#i've had it. officially lol
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this is no disrespect to either of you three anons, so please don't feel like this is me trying to be a bitch.
but oh my GOD i don't care lol
i'll just say everything i feel about this here and then be done with it.
ms singer was a girl colby went on a few dates with, and was done "dating" her by like halloween or a little bit after. he didn't even know malia until sam's bday, so it's not like he left ms singer for her. ms singer herself has said she's on good terms with colby and that she has no hard feelings for malia, it's katelyn she has issues with.
colby unfollowing her on her bday was not done maliciously. he just unfollowed her, most likely, bc he has unfollowed every girl he either a, dated/had a fling with or b, found hot. shock and awe to absolutely no one, she falls into that category.
but also she's STILL talking about her beef with katelyn. and look, she has every right to talk about it as long as she wants to. i'm not here to say she can't vent. but let's be real for two seconds: first and foremost, fans are egging this on and we all know that. anyone that wants to argue otherwise is just plainly ignoring what is happening. ppl go on her tiktok lives just to ask her about katelyn so she can start complaining about her yet again. and the only reason fans want more tea on katelyn is bc they hate her bc she's not kat. full stop, full transparency, that's why that's happening. yall don't like tess; you just like that she gives you tea on a girl you hate bc she maybe once shaded kat when in reality if you have more than one brain cell you would know that's not what she did. stop being so up kat's ass that you think everyone is out to get her.
and secondly, tess can complain - sure. but she is talking about real ppl that are now dealing with real hate. it's the whole fuck around and find out method. keep talking shit on someone, and someone close to them (ie colby) is gonna stop fucking with you. why is this a surprise to anyone?
and i'm not here to say that katelyn is innocent. don't mistake me for that. i'm just saying, if katelyn was a shitty friend to her, then that's a shame. but the beef is very much between the two or them, and not us. stop egging it on for content reasons, or for twitter threads, or for whatever weird reason yall try to justify in your head this all for.
not only this, but colby and ms singer only dated MAX a month, but i don't even think that's the case fully. they went on a couple dates and stayed cordial. some of these fans are acting like he blocked his bestie or something. they remained friendly with one another bc things didn't end badly between them. they don't have to have loyalty towards one another, that includes colby. this isn't some betrayal. he unfollowed bc he's taken now, and she's still talking about his best friend's gf. it's really that simple.
dear god, all of this is such hs drama bs and i'm so tired of hearing about it, honestly. i'm too old to go back to my hs self who would have throughly enjoyed this drama. but seriously, can we find literally anything else to talk about??? i'm actually begging at this point.
and colby didn't unfollow ms singer bc malia told him to. he did it bc he wanted to. he's a grown man, as many on twitter love to point out every time he does something they deem as childish. why do you think this is any different?
also, sam and kat pretended to be besties after the break up. let's be real here. there clearly was some awkward tension left between them, but if they told the fandom they were going no contact and never talking again except maybe in passing, ww3 would have started. so they remained cordial to be appease fans (and probably themselves in one way or another). and realistically, kat probably made sam unfollow her (by blocking him/muting him/removing him as a follower) bc the day she did that was after pics of him and katelyn leaked from new years. realistically she probably wasn't thrilled about that and needed some space. it also didn't help that the khakis personified that is sam golbach decided to like a tweet that she made saying how nice her spotify top five looked without the "take a look at my bf" song, which CLEARLY WAS ABOUT HIM. he got his ass blocked after that, and rightfully so lmao
i would like to request - respectfully to all anons going forward - to stop bringing up ms singer, shea, and stas. hell, throw kat in there too. i don't care enough about any of them to hear what's happening about them. i'm tired of talking about them. some of them i've been talking about for years, i've said my piece on them countless times, and i just want something else to talk about. bc it's always the same stories over and over again and i just cannot care about it any longer.
also, since i might as well throw this in too, if you genuinely think snc are malicious in any compacity - STOP WATCHING THEM. why are you here if you genuinely think colby is a slutty manwhore who fucks anything that moves and is malicious and a shitty friend and whatever other random nonsense you think he is?? why are you here if you think sam is a terrible boyfriend who's also a bit of creep and has as shitty gf and again, whatever random other shit you believe???? why are you here???? you don't like snc anymore, and yet you waste your time talking about them. what you really like is the tea that comes from them and the ppl they have surrounded themselves with. i implore you to log off and find a hobby or a content creator you ACTUALLY like.
(also none of this was really directed at yall. more so the fandom et large. sorry if it felt like i was yelling at you guys. wasn't what i was trying to do here lol)
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For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
#i felt weird putting this in there so I didnt but I've also received recognition for excellence in writing#and was nominated as a fan favorite on webtoon canvas...#so like not only do i work super hard but its just really good!#im not ashamed of claiming that i think my work is well done. if i didn't think i was doing a good job why would i do it#buuuut. something about being like please read my comic im literally so good at comics feels weird to me#even though i think that. in my brain#i dont want to imply that there is some objective or tangible goodness to my work simply for receiving some accolades#its nothing other than some accolades. whether or not someone likes it is up to them#so i guess to me it just feels superfluous#but genuinely I love my comics...#i re read them all the time. and i enjoy them!#theres things i would change and probably will change when i go to print#but i did what I could with the time and energy I had#and when it comes back... oh boy.#my friends have agreed its the best stuff ive ever written. it's literally so good...#im so excited to share.#still not fully ready to officially commit to the return date#but i am gunning for it!#webcomics#webtoon#time and time again#its my birthday!#idk wtf to tag this as. im 27 now...#read my comic#LOL
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title: Jacob's Ladder (read on ao3)
rating: G
summary: Digging for scraps in order to survive another barren winter, the boys find something far more precious than a space heater. The baby they pick up might not keep them warm, but he gives them something far more important: a reason to fight for the future.
inspired by this amazing art by @tapakah0 !
