#i. meta: the triumvirate.

[sleepymccoy]

Two thirds of a whole

“Your report indicated that you spent some time with the other Spock.”

“He was a strange man to meet,” McCoy muttered, sinking into a chair hesitantly.

“Tell me about him,” Spock invited, filling their glasses.

McCoy leant on the table and raised a hand. “Now, I don't want to sound egotistical, but the only change I know of was my not being on the Enterprise.”

“It is not egotistical to report your observations.”

McCoy smiled. “You might be wanting to take that back shortly, we'll see if I let you.”

Spock's gaze flashed to him. A strange expression passed his face, softer than most Spock let through when he was in control of himself, then he seemed to make a decision and looked at McCoy squarely. “Tell me,” he repeated.

“Well, he was lonely,” McCoy said simply. “He and their Jim weren't friendly. You- they weren't arguing or any sort, just not friendly. Jim was thinner too, more professional and detached. Broke my heart a bit. He did too.”

“He being the other Spock,” Spock clarified.

“Yeah.” McCoy pulled the water glass over and pressed it against his bourbon glass, feeling the grating tension of glass on glass in his fingers. “Didn't get along a lick with anyone on board. Didn't offer comments or defend his opinions beyond the bare minimum. He just worked, then went to his room and stayed there.”

“He sounds like a better Vulcan than I.”

McCoy glared at Spock. “You're the better man,” he shot back. Then, before Spock could disagree on principle, he continued. “He was sad, Spock, miserable and lonely! The way he latched onto me at the end there, you…” he sighed. “Ah, I dunno.”

Spock's eyebrow raise was enough of a response to keep McCoy talking.

“I don't know,” McCoy said carefully, “what he was getting out of me that no one else gives. I'd like to understand.”

“You are asking what benefit I find in knowing you?”

McCoy grit his teeth. “I suppose.” He drank. “You’re allowed to kick me out.”

Spock crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair. “It is a simple enough answer,” he said. “You are the antithesis of Vulcan logic. You exemplify the most challenging type of human interaction I could have - that is, one whose argument is based in emotion and unmoving. But you explain yourself well, and have improved my comprehension of the convoluted decision making processes humans take.”

“Huh,” McCoy said. He drank.

“Additionally- ”

“There's more?”

Spock ignored him. “- you take time to point out when I am culturally insensitive. Many simply take offense, but you communicate it. Often, you communicate it excessively. Perhaps this other Spock lacked your early tutelage and suffered for it. Although, I must add, Vulcan intimacy is far more impersonal than human and perhaps he is pleased with his relationships on board. Knowing no other.”

“He kissed me like he was dying.”

Spock's hand lurched, knocking against his water glass. It didn't tip over, they had broad bases in case of turbulance, but it shook from the impact.

McCoy went quiet and drank his bourbon.

“Where did he kiss you?” Spock asked at a whisper.

McCoy looked at the table top. Real wood, Spock was more of a sensualist than he admitted. “On the mouth, Spock, how dirty d'you think I am?”

“I mean- so, he kissed you in the human way?”

Spock's hands were balled into tight fists. His eyes were wide, his cheeks green. He was quite still.

“Yeah, I hadn't considered that,” McCoy said, trying with all his might to sound unaffected and like they were discussing lab results. He remembered the feeling of Spock’s fingers in his mouth. “He was good at it too, wonder where he learnt it.”

Spock waved his hand absently. Those fingers… “Before I met you,” he muttered. “Wait. You allowed it to continue long enough to tell? Were you willing?”

“I was surprised at first, but, Spock, there’s something about you- ”

Spock stood, his chair scraping back loudly.

“God, don't hit me,” McCoy muttered, “you're really strong.”

---

This fic is complete now! If you enjoyed the snippet you'll enjoy the rest of the shenanigans they get up to <3

[druidx]

The Council Tower of Torguard

Torguard's Council Tower is the central base of government within the city-state.

The building itself is constructed mainly from white marble, golden granite, and glass, and was produced by mixing the talents of Human inspiration, Elven fabrication magic and Dwarven engineering. This diagram is representative of the third¹ time of rebuilding, and as such includes the drop shaft where levitation mages ferry bureaucrats up and down the many levels of the tower.

The city's government is headed by what's known as the Triumvirate: The Commander-in-Chief, the Arch-Magus, and the Exchequer. At time of writing, these positions are chaired by General Johan Strucker, Thazar Clayrmantle (after Selene Fridwake stepped down), and Mr Thatcher (after Reginald Striker was killed by the Firre explosion)².

There is also a special executive exclusion held by a mysterious entity known as the Emissary, whose power comes not from internal meritocratic advancement nor is an elected position. Instead this individual's power is enshrined by the dragon, Drakemar, who's funding allowed Torguard to regain her feet after the Balor, Yagrin, opened the Hellmouth and razed the city.

After these main positions, the council is comprised of approximately³ 100 mixed elected & meritocratic positions, broken down as:

20 Religious representatives

35 Guildheads

10 Trade guildheads

20 elected City District representatives

15 other various elected representatives & interested parties

Each of these representatives holds an office somewhere in the tower, and they meet with reasonable regularity in the main council chamber at the top of the tower.

As may be expected there are many other bureaucratic positions to be filled, such as sanitation and infrastructure, which take up the rest of the tower's office space.

While there are other outposts around the city walls, the majority of military activity is consigned to the tower's lowest levels: training facilities, barracks, stables, etc. This is because in the event of a dire emergency, the island on which the tower sits on can be cut off from the rest of the city.

--- ¹ Firstly, after the city was consumed by a Hellmouth; Secondly, after the cleric Laurence summoned a Firre to explode the council chambers; Thirdly, after the internals and part of the outside were destroyed by demons summoned by the dragon Armageddon.

² Edited details courtesy my delightful co-conspirator, @aquadestinyswriting

³ This is, as noted, approximate due to the guilds and religions growing such they need their own rep, or shrinking such that they are folded under the banner of another. For example, in Titan's canon there are 29 gods of the Animal Court. While each of these could have its own separate church, they're all so tiny they'd be folded under the banner of Galantanka's representative.

[vitasexualiiis]

i love how mori, francis, and fukuzawa are all paralleled with/against each other because each of them is driven by responsibility, loyalty and love. it's just expressed in very different ways.

[lenievi]

I think what I would really like to see more of are tos fics - gen fics, because that's where it can work the best imho - where McCoy and Kirk are close friends, and with their teasing they make Spock fit seamlessly into their dynamic and friendship

yes, Spock and Kirk served together for a while (but honestly mostly just a year) at the beginning of s1, they are friends, but not close friends, and there's still this weird distance between them - because both of them keep a distance. But McCoy and Kirk's friendship is portrayed as very close and intimate right from the beginning - they know things about each other, they call each other by a first name and a nickname, the lines between a superior and subordinate are blurred.

