#i've been super productive today so far though

[ourceliumnetwork]

well.

i'm the only person in the house without COVID so far.

never felt like a final girl in a horror movie before, not sure how i feel about it now lol

[milkman-zahhak]

Cal and Leo ~ Christmas special + animated gif

+ A little masterpost here for the stories I've written for them so far if you want to read more about these two and their lore:

- Part 1 - Part 2 (prequel to part 1) (think of it like a flashback scene, seen as Leo and Cal drift asleep in part 1) - Part 3 (sequel to part 1) . . . - Halloween Special PART 1 - Halloween Special PART 2 - Christmas Special <-(you are here)

Sorry for the wait, I know it's way past christmas at this point, but it's done nonetheless. I've been browsing the blogs of some of my mutuals and tried to add in some stuff I saw you guys were into as well,, a little bit here and there... It's quick, but here's the drawing GIF to go along with it, as promised. I hope tumblr doesnt mess up the quality- not that there's much there in the first place:

^^^ It's a belly capacity comparison.

Leo you've been stuffing for hours, show me the product! OUH, ope, no,, it's nice... 😬 oooh you've never looked fuller... oooh.. where were you, where were you when it was time for belly stuffing...ouu... was that like 2 plates? hey- Cal is just a sweat and a tryhard anyway, smh. 🙄 he doesn't know what he's talking about!! /ref

~

WARNING: CONTAINS BELLY FETISH STUFF, READ TAGS FOR THE WHOLE RUNDOWN! (+SAY GEXUAL PHYSICAL INTIMACY)

Anyways, here's the story, sorry its super late:

------------------------------

It was a cold northern December evening. The door opened, and Leo kicked his boots together in the doorway before taking them off and shedding multiple layers of winter-wear.

Cal watched from the couch, giving his boyfriend a moment to settle back in, knowing how much Leo hated working and needed to defrost after being out in the cold. He looked comically lanky when he took off the thick coat and snowpants, as if he were a cartoon skeleton slipping out of its skin. You’d think someone who hates being active would be a bit bigger, but no.

Cal is sure Leo's diet of absolute fuckall was the only reason he was still built like a stickbug. Not the time to share those thoughts aloud, though, so he kept his lips zipped, waiting for Leo to start the conversation instead.

Leo slumped onto the couch, "Ugh, man... today was rough." Cal shuffled closer to the blonde man, "aww, whaaat? You got that mall santa job, that sounds pretty easy. better than your usual retail stuff, right?"

Leo let out a heavy sigh. "I know, I know. But this year...it's just different. Being Santa at the mall...it's draining doing that all day." he rants, "kids piss me off, and even when the kids are polite and well-behaved, there's always some terrible parents that manage to make up for it."

Cal felt bad for Leo, but he also felt nosey. "Oooh, gotcha.. That always sucks... ... so... Anything in particular happen today?" He was bored, and ready to back his boyfriend up morally on any situation he was in, and shit-talk whatever coworker or customer Leo wanted to rant about today.

Leo paused to think, "Uhm. A few- not really. Just... I dunno, I just hate this time of year!" Cal's eyebrows raised. "Wait, what do you mean? How does one hate such a festive time of the year?"

Leo hesitated, then started to explain. "I mean...I used to not hate it, I think. But like, growing up Catholic, it was always so much pressure..." Leo hesitated, he hated talking about himself, he didn't want to bum Cal out with some pity-party about his past. "It was always such a big deal but not in a fun way, like everyone in my life would make extra sure to mention christ and his birthday and I was supposed to have fun- but not too much fun- lest I forget about it being Jesus's birthday."

Leo began to ramble, "It's like, nobody can open gifts or eat food or do anything without dickriding the lord. "oh, Leonard, sweetie, we just spent all Sunday morning talking about eternal damnation, why do you look so lethargic, God loves you and we love you- conditionally of course. Come help me make cookies for the guests and smile dammit..."" He trailed off, picking at the hem of his shirt. "That's... a stupid example, sorry, it was just what came to mind..." Leo cursed himself internally. If he was going to accidentally spill about some random-ass childhood Christmas memory, it could have at least been something worth complaining about.

There was so much more to it than being inconvenienced when he was like 8. It was a lifetime of little things building up year after year, day by day, and he didn't know how to paint an accurate picture without telling his entire life story.

It wasn't something he knew how to explain to someone, which is why he prefers not to bring it up at all.

Unfortunately, Cal is a very open person when it comes to thoughts and feelings, and sometimes ropes Leo into conversations where he ends up doing the same.

Cal was getting better at keeping some thoughts to himself though!

Mostly just the ones he thought were funny. See, Cal has a blunt sense of humor that Leo doesn't always pick up on, especially when his witty comments are directed towards Leo. It was a work in progress, baby steps, etc.

Cal nodded slowly, self-assumed understanding dawning on his face. He leaned over to place a gentle smooch on Leo's cheek. "Well, maybe we can change things up this year. Make it more about us and less about...you know. The religious stuff."

Leo's eyes widened slightly at Cal's suggestion, the thought of Christmas without the constant reminder of religion was almost foreign to him. "I don't know if that's possible," he murmured, "It's just... ingrained, it’s part of everything." Cal nodded sympathetically, "Yeah, I get it. My family wasn't super religious, but I remember the pressure to be perfect during Christmas. Like, if I messed up even a little, I thought Santa wouldn't bring me presents."

Leo chuckled. "Haha, same... but for me presents were more of an afterthought, because I was kinda busy thinking about going to hell and failing as a person whenever I messed up.."

Cal scoffed "Man, I don't think about that stuff. I mean, I knew about it, but I figured if I went to hell, I would suck up to Satan or whoever's in charge and try to get a cushy role as one of his higher-up subordinates or something. Y'know? So I'd be, like, the one who escorts the damned, or does the devil's chores or something instead of being tortured for eternity!"

Leo couldn't help but laugh at Cal's optimism, "That's... That sounds like something you would think, yes." he said with a small smile. Cal continued, "Yup, and if you ended up there too, I'd use my position and social power to make you exempt from whatever I could. Nothing is ever gonna hurt you, cutie."

"Thanks, but I'm not actually worried about Heaven or Hell or anything anymore, I don't really believe in that stuff like I used to. It's more about the memories, or maybe the traditions- but not literally traditions, more like... habits? Whatever, I still don't know how to explain it so let's just move on..." Leo sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

Cal listened intently, trying to grasp the complex web of emotions that Leo was trying to unravel. He could see the exhaustion etched on Leo's face and even though he's pretty sure he gets it, Leo always insists that there's so much more, but he can't say it right.

Cal wrapped an arm around Leo's shoulders, giving him a gentle squeeze. "It's okay, Leo. We can make our own traditions this year. Ones that don't involve religion, or anything that makes you feel all guilty. Just us, doing stuff we enjoy together."

Leo leaned into Cal's embrace, feeling a sense of relief wash over him, mostly because the conversation seemed to be finally changing topics. "That sounds nice," he admitted softly, "Really nice." Cal smiled and planted another kiss on Leo's cheek. "Good."

Cal's mind started racing with ideas, trying to fill the silence. "So, speaking of doing stuff we enjoy..." he began, "I was thinking, maybe we could decorate our place for tomorrow? Get a tree, hang lights, the works?"

Leo looked up at Cal with a raised eyebrow, "You wanna decorate?" Cal nodded eagerly, "Yeah! It'll be fun, right? We can make some hot chocolate, put on some Christmas music, and just...enjoy ourselves." Leo couldn't help but smile at Cal's childlike excitement. "Yeah, okay. Sounds good."

The next evening, Cal came home with several large bags filled with Christmas decorations. Leo sat at the table, sipping on the hot cocoa Cal had made and watching as Cal unpacked everything.

There were twinkling lights, garlands, ornaments of every color and shape, and even a beautiful star for the top of the tree. Leo couldn't help but feel a little excited himself as he looked at it all.

Cal turned to Leo, "Okay, so first things first- the tree!" He pulled out a small, artificial tree and started setting it up in the living room. Leo stood up to join him, helping Cal unravel the branches and straighten them out. Once they finished setting up the tree, Cal handed Leo a box full of ornaments. "Here, you put your nerd ones where you want and I'll do the other ones." he said with a smile.

Leo opened the box and looked inside. There were normal ornaments, but there were also ornaments of dragons, superheroes, and even some of his favorite fictional characters. He picked one up and smiled at Cal. "Dude, these are great! I didn’t know they made ornaments like this!" Cal's grin grew wider, "Yeah? I figured you'd like 'em."

They worked together in companionable silence, hanging ornaments and wrapping garland around the tree. Leo couldn't remember the last time he felt this...normal. Cal's Christmas plans were simple, but they were exactly what Leo needed to start letting go of some of the religious trauma that haunted him every holiday season. And for that, he was grateful.