Dawn crawled into morning, sun peeking over the horizon, shining pale light on the razed town. Mounts of piled destruction littered the broken streets, heaping around the cracked and folded-together asphalt. Homes stood here, once, but now only skeletons remained, a glimpse of a simpler past found in the bright pink bike handle peeking out from under fallen walls, its purple glitter tassel rustling in a barely-there breeze.
Leo dug his hands deeper into the pile of debris he was sitting on. Sharp edges threatened to nick his hands, but he ignored the almost painful scrape against his scales.
Winter was almost at their doorstep, Autumn rolling further into dark, further into cold. Barely any snow fell anymore, but the nights and days had gotten more cutting, the cold had grown sharper teeth. If they wanted to make it through the coming season, they needed supplies. Clothes, blankets, machinery that Donnie could fix up or use to make new, better ones. Anything that would keep them alive and, if they were lucky, somewhat comfortable.
Rays of sun filtered from behind wispy clouds, finally finding him and his brothers. They brought him no warmth.
Leo tossed a broken phone – snapped clean in two and hanging on by force of will alone, the top and bottom parts crushed up almost past the point of being recognizable – over his shoulder. It clattered down the hill and onto the street below, where it either lay still, flat at the bottom of the pile, or disappeared into one of the giant cracks in the road. The noise echoed, only for a moment, and then all was quiet again, the only sound the scraping of concrete as their two strongest moved giant slabs out of the way, and the grind of small stones, wood, and whatever else was buried in the pile where he and Donnie were digging for scraps.
It was dull – almost oppressive, the silence that clung to his family. To himself, too, now, far too often. Sure, they still laughed, they still found comfort in each other, they were still there, but it was almost like they were muted, and Leo's fingers itched to turn the brightness back up. The need to speak, to fill the unbearable quiet, bubbled in his chest and clawed up his throat. Sometimes Leo ignored it, this pressing urge, swallowed it back and pushed it down, hoping it would settle and ease. But sometimes he couldn't suppress it, the sight and lack of sound too heavy to endure.
A laugh, at the very least, would sound heavenly right now.
So he sighed, and he groaned, drawn-out and grossly exaggerated, and tossed his head onto his shoulder to look at Donnie, working diligently next to him. Leo's arms were still buried, half-way up to his elbows, in the debris.
"There's nothing but junk here."
He might've counted the familiar pull of Donnie's scowl as his first, small step towards victory, if Donnie's tone wasn't so tight.
"Of course it's all junk." Leo twitched at the edge that sharpened the words. "But it's your job to find the parts that aren't total scrap and give them to me so I can decide whether it's usable or not."
"I've done this before, you know," Leo muttered, and saw Donnie's scowl deepen out of the corner of his eyes. "I'm just saying, we've been at this for thirty minutes and we've found zilch."
There was a comment curling around Donnie's lips, Leo could tell, a rough dismissal, saying Leo just wasn't looking hard enough, then. Donnie probably found some useful things already. Instead, he said: "You have no sense of time. It's been ten minutes, at best."
"Says Mr. Hyper-focus," Leo said under his breath. He pulled at something stuck tight in the pile, wiggled it, and yanked it loose. He briefly lost his balance, rocking back on his heels, and managed to not tumble down. He looked at the piece in his hand.
More junk.
He tossed it over his shoulder.
Okay, new plan. Gauge how annoyed Donnie was exactly and how far he could push this, or if he shouldn't push anything at all, and if he should let the heavy shroud of silence settle back over them.
"Donnie," Leo whined, and watched keenly as his brother rolled his eyes. Alright, not a bad sign. Meant Donnie was in a poor mood, but not a leave me alone or I'll vaporize you mood. More an I need some TLC so I'd like my darling twin to annoy me mood. Sure, Donnie would never put it in those exact terms, but Leo was a verified Donnie-connoisseur, and he knew exactly what his brother needed.
Leo put his hands up and presented them to his still-working brother. They were dark with grime. "My fingers hurt," he announced with a pout.
"Tragic," Donnie said and dug further into the pile. "What do you want me to do about it?"
"Kiss it better?"
Disgust curled at Donnie's snout and Leo fought not to grin. "I'm not going anywhere near those dirty paws of yours."
Mischievously, Leo wiggled his fingers and cooed: "Awww, but Donnie, they hurt! You wouldn't leave your only twin to suffer!"
He lunged, shoving his hands into Donnie's face, relishing the shriek he drew from his twin.
Donnie spluttered, pulling away sharply and trying, futilely, to keep Leo at arm’s length. He bared his teeth, fangs glinting, and snapped at Leo's squirming fingers straying too close to his mouth.
"So mean, Don-Don!" Leo whined around a laugh.
"If you don't get your hands – off! I'll happily be an only twin in two minutes!"
"Awww, that's so sweet of you to say! You think I'd hold out against your arsenal for two whole minutes!"
"Make that ten seconds. Nine. Eight. Seven – "
"Donnie," Raph's voice came, tired but still fond, from a little way behind them. "Don't threaten Leo with fratricide."
"Then he shouldn't– !" Donnie made another attempt to bite off Leo's wriggling fingers. "Tell him to stop! And that he needs a bath." To Leo, he said with a glower: "You stink worse than the sewers."
"Like you're any better, hermano."
"We all need a bath," Raph said as he picked both of them up by the scruff of their shirt and hung them in the air like particularly naughty kittens. "Both of you stink to high heaven, but you don't hear me complaining. So quit squabbling and get back to digging."
