#i've spent so long thinking about this
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I talked last week about how everyone freezes at the point of their lives that Kawi jumps from and stay stuck there in the future he sees (shoutout to @rocketturtle4). This week, we got confirmation through Pear and Kwan.
Kwan, who was in a no strings attached relationship with Not, knowing that he doesn't feel the same way, unable to say what she was feeling... where she stayed 12 years later up until Not and Pear's wedding.
And Pear, who was struggling with her relationship with her mother... @dribs-and-drabbles put it perfectly: "she wants to build the life for her own children that she never got herself. She wants to have the relationship her parents didn’t have, and wants to have the mother/daughter relationship she never got."
Pear, who knew how Not felt about her, who in the last timeline we saw went directly to him for what she needed when what she wanted was no longer working out for her.
And this week, within the little time Kawi spent not jumping ahead, they both got themselves unstuck. Kwan's feelings are out in the open and she has a definitive answer. Not is a terrible, terrible man, but it was a very similar conversation to the one between Pisaeng and Pear when Pisaeng finally let her down, giving her the chance to move on.
Pear, too, has finally said what she's feeling about her mother out loud
And realised it's not the best response. But with it out in the open now, she can also start to deal with it.
It's about catharsis. A good old fashioned 'let it all out and you'll feel better'. (@waitmyturtles I went down a little bit of a rabbit hole reading about Aristotelian catharsis and Hegel's preference of reconciliation and the overlap between the two to the point where I almost forgot what I wanted to say here. I'm going to leave the philosophers to you and read too deep into this episode instead - but like you mentioned here, another philosopher? potentially???)
And it's not the first time we're seeing this happen. It happens with Pisaeng.
I've been trying to figure out a way to talk about Pisaeng in episode 5 and how I don't think he went through an oh moment, but instead was making an effort to be truer to himself. He's said since the beginning
But how can he do that when he can't be open about himself, with himself, and around other people?
It's why there is so much of a focus on the "how are you feeling today?' sign and not just the rainbow flag. Because that is a question Pisaeng needs to be able to answer honestly. And when he's holding back so much of himself - largely due to his mother (see @bengiyo talk about Pisaeng's mom here) - he can't answer that question. Not until he talks to Max
Where his biggest hesitation comes when Max asks him what he shouldn't get the wrong idea about. Because Pisaeng's problem is that he can't say.
What's happening to him isn't that he's having a gay awakening - no, that happened a long time ago
What's happening to him now is that he likes someone and he's not sure when it happened. And him being unable to talk about it, being unable to let himself be in a gay club is not okay with him. Because if he can't be open with himself, how can he take care of someone else openly.
The moment he's able to say it to himself, he confesses to Kawi. And look at him at the club before and after
That's catharsis baybeeee.
And it also happens with Kawi - keeps happening with Kawi, actually. From the very beginning.
It starts with the first thing Kawi does when he sees his father again in what he thinks is a dream
He tells him he loves him (something they never used to do) and literally lets it all out, crying in his father's arms.
Kawi not being able to save his father isn't the biggest tragedy for me. Because he went back and didn't just tell his father that he loved him, he had a relationship with him. He showed him he loved him, apologised for the moments he regrets, looked out for him, made an effort to do something for him instead of just sitting there and letting him die - supported him.
It's still a tragedy, yes. But it's much less of one than we saw in the beginning.
Kawi doing things he always wanted to, just because he thinks it's a dream. That's catharsis too. Because for once he's actually letting out his thoughts and feelings.
When he calls his dad and apologises because he thinks he's a terrible person
There's a tragic sort of catharsis in there. Acknowledging what he doesn't like about himself because now he can move on from it, be a better person. And I think this scene was very carefully placed because it's immediately after this that Kawi goes and apologises to Pisaeng. It's after this that Kawi goes and begs Pear's dad for help. After this that Kawi convinces his father to be selfish for once and use his life savings for himself. (this scene should NOT have been deleted. but shoutout to @respectthepetty for finding it)
Talking about things, apologising, actually acknowledging what is wrong and making an effort to fix it, it's all catharsis. Especially for Kawi, when he spent all his time in the original timeline completely shut down, having done nothing with his life.
