#i'm very proud of myself for not having to look any of these up
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traumagenic-positivity · 1 day ago
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i'm not sure if this is the right place but i'm nervous to post this anywhere and wanted to share an experience and some growth i was proud of
as a young, unaware system, i changed my gender expression & identity & preferred name and pronouns rather frequently. frequently enough that one of my friends told me it was "like i had multiple personalities," a comment they both [didn't realise was rather inappropriate] and have since apologised for, and [didn't know was extremely accurate] to the point that i now find it rather comedic. but i really detested the idea of labelling myself as genderfluid the entire time.
when i identified as a girl i /was a girl./ i was not going to stop being a girl. i didn't feel that i had ever been a boy, and i didn't think i would be a boy in the future — i was a girl, plain and simple. the same was true for when i identified as a boy, or as nonbinary, and i honestly did not understand why it kept changing, considering this. i would identify as a girl and never have any concept of how i could have identified as anything else. i would 'come out' and 'go back into the closet' and have no clue why i had done one or the other. in retrospect, this is because i have DID — there is an alter who sees herself as a woman, and an alter who sees himself as a man, and an alter that sees themself as neither, and so on, and whichever alter is in front, their identity is clear to them. i detested the idea of identifying as genderfluid because my gender, as i received it, /wasn't/ fluid. the genders of my alters just varied from mine.
now that i'm diagnosed and have been in the process of treatment, i actually feel comfortable identifying as genderfluid, and have the flag hanging in my room. something i couldn't have really dreamed of as a teen. since i have names for my experiences, i'm comfortable both identifying with my own gender, as an alter, and also identifying as a whole /system/ as being genderfluid. it's the label that fits us best collectively, if you look at us as a singlet, or as one entity built up of many moving parts. it's nice to feel assured in that now. i'm proud of us.
i hope any systems struggling with collective or singular identity can reach a peace with it. it's not perfect and dysphoria is a complex thing for us, since we have many different desires, but we're so much more comfortable than we've been in the past. hopefully we can all make it somewhere serene, yeah? 🍂🦌
we've had a very similar experience!! our host could never quite put a gender on us, and we found genderfluid works as well!! for both a collective term, and a singular term for our host!!!
I'm glad you guys have become more comfortable <33
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i-write-hurt-not-comfort · 2 years ago
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hello i ranked all the DL character songs. yes devil’s spire needed it’s own category, i love it that much. the tier maker is here. 
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spaghett-onaplate · 6 months ago
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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l0ganberry · 8 months ago
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Here is some doodles I did of Bob Velseb.
Just to match my instant brainrot of him
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all without notes
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jabeur · 3 months ago
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ok i got a little emotional bc i have gotten so much better at putting on nail polish and it's 😭
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beesorcery · 8 months ago
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i redesigned this shirt and now you can put it on your body
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here it is, the final culmination of my fun cool graphic design project where i replace cities with 8balls!! If you want to follow along the process you can check out these posts: one, two, and three :D
if you are interested in wearing this as a shirt i made a teepublic! (edit for anyone who remembers this: the teepublic listing got dmca’d lol. however,) you can also download the files from google drive if you would like to print the design yourself
thanks for following along!! i have really had a lot of fun doing this (and just following 2our in general, the vibes were sweet) and i'm glad other people enjoyed it too :)
(better quality images under the cut <3)
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pvremichigan · 6 months ago
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Whoopsie time
#vent tw#cw vent#I'm stupid to have dropped out of college#now I don't know what I'm doing and I can't do the very passion I set out to do#Animation was my dream and I ruined it for a guy who groomed me and ended up physically abusing me.#I didn't realize trying to animate and failing because I don't understand it no matter what I look up about it would result in a breakdown#Not to mention I'm regressing in my art skill right now.#My art is ASS right now no matter how hard I try to improve it#references... Practice... Doodles... Warmups you name it#nothing is going right and I have the urge to quit art altogether#I'm not going to and I can't bring myself to ever do that but It's aching inside me#I want my art to be good according to me. not others. People can say it's great but if I don't like it... I'm not going to settle for it#I shouldn't have left#I loved college#I loved SELU#I loved my life back then#And now I'm here. And I'm not happy anymore.#Even with writing. I even took a long break from writing and I still can't do it right according to myself.#Now I have no muse or motivation for any of it#I feel empty. And I can't go to therapy because I can't afford the balance on my account.#I just feel like I failed.#I feel like I failed my parents and myself. They always tell me theyre so proud of me but I don't understand how they can be.#Not when I ended up in two severely abusive relationships... Dropped out of college twice... And now work in a factory full time.#Yeah i make decent money in a place I enjoy but it all just feels empty.#I could've been more#i could've done better#[[out of ammo]];; ooc
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transmechanicus · 2 years ago
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It is sunday night. I remain exhausted.
#my stuff#i tried everything this weekend and nothing is healing my Existential Ambivalence#like i know i cooked and i saw friends and i did my hobbies and normally i'd be proud of myself for all that but i just...don't care#i wanna call out sick or something tomorrow. I'm worried about my finances and i genuinely think im gonna have to move somewhere cheaper#like i was expecting my tax return to offset the slow bleed of money from my savings each month and that Is Not Happening#And its not like i have any way to Make More Money#bc im a grad student and we're contractually prevented from doing so#So that means i'll need to move when my lease is up this summer and i really don't fucking want to#i like where i live i just wish it wasn't so goddamn expensive on rent#even like $200 cheaper would be world changing for me#but no instead i gotta look at my bills after power and car insurance and food and be like oops guess i lost $100 this month#and god forbid i get coffee or eat out in the cheapest way possible bc somehow that adds up to like $100 the second i look away#im sick of being anxious about this!! im not eating enough as it is!!#i also don't wanna get a fucking roommate bc i don't want someone in a space i've come to consider my own#like sorry but im transgender do not fucking look at me stranger#so the only real solution is to move and that's such a fucking hassle and it doesn't solve the problem now and i just want this to get bettr#i wish all students a very $2000 raise forever#and all landlords a very Scrooge Moment that makes you cut my rent in half#ave omnissiah
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airenyah · 2 years ago
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so i just set bad buddy on mydramalist from 9.5 to 10 stars and with that bad buddy is now above theory of love
this is relevant because up until now theory of love was the only drama with a 10/10 rating on my completed-list. and i couldn't get myself to put bad buddy at 10/10 since due to the alphabetical order theory of love would have gotten pushed down to no. 2
but now i finally could
i think it's safe to say that i'm finally. truly. well over my very own personal irl-khai
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#it took me 2.5 years but here i am!!!!#during christmas break i saw my irl-khai at youth group for a bit#(he was about to leave just as i arrived)#there was a girl with him#i think it was his girlfriend (at least that's what i assumed idk i didn't talk to them)#anyway it didn't hurt!!!! it didn't make me feel like shit!!!! i was okay!!!!#so far i never wanted to see (or even hear about) his girlfriend and then i ran into them completely unprepared for this situation. and i#i was. completely fine????????#and look at me now. putting bbs above tol#growth indeed. growth indeed.#i don't wanna brag but. i'm fucking proud of myself#airenyah plappert#bbs#tol#no but tol will forever have a very special place in my heart as THE most cathartic things i've ever watched (up until now)#it was like looking into a mirror and it played a big part in how i reflected on my situation and how i dealt with it#i would watch tol over and over again whenever i needed a reminder not to get close to my irl-khai again after i took a step back#as a reminder to myself how unlike superior (fictional) khai my very own irl-khai did NOT go through character development#and i don't mean i ever needed him to realize any hidden romantic feelings for me#i'd be happy enough if he at least realized how he hurt me back then. how his behaviour caused me a lot of pain#i've tried to explain it to him on multiple occasions but he just. doesn't get it. and he's surely never reflected on anything i've said#anyway he's mostly out of my life now and it's better that way#we're back to where we were almost a decade ago: talking only when we happen to be at youth group on the same day#i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine and i am sooo so happy about this and now bbs is above tol on my watch list even can you believe
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where-does-the-heart-lie · 4 months ago
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ASL brothers HAIKYUU!! AU!!!!!
