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rainbowsky · 2 days ago

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In all my years of being a GGDD fan, I don't think any year has ever been better than this last one.

In the past I have watched them struggle and face incredibly difficult situations, be forced to spend almost all of their time apart, and deal with scandals and setbacks.

2024 was a year I could never have dreamed of for both of them. Watching them both thrive so well, take charge of their careers and their lives to a degree never before seen, and to have so much time for their personal lives - it's all I've ever wanted for them.

And you can see how well they are thriving, how much happier they are, how much healthier they are, and how much of themselves is stamped on every single thing they do.

I frequently see fans spinning negative fantasies about them, and it makes me sad. As if there isn't enough pain in the world, why generate more in your own mind?

A lot of turtles tend to overly romanticize 2018 and 2019 because they were the years that The Untamed was filmed, promoted and aired, and that's where a lot of our favorite GGDD content was born. I think that's rather self-centered and shortsighted. If we take five seconds to remove our rose-colored glasses, surely we can see how difficult those years were for them.

Yes, they got to work together for a few months, they got to spend some fun time together promoting The Untamed and even got to be somewhat open about their affection for each other in front of a crowd, but outside of that summer dream, they were both in pretty precarious positions in their careers, and both of them faced a lot of really gruesome anti attacks. Neither of them had very much control over their careers or their choices, and their management situations were atrocious.

We don't even have to talk about 2020. That was an incredibly difficult year. GG was the focus of one of the worst cyberbullying and nearly career-ending scandals that's been seen in that industry. He was being threatened, the people connected to him and the brands that he dealt with were being threatened.

Any time he tried to do anything in his career, whether it was an appearance or an endorsement, antis would come out in droves and protest until it was shut down. There were active organized hate campaigns whose entire purpose was to destroy his life and his career. People were trying to infect him with COVID, and there were other threats upon his life. Multiple times online hate campaigns tried to spread the rumor that he had died.

He couldn't go anywhere without people following him and chanting hateful slogans at him and trying to infiltrate the hotels he was staying at. It was terrifying.

DD was constantly overworked, exhausted, always on the move with barely any time to come up for air.

They had to spend most of their time apart, including some of the quarantine time, when DD was isolated so that he could begin filming LOF, right when the worst of the scandal broke. GG's grandfather died, and he faced so many personal burdens.

They did get some fun times together of course, and there were some huge successes for both of them, including GG's spectacular comeback at the end of the year with his sea of red for Tencent All Star Night. Even turtles worked to help ensure he had his red sea.

And GG and DD got to clown around and be silly as well, and they made a real effort to show us that they were getting through fine, they would be okay and that they were still the same people, still able to be happy. We got so much candy that year, and so many great LRLG messages as well.

But that was just a sign of their character and strength. Make no mistake about it, that was a difficult year.

The intervening years between then and now have been a bit of a mixed bag. There were a lot of COVID frustrations (scheduling issues, Kafkaesque hoops to jump through, inability to travel outside the country, risk of ending up in a prolonged lockdown, inevitable health stress), they had to spend a lot of time apart and there were more and more crackdowns on the entertainment industry, on the queer community and on fandom culture, which made things feel positively dismal and oppressive - at times even scary.

However, it's undeniable that things have been gradually improving for them. They've both been building more and more autonomy and control in their careers, and building more respect from audiences and within the industry. They've both been prioritizing their personal lives more and more. And yes - they've BOTH been looking happier, more relaxed, more balanced.

I've talked about that a fair bit over the past couple of years. Most recently in this post.

Looking at 2024, they have had so much more free time in their lives, have been able to spend so much more time together in the same city, have spent time with each other wherever they were filming, and even got to travel and spend some fun downtime outside of China.

They are in such powerful positions compared to even a couple years ago. They have made great connections and worked on some amazing projects.

GG has been working with some of the top directors on some of the most anticipated projects in C-ent. He recorded an entire solo album and several music videos, and did all of that on his own time and on his own dime, and released it to critical acclaim and massive success with audiences.

He has been the talk of the globe in fashion circles and entertainment circles, and has been the face behind some of the most successful and exciting campaigns for some of the most prestigious brands in the world.

He got to travel a lot outside of China, and build on some of the great connections he's made over the years. He got to spend time with his parents traveling Europe!

He's given us so much incredible content with his vlogs and photo sets. It's just mind-boggling how much he's given us over the past couple of years.

DD took initiative to propose and participate in a documentary series where he got to explore interesting locations and engage in some of the most extreme outdoor activities. What could possibly be more exciting for someone like him?

He got to work with a team of conservationists who are fighting to save pangolins, and filmed a documentary there as well. Knowing him, that has to be one of the most rewarding things he's ever done in his life.

Both documentaries were highly acclaimed and award-winning.

Speaking of awards, he debuted as a film star and has been nominated for all of the top awards in China both for his film work and his drama work!

He has signed a new contract with his management company that will certainly have put him in a very powerful position in the company as their top breadwinner. He has been exceptionally successful with endorsements, holding more endorsements than anyone else in C-ent.

He got to play tennis on the top of The Great Wall with one of the top players in the world (regardless of how much I despise Djokovic).

He got to be an Olympic torch bearer! He is the ambassador for multiple high profile organizations and projects.

He earned his auto racing license, joined a racing team and finished in first place in his first ever auto race!

Make no mistake about it, they are both now solidly calling the shots in their own lives and careers, they are living their best lives, and they are both happier than I have ever seen them in all of these years.

And much more healthy! Just take one look at them and you can see how much healthier they both are. They've been playing a lot of sports and doing a lot of active outdoor activities together, and it shows in how much happier and healthier they are.

Frankly anyone who can't see that has their head stuffed firmly in a moist dark place.

I urge everyone to center GG and DD in all of our fandom explorations, theories and interpretations. The reality is that the more that they get to focus on their own lives and careers and personal freedoms, the less candy and CPN we're likely to see. We should be happy for them rather than try to spin sad tales about it.

#bjyx #yizhan #fandom reflections #bxg perspectives #rumors of their misery are greatly exaggerated #i wanted to get this out a lot earlier but my day got sidetracked #king gg #king dd

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esta-elavaris · 2 days ago

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Have to add my own message of hope here. I was suicidal when I was 21 - to the point where I had a plan in place, and was very close to going through with it, but the one thing that kept me around was my brother. He was the one person in my life who I could never convince myself would be better off if I wasn't around. So the "deadline" I gave myself for doing it (there was 'logic' to that deadline but I don't want to share in case I influence anybody who is currently in a bad way) came and went, and I didn't do it. And I cursed myself for being a coward at the time.

I finished uni that year, I moved home, and I decided to give seeking medical help one last shot a couple of months later, after a decade of being ignored by doctors who were all adamant that I was too young to be depressed or anxious, and I just needed "more fresh air". Sitting in the waiting room for that doctor's appointment, I nearly walked out several times, because I felt so shitty and so hopeless and I could not take being brushed off one more time.

The appointment I had, with the doctor I got by chance, saved my life. That doctor saved my life. She took one look at me and put me on antidepressants that day, and scheduled me in for weekly appointments so she could essentially keep an eye on me and give me what therapy she could while I was on the waiting list for actual therapy. Every week, I went there, and every week she listened to me and encouraged me, and tracked my progress with the meds. These appointments went on for years. This woman did save my life. Only after two years of constant appointments and constant check-ins did she allow me to just go to med pick-ups rather than appointments, when she was sure the proper therapy was working and I was doing better.

One day, around that time, I was on the bus home after I met up with friends - I'd just gotten to a place where I was able to actually manage that somewhat frequently without cancelling every time (and my friends were so patient with me in that respect and never abandoned me after all the cancellations, which they would've been in their right to do). I remember looking out the window, seeing how pretty the sunset looked, after a day of shopping and nachos with pals, and realising I was actually happy to be alive. For the first time in years. I no longer wanted to die, and I no longer even just generally didn't want to be alive (which is different from actively wanting to die.)

My mental health isn't perfect now, at 28, but I'm an entirely different person to who I was back then - and I've been through worse things now than I'd been through back then. You do get worse before you get better, progress isn't linear, you don't feel the change even really happening while it does. But one day you will sit back and be so, so grateful for what you previously labelled "cowardice" in not going through with suicide. It will happen. You have good on its way to you that you can't even imagine right now.

One of the weirdest thing about growing up suicidal is that you assume you have no future, you don’t even try to envision it because you see no point. So eventually, you start assuming everyone else sees nothing in your future either. Recently, my friend and I were talking and she said something about how at her wedding I could wear a suit or a dress as long as it matched her bridesmaid’s dresses because the butler of honor has to make a good impression. This hit me so hard because I had never realized before how other people thought about me. She said it so casually like it wasn’t even a hard decision, just a given fact. She loves me so much she saw me at her wedding, standing with her on one of the most important days of her life. And you know what? There are so many people who think about you that way. If that isn’t proof that you should keep going I don’t know what is.