We even see a certain level of catharsis in Pear's mom. @dribs-and-drabbles pointed out the life and colour literally bursting out of her art. It's her expressing herself again - letting it all out - when that expression had disappeared from her life. It's a celebration where she had been struggling for so long.
And the culmination of it all so far is Kawi telling Pisaeng that he's worried about the negative effect he's having on other people's lives, for Pisaeng to come in and comfort him. Even when Kawi comes back from the last time jump, knowing he's coming back to his father's death, he comes back to Pisaeng's support.
It's about talking and letting it all out, and letting other people in.
#is this coherent#i've spent so long thinking about this#i'm just posting this and going to bed#it's everyone else's problem now#be my favorite#be my favorite series#I LOVE THIS SHOW OKAY
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hey so i actually have a question regarding acxas childhood like what are your headcanons on it? i always got the feeling that she grew up with her non galra parent/species and was sort of treated as an outsider for being half galra (i mean naturally considering that they most likely invaded their planet but yeah of course it was a terrible experience that definitely contributed/was the main factor of acxas inner turmoil) and it would make sense as to why she would seek out lotor and his vision of the empire for acceptance there if she cant find it here(?) this is just my thoughts im curious abt what u think
In canon, we get very little of Acxa's backstory, and it's all localized to personal anecdotes by Acxa herself in the Grudge. She tells Veronica she's "born and bred in war" which is both very specific and also extraordinarily vague.
For one, we know what happens in war. I don't think Acxa was born from a loving relationship that's for sure. "Bred in" is more specific - she didn't grow up learning about war, she was in the thick of it. This is why I don't buy headcanons that put her in military school or that she was raised by her galran family. She mentions survival - which yeah in a particularly militaristic society such as the galra, death is probably very easy to come by but again it goes back to war - she's not in training for war she was in the war. This is why I suspect she grew up in a warzone. Specifically, one in immense chaos and disarray. I do think cause of her heritage - being half galra - it denied her any form of community connections that could have existed amongst her colonized people.
And that's another clue btw. Acxa identifies as galra. This is a repeated motif throughout the series. When Lotor rages about wiping out all the galra, she immediately sees that as a signal to go, cause in her mind that includes her. In contrast to Lotor, who while strongly identifying more with his Altean side, would posture himself sometimes as Galran. Acxa never is shown identifying with her non-Galran side. In the conversation with Veronica, she refers to the Galra as "her people" never one-half or anything like that.
Instead, what we get in the Grudge, is Acxa being discriminated for being Galran, not her other race. It's an interesting choice on the writers' part. That's what gets her upset. I don't think it's coincidental that in the next scene with her and Veronica, we learn of Acxa's backstory and her experience. I'd say it's deliberate. And ff that is her experience, if she grew up receiving those types of insults, well it makes sense that she takes it to heart so quickly.
Finally, we should talk about how she mentions how she "became worse than her enemies" to survive. Presumably her enemies in a warzone would be the Galra - imperialists, they also discriminate against her (Throk; the Galran obsession with racial purity). Alternatively, her enemies would be the non-galrans who discriminated against her, but I think she refers to the Galra here specifically cause she was a general she directed armies, she is complicit in the death of soldiers, of conquering nations. That is worse than what many of the Galran footsoldiers did, even if she actively avoids killing anyone directly if possible.
There is also Acxa in her discussion with Zethrid later in the episode, mentions her hate and rage and how that is fueled by how the Galra rejected her.