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Day one of Self Indulgent month for me! I love these three, i love haikyuu, i love killer whales!
(The Naval Academy is this au’s version of marines)
For those who dont know, in Haikyuu (and prob in real life too but in my experience its not as important as they make it in the anime) The "Ace" of the team is the person who primarily scores points via spiking. Theyre the Hard Hitter, basically.
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Design talk👇
Originally, i was gonna make their school mascot just "The Pirates" but i couldnt figure out a clever pun with the school name so i scrapped it in favor of an animal mascot. I figured I would have a wider range of puns that way.
I landed on Orcas as the mascot because I think they really embody a pirate way of life. Theyre strong, hang out in groups of a mix of found family and their actual family, hate the rich, and theyre fun loving! And also im a bit biased because theyre my favorite animal, but hey, i said its self indulgent month, didnt I?
Their school name is a play on the word for Killer Whale (Shachi シャチ) and the word for 'knowledge' (Chishiki 知識), i just smashed the two words together. I'm very proud of myself for coming up with that given i dont speak japanese at all.
Anyway, with their designs, I was taking inspiration from orcas to match the design themes of haikyuu. Ace's hair is bleached on the underside to look like the underside of an orca's body, I made ace and sabo's eyes look more whale-like, the clip in sabo's hair is meant to resemble to spots behind orca's eyes, and I tried to make luffy's hair look more like it's round and spiking down more than i usually do.
Ace is wearing a ''way of the ace" shirt in the first picture, Luffy is wearing a shirt that just says "VOLLEY BALL" because i think it would be funny if he wore a bunch of those Zero-context-poorly-translated-random-english-words shirts that theres a bunch of in Asia. Sabo dyes his hair like delinquents do, but it doesnt much look delinquent~y because of how soft it looks. He means to do it to make him look like a delinquent though. Sabo still has his scars in this au, but he uses his hair, arm braces, and leg braces to cover them up. LUFFY AND ACE HAVE FUNKY SOCKS BECAUSE NO ONE CAN TELL THEM (or me) THEY CANT. Sabo wears athletic socks though because he's a debbie downer. He defends himself saying “It’s practical” and Ace and luffy call him “practically a Debbie Downer.”
Luffy is very good at receiving from growing up with Sabo and Ace practicing setting and spiking with eachother and assigning Luffy as Ball Boy. So he got the libero position from that cuz sabo and ace put in a good word for him. Nepotism.
I didn't feel like coming up with designs for them, but Zoro and Bepo are also on their team (theyre in the fifth image sitting on the right of the line of students). Koala and nami are student managers, Robin is the teacher manager, and Franky is the coach. all other straw hats/luffy friends, rev army comrades, and whitebeard brethren are in the stands. Im trying to keep the ages consistent with how they are in canon.
I didnt do a very in depth research, but i couldnt find what Japanese schools have as mascot costumes. and given no one wears any costumes in haikyuu for their team, i can kind of assume they dont use them over there. But unfortunately for them, I'm American. And part of the backbone of our schooling system, is Vaguely Unsettling Mascot Costumes. My sister says my design for it looks like its from Club Penguin, and i find that delightful. [moment of silence for my billions of fallen Puffles, taken from me in The Shutdown] Anyway.
I thought I was clever coming up with the equivalent of the Marines in this au being a Naval Academy. And their mascot being Seals, famously the animal that gets the absolute Worst Of It from orcas. Get shit onnnnn
I believe thats about it, thanks for coming to my ted talk :)
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shoresalt · 1 year ago
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long post about school
i cant help but take academic advice and suggestions and marks so personally as if they reflect who i am morally and my personality. even the simplest mistake of formatting a citation incorrectly ((when citations weren't even necessary i just wanted to provide a source... ) makes me think i am unfixable. and then i see 80s on my report cards and freak out inside. but if anyone else told me they got that mark i would be happy for them. i dont view even lower marks as a representation of my friends? so why do i assume others are having those thoughts about me? is it because i dont know my teachers very personally? and they're more prone to making assumptions about me? (are they even, really??) i feel offended when i see that i'm not at the top of my class. because it makes me look lazy compared to past grades, even if my teachers and classmates didn't even know me then. i'm afraid they'll see me failing and be mad or rude or think i'm no good. grades never affect the way i perceive others. why isnt it the same when i flip it to myself???
i need to find a way to understand that that advice will result in me learning! it does! i have demonstrated this! i can learn from my mistakes!!! i already understand it, logically, but it still pains me anyways. maybe its the permanence of grades. the way they dont change even when i learn something correctly or fix a mistake.
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sadnymi · 9 months ago
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「 ✦ Silent treatment. ✦ 」 Mattheo riddle x reader
Summary: Giving Mattheo the silent treatment after an argument wasn't the best idea after all
Words: 5k
Warning: [smut , heavy smut , strong language NSFW]
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On days like these, I feel an overwhelming urge to rearrange Mattheo's face. Despite our discussions and my heartfelt pleas, he seems to have a remarkable talent for ignoring everything I say.
The memory of our conversation echoed in my mind: my desperate pleas for him to leave that wretched boy alone, the hollow promises he'd made to appease me.
And now, that very same boy was lying in the hospital. Quite a coincidence, isn't it?
The cold shoulder was the only response I could muster, a potent cocktail of disappointment and anger simmering just beneath.
"Look," he started, a cocky edge to his voice, "that jerk had it coming. You can't just let people walk all over you."
My blood ran cold. He wasn't remorseful, he was proud. My icy glare intensified.
"So you think injuring someone and getting them suspended is the answer?" I countered, my voice laced with controlled fury.
He shrugged, a nonchalant act that did little to hide the flicker of unease in his eyes. "He'll learn his lesson," he muttered, avoiding my gaze.
“ so , are you “ my voice tinged with disappointment as I turned away, leaving him behind. Maybe I wasn't that hungry after all
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
"Ah, I see you're in the mood for a silent treatment today," he remarked dryly as he leaned against the nearby wall, his tone laced with sarcasm. "Must be a new strategy in the art of communication, or perhaps it's just your way of keeping things exciting."
"Either way," he continued, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips, "I'm impressed by your dedication to the cause. Who needs words when we can communicate through meaningful silence, right?" His eyes sparkled with amusement as he waited for my response, clearly enjoying the playful banter.
"Meaningful silence?" I scoffed. "That's a new one, Mattheo. Very poetic."
He chuckled, the sound low and rich. "Hey, I'm just trying to keep up with your level of dramatics."
I crossed my arms, feigning offense. "My dramatics? You're the one who turns every situation into a Shakespearean tragedy."
He raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. "Is that so? Well, I suppose every play needs a leading lady."
I couldn't help but smile despite myself. "And what role do you think you play in this drama?"
He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "The charming rogue, of course. The one who keeps the plot interesting."
I shook my head. "You certainly do that, Mattheo. Whether I like it or not."
His grin was infectious. "I'll take that as a compliment. Now, are you ready to break the silence and actually talk to me?"
“actually I have something to do “ i said
As I turned to leave, Mattheo's taunting words followed me. "Ignite me, Lady Macbeth."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Don't flatter yourself," I retorted.
He grabbed my arm lightly as I tried to walk away. "Don't roll your eyes unless you want this conversation to continue somewhere else y/n "
"I have something important to do," I replied coolly, trying to free my arm from his grasp.
He persisted, asking, "Like what?"
"Visiting a patient in the hospital," I said, finally pulling away and smiling.
Mattheo chuckled. "You'll regret this little act, baby."
"I thought we were in a play," I quipped before turning and walking away.
Truth be told, I had no intention of visiting that snobby Gryffindor in the hospital. Mattheo's broken promise irked me, but I couldn't muster any sympathy for the boy who got what he deserved.
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As the days went by, Mattheo's attempts to regain my attention became more evident. He started showing up unexpectedly in places I frequented, always with a casual excuse or a playful remark.
But today , today was something else , he deliberately sat closer to a group of giggling Ravenclaw girls, laughing a little too loudly at their jokes and engaging in animated conversation.
I couldn't help but notice, my eyes flickering over to his table every now and then. It was frustrating how effortlessly he could draw attention, even when he wasn't trying. I busied myself with my own friends, trying to ignore the pang of jealousy that crept into my chest.
However, Mattheo wasn't done with his antics. As the meal progressed, he caught my eye from across the room and winked mischievously. It was a subtle gesture, but it made my heart race in a way I didn't want to admit.
Feeling a surge of annoyance mixed with curiosity, I excused myself from my friends and made my way over to his table. "What's with the show?" I asked, trying to sound unaffected.
Mattheo grinned, leaning back in his chair casually. "Just trying to keep things interesting," he replied with a shrug. "Besides, it's not every day I get to make you jealous."
I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. "You wish."
He chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Admit it, you were totally watching ."
“ well played riddle well played “ I walked away
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The days crawled by, each one painted in shades of frosty silence between Matteo and me. Rumors swirled around the school like rogue Bludgers. Had we finally called it quits? The question hung heavy in the air, fueled by Mattheo's brooding demeanor and my own steely resolve.
One particularly dreary afternoon, I found myself drowning my sorrows (or at least trying to ) in a big cup of apple juice in the library. Lost in a dusty tome about ancient magical creatures, I barely registered the approaching figure until a shadow fell across the page.
Looking up, I encountered a smug face I vaguely recognized – Zacharias Clifton, a Quidditch player from Ravenclaw notorious for his greasy hair and even greasier personality. "Mind if I join you, lovely?" he drawled, his voice dripping with a forced charm that made me cringe.
Before I could muster a response, he slid into the seat opposite me, invading my personal space with a confidence that reeked of entitlement. "So, I hear you're single these days," he continued, his eyes gleaming with a predatory glint.
I gritted my teeth, the urge to hex him into a toad growing stronger by the second. Just as I was about to unleash a verbal scathing of epic proportions, a familiar voice cut through the air.
"Actually, Clifton, she's very much taken."
Mattheo stood in the doorway, his usual swagger amplified tenfold. His gaze, however, wasn't directed at Zacharias, but at me. A flicker of something that looked suspiciously like possessiveness crossed his features before he turned his attention back to the unwelcome visitor.
"See your broomstick awaits," Mattheo said, his voice laced with a dangerous edge. "Don't let me keep you from your precious practice."
Zacharias, his face a comical shade of purple, sputtered something incoherent before gathering his dignity (or what little he possessed) and retreating with a disgruntled scowl.
The library door swung shut with a satisfying thud, leaving Mattheo and me alone in the hushed silence. My heart hammered against my ribs, a chaotic rhythm that seemed to echo in the stillness.
Mattheo took a tentative step forward, his hand hovering in the air for a moment before gently settling on the back of my chair. "Can we talk?" he murmured, his voice a husky whisper.
"Yeah, just not here," I managed to get the words out, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Lead the way," he said, his arm tightening around me possessively as we walked out of the library
The anger that had simmered within me for days threatened to fade once I saw him, and it just hit me how much I missed him.
As we made our way to our secret chamber (the hidden chamber we found last year and claimed as ours),tucked away from the curious eyes and whispers of Hogwarts, Mattheo's touch took on a possessive edge. His hands found every excuse to claim me, a silent proclamation to the entire school that I was still his .
With each step down the narrow passage, Mattheo drew me closer, his fingertips tracing tantalizing patterns on my skin. The sensation sent delightful shivers through me, igniting a quiet thrill of belonging in his arms amidst the bustling halls of our magical world.
The soft glow of the hidden chamber beckoned us, casting an enchanting ambiance that mirrored the intimacy between us.
As soon as we were finally in , I turned to him,my voice tinged with anger."What was that all about ? A show for the audience ? "
He met my gaze, a playful glint simmering beneath the surface of his seriousness. "Just reminding everyone that you're happily taken."
"Happily?" I scoffed, pushing against his arm, "We haven't spoken a word to each other in days!"
He leaned even closer, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. "And whose fault is that, love? " His warm breath tickled my ear, sending shivers cascading down my spine.
My cheeks burned, a mixture of annoyance and something else entirely swirling within me. "Yeah, going to blame that all on me now?"
"No," he paused, his eyes searching mine. "I just don’t understand why you're so mad about what I did to that perk."
I sighed, "it’s not about him , Mattheo… You know that," I conceded, my voice softer than I intended. "It’s about the promise you made and broke. You know how much I hate that."
It stirred up emotions I'd rather forget. Let's just say, coming from a family where promises were often broken had its drawbacks.
"So you've chosen to give me the silent treatment instead of talking it out? Is that your solution y/n?"
I scoffed, crossing my arms defensively. "I didn’t expect it to drag on this long. I was upset,but Maybe then I get tired of being treated like an afterthought."
"An afterthought?" he scoffed back, incredulous. "You haven't spoken to me in days!"
"And whose fault is that?" I shot back, my voice rising. "You waltzed over to those Ravenclaw girls like they were the only ones who existed!"
"That was a stupid attempt to get your attention, alright!" he snapped, his frustration boiling over. "I never meant to make you feel like an afterthought."
"But you did!" I yelled, my voice echoing in the damp chamber.
He ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. "I messed up, okay? I know that! But instead of talking to me about it, you shut me out."
"And what was I supposed to do?" I countered, my voice softening slightly. "Sit back and watch you flirt with every girl who walks by?"
"It wasn't flirting!" he defended, his voice strained.
"Then what was it?" I challenged, narrowing my eyes. "Because from where I was standing, it looked an awful lot like flirting."
"That's not fair," he said, his voice low. "And what about what you said? Visiting that perk in the hospital? Was that supposed to make me feel better?"
He was so close that I could feel his breath on my face
"Maybe I overreacted about Michael," I mumbled, finally breaking the silence.