Donnie made a noise of protest. "I was working just fine before Leo–!"
Raph shook him once, jostling him and pulling his shirt just so that his arms hiked up, and gave him a look. Donnie acquiesced with a grumble and a stubborn, but meaningless, attempt at crossing his arms, succeeding only in crossing his wrists and accidentally framing his face. Leo muffled a snort.
Satisfied, Raph placed them gently back down. With his feet back on somewhat solid ground, even if it was rocky and precariously uneven in places, Leo looked at Raph. Scars lined up his arms, and there was a particularly gnarly scar covered by his mask where he lost his eye to a Kraang attack that haunted Leo's waking dreams. On instinct, Leo breathed in, but no scent greeted him. Raph had learned, by force of necessity, to keep his scent under control, to the point Leo couldn't smell him at all anymore. He wished he hadn't teased Raph for it when they were younger. It was another small comfort he often found himself missing.
"Found anything yet?" Leo asked. A small frown tugged Raph's lips down and his gaze became troubled, and Leo wished he could take the question back.
"Nothing," Raph said. "Looks like some other survivors passed by here before us, probably took whatever useful stuff that was still around with them."
Leo sighed. “Yeah, figured as much."
"Not everything's been taken," Donnie cut in. "I found a few scrap pieces and wires that'll help me create a heater. I need a few more pieces before I can build it, but we'll get there."
Worry hung heavily off Raph's shoulders, even though he tried to keep them up. He might've gotten a handle on his scent, but he still wore his emotions like a comfortable vest, like pages of a book written in large font, an inextricable part of him laid out so openly for them. Leo didn't think he could ever do the same, and he didn't know whether he envied Raph for it or not.
But worry wasn't Raph's burden to bear on his own, not anymore.
Leo patted Raph's arm and mustered up an easy smile. "We'll be fine, big bro. Trust me."
"Yeah..." Raph sighed. "Yeah, I s'ppose. We always are."
Leo wasn't sure why the easy trust made his chest feel so tight.
"Course we are," he said instead. "So stop worrying that big head of yours, m'okay?"
"My head's not big."
"Raph, big brother, your head's massive, 'cause it keeps growing along with that giant body of yours. You're huge, accept it."
"That's a really interesting way of asking for shell rides, Leo," Donnie said, smirking, because he knew exactly which secret he just laid out in the open. Leo gasped; Betrayed by his own kin, and Donnie had the gall to stand there and look smug.
Raph looked at Leo with big, soft eyes. "You want shell rides?"
"What – no! I mean, yes. No!"
"Awww, buddy," Raph cooed, and the worst part about it was that his brother really meant the almost-aggravatingly sweet tone. "If you wanted shell rides, you should've just asked! C'mere – "
"Raph, wait, no – "
A loud crash from behind them – where their little brother was still working through the pile – had them instantly on high alert, weapons one swift movement away from being drawn as they spun, quick and practiced, ready to tackle any possible danger.
An ugly, chipped mug was raised high above Mikey's head. The gaudy thing was decorated with a round, yellow smiley face in its center, orange and green 80's flowers circling the body. They were scratched to hell and back, but still mostly recognizable. Mikey's grin was blinding.
"Donnie!" he hollered. "Bring out the Poppins bag! I'm taking this baby with me!"
Tension bled out of them in one collective sigh.
"It's called – whatever. You guys will never get it right."
The relieved slant of Donnie's shoulders betrayed his nonchalant tone. He took a small pouch out of his pocket and opened it, tugging at its edges to make it big enough to put the mug in.
"Don't mix it with the clean items," Donnie instructed as Mikey bounded up to them.
"Don, if you want him to do that, you gotta upgrade that non-existent sorting system," Leo said. "Just make sure it's at the top or something."
"You have no idea how difficult it is to create a contained, portable pocket dimension meant for storage, nevermind to create any form of system within such a space."
"Right, yeah, explain that to me again some other time."
Donnie huffed and rolled his eyes. The bag was a project both he and Mikey had worked a long time on, combining both their ninpo into creating a storage space that could hold almost anything. It wasn't endless, but they hadn't reached its end yet, and it'd saved them from a pinch more than once.
Mikey proudly presented his new mug to them. It was even uglier up close.
"Look at it and weep!"
Leo wanted to weep alright, but not as much as Donnie, by the scrunched look on his face.
"It's a cool mug, Mikey," Raph said.
"Right? If I clean it up a lil', it'll be as good as new!"
"I'm boiling it at least five times, I hope you know." Donnie held out the bag.
"Of course! Man, this is so cool, that's the best find I've had in ages! You guys must be so jealous right now–"
A noise, nothing but the smallest rattle, faint but there, drew Leo's attention. He turned to find its source, tuned out his brothers, eyes sweeping across the destruction, a quick survey of the area, but he found nothing.
Another sound, less a rattle and more something alive. Leo straightened his back, standing to full attention, and brought up his fist as he clicked once, quick and sharp. His brothers hushed at once. He moved, trusting his brothers to follow and cover his back.
Donnie scanned the perimeter before they entered the area, but it wouldn't be the first time one of those pink monsters managed to evade the scanners somehow. He'd upgraded them, and upgraded them again, until they had almost no fault, but they'd grown to be careful – couldn't be careful enough – unlike their days in youth where hubris colored their every action. Before the world went to waste and everything they knew disappeared. They'd lost almost everyone. They couldn't bear to lose each other, too.
A piece of rounded concrete stuck out between the pile of wreckage across from them, and another small noise echoed out. A tunnel, then, of sorts, whatever the concrete had once been had made a passageway under the debris. And something was in there.