This, I think supports the idea that her enemies were the Galra in this case, that is, the Galra that wouldn't take her in. If she is Galra (which is something I imagine she grew up being told, told by the family she was born to through conquest), she was never apart of her non-galran people to begin with. So where she had to fight, whom she had to fight, to get a place in society is within the Galra - cause she had no chance in hell happening in her non-galran people. With that, "worse than her enemies" carries a distinct flavor of "okay so if I'm Galra, I'm going to be worse than them." Cause otherwise, she'll die. Cause she's not one of them. She'll never be one of them. So she'll be the worst of the Galra if means being at a place for change within them to accept people like her that wouldn't fit in in other places.*
And I agree anon, that Acxa sought out Lotor for acceptance in a way. Lotor was the perfect paragon of what she believed - Half-galra like her, but also distinctly Galran. It's obvious she has the bare minimum of a moral code - she draws the line at genocide (she's very nervous btw, when Lotor admits to killing Alteans, and cuts ties when he mentions doing the same or worse to the Galra)
But she didn't know about that originally.
So yeah that's a lot of buildup to say - I agree a lot with what you say anon. I do think she grew up in an environment that rejected her wholeheartedly - that would make sense, if it was her non-Galran side that under trauma, fully rejects children born from that occupation. So she identifies with the people who would "take her in" or she believes that could be changed - maybe her non-Galran side cannot be sway otherwise cause of the occupation, but the Galran can be changed. I wouldn't be surprised if thinking the Galra could be changed is a rationalization on her part even - maybe she argued with her non-galran parent, who insisted they cannot change, cause they are monsters. That Acxa herself is a monster. Which is exactly her insecurity in the Grudge. That kind of thinking can be fed only by growing up around her non-Galran heritage who were occupied by the Galra. If she can change the Galra, then she isn't a monster too, proving those people wrong.
So yes, I do agree a lot with what you say here anon, maybe some details off (I do think if she grew up with her non-Galran parent, it might be a short while or with very detached parenting, as she mentions surviving without mentioning her parents. I don't think she knew her Galran parent, which I imagine would be her father if only that a Galran female commander would get an abortion or Acxa'd been raised among the Galra, which wouldn't add up with her insecurities).
*This is so Baru Cormorant flavored. Man Acxa you should've been a protagonist in a Lesbian Space Atrocity novel.
#d asks#Anonymous#Acxa#vld#my analysis#my meta#my headcanons#I'm so mad that I never saved a copy of Acxa's whole speech to Zethrid#kicking myself for that oversight years later#also OP I love this question so much#I've spent so long thinking about this#made a thread about it on bird app
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A little touch of Miles in the night
Do you think about this Michael Sheen post as often as I do?
Cause...you can see what he meant here, right? Comparing Aziraphale (especially this Aziraphale, with this boa) to Miles Maitland. Comparing two Sheens with twenty years between them.
And it's not just a boa. They are so...them. Gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Dramatic. Flamboyant. You can see this similarity in their energy in these particular moments.
And yet...is it all? Or there is something else?
Spoilers for "Bright Young Things" under the cut. tw:homophobia, just in case.
You remember what happened to Miles in the end of his storyline? To sweet, frivolous, charming Miles?
The police got Miles' letters to his ex-lover. It was 1930s, and one piece of paper with love confessions inside could lead you to prison. So he had to leave for France to avoid arrest, without even really packing his things. And it's happened just before WW2, so his further fate in soon-to-be occupied France was...unclear, let's say that.
And you know what's happening to our angel here?
He's so silly and happy. He's spending the night with a demon he just recently realized to be madly in love with. Crowley trusts him - as he showed in another round of their peculiar roleplay. He was able to be a terrible magician for one evening. This is a perfect evening, right? He's happy and is ready to share this happiness with the whole world.
There is knock in the door. In this second Aziraphale is beaming and shouts "Enter!".
The next second the door will be opened. Hell is gonna come into the dressing room. Hell that has evidence of an impossible, criminal connection. Hell, ready to trample not only over this second joy, not just this evening - but all past and possible future evenings too. Ready to destroy all of Crowley, and with him, all of Aziraphale.
All thanks to one piece of paper.