"Maybe you did," he agreed cautiously anger in his eyes and lips so close to mine
“it’s really fucking rich of you to push the blame into me “ I screamed in his face frustration boiling over
“yet i was the only one putting in the effort to fix things!” He said back with lips so close to mine
“you didn’t even —” pulling me close. In a rush his lips were on mine I didn’t get to finish the words . It took a few moments for me to come to my senses; letting my eyes flutter closed as i kissed him back. The kiss wasn't gentle or sweet. It was needy and heated as mattheo’s tongue moved against mine.
In an instant, I found myself pressed against the wall, his mouth devouring me hungrily. His hand on the back of my neck drew me closer, while the other rested on my waist, kneading the flesh there. He pulled away slightly, speaking against my lips “ jump”He ordered, and I complied wrapping my legs around him
"Mattheo—" He silenced me once more with a kiss.
His black hair was hanging down into his face, so i pushed it back. 
As he ended the kiss, his hands reached for my robe, tossing it aside. Next, his fingers trailed to the hem of my shirt, pulling it upward. Throughout, his gaze remained locked with mine as he removed the shirt, adding it to the pile on the ground. . “If you just wanted a dirty fuck , you should have just asked” 
Gently placing me on the bed, he observed as I sank into the soft sheets. He removed his shirt and joined me, straddling my hips without a word. His eyes held mine as he pushed up my skirt. "This stays," he stated firmly, maintaining direct eye contact.
He then moved to hook his fingers in the waistband of my underwear. Slowly, he pulled down the lace material, causing me to close my eyes in response to the sensation.
"Matt, what are you doing?" I asked breathlessly, feeling his warm breath against my thighs.
His hands glided up and down my thighs, eliciting a soft moan from me as I savored the sensation of his skin against mine. It had only been a week, but I missed this closeness immensely.
My eyes flew open as his hands gently spread my legs, his face drawing closer between my thighs.“ You’re so wet for me.” he chuckled cockily “ i this a new kink we just discovered “
“you’re so full of Yourself .” I didn’t help the smile that comes
“and you’re about to be full of me, so what does that make us?” He Murmuring as His hands wrapped around my thighs, pulling me closer to his mouth.
“ Merlin's Beard! “I moaned so loudly
never breaking eye contact as his tongue lapped at my wetness. I moaned loudly, the sensation overwhelming me as Matt's tongue explored my wetness. Each flick of his tongue and gentle suck sent waves of pleasure coursing through my body, making me tremble beneath him. My heart raced, the sound echoing in my ears as I expressed how much I had missed him.
"God, Matt, I missed you so much," I moaned, my mouth agape and my toes curling into the sheets. My hands instinctively tangled in his hair, urging him on with each movement. I cried out his name as the intensity built, feeling like I was on the brink of ecstasy.
But then, it stopped.
Confused and desperate, I lifted my head from the pillow, tears in my eyes as I struggled to catch my breath. "Why... why did you stop?" I cried out, my voice a mixture of frustration and need.
Matt flashed me an amused smile, teasing me further with a kiss to my aching clit. My breathing quickened again as he kissed along my inner thigh, deliberately avoiding where I wanted him most.
"Matt," I whimpered, regretting the frustration I must have caused him. His kisses trailed back up my body until he was face to face with me, watching me quiver beneath him.
"Please," I begged softly, feeling the desperation creeping into my voice.
“ what is it my sweet girl? “ He brushed my hair aside and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. "You've been teasing me all week," he murmured, his eyes filled with desire. "Wearing those short skirts, laughing with my friends, giving me the silent treatment."
He kissed me again, his touch sending shivers down my spine. "I've wanted nothing more than to take you right then and there , to fuck you senseless that my name will be the only thing you remember " he confessed, his voice husky with desire.
His lips trailed down to my earlobe, where he bit it softly, eliciting another moan from me. His mouth continued its journey, claiming every inch of my body with his tongue and teeth, until he reached my chest.
I arched back, silently pleading for his attention on my breasts. With a teasing hook of his finger, he slid down the neckline of my top, removing the lace of my bra in the process. His mouth captured one nipple, sucking slowly while his free hand caressed the other.
His actions sent shivers down my spine as he licked, sucked, and bit, creating a delicious rhythm that had me gasping for more.
"I'm sorry," I cried out, tears welling up in my eyes. "I missed you so much, and seeing you laughing with those girls hurt."
"I know, my sweet girl, I know," he whispered, his head buried between my legs once more. "Let me make it up to you."
With renewed fervor, he sucked harshly on my clit, his fingers pumping in and out of me rhythmically. The combination of sensations overwhelmed me, and I couldn't help but moan in pleasure.
As my body reached its peak, I gripped his hands tightly, feeling the fluttering release of my orgasm. I moaned his name loudly, I moaned his name probably too loudly for ghosts in the castle liking, pulled him up for a passionate kiss, savoring the taste of myself on his lips.
“Turn around,” he says,
I obeyed his command to turn around, and he slowly unpinned my hair, letting it cascade down my back in loose waves. He pushed it over one shoulder with deliberate care, his fingers trailing down my spine, igniting goosebumps along my skin , his fingers trailing down my spine, brushing the skin on my back.
His lips found their way to my neck, planting soft kisses that trailed down to my shoulder. Then, I felt his fingertips running along my skin again, sending a shiver of anticipation through me. His touch entered my hot, dripping core, and I couldn't help but let out a loud moan, begging for more.
"Do you like that?" he asked, his voice filled with desire.
"Yeah," I managed to say between moans.
“Is this why you were shouting nonsense at me? Because all you really wanted was me to fuck you senseless? Huh?” His words were like fire, and as he added another finger, I couldn't help but scream in pleasure.
continued to pump his fingers into me, increasing the intensity with each stroke. his finger got faster and faster His thumb pressed onto my clit, sending waves of pleasure through my body, gripping the bedding hard as the third finger carefully joins the others hitting my g-spot continuously , trying to close my legs, his free hand keep them parted I felt my orgasm building stronger than ever before, my body unable to contain the pleasure.
He turned me around, kissing my cheek softly before returning to my open mouth, sucking my bottom lip between his own. "That was so hot," he grunted, concern lacing his tone. "Are you alright baby ?"
I took a moment to gather my thoughts, my chest heaving with each breath. Despite the intensity of the moment, my predominant feeling was one of satisfaction and desire.I hummed
“ need words my love “
"Yes Matt I’m alright " I managed to say, pulling him down for a deep, passionate kiss.
His hips pressed against mine as we kissed, his covered arousal rubbing against my heat, sending a surge of desire through me. I trailed my hands down his muscular back until I reached the waistband of his sweatpants.
"Baby, stop," he murmured, concern lacing his tone. "Are you sure you want to keep going? I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed."
"I've never been more sure about anything," I whispered, kissing his cheek. "I missed you, I want you."
He moaned as I touched his erect member through the fabric, his breath hitching slightly. "You need to stop, love," he managed to say, his voice strained with desire.
"Sorry," I replied, pulling my hands away quickly. He leaned down to kiss my neck softly, causing me to close my eyes and wrap my arms around him.
"You never have to apologize," he whispered against my earlobe before whispering, "I’m going to make love to you," and pressing his lips to mine in tender kisses. then onc again pressing his lips to mine in sweet, sweet kisses.
one of my favourite thing about mattheo is how gentle he can be. He can be so passionate when he wants to and right now i can feel the love behind his kisses. 