As they finished decorating the tree, Cal stepped back to admire their work. "Alright, Leonard, whaddya think?"

~~~

Two days before Christmas, Cal and Leo returned home from their shopping trip, arms laden with bags of groceries. Leo struggled to balance a large turkey in one arm while juggling two bags in the other, filled with potatoes and some canned goods.

Cal followed closely behind, carrying bags filled with vegetables, cranberries, and various spices. They were determined to cook a traditional Christmas Eve feast together.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, Leo took charge. He set the turkey down on the counter with a loud thump, and started taking out the ingredients they would need. Cal watched in awe as Leo moved around the kitchen with such ease and grace.

Leo enjoyed cooking and preparing food. He always has. When he was younger, it would give him alone time away from his family while they did other Christmas preparations, and the focus and attention that's needed to properly prepare food takes his mind off of his own spiraling thoughts and existential worries for a while.

Cal was more into what happens after the food is made, especially fancy food. Cal grew up in poverty, having to fight for scraps among his siblings. It sounds dramatic, but that's just life for the lower class. He rarely ate anything of quality nor quantity. Luckily, Cal has been able to make up for those lost meals as an adult, and then some. That being said, most of what he would eat was what he was used to- quick processed pitiful excuses for meals- if he somehow had the money. He was never one to spend time cooking or baking.

Cal could tell that Leo was trying to hide his frustration at having to explain every step to him while he helped with his parts of cooking and baking the food, but he appreciated Leo's patient instruction.

They spent hours chopping, mixing, and baking ingredients, laughing at each other's clumsiness (mostly Cal’s) and making small talk about their days. Cal couldn't remember the last time he enjoyed cooking so much. It was kinda fun when it was with Leo!

After some trial and error, they finally managed to put together a delicious spread of roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, homemade rolls and a pumpkin pie for dessert. Store-bought cider was even available as a refreshment if water got too boring.

Leo's baking skills truly shone through with the pumpkin pie, Cal thinks. The sweet aroma filled the apartment, making it feel warm and welcoming despite the chilly winter air outside.

Cal couldn't resist stealing a taste of the leftover filling when Leo wasn't looking, earning him a playful swat on the hand and a stern "You'll spoil your dinner!" from Leo. Cal giggled, "You'd like that, though, wouldn't you."

Leo shook his head playfully.

Yeah, he probably would like that.

~

There was a festive atmosphere in the small apartment as they set the dining table. Leo had insisted on using their best plates and silverware, despite Cal's protests that it wasn't necessary.

Leo promised he would do the dishes though if they did, so Cal caved.

The warm light from the Christmas tree in the living room twinkled off the cutlery, the table was filled with the delicious food they had prepared together, and the air was thick with anticipation to enjoy all of it.

As they sat down to eat, Cal took a deep breath, savoring the delicious smells surrounding them. "Leo, this looks amazing," he said sincerely, "Thank you for doing this with me." Leo smiled softly, "Thank you for wanting to. I forgot how nice some traditions can actually be, I think." They clinked glasses of sparkling cider and dug in, enjoying the fruits of their labor.

Cal ate his fill, making sure to sample everything at least once before pigging out on his favorites.

Throughout the meal, Cal also made sure to compliment Leo on his cooking skills, trying to boost his confidence. He watched Leo's cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and pleasure, and it made him happy to see Leo happy. Cal couldn't remember the last time he felt this content. The food was delicious, and the company was even better. They talked about everything and anything, laughing and joking as usual, but it felt extra special and festive tonight.

When they finished eating, Cal couldn't help but notice that Leo had hardly touched his food. Concerned, he asked, "Is everything okay?"

Leo nodded, "Yeah, I guess I'm just not that hungry." Cal's heart ached for him, he couldn't help but notice Leo's lack of appetite.

Leo normally didn’t eat much, but this was odd, even for him.

He figured Leo's past was still haunting him, even during such a joyous occasion. Maybe he’s not used to having so much food all to himself?

Cal used to feel that way, and then one thing led to another once he started living alone, and it was like a dam had burst. Not being hungry felt so fucking amazing, and feeling full was so new and foreign to him, and boy did he really enjoy it.

He had an online channel where he would post videos of him eating as much as physically possible for a while, and down the line that ended up opening the door for him and Leo to become more than just friends in a financially-necessary living agreement… Thinking back to the movie night incident where they had revealed their kinks to each other, Leo said he didn’t think he was into stuffing himself, but he also said he’d never really tried. And hey, Cal didn’t know he was into it before he tried….

With a gentle smile, Cal leaned back, sighing. He'd eaten enough to be... not hungry, that's for sure. Definitely nowhere near full, especially not by his standards, but he was taking it easy for tonight. Besides, he has to save some food, that way he has leftovers to eat tomorrow on christmas eve.

Cal burps, as politely as he can, and leans forward, "*urp*.. You know, Leo, I've always wondered 'bout something." Leo looked up at him curiously, "Yeah?"

Cal smirked, "How much can you actually fit in that cute little belly of yours?"

It was a topic they had touched upon before in a joking manner, but this time, there was a hint of seriousness in Cal's tone. Leo's eyes widened in surprise before he let out a soft chuckle. "Not much, not as much as you, that's for sure, haha." he admitted, "I guess.. I dunno, unlike you I've never really tried to test my limits."

Cal nodded thoughtfully. "Well.. maybe it's time you did?" he suggested softly, sweetly.

Leo froze for a moment, the suggestion catching him by surprise. "What uh.. what do you mean?" he asked hesitantly.

Cal replied, his voice dropping to a more serious, but still caring tone, "You seem kinda like... I can tell you're stressing in your head about stuff, and you pretty much did all the cooking yourself too!.. And you haven’t really eaten that much, even though you did all that, and.. I was thinking.. maybe we could like, switch things up? Let me take care of you tonight, Leo. Let me help you forget about everything else and just...enjoy, y'know..?"

Leo blushed slightly at Cal's words, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. He knew that Cal was right, that he needed to let go and relax, but like this?

Cal had done so much kinky stuff for Leo, it’s about time he did something for Cal in return anyway.

…After a moment of contemplation, Leo nodded slowly. "Alright, Cal.. I'll give it a try." Leo took a deep breath and started loading his plate with more food than he usually would.

Cal watched Leo's determined expression with a soft smile, proud of him for taking the first step. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he also knew how much Leo needed a change of pace. They continued to talk about some current events and laugh, trying to keep things interesting.

Leo began to eat. It was difficult to just keep eating, because he felt full somewhat quickly after the first plate, but he pushed through, wanting to prove to Cal - and maybe himself - that he could do it.

Cal offered him encouragement and teased him gently, making him giggle between bites.

Leo could get used to this. He prefers being on the other end of things, but this was hot too so far. Who doesn’t like feeling nice and warm and full?

As the meal went on, Leo found himself struggling to keep up. He was used to watching Cal’s stuffings, but actually doing it himself was a different experience entirely.

Cal noticed Leo's discomfort, but also saw the determination in his eyes. He decided to take it slow and make sure Leo was okay every step of the way. "Hey, Leo.. take your time, don't push yourself too hard"

Leo nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Yeah, hah… I’ve been wolfing this down pretty fast huh.”

Cal snickered, “Remember, it's not a race, bud!”

As Leo continued eating, his stomach started to protest. Intermittent bubbly sounds came from within his increasingly overfull tummy.

ggrrllp.. glp… grrluuRRp…. rrrlghh.. “Hnng…”

He wasn't used to consuming so much food at once, and it was beginning to show.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his face wrinkling as cramps started to form in his stomach. Despite the discomfort, Leo pushed forward, wanting to prove to Cal - and definitely himself - that he could do this.

He hunched over before quickly straightening back up, as if hunching over only made the feeling worse, and he let out a soft whimper, which caught Cal's attention immediately.

Cal's expression turned concerned when his boyfriend’s face seemed to indicate that it wasn’t a good whimper, "Leo, are you okay?" he asked. Leo nodded, trying to downplay the pain. "I'm fine, I just.. It hurts, up here," he admitted sheepishly, motioning towards the area above his belly button.

Leo was thin, and his belly wasn't used to being so stretched. His shirt was still fitting almost just as it was before, but his stomach was hard and tight to the touch, and a small but noticeable lump was visible beneath his shirt.

Leo's voice was filled with a mixture of pain and desperation as he described his feelings to Cal. His stomach felt heavy and clogged, like a rock weighing him down. Leo had now resorted to nibbling slowly at a single forkful of the pie.

He couldn't help but let out small moans of discomfort as he tried to adjust his position. No matter how he sat, he still felt a tight, stinging, bloated feeling in his overstuffed belly.

The cramps were becoming more frequent and intense, but strangely enough, Leo still found himself getting… somewhat turned on by the situation, he guesses...

The sensation of fullness was foreign and uncomfortable, but the idea of Cal being so proud of him was making him feel things he couldn't quite put into words- figuratively and literally.

Finally unable to bear it any longer, Leo pushed his plate away and both hands flew to his middle, grasping and clutching right below his chest, feeling the strange new difference in the area where his stomach began to protrude outwards. "Cal.. ugh.. u-unf...." he groaned, his eyes pleading for relief. "It hurts.. my belly, I can't- I dunno how you do it..."

Cal felt a surge of desire for a moment, but he could see the genuine pain in Leo's eyes, and knowing that ruined any enjoyment he would have had otherwise listening to Leo’s whines.

He got up from his own seat and carefully placed his hand on Leo's hard, distended belly, rubbing circles gently. Leo's breath caught in his throat at the sensation. He leaned back into Cal's touch, letting out a soft whine. "I've never eaten so much at once.. oh my god.. hic..." he mumbled, his eyes closing halfway.

Cal chuckled softly at Leo's futile attempt at a stuffing, unable to help himself.

He knew how much of a challenge this was for him, though. Seeing Leo so squirmy and his belly so swollen was arousing, but seeing him in pain wasn't something Cal wanted.

He moved closer, taking Leo's hand in his other and interlacing their fingers together. He leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to Leo's forehead. "It's okay, babe. You don't have to force yourself. We can try again some other day if you want to." he said reassuringly. He knew how hard this was for Leo, and he didn't want to push him too far. “Do you feel like you’re gonna be sick?”

Leo tried to answer between breathless groans “unngh… no.. n-nhmm.. Maybe? I feel more like my stomach- ngh! I know it's not but.. urgh, feels like.. t-the skin’s gonna rip open.. ‘n pop…” Since Cal was already rubbing Leo’s belly, Leo’s hands were desperately gripping and palming his own chest as he spoke, as if trying to contribute whatever he could on just the off-chance that it might help him feel better.

As Leo squirmed in his seat, Cal's eyes widened slightly when he thought of something that might help.

He could guess from the description as well as the look on Leo's face, the subtle movements and ways he kept shifting in his seat, that maybe he was struggling with gas pain.

He leaned in, kissing Leo's cheek, then moving over a bit and momentarily taking his hands off of Leo’s aching belly. His lips brushing against Leo's ear, "D’you want me to help you out, Leo? I think I have an idea.." he whispered seductively.

Leo's eyes snapped open at that, and he nodded frantically. He trusted Cal, and he knew he wouldn't judge him, hell, he's the one he's doing all this for.

Besides, he needed help. Badly.

Cal smiled and moved behind Leo, reaching around the back of the chair again and placing both of his hands on either side of Leo's belly. He began to massage him gently, deliberately pushing into certain places, trying to coax out any trapped air bubbles.

Leo's tummy wasn't as big as Cal's usually got, since Leo wasn't used to stretching out his stomach. Not to mention it took significantly less food to fill him up to the gills.

But for someone of Leo's capacity and (in)experience, it was clear that he'd genuinely pushed himself, this was no act.

“I’m so.. eugh… it hurts, it h- the cramps..” Leo whined miserably

