVE how they're emphasizing the physicality of the Maker-Fledgling bond, first w/ Lou & Madz, now w/ Les. It's ofc all wrapped up in how much Loustat loves e/o, but its also their blood connection thru Amel. (I wonder how Louis Merrick'ing himself in Ep5 affects his connection to Amel if his heart didn't stop, cuz Armand stopped him from burning too much?)

And I love what Jacob said in the Insider, afterwards.

Fear that Lestat's come to exact revenge; excitement (a frisson of both negative & positive emotions, excited to see Les just cuz of the tension of having not seen him in so long, but also having all his nerves & senses tingling cuz of the tense anticipation & not knowing what to expect--hence: fear); fury cuz this whole mess could've been avoided if Les had told them WHY European vampires should be avoided at all costs; and relief cuz Les's' alive, his husband's ok.

But this time Lou KNOWS he's the real deal, cuz he can FEEL it--"it wasn't NOT his hand." And Dream!Stat jumpscare in Dubai, well well well; I thought Lou'd stopped seeing him on that Parisian bench? 👀

Here we effing go, whatever this French bish has to say better be good 🍿🍿🍿

I HATE HIM YOUR HONOR 🤣 Omfg take ONE thing seriously! Not the Roland-Garros, STFU! XD Lestat going off script got the coven like WTF?!

OML 🍿🍿🍿

Well that's not helpful at all--WHICH ONE!?

Les was asleep for the whole 100 years b4 he went to NOLA--but we KNOW this can't be true, cuz Les met Marius after he left Paris❗ SAM (the vamp) has been mouthing the words to this whole script, so I wonder if that's just what Les was TOLD to say, OR! It's what HE told THE COVEN, so they wouldn't know about TWMBK❗❗

NOT LES DOING A PIROUETTE INTO THE EARTH STAHP OMG 😭

THIS GAY QUEEN CAN'T HELP HIMSELF, I CANNOT

Awoke in 1908 & disembarked in humidified daughter of Paris, NOLA--but Les told Lou he was headed for Saint Louis, Missouri. 👀

"And who did you meet there?" DANG this is TENSE--Loustat finally making eye contact for the first time, Les having to see his husband all beat up & sad; as Claudia languishes in the background, as usual.

Not Louis with the cigar 😭

"The ACCUSED," LOL, Santiago had to catch himself--stay dehumanizing the violent evil Black man whydontcha; we see you. And Lestat had to feed him his own lines after derailing everyone with that homophobic soldier's evisceration.

Omg this sounds like every court case b4 they throw the book at a Black man. And the bored unaffected way the white audience just rolls their eyes & shakes their heads & smokes--they DGAF about Lou; they've already decided he ain't ish--A STONING.

LOUIS FACE. This is EXACTLY how folk in the fandom talk about Lou--and it came back with a vengeance during all that Loumand Maitre/Arun crap, as y'all were QUICK to jump on Lou being an evil pimp, even though your fave Daniel literally said that was just kinky roleplay Armand didn't take seriously when ish got REAL.

I thought y'all were just bartering for the "last bouquet of lilies"!?

Oh great, the coven's making Louis look like a perv predator. 🤦‍♀️ And the visual centering of Lou's dastardly mind-control waves like a halo over sweet innocent victim Lestat's blonde head, I CANNOT.

Omfg Louis face, SAME! If this crocodile-crying liar don't take his To Kill A Mockingbird, Central Park Five lookin arse off that stage! 🤬

Omfg Lestat I'm finna kill you myself. Omg this nonsense is too much; I know Lou, speak up, YES! But also, STFU, Les is actually tryna save your life by tearing your reputation to shreds. 😬🤦‍♀️

I loooove this effect when the coven uses the Mind Gift on them. They effed him up so bad his left eye started hemorrhaging. 😭

Armand don't you look away for an INSTANT, don't you even BLINK! You could've prevented this, EFF ALL Y'ALL in this nasty AF Theatre!

This gaslighting is hitting way too close to the way IRL court cases go when the innocent get the book thrown at them for crimes they didn't commit.

This is so painful to watch, but Sam Reid you better werk; the way he was yelling those lines had me shook, oml.

Les knows he's effed up, but what can he do? His eyes are going red; he's gonna cry. (His contacts look different, I thought they said they were gonna stick with purple eyed Les?) "I offered it to him in the church on the altar: My companionship." And Lou nodding along, cuz that was their wedding! 😭💔

I was wondering how these frames would be used. It's about the Ep3 race riots and vampire loneliness, the night Louis left & Claudia was made. But I love the implications, cuz how could humans know ANYTHING about hows vampires feel--which is SO important when they start lying about everything else that went down with how Claudia was made and how it would affect her as a "defective" vamp.

Even the VAMPIRES don't know how other vampires feel, and the capacity they have for enduring--Armand said it over & over to Louis in Ep3 and Madeleine in Ep6. Lestat came closest in S1 when he commented on Claudia's eternally 14-yr old metabolism & needing to eat more than an normal vamp, but beyond that none of them had a effing clue what Claudia was going through. They don't know REAL loneliness, even with her diaries telling them what she thought, not HOW SHE FELT.

(And I'm reminded of what I said here about Gabrielle telling Lestat what her loneliness felt like. I think "vampire loneliness" is different for every vampire; which is precisely why Gab (and Claudia) was able to walk away from her Maker/son & live alone; while Nicky & Louis went crazy.)

Lestat crying blood tears, daaaaang 😥

Kill this dude (but I stan a Loustat ally, LOLOL).

Imma stop here, cuz I've run out of Tumblr's stupid 30-pics per post, and the Ep3/4 revisit that "took all the pieces of Louis life, defiled them, bent them into a Lestat-shaped effigy" is IMO the JUICIEST part, with the most new meat to chew on.

[weird-bookworm]

LET'S SPREAD SOME LOVE!!!!!

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

😄

oh god this is gonna be one hell of an answer

@fairyhaos because shes the sweetest comfiest most adorably chaotic lil ball of energy + she gives the best advice like hello??? what are you??? oh god my heart goes a little off track everytime we talk i just love you so much

@wheeboo okay shes part 2 of the they-make-me-feel-the-safest trio along w yena and axe like please i stumbled across the sweetest sassiest boo stan ever ALSO UR GORGEOUS???

@blue-jisungs axeaxeaxeaxeaxe so chaotically lovely and so boomer and so fun and yoid think shes savage but no shes just soft and as harmful as a pinecone (why do u remind me of tht one joon meme of him just. sitting there. peeling potatoes. in tiny.)

@slytherinshua we kinda talked less for a while bc life happened and then caught up (kinda lol) and im so glad to see shes still as crazy and lovable as ever (im waiting for tht ppt) like talk abt impressive. impressive is her whole personality. sometimes in, uh, less than conventional ways...hehe

@eternalgyu HANNIE WHERE TF R U I MISS UUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭🫶🏻 like yk what i imagine when i think of hannie? causing mischief. LIKE IDEK WHY OKAY i just feel like we'd be running around giggling like idiots js pulling random pranks on people and js the thought makes me smile

@yllouhannie ylli is like love. ylli is gentle and kind and sweet. shes understanding and passionate and really quite cute. oh my love you make me wanna jump off a cliff because how can someone like you exist 😭 (no srsly what is this witchcraft ilysm mwah)

@woozvc nora is like home. which is saying a lot lmao i sound dramatic but like yk when u just talk to someone and it feels just right even tho ur not rly doing much? shes older but she lets go and i can just feel how absolutely beautiful this person is *melts off a cliff*

@welcometomyoasis shu oh shu i have no words so pardon if this is a little small but. ik i say this a lot but i rly do mean it. i love you. so much. yr msgs and reblogs and asks always make a smile and they make me giddy and suddenly nothing is wrong with the world 🥺

@haecien bro is my ultimate gay bestie like what else do you need in life other than cien. what. nothing is the answer. life is complete when u hv cien and his shenanigans lolol like i dare you try to Not like him. i m p o s s i b l e.

@glosskirt AYYYYY MY ARMY SOULMATE we connected over min yoongi. we still rant over min yoongi. we shall die talking about min yoongi. like there is nothing better than having someone to fangirl with over my favs gloss you filled a hole in my life <3

@mesanthropi weiwei!!!! my little bundle of sugar spice and everything nice!! (+ chaos and a passion about the randomest shit ever how do u live why am i not this exciting) how is it always fun to talk to you and why do ur msgs excite me so much

@aaniag chaos. thats it. chaos. this woman brought with her about half a dozen more desi moots for me like how do i hug you how do i appreciate you enough i ugghhhh 😩

@thepoopdokyeomtouched im still waiting for my flirting yk? lol on a serious note, u and ur crazy streak r probably the most entertaining thing on here, and i fucking love it. i love ur chaos and the fact tht u choose to share it w me, thank you 🫶🏻

@arafilez bro rly dropped outta thin air like a fucking ghost and made my life abt a 100x more exciting where were you my entire life ara. where. why didnt the atz rants and the writing and the random asks show up sooner. why.

@nonononranghaee HAFS MY LIL CUTIE PATOOTIE WHY DO I ALWAYS WANNA SQUISH U NOMNOM U CRUSH U KSKSJEHEH u give me so much cuteness aggression oh my god...

