#i've been bored
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Ngl I think some writers on here are like diseased people that are only attracted to superficial means of emotion and wouldn't be able to write anything of depth if they ever tried.
#rambles#'omg guys you know what is a great idea?'#'realizing you only love someone the moment your knife pierces their heart omg that's so deep ohhhh my gooooood'#'hashtag: writer; hashtag: writers of tumblr's#'1347 notes'#is that literally the best you can do?#like honestly?#istg some people try so hard to sound deep and create meaning but it just looks so performative#i don't like angst but like there are so many routes you can go to create an excellent piece#on a separate note though like.....#i've been bored#i know i haven't been around much and i've genuinely been busy but also....#i have nothing to talk about#i don't have anything to say about what everyone else is talking about#nothing is catching my eye to bring up#imo there are two types of people in conversation: starters and responders#i don't start conversations. i respond and support a conversation#but i can't respond if there's nothing i can add lol#i should try harder
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✨🌟star light, star bright🌠✨
#helmiarts#eyestrain#drawing boring 3/4 posed critters counts as self care i think#challenge level impossible: draw something without including space related elements#this was just a fun stressless thing to do while i was on a little two day sick leave#drew this and watched vampire diaries#i've seen the jenny nicholson video like 10 times so i decided to check the actual source material#absolute gold tho#season 1 has been at least#god i wish i watched this shit back when it first came out
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played DA2 for the first time and romanced the possessed bisexual poor little meow meow who's totally down for firebombing a walmart
#handers#dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age anders#marian hawke#dragon age hawke#I FINALLY played through the entire thing! after so many times starting and then getting bored lol#I have genuine trouble deciding if I like Origins or Inquisition best but 2 is definitely on the bottom for me lol 🥲#but I do like Anders :)#I want more of this miserable little man#also I'm never sure anymore whether I wanna post single pictures or sets of them. idk#all the other DA stuff I've been drawing lately has been Origins stuff. or memes. so this doesn't really fit? so#seems like it should be by itself?#idk idk idk idk idk#anyway I've been doing lots of loose sketchy stuff and experimenting with brushes and it's been nice :)#trying my best to just...... be softer on myself#my art#description in alt text
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A touch of fey
#critical role#critical role fanart#orym of the air ashari#cr 3#bells hells#critical doodles#sorry for all the portraits oops#i know they're kinda boring#but i've been doing a lot of full bodies for work so portraits are all i have energy to do atm lol
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saw this on my tl and oh op is so right
credits to @/melondenden on X
#I've been saying he's such an artist since I first read the book ??#like please give me an ounce of that creative streak my king I'm suffering here#and the way i call the cave of thousand gods his secret studio lmao#paradise manor was just him being bored and silly to the point he decided to do an interior designing project#and i want to take him with me to go jewellery shopping#and asking for styling and makeup tips#gosh WHY ISN'T HE A REAL PERSON ???#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#hua cheng#san lang#tian guan ci fu#mxtx
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Hey, Chuckles.
#solas dragon age#varric tethras#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#da4#da4 spoilers#dreadwolf#da:tv spoilers#solas#datv spoilers#i hope i've tagged spoilers ok#idk what tags people are using so im sorry if i missed one#idk#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#i wanted to post this back when the trailer came out but i got stuck then bored with it 😭#but it's been languishing as a wip long enough and i can't look at it anymore
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#i just wanted to gif the promo in better quality then I've been seeing#911 abc#also im bored and i need thursday now#haha#buddie#buck x eddie#eddie x buck#evan buckley#eddie diaz#ryan guzman#oliver stark#love
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professional courtesy? don't know her
#I've been listening to the first few eps again and i forgot how blatant he was about it#in the fifth episode he literally says#at least it got Martin out of the Institute for an afternoon#which is always a welcome relief#like bro this is a tape you're making for work people listen to these#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#genuinely just drawing the most generic man in the world#whatever series 1 jon was TRYING to look boring and normal idc#art tag
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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My little sister reminds me of Charmy so much I decided to redraw a moment we had from this weekend as Espio and Charmy :')
#sth#team chaotix#espio the chameleon#charmy bee#mydoodles#she was watching tv while I was (trying) to read my book lol#the tv was very distracting okay FDHGF#but literally she was full of beans just all weekend and I've been exhausted for about a month and a half lmfao#so I couldn't really engage with her as much as I usually am able to#but we did draw a bit together and she did end up cuddling into me so I can be glad in the fact that she wasn't mad at me for#for being all boring the whole time lol
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they're just hangin' out
#cxs is bored#and very good at being a distraction :)#i've been indulging in domestic stuff recently#sorry this is so weird and messy#haven't drawn people in a hot minute#link click#shiguang daili ren#lu guang#link click fanart#cheng xiaoshi#shiguang#sgdlr#artilite#artilite doodle#been trying out a new way of rendering#very fun!!
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RANFREN HEADCANONS:
Luther:
Was researching humans when he first decided he wanted to be one. Found out they're 60% water. Is now hellbent on making sure everyone is hydrated
Only formed a family because he thought it was what humans are supposed to do
Only reason he got Randal a pet human is because he was tired of Randal terrorising his catmen and wanted to teach him some responsibility
Has been around for so long that he's had at least one cult formed around him. The cult has long since disbanded, however
Used to be ALOT more evil in his 'youth'. Even more so than Randal. A truly horrifying entity. That was a long time ago, though. He's a nice young human man now
Sometimes Randal REALLY pisses him off. Like A LOT. But Luther reminds himself that this is just 'Randal's Rebellious Phase'. (Even though Randal's been in the same age range for years)
Randal:
I don't really have any for Randal. Let me think of some
Is incredibly good at biology, sucks at the other sciences
Otaku
Can't keep friends but somehow keeps making them
These were pretty weak. Sorry bout that. Anyways..
Nyen:
Doesn't feel a shred of embarrassment or shame about existing as a cat for Luther despite being a grown man (feels no shame about being pet, purring, making biscuits etc and thinks anyone that thinks he should feel that way is a weirdo)
Knows Luther usually likes his catmen's faces smooth but sometimes neglects shaving because he likes when Luther does it for him (drawn from a canon image)
Doesn't like smoking weed and sometimes judges Nyon for it but has no problem drinking beer and smoking tobacco
Thinks he's all that
Bullies Nyon but Nyon is literally one of his only friend besides Luther
His backstory is like the most simple thing ever with no trauma or anything. He was just a regular guy that got into a car crash or something and Luther revived him
His opinions about Kurt Cobain have always been the same even before he became a catman
Harasses Nyon whenever Nyon tries to do pushups or pullups or anything resembling arm workouts because he wants to be the only pet with beefy arms (he likes when Luther compliments his muscles (drawn from canon))
Inherited parts of Luther's violence
Nyon:
Epitome of nonchalance
Seems to have been around with Luther for a WHILE as well. (Guessing because he likes reading Fyodor novels for "nostalgic reasons" and Fyodor was around in the 1800s)
His life was better after he joined Luther's presence
Probably fought in at least one war
Remembers EVERYTHING from his past life but just doesn't talk about it. If you ask, he'll give you silence and go back to whatever he was doing. The conditions for hearing his backstory are so rare. You'd need to find him at 4:23am while he's greening out in a loaf position on the ground and even then there's only a 15% chance of him telling you. If he ever did tell you how he came to be what he is, it'd be the most bizarre, otherworldly and brilliant damn story you ever heard. Then you'd wake up the next day and, strangely, you wouldn't remember any of it anymore..? Like it was a snippet of a dream
He likes Nyen's abuse if he's in the mood for it (this is actually a little canon)
Has so many connections to so many different weed dealers it's actually ridiculous.
Inherited parts of Luther's timidity (yes, Luther is indeed shown to be a bit timid at times)
..bottom.
#i need to pay more attention to randal he's literally the main character#this was so fun to write I've been thinking about these for ages#boring tagging part#luther von ivory#randals friends#ranfren#nyen#nyen and nyon#nyon#luther ranfren#nyon catman#ranfren randal#nyen catman#randal ranfren#nyen ranfren#nyon ranfren
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another evening at Lucky 38 ~
#🎶 i guess you wonder where i've been 🎶#i was so busy with creating a compelling portfolio for my job hunting streak that i havent had the time to draw my BABIES#i am DELIGHTED to draw my baby again#sleepy boone my beloved oh how i love him#i wondered why i always draw boone without his precious beret and i guess vulture said to him once that he looks cool af without it and wel#now he takes it off every time they go out somewhere#(i love them sm)#this is vulture playing blackjack with veronica and raul BTW. boone dozed off at the very beginning of the game#the man is Bored but he's still supportive#oc: vulture#my art#digital art#fallout new vegas#sketch#fallout oc#courier six#craig boone#boone x courier#fnv
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Mutually Beneficial Arrangement
Part Two | Part Three
Pairing: Thorn x Senator!Reader / Thorn x fem!Reader
Words: 12,428 / 34,682
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! enemies to lovers kinda, forced proximity, bodyguard!Thorn, protective!Thorn, a little more than canon-typical violence, so much arguing and flirting and banter, smut in part 2 part 3
Summary: You're the most infuriating charge Commander Thorn has ever had the misfortune to babysit, and yet, you're also the one he finds himself falling for.