“Fuck, it’s like.. it’s all stuck.. mmhmmfuck!…. My guts.. I can't move my body or bend anywhere, it hurts, oh my god, ugh.. B-Breathing in hurts..” Leo tried to breathe steadily, struggling to fully inhale, which made him even more panicked.

Cal could feel Leo's stomach expanding and contracting beneath his hands as the meal tried to digest, the trapped air tried to escape. It was moving a little bit, but obviously to Leo’s discomfort.

"Just breathe, Leo.. Let it out slowly, just focus on breathing in and out slowly, small breaths, okay?" Cal coaxed, his voice low and soothing. Leo nodded, taking small, but focused breaths as Cal continued to massage him, each exhale coming out as more of a strained moan.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Leo let out a short silent puff of a burp, one that seemed to surprise him coming up, as he flinched during its release.

*uuhh-hhhr* …

Cal wanted to make fun of Leo for his body's weird way of burping, it was hilarious to him, but.. He figured he could save it for later, instead, just being happy that Leo is burping at all for now.

"There ya go, feel any better?" he cooed affectionately as stood behind Leo's chair and continued rubbing his belly for him. Leo grunted halfheartedly. “Maybe?...”

Leo's face scrunched up in concentration as he attempted to expel more gas, his stomach still rumbling and gurgling uncomfortably. This went on for a good 8 to 10 minutes with no significant resolution.

But eventually his stomach bubbled so loudly that both of them could hear it, and both of them froze up. Leo sighed with relief as he felt everything suddenly shift downwards.

He could literally hear the gas bubbles and mush of what he'd eaten traveling deeper into his guts- It was kind of gross, but his stomach felt less tight. “Ohhh, oh my god, did you hear that? it-” he exclaimed, but before he could finish, Leo felt an intense pressure at his body’s backdoor.

He didn’t even realize it was happening at first, but a long, hot, silent fart hissed as it escaped through his cheeks. It was like someone opened the lip of a full balloon and let all the air pour out.

*phhfrrrrrrrshrhhpt…. fshhhh~hhhhhssssss…*

It smelled like actual shit, and even Leo himself quickly covered his nose with his sleeve.

Cal began to laugh, but quickly covered his mouth and nose with both his hands and coughed, “o- *cough* oh my god, dude..”

Leo was frozen in his seat for a minute, worryingly checking below himself making sure he didn’t let anything else go- he didn’t think he did, but he also didn't think he was going to fart like that either. Thankfully, it actually was just really rank air.

Leo was the first to speak up a few moments after the air cleared, “I feel like, 10 pounds lighter, that was insane..” He slumped back in the chair, now able to do so without searing cramps.

His stomach feels ever so slightly less tight from the outside too, as if it had deflated a little.

"Cal... I don't know how.. you do this so easily," he groaned deliriously, his cheeks flushing further at the thought of what he'd just done.

The fart was a huge relief as most of the air in his intestines seemed to be released, but he was still full of food and whatever was in his upper stomach. "I ate like... almost hic two plates of turkey.. So much mashed potatoes.. oooohhh, the sides too... were all so good, but I can't.." Leo let out another small, soundless burp. "*uhp*.. I feel so full... so stuffed." He squirmed in his seat.

Cal couldn't help but grin at Leo's words, knowing just how little food that really was compared to what he could consume.

But seeing Leo like this, so vulnerable and needy, while it was incredibly hot, now is not the time to be showing off your capacity, he can save that for another time when Leo is the one feeding him.

"It takes practice, babe. You'll get there eventually- if you want to of course." he said encouragingly. Leo responded very quickly, "I don't think I do."

Cal snickered. His fingers continued to massage Leo's tight belly, feeling each individual rumble beneath the surface, and how bloated his lower tummy was getting again as the next round of food patiently waited its turn to move to his intestines.

Leo's discomfort seemed to grow, but Cal knew that with some time, patience, and encouragement, he'd be able to work through it. He hoped Leo knew that too.

"Let's try something else," Cal suggested, after a moment. He leaned down and pressed another kiss to the top of Leo's head. "You did so well, now you just gotta rest. Why don't we take this to the couch? It'll be more comfortable for you to relax there."

Leo hesitated for a second, knowing that standing up would mean jostling his overfull stomach. He looked at Cal, his eyes wide and pleading, unsure if he could manage it. But the thought of relief was too enticing to completely ignore. "Cal... I can barely sit here without feeling like I'm gonna explode, I don't know if I'll make it to the couch in one piece- heh.. One Piece.."

While Leo complained, Cal had taken a hold of Leo from under his armpits, lifting him up out of his chair. "Come on, I've got you," he reassured, helping Leo stand up carefully.

Leo let out a small gasp as his belly shifted heavily, the movement sending new waves of discomfort and slight nausea throughout his body. Cal kept his hand firmly on Leo's lower back, supporting him as he wobbled slightly on unsteady legs. They made their way towards the couch, Cal guiding him with gentle encouragement.

Once again, Cal internally found it very amusing that Leo seemed so off-balance and disoriented.

Cal usually had an actual ball-belly to deal with after a stuffing, physically putting off his center of balance.

But Leo, even at his fullest right now, didn't have more than a small bump. …He didn't doubt that Leo probably felt bigger than he looked, though.

As they finally reached the couch, Cal helped Leo lay down on his side, propping a few pillows behind him to make sure he stayed in a comfortable position. Leo let out a relieved sigh, but the relief was short-lived.

Cal settled next to Leo on the couch, continuing to massage his bloated tummy with slow, soothing circles. He knew just how badly Leo wanted to burp or fart to find some relief, and the anticipation was making the atmosphere in the room thick with tension, mostly for Leo.

While Cal would usually be blasting from both ends, if anything he would be struggling to release air fast enough to keep up with whatever was being produced inside his body, Leo's stomach didn't seem to know what to do in such a situation.

Leo’s guts seemed to take their sweet time moving his meal around his body, making sure whatever came before it was completely done and empty before moving on.

It also seemed to release everything in one single movement if it could, instead of periodically along the way, bit by bit.

So everything would build up, each step in the digestion process trying to single handedly take care of everything Leo had so hastily eaten before letting it move along, so he couldn’t force anything out, or really will anything to move any further along than it was.

Leo's breath hitched every so often as he tried to release some gas, his face contorting in desperation. Leo's face would scrunch up in pure agony as he fought against his body, desperately trying to release some of the pressure building inside him.

After what felt like an eternity, his body finally gave way again.

With an almost audible 'pop', his ass released a long, slow fart that lasted a good four seconds. It was just like the first one, silent in terms of a fart, but they could both hear a sort of ffffshhhhhh.

The relief that washed over Leo was anything but quiet. He stayed tense a few seconds after it was over, but then immediately went limp and moaned, a mix between pleasure and pain. "Oooouuhh fuck, I needed that..."

His belly was still disgustingly full, but for a moment he felt relief as he was able to get rid of some gas.

He looked up at Cal through half-lidded blue eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. He knew he looked ridiculous, but he didn't care. All that mattered was that he'd managed to let something out.

Cal couldn't help but stare at Leo's belly as it deflated slightly from the release, his own cock twitching in his pants at the sight. He could only imagine how relieving that must feel for Leo. Lots of buildup, huge payoff.

He loved watching him like this- he loved seeing Leo in pleasure. It was like a drug, and Cal was hopelessly addicted. Unfortunately, the smile faded as the relief did, and Leo’s stomach went back to working on whatever was next on the metaphorical conveyor belt of slop to digest.

Leo didn’t look like he was really enjoying the situation as a whole, just the small moments whenever the pressure was reduced.

Cal leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Leo's cheek before moving his hand to rest on Leo's tummy again, this time reaching up under his shirt. He wants to try and make Leo feel good somehow.

Leo's face flushed brighter, but he didn't pull away from Cal's touch. Instead, he leaned into it slightly, enjoying the feeling of Cal's hand on his skin. He let out another silent puff of a burp, followed by a tiny fart. This time audible, but squeaky, small, and useless. "It’s rumbly again…" he admitted quietly.

Leo's body shook as he continued to try and expel gas, his tummy rumbling and protesting against the external coercion of the contents within it.

He groaned as he pushed, trying to force air out any way he could. He knew that he needed to let some of this pressure go, but it seemed like no matter how hard he tried, nothing would come out. He felt Cal's hand move slowly across his stomach, feeling the movement of food sloshing around inside.

Cal's touch sent shivers down his spine. It was becoming more and more apparent to Leo that he should leave the stuffing to Cal, but while he's in this situation anyway, he wants to at least try and make himself burp or something.

He clenched up, preparing to burp again, but it was quickly followed by a gurgling sound from deep in his belly. "Ugh.. It's all moving around.." Leo moaned, "It feels like it's trying to digest.. like it's all mixing.."

Cal's brown eyes glinted mischievously as he leaned down to whisper in Leo's ear. "Yyyep. That's the food moving through you, babe. Your poor little tummy is working hard." He nipped at Leo's earlobe a little as he kissed the side of his neck, enjoying the way he squirmed beneath his touch.

Leo groaned again, this time more from arousal than discomfort. The thought of Cal touching him up, kissing and nuzzling into his face and neck from beside him, rubbing his belly.. he was being so.. so TOUCHED. Which was hot to him no matter what. He felt his cock twitch against his pants.

"Cal..." He breathed out, his eyes pleading.

Cal's fingers danced lightly over Leo's belly button, feeling the way it dipped in and out as Leo tried to burp again. "Okay, hold on- just relax, babe. Let it happen naturally. I cant keep kissing on ya if you keep clenching up and moving around, right?.." He said softly.

Leo let out another sigh, but followed Cal's advice. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, trying to ignore the discomfort in favor of the warmth of Cal's hands.

After a few moments, he felt a bubble forming in his stomach, moving its way upwards.

He opened his mouth and let it escape, releasing a soft burp that sounded like *hup*. It wasn't much, but it helped. There was still a bit more on its way.

Finally, Leo let out a proper burp.

It was loud, and it rumbled deep in his chest, coming out with a satisfying *UUuuorrrrpP*.

His eyes widened as he felt the relief flood through him just from hearing such a sound come out of his own mouth, and his cock hardened even more against his pants.

Burping and listening to how people in his videos would burp was always something that turned him on, and the fact that he had done it after such a struggle only amplified the sensation tenfold.

He groaned softly, his body tensing as he tried to control his arousal.

"Oh my god.." Leo breathed out, eyes wide with excitement, "Holy shit, finally! I’ve never been able t- that's like the first time in forever that I've actually burped like that!.." The release of air felt like heaven, not to mention the fact that he actually managed to somehow burp all loud like a normal person for once.

He couldn't help but arch his back slightly as he let out another smaller burp. "fuck..." He muttered somewhat dissappointingly, looking down at his crotch, where a visible bulge was forming.

Cal grinned, watching Leo's body's reaction with delight, seeing his boyfriend genuinely turned on like this. Jackpot!

Leo's breath hitched as Cal's hand began to roam lower, tracing the outline of Leo's erection through his jeans.

Leo shifted uncomfortably as Cal continued to massage his stomach, feeling another burp build up inside of him.

He hoped it would make a sound like that other one.

Leo didn't like being this full - it was hot seeing other people like this, but there was no pleasure in the discomfort here for him personally. But he couldn't deny that the act of burping - finally being able to release some of that trapped air - was turning him on, so the situation was somewhat salvageable.

Cal noticed the change in Leo's demeanor and took this as an opportunity, reaching down from Leo's belly and rubbing one of his hands against the top of Leo's leg. "Does it feel good when you finally get one out?" He asked, amused.

Leo could only nod. Cal leaned down to nuzzle his neck, kissing lightly at the sensitive skin, making sure Leo could hear each smooch. Leo whined softly as he felt Cal's hot breath against his ear. “I’ve never heard you burp like that before, you almost sounded like me.. almost..”