@kkooongie sarah sarah sarah sarah sarah i live for ur writing and im always looking forward to our little chats abt books and random stuff (...when r u updating btw 😅)

@maeleelee @mxnsxngie @imagine-a-life-like-this i don't tell you guys enough how much i love and appreciate each one of you. i dont tell u enough how grateful i am whenever i think abt u bc god ik how hard it is to take in a random person in ur circle, to adjust w a kid, to make said kid feel safe and included and loved. so thank you. for all that you do for me and for loving lil ol' me <3

@cadenonlinelive where u at damn i hvnt seen u in ages

@rubywonu @idubiluv GUYS STOP HIBERNATING ITS NOT WINTER ANYMORE I MISS U

[farmerlarrry]

Orange Slices (Joel Miller x f!reader) — ongoing

read on ao3 here | orange slices playlist | current word count: ~90k

summary: A story about finding companionship and love in the midst of chaos. | You've been on your own since the outbreak started, hopping around from place to place; you’ve kept your head down, doing whatever you need to do to survive. How you feel about love and companionship changes once you meet Joel, and it's something you and him aren't quite sure how to handle.

warnings/tags: post-outbreak, age gap (reader is 24/25 in chapter one), angst, angst w/ a happy ending, slow burn (I’m talking S L O W), eventual romance, canon typical violence, canon divergence, injuries, fluff, hurt/comfort, gun violence, protectiveness, Joel has a soft spot for reader, Joel is bad at feelings, Joel needs a hug, protective!Joel, hurt!Joel, depictions of grief, time jump, eventual smut (I will tag the chapters as 18+ & add warnings to chapters, just because it’s going to be a while before we get there lol), this is going to be a long one my friends…, no beta we die like men, (if I missed anything please let me know!!!)

a/n: This is the first fanfic I’ve written in almost 10 years and I'm new to the character x you/reader writing style, so if anything sounds odd or awkward, I deeply apologize. The story is mainly based on the game, however, I keep it pretty vague so if you like the show depictions better, it should still work. I hope you enjoy!

if you want to be notified when I post new chapters, follow @farmerlarrrylibrary and put on notifications! If you'd rather be tagged, just let me know. After Orange Slices is completed, I will no longer be posting on this account. If you like to continue following my writing, my main account is @urbancowboyjoel.

Chapters:

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

chapter six

chapter seven

chapter eight

chapter nine

chapter ten

chapter eleven

chapter twelve

chapter thirteen

chapter fourteen 18+ MDNI

chapter fifteen

chapter sixteen

chapter seventeen

coming soon…

chapter eighteen 18+ MDNI

chapter nineteen

chapter twenty

chapter twenty-one

chapter twenty-two

chapter twenty-three

chapter twenty-four

chapter twenty-five

chapter twenty-six

chapter twenty-seven

chapter twenty-eight

chapter twenty-nine

chapter thirty

there will be more... I just have it outlined up to thirty chapters right now...

Thank you for reading! Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. ❥

painting divider | credit: @cottage-writings

[itjazzbicch]

Free

Pairing:  Havik (Dariou) x Reader 

Summary: Once a slave who helped build the realm of Seido, the reader has always lived their life in fear from the trauma the realm has caused them, only to be blindsided by Havik, who comes to free them, destroying Seido with Rain's assistance, and promising the reader a new, better life as they are free...

Requested by: @isimpformaskmen (Ya asked for some Havik, so I hope you enjoy it!)

Warnings:  Havik's Tower ending spoilers, Reader was a former slave, Reader uses Havik's real name, Dariou. The reader is also a little crazy like Havik is (lol)

Word Count: 0.7k 

Seido wasn't the glamorous realm that everyone thought it to be. It was built on the back of enslaved people such as me, living through horrors and strict laws. Most people were afraid to make so much as a tiny, meaningless mistake because there was a chance that they'd be imprisoned for it.

I lived much of my time as one of the commanders' servants. It wasn't the best, but it was better than being in prison or dead.

"I'll be right back with what you requested, sir," Bowing my head to the commander and going about my way, I started daydreaming like I always did, thinking of a better life and startled by screams that I heard in the hall.

In fear, I quickly hid against the wall, covering my mouth and panting as I heard more screaming. It sounded like some guards were fighting someone, that someone letting out a deep but low laugh with the screams silencing.

Panting harder, I could hear the footsteps getting closer. I didn't want to be next, but I was afraid to move, seeing a figure pass by. Somehow, they didn't notice me, my hand falling limp as I recognized them:

"D-Dariou?"

He recognized my voice, slowly turning to me:

"Y/N. I found you."

I was shaking, struck with shock as I saw his disfigured face, beginning to ramble out of fear:

"W-What are you doing here? We'll be killed!"

"Oh no, we won't," He growled, taking my hand, "Tonight, our lives will change for the better. Now, we must leave. Immediately."

"O-Okay," I nodded, following him as Dariou was my only friend in this forsaken world. We managed to make it out unharmed and no one on our tail, heading clear up to the mountain top, nearly crying as I pleaded to him:

"Dariou, tell me what's happening. Please, I'm scared."

"There's no need to be afraid," He sighed, finally at the peak of the mountain, holding my hand as I stared at him; his scarred face still took me aback, a tear dropping to my cheek as I caressed his cheek softly:

"What happened to you while you were gone?"

It was apparent that it was a sensitive subject as he turned away from my hand, but I quickly held his hand again, reassuring him:

"I don't think of you any differently. I've just worried about you so much, and I can tell you've gone through a great deal of pain."

"I have," He murmured, pulling me to him and keeping me under his arm, "But that's all about to pay off. Rain!"

Who? I was confused but stayed put, still scared and so, hugging Darriou's torso, watching as this man dressed in purple with a staff stood at the peak:

"Leave the rest to me."

Suddenly, thunder started cracking in the sky, and that alone showed me that this, Rain, wielding strong magic, his arms raised to the sky as it began to rain and that water grew more and more into waves and quickly after, a gargantuan storm, flooding the capital of Seido.

I was scared but was smiling for some reason as Havik left me where I stood to take a closer look, hands also raised to the sky as he was laughing chaotically:

"FINALLY! FINALLY, SEIDO FALLS!"

The entire capital was destroyed, but I was grateful for Dariou because I still could've been down there.

"This-" I whispered shakily, looking at Dariou, "This is why you came for me?"

"You've suffered as greatly as I have, Y/N," Coming back to me with his arm over my shoulder again, he brought me to see the destruction, "But now, we're free! As we always should have been!"

"We're f-free?" I cried softly, my throat closing from holding back tears, "We're free!"

As I watched the waves of the storm cascade with destruction, I couldn't help but cry, squeezing Dariou as his arm wrapped around me, embracing me as he whispered:

"I told you I'd come back for you and make our dreams a reality, remember?"

What I thought would be a dream was coming true, and as I picked my head up to wipe my tears, I was smiling again, beginning to laugh along with him:

"It's come true. We're free!"

"Yes indeed, my dear!" Still holding me, we stared at the destruction of Seido with smiles. It was the beginning of a new era, his voice confident as he swore to me, "And no one will ever shackle us in chains ever again!" 

2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome 

[paizau]

I started watching the @letshaveabouba livestream on youtube, I'm 2 streams in and its really nice! the only bad thing is that because its a recording of a livestream I can't really add my input or share my ideas so I'm gonna blurt it all here.

The proto inventory they came up with is this:

In their documentation they put /a/ as a low central vowel, so its a classic 5 without /e/, but I decided for me I'll make it a square system, it'll make vowel stuff easier for me - so /i/ /u/ high, /æ/ (a for ease) /ɔ/ (/o/ for ease). I also interpreted the back consonants as +pharyngeal, and split the back non stops as one being a fricative and thr other an approximant, instead of having both be both.

regarding syllable structure, they came up with CCVT. I elaborated on it and made it #CC-VCCV-T#, which stands for:

initial cluster of any 2 different consonants allowed. yes, every cluster, even /jqa/ is allowed, but /tta/ is not.

intervocallic clusters of any 2 different consonants allowed, no 3 or more consonants in a row. so /aqba/ but not /ut.ska/

word finally only single consonants allowed, and specifically only alveolars. /klat/ not /pgum/

regarding sound changes, they talked about tone, and having epinthetic vowels breaking up initial clusters and vowel lowering. These are the sound change I came up with to achieve these goals, and some other stuff that seemed cool to me:

Tonogenesis: high tone after voiceless consonants, low tone after voiced. A voiceless consonant preceded by a voiced one gives low tone, and voiced preceded by voiceless gives high tone: /tá/, /dà/, /ntà/, /kná/. Im pretty sure something similar happens in tibetan, but it has aspiration involved, and im not going to have that, so this is only inspired by it.

voicing assimilation: stops and fricatives assimilate to the voicing of a following consonant of the same cluster. now tone is phonemic :) yay: /kná/ > /gná/, /ztì/ > /stì/, but /ntì/, /lsì/ stay as is.

pharyngeal spreading: a consonant in a cluster with a pharyngealized or back consonant become pharyngeal aswell: /psˁì/ > /pˁsˁì/, /ħɡʷà/ > /ħɡʷˁà/.

epinthetic vowel insertion: a vowel is inserted between all initial clusters. its quality depends on the surounding consonants. if one of them is palatal its /i/, if one of them is labialized velar, its /u/. if its both, it depends on the initial cons. else its /a/: /ctú/ > /citú/, /skʷò/ > /sukʷà/, /wɲù/ > /wuɲù/, /tkú/ > /takú/. idk what tone the new syllable gets I haven't thought about that.

pharyngeal lowering: vowels are lowered as follows after pharyngealized and back consonants: /i/ > /e/, /u/ > /o/, /æ, ɔ/ > /ɑ/. now we have 7 phonetic vowels - /i, u, e, o, ɛ, ɔ, ɑ/ yayyy yippee I love big vowel systemsss!! /tˁicˁá/ > /tˁecˁɑ́/ etc.

/ji/ /wu/ > /i/ /u/: because I don't like those sequances. I also think /wra/ >> /urà/, /jki/ >> /igì/ is pretty cool.

Here the current inventory after these changes:

and a few notes:

phonemic destinction between H and L tones

kept the lowered vowels allophones. You could just make pharyngealization go away and phonemicize the vowels but I like this gigantic inventory better lol

Potential /q ħ ʕ/ > /ʔ ∅ ∅/, to make the vowels phonemic. maybe /q/ > /k/. or even /q/ > ∕∅/ aswell?? it'll be a bold decision to make

syllable structure - #CVCCVT#. Initial clusters are now forbidden, but everything else is the same. I think V{j, w, ɰ, ħ, ʔ}C can lead to vowel length or more qualities or something, the sequance has potential.

