#i've been screaming about this for months

[wintrbears]

Cradle Robbers: The Third Trimester | JJK

Summary: Everything feels different after having the worst scare of your life, but your baby's due date is fast approaching and there's still plenty more important things to do than rifle through your ever-growing feelings for Jungkook. He certainly doesn't make it easy on you when he's constantly sweeping you off your feet.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Pregnancy AU, Childhood Friends to FWB to Lovers, Slow-Burn, Smut, Fluff, Crack, Angst (barely, you have to squint to see it)

Word Count: 24.9k+

Warnings: pregnancy, childbirth, water breaking, talks of bodily fluids, blood, blood transfusion, mentions of dizziness, anxiety, surprises, gifts, alcohol, thunderstorms, hospitals, doctors, nurses, scrubs, wheelchairs, crying, screaming, extreme physical pain, airplanes. SMUT: kissing, cuddling, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, big dick jk!!!, oral sex (m receiving), doggy, dick riding, titty play, lactation kink, making out in the shower, cream pie, grinding, hair pulling, choking, manhandling, ok I think that might be it!

Author's Note: I actually cannot believe the final chapter is here. the amount of love I've received from this story is so overwhelming and it makes me unbelievably happy that you guys love these two as much as I do. here's to an epic conclusion for our couple and their beautiful baby! if you’ve given birth and see any inaccuracies pls just look the other way lol. also, to the anon that asked me about a lactation kink and I said no... I promise I'm not a liar you just inspired me to add one. thank you all so much for all the support. enjoy, my lovely readers :)

-> Cradle Robbers Masterpost

SEVEN

You sincerely hope your fellow grocery shoppers don’t see you with six bottles of wine balancing on your baby bump and think you’re a monster. It obviously isn’t for you, but stranger things have happened and you have no control over what these people may think of you. 

The sole reason you’re purchasing copious amounts of alcohol is because it’s wine night, and tonight is the inaugural gathering at your house. The girls are all unbelievably excited to see the illustrious home, including the partially decorated nursery they’ve only seen via video call.

It’s since been painted a neutral beige color with an adorable cat and dog mural on the wall behind the crib. More artwork occupies the remaining walls, including a set of picture frames containing photos of you and Jungkook from childhood until now. The furniture’s all been built at this point, although some of it still needs to be placed and secured to the wall. The ample supply of stuffed animals provided by none other than your baby’s father reside in a hammock above the rocking chair. 

Jungkook will be at Namjoon’s tonight along with the other guys so you can have the place to yourselves, which you’re grateful for since it wouldn’t be very conducive to conversation if a central topic of your gossip is present. He certainly doesn’t need his ego stroked by you enthusiastically retelling the girls about all your wild sexual encounters. 

Visually taking stock of your haul, which mostly consists of junk food and wine, you mentally run through your shopping list one last time before heading to the checkout. The employee scanning your items looks surprised when she glances between your belly and the wine collection, but thankfully doesn’t comment on the questionable items. She informs you of the total and you tap Jungkook’s black card against the machine. Once you hear the familiar chime, you thank the woman and steer your cart towards the parking lot.

A recent development of your pregnancy is that you began your third and final trimester by quitting your job, hence why you’re paying for groceries with Jungkook’s card and not your own.

It’s been on the table for a while now, with you and Jungkook discussing it here and there over the last couple months. After crunching the numbers, the two of you mutually agreed it’s for the best. Since your salary is astronomically smaller than Jungkook’s, you would lose more money paying for childcare than by removing your salary from the equation altogether. 

Being a stay-at-home mom was never the plan, even when you were younger, but now that you’re pregnant, the idea is more appealing than ever. Not only do you want to be present for all the special moments of their childhood, but Jungkook is loaded and there’s no reason to pay for a nanny or daycare when he can care for you financially while you take care of things at home. 

Truthfully, it’s been difficult depending on him, not because he makes it so, but because you still feel guilty using his money. Your last paycheck was about two weeks ago, so you’re exclusively using his funds and the first time you tapped his card against the machine you nearly bit your lip off. On the flip side, Jungkook’s been profusely scolding you for refusing to go on a huge spending spree with his no limit credit card. 

He’s been continuously sending you links to buy expensive jewelry, clothes, and handbags, and threatens to buy them for you himself if you don’t run his bank account dry soon. It’s the first time in his life you’ve given him the go ahead to support you in that way and he’s adamant about you taking advantage of the opportunity. 

Ironically, the only thing you’ve bought other than essentials is a gift for him. 

Last week his gaming headset snapped in half when Bam decided they were a perfect seat. Jungkook was rightfully distraught and refused to look his beloved pet in the eye for the remainder of the evening. Determined to mend their relationship, you went out the following morning to buy him the latest and greatest. 

When you presented him the gift, Jungkook lifted you so far above his head in excitement you feared hitting the ceiling. Despite his own bank account decreasing, the thoughtfulness of your act sent him over the moon with joy. He attacked you with kisses once your feet met the ground again, and you had to pry him off you before your lips turned purple. 

Independence is a key character trait of yours, so this new lifestyle is definitely an adjustment, but it would be a lie to say it doesn’t feel just a little bit nice using a card that doesn’t have your own name on it. 

During your drive home, the contact image of Jungkook positively cheesing next to your most recent ultrasound photo appears on the dashboard screen. Your heart does an involuntary flip at the sight, and you press the green answer button just as the car turns down your street.

“Hey, baby.”

Despite his usage of a pet name, Jungkook sounds exasperated, and maybe slightly annoyed, when the phone connects.

“Koo? Is everything alright?”

“No, Bams,” he admits begrudgingly. “There’s a leak under the kitchen faucet. It’s pretty bad. I don’t think we can have the girls over tonight, but I already called the Blue Lagoon Lounge and booked a room for you guys. The drinks and food are all paid for already. So, text the girls to let them know and have fun, okay?”

“What? Jungkook, are you sure? If the leak isn’t going to take more than a couple hours I can just tell the girls to come later.”

“No, no,” Jungkook says. “Just go enjoy yourself and I’ll take care of this. I don’t want your night to be cut short at all. The reservation is under Jeon.”

“Alright,” you mumble. “Love you, talk to you soon.”

“Love you more, Bambi, I’ll see you soon.”

You voice-to-text your group chat to reiterate the news and your friends are downright ecstatic about having access to unlimited free food and drinks. 

In fact, the last text to ping your phone from Tzuyu reads: “thank you so fucking much for getting knocked up by a sexy millionaire. I owe you my life.” The three other members of the chat heart react the message. 

When you arrive at the restaurant, you look down and mentally congratulate yourself on already being dressed in your attire for the evening. It’s unusually warm for this time of year, so you’re in a floral tea-length dress with your hair up. Your friend group doesn’t normally get dolled up for these occasions, but Mina is finally ready to reacclimate herself to the dating scene and suggested a mini photoshoot for your choice of entertainment tonight. 

The Blue Lagoon Lounge is massive, with a full dining room, smaller private suites, and large banquet halls in the back. Upon telling the hostess the name, she leads you through a couple of winding hallways and rooms. She gestures towards a pair of double doors once you reach your destination and you gaze at her inquisitively, wondering if she got the room right. Sensing your confusion, she nods to reaffirm her guidance and steps aside so you can enter. 

The moment your feet cross the threshold, the eruption of sound from inside the room makes you jump in shock.

“SURPRISE!” 

Your eyes nearly pop out of your head as your jaw falls open.

All of your friends and family are scattered around the large room which overlooks the river on the edge of your city. The multitude of round tables which occupy the space are decorated beautifully with white, purple, and yellow flowers along with gorgeous fine china place settings. There’s a liberal sized bar along the back wall and an even bigger buffet table in the corner closest to you.  

When your surveying eyes land on Jungkook, who's standing with your friends beside the grand, floor length windows, he smirks and wiggles his phone in accomplishment. 

“You little liar!” 

“I did good, right?”

“Yes, which is concerning because you’re a terrible liar,” you say while approaching them.

“Oh, don’t worry, he needed plenty of coaching,” Mina states.

“We went over the script four times,” Nayeon mentions.

“And my hands still shook!” Jungkook responds before holding his hand up to show you it twitching. 

You clasp the appendage between your own and kiss his knuckles, pulling him into you for a tight embrace. He laughs heartily as his arms latch around you, tugging you up against him until your heels lift from the floor. His hand holds the nape of your neck while you rest your head on his shoulder. 

“Thank you, baby,” you whisper to him. “This is amazing.”

“I didn’t do anything besides pay for it, Bambi. Your friends did all this,” he tells you. 

“Uh, see, now he’s getting a little too good at lying,” Tzuyu says from behind you. “It was his idea, Y/N.”

You reluctantly depart from his warmth, but lace your fingers together while you stand side by side.

“No,” Jungkook shakes his head modestly. “I mentioned it once in passing and you guys took it from there.”

“So humble, JK,” Jihyo clicks her tongue disapprovingly. 

Hugging the girls one by one, you thank them for sacrificing a wine night for your surprise baby shower before moving throughout the room to greet everyone else who came to celebrate you.

Jungkook follows closely behind with a hand on your lower back, thanking everyone for coming with an adorable bow of his head. He does it so much that at one point you place your hand beneath his chin to stop him so he doesn’t get a headache. 

Your parents are last, but of course not least, and you don’t miss the way your moms make eye contact with matching cheshire grins when they notice where Jungkook’s hand resides. 

The six of you exchange hugs and your mom holds your hands afterwards, excitedly shaking them in the air. 

“Oh sweetie, weren’t you so surprised?” She asks.

“Yes! It was the last thing I was expecting, but I’m so grateful everyone came,” you answer her.

“You’re glowing, sweetpea,” your dad comments.

Once the greetings are complete, everyone moseys around grabbing drinks and placing their gifts on the long table at the front of the room. You join Jungkook at the bar to grab his drink, which he thrice pretends to hand you before pulling it back with an annoyingly cute giggle. Rolling your eyes, you take his hand and lead him to the little sweetheart table at the very center of the wall of windows which faces the rest of the room.

Before tables are dismissed one by one to grab food from the buffet, Jihyo stands and clinks a fork against her glass to garner everyone’s attention. 

“Hi everyone, for those who don’t know me, I’m Jihyo. I want to say a little something before we eat and celebrate the amazing woman sitting at the front of the room.” She beckons towards you with her hands and the sound of everyone’s cheers turns your face bright red. “Y/N is the most loving, caring, wonderful soul I’ve ever known and although it wasn’t planned,” she purposely whispers the last word, sending a wave of laughter across the room. “I am absolutely certain she’ll be the most amazing mother the world has ever known. I love you so much, babe, and I can’t wait to meet your little one.” 

She raises her glass for a toast, and you parrot the act with your virgin mimosa. 

“I believe the little one’s daddy also has something he’d like to say?”

Jungkook’s eyes go wide, his hand pointing to his chest in surprise, clearly not expecting the spotlight. Jihyo nods encouragingly and shoots him a double thumbs up as she takes her seat. Always one for a challenge, Jungkook cracks his neck, clicks his tongue, and clears his throat before standing with his drink in hand. 

“Hello,” Jungkook says quietly while fidgeting with his shirt collar. “I’m fairly certain everyone here knows me, since you can’t really know Bambi without knowing me, too.” He taps his fingers against his glass as he ponders his next move. “I, um…” You squeeze his hand where it rests on his thigh and a smile creeps onto his face, his eyes briefly catching your supportive gaze. “Jihyo’s right, this wasn’t planned, not even a little bit, but it was without a doubt the best surprise of my life.” 

Jungkook’s ears go red to match the blush painting his cheeks. 

“I’m so incredibly thankful to call her my best friend and the mother of my child. I know I’ll never be able to repay her for everything she’s going through to bring our little one into the world. Her body and mind have been through hell and I’ve spent my entire life chasing away whatever may bring her pain and sorrow, so it’s been really challenging to feel so helpless. But she handles everything so beautifully, with so much grace and understanding, and I grow more in awe of her with every passing day.” 

He takes a deep breath and faces you with his glass held high. 

“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Bams, and there’s nothing you deserve more than to be celebrated for everything you do and will do in the future as a mother. I love you more than words can describe, Y/N.”

You gasp, your hands slapping against your mouth as tears immediately threaten your waterline. It’s been nearly two decades since the last time you heard the sound of your name rolling off his tongue, and you don’t think the syllables have ever sounded so beautiful. 

Jungkook smiles devilishly at the exact reaction he was hoping to pull from you. 

Your head falls forward as you cry into your palms, the kindhearted words from both him and Jihyo making your heart clench from all the love it’s receiving. Jungkook returns to his seat to console you, letting you cry on his shoulder instead. 

“You said my name,” you whimper.

The sound of his low chuckle meets your ears.

“Don’t get used to it, Bambi.”

He places multiple kisses between the strands of your hair and wipes the remaining tears away after you raise your head. If you weren’t currently surrounded by loved ones, you’d kiss him senseless and probably drop to your knees if you’re being totally honest.

When you glance around the room after falling back into your chair with a sigh, you notice your mom dabbing her waterline with a tissue while his mom reapplies the makeup under her eyes. You giggle and nudge Jungkook to show him, and he joins in your adoration of the two women with a loving shake of his head. 

Following dinner, your four friends run a series of typical baby shower games, some of which are guessing games while others require basic baby knowledge. 

You barely partake in the festivities yourself, too busy goofing off with Jungkook as he writes the most incorrect answers imaginable. The two of you laugh hysterically through every question as if you’re the only ones present, despite being the sole reason for the celebration.

An executive decision is made to open gifts at home rather than have everyone watch you ooh and aww at baby trinkets for an hour. It’s far more appealing to you to walk around and mingle with your loved ones, which is precisely what you do after dessert. 

“It’s the woman of the hour!” Yunjin cheers as you place yourself on Chaewon’s lap and rest your head on her shoulder.

“Thank you guys so much for coming,” you tell them.

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Hoseok states.

“We’re so happy for you, Y/N, and we’re so excited to be aunts and uncles,” Namjoon says.

“Also, are you and Jungkook like… a thing, because eyes don’t lie and that man is googoo gaga for you,” Eunchae asks. 

“And it’s not like you’re any better,” Yoongi adds.

You nibble on your lip as your eyes peruse the room and land on Jungkook’s silhouette standing beside your dads. 

“No, at least, not officially, but something’s definitely changed recently,” you answer honestly.

“How so?” Jin asks.

“You guys know how we went through that awful miscarriage scare last month?” They all nod. “Well, ever since then it feels like the energy’s shifted. Neither of us have said anything, but I know we both feel it. I mean, I’ve slept in his bed every night since, we constantly kiss outside of sexual activities, and we’ve started casually calling each other baby.”

“Oh, so you guys are like, in love love,” Jimin states.

“I don’t know,” you respond. “He’s always taken up nearly my entire heart, but I’m still figuring out if he’s finally got a monopoly on it or not.”

“Y/N, honey, you said so yourself you’ve never been happier,” Chaewon notes. “Don’t overthink it.”

You flash her a grateful smile as a thank you for her advice before telling them you’ll see them later and going to converse with your other guests.  

At one point, you realize you haven’t seen Taehyung or Mina in a while and do a once over of the room. When you spot them cuddled up in the back corner giggling to each other, you smirk. They hooked up once a few years ago before Mina started dating Mingyu, and you would be more than happy to see them rekindle their affair.

You catch Jungkook’s attention from across the room and point to them as nonchalantly as possible. When his eyes land on them, they light up and he makes a proud OK sign with his hand. 

Some people stay for a while and others wish you good luck with the delivery before sunset, but by the time Jungkook is done loading all the presents in your dad’s truck, only your parents remain.  

“Oh, shit, I don’t have a car,” Jungkook states when he returns for a final sweep of the room. “I drove over here with Tzuyu.”

It wouldn’t normally be an issue since you and him could drive home together, but for storage purposes your parents are taking the gifts home and he has to follow behind your dad to help bring them inside. 

“Just take my car and I’ll go with my mom,” you suggest.

Everyone exchanges goodbyes and you tell Jungkook you’ll see him later at home. He bends down to kiss your cheek after you hug him, and it forces you to hide a radiant blush crawling up your face and neck.

It’s familiar being in the passenger seat of your mom’s car, although it's been a while. She drives through the city towards your house with the radio on low, but you can already tell she’s itching to speak.

“Sweetie, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Sensing where this is going, you inhale exasperatedly. “No, don’t give me excuses. I know you’ve been keeping things from me because you don’t want me to get my hopes up.”

You sit back in your seat, your arms crossing over each other. 

“It’s just not any of your business, Mom,” you tell her.

“I don’t need to know everything, especially that stuff, but I can tell you have a lot on your mind. And I know something is going on. I see the way you look at him and how he looks at you. It’s not the same as it was before.” She squeezes your thigh lovingly. “Just talk to me, sweetheart.”

“There… there isn’t much to say.” She sends a disapproving glance in your direction. “Okay, yeah, maybe things have changed, but I don’t know in what way yet. I think we’re both happy with the way things are and don’t feel a need to label it or discuss it. Maybe once the baby’s born, we will.”

“Are you alright with that? You usually tell Jungkook everything the very moment it enters your mind.”

“It’s different this time. I’m not afraid to tell him or worry I’ll get rejected, but it just feels like we’re in this perfect bubble of joy and love and I don’t want to pop it.”

“What if it doesn’t pop, though? What if it makes the bubble even stronger?”

You toss her words around in your mind, nodding your head as your brain parses through the information.

“That would be nice.”

“I’m not trying to pressure you, sweetie, and I don’t want you to ever take my feelings into account when yours are the only ones that matter, but I want all the happiness in the world for you and that boy is heaven sent.”

“Yeah,” you agree with a smile. “He is. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

“That would be me,” she proudly reminds you. 

You laugh with your head thrown back. And to think, the only reason you’re all here today is because their university randomly assigned them to be roommates. 

She drops you off at home with a hug and kiss on your cheek. Once inside, you hear Usagi meowing in annoyance at someone and when you round the corner, you see Jungkook rolling her back and forth on the couch as though she’s a furry rolling pin. He merely giggles at her indignation and attacks her little head with kisses. 

“Leave my daughter alone, will you?”

“Hey, she’s my daughter, too,” Jungkook retorts with a pout. When he turns over his shoulder to see you, the pout’s long gone and been replaced by a peaceful smile. “Did you have fun tonight, Bambi?”

He stands to full height and slides his hands into his pockets, still dressed in his attire from the evening sans the sport coat. His poor dress shirt is barely holding on by a thread where it lays across his chest, the buttons holding on for dear life to fit over the contours of his pecs. The slacks he’s wearing aren’t doing much better, with the black fabric stretched tight to accommodate the muscular thighs beneath. It makes both your mouth and pussy water.

“Of course, I did! I can’t thank you enough, Koo,” you say while meeting him by the couch. 

“There’s no need to thank me, baby. You deserve it.”

“Well, I can think of something that you deserve in return,” you propose using the sultry eyes you know he melts for everytime. 

His eyebrows twitch upwards, an anticipatory smile growing as he holds your gaze. Instead of waiting for a reply, your hand shoves at his shoulder to send him tumbling backwards into the couch. Knees automatically spreading wide open for you, you use your leverage on his thighs to kneel before him.

“Bams, you don’t have to,” he tells you, but his hand is already in your hair as you unbuckle his belt. 

“I want to.” You bend down to kiss him over his boxers once his pants are in a puddle around his ankles. “I want to so fucking bad, baby.”

Jungkook moans when your tongue presses down on the fabric and causes his dick to twitch. You quickly pull the garment down his legs and let it fall atop his slacks. He’s already sporting a semi that makes your thighs clench, the sight of his thick cock slowly becoming one of your favorites. 

Pumping him with your hand, you kiss and bite his thick thighs until he’s rock hard and leaking precum down your palm. You lick over his slit with a hungry moan and Jungkook throws his head back against the couch in response. 

“Oh, babygirl, that feels so fucking good.”

His hand becomes a ponytail, pulling all the strands away from your face so you can work unhindered and he has a clear view of you sucking him off. 

Your lips leisurely wrap around his head while you stare into his steadily darkening eyes. When you use suction and torturously swirl your tongue beneath the ridge separating the head from his shaft, Jungkook’s hips buck up involuntarily and you have to hold him still by his thighs. Slowly, all without ever looking away, you sink lower and lower until you’re gagging around him because he’s scratching the back of your throat. 

Jungkook cries out in pleasure, his free hand grasping desperately onto one of yours to give him something to hold onto. 

Swallowing a couple times while he’s buried deep in your throat, you allow a teasingly long moment to pass before finally sticking your tongue out and bobbing your head along his cock. He groans deliriously and his thighs shake as you sloppily work your mouth over him, doing so because you know exactly how much he loves to see the drool spilling from your lips. 

“Good girl, that’s my good fucking girl,” Jungkook praises nonsensically. “Mouth was fucking made for me.”

When you moan around him in agreement, your spit meets his balls below and you use it as an excuse to play with them in your free hand. Jungkook’s jaw clenches and the hand holding yours harshly squishes your digits together. You change gears upon the realization of how worked up the action makes him, sucking one of his balls into your mouth and replacing your tight throat with your hand.

“Oh, Jesus, Bams,” he shouts as you suckle the sensitive skin. 

After languidly curling your tongue around him for a moment, you switch and repeat the treatment for the other one, mirroring the pace of your hand to match the way your tongue works his sack. Returning to the main event, you flatten your tongue along the underside of his shaft until reaching the tip and spitting on him so you can bring him between your lips again.

Unfortunately, you’re only able to take him into your warm throat a few more times before he’s pulling you away by your hair.

You pout and place your hands on your hips.

“Koo, I wanna swallow your cum.”

“Nuh uh, I’m gonna put another fucking baby in you,” he states, his eyes completely overtaken by lust.

Jungkook manhandles you like a ragdoll until you’re face down ass up on the couch with him situated behind you. His hands grab the bottom hem of your dress and flip it upwards to reveal your underwear, which you only realize he rips off of you when you hear the sound of the fabric tearing.

“Koo!”

“Don’t complain when you know I can buy you a thousand more.” His fingers immediately find your pussy to check if you’re wet enough, and when you hear the pleased chuckle from behind you, you know he’s got his answer. “You got this wet just from sucking me off, baby?” 

You nod your head and Jungkook smacks your ass hard enough to leave a mark. 

“Yes!” Jungkook hums in satisfaction and you whine when he soothes the burn with his palm. “Jungkook, baby, please fuck me.”

You compliment your begging by wiggling your ass, and Jungkook moans appreciatively at the sight, his fingers grasping your flesh possessively. He slowly runs his dick along your sopping wet folds and you automatically keen and whimper for more. His movements continue that way for a tauntingly long amount of time, teasing you with just enough to keep you from going crazy. The only relief you’re given is when his tip brushes against your sensitive nub and provides you with delicious friction. 

An angrier version of your prior instruction is about to leave your mouth when Jungkook brutally spears you on his cock. In one single stroke he’s entirely sheathed within your walls and you scream out in ecstasy while your head falls forward. His pace can only be described as goddamn insane, or maybe those are just the only words you can think of when the huge dick ramming into your pussy is making your brain blank.

From behind Jungkook’s tip kisses your cervix with every thrust and you moan without restraint as he monstrously fucks your cunt open. His hand returns to your hair, the other one clutching the back of the couch so he can keep a steady rhythm. You feel his wet balls slapping your clit with every stroke and it makes you bite down on the skin of your hand. 

“Gonna fucking ruin you, Bams,” he warns. “I don’t want you to be able to walk tomorrow, you got that?”

“Fuck, yes,” you agree without a second thought. 

You can stay in bed all day for all you care, all you want is for Jungkook to keep stretching you apart and making you his. You don’t want your pussy to remember any other shape but his cock, want your flesh to memorize every ridge and vein so it knows exactly who’s coming home when he enters you. 

Jungkook was already close when he started fucking you, so he’s doing everything he can for you to reach the same precipice. He repeatedly slams his hips into your ass as he yanks hard enough on your hair that he can almost see your eyes from his position. His hand wraps around your throat, pressing down on your jugular until his fingers leave blotchy, red marks. A second later, he’s forcing you upright until your back meets his chest and he traps you there by looping his other arm beneath your tits. 

The new angle makes you whine pathetically as he buries his dick so deep you feel him in your throat. 

“Baby, holy shit.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook licks the sweat off your neck. “Whose pussy is this, baby?”

“Yours,” you moan weakly.

You would be more than willing to scream from the rooftops just how much your body belongs to him, but you can’t exactly speak very loud when you’re choking on the euphoria he’s providing you.

Coincidentally, your volume isn’t good enough for Jungkook.

“Louder,” he growls right into your ear.

“It’s yours, Jungkook!”

“That’s fucking right.”

His hand leaves your neck after gently constricting your airway to massage your clit instead, pushing two of his fingers into your mouth to lubricate them first. He circles and presses down hard on the nub to make you keen and throw your head back against his shoulder. He utterly devours your neck from behind, his spit coating your skin in a pretty sheen as he moves from one spot to the next. 

You feel his hand disappear from your pussy and whine disapprovingly, but then his middle fingers are sliding into your mouth again so you can suck your juices off his digits. Erotically licking around and between his fingers, you hollow your cheeks and suck so he can feel your tight throat again. 

He groans and bites on your earlobe.

“So good for me, Bambi,” he whispers darkly. “You’re fucking perfect, baby.” 

He removes his fingers from your mouth and they return to your cunt, rubbing your clit in fast circles to get you to where you need to be.

“I’m — fuck. I’m close, Koo.”

“Atta girl. Come on this fat cock,” he commands. 

Jungkook releases you and pushes you down by your shoulder blades, forcing your cheek into the cushions as you arch and match his cadence by thrusting your hips backwards. You scream into the fabric when he speeds up and abuses your hole at a demonic pace. 

The clapping is obscene and deafening, and you’re fairly certain you hear his pans rattling in the kitchen from where they hang down. 

Your climax builds to an impossible level before crashing over you like a tsunami wave of pure pleasure. There’s a combination of drool and tears left behind on the couch cushions. The room goes white when your vision blanks, your legs twitching along with your pussy as the orgasm tears through you and you helplessly sob Jungkook’s name.

The feeling of Jungkook’s seed filling your cunt makes you cry his name repeatedly like a prayer, the sensation of it dripping down your thighs heavenly enough to make your eyesight blur.

Jungkook pants irregularly for a while before pulling out and resting on your back, the two of you toppling down and lying flat against the couch as your bodies return to normalcy. 

“Goddamn, Bambi,” Jungkook huffs. 

“Me?” 

Jungkook just laughs breathlessly, kissing your cheek through the curtain of your hair. 

You remain as deadweight together on the couch until you finally feel whole enough to return to earth, and once you do, you walk hand-in-hand to Jungkook’s bedroom to catch a good night’s sleep.

A couple days later, after you can indeed walk properly again, you’re completing miscellaneous chores around the house while Jungkook finishes securing the furniture in the nursery.

It’s already been an outrageously long day, especially with the weight of your unborn child applying a disastrous amount of pressure on your lower back. Your little one’s recent growth spurt makes it nearly impossible to stand for longer than thirty minutes without reprieve. When Jungkook comes downstairs and notices you rubbing your lower back with one hand while white-knuckling the counter with the other, he rushes to you and replaces your hand with his own to massage your spine.

“Oh, thank you,” you sigh in relief. 

“I got you, babygirl,” he says with a kiss to your shoulder. A moment later he seemingly remembers something, an adorable noise of realization coming from beside you. “Wait, I saw something on the internet I wanted to try.”

“Jungkook, no.”