A/N: This was a request from @capricornrabies that got so out of hand I decided to make it its own thing and split it into two three parts. The original prompt was 52. “Just because you're pretty, it doesn't mean you can just get away with anything." / "You think I'm pretty?" from my 500 follower celebration. Featuring my Corrie OCs Burst and Knock! Apologies if Thorn is not necessarily in character, but he had so little screen time this is just build a boyfriend tbh.
Previous Work | Next Work | Masterlist
"Commander?"
Thorn freezes, his finger hovering over his datapad before it clenches into a fist.
He glances over at his comm on his desk and heaves a sigh. Well, it’s not his desk, really. Your staff had been kind enough to provide him a private office, tucked away in the fourth level of the estate, far away from the rest of the government officials. They had tried to decorate it for him, but he had waved away most of their attempts, allowing them to only get rid of the garish gold accents and take down the large tapestries that were plastered all over the walls.
But it does still have a lot of useless stuff in it. A lot of useless, fragile stuff. And as much as he’d like to be grateful for the offer of a quiet place to work, he was sure your motives were far from altruistic. He knew exactly what you were trying to accomplish by keeping him so far from you.
You were by far the most frustrating charge that Thorn has ever had the displeasure of babysitting, and he’d shadowed Senator Orn Free Taa on a pleasure cruise for two weeks, so that was saying something.
You were smart, manipulative, and you had the entire Senate eating out of your hand. The Jedi had no choice but to agree to your demands, and it seemed that every politician under the sun was at your beck and call. It was infuriating, watching you sit there with your perfect smile and your perfect manners, as if the world owed you something, as if you were the greatest thing to ever happen to Coruscant.
And maybe you were, because the last few years have been the most prosperous in recent memory for your planet. You had the support of nearly the entire Senate, and you were able to push through the majority of the legislation you proposed.
If it were not for the fact that you were also extremely stubborn, Thorn might have actually liked you.
But the two of you had locked horns almost immediately after you were introduced, and the past three months have been nothing but a test of wills. And even worse than your annoying personality and inability to stay out of trouble, was the fact that you were one of the few people who could make Thorn freeze up with nothing more than a simple question.
It was humiliating, really, how weak he was when it came to you. He was a Commander, for kriff's sake. One of the best the Guard had to offer. And yet there was precious little he had in defense against your charming smile and witty comments.
He had no idea how you managed to make him so flustered, and that was the worst part. He never had any idea how you were going to react or what you were thinking, and you had an uncanny ability to make him feel like a complete and utter idiot. He didn’t consider himself an impulsive person, but when he was around you, he found himself speaking before he thought things through, a habit he had been trying to break since he was a cadet.
There was just something about you that threw him off balance. It didn’t matter how many times he saw you or how many meetings he attended with you, the moment you walked into the room, it was like all of his training went out the window, and he was once again a shiny fresh off Kamino, ready to embarrass himself at the slightest provocation.
He should hate you, really. He had no idea why he didn’t. It wasn’t like you got along well, not in the slightest. You had a sharp tongue and you always seemed to be testing his patience, and he found it impossible to relax in your presence. You always made him feel... off. On edge. Like he was a second away from saying or doing something he was going to regret. It was exhausting, really, and Thorn had no idea why you affected him so much. He had no idea what was so different about you. What made you stand out.
What made him act like such a fool whenever he saw you.
Maybe it was because you were a challenge. Maybe it was just the fact that he had been forced to spend so much time with you. Maybe he was just curious.
Whatever the reason, Thorn was beginning to grow tired of it. You had an irritating habit of finding trouble wherever you went, and the past few months have been particularly chaotic, thanks to your efforts.
You were not an easy person to protect, especially since you seemed to have an uncanny ability to slip out of sight when the moment called for it. He was starting to think that you were using the Force, because you would just disappear and then suddenly reappear again somewhere completely different.
Thorn was used to guarding difficult people, but you were taking the cake.
The Jedi Council had insisted that you needed to be assigned a permanent detail, and had tasked him and the rest of the Guard with doing so. And yet, after months, there was not one single clone in the entire GAR that was able to keep an eye on you.
The first time you had given them the slip, Thorn had felt like punching a wall. The second, he was convinced it was an accident. But by the fifth time? It was clear that you were intentionally trying to shake him.
And now, as he stares at his comm, the name of one of the troopers he’d assigned to watch you flashing on the screen, he feels the urge to hit something return with a vengeance.
"Yes?" he answers, his voice tight, and there's a brief silence on the other end.
"We lost her," the trooper admits, sounding miserable. "She said she was going to the refresher and...I guess she wasn't really going to the refresher."
"I see," Thorn says, pinching the bridge of his nose, and he hears the trooper start to apologize.
"It's fine, we'll get her," Thorn interrupts, even though it's far from fine. This is the fourth time they've lost you since they arrived on your home planet, and it was as if your ability to make fools of them all had only strengthened the further they got from the Core. The only solace was that they were far from the watchful eyes of the Jedi Council and the office of the Chancellor, so no one except him knew just how badly they were fucking this up.
“We’ll just track her comm and..." he stops, and his hand falls away from his face. "You did get her to wear her comm, didn't you? Please tell me you got her to wear her comm."
There's another, even longer, pause, and then a small, sheepish, "Sir."
Thorn groans. "She's going to get herself killed."
"We'll find her, sir!" the trooper promises. "We'll scour the entire planet if we have to, she can't have gone too far."
Thorn doubts that, but he doesn't say anything, and instead he hangs up the comm and gets to his feet. He gives a forlorn look to his half-finished report before grabbing his helmet off of the desk and pulling it on, marching out of the office and into the main room where the other Guards are sitting around and playing sabaac.
"Did you get it done?" Burst asks eagerly, glancing over as he strides into the room.
"No, and you're not going to believe what I've just been told," Thorn says dryly, and the troopers all groan.
"What did she do this time?" Knock grumbles. He throws down his cards and crosses his arms over his chest.
"Apparently she went to the refresher and hasn't been seen since."
The group all give each other exasperated looks.
"You know," Burst drawls, "if you just gave us a few minutes alone with her, we'd be able to talk some sense into her."
Thorn stiffens, a rush of...something, some feeling washing over him. It's no secret that his men have become infatuated with you, and Thorn doesn't blame them. You are, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful women in the galaxy, and despite the fact that your personality is atrocious, you somehow manage to be charming.
That's the problem.
You're always charming, and he's the only one who ever sees your less favorable side. It's frustrating, and more than once he's had the urge to pull his men aside and ask them how they can stand it, how they can handle being in your presence without constantly wanting to strangle you.
It's bad enough that you make his blood boil, but having to deal with his own men mooning over you is too much.
"That's not how this works," Thorn snaps. "This is supposed to be an assignment, not an opportunity to flirt with our charge."
"So it's fine for you to flirt with her," Burst says, a teasing note in his voice, and the other clones around him snicker. "I see how it is."
"I don't have time for this," Thorn growls, his hands curling into fists. He can feel his face heating up, and he's glad for the protection of his helmet. "She's out there somewhere, unprotected, and you all are sitting here joking around. Now get up, all of you, we need to find her before she gets hurt. Or worse."
"Fine," Burst grumbles, getting to his feet, and the others follow suit. "Where do we start, sir?"
"Fan out, search the entire manor top to bottom. If she’s not here, we’ll start searching the streets."
"We can't possibly search the whole city," Knock protests, and Thorn gives him a long, hard look.
"We don't have a choice," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. "We're not letting her out of our sight again. Do you hear me? She's going to listen to us, one way or another."
"Yes, sir," the troopers say, nodding their heads, and Thorn lets out a frustrated huff.
"Now let's go."
It takes the rest of the afternoon and a large chunk of the night, but eventually, Thorn finds you. You're sitting in a diner, your hands wrapped around a mug of caf, and you don't even look sorry when Thorn stalks over, yanking off his helmet and slamming it down on the table in front of you. The motion makes the carafe rattle, but neither of you flinch.