Cal sat continued to work on Leo's stomach, to manipulate it to get the reactions he wanted, sitting beside him and rubbing, pressing, and pushing air up and out instead of just soothing him or helping it digest.

He could feel the tension building up inside his boyfriend once again, ready for another release. "C'mon babe, let it out for me." He coaxed, pressing his other hand into Leo’s crotch, taking hold of what he could through the denim and giving it a light squeeze.

Leo's entire body jerked forward as another burp erupted from his lips - this one was short, but it made a burp sound, which was enough for Leo right now.

"*URrp* Fuck.. Cal.." He moaned, his hips shifting involuntarily, his hardening cock rubbing against the fabric of his underwear beneath his pants.

Cal's own arousal was growing by the second, listening to Leo's desperate sounds and feeling him writhe beneath his touch.

He slipped both of his hands under Leo's shirt now, running his fingers across his sensitive skin. Leo gasped, arching his back again.

"You like that? I bet'cha feel good getting that out huh.. Let me distract you from your bellyache for a while.." Cal mewled, teasing Leo's nipples a little bit. He could feel exactly where his usually almost concave stomach now bulged out below his ribcage.

Leo nodded frantically, unable to form coherent words. The touch and feel of his heavier partner leaning into him was driving him wild.

Cal chuckled softly at Leo's response, leaning in even closer to press yet another gentle kiss against his cheek. "That's my good boy," he whispered, his hands still massaging Leo's chest rather than his stomach.

He knew how much Leo loved praise, and even though he could tell stuffing himself wasn't exactly his thing, he wanted to make sure Leo knew that Cal still appreciated the effort.

Leo let out a small whine as one of Cal's hands trailed downwards from his chest, his breaths coming out shallow and quick, but not because of gas pains this time.

He could feel his belly rolling and shifting under Cal's palm, and even though it was uncomfortable, he tried to focus on the sensation of being touched like this instead.

Cal repositioned himself, gently rotating and then lowering Leo backwards, hovering atop him, then laying down beside him longways on the couch.

He held the blonde boy close, not wanting either of them to fall off.

As Cal spooned Leo, one hand on one of his nipples and the other rubbing his belly, letting his hand slip generously low, so that Leo's belly wasn't the only thing being rubbed.

Cal hoped Leo was as turned on as he was.

Going by the rigidity he felt when his hand rubbed Leo's crotch, it seemed to be the case.

Leo's stomach gurgled loudly, a slow, low rumble that made him wince..

Cal was quick to begin comforting and distracting him from it. "You're such a trooper," Cal murmured, his voice husky with arousal, "Trying new things for me.. I love you sooooo much... this was good, 'cause now we know that you're gonna stick to feeding... or maybe some kind of bloating- something that makes you burp without upsetting your belly?...." Cal caught himself rambling and cut himself off.

"Uh, forget that right now. I'm just brainstorming." His lips moved to Leo's neck, nibbling and sucking on it gently as his hands continued to roam.

The words sent a shiver down Leo's spine regardless of what was being said, and he turned his head to try and get a better look at Cal.

He couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth despite the discomfort. "I-I'll try anything once.." Leo managed to say between gasps, another burp bubbling up deep inside of him.

Cal chuckled again, completely turning Leo around towards him to capture his lips in a kiss. It started slow and gentle, but soon turned heated. Before either of them could pull away, the aforementioned gas came rushing up and out of Leo's mouth. Another burpy-sounding burp, but somewhat muffled...

Because Cal's mouth was on his.

Leo pulled away from the kiss abruptly, cheeks flushing as he realized what had happened. "Oh shit, Cal! I'm s-sorry..." He began to apologize, but Cal only smiled wider and pulled him back in for another kiss, cutting him off.

Leo was visibly embarrassed but.. Cal's enthusiasm made it hard for him to stay that way.

As they continued making out, Leo couldn't help but notice that his belly seemed to be settling a bit. He was certainly still very full, but it didn't hurt as bad, he just felt heavy.

Maybe the burping was helping more than he thought. Or maybe it was just Cal's touch successfully distracting him.

He couldn't decide which felt better right now, and didn’t really care either.

Cal's hands never stopped roaming Leo's body, massaging his stomach gently now and again to coax out any shy bubbles.

Most of the time Cal just let his own belly squish against Leos, it was inevitable in their position anyways. Leo found himself relaxing into it, letting out soft moans, wrapping his legs around Cal’s to squish himself even further into the man’s softer and more pillowy stomach, feeling it against his own sore, rookie tummy.

They rolled around together on the couch, their bodies pressed against each other as they explored each other's mouths with their tongues, and bodies with their hands.

Eventually, Leo felt another burp building up inside him, but he tried to suppress it this time. However, Cal seemed determined to draw it out of him.

He pressed his lips firmly against Leo's, his tongue sweeping into the thinner man's mouth, and Leo couldn't help but relax. The burp slipped out, echoing through both of their mouths.

Cal moaned softly, and Leo could feel the vibration of it against his lips. It was such an odd sensation, but also strangely erotic.

Leo couldn't believe Cal was actually enjoying that.. but alas, he was.

He imagined himself in Cal's position, which was infinitely more arousing. Thinking about being in the opposite role made his cock throb within the confines of his increasingly tight and increasingly moist pants.

Leo's initial arousal wasn't necessarily stemming from the pressure of his overfilled stomach, rather the fact that he was able to actually burp for once. This was a rare occurrence for him, one he didn't know how to manually replicate without forcing himself into such an uncomfortable state.

Leo couldn't believe how turned on he was getting right now, especially considering his discomfort. But the mixture of Cal's praise, touch, and the sensations he was feeling now made it impossible for him to resist.

He's really trying to savor the good parts. Like how each burp brought with it a wave of relief that he could feel AND hear as it left him.

And the fact that Cal seemed to be enjoying it only added fuel to the fire burning inside him.

Leo's hands grasped small fistfuls of Cal's shirt as he felt himself getting closer to the edge, the tension coiling inside him was too much to handle. "fu- oh fuck, I'm close!..."

He breathed heavily, arching against Cal's touch, "uhnn.. Cal, pleasegofaster, hah~harder, f-hurry...." his voice trailed off at the end until he was whispering a garbled variation of "faster" and "gonna cum" with each exhale.

Cal nodded wordlessly, trying to comply with his lover's request. He quickly unbuttoned Leo’s pants and reached into them. His hand pressed harder into the outline of Leo's hard cock, applying just the right amount of pressure, trying to squeeze and grasp it as best he could through his underwear with each tug.

Leo was doing some work of his own, forcefully grinding and thrusting into and against Cal's hand.

The inside of Leo's underwear near the tip of his cock was slick with precum making it all the more satisfying (and all the less difficult) to feel the fabric rub against his dick, the damp heat trapped inside under the layers of his clothes.

The pressure inside Leo grew, building with each thrust. He could feel his climax approaching like a freight train, his entire body tensing as he struggled to contain himself. "Cal... fuck.. fuck.." Leo moaned again, louder this time, his voice desperate and embarrassing, "c-cumming.. ah- I-I'm gonnacum!~"

Leo's entire body went rigid, his back arching against the back cushions of the couch as he cried out, releasing a string of high pitched moans that were cut off almost as soon as they started by his own gasps for air.

He came hard, cum spilling into the confines of his underwear, drenching the fabric with his release.

Cal groaned into Leo's ear as he felt the hot wetness against his hand, his own arousal spiking higher. He didn't stop rubbing though, even after Leo's cock had begun to twitch and soften. He continued stickily until the last few drops were squeezed out of him and he was milked dry.

Leo was left panting, his face flushed and eyes glazed over, his body feeling heavy, but sated.

Cal pulled away from him, an uncharacteristically needy look on his face. Cal then brought his dampened hand to his own crotch, reaching into his pants and undoing them quickly with his other hand. "mmmph, Leo, your face when y- it's- you can't just..."

Cal rolled over and quickly whipped out his own dick, ensuring Leo was out of the ‘splash zone’ while he recovered from his own orgasm.

As Cal hastily brought himself to release, Leo lay panting on the couch, trying to regain control of his breathing.

The last few minutes as well as the hours prior had been intense, and he was still feeling the aftershocks of pleasure ripple through him.

At least he didn't feel like his belly was going to explode anymore.

He looked over at Cal, whose body was now facing away from him, hand working feverishly at his cock. Leo couldn't see much from this angle, but he didn't need to.

He could hear Cal's heavy breathing, and the wet sounds of his hand working against his erection- Cal was stroking himself with the same hand he had just used to rub Leo’s cumsoaked boxers. One could only guess, for maximum efficiency.

Leo felt another burp coming on, but this one was different. It wasn't forced, or painful, but rather a result of his relaxed state after cumming.

He let it out with a soft sigh, "hu-urp... uuuhp- ahh..", feeling it roll through his body one last time.

It wasn't as loud as the previous ones, it was more silent and airy like how he normally burped,, but it somehow managed to fill the room with its presence, serving as a reminder of the strange new dynamic they had just shared.

Cal's hand stilled for a brief moment, his head flopping down onto the couch, his grip on his cock tightening before he let out a loud, strained sigh. Leo could see Cal's shoulders tense, and hear the wet sounds grow faster before stopping abruptly, then continuing in slow, jerky pumps.

He also saw ropes of white sputter onto the carpet as Cal lay parallel to him, facing the outward side of the couch, panting heavily. Leo couldn't help but smile, feeling a sense of pride at having brought Cal to climax as well.

"Fuuuuuuuck.. I'll clean that don't worry," Cal started, still catching his breath, "Merry Christmas, though.. damn!" he exclaimed triumphantly, rolling back over to face Leo.

"Happy holidays to you too..." Leo replied weakly, his breath still uneven as he tried to recover from the intense release.

He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. He looked down at his damp clothes and Cal's cum splattered across the carpet and shook his head.

This wasn't exactly how he pictured spending Christmas, this was quite possibly the most Christ-less Christmas he's ever had in his life.

He reflexively began to feel bad, but the feeling never came down as hard as it usually did, maybe it was because he was looking into Cal's beautiful brown eyes, and for once, he welcomed the suffocating closeness of eye contact for a while.

He stared into Cal's eyes for a good 5-mississippis before having to look somewhere else on his face!

He’d never looked that deeply into them before, not in this light at least, because he saw hints of hazel within the smooth brown pools surrounding Cal’s iris.

For as short as those 5 seconds of prolonged eye contact may have seemed, Leo cherished and savored each one.

Leo pushed the sexual guilt down for later, as usual- but it didn't feel as urgent this time.

Like if you were to put off a specific assignment until the last day while you completed other ones, until it just makes more sense to cut your losses, count that zero into your grade, and work on other projects instead of staying up all night and stressing. Using your energy on the stuff you could actually feasibly finish instead.

But like, the good responsible mental version of that.

Having Cal made it easier for Leo to procrastinate on coming back to the guilt until he hardly had the energy to dwell on it, and by that time, he was usually having fun with his partner again anyways, focused on another activity or conversation.

In truth, he was thankful for Cal's understanding and willingness to help him explore this fetish of his, even though Leo didn't like being the one to stuff his own tummy, but hey, now they know, and they had both found a way to make it work in the end.

Leo sat up and leaned against the armrest of the couch, staring at the ceiling in silence for a moment before his stomach bubbled.

Leo's guts were different from Cal's guts in many ways, as evidenced by recent events.

Leo was unable to get a belly as easily, and there was a reason behind that called a superfast metabolism, for better or for worse. Once things were done, they were done. They were done all at once and suddenly, like they were in the earlier stages of digestion.

Stuff didn't stick around inside him to absorb and ferment like Cal, whose body adapted in his early years to savor every miniscule morsel and keep itself full for as long as possible.

Leo climbed over the armrest of the couch and stood up quickly, walking away in a rush. "Huh- hey, where're you going?" Cal asked, confused, pushing himself up to see what all the hubbub was about.

