#i'm trying to make things more accessible/easier to read
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companion to my tag/reblog page to make the sections easier to read. feel free to tag me in any of the things below using #emilyblr.
──────── ・ ship list
TV SHOWS — — — — — — — —ㆍ⟡
BODY OF PROOF — megan & peter megan & kate BONES — booth & brennan angela & hodgins CASTLE — castle & beckett GILMORE GIRLS — luke & lorelai rory & logan HOUSE M.D. — house & cuddy house & stacy HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER — barney & robin ted & tracy barney & quinn THE MENTALIST — jane & lisbon rigsby & van pelt wylie & vega PRIVATE PRACTICE — charlotte & cooper addison & jake RIZZOLI & ISLES — jane & maura SUITS — harvey & donna TIMELESS — lucy & wyatt rufus & jiya THE X-FILES — mulder & scully
MUSICALS — — — — — — — —ㆍ⟡
WICKED — elphaba & glinda
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#mobile page#just ignore this lol#i'm trying to make things more accessible/easier to read#updated 3/12/2025
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An open letter to @staff
I already submitted this to Support under "Feedback," but I'm sharing it here too as I don't expect it to get a response, and I feel like putting in out in public may be more effective than sending it off into the void.
The recent post on the Staff blog about changing tumblr to an algorithmic feed features a large amount of misinformation that I feel staff needs to address, openly and honestly, with information on where this data was sourced at the very least.
Claim 1: Algorithms help small creators.
This is false, as algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement in order to get it more engagement, thereby assuring that the popular remain popular and the small remain small except in instances of extreme luck.
This can already be seen on the tumblr radar, which is a combination of staff picks (usually the same half-dozen fandoms or niche special interests like Lego photography) which already have a ton of engagement, or posts that are getting enough engagement to hit the radar organically. Tumblr has an algorithm that runs like every other socmed algorithm on the planet, and it will decimate the reach of small creators just like every other platform before it.
Claim 2: Only a small portion of users utilize the chronological feed.
You can find a poll by user @darkwood-sleddog here that at the time of writing this, sits at over 40 THOUSAND responses showing that over 96 percent of them use the chronological feed*. Claiming otherwise isn't just a misstatement, it's a lie. You are lying to your core userbase and expecting them to accept it as fact. It's not just unethical, it's insulting to people who have been supporting your platform for over a decade.
Claim 3: Tumblr is not easy to use.
This is also 100% false and you ABSOLUTELY know it. Tumblr is EXTREMELY easy to use, the issue is that the documentation, the explanations of features, and often even the stability of the service is subpar. All of this would be very easy for staff to fix, if they would invest in the creation of walkthroughs and clear explanations of how various site features work, as well as finally fixing the search function. Your inability to explain how your service works should not result in completely ignoring the needs and wants of your core long-term userbase. The fact that you're more willing to invest in the very systems that have made every other form of social media so horrifically toxic than in trying to make it easier for people to use the service AS IT WORKS NOW and fixing the parts that don't work as well speaks volumes toward what tumblr staff actually cares about.
You will not get a paycheck if your platform becomes defunct, and the thing that makes it special right now is that it is the ONLY large-scale socmed platform on THE ENTIRE INTERNET with a true chronological feed and no aggressive algorithmic content serving. The recent post from staff indicates that you are going to kill that, and are insisting that it's what we want. It is not. I'd hazard to guess that most of the dev team knows it isn't what we want, but I assume the money people don't care. The user base isn't relevant, just how much money they can bring in.
The CEO stated he wanted this to remain as sort of the last bastion of the Old Internet, and yet here we are, watching you declare you intend to burn it to the ground.
You can do so much better than this.
Response to the Update
Under the cut for readability, because everything said above still applies.
I already said this in a reblog on the post itself, but I'm adding it to this one for easy access: people read it that way because that's what you said.
Staff considers the main feed as it exists to be "outdated," to the point that you literally used that word to describe it, and the main goals expressed in this announcement is to figure out what makes "high-quality content" and serve that to users moving forward.
People read it that way because that is what you said.
*The final results of the poll, after 24 hours:
136,635 votes breaks down thusly:
An algorithm based feed where I get "the best of tumblr." @ 1.3% (roughly 1,776 votes)
Chronological feed that only features blogs I follow. @ 95.2% (roughly 130,077 votes)
This doesn't affect me personally. @ 3.5% (roughly 4,782 votes)
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how to start reading again
from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.
start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.
don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.
go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.
remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)
analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.
read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.
finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.
try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.
forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.
remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!
stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.
#louisa-gc#academia#studyblr#aesthetic#book#books#reading#read#advice#help#university#study#uni#library#bibliophile#it girl#that girl#habits#booktok#booktube#bookstagram
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Use Your Head
Hi my love bugs!! Part two to Migraine is here. I'm sorry it took me a bit to edit. Last half of the original one shot but I am already planning/ have written a few patreon exclusive extensions for them. Enjoy!
Check out our Patreon for early access and 260+ exclusive writings
WC- 11.2k
Warnings- mentions of alcoholism/addiction, anxiety, prior bullying, smut, biting, soft dom!Harry, unprotected sex, creampie, slight moment of choking
Over the following weeks, Harry made a conscious effort to change how he interacted with Y/N. No more constant teasing, no more overly loud jokes to try and capture her attention. No more being straight up obnoxious.
Instead, he found himself bringing her coffee on days he knew she was fighting a migraine, asking genuinely about her day, and going out of his way to make her life a little bit easier. It wasn’t just the guilt of it that was the driving force. Y/N was so lovely, so sweet. He’d been stupid to think that just because she was quiet that she was being judgmental or that she didn’t like him- because if he’d bothered to sit and listen to the whispers she did let out, he’d have been as enamored as he was now, months ago. And that was saying something considering how his crush had festered.
Oddly enough, he had shared bits of his life with her that he usually kept private. It was something his therapist said was a defense mechanism for him, using humor to get people to like him but also succeed without opening up- but Y/N seemed to genuinely listen. She remembered stuff he said about his childhood dog or the fact cilantro tasted like soap to him. And to his surprise, she started opening up too - albeit cautiously. Her quiet demeanor made their late-night office chat sessions when they had to finish projects more special somehow, each small exchange feeling earned rather than forced.
It had started with her coffee order- iced mocha when she was drinking for enjoyment but an americano was ideal when she was approaching a headache for optimal caffeine. Then it ventured into the little fun facts that had him keeping a mental log of the obscure things he picked up along the way.
She was really good at using chopsticks, she kept a tea kettle in her office and tea bags- including the ones he’d gotten her- which she would let him have if he asked. She had a pet rabbit at home named Mocha, in honor of her favorite drink. She went to bed at exactly midnight (or tried to when her sleeping issue didn’t bug her) every night. She preferred the shape of anatomical hearts over the standard ones used for Valentine’s Day. She had an extensive TBR (he found out it meant To Be Read from google later) but she kept falling for sales and she was a sucker for a good romance so she had books in piles all over her place. All the things he learned were kept up in his head as precious information to use to make her feel more seen, more comfortable.
So when she had mentioned having trouble falling asleep the last few days, he had taken it upon himself to grab her something his mum recommended. “It’s called sleepy time tea? S’got the cute bear on the box, so it must be decent.” He sat across from her in the break room, sliding the box across the table to her. “My mum used to deal with insomnia and she liked this one a lot. It may not fix everything but it helps make you drowsy.”
The woman glanced down at the tea box, a small smile tugging at her lips as she took in the cute bear illustration. She picked up the box, examining it further to see the ingredients before meeting Harry's gaze. "Your mum has good taste." She remarked, her voice soft but genuinely appreciative. Y/N tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, a gesture Harry was starting to recognize as a sign she was a little flustered. It usually followed something he did for her. "I'll give it a try tonight. Hopefully, it helps me sleep better than counting sheep."
“Mhm.. I hope so too. I don’t mean to keep throwing gifts and stuff at you, but I remembered you saying you were frustrated by it and figured I’d ask someone who’s dealt with that stuff before.” (Harry slept like a log,so he wasn’t much help.) He tapped his fingers against his thigh in a slightly anxious pattern. It wasn’t like he was going crazy- he mainly got her coffee or in this case, tea, but the last thing he wanted to do was make it seem like he was buying her friendship. “Did you submit your part of the project yet?”
"Yeah, finally got that done yesterday," The answer came with a small smile forming as she looked up from the tea box. "I actually managed to get through the presentation without forgetting any bullet points or stuttering this time." Placing the tea carefully in her bag, the corner of her lips curling up a bit more. Fucking adorable. "Thanks for checking in though. Most people don't care about these tiny details." The truth was, she found it sweet when he did. It showed he actually listened to her talking about work stress. "Want to grab lunch later?"
Harry's face lit up at her invitation, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "I'd love that," He accepted easily, his voice warm and sincere. As if he would ever say no to that. "How about we go to that new sushi place down the street? I've been dying to try it out." Leaning back in his chair, he watched as she pulled up the menu on her phone. "My treat, of course. As a thank you for being so patient with me and my... previous behavior."
“Harry, you don’t have to keep making up for it. I believe you. We’re friends.” She sighed, tapping on top of the table. “You can let go of that guilt. Okay? You’ve proven yourself every day to me. As long as you don’t turn around and be a dick for no reason again, I’m fine. Really.”
A small laugh escaped him as he nodded, genuinely grateful for her understanding. It wasn’t something he probably deserved, but she was too good. "Alright, alright. No more guilt trips." He leaned forward on his desk, fingers drumming against the wood. "And I mean it, by the way. I'm truly not trying to buy your friendship with gifts. Though..." he pause. "If I wanted to treat a friend to sushi, would you say no?" The word 'friend' felt strange in his mouth now - almost too casual considering how much time they'd spent together lately.
She gave him a look, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t need you to treat me, H. Really.” It seemed like he did like to do it regardless but he’d be really sweet. As much as she didn’t need the extra things, the coffees or little treats he got her, it did make her feel appreciated- though she didn’t admit it too often because she knew he’d keep doing it.
"I know you don't need me to," he said, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "But I want to. And besides, it's not like I'm buying you a whole new wardrobe or anything." He stood up from his desk, walking around to stand in front of her. "Let me just spoil you a little bit, okay? It makes me happy to do nice things for you." He gave her a small, sincere smile, his eyes searching hers. "Please?"
She sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes but ultimately gave in to his puppy dog eyes. Those things were brutal. "Fine, fine," she conceded, crossing her arms over her chest. "But only because you look pathetic begging like that."
Harry's face lit up with a triumphant grin. "See? Was that so hard?" He chuckled, ruffling her hair slightly before she could swat his hand away. "Alright, sushi it is then. My treat."
—-
Harry found himself more relaxed than usual during their lunch. He’d been dying to try it since he’d seen a review in the paper and there was no one else he’d rather eat with right now. Being around her felt exciting just as much as it was relaxing. She was so calm and sweet, making him feel at ease even though sometimes he felt like he was buzzing when she gave him her attention.
Was this the shit he had been missing out on when he could have just spoken to her without acting out? He’d wasted a lot of time, but she was thankfully far more gracious than he would have expected her to be. They sat across from each other at a small table by the window, the sunlight creating a warm glow around them. The conversation flowed easily, no lulls. Y/N was by far the easiest person to talk to once she warmed up to you, and he was finding out the pleasures of getting closer to her every day. "You know," the man hummed, picking up a piece of sushi with his chopsticks, "the whole office is going to drinks tonight." He paused, studying her face. "Are you planning on..."