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joejhang · 1 day ago

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my unasked-for input in the jeremy discourse

been seeing a lot of jeremy knox discussion as of late while mindlessly scrolling thru the aftg tag so i've decided it's time to step in. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk.

the main criticism of jeremy i've seen in the fandom is the way he treats/deals with jean's situation. a lot of people think he's just not doing a good job and can be insensitive or thoughtless at times. i'd like to counter this by saying: he's doing his best, and he's actually doing pretty well.

the aftg fandom at large has this superiority issue where they seem to always know the right thing and the right way to go. i'm gonna remind y'all that we are very used to the foxes and andreil, and the trojans are a totally different environment to the one we've been acclimatised to. the foxes are not well-adjusted AT ALL and to an outsider's eye the way they deal with each other is probably really cruel and rude at times. it works for them because they're in similar positions in life and have no time for politeness and courtesy, and the only way for them to work together is to work out all the fights and issues head-on, with little concern for hurt feelings. it works for them, but that doesn't mean it's the best or only way to go for anyone else.

jeremy may have an untold backstory of his own, but i think we can all agree that he's much more well-adjusted than jean, who has been living in an abusive cult environment for years. the trojans and jeremy are completely unfamiliar to jean, but so is jean to jeremy. jeremy has no idea the full extent of jean's past and history of abuse, so you can imagine his shock and horror when he finally begins to realise the ugly details of what happened to him.

there's a lot of emphasis on action and reaction in the way the fandom sees characters and relationships, but not a lot on intention. i think, no matter the mistakes jeremy makes, his intentions are good. he wants to support jean and help him in his healing journey. was it wrong of him to tell cat and laila what happened in jean's freshman year without his permission? yes, of course. but i think people need to consider that jeremy is literally only human. he's a 22 year old boy who has unresolved issues of his own that's just trying to do the best he can with what he has. he shouldn't have talked about jean's past without his consent, but it's important to know that he didn't do it with malicious intent or just to gossip. he probably genuinely thought it was the right way to go to let cat and laila know, so they can help jean better by knowing what happened. it wasn't the right thing to do, but honestly i think people in the fandom are more pressed about it than jean is. jean remarks on it and seems a bit annoyed, both with himself for telling jeremy and jeremy for telling the girls, but he doesn't hold it against jeremy and clearly still trusts him. jean knows that jeremy wants the best for him, and is doing his best, and the fandom should remember that too.

i think a lot of the issues the fandom has w jeremy and also jerejean is that they seem to think jeremy is going to "heal" jean. i cannot explain how much this take boils my blood because people can't "heal" other people. healing is a complicated and long process that requires, yes, help from others, but also changes in perspective, environment and core belief. jeremy alone is not going to fix jean and make him good as new, and that attitude towards them is unhelpful when analysing the narrative. jean's slow journey of healing comes from the combination of: a huge change in environment (the mob mindset of the raven's nest -> the sunshine court), a support network (jeremy, cat, laila, wymack, the trojans, occasionally kevin and neil), a change in mindset (both towards exy as a sport and towards relationships with others and a relationship with himself) and simply time. no one person can heal another, and no matter how large a role jeremy plays in jean's healing, he knows he can't do it on his own. so do the other people around jean. it's why cat takes him on a motorbike ride, just to let him relax and see the world. it's why renee doesn't get jean to stay with her, because she knows how good the trojans will be for him. jeremy is not going to heal jean, but he can definitely help him with it.

the last and arguably most important thing is this: jean trusts jeremy. y'all can talk about how jean is traumatised and unfamiliar with the world outside the nest but i swear to god this fandom babies and uwufies him to unbelievable extents. jean may be unspeakably traumatised and at the end of his rope, but he is an adult, and he does have agency. he understands that jeremy cares about him and his wellbeing, and he trusts jeremy. jeremy isn't perfect. he's inevitably going to make mistakes and do questionable things along the way, but i don't think he's at all impeding jean's healing or growth, and he is doing everything with genuine good intentions. one person's definition of the "right" thing to do is not objective and all-encompassing. jeremy may do things that offend you, and that you would hate, but everyone has a different opinion on these things. do you guys remember the conversation between andreil after dr*ke's attack, when neil pushes andrew just to see him crack? if u think about it on an objective level, it was wrong, even cruel, to press someone about their history of trauma after a horribly traumatic event has just happened to them. but andrew doesn't hold it against neil, and doesn't even seem all that bothered by it. i think the aftg fandom would do well to look at things and events that happen in the books in context and stop thinking that there is only one right answer to every question and only one correct solution in every situation. just because something would be a no-go for you, doesn't mean it would be for everyone, and that goes for fictional characters as much as it goes for real life.

anyway i just find it so interesting how critical and quick to judge people are when it comes to jeremy, when, objectively, the foxes and even andreil have done probably more pressing and objectively "wrong" things to each other. if u read the series back, there are a lot of times when they push and challenge each other's boundaries, but there's an understanding that that is the best way for them to engage with each other. it would do everyone a lot of good to apply the same attitude to the sunshine court, considering how vastly different of a context this new series is in.

#jeremy defender till my dying day #i swear to god people expect every character to be perfect and make no mistakes #he is NOT going to meet every standard he's literally just a person and he's going to make mistakes but he's trying his best #and that makes him a good and realistic character #leave him alone god #aftg #all for the game #the sunshine court #tsc #zoe yaps #jeremy knox #jean moreau #jerejean #the golden raven #tgr #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil

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lagalaxiedemochi · 3 days ago

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Hiiii! Idk if this blog is still active in any way but the jikook timeline is one of the best thing that was ever made . It's so useful and I love it sooooo much. I was wondering if you were still army and still around? I hope you're doing well :). Do you think the jikook timeline could ever be updated?

Hello! :)

Yes, I’m still army and I still support Jikook!

I've been part of the fandom for a while, and even though life gets super busy with work sometimes, I always make time to catch up on their content whenever I can.

Even though Shan and I haven’t posted anything new lately, I’ve been working on the timeline—organizing everything as chronologically as possible and fixing any broken links. I definitely want to create new posts in the future, but first, I’m focused on tidying up all the posts we already have.

Sometimes I do wonder if anyone still checks it out, haha!

It’s still really special to me—I love having this BTS Jikook-focused archive to look through and see their journey and evolution over the years. No matter what someone believes about their relationship, I’m sure anyone who explores it will see just how special it is, and that’s exactly the goal of it.

Here’s a link for the timeline masterpost for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.

#jikook #kookmin #jikook timeline

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isagispuzzle · 17 hours ago

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Hihi, congrats on 200 followers!! I'm a relatively new follower, and im absolutely OBSESSED with your writing (speaking of which, I apologize if I have been spam liking. I try not to but damn I really need your work injected into my brain or something)

Anyways, could I request childhood friends to lovers for your event? I don't know how or why but one day something just clicked in my brain and it's been my favorite troupe for years

thank you so much for your support!! i love it when people spam like my stuff because i just imagine someone sitting down to read what i've written, and it makes me so happy to know my writing is letting someone enjoy a few minutes of their day hehe, i hope you'll enjoy this little piece too!

itoshi rin is bad news. at least, that's what your classmates tell you in the stands of the u-20 match.

even though you've known him since he was barely a metre tall, it's the first time you've seen him like this. rin is darting across the field with crazed eyes and his tongue out, engulfed by a desperation that puts the despair he felt on the night sae came home to shame.

you can't jump to his defence this time, though. ever since you were kids, rin would smash his toys together so hard the plastic crumbled in his hands and tell you how and when he wants to die, although kids that age have barely started to think about living. so you keep your mouth shut but your heart hopeful, because despite his destructive tendencies, rin is still your friend, and deep in his eyes, you still see his seven year old self.

it's hard not to blame sae for this. you know how much rin respected his brother when they were younger, but you also know how their relationship soured, at least on rin's side of the story. you tamp down the resentment. no matter how much blame you want to throw around, it doesn't change that what rin needs is reprieve.

days later when rin hugs you at the dock, he thanks you. it's rare for a sixteen year old boy to speak so vulnerably, what's more if said teenage boy is itoshi rin, so you listen silently, lest the moment breaks.

rin doesn't elaborate further, but he hopes his heart gets through to you. he hopes you know how grateful he is for your tenderness, even when he's anything but. he hopes you continue to welcome him into your arms and trace featherlight circles on his back, and hopes you continue to come to his matches and never look away no matter what ugly side of him comes out on the field. he hopes you know how terrified he is right now, placing his heart in your palms and his neck to your blade.

it's only when rin feels your fingers in his hair that he realises he's mistaken. you've never held a knife to his pulse. instead, you give him your toys when he breaks his, you bring your friends to amplify your cheers for him in the crowd, and you're the one with your heart in his cold, calloused hands.

you've always been the salvation to his destruction, and unlike everything else he's ever laid his hands on, rin swears to never break your heart.

#isagispuzzle hits 200 followers!#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk #bllk x reader #itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #rin x reader #emma is thinking...

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tuttle-did-it · 7 hours ago

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If you see the tags, I've seen Father Brown and it's... fine. It's fine. I don't think it's a very good show. And whilst I have nothing against Mark Williams or anyone else in the rest of the cast, no one on that show makes me want to watch any more. I don't care about any of the characters or the world they live in. Father Dowling was a more entertaining show in comparison for me. And generally speaking, cosy mystery shows are not the best tv in the world. It's an engaging lead that you need to pull it off. The rest is window-dressing. If the lead is delightful to watch, and the show even half-way written and directed, you'll have a fun murder mystery show. I have yet to find that here in UK. And forgive me, I just don't think Mark Williams is engaging and fun to watch. So it makes the whole show not enjoyable for me.

I don' felt the same way about Sister Boniface. It's fine. I just done care of I ever e another episode. I stopped enjoying Death In Paradise when Ben Miller left, honestly. I have seen eps every time they do a cast change to see if i enjoy it again. I do not. And the cast is far too young on DiP for what I'm looking for. I want an older detective who potters around the way Fletcher, older Perry or Ben Matlock did. With older guest stars. DiP had a few great older guest stars-- Peter Davison comes to mind as one. But I don't enjoy DiP as a show because I don't enjoy the main characters. I did when Ben was there. He it's not there, now. I try every time they soft-boot with new characters. I haven't found any others I like.

Harry Wild is probably the closest show in UK/IRE that I've seen that fits the bill. Jane Seymour is older, she is engaging, she is fun to watch. I wish her surrounding cast were a bit older as well, but she's fine. It's the closest I've found, here.