……. It was good that Aziraphale knew that trick with the photograph, wasn't it? After all, he and Crowley have nowhere to run to within the confines of Earth - the jurisdiction of Heaven and Hell is somewhat wider than that of an English court.
#good omens#good omens season 2#good omens s2#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#good omens meta#michael sheen#miles maitland#I wrote this post ages ago#I've wanted to translate it into English for a long time but never had enough patience#but I spent last night thinking about...stuff so it suddenly felt fitting to do it
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spoiler warning for monkey man?
i'm probably never going to be able to stop talking about monkey man but let's just start with the ending.
Characters who can't outlive their narrative destroy me. But here's the thing – I think traditionally we do a poor job conveying the point of the trope. It'll read more like this character, who's only ever wanted to accomplish one thing, dies immediately after they accomplish it – and what's left is a story with a character-sized hole in it. It feels mostly like despair and hopelessness because it feels like the character never got to experience peace. The character, so wrapped up in anger, fear, sadness, etc – never experiences just being on the other side of this chasm they built for themselves.
There's a critical difference between characters who can't outlive their narrative and characters who won't. Characters who won't outlive their narrative can still have dreams, plans – the heartbreak is real because they saw a life for themselves on the other side and they'll never get to experience it. But most of the time we treat characters who can't outlive their narrative in the same way, and filmmakers trust that we as the audience suspend our disbelief and hope for the characters to have an epilogue.
Bobby/Kid/Dev Patel never had plans for what's next. We saw barely-there flashes of who he must be outside of his avenging mission, enough to cobble together this idea that yes, he deserves so much more. But it was evident from the first second of this film that there was nothing waiting for him on the other side. Bobby/Kid/Dev Patel could have never survived the narrative. There was no reality of an after for him after he avenged his mother – no practical way for him to build a new life. But in those last seconds, when he turned to the mural depicting the carnage of Hanuman and he had the far-away thought that it was over, we saw Dev Patel channel this relief in this doomed character.
We as an audience exhale with the character, we feel the release from his duty the same way he does.
He falls, the camera follows his center of gravity, and the screen cuts to black. The narrative begins and ends with him. He begins and ends with this narrative.
#monkey man#dev patel#i've maybe definitely spent too long thinking about this movie#doomed by the narrative#but also dooms the narrative?#i just love this movie so much
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On the note of the snippet I posted. Ultimately what makes me go batshit insane about the Sith is that it's truly not about the magic of it all. It's about people being hurt and hurting others in turn.
What it is to become a Sith is to enmesh yourself, forever, in pain. It's at the very forefront of the doctrine, but even ignoring the mentality of it, on the basest level it is about physical and emotional pain. In agreeing to be an apprentice, you're agreeing to years of torture. You're agreeing to anything your master chooses to subject you to; they themselves have suffered as you have and they're chomping at the bit to inflict it upon you too. They have convinced themselves this pain has made them strong, but it has only made them vindictive.
Becoming a Sith is not about becoming powerful. It's about surviving the sheer horror of the training itself and convincing yourself survival is the same as control, that it's the same as power. It's about taking the seething, burning hatred you feel for the person who has tortured you and passing it onto your student, and repeating this for centuries. It's about licking your own wounds, not only the physical but those of centuries of disgraced Sith before you, hiding in the shadiest corners of the galaxy with no one but the person you hate most and believe you owe everything to.