Leo motioned to it, then twirled his finger, signaled his brothers to spread out and circle the entrance. They assumed their positions without protest, without question, silent and swift. Raph remained at Leo's back.
A roofing sheet covered most of the entrance. Leo counted down from three to zero with his fingers, hand in the air, and lifted the sheet with his sword, but the movement must've displaced something, because a moment later it came tumbling down with a loud clatter, stone and metal grinding their way down.
He tensed, but whatever was inside the tube – and he could clearly see it was one now, reminding him somewhat of the sewer tubes of his childhood – didn't startle and attack. But another noise came, clearly now, and Leo froze. It sounded like a cough. A very tiny cough. And a gurgle. It sounded like –
Leo ducked, without thinking, and climbed into the tunnel.
Black guck covered the bottom. It smelled rancid, pungent in a rotting way. His hands and knees sank into the wet mass. He sucked in a breath and held it, hoping the stench would leave his nose if he didn't breathe for long enough.
He ignored Raph's startled and concerned "Leo?!" and crawled further. He trudged through the sludge, trying not to gag at the slimy feel. Pieces of metal stuck through the roof of the tunnel, but Leo found himself lucky enough to not have to duck under them far enough to end belly-down in the gunk.
The baby looked up at him when he came to a stop close by. His cheeks weren’t nearly as chubby as they should be, and his hair was matted and greasy, clinging to his scalp. Only a ratty blanket covered him, flimsily at best. Something dark and unpleasant mixed with the black guck, and Leo didn't need to see the dried blood on the kid's arm to know what it was.
He looked past the baby, further down the tunnel, and saw a man. His arm was outstretched, reaching towards the kid, face turned towards them. A giant puncture hole was clear as day on his back, as repulsive as it was familiar.
Dead.
He must've died protecting his baby.
"How long've you been here, little guy?" Leo muttered, and regretted it immediately, a fresh wave of rot bombarding his senses. He coughed, covering his mouth and nose with the back of his hand.
"Alright," he said, strained. "You're coming with me."
He wiped his hand on his thigh, clearing most of the gunk from it, even if the baby was dirty enough that another layer wouldn't matter that much, and gingerly touched him. The baby grabbed at his fingers immediately, like a homing missile seeking warmth, sudden enough to startle Leo. He gurgled, big, doe eyes staring wetly up at Leo.
"Yeah, yeah," Leo mumbled, soft. "No need to look at me like that, I'm not leaving you here."
He unwrapped his scarf after wiping off his other hand, and fashioned it into a sling, knot tied atop his shoulder. He picked the baby up and murmured softly to him when he whined.
“I know, kiddo. Just a bit longer.”
The baby fit snugly into the sling, covered from head to toe by the scarf. The baby made a noise and curled his tiny fingers into Leo’s shirt, cuddling closer against him and burying further into the sling. He’d been out in the cold for a long time, it was nothing short of a miracle that the kid didn’t have hypothermia. Leo attempted to cradle him closer.
"Sorry, this'll be a bumpy ride. Hang tight, okay?"
Leo spared another glance at the man. It didn't feel right to leave him here to rot, after he gave his life to protect his child, but there was no other choice. Even if they dragged him out, there was no place to bury him, and no time to spare on it. Not with recent Kraang activity painted in the decay of his body. Leo closed his eyes, paid him respect the only way he still could, honoring the man's sacrifice.
His brothers called his name, their voices thin and sharp as they echoed through the tunnel and beat against his eardrums, their worry thick. Leo turned, and didn't look back.
Leo gulped in fresh air greedily the moment he tumbled out of the tunnel. He coughed, attempting to banish the foul smell out of his lung, while his arms curled around the baby.
"Leo," Raph rumbled, upset clinging to his words. "What were you thinking! You can't leave without saying anything! What if you got – " He paused. "What is that?"
The baby peeked over the top of the sling, curiously taking in his new surroundings and the people around them. Leo carefully took the baby out of the sling and showed him to his brothers. Their jaws dropped.
"Leo– what– " Raph spluttered.
"Why do you have a baby," Donnie's tone was dry, like he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.
"I found him," Leo said and held the child out towards them. "Isn't he cute?"
"He's naked."
Leo wiggled the kid. "Yeah, but so were we until we were forced into clothes. C'mon, look at 'im."
The baby cooed and giggled when Leo wiggled him again. Leo couldn't stop his grin. That's right, kid, back him up here.
"He's adorable," Raph said and Mikey nodded in agreement, a gentle smile and soft look on his face that Leo hadn't seen in a while. Then, it turned to a frown.
"He's dirty." Mikey looked at Leo. "You're dirty." His nostrils flared and he pulled a face. "Oh, Pizza Supreme, you reek."
"It was full of gross, rotting stuff in there, of course I stink."
"Nuh-uh, no, that's – Donnie, bag!"
Donnie, remaining at a decent distance from Leo, the scent probably having wafted his way now as well, shoved the Poppins bag into Mikey's hands.
"Leo, come here," Mikey commanded as he took out a surprisingly well-maintained towel and a bottle marked Rain out of the bag.
"No, Mikey," Leo protested, even as his little brother stalked towards him and the wiggling child in his arms. "We shouldn't waste water on something like this – "
Mikey shushed him. "If you think I'm going to let you run around smelling like that, you're an idiot. Now, hands."
There had never been any arguing with Mikey. Reluctantly, Leo did as told. The water felt wonderful on his scales, black gunk and slime washing off his hands, then his knees when those were clean.
"Baby."
Leo carefully angled the baby in his arms so Mikey could rinse him off.