“No, wait, Bams, it’s supposed to help!”

You eye him dangerously over your shoulder, alerting him without a word that if this is a prank he’ll be in for a rude awakening. 

He ignores your warning glance and uses his hands to stand you upright. You feel his arms circling you to hold beneath your baby bump and you’re ready to ask what he’s doing when suddenly the weight of your womb and the pressure on your back disappears. 

Looking down, you see Jungkook holding your stomach up for you, relieving the ache and allowing you to breathe freely. 

“Oh, wow, that’s really nice,” you mumble as your head falls to his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm.”

“I’ll do it as long as you like, Bams,” he tells you honestly. 

He does exactly that, holding the weight of your unborn child on your behalf for about ten minutes while you relish in the feeling of being weightless for a while. The act eventually joins his foot rubs and serenades as a part of your regular routine.

You’re lounging on the couch reading another parenting book while Jungkook plays a video game with your feet in his lap. It’s actually a test run for the game he’s been designing, and Jimin was absolutely right about him giving your character huge boobs. They’re tasteful, though, and you don’t mind because she’s a total badass. 

The game is currently distracting you from your book when you feel a strange sensation in your belly. You jump a little, looking down at your baby bump which is on display since you’re only wearing a bralette. The sensation happens again, and now that you’re watching intently, you see something move beneath your skin. 

Gasping in excitement, you begin hitting Jungkook with your book to grab his attention.

“Koo! Koo! The baby is kicking,” you shout even though he’s inches away from you.

His reaction is instantaneous, pausing the game and tossing the controller unceremoniously on the couch. Your hand traverses your belly so you can feel the next kick, and when you do, it makes you squeal and giggle in amazement. 

“Here, give me your hand,” you say and he stretches his arm towards you in response.

Placing his hand where you felt the movement, you wait and watch his face instead of your belly, wanting to see his reaction when he feels his baby move for the first time. The sensation comes, and you see Jungkook’s brow crease before his whole face lights up, his big brown eyes sparkling brighter than any star in the galaxy. 

“That’s… that’s our little one?” He asks in awe. You nod repeatedly and he smiles so big it takes up his entire face. “Hi, baby,” he coos in adoration, bending down to kiss all over your stomach. 

They kick again while he’s smooching you and he yelps in surprise at the feeling. 

You’re both blushing and giggling like schoolgirls with a crush, already so completely spellbound by your child. 

Jungkook carefully crawls over you to kiss you, but it’s all teeth and tongue because you can’t stop smiling even while trying to lock lips. You whimper in pain after a moment and Jungkook pulls back to check on you, his hand rising to caress your cheek.

“Seems our baby found my spine to kick instead,” you groan. 

Jungkook frowns and runs his thumb along your cheekbone.

“I guess wanting them to grow up to be a soccer player isn’t such a good thing after all,” he notes. Then, a thought occurs to him and his eyes light up again while he giggles to himself. “Hey, guess what?”

“Hmm?”

“Bambi.” He points to you. “And Thumper.” He points to your bump.

An endeared giggle completely overtakes your body, the back of your head hitting the arm of the couch while you rapidly kick your feet. 

“That’s so cute, Koo!” You hold his face in your hands. “Our family Halloween costumes are gonna be freaking adorable!” 

Jungkook’s expression turns saccharine as his eyes trace over your features in wonderment, and his gaze makes you realize it’s the first time you’re referring to yourselves as a family. The notion is obvious, but hearing the word aloud causes both your hearts to leap into your throat. You share in an adoring chuckle again, your foreheads meeting as you serenely close your eyes.

EIGHT

Jungkook blares “It’s the Final Countdown” from his Bluetooth speaker as he enthusiastically skips around the living room, both Bam and Usagi trailing after him in wonder. You’re too busy laughing from your place on the couch to join them. 

Today is exactly one month from your due date, and you’re prepared for this to be the single longest month of your life. The last eight have felt more like eight years, but you’re so close to the promised land, and you can hardly wait to bring your little one home. If you’re lucky, the baby may even come a little early and save you some heartache. 

And the heartache is literal, since one of the latest symptoms to add itself to the disastrous mix is intense heartburn. Couple that with the incessant kicking your child’s been getting up to lately, and your entire torso feels like it’s under siege. 

Jungkook does everything he can to help, such as constantly passing you Tums and playfully scolding your baby to stop kicking so much. He even went so far as to lace up his boxing gloves and have a sparring match with your baby bump. The extreme laughter born from his antics ended up hurting your stomach more than the kicking. 

The chemistry between you has been steadily increasing for some time, the line between friends and lovers practically blurring into obscurity, but you both welcome the feeling with open arms. 

You don’t find it necessary to broach the topic. You and Jungkook have never needed words to communicate, always knowing precisely what the other is thinking with a single glance, and it’s no different in this scenario.

Every time your eyes meet you know he feels the same; you’re no longer just best friends, and that’s alright.

About a week later you’re in the nursery together working on some finishing touches to the decor. Jungkook is hanging the mobile above the crib while you place the astronomical amount of clothes you received from your surprise baby shower in the closet. The nursery is positively jam packed from all the gifts people gave you last month, every corner of the room bursting with clothes, books, toys, and accessories. Even though the ample amount of supplies is overwhelming, knowing your little one is already so loved makes you abundantly happy. 

Chaewon even crocheted the perfect gender neutral blanket, despite her original complaints about the gender being unknown. 

Since the gender is a surprise, you and Jungkook haven’t discussed baby names all that much. Some general ideas have been thrown around, including family names and a sarcastic suggestion of “JJ” for Jungkook Jr. But you both share in the, perhaps naive, belief that as soon as you see them you’ll somehow know exactly what their name should be. 

Jungkook’s work phone rings, and you briefly glance over your shoulder to see him exiting the room as he answers the call. Usagi happily trots inside with the door wide open and curls up in the little reading nook. You give her some well deserved head pats while she purrs in content before continuing with your assigned task. Once all the clothes are either hung up or housed in the proper drawers, you leave the room to check on Jungkook.

When you find him after descending the stairs, he’s standing at the kitchen island drinking a glass of water which he slams down once it’s empty. Your eyebrows quirk up at the harsh motion, wondering what the call could’ve been about to elicit such a reaction.

“Koo, is everything alright?”

Jungkook shakes his head and rests his elbows on the counter so he can cradle his head in his hands.

“They need me to go to Japan for a meeting with some execs,” he tells you. 

“For how long?”

“Three days minimum, but it could be up to a week.”

“A week? Jungkook, I’m more than eight months pregnant.”

“Yeah, I know, Bambi, I told them that!” He explains in exasperation. “Fuck, this sucks so bad.”

You take a deep breath so at least one of you remains calm. Once you’re beside him, you attempt to massage the tension away from his back and shoulders.

“It’ll be okay. Japan is only a short airplane ride away. Worst comes to worst, you fly back if I go into labor,” you state.

“It’s not just if you go into labor, Bams. This is our last month before the baby is born. We’ve still got a ton to do!”

“The nursery is almost done, and either of our parents or friends can come over to help me clean and baby proof the house.” You tug on his shoulder so he turns around before cupping his face in your hands. “It’ll be fine, baby, I promise.”

Jungkook sighs before nuzzling his head against your hand, pursing his lips to press a couple chaste kisses to your palm. Afterwards he removes your hands from his face altogether to hold them between his own.

“I just don’t want to be away from you, baby,” he admits. “Not now and especially not for that long.”

Your cheeks grow warm in response to his words and you attempt to pacify his melancholy by giving him a tender kiss on the lips.

“I don’t want to be away from you, either, but I’m sure it will go by in the blink of an eye,” you reassure him. 

He aggressively pouts, practically giving himself duck lips, despite knowing it’s the truth. He brings you to his chest for a hug and you snuggle deeper into the embrace, allowing his familiar, comforting scent to encompass you.

You still have the weekend together before Jungkook flies out early Monday morning. You spend the majority of the time cuddling on the couch watching your favorite movies and playing with your fur babies as Bam chases a bone and Usagi hunts for the laser pointer. It’s heartwarmingly domestic and you hope it’ll always be this way, especially once your baby arrives.

Whenever you’re lounging around, Jungkook always lies as close as possible to your belly and it warms your heart to watch his fingers trace little hearts and smiley faces across your skin. 

Even after eight months he still upholds the tradition of coming downstairs first thing in the morning and caressing your baby bump while whispering “hi, my little papaya.” The only difference now is the adorable behavior is immediately followed by him pecking your lips and whispering “hi, my baby” to you.

You’re fully aware that when Monday rolls around you’re going to be a total basket case. The two of you haven’t been apart for more than a day since you got pregnant, and the thought of going a whole week without him when you’re this close to the finish line is borderline unbearable. 

Especially because your third trimester hormones have turned you into a raving lunatic as of late. Crocodile tears form in your eyes over nearly everything and your temper flips on a dime, which you always profusely apologize to Jungkook for whenever he’s on the receiving end. Two weeks ago, you found a dead spider on the ground and started weeping hysterically, so it’s safe to say the time away from Jungkook is going to leave you a complete mess. 

When you do say goodbye, you make a valiant effort at staying strong, but then Jungkook kisses you reverently, both his hands cupping your cheeks as he pours every once of his devotion into your mouth and you shatter into a million pieces. Your tears get trapped between your faces as your lips mold together, but Jungkook diligently wipes them away when he parts from you. 

His forehead presses to yours when he whispers that he loves you and he’ll be back soon before departing with a final grace of his lips to your brow. 

You wail Disney Princess style on his bed as soon as the door clicks shut behind you. It’s downright pathetic, but you don’t care because Usagi is the sole witness to your display. The sheets smell like him and it only serves to make matters worse. It’s only been five minutes and you feel like you miss him down to your very bones already.

Even though he’s far away, you still sleep in his bed rather than your own. You haven’t slept in the guest bedroom originally meant for you in well over two months, and it feels wrong to stay there just because he’s gone. 

Jungkook remains in constant contact with you, which helps ease the heartache of being apart. He messages you at every milestone, from the moment he arrives at the airport, to when his plane lands, and then again when he reaches the hotel. He sends photos and selfies, too, which fills you with exuberant warmth while simultaneously bringing on more tears.

You wallow in self-pity the whole first day, eating an entire tub of ice cream while you watch cheesy romantic comedies. Various friends and family come over the following day to help around the house, which you genuinely appreciate more than words can describe because there is still so much to do. On the third morning without Jungkook, your moms visit and the three of you chat over sparkling grape juice about anything and everything to expect.

They explain all the intimate details of the birthing process they can remember, such as what contractions and labor feel like, and how the brief hospital stay will go prior to bringing the baby home. Your mom goes into grave detail about how awful you’ll feel afterwards and Jungkook’s mom adds more pack to the punch by mentioning how difficult caring for a newborn is while healing from the delivery. 

They assure you everything will be fine, though, and that they’ll be here everyday if you need them. The three of you also agree you truly have nothing to worry about when you have someone as wonderful as Jungkook to care for you.

“Why did you guys want to be pregnant at the same time so badly anyway?” You ask them out of pure curiosity. 

“Well, truth be told, and don’t tell Kookie this, but we were actually hoping you would both be girls so we could have this adorable, little, four way mother-daughter relationship,” Jungkook’s mom tells you. 

You chuckle at her admission and your mind begins to wonder just how different your life would be if that had been the case.

“Honestly, though, this outcome is so much better!” Your mom exclaims. “Now we get to be grandparents together.”

“I’m sure that wasn’t part of the plan,” you state.

“Not at first, no,” Jungkook’s mom says. “But I think we knew as you guys got older, especially after college, that it was only a matter of time.”

“You know, you guys aren’t the only people to say that and I genuinely don’t get it,” you say. “I’m head over heels for him now, no doubt about it, but before, I truly didn’t see him that way. I mean, we grew up together, we were closer than most brothers and sisters are for the majority of our lives.”

“I don’t think it’s about how you felt at the time,” your mom explains. “I think it’s the way you interact, how much you care about one another. There’s one else who could ever give you the love you deserve more than each other.”

As you process her comment, the cogwheels in your mind synthesize and you finally understand what everyone’s been telling you all this time. What Nayeon said about your feelings for him being more than those of a relationship and Chaewon telling you not to overthink things. No one’s presented the notion to you this way before, and something about your mother’s words causes everything to click into place. 

You’re together now because it’s as easy as breathing, and whether you initially had romantic feelings for each other or not, no one can compare.

On day four you’re alone again and you go genuinely stir crazy. Poor Bam has to take the brunt of your brief mental insanity as you cry into his fur and lay across him in a desperate attempt to gain some sort of warmth and comfort. 

Although, you don’t need his services for long, because Jungkook calls like he has every night, but this time he has good news.

“Guess who’s coming home early tomorrow?”

“Really?” You shout into the receiver, your hands still covered in chip dust from eating your feelings. 

“Yup, first flight out of here tomorrow morning,” he tells you.

“Ah! Koo, I’m so excited!”

“Me, too, baby,” he says. “I miss you like crazy, been thinking about you 24/7.”

“Me, too,” you respond. “I think our little one misses you, too. They’ve been restless ever since you left.”

“Have you been playing the mixtape for them?”

“Yes, but it isn’t the same, and I honestly think they’ve gotten picky about it. Live vocals are just so much better, you know?”

Jungkook chuckles and even through the phone you can tell he’s smiling. 

“I’ll make sure to serenade them immediately upon my return,” he states.

“Nuh uh!” You pout even though he can’t see you. “I take priority here, mister.”

“Oh, you’re right. I’m sorry, Bams,” he laughs. “You’ll always be my number one.”

The two of you continue to talk about your respective days for a while. Jungkook explains all the cool gaming stuff he’s gotten to see while at the headquarters in Japan and you parry with your accomplishment of watching all five Twilight movies in a single day. You reluctantly hang up after a couple hours with a quick “I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Tomorrow ends up being a complete disaster. 

There’s extreme thunderstorms throughout the entire region, so as soon as you wake up, you see a text from Jungkook informing you his flight’s been delayed by about two hours. It’s no biggie at first, knowing these things happen and it shouldn’t keep him from you for that much longer. But one delay turns to two, which becomes three, and after eight delays, his flight is finally moved to an entirely different airline and won’t be arriving until the following day at approximately three in the morning. 

He tells you not to wait up for him and get your sleep, but there’s no way in hell you’re waiting even another second to see him. 

Even once he lands, it’s still down pouring and the taxi takes another thirty minutes to reach him. He gives you periodic updates, including some heartbreaking selfies of him pouting by the luggage carousel, but despite being able see his handsome face through the phone, it’s all so frustrating you could rip your hair right out of your head. 

By the time his location icon starts moving towards the house, you’ve been pacing the floor like a mad woman for close to an hour. 

Your incessant pacing screeches to a halt when you hear the sound of his footsteps bounding up the stairs and the key turning in the lock. You scurry across the floor as fast as your swollen, pregnant feet will carry you, waiting just behind the door for the reveal of your favorite sight in the world. Although, when the door swings open, you don’t get the chance to admire him before your face is squished against his. 

The very moment Jungkook sees you, he takes your face in his hands and smashes his lips on yours as though he’ll die if he doesn’t. His hungry mouth silences your noise of surprise, coaxing your mouth open and allowing his tongue to invade the space as he kisses you until you can’t see straight. Muscle memory makes it all too easy for him to guide you away from the door and into the wall. You moan when your back meets the hard surface and Jungkook groans in satisfaction at the sound, using his hips to trap you between him and the drywall. 

The warm hands on your skin, taut body flush to yours, and delicious mouth utterly devouring you completely shuts down your senses until all you can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel are him. 

Hands reaching up to grab the collar of his shirt, you tug him impossibly close, even though your bodies are already touching in every place possible. He’s kissing you like he never has before and somehow you still want more. Your hands release the fabric to traverse the planes of his chest and hold his shoulders, eventually moving upwards to caress his neck and jaw. 

He’s completely soaked from the rain, his hair dripping cold water droplets onto your skin and his soiled clothes transferring the liquid onto your own, but there isn’t a single piece of you that minds. He can drench you in acid for all you care, as long as he stays this close and keeps kissing you like this. 

Jungkook pulls a centimeter away, his lips still brushing yours as he breathes erratically as though he ran all the way from the airport. 

“I’m so in love with you,” he pants. “I’m fucking crazy about you, Bambi.” He shakes his head in disbelief of his confidence to finally confess. “I was going to wait to tell you until after the baby’s born, but being away from you was fucking torture and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.”

“Hold it in? How long have you felt this way?” 

Your eyes stare into his with wonder.

“Since we thought we were gonna lose the baby,” he tells you. “I was driving you to the doctor’s office and it felt like the whole world was crashing down around me, but then I realized that’s okay. That if that happened, it wouldn’t matter. The zombie apocalypse could destroy all of humanity, the tectonic plates could shift and send entire continents into the sea, and it wouldn’t matter as long as I have you.” He inhales while gently shaking his head and spraying you with rainwater. “And that’s not new, I’ve always felt that way about you. I’ve always known I want you by my side for the rest of my life, but it made me realize I don’t want anyone else by my side. I only want you, baby.”

“Jungkook, you kept that from me for two months?” You ask incredulously.

“We have a lot going on at the moment, Bams,” he explains.

“Sure, but the stuff we have going on is stressful. Your feelings for me aren’t stressful.”

Jungkook’s eyes burn with intensity as he analyzes the meaning of your words. 

“Why not?”

“What?”

“Why aren’t they stressful, Bambi?”

“Because.” You shrug like what you’re about to say is the most obvious truth of the universe. “Well, because I’m in love with y — mmpf.”

Jungkook ceases the remainder of your confession with a divine kiss. Your mouths move in perfect harmony and you swear you see the sun peaking through the rain clouds outside. It doesn’t seem possible, but you can feel every ounce of Jungkook’s love for you on his tongue as it traces your lips and tangles with your own.

“Say it again,” he requests. “Please.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Again, don’t stop.”

“I love you.” Kiss. “I’m so, stupidly, madly.” Kiss. “Crazy in love with you, Jungkook.” Kiss. “I love you so much.” Kiss. “I love you more than anything.” Kiss. “More than I’ll ever be able to describe.” Kiss. “Jungkook.” Kiss. “You’re my everything.” Kiss. “I love you, Koo.”

You aren’t able to chant your emotions anymore because Jungkook doesn’t give you time to breathe, let alone speak. 

His hands are still firmly cradling your face, both your lips refusing to part from one another for a single second. He tastes like honey and vanilla, most likely from the sweets you know he had on the plane. It’s addicting and hypnotizes you completely until all you can think about is him and all you can do is kiss him with all your might. 

Jungkook’s hands travel to the back of your head and tangle in your hair. He uses the leverage to tilt your head so he can kiss across your jaw and neck, biting down softly before sucking over the same spot and making you whimper helplessly for him. 

The attention on your neck only lasts momentarily before he’s releasing you to grab your ass instead, but you stop him by gripping his biceps.

“Baby, you can’t lift me right now, I’m too heavy,” you warn him.

Jungkook looks so offended he takes two full steps away from you, one of his eyebrows rising in disbelief as his jaw ticks. He even goes so far as to scoff while cracking his neck. Then, for the sole purpose of proving you wrong, he effortlessly lifts you into his arms and you have to scramble to latch onto him with your arms around his neck and legs around his waist.

“You wanna try that again, Bams?”

“No,” you grumble under your breath.

The sound of his proud chuckle meets your ears as he seamlessly carries up the stairs and into his bedroom. He tosses you unceremoniously onto the bed, your body bouncing when you land as you giggle in excitement. 

You wait for him to join you, reaching towards him with a pout when he isn’t instantly on top of you, but he only rests one knee on the edge of the mattress.

“Wait, since when have you known?”

“Honestly?” Jungkook nods rapidly. “I have no fucking clue. It’s just like my nickname. I have no idea when or where it happened. I just know all of the sudden you were the first thing on my mind when I woke up, and I got butterflies when we were together, and I wanted to hold your hand, cuddle you, and go on dates. It’s like I just woke up one day and realized I fell in love with you but have no way of tracing it to an exact origin.”

Jungkook smiles and shakes his head knowingly.

“That’s so you.”

“I know, I’m a freaking space cadet!”

“My space cadet,” Jungkook says, finally moving to hover above you. “Also, I know how you got your nickname.”

“Huh?” You frown deeply. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve always known, but I thought it was cute that none of you could remember,” he explains. “It felt like it was my own little secret.”

“Koo!”

Jungkook laughs while scrunching his nose in adoration, his arms shaking where they rest on either side of your head.

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you. We were watching the movie in my living room and you just wouldn’t stop crying after Bambi’s mom died, like full blown hysterical tears. So, to cheer you up I said ‘it’s okay, Bambi,’ and you smiled SO big and your eyes lit up like fireworks. I knew then it had to be your nickname.”

Your lip catches between your teeth as you will the sentimental tears not to fall. The notion of Jungkook knowing this whole time is both infuriating and also so heartwarming; that his nickname for you is so precious to him he didn’t dare share the secret of its beginning. 

“That’s so you,” you reply to his story.

He radiantly beams at you, his cheeks and ears turning bright pink from the blush spreading across them. You share in your affectionate laughter as he drops to his elbows so he can kiss you. 

“I love you so much, Bambi,” he whispers. “You’re everything to me, baby.”

The tears you successfully held back before make their debut, wetting both his and your cheeks as they roll away from your eyes. 

Even though you’ve known for a while now this confession was imminent, it’s still just as mesmerizing to hear the words from his lips and be able to say them in return.

The kiss begins with fluid, languid motions, your mouths dancing together for the millionth time, but then Jungkook raises the temperature of the room, greedily licking into your mouth and tugging on your lower lip with his teeth before letting it snap into place. The air fills with moans and whines as you make out, but you stop him with a hand to his chest when you feel him grinding against you.

“Wait, Koo, sex can induce labor,” you tell him.

“Okay,” he draws out the word. “So, we get it on and meet our little one a bit early, isn’t that a win-win situation?”

You chuckle and mentally berate yourself for believing his answer would be anything besides that. Rolling your eyes with an affectionate smile, you briefly peck his lips before smacking his ass.

“Deal, but I’m getting on top.”

Jungkook certainly isn’t going to object to you riding his dick. 

He holds you by the waist and rolls you both over, helping you settle in his lap and caressing your outline as his eyes memorize the vision of you above him. His fingers grip the bottom of your shirt to pull it over your head and then he does the same for his own. 

You don’t let him continue undressing, too mesmerized by his chiseled torso to allow the sight to be hindered. He’s been working out more these last few months as a way to unwind from the stress of preparing for fatherhood, and it’s definitely paid off. You’ve always known how blessed you are to have him, but moments like this remind you just how blessed you truly are.

His neck is your initial target while your hands run along his abs, sinking your nails into the hard lines and creating red marks across his pretty muscles. Jungkook whines at the feeling, his hand reactively grabbing the back of your head as you mark his neck with pretty, wet blotches. 

“Please don’t tease me, baby,” he says. “I need you so fucking bad.”

“You’re the one who left me alone for five days,” you reply in between kisses to his jugular. “I’ll take however long I want.”

Taking your time traversing his shoulder and collarbones, you trace over every muscle and bone with your lips, soaking his skin as your tongue drags across the area. His hand keeps a firm grip on your head, slightly guiding your movements, but still allowing you to savor his upper body despite his request. You bite into his pecs and circle his nipple with your tongue, making his hips bucks beneath you as he groans. 

You giggle like the brat you are at his neediness, already feeling his cock stiffening where your core rests against his crotch.

It honestly takes an exuberant amount of effort to stop painting his torso in kisses, reluctantly pulling away after licking across the entire expanse of his stomach down to his hips and placing a single smooch on all eight of his abdominal muscles. 

Jungkook forces your lips to meet his when you’re done, kissing you like he’s starving for you as he removes both your bottoms in quick succession.

He can feel just how wet you are as soon as your bare cunt meets his length, your essence already leaking all over him without him having to do any work. It brings a smile to his face as you kiss, the feeling of pride turning his chest red with blush because of his effect on you. 

“Missed you so fucking much, babygirl.”

The words have barely left Jungkook’s lips when he grabs your hips to position you over his cock. His fingers wrap around his shaft so you have a perfect target to sink onto, and the familiar feeling of him stretching you open as you sit on his thighs makes your head lull while you breathlessly moan.

“Oh fuck, baby,” you mewl. “I missed you so bad.”

Jungkook is pulling your face to his so he can kiss you before you even start bouncing on him, his other hand grabbing your ass and squeezing your flesh possessively. The kiss is quick, because soon after he’s turning your head and licking across the hot skin of your neck. His warm breath tickles your ear as he goes to speak. 

“This cock is all yours, Bams. So, be good and ride it for me, yeah?” 

You’d do anything he asks, and his words light up the competitive streak in you to give him the best fuck of his life. 

The temptress within you gets the better of you, and you decide to fully unsheath him from the walls of your pussy while grabbing his cock with your hand to keep him in place. He groans indignantly when your warmth leaves him, and you wait a few torturous moments before slowly letting him enter you again one inch at a time. 

Jungkook spanks you in retaliation, but you just chuckle and scratch at his pecs with your nails.  

Continuing the slow glide, you watch as Jungkook’s cock leaves your cunt covered in your juices until it disappears from view when your walls suck him in again. The erotic visual makes your body burn with wanton need. His thick cock repeatedly spearing you is truly a sight to behold and it feels even better than it looks. 

“Fuck, Bambi, don’t fucking do this to me.”

“Do what?” 

The faux innocent gaze your eyes possess makes Jungkook’s jaw clench. 

“I will demolish this fucking pussy. Don’t mess with me, baby,” he threatens. 

“I’d like to see you tr –” 

Jungkook cuts your air supply off completely with a single deadly thrust upwards, your sentence ending with a screech instead of the syllable it was supposed to. 

You aren’t able to replenish your oxygen because Jungkook’s hand is suddenly around your throat, pressing down on the sides to choke you without actually hurting you. His other hand bruisingly holds your hip so he can keep you exactly where he wants you. Your inner thighs meet his pelvis when he plants his feet against the mattress, giving him all the leverage he needs to fuck you dumb. 

“There we go, much better,” he grunts as he abuses your hole. 

“Koo, oh my God.” 

You’re grasping for purchase on his chest to keep yourself upright, eventually gripping his shoulders to prevent falling right over. The combination of his hand around your throat and his cock hitting just the right spot inside you has your mind going numb and your mouth dropping open. 

Jungkook’s completely focused on his singular goal of fucking you right, his brow creasing as his eyes sharpen with determination. He looks no less than ethereal below you, the sweat on his skin making him shimmer like the Greek god you’re positive he descends from. 

“Fuck, you’re so fucking handsome, Jungkook. It’s unreal.”

He blushes at your compliment even as his hips work endlessly to force his dick deep into your pussy. 

“That means a lot coming from someone as beautiful as you,” he says with honey coating his tone.

Unlike him, you’re unable to blush or even react, the speed and force of his strokes is plummeting your body into an ocean of euphoria and all you can do is drown. The sex is borderline demonic, and yet it feels like heaven coursing through your veins. 

It’s a genuine mystery of the universe how someone as kind and gentle as Jungkook can be such a goddamn animal in bed. 

If it wasn’t for your pregnant belly, you’re certain Jungkook’s cock would be making an appearance in your abdomen. His lower body is working overtime to send his thick length as far as possible into you and the sensation turns your mind to goo. You would love nothing more than to focus on the feeling of his muscles beneath your fingers, or the way his thighs smash into yours with every thrust, but you’re in a subspace of pleasure. 