The Sith are fundamentally pathetic, fundamentally impotent, fundamentally miserable, and it simply cannot be extricated from the mess of it all
#at the end of the day i truly can't help but feel bad for them#because damn. get some help. break that cycle. i believe in you#can you tell i've spent WAY too long thinking about the scene in which palpatine is tortured by plagueis and going Oh.#So that's not a palpatine thing huh. that's just a sith thing#personal#star wars#star wars meta#star wars analysis#palpatine#sheev palpatine#sw palpatine#palpatine star wars#star wars palpatine#darth plagueis#darth vader#count dooku#darth maul#sw sith#star wars sith#sith#the force#fandom: star wars#type: meta
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An eye for a life, unquestionably worth it (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Siffrin#Bonnie#Blood#It's been *checks watch* nine months??? since I last drew an empty eye socket???#Not even ZEX got that treatment how could this be :0 It's such a Look#I guess it's only been a couple months since I posted Diaryfic!Edgar but that was drawn a while ago - Sif is new and fresh blood <3#I'm sure they're stoked about it lol sorry Sif#That really was my entire motivation I just wanted to draw eye horror and blood on him lol poor Sif#But also I got to practice Bonnie :D Again I'm sure they're stoked about the situation#Gosh that'd be such a scary situation for a kid :'0 And feeling guilty about it weh </3#Their name being called and it's scary and sad even tho Sif's just trying to comfort! Weh#If I thought about it in a Bit less of an angst mood (lol) I imagine the other adults would flock to Sif both to protect/help him#But also to keep him out of Bonnie's line of sight - the less time spent looking the less traumatic hopefully :(#There's something Very about Sif getting blood - his own or anyone's really - on his cloak :0#Something he's had for a long long time and Something Happens - it's just Very I dunno of what but Very#Really fun to draw the black and white blood splatter ♪ Shaped character design paired with soft details ah <3#I've been really into that hazy fuzzy eye style lately too it's really fun to ''tone'' the eye rather than ''line'' it#It's not something I think about that much so I don't do it often! But it's quite effective :D
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Creature comforts
#spent a long time fiddling with the colors and then discovered how lovely it looks in monochrome#anyways auuuuuuuuughhhhh these two are all i can think about#my art#my ocs#splatoon#trito#kinoga#splatoon ocs#octoling#I've been drawing trito so sad lately...............gwah..................#painting#tritonoga
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I'm glad you're evil too - Pinocchio-P
#end roll#russell seager#chris (end roll)#chrissell#my art#LONG TIME NO CHRISSELL#not for lack of trying bc holy frick this took FOREVER to do#it is !!! the first pic in my plans to illustrate a questionably large portion of the playlist i'm making for them. SWEATS#(which i'll def share too once i'm satisfied enough)#been really hyped for just about all of them coming after this tho so i hope it goes well 😳#i have uhhh over 10 thumbnails done already i think#everything else was more easily inspired and should be a lot more approachable#so look forward to more of that hopefully more quickly than this took WHEEZE#i just upgraded to csp v3 so i can now say with tangibility that i spent over 20 hours 'finishing up' alone sob#just REALLY wanted to get it done first bc it's def the best opener#also gonna confess that i stole this particular song association from someone else associating it w them already#i've known of the song for a long time but had never listened to it super closely before
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I wanted to draw them again so yeah
#shep arts#empires smp#esmp#flower husbands#scott smajor#jimmy solidarity#esmp au#(<- kinda its not a serious thing just a silly au i made for I want to draw silly things purposes)#once again I spent far too long trying to figure out the playground section in a park…#i am thinking about them so much I've made a fanfic in my brain but i absolutely will not write it <3#i did draw scott in a jacket based on xornoth intentionally... i think its silly to imply that he just steals xor's clothes
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ms paint doodles for @post-it-notes7 's fic series, heart and soul. i highly recommend it to anyone that either likes the kirby anime or meta knight bc it's a delight to read :]
#kirby#meta knight#galacta knight#fanart#hoshi no kaabii#krbay#iyd spoilers#IYD#ms paint#arttag#galadoodles#ok most of them are doodles. the strawberry and blueberry drawings started as a ''haha its meta and galacta :)''#but at one point it turned into rendering practice#idk what happened#kirby fanart#id included#i've been wanting to show off those stupid fruits for so long. i spent an entire morning on the strawberry alone#i was literally about to post this when my blog got put in jail#one second my icon was normal. i refresh the page and boom#he's gone#anyway. go read wishful thinking and in your dreams <3333333#edit: it's almost midnight and i just realised i wrote heavily instead of highly..... this is why we don't make drafts at 3 am#uhm anyway. fun fact. i wanted to draw the thats paint asshole meme but i was tired#so i put the images og GK and MK there as placeholders#but in the end i got too lzy to like. actually draw it lol
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(forbidden) love, secrets, memories and regrets in am's 'tranquility base hotel and casino'