"Going?" She finished his question, laughing softly. "Probably. I don't go out much, so when they suggest it, I’ve been trying say yes." She picked up an egg roll, dipping it in soy sauce. "You?" She asked, meeting his gaze. He was struck by how pretty her eyes were, how they almost sparkled when she laughed. It was weird how beautiful she was. How people didn’t put their foot in their mouths like he had whenever he had been around her prior. It was distracting in the best of ways. Damn it, he really liked her.
"Yeah, I'll go," He said, pulling himself together. The last couple of times he had ditched mainly because he had been trying to catch up on some other stuff, but considering he knew for sure Y/N would be there? There was no way he wouldn’t. "The whole marketing team will be there. You too?"
"The whole marketing team," she confirmed, nodding her head. "Including Laura and Tom, who always end up drunk and arguing about whatever anyone wants to bring up." She took a sip of her iced strawberry açaí green tea, a small smile tugging at her lips at the memory of the last office outing where exactly that had happened. "And probably Jennifer from HR, who always tries to get everyone to play truth or dare like we’re still in school. I mean, considering she’s HR she has to know that would be a major violation. Sometimes I think she tries to get it to happen so she has something to do at work considering everything is usually relaxed." Y/N laughed softly, setting her chopsticks down. "Will you be there the whole time? Or will you bow out halfway through?" Sometimes Y/N got a little overstimulated from being out at places like that and she had to leave.
"I usually stay the whole time. You know me, supposed party animal." Harry shrugged his shoulder at the title. She was like a different person when she wasn’t at the office. He was too, obviously, but it felt more dramatic when it came to her. "But actually I… I don’t drink.” His face shifted before he smiled again, though it didn’t fully reach his eyes. “I'm the one who usually calls cabs at the end of the night when everyone is hammered." The words seemed casual enough as he picked up another piece of sushi, but there was something unsaid.
“Oh!” She was somehow a little surprised at that. Something about Harry did give ‘party animal’ but it was mostly his extroverted nature. “I’m glad you still come out then. I can have a drink or two if I feel like it but it’s not really my thing, you know? I’m not a fan of the taste so I go for the fruity or sweet stuff.” She set her chopsticks down to give her tummy a break. The suggestion had been really good, actually. It may as well be added to her take out rotation. “It’s nice of you to do that for them, Har. Really.” She had tried not to pay him much mind in the past but the kindness wasn’t overlooked now.
"It's no big deal," He waved off her compliment, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He always did it without expecting anything in return, but hearing her say it made him feel a little warm inside. He liked that she was noticing these things now. “I um, I used to struggle with alcohol. Drinking too much. It was a nasty habit I picked up in uni and I didn’t realize how bad it was getting.” Clearing his throat, he looked down towards his plate. “S’been 5 years. It doesn’t bother me to see other people drink so it’s fine when I go out. But yeah it’s… S’a interesting dynamic.” He had no idea why he chose now to tell her that. It wasn’t something he ever really talked about at all, but… Y/N felt like a safe person.
"You're the first person at work who knows about that." He admitted quietly, stealing glances at her face to gauge her reaction. He'd spent months being an asshole around her, and now he was trusting her with this? Something vulnerable, genuinely real. Something he usually only shared with close friends or his therapist. "Most people assume I just don't drink because I'm some kind of saint." He managed a small laugh, but it was edged with something more vulnerable. "Though I’d appreciate it if you could keep that between us. I’ll take the party animal jokes over them knowing..."
“Harry, I would never.” She interrupted, reaching for his hand with concern on her face. “First of all, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You realized you had a problem and you did what you needed to do to better your life. That’s fucking amazing!” It was rare to hear her cuss but it felt like an appropriate time. “Addiction can happen to anyone at any time. But I can assure you there is no way in hell that I’d try and tell anyone your business. You trusting me enough to tell me that isn’t lost on me, okay?” Stroking her thumb over the top of his hand, she gave him a little smile.
"Damn." He laughed softly, his shoulders relaxing. He hadn't expected her to get it so quickly. Most people just made recovery sound like something that he should hide, like it was something dirty or shameful. She made it sound like any other condition. "You get it," He said slowly, his voice lower. "Like, really get it. You're not going to make a joke or something?" He wouldn’t have blamed her considering how he had treated her before. But Y/N would never. That was the difference. He had been a bit used to people reacting negatively.
“Nope. No need for jokes.” She didn’t even think about that. “We don’t even have to keep talking about it if you don’t want to. That information is safe with me. I don’t need anything else from it. We can just move on and talk about it another time, okay?” Squeezing his larger hand with her own, all she wanted to do was make him comfortable. They’d have to head back to work soon and she didn't want the conversation to get cut off if they got deeper into it, but she really appreciated him opening up. Never would she have thought that. Then again, even after the last few weeks of getting closer, there was still so much to him that she didn’t know.
Harry nodded, giving her hand a grateful squeeze back before reluctantly letting go as they both stood to throw out their trash. "Thanks." he said softly, meeting her gaze. "Seriously. That means a lot." As they walked back towards the office, he couldn't help but feel a warmth spreading through his chest as their hands brushed each others every so often. She had handled that revelation with such compassion and grace, without any of the judgment he'd feared.
It was yet another reason why he was slowly falling for her, despite his best efforts not to.
———
The usual crowd was filling up the bar - coworkers laughing loudly, ordering rounds of shots. Y/N sat at a high-top table with a few of the infamous marketing team members, sipping her second drink- another Diet Coke, as he had heard her order. Across the table, Laura and Tom were already getting heated in their friendly argument about the rightful winner of the Grammy’s. Meanwhile, Harry leaned against the bar, ordering water for himself and checking his phone occasionally, but mostly keeping an eye on Y/N.
It was hard to keep his eyes off of her at all, especially after she had taken her blazer off and showed her arms in the tank top she’d had underneath it. So distracting, in fact, that he’d barely noticed someone from accounting, a blonde named Michelle he’d talked to a few times, saddled up next to him. "Hey Harry."
Michelle batted her eyelashes at him, ordering herself a vodka cranberry from the bartender before turning her attention back to Harry. "You're looking pretty bored standing here by yourself," She remarked, leaning against the bar next to him. "Why don't you come sit with us?" Her hand gestured towards a group of her friends from accounting, who were laughing and drinking nearby. Harry, however, barely spared her a glance before responding politely, "Nah, I'm good here. Thank you for the offer though."
"Come on, you're usually the life of the party. Don't tell me you're just going to stand here all night." Michelle persisted, adjusting her top slightly. Normally, that kind of fljrting could worked - but the way she had said it put him off. Besides, all Harry could focus on was Y/N laughing with her team members across the room. "Look, I actually need to... Excuse me." He mumbled, excusing himself from Michelle before she could protest. Finding his way back to Y/N, he leaned down to whisper her ear. It was closer than he usually got to her and he tried not to let that get him distracted. “Please help me. Michelle’s been bothering me the last few times n’I really don’t want t’be wrapped up in all of that.”
As he spoke into her ear, Y/N could feel the warmth of his breath against her neck, sending shivers down her back that she quickly ignored. Hopefully he wouldn’t be able to notice any of the chills on her arms. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating up close, the sweetened spice making it hard to focus on the task at hand - helping him avoid Michelle. "Uh sure- What do you need help with?" She asked, turning her head to look up at him, their faces inches apart. He looked so frustrated, and for some reason, seeing him like that made her stomach flutter.
His eyes locked with hers, he saw a flicker of something in her eyes that made his stomach drop - was it just the light, or was she actually looking at him like that? He pushed the thought aside, focusing on his problem. "Can you come t’the bar and lean into me or something?" He asked quietly. "So Michelle gets the hint that I’m not interested?" He needed a buffer, and Y/N being up close to him would probably do the trick. "Please?" He added, using his puppy dog eyes to his advantage.
Y/N obliged, standing up from her seat and following Harry to the bar. As they stood side by side, she leaned into his arm slightly, making it look like they were engaged in a conversation. Michelle, noticing it quite quickly, sauntered back over to the bar, looking miffed. "Harry, can I talk to you for a minute?" She asked, trying to insert herself between them. Harry wrapped his arm around Y/N’s waist lightly, pulling her closer. "Not really the best time. M’in the middle of something.”
Y/N could take a hint, looping her arm around him in turn, leaning her face against his shirt. Giving a light smile, as a response to the woman who seemed weirdly annoyed that a man that had nothing to do with her was so close to another woman. “We’re gonna leave soon, so maybe you guys can talk another day.” It wasn’t exactly catty, but it was an insinuation that they’d be leaving together.
Michelle could put things together and make up her own mind. They could deal with that gossip later.
Michelle's face dropped, clearly not expecting such a casual display of familiarity between them. Harry felt Y/N's head resting on his chest and almost lost his breath for a second - it felt more natural than it should have. Her slight weight against him made his arm circle around her waist more securely, and he tried to focus on maintaining his composure instead of how good she smelled right now. "Yeah..." He said to Michelle, letting the word trail off as if he couldn't even be bothered with her now. "I'll catch you later."
As they stood there, Y/N's hand found its way to his back, her fingers running over the fabric of his blazer and then his dress shirt underneath. It was a simple, casual gesture, but it sent a jolt of warmth through Harry's entire body. He felt like he was melting, his arm around her waist tightening slightly as he tried to subtly pull her closer. Her hand felt so small and warm against his back, and he found himself leaning down slightly to nuzzle his face into her hair, breathing in her scent. “S’this okay with you?” He was double checking for her assurance. “Don’t want you to feel like you have t’make yourself uncomfortable for me.”
Michelle had walked away and Y/N didn’t feel the need to pull away. As nerve wracking as it was, she tried to push them off as she had felt him relax into her. He was sweet, he really was. This was the Harry under all the layers of peacocking and jokes. The type of man she actually really had begun to like. “I’m okay.” Tilting her head up to meet his eyes, she gave him a shy smile. “Are you okay?”
"Yeah. M’great, actually." He responded softly, watching her face. God, she was so pretty. Here she was making his stomach flip with one small smile. "You know what would make this a little more believable?" He asked quietly, his voice lower than before. He was testing the waters, really. He had no idea if she'd go along with this. "If I put my hands here." He demonstrated slowly, spreading his hands over her lower back. “S’that good?”
As his hands found their way to her lower back, Y/N could feel the tingling spreading across her stomach and up her chest. She looked up at him, her eyes wide and searching, trying to gauge his expression. His hands felt big and protective on her back, making her feel small and safe. She didn't pull away, instead, she found herself leaning into his touch slightly. "Yeah, that’s... It’s nice." The reply was whispered, hoping he didn’t catch the slight quiver in her breath.
Harry watched closely as she swallowed hard, her eyes flicking down to his mouth briefly. Truthfully he was an idiot for thinking doing this would have no effect on him - here she was making his body react like he was a teenager again. It hadn’t been thought through- that didn’t mean he would stop, though. His thumbs moved slightly, massaging her lower back lightly. He saw her eyes close softly, almost like she was enjoying it.
Unable to resist the temptation, Harry leaned in closer, his lips barely brushing her ear. "You're doing great," he murmured, his voice a low, soft rumble. He couldn't help but notice how perfectly she fit against him, like she was meant to be there. His hands shifted slightly, pulling her a fraction closer. "Michelle's long gone now, but..." He hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest. "D’you think we pretend for just a little longer?"