"Hold him tight."
A task far easier than Leo would've thought it would be. The kid whined and fussed a little when Mikey poured the water in small streams over him and scrubbed the filth off him, but he was otherwise extremely well-behaved. Maybe he was tired. Leo hoped he wasn't sick.
Leo dried the baby off while Mikey dug a blanket out of the bag – and dropped Leo’s now-dirty scarf in – which he then used to swaddle the baby. The kid cuddled into the warmth of the blanket, and released a body-shaking sneeze.
"Is he sick?" Raph asked, worriedly. His hands hovered near them, shifting around, but never reaching out, as if afraid to hurt the fragile little thing curled in Leo's arms.
Leo examined the child's eyes, nose, and mouth. "Doesn't seem like it," he determined. "But it bears keeping an eye on, to be sure."
"Was he alone down there?" Donnie asked as he poked the kid's cheek and earned himself a gurgled coo in response.
Leo's face fell. "There was a man there, too. Been dead a few days. I think he was the kid's father. The..." he hesitated. "The Kraang got him."
The air turned tense, his brothers grew grim.
"They were here. Recently," Donnie mumbled. "We should..."
"Move," Leo agreed. "Soon."
Mikey sighed. "And I was just starting to like that place, too."
Guilt swirled like the beginning of a vortex in Leo's chest. He swallowed down the instinctive sorry, knew none of his brothers would appreciate that pesky self-blame rearing its ugly head again, not after they'd spent so long picking up and gluing together the pieces that'd shattered after the end began.
The baby shifted in his arms, rolling over and almost careening out of his hold and onto the ground. Leo, panicked, scrambled to shift the kid and hold him more securely.
"Don't do that!" he scolded, but the baby just blinked at him, like he had no idea why Leo had stopped him from whatever little plans his infant brain had hatched.
"Are we..." Raph hesitated. "Are we taking him with us?"
The question was tentative, a glimmer of something Leo couldn't quite identify sparkling in Raph's gaze, but he knew it was soft, and maybe even a little hopeful, but the uncertainty Leo himself felt was clear for him to see. The baby was heavy in his arms and suckled sweetly at one of Leo’s fingers.
"We can't leave him here," Mikey said, loud, like it was already a protest. "He'll die!"
"Yeah, 'course, I didn't mean..." Raph held his hands up. How he managed to always look so much smaller than their little brother in moments like these would forever remain a mystery to Leo.
"It's a fair question, Mikey," Leo said. "It'll be a lot of work. We'll need to find far more food and supplies than what we survive on now - "
"So we're leaving him here just because - "
"Michael," Donnie cut in. His no-nonsense tone always worked best on Mikey, and they watched the rush of a fight leave their little brother. "It's an important thing to consider. This is a child, an entire person we need to take care of. Are we the best choice for that?"
They didn't know anything about babies, all reference they had was from their Pops' stories about their own childhood – and most of that was probably not applicable to fully human children – and some TV shows, which left much to be desired.
Mikey looked sadly at the baby and rested the back of his hand against his cheek.
"Where else is he supposed to go?" he whispered. "We're all he has."
Sorrow frayed at Leo's edges. His brother wasn't wrong – the kid was all alone in the world. They couldn't trust other humans to take care of him, even if they managed to find a group of them anywhere soon. There was no vetting process trustworthy enough in the mess that was the apocalypse for them to entrust the baby to strangers. Leo glanced at Donnie and Raph, and knew, from the looks on their faces, they were considering the exact same thing. Leo and Raph's eyes met, they exchanged nothing but a wordless look for a moment, and then they nodded.
"He'll need a name,” Raph said. Mikey looked between them for a startled moment and then positively lit up.
"I've got the best names! There's Clunk, Cody, Haley, Joel -"
Donnie, a smile tilting at his lips, leaned in, consideringly, and he hummed a melody-less tune.
"He reminds me somewhat of Cassandra."
Leo made a noise that was a mix between offense and confusion, while Raph, looking only confused, leaned curiously closer to the baby.
"Oh!" Mikey said. "He does kinda look like her, doesn't he?"
Leo squinted down at the child in his arms. The baby looked back up at him with wide, dark eyes.
"I don't see it," Leo said. "He's so much cuter."
"He's a baby," Donnie huffed, but Leo could hear amusement in his tone. "They're designed to be cute."
"Which means I'm right."
"No, Leo, look. He does look like her," Raph's hands skated around the baby, one palm almost dwarfing the little guy. He pushed the kid's hair back with one, careful finger. "See?" The baby reached up, grabbed Raph's finger best he could with his tiny baby-grip. Raph melted, smile wide and warm, and Leo's breath almost stopped, stolen from his lungs, because he felt, vaguely, as if the sun had come out for the first time after a barren, endless winter.
"Okay," Leo said. Cleared his throat to rid it off its roughness. "Yeah, okay. I guess I see it. So, Casey, then?"
"Casey Junior," Mikey declared, a new sort of pride lining him almost as bright as his ninpo. "It's perfect."
"You wanna hold him, Raph?" Leo asked. It was easy to spot the building refusal, worry and hesitance pinging back in his big brother's eyes, so Leo, swiftly, and without too much jostling, deposited the baby in Raph's arms.
Panic seized, but only for a moment, because then Casey cuddled closer up to him, burying himself in the safe comfort of Raph's arms, and every bit of tension washed away.
His brothers huddled around, gazing at the slowly dozing baby nestled, like he'd always belonged there, in their big brother's arms. They talked in hushed, bright tones, and warmth sang like a crackling hearth through Leo’s soul.
Picking up Casey might’ve been the best thing he’d ever done.
