#i've had about 2 people appreciate the main point of my post

[writing-with-olive]

How to make a call script to talk about a bill

Alright, so if you're here you've probably seen those posts about "call your senator/rep/whomever about xyz" but then don't include a script. Here's a formula to making your own. Remember that you will likely to be talking to an aide, not the person themself, so you'll be using third person (he/she) rather than second person (you/your). Once you fill in the script for yourself on whatever your issue is, pass that new script around. Calling your representatives is a numbers game, not a uniqueness game, and a completed script helps with accessibility.

If you want to do this but need help, especially if you're trying to call a politician who usually doesn't align with you, feel free to send me (op) an ask and I'll lend a hand. It's a good skill to have, but it's not always intuitive if you've never done it before!

Option 1: The Basic I've never had this version take more than a minute, and since the bulk of calls are boiled down to a yea/nay without much regard for content outside of that, it does it's job.

Hi. I'm calling today from [place your person represents] as a constituent of [name of your person]. I heard about [bill number], or the [name of bill], and was calling to express my [support/concern] for it, as it would seriously [benefit/harm][name of your person]'s constituents in my community. Because of this, I'm calling on [him/her] to vote [yes/no] when the bill comes to a floor vote. (They'll say that they'll pass it along) Thank you, I appreciate that. Have a good day. *hang up*

Option 2: The Deluxe This one takes a little more effort, but can help your call stand out a bit, which helps indicate that you actually do care. Before you call, look on their website to see if they've supported any initiatives similar to the one you're calling about (even if it's kinda tangential). This works because most people call to complain, so saying "you're doing a good job" is a nice change of pace. They're people too, even if they're detached.

Hi. I'm calling today from [place your person represents] as a constituent of [name of your person]. I heard about [bill number], or the [name of bill], and was calling to express my [support/concern] for it, as it would seriously [benefit/harm][name of your person]'s constituents in my community by [main selling point of your bill/reason to vote it down]. As someone who expects my [office of person]s to look out for the people of [place your person represents], I was pleased to see [name of person] vote [for/against] the [name of bill] bill, showing their commitment to [main selling point of example bill/reason to vote it down]. To continue this trend, I'm calling on [him/her] to vote [yes/no] when the [name of bill] comes to a floor vote. (They'll say that they'll pass it along) Thank you, I appreciate that. Have a good day. *hang up*

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Aaaaa Yuuna is so cuuutee 💗😆 Her hair is so prettyyy. But with the addition of the new Yuu I’ve come up with a theory that with the pattern the mangas have taken so far, they’ll start switching back and fourth between male and female yuus for the rest of the dorms:

Heartslabyul - Yuuken (Male)

Savanaclaw - Yuuka (Female)

Octavinelle - Yuuta (Male)

Scarabia - Yuuna (Female)

Pomefiore - Male

Ignihyde - Female

Diasomnia - Male

Just something I came up with that i wanted to share with you ^^ Also who is the manga artist for Scarabia 🤔

[Referencing the Episode of Scarabia!]

Lots of Yuuna-related asks recently (and for good reason!) so I decided to lump them all into one post :DD

Yes, Yuuna is very cute~ The alternating genders of the manga!Yuus has actually been a pretty popular theory for a while now, actually! Some believe this is meant to be the Yuus having the opposite genders as the Great Seven member of their respective books/dorms. But yeah, the pattern seems likely at this point.

The mangaka for the Episode of Scarabia is Majiko-sensei! They have previously contributed a chapter to the manga anthology. You can read more about their past works here.

I'm not sure if "[taking] care of [one's] appearance" is the right phrase to use (as it unintentionally implies other Yuus are slobs/don't care about how they present themselves, when that's definitely not the case)? Maybe it would be more accurate to say, "Yuuna has stereotypically feminine aesthetic tastes", though it's more immature and preppy than Vil's is. I think Yuuna has a cuteness that's more characteristic of Cater than Vil--but all three of them definitely have overlap in their interests in makeup, fashion, social media, etc. I feel like Yuuna would get along with them both!! We do technically see her interacting with Cater (they take a selfie before he departs for winter break) and are assumed to have already known each other due to the events of books 1 and 2. Too bad we don't really get to see them interact in those books... and that we won't see Yuuna interact with Vil for the Episode of Pomefiore. We'll have a new Yuu by then (which gets into my disappointment with never being able to fully follow a single manga!Yuu and their character arc through to the end of the main story...)💦

Yeah, it's nice to have variety in the manga!Yuus' personalities, skillsets, and interests! ^^ It makes them a lot of fun to follow, even if we know they'll only be with us for the length of one book/dorm.

I've personally really been loving Yuuta and Yuuna a lot. Yuuken and Yuuka are also nice, but I find that their general characters are kind of similar (athletic and level-headed) and don't differ enough to result in interactions unique from game!Yuu (with perhaps the exception of them being able to physically contribute to battles). This is not true of Yuuta and Yuuna, whose abilities extend to other areas and therefore have a larger impact on the world and its characters. For example, Yuuta's love of food + cooking skill has him shouting at Grim sometimes for not appreciating food, but it also becomes excellent leverage for sleeping over at Savanaclaw later in book 3. You can also see how Yuuna's outgoing personality would draw people to her and allow her to make connections.

The manga!Yuus also speak to the diversity of Yuus we see in the fandom. I know a lot of us were waiting for a girl Yuu (which we got with Yuuka), a Yuu of different body type (which we got with Yuuta), and a very femme presenting Yuu (which we got with Yuuna). Yuuken is also great because he was the first Yuu we got that actually had the ability and the confidence in his fighting capabilities to charge head-on into an OB fight.

As I state in my pinned post, manga raws generally come from Monthy GFantasy, which publishes new chapters of the Twst manga online each month. You must PAY to access those raws.

In the case of the Episode of Scarabia, the full first volume was released in today. It is avaliable on Kindle through the Amazon JP store. This is still something you would need to PAY for if you're interested in seeing the full thing right away.

I cannot provide full chapters to the public, as this is paid content that I receive from my own friends who subscribe to GFantasy and/or who bought the first volume of Scarabia on Kindle. You can make your own decision whether or not you wish to purchase for yourself; however, there is most likely a scanlation team that will put out an English version sooner or later. Again though, this would surely take some time to get done, especially when there's 4 chapters of Scarabia to translate.

[dogcircle-scans]

I'm really curious to know if you have officially dropped the manga. If so (and even if not obvs), I'd just like to thank you for so many amazing years of awesome translations. This manga may not be very popular in the west but I'm glad you kept bringing it for so many of us

Hey, sorry for just now seeing this even though this question was sent back in late November.

No, we haven't officially dropped the manga, and Idk if any group has picked up the series while I was gone. Emphasis on the "I" because our absence was not a consenting choice made by anyone else in this group. So if anyone harbors any kind of resentment, then do not direct it towards anyone but me. If we ever decide to officially drop the series, I'll make an official announcement on this blog. To be honest, I wasn't really gonna make much hubbub about a comeback and just post a chapter as if no time had passed. But, because I got this question and you were very nice about it. I'll give some insight.

- 🦙

The only reason I'm an active part of this fandom (any fandom now really) despite it being against my lurker nature and excessive anxiety issues is because I was encouraged to do so by a friend. If you know me from Discord, then you probably know that aside from running this blog, I'm leader of the scan group and owner of its server, I'm even an admin for the Natsume fan server which is its own separate thing.

I don't know if that sounds already sounds overwhelming, but just to scare you, I also proofread the scripts so the dialogue sounds natural and act as quality checker for each chapter. This means cleaning/redrawing sections of pages if the CLDR forgot or didn't meet the standard of quality I'm looking for. Similar with typesetting, I'll rearrange the text if I feel it could be done better. I'm also the main SFX person. When it comes to the scan server, outside of running and maintaining it, I also act as mod to make sure people aren't posting anything inappropriate or inoffensive + setting up bots and permissions.

When I was in High School and even during my early years of college, I could manage it cause I had the support and energy for it. Plus, my love for Natsume was scary intense. So when life got hard, I found that working on scans acted as a lifeline.

Then I had a messy fallout with the friend who prompted all of this, and things shifted. It didn't help that things in my personal life got really bad and more or less stayed that way for 2/3 years. And because of the association, and the guilt of falling behind, working on Natsume was no longer a stress-relieving activity. It became the source of my stress. I ran away because I was scared and overwhelmed. It wasn't healthy and it only made things worse, honestly.

But, I've been really hard on myself over this past year, and I finally reached the point of wanting to come back, but the guilt from being a deadbeat was still eating me alive. Then I got really sick at the start of this month, and I'm no lie, I'm still sick... but that gave me a lot of time to think and reevaluate all kinds of things. Because honestly? I miss working on scans and the collaborative aspect that I fell in love with because of Natsume.

And literally just this past Saturday/Sunday night, I sent a message to the group, apologizing for what I did and provided a similar explanation of why I did what I did. I trying it as just an explanation and not an excuse - I hope I was able to do that here too.

I told my group to give me several days before I actually start working on scans again, though, because it'll allow me to catch up with everything and figure out what needs to be done next, and it'll also give me more time to recover.

Thank you once again for being kind and understanding! I really appreciate it 🥹💚

[d011zk1ll]

Soooo... New years appreciation post time!!

Honestly, Tumblr is one of the few places where I can just. THINK. And I'll find like-minded people. Like .. where are you all irl??? At the beginning of this year I had, what? 50 followers. And now I have 300 something. Please don't ACTUALLY follow me, especially home! From ASMP, to SBG, I've found brilliant, creative people on this app. I've made some amazing friends, and some moots that I sit and marvel at on a daily basis. How I got here, I'm not sure. But I know some people have seen the entire progression, like @easybakeovenn (I'm praying that's Koda's easybakeoven account, if not!! I'm sorry random person/gen!!)

There will be special mentions under the cut, obviously!!