"..oh! heh." he chuckled, watching Leo as he quickly and quietly disappeared into the bathroom.

(((THE END)))

------------------------------

Thank you so much for reading, if you did read it. Comments are encouraged and appreciated, let me know what you liked and any ideas or suggestions for future writings! -

[untoldsoup]

I ONLY HAVE TEN PAGES LEFT TO DRAW.

bruh ive been so productive this vacation. Literally finishing like a page a day (8 hour drawing session days lol).

I know i know I should relax But I'm alone for the holidays rn and I can do whatever I want and that means sitting in my underwear drawing while watching yt videos on the worst xmas movies of all time lol. This is enrichment to me lol. I have issues sitting still i need to focus and do something or i will explode and rn drawing this comic has been a huge outlet for that.

I'm heading to Canada tomorrow though and I'm super excited so today is my last drawing day for the year. I'm honestly super confident now I'll have this comic update out end of January.

I cannot believe I've been able to go from so far behind to caught up. But I have just been having plenty of art time after work so I've been able to speed though things.

I am HYPED to get this update out. It's going to be INSANE. like u guys have no idea. So much going on in this chapter. Lots of crazy stuff.

So yeah Canada trip tomorrow, and then update for comic hopefully end of January.

Also, I've started to see a therapist to help with my severe anxiety over the election. I'm hoping this will help to ease my mind. I've been needing a therapist anyway. I have so many unresolved things I need to get off my chest.

I hope everyones holidays are going well, and again thanks for the support on my work! You all have no idea how much it means to me. Whenever I'm feeling down about my art, I read all the comments and tags you all have left on my story and it motivates me so much. ❤️

[dreambunnynotes]

daily reflection: nov. 16th ❤︎

good morning lovely friends! here is what i accomplished and what i could have improved today, to hold myself accountable. it was really effective for me to know that i had posted my goals list on tumblr yesterday where others could see it; whenever i felt like giving in to my adhd brain that tells me that tasks are to be feared, i would simply remember that i had kind folks online who were interested in seeing me succeed hehe, it helped me so much! here is my first day ❤︎

accomplishments:

i completed all of my cleaning goals and more! it turned into a deeper clean than i thought it would be which felt really nice (and is usually how it goes once i get cleaning). it's so lovely to be able to start fresh with a clean working and sleeping space; it's so much easier to feel inspired, be productive, and take care of yourself when your environment is as ready for you as you are for it!

i wasn't going to complete all of my texting and calling tasks, BUT I DID! these types of tasks are the hardest for me to get done because i have pretty intense social anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria, and communicating with others both online and offline takes a lot of mental preparation and energy for me. but i did it, and i am so, so proud of myself! in fact...

self-compassion:

not only did i accomplish my original communication goals, i also ended up replying to two friends i hadn't seen in a long time, even though i was anxious! both of them were at my sister's show last night and i was so surprised to see them and a couple of other friends that i had to go have a bathroom cry from the anxiety lol. i had so many emotions coming up; the first was sadness and shame seeing that they had all come in a group together and that i wasn't with them. i joined them two seconds after i saw everyone, but the sadness was still there because i was positive they would have invited me into the group earlier if i had been less isolated this last year, which is where the guilt came in. i realized i had been isolating from my friends for so long out of fear that i wasn't wanted, didn't provide anything to them, and that maybe i didn't have people i liked being around after all, but that is so, so far from the truth; i do have friends who love me and who i love, and all of them were so loving, so kind, and actually sent me messages after the show telling me how much they loved me and how happy they were to see me! it made me cryyyy and feel so many feelings. i have plans to see them next week, and i actually feel like i'm overcoming my isolation era at long last; i'm really proud of myself for having self-compassion and using tools i've learned in therapy to better my life! :')

my next step is to learn more about and overcome this shame i have around letting my friends love me for who i am; the only way to learn more about it is to actually make plans to see friends and be vulnerable; wish me luck 😭💗

improvements to make:

as for my other tasks; i cleaned out one of my emails, but i have so many email accounts that it felt a little bit lacklustre to call that an accomplishment. today i'd like to break down how big the task of consolidating my digital life will actually be so that i can take measurable and consistent steps towards completing my goal (writing that sentence is baffling me right now - bunny from a few days ago never would have realized how much writing out her goals could help her in being less afraid of them! this feels like a huge accomplishment for my adhd brain!)

today felt like a really successful day, and i'm super proud of myself! this was only the beginning of what i actually want to accomplish in a day, but it was such a great way to try it out. i'm excited to see where this journey takes me and how these daily checklists and reflections will affect my productivity; they already have helped so much! if you've made it to the end of this, thank you for taking the time to read about my day, it means so much to me! lets try our best to have another successful day! ❤︎

[abcwordsurge]

Hii!! I read your intro post and you mentioned liking Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet :D Who are your favorite characters in both and why?

Thank you ☺️

oh! this was a delightful surprise. I just updated my intro post today (well, yesterday as of posting this), and I didn't think anyone would notice haha. thank you for reading it ^_^

I absolutely love both Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet, and honestly it's nice to have an excuse to talk about them on my blog. however, since you asked specifically about favorite characters, this will inevitably be a long one. I can never get myself to shut up about characters.

my favorite Ninjago characters are Nya and Jay (and honorary mention Kai). my favorite Romeo & Juliet characters are probably Mercutio and Benvolio (but I could make a good reason for any of them to be the best haha). very long rant under cut

--

so! let's start with Nya. first, I have to point out that she was horribly mistreated in canon. it was sort of inevitable- since she was "the girl," I feel like the creators felt like a lot of her arc had to be... being the girl? I'm just still a bit disappointed at her missed potential of just, y'know, being a ninja.

that being said, she's a flipping icon and I love her with all of my heart, and every time she's on the screen it makes me smile. granted, I totally project onto her (and her brother, our favorite Kai~), but even if you ignore my personal headcanons of her being aromantic and loveless, she's such a smart, stubborn, and creative character, and I love that for her.

also Jay. I love Jay. I feel like, as a fanfic writer, I treat him the exact opposite of how I treat Nya. every time I write about Nya, I write about her experiences with being aromantic, or her desperation to prove herself, things like that. when I write about Jay, it's like Jay's in love with Cole, or Jay's in love with Nya (actually unrequited love my beloved), or Jay's in love with Kai. (side note- I actually headcanon Kai as aromantic, too, but sometimes I put that headcanon on pause so I can ship him. because oh my god he has such cute ships.) anyway all this to say that Jay's an adorable goofy little guy and I like putting him in situations. (he also has massive angst potential but angst isn't really my forte.)

ok. Romeo & Juliet. before I get into specifics, I must say that the characterization in this play is criminally underrated. if it were released today, it would have leagues of fans obsessing over both Romeo and Juliet, and arguing over whether Romeo is a romantic or just an idiot, and getting into shipping wars (especially Benvolio/Mercutio vs Tybalt/Mercutio- though Bencutio is obviously superior). the fact that it only has 2000 fics on AO3 is a tragedy to rival, well, Romeo & Juliet.

(also- for my WttT followers and moots, if any of you have gotten this far, I have to say that we have very nearly surpassed Romeo & Juliet in number of fics on AO3. keep it up)

now if I was forced to pick favorites in Romeo & Juliet, I would have to say the aforementioned Benvolio and Mercutio- both as a duo and as individuals, they are so flipping wonderful. I saw a local production of Romeo & Juliet over the summer, and ever since then, I have been deathly defensive of them. I will fight over the fact that they're both so well written and well characterized. (I also super love them as a ship- in the production I saw, when Romeo and Juliet met for the first time, there were plenty of duos in the background, slow dancing, and Ben and Merc were dancing together, and I just... I have no words. they're perfect.)

anyway. Benvolio first. Ben is such a big cousin sort of character, iykwim. there's something so tragic about the fact that he tried from the very beginning to get everyone to stop fighting, but no matter what he did or said, he couldn't save them- not his cousin, not his best friend. (I've never seen Hamlet, but I'm told that Benvolio is the Horatio of R&J. Shakespeare knew which archetypes work, I guess.) he's so awesome. I love him

and Mercutio! Merc is just a kid you guys. he's a teenage boy. he's so funny and free spirited and every time I watch R&J, all I can think about is "he's here for a good time, not a long time." because it's so true! his recklessness and immaturity leads to his death! (another theme, perhaps- because while he did sort of bring it upon himself, I would never say it's his fault- but that's a rant for another day.) Merc is just so immediately lovable and his death hurts me the most. his death is the turning point between a mostly light hearted play to the tragedy that we associate with it, and that makes it hurt even more. (and Ben holds him when he dies and Ben is left all alone at the end, and oh my god Shakespeare is famous for a reason.)

so, yeah. this is very long and mostly unedited, sorry. you pushed the right buttons to keep me talking for hours. maybe I'll start posting more about my other fandoms, because this was a lot of fun. thank you so much for asking :D

[to-taiwan-from-fanny]

Independent Excursion 1: Academic Cultural Reflection of Night Markets.

I’ve gone to an absurd amount of night markets throughout our numerous days in Taiwan, both independently and with the entire study abroad group as an excursion. I’ve been to most night markets around the Taipei area but the one I’ve gone to the most by far (a whole three times!) is Shilin Night Market. Not going to lie, I’ve definitely spent well over $4000 NTD within the few hours I’ve been there. There’s such a huge variety of different stalls, ranging from clothing stores, to arcade style challenges, to claw machines, and of course food. 

Faith and I had gone to the Shilin Night Market on our 2nd day officially in Taiwan (we had come to the country a few days before the main group arrived) and it was my first real experience of one. I’ve been to Chinatown in New York and have heard tales of my mother’s haggling adventures in Hong Kong secondhand but the reality was even better than what I could imagine. There was so much to see and do it was almost overstimulating. 

When googling “things to do in Taiwan”, night markets are guaranteed to be on the list. Frequented by both natives and tourists alike, they’re a crucial part of Taiwanese society. It’s a center for fostering community, stimulating economic growth, preserving current culture and innovation. But what draws people to night markets in the first place? This study from Chuang et al. (2014) finds that the main contributors to the high number of people going to night markets being “the low unit prices, with products under US$3.30 compromising approximately 70% of [the market]”, the festivals/performances, and the servitude of the vendors. 

Being someone who has gone to multiple night markets in my short time in Taiwan (just a bit over 2 weeks!), I completely attest to all points given. I've noticed that the pricing of things here are pretty similar or even more expensive than it is in America, with the main price disparity being the food costs. How could I resist myself from trying as much food as possible when it’s so cheap? 

But don’t let all my yapping about food fool you: night markets aren’t just a place to eat. Because of how ingrained they are into Taiwanese culture, they also act as social gathering spots where family, friends, and colleagues alike can come together to mingle about and enjoy a unique atmosphere unlike anywhere else. I had such a fun time going around the night market, both alone, with Faith, and with a huge group. It’s a different experience every time and I’ll really miss it when I go back to boring Gainesville. 

In recent years, though, local Taiwanese government has been actively trying to curtail the prevalence of night markets, they continue to flourish in modern times, though not to the same extent (Taipei Times, issue 09/05/2009). I didn’t initially understand why the government would be trying to make night markets less prevalent in society considering how it makes up such a huge part of its society, but upon further research, I understand why. 