#this ended up being 4.4k haha#officially the second longest fic I've made in my entire life#I had fun making this!#spent 2 full weeks on it tho lol#razz writes#razz's writing#I'm nervous;;#oh yeah!#the reason I named this fic Jacob's Ladder#is because that's a weather phenomenon#also called sunbeams#it's when the sun shines from behind clouds in rays#and that's what Casey is to the boys
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hi... (runs away)
#HELLO (comes back w better confidence)#i miss all of you :<#will respond soonest#!!!#have you guys seen rin'#s official arts#it's been occupying my mind lately#esp that one where he looks like a knight or sumn#imagine rin as a grumpy yet so damn protective knight??? yeah that (like a grumpy obi...)(I ROOTED FOR OBI)#anw!! i turned 20!!!#aaaaa 20 is like... a scary number#i've never thought i'll made it this far and i haven't planned anything up to this pot#*point#so i've been really anxious abt it lol#but then it happened#and it felt just like another normal day#i ate some pie (bec its pi day lol) and had some wine#watched your name (for the 6th time????)#and just. existed. normally#the world doesn't spin differently when you turn 20 i suppose#or any age actually#so it doesn't have to be scary :>#i'm treating it as a reminder#that i am here#despite it all :>#SO THERES MY LIL UPDATE#i'm alive i swear#mimi rambles ᐢᗜᐢ
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A secret rendezvous. <3
#ffxiv#karoiseka#thancred#7.0#7.0 spoilers#wolcred#and three makes a chorus#error: g'raha not found#Thancred actually came to the cabin in the city before the official “reveal”#as to not distress Karo#so they already had *one* good quiet reunion before this#but they sure as hell weren't going to pass up being near each other again#I've been thinking about this since the scene played#lol#well--different versions#but I like what I did here#I'm happy with these#despite the flaws in the last two poses that I know I see horribly but they still look nice#wheeeeeeee#gonna also try to clean up my drafts and actually post some stuff in the next week!
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"ah, let's go over there!"
#CHARMS MAYBE IDK. i mean for me absolutely but idk if anyone else would want one. official sibling adventures merch LOL#weeping i need to do more comix AAUGHH i've had several in my head for months... there's a lil mini storyline n everythng...#regardless i now have ummm. at least 6 more charms to do!! ideally i'm looking to have them all done before maid day. bc they're all maids#*slaps cheeks* SHAY YOU HAVE OVER A MONTH TO DRAW 6 CHIBIS YOU CAN DO IT OK#i might do smthn with haruka + kiryu n majima too? not sure yet i need to stop adding things to the pile dkjfnjknskkj#I LIKE DOING MERCH OK AAAAAAAAAA my ass couldn't booth at a con. i draw like 10 charms a year and i don't rly do anything print-worthy oops#the void given form#dojima daigo#sawamura haruka
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Best thing that happened yesterday was that I got this lil guy from an artisan market in an electro music festival
#I saw that thay had halloween characters and I was like 👀 they have to have one#AND THEY DID#it was the last one too I think#so cute#I like it much more than some official merch I've seen#I love my baby so much#maybe I'm biased because it only cost 6€ lol but this is my favorite piece of merch that I own#beetlejuice#handcrafted#fan merch
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So I'm currently watching the new special content for the seasonal show (team autumn) and I just wanted to say that Saimon is giving such supportive teacher vibes that's it's wholesome.
#more specifically with the younger ones of the group (especially aoi so far)#though I'm sure it will turn chaotic soon#also aoi has been so cute in this (I LOVE MY ENBY CHILD)#on a more personal-ish note:#been off of tumblr (at least this blog minus the intro post) for the past few days due to the new drama tracks released#(I did listen to it in japanese when it released but I'm not the most fluent and I didn't keep focused for most of them lol)#but hopefully I can catch up/officially come back soon 'cause I miss it here#(I've also had some stuff cooking in the background so hopefully I can post those sometime soon 👀)#paradox live#paralive#the cat's whiskers#saimon naoakira#naoakira saimon#thoughts#kia's posts#kia's thoughts#paralive spoilers#paralive seasonal show
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Coming in to play! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Webkinz#Webkinz hours! The cute lads have wedged their way back to the forefront of my mind haha#I'm honestly really glad I kept all my Webkinz plush over time and they've survived all the moves and whatnot#Some are still missing - most notably my horses for some reason - but I have the rest onhand and they're still cute and soft and I love them#Getting the opportunity to name and play with them as a young'un made them stick quite strongly in my mind ♪#And I still find some of my design sensibilities with their roots in the gameplay/game design/UI design/interactivity#I think it inspired some of my Video Game Design brain which is an aspect of myself I'm quite happy with :D#And I /love/ plushies probably now more than ever <3 So I'm doubly glad younger me didn't get rid of them haha#Got my lineup that featured in Tala's Requestober this year ♥ I left out a couple for what are probably obvious reasons ahem ahem#If you haven't seen what the Official design of the clownfish is in Webkinz... The plushy is arguably worse lol why that one of all of them#Hire me to design Webkinz fish I dare you#There are actually several cute fish - and several ugly ones! Lol I don't know why they're so inconsistent#It's not like the differences between Signature and Classic! Most of the fish are Classic or eStore! I don't know what gives lol#Anyway lol the other one I left out was my Night Mare since I couldn't remember his name either - which is a shame! I liked him#I still have some fairly clear memories of playing Webkinz with those lads <3 Of the different rooms and relationships and games#It's nostalgic! It's nice to reminisce on something so cheery and cute and light and fluffy :)#As for the rest hehe - I tend to pick up 'kinz whenever I find them at secondhand shops and the like - much like Lalaloopsies#They're out of production! Harder to find - rare and valuable haha totally#I haven't found any New With Tags so far but I'm on the hunt still!! Someday it'll be my turn...