“Fuck, Bams, you look so sexy,” he tells you, his voice dripping with desire. “Pussy filled with me, belly swollen with my child, your perfect tits full of milk. You’re fucking gorgeous, babygirl.”

As if to prove his point, he sits up to tug one of your nipples between his teeth. You gasp at the abrasion against your already sensitive skin, but the sound melts into a moan when he takes it into his mouth and sucks on the pebbled skin.

He plays with your nipple until it’s sore, flicking it with his tongue and then slowly circling it until you’re whining and gripping his hair like a lifeline. Wet kisses are placed all over your breast, slathering you in drool and red blotches where he chose to suck on your flesh. You think the debilitating treatment is over until he switches sides, making you cry with pleasure. 

There’s a pop when he releases your nub from his mouth to kiss along your sternum instead.

“You feel fucking amazing, baby. So big, make me feel so full,” you moan.

Jungkook hums proudly as his tongue leaves his mouth to the lick your collarbone.  

“I don’t know how I’ll survive six weeks without fucking this perfect, little cunt.”

His hand tightens around your throat again and you whimper, rolling your hips downward along with his movements to create friction on your clit.

“At least you’ll be able to jack off,” you retort.

“Mm, that can’t even hold a candle to you, baby,” he kisses across your shoulder, inch by inch until he reaches your neck. “I would know, it’s all I fucking did the last five days.” 

Jungkook’s hand leaves your throat with a final squeeze to join his other one at your hips, bringing you down against him with more ferocity as the sound of skin slapping together fills the room. 

“I’ve got you addicted, don’t I?”

“Fuck, you have no idea, Bambi.”

You continue fucking yourself on him to the best of your ability even with his brutal pace, feeling infinitely needier as your orgasm steadily approaches. 

Jungkook is reeking havoc on your neck, coating you in his saliva as he licks across your sweat soaked skin and kisses your most sensitive spots. He nibbles on your earlobe and it makes you keen and whimper unabashedly. 

Honestly, you don’t know how you’ll survive the six weeks either. The two of you have done nothing but fuck since a few weeks after you moved in, and the forced celibacy may very well send you spiraling into insanity. You’re addicted to him, too, and you already know you’ll be begging for his dick for the remainder of your days.

Craving more of you, Jungkook holds you firm against his chest and slams back into the mattress, readjusting his feet and the angle of his hips so he can terrorize your g-spot with the tip of his cock. 

“Oh, holy shit.”

You bite down on his shoulder as tears prick your eyes.

He growls amorously in his throat, his hips taking on a mind of their own as they work effortlessly to send you both crashing into an orgasm. 

Part of you feels bad for requesting to be on top only to allow him to take control, but the guilt washes away like sand when you feel your climax pressing against your insides like a tsunami just offshore. 

“Come on my cock, baby, wanna feel how tight you squeeze me,” Jungkook orders. 

You can’t answer him, the only noises escaping your body being nonsensical moans and cries of his name. But your body certainly responds, your pussy clenching around his cock like a vice before your legs lock and twitch when your release comes.

The pulsing of your cunt triggers Jungkook’s release, and your cries of pleasure harmonize as you come together. 

“Shit, Koo,” you curse as he continues sending his cock into you, creating an ache of oversensitivity between your legs. “Baby.” 

You stall his movements with a hand to his chest as your pussy convulses around him with the aftershocks of your orgasm. There’s a soreness in your thighs when you lift yourself from his lap and fall beside him on the bed. 

Jungkook’s softening cock is covered in white from both of your juices, and if you weren’t entirely spent and borderline delirious, you’d lick it clean for him. 

He caresses your face as your eyes close, moving your hair out the way so he can kiss your cheek, nose, temple, and forehead. You hum happily, pursing your lips as a wordless demand for him to kiss them as well.

“I love you, Jeon Jungkook,” you whisper into the air.

The sound of his bright laugh makes you smile.

“I love you more,” he responds before finally giving you a tender kiss.

“Oh, please don’t make me fight you right now. I’m in no shape to do so,” you state.

Jungkook giggles and pecks your lips a couple more times in rapid succession.

Once your heavy breathing slows and your bodies cool, you roll into Jungkook’s side and he naturally pulls you into his embrace. 

It’s nearing sunrise and if you’re this exhausted, you can’t even begin to comprehend how tired Jungkook must be.

He wishes you goodnight where his lips rest on your forehead and you return the gesture by smooching his chest a couple times. The two of you sleep peacefully for the first time in days, the feeling of home completely encompassing you as you’re whisked away to dreamland. 

NINE

Despite the many warnings about the possibility of sex inducing labor, you’re three days from your due date and Jungkook fucking you sensless multiple times a day has yet to make your baby arrive any sooner. 

The two of you are in the honeymoon phase straight out of finally confessing your love for each other, and you having a massive baby bump and a few extra pounds on you doesn’t stop you in the slightest from celebrating your new relationship status. Jungkook can’t keep his hands to himself even when you’re in the middle of important tasks readying the house for your little pumpkin 

Honestly, you think it’s partially to distract himself from the imminent arrival of your child. He never says it aloud because he doesn’t want to worry you, but you know him better than anyone and can tell he’s anxious. 

It’s one thing to spend nine months positively itching to hold your baby in your arms, but it’s another to actually parent said child. 

Even with his nerves, he’s been the picture perfect partner throughout these final weeks and you’re nothing short of absolutely certain he’ll be the most amazing father in the world. Even if he fails at things or messes up every now and then, the immense love he already holds for your baby is more than you could ever ask for from a partner.

Right now he’s screwing the final dresser into the wall of his bedroom so it’s baby-proof. He’s never been much of a handyman, but you suppose the fatherhood gene has fully fermented in his blood and now he can handle a drill like a pro. You’ll have to ask him about changing tires next, and his sneezes will probably get louder as soon as the baby is born.

You’re moseying around the kitchen as you clean up following dinner. Jungkook keeps telling you to stay still and relax, but you’re way too antsy to do that.  

Every minute feels like an hour while you wait for your little one to arrive. Not only because you’re so eager to meet them, but because you’re terrified of labor and delivery and want it over with as soon as possible. It’s a fear of the unknown, and you know you’ll feel better once you understand how bad the contractions will be. 

Being pregnant comes with many lovely perks, one of which includes peeing every time you cough or even flinch the wrong way. 

That’s why, when you feel a warm sensation down below, you don’t question it. Like always these past couple months, you merely roll your eyes and make a mental note to change your underwear when you’re done cleaning. 

It’s only once you step to your left and have to catch yourself on the counter to stop from slipping that you realize you’re standing in a pool of liquid. You certainly didn’t pee your pants, because although it’s been a couple decades since you last did, you remember the feeling quite well. When the realization of what actually occurred hits you, you’re screaming bloody murder for Jungkook upstairs.

“My water! Jungkook! My water just broke!” 

The sound of his two feet followed by four large paws running down the stairs is all you hear until he appears at the bottom of the stairwell looking like he’s seen a ghost.

His cheeks are bright red, his eyes bigger than you’ve ever seen them, and he’s huffing out air as though he just ran a marathon. 

“Are you serious?” 

“Yes, Koo, I’m standing in amniotic fluid as we speak!”

Jungkook shakes his head aggressively to get himself into action mode. 

“Alright, you get your shoes on, I’m gonna get the hospital bag. Wait, do you need to change first?”

“That would be nice, yeah,” you admit. 

He’s gone in a flash to head back upstairs and obtain your pre-packed bag with all the essentials and something for you to change into. 

When he returns only a split second later, Usagi is following close behind now that she’s aware something exciting is going on. He hands you a comfortable dress and panties to change into and you strip right there in the kitchen. His hand on your hip stalls you before you’re able to slip the clothes on, and you nearly start screaming at him that now is not the time, but then he grabs a towel and wipes away the fluid from your legs. 

You smile graciously and thank him for thinking ahead before sliding the dress over your head and scurrying to the door. 

Now that your water broke you can feel a mild cramping from the contractions. It’s a dull pitch in your back as well as what you can only compare to a period cramp. You must not be dilated very much yet because the pain is still fairly tolerable. 

Jungkook bends over to help you with your shoes before resting his hand on your lower back to guide you downstairs to the garage. Both your hands are caressing your swollen stomach, slightly bracing yourself because the cramping is coming in waves every few minutes. 

When you reach the car Jungkook opens the passenger door for you, but you turn on your heel and place your hands on his chest before sitting down. He looks at you inquisitively, his eyes conveying his hurriedness and confusion as to why you’re not rushing, too. 

“I just, we have time, and I want to take a minute before we go,” you tell him.

“For what, Bambi?”

You admire the pretty features you’ve known all your life with a smile and reach up to circle his neck with your arms. He laughs cheerfully and reflects your embrace by hugging your waist.

“This is the last time we’re gonna be here, just the two of us.” You nuzzle your face in his neck and let his scent calm you. “The last time it will just be you and me.”

“It’s always gonna be you and me, Bams,” he replies. “Always.”

He kisses your cheek, leaving his lips there for a lingering moment before you part. Once you do, he rests his hand on your jaw and kisses you gently. His lips are warm and familiar, and you kiss one another with a promise of wonderful new things on the horizon. 

Jungkook waits to ensure you’re comfortable in the passenger seat before running to the other side and taking off towards the nearby hospital. On the way, you call your doctor to let them and she assures you she’ll meet you there once the labor and delivery nurses triage you. 

When you arrive, you take a poignant deep breath, knowing that when you exit this place you’ll be a mom, and this is the last time in the outside world where you’ll just be you. It’s exhilarating, nerve wracking, and overwhelming all at once, but you’ve been preparing for this next chapter for nine months now, and you’re more than ready.

You and Jungkook have your hands tightly wound together as you enter the massive hospital, but he relinquishes his grip to grab you a wheelchair once you’re inside. He watches you carefully as you sit down, holding his hands out on either side of you as though you’re made of glass. When you nod at him assuredly that you’re all good, he rushes to the counter to inform the receptionist while you text all your important group chats about what’s going on. 

Your parents and friends are planning on coming to see you and the baby after delivery, and you can’t wait to formally introduce them to your little one. 

Jungkook returns along with a labor and delivery nurse who introduces herself before wheeling you down the hallway. When you reach two large double doors, she stops and turns to you and Jungkook, whose hand is comfortingly rubbing your shoulder.

“Alright, this is where we’ll be parting for a bit. Mom, you’re coming with me, and Dad, you have to get scrubbed up so you can join us,” she explains.

This step in the process is something your doctor explained previously, but it doesn’t make saying goodbye any easier, no matter how momentary the separation will be.

Looking towards Jungkook, you notice he’s just as anxious to be away from you, but he hides it well and bends to your height so he can kiss you briefly. 

“I’ll see you soon, okay, Bambi?”

There are tears in your eyes even though you’re nodding your head.

“Yeah, soon,” you whimper.

“It’s okay, baby, it won’t be for long,” he tells you as he caresses your cheek. You lean your head into his hand and close your eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you,” you parrot and kiss him one final time. 

He waves continuously as you’re pushed through the double doors by your nurse, and even though you know he’s upset, too, he’s sporting the cheesiest grin on his face to make you laugh.

Jungkook heaves out a sigh directly from his gut once you’re gone, his head falling back as he struggles to steady his jackrabbiting heart. Being apart right now feels like unadulterated torture, but he knows it’s only for a short while before you’ll be together again.

A different nurse comes to lead him to a sterile room just around the corner. The older woman explains the basics of scrubs and staying clean as well as what to do if he gets contaminated. He listens as dutifully as possible with all the other millions of thoughts running through his head and eventually the nurse helps him dress in the lovely, crinkly blue outfit, which includes shoe covers and a hair net. 

He looks utterly ridiculous, but truthfully, finally dawning his father-to-be attire makes him giddy.

When he exits, the nurse leads him down a seemingly infinite hallway to a delivery room where your doctor is waiting just outside the door. She smiles joyously when he appears in her vision and enthusiastically waves him down. 

“Hi, Doc,” he excitedly greets her.

“Hi, how are you feeling?” She asks him.

“I’m… nervous as hell,” he says truthfully. “I can’t stand seeing her in pain, so I don’t think I’m going to handle this very well.”

“A lot of dads feel that way about their partner,” she explains. “Just remember, all you can do is be there for her and she’ll get through it. She’s a tough cookie.”

“She is,” he nods with a smile.

“So, I wanted to talk to you before we go in. Y/N’s lost quite a lot of blood, and we’ve had to set her up with a continuous blood transfusion to ensure she’ll have enough for delivery. Now, let me just say, this is totally normal. We deal with this all the time and we’ve got everything under control.”

Jungkook’s heart drops into his stomach with a weighted plop, his entire body following suit as his shoulders sink and he nearly loses his balance.

“What — what — what do you mean, why is she losing blood?”

“It’s just something that happens sometimes, the baby is moving through her body and it can cause internal bleeding which drops her blood count,” she explains calmly.

“But… but she’s gonna be okay, right? I mean, Doc, that’s my entire world in there. I’m… I’m not even a person without her, I —”

“Jungkook, listen to me,” she interrupts his manic ramblings. “I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive. She’s going to be just fine. Her and the baby. You’re going to leave here with both of them tomorrow, alright?”

Jungkook attempts to calm his thoughts and take her words of expertise to heart, but he needs to see you for himself, hold you and feel your skin beneath his fingers so he knows without a shadow of a doubt that you’re alright.

“Okay. And you’ll… she takes priority, right? If something goes wrong —”

“Of course, she does.” She smiles reassuringly at him. “I won’t let anything happen to your Bambi, Jungkook.”

He nods his head as a sigh of relief leaves his lungs.

“Thank you, Doctor,” he says wholeheartedly.

“Of course. Let’s get you in there to see her, yeah? Fair warning, she’s a little loopy because of the blood loss, but it shouldn’t last too much longer now that she’s hooked up to a blood bag.”

She opens the door and gestures for Jungkook to enter before following closely behind.

When you see the light pouring in from the door opening, your eyes glisten with excitement as Jungkook appears in your field of vision. Even though you feel half alive, the sight of the man you love brings a huge toothy grin to your face. 

“Koo,” you call for him quietly, your hand weakly rising in his direction. He’s at your side instantly, taking your shaking hand and kissing the back of it before sitting in the chair beside your hospital bed. “You look so cute in your scrubs.”

“Yeah? Well, you look absolutely beautiful, baby,” he tells you as he delicately pushes your sweaty hair from your face. 

The contractions are coming in quick succession now and are significantly more powerful, but because of the blood loss you’ve only been given a mild pain reliever. It’s truthfully been horrible so far, especially when you nearly passed out from all the blood escaping your body. You don’t dare tell Jungkook about it, knowing precisely how he’ll react, but you already feel better with him next to you.

Pursing your lips in his general direction, you hear Jungkook chuckle as he leans in to kiss you deeply. Despite your current state, you still do your best to reciprocate the passion he pours into you, moving your lips in tandem while his free hand rises to cradle your jaw. Your foreheads meet once your lips reluctantly divide, but Jungkook uses his grip to lower your head so he can press his lips there a couple times instead.

“So, I take it you two aren’t just best friends anymore?” Your doctor is sitting between your legs with an eyebrow raised. You and Jungkook share a knowing chuckle before facing her and shaking your heads in unison. She smiles broadly in response. “Good, I’m glad.”

Just then, another contraction crashes over you and you groan while bending over in pain. Jungkook’s eyes go wide and misty in an instant, his hand clutching yours in support, which you return tenfold by brutally squishing his fingers together from the tightness of your grip. 

You feel his other hand combing through your hair as you attempt to push through the pain by counting your breaths. The pain coursing through your lower half is already borderline unbearable, and you pray they can give you the epidural soon.

“Breathe, baby,” Jungkook instructs, mimicking the Lamaze technique you learned all those months ago. 

The class was enjoyable enough, but the breathing exercises truly don’t do jack shit for the pain. Jungkook’s voice brings you more comfort than the repetitive intakes of air you were taught. As the pain begins to cease, you crash back into the bed with shaky breaths while Jungkook massages the shoulder closest to him. 

“Are you alright, Bams?” He asks, his eyes watching the monitor beside you so he can see your heart rate returning to baseline.

“Yeah, I am now,” you pant.

“Is there anything I can do?”

You caress his cheek with your free hand while putting on your bravest smile for him.

“No, my love, you just have to sit there and look pretty,” you instruct him. 

Jungkook blushes as he laughs.

You request he answer some of the hundreds of text messages currently blowing up your phone and causing it to nearly vibrate off the table. He does so without hesitation, sending mass text messages to your friends and family stating where to go when they arrive and updating them on how you're doing. There’s also a fair amount of selfies taken in between contractions, some for your loved ones and a couple of you two kissing for his own records. He wants to remember this forever, even if you both look questionable at best in your hospital attire. 

Everyone in your life knows about the relationship status upgrade, but he still wants to keep some moments sacred for just the two of you. 

When you told your moms, you genuinely thought they were going to pass out from sheer excitement. The two women cried hysterical happy tears and hugged one another for a minimum of five minutes before finally embracing the two of you in congratulations. 

The contractions continue for a couple hours, each wave of them getting closer and closer together until they’re almost neck and neck. After a particularly horrific one lasting about ten minutes, your doctor comes to speak to you.

“So, here’s the situation,” she starts. “You’re dilated to ten right now; the baby is ready to come out. The only problem is you still haven’t received enough blood for us to give you the epidural.” She sighs regretfully. “That gives us two options. You either do the birth naturally now or we give you a medicine that slows your labor down and we wait until we can give you the epidural. The biggest downside to that is the medicine can take upwards of ten hours to leave your system, so you’ll be feeling the contractions for that long.”

You were never planning on delivering naturally, and having to choose between the better of two evils is making your brain short circuit. All you want is to meet your baby, to hold, kiss, and love them, but there’s a barrier of brutality standing in your way. 

“Do you think I can do it naturally?” You ask her.

“Absolutely. I’ve seen thousands of women do it, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Everyone is different.”

Anxiously gnawing on your lip, you turn towards Jungkook, whose expression mirrors the fright on your own. His eyes are glossy with unsung emotion and it breaks your heart. You know how difficult it is for him to feel so powerless to help you, always proudly holding the title of your knight in shining armor all your life. 

“What do you think?”

“It’s not up to me, Bams,” he answers.

“I know, but I want your opinion.”

His jaw clenches and he shakes his head before speaking.

“I fucking hate seeing you in pain, Bambi. I can hardly stand it, you know that,” he responds. “But for either option it sounds like that’ll be the case. You either experience excruciating pain now or suffer for ten hours with severe pain.”

You mull over his words for a while before releasing the air in your lungs as your decision finalizes in your mind. 

“I wanna meet our baby, Koo,” you tell him. “I don’t want to wait.”

Jungkook smiles assuredly at you and brings your fingers to his lips to kiss.

“I know you can do this, Bambi. There’s nothing in this world I believe in more.”

“So, we’re gonna try naturally?” Your doctor asks to clarify and you answer her with a nervous nod of your head. “Great, we’ll start pushing in about ten minutes, alright? Remember that you’re going to push along with each contraction, so don’t push until I tell you.”

She walks across the room to discuss the plan with the other nurses assisting her with your delivery. Jungkook grabs your attention by brushing his knuckles down the side of your face and you paint an expression of false bravery on your face for him.

“Are you okay? You gonna be alright?”

“Yeah, Koo, I’m okay,” you assure him. “Just don’t be upset if I sink my nails into your skin and make you bleed.”

“You can do whatever you need to get through it,” he responds.

He brushes your hair away again, even more of your strands matted down after the hours of labor you’ve gone through already.

“This is it, huh? No turning back,” you say.

“Nope,” Jungkook giggles. “I can’t wait, Bams.”

“Me, either,” you reply happily.

Jungkook kisses you again, cherishing the feeling of your lips as he mentally maps the shape of your mouth and memorizes this moment. You allow the lip lock to be your final moment of rest before diving headfirst into the ordeal you fear the most. The next time your lips meet, it will be once you’ve become a family. 

“I know I’ve said it before, but you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you so damn much,” Jungkook states.

“I thought you said that blowjob I gave you was the best thing to ever happen to you?”

Jungkook laughs indiscriminately, his eyes squeezing shut as his bunny teeth peak out.

“I was wrong,” he says. “It’s you, Bambi. It’s always been you.”

You smile at him in total adoration while tracing his features with your eyes, wanting to remember years from now exactly how he looked before he became a dad. 

“I love you, Jungkook, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to properly explain just how much.”

Instead of verbally replying, there are kisses spread all over your face as you giggle until your doctor returns and asks if you’re ready. When you tell her you are, she reassures you of your strength before sitting on the stool between your legs while the other nurses stand in various positions around her.

Jungkook squeezes your hand with an unknown melody and you share an affirmative glance from your periphery. You’ve been through everything under the sun together, and this is just another hurdle you know you’ll get through side by side. There’s no doubt in your mind you can do this because he’s here beside you and no one provides you with more strength and support than him.

Three consecutive, merciless contractions crash over you and you nearly turn Jungkook’s hand purple with your grasp. Your doctor informs you in a calm voice that when the third wave of pain begins to ebb you’ll start pushing. One contraction bleeds into the next, and you hear a backwards count of three before she orders you to push hard.

The pain is abundantly worse than you ever imagined. It feels like the entire lower half of your body is on fire while your insides tear themselves to shreds. You scream as hot, salty tears blur your vision and your nails bite into Jungkook’s hand. He holds your elbow with his free hand in an attempt to give you more support to steady yourself with.

The word “push” is repeated over and over as the contraction moves through you. You do as you're told for a few minutes, although it feels like hours, and then she states you’re going to pause for a moment. 

“Okay, you can stop, dear,” she instructs. 

As soon as your efforts cease, you gasp in hefty relief and fall backwards into the bed, all the while panting and trying to calm the inner workings of your body after pushing your nervous system to the brink.

“Bambi? Are you doing alright?” Jungkook asks as he brushes his fingers through your hair.  

“Fuck you, Jungkook. You’re never coming in me again,” you huff through shaky breaths. 

He chuckles and kisses your crown a couple times, making you smile despite the exhaustion and ache. 

When your doctor asks if you’re ready to continue you reply with a weak nod of your head and return to your prior position. The same sequence of events repeats for a while, but you honestly have no idea for how long because one excruciating moment just blurs into the next. There’s a particularly awful set of pushes and afterwards your doctor happily informs you the baby’s crowning and it shouldn’t take much longer. 

You brace yourself for what you know will be the worst pain yet, readjusting your hold on Jungkook’s hand as he whispers words of encouragement in your ear and kisses your sweaty cheek. 

Truthfully, all you want is to pause and climb into his lap so he can soothe the pain away as he always does, but your baby needs you, and there’s nothing you want more in the world than to hold them in your arms.

A moment later your doctor tells you to push as hard as you’re able and the loudest scream yet rips from your throat. You genuinely believe for a moment that you're being ripped in half and won’t make it out alive. The thought scares you half to death, but you force it away so you can focus on giving your child life.

“Ah! Fuck!” You wail as tears freefall from your eyes.

“One more, honey, you’re almost there,” your doctor assures you.

“You can do it, Bams,” Jungkook shouts as his arm shakes from how firmly you’re clutching his hand. 

“Ahh no, no I can’t, I can’t do it,” you cry helplessly, the pain nearly blacking out your vision. 

“Yes, you can, baby. I know that you can,” Jungkook replies. 

You weep hysterically while trying to breathe through the pain, but it feels impossible to push air from your lungs when all you feel is the overwhelming sensation of your insides ripping apart.

“Push, honey!”

Your doctor's words shove reality before you, that you only have one choice and that’s to bring your baby into the world. So, with all the strength you have left after hours of physical pain and torment, you push with all your might.

There’s an ear piercing scream which accompanies your efforts, but then your voice is drowned out by the sound of a shrill cry. 

You gasp harshly and slam into the bed when the immense pressure disperses from your bottom half. You’re left panting haphazardly as your body slows its momentum and your mind catches up to the world around you. 

The feeling of Jungkook’s fingers lacing through yours grounds you to the moment, but it’s your doctor’s voice which pulls your consciousness to the surface.

“Congratulations, you two, you have a beautiful little girl.”

“A girl?” You and Jungkook shout in unison. 

“We’re gonna clean her up and get her right back to you, alright?”

The world is spinning too fast. Everything seems to be happening at once, but you do your best to calm your mind so you can focus on your daughter and the man you love sitting beside you.

“Bambi, you did it,” Jungkook cheers as he leans over and kisses your forehead. “We have a daughter.”

You regain control of your eyes and turn towards the sound of his voice. He honestly looks just as bad as you. There are tear stains all across his face from crying over you being in pain, and fresh droplets are forming in the corners of his eyes at the news about your little girl.  

Reaching across to bring his face closer, you kiss him as ardently as you can with your strength almost entirely depleted. You’re both smiling too hard to even kiss properly, your teeth clashing as your tears of joy blend together until you don’t know whose are whose. 

You pull away when your doctor returns with your daughter wrapped in a blanket with a little pink hat on her head. She’s so tiny that you gasp in awe, your hands covering your mouth as you wait in eager anticipation for her to be placed in your arms. 

Your doctor smiles brightly at you as she hands you the little bundle of joy in her arms. 

There are truly no words to describe the feeling of holding her for the first time. It’s unbelievably surreal to think she’s the same little pumpkin growing in your womb all this time. She’s breathtakingly beautiful, with tufts of black hair just like her father’s sticking out from the edges of her hat. She has his button nose, too, but her lips and face shape seem to favor you. Her eyes are delicately shut while she sleeps peacefully in her carefully made cocoon.

“Hi, baby,” you whisper. “It feels weird holding you in my arms rather than my belly, huh?” She obviously doesn’t respond to your adoration, but you’ll speak nonsense to her all day anyway. “Oh, I love you so much already.”

Jungkook places a hand on your shoulder as he leans over to see his daughter up close. The two of you have identical watery grins as your happy tears continue to fall. 

“She’s so beautiful,” he whispers. 

“Yes, she is.” You gently caress her head and tap her little nose. “We made her, Koo.”

“For funsies.”

Laughing to the point your chest shakes, you nudge him in retaliation for possibly disturbing your little girl's slumber. He joins in your laughter and kisses the exposed skin of your shoulder where your hospital gown fell down. Your heart feels as though it’s swelling to ten times its normal size as you lean down to press the gentlest of kisses to her forehead. 

“You wanna hold her?” You ask him.

His eyes are wide with wonder as he nods his head slowly and reaches for her with adorable grabby hands. You pass her over as deftly as possible and admire the scene before you as Jungkook meets his daughter for the first time.

The sound he makes is a mixture between a gasp and a cry when he first comes face to face with her before he starts giggling endlessly, his nose scrunching up in pure bliss as more tears fall from his eyes. 

“Hi, my little one,” he coos. “I’ve been waiting so long to meet you.” You sniffle to hold back your own sentimental tears as you watch the two people you love most in the world interact. “Daddy loves you so much, little girl.” He chuckles to himself. “But we’re gonna have to talk, because you hurt Mommy and that just cannot go unpunished.”

You allow a hearty laugh to leave you now that you aren’t holding your daughter. 

“I can’t thank you enough, Bams. I’ll never be able to thank you enough, even if I spend every second of the rest of my life doing so. You made me a dad to the most beautiful little girl in the world.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Koo, because you made me a mom. You’ve loved and cared for me my entire life, and if the only way I can repay you is with her, then all this was worth it.” 

You kiss him softly, being careful not to jostle your daughter resting in his arms.