"Senator," he says through clenched teeth, and you glance up at him, raising a brow.
"Commander," you reply with a tilt of your head. You gesture to the empty mug placed across from you. "Caf?"
He falters slightly, confused for just a moment before he realizes what you're doing. You knew he would find you here. Of course you did. And you're just as smug about it as he expected, your eyes alight with a mixture of amusement and annoyance, the two of you at an impasse.
Thorn grits his teeth, forcing himself to calm down. He knows he should be angry with you, and part of him is. The other part, the part that is not furious or exhausted, is relieved that you're safe. You've been gone for hours, and as the time ticked by, he could feel his anxiety building.
You were so stubborn, and you had no concept of self-preservation. If anything had happened to you, it would have been his fault.
He should have taken better care of you. He should have been more careful, should have been watching you closer.
He was not going to let it happen again.
"Yes," he says curtly, sinking down into the booth and removing his gloves, shoving them into the pouch on his belt. "Please."
You pour him a cup, and then you pick up yours, holding it out for a toast. He narrows his eyes, but reluctantly he raises his cup, letting the two of you knock them together.
"To peace and prosperity," you murmur, and Thorn snorts.
"For everyone except me, apparently," he grumbles. You grin at that, a slow, dangerous smile that makes his stomach flip
"Don't be so dramatic," you chide him, and his eyes narrow.
"Dramatic?" he repeats incredulously. "Dramatic? Do you have any idea how worried I was?"
"Worried about me?" you tease, and he feels his face flush.
"I—you are—this is serious!" he splutters. "I'm responsible for your safety, and I can't do my job properly if you're running off whenever you please."
"All I want is a little privacy, is that too much to ask?"
“With three assassination attempts in the last month alone, yes, it is," he says flatly. "You are supposed to have a detail. Do you understand me? A detail. That means that there are going to be guards with you. At all times. If you don’t like it, take it up with the Chancellor, I don't make the rules."
You let out a huff, leaning back against the cushions and crossing your arms over your chest. He's sure that you're not used to being talked to like this, and normally he wouldn't have said anything, but he's fed up. It's been three months of constant arguing, of trying to keep you safe. Three months, and he was still no closer to figuring you out.
"I'm not your enemy," he adds. "We are not here to inconvenience you. We are not here to make you uncomfortable. Our only purpose is to protect you and keep you safe. If you would just work with us—"
"I am!" you protest. "I'm working very hard, and I would appreciate it if you would stop treating me like I'm some kind of spoiled brat."
"If the shoe fits..."
You glare at him. "Look, I understand that this is frustrating, but I have a life, Commander. I'm not going to stop living just because the Jedi and the Chancellor don't think I can take care of myself."
"Well, maybe you can't," Thorn mutters.
"Excuse me?"
"Maybe you can't," he repeats, louder this time. "You're not invincible, you know."
"You don't know what I can or cannot do," you hiss. "How can you make any judgements on how I should act when you barely even know me?"
"Because I've had the misfortune of being forced to deal with you," he snaps. "And I've had the misfortune of seeing you make a target of yourself every single day. Just because you're pretty, it doesn't mean you can just get away with anything."
He doesn’t realize what he said until he sees the surprised look on your face, and the color immediately drains from his own. The two of you stare at each other for a moment, your cheeks starting to flush pink, and Thorn feels his stomach drop. He hadn't meant to say that. In fact, he hadn't even realized he was thinking it.
But it was true.
You were gorgeous, and Thorn was not blind. He had noticed the moment he met you, had seen the way the men in the room were drawn to you. You had the same effect on him, although he liked to think he was at least somewhat better at hiding it than most.
Or so he had thought.
"I..."
"You think I'm pretty?" you finally say, a smile starting to tug at your lips, and he feels the tips of his ears start to burn.
"I, er," he says eloquently, and he clears his throat, his jaw clenching. He had walked right into this, and now he was going to have to pay the price.
Your grin widens, becoming impossibly more smug. The white hot anger that had been boiling inside him moments before is quickly replaced with mortification, and Thorn feels the urge to hide under the table.
"Well, thank you for the compliment, Commander," you murmur, and then you stand, gathering up your cloak and picking up his helmet. "But if that's all you came here to say, we'd best be on our way. I have an important meeting tomorrow morning."
"Wait, what?"
You raise a brow, holding the helmet out, and he hesitantly takes it.
"You can escort me home, can't you?"
"I...of course," he says, trying not to sound too flustered. He had expected this to be a lot harder, and his brain was struggling to catch up. He stands, placing his helmet back on his head, and tries not to wince at the smug expression on your face.
"Good," you say. "I'll give you two weeks."
"Two weeks?" he repeats dumbly.
"Two weeks," you confirm, "and not a single other trooper. You and only you. That's the only way I'll agree to this."
Thorn gapes at you, and then he sighs, shoulders sagging. "Why?"
"Because I'm not interested in having a detail. If you can convince me that I can trust you, then maybe I'll consider changing my mind." You shrug, and you hold out your coat, looking at him expectantly. "Well?"
He stares at you for a moment, and then he rolls his eyes and holds the jacket up, allowing you to slide your arms into the sleeves. "You're infuriating."
"And pretty," you say, turning back around to face him. Thorn reaches out to adjust your collar, smoothing the fabric over your shoulders, and you give him a dazzling smile. "So, do we have a deal, Commander?"
He knows it's a terrible idea. He knows the entire Jedi Council would disagree with him. He knows the Chancellor would never approve. But he's so tired of arguing with you, and his men are already annoyed enough. Maybe it would be easier this way. If it was just him, maybe he could find a way to make this work.
"Alright," he sighs, giving a defeated shrug. "Two weeks. And no tricks."
"No tricks," you promise, and despite his better judgement, he believes you. "Come along, then."
"Senator," he says flatly, falling into step behind you, and you give him a cheeky grin.
"Commander." Your voice is sweet, but he can hear the mocking note hidden underneath, and he grits his teeth. "You really are very cute, you know. I'm glad you think I'm pretty."
His blush comes back full force, and he turns his head away, refusing to look at you. Burst catches his eye through the window, giving him a thumbs up, and Thorn wants nothing more than to run into the street and push him into traffic. He gives him a sign to get lost, and the trooper salutes him, turning around and leading the others away.
He can't believe this is his life now. He's supposed to be the Commander of the Coruscant Guard. One of the toughest men in the Republic. How is it that he keeps losing these fights with you? How is it that every time, he's the one who walks away feeling like a complete and utter idiot?
He has no idea how he's going to make it through the rest of the trip.
"Two weeks," he grumbles, a reminder more to himself than to you, and your soft laugh only serves to deepen his embarrassment. He holds the door open for you, and you give him a playful pat on the shoulder as you pass him.
"Don't worry, Commander, I'll be on my best behavior," you promise, and he can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not.
He lets out a long sigh, shaking his head as he follows you out into the street, the door slamming shut behind him.
"Good," he says gruffly. "Because I'll be watching."
You slip your hood over your head, giving him a smirk. "I'll make sure to put on a good show, then."
He has no idea what you mean by that, but it doesn't stop his imagination from running wild. He has a feeling he's not going to sleep well tonight.
"Come along, Commander," you say, and then you're gone, disappearing into the crowds, and Thorn hurries after you, trying his best to ignore the strange warmth blooming in his chest.
It's going to be a long, long two weeks.
Thorn had been prepared for a fight.
He had spent the entire morning mentally preparing himself for the inevitable battle, going over different scenarios and practicing what he would say. It was something he did often, something that had saved him and his men countless times before, and he had expected this conversation to go exactly the same.
He was wrong.
He steeled his shoulders and knocked on your door, waiting for your soft, "Enter," before walking in, his jaw set, ready for an argument.
But instead of the sharp retort he had expected, the door opens, and you're standing there, dressed in an elegant robe, your hair pulled back in an intricate updo. He freezes, caught off guard by how lovely you look, and you smile.
"Commander," you say, and his brow furrows. "Good morning. Would you care to join me?"
"What?"
"Breakfast," you clarify, holding the door open wider, and he swallows thickly. He hadn't expected you to be so... pleasant.
"Of course," he says after a pause, stepping into your rooms. The suite is larger than any room he's ever stayed in, and as he looks around, he can't help but feel out of place. The furniture is ornate, the walls covered with beautiful artwork, and even the floor is lined with thick, expensive rugs. The Governor of your planet clearly likes to live lavishly, and Thorn's sure the cost of one meal in this place could feed a battalion.