So yeah this is all the ideas I have in my head rn, I hope it was an interesting read lol. I also recommend you go and watch the streams yourself, the vibe is very nice and help the creative juices flow, like I'm really happy with what I came up with here based on their protolang. it was like a fun colab challenge thing :) here's a link to the channel:

[blvckentropy]

DS FINALE | 3/3

*Richie takes a deep breath*

Richie: Hello ladies

All: Hello

Richie: I want to start out by saying you all look absolutely stunning

All: Thank you!

Kierra: But why we all here?

Thalia: Wasn't there a winner?

Richie: Yes....this decision took a toll on me, so much I almost ran from it. But knew that wouldn't be fair to either of you

Richie: I can't make this decision w/o getting this off my chest

Richie: Kierra, you are amazing inside and out. I really enjoy spending my time w/ you especially. Any sim would be lucky to have you in their life and I'm lucky to have you apart of mines

Thalia, I felt a connection between us the moment I saw you. You took my breath away with your beauty, I still have trouble talking to you without getting sidetracked

Andrea, even though you're not on my team. Something about us makes sense. I felt like I was betraying my brother in some way, but he made it clear to me today that he wants the best for me. And I think that's you

Richie: Unfortunately, I can only pick one you. But can't deny what my heart wants. This girl feels right in every type of way. The longer I'm around her, the more I see my future with her. And hope the feeling mutual...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Richie: Andrea, I may stumble over sweet phrases, yet my heart sings only for you. Tell me your heart beats in time with mine, for I cherish the moment I fell under your spell

Andrea: Me? OMG are you for real?!

Richie: Yes, I am but I hope there's no hard feelings ladies. I feel guilty

Kierra: Don't be, though it hurts a little, I seen the way you two look at each other. This was a great experience. I can't wait to have something similar

Thalia: Same. I think at some point it was clear that connection was mostly physical, from both parties but I don't regret a moment. Congrats to you two

Richie: Thank you, I appreciate and cherish the time we had as well. I wish the best of luck to you both.

He holds out his hand towards Andrea

Richie: What you say Andrea, do you and Ms. Tilly want to spend forever together?

Andrea: *laugh* I thought you never ask sweet cheeks

---------------------------------------------------------

Andrea: How long you practiced that speech handsome?

Richie: You hate it?

Andrea: Never but I have something else on my mind

She grabs his face for a long smooch

@foxsimthings Thank you so much for Thalia. She a stunning sim and was a hoot to have. She kept me on my toes especially every time she interrupted the other sims 🤣 She was very delightful to have and I'm honor to have this experience w/ her 💛

@invisiblequeen Your girl came close and ngl I was rooting for Kierra from the beginning (no shade to the others). Unfortunately, when she caught Rich w/ Andrea, her bar took a hefty toll. But I loved every bit of her. She was definitely what you describe through and through because there was not moment she wasn't gardening and around those animals lol She may have not won the battle, but she won the house. I think I'm leaving it in good hands 💚

@havenroyals CHILEEEEEEEEE! this girl right here.... I literally have no words yet so much. She was a gem to tell you the truth. She and her hat (Ms. Tilly) had me on the ropes lmaooo I never smiled nor laughed so hard in my life. She really had me enjoying the game like gameplay wise. It's one thing, I thought she'd would hit it off with one of the boys but to have them both and a side piece! I don't think I could have written a better love triangle/throuple. You guys don't believe me when I say I really did nothing! She came in and made her own rules. I placed her R-bar on zero twice and she always managed to fill it halfway with Richie. It was sealed at the start, I tried to sway her, but she wasn't going. Anyways, thank you again and congrats! I think Richie got his hands full. *last bit is for Drea 💀*

[tommyssupercoolblog]

BIG MAN!!!!!!! QUESTION!!!!!! host is wondering if you have any good miscecanis blog reccs!!!!!! he wants me to ask JUST in case -@ctommyinnit (pssst ping me when you answer)

HEY OTJER TOMMY @ctommyinnit HELLO HELLO!!!!!! Sorry this took so long to answer, I have things HAPPENINGG

In general I suggest just searching "miscecanis" or "a/b/o lifestyle" (since they're the most popular tags here) and looking at some of the recent posts now and again, and then following blogs that consistently catch your eye.

Regaurdless, here (under the cut) are some blogs and the general vibe of their accounts, what to expect, etc, to help out!! (Hopefully)

@beta-adjacent is one of my mutuals and posts a lot of cool a/b/o stuff- they Reblog other unrelated stuff too from time to time.

@omega-floof is great. Lots of worldbuilding-esque posts which is SO FUCKING RAD. Sometimes has nsfw content but in a very like, clinical way?? It's not porn is what I'm saying, nothing is described it's just like "oh and then they breed lol"

I have no idea how to describe @pack-the-pack , but I can say that this account rocks. Just like….just look at it. I'm sure they can do a better summary or someone else can but sometimes I struggle to describe things. LOOK AT IT look

@transiota is also a mutual and is really cool!! They post a lot of alpha and intersex-a/b/o content, the latter being a rlly specific niche haha. they also post unrelated content there, and sometimes post suggestive-ish content too tho I personally have never seen anything completely nsfw. (I could be wrong though). They don't tag their posts either so if you have a trigger or if you want to avoid discourse than tread carefully or just look at their posts when they get reblogged or show up under #misecanis.

@omega-puppy has a neat account, again I'll give a heads up that they post nsfw on their acc a lot, but it's not exclusively nsfw; they have other posts too. We aren't mutuals (they are following me though, hi!!!) but I see them in my notes a lot and tend to reblog a lot of their sfw or close to sfw text posts. From what I've seen I think they're poly/have multiple mates, but if I'm mistaken I'm sure it'll get cleared up in comments/reblogs.

Last but certainly not least, @transalpha-coining . They're inactive nowadays but they have a TON of treasures stored up on that blog if you're willing to scroll through it. Headcanons and flags and explanations of worldbuilding stuff, plus they used to take asks/requests. They even invented words for things, like "kappa" as an omega version of "feminine", which regardless of whether you like the word is definitely a super cool thing to do. They're one of my all-time favorite miscecanis blogs so if you have the patience to look through their old posts, definitely do.

If anyone tagged here wants to correct anything or make any comments, please do!! You can also reblog w more blog recs if u want

[fluentmoviequoter]

Sleepwalk

Pairing: Victor Vale x reader

Summary: Eli finds an EO that can travel into people's dreams and decides to pay you, the one person Victor Vale cares about, a visit.

Word Count: 5.3k+ words (I'm on a roll with long fics that no one is reading lol)

Warnings: spoilers for Vicious by V.E. Schwab, canon-typical violence, description of fights and injuries, Eli touches the reader w/o consent (not sexually), angst, fluff, time skips, Victor calls reader 'sweetheart.' There are two points that I left open-ended if anyone is interested in another part. I think that's all!

A/N: Here is my first Victor Vale x reader fic! He is likely OOC, but I would like to keep writing for him and try to capture his character better if anyone has any requests! Please let me know what you think!!

Masterlist Directory | Victor Vale Masterlist | Request Info (OPEN)

Yesterday Morning - Merit

“No, no, no! Stop. Please. Don’t shoot me; I’ll do whatever you want,” the EO begged, a gun pointed at his forehead. “I can do something. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

Eli inhales deeply, dropping the gun to point to his chest. “Fine. What can you do? Twenty seconds or less.”

“I can travel to dreams,” he rushes out. “Like, if you fall asleep and have a dream I can come into your dream and do stuff.”

“How would that help me?” Eli growls, raising the gun to his neck. 

“What I do in the dream affects the dreamer.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning if I say something, hurt someone… kill someone, it really happens. They remember, they have the wound, they don’t wake up.”

Eli weighs his options as the gun stays steady on the shaking EO. 

“And I think I could take someone into the dreams with me.”

Eli smiles and drops the gun to his side. “Now that is promising. You’ll do anything, you said? Excellent.”

10 Years Ago - Lockland

Victor Vale doesn’t have friends. He does have you, though. Every Tuesday, you meet in the library and spend the afternoon together, when you can, you get lunch together, and despite his determination not to, he cares about you. 

“You’re leaving again?” Eli asks as Victor heads toward the door. 

“Yep, that’s the joy of a standing date, Eli,” Victor explains sarcastically, “it’s always standing.”

“Where are you going?”

“To get dinner. Why?”

“I’m hungry.”

Victor stops with his hand on the doorknob, sighing as he invites Eli to come with him. He knows he’ll regret it, but it’s too late. 

“Hey, Vic!” you greet, standing from your seat to hug him before he sits down. 

Victor hugs you a little tighter than usual but pulls back quickly. “This is my roommate, Eli,” he introduced you.

Victor clearly doesn’t want to share one of you, and you assume he’s likely closer to his roommate than you. Eli extends his hand to shake yours, and when he raises your hand to kiss your knuckles, you have an overwhelming urge to run as far as you can from Eli. 

“Nice to meet you,” you say, awkwardly smiling as you pull your hand back. 

“So, how do you two know each other?” Eli asks, sitting beside you in Victor’s usual spot. 

Victor sighs and sits across from you, ignorant of Eli’s hand resting too comfortably on your thigh. You squirm in your seat, trying to make room between you, but Eli stays too close. 

“We just crossed paths one day,” you answer with a shrug. 

You glance toward Eli and suppress a shiver at the look in his eyes. It’s like there’s nothing behind them, like his attitude and humanity are part of a mask covering a monster underneath. His hand moves on your thigh, and you can no longer resist the original urge to never see Eli Cardale again. 

“I just remembered that I have a test tomorrow and I need to go study. I’m gonna go,” you say, standing from your seat. 