After a while of simply admiring your baby as she sleeps, your doctor informs you it’s almost time to go through afterbirth, although it should be easier since your water broke earlier. Once that’s done, they clamp the umbilical cord and allow Jungkook to cut it, which he does while smiling from ear to ear. 

It’s about an hour later when they tell Jungkook he can grab two loved ones at a time to come see you. You mutually agreed ahead of time that your mothers will be first, so he kisses you on the lips and your daughter on her forehead before heading to the waiting room to spread the magnificent news. 

Jungkook shakes his head in disbelief as he travels down the long hallway away from the delivery room, still so utterly shocked that he’s a dad and he has such a beautiful daughter. 

He also can’t believe how amazing you did. He’s positively in awe of you and what you went through to deliver your baby. It honestly pains him to leave you both even if only for a few fleeting moments. He could spend forever just staring at you and your sweet little girl. 

When the double doors open, a massive crowd of your friends and family are behind them waiting eagerly for his arrival. They all stand at once when they see Jungkook enter, and every single person shares the same anticipatory expression. 

“It’s a girl!” He announces with his arms held high above his head. 

The entire room erupts with cheers and the horde of loved ones descends on him in an excited frenzy. He feels multiple friends messing with his hair affectionately, his mom kissing his cheek, and your friends hugging his waist. It makes his heart jump for joy at the realization of how loved you, him, and your baby are already.

“How’s Y/N?” Chaewon asks once everyone gives him some room to breathe.

“She’s fucking perfect. I mean, she was just so amazing. I can’t even comprehend it,” he explains. “She couldn’t get the epidural because she lost too much blood, but she pushed through and she’s doing great.”

“She gave birth naturally?” Nayeon asks in shock.

Jungkook nods and Nayeon clutches her heart in response. 

“When can we see her and the baby?” Yoongi asks him.

“So, we can take you back two at a time. We’re gonna start with our parents, moms first, and then you guys can play rock paper scissors to figure out the order of friends,” Jungkook states.

The large group of friends immediately start turning to one another to start the tournament while Jungkook gestures with his head for his and your mom to follow him back. 

His mom clings to his arm as they walk and Jungkook throws his other one around your mom’s shoulders, placing a loving kiss on each of their heads. Both women are still crying from the happy news, but he can tell they're practically vibrating with giddiness to see you and the baby.

Jungkook opens the door for them to enter before following closely behind. Before his feet even enter the space he hears the excited gasps from the women as their eyes land on you and their grandchild.

Your mom is at your side like lightning, bending down to kiss your forehead and ask how you’re doing. You assure her you’re doing alright while offering your sleeping daughter to her. She nods like a bobble head and gently lifts the swaddled child from your arms where she was laying. 

Jungkook’s mom gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and then leans over your mom’s shoulder to meet her first grandchild. You watch endearingly as their expressions glow with warmth and affection for her while Jungkook joins you by your bedside again. When your eyes meet, you notice he’s staring at you as though you created the entire universe from scratch. The blush on your face is involuntary, and you kiss him for the umpteenth time today to hide the pink hue.

“I love you so much, baby,” Jungkook whispers in between smooches.

You plant one last peck on him.

“I love you more.”

Jungkook clicks his tongue disapprovingly.

“Are we about to have our first fight as parents?”

Eventually, after your fathers meet their granddaughter, your friends begin arriving in pairs to visit you and their niece, ending with Namjoon and Jimin, which is no surprise given their terrible history with lady luck. By the time the initial pass through of all your guests comes to a close, you’re beyond exhausted, so Jungkook takes your daughter while you rest. Your doctor bids you farewell shortly beforehand and tells you the nurses will assist with nursing for the first time once you wake up. 

Upon your return to the land of the living, the three of you are admitted to an actual hospital room rather than the delivery room, which allows for more people to come see you at one time. Although, you and Jungkook decide it’s best to hold off on visitors until after you breastfeed your daughter. 

The nurses are wonderful with helping you accomplish the daunting task, and it’s honestly easier than you expected. Your little girl latches onto you with ease and although it feels funny at first, the longer she drinks from you the more soothing it becomes. Relaxing against the pillows, you shut your eyes and appreciate the newness of motherhood while feeding your daughter. Jungkook interrupts your peaceful haven with a wistful sigh as his head falls into one of his palms. 

“I’m so jealous,” he states with his eyes locked on your chest.

The slap upside the head you give him is purely on instinct.

Your loved ones all visit again over the next twenty four hours prior to your discharge from the hospital. Before departing, the nurses ask you about a name since the process is simpler to complete while you’re still here. You and Jungkook wear matching smirks while eyeing one another. Contrary to popular belief, the two of you really did know which name to choose the moment you saw her.

You, Jungkook, and Naru return home as a family for the first time, along with your parents, later that day. Bam and Usagi are downright ecstatic to see you and Jungkook’s dad has to hold Bam back from jumping on you or Jungkook, who’s holding Naru in her baby carrier. 

It’s a flurry of movement as your moms support your back during your trek upstairs to sleep the pain away while Jungkook places Naru in her crib. Your dads immediately begin cleaning to take some chores off your plate, the two of them working in tandem to wash away the sticky bodily fluid still on the kitchen floor. Once you’re out cold and Jungkook is admiring his daughter with his head resting on the edge of her crib, your parents complete some other miscellaneous tasks around the house and feed the pets before heading home. 

After they leave, Jungkook sits in the nursery rocking chair and watches with stars in his eyes as his little girl sleeps soundly in her stolen cradle. 

It’s not totally certain why you chose Naru as her name. A couple months ago, Jungkook was rattling names off a list along with their meanings, and for some unknown reason it just stuck out. You and Jungkook both loved it amongst some other girl and boy names, and shortly after she was born, you unanimously agreed to go with that one. There’s an added cuteness bonus because Naru is the name of Usagi’s best friend in Sailor Moon, and in your little familiar they’re sisters. 

The name means to become, grow, reach, or attain, and you think the meaning suits her and the two of you so perfectly. 

When you wake after some solid sleep, it’s with a sore groan as you literally roll off the mattress to check on your family. It’s still so surreal referring to yourselves that way, but a completely lovesick smile graces your lips every time you do. 

You stop in your tracks before anyone can see you once you reach the first floor, wanting to leave the beautiful scene you’re witnessing undisturbed for a while longer.

Jungkook is horizontal across the couch with his shirt open as Naru sleeps on his bare chest. He’s been absolutely dying to try skin on skin time with her after reading how beneficial it can be, and although it may be good for Naru, the sight is terrible for you because it nearly sends you into hysterics over how precious it is. Not only that, but Usagi is curled up between his legs and Bam is watching curiously from the chair next to them. If you could pause time to admire this moment for longer than the world allows, you’d do so in a heartbeat.

A few quiet minutes pass as you watch Jungkook’s gaze flit across all the tiny features of his daughter’s face with the sweetest smile on his lips. He looks utterly in love, his eyes nearly forming into hearts as he stares at her. It makes you wonder if this is what everyone means when they mention how he looks at you. 

When you finally make yourself known and pad over to the couch in your slippers, Jungkook’s face somehow lights up even more, his smile growing exponentially as you sit beside his legs.

“Hi, beautiful,” he says softly. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing alright, just sore,” you tell him. 

“Anything I can do?”

“No.” You shake your head with an enchanted smile as you brush some of his hair back and caress his cheekbone. “You’re doing everything already.”

He smiles gratefully and twists his head to kiss your wrist. The three of you remain there for a while, you and Jungkook only speaking every so often as your daughter naps peacefully and he brushes her tiny strands of hair away from her face. 

BACK TO ZERO

The low, dulcet sound of Jungkook singing in his lower register forces your eyes open. Blinking a couple times to bring your mind to reality, you turn your head to see Jungkook beside you in bed, softly singing to Naru as her cries subside and she falls into a deep slumber. 

You reach for them, running your hand along Jungkook’s bicep so he knows you’re awake. He looks at you with a saccharine smile and whispers good morning as to not disturb the child sleeping in his arms. Bending down, you place a gentle kiss on her forehead before sitting up to kiss Jungkook where he’s resting against the headboard. 

“You should’ve woken me up, Koo,” you whisper.

“It’s okay, Bambi. I got it,” he replies with an affirmative smile. 

Jungkook’s been doing more than his fair share of waking up during all hours of the night to care for your daughter, even though you originally agreed to take turns. He claims it’s because you’re still recovering from pushing her out of your body while he sat and watched, and it only makes sense for you to rest while he does the heavy lifting. You appreciate him more than words can express, but guilt still eats away at you everytime you see dark bags under his eyes from the fatigue.

Sometimes he doesn’t have a choice but to wake you, because as much as your daughter is undeniably smitten by him, sometimes a girl just needs her mother. 

If waking you is necessary, Jungkook will do so in the softest way possible, usually by pressing featherlight kisses all over your face and quietly telling you Naru needs you. Even when it’s your expertise required, he’ll follow you into the nursery while you either feed her or give her some much needed mommy and me time. Once her cries subside and she falls asleep, Jungkook will take you by the hand and tuck you into bed with a promise of a few more hours of rest. 

When she isn’t being finicky, she’ll fall asleep in seconds to the feeling of Jungkook rocking her or singing her lullabies. You genuinely believe she recognizes his voice from when he sang to her in your womb because her eyes always light up in wonder whenever he starts a new tune. 

She’s only been in your lives for a month, but somehow you love her more than anything else in the world. It’s strange for something to have a complete occupation of your heart without knowing them very long, but Naru makes it easy. Even though she can be quite the terror when she’s incessantly crying and screaming, and her diapers smell like sewage, she’s the absolute sweetest baby. When she’s being held, she always curls into the person’s chest and lays her little hand on them, or she’ll tightly grip their fingers between her tiny ones. She smiles constantly, no matter if you’re simply admiring her or playing peek-a-boo.

Naru definitely looks more like Jungkook, which is exactly what you were hoping for, although she does share some features with you. 

The first time she blinked her eyes open and you saw a twin pair of the big, boba eyes you fell in love with, you nearly wept. In fact, they’re so large they nearly take up half her face. You’ve already captured at least a thousand pictures of them side by side, with Jungkook often forcing his eyes open wider so they match hers. 

Your phone is positively overflowing with photos from the last thirty days, mostly selfies of you and Jungkook with your beautiful daughter, pictures of just her, or secret candid shots of Jungkook holding or playing with her. His phone is much the same, at least you assume so given that he’s always pretending not to be snapping photos whenever you’re with Naru.

“What time is it?” You ask Jungkook.

“Four in the morning.”

You groan quietly enough to avoid waking the sleeping infant and stand for a bathroom break before returning to your peaceful slumber. Your body is still in shambles from the birthing process, although you’re steadily recovering. Some basic functions are still a struggle and the extreme fatigue is enough to keep you in bed all day. Jungkook’s doing his best to take care of you while also caring for Naru, but both your parents come over often to assist in whatever way they can. 

Your friends are visiting for the first time later today because they’ve been begging nonstop to see Naru again. It’s not that you didn’t want them here, but you and Jungkook felt some alone time as a family was necessary to settle into your new routine. 

Both friend groups are visiting this afternoon since Mina and Taehyung are officially dating and it’s simpler to invite everyone over at once. You’re honestly elated about seeing your friends, desperately in need of some social interaction that isn’t with a tiny human or your boyfriend. 

Referring to Jungkook as your boyfriend is quite the adjustment, especially since the illusive term doesn’t hold nearly enough weight for what he truly is to you. Best friend still feels more fitting even though there’s a platonic connotation, baby daddy lowers him to a status far beneath him, and the word partner doesn’t feel intimate enough for your connection. So, boyfriend it is for now, even though Jungkook continuously makes references to replacing the current ring on your finger with a different one. 

You always reprimand him when he makes those comments, telling him it’s way too soon for both your relationship and being parents, and he assures you he agrees, but you know your hopeless romantic best friend better than anyone, and it’s obvious he’s itching to get down on one knee. 

The thought does leave you embarrassingly giddy, but even if you did get engaged, you wouldn’t wed for a while given that no one wants to plan a wedding and raise an infant simultaneously. Right now, you’re perfectly content with your current ring and the meaning behind it. Ironically, poor Jungkook keeps muttering to himself about how he’s ever going to top it when he does pick out an actual engagement ring. 

Upon returning to bed, Jungkook purses his lips towards you and you placate him with a tender smooch before plopping into bed. Unfortunately, you aren’t comfortable for long because your breasts start to hurt from needing to either feed your daughter or pump milk for later. Since she’s currently sleeping like the little angel she is, you grab your breast pump and mirror Jungkook’s position against the headboard while the machine works its magic. 

“You always look like an alien when you do that,” Jungkook jokes. 

“Like a sexy alien or an E.T. type?”

“Totally sexy, so fucking sexy,” he replies without missing a beat.

You blush bright pink and avoid his eyes before it gets any worse. Nothing about motherhood makes you feel even remotely sexy or desirable and yet there’s still hunger in Jungkook’s eyes whenever he sees you.

His love for you is genuinely the only thing that’s gotten you through the first month of parenthood and you can’t imagine doing this with anyone else. He’s always attentive to both you and Naru, never complains when you ask him to do something, and does everything in his power to relieve the weight on your shoulders. If there's a world where he didn’t accidentally knock you up, you don’t wish to live in it. 

Eventually, you and Jungkook are able to enter dreamland again after he places Naru in her crib. When he returns to the bedroom, he pulls you into his arms from behind and you melt into his warm embrace. His lips dance along your neck, jaw, and cheek while you hum happily at the familiar sensation. It’s been difficult not having dedicated alone time since Naru was born, so you cherish moments like these when you can relax as just the two of you.

Naru’s lovely cries wake you about four hours later, and you seize the opportunity to attend to her before Jungkook can steal your turn. 

When you reach the nursery, Usagi is posted up outside the door as she often is whenever your little girl is crying. Your adorable cat has fallen head over heels for your daughter and it makes you swoon whenever they interact. Bam’s also nearby, his ears perking up when you open the nursery door and he hears Naru crying. Of the two of them he’s taken on the protector role, turning him into quite the guard dog lately. You don’t allow them inside the room, but give them both a quick rub to thank them for being so caring. 

Naru is twisting and turning in her crib as she cries, her tiny hands reaching for you as soon as you appear before her eyes.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” you coo as you scoop her up. 

Cradling her to your chest, you soothe her by patting her back while she lays her head on your shoulder and cries into your shirt. One thing about newborns is it’s easy to figure out what they need since it can only be one of two things. So, you carry her to the changing table and diligently clean her up before getting her back into her onesie. She stretches her chunky fingers at you to hold her again and you immediately oblige, rocking her in your arms as you move across the room. 

The door creaks open as you’re laying her down again, but there’s no need to turn around to know who’s entering the room. 

The suspicion is confirmed when two strong arms wrap around your middle and you feel your boyfriend’s lips on your shoulder. As Jungkook continues pressing chaste kisses to your skin, you affectionately boop your daughter’s nose and watch as an adorable yawn takes over her face and her fingers curl into tiny fists.

Jungkook is still kissing along your shoulder and up your neck, but he isn’t trying to initiate anything, his lips are caressing you in a way you know means he’s merely doing it because he loves you and to silently thank you for doing everything you do. 

Your hand travels behind your head to play with his hair, tugging on it gently so you can hear his sweet laugh in your ear. 

“Wish we could stay like this forever, Bams.”

“Me, too,” you whisper. 

Turning around in his hold, you capture his neck with both arms and yank him closer for a real kiss. Jungkook automatically tugs you into him with his fingers clutching your waist, causing your back to arch as he deepens the kiss by coaxing your mouth open. 

It’s important to make time for intimacy even if it can’t lead anywhere yet, and truth be told, your inherent need to feel his lips on yours never wanes. You wonder if this so-called honeymoon phase will ever go away or if you just love him so much that this is what forever is going to be like. 

Jungkook grabs your jaw with one hand as his tongue slips into your mouth, and if he wasn’t holding you the action would probably send you falling into Naru’s cradle. You kiss him a hundred times a day, at least, and he still manages to make your knees weak every time. The two of you moan in harmony when your tongues meet and you press yourself harder against him in response. His chest is warm and solid and you can feel his steady heartbeat beneath his shirt. 

“I love you, babygirl,” he confesses quietly. 

He’s kissing you again before you’re able to reciprocate his devotion, but you part for the sake of oxygen a moment later and leave your foreheads touching. 

“I love you, too.”

You allow Naru to sleep in peace and exit the nursery holding hands. Jungkook leads you down the hall to his bedroom, which is technically shared now. There are plans to turn what was your bedroom back into Jungkook’s office since you certainly aren’t using it anymore, and you need the space where his desk currently sits for all of your furniture. 

Waking up in Jungkook’s arms is hands down the most wonderful feeling in the world, on par with holding Naru while she smiles radiantly at you. 

Upon returning to the confines of your bedroom, Jungkook brings you into him again so he can kiss you fervently. His intensity pulls a chuckle from your lungs as you shamelessly make out in the middle of the room. 

“How many more weeks again?” He asks breathlessly, referring to when you’ll be cleared for sexual activity.

“I’m not sure, since whoever decided on six weeks clearly never pushed a child out of their vagina,” you respond. 

Jungkook giggles while leaning in to kiss you again. He graces you with one last peck before heading to grab some towels so you can prepare for the day ahead.

“Well, whenever you are ready, just know I’ll be really gentle.”

“I don’t even think you believe that, Jungkook.”

His smile is riddled with faux guilt when he returns to your side. 

“Yeah, no, that’s a total lie.”

You smack his chest with the towel in retaliation, but you’re already laughing to reveal your true feelings. The two of you head to the bathroom together, making sure to grab the baby monitor so you can hear if Naru wakes up. 

Showering together is another sparing moment when you can just be in each other’s presence without any of the noise, so it’s become routine lately. Sometimes it gets interrupted by your daughter and one of you, usually Jungkook, has to run out in a towel to console her. One time, he still had shampoo in his hair and you carefully crafted a little bun on his head so it didn’t drip into his eyes. 

Jungkook turns the water on while you brush your teeth. It’s adorably domestic and reminds you just how far you’ve come since you first moved in more than six months ago. 

Your boyfriend strips as you're washing the toothpaste from your mouth and it takes everything in you not to drool into the sink. No matter how many times you see him naked, every glance feels like the first and you go dizzy over the sight. 

“Bambi, stop ogling me,” he teases. 

“Stop looking like that, then.”

“Oh, well excuse me.”

“You’re excused,” you reply, your arms crossing over your chest in victory. 

A sly grin appears as Jungkook begins robbing you of your own clothes. He caresses your torso once you’re naked in front of him, massaging your skin with his warm fingers until he reaches your hips and squeezes them with a quiet growl.

You frown involuntarily, your usual confidence noticeably absent in the skin you’re currently wearing. Some of the baby weight is gone, about ten or so pounds, but there are stretch marks and extra skin that didn’t previously exist staring back at you in the mirror.

“What is it, Bams?” He asks with evident concern. 

There’s confusion over your negative reaction painting Jungkook’s features as he eyes you inquisitively. 

“It’s unfair,” you pout. 

“What is, baby?” 

Your chin is pitched up by Jungkook’s pointer finger so he can watch your expressions when you respond. 

“How sexy you are,” you answer.

“Unfair to whom? I’m yours, aren’t I?” 

Blush creeps across your bare chest and neck, but his sweet words still don’t dispel your insecurities.

“Yeah, but I’m all flabby and misshapen while you still look freaking perfect.”

“Bambi, you look beyond perfect. There’s nothing that could make you not the most beautiful woman in the world,” Jungkook states earnestly.

“You’re only saying that because you’re in love with me,” you argue.

“No, no,” Jungkook says with a shake of his head. “I thought that long before I fell in love with you, Bams.” He can sense your disbelief, so he bends his knees until he’s staring directly into your eyes. “Do I need to kiss every inch of you to prove it? Because I fucking will.”

“No,” you mumble. His knuckles brush your cheekbone and you sigh. “I’m sorry, I just don’t feel like myself right now, you know?” 

“No need to apologize, baby, just tell me how to help and I will.” 

His everlasting love and consideration for you bring a smile to your face and you kiss him briefly before leading him towards the shower.

“You don’t need to do anything more than you already are,” you tell him. “And maybe once I’m fully recovered you can bring me with you to the gym so I can get back to normal faster.” 

Jungkook enthusiastically nods at your proposal of working out together. He’s been begging you for a while to join him at the gym, mostly because he wants to do push ups over you and kiss you everytime he goes down.

He holds you steady via a hand on your waist as you enter the shower before joining you under the falling water, keeping your back pressed to his chest while the steam encompasses you both. His lips find your neck as he slowly kisses across your wet skin, except unlike before, there’s fire behind his touch as he ravishes you in sensual affection. The water drenching you both only serves to up the intensity, the feeling of him licking up the droplets while he sucks on your throat sending you into euphoric bliss.

“Koo,” you moan, leaning your head on his shoulder as your eyes shut.

“Just because I can’t fuck you doesn’t mean I won’t make you feel good, babygirl,” he tells you. 

Which is precisely what he does as he continues kissing you in all the spots he knows drive you crazy while his hands caress you everywhere within reach. They eventually find purchase on your tits and he tactfully massages them in his big hands. 

His touch turns your brain to mush, your mind descending into a pool of pleasure as you relish in the sensation of his hands on you. It takes all your willpower not to say fuck it and let him push his cock into your cunt. If there wasn’t an adorable little girl who’ll be waking up soon, you’d let him manhandle you for hours until the water runs ice cold. 

You turn around abruptly upon deciding you want to taste him rather than feel him, and Jungkook catches on instantly, walking you both under the showerhead until your back meets the wall as his lips descend on yours. 

The kiss is deliciously sloppy from the combination of tongues chasing each other and water pouring down. Your hands rake into Jungkook’s dripping strands of black hair as you moan unabashedly into his mouth. One of Jungkook’s hands slams on the shower wall beside your head while the other catches your waist to keep your body pressed to his. Everything about it feels absolutely filthy even though you’re in a place meant for cleanliness. 

“I didn’t even know it was possible to want someone like this,” Jungkook whispers. “All the goddamn fucking time, baby.”

“Me, either,” you reply through a moan as Jungkook begins kissing down your neck again. “I don’t know how we went so long without it.”

He laughs while shaking his head where it resides in the junction of your neck and shoulder.

“Because we’re idiots.”

There’s only a split second between his response and his lips latching onto your nipple, his hand inching up your spine to fondle the opposite breast. It forces a gasp out of you as you desperately grasp his hair in your hands. He plays with your tits in sync, sucking on your pebbled nub in perfect time with the movement of his fingers. An incoherent curse passes through your lips when his ministrations cause you to lactate into his mouth, and he groans in delight as he laps up the milk coming from your nipple with his tongue. The act is supremely messy because Jungkook is purposely missing some of your breast milk so he can lick it off your skin before the water washes it away.

He alternates between drinking straight from the source and allowing his tongue to collect it, but neither choice is better for your sanity. This isn’t the first time he’s acted upon his insatiable urges, just last week he wrapped his lips around your nipple after you were forced awake at three in the morning to check on Naru. The feeling of him sucking on you while you lactate was strange initially, but after a moment it made your head spin with pleasure as he played with your tits and fed himself from your body. 

“Fuck, Koo.” 

Your head hits the shower tile while he moans pathetically around your nipple.

“I’ll apologize to our daughter for stealing her food later,” he mumbles into your skin.

You chuckle and Jungkook naturally smiles just from the sound of your happiness. He leaves a final kiss on your breast before returning to your lips with a satisfied hum. 

You’ve never had shower sex before and unfortunately, today won’t be the day, but after this it’s certainly going on your list. 

Your lips continue clashing while you caress each other for an unknown amount of time, but when you do finally catch your breath, the water has begun cooling down. There’s a major responsibility to someone other than yourselves looming outside the bathroom door, so you stop being sexual deviants and actually wash up for the day. 

Jungkook pours some soap on your luffa so he can work it into your skin, not missing a single inch as he glides the sponge along your body. You do the same for him while he gathers shampoo in his hands and starts cleansing your hair. 

He’s sporting the most adorable look of concentration while he scrubs the shampoo on your scalp until it turns to suds. Repeating the motions on his own hair, you dig your nails between his strands and make him whine from the soothing sensation on his head. The two of you finish up quickly, turning off the water and handing each other your respective towels to dry off.

After getting dressed, you return to Naru’s nursery to wake her up and feed her. Ironically, you have to bottle feed her because Jungkook used up all the milk collecting in your breasts for her morning meal. She looks positively delighted to see you once she’s awake, a heart stopping giggle coming from her tiny body as you pick her up. 

Jungkook says he’ll prepare for your guests to arrive while you care for Naru, which includes dolling her up for her visitors. You don’t normally dress her in actual clothes, usually leaving her in a onesie for simplicity, but you want your friends to see her in some of the clothes they bought her. When she naps, you always swaddle her in the blanket Chaewon made and most of her toys come from your friends. 

You trudge downstairs with her resting on your shoulder to find Jungkook cleaning up some lingering dishes in the kitchen. Bam bounds over excitedly to greet you and you use your free hand to throw his bone across the room after petting his head. Usagi follows close behind at your feet, per usual, her big eyes staring up at you and Naru as you walk towards the kitchen. 

There’s a blindingly bright smile on Jungkook’s face when you enter the room and he instinctively gestures for your daughter. Gladly passing her over, you watch in endearment as he nuzzles his nose against hers and she makes an adorable cooing sound. 

“Hi, pretty girl,” he says in his baby voice. She giggles and reaches for his cheeks at the sound of him praising her. “Yeah? You want your daddy?” 

Her giggles grow louder when he blows raspberries on each of her chubby cheeks. She cuddles up against his chest as he holds her close, her eyes shutting serenely at the feeling of her dad’s warmth surrounding her. Jungkook bounces her in his arms which causes her to smile adoringly at him and her little toothless grin makes your heart sing. 

You automatically take over for him on the chore front since Naru clearly wants some daddy-daughter time. 

When she wakes up after falling asleep in Jungkook’s warm embrace, it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable and needs her diaper changed. You never predicted being able to tell which cries mean what, but you’ve memorized every single noise she makes at this point. Jungkook volunteers for dumpster duty while you finish up downstairs. 

When they return, she’s still crying incessantly, only it’s soft whimpers you both know mean she wants her mommy. Jungkook gracefully hands her to you, ensuring she’s secure in your arms before letting go. You bring her to the couch and lay her in your lap, holding her little hands and moving them in circles to soothe her.

“Hi, sweet Naru.” Her cries diminish as soon as she hears your voice. “I love you so much, my darling girl. Yeah, that’s right.” 

She makes the cutest baby sound imaginable and squeezes your fingers to the best of her ability. You coo in adoration and bend down to kiss her tummy so she giggles even more. Jungkook clicks his tongue over your shoulder. 

“I always think she’s such a daddy’s girl until you get your hands on her,” he comments. 

“She is a daddy’s girl, Koo. In fact, she may be more obsessed with you than I am.” You boop her nose and her smile grows while she sticks her tongue out. “Isn’t that right, Naru? Mommy’s gonna have to fight you for him, aren’t I, little girl?”

The noise she makes sounds suspiciously like a yes. Jungkook blushes deep red, his love for his daughter physically manifesting on his cheeks. 

“I love her more than anything, but you’ll always be my girl, Bams,” he says with a kiss to your cheek.

An hour later the first of your guests arrives. You purposely told them all different times, in about ten minute increments, so everyone gets devoted time with Naru without fighting over her. Jihyo is first, and she has enough gifts in her hands to fill the entire nursery. She squeals and jumps a couple inches off the ground in delight when you appear before her with Naru. The gift bags fall to the floor with a plop as she extends her arms to take her niece from you. 