He tries not to dwell on that, and he turns his attention back to you. You've closed the door behind him, and you're busy adjusting the folds of your robe. He watches as you smooth the fabric over your hips, and then he looks away, clearing his throat.
"So, are we having breakfast here?" he asks. You nod, motioning to the table set up near the window.
"Yes, if that's alright. My schedule is rather busy, so I thought it would be best to eat here instead," you say, and he follows you over, quickening his pace to pull your chair out for you. You give him a soft smile, and he feels his heart skip a beat.
"Thank you," you murmur, sitting down and letting him push the chair in.
"Of course," he says, and then he sits down across from you, removing his helmet and placing it on the table. There's a plate of food already set out for him, and he eyes it, wondering if this is all some elaborate trap. A droid wheels up, depositing a pitcher of juice and a carafe of caf on the table, and he waits until it has rolled away before speaking.
"I wanted to talk to you," he says, and you glance up at him. "About this... arrangement."
"Of course," you reply, picking up a fork and scooping up a bite of fruit. "What would you like to discuss?"
He shifts slightly, not quite comfortable with the whole situation. He had not been expecting to get along with you so well, and he wasn't entirely sure what to do with this newfound friendliness.
"We both have jobs to do," he says slowly, "and I understand that they are sometimes conflicting, but we need to make this work."
"Agreed."
"We can't have any more incidents," he continues, and you raise a brow, the corners of your mouth turning up slightly.
"You mean where I disappear?"
"Yes."
"Well, then," you say, taking another bite, and Thorn's fingers tighten around the edge of the table.
"I don't want you leaving the compound without telling me first. I'll escort you anywhere you need to go."
"Commander—"
"And no more wandering off," he interrupts, ignoring the look you're giving him. "I don't care if you need some fresh air or you're bored or tired, you'll ask me or one of my men first, and we'll make arrangements."
"Is that it?" you ask dryly, and he purses his lips.
"No," he replies. "We will continue to check in regularly, and we'll have a meeting every morning to discuss your schedule."
"So, you'll be joining me for breakfast every day, then?"
"I... yes," he says, surprised by your agreement. You shrug, taking another bite, and he feels like there's a catch.
"Very well. Is there anything else?"
He can't help but stare at you, waiting for the punchline, but you're still eating, and Thorn can't detect even a hint of deception on your face. He lets out a relieved sigh, leaning back in his chair.
"Just don't make things difficult," he says, and then he reaches for his caf. "Please."
"I'll try my best, Commander," you reply, giving him a sly smile. That strange warmth returns, the tightening in his chest, and he has to swallow before replying.
"Right," he says. "Good."
"I have a question for you," you say, and he glances at you, raising a brow.
"Okay..."
"Do you always treat your charges this way?"
"No," he says quickly, and he flushes slightly. "I mean, I've never had a charge like you, Senator. Usually the ones I protect are much more cooperative."
"So it's just me, then?"
"It seems so."
You let out a soft chuckle, shaking your head. "Well, I'm honored. Truly."
He huffs, and then the two of you lapse into silence. Thorn finds himself studying you as you eat, his eyes lingering on the curve of your neck, the delicate lines of your throat, the way your fingers move over the handle of your mug.
He's seen plenty of beautiful women in his lifetime. Coruscant is full of them. But there's something about you that he can't quite put his finger on. You're so unlike the other senators, and despite the fact that you seem to go out of your way to make him miserable, he can't deny there's a certain charm to your demeanor.
He's still trying to figure out what's going on, but he can't quite wrap his head around it. You're not being particularly argumentative, and for once, the two of you are able to sit in a room together without fighting.
"I'm sure," he mutters, and you glance up at him, a glint in your eye. Thorn meets your gaze, and then he quickly looks away, his heart beating a little faster.
He's in trouble.
"Well, I'll be damned."
Thorn's shoulders slump, and he glances over at Burst, raising a brow.
"What?"
"She actually got you to do it."
Thorn scowls, turning back to his datapad. "Shut up."
"Oh, come on, I'm just saying," Burst laughs, plopping down onto the bench next to him. "I didn't think she'd be able to convince you."
"Yeah, well, she did," Thorn mutters. He's not entirely sure how it happened, but you did. And now, here he was, stuck with you for the foreseeable future. It wasn't terrible, not in the slightest. You were actually pretty good company, when you weren't making his life miserable. But it was still a lot to deal with, and he had no idea how he was going to manage it.
He has no idea what it is that makes him act this way around you.
"How'd she do it?"
"Does it matter?"
"Kind of, yeah."
Thorn sighs, his fingers clenching around his datapad, and he stares down at his boots. He doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to admit that he was swayed so easily, but he knows that Burst is never going to let it go until he tells him.
"I just agreed to it," he finally says, shrugging his shoulders. "It was either this or spend another few weeks arguing with her, and I just...didn't have the energy for it."
"I guess," Burst says doubtfully.
"Look, the sooner we get this trip over with, the sooner we can all go home," Thorn points out. "It's not ideal, but at least now we can keep a closer eye on her."
"So it's just the two of you now, huh?"
"Yep."
"Just the two of you."
"That's what I said, Burst."
"Alone."
"What is your point?"
"I'm just saying, sir," Burst says innocently. "If you wanted a little alone time with her, you could have just said so. We wouldn't have minded. Hell, we would have encouraged it."
"Yeah, well, I don't need any encouragement," Thorn growls, and then he stands, tossing his datapad onto the bench and heading off to find a quiet spot.
The truth was, he hadn't really thought about it. He hadn't thought about the implications of what this would mean. Being alone with you, day after day, until the two of you could return to Coruscant. And now, he wasn't sure what to do.
He couldn't exactly go back on his word, not when he had agreed to it. Not when you had given him the chance to prove himself. But it was difficult, knowing that his feelings towards you had been... complicated, ever since he had met you. Knowing that, if he wasn't careful, things could easily spiral out of control.
And now, the two of you were going to be spending an absurd amount of time together. Alone. With no one around to stop him from doing or saying something stupid.
He was in a lot of trouble.
The rest of the morning goes smoothly enough, and when lunch rolls around, he goes in search of you. You'd spent most of the day holed up in a conference room with a bunch of stuffy politicians, and by the time Thorn comes to collect you, the room is empty except for you. You're sitting at the table, staring out the window, and he's taken aback by how melancholy you look.
"Senator?"
You jump, glancing over at him, and the gloomy expression on your face is quickly replaced with a cheerful smile.
"Commander," you greet him, and he gives you a small nod.
"Time for lunch," he says, and you give him a wry grin.
"Is it, now?"
"You didn't have plans, did you?"
"Only to avoid you," you say sweetly, getting to your feet. You dress flows like water around you, the soft fabric brushing against your legs as you stand, and Thorn finds himself momentarily mesmerized.
He blinks, shaking his head, and gives you a scowl.
"Very funny."
"I thought so," you reply, walking past him and out into the hall. You don't bother looking back to see if he's following, and Thorn lets out a sigh before hurrying after you. He catches up with you easily enough, and the two of you walk in silence down to the dining room. You're not particularly chatty, and Thorn is starting to wonder if there's something bothering you.
You usually like to talk his ear off, and the fact that you're not makes him a little nervous.
He's about to ask if everything's alright when you speak up, your voice so quiet he almost doesn't hear it.
"Thank you," you murmur, glancing at him from the corner of your eye, and Thorn can't help the way his brows furrow in confusion.
"For what?"
"For agreeing to this," you reply, giving him a wry smile. "I know it's not ideal, but...it means a lot to me."
"Of course," he says, surprised. "It was the logical choice."
"Logical," you repeat. "Is that why you agreed to it, then?"
He hesitates, not sure how to answer.
"Yes," he says slowly. "I'm sure the Chancellor would prefer that I spend a couple of weeks with you rather than chasing after you every day. He wouldn't be very happy if he knew I lost you again."
You give a small huff, the sound more amused than annoyed. "And the fact that I'm so charming and beautiful has nothing to do with it?"
Thorn snorts, shaking his head.
"You are very charming, Senator," he agrees. "And you are a very beautiful woman. But if I have to spend another day chasing you down the street, I'm going to lose my mind."
"Good," you say with a wicked smile. He turns his head away, pretending to inspect the paintings lining the hallway, and tries not to flush. "Then let's get through these next few weeks quickly."
"Agreed," he says gruffly.
He holds the door open for you, letting you enter the dining room first, and the two of you find an empty table. There's an assortment of dishes laid out, and Thorn is pleased to see that they're not nearly as lavish as the previous meals. You'd been quite up in arms about the excess and waste of the food yesterday, and the Governor has clearly learned from his mistakes.