Also, as much as I love a lot of UK/IRE tv, my favourite character actors have, by and large, been American. Maybe it's because I primarily watched movies from 20s-50s-- especially in my formative years-- and US-based tv from 1950-1980. So the majority of my favourite character actors were getting older and appearing in these 80s/90s US cosy mystery movies/shows because they had worked with the main lead of the cosy mystery show (who was older).

Hell-- Dame Diana Rigg had her own cosy mystery show for a couple of years. It was fun. It was UK-based. So it can happen. I just haven't seen it happen in many years.

Also, I know ACD and Agatha Christie established the cosy mystery style, but the cast majority of tv shows I have enjoyed of this genre are American. Although I have a LOT to criticise America for (trust me, neither of is have the time or energy for how much I can criticise America for) they took the cosy mystery genre and perfected it-- those of the 80s/90s in particular were a lot of fun. There are a lot majority of UK-based things I prefer far more over US imports. But I have yet to see a UK-based murder mystery show that is as fun to watch as Murder, She Wrote, Matlock, Perry Mason and Columbo. All of our (UK/IRE) best actors had moved to the US in the 70s/ish, anyway. So I still got to see Patty McGoohan on cosy mysteries-- but it was Columbo. Patty Macnee was guest starring on Murder she Wrote several times. He wasn't working here in the UK. By and large, I think the US has done better with this genre -- especially when it comes to dotty older people-- than Britain. Which is hilarious to me on many levels.

(No, I am not talking about all the dozens of MSW/Columbo rip offs such as the Hallmark murder mysteries like Murder, She Baked. Are they cosy murder mysteries with aging guest stars? Sure. Are they remotely watchable? No. Not At all. Unless you are very drunk and making fun of the show instead of watching it to enjoy it.)

I have seen Father Brown. It's not enjoyable to me compared to Father Dowling-- and certainly not in comparison to the giant shoes left by Columbo, Ben Matlock and Jessica Fletcher to fill.

I know Matlock is being rebooted with Kathy Bates. I love Bates. She is delightful. But I'm tired of reboots. Give her any other fucking name. Kathy Bates deserves her own show without being forced to compete with Andy Griffith's shadow.

Same goes for Jamie Lee Curtis. She is rumoured to be doing a reboot if MSW. JLC deserves her own cosy murder show. Forcing her to compete with one of the biggest legends of all time in cosy mystery genre is entirely unfair to JLC and to Angela Lansbury.

Anyway. What I'm asking for is a cosy mystery with an engaging older lead that I want to watch every week. More Cannes Anne wheelchair's and false teeth. Ideally, with a decent writing team. DiP is no longer that for me. Father Brown has never been that for me. Am I glad it fits the bill for other people? Sure. Does it fit what I need? No. Harry Wild is the closest and even that has not entirely satisfied my itch.

You know, it's genuinely sad to me that aging favourite character actors no longer have any fun murder-mystery tv shows to guest-star as murders on.

#father brown #I just don't enjoy father brown #death in paradise #the only appeal for me for that show was Ben Miller #he's been gone for a decade #I have watched all the pther cast as theyve changed over. and I don't enjoy it.#harry wild #jane seymour #kathy bates #jamie lee curtis #stop fucking rebooting shit #it pains me to compliment America about anything #but they have perfected the cost murder mystery in 1970s/80s/90s and I am still looking for that watchability and fun #but their murder mysteries now are absolute shite

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baronessvonglitter · 2 days ago

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Law of Attraction ~ Chapter 6

Rom Com AU divorce lawyer!Dave York x fem!Reader (featuring private investigator!Tim Rockford)

Word count: 3,761

Summary: You and Dave reconcile, but a heavy confession brings you to realize just how similar you are. And when an unfamiliar name slips off an innocent tongue, a professional is called in to get the truth.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Explicit for smut. Angst. Idiots in love but they're too blind to see it or are really good at ignoring it. Mentions of eating and drinking alcohol. Masturbation (m) while watching porn. Marital strife. Accusations of adultery. A certain broad-shouldered detective comes in to find out what's really going on. Reader has hair long enough to blow in the wind & wears a dress and makeup. No use of y/n. (anything I've forgotten please LMK)

Author's note: (at the end)

Series Masterlist

Your employees are gathered around you as you display your next creation, the dessert of the month at Fiction & Frosting.

"This is the perfect Mille-Feuille," you show them. "Puff pastry, cream, fresh strawberries.."

You tear your glance away from the glossy page in the cookbook and force yourself to gaze upon your own creation: the puff pastry is wilted, the icing is melted, and no amount of fresh fruit decoration can save it.

"So why doesn't mine look like that?" you pose the frustrated question to yourself.

Suggestions are made, recipe changes offered, and you listen to each one, still amazed at how you haven't mastered such a simple dessert. You don't even want to think about the macarons you had to dump out after they burned. ("Shit. They're utter shit," you murmured as you tossed them in the bin.)

With the bakery open everyone moves to their assigned spots and you're free to stay in the kitchen in the back, pondering why you're making so many mistakes. There's no doubt about it, you're not in your right mind. You haven't been okay since the night Dave kissed you.

A sharp twist of wistfulness lodges itself into your heart when you pull out your phone to see he hasn't texted or called. Two weeks of no contact. Then again, you haven't really reached out to him either, afraid of his icy demeanor.

When he'd finally come by to pick up his car, you weren't home. You'd hoped for at least a glimpse of him, but he probably timed it so that he wouldn't have to see you. You can't help feeling pity for yourself for that.

With a sigh you take a bite of the awful mille-feuille. It isn't that bad, just not very presentable, probably because you weren't paying attention. You were never this scatterbrained in your work when Javier was being his idiotic self, so why is this married man taking up so much space in your brain?

"Friendly? Is that what you want me to be? Just friendly?"

His words ring in your ears, a taunting tune. What if you'd said no? What if you'd given in to your true feelings and slept with him that night? Would you be swimming in guilty feelings now instead of wondering What If?

Could you just push aside your doubt and reach out to him? Even if it's just to selfishly calm the torment of being away from him?

Girl, you're talking like you're in love with him.

You push the thought away, not ready to peek inside that particular Pandora's Box. Avoidance is easy for you, you've perfected the art of looking the other way when Javier fucked every woman in sight.

You check your phone again, but the only recent text you have is from your sister, who's trying to talk you into doing a pastry course in Paris, part of her school's program that's doing an art course there as well over the summer.

Years ago you would have jumped at the chance, despite what Javier would do to get you to stay. But now you feel you have nothing to keep you here, even if it is only for two months. You've told her maybe for the time being. You still have a few weeks to decide.

Scrolling back to your texts with Dave, you feel a loneliness there that cuts deeper than your split with Javier. Led by your desire to do what's right, what you want more than anything is to renew your friendship with Dave.

Taking a deep breath in and letting it out, you shut your mind off and let your body take over as you mill about the kitchen, gathering bowls and utensils, turning on the oven and pouring ingredients.

Across the street, Dave's in a meeting with a potential client. Another scorned woman, another broken heart. Unlike with you, he feels a detachment from her. He's here for business, and he's damn good at what he does.

The new client, a young woman who's giving him lascivious looks from beneath her false lashes, is giving him obvious signals. She's leaning forward to show off her generous cleavage, and he should earn an Academy Award for pretending that he doesn't feel the slide of her silk stocking-ed foot under the hem of his pants, against his shin. She must sense his disinterest because she takes it up several notches when she places her palm on his upper thigh, practically begging for it.

He refers her to another lawyer, politely passing her off to his lucky cohort before going back to his office to reassess.

If he was younger and still in this same predicament with Carol, he wouldn't have given her blatant come-ons a second thought. But it's not his wife who keeps him from forsaking his marriage vows. It's you.

Sighing, he puts his hands in his pockets and goes to the window, seeing your bakery/bookstore across the way. He imagines you scurrying about, a dusting of flour on your face as you roll a rolling pin across a lump of dough, and straightening the shelves to showcase a new book coming out. He hopes you're not thinking of him, then he kills that hope and tells himself he wants you to think of him the way he's thinking of you.

He pushes down any second guesses about the situation you're both in, and puts on his jacket as he leaves the office, heading straight for your building.

You wrap your green sweater around you as you make your way on the crosswalk connecting your side of the street in his. An olive branch in the form of a cake in a mint green pastry box is in your hands. Your heart races as you wonder if he'll even see you after all that's happened, but those worries drop down and die when you spot him in the crowd walking towards you. There's a twinkle in his eyes as he spots you, and he smiles.

He's on his way to your place, to say hello and see if you're willing to talk to him. He wants to set things right, and the moment he lays eyes on you in that white floral dress and green sweater, your hair held back in matching ribbon, his heart (and his dick, if he's honest) react in a very positive way.

Both of you meet in the middle, the crowd rushing around you on either side, but neither of you take any notice of them. Time stops for a brilliant, beautiful moment.

"I was on my way to you," he says.

"I was bringing this to you," you tell him. "To say sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for. Really, I'm to blame."

"A lawyer accepting blame? Won't you get disbarred for that?" you joke.

He laughs at that, and the sound of it sets your heart alight. "So that's for me?"

"Yeah.. black forest cake. I remember you told me it's your favorite."

Maybe it's the way the breeze gently lifts the ends of your hair, or the luscious curve of your cherry lips, but he will think of this moment, this small act of kindness, for the rest of his days.

The crosswalk is empty and the light's about to change. And the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, "I think Carol's cheating on me."

You quickly bring him back to the cafe where you pour him a cup of strong black coffee with a splash of amaretto added from your stash in your office.