“Naru, my sweetheart!” She cheers.

You and Jungkook are able to take a much needed parenting reprieve as your friends slowly pile in and pass your daughter around like a hot potato. Once all thirteen of them have arrived, everyone spreads out between the living room and the kitchen. 

Naru is currently sound asleep in Yoongi’s arms, the usually expressionless man wearing a face of complete joy as he watches her with his gummy smile even though she’s not awake to return it. 

“I still don’t understand how the youngest of us is a dad before anyone else,” Jin says as he chews on his slice of pizza.

“Because he’s a doofus,” Jimin responds. 

“Hey! I may be a doofus, but I took part in making the cutest little girl ever,” Jungkook defends himself. “In fact, you could say I’m about fifty percent of the reason she’s so adorable!”

“Kook, you got to creampie the hottest woman we all know and then magically have a child nine months later. I’ll give you five percent tops,” Chaewon argues. 

Everyone chuckles at Chaewon’s extremely high level overview of pregnancy.

“She seems really well behaved,” Yunjin comments. 

“She is,” you say proudly. “Naru is a little angel.”

“You won’t be saying that in a few months,” Namjoon says. “She’ll be a demon once she starts teething.”

“Oh, remind me not to visit around then,” Hoseok adds.

As if she heard them talking smack about her, Naru wakes up and begins fussing around in Yoongi’s arms. His eyes go wide at the foreign behavior and he immediately locks eyes with Jungkook across the room for assistance. Your boyfriend smiles at his friend’s nervousness and goes to grab your daughter before she starts crying 

When she instantaneously settles down at the feeling of Jungkook holding her, all seven girls harmoniously gasp in awe. 

“Oh my gosh, she loves you, Jeon!” Eunchae states. 

“I would sure hope so,” he replies with a proud grin. 

He kisses her head a couple times and she nuzzles against his shoulder, tucking her face into his neck and laying her adorable, chunky, baby hand on his chest. 

“Wow, never thought I’d see the day,” Taehyung notes from where he sits with a hand on Mina’s thigh.

“So, who’s next? I think Naru needs a playmate, right?” Nayeon asks the room, her eyebrows rising when she meets Mina’s gaze. 

Mina aggressively shakes her head while putting her hands up in surrender.

“Nuh uh, not yet, especially not after hearing about what Y/N went through,” she states.

“How are you doing, Y/N?” Tzuyu changes the subject to ask.

“I’m recovering, some days are worse than others,” you answer. “I honestly thought I was going to die.”

“I still can’t believe you did it without any pain meds,” Chaewon says with a shake of her head. 

“You and me both.”

“It was genuinely pure magic,” Jungkook comments, his hand gently patting Naru’s back. “She’s a fucking goddess.”

You send him a charming smile from across the room and he blows a kiss at you in return. 

“It was worth it, that’s all I know,” you respond.

“It totally was, look at your little girl! She’s perfect,” Eunchae says. 

“We can only hope the rest of us schmucks make children as lovely as Naru someday,” Jimin states while holding his glass up to cheers. “To our niece!”

Everyone raises their own glasses in solidarity, except for Jungkook, who lifts Naru up Lion King-style as she giggles and kicks her little feet in joy. 

The night continues with Naru being passed around the room a couple more times. She seems to enjoy her uncle Jin the most, probably because he’s an expert at making funny faces that cause her to cheerfully scream and laugh. Jihyo also garners much of her attention, with Naru making grabby hands at her every so often. Mina jokes it’s because Jihyo has big tits and your daughter is getting her confused with a source of nutrients. 

Your friends eventually say their goodbyes until all that remains are the vast amount of gifts they brought. You and Jungkook mutually agree to put them away in the morning and use this precious time for quality family bonding in bed. 

The two of you lay on your stomachs with Naru between you on the mattress. You both take turns tickling her and blowing raspberries on her stomach and thighs just to hear the perfect laugh you adore so much. It feels like pure, unadulterated bliss, and with Bam and Usagi both curled up by your feet, you feel utterly complete as a little family of five. 

Resting your head on your arm, you gaze at Jungkook as he admires his little girl. The adoration in his sparkling eyes makes you feel eternally grateful to your past self for the decision she made. Here you thought you were sleeping with Jungkook just to try it, and now your heart is reborn in more ways than one. It’s swollen to max capacity with both romantic love for your best friend and unconditional love for your daughter. 

Jungkook notices your stare and raises an eyebrow at you. When you don’t respond, he leans over Naru to kiss you and pull you from your reverie.  

“You gonna tell me why you’re looking at me like that, Bambi?” 

You shake your head.

“I don’t have to because you already know,” you respond. 

He smiles beautifully and tucks some of your hair behind your ear. 

“Yeah, I do.”

Jungkook kisses you again, smoothly gliding his lips over yours while he pours his love for you into the gesture. Ardently returning his kiss, you caress his cheek with one hand and move your lips in a gentle harmony with his. Your foreheads meet after pulling away and upon looking sideways, you see Naru playfully rolling side to side between you. You share a heartwarming laugh at her mannerisms, both of you so completely taken by your daughter and each other. 

“I’m so glad I asked you to try something new that night, Bams. Now we get to do everything together for the rest of our lives, starting with parenting.”

“Mm, same here, Koo.” You lean back and rest your head in your hand. “I wonder what other new stuff we’ll get up to.”

Jungkook hums inquisitively and tongues his cheek as he ponders his answer, but then his eyes light up with a mischievous grin. 

“Marriage?”

Taglist: @lovingkoalaface @starcandybby @junniesoleilkth @keylime4eva @kissyfacekoo @rpwprpwprpwprw @spideyjimin @jjeonjjk7 @joonlover1207 @annpeachy @rexana19 @heartwith0uthe @kosmos1307 @minyoongi7016 @magicalnachocreator @misschelliejeon @bubblyi3 @bhonbhon @polnaraffsrack @amarawayne @majesticjung-97 @kmpj9 @upo1313 @songbyeonkim @kikikaaa @glowjuli @avawants2havefun @hyeinwluv85s @someonegoood @kyljjk @lalaren @dna2723 @tteokbokibyjk @tatyhend @kookienooki @ana-marais98 @gimeow @importantflowersblog43 @minghaosimp @belleilichil @neurospicynugget @missdumpling190811 @jungkooksnerniemilk @imhereonlytoreadxoxo @kayswatanabe @fancypeacepersona @jeonsgf-97 @star-my @neg-l3ct @kelsyx33

[generalanachorcollective]

You've always had a weird gift. If you were to be in any danger, time just stopped until you were out of harms way.

It's always saved you beforehand, hasn't it? You've survived car crashes, tsunamis, earthquakes, everything inbetween. You could live life on the edge with no consequences. You could watch everything right before it went wrong. Maybe you were careless with it, living in crime filled areas or natural disaster zones, but it was fun.

...

But that was in the past, wasn't it?

Now you walk the lifeless streets of statues. You enter the homes of people forever stuck in time. Looking at moments forever in time, but only you can see it.

The world has stopped, all except you.

You've roamed the world for... days? Months? Decades? You aren't really sure. It may have even been a few minutes. All you know is that it's been enough time for you to visit all the major landmarks, see all the cities, for your skin to wrinkle, to try all the food, and...

Well, there's nothing else really. Everything's frozen after all. You have everything in the world, yet no one to share it with. You don't even know why the world has stopped to be honest.

You miss everyone, don't you? Even though they're right there, you still miss them. You miss your mother who always cared for you. You miss your sister who always told you to stop trying to play with your life and too live somewhere safe for once, unaware of your power. You even miss your harsh boss who would always complain about your sudden vacations. You just want to be able to talk with someone, anyone, anything again.

You cried out to the motionless clouds, screaming about how you wish you never had this stupid power, wishing you were able to live normally, cursing whatever gave you this "gift". You just wanted to die at this point

You closed your eyes after your rant, which were already clouded by tears, and laid on the ground, just waiting for whatever death to come and take you.

You don't even notice the edges of your vision blurring, or what seemed to be the sun getting brighter. Your last thought was simply wishing you hadn't tried playing your life so much.

...

The world started again, but you would never know.

wow this one was a long one-

Idk who to tag but I'll just tag my moot @scallywiggles

Also it's been awhile since I've did writing, so I'm pretty proud of this

You were born with a strange power. Whenever you are in immediate danger, time freezes until you move out of the way. One day, time freezes, but no matter how far you go...it doesn't unfreeze.

[h0efor2ho]

Hey!!! I really love your fics and I was wondering if you could write a fic about first time with seungcheol where y/n is surprised about how big cheol is. You don’t have to write this if you’re not comfortable doing it. Thank you muuuuch ☺️

This took me entirely to long to answer I'm sorry!! I'v been really sick the past couple of months and haven't been writing. I hope you enjoy <3 WC : 2081 TW: P in V, Unprotected, First time together, Size Kink

You knew Seungcheol was big, 'packing' as they say, youd be silly not to think that. He was 5'10, a whole 9 inches taller then you. His body was built, corded in muscle from hours at the gym and in the dance studio. Not to mention all the time's you sat on his lap, you could FEEL him. The way he always wears baggier pants because he says they are more comfortable. And lets not forget about his personality. It screamed 'BDE' So why in the world were you, on your back on his bed, eyes blown wide as you feel him press into you as he looms over you.

The two of you have danced around the idea of sleeping together for months now since you started dating, But you insisted you wait, you werent ready. Not after the last two guys you were seeing who after you slept with them a few times they up and vanished. You wanted to wait till you knew this was serious, and Seungcheol understood. He got it and would never pressure you into something you weren't ready for.  That didn't stop the heavy make out sessions though, which is how you ended up there, in his room on your back with him over you. 

Your legs on each side of him, his arms by your head, his face burried in your neck as he covers it with small bites and soothing licks, like a couple of teenagers. His hips having a mind of their own press into the aprex of you legs. You can feel just how big he actually is. The friction causing a jolt of pleasure to flow through you and a small whimper to slip out. Eye wide as he pulls back to look at you. "I'm...I'm sorry to far" he stammers out clearly flustered trying to climb off of you. Your hand shooting out, grabbs the front of his t-shirt "No wait" you whisper, your voice barely audible. "dont stop"you say pulling him closer, nose to nose, "I want you" you say, lips ghosting over his. 

He pulls back, eyes searching your. "Are you sure?" he asks hesitantly, his voice gruff. Your hands grip his shirt a little tighter, as you nod your head. "Yes" your voice low. "I'm sure" His gummy smile you love so much, spreads across his face before he leans down to smash his mouth to yours. He deepens the kiss. You moan softly, arching your back, pressing yourself against him. His hand slides down to the hem of your shirt before slipping under. His touch burning your skin as he slides up to your ribs.

He breaks the kiss, his breath ragged as he pulls back to look at you. "I've wanted you for so long," he admits. "I've dreamed of this moment, of you, of us." You cant help the smirk that plays on your lips. "Then show me" you say as you reach down and grip the hem of his shirt, gently pulling it up his body. "Show me what you have been dreaming about" The low throaty chuckle he lets out as he takes his shirt off is like music to your ears. You cant take your eyes off his body. You have never seen anything more attractive. 

"Your turn" he says as his gripp's the bottom of your shirt. You put your hands up as he pulls it off of you. His hands moving quickly, reaching behind you and unclasping your bra before helping pull it off you. "You are beautiful" He says as he gazes down at you, his eyes racking over your body, taking in every dip and curve of your exposed skin. He leans in cupping your face as he gives you a deep kiss before pulling away. Slowly he begins to slide his hands down your body. His fingers tracing your shoulder, over the curve of your breasts down to your hip till he meets the waistband of your pants.

 He hooks his fingers beneath the fabric, pulling them down slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. You lift your hips, helping him as he slides the pants off, leaving you in just your little red thong.

He leans down, his lips trailing kisses down your neck, your collarbone, your breasts. You arch into his touch, your body aching with need. His hands slide but the outside of your thighs till he is met with the thin strip that hold the fabric of your panties in place. His fingers hooking into the waistband of them, pulling down slowly over your thighs till he pulls them off your ankles. As he reveals your most intimate parts, he takes a moment to admire you, his eyes dark with desire. "You're perfect," he murmurs, his voice filled with awe.

You reach for him, pulling him closer smashing your lips into him. Craving him, his touch, his heat, his everything. Youv never felt this needy before. He complies, his body covering yours, his weight pressing you into his  mattress. You can feel the hard length of him pressing against you, and you can't wait any longer. Your hands drag down his back till you meet the waistband of his sweats. You try, and fail to push them over his very full ass. "Off" you mumble against his lips as you again paw at the waistband of the pants. 

Seungcheol chuckles against your lips, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. He pulls back slightly, his eyes meeting yours. "Impatient, are we?" he teases. You roll your eyes at him as he sits up. Without waiting for a response, his hands go to the waistband of his sweats. You watch, as he slowly pushes them down over his hips, down his thighs slowly reveling his cock to you. Its hard and thick and to big it cant fully stand to attention with a pretty pink head thats already glistening in the low lights of the room. 

He fully steps of of his sweats and girps his cock, And your brain short circuts. Youv never seen a dick as big as his in your life. By the smirk on his face, he clearly notices your reaction, and is  clearly pleased with the effect he's having on you. He strokes himself slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. "Like what you see?" he asks, his voice a low, teasing drawl. You can only nod, your mouth dry, the ability to form words leaving you completely.  You've never seen anything so raw, so utterly perfect. The sight of him, so confident and unapologetic in his desire, sends a rush of heat through your body, wetness pooling between your legs. 

He climbs back onto the bed, his body covering yours once more as he hovers over you before leaning in to once again kiss you. His hand traveling down your stomach going lower till he finds your center. Slowly he slides his finger through your lips, coating his finger in your wetness till they meet your clit. His presses circles in you with a teasing precision, sending jolts of pleasure straight to your core. You gasp into his kiss, your body arching into his touch, craving more. He takes his time, his finger moving in slow, deliberate circles, building your pleasure with each pass. He breaks the kiss, his breath ragged as he looks down at you,  "You're so wet," he murmurs, his voice a low growl. "So ready for me."

You can only nod, your voice stolen. He slides a finger inside you, then another, stretching you, preparing you for what's to come. He leans down, his lips capturing one of your nipples, sucking and nipping until you're writhing beneath him. His fingers moving at slowly agonizing pace in and out. "Cheol" You whimper "Please" you can't help but reach down, your hand wrapping around his length. He's hot and hard, velvety soft skin over steel, and you can feel the pulse of his heartbeat beneath your touch. Seungcheol groans, his hips thrusting into your hand. "You're driving me crazy," he mutters, "I need to be inside you."

"Please" you say again. His eyes meet yours, a hint of amusement. "Impatient, aren't we?" he teases, but there's no mistaking the urgency in his movements as he positions himself at your entrance, the head of his cock pressing against you. You can feel the stretch, the burn, as he slowly pushes inside, inch by agonizing inch. You gasp, your body arching to accommodate him, your nails digging into his back. He's big, so big, and you can feel every ridge, every vein, as he fills you completely. He pauses, giving you a moment to adjust, his breath ragged, his body trembling with restraint. "You okay?" he asks.  You nod, your voice barely a whisper. "Yes. More please."

His thrusts become more urgent, his body moving against yours in a steady rhythm. His hands grip your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as he drives into you, each thrust deeper and harder than the last. You wrap your legs around him, pulling him closer, urging him deeper. Leaning over you, hands on each side of your head. The sensation is overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and pain that leaves you gasping for breath. You can feel every inch of him, the way he fills you completely, stretching you to your limit.

His breath is hot against your ear, his voice a low growl. "Feel so good," he murmurs, into your skin. "So tight. So wet." You can only moan in response, your body lost in the sensation of him moving inside you. Your hands roam his back, his shoulders, his ass, feeling the play of muscles beneath his skin. You can feel the sweat slicking your bodies, the slide of skin against skin, the heat building between you. He pulls back, his eyes meeting yours. "I want to see you come," he says, his voice a low command. "I want to feel you fall apart around me." You can feel your orgasm building, your body tensing, ready to explode. "Seungcheol," you gasp, your voice a plea. "I'm close. So close."

He increases his pace, his hips moving faster, his thrusts more urgent. You meet him stroke for stroke, your body arching into his, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps. The pleasure builds, a coiled spring ready to snap. And then it does, your body convulsing as waves of pleasure wash over you. You cry out his name, your body clamping down on him, milking him for all he's worth. He groans, his body tensing as he finds his own release, spilling himself inside you, filling you with his cum. 

As the waves of your orgasm subside, your bodies entwined, your breaths slowly returning to normal. Seungcheol's weight on top of you is comforting, his skin hot and slick against yours. You can feel his heartbeat, strong and steady, against your chest. He lifts his head, looking down at you. "You're incredible," he murmurs, his voice soft and husky. "So beautiful when you come." You smile, your cheeks flushing with a mix of embarrassment and pleasure. "So are you," you reply, your voice barely a whisper. "I've never felt anything like that before." He chuckles, a low, satisfied sound. "Neither have I," he admits, his eyes never leaving yours. "You drive me crazy, you know that?"

You reach up, cupping his cheek. "Good crazy, I hope," you tease, a playful smile tugging at your lips. He leans into your touch, his eyes closing for a moment. "The best kind," he murmurs. After a moment he slowly lifts himself, slowly inching out of you, you let out a breath at the slight pain and emptiness. Your only without his touch for a moment as he lays down next to yo on the bed, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. Laying a gentel kiss on your head as you listen to his heartbeat. 

"You okay?" he asks, his voice low in your ear.  You nod, a contented sigh escaping your lips. "More than okay," you reply, your voice drowsy with satisfaction. His arms tighten around you. "Good," he murmurs. "Because I plan on doing that to you again. And again. And again." You let out a small giggle in response. "Im really glad we waited" he says before placing another kiss to the top of your head. "Yeah, me to" You smile to your self, knowing this time you made the right choice.

[vxnillabxn]

vannie!! hi!! can i request pre relationship/only recently dating zaynemc with zayne letting his guard down and sharing a bed with mc, like finally being able to trust himself to sleep around her? tyyy ❤️❤️

𐙚˙⋆.˚ zayne x gn!reader ꒰੭

𐙚˙⋆.˚ fluff! ꒰੭

𐙚˙⋆.˚ sfw! ꒰੭

𐙚˙⋆.˚ do not translate/copy/repost! ꒰੭

﹙♡﹚HI! i absolutely love this request! ♡ i finally pulled zayne this morning (i'm broke now) so i've been having the warmest and fluffiest thoughts about our doctor—husband zaynie! thank you so much for requesting, i hope you like it as much as i do! ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ

after two months of dating, you finally had the confidence to ask if you could stay over.

sure, you've done it before, since you'd known each other for a while, but it always had a reason; you two had to work on something, it was too rainy outside for him to drive you home, or you fell asleep and he was too kind not to wake you up.

so now, when you quietly asked if you could stay over, it felt different.

it held a different meaning, a different tone, because you two were now a couple, and, unquestionably, things felt more intimate than before.

he felt the shift, too. he felt your uncertainty. he knew you didn't have ulterior motives or a hidden meaning behind your words; you truly just wanted to stay…

but he understood why it felt so unfamiliar, yet not unpleasant.

he nodded in response, fixing his glasses as he looked away.

after dinner, you felt a little bit more comfortable upon treating your taste buds with his delicious food. with a happy tummy, and a happy mind, you felt energized enough to wash the dishes and help him clean up.

the clock was ticking, and it kept getting later, and later.

until it was time to sleep.

zayne worked a little bit more, as you walked around his bedroom. same bed, same room, same everything.

different sensation.

he's never slept around you, but he graciously let you use his bed in those are occasions where you had to. would he sleep with you now, as your boyfriend? would he stay up because of work?

or rather, now that he actually has the choice, will he choose to sleep with you this time?

you felt nervous, and you approached him.

“zaynie?” you softly call out. when he turns around to acknowledge you, you smile. “can i borrow some clothes to sleep?”

he stares. he didn't expect to hear those words one day.

he averts his gaze, simply nodding once. it is a vague gesture, but nothing behind it screams “nonchalant”. in fact, his fingers slightly tremble over the keyboard.

you soon take the liberty to pick up one of his button-up shirts. you undress, you slip it on, and you get under the covers, looking at his back as he works.

he won't look. he can't. if he does, he'd forget about the world around him and just focus on you, which isn't bad, but… it's too soon.

you wait for him, until your eyelids grow heavy. inevitably, you fall asleep, inhaling the clean scent of his detergent and the clean pillowcase that your cheek nuzzles against.

an hour goes by, and he finally stands up. he takes a deep breath before looking at you, peacefully sleeping around everything that's his. you're surrounded by him.

and even then, all that you are missing is, ironically, him. in flesh and bone.

he won't say it out loud, but he is scared of hurting you. he is scared of having nightmares, scared of pushing you away or shutting you down.

he is scared of scaring you with his burdens.

and yet, you slept so peacefully, so trusting, so deeply. it's like your body knows to trust him blindly, knowing he would never attack you, not even in your most vulnerable state.

he undresses and puts on his sleepwear, and he doubts before pulling the sheets down, not wanting to take away the warmth from you.

his breath hitches when he finally takes your figure; his shirt engulfing you as you curled up.

he quietly settles in, still and tense, looking up at the ceiling.

he tries to force himself to sleep, but he can't. he's too scared still, too nervous, too doubtful.

but when you shift with furrowed brows, turning around to face him, you reach for him unconsciously. when your hands finally meet his chest, you comfortably cuddle him, falling back into deep slumber.

he freezes.

how can you be so trusting? how can you unconsciously look for him? how can you feel so relaxed while in your most weak state?

he lets out a shaky breath, before his arms surround you. he feels your warmth, your soft breaths, the way you slightly twitch now and then.

and finally, finally… it made sense.

if you could trust him enough to ask to stay, enough to sleep beside him so vulnerably, enough to willingly spend your time with him, —something he considers to be precious— then why can't he do the same?

it was illogical.

it was insane.

you had to be scared too, when you asked him if you could stay. yet, you still did it. you faced him, and nothing wrong happened.

he decided he'd face his fear too. he hoped nothing would go wrong, hoped tomorrow morning would be just as peaceful.

after all, how could anything go wrong when you were so comfortably nestled in his arms, and when he felt so warm holding you?

after a few more minutes, he finally closed his eyes. lulled by your calm breathing… he slept.

and it might seem like something small, something that should come naturally to a couple.

but, for both of you, it will forever be remembered as a moment of trust, of love.

of vulnerability.

three important things he'll only discover by being next to you.

[grudgecollector]

Closer to the mirror | Nam gyu / Fem!Reader

You are reading part four

Story Summary: After a year, Nam-gyu and Su-bong are tired of being shut-ins and decide to go clubbing. They are forced to come to the stark realization that they have certainly changed far more than they cared to admit.

Luckily for them, you just so happened to be working that night.

Words: 2.9k

Tags/Warnings: Nam-gyu and Thanos have PTSD, canon divergence, Thanos lives, Nam-gyu hates himself a little, light angst, typical Squid Game violence, loosely proof read

A/N: Okay fine I guess I'll give you guys a semi happy chapter.

I'm not entirely sure how much I like this chapter. But it could just be because I've been looking at it for too long, and it was really hard for me to write for some reason LMAO

Thank YOU for all the love and support!! You guys have been amazing when it comes to this story, it makes me so incredibly happy.

And do not forget that if you have any requests you'd like to make regarding future stories, one-shots, headcanons, send them my way if you'd like!

STORY MASTERLIST

Regret. That was what Nam-gyu felt when a gunshot rang through the sandy courtyard. 

Remorse hanging over his head like a thunderous storm as he watched a woman’s body fall limply to the ground. Crumbling into herself as blood poured from the gaping wound in her head. Her life snuffed during what should have been an innocent children’s game.

Terror sank its teeth into Nam-gyu, the screams of the other contestants echoing in his ringing ears as they ran past him, a teal blur in his vision as the world seemed to slow around him. 

He watched as people tripped over their own feet in order to escape, their fruitless endeavor met with the kiss of death. Corpses lined the sandy floor around him, blood soaking into the jumpsuit he wore, making bile rise in his throat as the thick stench of copper assaulted his nose. 

Nam-gyu’s body was frozen, his ears ringing as he cautiously listened to the robotic voice teasingly shout “Green light!” 

It was a miracle that he had been able to get past the finish line, his body trembling violently as he braced his hands on his knees. Nam-gyu’s mind was reeling, the pressure of fear smothering him as listened to the loud popping bangs and screams of his fellow contestants. 

When the game finally concluded, they were led back to the large room they woke up in. Nam-gyu was quick to find his way back to Thanos, latching onto the familiarity of him, and using their similar circumstances as a way to form a quick bond. He, now more than ever, did not want to be alone with his racing thoughts. 

As the day dragged on Nam-gyu could barely tear his eyes away from one of the contestants. The elusive MG Coin in the flesh. The very reason Nam-gyu was in these dreaded games in the first place, sitting just mere feet from him. 

It shocked Nam-gyu at first when he saw Myung-gi’s face on the large screen above the pink guards, a small smirk playing at the corners of his lips, his mind running wild with possibilities. 

He was the first of the two to go up to the scammer before the first game. His words wrapped in false admiration, with Thanos joining him, mockery blending into insults. Nam-gyu watched excitedly as Thanos talked down to him, demanding his money back in full. Even going as far to attempt to strike the man.

“You don’t wanna be on the news.” He had said holding Thanos back, not yet knowing that they had already sealed their fate. 

After the first game Nam-gyu found Myung-gi again, taunting him as he ate. Months of bottled up rage finally reached a boiling point, denial twisting his mind as he searched for someone other than himself to blame for his misfortune. He had lost everything because of the man in front of him, the condescending look he gave Nam-gyu making his face burn angrily. 

He had no qualms about abusing the man, kicking him in the back as Thanos beat him senseless. The two of them venting out their frustrations through each violent attack. Nam-gyu could practically see red as Myung-gi writhed beneath Thanos, trying to fight back against the two of them. 

Unfortunately for Nam-gyu, their twisted form of therapy had been cut short. 

One of the older players called out to them, berating their shameful actions, before taking matters into his own hands. It had only caused Nam-gyu’s anger to build, fingers twisting inside the confines of his jacket sleeves as the pain in his shin pulsated. 

Just before the second game, when Nam-gyu saw the colorful pills Thanos had hidden away in his necklace, he saw an opportunity. 

Nam-gyu didn’t want to die here, he didn’t want to die knowing the last conversation you both had was a fight. And he knew the only way he would be able to live was by indulging the hunger inside of him. 

After successfully convincing Thanos to give him one, he greedily took it and let all of his worries melt away, the thoughts of you pushed to the back of his mind as he clinged to his teammate.

It almost reminded him of the fun the both of you would have, a high that left him in the clouds. A smile permanently etched onto his face with no care in the world. He felt powerful, unshakable, absolved of any guilt… His eyes avoiding the thick crowd of contestants when the hallucinations started. 

There was a certain comfort that was brought on by Thanos’ presence. It was rejuvenating, reminding him of the exact reason he started using in the first place. It made him feel invincible, like he could do anything, be anyone. 

Thanos distracted him, making him feel less alone in these bloodsoaked games. Allowing Nam-gyu to leech off of him whenever he saw fit, joining in on the torment of Myung-gi. Wanting to make the man feel the same pain he had felt. 