Thorn pulls out a chair for you, and you settle down in it, giving him a nod of thanks.
"I'm glad to see he listened," you comment, and Thorn looks over at the table, realizing what you're talking about.
"Yes, well," he says, clearing his throat. "I'm sure he doesn't want to risk upsetting you again."
"No, I suppose not," you agree, picking up a plate. When Thorn moves back around the table, he finds a seat has already been set for him, and he gives you a puzzled look.
"Did you tell someone to prepare this for me?"
"Don't sound so surprised," you reply, rolling your eyes. "It's the least I can do."
He frowns, but sits down nonetheless. As the two of you settle in, a few of the other guests glance your way, and Thorn doesn't miss the way they look at you. He bristles, feeling a surge of protectiveness rush through him, and he straightens in his chair, his hand resting on his blaster. You don't seem to notice the attention, and Thorn doesn't want to embarrass you by bringing it up, but he's determined to keep a close eye on everyone around you.
The others take the hint, quickly looking away, and Thorn's mouth twists in a smirk. Satisfied, he turns back to his plate, and he picks up a fork, spearing a piece of meat.
"So, what are your plans for the rest of the day, Commander?"
"Watching you, making sure you don't wander off, and avoiding my paperwork," he says dryly, and he gets a laugh out of you. He feels his cheeks heat, and he busies himself with his food, trying not to stare.
You're even more radiant when you laugh.
"I'd apologize, but I know it wouldn't do much good," you reply. "How is the paperwork going, anyway?"
"Awful."
"I'm sorry."
"I don't believe you," he says, giving you a wry smile, and you grin at him.
"You're right," you agree. "But it's the polite thing to say, isn't it?"
"You don't need to be polite," he says, shaking his head. "We're supposed to be working together, remember? If we're going to have a successful partnership, we need to be honest with each other."
"Well, if that’s the case, Commander," you begin with a mischievous gleam in your eyes. "How do you expect us to survive this week without killing each other?"
"I don't know," he says, unable to hide his grin. "But I suppose we'll just have to make it work."
"You make it sound so easy," you laugh.
"Nothing about you is easy, Senator," he replies, and the two of you continue the conversation, the banter between the two of you becoming more comfortable. The rest of the meal passes in a blur, and by the time Thorn realizes what's happening, he's having a good time.
The conversation is easy, and he doesn't feel as uncomfortable as he usually does. He doesn't feel like he has to constantly monitor his words, or worry about accidentally offending you. He's able to relax and enjoy himself, and he's surprised to find that he likes talking with you.
It's the best meal he's had in a long time, and when the two of you part ways, Thorn's stomach is full, and his heart feels strangely light.
You really were very charming, and he's not entirely sure how he feels about that.
By the time the third day rolls around, Thorn has fallen into a routine.
It's a comfortable routine, one that he didn't expect, but one that is welcomed all the same. His men are less than thrilled, especially since they’ve been given no respite, but they seem happy enough to know that he’s taking the lead on the mission.
You have meetings early in the mornings, which means that Thorn gets up early too. It's not his favorite thing, but it's worth it to spend time with you. The two of you eat together, and then Thorn escorts you to the office, where he stands guard outside your door while you meet with various representatives from other planets.
Then the two of you go back to your rooms, where you quickly eat lunch before leaving to stroll through the gardens.
The weather is temperate on your planet, and the gardens around the compound are beautiful. You seem to enjoy the flowers, and he listens as you point out each plant, the names and the species. Thorn finds himself paying more attention to your voice than the words coming out of your mouth, and he can't help but think that he could listen to you talk for hours.
You're not the arrogant, self-important politician that he'd thought you were, and he's beginning to realize just how much of your personality is an act. The woman you pretend to be is someone who demands attention, and she gets it. The real you is far more humble, and you seem happy to fade into the background when necessary.
Your people love you. They're constantly coming up to you, greeting you, asking after your health, and Thorn is amazed by how many you know by name. He had expected that you would treat them the way you treated him, but they seem happy to see you, and you seem equally delighted to see them.
There are also the gifts. Every few minutes someone will come up and offer something, and it's a constant battle to keep you from accepting. You're not supposed to take gifts, and even though most are small and seemingly harmless, Thorn is not willing to risk anything. So he gently turns down each gift, and each time, your eyes widen slightly and you give a slight shake of your head. The gesture is subtle, almost imperceptible, and Thorn finds it strangely endearing.
It's not the first time he's found something about you to be endearing. The list has grown rather long since you've been here, and it only seems to get longer with every passing day. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you brush the hair out of your face. It's all so... charming, and Thorn is starting to wonder if this is what the other troopers meant when they talked about you.
He'd always dismissed them as foolish, but now, as he watches you from his spot in the garden, he wonders if maybe he should have paid a little more attention. He knows that there's no chance of anything happening between the two of you, not unless he suddenly becomes a different person, but that doesn't stop him from looking.
"Commander."
He jerks, his attention snapping back to you, and you give him a knowing smile. "Are you feeling well? You seem a bit distracted."
"I'm fine," he says, his ears burning, and he shifts uncomfortably. "Is it time to head back?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," you say, and Thorn moves closer, holding out a hand. You slip yours into it, letting him help you up, and his skin tingles where you touch him. "I have a conference call with the Chancellor this evening, and I need to prepare."
Thorn frowns. He had forgotten about that. The Chancellor had contacted him the previous night and asked for an update on your safety, and Thorn had told him that everything was going well. He's not sure what prompted the call, but it's not unusual for him to do that, and he tries not to let it bother him.
Still, he can't help but worry. The Chancellor is a busy man, and the fact that he's taking time out of his schedule to speak with you makes him nervous. Maybe the Chancellor is starting to question the wisdom of assigning him to be your personal guard, or perhaps the Council has had a change of heart and is ready to replace him. Either way, he doesn't like it.
"You should wear the purple," he says suddenly, and you turn to look at him, surprise written across your face. "It suits you."
You blink, and then a small smile spreads across your lips, a sparkle in your eye. "Why, Commander," you tease, "that almost sounded like a compliment."
He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "Don't get ahead of yourself."
You let out a soft chuckle, and Thorn has to swallow hard. "Thank you," you murmur, reaching out to brush a stray petal off of his shoulder. He freezes, his breath catching in his throat, and he can't seem to look away. Your eyes are sparkling, and your fingers are trailing up his shoulder and across his chest, and suddenly the temperature seems to increase by several degrees.
He doesn't know what to say, or how to react, and it takes every ounce of self-control he has not to reach up and grab your wrist. He's not sure if he wants to stop you or hold you tighter, and the uncertainty scares him.
But just as quickly as it happened, it's over. You drop your hand and step away, turning to walk towards the house, and Thorn has to take a moment to compose himself.
"Are you coming, Commander?" you call over your shoulder, and he forces himself to take a deep breath.
"Yes, Senator," he says, and he falls into step behind you, his gaze sweeping over your form, a lump forming in his throat. You look beautiful today, dressed in a pale yellow gown that reminds him of the sun, and he can't help but think about what it would be like to wrap his arms around your waist, to kiss the back of your neck, to feel your skin beneath his fingers.
You look back at him, a mischievous glint in your eye, and his eyes widen.
How long has he felt this way?
He has no idea, and he's not sure he wants to know the answer. You're his charge, his job, and any feelings beyond that are inappropriate. If the Jedi Council ever found out, they would surely be disappointed in him.
He shouldn't want this.
But he does.
And he's starting to realize that the other troopers weren't exaggerating when they talked about how beautiful you were. In fact, Thorn thinks they didn't give you nearly enough credit.
The walk back to the compound is a quiet one, and when you arrive, you head straight to your room. He follows you inside, standing awkwardly in the doorway, and then you turn to look at him.
"Would you mind giving me a moment alone?" you ask.
He hesitates, glancing at the open door, and you roll your eyes.
"I promise not to disappear," you assure him, and he feels his cheeks burn.
"Of course," he says, stepping back into the hallway and shutting the door behind him. He waits a moment, listening for the sound of the lock, and then he walks over to the window, peering out. It's a beautiful view, the city spread out beneath him, the setting sun painting the sky orange and pink. The light catches on the glass buildings, and he can see the faint outlines of ships as they soar overhead.
It's peaceful here, and he can't help but relax a bit. He's used to the chaos of Coruscant, and this is a nice change of pace. The compound is large and well-fortified, and Thorn is confident that no one can get in without alerting the guards. It's a secure location, and it's easy to be lulled into a false sense of safety.
Which is why he's surprised when the door swings open, and a hand grabs him, dragging him inside and slamming him against the wall.