“Good luck. See you around,” Eli responds, his practiced smile nearly blinding you. 

“Maybe,” you whisper as you walk behind Victor, heading quickly toward the door. 

“I’ll walk you out,” Victor says as he stands and walks to your side. Once Eli is out of earshot, he asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you say, trying to convince yourself as well as Victor. 

“Sorry about him. We still on for Tuesday?”

“Always. Don’t bring Eli, though?”

“Didn’t want to today. See you then.”

Last Night - Esquire Hotel

The hotel room has been quiet since Victor and Mitch left. Staring at the ceiling, you embrace the silence and avoid falling asleep.

“What did you do while Victor was in prison?” Sydney asks quietly from the neighboring bed. 

“I just lived a normal life,” you answer. “Finished my degree, got a job. I stayed in touch with him though; we wrote letters after he got out of solitary.”

“When did you join him and Mitch, then?”

“I knew he was going to break out. Happened to be in the neighborhood at the time and fought my way back into his life. It was easier than I thought it would be.”

Sydney took a few quiet breaths before asking, “Do you love him?”

You smile at the ceiling as you confess, “Yeah, I do, Sydney. I know we’ll never be more, but I love him regardless.”

“I think he loves you too,” Sydney whispers before falling asleep. 

You hope she’s right, although you’re content to have Victor anyway you can, as long as you have him. When Sydney’s breaths even out and grow quiet, you slip out of the bed and walk to the couch in the living area. 

You haven’t told anyone that you’re not sleeping. When the nightmares started, sleep seemed like a privilege rather than a necessity. No one knows about the repetitive dreams where Eli kills you. The nightmare has been the same for weeks, but every night you have it, it gets harder to wake up. Looking out the window, you wonder where Victor is and if he’s okay. 

“You okay?” Mitch asks as he walks inside, followed by a silent Victor. 

“Yeah. Everything go well?” You ask, turning toward them on the couch. 

“As well as it could. Goodnight.” Mitch walks down the hall, and your eyes meet Victor’s. 

“What’s going on?” Victor asks as he sits beside you, his arm resting across your shoulders as you lean into his side. 

“Nothing,” you lie. “Just couldn’t sleep not knowing if you’re safe.”

“Thanks for staying with Sydney.”

“It’s not a problem. She’s great.”

Victor grumbles like he doesn’t quite agree with you, and smiles as you elbow him. 

“Go get some sleep,” he whispers before standing. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight, Vic,” you respond, your heart racing at the pet name, no matter how many times he has used it. 

As Victor disappears down the hallway, it begins to rain, and the fight against sleep becomes impossible to win. 

Last Night - Merit

“Distance doesn’t matter?” Eli confirms. “Perfect. Because I don’t know where she is.”

“But you know who she is, right? Her name?”

“Of course I know her name. I have a feeling I know who she’s with, too.”

“Okay. Then let’s try this. What’s her name? And, any chance you have an idea what she’d be dreaming about?”

Eli smirks as he says your name. “And if I had to bet, she’s dreaming of Victor Vale.”

One Week Ago - Outside Merit

You haven’t slept in three days. The nightmares have become more violent, and waking up gets more difficult every time you close your eyes. Eli not only kills you, but now he hurts you first and threatens the people closest to you. Victor is always the first to be mentioned. You know it’s just a nightmare and more than that, you know you should tell someone. But Victor is too focused, Sydney would get far too upset, and Mitch would tell Victor, so you’re keeping it to yourself. Someone will die before you tell Victor: Eli or you.

Last Night - Merit

“It depends,” the EO answers slowly. “If she has a very good memory of what he looks like, yeah. But if not…”

“She knows what he looks like. We’ll be lucky if she’s not dreaming about him now,” Eli assures.

“So, you want to go in first. Then you want me to come in, disguised as her memories of…”

“Victor Vale, yes.”

“Say someone will stop you when you’re ready for me,” the EO says before gripping Eli’s shoulder and causing everything to grow dark.

“You got it,” Eli answers.

Eli blinks and suddenly finds himself in a dark room, a body strapped to an exam table as the person fights against the restraints. He gets close enough to see who it is and smiles, glad he decided not to kill this EO.

“If it isn’t Victor’s little friend,” he taunts as he walks further into the room.

You try to move away from him, but the straps hold your ankles and wrists firmly. Eli steps to the table, looming over you.

“I never understood why you went for Victor. I mean, I was right there.” You flinch as he rips a piece of tape from your mouth and demands, “Let’s hear it, what made Victor better than me?”

“For one he’s not a psychopathic serial killer with a god-complex,” you snap at him.

“Shh.” He brushes your hair out of your face as he shushes you and says, “Those rumors are so hurtful.”

“Rumors?! You tried to kill-”

His grip falls to your neck as you try to move again. “Silly,” he breathes lowly, “you can’t leave me this time.”

His hand leaves your neck as he runs his fingertips across your face, then down your shoulders and arms. He stops at your wrists and traces the straps holding you.

“I always thought you’d be able to come to your senses and see that I’m better. See that you should be with me. Victor is incapable of love; you’ll never get back what you’re giving him.”

“And you are capable of love? You’re crazy, Eli,” you counter.

“I am capable of more than you know,” he answers darkly. He looks at the wall and smiles as he looks back into your eyes to ask, “What do you think your friends would think if they saw us together?”

“I hope they’d kill us both,” you mumble.

“That can be arranged. Care to take us somewhere new?” Eli asks, smiling as the setting changes.

“You didn’t kill him,” you say. “You’re using him.”

“Oh, I planned to kill him,” Eli promises, faux sadness on his face. “But he made a counter-offer I couldn’t refuse.”

“What’s his power?”

“I’ll take this as confirmation Victor figured out my deal with the Merit Police Department.”

He looks to the side, and you turn your head to follow, gasping as you see Sydney asleep in the bed beside you. You don’t feel awake, but if he’s actually in your dream, he may be in hers too. To protect Sydney and Victor, you may have to play along with Eli’s delusions.

“Hey, I’m right here,” Eli says, framing your face with his hands as he directs your eyes back to his. “Your friends deserve to meet the guy worthy of your time, right? Then let’s give them a show,” he says as he traces his thumb over your lips.

He pushes you down against the bed and sits atop your thighs so you can’t get up. His hands hold your shoulders down as he smiles at you.

“I’ve dreamed of being with you since we met,” he admits.

“And killing me?”

He cocks his head and nods as he says, “That too. Anyone who can get close to Victor Vale has got to be a monster. I’m helping you, baby.”

“And who made it your job to kill monsters?”

Eli pulls a knife from his pocket, twirling it before pushing your shoulder down again, the blade flat between your skin and his.

“I’m going to make sure everyone knows that you are mine,” he growls, moving the knife off your shoulder. “Where should we start carving?”

You see Sydney move in your peripheral vision and hope she doesn’t wake up or join this dream. The knife is in the palm of your hand as you look back at Eli.

“Let everything you touch know whose you are,” Eli calls as he carves something into your palm. 

You bite your tongue to stop yourself from yelling. Eli’s knife drags up your arm, tiny dots of blood rising to the surface as he goes. As he moves it across your collarbones, he applies more pressure, leaving a long streak of blood.

“Maybe one above your heart?” he asks, balancing the tip of his knife against your shirt, directly over your heart. “Actually, we’ll save that for last.”

He moves the knife over the length of your torso, watching the blade rather than you.

“Eli,” you say through the pain.

“Yes, baby?” he responds, giving you his full attention. He drops the knife onto the bed beside you as he looks at your face.

“Can you take me someplace else? Where there’s no evidence of Victor?” you ask, trying to play into his delusion to get him away from Sydney and Victor.

“Where?” he asks, tilting his head.

“What about Lockland, where we met?”

“Where you met Victor?” he asks, his eyes darkening.

“No, no, I want to go back to where I met you.”

“Victor was there that day.”

“Then let’s find a place to make our own,” you say.

Eli leans forward, kissing you roughly as you cross your fingers that no one walks in. You kiss him back, trying to distract him as you move one leg out from underneath him. As he pulls back, he bites your lip harshly, adding to the amount of blood on your body.

“We’re not going to Lockland. We can find another place to be ours,” he says, swiping his thumb across your bloody lip.

He looks up suddenly, seemingly noticing that you are not alone in the room. “Clever girl,” he says, smirking down at you. “We’re not leaving now.”

Eli raises the knife and plunges it into your side. You yelp as it punctures your skin, then bite your tongue. Tears leak from your eyes, but you remain silent as you watch Sydney roll over. 

“Go back to sleep, Syd,” you beg, whispering under your breath.

“You’re much prettier when you’re bloody,” Eli praises as he traces your face with his finger.

“You won’t get away with this, Eli.”

“You mean I won’t get away with killing you either?” Eli asks, playing dumb. “Who will stop me?”

“You know who.”

“Me?” Victor asks as he pushes the door open and walks in.

“Vic,” you sigh, relieved that this nightmare is finally ending.

Victor approaches the bed and looks at you over Eli’s shoulder. “What did you do?” he asks.

“Made her prettier,” Eli answers with a shrug.

Eli holds your shoulders down as he stands. When you remain still, watching Victor, Eli releases his grip on you and steps back. Victor leans over and looks into your eyes.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“No problem. You are missing a few things, though. Eli was never as thorough as he should have been.”

“Victor? What are you doing?”

He picks up the knife and holds your shoulder, just as Eli had, before saying, “Finishing the art.”

“Victor, please,” you beg, tears streaming down your face.

“You’re pretty when you cry.”

“Please don’t do this.”

Victor doesn’t respond before the knife presses into your thigh, and you scream.

Last Night - Esquire Hotel

“Please wake up!” Sydney yells, shaking you, her current roommate and best friend.

She takes a few steps back, breathing heavily, and turns on the lamp. As the light turns on, Sydney notices blood on the sheets and starts to panic. The only time she’s woken Victor up, she was met with pain, but that doesn’t matter now. She runs to Victor’s room, crying as she enters.

