#or any age actually
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hi... (runs away)
#HELLO (comes back w better confidence)#i miss all of you :<#will respond soonest#!!!#have you guys seen rin'#s official arts#it's been occupying my mind lately#esp that one where he looks like a knight or sumn#imagine rin as a grumpy yet so damn protective knight??? yeah that (like a grumpy obi...)(I ROOTED FOR OBI)#anw!! i turned 20!!!#aaaaa 20 is like... a scary number#i've never thought i'll made it this far and i haven't planned anything up to this pot#*point#so i've been really anxious abt it lol#but then it happened#and it felt just like another normal day#i ate some pie (bec its pi day lol) and had some wine#watched your name (for the 6th time????)#and just. existed. normally#the world doesn't spin differently when you turn 20 i suppose#or any age actually#so it doesn't have to be scary :>#i'm treating it as a reminder#that i am here#despite it all :>#SO THERES MY LIL UPDATE#i'm alive i swear#mimi rambles ᐢᗜᐢ
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Keep thinking about that one scene in secret life
#it was so silly i've had this visualised in my head for ages#actually sick of this comic now tho the colouring made me question tf I've been doing for 10 years#anyway#the sillies#not set on any of these designs btw and Scott isn't in his band outfit BC he isn't part of it yet in the series#which is the excuse I'm using bc I haven't solidified that design yet#tag time#secret life#life series#scott smajor#smajor1995#trafficblr#jimmy solidarity#goodtimeswithscar#this probably the second comic I've ever finished ever so#IM LEARNING OK#fandumb fanart#ALSO ALSO guess where I got the death messages the
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There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.
#you will make superficial edits that do not gell well with the rest of your work#and won't actually capture what you thought was so good about that story#close the doc. sit down. think about it for a while. inspiration is fine. getting a 'eureka' moment from another story is fine#but if you find yourself comparing your work one to one with someone else's and taking any differences to be flaws on your part then STOP#you will never write good stuff by trying to make it look less like you wrote it#writing#writing advice#guess who just had to go into her google doc history and undo a bunch of panic-induced edits#because she read a fic about the same characters she's writing for?#meeee. they aged badly within just a few hours of hindsight. learn from my mistakes#self-hatred is not a good motivation for creation#fic writing
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hey melody whatcha got there
#taffy art#slarpg#melody amaranth#frog ball#drawpile#furry art#i just wanted to draw her because it's been ages since i last did#but i didn't have any actual pose ideas past the initial bust shot so this just kinda happened
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So like, y'all know that popular Star Wars fic trope of Time Traveling Obi-Wan Kenobi where he dies and then wakes up in his 11ish year old body back in the Jedi Temple? You know how usually he wakes up, has a few minutes/hours of confusion, and then goes about trying to act like he was at age 11 while slowly fixing everything wrong with the Jedi Order? Personally I think he would not do that.
I think that Ben "Lived As A Wizard Hermit For Two Decades On Tattooine, Left, And Then Died Immediately" Kenobi would wake up as an eleven-year-old, have a panic attack, attack the nearest adult Jedi while accusing them of Doing Weird Sith Shit To His Brain, fucking flee, only then realize he has time traveled, steal someone's ship, go flying out of the temple to god knows where, continue panicking, crash into a random moon while distracted, nearly die, build a survival camp out of his broken ass ship and eat whatever bugs he can find, get kidnapped by pirates, overthrow said pirates, steal their ship, and then very calmly return to the Jedi temple like nothing happened.
Then and only then do I think he would start trying to act like a normal human person (while also dodging questions such as "what the fuck was that" and "where were you" and "is that a pirate's ship?"), except he'd be bad at it due to having lived as an Insane Wizard Desert Hermit for the past twenty years who has experienced enough trauma and time that he doesn't super well remember the details of his childhood, what with all of the wars and death and wars and such.