It's an ambush, and it happens so fast that Thorn barely has time to react. He's slammed back again, his helmet falling off, and a foot presses into his chest, pinning him to the wall. A fist comes out of nowhere, and Thorn barely manages to block it, grabbing the arm and twisting, using the assailant's momentum to slam them onto the floor.
The man grunts, and Thorn uses the opportunity to pin him, straddling his hips and trapping his arms, a knee on his chest. His heart is pounding, adrenaline coursing through his veins, and he can't help but smile. He hasn't been in a fight in months, and it's been far too long since he's had a good brawl.
He's not sure what he was expecting, but he's glad that whoever it is isn't going down without a fight. He's been tense for weeks, and the opportunity to release some of that pent-up energy is a blessing.
The man bucks under him, and Thorn tightens his grip, a laugh escaping his lips. "Come on," he taunts, "is that the best you can do?"
"Fuck off."
He's about to respond when he hears the door swing open again, and another figure rushes in, tackling him and knocking him off his opponent. They're much smaller, and he's able to toss them off easily, but not before they manage to get in a few solid hits. They land a punch on his jaw, and he sees stars, his head ringing.
The first man is back on him, tackling him and sending him sprawling, and the second figure lands a kick to his ribs. He groans, the wind knocked out of him, and his vision swims. There's a sharp pain in his side, and he gasps, struggling to breathe.
A moment later, he’s on his back, his arms pinned, and a vibroblade pressed to his throat. The man stares down at him, and Thorn can see the anger burning in his eyes. He's panting, his breath coming in short bursts, and Thorn swallows.
The man smiles. "Not so tough now, are you?"
Thorn grunts, struggling against the weight on top of him, but the blade digs deeper into his skin, and he can't move. He's pinned, and there's no way he can get free. He watches the second attacker stand, moving towards the bedroom, and he struggles harder, his eyes widening.
No.
The door opens, and he can hear you let out a gasp. Thorn's stomach drops, his heart clenching, and his fingers dig into the carpet. This can't be happening. If anything happens to you, if these men hurt you, he'll never forgive himself. He can't let that happen. He can't let you get hurt.
He can't lose you.
There’s the sound of a blaster going off in the other room, and Thorn feels ice run through his veins.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
He doesn't even think. He just reacts. The rage builds inside him, the fear and the adrenaline and the guilt all combining into one powerful emotion. He lets out a roar, bucking his hips and shoving the attacker off of him. The man tumbles to the ground, the knife flying out of his hand, and Thorn is on him in a second, his fists flying.
He hits the man again and again, until he can taste blood in his mouth, until his knuckles are raw, until a gentle hand touches his arm and stops him.
The world seems to come back into focus, and he can see the man lying beneath him, bloodied and bruised. He's breathing, but just barely, and Thorn's hand clenches into a fist. If you hadn't stopped him, the man would be dead.
He staggers to his feet, turning to face you. You're watching him, a blaster in your hand, and you give him a small smile. "Nice work, Commander."
Thorn can't speak, his breath coming out in ragged pants, and he shakes his head, the rage inside him threatening to consume him.
"Senator—"
You place a finger over his lips, shushing him.
"It's alright, Commander," you murmur, your expression gentle. "I'm okay."
He doesn't move, doesn't even breathe, and you reach up, placing your hands on either side of his face, stroking his cheeks.
"I'm okay," you repeat, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, leaning into your touch. "See? I'm safe. Thanks to you."
Thorn still can't bring himself to speak, and you give him a smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. He hesitates, his body tense, and then he relaxes, letting out a shaky breath and wrapping his arms around you, burying his face in your hair. You're safe. You're okay. You're here, in his arms, and he can feel his heart slowly beginning to calm.
You're okay.
He knows he shouldn't be doing this, but he can't bring himself to care. You're here, you're safe, and he needs to feel that you're alive, that you're real, and that you're here with him. His arms tighten around you, pulling you closer, and he feels your hands slide up his back, your fingers running through his hair, soothing him.
It's a long time before either of you speak, and when you do, it's Thorn who breaks the silence.
"What happened?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. You don't move, your fingers continuing to play with his hair, and he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.
"They must have been waiting for me," you explain softly, and he can feel your voice vibrating through his body. "That man is a guard. And she—“ you nod your head toward the bedroom “—was a maid. I have no idea how they got past security, but I'm not surprised."
Thorn feels his anger start to build again, and he holds you a little tighter. His hands are still shaking, and his heart is racing. He can't believe how close he came to losing you. "Did they hurt you?"
"No," you assure him. "They didn't get a chance to."
He pulls back slightly, meeting your gaze. "I'm sorry. I should have—"
You shake your head. "Commander, I'm fine."
"If I had been there..."
"You were there," you interrupt, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "You were there, and you did everything right. You protected me."
He's not sure he did, but the look on your face tells him that he has no choice but to believe you. Thorn nods, his shoulders relaxing slightly, and you give him another smile, your hands dropping to his chest. You're so close, your bodies pressed together, and Thorn finds himself unable to look away from you. You're beautiful, and he's not sure how he's ever going to stop wanting you.
"Senator," he says softly, and you tilt your head, raising a brow.
"Commander," you murmur, and his breath catches. Your voice is like silk, and it sends a shiver down his spine.
"You are a very difficult woman to protect."
You let out a soft laugh, and his gaze drops to your mouth, watching as your lips part, and your tongue darts out, wetting them. He wants to kiss you, wants to pull you close and press his mouth to yours. He wants, desperately, to forget all about the danger, the attack, the mission, and just be with you. He just wants you.
The two of you stare at each other, neither of you willing to break the spell, and Thorn's hands tighten on their own accord, pulling you closer. You're so close, your noses practically touching, and he can feel your breath ghosting over his lips.
“Commander!”
Thorn’s hands release you immediately, and you stumble back, turning around to face the window as Thorn spins on his heel and steps in front of you, shielding you with his body.
Burst stands in the doorway with Knock behind him, their blasters raised, and Thorn lets out a weary sigh.
Of course. Of course this would happen. He'd gotten so wrapped up in you that he'd forgotten to check his comm.
He's an idiot.
He should have known better.
Thorn raises a hand, signaling for the troopers to stand down, and they lower their weapons, their shoulders slumping.
"Sir," Burst says, looking between him and the battered body on the floor. "We heard shots fired.”
Thorn glances at you, and he can see the corner of your mouth twitching, the barest hint of a smile. You give him a tiny shrug, and he nods, his gaze shifting to the man on the floor.
"There was an attempt on the Senator's life. We handled it," he explains. The troopers tense, and their helmets dart to you, scanning your body.
"Are you hurt?" Knock asks.
"No," you reply, and Thorn can't help the swell of pride in his chest. You'd handled the situation like a true professional, and the fact that you were unharmed was a testament to your training. "I’m alright. Thank you, Knock.”
Knock nods, taking in the scene. "Good.”
“There’s another one in the bedroom," Thorn says, jerking his thumb over his shoulder, and Knock nods again, moving past them and into the other room.
Thorn waits until he's gone, and then he turns back to you. He gives you a soft smile, taking a step forward. "Senator, why don't you go and clean up? I'll deal with this."
You look at him for a moment, and then you return his smile, reaching up to cup his cheek. "Thank you, Commander."
He leans into your touch, his eyes closing. "Of course, Senator. It's my job."
"And you're very good at it," you murmur. Your hand lingers for a moment, and then it falls, and when Thorn opens his eyes, you're gone, disappearing into your dressing room and shutting the door behind you.
Thorn stares at the closed door for a moment before letting out a breath and scrubbing a hand over his face. He can hear Burst snickering behind him, and he turns around, giving him a hard glare.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing, sir," Burst replies, trying and failing to hide his amusement. "Nothing at all."
Thorn narrows his eyes. "Burst—"
"Commander, you can't deny that this is a bit amusing,” he says as he moves toward the unconscious man. He kicks him over onto his front, and Thorn has to suppress a wince at the damage he did. The man is covered in blood, his nose is broken, and there are several cuts on his face. His eyes are swollen shut, and his breathing is labored. He's lucky to be alive.
“I don’t find any of this amusing,” Thorn mutters, his expression dark. He's angry, and he's not entirely sure why. These men had tried to kill you, and he should be relieved that they had failed. But instead, all he can think about is how close he'd come to losing you, and how easy it would have been for him to get distracted. How close he'd come to not protecting you. How much worse this could have been.
He should have been more careful.
“If you say so,” Burst replies as he crouches down next to the man, a pair of cuffs in his hands. He whistles low under his breath, looking him over. "You did this?"