It was easy to slip back into a warped version of himself when someone else enabled him. Allowing him to give rein to his delicious sins, the feeling whispering to his weakened soul. He was able to tuck away his shame, and relish in the feeling of bliss. 

As the games dragged on, and the higher Nam-gyu got, his resentment towards Myung-gi only got worse. It was a pitiful attempt to cope with his loss, not wanting to admit to himself that he had gotten himself into this mess. 

Nam-gyu projected his unfiltered anger onto the other contestants as well, tormenting those who he believed were weaker than him. 

The drugs that coursed through his veins wore down his morality, making him laugh in the face of death. He became a monster. Pushing himself to the limit, finding it easy to hurt others as a way to soothe his raging emotions. 

And at night your voice whispered in his ears, encouraging him to survive, urging him forward. He swore he could see you in the shadows of the darkened room, hiding yourself away whenever he tried to get a better look. 

Nam-gyu was quickly losing his grip on reality. Feeling as if he was drifting through a nightmare, awaiting the moment where he would wake, your fingertips pushing a strand of hair away from his sleepy eyes. 

On the fourth day, the morning before the fourth game, hundreds of armed men stormed through the vast tunnels of the island. Rescuing what remained of the contestants, effectively shutting down the wicked operations of the “Frontman”. 

It was already too late for Nam-gyu, though, his actions irreversible. His hands were permanently tainted, Se-mi’s blood soaking through his skin and into his very soul, her dead eyes haunting him. 

He spent weeks locked away in Su-bong’s guest room. The man himself had invited his new friend to stay for as long as he needed. Neither one of them wanted to be alone with themselves after everything they had gone through, confiding in the other for comfort as they suffered through sleepless nights, relying on the remainder of Su-bong’s pills to get them by temporarily. 

The taste of them was metallic on Nam-gyu’s tongue, hallucinations materializing in the dark corners of the guest room. Disembodied voices whispering in his ears as he attempted to sleep. Wishing more than anything to have you by his side to bring him back to reality. 

Most nights Nam-gyu would just sit in the living room, listening to the chatter on the TV as he stared into nothingness. His mind was still reeling even weeks after the games had ended, finding comfort in Su-bong’s presence. 

His newfound roommate had been dealing with things a lot better than him, finding it easy to hide his emotions behind a veil of humor and exaggerated enthusiasm. Nam-gyu could see past the facade Su-bong put on, but he didn’t dare say anything, allowing his friend to cope with their situation in his own way. 

As time ticked on, Su-bong grew bored of being cooped up inside his apartment, urging Nam-gyu to accompany him to the arcade. Convincing him that it would get his mind off of things. 

“You’re really starting to depress me, bro.” Su-bong had told him, softly kicking a foot into Nam-gyu’s thigh as he glanced up from his phone, “Let’s go do something, I’m tired of sitting around all the time, it’s making me antsy.” He brought his hands up towards his head, wiggling his fingers around with widened eyes to further prove his point. 

Nam-gyu was grateful that he was, at the very least, able to get one positive thing out of the games. He gained a best friend, their shared trauma creating an unbreakable bond between the two of them. Someone who made him look at the brighter side of life, much like you had done for him. 

Thoughts of you were constantly drifting in and out of his mind. There were so many things he wanted to say to you, knowing that pathetic apologies would never be enough for all the pain he had caused you. His abandonment had more than likely ripped a hole in your chest, your beautiful heart bruised from his cruelty. 

Nam-gyu never deserved your comfort, your loving whispers against his skin, the way you would look at him with hearts in your eyes. He tore you down, bringing you to his level of addiction and almost killing you in the process. 

The guilt still churned in his stomach, making him sick, the feeling weaving around his heart like rusty barbed wire. 

Nam-gyu knew deep down that if he truly did love you, if he wanted to keep you safe, he would stay out of your life forever. Hoping that someday you would be able to settle down with someone more deserving, having a life worth living. 

The thought itself made Nam-gyu feel like he was swallowing a hot iron, but he was willing to set aside his selfishness if it meant you could be happy. 

That was the sentiment Nam-gyu internally repeated to himself as he sat across from you. 

The neon signs hanging on the window of the 7-Eleven droned next to Nam-gyu’s head. The hum of electricity coursing through the thin glass tubes. The sound easing itself through the silence that surrounded the small table outside of the convenient store. 

The effects of the pill were finally wearing off, the dull simmer of a buzz remaining in his head. He was thankful that it was over, but a part of him still wished he was high just so he had the confidence to speak to you without fear of his voice shaking. 

All the things he planned on saying evaded him at that moment, nervousness beginning to peek its head around the corners of his mind. After so long of being away from you, he was scared of the response he would get. 

So he stayed quiet, letting the silence fester into a bitter awkwardness as he slurped down the instant noodles in front of him. Listening to Su-bong hum to himself as he drummed his fingers against the table, clearly bored but staying quiet for the most part. 

The tension was palpable, suffocating him like smoke in a burning building. 

Nam-gyu could barely look up from his food, seeing you stare down at a moth that had landed next to your styrofoam cup. Its wings opening and closing like a slow breath. 

He noticed how you fidgeted with the sleeve of your jacket, one of the most obvious signs that you had something on your mind, too afraid to say it out loud. 

In a way it was nice to know that you hadn’t changed, your little quirks still the same. He watched how you chewed on your lip subtly, letting out a steady breath, your fingers slowly dragging against the surface of the table. 

“Fuck.” Su-bong broke the silence suddenly, making both Nam-gyu and you look up at him, “My vape died.” He practically whined, a dramatic sigh coming from him. 

Nam-gyu could barely resist the urge to roll his eyes, a small smile creeping up as he fished his own out of his pants pocket. He could feel your eyes on him, watching the exchange between the two of them quietly. 

“You’re a lifesaver, bro.” Su-bong smiled, taking the bright pink disposable from his friend.

You shuffled a little bit in your chair again, picking up your drink off of the table. Nam-gyu watched as you stirred the straw around, your eyes watching the ice swirl in the liquid. He knew you probably had a thousand questions to ask him, your beautiful eyes looking between the two of them briefly. 

“So when did you guys become friends?” You finally asked, continuing to awkwardly fidget with the straw. 

He knew what your question was hinting at, all those times he had spent venting to you about the pretentious rapper sitting next to him. 

During Nam-gyu’s time at the Club Pentagon, Su-bong had made him feel invisible, barely acknowledging his presence. Greedily accepting free drinks and drugs with a snobbish smile and an almost sarcastic, but enthusiastic sounding thank you.

At the time Nam-gyu believed it would make him feel important. But in reality he was making hollow connections that would go nowhere, his generosity insignificant in the grand scheme of things. 

He pathetically allowed himself to be pushed around and teased by the older man, laughing it off as some poorly executed joke.

Nam-gyu was unsure how to answer the question. He didn’t want to lie to you, but the truth itself was something he couldn’t bring himself to reveal just yet. Not wishing to dig up the past while there was already so much on his plate. 

“About a year ago, I think.” Su-bong answered for him, leaning back in his chair and propping his foot up in the seat next to you. “You know…” The man smirked, glancing over at his friend, “Nam-gyu here has told me a lot about you.” 

Nam-gyu glared over at his friend, jabbing his elbow into Su-bong’s ribs harshly. His friend laughed, bringing the pink vape to his lips, eyeing the both of you. 

“Has he now?” You asked curiously, crossing your arms on the table and leaning closer. “I hope it wasn’t anything too bad.” You joked, eyes falling on Nam-gyu, making his heart stutter in his chest.

Su-bong chuckled, placing a hand on Nam-gyu’s shoulder, “Oh don’t worry, it was only good things.” He started, “Here, I’ll give you an example.” He then put on a whiny voice to imitate his friend, slumping his shoulders with his mouth downturned in a comedic frown. 

“Su-booong I miss her soo much, broo. Oh, woe is me!”, “I wonder if she still thinks about me.”, ”This one time we did this and this and that, oh! And this one time” blah blah blah.” Su-bong shook his head, the smile not leaving his lips as he wrapped an arm around his friend’s shoulders, "Poor guy, my heart broke for him. Looking like a kicked puppy and shit.” 

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up.” Nam-gyu said, his hands coming up to his face, his cheeks burning, mortified as he listened to you stifle a laugh. 

Your hand dropping from your mouth, your smile radiant as you let out another giggle, “Aww, Nam-gyu don’t be embarrassed.” You reached over to move Nam-gyu’s hands, “I think that is just sooo sweet.” You joked, softly pinching his reddened cheek as a way to tease him. 

Nam-gyu let out a groan, bowing his head down as the both of you started laughing again. He was glad that the awkward tension had finally started to dissipate, but why did it have to be at his expense? 

“I’ll have to tell you about that one time Nam-gyu got locked out of our apartment-” You cut yourself off with a laugh, “Oh my god- that shit was so funny.” 

“No it wasn’t!” Nam-gyu argued, “I was freezing my fucking ass off out there!” He sat up straight, pointing at you, “What about the time you sneezed so hard you accidentally-” 

“Absolutely not!” You shouted suddenly, cutting him off, eyes widening before you burst out in laughter, “You can not bring that shit up! You promised me we’d never talk about it again!” 

The sound of your laugh made Nam-gyu smile wider, never thinking he would hear such a beautiful sound again. In that moment, he figured that maybe stewing in his misery for months wasn’t so bad if this was the outcome. 

Comfortability weaved its way between the three of you as you continued to regale stories of your relationship, Su-bong intently listening and providing his own commentary, and Nam-gyu adding his own anecdotes. Their conversation switched naturally between various different topics, tension now completely forgotten with each joyous laugh that came from the three of you. 

Nam-gyu fiddled with the necklace he's wearing, his hands half tucked within the confines of his long sleeve shirt. He nervously chews on his lip as he watches you smile at something Su-bong said, your chin resting in the palm of your hand as you listened to him prattle on about the things they usually do in their day to day.

It was as if the three of them were old friends who had finally reconnected after years of being apart. In a way, Nam-gyu guessed it wasn’t very far from the truth. 

He was grateful for the opportunity to be able to talk to you again in such a way, the storm clouds in his mind were finally beginning to part, slivers of sunlight seeping through the cracks.

[jellypawss]

I need help.

So, I've been with my partner for almost three years now. I shouldn't have gotten into the relationship, but I was with him when I was 13-17 and we got back together when I was 24. I was struggling with extremely bad depression and alcohol addiction. We had our fights, I for sure wasn't perfect. Flash forward to now, I'm completely sober, going to a psychiatrist, medicated and working on myself. I'm improving.... you'd think that's amazing right?

My partner puts the blame on me for everything. His shoes are missing, yell at Ashton, he can't screw in a screw, throw the chair in Ashton's direction, mustards out, yell at Ashton. Like it's almost comical how emotionally impaired he is.

I decided I was done on the fourth of July when we were watching fireworks and I expressed my discomfort with how close we were to these people who were drunk and misfiring fireworks. I asked to scoot back, I got ignored. I asked if we could leave, I got ignored. I'm autistic, it's hot as fuck, my feet are raw from the sand, there's fireworks, kids screaming, etc. I was keeping my cool, if my fellow autistics know how hard that is. So, I became a little petty and started playing vulgar music. He then took his keys and chucked them at me, hitting my chest and face and told me to "fucking leave." Everyone looked at me like I was the psychopath.

He constantly gossips with his grandma and his cousin about me. His cousin's kids were calling me fat, hitting me, wiping their hands on me, etc. the whole time. Even the adults were poking fun at my weight. I was the target. They even tore me down about my previous issues with alcohol.

He constantly makes fun of people who are overweight, a minority, trans/gay, etc. I'm genuinely over this relationship and he shows all the signs of a narcissist.

His grandma and him get into screaming matches all the damn time over the littlest things yet even with all their poking and prodding at me, they have never seen me 1/100th of the angry they get every single damn day, yet I'm still the bad guy.

What I'm saying is, I need to get out of here seriously. I have a car, but it's not registered yet and I don't have any family nearby. They are all north and i'm in South Carolina. I have belongings and I'm thinking about getting a small apartment and seeing if my uncle can drive a uhaul but I have to give him money every month for rent so I have like nothing right now.

I know I'm asking a lot, and I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, I apologize to him for everything, and I've only heard him say sorry like once. Tomorrow is my fucking birthday, and I have to worry about if my cats and I are going to have a roof over our head. I'm just tired and I'm sorry for the long vent, thank you for reading.

If you can help, thank you. If you feel like sharing, thank you. I appreciate you and I really am sorry.

@AshBearBeans (venmo)

$AshBearBeanss (cashapp)

paypal.me/jellypaws

[dodger432101]

Your First Day - Mr Ring-A-Ding x Reader Part 1

[Here we goooo! Hope you guys don't mind a little spooky start. Hehe. Just want to say, this will also be posted (like my other fic and all the stuff I've been writing from your requests) on ao3 under the user Unassuming_Mouse, so if you want to check it out there and read through the other stuff I've written on a more compact space then feel free to do so! Anyway, hope you enjoy!]

Your ever-annoying alarm wakes you up. With a tired groan, you whack the top of it, unintentionally knocking it off the nightstand and onto the floor. At least it's stopped beeping.

After a small breakfast, a quick shower, brushing your teeth and getting dressed, you leave your house and set off to work. It's your first day and you want to get there at least on time. The morning Miami air is cool against your face, helping you wake up completely as you walk to the cinema. Palazzo is currently closed to the public, with work still being done on the building, but the interior and everything within needs maintenance, which is what you've been hired for. A caretaker of a quaint little picture house, look at you go.

Of course, you've heard all the talk about the place. 15 people going missing, only to suddenly appear after 3 months. The previous caretaker dying in the mysterious explosion that happened on the same day the missing people came back. Something resembling a cartoon character floating out of Palazzo. You don't let it get to you, it's probably just rumors made up to explain the work being done on the building.

It doesn't take you long to get there, your boss -The owner of the cinema- is standing outside on his phone. There's still scaffolding around the building, with people already up there. At your footsteps your boss looks up, smiling and putting his phone away when he sees it's you. “Ah, you're here early.” You give a bashful smile in return. Of course you got up earlier than necessary to get here. There's a part of you that's ecstatic about looking after the interior, making it look all fancy and new for when it reopens. Plus, there's all the machines and film reels to take a peek at. Who could blame you for wanting to get here first thing?

“Well, you said there's extra theatres being added. I wanted to, you know, get started right away with what's currently inside so I don't get a pile-up of maintenance that needs doing.” It's not a complete lie, you know there's already a lot that needs doing. Getting ahead never hurt anyone.

Your boss’s smile grows at your enthusiasm. “Yes, things are moving along quite quickly. It'd be good to clear up any urgent maintenance now before the new projectors and whatnot gets installed. Just hope you'll get more done than the last few before you run out screaming.” You stare at him as he chuckles.

“Why would I do that?”

His smile becomes sharper, like a kid that's about to tell some ghost story around a campfire. “I hired, well, three other caretakers before you took interest in the job. All of ‘em claimed that there's something in there. Moving stuff around, footsteps coming from empty rooms, lights and other things turning on by themselves. Seem to think that the guy who died in the explosion is haunting the place. None of ‘em lasted a month before they quit.”

Holy shit, there was some truth to those rumors. Now you're going to be playing caretaker in a haunted picture house. Fantastic. Forcing down the shivers that threatened to run up your spine at the thought of some ghost roaming the theatres, you give a hopeful smile to your boss. “Well, maybe he'll like me more!” You share a laugh as he pats you on the shoulder.

“Let's hope so. Oh, and avoid the first theatre -its projector room in particular-, if you could. They're still doing work on the roof, that's where the explosion blasted through. I don't know how stable the ceiling is, wouldn't want you getting hurt.” You nod, then he gives a wave before getting into his car and driving away. Well, haunted cinema, let's see what you have in store.

The inside is what you'd expect. Most of it looks untouched, still the same from when the place was first built. It's a little tacky, but nostalgic at the same time. Could definitely do with some cleaning. You walk down the hallway, checking your phone for the list of tasks you were sent. Huh.. it's taking a while for things to load. Surely the service can't be that bad in here. No matter, it's on the screen now-

-Hi there!-

That.. wasn't there, at the top of the list, when you checked earlier this morning. It stops you in your tracks, turns your blood cold. Your eyes dart around you, breaths picking up. No, no, don't let something like this get to you. It's probably just your boss trying to spook you. This and that story about the previous caretakers, it's just him teasing the new employee, it has to be! With a deep, calming breath, you carry on your way, ignoring the feeling of eyes drilling into the back of your head.

At the moment, the only “urgent” things were bust lightbulbs and other minor repairs. Things you could handle yourself without needing to get in an actual technician. God help you if any of the complicated machinery breaks. After a needed stretch, you remember that there’s food and refreshments in the diner connected to the building. It was a recent installment, something to keep customers in, but your boss said that you were free to grab a snack or drink if you needed it. No one but employees and construction workers would be using it up for a while. You've just gotten to the start of the hallway when the sound of a door slamming has you swiftly turning around. The fear from earlier surges back, you struggle but manage to force it down. It was probably just the workers banging about outside. There's no one but you in here.

The lights of the kitchen are already on when you get there. Ignoring that fact for your own sanity, you get a drink out of the fridge and take a generous sip before putting it on the counter while you check your list. As soon as that page opens you let out a yelp, your phone falling out of your hand. The text at the top of the list has been replaced.

-Good job!-

What the hell is going on?! No, wait, maybe it's just your boss sending a random message of encouragement. Yeah, it's weird that he's communicating on the list of tasks he sent you, but that has to be what this is. Right? Pick up your phone, butter fingers. Just out of curiosity, you check when the page had been edited. 1:24. The exact time you'd stopped to take a break. You know that because you'd checked the time before you came here. That's either a spooky coincidence.. or..

You look up from the list, just in time to watch a blur of something small and blue duck behind the door. What in the everliving fuck was that?! Nothing! It was nothing! Stop working yourself up. There's no ghost, the only thing in this building is you. And by the whistling getting closer, also a construction worker. Thankfully it is, the guy gives a polite wave before he grabs a couple drinks out of the fridge. He opens one and takes a sip. “You the new caretaker then?” You just nod, nursing your own drink, which he returns with one of his own. “The lights by the front door were flickering when I came in. Dunno if they just don' like me or if they're actually faulty.” You look to the side with furrowed eyebrows while he chuckles. They hadn't been flickering at all when you passed by them earlier, both times in fact.

“I'll have a look at them.” Maybe the bulbs were starting to go. Something he'd said catches your attention. “Do the lights usually pick and choose who they like?” Just saying that puts a smile on your face. What a ridiculous question.

Still, he just chuckles again before answering. “Seems like the whole building does. The last caretakers before you, well, one of them was a bit of a jackass to be honest. Don't know how he wasn't fired on his first day. Not even a week had passed, that guy came sprinting out the front door like the devil himself was chasing ‘im. And I can't lie, always feels like there's eyes on me in here. Something's just.. not right.” Well.. that's reassuring! “Just don't tell your boss I said that. We've been trying to act all stoic about it, but.. yeah, something's off about this place.”

“Have you or the other workers ever.. seen anything?”

“Oh, we don't hang around in here long enough for that!” With his drink empty, he crushes the can in one hand before chucking it into the nearby bin. “Speaking of, I should get these to the guys. Nice meetin’ you.” He gives you a wave before walking out with the other drinks in his hand. Now you're alone in here again. In a building that's chased multiple people out and unnerves even more. Great. Just great! After finishing your drink and scoffing a protein bar down to keep your hunger at bay, you walk to the entrance to take a look at these supposedly flickering lights.

They're perfectly fine. Nothing seems wrong with the bulbs, they're bright as can be, consistently bright too. Maybe this cinema does have favourites. But.. why don't they flicker for you? You stare up at them as you ponder the strange stories you've heard today, along with your own experiences. The more things that happen, the less your theory of all this being one elaborate prank makes sense. That construction worker seemed fairly genuine, and he hadn't wasted much time leaving after your conversation. And those messages on the list, surely they couldn't have been from your boss. But only you and him have access to it, who else could -or would- put stuff on there? And so directed at you? Whoever it was either has impeccable timing or they can see you too, evident by that second message. Was someone.. watching you?

The jingle of your phone ringing makes you jump. It's your boss. “Hey! Just wanted to check in, see how you're doing in there.” Huh.. so phone calls came through fine, but a shared doc takes a good minute to load?

“I'm doing good, got just about all of the urgent jobs done.”

“Well I know that, you sent me that message!”

A cold, sharp stake drives into your heart. “I.. never sent you a message.”

“What?” You can just hear him over the blood pumping in your ears. “But.. I got a message from you like, 10 minutes ago. It says all the stuff you've done.”

Fear has you backing up towards the door. “No, no that wasn't me. I've only been using my phone to check the list you sent me.”

There's silence on the other end for a few seconds. “I.. um, w-well that's.. odd.” Yeah no shit. “Uh, if you've done all of that then I don't see any reason for you to hang around in there. Sounds like it's spooked you plenty for one day.” You're instantly out the door, not daring to take a look behind you. “Tomorrow I’d like for you to test some of the projectors currently in the building. We have plenty of new film reels after the explosion destroyed basically all we had in stock, but since then no one's gotten around to taking a look at the actual machines. Anyway, good work today. See you tomorrow morning!” The call ends with a beep, but you're too busy speed walking away to move it from your ear.

Back in Palazzo, a little figure watches you leave from the window, his little antennae drooping as you walk out of his eyesight.

[mscaseys]

Cheering and screaming at your previous replies because of how spot-on they are every time about the insane reception of Gemma and the subsequent violence/racism because... yes. Yes. YES. It's tiring, it's exhausting, all the twists and turns to try and erase her character and relationships, the whole "shipping her with everyone under the sun except her husband" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So TRUE, hello what the fuck. Normally I'd be cool with all the multishipping and fucking around with canon for fun purposes, again it's fun, but isn't it just WEIRD how there seems to be barely anything about Gemma and Mark?? How limited the conversation is, how one-sided the fandom is? Sincerely, outside people's own preferences or ships, it feels bizarre to just omit one of the fundamental storylines of the show, which is "her death creates a black hole in Mark's life-clinical depression-lumon manipulates Mark into taking a severed job-oblivious encounters on the severed floor-realization that she's alive and being experimented on-revelation that a fully-fleshed-out conscious character has been suffering in unspeakable ways for 2 years-subsequent plan to rescue her-heartbreaking reunion" oh also I forgot the fact that they're still devoted to each other, so why isn't that considered a compelling enough narrative? Why are Mark and Gemma bastardized to the point of stupidity by the same people I wonder? I seriously feel like I'm hallucinating in this fandom.

hello anon! yes i do think it is strange the way people dismiss gemma and mark, i can understand if they're not your cup of tea (not really) but the way people talk about them and gemma in particular is really strange! like i'm not going to forget before 2x07 aired people were theorising/hoping that mark was abusive to gemma, that she faked her own death (there are still people who think that), that he was the one that crashed the car because he was drunk driving (don't you think he would be in jail if that were the case), the list goes on. and now they're claiming markgemma would get divorced, or that mark was going to sign divorce papers the night she died, like what are you even saying?

the way i can't even gemma/markgemma post in peace without the random hate ask in my inbox... like it's just #weird that people are that offended by me talking about a character/ship they claim is insignificant to their show. and it's just weird in general that they would react that negatively to any love for gemma/markgemma. honestly i've spent months giving people the benefit of the doubt but recently my third eye opened and i realised it's actually insane the way people act about them so i will not be doing that anymore.

it's funny that people will do ANYTHING to discredit gemma's weight in the narrative (i.e. no screen time, no personality, all her storylines tied to mark etc), especially when a huge chunk of the fandom takes characters with significantly lesser screen time than her and give them headcanons to justify liking them. so idk why we are acting like screen time is the defining factor to liking a character, sometimes we are just drawn to certain characters and is that not enough (*insert my post about the racism in the fandom*)? and for what it's worth, i personally love gemma's storylineS and i think she's pretty nuanced from what we've seen. a lot of her scenes aren't really in your face and you can really come up with different interpretations of her actions (i thought we liked doing that?) especially her testing floor timeline. it's like people's brains shut off the minute she's on screen because she's a 'threat' to their pairing which i mean, far be it for me to police how people watch shows but that's such a reductive way to consume media.

i think a lot of people thought the whole markgemma storyline was 'gemma was mark's past that he needs to move on from' and were upset when they realised that this was not the story the show was trying to tell. the fact that they made gemma a Real character in 2x07 combined with the fact that markgemma got to reunite in the finale (and immediately embraced each other) shattered any theories that they didn't love each other anymore, and that gemma was not going to be another throwaway love interest. i personally never thought they'd ever ever reunite (or if they did maybe in season 53) so you could say that reunion scene was my super bowl. it's awful the way the fandom treats them but it's not going to stop me from posting 329030 times a day about them, idk. at some point you have to curate your own fandom experience which is what i'll be doing x

[smoking-pipeweed]

Hey! Love your writing and I see requests are open so I’ll shoot my shot. I’ve been thinking about this scenario for so long but Aragorn and reader went through the quest together and survived. So now he is king and so so busy that they don’t spend nearly as much time together. Reader thinks they’re drifting since he became king and she’s sad cause they’ve built a great bond and she’s in love with him. Diplomatic relations start back up with the Harad people. Their leader immediately takes interest in the reader and starts spoiling her with gifts and attention. Aragorn is literally crying screaming sliding down a wall because he’s in love with her too and feels like he can’t give her the time and attention being so busy. And he’s like of course she found someone else. Idiots in love basically. I have also always imagined her being from our world. Aragorn yearning for something he thinks he can’t have always gets me. I hope this makes sense so sorry if this is long. If you are comfortable writing it I would also love if she was plus sized💕

Of course I'll do this I love mutual pining~ There's a few little things I didn't include in this fic but it has the same idea

The Crown and the Keeper

Aragorn x f!reader angst

[ Lord of the Rings Masterlist ] Summary: With the War of the Ring won and Aragorn taking his rightful place as High King Elessar, his absence now creates a rift between you two. But how will his majesty act when your attention is caught by another royal suitor? Word count: 11.2k Song: 'In Memoriam' by The Oh Hellos

Content warning: pot smoking (pipeweed), drinking, drunk making out, angst, VERY heavy angst, ARAGORN IS PATHETIC AND OBSESSED WITH THE READER LMAO

*2 months before the coronation*

A soft nudge on your shoulder brought you out of your well-needed rest with a sudden start. Your eyes sprang open, and your hand instinctively went to the hilt of your sword, still tucked into your belt even as you slept.

Aragorn raised his palms in defence. "It's okay... it's just me Y/N." he reassures. "It's almost time for your turn to keep guard."

You groan from his words, throwing your head back onto the comfort of your thin bedroll in defiance. "Go get Legolas to do it. I've done extra night watch shifts the last few nights. For gods sake, that elf barely even needs sleep, much less than I do."

He smiled at you as he gently rubbed your arm. "Come. I’ll keep you company awhile.”

With a slight tug on your hand from him, you're up and walking beside him where he was perched earlier on a log about 20 meters away from the camp you, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli had made. The moon was shining against the rocky plains of Rohan, and the night was quiet, with only the occasional yowl of a fox or scattering of a rodent nearby.

You sat next to Aragorn on the log, and he thoughtfully placed his cloak over your shoulders after a strong gust of wind made you shiver slightly. "Thank you," you mumble, and he nods while doing up the Elven brooch for you.