He spills his guts to you: Carol's leaving at random times, more often at night to go to "work". He wonders how often a hospital director is needed overnight. He's called, on a whim, just to see if she's really there, but is always given the "she's here but she's unavailable" runaround.

You ask if she gets dressed up for these late night work shifts, if she wears perfume and makeup. (Yes to all.)

Does she shower right after coming home? Has she shown less interest in having sex? (That question really hurts to ask, but you can't help a little selfish joy when he answers that they haven't been intimate in a long time.)

"Maybe she's spending time doing something else," you tell him, your cake untouched on both your plates in front of you. "Maybe she wants time away from you and the kids and is too afraid to say it."

"That sounds like her. She's always put her job first," Dave says glumly.

You hate seeing the dispirited look on his handsome face. "You should talk to her about it. Come on, use some of those lawyering skills you're so famous for," you smirk.

"It's like talking to a brick wall," he quips, leaning forward to enjoy his cake. "I'm actually sorry I even brought it up."

"Don't be. If it's important to you, it's important to me." You pause. "Can I admit to doing something stupid?"

"Are you asking for confidentiality priveleges? Because that only counts if I'm still representing you," he smirks.

"Ha ha," you roll your eyes. "The night you left my place.. I ended up going to Javier's."

"Oh." He puts his fork down, jealousy nibbling away at his rational thought. "Did you..?"

"Yeah," you nod, lips pursed. "I got what I needed, but it wasn't really the same anymore, you know? I didn't feel anything for him."

You lighten the mood by telling him about poor Cindy, the way karma had played the Uno reverse card on her.

A little smile curls the corners of Dave's mouth. "I could write a book on how much I hate that guy."

It's a good feeling to spill to him the secrets of your soul. But what you refrain from telling, the one thing that could turn around and bite you, is that while you were in Javier's bed you were thinking of Dave.

Carol has been gone for a couple hours, the aroma of her perfume still lingering in the air of their en suite bathroom as Dave brushes his teeth and gets ready for bed.

Laying there alone, as he's used to by now, his thoughts drift to you. His heart is full now that you've reconciled, and even though he has a feeling there's always going to be complicated feelings, he takes the risk because you're worth it.

Your smile, the light in your eyes when you laugh, how your fingers always find a way to brush against his or your hand rests on his arm. The way you kissed him back that one night is burned into his brain. The taste of your mouth has become his new favorite flavor, at least until he can taste another part of you-

Stop it.

With a deep sigh he takes his phone from the nightstand and does a quick search. Not his first rodeo, what he's seeking is already colored purple as he's accessed it many times. When the porn site pulls up it offers every scenario anyone could possibly want, but he has something very specific in mind.

He searches by your features, looking for an actress similar to you, trying to avoid the guilt settling in the pit of his stomach. What would you think of him if you knew? But he's already getting search results, salivating over the thumbnails of women who bear a passing resemblance to you in various positions, scantily clad or even just naked.

Selecting one, his heart pounds in a drumlike fashion as he waits for it to load, the site's short theme song filling him with anticipation, his dick already raging hard. Getting lost in the unlikely scenario between the two actors, he strokes himself, pajama pants pulled down over his thighs. He turns the volume down as low as possible, the moans and sighs barely audible. But after awhile he doesn't even need the video. Just the memory of you is enough, and better than any video.

And then, as if she has a sixth sense for when her husband is trying to meet his needs, Carol comes in and he quickly puts his phone away and stops what he's doing.

"Were you watching smut again?" she sighs in exasperation.

Dave flushes with embarrassment, but he's not going to lie about it. "Yeah, I was," he shrugs, pulling his pants up. Carol just shakes her head and goes straight into the shower, another tally mark in Dave's mental stack of evidence against her.

She comes out later, freshly scrubbed, wearing her usual nighgown and applies some cream to her elbows, facing away from her husband. "If you're going to watch anything crazy just put your earbuds in, okay?" With a heavy sigh she gets into bed next to him and lays on her side, her back to him.

He doesn't even give her the satisfaction of answering. As if he could even get hard in this moment. He lays awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling, wishing himself anywhere but here.

Carol's voice, unusually soft, finds him in the dark. "I think you're having an affair," she accuses.

His heart jumps in his chest. Is there something she knows? Has he been careless? Has she had him followed and been seen with you? He sits up. "An affair? Are you serious? Why would you think that?"

She sits up too, ready to accuse him further. "We haven't had sex in weeks. You're always too tired."

He has no defense for that, but it's not as if things are entirely his fault. "I've just been busy. And tired," he adds. "Besides, your'e the one always running off to work at strange hours."

She huffs. "Are you really going to use my job as an excuse? You're never in the mood.. do you not find me attractive anymore?"

"Of course I do.. you're still the same gorgeous woman I married."

"Then kiss me. Right now."

He's taken aback by the sudden command, surprised by the directness of it. "What?"

Carol lays back down. "The man I married wouldn't hesitate like that."

A pang of guilt flares in Dave's chest. She's right, but as her accusations have gone no further he rests in the meanwhile safety. "I'm just tired," he mumbles, head falling onto his pillow, his back to her and her back to him.

"So am I," she answers, a cold finality in her tone.

The next evening while Carol's out of town for a conference. When he's called into the office on an emergency case, he asks if you're free to keep an eye on the girls. With nothing else to do, you happily accept, and spend the day baking chocolate chip cookies and watching their favorite movies.

By the time Dave comes home in the late evening, the three of you are watching the classic version of Cinderella. He smiles at the domestic little sight, heart warming at the brief fantasy that this could be what he comes home to every night.

As the girls fall asleep between you, Cinderella meets her handsome prince at the ball. "So This Is Love" plays while the fated lovers dance. Your hand and his find their way across, gently clasping.

And just like Cinderella, it's almost midnight and you have to go. But not before cleaning up, even though Dave insists he's fine to do it on his own.

From her bedroom, Alice calls out for her daddy, and you both go up to see what's the matter.

"I want a glass of water," she mumbles. Dave smiles at her groggy little voice and goes to fetch her a cup. While he's gone you sit on the edge of her bed and she shows you her stuffed animal collection, her favorite one is a purple unicorn named Mr. Fluffy.

"Where's Mommy?" she asks when her dad comes back with a cup of water for her.

He ruffles her hair. "She's just working late tonight, kiddo. She'll be home soon."

"Is she with Uncle Joel?"

Dave's heart drops but he covers his surprise just in time. "What do you mean, baby? Who's Uncle Joel?" Carol's an only child. The girls don't have any uncles on her side.

"He's Mommy's friend who comes to fix the pipes," she says, chugging her water before getting back under the covers.

He forces a smile, sitting between you and her on the bed. "Does Uncle Joel come over a lot?" he asks innocently.

"He comes when you're not here. Mommy tells him you can't fix them, Daddy. Only Joel can."

A thousand thoughts swarm his head but he's used to keeping his cool in unexpected situations. "What happens when he comes over, sweetie?" His voice is still calm and even, belying the fear constricting his gut.

"He talks to Mommy in private. She giggles a lot."

The dots are connecting and not in a good way. A man in my house, the house I bought because Carol liked it so much, shaking the mud off his boots like it's no big deal before doing god-knows-what with my wife.. His blood runs cold as he wears his facade once more. "Okay, sweetie, why don't you get some sleep. I'll make some cinnamon waffles for breakfast tomorrow."

Alice nods excitedly, then looks at you. "Will you eat breakfast with us tomorrow?"

Shaken by what she's revealed so far you do your best to give an answer. "Uh, we'll see, honey. Maybe." Your smile is strained but she doesn't seem to notice.

Leaving the bedroom door open just a crack he walks down the hall, running his hand over his face.

"Kids," you force some light-heartedness into your words. "They have such big imaginations, you know?"

He doesn't answer you, his back turned to you as he hides his face in his hands.

"Are you okay, Dave?" you place a tentative touch on his shoulder.

Finally he turns to you, face reddened with an anger he never thought he'd have to feel. "My youngest daughter just told me that my wife has been having another man over to the house behind my back. Alice is a bright girl but she wouldn't invent a story like that."

"Hold on," you tell him gently, your hands on his biceps, willing him to loosen up, even just physically. "You don't know anything for certain. Just hearsay. Right, Mr. Big Shot Attorney?"

Your attempt at humor only gets you a bitter laugh from him.

"Is it possible Carol's just friends.. with a plumber?" you speculate. But of course you don't believe it either.

Dave narrows his eyes at you for a moment before realizing nothing about this is your fault and you're just trying to help. The moment that you step into his arms they immediately close around you. He marvels at how you fit together so perfectly.

"You should talk to her when she comes home," you suggest, not moving an inch from his embrace. The last thing you want to do is give him marriage advice when it's a real possibility that his wife could be unfaithful.

"Somehow I doubt she'll be amenable to an honest discourse on her fidelity," he grumbles, not wanting to think about her, shutting the bad feelings away while you're in his arms.

You inhale the scent of him, the warm spice of his lingering aftershave. The spark between you only intensifies. You're tempted to press your lips to his strong, soft neck, you can already imagine his pulse point racing beneath your lips.

When he pulls away it snaps you out of your fantasy, and you are acutely aware of the heat blooming between your legs, the slick pooling in your panties.

"How about a private investigator?" you ask.

He shakes his head as if he's already thought of it. "The only ones I know are in a professional regard. I don't want it bandied about that I've had to resort to surveilling my own wife."

"In that case it's your lucky day. I know a guy."

After emailing the pertinent information to your contact, he's at Dave's address within half an hour.

Clad in a classic tan trenchoat, white button down with hastily done striped tie and black trousers, Tim Rockford looks every bit what Dave had expected. The former detective sizes up his prospective client from behind thick black eyeglass frames before turning to you with a soft smile. Tim often does background checks for your employees, and you trust him with an even more personal task like this.