"Mhm," she hummed softly. It was hard not to show that she was borderline giddy at the suggestion. Her hand pressed more firmly against his back, hooking her fingers in his belt loops showing she had no plans to move away anytime soon. Instead, she leaned her head to rest back against his chest.
The way her body fit against his was doing things to him - things he shouldn't be thinking about right now. Like about how she smelled so good it was making him feel antsy to inhale her scent.
"How long d'you need?" She asked, her voice soft but steady. A small smile played on her lips as she felt his heartbeat against her ear.
"Just... five more minutes, maybe." He murmured, his voice hoarse. He didn't want to let her go, not yet. Not when she felt this good in his arms. "And then... maybe we could go somewhere quieter? Talk, if you want?" He suggested, his hand slowly sliding up her back and down to her hip. Harry was playing with fire, he knew that, but he couldn't help himself. Not when she was being so sweet, so willing to do this with him.
“Yeah. You can drive me back to my place. Or yours.” It was a decision in a while that she was going to let him read into however he wanted. Y/N was welcoming any bit of what could happen. If it was to truly talk somewhere else, or… more. She would be open to it.
The words had him almost losing his breath, his body tightening slightly. He wasn’t sure what he’d imagined her response to be, but it certainly hadn't expected her to suggest that. "So if I said... let me take you home to mine' - you wouldn't have a problem with that?" He asked slowly, his thumbs moving back and forth on Harry lower back possessively. He was trying to read between the lines. Was she being friendly, or was she being flirtatious? Christ, he hoped it was the latter.
“No. No problem with that.” In any other circumstances, she’d be embarrassed with how breathy her voice sounded as she replied to him. His voice was deep and soft just for her, making her feel the heat pooling in her tummy. “You can take me home, Harry.”
His pulse quickened, hope surging through him at her breathy confirmation. He swallowed hard, letting it hit him with how much he wanted this. Wanted her. "Alright then," the answer was spoken, his voice thick with restrained desire. "Let's get out of here."
———-
The drive to his place was silent but tense, filled with unspoken words and heavy glances. As soon as they pulled into his driveway, Harry turned off the engine and looked at Y/N, his eyes searching hers for any bit of apprehension- but he found none. She seemed at peace, if not a little bit happy about the situation, and he wasn’t about to waste any time. Getting out of the car, he walked around to her side, and opened her door for her - a gentlemanly habit he'd picked up and kept up. He led the way to his house, unlocking the door and stepping inside, closing it behind them.
“Did you really want to talk?” Y/N asked, peering up at him from her lashes as she took a step towards him. The foyer of his house was dimly lit, but she could see how intently he was staring at her. “Or did you bring me home to do something else?”
"I had some things I wanted to say, yeah." he admitted quietly, his voice deeper than she had heard it before, similar to how he’d spoken at the bar. There was an edge to it, one that made her feel… exhilarated. "But right now..." His hand found her waist naturally, pulling her into him. "I think there's something else I want more." He paused, his thumb moving in small circles on her hip.
“Yeah?” She whispered back, allowing herself to lean into him. “And what is that?”
"You." The words whispered were cut off before she could respond, pressing his lips against hers in a soft, gentle kiss. It started slow, almost questioning- as if he was waiting for her to pull away. Giving her the chance to do so. But when she didn't, when she leaned into it instead, his free arm snaked around her to pull her even closer. The kiss deepened, becoming a little more desperate as he felt her against him. His fingers tightened on her hip, his other hand coming up to cup her cheek, tilting her head slightly to kiss her more thoroughly.
Y/N melted into him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she kissed him back just as needy. A small noise escaped the back of her throat, one that he swallowed with his mouth greedily. Her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging slightly as she felt him groan against her lips.
Her fingers in his hair made him feel like he may lose it a little bit. Everything about Y/N called to him, but her knowing what to do without ever being told spurred him on further. Deepening the kiss further, he traced her bottom lip with his tongue and bit back a second groan at what he found. She tasted fucking perfect - sweet and subtle, like honey and peppermint, a tiny hint of her sticky soda from the bar. His own personal new favorite flavor.
One hand slid down her back to palm over her ass while the other cradled her face, keeping her exactly where he wanted her, practicing that control he liked to keep. He could feel her heart racing against his chest, matching his own heartbeat- But when she let out the soft whimper against his lips as it seemed like he may pull back, pressing herself closer against him instead? Harry thought he might lose his mind.
Harry pushed her carefully backwards, taking her with him until she hit the wall. Breaking the kiss, he started to trail his lips down her neck, sucking and nipping gently at her wherever he could reach. "You taste so sweet." He murmured against her skin. "I want t’kiss you everywhere." It punctuated his words with a particularly hard suck on her neck, knowing it would leave a mark- wanting it to leave one- as his hips pressed against hers, letting her feel exactly what she was doing to him.
She gasped, head tilting back to give him better access. Hands fisted in his shirt, she tugged him closer as she felt the hard evidence of his arousal press against her stomach. "Harry," she whimpered, voice shaky. "Bite me." The words were out before she could even think about them, a demand rather than a request. She wanted his mark, wanted evidence that this really happened. Even if it was just for tonight- though she wanted more than just once. “Please? Jus’ a little bit. I want to feel your teeth on my neck.” Her hips rocked forward slightly, seeking friction.
The growl that rumbled in his chest at her words was primal, sending a shiver through her body. "Fuck, you're perfect." Harry murmured before grazing his teeth against her sensitive skin and sinking them into the juncture of her neck and shoulder. He bit down hard, not with the goal of breaking the skin but applying enough pressure that she would definitely have a mark in the morning- just as she requested.
She cried out, arching her back to give him more access as he bit down. He could feel her nails digging into his back through his shirt, pulling him closer as if she was afraid he might stop. "More." Y/N begged, panting heavily. "Harder." What she wanted was the ache, wanted the reminder on her skin that he was really here, really doing this. "Harry, please..." She whimpered, turning her head to try and pull him into biting her again. "Again."
“I’ve got t’be careful, sweetheart.” He cooed against her skin, nipping underneath the mark he had left. “Do you like the pain, hm? Or do you like the marks?”
Y/N moaned, trying to tilt her head further to give him better access to her neck. "Both," she breathed out shakily, her body tensing as he nipped underneath the mark. "I like the pain because it hurts so good, and I like the marks because they remind me... they remind me you were really here, doing this, not just in my head." She was rambling, but she couldn't seem to shut up as he kept marking her up. "Can you give me another one?"
"Yeah, sweetheart, you can have another one." He crooned, biting down on the same spot on the other side, applying a little more pressure this time. There was doubt in his mind that he could really say no to her, not when she asked him with that tone, those eyes, and the taste of her on his tongue. He could feel her trembling against him, hear the desperate whimpering sounds she was making. He loved it, loved how responsive she was to him, how easily he could reduce her to a shaking mess.
"Fuck, look at you..." He murmured, pulling back slightly to admire his handiwork. Sure enough, there were two perfect bite marks on either side of her neck. She looked claimed, marked - and Christ, it turned him on more than anything else. Before she could react, he grabbed her chin, tilting her face up for another kiss. This one was rougher, more urgent than before, his tongue plunging into her mouth. One hand slid down her waist while the other tangled in her hair.
His fingers gripped her hair taut, holding her in place as he kissed her like he was starving for it, for her. His other hand squeezed her ass almost too tightly as he ground himself against her, conveying his mounting desperation without words. Each nip and suck at her lips sent jolts straight to his cock, making him impossibly harder, if that was even possible. He swallowed every whimper and moan greedily, addicted to her sounds.
"Fuck, darling." Harry whispered against her lips as he pulled back to let her breath. His hand slipped into her trousers to get a better handful of her, feeling her hum at the intrusion. All he needed was her warmth, the feel of her on his skin. He could die happy like that, most likely.
Letting his fingers play with the edge of her panties, he knew he was in some sort of dream. After months of crushing on her, even when he had been failing, he’d dreamt of this. "You're killing me here." His breathing became heavier as he squeezed the soft flesh of her ass, pulling her harder against him. One hand kept her hair tight while the other dipped lower, almost slipping beneath the fabric but pausing uncertainly. "Can I..." he trailed off, waiting for her permission before actually sliding beneath, his voice rough with need. "Can I touch you, baby?"
Y/N let out a shaky breath, nodding almost frantically against his lips. "Yes, please." The reply was a shaking whisper, her heart racing wildly like a little hummingbird. "I want your hands on me, Harry. Anywhere, everywhere." She was so turned on, so desperate for his touch that she couldn't even think straight. His hesitation had only added to her desire, making her want him even more. "Just... please, touch me," she begged, her hips rolling against his in encouragement. "I need it."
"God, you're killing me." He growled softly, picking her up easily by her thighs. Realistically, he had been waiting for this day for ages and he wasn’t going to take her in his foyer- regardless of how badly he was tempted to. Y/N deserved a proper fuck, which included being in his bed. Somewhere she was meant to be. Hopefully one day they’d do it out here, but today was not that day.
Thankfully there was no protest from his little dove, her legs wrapping around him automatically as he lifted her up, allowing him to walk them towards his bedroom without breaking the kiss. He couldn't get enough of her lips, her taste, anything that had to do with her. Greedy, he was so fucking greedy for anything he could get from her.
Kicking his door open, he wasted little time dropping her onto his mattress softly, listening to her sweet giggle as she bounced on it. Watching hungrily as her shirt rode up slightly, the deposits of her body revealing more of her stomach. "Off." He ordered softly, unbuttoning his own shirt slowly. "Take your top off." Harry wanted it off. He needed to see her.
She sat up slightly, unbuttoning her blouse slowly, revealing the plain white camisole underneath that had been a layer under the sleeveless top. His eyes were locked onto her hands, watching intently as she revealed more and more of her silky skin. "Now the cami." He urged, his voice dropping lower as he unbuckled his belt, his mind desperate to see the heaven underneath. His unbuttoned shirt tossed haphazardly onto the floor, revealing his tattooed torso. "I want it all off, sweetheart. Don’t want a lick of fabric between you and my hands."
Her hands moved slowly, deliberately, savoring the attention. She lifted the bottom of her camisole, slowly letting it peel off of her body to reveal her bare chest. Her breath hitched as she looked up at Harry, seeing that intensity in his eyes. He was staring at her like she was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen, and it made her feel powerful, desired. Never in her life had she imagined that Harry of all people would be the one to make her feel that way. She let the man stare as he pleased, letting her hair fall off her shoulders from where she had it up as she sat there, completely bare from the waist up.
“Fuck me.” He groaned, hands itching to touch. Holy shit. He had almost lost it. Her body was insane - full breasts with pretty nipples that hardened under his gaze. He had the urge to taste them, suck on them until she let out the pretty noises he’d gotten hints of - but he didn't move. Harry wanted to see all of her first. "Off, all of it. Told you. Need t’see all of you." He ordered again softly, his voice hoarse with restraint. He watched as she shimmied out of her pants slowly, revealing black lace panties underneath. "Baby," His voice was slightly breathless as she kicked the fabric off, letting it fall in a pile beside his bed. "I think… that you're trying to kill me."