Feeling his cock tapping against my clit a few times, I couldn't help but let out a moan as he guided himself into me. Taking hold of my leg again, he used them both as leverage to push himself fully inside me. I moaned into his ear, my breath hitching in anticipation.
"Fuck," I whispered, watching him mutter under his breath as he slid in and out of me slowly. The sensation was incredible; I could feel every inch of him dragging over my most sensitive parts.
"Keep those pretty eyes on me, baby," he whispered, and I opened my teary eyes slowly, doing as he said. He smiled, his gaze filled with desire. "That's it, good girl ."
Still buried deep inside me, his movements began to pick up speed. My breath caught in my throat as pleasure surged through me.
"Oh," I gasped, my head dropping back as my mouth fell open in pleasure.
"You feel so fucking good," he grunted with each thrust. "So fucking mine."
I hummed in response, words escaping me as Mattheo continued to drive me wild. With each thrust, my moans grew louder, reaching a crescendo of pleasure.
"Mattheo," I moaned, his name leaving my lips like a prayer.
"That's it, baby," he replied, his lips devouring mine softly. "So beautiful, moaning my name like that."
With a gentle touch, he pushed my hair out of my face before placing his hands on my cheeks. His eyes roamed my face while he continued to thrust into me at a slow, deliberate pace. I looked at him with half-lidded eyes, my chest rising and falling with rapid breaths.
As he started to thrust harder, I grabbed a fistful of the sheets, feeling the intensity building within me. His hips bucked against me, his face buried in the crook of my neck. The faster pace and increased pressure caused my eyes to roll back in my head. I was on the edge of my high, having come so close moments earlier.
"Mattheo, I can't wait any longer," I screamed out, wrapping my legs around his torso tightly and intertwining our hands.
"Not yet," he grunted, turning his head to meet my gaze. He continued to move in and out of me, keeping eye contact as he held himself up by his forearms. I was so sensitive that the delay in my orgasm began to ache, and I felt the need to let go.
"Please, let me cum, baby," I pleaded, sounded desperate, begging him not to pull away at the last minute again. "I can't..."
And just as I was about to reach my breaking point, he freed one of his hands and snuck it between us, his fingers expertly rubbing at my clit and pushing me over the edge.
"I need you to do something for me, pretty girl. Want to try something?" he asked, and I nodded, willing to do anything he asked in that moment.
He kept everything slow, almost torturous, building up the tightening pressure inside of me with each pass before thrusting so hard the next time that I felt like I was going to pass out.
"Don't be nervous," he murmured, kissing my forehead. "Just relax and let go. I'll keep going until you tell me to stop." His soft tone sent flutters through my heart, and I nodded in response.
My breath hitched as his hand returned to my clit, igniting a fire in my belly. His hard thrusts hit my g-spot, and I screamed out, clinging onto his hand as if my life depended on it.
"Shit," I hissed, feeling him deep inside me, the pleasure building into a heavy weight in my gut. A tingling sensation hummed through my limbs.
"Let go, baby," he ordered, and I did just that as waves of pleasure crashed over me. It was an intense release unlike anything I'd ever felt before, leaving me shakily tilting my head up, tears in my eyes as I watched clear fluid gushing out of me each time Mattheo pulled back.
When he noticed me watching, he withdrew entirely, bringing his soaked fingers to my clit and rubbing fast circles that made me cry out loudly as my muscles spasmed again. Without his presence inside me, an unbroken stream of fluid rushed out, spraying over the bed sheets.
"Oh my god," I whimpered, needing a moment to focus on the overwhelming sensations. Mattheo made a noise of appreciation, reentering me, the wet sounds now more intense as he pushed in again.
"That's my good girl, you just squirted for me, baby. See how good you are," he praised, his words adding to the intensity of the moment.rl you just squirt for me baby see how good you are ”
Pounding into my g-spot hard enough to make my legs shake, he elicited another wave of pleasure that rolled through me. Instinctively, my body responded to Mattheo's instructions, bursts of arousal shooting out of me as I moaned softly with each pump of his hand.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I gasped in sync with his movements.
"Holy shit," Mattheo rasped as he drew his fingers out again, groaning when he returned to my clit and easily worked even more wetness out of me. "You just keep fucking cuming, baby."
I could barely process what he was saying. "Please, cum inside me, Matt," I wanted to mention that I finally got on pills this week but couldn't find the energy to.
"Yeah?" He breathed, "Want me to cum inside this pretty pussy?" Thrusting hard, his fingers still circling my clit, I moaned out his name as I squirted again and again. My pussy started to quiver as he continued to fuck me through it, crying out loudly when I felt him coming inside me as well.
Wetness splashed out of me in endless spurts, soaking my cunt, his hand, and the bed. It felt like I was coming for hours, amazed at what my body was capable of.
"You okay, my love?" He asked, concern evident in his voice as he looked down at me. My eyes were closed, and I gave no indication that I was listening to him, feeling like I had passed out for a second.
"Hey angel, open your eyes to me, please," Mattheo implored, kissing my cheeks and rubbing his thumb soothingly.
"Yeah, I just need a moment," I managed to whisper, feeling drained. "I think you ruined me, Matt," I added with a weak smile.
He chuckled softly, giving me kisses all over my face. "Yeah?" he teased.
"In a good way though," I reassured him.
With a small grunt, Mattheo pushed himself off of me and sat up from the bed. I reached out for him, not wanting him to leave my side yet. He chuckled at my antics, lightly grasping my hand and stroking my fingers before letting it go and stepping away.
"Just going to grab a few things to clean you up, love. I promise I’ll be right back," he assured me.
Nodding, I closed my eyes again, too exhausted to do anything else.
"I brought you some water, darling. You should drink a little," he said as he sat back down on the bed next to me, helping me sit up a bit. I complied lazily, sipping from the glass he held against my lips.
"Now, spread your legs a little, sweetheart. I need to clean you up. Not too sore?" He asked as he gently cleaned me up with a washcloth, my body still sensitive .
As he cleaned me up and tidied the sheets, I felt sleep starting to take over me, comforted by his warmth and embrace. He kissed my face a few times and chuckled softly before I finally drifted off to sleep, feeling content and loved.
"I don’t think I would ever be able to walk again," I joked softly .
"I would carry you then," he replied affectionately.
"Since it’s all your fault, so yes," I teased, feeling a mix of emotions.
"I’m so sorry," he apologized sincerely
"Matt—"
"No, listen. I’m really sorry for everything. It was all my fault from the start. I shouldn’t have promised you that and then go and break it the next day," he admitted regretfully.
“ I’m so sorry too “ I hugged him tightly, hiding my face in his neck as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling the blanket over us.
"Can we sleep here tonight?" I asked, wanting to be close to him.
"We can do anything you want, baby. I will do whatever you want," he promised, kissing my forehead.
"I love you so, so much," I whispered, feeling sleepiness creeping in.
"I love you so much too, my love," he replied, kissing my forehead back.
"Baby?" he said after a moment.
"Yeah?" I replied, feeling sleepy.
"Did you ever think about kids?" he asked, surprising me.
I laughed softly. "What?"he said
"I’m on pills, baby. I finally managed to get them," I explained, resting my head on his chest as I got ready to sleep.
"Baby?" he said again, and I hummed in response.