@what-is-going-on-im-confused ah... Good old Meels. I still sit and stare at the art you've made of Mao and Scarabella daily, I don't think you know how much I SCREAMMMEDDD at Koda when you showed me it. It's, well, incredible. YOU'RE incredible. You're funny, and one of my best mates. Though we still need to restart that stardew farm at some point... This time with the chickens... Thank you for helping me with alyanette august, and I'm really happy you did, because else you'd have hidden away in a corner somewhere, and we wouldn't nearly be as close as we are now

@rot-decay-erosion @catladymasterofsqirl RAGHHHHH I LOVE YOU GUYS. you always find the best stuff to play, and although I wouldn't trust Rot to drive a car, I'd still trust you with my life if I came down to it. You're both such, well I've said It a lot already but, brilliant people. It's always fun to hang out with you, whether it's taking and texting about random things, or playing horror games on call, it's always a nice way to Brighten my day!!

@easybakeovenn @drac0line1nn1t ah.. We've been THROUGHHHHH it the past couple years, we'll have known eachother for 2 years this year. Fucking fascinating. I've seen you both grow and I'm so glad I have, you're amazing people. Even if I don't get the opportunity to talk to you, Draco, often due to my Tumblr DMS being broken half the time, I'm still glad we're friends. We need to do Brighton again sometime!!! And koda... Don't perish when you move like a fish in a fishtank....

@thurio-edau thank you, for attacking me in my DMS and SWARMING me with one of my first SBG posts. Else I'd not have known half the amazing people like @ohquail or @fly-in-amber or Kaz (who's tag ive forgotten... I'm GREATTTT at this, if you couldn't tell) you're funny and I'll never forget when you cut the chocolate with that dagger necklace

Special mentions than I can't write a paragraph for because my early onset probable arthritis is kicking in and my wrists are dying slowly: @low-senka @carpetbug @primalmagic @afrogwhocantdraw @sashaishere14 @cookiedough77 @pineapple-sbg-official (I'm @cimonofficial I just didn't know your main and honestly, you're pretty cool so you make it here too!! YIPPEE)

And all my other moots. Ily guys MWAH happy new year!!

[whatevertheweather]

Thank you all for the tags @run-for-chamo-miles @monbons @forabeatofadrum @rimeswithpurple @ileadacharmedlife @artsyunderstudy @noblecorgi @you-remind-me-of-the-babe! You're all making me very emotional about fandom, and my TBR has gotten out of control.

So. It's 2024 for a little bit more. I'm not sure what's going to happen as I write this post, but I know it's not going to be succinct, so we're just going to start below the cut and see what happens.

I'm waffling over where to start, but I've decided on what we're here for, which is the fic recap. I did actually make fic goals in 2024, and I did actually meet some of them, which I'm trying to focus on instead of the parts I didn't meet. Here's a nice lil screenshot to sum that up.

I did give Bait and Switch a checkmark after some hesitation, because it says ongoing, and I did keep it going. I just didn't finish. (The new goal is before CORB 2025 I guess.)

So I completed 2 fics. Continued 1. Posted 60,917 words, AO3 says, even though that's including the chapters of the WIPs I started last year, and by my clumsy calculations with that in mind, it's actually 32,990. Did not meet my goals, struggled to write most of the time, but when I was looking for these stats, I found AO3 doesn't even give me a 2023 tab (rip first chaps of Bait and Switch and Musical Chairs, I guess), so it's an improvement over last year.

It just doesn't feel like it, because so much of what I did is unposted. So those are the stats I'm gonna give.

Words that didn't get posted: 23.5k

Fics this close to done that I just couldn't get any farther on: 4

Fics started: 3

Fics lovingly revisited after being abandoned for a long while: 2

Number of projects I got really excited about writing: 3

Number of times I wrote AHAHAHA in brainstorming documents because I figured out what I need to do to fix the problems I was having: 5

How long it will take me to turn those ahas into action: I cannot possibly say

Number of times I should have reached out for brainstorming help: 50, probably

Number of times I actually reached out: 3, I think

It's these last two points I actually care about. Well, no, I care about all of it, but it's these last two I've been thinking about. I had writing goals for 2024, I'm going to have writing goals for 2025, but I also had a more nebulous goal to participate in fandom more, and that's the one I'm actually bothered about not meeting.

I have a bad habit of thinking the only way I can participate is by getting fic done. Sharing it. Posting snippets if it's not done. Like I can only rejoice in other people's WIPsday posts if I have my own, instead of just being inspired by other people's writing and art. Or I can only share excitement or progress if I'm sure it's going to go somewhere, instead of just posting what I have and letting the community of it all be its own excitement. Or I can only comment if I have the headspace to put together a stunning review that perfectly encapsulates what I liked about a fic/art/anything, instead of just saying what I can or messaging someone to tell them I loved the thing they made, as if I don't know how wonderful it feels when that happens.

I'm getting sappy and maudlin on main, but I appreciate this fandom so much, even when I revert to lurking, and I want so much to get back to participating and talking to people and sharing in all the amazing wonderful things this fandom does. Y'all are some of the most talented and creative and kind people and I adore you all. So that's my main (fandom-related) goal for 2025, and any fic completed will just be bonus points.

But! Since we're here for fic at the end of the year, I will round out this rambling post by saying there are at least 3 ideas I'm hopeful I'll be able to maintain my current level of enthusiasm for, and beyond that there are about 5 that are a few sentences away from done, so there's hope for seeing at least some fic from me in the new year. Related, here's a peek at the first three documents on my drive.

Two of these fall in the "a few sentences away from done good lord why can't you just finish this" category. The other one falls in the category of things I'm actually very excited about, and hope to at least have a WIPsday post for it before too long. Because I'm thinking keeping things secret for fear of never finishing them is actually kind of silly, and I don't need to keep trying to create things in a vacuum.

Finally, a mess of tags that is me waving hello with both hands: @fatalfangirl @moodandmist @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @whogaveyoupermission

@mostlymaudlin @sillyunicorn @aristocratic-otter @bookish-bogwitch @alexalexinii

@ivelovedhimthroughworse @iamamythologicalcreature @ionlydrinkhotwater @thewholelemon @bluedahlia912

@youarenevertooold @cutestkilla @raenestee @confused-bi-queer @basiltonbutliketheherb

[kurizeria]

Update on Eulogy of Starlight account shadowban

(👆Wowie! A chapter 2 teaser!!!! my baby gorl.......)

So it looks like the shadowbanning is not just a me issue at all, and I've seen a lot of people mentioning on reddit that they've been shadowbanned and it's taken anywhere from a week to several months to hear back about it. I've had zero response from support so far, so I'm starting to expect it'll be around a month minimum since the subject of shadowban is a bit lower of a priority.

I thought about remaking the blog, but then what's the point if it might just happen again? Am I gonna make a new blog every time? Hell no lmao. So I've decided I'm going to hunker down and continue running the account as normal, BUT I'm making some compromises until support gets back to me... which is hopefully sometime soon.

What does this mean?

While @eulogyofstarlight is shadowbanned and cannot post in tags or anything else related to interactivity, any MAJOR announcements will be posted from this account (@kurizeria) for viewability, such as releases of chapters and anecdotes. Most other things will remain posted only on the sideblog (concept arts, fun facts, etc).

If I'm lucky, support will get back to me before chapter 2's release, and then I won't have to do any of this, but I'm not holding my breath.

Additionally, since it's probably gonna be a while, I've closed asks on eulogyofstarlight and forwarded the ask page to send to my main account here. The ask box in the FAQ has been removed for now. If I can tell that an ask was meant for EoS, any asks sent to my main will instead be screencapped and posted on eulogyofstarlight with the answer.

AO3

Once chapter 2 is finished, I plan to post the comic chapters on AO3 as well. (My account is empty, but it's here.) I'm not sure if I can make the images seamless yet since I haven't tried it myself yet, but every comic I saw on there has gaps between the pictures, nooooo my aesthetic- As for the anecdotes, don't think I'll post the anecdotes unless I can format the images the same way as I can on here.

In the meantime, tentatively gonna say that the original English version of chapter 2 will be ready to publish either at end of January or early half of February. I'm sorry for the large gap between the introductory and the 2nd chapter, I was really busy during November-December so I just didn't have the time to work on it.

I greatly appreciate the support I've received during this time, and hopefully this will be resolved soon enough. I look forward to sharing chapter 2 with you all soon. 💗

[blackbird-brewster]

Meta: Jemily Queerbaiting

With the huge influx of posts saying 'Jemily is gonna be canon', I really appreciated seeing this post because OP was completely correct. I didn't want to write an entire dissertation as a reply, so I'm making my own post with my personal opinion on this. (All sources are noted in footnotes)

Before I began this rant, for anyone who thinks this is anti-Jemily. It is not. I have shipped Jemily for 18 friggin years and that's never going to change. This post is specifically my thoughts about queer baiting.

First off, I need to note that the showrunners (and the cast members who use social media) KNOW what a huge queer following this show has and that's why we got pansexual Tara Lewis in S16 [1]. Which, in itself, was SOOOOOOO important!!! Our first canonically queer main in SIXTEEN seasons was a middle-aged Black woman!!! That's phenomenal. (The fact it was horrible rep, because they instantly ruined her relationships once her queerness served it's plot point is a whole other post entirely)

In my opinion, the 'big Jemily moment' Paget posted about on Twitter [2] (and AJ hinted at during a recent IG live) is simply queerbaiting to get people to watch S17. I know a lot of you are newer to the fandom and I love your enthusiasm, I really do, ship and let ship, but listen, let's be real, Jemily is not going to be made canon. The showrunners aren't going to suddenly say (after 17 seasons) 'Surprise, Jemily is endgame'. This show has never cared about queer rep and now that CBS/Paramount have already ticked their queer rep box with Tara, they won't be in any rush to add any other characters to it.

Please buckle in, I've got a lot of thoughts on this matter --

What is Queerbaiting?

If you aren't aware of what queerbaiting is, here's a good definition:

Historically, queerbaiting has carried two meanings: the first is an act of aggressive heterosexuality to shut down queer subtext on screen while still teasing and catering to the queer audience in advertising, public relations, and fan engagement strategies; the second is an existing homoerotic tension between two characters played up on screen while met with derision by the professionals behind the scenes. [3]

The Medium article quoted here is from 2017, a time when parasocial relationships were really starting to take over social media. In 2024, actors are now only a mention or tag away online, they have direct conversations with fans, and this process has allowed for an even deeper form of queerbaiting.