And both McCoy and Kirk like Spock and want him to feel included. But Jim can't really approach Spock from a more personal angle and Spock will call him out if he crosses a line (e.g. "Captain, I hardly believe that insults are within your prerogative as my commanding officer."). And that's where McCoy comes in with his teasing and banter - a banter that Kirk himself enjoys, allows, and occasionally joins in on. Each duo has their own dynamic, but a new one, the strongest one, evolves between the three of them, created not because Spock and McCoy were friends with Kirk, so they had to "get along for Kirk's sake", but because McCoy served as a bridge Spock could walk over towards them and they could become a strong, unbreakable triangle (shape).

McCoy connecting Spock and Kirk to their own emotions. Kirk balancing McCoy and Spock’s worldviews. Spock being balanced by Kirk (intuition and human instinct) and McCoy (compassion and humanity).

It's not surprising at all that when Spock thinks he needs to confront Kirk, he takes McCoy with him. Or sends him in first.

[artbyblastweave]

I've seen it said that Worm has two distinct takes on the Evil Superman archetype. One is, obviously, Scion. The other that I've heard is that the Triumvirate each represent aspects of Superman. Alexandria is the flying brick archetype, Legend is the charismatic aspect, and Eidolon is the "World's Strongest Hero" part. Any thoughts?

Yeah, essentially right, with a few extra elements- Legend is also the one who gets to have a functional civilian life, Alexandria gets the double identity element, and Eidolon gets not just the status of the world's strongest hero, but also the editorial baggage of the world's strongest hero running out of things to fight. Legend's also the one who gets to act as a critique of Superman’s squeaky-clean boyscout morality; he gets to have comparatively clean hands because he’s out of the loop on all the morally fraught decisions, and he’s out of the loop on the morally fraught decisions because he didn’t really look all too hard at what was obviously a shady setup. And this feels reminiscent of the persistent meta-level criticism of superheroes in general and Superman in particular (which for the record I only loosely endorse at this point, but which was absolutely true at one point) that their classic "good guy" behavior is only really possible if they're forcibly kept out of contact, on an editorial level, with all the real-world systemic problems that actually cause crime and war and so on, kept out of contact with anything morally thorny, kept away from the question of why something is a crime when a burglar does it but not when a Senator does it. Certain evils you're allowed to target, certain assumptions about the system you're part of that have to go unchallenged- assumptions that raise serious questions about the heroes' ethics, savviness, and personal politics unless you're portraying a world in which all of that under-the-hood societal stuff magically isn't there to be noticed at all. Which Worm, you know, isn't.

[vacantgodling]

some meta shit about timeline and gender

started poking this idea yesterday when i was explaining this to my partner but ph’s cultural concept of gender is broken into 4 (technically there is a secret fifth one) parts: higher feminine, higher masculine, lower feminine, lower masculine, and then god*

god* is the secret fifth gender because in their society does not refer to “god” as a single entity, or a triumvirate like Galeré’s Shepherd/Savior/Judge. to the Kajengans/Kajegans (i can’t decide which i prefer), being the birthplace of what we call magic in this world (and the origin point of witches in Alizath), their concept of nature and magic and the alive “universal energy” around them is “god”. “god” to them is a force, and cannot be gendered. to be degendered in their society is to claim that you Are this universal force—and that’s just. not a thing lol.

this isn’t to say that people don’t have complex gender identities—no. it’s just similar to societies such as ours that have extremely gendered languages and cultures; you exist anyway and find your own workarounds. i should also mention that, chronologically, Smite’s story takes place hundreds, if not thousands (guess who hasn’t decided) of years before Paramour+The Fall of Galeré series as a whole to account for Galeré’s technological advancement lol.

n e w a y tho—higher feminine (kori) and higher masculine (iri) refer to several things.

the blood of the person in question: ie, is it “royal” or “common”. royal blood, unsurprisingly is found in the leaders of any tribe or clan, as well as any of the more well off and nobility. (though they’d use different terms and it’s not necessarily in the way we think of royalty given this is a nomadic/steppe adjacent culture but i haven’t gotten into the weeds of that yet)

the “attunement” to god*. or basically; higher feminine and higher masculine people have a slight affinity for magic—not as developed as later cultures (ie: Alizath’s witches for instance)

and then a third thing i haven’t thought of yet that is more around their determination of gender bc i don’t really want it to be associated with the biology of the situation but i have yet to decide or figure out other determining factors.

and lower feminine (suffix -ko)/lower masculine (suffix -i) are just pretty much not the first two, but all determined by the third thing i haven’t decided yet.

i do know on his journey to save song, as smite is more exposed to both being alone and away from his clan/tribe and begins to experiment and understand his own gender, that he is Also going to run into others: other clans sure, but also, those who live as outcasts in their society. haven’t decided on who he/they are yet specifically but ik smite is going to meet someone i’m currently placeholder naming “bird” but he’s interesting because in a traditional name bird+(gendered suffix) is how you’d name someone; as it’s seen as an affront to god* to not gender yourself p much. however, he/they obviously don’t view things like that and live on their own in the wilds bc of this and other reasons 🤷🏽‍♂️

also ALSO last thing, the northern band that still is from is much looser with their idea of gender Because the north is where “magic” is thought to have originated from and they have a higher attunement to god* (aka ability to actually Use magic versus being attuned to it) so the concept of lacking gender/nb/third gender originates from the northern band and spreads south eventually into regions like galeré and alizath :)

finally finally the end of this ramble is ig this giant northernmost steppe has a name kinda which is whenever i decide if this place is called kajenga or kajega 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️

[waywardtrek]

On the rare occasion when i see sunnyblr like “oooooh i hope rcg never witness how much we macdennis truth/go hard for sunny/meta til our eyeballs bleed on here etc. EMBARRASSING lol” like have you seen rcg? watched the sunny podcast?

those are the three most beautifully unhinged, undiagnosed adhd-iest, different-zones-of-the-autism-spectrumiest, neurodivergent motherfuckers i have ever had the pleasure to witness up close. like the holy neurodiv triumvirate lol. hell, they’re probably all already on tumblr, relentlessly liking/reblogging posts of sunny memes and other hyperfixations lol. good for them

^^posting this today, in light of certain updates, but pinkie promise you it sat in my drafts - without useful tags - for an entire three weeks (thanks, adhd and anxiety LOL). Anyway, good for rob for talking about it and being brave enough to do a whole podcast about it, very inspiring.