“Victor,” she calls as she steps inside.

He sits up quickly, his pale brows furrowing as he sees Sydney breathing shallowly and crying. He jumps out of the bed and rushes to stand in front of her, holding her shoulders as he bends over to look into her eyes.

“What happened?” he asks.

“She- she-” Sydney stutters, unsure what to say. She’s covered in blood and not waking up? She looks… gone?

Victor immediately knows who Sydney is referring to: you. 

“Wake up Mitch,” Victor demands as he walks into the hallway. “And stay with him!”

Victor rushes into the bedroom you are sharing with Sydney, the blood immediately catching his attention. He gently pulls the blanket and the sheets down, noticing the number of wounds littering your body: your side, your leg, across your collarbones, and down one arm. As he checks the wounds, more begin to appear.

“Sweetheart, you have to wake up for me,” he says gently, raising a hand to your neck to check your pulse. Your heart rate is elevated but steady. When he feels you move under his hand, he whispers, “C’mon, wake up. Come back to me.”

Footsteps sound as someone walks down the hall, and Victor turns to see Mitch standing in the doorway, with Sydney peeking out from behind him. No new wounds were appearing, which could be good or bad, but Victor was more concerned with waking you up and stopping the bleeding.

“Get her out of here, Mitch,” Victor says as he looks back to you.

Mitch ushers Sydney back into the hallway, holding her as she cries.

“Sweetheart, don’t do this to me,” Victor whispers, fighting his own tears.

You move, and Victor’s head jerks to look at your face.

Last Night - Merit

“That was… exhilarating!” Eli cheers before collapsing on the couch, not even looking at the EO’s still body.

“Are you going to do something about him?” Serena asks, gesturing to the unconscious man in the chair across from her.

“As soon as he comes back,” Eli answers, pulling his gun from his pocket and laying it on the table.

“How’d it go?”

“Excellent. Should’ve seen her face when ‘Vic’ walked in.”

“Is he going to kill her?”

“Absolutely not. She needs to be there to watch Victor’s reckoning,” Eli answers.

The EO gasps as his eyes open, raising a hand to his racing heart as he says, “She fought me. She kicked me out of her mind because she knew I wasn’t him.” He looks at Eli and asks, “What didn’t you tell me?”

Serena flinches as the gun discharges the bullet, effectively silencing the rambling EO. Eli stares at the bloody wall behind him.

“I don’t know. Maybe our dear Victor Vale did his own experiments on her,” Eli finally answers.

“Or there’s more to her relationship with him and this guy messed up, so she knew it wasn’t real,” Serena offers. Eli rolls his eyes, and Serena demands, “Think about it.”

Last Night - Esquire Hotel

“It’s okay,” Victor soothes, pushing your hair out of your face, “we’re done for now.”

“Why are you doing this?” you ask through your tears.

“Because we have to, baby.”

Victor would never call you baby, and as you look at him, you realize you’re still asleep. You begin fighting to wake up, forcing yourself to open your eyes. The room around you grows darker and then disappears.

You blink, and you’re back in the room at the Esquire Hotel. Victor is kneeling beside the bed, staring at you, and Sydney’s bed is empty. You hear sobbing echoing in the hallway but don’t take your eyes off Victor as you move backward, away from Victor, tensing in pain.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Please,” you beg, allowing your eyes to close.

“Sweetheart,” Victor whispers.

You open your eyes and find his, noticing the tears on his waterline as he lays his hand on your bed, palm up.

“Vic?” you ask, unsure and uneasy.

“Yeah, I’m right here, sweetheart.”

You lunge forward, off the bed, and wrap your arms around his neck. You don’t care that you’re getting blood all over him, and he doesn’t seem to either as he wraps his arms around you and leans back.

“We need to stop the bleeding,” he says quietly in your ear as he brushes your hair back.

“Just one more minute?” you ask into his shoulder.

He nods against you and looks toward the door before dropping his forehead to your shoulder. It doesn’t seem like much time passes before he sits up and gently pushes you back.

“Can you sit back so I can look at you?” he asks gently, keeping a hand on the uninjured side of your waist as you lean back against the bed.

“Where’s Sydney?” you ask as he lifts your shirt to see the knife wound.

“In the other room with Mitch.”

“Is she upset?”

“Yeah. She came and got me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Other than the obvious pain you’re in, are you okay?” Victor asks.

“You’re numbing the pain,” you tell him with a small smile. “I’m as okay as I can be.”

You tell him about the dreams as he cleans and bandages your wounds. When you explain that this one was different and that a version of him was there, he clenches his jaw and stops touching you. 

“You’re the reason I woke up, Vic. Thanks for always calling me sweetheart,” you say, running your fingertips along his forearms, showing him you’re not scared of him.

As Victor helps you stand after finishing the last bandage, Sydney rushes into the room and hugs you, mindful of your injuries. While you assure her that you are okay, your hand begins to throb despite Victor’s numbing. You shake the hand and try to ignore the sensation, but you keep thinking about the feeling of Eli’s blade. When Mitch and Sydney go back to sleep, and Victor is busy improving one of his parents’ books, you peel the bandage back and see that there isn’t a mark on your hand.

Midnight - Falcon Price Project

Detective Stell takes Eli into custody while Victor hides in the shadows, watching. Mitch, Sydney, Dol, and Dominic left to find a safe place to wait before meeting everyone else. Somehow, all of the planning, all of the deaths, and all of the crazy plans worked out, and everyone made it out alive.

On your way to meet at the predetermined point, you pretend to be a distressed passerby and tell the police things about Eli that no random citizen should know. No one seems inclined to question how you learned this information. Serena is gone, and they’re willing to listen. As you answer a question, Eli is escorted past you and smiles when he locks eyes with you.

“You will be mine,” he growls.

Your hand suddenly begins bleeding at the sound of his voice, and you shove it into your pocket, escaping the construction lot and finding Mitch and Sydney. While you wait for Victor, you grip the inner lining of your jacket in a poor attempt to stop the bleeding.

“Everyone alright?” Victor asks as he approaches, the keys to a stolen SUV hanging from his fingers.

“Yeah,” you answer, along with Sydney, Mitch, and Dominic.

“Let’s go, then.”

As you step toward the sidewalk, Victor wraps his hand around your exposed wrist and pulls you into his chest. His arm wraps around your back as he looks down at you and asks, “Are you really okay?”

“I am. Are you?”

“I’m fine. Eli will get what’s coming to him.”

He moves his hand down your arm, freezing when he feels warm liquid pooling in your pocket. Looking into your eyes, he pulls your hand from your pocket.

“When did this happen?” he asks, ripping part of your jacket and wrapping it around your palm.

“It just started bleeding a few minutes ago, when Eli said something to me. But he cut it in the nightmare last night,” you answer.

“Vic, we need to go,” Mitch calls from the driver’s seat.

“Syd, get in the backseat,” Victor says as he helps you into the middle row and sits beside you.

The ride is silent as Mitch drives to a safe house Victor remembers from his time at Lockland. He checked the property records, and it was still abandoned, the perfect place to lay low. When Mitch parks in front of the old house, Victor pulls you out of the car before Mitch turns the ignition off. He finds a bedroom with an en suite and places your hand under the cold water as he digs around in the cabinets for a first aid kit.

“It’s an E, isn’t it?” you ask, looking at Victor. 

He doesn’t answer, wrapping your hand before pulling you into his chest and hugging you again. You cry in his arms before he leads you to the bed and pulls you to sit with him.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he says, rubbing your back. “I won’t let him hurt you again. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” you sniffle, looking down at your lap. “He- in the dream he said everything I touch will know I’m his. Then tonight he said I’d be his.”

Victor raises your chin with his finger, looking into your eyes as he says, “You’re not his. You’re not anyone’s. That’s your choice.”

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Vic,” Mitch says, standing in the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt. We’re short a bed.”

“You guys take what we have; we’ll figure something out,” Victor responds.

Mitch nods, and you send him a small smile as he walks out.

“I’ll go sleep on the couch,” you offer, standing up.

Victor doesn’t let you get up, his hands grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to him as he says, “Stay here.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Sweetheart, stay here.”

After - Somewhere Safe

The following morning, you wake up in Victor’s arms, the scent of waffles filling the room.

“Morning,” Victor says behind you.

“Good morning.”

As you exit the room to help Mitch with breakfast, Sydney waits in the hallway.

“Can I talk to you?” she asks quietly.

You nod and follow her down the hall, sitting on the bed in her temporary room as she closes the door.

“What do you want to talk about, Syd?” you ask as she joins you on the bed.

“My nightmares stopped,” she tells you.

“That’s good.”

“Have you- are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You smile and take one of her hands as you answer. “I was having nightmares too and something really weird happened with that one; Eli was actually in the dream, somehow. But my nightmares are gone now, too.”

“That night when you were dreaming, I tried to wake you up and you weren’t responding. Then I saw the blood and I was so scared,” she rambles, tears building in her eyes.

She hugs you, crying into your shoulder as you hold her, rubbing comforting circles on her back.

“I’m not going anywhere, Syd, I promise.”

You look up and see Victor standing in the hallway. You nod, telling him she’s okay, and he walks away.

“Can you do something with me today? Something normal,” Sydney asks as she pulls back.

“Name it.”

“Make cookies?”

You smile as you say, “Of course.”

Victor and Mitch leave to tie up loose ends, so you spend the afternoon with Sydney. You bake cookies, make hot chocolate, and watch cheesy movies. She seems like a new person at the end of the day, hugging you goodnight and walking down the hall as you finish the dishes.

After you put the last dish away, you walk back to the living room to sleep on the couch. 

You don’t notice Victor standing in the doorway until he asks, “What are you doing?”

You jump, ignoring his smile. You answer, “Sleeping on the couch.”

“No. Let’s go,” Victor says before turning and walking away.