Oftentimes online, actors are asked directly about certain ships and while some ignore these questions (usually to avoid breaking their contracts or other repercussions), others (looking at you, Paget) choose to instead tease fans about queer ships. She's done this for years upon years and if I've learned anything in the past twenty-years of existing in fandom spaces it's this -- don't hold your breath. In it's original meaning, for something to be deemed as queerbaiting there had to be malicious, or at least, purposeful intent to string queer fans along by teasing them with suggestive content about the ship in question, while knowing this ship will never come to fruition in canon.

The thing to remember is, Paget and AJ aren't the only ones who know about Jemily shippers -- the network and showrunners are well aware of this ship too. When networks/showrunners figure out they have a strong sapphic fanbase, they love to use that to their advantage to get more viewers and higher ratings. Queerbaiting is a goldmine to keep fans watching long running shows, look at Rizzoli and Isles, Supergirl, and OUAT for examples of this.

Jemily and Queerbaiting:

Ever since Emily joined the BAU in S2 (2006), there have always been fans who ship JJ/Emily (shoutout to the old LJ forums!). Way before celebs were just a tweet away from fans, back when all our fics began with disclaimers so we wouldn't get sued by networks, we went to great lengths to keep our fanworks far removed from actors/showrunners attention.

As far as Jemily goes, this reply from Paget in a 2009 interview with TVGuide.com [4] (which has now been deleted from their site unfortunately, but there are quotes on Tumblr still [4.a]) confirmed some fans' worst fear -- the actors had found our fanworks online.

TVGuide.com: Of course, a band of fans want her to hook up with Hotch.

Brewster: I know! I didn't realize that fans make these videos on YouTube? A.J. Cook sent me a hilarious one that made it look like Prentiss and J.J. were having a secret lesbian affair. You know, when Hotch was blown up in the SUV, we shot this scene where he's in the hospital and I'm standing next to him, looking at his bleeding ear. Our director came in and said, "Paget, you're looking at Hotch like you're in love with him. It looks really weird." So now, every day, Thomas [Gibson] and I flutter our eyelids at each other.

This was the first time I recall anyone acknowledging Jemily shippers publicly and at the time (Jan 2009), the show was still in Season Four (just before CBS fired both AJ and Paget [5]). Paget genuinely said it's 'hilarious' that fans shipped JJ/Emily. Even now, I'll see people say 'We know Paget and AJ have seen Jemily fanvids, so they obviously ship it too' -- but those same people rarely acknowledge the full context of the original answer. Paget not only thought JJ/Emily were 'hilarious', but then she doubled down and turned her reply back to how she and Thomas liked to play up the chemistry between Emily/Hotch.

While no one can say for sure which video it was that AJ sent Paget, just knowing they were watching JJ/Emily fanvids sent a bit of a shockwave through the femslash side of the fandom. To some it felt like an invasion of privacy, fanworks are by fans for fans -- knowing the cast were poking around in fandom spaces added an extra layer of worry around what we fans were posting online. Fifteen years ago, it used to be quite taboo for actors to outwardly discuss shipping or other fanon for whatever show they were in, and we fans were usually comfortably removed from the actors altogether.

Of course, now it's the norm for fans and actors/showrunners to co-exist online and interact with one another. This connection has opened new ways for shows to queerbait their fans. Pretty much every show has some form of social media account now and there is no doubt that the people running those accounts keep up with the most popular ships and hashtags. Not to mention that actors are constantly barraged with questions about whether they ship their character with x,y,z, or whether they think a ship should be made canon, etc. These interactions only serve to benefit the shows themselves, because whether the conversation is for or against a certain ship, it's all just free publicity (Why do you think CM now has a TikTok account?)

Every time AJ or Paget say anything about Jemily, the queer side of the fandom loses their minds. But this has been going on for YEARS now and every single time, it turns out to be nothing but social media hype and queerbaiting. Remember this AJ post? [6] Or what about the notorious reply by Paget to a fan, where she talks about how she and AJ held hands under the table 'for the shippers' [7] I've seen this cycle over and over again, so perhaps I am cynical, but I'm not getting my hopes up that Jemily will ever seriously be canon.

It's widely known now, after both Kirsten [8] and Paget [9] have talked about it, that there was an early idea where Prentiss was supposed to be queer, but that was ultimately scraped before it ever made it on screen. For context, please remember, this show has been airing for nearly twenty years. It began in 2005, during the highly conservative Bush administration. Queer people didn't have rights in the US, we couldn't get married, we were rarely protected under discrimination laws, and we could even be fired for simply being queer (in some states). Diverse queer representation on screen was extremely limited to things like 'The L Word' and 'Queer as Folk' (both aired on Showtime, so they were behind a paywall. And as far as tLw goes, that show was extremely male-gaze focused and is horrible in nearly all regards if you try to rewatch it now). As far as prime time shows went, queer rep was even more rare. Which is why Emily wasn't queer from the get-go.

Yes, things have changed since 2006 in terms of queer rep on TV. We have a myriad of queer identities represented in TV and film nowadays, which is why I think it's so easy for newer fans to say 'lf she was supposed to be gay anyway, they should just make Emily queer in canon!' I know this is what fuels most fans' demands for Emily being confirmed queer, and I get it, I DO. I would be all for it! However, I do not, in one hundred years, actually believe that is going to happen after they already canonically queer confirmed Tara in S16. The fact we even got ONE queer character is ground-breaking for this show.

It's also worth noting, that in the time between Paget's departure in 2012 and her return in 2016, she became very active on Twitter. This was when more and more fans began asking her about Jemily and after Kirsten's AfterEllen interview, fans also pushed for Paget to address the possibility of Emily being gay. 'Pushed' is actually an understatement for some of the outright harassment she would receive. (AJ received some of this harassment too, but less so because she doesn't use social media ass often) Back then, neither of them replied to these things directly. Yet, no matter what either woman posted, the replies were full of Jemily stans begging for her acknowledgement. (Did you know 'stan' is literally a term coined for stalker fans?) I remember one time AJ's friend was missing and she posted info on her IG about it, you know what the replies were? People asking her about Jemily. It was genuinely sickening.

Within this context, it was no surprise to fans when Emily came back in S12 , she and JJ's friendship was seemingly erased. The two women were rarely on screen together in the late seasons, plus the writers saw fit to even give Emily not only one (Mark in London, but two, on-screen boyfriends for the first time in the entire series. I personally do not think these changes to Emily's character were coincidence, I saw the hellscape of what people would say to AJ and Paget online and I fully believe that upon Paget's return to the show, the showrunners purposely tried to distance JJ and Emily to dissuade the more abusive side of the fanbase.

Can I prove that, no. But it is the only reason I can think of as to why Emily S12+ seemingly didn't care about JJ anymore, despite their deep and meaningful friendship. I mean, they both CROSSED THE WORLD to go rescue each other in prior canon -- but when Emily comes back, they acted like they barely knew each other. This was even more prevalent in S16, when JJ's main storylines all revolved around Will, and Emily barely looked at JJ in the entirety of ten episodes. (Remember how Prentiss didn't even hug JJ after bomb, but she did go hug Luke?)

So, do Paget and AJ earnestly ship Jemily, or are they continuing the long tradition of queerbaiting us? Who fucking knows, not me. But based on the history of this fandom, I think I can make a safe bet. (Interestingly, if you search all of Paget's twitter for the word 'Jemily' [10] she only has 3 direct tweets mentioning the ship. I don't think it's a coincidence that two are within the past few months since they started filming S17 (the other one was a RT of Kirsten (who tagged something Jemily)

This is all to say --

Just because Paget and AJ have publicly talked about Jemily,, this doesn't mean it's ever going to happen on screen. And you know what, THAT'S OKAY!! There has been this constant outcry (after Tara became queer confirmed) of 'Do Emily next' or 'Why wasn't it Emily with a girlfriend!?' and 'Jemily needs to be canon in S17!' -- as if people believe their ships aren't worth anything unless they are canon.

That couldn't be further from the truth! Fandom is built on headcanons and fan interpretations and rare pairs and all types of shippers. Your ship does NOT need to be canon for you to enjoy it. I will ship Jemily forever, no matter what. I don't think there will be some magical queer plot in S17, at best, we might actually get to see Emily/JJ on screen together again and after the train wreck that was S16 -- I'll take whatever I can get.

And hey -- if I am completely wrong, if Erica Messer pulls a Korrasami out of her hat, I will be ecstatic. I will be happy to be proved wrong, but at the same time, I'm not going to lose sleep over it and I'm DEFINITELY not going to go hound the actors about it on social media.

Sources:

[1] 2022 Digital Spy article about the importance of Tara's coming out

[2] 04/18/24 Paget Tweet

[3] 2017 Queerbaiting article from medium.com

[4] 2009 Broken TVGuide link

[4.a] Tumblr quote from the above TVGuide Interview

[5] 2010 Kirsten interview screenrant.com

[6] 2019 AJ Instagram Post

[7] 2020 Paget video on Twitter (via @karasluthqr)

[8] 2015 Kirsten interview AfterEllen.com

[9] 2016 Paget Interview CriminalMindsFans.com

[10] @PagetPaget search 'Jemily'

[aroaceleovaldez]

random question but i came across a post of yours where you talked about how mark oshiro sort of erased an aspect of nico's ADHD by making a joke about how he only liked mythomagic cards because he's gay and there are hot guys on the cards, and then TSATS also seemed to really downplay the themes of neurodivergence in the series. and it made me wonder if you have any thoughts on how the show has portrayed the demigods' ADHD and dyslexia so far? i've seen some people say that the show also downplayed it a lot, and i'm inclined to agree... which feels really weird considering that rick's own son's neurodivergence was specifically a major inspiration for him writing the series. but if i recall correctly a lot of scenes showcasing that in the first book were taken out of the show.

Oh absolutely, a lot of scenes and general discussion about adhd/dyslexia were removed in the show (and some of the disability-coding in general - i appreciate the change they made with making Chiron disabled based on his mythos rather than just using a wheelchair as a disguise, but i wish they had kept Grover's crutches in a similar manner honestly) - I've made a couple of posts discussing it: here, here, and this reblog is relevant to my opinions about the matter. There's probably some other stuff in my pjo tv crit tag.