#can anyone hear me. CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEEE#i've been thinking so much about the star treatment + 4/5 bits these past few days i thought i might as well put a whole post together#btw going through all the lyrics hurt so much. my boy was not well for real he was being consumed by The Longing TM#(and mental issues too) (press f to pay respects for my favourite repressed boy)#anyway yeah </333333#dont let this flop i spent way too much time researching the lyrics and making sure the images would fit with tumblr's stupid 10-pic rule#my posts#inspiration posts#alex turner#arctic monkeys#tbhc#tranquility base hotel and casino#am i doing this#am i really tagging this#milex#yeah i guess so. no ragrets#[deserved gunshots]
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Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist
#Anyways I'mma put the actual inane ramblings in the tags#Medic and Engie make me so ill every time I think about them for a while I feel like tearing into things and biting people and throwing up#How something like that can exist completely defies me#I don't know how something that perfect can exist#I'm typically a multi-shipper and while I still kinda am I honest to god don't really care to write other ships#Not cause they ain't good (they are pretty damn good) but because Engiemedic is just on another level#Like dammnnn!! that's why I've spent so long writing a fic about them!#I can't fathom it honestly how characters like that can exist#They're like a slightly warped reflection of themselves#They're both intelligent mentally ill lunatics with no morals whatsoever#The only thing is that Engie is marginally better at hiding it#If you go into headcanon territory than WHOO!! OHH DAMNNN#Like what gets me the most about Engiemedic is how they're so similar#They think and exist on the same wavelength#In tune with each other. Their neurons braided like wires#If I start talking about how the machine and the flesh are not opposites but rather one in the same we gonna be here all day#I just can't...believe the ship exists#Like man how does this happen#You want humour? Goofy wacky experiments and silliness of them violating several conventions#You want angst? Hell yeah they've got plenty of it#Fluff? Buddy I start wailing and sobbing if they accidentally brush hands while working on stuff#I could write about them for ages and not get bored they can fit in every circumstance#They make me SICK they make me CRAZY I love them so so much#They would do anything for each other#I look at what they have and I can feel like I understand what love is#I need to write more oneshots and minifics about them they're so flexiable and fun#Can't wait to do parallels with them in these upcoming chapters#Either way GODDDDD I love these two so much I could go on for hours about them#especially if I'm allowed to talk about headcanons#sp-rambles
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I've seen so many interesting and fun greek myth ships over the years both divine and mortal supported by text and just for fun, and yet I fear tonight, I will be throwing my hat into the ring as a propagator of niche greek myth ships because like, no seriously how is Aristaeus/Dionysus not already thing.
#ginger rambles#pursuing daybreak posting#my toxic trait is DEFINITELY the hoops I went through to justify this ship in my work LMFAO#“Oh Dionysus has a wealth of established lovers you could've used why give him Aristaeus” Buddy Friend Amigo Pal Pardner#have any of those lovers spent a considerable time teaching Dionysus the art of brewing only to lose to him#and have your long held position as the heavens' drinks guy be uprooted because Dionysus made balling wine using the techniques#you painstakingly taught him? Yeah I didn't think so#In general I think more people should think about Aristaeus because he is SUCH an interesting god#also he and Dionysus have the whole contentious birth and godhood thing going on which is nice#also despite both being rustics they occupy pretty different spaces meaning they can co-exist without it being a strict syncratic thing#I mean Aristaeus was identified with Dionysus and Apollo but like his identity apart from them is also pretty clear and defined#which is really really fun#these tags were supposed to be about Aristaeus/Dionysus but really I just want to spread Aristaeus propaganda#god he's SO COOL I wish more people talked about him#yeah I can talk about him but I've been thinking about and researching him for years I wanna hear other people's rad ass opinions!!#also in case it's not clear the ship is not a mythological thing - mythologically Aristaeus is Dionysus' uncle and sometimes#his foster father/one of his instructors in the rustic arts or the other way around in terms of teaching it varies#people: Aristaeus is the bee guy what else is there to say#me breathing heavily: well aCTUALLY --
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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my mom is gonna own her very own house for the first time in her life within the next week. so crazy to think about
#it actually has enough bedroom for us to all have our own#i'll get to choose the color of my walls for the first time!!#and hang up art on the walls and make it really really my own#it's so odd to think about these days#because i've been a lot more removed from home and my family this semester#i never even looked at the house listing until last night#i think i'm distancing myself from it for some reason#not sure why but#i'm still excited#it's not super nice looking on the outside#and not really the best location either#but it'll be ours for the first time since over ten years ago#we are so lucky!!!#we spent so so long looking at houses and it's so difficult to find something affordable and close and big enough for our family#so this one was definitely a compromise#not very close to much and not super nice looking#but it fits us and it'll be ours!#so yeah. we are so lucky#. >> mari says shit !