The ranger had never been one to be afraid to show affection; a gentle hand on the shoulder or a quiet word when it was needed, but it felt a bit different with you. Since having you join his travels in the fellowship, he had felt a soft, growing feeling within himself each time he interacted with you. The accidental brushing of your hands when you walked together made his chest tighten, and every time you said his name, it felt like poetry in his ears. Some nights, he just couldn't help himself and slept next to you with a small distance between you, just wishing so desperately that you'd reach out and pull him to you for warmth, and perhaps for more.

He knew what the feeling was. A most certain, heavy burden of love was blossoming within him, and some days he didn't know how to deal with it, let alone express it. He wondered if it was even appropriate for him to do. And even so, would you want it? Would you take him as he is? Split between the two worlds of Isildur's heir and Strider the Ranger, which one did you see when you looked at him, he wondered, or did you just simply see him?

But little did he know of your growing affection for the particular Dúnedain man. His gentleness, devotion and tenderness were something that had charmed you from the first day you had met him in Rivendell at the council of Elrond. It was during your time with the fellowship that you had come to know him better as the kingly, humble and beautiful man that he is. How could you not have held some sort of weakness towards him?

But even so, with the closer you two grew, the further apart you felt from him. How far must this go before one of you confesses? As time dragged on, both of you felt as if nothing would ever be said. And this possibility hung above both of you like a sad, dark cloud.

But for now, you couldn't address it. You both had a job to do, a mission to complete, some hobbits to save and people to protect.

"You know... I'm sure Merry and Pippin will be just fine," you stated confidently, flicking Aragorn a glance. He looked at you with a raised eyebrow. "How can you be so sure?"

"They have the infamous Strider tracking them down. I doubt they have any fears in their hearts when they know they have you coming to save them." You said. "They always told me how safe they felt having you around, especially during your time when walking to Rivendell. They hold you in very high regard, Aragorn."

Aragorn let out a gentle laugh. The noise made your heart skip a little beat.

"I'm glad they feel safe with me," he said while looking at the floor out of bashfulness. “I only hope the rest of you feel the same.”

You thought for a second before speaking. "I certainly do," you start a bit hesitantly, "You're a good man, Aragorn, and I feel very lucky to be able to be so close to you."

A short, tense silence was brought over you two before Aragorn looked at you with a grin. “Dangerous words, coming from you. I might believe them,” he said playfully while pushing his head onto your shoulder in a moment of boldness. You lay your head on top of his, trying to subtly breathe in the scent of his hair as it tickles your cheek in the wind.

"Forgive me if I fall asleep here," you said through a yawn. "This night is pulling me towards slumber."

"If so, you can lie on my lap. I’d gather it’s softer than that, sorry excuse for a bedroll.”

You nodded at his words, trying to act nonchalant when really your heart was screaming a little.

You both sat there on watch, feeling the cold air of the night tickle your skin to no effect, as the warmth of your bodies so close to each other was enough to keep you both buzzing with strong yearning for the other.

And still, nothing was said of it.

*Minas Tirith, approximately 2 months later*

The coronation had been a success. The amazing day had been followed by weeks of celebrations, discussions and hopes for the future with Isildur's heir returning to rule over Gondor and reforge the land of Arnor.

Aragorn was conflicted no more, and with the War of the Ring against Sauron having been won, the lands could look towards a new dawn of a king who fought bravely for the lives of his people whilst remaining the humble, loving man that everyone so adored.

You, of course, having been by his side ever since the council of Elrond in Rivendell, were ecstatic for him. You'd never doubted for a second that he'd make a great leader, as much as he showed it whilst leading the fellowship and the defence of Helm's Deep. A natural-born leader with the blood of kings, you thought of him.

Due to having travelled far and wide with you, and also due to his still lingering affection for you that he still doesn't dare speak out on, Aragorn insisted that you stay in Minas Tirith and make a home of the White City. You agreed with this notion, expressing how happy you would be living under such royalty, especially one you knew so personally.

You were named Keeper of the King's Records and were in charge of ensuring that lore and political happenings were reported, collected and written correctly. This left you spending most of your days in the archives and libraries in the Citadel, working tirelessly.

But with everything seeming perfect and peaceful, you often wondered if this meant anything for you and Aragorn now. Now, with his kingly title of King Elessar and many lands to oversee, you often found yourself questioning whether the rugged, heroic man you had come to know over the past few months was craving the small moments you two had shared together. But who's to know, with all that he has going on?

*Citadel, 7:00AM*

The city stirred quietly in the early hours. You rushed up the stairs of the Tower of Ecthelion with a few opened scrolls in your arms that you had received that morning from the leader of the Harad people to the south of Gondor. With their interests in conducting peaceful diplomatic relations with the High King Elessar, you had been keeping record of their communications.

You were going to the Throne Room to warn Aragorn of their arrival within the next few days, as per the letter. The king of the Haradrim had sent his son, a young prince, along with some noblemen to discuss the possible future reunion of the lands and where their relations lie after the War of the Ring.

You approached the grand doors of the throne room and were about to push inside when one of the guards stopped you with a raised hand.

"Apologies, my lady, but his majesty is in the middle of an important meeting as of now. Would you be so kind as to wait a few moments before walking in?"

You frowned. You still weren't used to it, the whole 'his majesty, my lord, his highness' thing. But what really threw you off was the fact that you were being stopped at the door of the throne room.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh my lady! Yes! Please excuse him!" Another guard pipes up behind you with a stressed expression on his face. "Apologies on his behalf. He's only just begun being stationed in the Citadel. Please go right in. His highness is expecting you."

You smile and nod in a friendly manner. That was more like it.

Without any further discussion, you pushed the large white door open to enter the throne room, still juggling the scrolls in your arms.

Aragorn was perched on his throne whilst speaking to a familiar ginger-haired man, Faramir, who stood not far in front of him. The king glanced up at the sound of the throne doors loudly dragging along the floor as they opened.

When he saw you, his expression softened, and his shoulders relaxed. It was strange. Every time he laid eyes on you, even in the polished marbled walls of the Citadel, he was brought back to the long days and nights he spent with you in the wilderness of Middle-earth, making him feel like his old ranger self again. But of course, without the responsibilities he has now.

Faramir was dismissed, with their discussion having ended. The young Steward gave you a knowing look as he passed you, but you caught him saying something under his breath.

"He clearly has favourites."

You huff out a small laugh that only Faramir would notice, but inside, you felt a warmth crawl over your heart at the thought. Oh, how you wish you were Aragorn's favourite. But the king's lack of connection to you recently had begun making you believe very much the opposite.

With the heavy duties of kingship and many lands to rule over, Aragorn at times found it difficult to make time for the ones he treasured so deeply. You were a part of this, unfortunately, and the past few weeks, the only times you had seen each other face to face were at councils in which you were present to record the political discussions. Only it wasn't Aragorn you saw at these councils, it was King Elessar, who was someone that you haven't gotten to know so well as you haven't had the chance.

You enjoyed times like this, where you had an excuse to burst into the throne room. But little did you know, Aragorn didn't need an excuse from you to gladly accept a visit from you, as it allowed him to bask once again in his affection that filled his heart so achingly and desperately.

"Hello, my lady," he started with a welcoming grin on his face as he approached you.

You put your palm up towards him. "Don't even start with the formalities, your majesty~. They make me feel too high and mighty for my liking."

"It does feel strange coming from you, love. But don't let anyone else hear you call me Aragorn, it might just start some gossip."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it." You accepted a strong embrace from him. He tucked his head onto your shoulder and held your waist against him. His royal garments carried the strong scent of warmed cotton and musk. Very different in contrast to the earthy, rich soil smell that still ever so slightly lingered in his dark curls.

"Even though I once witnessed his majesty get so drunk at a tavern that he threw up in an alley while I held his hair back."

You felt his chest vibrate has he laughed against you. "Oh how I've missed you."

You hummed at his words, leaving his embrace. You'd be lying if you didn't miss him too. His booming laughter, the glow of his deep voice, the gentleness he'd have even when sparring, and even the smell of his pipe when he'd smoke. It was memories of him that you held onto very fondly.

"So what can I do for an old friend?"

Friend.

"The King of Harad is sending his son to discuss possible peace treaties with you," you stated after being knocked out of your daze from his question. You passed him the few parchments in your hand, riddled with calligraphy. His hand brushed yours as he took them. "He is expected to arrive in the next few days."

He read over the papers with care as you waited. "His son? The prince of Harad?" he affirmed with interest.

You nod. "I believe so. He is bringing noblemen with him, perhaps around twenty or so."

"That doesn't give us much time to prepare," he half groaned out while rubbing his eyes. "I guess we can sort something out. I'll get a courier to send a letter out saying that we'll await his arrival, and I'll have the kitchen stewards prepare a banquet for when he gets here."

You nod approvingly. "I will be happy to help in welcoming the guests at the state banquet for that night."

"Great!" he exclaimed. He gives you a friendly tap on the shoulder. "Then all is well. If we're lucky, we can have this done quickly, and they'll be on their way back to Harad in no time."

He returns the scrolls to your hands. "These can be archived, if you will."

You grab them slowly from him, your hands brushing once more, but neither of you pulling away.

An all too familiar silence hung over you two, one that had made itself more known every time you two were alone. Aragorn searched for something to say while aching with the dread of having to part once again. If only he could say something to have you remain a little longer.

But he didn't.

"I have other matters to attend to this morning," he bluntly informed while turning from you.

You clutched the scrolls to your chest while looking down sheepishly. His gaze had made you flustered, and you gave out a relieved breath from being broken from that tension. "Yes... of course. I'll get these archived right away."

You turned to walk through the large doors of the throne room once again. In the back of your mind, you wished desperately for him to call out.

"Oh! Hey Y/N?"

You quickly turned just as your hand had lifted to push the door.

"I received a gift from Rohan. An old piece of lore that is written in a tongue that I haven't read in years. Perhaps tonight you can lend me your knowledge and eyes?"

You felt yourself hesitate at his request. It had been weeks since you'd been alone with him, not in the context of reporting necessities. What if it was awkward?

"I will make sure there's wine too, if that's of interest," he offered a faint smile.

You nod. Well, at least a few glasses of wine would ease the air a bit.

"I'll be there after the council tonight, in the west wing of the library."

"Of course, Ara- my Lord. I look forward to it." You gave him a knowing smile as you pushed open the large white door.

*The Council Room, 6:57PM*

Aragorn had finished his kingly duties for the day.

The Council Room hung quiet as he packed away the few parchments used for discussing strategy in how this diplomatic meeting would go with the noble people of Harad.

With a light skip in his heart, feeling like his old young self again with this excitement growing, he grabbed the bottle of vintage wine that he had placed to the side long before the council, having collected it from the royal cellars beforehand in preparation to meet you.

The thought of you waiting for him in the library made him slightly anxious. Will it be like before he was king? Before he was all high and mighty and saw himself as just a lonely Ranger of the North? Oh, how he missed the soothing comfort you brought to his hardy personality and robust but gentle soul. He only wished the spark between you two could last.

A rushed man bursting through the door ripped him from his thoughts as he stopped in his tracks.

"My Lord!" the man cried. "Riders have crossed into our lands in the east, from Mordor. They hold a flag that we do not recognise. Your Steward, Sir Faramir, advises you to come see for yourself, quickly."

Aragorn's face hardened. 'Perfect timing'. He sarcastically thought to himself.

"Tell Faramir I will be there at once," he responded while shifting the bottle of wine behind his back to conceal it.

The messenger nodded and bowed to him before rushing out the door through which he came.

He knew he didn't have time to come and confide with you about the situation, but everything in his heart so wished to. Of course something had to come between the two of you.

He placed down the wine bottle on a table towards the corner of the room before adjusting his sword attached to the belt. A familiar dread filled his heart as he walked away from the direction of the library to the Citadel stairs.

Damned kingly duties.

*West Wing of the Citadel Library, 10:49pm*

You stood suddenly from the small table. Your legs felt numb, and your eyes were beginning to droop.

"Who am I fucking kidding. Look at me, waiting here for a king that's never going to come," you huffed out to no one in particular. You hastily gathered all of the scrolls in front of you, all branded with the familiar crest of Rohan. You'd even gone to the effort to place them all out and begin to decipher the foreign language for him, just so you had some achievement to offer your friend when he eventually arrived.

But he never did. And as the minutes turned into hours and each of the candles around you spilled more wax onto the table, you'd had enough of waiting.

You packed up your things quickly and rushed out of the silent and huge library, feeling smaller than ever.

*Citadel, 11:59PM*

Aragorn rushed up the stairs towards the Citadel. The moon was bright and the streets were quiet. Most of Minas Tirith had retired, retreating to its desolate emptiness that it held so strongly at night.

But the king of this great city was not yet done. He slowed in his steps as he approached the door of the west wing entrance of the grand library. With a gentle push, he stepped inside.

"Y/N?"

He called out in a gentle voice, but to no answer. As he traversed the great shelves of books and records he was so familiar with, he finally came across the large study area that he had noticed you tended to favour.

The table was empty. Only the dim light of dying candles and a neatly stacked pile of the Rohan lore he had promised to join you to go over remained. But you had left.

He thought of himself as an idiot. Of course, you weren't going to wait around for him, at least not into the hours of the night that he was only just arriving at now. Was he stupid to still have had a little hope of you being here?

He licked his forefinger and thumb before extinguishing the candles on the table. As he did so, he caught a glimpse of your handwriting, which he so easily recognised from all the records you had handwritten for him. He saw your translation of the strange tongue that the lore was written in.

He felt guilt fill his chest. You'd even started without him and had gotten quite a way through by the looks of it. You must have been here for hours... just waiting... just for him.

"Forgive me, Y/N," he said with a tone full of regret to no one. "I've let you down again."

No wonder you'd be growing apart. He can't even spare one night for you, how could he ever expect something to grow again between the two of you with this schedule and duty?

There were times when he regretted the choice of chasing the throne of Gondor, times when he believed he had made the wrong decision and longed to return to the wilds, to the lowly tavern inns, to the carefree feeling of waking up and having no responsibility but the clothes on his back. But most of you, he longed to return to you.

With a melancholy sigh, the king turned and slumped out of the library.

*The Courtyard of the White Tree, a few days later*

You stood on the grand balcony of the library on the very upper floor that looked over the courtyard of the Citadel. With anticipation, you waited for the prince of Harad to make himself known, having just arrived as announced by the gate guards. They were climbing the many levels of Minas Tirith, leaving you anxiously waiting.

A glint of sun reflecting off of Aragorn's crown brought your attention to him as he emerged from the grand archway of the Tower of Ecthelion. He stood at the edge of the courtyard to ready himself for the arrival of the foreign prince.

You took in his appearance. He wore royal, leather slacks, a charcoal long robe embroidered with the white tree of Gondor in the centre of his torso and a green mantle that seemed to glisten in the sun. It draped across his broad shoulders and was clasped on by a silver, star-shaped brooch. The Crown of Elessar sat upon his midnight hair, and Andúril was sheathed in his sword belt, as always.

'He's far from Strider the Ranger now,' you thought to yourself as you examined him from afar. You frowned in thought as you leant on the carved stone railing, resting your chin on your hand. 'I wonder if he ever misses it when he's all prettied up like this.'

A quick glance from the king in your direction snapped you out of your thoughts. He held his strong gaze at you for what felt like forever, before he looked away.

It had been awkward the last few days, ever since he missed your planned meeting in the library. After that night, you had grown a little resentful, not liking to be messed around with. But in reality, you were embarrassed by your actions to wait so late for him, especially since he had done this a few times before with you, ever since he had gained his title as King Elessar.

You had avoided him, kind of accidentally and kind of on purpose. The demand for your services had increased threefold with the imminent arrival of the noblemen of Harad. You had been reviewing historical treaties and conflicts, summarising the basic culture of the peoples of Harad and producing briefing documents for his highness. By sending a messenger to Aragorn, he was able to receive these documents while you worked, but you weren't aware of the disappointment the king felt when yet another courier delivered his council briefings, and not you.

Aragorn was aware of his mistake. He had kept himself awake about it, wondering what could have been if he hadn't gotten ripped from his opportunity to see his old friend again. He had imagined the night over and over, discussing with you, laughs becoming louder and looser as the wine bottle emptied, and him shifting from King Elessar to Aragorn once again with you. He'd even thought, just maybe, it could have felt like before, with lingering touches that held much more meaning behind them that neither of you was aware of.

The entrance of the prince of Harad could not be missed.

He and his people emerged from the stairs of the Citadel, leading into the courtyard with the shining of golden deserts and shimmering jewels. Their robes flickered a dazzling array of deep reds, blinding golds, and emerald greens and a few bannermen carried impressive flags that bore a large, green serpent spread across a yellow sun with a crimson background. Drums tore through the ground as they approached the King and his people surrounding him.

The Prince himself, Qadiran al-Ruhan, as you had learned his name was, was an absolutely striking individual. He had a tall, heroic and muscular stature, and his dark olive skin shone in the sunlight. His well-combed obsidian hair hung just above his shoulders, which matched the stubble coating his lower face, and he wore the colours of his people in silk robes. But the sage green crown jewel that lay in the middle of his forehead on a golden band indicated his status among the noblemen around him.

Aragorn stepped forward as their march halted in front of him, and the drums were silenced. They gave each other a respectful bow and initiated conversation between them. You were too far away to hear what they were saying.

They seemed like an interesting bunch, much different from the quite bland culture that coated Minas Tirith. It was like the life of the party had just arrived.

But you'd have to admit, the prince had a face that could allow him to escape even the most devilish of deeds. His strong, masculine features caught your attention, and you thought to yourself, what a popular prince he must be back at home in Harad with that gorgeous face.

"Gentlemen," you heard Aragorn pipe up after his quiet, welcoming conversation with the young prince. "Make our guests feel at home. We will begin our state banquet at sundown."

You pushed off the rails of the library and wandered back inside, hoping to finish some work before the banquet.

You looked forward to getting to know the handsome prince and his noblemen. However, it still dawned on your mind that you now had to face King Elessar once again, and there was no escaping his lingering gaze now.

*The Great Hall of the King, 5:30PM*

The banquet was beginning to bustle with excitement. Noblemen of both Gondor and Harad had begun to mingle and intertwine. Colours of blacks and reds and goldens all mixed together into one pool, all hoping to once again build friendly relations. It was a sight to see, especially for you, due to your mastery of lore.

You had arrived wearing your best gown with a thin, expensive coat, wanting to give a good impression for the foreign guests of the Keeper of the King's Records. Your hair was tied back into a simple but neat style with slim, silver chains tucked into it, and your finest jewellery littered your wrists and neck. You were a sight enough to turn the head of any man or woman.

You were placed at one of the long tables in the great hall, which was filled to the nine with delicious food that was fit to feed many kings. The people around you were friendly, rowdy and included you in their conversations, asking many questions about your role in the Citadel. You happen to be a great conversation holder, because everyone loved to talk politics there, which you knew a lot about.

Only, you weren't so interested in talking about your job much when you had the sight of the great Prince Qadiran to adore your gaze. He sat at the King's table, with King Elessar and his guards surrounding them. Only Aragorn and Qadiran's highest men in the Citadel sat there among them.

You swore you had caught his eye a few times, making you turn your head in embarrassment and pretend to be focused on the people around you. At some point, you had turned back to see if he had looked away, only to find that he hadn't. His dark eyes watched you, curious and interested, and he cocked his head to the side in thought.

You glanced away once again, feeling small under the great prince's searing gaze. Was he watching you? Or had he noticed you staring?

'Of course he did, idiot,' you thought to yourself. 'You've been gaping like a fish at him all night.' It was true, though. He would have to be blind to not have noticed you gawking at him.

But while this silent exchange was occurring, a certain someone else was also watching.

Aragorn sat on his large chair, having barely touched the divine food in front of him due to the slight sickness he felt in his stomach. His red wine glass was completely empty as he had stressed-drunk, draining it quicker than he had intended. His servants behind him kept topping it up.

Not only was he not used to having these kinds of banquets yet, due to not having conducted many peace treaties or diplomatic meetings since he had become king, but he also had his most royal guest eyeing you up. The pressure was too much for his gentle soul, and he could feel himself starting to become a little overwhelmed with everything going on.

"So, your majesty,' Qadiran spoke up as he turned to him. Aragorn's stare snapped off of you and faced him. "I must say, I am very impressed with the city and community that you have built for yourself here. I praise you for your efforts. You are so new to royalty, being raised by those elvish folk and all, but you embrace it so naturally."

Aragorn chuckled at the prince's praises. "It is without doubt that I would not have been able to accomplish all that I have without the support of my people."

Qadiran gave him a strange look. "Hm. So humble," he almost muttered as he took a sip from his goblet. "So... who is she?"

Aragorn saw the prince motion his goblet towards you. "The young lady down there, with the silver chains tangled in her hair. What is she to you?"

The King swallowed thickly. What were you to him? How he could put that simply, he did not know. But he answered in the most appropriate response he could without sounding like a lovesick idiot.

"The Keeper of my Records, or my Royal Archivist, as you may call her."

"Ah~ I see," he sighed out. "She has quite a staring problem, I will say."

Aragorn glanced at the prince's face, but his expression seemed far from annoyed about your little interest in him. His tongue crawled against his bottom lip, and his fingers caressed his chalice as he watched you laughing with your table friends.

When Aragorn accepted his title as King Elessar, he did not think of this situation as one he would have to keep his composure. Watching a foreign prince, as handsome as Qadarin was, basically drool and undress you with his stare made him slightly sweaty in the hands.

"I apologise for her curiosity. She means no harm. She is a lore keeper and does it for a job for me, that is why she is staring. Watching two royals of different realms converse would mean a lot for her work." Aragorn did not mean for it to come out as dismissive, but the slight annoyance and flat tone in his voice gave away his discomfort.

He almost said it in a way to convince himself as well. He did not want to even think about you fawning over this prince. Especially when you had him to look at as an option, but chose the latter.

"Hm, is that so?" Qadiran mumbled out while seeming to barely listen to the King, as he was so focused on you and the way you smiled as you spoke, and the shining look in your eyes. "So she is quite intelligent, then? Do you know her very personally?" His eyes did not leave you.

Aragorn's jealous heart vibrated inside his chest. "Yes. She is my bookkeeper," he said, words dripping with sass. "I know her very personally."

The emphasis on the 'very' made him feel slightly guilty, as he thought the prince might get the wrong idea and maybe think that you two had an intimate relationship. But he thought to himself that that wouldn't be the worst thing.

But unfortunately, the young prince and his naivety did not catch the protectiveness that laced Aragorn's words. In fact, for the remaining banquet, he did not pay much mind towards the King beside him at all. He was plotting, planning and scheming. How and when would it be a good time to ask for your hand?

You had allowed yourself to step outside for a short moment. You exited the Great Hall of the King through a small side door so you could leave quietly without anyone being too curious about your escape.

It was proving to be an amazing night. All the noblemen of Harad were incredibly charming, with many having already attempted to sweep you off your feet. You were flattered by the attention, but did not entertain much of it, even with the four glasses of drink that sat in your stomach, which poisoned your body with a careless, warm embrace.

You took a seat on a stone bench that was laden with soft, embroidered pillows. With swiftness, you removed the small pipe that was tucked in the inner pockets of your coat, Longbottom Leaf having already been pressed into the funnel.

Even with your now elevated position, the smell of the pipeweed brought you back to your times with the Fellowship. Back then, when you'd all gather around the fire telling stories of each other's adventures in life, smoke cascaded through the air and filled your heart and lungs with a warm, relaxing feeling. You, more than often, shared Aragorn's pipe with him as he lay his head on your lap, pressed against your thigh. As the redness in both your eyes would grow, you would braid his hair and run your fingers along the stubble of his beard. Merry and Pippin, the devilish hobbit cousins, would tease you two endlessly.

"Excuse me, young lady?"

Your eyes snapped open from your nostalgic daydream at the sound of a strong, low voice. It was him. The prince of Harad, Qadiran al-Ruhan, himself.

"Oh-! My lord! Please forgive me!" You dropped your pipe out of shock, and it clinked on the stone tiles. You stood and bowed low towards him to show your respect, feeling quite embarrassed.

"Oh, please, my lady," he laughed at your shock. "I am not bothered at all."

The handsome young man leant down to pick up your pipe and you panicked slightly at his kindness. "Please, sire, I can grab that. Do not waste your brea-"

"Allow me."

He picks up your pipe and walks towards you to hand it back. You took it and noticed his hands slightly brush yours, much like the other day in the Throne Room with Aragorn.

"Thank you, my Lord," you breathed out and bowed your head in gratefulness. He laughed at your formalness.

"Oh, the formalities~. Please don't be so strained to treat me with such respect, you might pop a blood vessel."

You awkwardly smiled at his request, feeling taken aback. Why is the foreign prince acting so kind to you?

"Um..." you choked out as a silence grew between you. "I think I must re-"

"You're King Elessar's record keeper, are you not? He was telling me about you earlier."

The sudden question threw you off. Aragorn was talking about you? To a prince? Surely, there were more dire things to discuss than his quiet, unimportant bookkeeper.

"Is that so?" You asked with a raised eyebrow. You felt so small under his gaze, especially with a man as handsome as this. You had prayed to the Valar that he hadn't remembered you gawking at him earlier in the Great Hall.

"Yes, he talks highly of you, I must say. You must be an impressive archivist to earn the respect the great High King."

You let out a huffed laugh and dropped your gaze out of abashment. "I would not say so. His majesty speaks too kindly of me."

"I don't believe so. But I must also say, forgive me, you are a beautiful woman. No wonder he keeps you around."

Your eyes flicked to his out of shock of his words. Was he... flirting?

"If you would have me, my lady, would you mind if I spend time with you for a bit? I have many questions."

You didn't know what to say. You felt as if you'd completely sobered up from this shocking scene. The prince had just walked out to you smoking pipeweed, and then acting like an idiot when finally noticing him. But of course, how could anyone refuse a charming prince from a foreign land?

"Of course, my Lord. I'd be honoured to be blessed by your presence."

With his request accepted, the prince offered his hand, and you took it carefully.

You two walked the halls of the Citadel, and you gave him a tour of the grand rooms that occupy it. As the night shuffled along and the moon grew higher, the two of you grew closer. And soon enough, your nerves had subsided, and this prince was treating you more casually without all the formalities. You, however, kept them, not wanting to be disrespectful to a foreign prince here for diplomatic and peace treaty reasons.

You presented the Grand Citadel Library to him and your workspace, and he took great interest in your knowledge of Middle-Earth, primarily the land of Gondor lore. He listened carefully, patiently and asked many questions. He was amazed by your knowledge and intelligence. But something he just couldn't get out of you, no matter how hard he tried, was your relationship with the King Elessar himself.

You were very dismissive of any questions of your bond, not wanting to expose Aragorn of his past life as a Ranger. It was hard enough having to constantly refer to him as 'His Highness', or 'His Majesty', and not allowing an 'Aragorn' to slip when in the presence of the prince. Eventually, the prince seemed to wear off his curiosity, allowing you to take a breath.

The night came to an end when you both had wandered back towards the Great Hall of the King. With a gentle kiss on your hands from the prince, you said your goodbyes.

"Thank you, Y/N, for your time. I hope to see you once again before I depart for home."

"I'm sure you will, my Lord. It is my job to keep a note of all diplomatic events. We will be seeing a lot more of each other in the next few coming days."

Qadiran offered a smile. "Perfect. I look forward to it."

He lifted his hand slowly to your face, making you freeze slightly. He tucked a piece of loose hair behind your ear delicately, his fingers lingering on the skin of your soft face. After a second of him admiring you and you staring at him, not knowing how to react to his advances, he pulled away and walked off, making his way to his room, most likely.