I think the main sentiment i have regarding it - which i've seen a couple of other people mention as well - is how much the show ignores or outright removes and downplays Percy's personal struggles with his disabilities to instead emphasize Sally's experiences instead, particularly in manners of her taking out her stress on Percy - which alongside being completely antithetical to Sally's role in the books, is pretty ableist and why I continually compare show!Sally to Autism Speaks Parents. Autism Speaks tends to make an emphasis on the struggles of the parents of autistic children rather than treating autistic individuals like a person experiencing their own struggles. One of the major points of Sally's character (and later Paul) in the books is that she's an incredibly accommodating parent and works hard to make sure Percy is supported when he's struggling with his disabilities, because he's not been able to find that accommodation elsewhere. That's part of why Sally is such a great mom in particular, and is intentionally supposed to directly contrast Annabeth's home life struggles with her parents having difficulty navigating how to provide that same level of accommodation to help support her (and how Annabeth finds that accommodation at CHB instead, because that's the metaphor that CHB is supposed to represent - an appropriately accommodating system they can rely on, and then exploring how that's still a flawed system and looking at how disabled kids/demigods fall through the cracks and how to change the system to better support them).

The show also almost completely ignores Percy's ADHD/dyslexia experiences in general after the first episode. I was honestly really happy with, in the first episode, how clearly Percy's poor experiences in the American education system, particularly relating to his neurodivergence, have informed his reaction to situations such as people trying to tell him he's a demigod in coded language. It was essentially the perfect update to something i've discussed in the past here, about how the original "all demigods have adhd/dyslexia because it's secretly SUPERPOWERS" thing was presented as the basis for the series and why that teaching/parenting style fell out of favor. We see Percy in e1 acknowledge how dismissive of his struggles it is to constantly just be told he's "special" - and we even get explicit acknowledgement of how that description is used aggressively and for ostracization (from Nancy), which is extremely true to the experiences of kids who grew up with that teaching/parenting structure. But then we get to episode 2 and... all the acknowledgement of ADHD/dyslexia/etc is gone. We get at most a one-off acknowledgement from Luke that demigods are all neurodivergent and that's it. Pretty much nothing else for the entire rest of the season, save for flashback scenes that only emphasize Sally's experiences, not acknowledge Percy's. No further acknowledgement of Percy's dyslexia, or Annabeth's, or anything about their ADHD, or even Percy's completely removed PTSD (which we know for sure because of both writer commentary [see: that second post i linked about the LA Times article] and Percy's total lack of reaction to Mr. D). Nothing.

It was extremely disheartening to say the least, having such a strong start and it evaporating completely, and I fully agree with you.

[pentition]

As usual, SPOILERS AHEAD.

Been thinking about some things as I lurk on the My Time/Sandrock Discords and subreddits. It's a blast seeing other Pen fans out in the wild. Actually, it's super comforting. I'm so used to liking niche titles or characters that don't get the love or introspection they deserve, regardless of where they fall on the morality spectrum.

I'm usually lurking. Liking comments or posts because I'm a shy creature on the social front, mixed with low energy all around. But one thing I always appreciate is seeing peoples perspectives and taking time to consider them. It doesn't matter how much or how little I agree/disagree - in the end, my brain incorporates what it views as right. And what it disagrees with, I further want to know about - but also won't be bothered if ideas I have don't match others. Echo chambers are boring. I want to see people take ideas that don't match mine and see if they make them work.

That all being said, I've had something on my mind regarding Pen for a number of weeks now. Between Reddit and Discord, there have been such interesting perspectives on people who want Pen to come back but then get split on him being romanceable in the future.

I've expressed in previous musings on here that I think the Sandrock Builder and Pen's history is something I love, and it wouldn't be the same with another character. But I also kind of failed to elaborate on that. After having some cool exchanges and hearing perspectives from various sides, I think I've settled more on where I am. Not that it matters to anyone but me, but it's a fun thought exercise to write out in regards to Pen's character.

I still believe Pen and the Sandrock Builder's relationship is like, my golden child for three main reasons:

1.) It has conflicting emotions both positive and negative. You get a full range of emotions. It's vague enough to allow people to speculate which also giving enough for people to know there was something serious there. I say serious because even if it was a ruse, it meant something to Pen based on how farewell and what he left behind if you romanced him. While I believe in the symbolism of what was left behind in the chest, I'm also try to take into account on the what-if that it doesn't matter to the devs the way it matters to us.

2.) Imagination is important. When you have a character like Pen, who is so himself but still shrouded in mystery, your mind tries to fill in the blanks and make sense of things. There's what we get, what we perceive and what is mixed up in the middle. Whether it's making things more toxic to making them more sincere, there's so much possibility with a character like Pen. It's appealing and an endless chew toy for my brain.

3.) The potential. This mixes the prior two. But it really comes down to it, the history they have and that potential of what could be is why I adore them. All relationships will encounter bad periods, it's what you do during those bad periods that define the outcome. Potential is always a defining aspect in anything, it's not something that has a moral compass - it just is what it is. Which means it's versatile. Potential is important to me, personally, so when I see a character like Pen who has so much of it... it's hard not to pay attention. And in instances like this where so much plot can exist, it's hard not to get invested.

Because I am not a big brain person and sleep deprived, here's the sentence that shittily segways into the next talking point that'll eventually circle back on the prior.

The diamond ring. What if it wasn't for the Sandrock Builder, but for whatever Builder (or other role) the player will have in a future game? Maybe the reason it dropped for everyone (and not a bug) was a two-fold reason. If the Sandrock Builder romanced Pen, it could be intended for them. If they didn't romance Pen, maybe it was a set up for a future game where Pen is romanceable again.

So, future romance possibilities with Pen. That's the talking point here. I said that the Sandrock Builder and Pen are my ideal because of the reasons above. Interesting history, imaginative with its positives and negatives, so much potential. Of course, I can only be biased because I don't know and haven't yet experienced the possibility of what it's like for Pen to be with another player character.

That being said, and despite my preference, I'd still be okay if Pathea had Pen in a future installment as a romanceable character for another character. Characters should be allowed to develop as characters that don't hinge on the player. And given people don't always play the games in order, it would be kind of sucky/selfish to deprive anyone of a Pentacular (sobad) romance route.

I've run a character and story editor job online since I was fifteen, I've done a lot of work in this area with clients and with my own work. And I've also been a DM/GM for about ten to fifteen years now. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that characters aren't great because of the writers - but because of who they are and can become as characters themselves. Just look at the differences between the Chinese and English versions of Pen. Yet despite the differences all Pen fans have found that same foundation that breaches language barriers and different writing directions. That is incredible core character foundation and it's that potential that has made me so invested in his character.

My ideal is probably so dumb sounding of a compromise. But it would be cool to reintroduce Pen in a future game with a romance rival option like Portia had. As in, if you want to romance Pen then you can. But if you don't, he automatically will seek out the Sandrock Builder. I don't mean up and leave asap, but whenever he is done having a role in that game he'd head out to find them. If Evershine is going to allow the Sandrock Builder to possibly appear, then why not do the same there? Only problem is it would be tricky to do a reunion that way when people have different perspectives of how it would go. Especially depending on how long it has been. It's easy to say, 'just let the player take control!' but the thing is, if players haven't played the previous games before (as in, they are a new player to the series) it wouldn't at all make any sense to do.

And selfishly, I'd totally want to have a game right after that returns to the Sandrock Builder for a Pen return. But then, that's only based on if the Builder was close or romanced Pen. For people who didn't care or go that route, it also wouldn't make sense to do.

So for a Pen and Sandrock Builder reunion that matters, we'd have to play as that Builder again in a future game. Maybe that means the Builder has to leave Sandrock for whatever reason. But it would have to be a reason that makes sense for people who didn't romance or care about Pen, too. It's all just tricky.

Which is why I thought a lot about a Pen romance without the Sandrock Builder. Of course there's potential there. It's not the same, as much as I'd love to explore my duo having a reunion. But it's not terrible either, to me, at least. In any case, Pen needs some time to figure his shit out as a person. If that means he grows and lets go of the past romance, that's okay. If it means he wants to try and see if he can salvage things after his betrayal, that's also okay. I just hope the devs come around to taking their audience seriously, because so far their players that like other characters (like Miguel, Burgess, even Ernest or Venti) aren't treated very respectfully for the characters they/their builder likes.

This is mostly be just airing out thoughts in my head since I wasn't too happy that a prior post or two didn't elaborate that I'd be okay if Pen moved on - even if I really want to see things work out between him and the Sandrock Builder. Both have strong narrative possibilities, but I like the ups and downs of the latter and the potential of it more at this time. Maybe that'll change in the future, whenever that game comes out. Who knows. ^^

[chronurgy]

20 writer questions

tagged by: @lamortwrites (thank you!)

Tagging: @andrigyn, @defira85, and anyone else who's interested! I'm a little behind the curve so I don't want to tag a bunch of people who've probably already done this, but please consider yourself tagged if you're interested

How many works do you have on ao3?

Nineteen!

What’s your total ao3 word count?

65,507

What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Möbius Strips and Other Such Eternities (T, 8k, Ketheric writes letters to Isobel after her resurrection) 2. Departure from the Vulgar Crowd (M, 5k, dark urge/gortash, first meeting) 3. They Who Seek to Deceive (M, 10k, dark urge/gortash, post-coronation reunion) 4. Would You Give the Devil This Dance? (Would You be a Part of His Plans?) (T, 8k, dark urge/gortash, Wyll goes to a party and tries to square a circle) 5. The Bloody Spectacle of It (T, 3k, dark urge/gortash, a bhaalist observes his god and master)

What fandoms do you write for?

Bg3 is the only fandom I've put anything up on ao3 for so far, but I've also got a critical role campaign 2 wip and some rogue trader wips that I'm working on!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Eventually (oops). I always try to respond because comments mean so much to me and I want the person who left the comment to know how much I appreciate it! I'm just, uh, bad at knowing how to do that so it sometimes takes me awhile

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh hmm, that's hard to say! A few of my fics end on darker or less happy notes, but those tend to lean closer toward horror than angst, if that makes sense. I think I'd have to say either Would You Give the Devil This Dance? (Would You be a Part of His Plans?) for just how hard Wyll is working to make things seem okay when they clearly aren't or Not Glory but Power for how the near triumphant ending for young Enver is curdled with our knowledge of where this will lead him.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Also a somewhat difficult question! Probably They Who Seek to Deceive, in the sense that the main two characters certainly seem very happy about how things have turned out!