The sight of Y/N naked in his bed almost knocked the breath clean out of him. Here was this incredibly sexy woman, somebody he'd fantasized about for months, laid out before him like a goddamn dream. The soft curves of her body, the smooth planes of her skin, those pretty tits moving in time with her slightly labored breath—it was almost too much. His cock was rock hard, straining against his zipper, aching to be buried inside her. “You are the most gorgeous little thing.” He murmured, undoing the button of his trousers as he stepped closer to her form. “I knew you would look good in my bed, but fucks sake, Kitten.” He reached for her face, tilting her chin up. “Think you were made t’be here.”
As he reached for her face Y/N shifted her mouth, catching his thumb between her soft lips and sucking on it gently. The feeling of her mouth wrapped around his thumb, the subtle tug as she sucked, was incredibly intimate and distracting. Harry's eyes rolled back slightly, a low groan escaping his throat as he stared down at her.
As Y/N sucked his thumb with increasing pressure, her other hand deftly moved to his zipper, tugging it down slowly. The sensation of her hot mouth contrasted deliciously with the cool air hitting his exposed skin. He couldn't help but shudder, his hips rocking involuntarily as his aching erection sprang free. "Holy fuck." he gasped, watching her through hooded eyes. She maintained eye contact, her tongue swirling around his thumb teasingly as her fingers brushed lightly over his straining cock.
He wanted those full lips wrapped around him so badly he ached. He wanted to feel her warm breath against his stomach, the gentle suction around the tip of his cock, the way she looked up at him with those big eyes. "Enough of my thumb. We both know what it is y’really want." He growled, his voice thick as he gently pulled her thumb out of her mouth, smearing her lipstick with the saliva coating his digit as he dragged it over her lip.
"Think it’s time for you to wrap those pretty lips around something else now." Letting his trousers fall to the floor along with his briefs in one go was exactly what he needed. Hissing slightly, he grabbed his painfully hard dick in his hand and swiped the leaking slit with his spit and lipstick coated thumb, watching her eyes as they took in every motion. “See what you did t’me? Been doin’ this to me for ages, sweet girl.” He mumbled, guiding his cock towards her swollen lips. "Do you want to suck on it
like you were sucking my thumb?"
Y/N looked up at him with those big, doe eyes, her lipstick slightly smudged from the drag of his thumb. She could feel the warm, heavy weight of him in her hand as she wrapped her fingers around his base tentatively. She could already taste the saltiness on her thumb where she had swiped the bead of moisture from his tip. "Can I?" she whispered, parting her lips slightly, inviting him in. "Like this?"
"Fuck yes," he breathed out intensely, watching as those perfect lips parted. His hand moved to the back of her head gently, not pushing, but guiding. "Just like that. Nice n’slow for me." He wanted to savor the moment she took him in for the first time, make sure it felt good for both of them. Her small hand wrapped around his base felt amazing, but he needed more.
Y/N stuck her tongue out slightly, swiping over the tip of his length. He watched hungrily as she gathered the bead of liquid there, tasting him carefully. "Mhm," she hummed softly, wrapping her lips around her teeth to hide her smile. It wasn’t something he had expected but he found it incredibly sexy - she was savoring his taste. Her pink tongue peeked out again, licking over the head like a sweet, swirling around the sensitive underside. Surely it was something he should have expected, but it made him shiver slightly, his hips jerking involuntarily. “Shit. You’re a sweet little thing everywhere, aren’t you darlin’?”
His dirty words made her stomach flutter and her core clench. She liked them too much, especially when they were laced with that deep voice. She dragged the flat of her tongue slowly down his length from base to tip. Taking her time with him was exactly what she wanted. Weeks of getting to know each other, the quiet attraction building until it was too loud to ignore, this had been on her mind more than she could admit yet. His stomach contracted sharply as she did it again slowly, watching him through her lashes. Y/N was putting on a show.
The woman wanted to drive him crazy, wanted him to bend to her and feel as much as she had.
Harry was losing his mind. His hips were rocking gently, trying to encourage her down further each time she swiped her tongue down. She was torturing him slowly, deliberately - he could see the mischievous glint in her eye behind her lashes. He could feel his orgasm beginning to roll over just from her tongue lathing over him - but she hadn’t even taken him in her mouth yet. "Tease." The groan was loaded as he scraped her hair into his hand, pulling her back up to the tip. “C’mon, sweetheart. Suck on me a bit. Rub your little clit while y’do it. Get yourself wet f’me.”
She let out a shaky breath at his command, slipping one hand between her legs. Her fingers found her clit easily, already swollen and sensitive from all the teasing and tension they had between them. While she circled herself slowly, she opened her mouth wider, letting the tip of his length slide between her lips. Moaning softly, vibrations pulsing around him as she slowly worked herself with her fingers.
She was beautiful - eyes closed, lipstick smudged, fingers busy between her legs while she took his cock into that perfect mouth.
Harry knew she was getting wetter just from the sounds she was making around his length as she suckled gently, her fingers busily rubbing herself beneath his watchful eye. The slick sounds of her cunt against fingers, he knew she had to be dripping for him. He wanted to be inside that cunt so badly it hurt, but watching her pleasure herself while she took him into her perfect lips slowly was a blessing he had never anticipated getting the honor of experiencing. The feel of her soft, hot little mouth wrapped up around him, a sensation he had been gagging for. "Deeper, kitten. Y’can take some more while you rub that clit, yeah?” He encouraged hoarsely, his hand carding through her hair.
Y/N hummed around him, taking him deeper. His tip hit the back of her throat and she swallowed slightly around him, making him hiss sharply as she gagged a little. “Shit, baby. Are you alright?” His hand held her cheek, wiping the tear that had spilled accidentally from her gagging. “Didn’t mean t’do that. M’sorry, precious.”
“I’m okay. Just didn’t anticipate it.” She reassured him, pulling back slightly to catch her breath. A devastatingly beautiful and filthy smile was painted on her slightly swollen lips before she pursed them, wetting him with her saliva and taking him back in. Mindful of his size, she relaxed her jaw and her throat as much as she could, letting him slide further back. Her fingers moved faster between her legs, swirling around her sensitive pearl.
“Yeah, that’s it. Fuck your fingers, Kitten. Get yourself open a bit for me. Need to be in that cunt soon.” He pleaded, eyes rolling back as his tip hit the back of her throat. The noise she let out was filthy, downright nasty, but she didn’t attempt to pull back. She stayed there with her throat spasming around his cock, breathing heavily through her nose. “Oh, for fucks sake… my girl.” He muttered in awe, mouth hanging open. “Should’ve known y’would be a filthy fuck. So quiet and sweet… Read all those dirty books, don’t you?”
"Mhm..." Y/N hummed around him intentionally, pulling back slowly before taking him deep again. Her fingers moved faster, sliding inside herself, stretching herself ready for him. He was big and she knew it was good to get herself ready, but part of her wanted to feel the stretch. She pulled back completely, leaving a trail of saliva along his shaft. “But you like that I’m dirty.”
"I fucking love it." He groaned, feeling his dick pulse as it hit the back of her throat one last time. At this rate he’d be spilling in her mouth sooner rather than later, but they both needed more than that. "Love that you're so quiet and sweet on the outside but a whole different person on the inside." He pulled her head back further, his cock slipping out of her mouth with a wet pop. "Now, get on the bed and spread those legs for me. Need to see that cunt before I fuck it." He demanded, his voice rough as the words tumbled out. "Want you to show me how wet you are for me, sweetheart." His voice was rough, heavy with lust as he gripped his dick in his hand and stroked it using her spit as he watched her get up back onto his bed, laying back in the duvet. "Spread those thighs nice n’wide. Want to see if you're ready for my cock." Harry wanted to taste her pussy, wanted to watch her fingers disappear inside that tight hole.
He wanted to devour her.
Y/N listened, throwing one leg over the other slowly, spreading herself open for him just as he asked. Using two fingers, she circled her clit slowly, letting her head fall back slightly with a small moan. He watched every movement, feeling himself pulse in his hand as she slid two fingers inside herself easily, working herself open with a muffled whimper. His mouth watered - she was wet, so fucking wet and all for him. There was no way in hell that he was going to be inside of her and not keep her. None.
His jaw tightened as she added another finger, stretching herself wider. The view was his favorite, watching her free hand knead her tits and arching her back as she fucked those fingers in- the lewd sound of her wet cunt making him swallow back his groan. Holy shit.
Her fingers slipped out with a wet sound and she brought them to her lips, sucking her arousal off with a needy whimper. "Please, Harry. Fuck me already." She begged, her hips lifting off the bed restlessly. "Been waiting for this for so long. Need your cock." Her head tilted back and she licked her lips, staring up at him with fuck-me eyes. "Stop teasing and just fuck me already." The desperation in her voice was clear, pussy throbbing and empty, craving him.
It wasn’t at all something anyone would expect from her, let alone Harry. She was so quiet at work, kept to herself, gave her shy little smiles- and here she was. Laying on his comforter, thighs spread as she exposed her cunt to him with the taste of herself on her own tongue, begging for his cock. It was a very quick lesson he was learning- when Y/N asked him for something, he was most likely going to give it to her.
"You're a little minx, Y’know that?" He growled, running his cock through the mess she’d made of herself before lining himself up with her entrance. "This isn't going t’be slow or sweet, sweetheart. We’ll have to save that for another time. You want me t’fuck you?" Pressing the head into her hole, he watched as her back arched off the bed ever so slightly with her hand reaching for his wrist. “S’alright, baby.” Harry softened his tone.” M’just teasing. I’m giving it to you. Just lay there and look pretty. I’ll take care of the rest.”
Pushing forward slowly, he let himself fill her inch by inch. Finally. Feeling the spasms of her cunt as he rocked his hips in, getting nice and snug as he got all the way inside of her, he couldn’t deny himself the moan that left his lips. The heaven that was her cunt wrapped around him had his body feeling hot, each roll of his body feeling her tighten up around him.
"Baby, fuck." He hissed as she wiggled slightly beneath him, her inner muscles clamping down around him experimentally. "Stop that. Don’t want t’cum too quickly." He warned hoarsely, watching her body as he filled her up. The stretch of her pussy around the girth of his cock, lips clinging to him as he pulled out and pushed back in was fucking lethal. There had been effort to slowly work her up to it, but he needed to fuck her harder. Wanted to hear the little gasps and moans coming from her beautiful mouth. "Goddamn. You're tight, baby, So fuckin’ good." He grit his teeth as she flexed again, his hips bucking forward suddenly, watching her tits bounce slightly with the force.
He kept snapping his hips forward, filling her up over and over again, the wet sounds of her taking him filling the room. Y/N’s legs wrapped around his waist as she tried to pull him deeper, her nails clawing at his chest as she whimpered and whined beneath him, breathing heavily as Harry talked lowly to her. "You like it rough, sweetheart. Can feel it. Got you dripping on this cock…" He growled, his hands going to her thighs and pushing them up and back, opening her up wider as he drove into her again and again. "Like being manhandled, bitten… what else?"
"Yes... yes, just like that- I like all of it." She gasped, her voice breaking slightly as he nailed particularly deep. He was definitely the biggest of the dicks she had ever taken and while she had thought it would be a struggle to fit it, Harry hadn’t hesitated in making her take it in the way she needed. Making her feel this full was a rarity and she wanted to feel it tomorrow, feel it everyday. The memory of his cock deep inside of her and his hands gripping her tight needed to be refreshed often and plenty.