His acting convinces nobody, but nobody is sure what exactly to do about All Of That so he's for the most part left alone (after very vehemently refusing sptherapy), all the way up until he catches a glimpse of palpatine out of the corner of his eye and then its On Sight
#mads posts#star wars#obi-wan kenobi#specifically i see fics where he gets blasted back to the past and he genuinely acts like he's 11 or whatever age again#and im like NO thats some fuckin weirdo inhabiting the body of an eleven year old#thats a fiftyish year old dude who looks eighty and thinks the best way to train Newly Discovered Force-Sensitive Luke is to blindfold and#shoot at him#he spent twenty years fucking around in a desert and left the planet one (1) time to go rescue leia#he cannot in any way act like a normal child are you kidding me#he was only ever 'normal' during the clone wars because he was standing next to Anakin 'hey watch this' skywalker#actually i think if obi wan were to try to act like a normal kid of the age he appears he would either wildly over or undershoot#he'd be like. huge eyes and babytalk and innocent expressions OR he'd forget he doesn't alr know the nuances of the Alderaanian government#but he couldnt pull off 'totally normal guy dont mind me'#obi wan doesnt manage to oneshot palpatine btw. that would be too boring#he steals the nearest available lightsaber and Goes For It and obv is stopped due to being shaped like a baby and having the strength of on#and then again refuses to answer any questions
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As a neurodivergent arospec you're either very oblivious to people having crushes on you or are cursed with the hyper awareness to people liking you in a way you DON'T want them too
#aromantic#I had a fixation on crushes as a kid#like not my crushes#because i didn't have any#but on crushes as a concept#i used to look at all these “how to know if a boy like you” shit#and was obsess with it#so now every time someone has a crush on me i immedialty notice and hate it#even if it's flattering#i've to an age where people actually act on these feelings and i don't like it at all 🙂#asexual#ace#aroace#aro#asexuality#aromantism#queer
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about illario working with the venatori, we can't forget that elgar'nan gifted him blood magic, so I do think that he somewhat influenced him and that's why he's so much more vindictive and jealous in comparison to tevinter nights. I don't mean that he's being mind controlled, but it's a bit like cyrian, a god just amplifying those negative emotions in you and promising power and glory can push a person to that edge and to make stupid af decisions.
im also not forgetting that zara line in inner demons where she talks about an envy demon. like. why an envy demon in specific...there's THINGS between zara and illario that were not shown
no literally if you get me talking about illario + envy + the possibility of getting him possessed, you will have me here for fucking ever. a non mage doing blood magic (any magic at all) is really weird and interesting to me and i don’t remember an example of this happening before (feel free to correct me tho lol. i’m discounting possessions and dwarves)
i had started wildly theorising after bloodbath that he had been possessed and he was tapping into the fade using an envy demon. especially like you said, zara mentions it, AND because i swear there’s a codex in the ossuary where it mentions an envy demon whereas spite is obviously determination, right? so i thought it was a breadcrumb trail to a big “illario is being influenced and doesn’t even know” reveal— same as you anon like great minds am i right— but i’m not sure there is actually any evidence of that lol. like maybe if you squint but i do believe it was explained away by “oh yeah, and elgarnan let him do special blood magic”
it does also make sense to me that illario can only control lucanis, due to being part of the same family. a bloodline thing, and it is very poetic to me that their shared family connection in caterina is what allows him to control lucanis, even for a moment lol. spite being the extra magical boost that lucanis needs to block that out ALSO makes sense to me so i’m not too fussed abt these details lol🤔
the envyllario in my heart also gets spectral weapons for himself. lucanis gets wings, illario gets talons, PLUS green-purple are complementary colors so it would have been really fun to see them clash with their spirit/demon-powers. the talon thing is also a kind of reflection of his end-goal desire, how envy demons already have those freaky hands, and it manifests as claws and is a much more aggressive, strength-augmenting manifestation (as opposed to manoeuvrability and speed-augmenting that spite’s wings give lucanis.) anyways that's what the diagram above is supposed to be (this is extremely hot to me)
#have been waiting all day to get out of work to draw what i have not stopped rotating in my head#also drawing is not totally clear yes that is lucanis using one hand to hold back illario trying to claw at him yayyyyyyy#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#my art#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#sorry. i was going to reply to this yesterday but my friend finished the lucanis questline#we were discussing this for a bit so the reply is a little more in depth and thought out#also both of the remaining dellamorte heirs both being possessed is fun to ME .#forget house dellamorte being cooked we HAVE to make sure they’re burning and smoking and potentially even on fire#i wish we got to make the crows actually confront what a possessed heir would mean#but that is largely overshadowed in the game by caterina’s kidnapping#and also feels underused because nothing of note goes terribly bad#he doesn’t even draw any blood when spite tries to kill illario#truly wish lucanispite would have gone out of control and killed someone. idk who tho#maybe. lol. jacobus come here. i need you to die tragically
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.Tip: always kiss your LI after big boss fights to receive HP boosts.
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#davrin#dav#dragon age the veilguard#datv#rook#dav rook#davrook#grier thorne#davrin x rook#rook x davrin#sketch#blood#.also off topic i didn’t actually have any boss music for the final boss and idk if that was a glitch or not.#.also mad u cannot kiss ur LI whenever you want >:(.#.i actually love Grier so much I cannot play as anyone else now.#.hes canon he’s slept with my HoF and Zevran he’s related to Gaspard’s lover he has nine kids he doesn’t even know who his dad is.#.he drinks and smokes and smoulders and he designs traps and solves puzzles for fun he drinks hot chocolate and will not share his sweets.#.also off topic again not being a LoF is good now bc Isabela is like -oh hello ;)- like yes girl YES GIRL!!!.#.but I do HC that she knows Grier from when he was a raider and they totally hated each other into bed :)c.