"Are you David York?" the man asks, a to-go cup of coffee that's going cold very fast is in one hand and his briefcase in the other.

"Yeah, I am," Dave answers. "Come on in."

The three of you settle in the living room. "Now, tell me about why you want me to surveil your spouse," he says, getting down to brass tacks.

Seated next to you, Dave explains his situation, the late nights that Carol's had to go in, the mention of "Uncle Joel" by his daughter. He leaves out the part about him spending much of his time with you possibly contributing to the lack of affection in his marriage, and you keep quiet as well.

Soon Tim has all the information he needs to move forward. He has Carol's work address, and will do some digging on the Joel fellow. "It'll take a couple weeks to get some basic information, given they're still meeting each other. I advise you not to start any arguments or accuse her of anything in the meantime or it'll risk ruining the investigation. If she catches wind that you're onto her, she may change her plans or even call it off with him altogether. For the time being, just play dumb."

Dave nods, even though he doesn't like it.

"There is a fee, of course," Tim adds. He writes the number on a scrap of paper and Dave, sighing, accepts.

"He was on the force for over a dozen years," you tell him. "It'll be money well spent. Even if there's nothing going on."

"Whatever is going on, I'll debrief you at our next meeting once I've collected the proper evidence," Tim says.

It's a plan set in motion, and Dave isn't really sure what he wants the outcome to be. If Carol's fucking around, he gets his heart broken. If she's not, it's even worse. Because now he knows he'd leave her for you.

A/n: So yeah, two more Pedro boys in the mix.. yes it is that Joel 👀One of y'all needs to come get your man because he's filling holes that aren't his 🫢And Tim! I've been waiting to bring him to the story ❤️

dividers by @strangergraphics and @saradika-graphics 👑

taglist: @penascigarette @joelalorian @la-vie-est-une-fleur29

@darkheartgatita @speaktothehandpeasants @rav3n-pascal22

@vickie5446 @mrs-pedro-pascal @zascal @sunnytuliptime

@mysticsuitcasealmondwombat @joelmillerisapunk @almostfoxglove

@itwasntimethatdidit40 @604to647 @milla-frenchy

@everybodylovedcontractors @misstokyo7love @ppascalq

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pompomchihuahua · 2 days ago

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Genya's Role in the Family

So, today, because I never shut up and I love Genya, I wanted to talk a little more about Genya, specifically his role in his family from the little we see of them and the conclusions I've personally drawn from that.

First of all, from what I can gather, it looks like Genya filled in more a homemaker role than a "man of the family" or traditional gender normative older brother role. In fact, it seems like he's taken up the burden of what you'd normally expect to be placed on the eldest sister.

I find it so interesting that in our first shot of the whole family together where they're all sleeping, we can already glean a lot of their situation. But what I want to focus on is how everyone gets their own futon, even Sanemi! Everyone except Genya, who's sleeping with baby Koto.

We know why he's not sleeping with his mama but wouldn't it make the most logical sense for him to go with the eldest? Sanemi is older than Genya by at least five years (21 to Genya's 16 in canon) ergo he would be the most responsible. Or, if you want to be gender normative since this is the very early 1900's, why not with his eldest sister?

Well, first of all, we know Sanemi trusts him above all the other siblings. We know this because Genya is the one he chose to confide in when making the promise to protect everyone. We also know that when Sanemi goes to go looking for their mother, he trusts in Genya to watch over the kids while he's gone. Which brings me to another point.

Just look at how all of them turn to him!

How he cradles baby Koto back to sleep, Genya warning them away from the door just before disaster strikes.

Even in official art, Genya is the one carrying the baby while Sanemi does the hard labor. Which brings me to Sanemi's role. Legally in this time period, he is the head of the house, which means he and Shizu are likely their main bread-winners. In the flashback, Sanemi is the one pulling the cart with the heaviest load while Genya carries a small knapsack.

During Genya's monologue he says this: "My mother was always working, from morning until night. Not once did I ever see her sleeping."

So if Shizu is always working and Sanemi is always working, who's taking care of the babies?

Well, based on how Genya interacts with the younger siblings, I would place my bets on him!

And siblings caring for their younger siblings or just young children in general was so common in rural areas they were called Komori, though they were typically little girls caring for the children of wealthy people. Simply put, by placing the burden of child-rearing on a Komori, you could free up more time for you to work.

And, it's shown that Genya does have the gentleness and patience for it. He's fiercely protective of his siblings (punching the landlord's son for making Sumi cry, standing up the caterpillar girls in One Winged butterfly). The corps record book states that Gyomei helps him regain his "gentle nature", something you'd definitely need for child rearing. He also has the patience and attention to detail needed for it as shown by his love for bonsai.

I find it so interesting that Genya has so many parallels to Nezuko from him being the only survivor out of all the little siblings while the older sibling was away, to the demonic ties to even their gentleness. And I know this was intentional: just like Gyutaro and Daki are meant to show "what could have been," Sanemi and Genya are also meant to be a "what could have been" scenario as well.

But I find Genya so much more fascinating, not just because of how he defies gender norms just from the little that we see from his past but from littlest details of his character. I could make a whole different post just on his speech patterns and how it reflects his emotional stunt in growth and how he's forcing himself to be more of a man to get closer to Sanemi.

He wears his emotions on his sleeve but he's still a private and reserved person, he's fierce but he's gentle. He's a walking dichotomy and just an excellent character with a very interesting ability that I could go on and on about too.

I would like to give a special shout out to @princeblue and boff and bepp and rose and everyone else on the blue corps server! I never would have been able to put these thoughts into words until they let me ramble at them endlessly and they rambled back!!!!!

#kny genya #demon slayer #ramblies #genya shinazugawa #kimetsu no yaiba #kny sanemi #kny analysis #genya #sanemi shinazugawa #shinazugawa brothers

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abbysimsfun · 24 hours ago

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Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 122 (The Elusive Rafa Bonilla)

"Conrad? Conrad wake up! Oh man, I'm so sorry, please wake up..."

Slowly, Conrad's eyes adjusted to the torchlit room, which smelled like seawater and wet wood. Coarse grains of sand scratched against the back of his head. His blurred vision subsided as he blinked dust from his eyelashes. Rafa knelt over him pleadingly, gently lifting his head. "Wh-where am I?"

"Inside the abandoned ship. I brought you down here when I realized it's really you. I've been waiting for you to wake up for a while."

"How long was I out?"

Rafa shrugged. "The sun will be up soon."

Conrad struggled to push himself up and Rafa reached out a hand to help him. "I need to call Heather."

Rafa nodded. "Your phone rang a bunch of times," he admitted. "I turned it off after a while."

The place was half full of sand and the wood beams were falling apart. He looked at Rafa, all grown up, instinctively leaning in for a hug. Even though he'd knocked him out and was a lot bigger than the boy he remembered, Conrad couldn't believe he killed the Brindletons.

"Why are you out here?"

"I don't have to pay rent, and if anyone comes around to play on the old mast, I padlock the door or hide out in the caves."

"When was the last time you checked in to work?"

"Couple days ago. I tried to get in to the villa but I couldn't. Figured maybe the old man and his wife had gone home and no one told me."

Conrad frowned. "Oliana Ngata said you have a key. You didn't go inside? Take your shoes off, find George, maybe step in the blood under June Brindleton's bed, then clean yourself off in the master bathroom and run?"

Rafa tried to protest, but the look in his eyes told Conrad he was on the right track. It was the same guilty look he used to give when he tried to say his homework was done because he just wanted to play video games.

"I didn't kill them, I swear, and those aren't my footprints. I saw a couple guys jump off the villa balcony and swim off, but I didn't see which way they went. I found the Brindletons dead and got scared. I've been ignoring Oliana's calls for days. She owes me a week's pay, but she can keep it. I'll figure it out, but I'm not going down for murder. I never killed anyone."

"The other stuff you've been into isn't great, Rafa. San Myshuno PD would love to toss the book at you just to close the cases they've got with your name on them."

"I know that. I don't want to go to prison. I never wanted to run any of the drugs I ran, and I didn't start that fire. Jimmy's a pyro freak and I tried to put it out. Cops said I was fanning the flames but that's crap, Conrad. I swear."

"Jimmy's dead, Rafa."

The young man's face fell. "How?"

"I think your sister ordered the hit to get my attention. I've been looking for you for years."

"To bring me in?"

"Look...you knew me before I was a cop, and I don't want to bring you in, but I've got a family and Ximena's trying to take me down. We finally got her in handcuffs and behind bars, but we need to prove she was involved in Jimmy's murder or she could walk. Right now all we've got her on is rental fraud, but you might be able to plead down your own sentence if you're willing to give intel on Ximena."

"I don't know anything about Jimmy's death." Rafa scoffed. "I don't want to talk to my sister, but you know what she did for me, getting us out of Selva when she did."

"And then what? She dragged you into a life working for the cartel, anyway. You could give her stories away, Rafa. Separate her from the cartel, paint her for who she is and what she dragged you into. Forget Jimmy's murder for a minute. Let them see your involvement in your own crimes was under pressure from your sister."

"I always wanted to get out, but Ximena needed me."

"She doesn't need you now."

"If I turn on her, she'll turn on me. I don't know what you want me to do, but I just want to live in peace out here. I want to turn this place into a cool SimBnB or something. Renovate it, you know? Maybe I could have more than one, eventually. I just want to live out my life far away from any cartels. Far away from Ximena. If I go back, I'll go to prison just like her."

"Rafa, I'll do anything I can to help you stay out of prison whether you help me or not. I'll talk to lawyers, judges, find you the right advice. I can't promise a plea deal without jail time, but I can try."