It’s not the most hygienic place: the stalls are tightly packed and air-flow isn’t the best. COVID-19 only exemplified these concerns, as the crowded nature of night markets was a super-spreader hub. The noise and waste generated by the night market can also be detrimental to the environment and the people living next to them. Despite all these downsides though, the importance the night markets serve cannot be denied by anyone, which is why they’re still so many today despite such a large number of concerns. They also act as competition with more formal business - the ones we see more often in America. It's a delicate balance between preserving culture and reducing health and safety concerns. Tai, W. P., & Chang, J. (2015)

These night markets are a livelihood for thousands of Taiwanese citizens but contrary to what I had assumed before, the vendors at the night market aren’t only those who can’t find employment elsewhere but, in fact, are mostly people who chose this profession as an alternative to the traditional “dead-end laborious 9-5 white collar jobs” (Liu, Yu. 2009). 

Though I hadn’t put much thought into this initially, this really does make sense. East Asian societies put a huge emphasis on education, big company jobs, etc, and Taiwan is no exception. Being a child of Chinese immigrant parents myself, I know just how much the pressure is to “succeed” both academically and professionally. I completely understand why the youth would be drawn to this. To those who are tired of the mundaneness of everyday life, tending a stall in the very night market they might have grown up going to seems like such a wonderful escape from the “rat race”. 

[avaseofpeonies]

Lost You Forever season 2 let's GOOOOOOO!!!!

Ah, last year there were two C-drama novel adaptations that I was super excited for because I love both books so so much. The first was Back From The Brink and

nnnnnggghhh... what happened there? It was like they threw the novel in a paper shredder with three other novels and then pasted together random strips out of the mess. I'm usually very understanding of necessary changes to adaptations but there didn't seem to be any reason for them here. The production wasn't great either. It was so disappointing. I dnf'd it midway I just couldn't.

But then Lost You Forever came along to heal my heart. This adaptation (at least part one so far) has been just perfect. So beautiful, so faithful to the story (yeah they changed the hair washing to hair combing maybe washing would be too erotic for Chinese tv, idk but at least they got it in sideways :) I've been rewatching part one in advance of part two starting today and it's still amazing me. Possibly the best novel adaptation I've ever seen.

Sigh, I really wish my favorite wuxia danmeis could get this sort of treatment. Maybe someday in China 🤞, but speaking of, Meet You At The Blossom is starting on the 11th!!! This is the danmei being adapted by a Taiwanese/ Thai cooperative. I do wish they could have chosen a better novel for this experiment (I assume they were able to get the IP cheap since it's not one of the top famous ones) but I'm still very excited to see what they do with it and hopefully it is the harbinger of more proper danmei adaptations in the future.

For now, though, Lost You Forever part two LET'S GOOOO!!!!!

[demonslayedher]

OK, so the upcoming adaptation of the Swordsmith Village arc has me in a chokehold, and as such, I've been thinking a lot about the village itself. I've been wondering- have there been any notable instances of whole villages devoted to Swordsmithing? And as a slight, more KNY tangent, how do you think Gyokko managed to locate the village wherein the story happens? (Definitely could have phrased that more elegantly, but whatevs)

Slight tangent? This like two different questions, Wyn, how sly! Just kidding. Before I get too distracted by SWORDS SWORDS SWORDS, I'm going to set aside the Gyokko question and say I have no idea, maybe Ufotable will give us something come April? Perhaps he's got spying methods through his pots, and one of his pots got sold along the route to the village? Perhaps he sent his fish to spy on the conversations between birds, or perhaps one of his fish got caught and eaten in the village? Perhaps while looking for the Blue Spider Lily, this was a totally accidental discovery? I handled this question in my Demon Sibling AU: Version Uzui as having used ninja abilities to spy on conversations between Kakushi and slayers and crows and used that to piece together a location. As for swords, instead of villages solely dedicated to sword production, what you often found was neighborhoods dedicated to a certain kind of product--pottery, textiles, oil, etc--and in the case of a town arising around, say, the construction of an emperor's tomb or a Sengoku era castle, what came first was the workers, and then the town to support the livelihood of the workers. For places that are still famous for sword production (or as the case usually is today, kitchen knife production), it was usually a certain part of town instead of the village a whole, or at least, that would be my guess. These craftsman ultimately were taking clients to make their paycheck however much it was that they cared about their craft, but in the case of Kimetsu no Yaiba, the swordsmiths live by a mission, and the village and Corp support them such that they can be single-mindedly devoted to their craft and not have want of economic prosperity. The whole village can and is be built around their work. And, to make a community around sword production, it typically involved masters of many different crafts--the tatara kiln master who produces the iron, the blacksmith who shapes the blade, the sword polisher, the sword engraver, the craftsman who fits a hilt to it, the craftsman who creates its sheath, and so on. We don't know if every swordsmith in KnY's village can do everything themselves (or perhaps likes doing everything themselves), but with each of them being such strike disciplines, some division of labor and specialization wouldn't surprise me.

Looking back in Japanese history for swordsmiths who produced any any sharp and pretty thing for killing humans as their clients liked, the famous spots various depending on the time period. For example, in the Heian era, the Awataguchi area (the far east end of Sanjo street) of Kyoto was the spot of town to go for finding a swordsmith, though swords produced by masters throughout the country still found their way to the capital too. Then as we move from Heian through Sengoku, the land of Bizen (modern day eastern Okayama Prefecture) was the top producer of swords in this era, and although Sagami (modern day Kanagawa Prefecture) wasn't as prolific, they had some super famous swords produced there. Mino (modern day Gifu Prefecture) didn't come onto the sword producing stage until later, but they supplied a lot of weapons to Oda Nobunaga and Tokugawa Ieyasu's armies. Although these areas (and many more) become associated with sword production and their own respective styles and aesthetics, they were perhaps better known by the famous individual swordsmiths they produced.

Nowadays, these are considered the "Big Three" spots for Japanese blade production: Sakai City in Osaka Prefecture, Sanjo City in Niigata Prefecture, and Seki City in Gifu Prefecture. I've mentioned Seki on this blog before, as this is where LiSA is from, and I have personal connections there. I haven't been back since long before my KnY obsession, but I can't believe no one ever told me that part of the city's history and took me the museum! There's also a parade in which knife producers walk around and show off their handiwork, while talking about this with a coworker from another part of Gifu, it was as she was saying "it seems scary" that I was like "THAT SOUNDS AWESOME, I WANNA SEE THAT."

I'm also very partial to eastern Shimane Prefecture, not as much known for the sword production as the iron production. Nowdays, Okuiizumo is the only producer of tamagahane (iron ore of the right quality for Japanese swords), and nearby Yasugi is a major producer of high quality steel for everything from industrial use to kitchen blades. Part of what I really wanted to express in my write-up of sword production as it relates to Kimetsu no Yaiba was that you can't focus solely on the swordsmiths and their direct actions on shaping the blade; Japanese swords are product of nature and management of the finite raw materials directly contributes to the beauty of the final product. Even back in the Heian era, these materials would travel long distances to reach the famous hands of renown swordsmiths, and even after the shaping of the blades, they would still be passed around from craftsman to craftsman before reaching the hands of a master swordsman.

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #270

Spoon.2Di, vol. 18. Mitsurou Kubo's interview

Part 1.

--- At last, we got close to the start of Yuri!!! on ICE - how do you feel now?

K: There is nobody in the entire world yet, who loves Yuuri Katsuki or Victor Nikiforov and other characters more than me and Yamamoto Director love them (laugh), so I want to quickly send these characters out into the world so they can be loved by everybody.

--- So firstly, could you tell us how did it happen that you got involved in this project?

K: As far as I know, Yamamoto Director wanted to make an anime about figure skating for a very long time, but because it's very difficult to get a TV anime project about figure skating accepted, she was turned down again and again. In those circumstances, the Director went abroad privately to cheer on figure skaters during Sochi Olympics in 2014. And while there, she got a chance to speak on the phone with a producer that was her acquaintance, and when she was asked if there was any anime that she wanted to make, she thought that it must have been her destiny calling and answered that she wanted to make an anime about figure skating. It might have been because the producer was high on the Olympics' atmosphere, but the Director got a "That sounds good!" answer (laugh) - that event has become the breakthrough for production of this anime. So, it was decided that the anime was going to be produced and Yamamoto Director was looking for a screenwriter. By chance, at that time she was a heavy listener of a radio program that I was doing, or so I've heard. In 2014, around the time when the serialization of "Again!" in "Weekly Shonen Magazine" ended, I tweeted that I don't have any future jobs lined up whatsoever. The Director saw that tweet and I've heard that she contacted the producer to tell him "Kubo-san doesn't have any work to do at the moment, it's our chance!" (laugh). It seems the Director knew that I was talking a lot about figure skating on the radio and on TV, even though I was talking about it from my perspective of just a member of the general audience. She also knew that in the past, when "Moteki" was to be adapted into live-action movie, I did the entire original screenplay in a form of manga storyboards. So, I've heard that she chose me for the job, because she hoped I could draw storyboards that would become the foundation for the animation, but at that time we haven't even met each other yet… (laugh).

[Notes: One of the first Yuri!!! interviews this time for a change (because most were published after the show became super popular)!

This one is quite well-know - she talks about real-life models of the characters etc.]

[modestcatholiclife]

Mid-Lent Reflections

So I'm hoping that today's post will be a little bit different. I've been thinking a lot about this blog and I realised that I've been treating it like an obligation rather than a voluntary personal project.

Since I began converting to Catholicism, things have become rather complication for me. I'm changing as a person and feel very disconnected from my friends, who are all secular, as a result. Additionally, I haven't had a great deal of success in making Catholic friends just yet so I honestly feel quite lonely. During these times, I'm so grateful to God for my lovely fiance who has been the pinnacle of support during this struggle. So this blog gives me an opportunity to talk about those things that I'd like to talk about with friends and potentially connect with people online.

I'd like to try and be a bit more personal and engaging with these posts but I believe that is something I'll find with time. For now, I'll share what I can with you.

Well, right now I'm sick. Nothing serious, I just have a stuffy nose and am very fatigued. I've had to cancel some appointments and interviews and haven't been very productive these past couple of days as a result, which is completely understandable. What's less understandable, though, is that I've honestly been really letting myself down with my Lenten fasts. I haven't been consistent with them at all and the only one I can say that I haven't broken is my fast from meat. I've been on social media almost non-stop and it's been awful. I usually have a block on my phone that keeps me out of most apps from 8pm-9am but I haven't been using it lately. I've been so unproductive for weeks now and have done little to no cleaning around the apartment. It's getting pretty bad here and I'm disappointed in myself. I was hoping to get back onto things this week but of course, now I'm sick. My prayer life has been almost nonexistent. I'm not going to continue, it's not helpful for me to engage in excessive negative self-talk and I should be directing my focus towards improvement, not despondency.