"Just for your information, I’m going to hit that Zacharias boy so hard tomorrow he can join Michael in the hospital, and Michael doesn’t have to feel lonely anymore. I’m telling you now,"
"I was thinking about hexing him into a toad, but we can decide tomorrow," laughing while giving him one last kiss I said .
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gaspshichat · 9 months ago
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extremely long pearl appreciation post except this time i'm maintagging bc i want her to see this. she deserves to see this
she is the kindest soul ever. every bit message, every sub message, every gifted sub, and as many chat messages as possible are read. she genuinely doesn't want anyone to be left out
pearl had a rough start to stream today with a bunch of bots saying really weird things and someone revealing private information of hers which is weird. i have choice words for them but i'll keep myself pg for this post
it resulted in her having to turn on sub only mode which she said upset her. what did chat do?
they gifted probably around 200-500 subs to the community
pearl kept saying how bad she felt that she was practically forced into turning on sub only mode but she also said she didn't want her community gifting so many subs bc of an awful situation. they still did
i will always say that pearl is the nicest person ever. anytime smth bad happens to someone in chat, she's sympathetic and kind and gives them a message. anytime smth good happens to someone in chat, she's very excited and happy for them
it takes someone who is genuinely kind and selfless to do that. pearl does not have to read every bit message and sub message. but she does
her community reflects this kindness. i got broken up with two hours before valentine's day and told chat [bc streams for me are 6am-10am]. chat was so kind and gave me ideas on what to do with the flowers [which i did what they suggested!]
i've been in fandom communities for almost ten years now. pearl's is the kindest. there are so many people in chat i recognize [secret agent, sapphicwhimsy, kawaiitron, voxkeys, cardmoney, etc] that i look forward to seeing in chat. usually i dread seeing what happens in twitch chat's
not hers. hers are so full of kindness bc she is full of kindness and it just radiates and spreads to her community. yes it's fairly no nonsense, her deleting any weird messages, but that's to make sure it's a good place to be
i've been having nightmares and flashbacks recently due to reasons i wish to keep private. very few youtubers/streamers are able to help me sleep without those issues. pearl is one of them. her community is genuinely safe
i tell everyone interested in mcyt to watch pearl. i've been spreading pearl propaganda [/silly]. she deserves so much more than she has. pearl deserves the world
this is an extremely long post but i need to get my point across to her and anyone else, whether they're a pearl fan or not [yet]
pearl, we all love you and are proud to be part of the community. you are such a genuinely sweet person who deserves all the kindness in the world. i'm so sorry you had to deal with that bullshit [pardon my language]. it does genuinely suck but i hope the ~300 subs helped make you feel better hehe 🫶🫶
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theoriginalkaminari · 3 months ago
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♧he went...that way...♧
Katsuki Bakugou x CheshireCat!reader
♤Reader can be any gender, reader has like cat ears and tail and stuff cuz...cheshire cat quirk ig, uhhhh this can be in like season 3, and him and reader are kinda in a situationship, and also I wrote this at 3am and was very sleepy, please don't judge about how shit it is💀🗿
◇Enjoy at your own risk
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"Dammit.." Katsuki mutters as he walks through the forest outside of the U.A dorms. He grumbles to himself, looking behind trees and around bushes.
Katsuki got into a fight with Izuku, again, and Izuku ran off to get some distance from him, which made Katsuki chase him. So that leads Katsuki here, investigating the forest to find the green-haired boy.
"You can't hide forever, Deku!" Katsuki yells, cupping his hands around his mouth in hopes it would make his voice carry throughout the forest.
Katsuki's search is interrupted by a certain someone's mischievous giggle. Katsuki grumbles to himself, rubbing the bridge between his nose in annoyance.
"You'll never find him where you're going." You trease, lounging back on a long and thick tree branch as you stare down at him with a predatory gaze. You giggle again, rolling onto your stomach, tilting your head side to side. "You look so small from up here, so fragile!"
Katsuki glares up at you as you taunt him, watching as your tail flicks back and forth and side to side. You've always been a nuisance to him, always messing with him and making his life harder for a cheap laugh.
But he loves you anyway. You're lucky your cute.
His best bet was to just try and ignore you, so he tried to do that. Katsuki looks back at the path infront of him, continueing to stomp off, but he stopped when he heard footsteps behind him. He turns, only to see you mimicking his walk.
"SCRAM!" Katsuki growls at you, making you disappear with a laugh. Katsuki smirks, proud of himself for scaring you off. Just as he's about to move again, he sees footprints walking behind him, almost making him think Tooru was there, but he knew it was you messing with him again.
Katsuki lets out a surprised yelp when you lift him up by his waist, carrying him around like a suitcase. "Oi! Put me down, you mangy cat!" He exclaims, kicking his legs and gently punching your thigh. Katsuki squrims in your arms, trying to escape before you see the blush on his face.
"Alright~" You grin, holding him up above your head with ease, then drops him onto the ground. Katsuki falls down with a soft 'oof', then quickly stands up and dusts himself off. "How the hell do you do that?! I'm taller than you!" He says, glaring at you as you circle around him.
You move behind him and squish his waist, making him blush even more. "Why, its not my fault you have such a grabable waist." You retort, giving him a playful bite on his nape. "Why not stay a while? The rabbit is long gone, you won't catch him now." You tease, placing your chin on his shoulder and whispering in his ear.
Katsuki grumbles and clenches his fists, not wanting to give into you, but also really wanting for you to squeeze his waist again. "Whatever. Just tell me where Deku went already." Katsuki huffs, crossing his arms against his chest.
You grin, stepping infront of him and plastering on an innocent smile. "Why, of course!" You say sweetly, tilting your head to the side. You then point your arms in opposite directions, and can't help but grin mischievously. "He went," You begin as your eyes flick between left and right, not choosing a single direction. "That way."
Katsuki groans, covering his face with his hands. "You're such an ass! Fine! I'll find Deku myself!" He grumbles out, moving past you, storming off.
You grin, leaning back against nothing, yet keeping your balance perfectly as you stare at Katsuki's retreating figure. "Well, good luck. He went right, not left." You mutter to yourself, giggling mischievously. You grin again, ready to follow him again and continue to annoy the ash blonde.
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goldsbitch · 5 months ago
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Hello hello! I am still absolutely obsessed with the "Fire" fic you wrote. You are such a talented writer omg, the storytelling, the humour, everything!
So I thought, I have an idea for a funny fic and I'm just gonna send it in LOL I remember Lando saying in an interview that he's really scared when he's the passenger. So what if his GF is speeding all the time and Lando is just internally freaking out and sweating while trying to keep his cool next to her?
Just an idea, if you don't wanna write it that's fine too (:
omg omg omg thank you so much! i'm blushing and i'm scared - hopefully you'll like this one! i added a detail that might be little over the top - but who knows? not me anymore.
I'll drive
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"You have a car?!" Lando uttered, forgetting any table manners, the food he had been chewing nearly falling out of his mouth.
Y/N was dead silent, the look on her face strongly resembling a child who lied about cleaning their room and just blushed every toy under their bed.
Her boyfriend gave her a cheeky questioning look, and when it finally set in - the fact she had been hiding the existence of her car from him - he was truly stunned and somewhat amused.
"So, wait. You know how to drive?! Why am I always taking you places?" he asked rhetorically, never actually being bothered by that, but still.
"I don't know how to drive-" she tried before getting interrupted by her father.