[laventadorn]

why do you think lily married james? i know she wasn't friends with sev anymore so she technically didn't owe him anything but for the life of me i cannot figure out why she would marry him and be friendly with other marauders when they made his ex-bffs life a living hell. or why she agreed to entrust her own son's life to pettigrew. she only knew him for 4 years. did she even have any say in who to make the secret keeper?

first disclaimer is that i don't vibe with j/ily or j/ames p/otter, so i have the subsequent thumbs down opinion on it --

as it's presented/known in canon, the pairing makes no sense to me. sometimes i've tried to make the two halves jive -- the friends with sev to loving james pipeline -- and come to the conclusion that lily is... kind of an edgelord asshole skjfkl. i mean, that's fine, i support harry having not one but two asshole parents, but that's the only way i can see that fitting.

i also know that ships are about the vibe -- i can ship snarriet, for example, without characterizing harriet as an edgelord asshole -- but i also see grown up snape as, believe or not, somewhat mellowed. i always think of teenage snape as just fucken unhinged. it's also canon that harry was appalled by his dad's behavior (i once wrote this meta that idk if i ever posted, but it was about james/draco/dudley being a triumvirate of horribly spoiled and privileged little shits who eventually straightened out, for various reasons). and harry(et), as a bullied and neglected child, has more in common with snape than his/her own adored and pampered father.

*pulls the cart back on the track*

anyway, i subscribe to the theory that if they'd lived, j/ily would've eventually broken up.

the joke answer is "bun in the oven"

[essophysics-enjoyer]

information

canons: site-17 deepwell, no return/from 120’s archives. third law to a lesser extent, mostly for thaumaturgy meta.

this blog is themed as site-17 because she’s where the essophysics department sits, though i don’t hold articles in the realm of 4755 to be canon, or anything else that conflicts with the Impasse and onwards. thomas graham is a bastard pass it on.

i click out of any article that discusses a*ron siegel in any capacity, sorry (i have nothing against him as a character lmao its just Memories). i also block anyone whose blog features him a great deal, again i’ve got nothing against you. i pretend the guy in ralliston’s proposal is named something else.

i don’t do senior staff except for anybody who plays a major role in vanguard. they’re fine i just don’t find them interesting.

the SCP number for personifs is NOT 10985.

this is separate from the thing i was doing with @/imadewritingmyjob for hopefully obvious reasons. the thing that sucks is that i did a good job the first time (barring the omegaverse au which was a legitimate crime committed against me) so a lot is going to look the same.

otp tags (will likely be expanded):

foundation x goc—a common interest

ethics committee x raisa—the eye of the law

thomas graham x site-17—with the push of a button

(no directors and their sitespirits are NOT supposed to be fucking but it’s thomas graham. who im pretty sure goes out of his way to not follow ethics codes.)

glossary of terms:

SCP SPECIFIC

first hytoth: the ortothan concept as on the wiki; the personif number was 10985 during it, but nobody in the second hytoth in-universe knows that.

PERSONIF GEN

nationalism: crack for countryspirits.

nationalist: a person with a personif kink. not all people with personif kinks are nationalists.

personif: exclusively human-used shortening of personification that i use for ease of typing. i invented it, so anyone else who you see using the term is probably a friend.

personiftranslation: when i personify something.

avatar: in-universe term that is basically the equivalent of personif. i got it and a lot of other stuff from The City We Became by NK Jemisin.

OPC: original personif character, as in i made both them and what they personify.

ODAC: original demiavatar character. explained further down.

ceremonial avatocracy: a mode of government in which the personif is the ceremonial head of state.

true avatocracy: a mode of government in which the personif actually runs herself. democracy is the closest viable system that is not anarchy that we’ve found so far. i think communism was eventually supposed to transition into it. any system that believes personifs are capable of surviving without caretakers has the goal of true avatocracy.

exchange: the process by which a personif feeds herself and maintains an ideally symbiotic relationship with her humans. community service feeds the personif; gaining the hours that you need to pass high school and presumably the feelings of satisfaction are what the personif gives back. our ability to identify with people we don’t know personally is the result of personif exchange. generally, actions are humans feeding the personif, and feelings are the personif feeding the human. the feelings behind the actions still determine how nourishing the action is, though.

(nation-) whisperer/demipersonif/demiavatar: all children of personifs, adopted and biological, who aren’t personifs themselves. can be produced as long as one parent is a personif, or another whisperer.

demanifestation: what personifs do when they’re not getting enough exchange. the avatar—the personif as we see her—is only the way the consciousness/true body of the place/people communicates with the world, and it takes energy derived from exchange to maintain.

OTJ: Old Triumvirate Jurisdiction. any personif who isn’t primarily based in the Internet.

NTJ: New Triumvirate Jurisdiction. personifs who are primarily based in the Internet.

STJ: Shadow Triumvirate Jurisdiction. any personif of a fictional group of people.

Internet: the space metaphorically/literally (it depends where you’re standing) inside the Fourth Wall. perfectly in between Reality and Fiction.

Fourth Wall: everyone’s brains, in the most literal sense.

Reality: the side of the Fourth Wall our bodies live in.

Fiction: the side of the Fourth Wall everything not-real we think of lives in, and Guardians.

Guardians: our avatars in Fiction; souls, if you will. they’re personifs of each of us and some of them help keep the creatures where they belong. some of them also manage personifs.

Nao: my Guardian avatar. they help manage personifs.

[ayearwithoutwater]

Nine.

I remember regarding the vicissitudes of my love life in 2014 rather wryly.

I felt caught between—by—a trio of men: my personal triumvirate, I'd named them amongst my closest friends. Alberto, Stephen, and John were united in my mind by their graduation year, as all three were just one year ahead of me in college, as well as by the persistent notion I'd had that they'd all resided at the same dorm in their freshman year. Although they weren't personally acquainted with one another, they knew of each other, perhaps mostly through me and the stories I'd tell them of the others. I'd met them independently as a sophomore during what I'd later come to view as the most formative year of my love life thus far.

By 2014, I had already created defined roles for each of them in the narrative of my life. Alberto was the loving boyfriend who would soon depart for the next exciting chapter of his life, Stephen was the off-limits figure with whom I had palpable chemistry, chemistry that I pointedly chose to ignore out of fear that I would do something I'd regret, and John was the equally beautiful and philosophical man whose presence was profoundly aspirational. While graduation brought separation for Alberto and me, it also gave me space to explore myself with the remaining two.

I confess that there aren't enough words for now to give as much attention as I'd like to Stephen, but that's fine; John was always today's intended focal point, most specifically because he was my formative one that got away.