On a more positive note, my early childcare traineeship interviews went incredibly well! So well, in fact, that I was offered the traineeship on the spot during my first interview! I have the contract with me, that I will be signing and returning tomorrow (assuming I'm not still sick) and I'll be starting the job two weeks from today! I've already handed in my letter of resignation to my current job and am looking forward to this new chapter of my life.

I also went to Great Vespers on Saturday night with my lovely fiance. We've just passed the Veneration of the Holy Cross so I have included photos of the Cross from St. Andrew's after Great Vespers on Saturday and St. Volodymyr's after Divine Liturgy on Sunday. This was only my second time attending Great Vespers. I sat near the choir and did my best to participate. Hopefully if I work hard enough, I might be able to join the choir one day.

Lastly, yesterday I spent the day resting and watching movies and anime with my fiance. We watched the first episode of part six of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. So far, I'm not loving it. This is the first part with a female main character and it shows. I don't appreciate how overly sexualised Jolyne is immediately. I'll keep watching it at some point but right now, I'm not super interested. I just watched Chicago for the first time and watching another piece of media about women in prison (even if they aren't there for long) is not capturing my interest. My fiance showed me an episode of an old anime he used to like so I showed him an episode of Ouran High School Host Club, which I watched back in year 7, and he liked it so much we watched a second episode! We also watched Mad Max: Fury Road together. Later on, we watched Josie and the Pussycats, which he highly enjoyed and I would highly recommend.

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Now That's What I Call Music! 48 2001 Pop / Teen Pop / Adult Contemporary / House / R&B / UK Garage / Pop-Rock / Trance / Alternative Rock / Dance-Pop / Latin Pop

Alright, well, I know what *some* of you might be thinking here:

Hey, waitaseckin! You're tryna tell me that the 48th volume of Now came out in 2001? But my copy of Volume 6 that I hold near and dear to my heart came out that same year too! How the hell could they have released more than 40 volumes of this stuff within a single year?!

Well, you silly American, they didn't. I mean, don't you know that this whole super pervasive enterprise of repackaged contemporary hits didn't actually start in the States?? Now's original home is in the UK, and its first ever volume came out in 1983. And on top of that, while each of your American installments in the main series have only consisted of either one disc or one cassette, the UK's releases have been either double-discs, double-cassettes, or double-LPs!

So that's what we have here, folks. An early 2000s double-disc Now dispatch from the UK.

Now, I know that over the past week and change I've been really singing the praises of the UK music industry writ large when comparing it to America's, but the buck is going to have to stop right here, because despite this thing having a small, eclectic handful of flat-out y2k-era bangers on it, it's still, unfortunately, pretty freaking bad. The plurality of what's on this is pure pop music, and while the tunes that were also popular in the States, like Nelly Furtado's "I'm Like a Bird" and Britney's "Stronger" are the ones that undoubtedly go the hardest, the vast majority of the rest of them are just very flat. No flair or pizzazz in the production chops; just deeply uninspired, hollow, mass-produced dreck. I don't think I've ever heard a good solo Spice Girls single before, and that streak continues with both Emma Bunton's "What Took You So Long" and Melanie B's "Feels So Good," and even the often reliable Robbie Williams, whose singles usually satisfy with a level of charmingly catchy and classy glitz, sounds like lame Christian megachurch pop-rock here, with "Let Love Be Your Energy." Ugh!

But what always seems to make these UK versions of Now ultimately still worth a listen is the electronic music, which is something that the US versions didn't dabble in too much in the early years, besides a couple Fatboy Slim jams here and there. I got pretty deep into the nature of the UK music industry in a post last week, but to sum it up quickly here, the UK embraced electronic and dance music in the late 80s with the Second Summer of Love, which made acid house wildly popular, and ever since then the country has been far more willing to embrace many forms of electronic music, while the US simply hasn't.

So that's why there are a whole lot more dance tunes on the UK comps than the US ones, and even though they can be quite cheesy too, like Dario G's pop-trance defilement of The Cranberries' "Dreams" 😒, you're still bound to run into at least one very good song that Americans don't know anything about; and that song in this particular volume is a piece of house from Italy's Planet Funk called "Chase the Sun." As far as I can tell, Planet Funk have never charted in the US in any capacity before, but this debut single of theirs ended up proving immensely popular across the pond, netting itself a top-five spot on the UK singles chart in 2001. With a melody taken from an Ennio Morricone tune and vocals provided by Finland's Auli Kokko, this very sleek and well-layered gem really makes for a beautifully warm and nocturnal kinda vibe 😌.

But other than that, there's really not too much else here that Americans who had their radios locked onto their favorite commercial hit radio stations and their TVs tuned to MTV wouldn't know about. Usually when I sift through these UK versions of Now, I end up finding a lot more goodies that failed to make it Stateside, but nothing else on these two discs here really feels worth writing about. I still prefer the UK version of this series overall, of course, because the electronic music naturally makes it far more eclectic than the US version, but that eclecticism doesn't always translate into a better release; and such is the case here 😔.

Highlights:

CD1:

Nelly Furtado - "I'm Like a Bird" Shaggy feat. Ricardo "Rik Rok" Ducent - "It Wasn't Me" Modjo - "Chillin'" Britney Spears - "Stronger" Backstreet Boys - "Shape of My Heart"

CD2:

Feeder - "Buck Rogers" Papa Roach - "Last Resort" Planet Funk - "Chase the Sun" Safri Duo - "Played-A-Live (The Bongo Song)" Mýa - "Case of the Ex" Chanté Moore - "Straight Up" Joe - "Stutter"

[quil12]

souyo + manic pixie dream girl yosuke but just like as the stereotype

This one was actually more fun to write than I thought it would be lmao. I wasn't entirely sure at first, but I like the direction I went with it

Yosuke stared into the mirror, sighing as he adjusted the wig on his head. It was a pale pink bob with light blue ribbons attached to the side. 

How had he let this happen?

He made videos sometimes. It was always of him playing the guitar, mostly doing tutorials of songs. After college, he had gotten hired on at Rise’s production studio as someone to help write songs for the idols - he mainly did stuff for Rise since she was the reason he had gotten hired, but he still did stuff for the other idols there as well. A lot of people liked having him - someone who had actually worked on writing the songs - teach them how to play it. The production studio was even for it, enjoying the good will from their fans. 

About a month ago, he had been asked by the production company to take part in a charity live stream. He had managed to gain a small following of his own, so they wanted people who were more interested in him to come as well. He had agreed, and that was where his problem had started.

One thing had led to another, and, by the end of it, he had promised to dress up and shoot a video playing a character if they managed to raise a certain amount of money. Needless to say, they had reached that goal, so now, in order to keep that promise, he was about to shoot a video - a video in drag - a video in a type of drag far more embarrassing than what he had been forced to wear at the crossdressing pageant in high school. 

The one silver lining of all of this was that he had only agreed to a pre-recorded video. That meant that he could edit out any parts that were too embarrassing for him to handle. He also didn’t have to deal with anyone else being there to laugh at him.

Yu was even out of the house for the afternoon spending time with some work friends. He had actually waited specifically until he had a day like that to do this. The idea of Yu seeing him like this was so unbearably embarrassing.

He had struggled a little bit getting ready, having to watch tutorials to do even the most basic of makeup. It had taken him about two hours to get himself to look presentable on that front. After that, he had to put on the outfit - he wasn’t about to wear a dress again, so he had settled for a pair of jeans and a lacy blouse - no one was gonna see his legs anyway. After that, he had once again struggled for a long while to get the wig on. 

Now though, there was nothing else to do but record this video.

He hesitated as much as he could before exiting the bedroom, walking down the hall to the room where he had his instruments. He had quite a few - a couple different types of guitar, a keyboard, even a box of miscellaneous percussion instruments. 

This was also where he had his setup to do videos. 

He took a deep breath before grabbing an acoustic guitar off of its stand, walking over to the desk on the other side of the room. He had already set everything up, so now it was just time to record. 

He sat down on the chair in front of the desk, staring at the camera in front of him. He could do this. He wouldn't die of embarrassment. He would be all right. He just had to record a super quick video and hopefully no one he actually knew would ever bring it up to him. 

He took one last steadying breath before reaching over and hitting the record button. 

He readjusted the guitar in his lap before looking up toward the camera, smiling widely. 

He raised the pitch of his voice as he spoke, keeping it as energetic as possible. "Hey everyone! I just wanted to record another wonderful video for you today. Now, I've already made a tutorial for this one, but it didn't have quite as much flair as I wanted it to have. So, we're gonna try making it a little bit different and fun this time. I-"

He was cut off by the sound of the door to the room creaking open. 

He immediately moved the guitar, holding it up in between him and the door, hiding behind it. He looked to see Yu standing there, staring at him, his eyebrows knit together. 

His heart was pounding. He didn't want him to see him dressed up like this. This was so embarrassing. 

Yu hesitated. "Uh, is this a video or a live stream?"

He looked away, reaching over, and pausing the recording. "Video."

"I was just coming to tell you that I was home, but I guess it's not the best time."

Yosuke didn't say anything. He just wanted to curl in on himself and stop existing. He really hated that he had come home now. Why couldn't it have been in like an hour? When he had finished shooting the video and had had time to take everything off. 

Yosuke wasn't looking toward Yu, but he looked up as he heard footsteps coming toward him. 

He stopped in front of him, laying his palm on his cheek, humming. 

He leaned forward, pressing a soft and chaste kiss to his lips. It was so tender that he almost forgot what he was wearing. Almost.

He pulled away, looking at his face almost consideringly. 

"I'll start on dinner in just a few minutes."

Yosuke nodded, watching as he headed toward the door. 

Just before he left the room, he turned to face him. "Oh, and Yosuke?"

"Yeah?"

"Your eyeliner is smeared."

He let out an involuntary noise of embarrassment.

Yu laughed, leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

Yosuke groaned, holding his head in his hand. Why did he have to say things like that? 

After a few seconds, he straightened, looking at himself in the camera.

His eyeliner really was smeared.

[theimperialnuisance]

Know the mun/blogger

1. Are you named after anyone?

First name, no, but my middle name yes, after my great grandmother

2. When was the last time you cried?

This morning :,< I was in a lot of pain and the pain meds were not kicking in at all. I'm a lot better now but today has been a down-for-the-count kind of day as my energy level is really low from that. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be more productive

3. Do you have kids?

Do a puppy and two kitties count? :3 Otherwise, nope. No tiny humans in my life but maybe one day in the far future.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

When the situation calls for it, yes, or if I am comfortable with my surroundings cause I try not to be sarcastic if I'm around new faces

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

I was an avid dancer until High School and then traded out the dance shoes for an instrument and did Marching Band till College. I only really played soccer in Physical Ed classes and/or with friends and I used to play street hockey as well but again all of that was just for fun with friends as I was never part of a sports team.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Oh. Good question. Appearance-wise, their eyes. Non-appearance wise, how they hold themselves or talk to other people. Sometimes you can tell a lot (good or bad) by how someone talks to others or how they act in certain situations. I dunno if that makes sense but that's usually what I notice as a quiet observer.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Definitely not scary movies as I am a scardy cat XD I can barely sit through any sort of scary movie so if it's between those two, happy endings it is!

8. Any special talents?

Apparently (at least according to my friends and co-workers) being able to braid my hair, like a French braid or a fishtail braid, is a talent of mine because I can do it without a mirror and also while I am walking. And yes, they are really good-looking braids XD