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Some further chapter 235 thoughts
Alright, a little disclaimer before I get carried away: this may and chances are will in some ways contradict my thoughts from when I last talked about it here. Right after the spoilers came out my thinking was driven by emotion, and before I got a chance to sit down and shape my opinion properly, the emotion was what defined it. I guess I shouldn't have written it down in the first place, as all I really did was allowed my feelings to get the better of me and judged the situation biased. My bad, really,,
With that out of the way, my opinion has shifted since, and as I've come to see it, there's at least one important thing that Sukuna vs Gojo fight did, and that is precisely cementing Gojo's position as the strongest. It's already a pre-established truth when we enter the story, but it's put into question with Sukuna finding a way out of his seal through Yuuji consuming that finger. Sukuna merely being brought back to existence is already enough to challenge Gojo's title. Is Satoru Gojo rightfully the pinnacle of Jujutsu, or is he, as Sukuna brags, just somebody who is considered the strongest when the King of Curses wasn't around to provide a contrast? Is he the most powerful sorcerer of all eras, or is he simply the one of his time, comparatively mild and peaceful? Two characters getting to be named the only honoured one throughout heaven and earth is an explicit contradiction, so how could both statements be true at the same time? These were the questions hanging in the air from the beginning, looming over both the audience and the characters' heads, and Gege undoubtedly has been laying the groundwork for Gojo and Sukuna's confrontation since the very start. So as much as I or anybody else may dislike it, the purpose of this fight was never solely to rescue Megumi. The debate over who should claim the title of the all-time strongest had come into question long before the necessity to save Megumi entered the equasion, it's been a thread unravelling itself throughout the whole narrative. If Gojo's arc is about to reach its conclusion, that could only be possible with this uncertainty dispelled. Now that we have a concrete answer, the narrative can move on from there.
What's also been a reappearing idea in the manga since the outset, is the notion that the strength positions individual's value in Jujutsu society, brought to us from perspectives of various characters. However, it's not the strength alone which defines one's place, or rather it's not all kinds of strength that are accepted as valuable and deserving of admiration. In actuality, what really matters is how well the person in question fits into the conventional image, which is backed up by centuries of tradition followed by those in charge. Otherwise the instances when extremely powerful in their own ways individuals are driven out to the outskirts of society just because they don't fit into the mold of traditionalistic beliefs enough wouldn't be present in the narrative, we just wouldn't have characters like Toji and Maki. The moral of their stories is, essentially, that in order to be recognized as an individual and have at least some singnificant say when it comes to making decisions in the Jujutsu world, you need to uphold a standard.
And by whom is that standard set?