When I first met him in China Gazing, the seminar we shared, I didn't think much of him. Honestly, I didn't pay much attention to any of my classmates; 2013 was a busy time for me, and I was perennially preoccupied with my seventeen-hour days.

John set himself apart from the rest of our classmates with his insights during our roundtable discussions. China Gazing was one of our college's few courses that examined, broadly speaking, Chinese culture and society via its presence within the proliferation of written materials and literature produced by Westerners; it was one of few meta-analytical courses taught at my college that dealt with my heritage as parsed through Western conceptions and could easily be put into conversation with the discursive output of Edward Said, which explains my interest in the subject matter…and John's, too.

John grew up in San Francisco with mixed Irish and Chinese ancestry. Later, I would marvel at his prodigious command of Chinese, particularly his fluency in Mandarin outpacing my own despite him having grown up in a Cantonese household. (Plenty of people are capably or equally fluent in both, but his mastery was all the more impressive to me because he is a second- or third-generation Chinese American.) In class, his essays and input stood out to me from the rest because he spoke eloquently (and without pretension) while offering novel analyses of our coursework; suffice it to say that, almost immediately, it was he who I strived to emulate. Merely knowing that he would hear what I had to contribute to any discourse was enough motivation for me to devote special effort to my preparations for class—I wanted to appear nothing less than erudite.

In hindsight, John was probably my first intellectual crush. Everything he said seemed to be something that nobody else had ever conceptualized, and his writing seemed full of references both seminal and obscure that I could build an entire syllabus around solely his bibliographies. Perhaps I myself was simply unlearned—he'd had an entire year of life more than I did to study, after all—but wasn't that the point of college, to be surrounded by intellectuals and inspired? While my friends were off reading Foucault and Freud, I wanted to read John.

I can't say that I remember how we became friends, which is probably to say that it wasn't too important. Class ended with the semester, and I no longer had anything in common with him, but I would still see him around, sometimes. As I ascended the ranks of our student government, I ran into him more and more often because he had a vested interest as a composer in our music club. As the class of 2014 graduated, I was suddenly single, and I found myself attending the same graduation party thrown by our college. He, too, was single.

I remember being plied with wine by all of my friends. I remember being a nuisance, walking around to tipsily ask all of my gay male friends in attendance why they weren't attracted to me (to which their joking response was that they were). I remember seeing John from across the room and making eye contact with him. I remember walking directly towards him, ignoring anyone and everyone else. I remember us sequestering ourselves within the photo booth for hire, and I remember kissing him for the first time.

I don't—didn't—know what I'd expected. It was as if kissing him unlocked from deep within me a torrent of truths that I had never given the space or effort to confront, that he was ridiculously handsome from the shape of his eyes to the sharpness of his jawline, that I was immeasurably attracted to him but never realized it because I'd locked away in the recesses of my psyche even the tiniest inkling of attraction to anyone else because I already had a partner. It wasn't just that he was smart—it was also that he was unbelievably beautiful.

I had a Lily Allen concert to attend, but, later that night, I slept with him in his Harlem apartment.

I remember feeling bewildered. I remember clumsily going through the motions in his bed because I was freshly out of a relationship, and I was in complete disbelief that the most stunning species of man was interested in me. I'd never been with anyone else other than my first boyfriend, and I wasn't sure how to behave in uncharted territory.

I hate to say it, but it was also uncanny because he was kind of an older brother figure to me. He was someone who sort of looked like me and therefore also had gone through life facing similar obstacles as I did or would. I often went to him for advice, whether personal or academic or philosophical, and I treasured his presence in my life. When our relationship became physical, I felt awkward because I felt that I didn't measure up. I didn't feel insecure, but I felt as though I still had some growing to do.

I think I botched it. Over the summer, our time together was marred by him trying to figure out his preferred type of employment and, predominantly, me trying to answer the question: how soon was too soon? I liked John a lot, but conventional wisdom said that any relationship that developed too soon after a prior relationship would be doomed to be a rebound and nothing more. But, I didn't want him to be a rebound, and I certainly didn't want him to feel as though he was one, because I liked him a lot and I wanted his company. Still, between that and my lingering sadness for my breakup with Alberto, I felt like a mess. Summer was here, the days were warm and I had all the freedom in the world to move on with my life, but I felt intuitively that I needed to slow down and process. I wanted to be with John, too, but I was afraid of being inadequate.

I remember a conversation over brunch with John at Serafina that to this day defines the restaurant chain in my mind. I remember him offering to bring me Chipotle on a day when I was particularly depressed. I remember having my read receipts on for text messaging and leaving his messages to me unread, because I was possessed by some ridiculously misguided notion that being fair to him meant nipping our budding situationship or relationship or whatever it was, because I was afraid of breaking his heart, too. It wasn't quite cutting off my nose to spite my face, but it may as well have been because the end result was the same: I denied myself what I wanted for no reason other than to appear noble and soured my relationship with him in the process.

Seasons later, he invited me to his birthday. It was a casual gathering of the people in his life as he celebrated at a nightclub, and I showed up late. Again, I was awkward, but I knew I still liked him, and I felt more ready to explore that. As we greeted each other, I wanted to kiss him—but he was no longer interested. Embarrassed, I ran away, hiding myself in a bathroom stall while one of our mutual friends consoled me over text messages, telling me that the timing just wasn't working out. The next year, he moved to Hong Kong.

Honestly, I don't know if he was actually the one that got away. I don't know if we would've worked out. Our interest in each other was reciprocated, but everyone tells me that the right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person.

It doesn't matter. Whether or not he's actually my one that got away is immaterial because what matters more to me is that he was the first in my life to personify that trope: whereas Alberto set the standard for the boyfriends I would come to have, John set the standard for the boyfriends I would come to never have. Again, it all came down to choice. I chose to commit to Alberto just as I chose not to commit to John. I pressed myself to avoid making John my rebound but, in retrospect, I should've just let myself go all in instead of imposing arbitrary rules upon myself for no rationale other than to perform correctness, as if there's a correct way to accept the love that entered my life.

A decade later, John was one of the men upon whom I relied during my year without water. Time's distance did little to separate him from his big brother archetype in my head. As I parsed my newest breakup with him, I confessed to him that, all those years ago, I'd loved him, too, and that I was sorry for how I had behaved.

I suppose that my experience with John taught me not to fetishize a perfect goodness, to not let it stand in the way of romance, because there is no perfect love. It's taught me to accept the flaws that realistically accompany any relationship, which therefore has empowered me to go after what (or whom) I want—not just someone who checks most, not all, of my boxes—because perfection does not exist.