9. Where were you born?

A small town in the hills on the West Coast of the states in the southern part of said state. I moved up north when I was still little though.

10. What are your hobbies?

Video games for sure, Writing, Reading, Theater (More so theater tech over acting but occasionally I will act) Singing, Roller skating, Yoga, annnnd crochet!

11. Do you have any pets?

I have two cats and a dog! My two cats are twins, one is super affectionate and vocal (my sister's cat) and my cat is a sleepy old man who is very selective of who gets to cuddle with him (usually I can say someone is good people if my cat likes them XD) and then a very cute and energetic puppy who is small like a lap dog but she's actually a full 40 lbs as she's mixed with a pit bull and a corgi! She's the sweetest pup I've ever had <3

12. How tall are you?

152.4 cm!

13. Fave subject in school?

I absolutely loved English/Creative writing and then History mainly ancient history if I had to narrow it down.

14. Dream job?

Working at a professional theatre in some capacity whether I am working the Front of House as a House Manager or the Back of House as a Tech or Stage Manager :3 and as of this year, that dream job has become a reality <3

15. Eye colour?

Hazel but my eyes will change to green depending on certain factors!

Tagged by: @sundered-souls (tyvm! <3)

Tagging: Whoever would like to do this! :3

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Eyes, Internets, etc.

Okay! I successfully ate in the Denny's without sunglasses today! Our nearest Denny's has, like, spotlights on every table. It has been really painful to eat in restaurants like that, and shop, but I am getting better.

It's still not super comfortable for me to read. I'm not a fan of my surgery results thus far, but a big part of that is I'm not getting much aftercare. "Will my eyes improve to the point that I can once again look over and read my spouse's computer screen, a social interaction I value a great deal?" I wonder. "Your appointment has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances, please reschedule it," says the eye doctor. This is the one local person I've found who specializes in binocular vision dysfunction, whom I contacted after self-diagnosing. Nobody else had any idea why I was sick and in pain.

I'm an individual. I went into this with an obvious unique issue (my left eye impairs my binocular vision) and a bunch more less obvious (autistic, problems healing, multiple chronic health issues, etc) only some of which these people bothered to ask me about and then, like usual, they forget all this information and treat me like the default. "Hey, these eye drops don't work!" *crickets* "Yep, okay, back to doing my own research and buying shit off Amazon in case it helps."

But, I am improving. Me and my arsenal of OTC products which may or may not be helping but I'm getting real sick of my eyes not working so I'm throwing everything at the wall to see if it sticks. I'm going to try to get back to the feed and the social interaction. I've tried before and it hasn't been any fun, but now I can eat in the Denny's so we'll see.

The world moves on and stuff's been happening during my extended hiatus. Just to tick off two major things I would've written way more about: There is no justification for genocide, and wow, I gave money to con-artist and plagiarist James Somerton. One of these things is VASTLY more important than the other, but I have less of a personal stake in freeing Palestine. I think I've done all I can to back away from my country of origin and its propensity for letting a little ethnic cleaning slide when it's politically feasible. But I could've done better research on my donations.

I haven't been fucking READING much for the past couple years. Not, you know, books. It's been taking more effort for me to read books, even though I'm still probably reading just as much across various websites (and my own writing and editing). Well, it's still an effort, and I don't know if that's going to change much. Because, once again, I believed people when they said something would be easy to fix and improve my quality of life. I'm sure it's been easy for them, but it's never easy for me. Jury's still out on my "quality of life," which everyone is always very concerned with until it requires some extra effort on their part.

It might still be fine. It just won't be because doctors pay attention and care about me. It'll be because people generally heal and are fine. You can get away with a lot when human bodies are fairly resilient.

Last week, when I needed a refill on some goddamn heartburn medication that a gastroenterologist said I ought to take for the rest of my life to reduce my risk of developing cancer, my family doctor threatened to withhold it because... I haven't been in for a while. I've been back to the specialists I had to beg him to send me to, multiple times, and he has access to my records (and somehow missed my most recent blood work) but apparently he needs to talk to me about...?? I don't even know what, but I bet he'll tell me to take more herbs. ...If he doesn't altogether say he didn't want me to make a phone appointment, he wanted me to come sit in his office and deal with the lights and noise for some reason. We'll see.

I can't... There's not even a word for it, but I can't divest myself of this person and stop him from viewing my records and violating my privacy. Leaving your family doctor in order to not have one is not a thing Canada allows. Obviously, you want a family doctor! Especially if the only alternative is not having one at all! You need one! That may be the case, but this one is kinda low-key trying to kill me and there aren't any others. I would rather have a clinic OKing my prescriptions and sending me to specialists. At least they wouldn't pull bullshit like cutting off my heartburn meds because they might want an update on my thyroid which they should not require me to give them. Or, you know, if they did, I could at least go to another clinic.

This guy can't even remember how to pronounce my name. He's clearly reading it off a piece of paper every time. If and when I change my name and gender officially, I hope it either bothers him so much he fires me as a patient, or it kills him. Those are kinda my only options for getting rid of him. Wow. I'm praying for a guy's death and it's not even one of the ones doing the genocide - man, I'm selfish.

Oh well. This'll be another stressful week with more medical stuff, some of it unnecessary, but maybe I can get back to the feed tomorrow. And maybe I'll be able to draw without making myself sick soon. This too shall pass. I dunno if I'm gonna like where I end up after it passes, but it will pass.

Then I'll have a whole new thing to deal with.

[thegoldenshi-shi]

I'm starting to think I was dreaming the last ask I sent... I swear, I vividly remember sending you an ask gushing about your art, how nice you are, and just rambling about what all has been going on in life, but man... /j

Also, sorry if it seems like I only send asks after tf art, I swear I love everything you do, but the transformers stuff is the only stuff I know anything about, so it's the only thing I really have confidence in blabbering about.

I did an oopsy and doordashed Timmy's to work today, so I got donuts and a breakfast bagel sandwhich to eat today. Good thing, too! I have been /HUNGRY/. We managed to ship out almost two hundred packages today, and that's with just three people who can pack, and one who can ship orders. I'm Super duper happy about it! Everything else has been absolutely crazy. I've decided to go through all my books in my closet, and the books on my shelves, and start bocing some in better shaped boxes, so I can donate them. Gonna end up checking with people I know if they want any first, though. Also gonna go through my stuffed animals, find ones that I'm not too attached to, and donate them too. After washing them first, of course.

I have also fallen into a hole of true crime podcasts, which I'm pretty surprised about. Cause, like. I don't like hearing about how bad people can be? I dislike people enough, I just. Don't wanna absolutely ruin my opinion on humans anymore. Like, I know there are good people out there, really really good people. But I also don't really like the vast majority of publicized humanity. You always hear about all the awful things... the worst of humanity shouts and screams their opinions, all the time. Broadcasts em to the world. And, it's difficult for the truly good people to be heard...

On a very much less heavy topic, my nephew is in town! I haven't seen him in about a year, so it's nice to see him. Even if small children make me super anxious and uncomfy. We're also looking at an August vacation, which I'll need to prep for cause I'm pale as a ghost and it'll be three days straight of being outdoors.

What've you been up to?

~Smooch

Hi there Smooch!

It's good to see you in my inbox again, I was starting to wonder how you were doing.

It sounds like you're having a good time of it, donuts for breakfast is a special treat hehe. And being busy at work is a good too, being productive is always a plus. It hasn't been that long since I went through my book collection, so I feel your pain there. Hoarding books (and drawing paper for some reason) is probably my one weakness in trying to keep my space tidy. I'm running out of shelves T_T

So far as your new interest in true crime podcasts, congratulations on finding a new source of enjoyment. If something intrigues you, I say don't let your preconceived notions about what you enjoy and don't enjoy. I must admit that I dislike podcasts myself, just because I can never focus on them, the same goes for audio books for some reason. But I do understand their appeal, and am always happy to hear someone is enjoying them. I hope you have fun on your vacation, I too am pale and require sunscreen if I go out without a good layer over my skin. Some of my friends have said I look like a vampire with my complexion and dark circles, which left me going "Thanks guys". I wish you no sunburn and good weather for your vacation!

As far as what I've been up to: I've been working on my webtoon, trying to figure out a schedule for making it that works, building up courage to actually post it and you know...actually get the financial stuff in place to start the business aspect of my art? hehe....

My main job has picked up for the season, so I'm switching gears and getting ready for less and less free time, and I'm trying to incorporate some classical music into my pianist job while bracing for spring-time "Special Music" rush.

Also, I don't mind that you only ask after my Transformers work. I don't expect anyone to enjoy every single thing I post, there are a thousand fandoms out there and it would be ignorant to expect everyone to know about all my interests.

[inkofamethyst]

February 10, 2025

I know I should start off with something small and achievable but I want to knit a sweater so so so so bad. Like so bad. Going to force myself to work on something easier and smaller (bc I know sleeves will take a surprising amount of time) but I'm pretty sure that my second full project will be the step-by-step sweater. So excited to be able to never have to wear sweaters with boxy, unshaped, unflattering armscyes ever again. Soon.

[two days later]

Casted on the Step By Step Sweater because I'm nothing if not ambitious and tbh why wait. I shall learn as I go. And I won't get bored because I want a sweater. While not smaller than a sweater, the video tutorial should mean that it'll be fairly straightforward, I think. The collar has been already (though even just that took hours), and I'll save the short rows for tomorrow. I elected for a fairly inexpensive wool/acrylic yarn in a rich orangey brown (it was either that or a mossy green) at a new-to-me local yarn store--the staff were super nice! I've already set up a savings goal to start putting money away for really good yarn in a big project (maybe sport or fingering weight).

Anyway I remember some girl on tiktok a while ago talking about how she learned to knit specifically to knit one pattern in particular and that's the one she started off with as an absolute beginner and her final product looked amazing. If she could do it, then why not I, a longtime fiber artist?

Very happy with my choice.

Speaking of tiktok, I.. it didn't really feel the same after it was revived. And maybe it was just me (I wasn't buying the conspiracies on that though tbh) and nothing substantive had changed, but I think the fact that I had also prepared to go without tiktok for good meant that I'd already kind of decided to say goodbye to it. So I kind of unintentionally started to detox? And then I've intentionally maintained it for two weeks? Sure, I've reached for it, it was an addiction of sorts for a time, after all, but then I stop myself.

I think I'd like to learn more about decentralized social networks.

[two more days later]

I'm now 26 rows into the yoke. Some of the techniques were tricky early on (specifically the make-one-purling during the short row section), but it's been smooth sailing for the past twenty rows or so. Sixteen more rows left of the yoke before I presumably split into the body and sleeves. So far, it looks so good. The stitches are so even (except maybe the make-one's around the raglan lines but I may be able to block those out). Sure there are some minor minor minor mistakes, but they're not very visible at all. It's also really fun. I think the color is perfect, I like that it is largely natural fiber without being overly expensive for a first project and it's machine washable. I suspect many future projects will not be (or at least definitely not machine dryable).

My dnd-friend and her partner came up to my city over the weekend and I had a lovely brunch with them :) I think I'm thankful for that today.