Thorn clears his throat, his cheeks heating, and he glares at the ground. "Yes."
"Wow, sir. Nice work.” Burst reaches down and pulls the man’s arms behind his back, and Thorn watches as he binds his wrists. The man doesn't move, his head lolling to the side. "I didn't know you had it in you."
"Shut up," Thorn growls.
"Just saying, I'm impressed. You must really like the Senator."
"Burst," he says warningly.
"Relax, Commander," Knock interrupts, appearing in the doorway, and Thorn feels a surge of relief. He’s carrying the woman over his shoulder, her body limp, and he dumps her on the ground next to the man. "We won't say anything."
"I don't know what you're talking about," he lies, but even he can tell that it sounds weak. Burst snorts, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, right."
"Look, this is none of your concern," Thorn snaps, his eyes darting to the door and then back to his troopers. He doesn't want you overhearing their conversation, and the last thing he needs is for this to get back to the Chancellor.
If the Chancellor knew how he felt, if he found out how Thorn had failed him, failed his mission, failed you... well, Thorn would probably lose his position. Or worse.
And it was all because he couldn't keep his feelings in check.
He was an idiot.
The Chancellor had put him on this mission for a reason, and he'd made a promise. A promise to protect you, to keep you safe. And what had he done? He'd let his feelings get in the way, and now he'd failed you.
He couldn't afford to do that again.
“Take them down to the holding cells. Quietly,” he orders, his voice low. “We can’t know for sure that there aren't others. Until we have confirmation, I don’t want the rest of the household knowing about this. Understood?"
"Yes, sir," they say in unison, and Thorn turns his back on them, moving towards the bedroom. It's quiet inside, the door hanging off its hinges, and Thorn surveys the damage, his lips pursed.
The room is a disaster, and he's not sure how long it's going to take to fix. He's definitely going to have to speak to the Governor about the security measures, and he makes a mental note to have a word with him first thing tomorrow. They’ll have to move you to another wing, and the compound will need to be swept for more would-be assassins. He's not going to take any chances.
But those are problems for tomorrow. Right now, he just needs a few minutes to calm down.
He walks over to the bed, sitting down on the edge and leaning forward, his head in his hands. His mind is racing, and his heart is pounding. He feels like he's falling apart, like his whole world is crashing down around him, and he can't catch his breath.
This is the first time he's felt like this in a long time, and it scares him. He'd thought he was beyond this. He'd thought he was above it, the feeling of helplessness, the fear and the panic. But as he sits there trying desperately to get his emotions under control, he realizes that he's not. He's not as strong as he thought. He's not invincible.
And it's all because of you.
He'd thought you were his charge, someone to protect. He'd never expected you to be more than that, to mean something to him. But as he sits here, thinking about how close he'd come to losing you, the terror that had gripped him when he'd thought you'd been shot, the rage he'd felt when he'd seen you in danger, he can't deny it any longer.
You mean something to him, and he doesn't know what he would do if anything happened to you.
Thorn shudders, and he closes his eyes. He can't let himself go down that road. You're safe, and that's what matters. The attack had been averted, and no one had been seriously hurt. Everything was fine. He has to keep reminding himself of that, or he'll drive himself crazy.
"Commander?"
He opens his mouth to respond, his head jerking up, but the words die in his throat when he sees you in the doorway. You're wearing the purple outfit he had suggested earlier, and your hair is styled elegantly atop your head. It's hard to describe the feeling that rises in his chest, a strange mix of relief and awe and longing, and it takes him a moment to compose himself.
When he finally speaks, his voice comes out as a hoarse whisper.
"Senator."
"Commander, are you alright?"
He stares at you, his mind struggling to formulate a response, and you move into the room, kneeling in front of him and placing a gentle hand on his kne
"Commander?"
"I'm fine," he says, clearing his throat and looking away. "Don't worry about me."
You frown as you reach up to brush a lock of hair out of his face. "You're bleeding."
He blinks, startled, and then his hand rises to his forehead, his fingers coming away red. He hadn't even realized he was injured. "Oh."
"Let me take care of that," you murmur, standing up and disappearing into the bathroom. He hears you rummaging around for a moment, and then you return, a small medical kit in your hand. You open it, pulling out a bacta patch and tearing open the packaging.
Thorn lets out a shaky breath, his shoulders sagging. He knows he should protest, that he should tell you that he's fine, that you should leave him alone, but he doesn't want to. He's exhausted, and you're being so gentle with him. He can't bring himself to refuse.
You lean forward, pressing the patch on the cut. He winces, and you make a soft sound.
"Sorry," you whisper, your voice barely audible. You give him a half-smile and tilt your head. "Does it hurt?"
He shakes his head, a small grin tugging at his lips. "Not at all."
"Liar."
"Maybe."
You shake your head and sigh, your eyes flicking down to his hands. The blood from his split knuckles has soaked through his gloves, and the red darkens the black leather. "Let me see."
"I'll get a medic."
You frown, and he holds up his hands. "Please, Senator. I'm fine. You're already late for your call."
"The Chancellor can wait," you argue, but Thorn shakes his head.
"You know he can't," he says, giving you a wry grin. "I'm a big boy. I can handle a few scrapes and bruises."
You don't look convinced, but you seem to know better than to argue with him. You stare at him for a moment longer, and then you nod. "Fine. But I'll check on you afterwards. No arguing."
"I wouldn't dream of it," he replies, and you give him a sharp look. He smiles, holding his hands up. "No, really, I wouldn't."
"Good," you say, your gaze lingering on his hands. "Will you escort me to the conference room?"
He nods. "Of course, Senator."
You stand up, offering him a hand, and he takes it and lets you pull him to his feet. You smile, and Thorn can't help but feel like his heart is going to burst out of his chest. He knows that he shouldn't, but he loves the way you smile at him.
You lead him out of the room, and the two of you head down the hallway. He folds your arm into his, his other hand resting on top of yours, and the two of you fall into a comfortable silence. He doesn't know what to say, and he's grateful that you don't seem inclined to talk either. There's nothing left to say.
As you make your way to the conference room, he thinks about the events of the past few hours. It had been a close call, and if you hadn't been so quick, or if Thorn hadn't been there...
He could have lost you. He could have lost this. The thought terrifies him, and he tightens his grip on your hand, unwilling to let go.
He doesn't want to think about what would happen if he did.
It's been three days since the attempt on your life, and the mood in the compound is tense.
No one speaks much, and the troopers are on high alert. You seem unbothered by the whole thing, much to his frustration. He's been watching you closely, waiting for a sign that something is wrong, but there's nothing. You're perfectly fine, and it makes him wonder how often you've been targeted. How many attacks have you endured, and how many has he not known about?
It bothers him more than he cares to admit.
He's been sleeping in the hall outside your new room, taking his shifts with the troopers who patrol the corridors at night. It's not a comfortable arrangement, and he's constantly worried that someone is going to attack him, but it's better than being caught off guard. He's not letting anything happen to you, and if that means sacrificing his own comfort, then so be it.
You, on the other hand, seem unfazed. You go about your day, holding meetings, making plans, and Thorn finds himself growing increasingly frustrated. You don't seem concerned, and while that should be a relief, it's not. You should be worried. You should be scared. But instead, you're acting as though nothing has changed, and it makes him furious.
"You need to take this seriously," he tells you after dinner. You're sitting in your room, reading a datapad, and you glance up at him, raising a brow.
"I am taking it seriously," you say, and Thorn huffs.
"You're not," he argues, and you roll your eyes.
"Are you questioning my judgment, Commander?"
He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yes."
You place the datapad on the table beside you and turn to face him. "And why is that?"
"Because," he says, his voice growing louder, "this is your life we're talking about. Don't you understand that? Someone tried to kill you."
"I'm aware."
"Then why aren't you acting like it?" he snaps.
You frown, folding your arms across your chest. "What exactly do you think I should be doing, Commander? Should I cry? Should I scream? Should I cower in fear? What would make you happy?"
"That's not what I mean, and you know it," he growls, pacing the length of the room. "You're acting as if nothing has happened. As if this isn't a big deal."
You shrug, picking up your datapad and returning your attention to it. "It's not."
"Not to you, maybe. But it is to me."
"I'm touched," you reply dryly, and he glares at you. You sigh and shake your head. "People try to kill me all the time, Commander. It's part of the job."
He freezes, his heart skipping a beat. "What?"
You shrug again, not looking up. "It's not a big deal."
Thorn's eyes widen, and he lets out a noise that's somewhere between a laugh and a cry of frustration. He doesn't know whether to be angry or horrified. You're completely unconcerned, and he doesn't know how to respond.