#But I Have found some really adorable fellows for cents on the dollar haha <3 Two Blue Whales and a Sheep and Duck!! So cute#My latest find was a Lil'kinz Lioness Cub and she is - So tiny <3 Really adorably constructed with a fluffy nose ahhh ♪#The Long Eared Bunny is my current Free 'kinz! I unfortunately lost the account with Baaby so I had to start over again but that's alright#This time I've got Embroidery and she's in a closet cosplay of Edgar haha - black-and-grey striped shirt with dark pants and round glasses#And angel wings! I was able to snag those from the Ganz website and they're perfect honestly haha ♥ She won an Open Beauty Pageant with it!#Couple of her with Sugar - my first Webkinz I got to play with since Diamond's tag was thrown away :') Sugar's my oldest 'kinz <3#And of her with smol's Free 'kinz since I convinced her to play with me off and on haha - her Leonberger named Borgus :D#And then one final one of what I'd really like - a Webkinz Spider ;;♥ I /know/ they've made spider objects that are really cute!#And April Fools' fake pets of a spider!! Give me the fluffy spider please Ganz even if there's no plushie I just need to pet the spider
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Quick sneak peak of the thumbnails for the sims4 scar cc I'm currently working on!! I will have everything ready to release by the end of the week :D
#I was genuinely super surprised when I looked and found that no one had made phalloplasty scars for the sims4 yet#so I finally made my own#then I got super carried away and made a bunch of extra stuff lol#so in total I'll be releasing 3 sets of transmasc scars cc for the sims4!#They're all base game compatible and maxis match (I've tried to make them match the official sims4 scar style)#They work on any skintone !!#I have 7 variations of hysterectomy scars (a bunch of laparoscopic + 2 open procedure scar types)#7 variations of top surgery scars (double incision - keyhole - inverted T - fishmouth etc etc)#and RFF phalloplasty scars (both left and right hand options)#multiple transparencies for all variations (this will make more sense when I make the full release post lol)#I really wanted to also do ALT phallo scars but I wasn't able to find enough references to make something I felt was good enough to share#These are my first ever cc! I hope they bring as much joy to other ppl as making them has to me :D#sims 4 cc#my sims 4 cc
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There's a lot of talk about Heiji's tendency to drop everything and go to Tokyo to help—or even just to see!—Shinichi, and rightfully so. It's something Heiji unabashedly admits to (Episode 278, Magic File 5)...
Heiji: If any other suspicious persons show up, just call me! I'll run right over!
Ran: Hattori-kun saw that incident on the news and rushed over because he was worried about you, Conan-kun. Heiji: Grabbed the first bullet train in the mornin'!
And I still can hardly believe that Heiji's canon, actual, real-deal reaction to a request to put his life on the line and impersonate Shinichi... is an immediate "OK" composed out of heart emojis (Episode 345).
Seriously. That happened. Heiji couldn't not help.
Heiji (internally): I had no choice. After all, Kudo e-mailed me asking me to do this.
But in Shinichi's first appearance since being poisoned (Episode 49), after seemingly refusing to show his face to Ran or Inspector Megure or anyone else in town for who knows how long, he unabashedly claims that he dropped everything to meet Heiji. He smiles about it!
And of course it's a lie, but there's a smidgen of truth to it, too. Conan did accompany Heiji, despite feeling terribly sick and harboring zero interest in the (apparently) non-murderous case, because he was intrigued. Because he was impressed with what Heiji had uncovered about him already and was nervous about what else his so-called "rival" could reveal.
Conan (internally): I don't wanna go, but there's no telling what this guy might say!
But even without that context, Shinichi's easy, immediate cover story gets to me. He really, truly, unhesitatingly asserts that meeting Heiji was important enough to jump right on a train to get there.
It reminds me of Shinichi's excitement when he first learns of Heiji (File 520), and his grin when he thinks of meeting Heiji for real one day (File 522):
Shinichi: Really? Then he's just like me!
Shinichi (internally): We'll meet each other again... on that mysterious stage...
I think I could totally buy that Shinichi actually would have done exactly what he claims in the clip. He is interested in other detectives like himself, and with the pain of the antidote wearing off in Episode 49, that smile's gotta be genuine.
Finally, while it's Not That Deep, there's maybe something to be said about how Heiji is symbolically the key to Shinichi's true self, since it's Heiji's alcohol that transforms Conan back into Shinichi. With this clip, Shinichi underlines the same idea. It's Heiji who brought him back after so long. It's because of Heiji Hattori that Shinichi Kudo makes his first appearance after vanishing.
And I love how forthright Shinichi is about it.