Equally, I've been wondering whether I've ever been that person for anyone else. I've wondered whether any of my exes look back at me as their person that got away, but I suppose it's all moot. I think I might have been idealizing the role of the one that got away out of fear—fear that I wouldn't be the one that was chosen, birthed from a childhood of being the one that was left behind. Yet, all my insecurities and arbitrary rules have done nothing but prevent me from living the life I've been wanting to live, and so I'm now choosing to stand my ground as I stare down my future. I've come to conclude that I'm not going to be the one that got away, anymore or if at all—instead, I'm going to be the one that chose to stay.

It is, after all, the more interesting choice.

[arnorion-in-arda]

A New Idea

I was very excited to hear that my abstract has been accepted for Mythmoot. My co-author and I will be presenting a talk on the resilience inspired by the imaginative frameworks constructed by characters within several of our favorite stories, but more on that later. For now I wanted to jot down an idea I had while hiking with my family.

Our kids were having a pretend, playing characters exploring a landscape on a quest into an enchanted forest while we were on our hike through some marshy woods near the Charles River. I was thinking about our Mythmoot concept (the power of creating a narrative to explain the events of our lives) when it occurred to me that our kids were doing something similar. But rather than real people creating imagined but really-believed stories to give or understand the meaning behind events, they were creating a deliberately fantastical story and layering it on top of their experience of the primary world - a kind of augmented reality.

It struck me that they were having an experience of fantasy similar to what Tolkien described in On Fairy Stories; but rather than fantasy being a kind of harbor away from the primary world their fantasy was a layer on top of it. Their play was amazing to watch and their collaborative, spontaneously constructed meta-narrative really gave them much joy. I think this kind of fantasy-pretend game might have some kind of corollary to Tolkien's triumvirate of Recovery, Escape, and Consolation. Something like enhancement, engagement, and enchantment. Because rather than drawing them out of the sensible world into a fantastical imaginary land, their play brought the wonder of fantasy into the world as they were imaginatively experiencing it.

I think there is something here worth exploring further.

[druidx]

WIP Intro - Her Countenance was Light

~SYNOPSIS~

The 1970s, twenty years after the rebuilding of Toreguard, semi-retired Sergeant Elowyn O'Toreguarde is called in for a new case - the murder of her childhood best friend, Evelyn Strucker. When the King of estranged Iceland turns up for an unexpected visit, the Triumvirate Council force O'Toreguarde to play tour guide, passing the murder case to her subordinates. But it doesn't completely leave her hands. A strange set of circumstances reveals an ethereal side to the City, filled with secrets. Secrets which may hold the key to Evelyn's murder.

~DETAILS~

Genre: Crime/ Urban Fantasy Type: Novel POV: Third person limited, predominantly Present tense Themes: Grief/ mourning, Change is neutral, Accepting who you are, Mercy is the preferred choice Aesthetic: Dieselpunk, Detective Noir, Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales Status: Technical editing. Posting weekly on Archive of Our Own and Tumblr. Tags: #WIP 'Her Countenance was Light' (All posts inc. meta info); #HCWL Chapters Only (Follow this tag for only the chapters in posting order)

~MAIN CHARACTERS~

Elowyn O'Toreguarde - F, Sergeant-Detective, Freeman of the City

Johan Strucker - M, Evelyn's Father, General, 1/3rd of the Triumvirate Council

Storri Nargondsson - M, King of Iceland

Lerrald Brauma - M, Master of the Exchequer, 1/3rd of the Triumvirate Council

~MINOR CHARACTERS~

Farren Breakwood - M, Constable-Detective, Elo's Police partner

Thazaar Clayrmantle - M, Acting Magister, 1/3rd of the Triumvirate Council

Snotgrut - M, Unusual fellow. Curiosity. Shouldn't exist. ???

Meredith Gruksdottir - F, Bodyguard of K. Storri, Old friend of Elo's

Yoruk Copperheart - M, Bodyguard of K. Storri, Husband of Merri

Irvine Cobbleskater - M, Constable, subordinate of Elo

~OTHER STUFF~

Written for NaNoWriMo 2017. Technically a Modern, Mundane-ish AU of a TTRPG set in the Fighting Fantasy World of Titan. Formerly known as "FF/T Modern-Ish AU".

The plot is... not something I would normally write, and for a long while I hated it. Then I thought it was a too cringy, and tried to 'fix' it, only to give up. Now, on a recent re-read, I think this is the shape this story has always had to have. So I've decided to suck it up and get it ready for posting, so at least it's out there and not loitering on my hard drive.

Title is from a traditional song, Besse Bunting, arranged by Mediæval Bæbes.

~EXCERPT~

She cuts through a narrow alley of dark soot-stained brick, trots down a short set of steps and onto the flagged towpath next to the canal. There is an improvised bridge up ahead that will allow her to pass over the canal closer to where the station lies. She has run this route a hundred times, she knows every nook and cranny along this path, so when she reaches where the bridge should be, and finds it missing, she is perturbed, but not worried. Maybe someone finally reported the ramshackle thing, made of old boards and stolen scaffolding.

It was quick work though, she thinks as she back-tracks to where a tree clings to the bank. The bridge was still there when she came home in the early evening. She shakes the thought aside as she unhooks a rope swing from the tree. It's been a while since she had to use it, but she's in a hurry and has no time for the uncertainty that tries to drape over her like a cloak. With a running start, she jumps. It is only as she enters the apex of the swing that she realises something is wrong. The weight of the rope is too heavy, it shifts alarmingly as she reaches the apex of the swing. Then it has snapped, and she is falling, and she cannot remove her hands from the tacky surface of the rope, and the water is closing in over her head, and she thinks she sees the blaze of red eyes on the bank as she sinks through the darkness.

[raspberry-gloaming]

I've spent a couple long car journeys this weekend listening to the first three episodes of Gallifrey Time War 2, so here's my thoughts on Havoc and Partisans (mainly Partisans since I forgot to make notes on Havoc.) It may come across a bit negative but that's mainly because I just didn't vibe with Partisans ig the way it happened and just the writing didn't work for me, it's definitely for me one of the weakest episodes, even though I did enjoy the overall plot. So under the cut, here's a belated liveblog from my notes app:

Is eladra the one (well this universe's version) from Gallifrey IV?