"Harder. I can take it, I promise." She whimpered, her nails digging into his arms, leaving crescent marks. Her hips met his thrusts eagerly, showing she was taking exactly what she wanted. "Talk to me. Love your voice so much." The girl breathed out, her face flushed with the pleasure he was so willing to give her. "Tell me how good I feel."
"You're taking it so well, baby." He cooed, angling his hips differently and hitting a spot inside her so perfectly she let out a choked noise. "Your little cunt is squeezing me so goddamn tight, like it's trying to milk every drop of cum from me." If she wanted dirty, he’d give her dirty. His filthy words echoed in the room as he kept fucked into her, watching her tits bounce before meeting her eyes.
"Bet you'd let me fuck this needy hole anytime I wanted, hm?” Hooking her thighs over his arms, he looked down to watch her cunt swallowing him up. It was unreal to see it in person, in real time. It wasn’t just a dream. Y/N was in his bed, taking him inside of her- and she was loving it. “Bend y’over your own desk, turn the lights off and shove those scraps do fabric y’call panties into your mouth to keep you quiet. No one would bother us, think you’ve got a headache but… You’d really be taking my cock.”
It was absolutely something she had thought about, especially the last week. Y/N had her own fantasies and he had plucked that one from her head and spoke it out loud. If she wasn’t getting railed it would probably freak her out, how he had somehow read her mind- but it felt too good to think about anything but him inside of her. "You’d really do that? Fuck me on my desk?" She panted, her fingers playing with her hard nipples as he watched. “You said I-I’m the filthy one but you’re just as…just as bad.”
"You’re not answering my question." He chuckled darkly, snapping his hips up sharply and stealing her breath. "If I lifted that skirt up and bent you over your desk… Sunk my cock in this pretty hole. Would you take it?" He growled deceptively soft, his voice getting deeper. "Spread your legs wide, like you’re doing for me right now, and let me pound you while you keep quiet… Make you drip with my cum all damn day? S’that something my pretty little kitten wants t’do for me?" He knew he was dirty, knew he was an asshole - but the mental image of doing exactly what he described had him leaking inside of her.
She threw her head back slightly with a small moan, "Yes, god yes..." She whimpered softly, her mind going crazy with the thought. "You could shove your hand over my mouth while you do it..." Her body tightened around him as the fantasy felt more real. He’d been so polite their whole newfound friendship. Maybe a dirty joke or two to make her roll her eyes. Y/N knew he could be dirty, had a feeling he could fuck, but having it in real life was so different than she had imagined. It was better. "You could pull my hair while you pound me from behind... You could..." She broke off with a gasp as he hit something deep inside her that had her seeing stars.
“I could what, baby?” He crooned, feeling the droplet of sweat slowly drip down the side of his face. This was by far better than any workout he’d had recently. His workout of choice, if he had one. The poor comforter was a goner and he knew it, but there was little care about anything other than getting her to cum around his cock. “S’getting hard to talk now, mm? Taking that cock so deep… Thinking about all those filthy things. M’gonna make sure you get fucked at your desk- Gonna make sure you get whatever fuck you want. But I want to feel you cum for me.” Lowering herself, he adjusted so her legs could wrap back around his hips as he got close to her face. “You‘re so good for me. Sweetest fuckin’ pussy I’ve ever felt.” That was no lie. “Been dying to get my hands on you since the very first day, and now m’not going to take them off.”
"Harry..." She whined softly, her body feeling hot and sweaty. Her thighs were slick with her juices mixed with his spit - he had spread them open and spat right onto her hole before pushing back inside. Y/N was getting close, just like he wanted. He had her legs spread wide again, watching every snap of his hips and how her pussy swallowed him. His deep voice was making her brain mushy. "Kiss me- Please?" She whimpered, dragging her nails up his back to hold the hair at his nape.
"Anything you want, baby." His lips crashed down onto hers, swallowing her whimper as he continued pounding into her. The kiss wasn't sweet or gentle - it was hungry and demanding, reflecting exactly how he was fucking her. Having her where he’d wanted her was borderline overwhelming. Finally having her, being able to taste her, feel her everywhere… That was a dream. Y/N was the dream.
His tongue pushed into her mouth as he hit that perfect spot inside her again and again, pulling back to coax her into it. "C’mon baby. Can feel you so close t’cumming... you're right there.” The croon was heavy against her lips, feeling how she was moving against him, how she clenched around him. It was everything he’d needed. “Gonna fill this dirty little cunt of yours..." His hand moved between them and found her clit, pressing down firmly as he swiped in circles. “S’that okay, baby? Can I fill this pussy up?” His voice broke slightly, kissing her over and over between the words.
She kissed him back frantically, her arms wrapping around his neck as she squirmed with him rubbing her clit. It was too much, his dick hitting that spot, his fingers on her clit, the deep rasp of his voice as he asked if he could fill her up. It was a wet dream, but she knew she wasn’t asleep with how full she felt. Their bodies were damp with sweat, her thighs and his shaft covered in her slick, the throb she felt between her legs- there was no way any dream could make her feel this good.
"Yes, yes, yes- give it to me. Give it all to me- you’re making me cum." She cried out against his mouth, her body seizing up as her orgasm hit her hard. “Oh my god, m’cumming. I’m cumming, you’re making me cum-“ The frantic words were cut off with a high pitched whine. Her cunt clamped down on his cock as she came, the wet sounds of him fucking her through her orgasm filling the room. "Har- fuck." The garbled moan escaped her as she took it, her nails digging into the back of his neck.
"Good girl, baby…" He praised softly, his voice muffled against her mouth as he kept pounding into her convulsing cunt. "You took it so well… Knew you would, my beautiful fuckin’ girl. Been waiting so long to have you, needed you since I met you." He moaned back, his hot breath washing over her face as he kept his cock filling her, in and out, getting her full over and over. “Soaking that cock… Don’t think I can last.” The feel of how slippery and hot her cunt was, feeling her trying to suck him in deeper, it was too much. He couldn’t hold on much longer.
"Cum inside me, please..." She begged softly, a cooed whisper as she felt him still fucking into her. Sensitivity made her shiver but she didn’t want it to stop- it oddly enough felt good, the little twitches of pleasure. "Fill me up, Harry. I want it all... I want you to cum so bad." She wrapped her arms tighter around him, holding him close as she felt him start to shake. "Give it to me. Let go... I’ve got you."
"You’re gonna fuckin’ kill me." His voice was thick with need, the way she held him close being the final straw. It was unlike what he’d experienced before. Being held that way, coaxed, her soft lips pressing against his sticky skin as she got them as close as possible, it was a new level of intimate he’d never expected from a first time with someone- but it was Y/N. Everything about her was soft and silky, comfort. The sweetest girl with his bite marks on her throat and her legs wrapped tight around his hips, pulling him in deep.
"Fuck... I'm cumming baby" He groaned thickly, burying himself to the hilt as hot streams of his load filled her. The pleasure nearly made him feel delirious. Heart beating out of his chest, hand curled up in the comforter as his body stayed as close to her as possible. "Oh fuck.” He slurred, grinding into her. “Feel that? Feel my cum flooding your pussy, sweet girl?" The pulses of his cock as he finished made her whine, eyes fluttering as she sought out his mouth to kiss. When his hips stilled, he made sure to keep himself deep, wanting every drop inside her. "S'alright if this is my new favorite place to cum... between those pretty thighs?"
He nuzzled his face into her neck, breathing her in as she nodded with a tired giggle. She was wrapped around him completely, like a vine, running her fingers up and down his spine and her lips finding him when he pulled up from her neck. He let out a happy sound as she pressed kisses to his face before he caught her lips again, humming against them. His body was heavy on top of hers, his softening length still nestled deep inside her warmth. His kisses were gentle and slow, his hands carding through her hair as he held her face close to his, needing to feel her breath against his face. "Love how you smell… like that peppermint tea y’always drink… and me." He murmured softly against her lips.
She released a soft giggle against his lips, feeling the ticklish slide of his stubble against her cheek. "Now you smell like me too, big guy." Her fingers played with the short hairs at the nape of his neck as she gazed up at him, wrapped around him like a koala. “But you said some stuff…” She raised an eyebrow as he pulled his face back to look at her. “You had a big crush on me?” Her tone was teasing, a little giddy from the knowledge. “You told me that before but it hits different when you’re balls deep.”
He groaned softly, shaking his head at her teasing as he rolled his hips lazily, feeling how her walls clenched around him. "Smartass." Though he grumbled, there was a fond smile tugging at his mouth. "Yeah well, you had me chasing you for months, sweetheart. Little did you know, every time you told me to go away or that I was being obnoxious, my brain was a constant loop of 'fuck, she's gorgeous.'" He tapped her nose playfully. "So yeah, I had a crush. Have one. But m’not gonna ask you to be my girlfriend properly in this way so… Just know you’re mine, and m’gonna ask you in a far more romantic way for the proper title."
Y/n giggled again, feeling completely giddy and light - post-sex afterglow mixed with knowing he'd pined after her for so long. "Is it weird that you being such a weirdo turns me on?" She admitted with a laugh, running her fingers through his damp hair again. “You better ask properly...That’s what I deserve." The tone was playful, but there was a dreamy look in her eyes as she thought about what romantic Harry might be like. The woman had vast knowledge of annoying Harry, Office Harry, and Friend Harry… but boyfriend Harry? Well, that made her giddy to think about. "If you ask nicely..." The hum was soft as she lightly pinched his cheek. “I may just say yes.”
“That’s my goal, cause I’m already planning on it.” That had always been his goal, even if he had completely fucked it up and had to start from scratch. Building them up was worth it, though. Having her so close, hearing her giggles, feeling her body warmth? All of that was priceless. “Gonna stock up on all your headache stuff here, too. Make sure you’ve got a stash. Have to make sure you’re taken care of always…” His lips split into another grin. “Even if I’m the cause of your headache.”
#jarofstyles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#Harry styles au#harry smut#Harry fluff#Harry angst#harry fanfic#harry styles fanfics#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfictions#harry styles one shots#harry styles book
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Run, baby, run



Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader (romantic)
Summary: Finding a moment of peace away from the chaos of superhero life isn't easy, but with a little help, you can carve out time for a romantic retreat in a secluded cabin in the woods. What begins as a lighthearted chase soon transforms into an exhilarating game of predator and prey, sparking intense passion and desire between two lovers.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. sexual themes, smut, Reader has a cock, predator x prey, cunnilingus, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, edging, name calling, praise, passing out, aftercare.
REQUEST: YES
A/N: I'm sorry if anything is spelled incorrectly, but English is not my first language. I apologize in advance for my grammar and spelling. If you have any request (read this first), I will try and write them.
Taglist
She had been running for what seemed like hours. She didn’t know where she was going, she didn’t know the route she had taken, and she didn’t know where she would end up. The forest she was in seemed endless. There was no stream to orient herself by, and the treetops were too thick to see the stars. She could hear her labored breathing, her quick steps, the owls hooting in the trees. But most of all, she could hear whoever was behind her and chasing her getting closer and closer.
Their footsteps were heavier than hers, but their breathing matched hers. She could tell that whoever was following her was taller and more muscular, but not more agile since she heard them trip over some fallen tree branches. She also knew that they were far behind her and that this gave her an advantage. And so she did the only thing she could think of. She hid behind a massive rock after jumping off its top.