"Of course she does, I taught her myself," the jolly man said and patted her on her back with a proud smile. Y/N's face got washed with crocked smile, as if she swallowed something truly detestable.
"No, I do not know how to drive-"
"Nonsense, she's alway been so hard on herself," he father continued. Y/N just sighed.
The young couple came to visit her hometown for the first time. It was lot of reminescing of old times and her school days - a context that Lando very much appreaciated. He had met her as a grown up woman, but that weekend, he witnessed many amusing moments and heard lots of stories that only childhood small towns hold. What did he love the most about this experience? The fact there was nothing for her to do to stop it, no matter how much she frowned. Influx of surprising moments, but this discovery topping all of them.
She saw Lando's perplexed face and tried to save the situation. "I never lied to you, technically you never asked...I just figured you like driving so much, why bother, especially if I am so bad at it..."
Lando was not having it. "Oh, you're not getting easily out of this one," he replied, biting his lower lip, actively having to remind himself of the fact her family was right there. There was something innately attractive about her being so raw and pushed into a corner. Just pure cuteness. "I'm sure you're not half as bad as majority of the people out there," he said, new plans forming in his head. "I think you and I should take her for a spin," he said, referring to the car, and hid his smile behind a glass. Her eyes were piercing his with an energy so intense, it was electrifying.
"No, Lando, I am not driving while you're in the same car," she stated firmly, not breaking the eye contact.
"Come one, sweetheart, it'll be fun," he said, honey dripping out of his mouth.
"It will be anything but that," she said, but Lando ignored that, turning into her father for more information.
"So what kind of a car it?"
The rest of the conversation continued in description of a car Y/N herself could only describe as red, her father telling a story about how he got it for his daughter and how she actually barely ever drove it, which apparently broke his heart.
//
Let's not forget, this was Lando - of course he had ulterior motives. While it was great, spending few wholesome days in the company of his girlfriends family, his frustration grew, because for some reason, she refused to have any intimate activities in her family's house. Why, he had no idea. But of course, he respected that.
She never mentioned anything about not having some nice outdoor sex in a car. He wanted to see her drive and also ride. His perfect afternoon.
Lando is not the best of passengers, often uneasy about the common mistakes casual drivers made. Taking over the wheel is a natural thing for him to do. But, this was an exception he was excited to make - how bad could it be, right? He learned the hard way not to ask that question again.
//
"You sure you don't want to switch places?" she asked, once again, doing everything she could to get out of this.
"Nope babe, passenger seat is the vibe for me today," he smirked, making himself overly comfortable sitting next to her.
She raised her eyebrows. "Here goes nothing, I guess," she murmured and put the keys into ignition.
Lando found it amusing, seeing her so hyper-focused, as if she was launching a rocket ship. To be fair, it was a manual car - so it was close.
Three deep breaths - I fucking hate this, she thought, turned the key and released the clutch. When the car immediately jumped, Lando regretted sitting in his usual obscure way, his head hitting the door with quite a loud bump.
"Told ya," she said and started the car again. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't possibly sell her mistake as an intention.
"You released the clutch too soon," he said while assessing the bump forming on his head.
"Do not give me advice when I drive, makes me angry," she announced and this time actually managed to start the car in a semi-ok way.
Lando watched his bubbly, happy-go-lucky, girlfriend turn into a monster and there was nothing for him to do to stop it.
Everything was somewhat fine when they were still on the quiet roads surrounding her neighborhood. She stopped on the way to the main road, watching two cars that were comically far away and letting them pass. They didn't have to say anything, both knew what the other one was thinking. Y/N knew there was plenty of time for her to join the road before those cars, but the lack of trust in her own abilities was making her wait stubbornly. Lando watched the scenery, amused and starting to understand that in this relationship, his place as the driver was more than secure. She didn't want to be in this position, in fact she was increasingly more mad, that Lando and her father teamed up on her. But since she was where fate got her, she was absolutely not accepting Lando smirking at her.
"I know what you think, we have plenty of time, so I will not be doing some stupid moves to get us both killed," she said and gripped the steering wheel even more.
To prove his point, Lando leaned over her and squirted his eyes and watched the slowly approaching cars. He gave her a sarcastic nod. She rolled her eyes.
"I'm joking, I'm joking," he said, putting his hands in defense.
"You better be, otherwise I'll just yeet us into the ditch."
"Feisty..."
And that was when the line got crossed.
"Fine!" she said, having no control over her emotions, and pressed the gas with new found energy. She turned, almost into a drift, and joined the main road, nearly having the two cars crash into her.
Lando gripped the handle, not expecting her to speed so much. His eyes went wide with realizations - she was the kind of driver operating on emotions. Had this been a racing track and an F1 car, he'd be having more fun, knowing the cars were epitome of safety. He was not so sure about this vehicle.
She had the "Tsunoda" energy and absolute lack of skill to go about it. Weaving, wrong gear almost constantly and not bothered by the sound her car was making.
"You're driving quite close to the lane, baby," he commented, getting more and more worried about their safety.
"Shut up, don't be all smart about it," she said, lips locked in a line. She was focused - not that it helped.
Another hard turn where she missed the right moment to go into it. Lando took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second, trying to stay calm.
After few hundred metres, he couldn't take it again.
"I think you're way over the speeding limit," he mentioned.
"That's not what this says," he nodded to her speedometer. Lando leaned over and had to laugh.
"Yeah, that's definitely not correct. Honey, I'm sorry, but the lane - you are too close to it," he said in the calmest tone he could gather.
"My brain does not work like that, I see it more in an abstract way..."
His eyes nearly popped out. "You see the road in an abstract way? Oh dear god."
She sighed, not understanding what was the big deal was. "No like, it's a concept. It's not real, if there is nobody on the road, you can be anywhere."
"I'm pretty sure that's not the case, sweetheart," he said and thought for himself that it could be the case if she knew how to drive, but not like that. "Change the gear, you're burning your clutch."
She slapped the steering wheel. "I. Do not. Accept. Advice. At the moment. Thank you!" she said slowly before going on a rampage. "We both know you're exceptionally good at this, it was your idea, I tried to stop you, so now face the situation and do not tell me what to do because I might panic even more!"
"Ok, ok, calm down," he said, putting his hands up in defense and turning his head away to avoid watching her inventing a new way how to turn the steering wheel.
This sent her over the edge, truly giving up on any rules. She was mad, scared, uncomfortable and kind of hungry to be honest.
Lando stayed silent, worried for his life, regretting his decision and making a mental note to listen to her if she says she can't do something - if they survive this.
A huge bump and a loud noise. She barely managed to keep the car on the road.
"What is that?" she screamed, not knowing what to do.
"Front left tire puncture, retire the car! I mean, shit, stop, over there," he gestured, to the sideline of the road.
//
"Ok, so what now?" she said once it seemed like a decent amount of time for him to stop observing the wheel.
"It's just the tire, I'm sure you've got a spare at the back, right?" he asked and like the gentleman he was, got up and looked in the back for a replacement. When he got it out, he proudly put it in front of her, considering his part of the job done. She stared at him, not moving. "There you go," he said, encouraging her. "They taught you how to do this at driving school."
"Um, yeah. I missed that lesson. Can you do it?"
"How could you miss that lesson?" he asked in desperation. Both of them stood there, waiting for the other to take the lead. It was very unusual for Y/N to see him this passive around a car. "Come on, you must have had a question about this on your test," he pleaded.