"Equally unpleasant band of xenophobic imperialists" WOW DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR OR WHAT HMM WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE

Why in Havoc so much more human-y language, like "children" and "seconds" and "0200 hours" also a lot of saying "kill" in a way that didn't feel that very timelordy

Partisans so far feels very expositional

Narvin in partisans is snipy in an almost MCU level quippy way

When notifying Mantus that Narvin and Eris are off Gallifrey the timelord (check name later) refers to Narvin as Coordinator instead of Deputy Coordinator

Triumvirate sounds iconic it's giving Shadow and Bone vibes with the iconic Genya-Zoya-David triumvirate

TW2 aka high treason the boxset aka oh fuck we fucked up by ressurecting Rassilon the boxset

I resented trave in tw1 but this series I've changed my tune. he's going this way that way forwards and backwards in my opinion from good books in enemy lines, to the opposite in tw1 to back again in tw2

I do enjoy Romana and Livia together as allies especially when adding Trave to them as well political machinations and their vibe are really fun

I wonder if the "bohemian" style family members Romana refers to are Heartshavens or Dvora

Still not vibing with Partisans so far

Where are all the students in the academy? (when Livia and Romana are there and it's mentioned to be empty? are they not training them up still? what's going on with the education system rn? I hope this gets brought up again and explained but I'm not really expecting it to be

They're always getting bugged and stuff why don't they just like talk over telepathy? like that's a big thing they're telepaths like in universe that would be a very useful option to pick instead. I understand this from a meta perspective as it being a plot device, but in character-

They really do like putting Narvin into situations this boxset

[for-the-win13]

CRITICAL REALISM AND PANDEMIC TEACHING

Tentative Research Question: How did teachers creatively strategize to deliver Mathematics learning during the pandemic?

Critical Realism as a meta-theory is pertinent to generate meaningful and impartial interpretations and conclusions. It posits that the world is intransitive, stratified, works as an open system, and is emergent. It demonstrates a harmonious balance between Ontological Realism and Epistemic Relativism. A researcher who subscribes to this theory values sound methodologies and comprehensive analysis before making interpretations. Critical realist researchers understand the plurality of ideas and adhere to certain standards to develop the most logical conclusions. I intend to apply this meta-theory in my present and future research endeavors.

My present research project covers Mathematics teachers' experiences in distance education during the COVID-19 pandemic. It aims to determine the creative teaching strategies that Math teachers implemented despite the challenges and restrictions brought by the pandemic. This paper explains the assumptions of Critical Realism and its implications in my research project. This paper discusses how Critical Realism influenced my research decisions.

The world is intransitive, but the knowledge about the world is transitive.

Ontological Realism is a significant part of the triumvirate of Critical Realism, asserting that the world is autonomous of the knower. It explains why judgement is possible. On the other hand, Epistemic Relativism states that human knowledge is dependent on the knower. It asserts the plurality of interpretations and perspectives that underscore the need for judgment.

The assumptions of Ontological Realism and Epistemic Relativism emphasize the need to do research and commit to making rational judgments. Although the world is intransitive, the knowledge about the world is transitive. Our understanding of the world is constructed from our perceptions and perspectives. This assumption should inspire all researchers to use the most appropriate methods and the right analytical framework to acquire a more comprehensive knowledge of the world. Notably, this assumption should teach humility to any researcher. Regardless of the sophistication of the implemented research methods, all research studies will only uncover fractions of the truth.

Critical Realism is a potent framework for studying how teachers creatively strategize to deliver Math lessons during the pandemic. The idea that the world is transitive posits that knowledge about the world is bounded and necessitates the practice of judgmental rationality. With the limitations of knowing, the selection of the most suitable research methods is critical. Anchored on the assumption of intransitivity, I intend to employ a combination of qualitative and quantitative methods in my research project. The inclusion of qualitative methods provides an in-depth explanation of an existing phenomenon. The combination of qualitative and quantitative methods is a big help in practicing judgmental rationality. It will lead to more comprehensive information about the experiences of Math teachers during the pandemic.

The world is stratified into domains of empirical, actual, and real.

Critical Realism claims that the world has different but distinct domains: the empirical, the actual, and the causal (Schiller, 2016). According to Allana and Clark (2018), human perception and personal experiences define the empirical domain. In this domain, knowledge is derived from what is perceived and what generates an effect. Schiller (2016) asserts that the actual domain covers all events that occur regardless of whether they are perceived or experienced. Meanwhile, according to Allana and Clark (2018), the real domain includes the causal powers that affect events in the actual and empirical domains.

 One significant impact of this worldview is the idea that reality is not limited to human perception and personal experiences. The stratification is a substantial rationale for conducting research in pursuit of a deeper understanding of the causal domain. Within the scope of my research project, I intend to transcend the empirical and actual domains. Some studies asserted the factors that affect teaching experience during the pandemic. Akar and Erden (2021) found that distance education limits teachers in motivating students, providing adequate feedback, and facilitating communication and interaction. Fakhrunisa and Prabawanto (2021) discovered issues involving the readiness of teachers to use online applications, limitations in student access to learning resources, problems in facilitating mathematical thinking processes, and limitations in providing feedback. Although some studies covered the factors that affect the teaching experiences of Math teachers during the pandemic, these research papers did not investigate the interrelation of factors. Given this gap, I intend to examine the experiences of Math teachers during the pandemic and determine how different factors interplay and profoundly impact the decision to implement creative teaching strategies.

The world is an open system.

After writing the draft of my review of related literature for my research project, I noticed the permutation of factors that define the experiences of teachers and students in the context of distance education during the pandemic. Some research studies highlighted the benefits and opportunities of distance education (e.g. Hebebci et al., 2020; Aksan, 2021; Lavidas et al., 2022). Some research studies identified the issues and challenges (e.g. Aldon et al., 2021; Roman, 2021; Akar & Erden, 2021).

 The difference in findings indicates that the world is an open system. Multiple causes interplay and determine an event. The difference in results can be attributed to the difference in various factors. For instance, the difference in preferred learning modality of teachers and students after the pandemic may be influenced by the diversity in readiness level, available resources, quality of support, and other factors. The study of Ince et al. (2020) discovered the views of students on distance learning are determined by their access to gadgets and the availability of an Internet connection.  Students who are more active in online classes are the students with better access to gadgets and the Internet. Although the studies have similar contexts, learning modality and the global pandemic are only two of the many factors that impact teaching and learning.

There are two significant implications of the notion of an open system in my research project. First, a mixed-method approach is essential to examine different factors and their interconnection. According to Clark et al. (2008), explanatory studies necessitate a combination of both qualitative and quantitative methods. The assumption that the world is an open system explains why qualitative methods are appropriate in examining how Math teachers creatively strategize. Experimental control is not possible in an open system. If exclusive causality is absolute, there is no need to do interviews and observations because a single statistical test would suffice. Given that multiple factors influence an event, a mixed-method approach is needed to cover the complexities of the teaching experience during the pandemic. The second implication is on the application of the results in other disciplines. The findings of my research project on teaching experiences may be recommended to other subject areas and disciplines. Since multiple variables are interconnected in an open system, my findings may contribute to studying other phenomena. The results may serve as a reference for future research studies.