She held her breath, trying to stay as quiet as possible, but she jumped as soon as she saw the figure dart over her head, then rolled on the ground to cushion the jump and immediately resumed running. She was right, actually. Even from a distance they looked about four inches taller than her and decidedly more muscular. She breathed a sigh of relief and, once she was sure they were far enough away, she stood up and began to run at a moderate pace towards where she thought the exit of the maze of trees she was in was.
But after walking a few meters, she started to feel like she was being watched. She turned in every possible direction, but there was no one but her. She started walking again, the feeling of being watched always with her, but she turned again when she heard a twig snap behind her. After not seeing anything or anyone, she prepared to start again but this time, when she turned, she found your muscular figure in front of her. “Boo” you muttered, a smile plastered on your face and your arms that wrapped around her hips.
“Are you running away from me, pretty girl?” you asked, backing her up against a tree trunk. “Why are you running, baby girl? You know I’ll always catch you.”
And with that you kissed her, hard. Her back against the tree made your body pressed against hers, making her feel your hard cock against her belly. Her hands flew into your hair, pulling you closer. You moaned into her mouth, enjoying her hands on your head, and she smiled slightly into the kiss.
Your violent kisses ran down her jaw and neck, pulling her skin with your teeth. She moaned in pleasure and pain, without letting out a gasp first. She could feel her arousal dampening her panties, yet she remembered that this person in front of her was the one who not even ten minutes ago was chasing her through the same woods where she was about to be fucked.
Your hands traveled to her breasts to feel one of her spheres through the shirt she was wearing. Being the impatient person you were, you quickly shrugged off the piece of clothing, ripping it in half. There, you were met with her bare tits, no bra covering them. You smirked, easier access for you.
You lowered your head to take one of her nipples into your mouth, licking it until you felt it harden under your tongue, your other hand still busy groping her other tit. You then switched sides, repeating the same movements and giving the same attention to both of her tits. Her back arched, pleasure coursing through her. Her hands still in your hair to hold you closer to her chest and instigating you not to stop. She laughed briefly feeling you play with her nipples, but immediately moaned when you bit one of them.
You both watched your fingers slide along her skin, down past her belly button, and stop above her pelvis. You looked into her eyes as you slowly knelt in front of her. You pulled down her leggings, but left her panties on. With a smirk, you moved them to the side and slid your hand to her pelvis between her legs. You caressed her folds, parting them slightly so you could see her arousal before sliding your fingers inside her.
She moaned and leaned her head against the tree trunk, completely surrendering to the feeling of your fingers inside her. She let your hands and fingers explore her body, both inside and out and in all the ways you wanted.
“God, you look beautiful even from down here,” you murmured, starting to slowly move your fingers inside her. She groaned at the sound of your voice, so low, husky and sexy, full of your desire for her body. Simultaneously, your mouth began to leave hot kisses everywhere it could reach: her thighs, her belly, her pelvis, until you lightly kissed her clit.
She gripped your hair in her hands as your lips touched her hot clit and whined. Her hips began to move back and forth on your fingers. “That’s it. Ride my fingers like the good girl you are. My good girl.” You pinned her hips against the tree so you could slide your fingers deeper into her. You started slow and gentle until you built up to a force and speed that rivaled – not really – your cock. “Good, just like that. You’re doing great.”
Your tongue laid flat against her clit, her eyes rolled and her mouth made sounds sweeter than honey. Her entire body jolted with pleasure as your tongue flicked at her bundle of nerves. Your fingers slowed, making her whine, but the movements of your tongue made her hips buckle, your hand on them the only reason she didn’t fall to the floor.
Her moans grew louder, louder, her body shaking with pleasure and the need to come, as you brought her closer and closer to the climax. As you continued to tease her, she moaned in frustration and writhed beneath you. With each passing second, her need for release grew stronger and stronger due to denial. You took your time, pleasuring her until she was begging for more.
“Please, let me come. I beg you,” she pleaded, her eyes locked on yours, her green ones filled with desperation.
You quickly removed your tongue from her slit and stood up, now much taller than her, but your fingers never stopped moving inside her. “I’ll tell you what,” you whispered in her ear. “I’m going to let you go now. You’re going to start running in that direction again, until you see a cabin. I’ll give you a twenty-second head start before I start chasing you,” you removed your fingers from inside her, drawing out a whine from her throat. “If I catch you before you get to the cabin, I’ll fuck you until you pass out and it’s up to me whether or not I make you come. If you get to the cabin and I can’t catch you…” you gently kissed up her neck, until you reached her cheek. “…when I fuck you, you can come as many times as you want,” you concluded, placing your sweatshirt on her shoulders and lifting her pants, to cover her nakedness.
As soon as those words left your mouth, she started running again in the direction you indicated, faster than before despite the ache between her legs. She could smell you on her, her pussy clenching around nothing even as she ran, but most of all your voice, which was counting the seconds, growing more and more distant.
The forest seemed endless, she didn’t know how much longer she had to run. There was no sign of the cabin you had told her about. She was starting to doubt its existence. Her legs were burning and with them her muscles, the temperature had dropped slightly, but it was cold enough to notice the air coming out of her mouth every time she was out of breath.
She stopped to rest only when she was sure that your footsteps couldn’t be heard, but she remained alert anyway. She collapsed on the ground, her back against a tree, she caught her breath and looked around, but she couldn’t see anything. Her ears couldn’t pick up any suspicious noise, other than the wind in the branches of the trees and a few night birds here and there. Not even a shadow of you could be seen.
When she was sure she was rested and had enough breath, she started running again, always in the same direction you had told her. She ran and ran and ran, until she could see a light far away from her. She breathed a sigh of relief and increased her pace. Now she could also see inside, with the fire lit in front of the couch and under the TV, thanks to the windows that acted as a wall on the outside of the house.
But just as she was approaching the path that led to the stairs to enter the cabin, out of nowhere she glimpsed your figure staring at her from a tree. Nat returned your gaze for a few seconds, and then sprinted towards the house, but you wrapped your muscular arms around her waist before she could touch the wood of the stairs.
“That means…” you murmured in her ear as she squirmed. “That I won, sugar.” You took her earlobe between your lips and bit it enough for her to feel it.
You slowly brought a hand to her face and turned her towards you, kissing her without hesitation. She immediately found herself returning the kiss that became more and more passionate. Her head was spinning and you pulled her towards you roughly, making her feel your semi-hard member. Your tongues rubbed together. Her hands returned to your neck while yours continued to move down and then back to her breasts and grope them roughly.
You quickly removed the hoodie she was wearing and kissed along the column of her neck, leaving purple marks as you went further down, your hands now massaging her ass. You backed up with her, leading her up the three steps to the wooden patio and setting her down on the cool surface. You ripped a hole in her pants, then did the same to her soaked panties.
“Look at you, sugar,” you turned your gaze to her pussy. “Your swollen, soaked cunt, still clenching around nothing,” she whimpered, the cool night air in direct contact with her wet, exposed sex. You ran two fingers between her folds and brought them to her mouth, letting her taste her essence. “You need it, don’t you? You need to be stretched, ruined, and used like the whore you are for me.”
You pulled down your pants and boxers, letting your cock pop out, pumping it a little to get it fully hard, which didn’t take long given the magnificent sight before you. You leaned over her, your hands on either side of her head, staring into her beautiful green eyes filled with lust.
She kissed you harder than before, nipping at your bottom lip, making you groan into her mouth. She suddenly felt a lot warmer, wondering if she was really about to get fucked on the wooden patio of a cabin by the person who had been chasing her ten minutes ago. But her mind went blank the moment she felt one of your hands spread her thighs, making her wet pussy meet your now painfully hard cock.
You positioned the tip of your cock so that it was prodding at her entrance and at the same time you pulled away from the kiss to watch her facial expressions. She immediately gasped and her back arched towards you. You slowly pushed it in, feeling her warm and tight around you. “Fuck, are you still this tight? After so long?” you asked a rhetorical question.
You took her hands and brought them above her head, pinning her down, and leaned down to kiss her slowly. You started moving, rocking your hips harshly. She gasped first into your mouth, then broke away from the kiss and began teasing the sensitive skin of your neck. You moaned in her ear, increasing the force of your thrusts, the only sounds that could be heard at that moment were your breathing and moans and the wet sound that Nat's pussy was making.
At this point you were ramming into her, whispering in her ear how pathetic and desperate she was. “Look at you, beautiful. Taking everything I’m giving you like the slut you are,” you moaned in her ear, feeling her shivering and whimpering beneath you. You could feel her getting closer to her climax, but you had other plans.
“Please,” she whispered, running her hands under your shirt and digging her nails into your back. “Let me come,” she continued with a few tears rolling down her soft face. You just grinned and continued to rock your hips fast and hard, her walls squeezing you tighter and tighter, making you groan once more.
Immediately, you slowed down and looked down at where her cunt met your cock, which was fully immersed inside her, filling her completely. She sobbed, her orgasm having been denied for the second time that night, and she began to shake even more. After a few minutes of your thrusts being soft and slow, making her feel every inch of your cock, you started moving your hips violently again, her cries of pleasure could probably be heard from miles away. Her body was aching, from the run she had been on and how you had left her in the middle of the woods, and her moans were now coming out uncontrollably. Her legs were shaking, her eyes scrunched shut and you could feel how close she was to cumming.
You continued to do this until she was a blabbering mess, the only things coming out of her mouth were pleas and moans of your name. “Tired, baby? You can’t take it anymore?” you asked, slightly worried. You looked at the expression on her face and it all hit you. You started to ram into her one last time, intertwining your hands with hers above her head and kissing her sensually and softly. “Can I come inside you?” you asked, feeling the knot in your stomach about to break. She just nodded, too tired to even respond.
Your climaxes came at the same time, her coming on your cock with the loudest moan of the evening and you painting her walls white, filling her with your seed. Her pussy contracted around you for the last time, making you groan in her neck, where you were resting your head, which you raised a few seconds later to look into her eyes, but instead you saw her passed out from exhaustion. You smiled gently at her and brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
You carefully slid out of her, trying not to hurt her, and got dressed, but first you watched your cum leak out of her gaping hole. You then picked her up bridal style and the two of you entered the cabin, which felt like a sauna compared to the outside. You continued to the stairs and carefully carried her to the bedroom you were in. You laid her on the bed and ran to the bathroom, where you drew a hot bath. You quickly ran to the kitchen to get her a bottle of water and a snack for later.
When you got back to your room, Nat was waking up. You were immediately at her side, stroking her hair. “Hey,” she whispered to you and you smiled, telling her that a bath was ready for her. “Can you carry me?” she then asked and you rolled your eyes playfully and picked her up in your arms, carrying her to the bathroom and placing her in the hot water. You handed her the bottle after opening it and helped her take a few sips.
Nat looked at you puzzled when she noticed that you were not undressing and getting in the tub with her, but instead grabbing the shampoo ready to wash her hair. “Aren’t you coming in?” she asked and you looked at her in disbelief before answering her.
“I don’t know, I don’t want to hurt you,” you started, looking at the water instead of her face. “I think I overdid it a little,” you continued. Nat pulled her hands out of the water and placed them on your face, looking into your eyes.
“I liked everything you did, from the chase in the woods to the fuck on the patio. I’m fine, you didn’t hurt me,” she wiped away the single tear that was sliding down your face with her thumb. “Get undressed and come in. I want you even closer to me,” and with that you took off your clothes and Nat made room for you between her legs, where you stayed until the tub water was cold.