#detective conan#case closed#shinichi kudo#heiji hattori#ramblings#long post#video#funimation english dub script#because i've devoted a lot of time and effort into mixing my german blu-ray footage with my funimation dvd english dub audio#and everyone needs to look at it lol#(really though it's a lot easier now that i know to change the 'fps' of the audio but it's still a lot of work...)#(i match up the japanese audio track from the blu-ray with the japanese audio track from the dvd and copy any cuts needed to the eng audio)#(not hard just tedious... i'm dying for an official hd english dub release so that i don't have to do this lol)#(but any official english video releases for this show at all would be great...)#(i don't want to use bilibili screencaps anymore because there's a big watermark now)#(so i spent a whole lot of time timing bilibili subs to my ep 345 blu-ray here for those caps 😩)#(more tedious than other eps because bilibili splits up multi-part specials so i had to string together four different .srts)#(gosh i do *the most* lol plz official releases i'm dying)#anyway just was thinking about this because of my hd english dub project! he really says this#wanted to post this before the end of the year for one more essay but alas... took way longer to write than i thought ^^;#as per usual amirite ^^; ^^;
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kuwabara sketch dump bc i had a dream where he was just sittin there last night and i love him and i miss him :((
#im just projecting onto him a little bit#had a profound experience sitting in front of a drum kit that i never posted about but wrote a long ass ramble about. rip kuwabara you#would've loved drumming#hey wait wasn't he the drummer in that band official art#HE WAS OMG#anyway default gesture/stim/filler action has become doing the rock on thing at people like. all the fucking time#and i've also been getting vaguely into metal bc my buddy has good taste and is very passionate about metal#so like. again im just having experiences that i am now channeling through him. think it would be really funny to draw him renovating a#bathroom or something bc that's also going on in my life. i mean im not doing it but i wanna make him do and then regret diy plumbing#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#also posting this at like 5am bc that's when i did it and also it's kinda bad lol#sometimes posts are for me. that's all#skrunkart
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@IndianaFever: WE'RE IN. we have officially clinched a spot in the 2024 @WNBA playoffs 🔥
#i had them making the playoffs so i'm not surprised but it's still wild to actually see it be official#i feel like i've been watching the w for a somewhat long time and i've never seen them there lol#it's gonna be fun#indiana fever
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team star's boss battle music is actually so fucking good???? hello??????
#turns out i was just literally never in battle with any of them long enough to actually hear the whole thing lmAO#i dont think refrain is the right word here but#that second refrain (or w/e around the 2:15 mark up to it looping back around) is just. so fucking good????? it's subtle but good???#maybe around the 1:48 mark but again-- idk what music terms i'm thinking of it's been. a while.#good shit. can't believe i would beat these goobers in less than 2 minutes khdfkjs#had no clue the official theme was closer to six minutes long fjkhasdlkjf#anyways nobody look at me i'm not here#djdksfhl#i just need to talk into the void but like where else am i going to put this???? on facebook????? for my aunties to read???#unsuccessfully fighting off another scarlet fixation#was doing so well on getaway car but brain demanded we think about the sv kiddos again#i'm blaming it on i've been getting back into running and i had to put penny's boss battle music on my running playlist#it'll be a long time until i get to this point but i've already decided it's going to be my push to the 5k finish line music dshfklj#looking at my old running playlist the push to the finish line song i used was the Victory Is Right Before Your Eyes! from bw2 lol#anyways x2 nothing new under the sun here folks#talking tag#hope y'all are good i've genuinely missed you#but being offline is def better for my brain
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i do think, aside from mercury bias, if bg had been in all season she would have been all wnba, first or at least second. i think people undervalue her because of the rebounding but she is 1000% the worst officiated player in the league, on both sides of the court. so the fact that she's been able to have the performance that she had is incredible, and that she didn't get the acknowledgment really just underscores how much people take what she does for granted.
#i saw something interesting that kim milky basically has her players specialize and so they come out of college less well rounded#exhibit a angel's shooting vs rebounding#and i didn't watch bg in college so maybe i'm totally wrong on this but maybe rebounding just wasn't he job#and then i saw on reddit or something that maybe because she is so poorly officiated she'd get called for too many fouls on rebounding#for it to be worth it#and while i understand the value of rebounding really i do the mercy's problem wasn't that they weren't trying#well sometimes it was but it was that their whole system wasn't designed for it#if you have 4 players on the perimeter to space and shoot 3#you're going to hope they go in and run the floor instead#teams that rebound well dedicate bodies and time to rebounding#and i believe that it was a conscious choice the merc made to not do that#and if you look at old merc games they struggled with rebounding then too#i actually will have more to say about this in the future but the mercury's style of play has lived and died with dt's style for 20 years#the mercury have the most 100 point games of any franchise#and they are responsible for most of the 200 point total scores across the league#ie their fast break and bad defense lol#and while it's not entirely true - she is not responsible for every result they've ever had - i don't think you get westhead's style of pla#to work without her talent and the penny cappie dt trio in 2006#or at least it isn't successful and maybe doesn't change the pace of play in the league the way it did#it's also interesting that if the lottery draw goes differently in 2006 and merc have the first pick do they get seimone or do they stick#cappie? i think they stick with cappie bc they needed a true pg and from what i've seen seimone is a 2/3#and i don't think dt becomes the player the league knows without having a true pg [vs her playing point]#the thing is dt can play point better than most people but i think she plays better when she has someone else there to help#and her talking about oh i should've won mvp in 2006 [when i dropped 40] [lisa leslie won that year]#and in 2014 [best team ever] [maya moore won that year]#you look at the stats and there is for sure an argument to be made there#but it all comes back to post players#and i know wikipedia says maya is a power forward but she seems like more of a 3 sometimes? i haven't watched her enough#but i don't think dt can win mvp in 2009 without that team specifically#which means [and this is my theory of life] that everything happens the way it has to happen for you to end up where you are today
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.
#I feel so down lol#I at least wanted to ‘quickly’ make a compilation for hobi but then found that it’s been done before#with the exact same moments I already started to gif#same for the other idea I had#so yeah. officially nothing this year from me cause I have a friend over for the next few days and still have to tutor as well#I've had a gfx concept in mind so maybe I’ll start on it sometime next week#but then no one will be online again so.#first time I haven’t had anything for him in four years I’m really sad actually#especially because I've had an edit concept in mind and just don't have the time to do it#I just wanna be alone#and do things I enjoy in peace
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