Rafa shook his head. "No. I'm sorry, I can't help you. Ximena was always there for me, and you left! As Javier Vargas, I could recognize the guys in a lineup if you find suspects for the Brindletons' murder, but I can't bring down my sister. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I left. I had to, but you're the closest thing to a little brother I'd ever had. It was a lot harder to leave you than it was to leave her." Conrad frowned, shifting a little on his feet. "You're really staying here? In an old shipwreck?"

"I miss electricity and haven't played a video game in years, but this is a good place to hide out. It's not open to the public because it's not structurally sound, but no one ever comes down here. If I can get the place fixed up enough for a rental, it'll be much better. A lot less sand."

"And you're not worried I'll send police to arrest you?"

"You'd have me arrested because I won't help you?"

"It's not just me she's after, Rafa. Heather and I are getting married, and we have a daughter; she's almost three. And I love Heather's son like he's my own. He's the same age now that you were when I met you, but I've known him so long...you and Melissa were still together when I met him."

"Don't talk about Mel. She's not involved in any of this. She never was, and she's better off without me."

Conrad's stomach growled. He hadn't eaten since yesterday. "Got any food?" he wondered, as much for himself as he was worried about Rafa.

The young man pointed him in the direction of his small, off-grid kitchen. "There's enough ice in the icebox to keep a few things cool. You can have some yogurt if you want."

Conrad took him up on the offer and considered his next move while he devoured a bowl of coconut yogurt and looked around the dismal digs. Rafa had a bed, a table, the tiny kitchen, and a hole in the ground for a bathroom. He was living far worse than Conrad ever did in his dated old apartment in the city.

Rafa might be Ximena's sole weak point and he had to exploit it, but Conrad wouldn't be able to live with himself if he exploited Rafa, too. He needed him to want to help, but had no idea how to change his mind.

He turned his phone back on and the device started beeping with notifications - multiple missed calls, texts, and voicemails. He sighed. The best he could do for now was keep Rafa's secret and hope he'd flip. He had to fly back to the mainland...after his impulsive neatness made him clean up a bit of dirt and sand near the small kitchen sink - which didn't even dispense water.

Conrad needed to check in with Heather and with work, and open a new investigation into the death of George and June Brindleton. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary

Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary

WCIF: Conrad on the floor and Rafa bent over him is another from @yibsimchronicles' Fainted posepack, and probably my favourite pose in the collection!

#sims 4 #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 screenshots #sims 4 legacy #sims in bloom #ts4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #ts4 screenshots #sims 4 story #ts4 story #legacy challenge #sims legacy #ts4 legacy challenge #gen 2 #sulani

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moltenapian · 1 day ago

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> assuming the dom is a man

> assuming the dom is doing it because they like to see the sub suffer instead of doing it purely as an exercise in making their sub feel good in the ways that best work for them

Like fr

Not to get too personal on main but I've been pretty seriously SAd fairly continuously over a period of about five years of my life. Without going into details, it's led to pretty serious drives to self-harm. More beneath the cutoff of you want to read, I guess. It's late so I'm going to be very personal.

Drives that have been rewarded by society at large, in fact. Exercising 25 hours a week on less than 1800 calories a day, while it absolutely ruined my body in the long, made me one of the best rowers in my state in the short term. Nobody pulled me aside and told me that it was unhealthy, that I'd hurt myself, that in four years I'd hardly be able to function and certainly not in any high level athletics. No, they just cared I was faster at racing boats than the others.

I sought self harm in a lot of ways, none of which were controlled. Staying up far too late and working much longer hours than I should have. Not eating anywhere near enough in order to maintain my thin figure. All of it, rewarded and encouraged.

Only after some very severe health scares and deep reexamination of my situation did I really truly identify these drives and how they affected me in such an unhealthy manner. I can't get rid of them. After five years of consistent sexual trauma (and otherwise but we don't need to worry about that) those things are rooted too deep to excise.

But now that I'm in a healthy relationship with a partner who is accepting and understanding of my hangups, trauma triggers, and the things which I need to be able to function in a relationship, I've been able to deal with these impulses in a healthy way.

Better to handle that stuff in a scene where absolutely everything is agreed upon by both parties beforehand, safewords are strictly enforced, and nothing gets pushed too too far. Just enough to stop the part of my brain that wants me to hurt to be satiated for a while. My instincts for self harm are almost entirely abated with occasional "rough" sex and bitter drinks (ngl in my experience a very good way to alleviate those feelings).

Anyways, these days I've been sleeping enough, eating enough, and the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in my life. A productive environment to be able to work out those feelings is really invaluable, and I'm glad to have it.

All this goes to say... it sounds like OP either hasn't practiced safe BDSM (which is a very real risk, don't get me wrong) or is simply judging something based on an emotional/moral reaction. Anyways the criticisms really don't hold up, and tbh in 98% of cases competitive sports teams rely on the same dynamics and are wayyyy more unhealthy. I could write a whole essay on this but now is not the time.

This post is stupid as hell and I'm certainly sorry I (and you all) had to see it

not me printing and framing this shit

#rosie speaks

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ghostmoon1 · 2 days ago

Text

You know what, to start the year off, Imma make this lil appreciation post.

Now it's only been like, less than a year since I joined Tumblr about, I've been writing and drawing for years before this point, but the community here, especially the CoD community which I am mainly apart of just made me feel amazing. Everyone I've met here are some of the nicest people.

I have gotten my old hobbies back, giving me reason to write and draw again which have majorly helped with my own mental health, and now I just wanted to give the amazing people a shout out to start the year off, to hopefully make peoples days, and to just let them know that I appreciate yall!

In no specific order :3 and if you don't wanna be pinged again by me, please let me know and I won't!! No harm done, I hope this is okay :) and this is prob gonna be cringe or smt.. all sappy but like.Yeah here yall are lmao-

Putting them under the cut as there are a few :3

@gomzdrawfr - You've been a massive influence since I joined the CoD community, I adored your art from the very start, and your just such a sweet and kind person, one that I'm so thankful to have met, and so proud to be able to call you my friend. You're the first proper friend I've made here, and I can't tell you how much our talks make me smile every single time. And I'm also so thankful for the community you have sorta helped me get into, you've helped me feel comfortable interacting with more people here :3

@shadeops21 - You were honestly the person that got me to join Tumblr! I was looking for something to try and make my own Konig cosplay (that's been given up on bc motivation and Tik Tok just. yeahhh) and I found you, and all your amazing work! I basically made my account to see if you'd make any more, cause I just love what you do so much, it's got to be so helpful for so many people!!

@sleepyconfusedpotato - After Shadeops, you were the very second person I found here! And oh my gosh how much I obsessed (and still do) over your art, especially Jade. You inspired me to write my first ever fic on here, actually, where I made my first CoD oc ship with Soap, your art and what you do honestly helped me feel comfortable making something like that for myself, cause some of the toxic people on Tik Tok made me uneasy and unsure about that lol- And now, I finally have an OC I'm working in depth on, and you're my biggest reason to thank for that.

@soaps-mohawk - Your writing has inspired me so much, and I couldn't thank you enough for making your wonderful fic. I may not be like, a OG, but I've been there since around chapter 20 I think? I could be wrong, but half way through sorta. You are the biggest reason I started writing again here, you just create masterpieces. And this is the first time I've ever been hooked into a fic so much, and what got me into liking the Omegaverse (you hooked me and I can't let go of it now...) Thank you for taking your time with your writing, and thank you for all the inspiration you have given me.

@on-a-lucky-tide - Oh my gosh how much you have yanked me into the Nikprice community. I adore every single one of your writing pieces, and honestly, you are another who has helped inspire me to write more. All your writing is so filled with emotion and love, I want to be able to do that as well. Your a wonderful person, I've seen you interact with this community and everyone, and I just adore you as a person and all the hard work you put time and effort into creating.

@rainyrambles-overcod - I adore your oc's and rambles so much!! And I couldn't tell you how happy it makes me to have a friend that is okay with the tag games, I never know who to tag for those sorta things, but I actually feel okay tagging you and they are so fun and always brighten my mood :3 Keep creating, I can't wait to see what else you come up with. Thank you for all the tag games and fun!!

@nekrosmos - Yet another that has helped drag me into the Nikprice community or cult ig that too. Your art is absolutely amazing, I truly want to be able to draw like you do. Just everything about your art has me in awe, the emotion, the style, the love everything. Seeing your art brings me so much happiness! Oh and your writing is BEAUTIFUL. That also brings me joy to take a little time out of my day to sit and read the time and effort you put into everything, and how kind of a person you are. I always hope you'll keep creating, and always remember how much joy you bring both myself and others.

@daredaredoodles - I know we don't interact a whole lot, but you honestly mean a lot to me still. You were my first ever mutual on this site, and I will be forever grateful for this. Personally its anxiety that stops me from barging into peoples Dm's and talking, but yeah. Thank you for that, even if it is only a small thing.

@cricricorner - you were my first follower, and I still see you in my notifications from time to time, which always brings me joy! It's wonderful to see your followers still interact with your content, and I couldn't say how grateful I am. I couldn't tell you how happy I was to gain my first follower here, so thank you for taking your time to read my writing and see my art.

@daydreamsareallineed - You were pretty much the first person to show so much interest in my main fic!! And oh my gosh I couldn't ever tell you how much joy it brought me to read your comments, to have someone so interested in my writing, that personally I didn't even think was that good. I haven't given up completely on the fic dw, I'll hopefully update it soon! Motivation just go brrr. Thank you so much for all your support, it means the world to me.

And another shoutout to everyone who supports me, who follows me, and to every single one of you that like and reblog my content. I look through every single note I receive, I assure you none of you are left out.