The two of you dried off and got dressed, exchanging a few kisses here and there. Once you were in bed, Nat immediately curled up around you, her head on your chest and one leg bent over your hips. One of your hands slid under her shirt, touching her bare skin, while the other reached for the remote on your nightstand and you scrolled until you found her favorite James Bond movie on the TV.
Nat fell asleep not even halfway through the movie, her breath on your neck, where you could feel her smile as she slowly massaged your abdomen, tracing her fingertips over your abs. You looked up at her softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face like you had done a few hours ago. You fell asleep shortly after her, hoping that Tony hadn't installed cameras on the patio too, otherwise neither of you would ever see the end of it.
#black widow x reader#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff smut#natasha romanoff fluff#natasha romanoff fanfic#marvel#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you
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nerd!abby x reader
cw: cunnilingus (aa!recieving) , smut DUH , some plot idk , established relationship , lowk shit writing , pet names (baby)
you were watching abby read her book. her arm was slightly draped over your body, and your leg was atop of hers. you were running your fingers tips up and down her toned stomach.
"when will you be done?" you whined, getting impatient and desperately wanting her attention. "i'm not even close to being done, baby." she whispered, focused on her book with an annoyed tone hidden deeply in her voice. you rolled your eyes, eventually learning that no matter what she wasn't just gonna stop reading.
you pressed your palm straight down onto her stomach and rubbed instead of just dragging your fingers. you felt how toned her abs were, how her arm locked you into place close to her.. you took all of her in and your hand slowly dragged down to the top of her pants.
you smirked to yourself and it was like a light bulb popped up in your head. you threw her arm off you, and she looked at you weirdly, but decided to not say anything. you sat up, not even trying to be subtle about it, and sat yourself between her legs.
the dropped her book onto her chest and cocked an eyebrow at you. "just keep reading your book, abs." you told her, and she, for some reason, listened. you smiled slyly and fiddled with the waistband of her sweatpants, getting your fingers under. you pulled them off her, and she bucked her hips to make it easier for you.
you leaned down, faced with her cunt, and licked a little kitten lick up her folds. she spread her legs wider to give you more access, and she sucked in a breath. “shit, you drive me insane..” she spoke under her breath.
you put your hands steady on her big hips and went all in. you flicked your tongue on her clit and she groaned. her big hand found its way to the back of your head and shoved you farther into her cunt. you fingernails dug into her flesh while you repeatedly lick her pussy like it’s your last meal.
“fuck, make me feel so good, baby.” she managed to moan out, bucking her hips into your face. your tongue swirled against her entrance. your saliva and her juices ran down your face and made your lips and chin wet.
her thick thighs tightened around your head as she sensed her high coming. and before she even knew it she was releasing all over your face. you moan into her cunt and lap up every drop of her cum.
her thighs release you from her grip, and you sit back up. “gosh, you couldn’t wait til i was done with one chapter?” she asked, laughing. you shook your head and grinned. “no.”
you crawled up on top of her, face-to-face and caught her mouth into a kiss. her lips were soft, and you moved you hands to caress her cheeks.
sorry this is saur bad and the shortest thing to ever be written ever… can you tell this is my first time writing smut?? i bet u can, anyways request puhlease <33
#abby anderson#abby anderson x reader#abby tlou#abby the last of us#abby anderson x female reader#abby anderson x you#abby anderson x y/n#abby#tlou#the last of us#lesbian#wlw#men dni#abby smut#abby anderson smut#tlou2#the last of us 2#abby anderson tlou2#abigail anderson
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Is there anything that you see when someone writes addiction/alcohol addiction specifically that really annoys you? As someone trying to write something related rn, having someone who actually knows about it's perspective is really useful :]. Obviously no pressure to answer! Have a nice day <3
oh absolutely yes. I've seen some truly shocking things of late. and also in general very happy to bitch about it for a bit
it may sound obvious but don't. like. blame the entirety of a person's addiction on a single factor or act like "if only they had access to x piece of information, they wouldn't be an addict!". in candy house by Jennifer Egan, one of the characters became an addict because of her dyslexia and her inability to find fictional characters who Truly Understood Her. don't do that.
try not to smooth them out into a singular dimensional person. or even a two dimensional person (where the two dimensions are addiction and trauma or whatever). an addict is a human being. weirdly difficult for people to conceptualise this
NOBODY gets withdrawal right. withdrawal is Not a couple shakes and then you're good. withdrawal can last weeks, if not months, depending on how dependent the person was on the substance and depending on what the substance is
similar to the above, if someone relapses while they're experiencing withdrawal, the withdrawal symptoms do not immediately disappear. if you're throwing your guts up you won't be magically fine the moment you get your substance in you. you will still feel incredibly shit for a good couple hours Minimum
implying that addiction is inherently irrational, or selfish, or stupid. addiction is a response to a set of circumstances that make sense to a person at the time. nobody becomes an addict for shits and giggles. there is always something else going on
likewise, the "high functioning alcoholic" trope has. problems. like I spent an entire year being tipsy non-stop while I was also doing alright in university and whatever. very definition of high-functioning alcoholism I guess. but I think those characters are done Poorly a lot of the time in that the nature of the interpersonal issues they have never feels Quite Right
"I got sober for love" shut the fuck up. "you saved me from myself" go away. "one real human relationship fixed my dependency on substances" no it did not. if love cured all ills, I would be the healthiest guy on the planet. it simply does not work that way <- falling in love makes it easier to love myself and have hope for the future but at the end of the day I'm still a traumatised bitch who struggles with shit
the entire concept of an intervention. addiction does not end with One Grand Event that will make everything better. forcing someone to go to rehab barely ever works. interventions are not one-off events, they are a series of kind and compassionate conversations that occur over a long period of time
sorry this ended up being a lot more than I thought it would. I think if you asked me again tomorrow I would have five to ten more things to bitch about. idk. people get the complexities of addiction wrong A Lot and I've read/seen more bad rep than good rep. but oh well. it's important to me that people are out there trying their best to do better! so thanks for asking
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So you've played Space Marine 2 and want to get in on the Warhammer 40k lore but Holy Shit Where Do You Begin?
My introduction to warhammer was through the now forever hiatus'd YouTube parody, "If The Emperor Had A Text To Speech Device". While not entirely comprehensive or unbiased, it presented enough of the lore to me in managable bite sized pieces that I could then move on to the next step: reading the books.
I've seen posts about people being afraid to be considered a "tourist" bc they don't even read the books and I got two things to say to this. 1) who gives a shit what others in this fandom thinks? And 2) while it's not required, I think some of you would get joy out of actually reading the books. Also I find it kinda strange when people won't engage with the media but then complain they don't know what's going on. Engage with the media!
"But Holy Bride! Where do I even begin?! There are over 50 books in the Horus Heresy alone!" Do not fear my little trembling trebbles. My first advice is 1) don't get caught up in reading order. There are too many legions and too many characters. My first warhammer reading experience was Know No Fear. Then after reading the unremembered empire/ deathfire novels I moved on to A Thousand Sons. Now? I'm reading The First Heretic. It is okay to jump around in a story that you already know how it ends.
Secondly, there are audio dramas and audio books that make reading and consuming the media a tad easier and they're very well produced! Buying them direct can get expensive so try to find other sources but I mean, if you have the money I say go for it!
I really enjoy this franchise, even if it can be doofy or annoying to me sometimes and I'm glad that more people are getting into it. But like, you do sorta need to take the steps to get into it! Warhammer is not an accessible beast by nature, which is why even 4 or so years after GamesWorkshop releases a zero tolerance policy on fan animations, I am Still pushing and recc'ing if the emperor had a tts.
Get acquainted with the lore, then pick a favorite boy or legion, and just pick up a book! They're usually pretty short and are a leisurely reading level.
Or don't! The choice is yours but remember that you only get so much information from wiki's and lore dumps and it really is better to engage with media through your own perspective rather than the perspectives of others 🌹
#warhammer 40k#warhammer 30k#advice for getting into a box with no doors or hinges just a lot of books
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Why aren't comics more common in TTRPGs?

(This is about game design and presentation) In school one of the things I discovered is that I have trouble absorbing info from a big text book. And most TTRPGs are presented as text books. Once I understand the basic information in the book (chemistry textbook or RPG sourcebook or whatever) I can deal with the book on my own terms. I can dive into individual parts and learn, and slowly absorb the book as a whole. But I need help to get there. I need an access port. Sometimes this comes in the form of someone explaining the book to me. Explaining the rules of the game or the outline of an essay. This is great, and gives me a way in so I can absorb and master the book myself. But I don't always have someone in my life who can do that. Interestingly, I don't have this problem with novels at all. Narrative feels easier to access, at least for me.
In school I also discovered Scot McCloud's Understanding Comics. This is a pretty fantastic book which I'd recommend to everyone. It helped me understand how I process information. More importantly, it helped me understand the different people process information in different ways. I hadn't realized that at age 16, although I was starting to suspect it. Before I started making comics or games I used to be a teacher. As a teacher I could see that some of my kids were struggling with the information I was giving them, in the same way I had struggled in school. I started using comics in class to help reach these students. I'd draw little comics on my handouts or on the whiteboard to explain what we were learning. The goal wasn't to provide an entire lesson in comics form. I'm not Scott McCloud! Instead, I was trying to find an access point for my students. An on ramp. A port of entry to the ideas and material we were covering so they could engage and eventually absorb the information. It worked so well. It worked like magic. Why don't we do this more in TTRPGs? I used comics in my early games, Panty Explosion Perfect and Ocean. These were narrative comics, not rules comics, but the goal was to provide both an example of what play looked like (from a narrative standpoint) and a point of access for players who weren't sure what the game was or how to engage with it. My thought was that if you understood what the game was supposed to look like it would be easier to approach the rules. (A short comic from Ocean. The book has a bunch of these)

When my brother Nick and I started working on The Magical Land of Yeld I knew I wanted to use comics more directly as a teaching tool. Especially because part of our target audience was new and younger players who might look at a big text book (Yeld is a giant 400 page hardcover) and just bounce right off it. Like I did in school and like I often do with big games. So I needed to teach with examples and illustrations, and especially comics.

The first comics you'll encounter in the Yeld book are narrative, and designed to get you into the ideas and themes of the game. But in the first few pages we also start sprinkling in rules comics. These are presented along side the rules text. They don't replace that text, which is important. The text explains the rules in greater detail, and includes information that just couldn't be added in a single page comic. Instead, the comic is intended to be a point of access to the rules text. A player can read the comic, understand the basic concept, and feel comfortable engaging with the text. That's the goal, to make players comfortable and to make the rules text accessible.

We use comics to teach basic game mechanics, but we also use them to explain specific player facing systems. Sometimes these are things that really do need a comic to explain them, but sometimes we use comics as lures to draw player attention to mechanics that we're afraid they might otherwise not engage with. For example, in playtesting we found that when characters died during a fight the player would just sit there for the rest of the fight and not engage. It turned out, since you don't do anything in D&D once you die (except slowly die more), most players assume that's how all games work! So they hadn't even noticed that in Yeld you become a Ghost and get to ghost around and do fun Ghost stuff! I decided to create a comic that not just explained this but drew attention to it and showed why it was a fun (and important) part of the game!