You follow him into the bathroom, sitting on the counter and watching his face as he peels the bandage off your hand. He tells you it looks better before replacing the dressing with a new one. Your eyes stray to your palm while he works, the clear ‘E’ a permanent reminder. You sniff as you suppress a sob, tired of crying and feeling weak.

“Sweetheart?” Victor asks, halting his movements as he looks into your eyes.

“It’s always going to be there, Vic. I can’t get away from him. Since the day I met Eli, he’s been…” you trail off as you remember everything you kept from Vic: Eli’s unwelcome touches, his constant advances, and how scarred you are (inside and out) from the nightmares.

“What did he do?” Victor asks quietly. You shake your head, so Victor raises your hand, half-bandaged, to his lips, gently kissing your knuckles as he says, “You’re not tied to him. You’re better than him, and you’re strong enough to overcome this; all of it.”

“Do you remember that day I met him in the cafeteria?”

“Yeah. You had the good sense to get out of there.”

“He touched me. Sat way too close and put his hand on my leg.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Victor asks, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand.

“I thought he was your friend and didn’t want to ruin that. Every time I saw him after that he asked me out or made an advance of some kind. I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“You couldn’t have known, Vic. It’s fine. I dealt with it the best I could. At least now I know why he did it.”

“Why?” Victor asks, stepping closer as he moves his hand to your waist.

“He thought I was yours. He couldn’t stand the thought of you having something to care about, to care for you. He can’t care about or love anyone, so he didn’t want to either.”

“He thought I cared about you, so he tried to take you for himself to get you away from me? I didn’t know he had that kind of… anything,” Victor repeats before saying something under his breath and squeezing your waist gently.

You look at him with furrowed brows, silently asking what he said.

He sighs before whispering, “He was right.”

“You did care about me?”

“Do care. More than care. You’re the only thing I’ve ever loved.”

You smile at him before leaning forward and kissing him, your hands raising to his jaw as his arms wrap further around your waist, pulling you closer. You pull back to catch your breath, and Victor returns his attention to your hand.

“I can take the physical pain, no problem. But all I can do for the other pain is be here for you.”

You flinch away from him as your hand begins throbbing again. Victor turns the dial in his head, but your face stays pinched in pain. Pulling your hand back, you remove the bandage and look at your hand before looking up at Victor. You slip your wrist and show him the clear skin across your palm.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” you say.

“I can’t. Something else must have happened.”

“The EO?”

“Eli wouldn’t have kept him alive this long.”

You nod as you look back at your hand, curling and uncurling your fingers with no pain. Victor smiles before lifting you from the counter, setting you on your feet, and directing you to the bed. He kisses you once more before you go to sleep.

When you wake up before Victor, you walk out onto the balcony and enjoy the quiet morning, hopefully, the first of many. A warm chest presses against your back, and you lean against him, Victor’s arms circling your waist as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“Morning, sweetheart,” he greets, kissing your neck.

“Good morning,” you respond, turning in his arms to properly kiss him.

You pull back when the door opens, and someone gasps, your eyes meeting Sydney's as she asks, “When did this happen?!”

“Last night,” Victor grumbles. “Do you mind?”

You lightly slap his arm, and his eyes stay on yours as he apologizes. 

“About time!” Sydney cheers as she walks back inside, Dol following.

Mitch walks by the door and smiles as he agrees with Sydney, looking at you to say, “I told you.”

“Told you what?” Victor asks.

“He said you care about me,” you answer.

“I said you were in love with each other!” Mitch yells from inside.

You smile at Victor as you confirm, “I’ve been in love with you since Lockland.”

“I’ve been in love with you since I laid eyes on you,” Victor responds.

He kisses you again, and you feel complete, even if your situation is viciously weird.

[tangarang]

So any word of Coupon Kids or are you unsure/trying to keep quiet about it for right now? I like quat's redesign. It's more visually distinct than the original.

tldr: I am trying to pick back up on Coupon Kids, reworking the story (yeah , the actual story) with a lot more intention! Idk how long it will take, but just know that I'm taking it seriously.

If you want the LONNGGG story of it, here it is!

Last time we left off in the comic, I was in quarantine with my niece and sister! I was helping to raise my niece so my sister could get out of a horribly abusive relationship. I was a full time nanny which was tough! Cause I had to still make rent from home on commissions, but no one was buying them because we all became RLY RLY poor all at once.... go figure.

I turned to Coupon Kids for support because umm I was kinda fucked tbh 6_6. I had run out of money and had no time to make more, but I SQUEEEZED out the last of the Halibut Jones arc! (which, even at the time of completion, I knew it was an underwhelming piece of work, but I finished it and I'm proud I did!) Thanks to everyone's support, I had enough financial padding that I could rely on Patreon's passive income and refocus on supporting my sister/niece as well as plan to make the move down south to continue my schooling once the quarantine let up. So thats where I had left the comic for the time being in terms of story, with a sprinkle of short strips here and there, but nothing plot related, because the plot was horribly fucked right from the get-go.

I had to take multiple severe hiatuses with Coupon Kids because I got my ass handed to me on several accounts through ought. Horrible breakup, friend break up, severe mental illness, best friend got cancer, best friend died, quarantine, unexpected parenthood, gallbladder disease, then school. All the while Coupon Kids was something I made in the deepest pits of my depression.

I absolutely hated my self, my work, and my art. That all looped back to being a strange source of peace for me to make stuff w/o fear of judgement. No one could hate Coupon Kids as much as I did. I was the #1 Coupon Kids hater and I ruined it by making it. (this is a retrospective pov obv... I dont think my work is worthless anymore thx wellbutrin lol)

Coupon Kids was very liberating to write in that I had no standards, but the lack of structure kinda eventually lead to its own downfall once I started to get better. I had a very loose idea of what I wanted the story to be, but I was so disoriented by chemical imbalance and weed (I smoked SOOO much weed) I didn't rly care about the ending because tbh I thought I was gonna be dead before I got anywhere near the ending. But then Kira died, So I officially abstained myself from death's sexy loins and committed myself to giving life another go.

Sorry for the autobio dump: its kinda hard to convey Coupon Kids development w/o getting into the nitty gritty of what I was going through at the time of making it. The point is this: I made Coupon Kids with the intention of it being a stain on my legacy- but then I ended up loving the stain and it's inhabitants. Its made coming back to it difficult, because I want to put genuine effort in it but that clashes with it's overall tone. Instead of creating in spite, I'd like to create it in celebration of my artistic short comings and to do that is to completely rework the entire moral of the story and all of the characters. If I'm gonna do it right, I'd like to take my time.

Not sure how many people made it to the end of this one! Sorry I'm so quiet about my process. tbh the last 4 years have been the best of my life despite holding a lot of dread. I'm doing a lot better now and am really excited to work on what I love and be grateful I have the power to do so ! So thank you for reading if you are still interested, it means a lot!

[jeanralphiosbf]

lore dump!!!

ship: jr² (jean-ralphio x jerome-reyes aka meee)

source: parks and recreation

words: 3k so far but this is still a wip so ,,

2x13 the set up- we meet when he visits the office to apply to be ron's assistant. after ron declines, jean hangs around tom/leslie's office a bit bc he's bored or whatever. i go in to get smth from leslie's part of the office and tom introduces us n we meet 🤝🤝 he's prob instantly intrigued by me bc i look #cool with my dyed hair. and i think he's Just Some Guy DKSNHS. heprobably thinks i'm cute or whateverrrr 🙄🙄

between 2x13 to 2x23 he likes to stop by the office n chat with tom and since i'm at the office a lot we'd see e/o, before he leaves he always talks to me for a bit. he sometimes asks tom if i'm around (he def does this more in s3) bc he wants to see me (but he doesn't say that) ,, btwn these 10 eps we'd get closer but like.. we're almost friends… like we're so close there but i'm just awkward and very much keep to myself so he just has to slowly pry my shell open so we get more buddy w one another.

2x23 the master plan - tom would rope me in with him & jean to help set up april's birthday party at the snakehole lounge. yk jean doesn't rly help w anything wGKSN but he def hangs around me (follows me like a puppy lol) and talks to me (annoys me). during this ep jean's constantly flirting with april (which she only lets slide bc she wants to make andy jealous) but i think he wouldn't even be into her. methinks he perhaps is already crushing on me (or at least is already into me and wants to know me better ykwim. which is gona take a while bc i <3 being mysterious and i'm so bad at talking to ppl and only answer when someone directly asks me things. #autism #oppositesattract #slowburn) but he feels he might not have a shot with me so he flirts w her to keep his mind off me idk whateverrr (⬅ lore i've thought of for a year but never added here for whatever reason). i find them being together so much odd but i just shrug it off like Ok. that's a thing i guess. anyways hbd april <3 fsNHS. anywaysanyways whenever he's away from her he's trying to find me (i am easy to find. partly bc dyed hair also i would just be by the bar or hanging awkwardly around ppl i know like a lost child) so we can talk more. uhmm yeah.