My thoughts keep circling back to what Gakuganji once said regarding the defining forces in their society which Grade 1 sorcerers are, whereas Special Grades are rather 'something of a misrepresentation'. I guess those who are assigned Grade 1 really do have a greater influence on the world around them, and that is not due to their strength, but rather because they're setting an ideal for those below them in the hierarchical order. They're better fit to serve as role models, and in society where climbing to the top is a way to ensure survival, younger and less experienced sorcerers have no choice but to look up to those who thrive, seeking a way to achieve it, too. The strong get to dictate the standard, yes, but it's still essential that they uphold said standard themselves, providing an example. This even finds a reflection in the procedure of promotion. One needs to be deemed worthy upon receiving recommendations, and that requires having characteristics which fall in line with what is conventionally approved of. So while Gojo is considered the strongest of his generation, he is not, paradoxically, the most powerful player in the field, not in terms of political and influential significance. Not when he displays a mindset that is a stand-alone against traditional beliefs held by the absolute majority. That is a contradiction pointed out by Sukuna in early chapters: he finds it amusing that someone so strong plays by somebody else's rules.
How is all that relevant to the importance of Gojo winning the fight?
As we know, Special Grades tend to be lone wolves, too vastly outnumbered for their voice to be heard clearly. For instance, who in the Jujutsu world knows of Yuki's research and what fruit it bears, what insight into the nature of cursed energy her investigation provides? She's stigmatized for being a delinquent (I think it's no coincidence that the only thing Geto heard about her was how she didn't carry out her duties as a sorcerer), the work of her life going unnoticed with her death. It might be a complicated way for me to get to the point, but what I'm trying to say is that Gojo, as recognizable within sorcerer's society as he is, probably isn't that different from Yuki. No one really remembers his goals when asked to describe him. He's the strongest, and that's the only lingering impression of him. By coming out of this fight triumphant and therefore cementing his position on the top of Jujutsu society, Gojo makes sure he will be remembered -- just like Sukuna is still remembered, even though centuries have passed since he was at the peak of his power. With surpassing the King of Curses under his belt, Gojo's name is now set in stone, and so is his example for the future generations. This means Gojo's ideology will outlive him, and even if his beliefs might seem delusional as of now, it doesn't mean this won't change in the years to follow. Because the adequacy of one or the other set of ideas can only be measured by the context of society they exist in, and now that society has a stimulus to reconstruct itself, adapting to the views of someone who's proven himself ultimately superior judging by its own standarts. So yes, in the end Gojo and Sukuna both fought for the sake of proving they could win, but while Sukuna was after personal gain in terms of self-affirmation and growth, I'd argue that for Gojo it was rather about setting an example.
Now, to once again address my previous thoughts and how they've changed, I no longer think it's Gojo's loneliness that should be breached in order to bring about change. Gojo's being lonely is converted into somewhat of a symbol by the narrative, and, using a little bit of metaphor here, symbols should remain static, unchanged in order to carry meaning. In that sense Gojo still represents the flawed past which the main characters of the manga need to break away from, making him the last strong sorcerer forced to fight alone and trapped in his own position. Gojo as a side character needs to stay at least in some ways inferior for the protagonists of the story to outshine him, claiming the spotlight back. After all, it's all about giving way to the new generation, and Gojo himself acknowledges it well. He as a sorcerer of the previous, older generation is too well-ingrained in that very society which the whole narrative focuses on deconstructing. It's about surpassing your predecessors, and if anything, making sure his students will do so is Gojo's main goal as a teacher.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk meta#jjk analysis#gojo satoru#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 235#twelve hours long working shifts do funny things to my brain#i spent the whole day alone with poor internet connection yesterday#and brainrot crept back in#i've been thinking a lot recently about what gege plans for the next chapter#and in what direction the story will go from there#the thing is#something as significant as gojo and sukuna's fight cannot end in vain for the story#so it got me thinking#and as a consequence i ended up reconsidering almost everything i had in mind before#but anyways i really hope we'll get back on with kenjaku's shenanigans now#and what uraume's been up to this whole time#and stick to the main crew's perspective again#i miss my darling boy yuuji#and nobara#and megumi...#arguably it's not gojo's job to bring megumi back#it's what the main characters are for
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