Do you get hate on fics?

Happily, no.

Do you write smut?

I would say that I haven't yet, but on the other hand my spouse says that I absolutely do. When I pointed out that there isn't any sex in any of my fics, they just said "you know that's worse, right?" So I guess it all depends on what you consider smut lol.

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, but I might give it a try someday

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! I think my stuff is too niche to be worth stealing for clout, honestly

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, no way is anything I write on that level of popularity!

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have not! I have no idea how that would even work with my slow and chaotic writing process

What's your all time favorite ship?

Really, really good question. Hard to say. I think dark urge/gortash has to be up there. Shadowgast, obviously. Probably Merlin/Arthur from the TV show too (yes I have bad taste).

What's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have the start of a very long Gale pov fic that's meant to cover all of acts 1 and 2, plus a tiny bit of act 3. It was going to focus on Gale and Vesper's developing relationship, on Gale slowly putting the bhaalspawn-shaped pieces together, and on moral flexibility and the relationship between wizards and power. So an exceptionally long fic already, made longer by the long-winded chatteriness of Gale's pov reinforcing my own worst tendencies, lol. It's one of those things I doubt I'll ever finish just for the sheer length of it, especially given that I'm not the fastest writer and I keep putting it aside for other projects. Maybe someday!

What are your writing strengths?

I'm a pretty decent worldbuilder I think, though that doesn't necessarily get a lot of airtime in fic. I'm solid with character voice and internal monologue as well.

What are you writing weaknesses?

I get lost in the sauce really easily and end up writing more than is really necessary or helpful to tell the story I'm trying to tell. I'm tend towards overexplaning things and not trusting people to pick up in what I'm trying to say (I'm working on it!)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

If it's done to serve a purpose in the story, why not? Especially when you're pulling from a source material that does a lot of it to begin with.

First fandom you wrote for?

Almost certainly warrior cats

Favorite fic you've ever written?

It's tough and a very close competition, but in the end I think I have to go with They Who Seek to Deceive. The sheer amount of planning and double meaning I put into everything the characters say and don't say is what makes it for me, I think.

[caldella]

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to Stolas that you like?

AND/OR

8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to Stolas that you despise?

I thought you might like the choice to do a positive or negative post (or both!) 😊

Oh this is a good one! Had to think about giving one or two answers for a bit.

7. One thing I like: the creating!

Overall the Hellaverse has some of the most creative fans I've seen in a long time. From cosplay to art to fanfic to fan merch, it's incredible. I mentioned yesterday that Just Look My Way was basically my intro to the show. Paranoid DJ originally made that as a fan song back after Ozzie's. Without fans and what they create, especially for Stolas, I might have never checked the show out, who knows?

I also have a decent amount of fan merch (not as much as actual haha), and a lot of it is Stolas, so that falls into creating.

Some of my fan merch:

Second thing I like: the (productive) discussion!

Stolas has a lot to his story. Emotional neglect, a shitty life situation, domestic abuse, anxiety issues, depression issues, heavy behavioral masking, almost definitely neurodivergent (and I subscribe to the fan theory that he's autistic)... he's very complex. It's impossible to fully understand him without breaking down the how and why he got to who he is in the show. I see a lot of that, especially on here. And it's really interesting to discuss all of it and get standpoints/details that expand on him or make me understand things even I didn't get. I've had some incredible conversations about him and other characters, which makes me appreciate all of it even more.

8. A thing I don't like: misunderstanding/taking him at face value

None of the main HB characters can be taken at face value - they have way too much going on. I personally love when a story slowly develops to give us reasons/depth behind a character's actions, which is what they've done with Stolas. But I have seen some fans not understand it or complain that he was changed in S2, even though hints of all of this were already in S1 (seriously as someone who experienced an emotionally/verbally abusive family member, I started clocking the potential for that at Episode 2). People claim he's been 'woobified,' the ignore a lot of the behavior of other characters that might be similar, and they tend to pick apart his faults a lot. He does have a lot of them! But people hone in on the power dynamic the show starts him in and fail to see the deeper realities of it all. In fact, they seem to pick apart his faults more than other characters in the show. Stolas is a representation that being wealthy or from a good family doesn't shield you from abuse - that someone in a position of privilege can still be outcast and isolated. Someone can be comfortable in physical needs but emotionally miserable. I think someone here worded it that "the rich cannibalize their own" when someone among them doesn't fit into their strict expectations, and that's what Stolas is an example of. People who don't understand that really don't seem to 'get' what he represents, or they blame him for being abused. Blaming an abuse victim for their abuse really gets me. Escaping abuse isn't easy, no matter who or what you are, especially when you don't have a support system. And the point of his flaws are that his upbringing created a lot of them. He never had exposure to experience that might teach him better. My (least) favorite besides people excusing his abuse is when people want him to act more grounded in real/normal experience and social skills right away, when the show's gone to great lengths to tell us he's almost never had the chance to experience any relationship close to normal or healthy.

Thank you for the ask! <3

Link to the Ask Game for those not in the loop/curious to ask! (This is for any HB or even HH character or any other show/media I like tbh)

[onigiriforears]

After approx. 2-3 months of studying Japanese I started to read free graded readers online and then graduated to a collection of short stories that I purchased off of Amazon. I thought that the reason I was starting to have trouble understanding sentences was because I didn't know enough vocabulary but it was because I neglected grammar completely. It was sorta drilled into my head off of Youtube creators to just study kanji, vocab and simple sentences as much as possible before even touching grammar. I feel absolutely lost, dude. I am at the 5 month mark now. I can "breeze through" kanji for the most part. (as in, I can actually retain it in a decent amount of time) I decided to study grammar about a week ago. It is SO FREAKING HARD. I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what. I don't know if it's supposed to feel like what I thought I knew is being ripped apart at the seams, stapled together, and then torn apart again....but it does.

Do you have any tips for learning grammar? Is this feeling normal? Can you tell me when the pressure in my skull will subside? I am using Bunpro's free trial but I'm unsure if this tool will actually help me. I write tons of notes to flip through but I still fail to give them the nuanced answer they're looking for. I really enjoy the setup of Bunpro and I want to like it since it's similar to WK but I'm not sure if I'm going too fast or there's a better way to learn. I stopped learning 5 new grammar points a day and started doing only 2. (I also have Genki I and watch GameGengo. He explains things in a way that's easy for my brain to understand.) Sorry for the long post but any insight would be appreciated. I'm a bit nervous asking people in the language learning community for help or insight because a lot of them treat it as a way to show how fast they learned/1-up others. Tumblr's langlearn community is a lot different with what I've seen (or maybe I'm just following the right ppl lol)

Hi! Thank you so much for waiting for this response--I'm sorry it took so long. Your message was one of the ones that popped up when they locked my ask box (they actually still haven't answered me on why it was locked so 🤷‍♀️). To make up for that, I'm gonna be longwinded because I think that this is a super valid and important question that others may also want to know the answer to!!

Pls pls PLEASE DM me if none of this is helpful or if you'd like to talk more about what you think you need help with!!

I think that sometimes when we're learning a new language that we know is so overwhelmingly different from our own language, we focus on the things that we think will be the main hinderance and sometimes we forget the key points. You might be thinking "how did I forget grammar?" but I would say don't beat yourself up about it! Many of us focus on the things that we think are our problems(--the last time I studied for the JLPT, I focused on my weak point too much and then was frustrated with myself during the exam bc I neglected the other areas.)

I don't want to lie to you and say that learning grammar is going to get easier because that's not the case for everyone. Think of learning grammar vs everything else as learning different types of math or science--have you ever had a friend that was absolutely phenomenal at algebra or calculus but couldn't do geometry? Or a friend that was wonderful lab partner in chemistry but struggled in biology? They're struggling in biology because it requires a ton of rote memorization in comparison to practical application and math that's present in chemistry and rote memorization may not necessarily be their strong point. Personally, I think that's also why a lot of us struggle with certain grammar points. There are some that just click with us immediately and then there are others that we have to see over and over and over and over and over--you get the point--just for us to find a single sentence with it that we understand. If you're math oriented, we need to figure out a way to no longer make grammar points rote memorization for you, but to turn it into a formula of some sort. I actually write my notes out in ways that are like that--I use plus signs (+) in my notes not because the textbooks use them but because my brain genuinely reads it as "noun + particle + grammar point = a sentence that makes sense" because, for me, formulas don't fail. Your weak point doesn't have to be your weakness--you can turn the weakness into a strength that works just for you.

I've been going at this for years and every single professor or Japanese friend (or even people from the discord server) I have can tell you that I've struggled with pretty much any grammar point that included ~ように--and it wasn't because I wasn't trying, but because I couldn't find myself using any sentences that with those grammar points because I found the alternatives/similar ones to make more sense. Surprisingly, it wasn't until I was reading 夜カフェ for our book club that I was actually able to start grasping the meaning (ngl, I still haven't used it myself--I'm notorious for using alternatives); I was finally witnessing it being used in a way that made sense in my brain.

The frustration you're feeling when you encounter a new grammar point or overload yourself with too many things in one go is completely normal and I promise that a ton of us in the Japanese langblr community have definitely experienced it too! It probably feels like everything you know is being ripped apart because your native language may have a SVO (subject-verb-object) format while Japanese has a SOV (subject-object-verb) format--your 1-to-1 translations for your notes may not be helpful in the beginning because you're still trying to wrap your brain around the fact that your words still need to go in another order than you're used to. And then you add the new grammar points and concepts on top of that (like particles and other things) and it can become overwhelming and frustrating. Sometimes, you're going to find some grammar points just downright annoying--especially when you find that there's no equivalency to it in your own language. But don't give up!

I know this is a super cliché thing to say, but practicing them will help. If you can, I would make note of the grammar points that you're struggling with, try to make sentences with them, and ask somebody to check them and explain exactly why (or why not) they're working and then ask them for examples because they may have an even better way of explaining it to you than what you've come up with for yourself!

I can look back at old notes and see when I wrote a sentence as an example just because a textbook/professor used it but I didn't actually understand why it worked at the time and then I can also find notes where the sentences written as examples were added once I finally found something that clicked for me.