He's always known that your job is dangerous, but he'd never realized just how much danger you were actually in. He doesn't know if the Chancellor or the Council are aware of this, but he knows that he's going to have a word with them. He's not sure how much more of this he can take.
You raise a brow, giving him a small smile. "What?"
"You're unbelievable," he mutters, running a hand through his hair. He wants to punch a wall, or break something. Anything to release the pent-up energy. He feels like he's going to explode, and he's not sure how much longer he can contain his anger.
"Why, thank you, Commander," you say as you turn your attention back to your datapad, and he lets out a growl, pacing across the room. He can't believe this. He can't believe how cavalier you're being, how flippant, and it's infuriating.
He's never felt like this before, and he's not sure how to cope with the emotions bubbling up inside him. He's worried, and scared, and angry, and a million other things, and it's overwhelming. He doesn't know what to do.
"Commander, are you okay?"
Thorn stops pacing and looks over at you, his gaze meeting yours.
"Why are you so nonchalant about this?" he demands, his voice coming out harsher than he intended. "You could have died. Do you realize that? You could have died, and then where would I be?"
Your eyes widen, and for a moment, you look shocked. You stare at him, and Thorn can see the concern in your gaze as you set your datapad down again. "I don't know. Where would you be, Commander?"
Thorn stares at you, unable to speak. He can't bring himself to voice his true feelings. If he does, there's no going back. If he admits how much you mean to him, how much he cares about you, he's afraid of what will happen.
He's afraid that he'll lose control, and that he won't be able to stop himself from telling you everything. From revealing how he truly feels about you. And that would be a disaster.
"Useless," he mutters. "I'd be useless. I'm supposed to be protecting you, and if you had died, I would have been a failure. I couldn't have lived with myself. So, yes, I'm questioning your judgment, and no, I don't think you're taking this seriously."
You're quiet for a moment, and Thorn takes a step closer, his hands on his hips. He's not sure why he's doing this. He knows he's overreacting, and he can't stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. He needs you to understand, and he can't seem to keep his mouth shut.
"Commander," you murmur, "that's not—"
"If you'd died, it would have been my fault," he continues, ignoring you. "I would have failed you, and I would have failed the Chancellor, and I would have failed myself. And I'm not sorry. I'm angry. I'm pissed off. And I'm not going to apologize."
You sigh and lean back in your chair. "I didn't expect you to."
"Good."
"Look," you say, standing up and walking over to him. "I know you're worried, and I appreciate it. I really do. But I'm not some helpless damsel in distress, and I'm not going to stop living my life because someone wants me dead. If I did, I would never get anything done."
Thorn's jaw clenches, and he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "I just don't understand how you can be so calm about this. It's dangerous, and I don't like it."
"That's not your choice," you point out, and he scoffs. "I'm not going to hide, Commander."
"Senator—"
"Commander."
"I don't care," he snaps. "I don't care what you want. This is about keeping you safe, and if that means you're not happy, then so be it."
You roll your eyes, turning your back on him and walking over to the window. You stand there for a moment, staring out at the city below, and Thorn watches as your shoulders slump.
"I'm not some pet, Commander," you say, glancing at him. "I have a job to do, and I'm going to do it."
Thorn's eyes narrow, and he grits his teeth. "I'm not asking."
"I know," you say, looking back out the window. "But you can't stop me."
He opens his mouth, ready to argue, but you shake your head, cutting him off. "And I'm not going to fight with you about it. If you want to spend all your time worrying about me, that's your business. But don't expect me to do the same."
He scowls. "Senator—"
"Enough, Commander."
The words sting, and Thorn takes a step back, his face twisting in anger. "Fine," he growls, stalking towards the door. "If that's how you feel."
You turn, giving him a hard look. "It is."
He shakes his head and slams his hand against the door panel. The doors slide open, and he pauses, looking back at you.
"For the record, Senator, I do worry about you. A lot. And not just because it's my job. And I'll continue to worry, whether you like it or not."
Your face softens, and Thorn steps into the hallway, the doors closing behind him. He stands there for a moment, his hands clenched into fists, and then he lets out a frustrated groan, leaning against the wall.
He's an idiot. He's the biggest idiot in the entire galaxy.
He's never felt like this before, and he's not sure how to process his emotions. He's worried about you, and angry, and afraid, and he's so tired of arguing with you. But most of all, he's hurt. He thought that you understood, that you would listen to him. He thought that you would see that he's just trying to protect you. But you don't.
He doesn't know how else to convince you, and he doesn't know what else to do. He can't force you to change your mind, and he can't stop you from putting yourself in danger.
But he can try.
Thorn stalks down the hallway, his boots thudding on the floor, and he tries to clear his head. He needs to get his emotions under control. He's acting like a child, and he knows it. But he can't help himself. Why does he have to protect such an infuriating woman? Why does he have to want you so much? Why does he have to care about you so much?
He's been trying so hard not to let his feelings get the better of him, but he's failing. And it's only going to get worse. He can feel it. Every time he's around you, his emotions are in overdrive, and he's having a harder and harder time keeping them under control. He knows he should back off, but he can't. You're like a magnet, and he's drawn to you. He can't stay away. He doesn't want to.
And that scares him more than any assassin ever could.
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#commander thorn#commander thorn x reader#thorn x reader#coruscant guard#the clone wars#clone x reader#tcw thorn#tcw thorn x reader#roy writes#500 follower celebration#i feel silly posting this bc i'm still pretty sick but#i've been laying here all day bored out of my mind and i couldn't resist#part two tomorrow? monday?
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i don't normally make posts about things myself but i keep thinking about how the whole point of EW was that the strength you needed didn't come from a god, or a supreme being, or a primal or anything: it all comes from you
your love for this world and your friends and everything that you allow purpose and meaning- that is what gives you the strength to climb to your feet, even when you feel utterly alone at the end of the universe
In Shb we had Ardbert who gave us the strength to take that next step, but in EW we are alone (save for Zenos i guess but this ain't about him). That's why even though I agree that "it was the ancients" is becoming an extremely stale take, I still forgive MotR and the Twelve because it's hammering in EW's theme of being enough to handle what life throws at you without needing to rely on something much larger than yourself
EW's plot- and even the Omicron quests -point to the fact that dynamis alone does nothing. It has to be moved to action by feelings/emotions for it to work. As N-7000 says, "all [dynamis] requires is for us to ask "what if?""
Zodiark did not save the Ancients. Hydaelyn cannot save Her Children. The Twelve do not answer your cries. Primals are bound to the prayers of those that summon them.
The Warrior of Light is an imperfect being. More talented than most, but imperfect yet. EW does not make you a god. It shows that change can be wrought by anyone, at any time. You need not do it alone: there are others willing to come to your aid. But when you are alone, at the end of your rope, facing insurmountable odds: the strength you need can only come from within.
#ffxiv#i've been thinking a lot about this lately#bc i do agree that the ancients are starting to become boring#and this is from someone that loves the idea and enjoyed Elpis immensely#i really hope it's just EW tying up the last few loose ends though and they don't play a big part (if at all) in DT#that being said... i can see where the story is leaning in myths of the realm too?#like when you step back and look at it everything ties together around this central theme of ''don't appeal to a deus ex machina''#anyway that's just my opinion on it y'know
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Happy 10th year of me doing this dorky comic! Hope people don't mind the fact that I haven't really dabbled in Cap stuff for a few years, except for my weird yearly July 4th ritual. On AO3 here, and tumblr tag here. (2022 was about Dobbs, 2020 was about seeing the stars, 2019 was about building new systems, 2018 was about voting, 2017 was about immigration.)
@histrionic-dragon tagged me yesterday and posted a bunch of cool links of ways to help: https://histrionic-dragon.tumblr.com/post/721837010124488704/almost-captain-americas-birthday
Rail workers paid sick leave: https://www.ibew.org/media-center/Articles/23Daily/2306/230620_IBEWandPaid
Lots of posts out there on the 2023 Minnesota legislative session, but here's the OG tumblr roundup post.
California is trying to divest its two largest pension funds from fossil fuels, but apparently today they decided to table it until next year. :/ I guess more meetings are needed! (productive ones, not ones that could have been an email.)
#happy birthday steve#guess it was hubris to lay out the comic on Jun 28th#because at the time i was pretty happy about protecting voting rights and indian child welfare#and things mostly seemed like a wash#Sam's question at the beginning is basically me#honestly I don't know if I've managed to convince myself of Steve's perspective#but i *have* been in some pretty productive meetings lately#gotta improve systems one boring meeting at a time!#steve rogers#bucky barnes#sam wilson#mine#my comic#4th of july
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