The world is emergent.

It is assumed in Critical Realism that the world is emergent. The multiple factors that influence an event in an open system have distinct levels: physical, biological, psychological, social, and cultural.

In the context of pandemic teaching, the experiences during the pandemic are affected by several factors. Aldon et al. (2021) found four that define the teaching experience of Mathematics teachers: management of learning sessions, implementation of assessment, addressing student problems, and providing instructional support. These factors belong at distinct and different levels. The experiences of teachers in managing learning sessions and implementing assessments are products of the existing cultures and values. The objectives, decisions, and performance of teachers during the pandemic are influenced by their mental state and physical condition, and the well-being of the people around them.

The assumption that the world is emergent made me understand that studying teaching experiences is more than just gathering data about teachers. With this assumption, it is recommended to design research instruments in a way that covers the various aspects of teaching and the different factors that impact teaching experience. In my research project, I intend to examine how factors related to teachers, students, and the learning environment interact and impact the implementation of creative Math teaching strategies.

Summary

            The assumptions of Critical Realism had a significant influence on the decisions that I made for my research project, and I intend to continue utilizing these assumptions in my next decisions. The belief in the intransitivity of the world is a reminder of the limitations of research studies and the importance of selecting the most appropriate methods to uncover the truth about pandemic teaching. The idea of stratification motivates me to go beyond the empirical domain by examining the interrelation of factors that impact teachers during the pandemic. Furthermore, the viewpoint that the world is an open and emergent system demands a mixed-method approach to obtain more comprehensive information on how Math teachers creatively deliver math lessons during the pandemic.

REFERENCE

Allana, S. & Clark, A. (2018). Applying Meta-Theory to Qualitative and Mixed-Methods Research: A Discussion of Critical Realism and Heart Failure Disease Management Interventions Research. International Journal of Qualitative Methods. 17, 1-9. https://doi.org/10.1177/1609406918790042

Sage. Schiller, C. J. (2016). Critical Realism in Nursing: An Emerging Approach. Nursing Philosophy, 17, 88–102

Yohannes, Y., Juandi, D., Diana, N., & Sukma, Y. (2021). Mathematics Teachers' Difficulties in Implementing Online Learning during the COVID-19 Pandemic. Journal of Hunan University（Natural Sciences). 48(5), 1-12. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/352290221_Mathematics_Teachers'_Difficulties_in_Implementing_Online_Learning_during_the_COVID-19_Pandemic

Sugilar, Rajati, J., & Achmad (2021). A Hierarchical Component Model of Students’ Difficulties of Learning Mathematics in a Distance Higher Education. Journal of Physics: Conference Series. https://doi.org/ 10.1088/1742-6596/1918/4/042053

Hebebci, M. T., Bertiz, Y., & Alan, S. (2020). Investigation of Views of Students and Teachers on Distance Education Practices during the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Pandemic. International Journal of Technology in Education and Science. 4(4), 267-282. https://doi.org/10.46328/ijtes.v4i4.113

Aksan, J. A. (2021). Effect of Modular Distance Learning Approach to Academic Performance in Mathematics of Students in Mindanao State University-Sulu Senior High School Amidst COVID-19 Pandemic. Open Access Indonesia Journal of Social Sciences, 4(4), 445-467. https://doi.org/10.37275/oaijss.v4i2.64

Lavidas, K., Apostolou, Z., & Papadakis, S. (2022) Challenges and Opportunities of Mathematics in Digital Times: Preschool Teachers’ Views. Educ. Sci. 2022, 12(7), 459; https://doi.org/10.3390/educsci12070459

Aldon, G., Cusi, A., Schacht, F. & Swidan, O. (2021). Teaching Mathematics in a Context of Lockdown: A Study Focused on Teachers’ Praxeologies. Education Sciences. 11(2), 1-21. https://doi.org/10.3390/educsci11020038

Roman (2021). Experiences of Teachers on Using Modular Distance Learning (MDL) in Teaching Mathematics During the COVID-19 Pandemic Southeast Asian Journal of Science and Technology. 6 (2),78-86. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/357957500_Experiences_of_Teachers_on_Using_Modular_Distance_Learning_MDL_in_Teaching_Mathematics_During_the_COVID-19_Pandemic

Akar, S. S. & Erden, M. K. (2021). Distance Education Experiences of Secondary School Math Teachers During the Pandemic: A Narrative Study. Turkish Online Journal of Distance Education. 22(3). https://dergipark.org.tr/en/download/article-file/1857612

Fakhrunisa, F. &  Prabawanto, S. (2021). Online Learning in COVID-19 Pandemic: An Investigation of Mathematics Teachers’ Perception. http://dx.doi.org/10.1145/3439147.3439179

Ince, Y. I., Kabul, N., & Kabul, A. (2022). Opinions of High School Students about Distance Education in Pandemic Process. Journal of Learning and Teaching in Digital Age. 7(2), 192-199. https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1350878.pdf

Aldon, G., Cusi, A., Schacht, F. & Swidan, O. (2021). Teaching Mathematics in a Context of Lockdown: A Study Focused on Teachers’ Praxeologies. Education Sciences. 11(2), 1-21. https://doi.org/10.3390/educsci11020038

[therobotmonster]

Sure! and remember, you asked for it @readasaur

I have a lot under the #tyrannomax tag, but the sum up is that it's a unreality fauxstalgia concept that exists both as a story and a meta-story around its creation:

TyrannoMax and the Warriors of the Core was a comic by Cocytus Comics, originally released in the 1970s, appearing alongside such characters as Farrah Fyendlyne: Familiar of Faust, the Tomorrownauts, and Johannes Factotum: Professor of (Practically) Everything. (My Secret Origin of Wally ManMoth Comic is here)

TyrannoMax is a dinoid from "The Fossilized World of M'nar" which was created when the cosmic radiation burst that killed the dinosaurs (the KT impact wouldn't be commonly accepted until well after the series started) created a layer of "fossilized time" producing a pocket universe that resembles a hollow earth, accessible through portals hidden underground.

When Dr. Myron Underfoot discovers one of these portals, he brings art student Wally Manheim with him to take field illustrations, as traditional film is fogged by the portal transition, and to be a guinea pig.

The portal doesn't kill Wally, and he's found by TyrannoMax and his friends. Max is the champion of the Core City of Ib, their bravest and most heroic warrior, and just a generally helpful guy.