You've already done yourself a favor by learning a lot of vocab, kana, and kanji because now you'll be able to try out an array of ways to pick up grammar instead of just a textbook. (I will make a note that if you're looking to take the JLPT, I would recommend having a list of grammar points that you would need to know for the level that you're planning on sitting for because there's no guarantee of what will or won't pop up on the test.)

Another important thing while you're practicing: be comfortable with making mistakes. We all make them, but when you're learning a new language it's important to be ready to make mistakes and to welcome them with open arms because it gives you a chance to experience and learn in real time.

ALSO: for you specifically--because you're interested in reading, you might enjoy learning grammar through tracking the different grammar points through what you're reading and using the sentences as your examples because they're all going to be cohesive. And if reading books or other things totally turn you off right now, maybe games? Animal Crossing and Pokemon are very nice games to play in Japanese for people that are just starting out! You may also enjoy using Lingo Legend--it's an JRPG language learning app that I beta tested and I think that it's a nice way to review (it has some fun incentives). I'm not a big gamer, so I struggle with learning through games, but I've been picking up a lot of grammar through reading because I focus on finding things that I'm interested in, rather than things that are "at my level." When I start a manga, I will scour a ton of websites and forums and bug a ton of people when I come across a grammar point that I can't wrap my brain around because I want to be able to understand what's going on.

We have book clubs and gamers in my discord server, as well as places for people to post what they're practicing or to ask for help. We have people of all varying levels and different skillsets that love to share their wisdom with others.

I haven't used Bunpro, but I know that @sammilearns has, so she may be able to weigh in on that! And @tokidokitokyo @nihongoseito @chouhatsumimi @kanpeki-bekki @burgeoning-ambition probably also have even more tips that me--I'm trying to tag people that I know we all learn in different ways, so their tips and tricks might be just what you need!

Please weigh in, fellow langblr members! How have you been learning grammar? Are you game-ifying it? Have you turned it into math equations? Have you managed to tie it in with your special interest? I can't wait to see what people add to this post!

[babyangelsky]

Two Worlds: Novel vs. Series (Part 1)

A few days ago, I mentioned that I had begun reading the novel for Two Worlds because I was curious about the changes that had been made for the adaption. Truthfully, I've been curious about it since the special and enough people liked my post to encourage me to put this together, so here we are!

Few things. Firstly, the official English translation of the novel is only updated through chapter 7 which equates to about episode 3 of the series. Approximately.

Secondly, good god is it convoluted so to make things easier on myself and on you, I'm going to break down the changes to each world in two separate posts and not jump around which is what the novel does.

Thirdly, if you'd like to read the novel yourself, the first seven chapters are available for free here! It's the official translation and updates are a bit irregular but it is being updated! Trigger warning for discussion and sometimes graphic mentions of suicide. Please proceed with caution.

I also have to thank @thainovels for being so lovely every time I've asked them for help. What are the odds the novel updated the day after I asked you for help finding a complete version?!

This is gonna be LONG so to spare your dash and anyone who doesn't wanna be spoiled, I'll begin under the cut.

World 1, aka our starting world in the series

Okay so, broad strokes. One of the biggest differences between novel and show so far is how much time we spend in Phupha's perspective and indeed, in perspectives other than Phupha's or Kram's. We really only get Kram's perspective in the chapters dedicated to World 1 and he's barely appeared in the chapters dedicated to World 2 so far.

This author also really loves to go on a tangent which kinda bugs me in a "I'm a writer too and I wouldn't do things this way dammit" sort of way and while that's my own cross to bear, objectively it does pull focus from the main plot and make the story more confusing than it has to be. Although I do appreciate the insight into the other characters.

How Things Start Off

Unlike the show which opens with Kram painting by the river, the novel opens with Kram trying to make friends with Phupha. At this point it's unclear how long Phupha has been staying at Kram's house but it doesn't seem like it's been very long.

In the show, Kram is the grumpy one who doesn't wanna talk or hang out and Phupha is the more open one, but it's flipped in the novel. Kram is a lonely lil ball of sunshine and he's excited to make a new friend and Phupha's generally very grumpy about his circumstances.

Kram also calls him "your grace" which I suspect is what the translator chose to use in place of "khun chai" since Kram also calls him that in the show a few times. I really wish the show had kept this detail because unlike in the show, Kram uses khun chai playfully and eventually affectionately. It's also worth noting that he doesn't call Phupha "phi" despite their age difference because he doesn't want to create distance between them.

Their first bonding experience is going for a walk just like in the show rather than walk aimlessly in the forest, Kram takes him to see the waterfall that is so central to our story. The locals refer to it as Moonshadow Cave.

We learn that Phupha is afraid of heights (and very traumatized) because of the circumstances surrounding his mother's suicide. He opens up to Kram about it and also tells him why his father sent him to stay with Kram and his father.

At one point, Kram steps onto a little ledge around the back of the waterfall and gently coaxes Phupha to join him so they can see the view. But remember, Phupha is afraid of heights and traumatized so after a few moments he panics and goes to turn back. But he turns back a little too quickly and stumbles and ends up face to face and very close to Kram.

SO THEY KISS ABOUT IT. Maybe it's adrenaline, maybe it's horniness, who knows! Certainly not Phupha!

It's getting late so they come down from the mountain to go home. Kram's head is spinning from the kiss, he's confused, he can still taste Phupha. Phupha's confused too, he doesn't know why the hell he kissed Kram, and just as he's in the middle of telling Kram that it was just the adrenaline and didn't mean anything, they hear something rustling in the tall grass.

The Tiger Incident

Yep. The thing they hear is a tiger smack in the middle of having a deer for dinner. Here is the first of two or three major plot points (so far) that were cut from the adaptation entirely.

They come across the tiger and even though they try to move as quietly and slowly as they can to get away, they don't get very far before the tiger notices them and starts chasing them down. As they're running, Kram falls and hurts his leg. Kram knows of a small cave where they can hide, and They manage to duck into it just in time. Fortunately the entrance is too small for the tiger to follow them in there so they're safe but homeboy is still waiting outside to eat them, so they're forced to stay there until morning or until he gets bored and leaves.

Kram and Phupha snuggle together for warmth because of course they do and in the middle of the night, Phupha realizes that Kram has a fever.

The next morning, Phupha sees that Kram hasn't gotten any better so he decides to go and get help for him. Luckily the tiger is gone, so he leaves the cave and marks himself a path so he can find his way back. When he exits the forest, he sees Kram's dad and a group of villagers talking amongst themselves. They'd been looking for the two of them since they hadn't returned from their walk and are very relieved to see Phupha.

Phupha tells everyone what happened and they go back for Kram, and this is where things get very weird. He notices that the branches he broke to mark his path aren't broken anymore and when he and the villagers arrive at the cave, the weeds that were covering the cave entrance are thicker than they were before. And Kram?

Kram is fucking gone.

He is straight up gone. He is not in the cave where Phupha left him despite being sick and unable to move because of his injured leg. Phupha obviously begins questioning his sanity as a search gets underway.

Fifty people including police search the forest for two entire days to absolutely zero avail. Kram is nowhere to be found. It's like the forest swallowed him whole and Phupha is feeling so guilty and Kram's dad is being so kind and not blaming him at all and it's all very fraught.

The search is paused on the third day because of heavy rain but that's not about to stop Phupha. He needs to find Kram and he's in the forest desperately wracking his mind for every last detail of the path he took from the cave and the surroundings while rain is pouring down on him. He thinks he might've found the right spot and sees a cave, but passes out before he can reach it.

When he wakes up, he's back at Kram's house being tended to by Duandow, Kram's childhood friend (we'll get to her in a bit). First thing he does is ask about Kram and miracle of miracles, KRAM HAS BEEN FOUND AND IS OKAY! His leg wasn't broken and he's in rough shape after not having any food or water for a couple days but he's expected to make a full recovery.

Duandow tells him that the cave Kram was found in--the one Phupha passed out in front of--was in an area that had already been searched by the police and that the locals believe that dark magic blocked the entrance to it, which is why they hadn't been able to find Kram before.

If that sounds really goddamn weird to you, THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS. Something fucky is going on with this forest but there are absolutely no answers I can give you as to the why and the how. The novel hasn't given us anything yet.

Phupha and Kram

Another huge difference between the show and the novel is just how much the relationship between Phupha and Kram progresses and how physical it actually is. In the show we only get a few kisses and some snuggling but they go a lot further in the novel.

A lot further.

After the tiger and the fucky forest trauma bond them, they're hanging out on the mountain near Kram's house one evening and as they get to talking and open up to each other some more, they're interrupted by a swarm of fireflies. Kram tries to catch one for Phupha but can't quite manage it, and somehow they end up very close together again.

SO THEY KISS ABOUT IT. AGAIN.

Not only do they kiss about it, clothes start coming off and things start getting hot and heavy before Kram's dad calls up and interrupts them. He doesn't actually see anything (since they're horizontal and shielded by the brush) but he does notice the state they're in when they come down.

Which leads me nicely to the painting.

The Nude Portrait

Remember the nude portrait Kram did of Phupha? In the show, it comes about after Kram accidentally paints Scarface Tai. Phupha sees the painting and realizes how skilled Kram is and hires Kram to paint him.

In the novel, Kram shows Phupha a spare room where he stores all his works and as they're looking through them, Phupha comes across a nude portrait Kram had done of DUANDAOW. KRAM'S CHILDHOOD FRIEND.

Kram tells him that she had agreed to pose for him one day so he could practice painting figures, as all artists do, and Phupha gets all quiet and grumpy and jealous about it. So what does he do? Hire Kram to paint a nude portrait for him like the one Kram had done for Duandaow.

If you'll recall, this is pretty much what happens in the show when Tai asks Kram do paint a nude portrait of him. He gets jealous because Kram had done one of Phupha and asks for one just like it. It seems like the writers reworked that bit since they also wrote out that Kram had done a portait of Duandaow.

And that's not all they reworked.

The painting session with Phupha in the novel begins the same as it does in the show. Kram is doing his thing while Phupha looks all pretty with his cloth in the river. But just like the nude painting scene with Tai, Kram starts getting distracted because of how good Phupha looks.

And I just have to say, the author always makes a point to describe how beautiful Phupha is, but I especially appreciate them taking the time to tell us that Phupha has lovely ample breasts and pretty nipples. Especially because wiping sweat off those lovely ample breasts is what brings Kram so very close to Phupha for the third time. Except this time, they don't just kiss about it.