And then it clicked. "Lando?" she asked, having a very strange feeling about his behavior. "Do you know how to change a tire?"
He stayed silent, pretending to ignore her question. Y/N's eyes went wide. "Oh my god, you don't know how to change a tire?!" she asked once again, unable to believe that could even be the case. "Isn't that like half of your job?"
"Well no, actually, my job is to drive. There is a whole team dedicated for changing my tires," he said matter-o-factly.
"You're a racing driver. Spend more time in a car than in a bed. And you don't know how to change a tire," she stated and started to laugh. "That's so rich."
He let out a heavy sigh. "I've never actually done it myself. Plus these are normal tires, different system."
"Oh my god," she said, unable to process.
The way how much this whole thing has backfired had Lando stuck. He was suppose to be engaging in inappropriate activities with his girlfriend at this moment. In his understanding of that, it did not include getting his phone out and searching for an online tutorial for bloody tire change. But, there he was. Y/N was suddenly having so much fun, coming off a high that was the adrenaline her body produced during driving. She was free and driving was impossible now. Bliss. In her opinion, this was all Lando's fault - she told him she couldn't drive. Payback time - hopefully Oscar would pick up.
She was dialing her phone, while he was trying to understand how to go about this.
Yes, he picked up! "Hi, this is Y/N," she said in a very serious tone. "Who are you calling?" Lando mouthed, his biggest worry that she dialed up her father and he is now going to have a reputation until the end of time. "Help," she mouthed back silently.
"Hi Y/N," was Oscar's response, the driver being somewhat confused as to why she was calling him. "What's up?"
"Glad you ask. Me and my boyfriend got into a serious situation."
"You and Lando?"
Lando frowned. "Are you calling assistance? We don't need them..."
She ignored him."Yes, I was forced to drive-"
"He let you drive?"
"Forced-"
"What kind of assistance is it?" Lando asked, doubting the whole phone call.
Y/N continued without pausing. "And we managed to get a flat tire, which I don't know how to fix and to surprise of the whole universe, he can't fix as well."
There was only laughter on the other end of the call.
"Y/N, who are you calling?"
Y/N pretended not the hear Lando. "Do you know how to change a tire?"
Oscar was more than amused, knowing he just gained a wild card to use on Lando anytime he would want. "Yes, of course I do. Put me on Facetime with him."
Y/N smirked at her boyfriend, who was still confused and with sparkles in her eyes handed him her phone.
"Oscar says hi!"
Lando blinked, several times. "What? No!...Shit. Hey Oscar," he waved at his teammate awkwardly.
"I have been summoned," Oscar announced, finding this all very amusing.
"Yes," Lando replied, defeated.
Oscar did not wait and took the situation in charge. "First step to do is make yourself seen, guys. You got a triangle?"
"Where's the bloody bucket hat when you need it the most..." Y/N mumbled, having Lando roll his eyes in reaction.
"I'll go and find it and you guys figure this out, ok?" she said handing over the phone to Lando and giving him a little peck on the cheek.
"I hate you," he said with a smile.
"I hate you more," she replied and skipped over to the trunk.
//
After series of creative curse words, one pair of ruined jeans and a celebratory high five, the pair stood once again in front of her car, staring at each other.
"I guess I'll drive us back," Lando decided loudly and waited for her approval.
"Agree. Let's not disturb the gods anymore. You're such a bad passenger princess anyway."
The past hour was filled with lot of conflicting emotions, but the only one that stayed was the love the two shared just by looking at each other.
"I'm sorry I forced you into this," Lando apologized softly. "It was not fair. I see that now."
Her lips turned into a weak smile. "Thank you. And sorry for calling Oscar. I'm sure he won't let you forget this."
He saw right through her. "No, you're not sorry about that - I can see the devil in your eyes."
She bit her tongue. "Yup."
It was hard for Lando not to kiss her in that moment. It was impossible for her to resist.
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clovers-housetree · 4 months ago
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Activities for Regressors Without Caregivers! (or just fun regression activties!)
(Although you're always welcome here if you'd like any form of comfort anyway! ^w^)
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This one's kind of a long one, after the few tips I list, I've mentioned an app I use called Finch, which will be talked about below the cut.
Since that's the case, I'll put my little ending message here instead:
Knowing how to take care of yourself can take a lot of work and practice, but I believe it's worth the effort, because then you'll be a happier and healthier you! Especially if you can find ways to make it fun!
I'm more than happy to be here for you and offer my support in any way I can, anyhow! I'm proud of you for doing what you can, I know it can be very hard.
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I myself don't have a caregiver for when I regress, so most of the time I end up taking care of myself! Here are some fun activities and things I do when I regress to keep myself calm and happy! ^w^
Paci mentions/pics not long after the first section for those of you who'd rather not see 'em.
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♥ Arts and crafts! I absolutely LOVE coloring and making bracelets with beads, something not too complicated for little hands, but also something fun!
With coloring, you can buy coloring books, or draw something of your own to color in- even printing out a page you find online, coloring digitally, or tracing over something to color in could work! I prefer coloring more than drawing personally because I don't draw all the time, but I bet I could learn a little thing or two from the artists around here!
For bracelets (and other jewelry), strings can be hard to knot with little hands (at least they aren't those small, slippery clasps!!), but the beads shouldn't be too hard to handle if you're careful! Even just planning out patterns is fun!
Here are some My Little Pony bracelets I made, and the decorations I did for my pacis!
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♥ Making playlists! Dancing is fun, and a good way to get the zoomies out, but you can just make playlists for any occasion! I have playlists that help me pet-regress, songs with sounds I like, adventure playlists... (Well- a lot of these are still in progress, but- you get the point!)
I also love those playlist videos on YouTube! Animal Crossing, Super Mario Galaxy, Minecraft and music box music are typically my go-to to help me settle or just make for comfy background music! Here's one of my favorites, shadowatnoon has lovely Nintendo music mixes!
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♥ Playing with your plushies! You can take them on adventures, or make your own!
Like Toby, climbing The Great Pillow Mountain!
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(This is Toby by the way, he's one of my best friends and a VERY good hugger!)
You can play games with them, too! Toby's REALLY good at hide and seek... Maybe you can find him for me? :0
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♥ Finding shows to watch! I really like Paw Patrol and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the moment. Plus, you can look at agere content and fics from shows you like! People make really cool stimboards and moodboards, for example, and I like reading through all the fun stories people write!
Here's a silly picture of Rocky I found! :3
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Finch
Finch is a self-care app where you take care of your very own little bird friend by taking care of yourself!
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You can set daily goals, or for each day (or more specific ones as well I think.). By completing these goals, you give your bird energy to go on adventures! They usually come back with a funny little story or silly questions, because they're learning, too!
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Through completing these goals (or daily, at least), you can get Rainbow Stones, which you can use to buy clothes for your bird, make them different colors, or give them furniture for their house!
They're also LGBTQ+ and disability-friendly!! :3
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This is my little bird, Honeydew! You're welcome to friend me as well if you'd like, my code is: Z3E2T7VRK6
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It's helped me learn a lot about taking care of myself and keeping track of my goals, and I get little rewards for it! I've used the app for several months now, and it's helped me out a lot!
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"Fluttershy protects this blog! SFW interaction only, please and thank you! ^w^"
"Wouldn't show a kid? Doesn't belong here!"
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