3x7 harvest festival - by here, we're friends :3 i help setting up the harvest festival (naturally), and jean visits once it's all up and running. 40% he comes bc it seems fun then 60% bc he wants to see me (and annoy me) hehe. we're def playing all the games there and having competition's on who's better (anytime i lose i say it's rigged and he laughs) and after i lose a couple times he feels bad and gives me some teddy bear he won to make up for it. we're absolutely going thru that corn maze, i manage to navigate thru it pretty well meanwhile he's of no help (of course) and he just watches me lol. we go on that ferris wheel (i'm internally dying bc hhh close contact makes me crazey so i keep a respectable distance but he loves being close to anyone and doesn't know what personal space is so he unintentionally scoots closer and maybe our knees brush and our shoes touch. but it's whateverr) and when we get to the top he tries to take a picture of the view and succeeds and then he tries to take a selfie of us and nearly drops his phone (i of course laugh at him)

3x9 andy & april's wedding - uhm not much to say here for this ep. jean visits andy n aprils wedding to help tom make a best man speech and they prob consult me on it (for whatever reason idk) and i'm just like 'oh wow that's Awful. Please use it' fSHNK and then we're all bummed when tom doesn't get time to say his speech. wish i had more to say for this ep uhh me and him just hang in the kitchen watching the wedding c: when mouse rat starts performing and everyone starts coupling up and dancing he prob drags me to dance with him (i'm the closest person to him it doesn't mean anything) (also he still does this even tho i'm like umm actually lets Not do that 😀-) (i overthink it and get confused bc some ppl are dancing slowly so i'm just . ??? and place my hands on his shoulders and he laughs and is like nooo no not that kind of dancing and i want to explode)

3x13 the fight (my 2nd fav ep wooo) - we're close friends atp :33 i'm sitting w tom at a table and jean comes over to chat. during this ep jean constantly makes raps with ppl's names but just can't end them on a rhyme, so. Obviously. he tries to make one out of my name. he fails miserably and i'm like "....well i do have two first names, so you can try one with 'reyes'. ykno, maybe you can redeem yourself" and he does and fails again and me and tom are like "that's worse... How is that Worse" WKEHSJG. i feel like at some point i'd just be vibing by myself at a booth and he comes over n talks to me. everyone in this ep is so Out There (mainly cus they're drunk lol) and i'm just very To Myself (just in general but esp so at a club. which is not my normal environment-) and he tries to get me to have fun/be outgoing. 100% he drags me to the dancefloor (despite me saying i do not want to do that. also he clarifies he doesn't mean dance as in slow dance and he makes fun of me for trying to slow dance with him that one time and i'm just like '😐😐🙄🙄 Can you Shut Up. i hate you' but he just finds it funny. he looves annoying me) . also i just realized i would have to not only deal w everyone being drunk (i'm the only sober one along w chris and donna) but i'd have to deal w jean being drunk.. and he's a sad drunk (or at least with snakejuice he is)... g-dwjgsdhj. i'm just sitting at the bar on my phone and he comes up like heyyy *insert stupid nickname he makes up for me here* my man hows it going and we chat which quickly turns into him just randomly discussing abt his parents unhappy marriage and how he's secretly insecure and feels so lonely etc KWGNSJD and then i'm just stuck with him. i can't be bothered to write anymore but i def comfort him it's just a tad awkward (for me). idk if he'd even remember it bc of how drunk he is but if he does he'd appreciate it. i'd tell donna (who drives everyone who's drunk home) to text me when she gets him home and the next day i'd text him saying i hope he's feeling better. or whatever. omg idc

3x16 li'l sebastian - so during this ep jean tries to convince tom to join him and create entertainment 720 (multimedia conglomerate... they literally do the same stuff as waystar royco, but they don't Actually do it cus they're so bad at their jobs lmao), while also working on the memorial for li'l sebastian together. i would be helping them w the video presentation that happens later that night (i'd also help with smaller stuff for preparing the memorial). tom is off discussing plans with someone else and while jean and i work he talks abt entertainment 720, and how they'd need video editors and suggests i could work w them. i say i'm totally down for it and that it sounds fun and at the end of the episode when they create the company i work there with/for them :3

entertainment 720 time !!!! lowkey best era bc it starts best friendism + mutual pining (i finally like him lol) + has all my frens yay. i don't have anything for Specific e720 eps besides 4x6 so i shall just dump all the lil behind-the-scenes-esque stuff here

i already mentioned what the company does a little bit, but basically they create/produce media. except tom and jean are incapable of running a business so they.. immediately kill it within two - maybe three ish months and go bankrupt wHKSNH. anyways, majority of their workload is doing like.. animal memorial videos. tom Actually knows how to edit and he's capable of Working- whereas canonically jean doesn't know a single thing abt editing. which is where i'd come in and give him a 101 on premiere. he absolutely is notttt paying attention, instead just looking at me (like that simmosa scene from superstore) and looking away whenever i glance at him. i set a project up together to show him everything and i let him try it out and he deletes shit on purpose to get on my nerves n whatnot lmao (<- likely end credits scene).

i stay after work a Lotttt. i'm a perfectionist and as soon as i finish one commission i start another (i'll have less to do the next day ok it makes sense <3). anytime i work late, he stays behind bc he doesn't want me to be alone. he also insists on driving me home instead of letting me take an uber ("it's safer!!"). the office is filled with tons of games bc no one there does any work lol- there's sections for golfing, video games/an xbox, pool, etc etc. when it's like 11pm and we're still at the office and he notices i've not taken a break for a while he would literally drag my chair away from my desk so i can either get some rest n take a nap on one of the 800 chairs/couches they have for whatever reason or he drags me to play one of the 30 games the office has with him. we'd play pool where we're both pretty bad at it lol like at best our high scores are 2-3 (either way)- i'm rusty and don't play it often so i'd maybe be struggling trying to remember how to Play The Game but he's like Hey dw i can teach you 😁 and gets behind me and puts his hands on mine and helps me with positioning the first shot while explaining the rules (we prob make up our own rules tho bc. of course) (he absolutely does this to flirt [but i don't catch on]. which frankly he shouldn't be doing since he's my boss wHKSKN he's soo lucky they don't have hr).

i know for a fact they have a x box too we'd aaabsolutely play that during late nights at the office. they'd probably have gta n stuff on there but i Knowww they'd have the Batman: Arkham Asylum and Arkham City games i feel it in my bones (i only say these two bc this season takes place in 2011-2012 and those are the only ones released of the franchise). he/tom prob got them bc they see batman and go 'oh yeah he's pretty cool'… they've probably played like 40 minutes at best bc they're not that good at fighting lol. we turn the system on one day and i scroll thru the library and get jsjldjnsg!!!! over seeing them in there and he's Intrigued and we talk abt it a lil bit and decide to play the games (i play and he commentates) and now that's like a thing we progress on anytime we're the only ones at the office and he Actually gets invested in it. he asks tons of questions abt all the characters n stuff and lets me infodump and finds it cute ghhhhhhh (also mayhaps feels a Lil bit jealous whenever i'm running around in-game to get all of the riddler trophies and infodumping abt eddie and giggling anytime he talks in-game bc i love him and he's my fav hehe)

wait sorta same vein but he'd also see me and ben talking during lunch breaks or smth abt dc or star wars (our shared special interests) and having lengthy discussions abt it and jean notices and also mayyybe feels a bit jealous over that too. so later he googles like Less Know DC Facts n stuff and next time he sees me he Casually drops them in conversation to try to impress me 😭 (he gets some of them wrong tho and i have to kindly be like '…….ok i hate to do this but actually-')

4x6 end of the world (aka my fav ep hehe) - this is the ep where Unfortunately e720 dies wHKSNG, bUT on the bright side it is also the ep where we become canon <3 at some point during the party jean texts lucy (tom's ex) to come to the party and they both reconcile/it's implied they get back together. i feel like after he sort of sets them up he decides he wants to confess to me. edit!: i believe the marching band bit is after the tomlucy stuff.....and during the marching band bit jean wears a pink/black uniform ..which are my favorite colors (and literally my hair color) 🤨🤨he could not be any less subtle (but i'm so oblivious i don't even think twice abt it.. i'm just like oh haha what a coincidence :D).....ok anyways. i'm hiding away in the pirate ship bouncy castle, just like.. in a corner on my phone. vibing. (<- one thing about me is i will be in a corner at a party) he eventually finds me and we just sit together talking. i go on a tangent about thanking him and tom for this opportunity and how fun it was to work w them (even tho they barely worked lmao) and get closer w them and blah blah blah. he's quiet during this but it's not like a bad quiet. like he's just rly listening. when i finally shut up he agrees w like. everything i said and just adds onto it. he says he really enjoyed my company and i'm like yeah :> same here and there's just a silence (tension? 🤔) for a min while we just sit together skhDNG i start to talk abt smth and he just. kisses me. and i'm frozen wsDKH he thinks my reaction is negative so he starts to apologize so i'm like ??!?!?! i'm trying to talk but i can't get the words out (i am v awkward lol) but eventually i do and i'm like "!???! NO NEEd to apologizE!! i mean i uhh i like you. too. so. yeah. There..?!? i mean.. If that kiss meant you like me?? which i hope it does? i mean it'd be kinda weird to do that if you Didn't like me??? do you?-" (bAsically i'm a mess) and he's like ! Yes! and we talk it out and we. start dating. Yeah. (ermmmmmm just had a thought . he asks if he can kiss me again bc that first kiss wasn't a ~real~ kiss and i'm like 'um. i mean Yeah. but like. i don't really know How? to kiss?? well i mean i know How, like i watch movies..but i don't know Howww to kiss?' and he just teaches me how to kiss lmaowgsjhhkn ALL WHILE? IN A BOUNCY CASLTE THAT ANYONE CAN WALK IN ON. THAT ALSO HAS WINDOWS LMAOSGJNHok anyways. um. he teaches me and we're laughing and giddy . and we kiss. like for reals. ummm and he's like i wanted to do that for a whilewrkhnjhlICNAT ICANT DO THISim done goodbye oh my g-d)

ummmm during the rest of s4 we're secretly dating. i do have some lore for some eps post-getting-together but iiii don't feel like properly writing them down so. another day <3

i don't know Where but somewhere in season 5 we become public. no one is surprised wKHDNS except like.. ann and leslie. they're surprised for sure. esp leslie like it takes a whileeee for them to warm up to us together wlgdjhn