When he was out of sight, you nearly doubled over. When did it suddenly become your job to entertain the most royal guest for the night? And a very pretty one at that.

You began to slowly wander back in the direction of your quarters.

Little did you know about the stress that your King was under.

Aragorn, having departed the feast a few moments prior, was searching endlessly for you. He had received any questioning looks, many 'Can I do something for you, my majesty?', all answered with a shake of his head as he continued walking.

He had noticed you disappear from the banquet hours ago, but what was worse was that Qadiran was gone too. He only thought of the worst, especially with the way that prince had been eyeing you up earlier; tongue flicking, eyes looking you up and down and mind wandering, god knows where. Aragorn didn't even want to think of it. You wouldn't possibly be interested in a young prince like him, would you? Even so, Aragorn barely knew you these days, much to his dislike, so you could let the prince court you, perhaps even into his bed for the night, and he would never have known. But the thought made him sick to his stomach.

Why did he care so much? You had never wanted him anyway, so would it be so impossible for you to accept the advances of a different suitor, especially one as charming and rich as Prince Qadiran?

He missed you. Oh, how this sad, sappy king missed you. Like a dog to its master, like a soldier to his home, like a moth to the last light of a dying lantern. He was something within him that craved everything that you offered; your mind, body and soul. How could he ever watch idly by as someone else had all of that?

He continued searching the halls for you, even as the moon reached its peak in the sky.

*Your chambers, 7:00AM*

A loud banging on the wooden door to your chambers woke you up with a start. "Yes?!" you angrily yelled, being annoyed to be ripped from your sleep-in.

"I hate to disturb you, my lady, but King Elessar requests your presence at some point today." You heard a voice ring out.

You let out a loud yawn, still waking up. "Did he give a reason? The diplomatic meeting is not scheduled until tomorrow at noon."

"I'm afraid not. He simply requested that you make your way to the Throne Room when you got the chance."

You nearly rolled your eyes. What did Aragorn need so desperately from his Archivist? Surely if it was about the meeting briefings for tomorrow, it could wait until the city was more awake.

"I will be right there," you tell the messenger. Silence followed, indicating he had left to return the message to the King.

*Throne Room, 7:30AM*

"It was nothing short of a beautiful feast last night, my Lord," Prince Qadiran expressed with gratitude as he stood before Aragorn. "I greatly appreciate the effort you have put in place for my arrival."

"It was my pleasure," Aragorn said in a flat tone from his throne.

Everything the prince was doing was putting him on edge. Why did he seem so happy this morning? Was it because of you? Did you two meet up last night?

"If it would interest you, I can have an escort give you a tour of the city today. Diplomatic meetings are not scheduled until tomorrow, so I am happy to organise some activities for you and your men today."

"No need for a tour, your majesty. I already received a grand tour last night from one of your beautiful maidens."

Aragorn frowned. "Maidens?"

Qadiran placed his palm on his face. "Ah! My mistake, she was not a mere maiden. Y/N... one of your bookkeepers, I believe."

Aragorn's heart dropped at the sound of your name pouring from his lips. You had spent the night with him, perhaps not in his bed, thank god, but taking him on a private little tour of your own around the Citadel, which would have been romantic in itself.

"She is not a bookkeeper." Aragorn began coldly. "She is the Keeper of the King's Records, the Royal Archivist. There is a difference. Do not downgrade her position in front of me."

Qadiran was stunned by the sudden harshness from the usually so humble, friendly king. "I do apologise, your grace." he bowed low.

Aragorn nodded at his apology in recognition.

"In fact, my Lord, if you will allow me, I was hoping to discuss your Keeper of King's Records."

Aragorn swallowed thickly. "Yes?"

"I understand this would be a great inconvenience to you and your people, but your Royal Archivist has immensely caught my eye," he began slowly, with a drip behind his words to slightly antagonise the way Aragorn spoke of you. The King felt his heart in his throat as he anticipated where this was going. "I spent a lovely time with her last night during the banquet, and I had hoped, with your permission, I could ask for her hand in marriage? And for her to travel back to Harad with me as my fiancée?"

Silence filled the chamber, making the air thick and hard to breathe. The King was unable to speak, not knowing at first how to react to this news, out of shock.

"I understand that this may have come as a shock to you, but I believe we really connected last night, and I would be honoured to have her as my wife, my princes-"

"Forgive me for my bluntness, your majesty, but you couldn't even remember the proper name of her role in my Citadel."

There was a strong tension building between the two royals. Aragorn held his hard gaze, one elbow resting on his throne's armrest to try and appear serious and yet unscathed by the prince's request.

"My lord-"

"I do not give you permission, I'm afraid. She is my Archivist, and I am very much in need of her services."

It was proven very difficult to hide the possessiveness behind his words whilst trying to remain calm and collected, but Qadiran was not stupid.

The prince gave a slight smirk.

"I see, my Lord. You had only had to mention your affections for her, then I would have realised my mistake earlier."

Aragorn was taken aback at being read like a book.

"Don't act so shocked, my majesty. I just find it interesting to have someone of such status be so dismissive of his feelings towards someone who works under him. You could have anything you want, including her, so why don't you take it? Before someone else does?"

"She is not something to take. She comes to me on her own accord."

"Which will be when?"

Heavy stares were shared between them as each of them waited for the other to speak. Aragorn felt like his whole world was getting turned upside down. Is it that obvious?

But in a way, the young prince was right. Aragorn had waited and waited and WAITED for you to come to him, which had never happened. Why did he still believe that there was something between you two? It was a pathetic, desperate and downright embarrassing behaviour that he just couldn't shake off. It seemed no matter what, he would always desire you in some way.

"She'll find someone else, Elessar. She will not wait around for a man who can't admit to his own feelings."

The large stone doors of the Throne Room suddenly shifted, making the two men turn to see who was disturbing them.

It was you. 'Oh, of course,' Aragorn thought to himself. His luck could not have been better if he'd tried.

You closed the door and turned, freezing in your path when you felt the tension in the room.

"Excuse me... my lords. Am I interrupting something?"

Qadiran gave out a charming laugh as he approached you with his arms outstretched. "No, my petal. We were just finishing up."

You awkwardly accepted his embrace, not really being used to being hugged by royals, other than Aragorn, of course.

"I was just telling your wonderful king about our adventures last night," he started as he removed himself from you, taking your face gently in his palms.

"I had the time of my life, my love. I just hope we can continue our endeavours to this day. You are, after all, an incredibly fascinating woman that I would love to spoil."

You blushed at his words, not knowing what to make out of them, plus the brushing of his thumbs against your cheek was not helping with the fluttering in your stomach.

Aragorn, watching this whole ordeal from his throne, was absolutely fuming. His hand had curled into a fist at the sight of the prince touching your face, something he hadn't done in months. He wasn't only just jealous, he was almost dripping out of his ears with pure envy.

He held his gaze on you two.

"What do you say? Want to meet in the courtyard later today? You can show me some of the other levels of your beautiful Minas Tirith, only if you'd have me."

Only if you'd have me. Those words drove Aragorn up the wall with the strong romantic connotations behind them.

You nodded shyly at the prince's request, and he smiled happily. "Amazing! Will see you at noon, my lady."

A quick kiss on the cheek made your eyes widen as he walked around you to the door. He left without another word and without saying goodbye or thank you to Aragorn.

You chuckled to yourself on the spot. "Hm, friendly prince," you say out loud, so dumbfounded by being courted by a gorgeous, Haradrim prince.

"Yes," Aragorn stood from his throne to release some of the tension he was feeling.

"So, Aragorn, you summoned me?"

The King took a moment to think. Why had he summoned you? He wasn't exactly thinking when he sent the messenger. He was so bothered by the idea that you had been given all the extra attention by this newcomer that he didn't even think of what he'd say to you when you arrived.

But still, anger still boiled in his blood, and he remained cold.

"I have these parchments that need deciphering," he eventually spat out as he collected some papers from the small table next to his throne. "They are in Sindarin, and I need you to translate them."

You frowned and took the parchments as he handed them to you. This was the urgent matter?

You shuffled through the papers, thinking maybe he had made some kind of mistake.

"My Lord... you can speak Sindarin."

Aragorn ran a palm over his face before grabbing the papers back from you. "Right. Sorry about that."

"...Aragorn. What's going on? You're acting weird."

He started to panic a little. His palms start to sweat, and his heart started to skip beats.

"I'm just tired, Y/N, that is all. I did not sleep well."

"Are you sure? I mean I'm happy to talk if you nee-"

"I said I'm fine! Give it a rest!"

You were taken aback by the snap of his words. Aragorn was too, not knowing where it came from. You felt yourself grow upset as his anger, wanting to escape the thick, breathless air of the throne room.

"Okay, sorry, Aragorn. I'll leave you be."

And with that, you left the room quickly, leaving the High King Elessar to bask in the silence with his own confusing feelings.

Aragorn watched from his balcony as you took the hand of Prince Qadiran softly. You laughed at something he said, and Aragorn's heart fluttered at the sound of it. The prince allowed you to guide him, beginning down the stairs of the Citadel, and eventually you two disappeared out of sight, starting your romantic afternoon together.

Aragorn felt like he was being eaten alive. The dread, the regret, the jealousy, the possessiveness, it was all coming to take him out one by one. He was literally the king; he's got everything he's ever wanted, but no, he wanted you.

He wanted you so damn bad it hurt. It ached and battered and mauled and aggrieved him how badly he hungered for you. He wanted you in his arms, on his lips, in his dreams, in his heart, in his bed. He lived and breathed with the desire for you, and there was nothing in this world that would ever shake it from him, and it drove him insane.

He was not going to let this happen. He was not going to let another royal suitor sweep you off your feet so suddenly, so effortlessly, when he had been trying too long to win your affections.

Tonight, he would tell you. And whether you accepted or denied his confession was completely up to you, but at least he would know if his desires were worth the ache in his chest that hurt and bled like a stab wound that never truly healed.

*The West Wing of the Great Library, 11:35PM*

The night crept away so delicately as you shuffled through your last few bits of paperwork for the evening. You had begun gathering the massive books that you had removed from the shelves to study once again, to place them back in their rightful places on the giant shelves.

After the afternoon with Prince Qadiran, the daring prince had asked for your hand in marriage. You had been so stunned by his question that you choked on the words in your throat when you went to answer, making the prince laugh and call you cute.

You'd have accepted. This seemed to be the best option. There was not much left for you in Minas Tirith anyway, with Aragorn being so busy with kingly duties and your close friends from the Fellowship now all having either returned home or left for other reasons. You were the only one to have stayed with King Elessar to serve him, and you can't help but feel a little bit of regret for your decision.

You feel upset, knowing you will leave him. And breaking the news to him will be hard, but you looked forward to your new life as a princess in Harad, and eventually, a Queen of the Haradrim.

A Queen. You could not even imagine yourself as such.

The sound of feet shuffling echoing throughout the library chamber made you stop your running thoughts and listen. It was incredibly late and the library shut hours ago, making you suspicious.

"Hello?" You called out, not hearing a response. "The library is closed for the night! How did you get in?"

You rounded a corner and were met with none other than King Elessar Telcontar himself. He wore a loose, comfortable robe, black with some dark pants and leather boots. He had no cloak and no emblem of Gondor's white tree anywhere on himself. His head did not adorn the crown, and he held something behind his back, it seemed.

For a split second, in your head, he was Strider again.

"Oh, sorry, my Lord. I did not realise it was you," you said, slightly shocked to see him. "Were you looking for something in particular? I was just about to leave for the night, but I'm happy to quickly help you find a book."

Aragorn's heart stung at the use of the formal title for him. "Um, no Y/N. But thank you. I... was actually just looking for you." He was awkward, not meeting your gaze and feeling heat wash over him in uneasiness.

You raised your eyebrows. "Me? Okay, what can I do for you, your majesty?"

"Y/N. Stop that."

You blinked. "Stop what?"

"My name is Aragorn."

"You're the king. I'll address you as such."

"I'm more than just the king to you and you know that."

That silenced you for playing dumb. You didn't mean to purposely make him mad, but it felt wrong to call him by his first name when things had taken such a turn over the past day. It now felt... too affectionate, as much as you hated to say it.

"What can I do for you?"

"I brought wine," he revealed what he was holding behind his back. A large bottle of red, unopened and new. "I grabbed it from the cellars just now."

"Aragorn, I'm tired-"

"Please, Y/N. Just stay for a bit longer, for me."

The silence was tense before you sighed and grabbed the bottle off of him. "Come on."

You walked over to your large main desk that still had papers stacked across it that you had not gotten the chance to put away yet. You pulled up a chair for yourself and offered Aragorn your larger, comfier one. He insisted he'd use the smaller one.

"I'll get that lore from Rohan," you stated blandly as you disappeared between the shelves, leaving Aragorn at the table.

He felt so tense. Was this a mistake? You clearly did not seem in the mood for him.

He examined your desk, pushing some things to the side so you had room to place the new lore when you got back. He looked over your work, but also noticed a page that a page was open on a particular book.

'Haradrim Marriage Customs'

His heart leapt to his throat. There's no way. Not only would that prince have gone against Aragorn's word and blessing, but you would've also said yes. Was this happening? Were you leaving him?

The questions flew around his head, hitting each other and causing a small headache. Maybe it was a mistake to come. You had clearly already moved on.

He shook his thoughts when he saw you round the corner and return.

"What's the holdup? Poor that wine won't you?"

Aragorn tried to act natural despite him freaking out on the inside. He grabbed two wooden mugs that sat on the table and opened the bottle to pour into them. He made sure to add a little extra in his.

You placed the lore that Rohan had gifted the king onto the table, shuffling through the pieces that you had already interpreted. Aragorn recognised them from the night he showed up late to find you gone, but your work remained.

"Okay! Should we go from the top and see what I figured out? Or do you want to just continue trying to translate together?"

He wanted to drag out this time with you as much as possible if he wanted to try and grow the courage to say anything, especially after suspecting that you'd been asked for your hand today. "Let's go over what you discovered first."

You nod, sit down in your chair and pull yourself close to the desk. You lift the parchment with your handwriting and give it to Aragorn. By leaning forward and using your finger to point to the paper and explain your work, Aragorn could feel your closeness to him. He felt the light warmth of your breath against his face, your knees brushing against his a few times, and his eyes caught the shining glow that your skin gave off in the subtle flickering candlelight. He felt dirty thinking it, but he wanted so bad to press his lips tight against your skin and taste it.

As the night moved on and the bottle emptied, just like Aragorn had imagined the night a few days ago would've gone, you both grew drunker. You both became barrels of laughter, trying to stay serious about the lore, but eventually it became forgotten, some parchments even hitting the floor without you guys noticing while you were deep in conversation.

You reminisced, talking about the days with the Fellowship, Aragorn's days as Strider and your life before being sent on the quest with him. You brought back funny moments and laughs you spent together, the lightheartedness and friendship you felt during that time.

All was going well, and you felt happy. You had Aragorn back, even if it was just for that night.

When Aragorn ran to another room of the library and brought back another bottle of wine, you cackled.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Mr King of Gondor?" you chuckled as he almost tripped over his own feet when running back to you. His face was flushed with a wine blush, and you felt warmth overcome your body with your drunkenness.

You watched as he stumbled back. His hair was loose and had it's natural curls. His robe was slightly unbuttoned, revealing a bit of his chest and his shoes were now off, him having removed them before.

He looked so... domestic. Not being clad up in shiny garments with a crown... it was comforting to you. You felt more at home with this kind of man.

"I'm sure we're fine~," he slurred his words as he held the bottle up proudly. "This one is good! I promise you~".

You giggled at him. "Okay, but not too much."

That didn't last long. When only a mouthful was left in the bottle, you two had crashed onto the lounge area in the corner of the room. It was a comfy reading nook that adorned pillows and blankets of all colours and embroideries, basically like a big bed.

You watched as Aragorn smoked his pipe while leaning against the wall with his back. You sat in front of him, cross-legged, and basically seeing double.

'Oh~ Two Striders? Doesn't sound too bad.' you thought to yourself drunkenly, making you chuckle out loud.

"Haha. Maybe then one can be king and one could be with me~." This time, you had said it out loud while rubbing your eyes.

Aragorn chuckled with his pipe still between his lips. "What are you on about?"

"I don't know."

He handed you his pipe, and you accepted, taking in a deep breath of it and feeling the immediate relaxation hit you.

"What happened today? With that prince?" Aragorn asked curiously. In a moment of boldness (or drunkenness, he could not tell), Aragorn crawled closer to you and turned around, placing himself so your chest was against his back and he looked up at you.

You almost couldn't answer him with those big, grey eyes staring up at you.

"He's asked me to marry him."

Aragorn felt time freeze. He continued to stare up at you as you took another hit from his pipe. You said it, like it was nothing.

He sat up and turned to face you. "He what?"

"I know, right!? Can you believe it?! It happened so fast," you exclaimed as smoke poured from your mouth.

Aragorn had such a stricken look on his face, like a kicked puppy. "What did you say?"

"I said yes. Harad seems like a beautiful place with a culture so rich, and the people so nice. I reckon I could be really happy there."

Oh.

Oh.

You said yes.

This is something you wanted. You have chosen this.

You had chosen to leave him. Not only to leave him as his Royal Archivist, but also as his friend, his companion.

His longing desire.

You'd had enough. And that was that.

"Aragorn?" you asked with concern.

You wanted to marry another man. You had moved on, found someone actually willing to give himself to you so easily, and to ask for you back. And you said yes.

"Aragorn? Love?"

He escaped his thoughts and looked at you. You were blurry.

"Aragorn, why are you crying?"

The king blinked and felt hot tears fall down his flushed cheeks. "Um," he choked out, quickly wiping his eyes with his robe sleeves. "Sorry, Y/N."

"Hey," you softly spoke out. You grabbed his face and forced him to look at you. His face felt so delicate in your hands, like he was trembling, desperate, hungry.

"What's going on? Is there something you should tell me?"

How could he? Oh, how ever could he? Does he just do it?

"I think I'm in love with you, Y/N," he blurted out.

Tears continued piling down his cheeks, only he saw your face through them, and saw some cascading down your soft skin as well.

"What?"

"I'm... in love with you. Holy fuck Y/N, I am so fucking in love with you."

"Aragorn, stop it. You're drunk."

"No! I'm not! I know what I'm saying! Please believe me." He had a grasp of your shoulders in his strong hands. You felt his grip tighten on you, like he was terrified you were going to run away.

"Please, for the love of the Valar Y/N, please believe me. I have been so in love with you for so long, and I desire every part of you with every inch of my being. It scares me how much I want you."

Aragorn pushed himself towards you, hands going to your waist and face forcing itself into your neck. He sobbed, and you felt the wetness of his tears coat your skin.

He smelled so strongly of wine, pipeweed and the overwhelming desire to hold you close so you'd never leave, like you were forged just for none but him to claim.

He was in love with you. Aragorn loved you. And he always had. This stupid idiot of a king had always loved you and never said anything. That dumb bastard.

You returned his tender and fragile embrace, nuzzling your face as close as you could into his ebony hair and your hands clasping desperately at his broad back. Your legs were a tangled mess on the carpeted floor.

"You're so stupid," you sobbed out. "You should've told me, you dumb idiot."

Aragorn laughed through tears into your neck.

You pulled back from his embrace, and so did he. He put a hand to your cheek to wipe away the wetness with his thumb.

Your face was flushed with tears. Your lips were red, swollen, and panting. Your eyes glistened and were bordered by wet eyelashes.

You had never looked more perfect in his eyes.

He leant forward, waiting for you to do the same.

And when you did, you crashed your lips onto each other's. A mix of tears, saliva and a hunger sharpened so strongly by restraint, dragging claws on the inside of your hearts.

Nothing in that moment mattered except for each other. You had gotten your Aragorn, the one you so desperately wanted all these years. And nothing could have made you happier in that moment.

You both remained in the library until the sun started peaking out from its grave behind the mountains. You didn't sleep at all. You became tangled in each other's limbs, sharing longing, desired kisses and running your hands along each other, like you had so desperately begged for between each other for so long.

Tomorrow would come, and some discussions would need to be had. He would return as King Elessar and you as the Royal Archivist, but between you, the silence would be comfortable and steeped in the echo of a long awaited confession.

AN: Was on like 4 white claws while ending the last bit plz forgive if any mistakes lmao Taglist: @cinnamon-girl-writes @mybrainsamess @pumpkin-soup333 let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list~

[yuseirra]

If Kamiki's inspired by this particular god, you can see how Fatal's lyrics are like, "I would sacrifice anything for you" because that's him, he gave up a lot to be with his wife(depending on how you interpret the myths, to the extent of it being his own life too)

Amenouzume has the title: "The Great Persuader". If she was there, he'd have definitely listened to her because that's the lore of those two gods, her husband relents only after she comes and speaks to him so it should have worked out

[lazylittledragon]

first session on this LORGE boy!!

if i had a nickel for every time i got a tattoo of a dnd podcast with 69 episodes that made me cry, i'd have 2 nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

[xanyiaz]

me and my boyfriend's predictions + manifestations for the fooliverse AU 😈 @anunmarkedface <3

who we predict will be in the lineup:

alpha asher

depressed/emo guy

dom lasko ?? 🤭

tsundere huxley x himbo damien PLEASE

elliott and blake swap lowkey- or just elliott swapping with anyone lol

who we want in the lineup (including who we predict):

yandere hush (swapping roles with blake) i will ACTUALLY. IDK WHAT ILL DO IF WE GET THIS BUT IK IT'LL BE SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE LET'S JUST SAY THAT 💀💀

sub gavin again PLEAASESJ

shy yandere porter

yandere treasure 👀 (shoutout @s0lairee for cooking that one up, will be thinking nonstop about it tbh)

confident yandere vincent

sub/masochist vega

listener as a yandere/sadboi!ivan swapping roles ??

you get the gist now just literally anyone yandere i'm CRAVING more yandere content tbh 💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️

who we want continued except they're even more unlikely but im still manifesting idc 🤞‼️:

cam

brachium

vega

geordi

blake eldritch being (swapping roles w hush)

thanks for coming to my ted talk, in conclusion- need more yandere content honestly where's azmidi pooks gone :((

[littleoddwriter]

I haven't really seen anyobody talk about this here-

Caracalla lost everybody close to him (father figure and twin brother) on the same day, both technically by his own doing, but doesn't even remember half of that anyway, and is now desperate to keep at least one person around, still. he might not even remember his own screaming voice demanding her crucifixion due to her betrayal. and if he does, he clearly wants to take it back and keep her alive and around him. in terms of human companions, she's all he has left. except for Macrinus, of course, but he's still new and another father figure, unable to fill that gaping hole Caracalla's real mother has presumably left and Lucilla is going to leave if she dies. but since Macrinus has the emperor wrapped around his little finger already, just a few words from him convinced Caracalla that this was, in fact, necessary and the only way; thus, sealing Lucilla's fate.

it's devastating to me...

[shitpostingkats]

Okay I'm back on grinding out money pins in NEO (as you do) and I'm sorry was anyone going to tell me that the overpowered Gatto Nero pins are each named after a season and the flavor text says they're engraved with the words "seasons greetings"

Implying they were released as seasonal promotions, And, someone in the UG, who had access to pins, would be able to collect them, and be able to tell what time of year it was, perhaps important because their grasp of the passage of time is shaky, wherever they are. And perhaps they could read the pin, and be protected, not just by the power of the psychs, but by knowing that, somewhere, somewhere in the real world, the person who made the pin is trying to say hello?

Or was I supposed to notice on my own and come up with this elaborate headcanon on my own?

[mustbedeadart]

Nyarlathotep in The Cellar Letters

I've lurked in the Cellar Letters discord for a bit and am so surprised and shocked that I haven't seen anyone make a connection that the entity behind the Cellar Letters could very well be Nyarlathotep.

First and foremost. Jamie has stated that the Cellar Letters is inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft

Due to the Cellar Letter's mention of Egypt, so many people have jumped the gun into thinking that the series is about Egyptian mythology despite having no other connection to it aside from Egypt, forgetting that Lovecraft has rooted some of his own mythos in Egypt, namely Nyarlathotep.

The Cellar Letters recalls a story of a class of students going on a trip to Egypt, there, the class finds a black, egg-shaped stone and sacrifice themselves.

This story is a parallel to the "Haunter of the Dark" which depicts taking a stone, called the Shining Trapezohedron, from the tomb of Nephren-Ka, to summon Nyarlathotep. Then, in order to gain knowledge from Nyarlathotep, he requires human sacrifices.

The Cellar Letters also holds some similarities with "The Dreams in the Witch-House" in which as man is living in an old house with a hidden room and he slowly goes mad as he has hallucinations and sleep walks. Throughout the story, he is being tricked and led by Nyarlathotep to sign his name in his book (like the book of the devil).

Most stories of Nyarlathotep portray his ability to make others crazy and lose awareness of themselves and the world around them until they fall into submission as a servant. The narrators of these short stories can be deemed as unreliable narrators, much like Nate can be. Nate lacks a lot of memory of events that occurred to him, he loses track of time, and the events that he experiences are different from how others hear it.

Jamie utilized The Complete Cthulhu Mythos Tales as research.

I also own this complete series and I think there are also influences from "The Thing on the Doorstep" in The Cellar Letters. First, I should mention that this story takes place in Maine like The Cellar Letters does.

Here is an excerpt from "The Thing on the Doorstep:"

"What he said was not to be believed, even in centuried and legend-haunted Arkham; but he threw out his dark lore with a sincerity and convincingness which made one fear for his sanity. He talked about terrible meetings in lonely places, of Cyclopean ruins in the heart of the Maine woods beneath which vast staircases lead down to abysses of nighted secrets, of complex angles that lead through invisible walls to other regions of time and space, and of hideous exchanges of personality that permitted explorations in remote and forbidden places, on other worlds, and in different space-time continua"

I don't think I need to emphasize the points of scary Maine woods and secrets at the bottom of staircases. While this story features references of Shub-niggarath and azathoth and not of Nyarlathotep, I still find it indicative of the Cellar Letters ties to Lovecraftian Mythos.

There is also another podcast featuring Nyarlathotep as the antagonist, and that is Malevolent by Harlan Guthrie. u/romychestnut posted on reddit asking if there was a connection between Malevolent and the Cellar Letters since Harlan joined the cast as a police officer named John (which is also the name of a character in Malevolent.)

BOTH creators replied to this reddit post. u/TheCellarLetters responded with "TEEHEE" while Harlan (u/thelirivalley) responded with this:

In Malevolent, it's version of Nyarlathotep, "Kayne" explained how there are many variations of himself across dimensions. Even though Kayne claimed to have killed every other version of himself, it does not mean that a version of him could not have existed in The Cellar Letters before he had hunted them down. (And wouldn't it be funny to have John in the Cellar Letters be Nyarlathotep after Kayne asked what great old one would name himself John?)

The start of Episode 79 of the Cellar Letters really hit the nail on the coffin for me. At the end of the previous episode, Nate is reading a letter and when he comes across a name, he blacks out. At the start of Episode 79, he wakes up in the back of John's car and the second he wakes up, he utters "-Tep" as if finishing the word that first caused him to black out the episode before.

I am still currently trying to find the part this next part, but I *think* that in one episode Nate says the word "Mi Go," which is a direct reference to a bug-like Lovecraftian creature that worships Nyarlathotep. This part is still uncertain as I have yet to find the episode that I heard this and I don't have transcripts I can quickly scan through so this is unproven.

I will surely be adding more evidence to this thread, I've just been sitting on these thoughts for way too long now

[wanderingwriter87]

okay okay which one of y'all finally put garashir on julian's memory alpha page