And my final shoutout to everyone that creates on this site. The community here is like nothing I've ever experienced before. I adore scrolling through everyone's art, it all makes my day. I've never felt so comfortable and unjudged before. Thank you to everyone who contributes to this, you all make my day <3

This turned out a lot longer than I meant it to be- but I just wanted to share how I felt with this new year. I'm sorry if you'd rather not be pinged-

But have a lovely day :3 I love you all!!

#moonie talks

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thepenultimateword · 2 days ago

Text

Monster Compendium

CW: Murder scene, some gore

Petra sat as still as stone. Half out of habit, half to avoid unnecessary attention. She’d helped put at least half of the villains present away; the last thing she needed was to cause an uproar before she even completed what she came here for.

"Cillian Morse, aka 'Monstrosity'," the judge said. "Please come to the stand."

The villain rose from the bench of handcuffed, grey-clad criminals, packed side by side like sardines in a can.

The Superpowered Penitentiary and Rehabilitation Center (SPARC) was overstuffed. Because of this, their semiannual parole hearing usually involved slotting as many prisoners as possible into one big day-long hearing. Maybe not the smartest idea when half the criminals present had some of the most dangerous, volatile powers on record, while the other half were too clever to be kept in a regular prison, but that was the city government for you. Impatient. Lazy.

Sure they had a line of guards on every wall, but who would that stop if any of these criminals had skipped suppressor meds?

As Monstrosity settled into his new seat at the head of the room, he swiveled his head around at the crowd. He met Petra's eyes at the back and blinked, tilting his head a little before grinning widely.

Petra didn't even blink.

"Mr. Morse," the judge said, scanning the file in front of him. "It seems you've been a resident at SPARC for three years now."

"You seem correct, sir," Monstrosity said. He tucked his hands under his chin, fixing that wide grin on the judge now.

"Your last 3 hearings deemed you unfit for parole." His finger trailed down the page. "Lack of empathy, uncooperative in therapy, riling other inmates, cheeking the super suppressors you've been prescribed, a downright refusal to make outside goals. I could go on."

Monstrosity waved his hand nonchalantly. "I was immature then. Angry. Lost. In denial. Over the last year, I've made vast improvements, as you'll see in my chart."

He mimed a page-turn.

The judge raised his brows but flipped to the next page in the file. His eyes scanned it from top to bottom.

"You have been successfully medicated for 8 months. Ah, and you passed your sanity test… and reintegration tests.” He narrowed his eyes at the page. “Your goal is to work at an animal shelter?"

"What can I say, I'm an animal guy."

"You've been expressly forbidden from interacting with any biological entities."

Monstrosity tilted his head with all the innocence of a puppy caught chewing shoes again. "Little hard to enforce that. Biological entities are all around us. Birds, grass spiders...heck, your honor, you are a biological entity."

The judge frowned severely. "Do you really want to make a threat right now, Mr. Morse?"

"What? We can't state facts anymore?" Monstrosity raised his locked hands in front of him. "All I'm saying is shelter or not, I will have access, so why bar me from a supervised space? Besides, I assume I'll be on meds still?"

The judge scoffed quietly as he scanned the file again. "It's indefinite how long you'll stay on suppressor meds." He looked up from the page and folded his hands together on the bench. "Tell me, Mr. Morse, do you know why you were sent to SPARC? Have you ever felt any remorse?"

For just an instant Monstrosity looked uncomfortable, but then he swallowed and it was gone, replaced by another smile. "The name sort of says it all. I was a monstrosity. I needed to be taken off the street." He smiled a little wider. Petra thought he might've meant it to look grateful, but to her, he looked like a hyena baring fangs. "But SPARC cured me."

The judge waited for more, perhaps something on that remorse question, but when Monstrosity didn't offer it he continued with the final question.

"Do you believe that you are reformed?"

"1000%," Monstrosity said, raising his right hand oathlike.

The judge gathered the file pages up in his hands, tapping them against the bench until they were even. "Unfortunately, I don't find you genuine."

Monstroisty opened his mouth but the judge continued.

"Eight months of good behavior is not a guarantor of rehabilitation. Make it last a whole year and we'll see at the next hearing. Cillian Morse will remain at SPARC for the next 6 months." He banged his gavel like a seal on the end of his sentence.

Monstrosity's entire expression morphed. Gone was the playful puppy, something toothy and terrible taking its place. "You--"

"Excuse me," Petra interrupted.

The entire room swiveled. A few criminals flinched back, but most started cursing furiously, the bitterness soon rising from loud voices to full out shouts.

The judge banged his gavel repeatedly until the criminals quieted enough that he could at least be heard over them. "Sentencer."

Petra didn't miss the way he looked at her, with little more respect than he looked at these criminals, but with more wariness. After all, she wasn't taking suppressors.

"You were not expected. I hope you have something relevant to add for you to interrupt."

Petra strode up the aisle, past the guards, past the shouting and lunging criminals, right up to the bench. She folded her hands neatly behind her back.

"I have an order from the top to take Cillian Morse into temporary custody."

The judge narrowed his eyes. ''Orders from who?"

“Accolade." Then, in case the director of SIRA (Superhuman Investigation and Response Agency) wasn't enough, "Chief Sanders and the warden also signed off on it." She reached into her pocket for the signed document. "I have proof of the order here if you need it."

The judge read over the page scrutinizingly, taking in all the unpleasantness that Petra had hesitated to voice somewhere so public.

"What makes you think that a villain could be any help in a criminal investigation?" he said finally.

"Body modification is his specialty."

"It seems risky."

"He will be under my supervision throughout the day and he will be returned to SPARC every night," Petra said coolly. "Any exceptions will be signed off directly with the prison."

Petra played along, but they both knew it wasn't in the judge's authority to say no. Yes, he could sentence the prisoners to more or less time in SPARC, but the warden and the prison's directors were the ones who decided if prisoners could be taken off the premises. It was only because today was hearing day that Petra was here instead of standing in front of a cell.

"If he's so important go ahead and take him." The judge extended the order back to her. As she went to take it, he suddenly leaned in close, voice lowered but commanding. "Keep him on his medication."

Petra pulled back without reaction. That wasn't her job. The orderlies at SPARC gave dosages once a day. Her responsibility was just to keep a good eye on the criminal so he would try to slip away.

She nodded curtly in Monstrosity's direction, and the man quickly rose to his feet, trotting after her with a smug smile.

"Bye," he sang to other criminals. "I'll see you all for dinner!"

"Screw you, Monstrosity!" one of the criminals shouted after him.

"Sorrrry, I don’t date criminals!”

That only made the group of villains rowdier, but Petra closed the door on the noise, and soon enough they were descending the steps of the courthouse.

Monstrosity trotted faster to catch up with her stride, cozying up against her shoulder. “Together at last.”

Petra shrugged him off, but the resistance only made Monstrosity bounce back more aggravating. He didn't touch this time, but he lingered close. The tiny sliver of space he left between them like a tease, an insistence he wasn't doing anything, while obviously putting in effort for something.

"Really, I never knew the Sentence had such a crush on me. A hero breaking a villain out of jail? It's so Romeo and Juliet!"

"Not a jailbreak," Petra clarified, pulling out her keys and clicking the bottom button until she heard the locks click on the little tightly parked sedan. "A temporary consultation."

"Riiight," Monstrosity winked. "Oh is this your car? Not exactly what I picture when I hear 'Sentencer'. I kinda thought you would drive around in some sort of Batmobile type vehicle. But nice parking. I love a person who knows how to parallel park."

Petra opened the passenger side door

Monstrosity pouted a little at her non-reaction but slid obediently into the passenger seat.

Petra took a breath before walking around the other side of the car. This was just how Monstrosity was. He’d probably flirt with a brick wall if he thought he could get something out of it. Not that he was one to actually keep up with any of the people he succeeded in wooing. A few of the informants she'd worked with to track him down had called him objectively charming--well, when he didn't have a rat tail or an extra set of arms or any of his other quote-unquote "freakish modifications"--but Petra didn't really see the appeal.

Petra spared the criminal a glance out of the corner of her eye.

Hypothetically, this time when he was on his suppression meds was the chance to see him as wholly human as possible, but he didn’t seem much different from any of the other villains at SPARC. Close clipped hair. Dark circles under the eyes. Baggy gray prison jumpsuit with the prison’s acronym across the back in bright orange and three matching stripes wrapping up each ankle and wrist. He was tall, probably about as tall as her, but he walked with a slump. At the very least, his eyes were something. A sharp pale gray, like frosted steel, piercing into everything he turned them upon.

"So where to?" Monstrosity said.

"Crime scene."

"Yay!"

"Don't be so happy about it; it's not exactly pretty."

"I expect crime scenes rarely are," Monstrosity said, grinning.

Petra started the engine.

“Excuse me, you’re not going to put me in danger by depriving me of a seatbelt, are you?” Monstrosity waved his cuffed hands in the air.

"Your arms work."

"The cuffs dig into my wrists whenever I bend them."

Petra flicked on her turn signal to enter traffic. "Sounds like a personal problem."

"So mean," he said. He twisted halfway around, holding his arms rigid and straight as he grasped for the belt. It took him a few tries, but he did manage to buckle himself. No sooner had the buckle clicked, than he tossed himself melodramatically against the door, the backs of his hands raised to his forehead. "And you call yourself a hero."

"We'll arrive in 10 minutes."

He side-eyed her. "You're not much of a conversationalist."

"Why should I be?"

"Fun? Entertainment? To pass the time?"

"I'm driving to a brutal crime scene with a handcuffed criminal. Does that sound fun to you?"

"It doesn't sound not fun." He slumped in his seat. "Just saying, for someone whose powers are in their voice, I thought you'd use it more."