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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how do transmascs not want to kill themselves all the time honestly
#i experience transphobia and hardship in my daily life#and then i go home and go on my computer and learn that i dont experience any of that actually#im just pretending. and i shouldnt talk about it because im just a fake trans#who wishes his experiences could even measure up to a crumb of what real trans people (women) have to go through#ok cool.#testosterone is a controlled substance did you know that. my state is actively making it harder for people my age to access hrt#but i guess since im transmasc i dont actually have to worry about any of that! im fine!#i didnt have a 3 month time limit before it would be illegal for me to access hrt! im transmasc im too privileged to worry about that!#transphobia#transandrophobia
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"Frank and Gerard early 2000's stage kisses" this "Frank and Gerard early 2000's stage kisses" that. LISTEN! 2022 Ray and Frank forehead kisses. In conclusion . Frank iero.
#I don't ship any of them btw#Not rlly combative to ppl that do like#I fully think there was some very close very intimate friendships bordering on ? Something more#Going on in the 2000's but that's more a genuine observation of ppl not like “aww kiss now” and anyway. They love they wives#This isn't ship talk hour just btw#I am very very very charmed by middle aged men being able to be sweet and physically affectionate to eachother tho#It is so sweet. So good such a future I aspire to. That actually does mean ... soo much ugh#Mcr#frank iero#ray toro#my chemcial romance#gerard way#the black parade#three cheers for sweet revenge#i brought you my bullets you brought me your love#danger days
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And now I find myself in the company of yet another mage.
#gamingnetwork#vgedit#videogameedit#gamingedit#dailygaming#gameplaydaily#da2edit#myda2#daedit#dragon age edit#myda#dragon age 2#fenris#hawke#faye hawke#carver hawke#carver vc listen only EYE can be magephobic to my sister BACK OFF ELFBOY#faye is so quietly happy when carver defends her or makes any indication that he actually likes her at all#and does not in fact wish she was dead instead of bethany#unfortunately due to being a mean bitch she can never voice this in a way that might improve their relationship </3
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whenever i see people talking about rouge as if shes some sort of responsible motherly figure type character i think about how in sonic battle she openly said onscreen that she never wants to be a mother. and also about the time in idw sonic where her and amy and cream went on a mission together and she was complaining about how nobody at the resort they were at had any gems worth stealing and amy was like Umm .. is that really the best example to be setting for cream ? and rouge was like Youre so right . cream if you ever try to rob a hotel make sure the guests are rich first ^_^ . mom friend rouge isnt real it cant hurt you ................
#sorry but in My Humble Opinion she is the least motherly character on earth#she is not the mom friend. well i dont think any of the girl sonic characters are the mom friend actually#except for maybe vanilla but only because shes a literal actual mom#girl sonic cast i will protect you from people who try to shove you into motherly figure roles regardless of age or personality
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Did I really draw Husk laying on Angel's lap two times in a row?
#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#hazbin angel dust#hazbin husker#husker x angel dust#husk x angel dust#hazbin husk#my art#ty clip studio rose brush#you've truly heightened my existence today#look they're actually on a surface this time!#no more floating boyos#im working on it okay ToT#booooo i forgot any age lines on them#no eye bags 😩#no wonder they look less skrunkly
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Cadets
(aka trash children, chaos children, and children who understand 98 is getting graded on this)
Inspired by @thefoundationproject! Closeups under the cut:
jesse got this pic from jangotat:
#star wars#tcw#soft wars#doodling in the soft wars sandbox#i think that'll be my tag for these things#alpha 6#commander fox#commander neyo#alpha 17#captain rex#commander wolffe#jangotat#commander doom#commander davijaan#(probably?)#shebse#edee#chekar#i may have messed up the ages oops#but hey we can pretend that the shebse found rex when he was a baby/toddler but he didn't officially join the squad until he was older!#hopefully i did 6's expression justice#against his better instincts he loves his trash children but he is also so so tired of fishing them out of the garbage#6 is grumpy as always; 98 is smug as always; and 17 is too busy getting bitten by a baby to have any other concerns at the moment#(he is about to have many more concerns)#wolffe climbed up 17s back to bite him while he was distracted with the tubie gnawing on his arm#specifically to bite 17s neck because he saw a video of an actual wolf taking down a space-deer and wanted to try it out#i just realized the alphas were still in training for most of the cadet-raising#poor 17 had to write strategy essays or whatever with four 10 yr olds competing to see who can provoke him the most#and a 6 yr old chomping on his ankles#not to mention 16 in the soft wars eu dealing with half of 44's squad on top of his own cadets and probably assorted shebse too
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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