THEY FUCK ABOUT IT. RIGHT BY THE RIVER. AND THEN GO RIGHT BACK TO THE PAINTING SESSION WHEN THEY'RE DONE.

In the show, this painting scene is where we get their first kiss but as you have seen, beloved reader, we are several kisses in by this point in the novel

Dilok

It's after this that we cut to Kram's dad's perspective for a bit, and I only mention this because it's so goddamn funny and also serves to highlight a few of important points.

The man is just so endearingly oblivious. He saw how disheveled Kram and Phupha were when they came down from the mountain as I mentioned above and assumes they fought each other after having an argument. This man interpreted two horizontal silhouettes moving together as a FIST FIGHT. He assumes they're angry at each other when they won't even look at each other.

THIS MAN THINKS KRAM AND PHUPHA ARE FIGHTING TO THE DEATH EVERY TIME THEY GO UP TO THE MOUNTAIN AND COME BACK LOOKING SWEATY AND FLUSHED AND RUMPLED AND IF THAT'S NOT THE FUNNIEST THING GODDAMN THING I'VE EVER READ I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

In one instance, Dilok catches Phupha leaving Kram's bedroom early in the morning and believes Phupha when he tells him he "fell asleep" after he and Kram "talked" all night. Dilok even thinks to himself how proud he is that they're so mature and communicate so well! I love Dilok so much, you don't understand.

That aside, however, his hilarious misinterpretation tells us that unlike in the show, Kram and Phupha are fucking on the reg. And bear in mind that Kram still technically has an ash exchange ceremony coming up with Duandaow but before I get into everything with her, I wanted to share this passage where Dilok happens upon both her and Phupha's portraits because it says something important about Kram's relationship with Duandaow. Also because I love it.

Duandaow

Duandaow's presence is yet another major difference between the novel and the show.

The show doesn't tell us a whole lot about her. We know only that she has an ash exchange ceremony coming up with Kram and that when she realizes that Kram has feelings for Phupha, she takes herself out of the equation so they can be together.

The novel gives us so much more. She's featured prominently when Kram disappears in the forest, she cares for Phupha when he passes out, she appears every time Phupha goes to her grandmother's store to get medicine for Kram, and of course there's the fact that Kram painted her.

She has been in love with Kram her whole life. In addition to getting her history, we learn that they've known each other since childhood and that they were very close since they were the only two children in the village that were the same age. And it's partially because there's no one else for either them that being with Kram is a foregone conclusion to her and it's why she assumes that's the case for him as well.

She confesses to Kram and he responds with something along the lines of "Who would I love if not you? It's just us here." It's not an "I love you, too" but she takes it that way. Kram literally has no one else so his response may seem sweet but to me, it reads as him accepting on some level that there's no other option and settling.

I do think he cares deeply for Duandaow but I don't think he's in love with her. Several things drive this home for me (including that passage above) but the one that stands out the most is actually when they lose their virginity to each other.

It happens one day after they go swimming together (at the infamous waterfall I might add). She makes the first move and he hesitates at first but he gets swept up in the moment and it's all very shy and sweet. Thing is, after it happens, Kram keeps things strictly friendly between them. So much so that she thinks the whole thing got wiped from his memory.

And this sense of "who else if not you" persists pretty much their whole lives up until this point. They have an ash exchange ceremony coming up because why wouldn't they? There's no other option. Oh, the comphet of it all.

She isn't stepping aside for Phupha because she doesn't realize there's something between him and Kram. She notices something there that makes her suspicious but those suspicions are nebulous at best. It never occurs to her that they could have any relationship beyond friendship because why would they?

The Other Love Triangle

Phupha has had silent, one-sided beef with Duandaow ever since he saw that painting of her. He's polite to her but just barely, he doesn't make any effort at friendliness or real conversation. He's jealous and he has good reason to be, because he and Kram haven't declared any feelings for each other or had the "what are we" conversation.

Not only that, there is an ash exchange ceremony coming up. Phupha has no idea what that ceremony is until he asks Kram's dad one day and Dilok tells him IT'S A MARRIAGE CEREMONY. Show!Kram had some nerve getting pissy at Phupha for having a fiancee he didn't tell Kram about when Kram had one too!

Here Phupha is, so very in love and in a very physical relationship with Kram, and then he learns Kram is about to get married to someone else. He doesn't know whether Kram returns his feelings, he doesn't know where he stands, there's been no hint of calling off the wedding, so what does he do?

He takes himself out of the equation just like Duandaow does in the show.

Phupha chooses not to confess his feelings to Kram, he spends one last night snuggling him, and then he takes the L and quietly goes back to his life in Rattha.

Oh, what's that you say? You wanted some salt in that wound? How about the fact that KRAM GOES THROUGH WITH THE CEREMONY AND MARRIES DUANDAOW?

More? HE ONLY REALIZES HIS FEELINGS FOR PHUPHA AFTER HE'S ALREADY GONE AND ONLY MARRIES DUANDAOW OUT OF OBLIGATION AND BECAUSE PHUPHA IS NO LONGER THERE.

It's a MESS and there is no resolution for it because the novel translation isn't done!

*screams*

Tai

You might have noticed that I haven't really talked about Tai and that's because he only shows up once in these few chapters we have so far. The ones that take place in World 1, that is. But boy howdy does he come in with a bang when he does. Literally.

When Phupha hires Kram to paint him, Kram asks him to take him into the city as payment. There's an arts festival happening and Kram wanted to go so he could show off his dad's paintings.

Everything is going lovely, everyone is having a good time. At least until Duandaow shows up and Phupha turns into a salty salmon about it but we already talked about her.

The brand new chief of police has been asked to make a speech to inaugurate the festival and a short while after he gets on stage to make it, there is a bang. It's followed by screams and a second bang.

Tai showed up at the festival, shot an officer in the gut, and then killed the chief in cold blood to get revenge for the chief recently killing his father.

Bedlam ensues. People are screaming and terrified and fleeing the scene and Tai is looking to flee the scene too, but it just so happens that Kram is blocking his escape route. Tai shouts for him to move but something comes over Kram and he's not budging. Doesn't matter how much Tai threatens him or how much Phupha pleads with him, Tai belongs to the gang that killed his mother and he ain't moving.

My boy doesn't move even when Tai points a gun in his face. That's how much he hates this man and everything he represents. And Tai fully intends to kill him, but there's a moment where he locks eyes with Kram and something shifts within him.

There's a shot, but because we switch to Duandaow's perspective in that moment, we don't know exactly what happens. We know only that the shot missed and that Phupha rushed to hug Kram to his body and shield him from the shot.

Kram was in point blank range. There was no way in hell that shot missed unless that's what Tai intended. But that's all we've gotten of Tai in World 1 so far so there hasn't been a chance to dig into anything more.

The Stabbing of Viroj

There's one more thing I wanna mention, which also happens to be the stopping point for the translation at this time.

In the show, in World 1, Phupha's biological father Viroj gets attacked after Phupha and Kram go talk to him about the incident in the gallery with Tai and the conversation Phupha had with his father.

In the novel, that conversation with Adisak and Phupha's aunt and stepmother takes place right after Phupha goes back to Rattha and for the subsequent conversation with Viroj, Phupha is obviously alone.

The circumstances that precede the stabbing at a little different but that's a whole other tangent so I'm not gonna get into it. The rest of it is largely the same as in the show.

Someone breaks in, stabs Viroj, Phupha hears a scream and comes upon the scene, he has the realization about his hemophilia, he calls an ambulance and the police.

Only a few details are different. In the novel, he does actually manage to call for help but help never comes so he decides to take Viroj to the hospital himself. Unfortunately Viroj dies before Phupha can take him.

After his death, Phupha calls his dad Adisak to tell him that someone killed Viroj and to ask him to call for help. Adisak does, and when Phupha gets a call from the paramedics asking for more information, the paramedic asks where the patient was stabbed.

Problem is, Phupha never told Adisak that Viroj had been stabbed. Phupha immediately suspects that Adisak knows more about the attack than he let on and was possibly even behind it.

This is as far as the translation has taken us so I have to stop here. Sometime before the finale I'm gonna write up part two to this absolute saga, which will be the differences between World 2 in the novel and show.

If you've read this far, thank you. You're lovely and I love you. ❤️

[tumblydovereviews]

Hamilton: Why it Worked

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your king, George III. Welcome, to Hamilton."

I've been in a Hamiton funk lately. In fact, while writing this post I was actually watching the Disney+ recording of the musical!

It's not just because today is the Fourth of July and Alexander Hamilton ultimately played a major role in helping America become what it is today. It's not just because Moana 2 is dropping in a couple of months, which Lin Manuel-Miranda won't be a part of, and I'm coping by listening to his music and work. I've always been a Hamilton fan, and while I haven't had the time nor the money to actually go out and see it myself, I have enjoyed it via listening to the soundtrack, reading the giant book I have on it, and generally appreciating the work itself.

A concept like Hamilton was fairly unique at the time of it coming out- after all, who has ever heard of an idea as abnormal as a sung-and-rapped musical about one of the Founding Fathers? In a way, though, Alexander Hamilton himself held many characteristics of a perfect protagonist for a show with this concept; he was restless, impulsive, and always moving, just as the show is paced to be. Lin Manuel-Miranda got the idea for the entire musical by reading a Hamilton biography. He was inspired by Hamilton's personality and compared it to that of a rapper; namely, Tupac Shakur, joining the past and the present together to form a new creation.

Any great musical would need to be propelled by music totally, and Hamilton is no exception; in fact, the musical holds a unique advantage over other generic shows- as mentioned before, it's a sung-and-rapped through musical. The majority, if not all, of the show is sung-through. Not only does this allow for a unique point-of-view inside of the personal issues of the characters, but it also allows the musical to be highly accessible. As I mentioned before, I haven't actually watched Hamilton in-person; my main way of consuming Hamilton media is by 'watching' the musical via its array of songs. Unlike other musicals, I didn't need to worry about gaps in the narrative not being able to be sealed by dialogue or body language.