Petra clenched the steering wheel. "No more talking."

"Seeee, that's what I'm saaaying," Monstrosity mumbled.

Petra ignored the partial taunt in his tone.

To be honest, she wasn't entirely sure why she was doing this. Yes, the scene was...interesting. And Monstrosity had experience both in criminal activity and biological manipulation, but she'd worked hard to get each one of these criminals off the street in the first place. She didn't love taking them back out. Monstrosity had been particularly tough to corner. She'd only set eyes on him a couple of times before her team had managed to pinpoint his location and make a collective attack. The element of surprise had been critical for that success even with all five of them.

Monstrosity had certainly lived up to his name that night.

No, out of all of the criminals Petra had put away, she couldn't take credit for Monstrosity. She never managed to get a proper read of him either. Usually when she investigated a criminal, she--in a way--got to know them. She learned their motives, their background, their character. All she knew about Monstrosity was that he was inhuman. Not only in the grotesque presentation of his powers but in his soul. He might have come off as charming to some, but he held no regard for anyone but himself.

The Welcome to Noville sign blurred as they passed it, and Monstrosity straightened in his seat.

"I thought you said the sight was ten minutes away."

"It is."

"But we're leaving the city."

"Not far."

She abruptly turned off on a dirt road so narrow it could barely count as a proper exit.

Monstrosity braced himself against the door.

"Be gentle with me Tency, I haven't been in a car chase in a while."

"Tency?" she growled.

"Not a lot of good nicknames for The Sentencer." He said "The Sentencer" like an old cartoon narrator announcing the hero.

"I don't do nicknames."

"Wow. You really are no fun, Tency."

Petra was not going to grace that obvious provocation with a response.

The grass grew tall and obscuring the further they traveled down the road, casting shade over the car. The blades reached over and through the rotting split-rail fences of abandoned private property.

She slowed a bit to maneuver around the roots of an enormous tree growing out of the left side of the road. Why anyone would build a road without fully clearing it she didn't know; maybe the tree was property too, preventing its removal as much as the fields prevented the road's expansion.

Monstrosity cricked his neck upward to look up through the windshield.

"Ugh."

"What?"

"Why are a zillion creepy tissue paper ghosts tied up there?"

Petra quickly glanced up into the depth of the trees, catching glimpses of swinging white.

"I only noticed the ribbons." She paused. "Probably just a tradition from one of the landowners."

They curved around the bend in the road and the stone ruins of a building came into view.

"Someone actually owns this place?"

"Trevon Bass and Theo O'Hannon. They're joint owners. Bought the land over two decades ago to use as farmland. And they did, a couple miles out."

Two cars--a police cruiser and a black Volkswagen--were already parked in front of the stone wall, so Petra pulled up beside them.

"But apparently this house here is historical. Meaning the direct area may also have historical value. They didn't want to mess with it, and now only come out occasionally to ensure no one is vandalizing or squatting in it. Bass found the body yesterday."

"Body? Oh, this is interesting."

Petra jerked the gear stick into park. He really was too excited about this.

She got out of the car and walked around to open the passenger side door, eying the neighboring Volkswagen all the way. It was one of the shared agency vehicles. What was another Hero doing here?

"Such a gentleman," Monstrosity said, stretching a little as he slipped out. He closed his eyes against the breeze for a moment and sucked in a deep breath.

"Mm. It's rained recently."

"Unfortunately, yes," Petra said. "Come on, let's see what you make of it."

She slipped sideways through a gap between the crumbling walls, avoiding looking to her left as she came into the "inside" of the building. As she entered, the two men at the center of the ruins looked at her--one short, mustached, and in a suit and the other in sweats and muscle shirt with the caption "Athletics Check" over a 20-sided dice, piles of long blond hair cascading out of his half ponytail and down his back.

"Detective Valero. Prophet." She acknowledged the blond with a short nod.

“Heeey, Sentencer!” Prophet beamed, clapping an arm around her shoulders and shaking her playfully. "Accolade told me you'd be slinking around the scene at some point today, but I thought by this point we'd missed you!"

Petra grimaced but before she could speak, Monstrosity bumped against her back.

Prophet leaned around her. "Is that--"

"Oh, it's future boy!" Monstrosity pointed.

"Er...it's Prophet."

"Right, right, right, visions and predicting stuff and all that. Isn't your deal predicting bad things before they happen? How is that going to work for you when you're here post-crime?

Prophet turned his gaze back to Petra. "What's he doing here?"

"Orders from Accolade. He's consulting."

"Why?"

"Because this wasn't a regular murder."

"Well, yeah that's why they call us. That doesn't mean--"

"Prophet," she interrupted, voice cold. "You follow your orders and I'll follow mine. Is that clear?"

He flinched. For a moment, she could see the thoughts running through his eyes, deciding whether her words held power or were merely convincing.

"Right," he finally said and stepped back a couple paces. “Um…I've been trying to read the scene, for an hour now. But, uh, the future keeps looping in on itself. I just keep seeing…”

He motioned to the Petra’s left and she finally allowed herself to turn fully toward it. It had been worse last night before all the pieces had been collected, but once again she was taken aback by the sheer breadth of the gore.

Nearly the entire wall was stained with a rusty splatter that extended onto the edge of the adjacent wall and the undersides of the dewy grass blades growing at the base.

Monstrosity stepped forward, cocking his head a little. “This blood spray is massive. What? Did your victim explode?”

Petra shot him a look. “Yes.”

#hero x villain #creative writing #heroes and villains #heroes and villains community #writblr #hero x villain community #crime fiction #investigation #writeblr #superhero fiction #stoic x flirty #slow burn

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bloby-876 · 2 days ago

Text

This is actually so dialogue heavy be warned.

---

"Im leaving Camelot."

Arthur nearly chokes on his wine and Gwen openly gapes at him.

Merlin laughs lightly at the look on their faces and Gwen's heart melts just a bit because how long has it been since they truly spent a moment together?

He stood in front of their table and Arthur took a moment to look, really look, at Merlin. His eyes were dark and his shoulders were broader compared to when he first came to Camelot. His smile was something Arthur hardly got to see anymore. And as Arthur processed the weight of Merlin's words, a sick feeling of dread slowly began building up somewhere in his heart.

"What? How- What brought this on, Merlin?" Gwen spoke, her voice quivering slightly. Arthur knew that she was likely fiddling with a ring on her finger, a nervous habit she picked up from him.

"I-" Merlin hesitated. One of his hands grasped at his forearm nervously. He looked like he might tear up. "I don't know what to do with myself now."

He locked eyes with Arthur.

"Ever since I first came to Camelot, I've lived in constant paranoia. I could never fully trust any friends I made for fear of the pyre. And- and when you started changing into this-," Merlin gestured to Arthur, "-this selfless, kind, brave king- I did everything I could to protect that. When you started courting Gwen, I did all that I could because I wanted you two be happy. It changed me, Arthur."

They knew about Merlin's magic but he had never truly told them about what Merlin had gone through throughout the years. They were stuck feeling helpless as the light slowly drained from his eyes, doing whatever they could but it never felt like enough.

He went on explaining.

"I turned into a weapon. My hands are stained with the blood of hundreds and yet it never mattered to me as long as you were both safe. But- when you stopped needing me?" Tears were flowing down his pale cheeks as he wiped them helplessly. Gwen got up immediately, rushing to wipe at them with a handkerchief. Arthur was right behind her, a hand on both gwen and Merlin's shoulders.

"I don't know what to do with myself. Gaius has a new physician's apprentice who's way better at medicine than I am, you and Arthur have George, Morgana is an excellent court sorceress, and I'm still here."

Arthur wanted to interrupt. It pained him, more than anything, to hear Merlin talk like that about himself. Like there was no worth in him other than how well he could serve others.

Gwen cried quietly. She had been so busy with learning the inner workings of court life that she missed how her best friend has been feeling.

"Merlin-"

"I need to find myself Arthur, Gwen. And- I can't do that here anymore." He looked so pained as he spoke. Gwen knew how selfish of her it would be to ask him to stay anyway but she wanted to, so badly. And she ached.

"..Okay," the king started, "if that is what you believe is best. But Merlin-"

"You will always, always have a place in Camelot. And I'm so sorry we ever made you feel like you didn't." Her voice came out strong, for she knew that Merlin needed something more, and neither the king nor queen could provide that anymore.

Arthur let his tears fall openly now, and he tightened his hold on them both, on his most precious people, the two who taught him to be better, to truly be a king. He loved them both so, so much. And his heart hurt with how badly he never wanted to let go.

And the three stayed there for a long while, weeping together. Eventually Merlin had to leave. Arthur resisted the urge to pull him back.

And Gwen couldn't see him off at the courtyard properly because she knew she would crack, beg him to stay, apologize a thousand times. And she didn't because she knew that Merlin would.

So when he left and long after they lost sight of his horse and lantern, they stayed by the window. Eventually, Gwen let out a sob and rushed into Arthur's arms. She mourned and cried and sobbed as loud as she needed and pretended like she couldn't feel a patch on her shoulder getting wet.

They fell asleep with heavy hearts and the knowledge of a ring on Arthur's desk that will never meet its intended hand, a third of a coin on a braided necklace that will never be accepted, a speech meticulously planned to ask him to stay with the two forever, to rule alongside them.

Perhaps a lot of things were left unsaid.

---

AAASJEHAIDBOS S

I read pt. 1 of @mysticsublimeperson's mergwenthur au a lonng time ago and this thing has been running around in my head ever since.

#mergwenthur #merlin #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #bbc arthur #merlin fic #fic ideas #bbc guinevere #bbc morgana #bbc gwen #merlin bbc #merlin emrys #MY HEART #merthur #Mergwen

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