7x11 two funerals - ik this is like. a huge jump episode wise lol but i'll get around to writing lore for previous episodes at another point. anyways, s7 starts with a time jump, it's now 2017. which means in-universe, we've been together forrr six to seven ish years. during this ep tom's trying to figure out how to propose to lucy who's visiting pawnee again, and one of his ideas is to make a lil action movie short. he goes to a jewelry shop and shoots it. tom, leslie and jean are all in it while i'm the cameraman. during it tom's like.. this hero and jean's some villain and he has henchmen lol and they all fight. during it jean gets injured and gets.. slammed through a glass container with jewelry in it and hurts his back 😭 the afterward's not shown but i'd make sure he's alright and soothe him 3:

later during the ep tom decides to propose to lucy at the snakehole lounge, and jean and leslie are there trying to hype him up. i'm not in this scene but it's still important lore wise- jean and leslie watch the proposal from afar and talk abt how sweet it was. at this point, since we've been together for so long, jean's been thinking about getting me a promise ring. he tells leslie about it, thinking this is the best moment to bring it up. their relationship togethers been rocky since at first she really couldn't stand him lol but she grew to like him and think he's good for me. jean basically gushes abt me and it's rly sweet. he prob shows leslie the various rings he was thinking abt hehe (he settles on matching ones like these. i have the black one and he has the silver one :3c)

that's all i've got for now :D

[1waveshortofashipwreck]

I told you i was gonna be here

Names Alexi, He/Him, INFP-T, love languages are physical affection and words of affirmation, my hobbies include: writing (actually trying to now), drawing, and playing the saxophone, some of my goals are to get into college to become a teacher, some my interests are history, animals and dinosaurs, what i look for in a partner is someone who is funny, can keep up with my chaos and just an all around fun time, but they understand my issues that i deal with (specifically my anger and my self-esteem), and smth that can be taken accounted for, i'm 5'5, and you can use any of the guys idk rlly care, hope this makes sense

Aaaaaaa thank you so much for the ship request Alexi!!!!! You’re amazing 🥺❤️💖 (Also thank you so much for your patience lol)

So this one came to me surprisingly quick but honestly it just fits!!

I ship you with….

Don Malarkey!!

A song from my Liked Songs that reminds me of y’all - Best Day of My Life by American Authors

How y’all met

So picture this - it’s Don and Alton in the motorcycle, living their best lives

You’re walking home from the store just vibing and daydreaming

Until ZOOOM they almost hit you and you get knocked on your ass

Of course they immediately pull over and Don just SPRINTS over to you

Don kneels next to you and makes sure you’re okay but when he makes eye contact with you for the first time he’s just

🥺🥺🥺

Completely and utterly smitten

“Can I walk with you the rest of the way? Let me carry your bag to make up for what just happened!”

Of course how can you say no to Baby Boy so of course you hand your backpack over to him and y’all start walking together and talking

There’s just an instant connection y’all can’t stop laughing and talking about everything under the sun, eventually, he subtly takes your hand in his for the rest of the way

Both of y’all are super sad when you get to your place

Don just looks at you with the sweetest eyes and goes “I’d love to see you again”

Y’all start just taking walks together almost every day and Muck and Penkala are so tired of just HOW MUCH Don talks about you, like sweet boy can’t get you out of his mind

How he knew he loves you

Ok so y’all are out to dinner and you notice fucking soBEL LIKE WTF H O W

But you and Don just look at each other and you both know you’re about to cause some CHAOS

So y’all hatch this perfect prank on Sobel

Long story short Sobel is covered in chocolate sundae and the two of you are running away from the restaurant laughing your asses off

Don just looks at you and… your laugh, your smile, how you two just work so well together

He tells you right then and there how much he loves you

Both of you just feel so overwhelmed with the feeling of like I Found My Person

You share a kiss and it's simultaneously so gentle but so passionate

Everything in that moment is just perfect

A conflict in your relationship and how y’all resolved it

Ok so I see it happening with you and Don are out with Muck and Penkala

The three of them are being themselves and laughing together

You were for a while but then your Social Battery dies

So of course you lean over to Don

“Hey babe, can we please go home?”

“Yeah in a minute love” he quickly replied before getting back to Muck and Penkala

…That's the third time he's said that

So you get frustrated and just walk out on your own and start walking home

Your intrusive thoughts start getting the better of you… did he really wanna spend time with you? Is he tired of you??

You're so swept up in your thoughts you don't hear Don running after you

“Love? What happened? Where’re you going??” poor boy is Genuinely Confused

Which you’re not sure if that makes things better or worse

Either way, you didn’t want him to see that you were hurt, so you turned it into anger

“What do you fucking want?” You turn around and shoot at him

He just has this hurt puppy look as he goes “What happened??”

“Just leave me alone” you try to keep walking but you feel him grab your arm and turn you around

“Please tell me what I did and I’ll do everything I can to make it better” Don just puts a hand on your cheek and his eyes are searching yours, begging for an answer

You see the concern and love in his eyes and you just break

Sobs wrack your body as Don hugs you tight, just being there for you while you let it all out

After a little bit you’re able to get out that you just felt ignored and that he preferred Muck and Penkala to you and he just

He realizes what he did and just places his forehead on yours

“My love, I’m so, so sorry… I should never have done that, we should’ve just gone home the first time you asked… how can I make it up to you??”

You just smile and ask, “...can we go home?”

Don just smiles and sweeps you up, carrying you the rest of the way to your place

… Muck and Penkala stayed waiting for you and Don to come back assuming that y’all just went to the bathroom

Your Happily Ever After

Most wholesome relationship known to man

Like this man will do ANYTHING to see you smile

You mention physical touch is your love language?

He’s making sure to have an arm around you, his hand on your back, giving you kisses ALL THE FREAKING TIME LIKE STOP IT'S GROSS BUT CUTE

He also just feels so comfortable and safe with you

Like the fact that y’all’s chaotic energies just blend so perfectly, he knows he won’t scare you away and it’s the best feeling in the world

Also he will listen to you talk about animals and dinosaurs for HOURS

Not only does he just love the sound of your voice but just how much you know it’s amazing to him

You wind up teaching him so much it’s basically like your first time being a teacher and Don’s the student and it’s the Best

A silly headcanon about your relationship

Y’all prank each other all day every day and it’s too cuTE

(obviously done with tact like if one of you is going through a rough patch of course a truce is declared)

But like

Powder in the hair dryer? Check; plastic wrap in the hallway? Check!

One of the best ones was when you gave Don a homemade candy apple

He took a GIANT bite

‘Twas an onion

He’s still plotting the perfect way to get you back…

Thank you again Alexi!! Hope you like it 🥺💖💕

[2myl0ver]

☾ 1 step forward, 3 steps back // byun euijoo

genre : angst / wc : 715 / tw : asshole reader, not a happy ending lol, cursing / masterlist / song : olivia rodrigo

♫ never doubted myself so much, like am I pretty or am I fun, girl? cuz it's always 1 step forward, and 3 steps back. do you love me? want me? hate me? girl, I don't understand. ♫

euijoo keeps his head low, leaving the practice room while on their break, he hears kei following him before he even speaks up. "hey, what's on your mind? is this about taki eating your ice cream in the fridge because if it is I already scolded him for that." euijoo lets out a breathy laugh before responding "no. it's not that, it's just y/n's been so distant recently. I feel like I'm not satisfying them and, it's making me dance sloppy and forget the dance. it's stressing me out, I don't know what I did wrong." he says, still keeping his head down. "hey," kei places his palm on euijoos shoulder, "it's okay. I'm sure they just had a bad day or something, maybe they're stressed too. I think you should be there for each other. you should talk to her so you can understand her better a she can understand you better." euijoo finally raises his head, "yeah. you're right, hyung. I'll go talk things out with her." he smiles.

♫ I kinda find it all exciting like, which lover will I get today? will you walk me to the door or send me home crying? ♫

"hi baby <3 can we talk? there's a cafe nearby, we can talk there!" he typed out.

ding !

"hi, yea sure. but make it quick, I have to go meet up with jay soon" read the words on his screen, his smile quickly fades upon seeing the name "jay".

"who's jay?" he asked, while walking to the cafe. "wow, so I can't have male friends anymore? get off my fucking back euijoo. stop being so fucking possessive, maybe if you stopped caring so much about who I'm with you'd actually improve your dances and be a better leader." tears form in his eyes in the middle of reading your message, he decides to stop before his tears spill out.

he arrives at the cafe and approaches your table. "hi. you were quick." he tries to lighten the mood, "can we get this over with? what did you wanna talk about?" you say, afraid of keeping jay waiting.

"w-well, I've been noticing that you haven't been the brightest recently and I just wanted to ask if there was anything I can do to make you feel better o-or if you wanna talk about it." euijoo says, concerned. "you really made me go here for this? you could've asked me this over text. I'm fine, euijoo."

"b-but-" you cut him off, "stop doing that, you keep stuttering. just get it out before I get out of here."

"I just thought we could talk about it.. you've been so distant recently and it's really effecting me. j-just please tell me what I-" he's cut off by his sobs, by this point other tables are whispering about the both of you, heads turned towards your direction. "please tell me what I did wrong, I'll change. I promise, I will. just tell me what it is.." euijoo sobs, while other people in the cafe start to feel bad for him, finally understanding what happened between you and him.

he reaches out his arms to hold your hand on the table, and you pull your hands away. "no, please.." he says, barely over a whisper while shaking his head. before he knew it, you stood up and left.

♫ it's one step forward and three steps back, I'm the love of your life until I make you mad ♫

euijoo walks back to the dorms with tears in his eyes, just hoping nobody sees him. once he enters the dorm, kei and nicholas see's him and immediately asks him what happened.

"I don't know, t-they were upset and- I just.. I don't know. they went to see someone named jay or something, whoever that is." he sniffs.

"oh euijoo.." nicholas says. "it's okay, euijoo." kei hugs him and is soon followed by nicholas

♫ no, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong? it's back and forth, going over everything I said. ♫

© 2myl0ver Copyright 2023. Do not copy, repost, or translate without my permission. ♡ ︎and ↻ are very much appreciated !

a/n : I took inspiration from someone do this with enhypen members where they give every enha member a song from the sour album but it was months ago and I don't remember who it is anymoree 😭 if yk what im talking about pls lmk 🫶