And, speaking of the songs, they're great as well! In a variety of genres, such as rap, jazz, and pop, there's a Hamilton song for everyone, really. Lin, Leslie, Renee, and the rest of the class are amazing singers, and the orchestra and sound department also aids in elevating the play's most dramatic moments. Some are my personal favorites are the opening song, Alexander Hamilton, What'd I Miss, You'll be Back, and The Schuyler Sisters.

But, perhaps the main factor in the wide appeal of Hamilton was how well the writing and casting managed to humanize people that seemed so far away from our time, people who we'd usually think as being foreign to our modern-day issues. The cast of Hamilton are diverse in race, ranging from Hispanic to Black to Asian, and are given personalities that can relate to what people nowadays are like. Hamilton is ambitious and prideful, while Burr is more introverted but vengeful to a fault. Instead of random historical names, the two men, and all of the other characters in the play, become real. There's a reason that people of all ages, from young teenagers to fully-grown adults, have all managed to grow captivated by these characters. They are human. They are us. Hamilton is us.

And, ultimately, this is why Hamilton has become such a big success, in my opinion. Hamilton works because it doesn't just act as a play; instead, think of it as a river, using music, characters, and comedy to connect two oceans together- the past and the present. What started off as a random idea that was scorned down upon by others has ultimately become a global phenomenon, and with the feats mentioned above, it's no wonder that Hamilton managed to become such a success both on and off Broadway. To this day, the play still sells out tickets regularly, and is viewed, listened, and acted to by millions all around not just the USA, but the entire globe.

So, this fourth of July, you don't need to bolt out the national anthem while wearing red, white, and blue and bursting out oodles of fireworks everywhere you go. Instead, if you have the ability to, I'd highly recommend watching or listening to the soundtrack of Hamilton. Because, no matter the holiday or the country you lie in, there's something for everyone in this musical.

[khywren]

For your blossoms of appreciation post!!! I'm not sure I'm doing it right, but I'll never pass up on an opportunity to shower you with love 🩷

🌷- I adore and admire how you write; it's like poetry! Every word has a purpose and every syllable makes you feel what the characters are feeling. You have such an amazing way with words that guarantees that every time I sit down to read something of yours, I know it will be beautiful 🩷

🌹- The fics that have stood out to me the most are Mist and Shadow and Frost & Flame! M&S is honestly one of the best pieces I've ever seen and read when it comes to characterization of Astarion as well as conveying emotion- melts my god damn bones. These lines will forever haunt me:

And Astarion is furious. At the tieflings, for being too weak to carry their own weight. At Ysera, for letting them use her without a second thought. And at himself, for being no better than any of them.

For F&F I just can't get over how, even post game and sincerely in love, you've managed to keep Astarion as himself- i can hear his dialogue in his tone, even his thoughts resonate. And this section says it all- they really deserve this after everything they've been through 🩷

For the first time in a long time, Astarion feels like a stranger in his own body again. Like he's watching someone else's happy ending play out before his eyes, and only when Ysera pulls away and cups his face between her palms does the touch of her hands confirm that this is real – that she is here; warm, alive, and most importantly, his. And nothing can take that away from him anymore.

🪻- Now what's your fave?? 💜

🌻- I wanna ask about what you have planned next!! I love your writing and I'm excited for whatever ideas you've got tucked away in your brain 😊

💐- You're an incredible person, creator, friend, and presence in my life, and I know there are so many people who feel the same way I do 🫂 I will always cherish our friendship and value it till the day I die 🩷 Thank you for coming into my life! For when you did, and for sticking around with this chaotic mess of a person (me). Ily Khy!!! 💗

are you trying to make me cry? because this is how you make me cry. 🥺

ali!!! you are so kind and thoughtful and i don't know what i did to deserve such an amazing, talented, wonderful friend, but i am so glad we met and bonded over this eccentric little vampire man. thank you so much for supporting my silly little stories and inspiring me with your kind words and the beautiful things you write! i adore you!

i am SO glad you loved mist and shadow! i swear that writing most of that was like a fever dream. i had so many ideas in my head that i wanted to touch on, and i was so concerned about not being able to live up to them the way i saw them in my mind. i still think it's the best thing i've ever written, and i am enormously proud of it. the stars really aligned for me on that one, where the things i wrote and the way i wrote them turned out almost exactly how i wanted them to.

the passage you quoted is still one of my favorites, and it was a real turning point in the direction the entire fic took when it was in its early stages. up until then most of the things i had written (both with and without ysera) were about the softer side of astarion, because soft astarion is my kryptonite. but i love the idea of him battling with himself about the things he's feeling about his partner as we get deeper into act 2 and he realizes that, oh fuck, he's got feelings for this loser and now he's in too deep. at the end of the day, he's still a messy bitch, and i loved getting to explore that more.

my favorite part of that fic is probably this part of the main scene from the second chapter:

His rage is a volatile thing, barely leashed behind the fangs he presses into her throat. A soft whimper escapes Ysera's lips, and she clutches at his shirt. Somewhere on the periphery of his mind, he realizes he's hurting her, but the rush of blood that pours into his mouth as he punctures her neck without warning washes the thought away on a current of red. Her pulse pounds in his ears, and with every swallow he can feel his own strength returning. He had been purposely avoiding her before, vexed by his concern for her wellbeing, but it all seems so pointless now. Why shouldn't he take as much as he wants – as much as he needs? He'd be stupid not to when she's offering herself so willingly. Sooner or later she'll tire of him, and what will he have then? Nothing but his pride and an empty stomach.  Her kind words hadn't saved him when he needed them most. They're nothing more than a distraction now, and a luxury he cannot afford to indulge if he wants to maintain his freedom. ... His stomach tightens. All this time, he'd fooled himself into believing he was the one in control. But no matter what he does, he can't escape the one simple truth that he is weak. The only question now is who gets to hold his leash: Cazador or Ysera?

i think that really encapsulates the overall tone/theme i was going for with this fic!

i'm also so grateful to hear that about frost & flame! 🥺 it was my first time writing something that saccharine, and i'm glad to hear that i was still able to stay true to our beloved boy despite him being extra soft here. the whole idea for that fic started with me thinking about how silly it would be for astarion to be catching snowflakes on his tongue on the bus home from work, and the rest of the fic came together around whatever scenario would put him in that situation. i'm still super happy with that one, too!

as for what i have next, i've been in a bit of a slump lately because work's been taking most of my energy and free time, but i do have three active WIPs (active as in i've started writing them) in the works right now, and at least 4 other that are a little less concrete but are still ideas i like enough to move forward with. most of those are more kinktober prompts, but one is the toxic bloodweave thing i've been thinking about for a few weeks now. that one is very much a "they can make each other so much worse" kind of a fic and i hope i can pull it off~

as for adrift, all the pieces for most of act 3 finally fell into place, so i've been jotting down a lot of notes and things for that, and i need to get there yesterday because i'm really proud of what i've pulled together. i haven't written much these past few weeks, but i can leave you with the last line i wrote as a bit of a teaser~

"What appeared before me was no god, but an angel wearing a devil's face. In exchange for so little, he offered me everything."

[sirenjose]

So I've been really into your analysis lately and I'm a huge fan now, wanted to ask some questions, feel free to not answer any

1- what was your favourite idv story/event to analyze?

2- your least fav of the latter?

3- are you into anything else besides idv?

4-how do you find the motivation to analyze stuff? I've tried before and it was very draining :')

Thanks for your time, hope you have a lovely day

I'm very happy to hear you're enjoying yourself despite my own low opinion about much of what I put out. I'll do my best to answer!

Hmm I always dislike picking favorites because I'm bad at picking eheh... But the ones I liked most... I honestly enjoy T&I and COA (1-5) even more than the main story. So I think I might pick... Atropos' Ropes for T&I and for COA, thats harder... 3-5 are my faves but I might pick 4 just because of how it felt it had the most story/details given than all the rest. Even the *SONG* had story. I loved it.

Least fave, eh... Orfeo and Zinaida immediately come to mind, though Orfeo I'd say was worse... COA 1 is another primarily because of how DIFFICULT it was for me to figure it out enough to put together an analysis. And I had to rewrite that thing at LEAST 3 times to the point I'm just hoping it's good enough and leaving it alone. Time of Reunion I think is another that comes to mind, mainly because I didn't appreciate how they treated Norton in there, especially in the videos (but at least those aren't canon like the in-game event was). So based on all that, I might say Orfeo if I really had to pick 1. Then rank ToR 2nd and Zinaida/COA1 3rd.

FF14 and Honkai Star Rail especially I'm playing actively these days, but I honestly like a lot of stuff. Like Persona (espeially 4), 999 aka Zero Escape, and Star Ocean Til the End of Time. Least in terms of games.

Hmm... Maybe because the 1st reason I play a game is because of the story, and gameplay is always 2nd to me. If the story and characters are good, that gets me interested. Issue with IDV is we only get bits and pieces. Really need to look deeper to really understand some of the characters. I actually only started analyzing because I challenged myself (partially out of curiosity for the answer) to see if I could prove if Norton wasn't as evil as people thought (based on all the comments I saw when I 1st joined the fandom a long while ago). From there, there was Jose who I wanted to analyze because he honestly had so many plot holes I couldn't (and still can't completely) solve. So I get the most enjoyment analyzing something that doesn't have a clear answer. Which is why I don't always post for every letter. A big part of it is I enjoy history and culture and such, so it's fun for me to learn about different foods, or time periods, or how bad the environment was for miners or sailors back in the day, etc... I dont think I have an easy answer (I can see I'm rambling). Norton I actually only began to like because I was spending so long working on my 1st analysis for him (and my perfectionism made me analyze all of Norton's essences before i could call it finished). Jose was because I love Captain Hook, and then after because of the plot holes that bothered me. Then for others, I think I enjoy making analyses to... try to sometimes change people's opinoions/beliefs. Like with Margaretha or Vera. With Edgar was because I was more interested in his story and him as a character only once I put together all his lore. Sort of goes on from there. I could ramble on but I'm going to get even more guilty. I hope this helps somewhat, but let me know if it doesn't and I'll keep going. Maybe the simple is A) I like history/culture/research, B) I like to convince people that certain characters arent as evil as they think or change beliefs I think aren't quite accurate, C) I like solving puzzles and I love story, D) I already think too hard about literally everything, and combined with my perfectionism, we get analysis