Underfoot winds up stealing one of the sun-crystals that keep the fossilized world stable, and when he tries to take it back through one of the portals to the surface it explodes, transforming him into the dinoid-like Dr. Underfang, and trapping Max and his friends on Earth, where they battle Dr. Underfang, his genicarnated creations, and a host of other foes.

(My favorite of which is Dr. Underfang's gal Friday, Mrs. Nice/Mrs. Nautlius, whose origin is summed up in this PSA that ran in Cocytus books through the late 70s.)

In the 80s, Cocytus hit hard times and was bought out by Buzby-Spurlock animation, producing the cartoon series that this figure was merch for. The series introduced Max's cousin l'l Wrexy and a host of new toy-based characters, and upped the tech level so you could get cool vehicle toys.

TyrannoMax Himself:

A Bio-Card of Comics Max is Here.

Max is the leader of his team, the 10,723rd reincarnation of his line, and a skilled fighter, strategist, and dancer. He's the physically strongest member of his team (narrowly edging out BrontoSarah) and never met a boulder he didn't want to throw.

His psychic dinoid ability is the ability to psionically augment his roar by focusing his courage to produce a force-shockwave, his righteous anger to stun or induce fear in enemies, and his hope to augment the strength of his friends. Like all dinoids he can use his psychic potential to rapidly learn other languages, but his overall psychic affinity is lower than most and highly specialized into his roar.

Like all dinoids, Max is vulnerable to cold (lore was established in the 70s)

His dinonite sword cuts through steel as if it were particle board, and can parry physical and energy attacks. His armor is made from dinonite and Hydrasaurus leather, augmenting his already formidable dinoid toughness.

Max is a relatively young champion and augments his lack of experience by relying on the expertise and knowledge of his comrades. He, BrontoSarah and TriceraBruce are best friends forming an Id (Sarah), Ego (Bruce), SuperEgo (Max) triumvirate. Bruce is intellectual and methodical, Sarah is passionate and wise, and Max is the balance between them.

The quick sum up of his personality is Adam West's Batman if he had Hercules' skill set and love of physicality and a more wry sense of humor.

He has a friendly rivalry with DeinoSteve, who respects Max's abilities but feels he's not decisive or 'solution oriented' enough for his role. Steve uses Max having saved his life during their first encounter as an excuse to hang around, but really he likes the companionship.

He is friends with PteroDarla, but not as close as with Sarah and Bruce, with a sort of chummy-work-colleagues kind of relationship.

Max considers Wally, Wally's little brother Bobby, and l'l Wrexy to be his younger brothers or adoptive children depending on how much managing they need.

Max considers stopping Dr. Underfang and his Genincarnates his responsibility, since Underfang got his powers from the Fossilized World and reverse engineered his own transformation to create the genicarnation process.

He has other rivals as well, in the form of TyrannoXam (an evil clone created, mostly, (its complicated) by the Unnatural Selector), CeratoGaius (Wrexy's dad, Max's brother-by-marriage, and a rich jerk who thinks he should be champion), and the DireLord of Lemurmalia (Max's counterpart from a realm of ice-age mammal people), all of whom seek to prove their superiority to a guy who would love to be their friend if they weren't being jerks.

And no discussion of Max's foes would be complete without Maureen the Lizard Queen.

Maureen has the ability to control reptiles and has general purpose hypnotic powers, making her the Lizard Queen. To her logic, the queen of lizards deserves only the best consort, the "Tyrant Lizard King," in the form of TyrannoMax.

She calls him "Darling" and "Sugarfangs" and other cutesy names. Max finds her attentions flummoxing.

Max and Steve are more resistant to her powers than most ("Ugh, you've got too much bird in you!") but she also doesn't use her power on Max outside of a combat/escape context cuz she's not quite that much of a creep. Her non-stalking related escapades usually involve attempts to establish her Queendom in some populated area or doing jobs for Dr. Underfang in exchange for the creation of reptilian genincarnate henchmen for her.

In the 90s there was a movie.

TyrannoMax 2" Action Figure In-Progress Sculpt

The hands cooperated for a chunk of sculpting today.

Toy Max is based largely on the cartoon design, but in keeping with the mid-to-late 80s, he's going to be a little more detailed. He's in my personal favorite, Battle-Beasts-inspired aesthetic.

[knowshisowna]

META | the relationship between rod & bella.

one thing i feel like i don’t talk about enough on this blog is the actual relationship between rodolphus and bellatrix. not the perceived relationship , not the one crafted and solidified for them , not the one on paper. no , the real and raw relationship they share between the two of them when no one else is around , when no one else is watching. because it is one of the most important relationships not only to rodolphus but to rabastan and the death eaters as a whole.

first and foremost , they are as close to close friends as either of them can imagine , more so even than rodolphus and antonin although their relationships do not at all look alike and not just physically. bella and rod grew up together , and while he is substantially older , they learned from one another. they didn’t get along at first probably. they are at two opposite ends of a vast scale , and there was a lot of push and pull to start. he was order , and she was chaos. limits had to be tested. lines had to be drawn. and some things had to give.

of course , him being older and a lover of organization , this clashed with a reckless little girl’s idea of fun , but they grew to respect each other , or at the very least each other’s abilities. it was evident to everyone how formidable they could be together under the right circumstances , circumstances tom himself manufactured. and a union between the two of them would offer them both the freedom few others could say they had without upsetting tradition. bella wouldn’t have to bare children , and rodolphus wouldn’t have to worry for his home.

the marriage is of course more to the benefit of tom , but it benefits the two of them as well because at the time of the union , they had the same ambitions. they wanted the same things , and they were focused on the same goals. bella is still up in arms about it , but more so about the marriage itself and the fact that not even she , protege of voldemort , is able to evade the horrid tradition. but she and rod are still friends. and more importantly , they are partners and allies. they aren’t focused on raising a family , they’re focused on raising an army , and whatever may come of that , the foundation still holds. 

and in his canon verse , rod becomes comfortable in his role. he gets to do what he wants , bella gets to do what she wants , and they both reap the benefits of being in tom’s inner circle although those benefits differ between the two. and eventually they grow to love each other , which bella is still bitter about lmao , but it isn’t a love that looks like any other. they aren’t overly romantic and head over heels or anything , but they care for one another. they look out for one another. they worry about getting the both of them home. and they call the other out on their bullshit always. 

most of all , they’re honest with each other and with themselves. tom and bella will always take precedence for bella , and the brothers lestrange will always take precedence for rod ( and narcissa takes precedence for both , but anyway ) , and they have a comfortable understanding. they trust and respect each other , and while they can still be selfish , they accept that about each other.