Structure of play isn't always obvious to players, especially if they're new to TTRPGs or have only played D&D. You pick up habits from the games you play the most, and since most gamers play nothing but D&D there is a tendency to assume EVERYTHING works like D&D. Yeld doesn't, so we decided to take nothing for granted and make comics that very specifically show what a session of play looks like. In this example, it may not look a lot different from D&D, but the adventure is specifically divided into 5 parts. The comic illustrates these parts in a way that is easy to understand. The accompanying game text explains each part in more detail and illustrates how they are important to play. The comic serves as a ramp that gets players to the info they need.

Not all of our comics are player facing. Yeld has a rotating GM (which is awesome, btw), and this means every player gets a chance in the Game Master roll. Which means every player needs to understand how this roll works. Comics like this one, which explain how to build monsters to use in your game, help make the process easy to understand. Again, its about building a point of entry for players. A player might say "I don't want to GM, it sounds to complicated!" But its not. You just need to make it easy for them. Make the mechanics and responsibilities easy to understand. Show why they're fun! In Yeld, its important that each player takes on the GM role from time to time, since we're building a story together. Making it look fun is important! Comics help with that. What's more fun than comics?

Narrative comics are important too. At least for Yeld. I don't think every game benefits from them (although I always love seeing them). Narrative comics show players what the game is supposed to look like. What the characters do and say. What environments they visit. Narrative comics set a tone. Narrative comics let new players understand what a game is about immediately! We can hand a Yeld book to a new player or customer and they know what's up in seconds, just by reading a short single page comic. That's a powerful tool. So why don't more games use comics? Part of it is that game creators are usually not comic creators. There's not a lot of crossover. That always surprises me, but both disciplines take a lot of work. Who has time for both? Even when you have game designers that are comic creators, they often don't include comics in the games (Lancer???). I don't think this means game designers don't recognize the value of comics. I've had this conversation with so many game designers, and they usually agree that comics are useful tools. But if you don't know how to make comics, making comics for your game can be daunting. What rules should you focus on? How do you present that information in comic form? How many comics should you make? How do you hire someone to make comics, anyway? Hiring artists is expansive, btw. You know that, of course. Hiring an artist to make a set of comics for your game could cost you thousands of dollars (or more), depending on what you want. Of course, you can try to make your own comics. And you should! Really! A poorly drawn comic is not necessarily a bad comic. The point is to get your information across to your reader. to provide a point of access. You don't need great art for that (although great art can help attract people to your game). Stick figure work just fine. Here's an example, the layout for the Tea Dragon card game. Another artist took this layout and redrew it in their own style. But my goal here was to be simple and concise with my explanation of the rules. To make the game accessible.


There's a few more pages of this, but you get the idea. The purpose is to explain, and make the player comfortable with learning more. The art matters to the extent that it serves this goal. In fact, flashy or complicated art can get in the way! You'll notice in that most of the Yeld rules comics I posted above the art is pretty simple, with solid color backgrounds. You want to make your comics as easy to read as possible, and that includes avoiding clutter, overpacked word balloons and messy layout. Readers are easily distracted. It doesn't take much for them to set down a book at all. A complicated phrase or hard to read font can often be enough. And once they set a book down they may not every pick it up again. That's more true for a big text book than it is for a comics, but its still true for a comic. So our goal is to make our comic the easiest, smoothest point of access it can possibly be. So easy and smooth that the reader can slide right into the rules text without noticing! Here's my general process for creating a rules comic. This is from my friend Brian's game Scofflaws. I start by taking the basic mechanics that need to be illustrated and breaking them down into panels. The goal is to make each panel readable and not overwhelm the player. At this point I'm just doing a rough sketch. It may not eve=n be readable, but that's fine!

Next, I refine the text and art. I decide on the exact language I'll use, and I finalize where characters and other elements will be placed. As you can see, the actual layout didn't change much here. Sometimes it changes a lot!

Finally, I create the finished art. Honestly, the previous step was just fine. It explanans the rules I wanted to explain. But this last step allows me to add in some narrative flavor. The first panel contains a complicated background in order to present the game's setting. The characters look like the kind of characters you'll play in the game. This isn't nessacary for presenting rules, but it helps present the game as a whole. You want players to engage with every part of your game. The last thing you want them doing is picking up your dungeon crawling game and going "Oh, this would be great for playing Star Wars!"

(I probably shouldn't have chose than shade of red for the background. It makes the text a bit hard to read!) So again, why aren't we seeing more comics in games? Its not as if they don't exist at all, and I'm personally always excited to see them. I recently opened the Final Fantasy RPG box set and was so happy to find the rules were accompanied by cute comics. And there's lot of other examples (maybe you can post some in the comments). But I think comics are a clearly underused tool in game design and presentation. And as a comic person, let me tell you that you're leaving a valuable tool on the table if you're not considering using comics. Are they right for every game? Maaaybe not? But I think MANY MANY MANY games could benefit form them. Are they expensive? They can be. Are they hard to make? They can be. Are there people you can go to for advice? Hey, my door is open.
#game design#ttrpgs#ttrpg design#ttrpg community#ttrpg#roleplayinggames#comics in games#comics as a teaching tool#teaching with comcis#put comics in your game for fucks sake#yeld
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TW: smut ♡
Shinji Hirako is not a fan of PDA...
Surprisingly, given how loud, shameless and unapologetic he was, Shinji was the type who very seldom showed his affection for you in front of others. Don't get him wrong, he wasn't ashamed or embarrassed of his love for you by any means, and he wasn't afraid to beckon you by a subtle pet name or perform a sweet act of service while others watched. He just had a thing about not laying his hands on you, not showing any PDA because he didn't "need perverts or weirdos watching him be intimate with you." He claimed it was more special to have you all to himself, that he didn't want others to even begin to imagine you in that way.
You had no reason not to believe him, not with how stark the contrast was when you were alone. You had never met a man as handsy or as clingy as Shinji. You never needed him to wrap an arm around you or hold your hand in public because he gave you so much physical affection in private that sometimes you welcomed the chance to get some space from him.
Behind closed doors, Shinji was always touching you - holding your hand, running his fingers through your hair, caressing your back, squishing your cheeks...
Slapping your ass, squeezing your thighs, fondling your breasts, kissing, licking, and biting any and every part of you - he left no part of you unexplored, knowing your body probably better than you did.
He had been gone all day today, ever the busy man as a Captain now, and you were losing your mind craving his touch. When he finally returned, shrugging off his robes and finding his way to you, you melted into him, welcoming his wandering hands with a tired, needy sigh.
"Oh?" He laughed, reading your body language perfectly as you curved into him and arched under his caress, much like a cat seeking its owner's affection. "Did you miss me today, sweet thing?"
"So much," you pouted. "I'm so happy you're here now." You snuggled against his slender frame as his hands traveled high and low, petting your hair before grabbing a handful of your ass.
"You're too cute." He grinned down at you mischievously. "I should really get a shower. You wanna join me, doll?"
You nodded eagerly, excitedly following him to the bathroom and wasting no time getting undressed with him. Stepping under the hot water was like heaven, even more so when he was against you again, hugging you from behind and pressing kisses into the side of your head. You wished every moment could be like this, warm and content and full of affection. You leaned into him, trying to appreciate the present while you could.
It didn't take long for his fingers to slip between your thighs, playing with your bundle of nerves while he hardened behind you, and as he expertly toyed with your body, you found it easier and easier to remain in the moment. Your knees weakened beneath you. You willed strength back into your legs, spreading them apart further to both ground yourself and to give Shinji easier access. He slipped one finger inside you, and with his other hand, another into your mouth. You greedily sucked him in at both ends, clenching and moaning around his slender digits.
"Such a good little thing for me," he praised. "I missed you too you know," he groaned into your ear. "Missed this pretty little mouth and this tight little pussy."
You hummed contentedly and drooled around his finger, eyes rolling back into your head as he twisted and curled his other obscenely long finger in and out before adding another.
You were sure of it, his large hands were made for touching you, for pumping in and out of you, and for holding you and protecting you, squeezing and hugging you. You began to get emotional thinking about it, about him, and about how grateful you were for your physically affectionate boyfriend, even if you didn't always say so.
You sobbed around his finger, and your body convulsed with the sudden onslaught of emotion, making him pull it out to grab your jaw, turning your chin to look at him. "Everything okay?" He checked in, nearly gasping when he saw hot tears gliding out of your eyes.
"I'm okay," you laughed through the tears. "I just love you so much." Your lip wobbled, the admission, reminding you of the explosion of affection and emotion in your chest. You sobbed again.
Shinji didn't stop pumping in and out of you, but at your fragile state, he softened, brows furrowing as he kissed your tears away and cooed to you, "baby, oh my sweet baby. Don't you know I love you more?"
You shook your head at him, the steamy shower cascading down and mixing with your tears in such a sweet way it made Shinji's heart - and cock - swell. "No way," you told him.
"Yeah way," he disagreed. "Let me show you, please?"
You fought against him, shaking your head again as his fingers slid in and out of your walls at a faster pace, thumping against your sweet spot each time. It felt impossible to take, to hold yourself up. "Shin - Shinji!"
"Will you cum for me? Make a mess all over my fingers? Come on, doll, show me just how much you love me."
You cried out and whined loudly without fear, your sounds muffled only when his finger was back inside your mouth for you to suck on. Your mind was blank, aside from your intense love for him and his touch, a whirlwind of feelings that were only to be experienced, never explained. You let that, along with the overwhelming heat of the running water to carry you along. Having done this many times before, the master of your body, mind and soul, Shinji easily pulled an orgasm from you, talking you through it and holding you up when you no longer had the strength to do so yourself. You trembled in his arms, shaking in the aftermath, and he began to lather you with soap and water as if you were fine china, poised to break if he didn't handle you with the utmost care.
When he finished massaging body gel into your skin, you tried to return the favor, but he refused to allow it, hurriedly washing up so that he could pull a towel around you and whisk you off to the bedroom. He dried himself only after toweling you off, and pulled the comforter over your naked bodies, only to have his hands on you again, tracing shapes and words into your bare flesh.
You fell asleep that way, in his arms, under his touch, and woke up without ever having separated from him. When another one of the Captains came to his door for something that day, it went back to business as usual. He remained apart from you, throwing you a cheeky grin as a reminder of what he's done to you, what he could do to you, and what he will do to you - later, when you were alone again. It made you snicker when the captain made a comment about never having seen the two of you kiss, remarking that Shinji must've been a lousy lover.
"He's far from lousy," you defended before your boyfriend could, smiling sweetly. "We prefer to keep intimate matters private," you explained in Shinji's own words, feeling smug when you watched his face transform with surprise, amusement, and pride. "Wouldn't want any perverts or weirdos watching what he does to me, now would I?"
#bleach x reader#bleach smut#bleach anime#bleach#shinji hirako x reader#shinji hirako#shinji hirako smut#anime x reader#anime smut#shinji hirako bleach#shinji bleach
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thinking about the little silly ask i sent @thegnomelord, so have this small drabble while i wait for my food to come :3
CW: 18+ , crack treated seriously , monster!reader , himan!ghost , monsterfucker!ghost , implied size difference , anal sex , implied belly bulge , alien bodily anatomy , a little au , not beta read
FEMS, MINORS, EMPTY BLOGS DNF.
Simon can't breathe. Not in the, 'I'm being buried alive' type of way, no, that's a different feeling he wouldn't wish on his worst enemies, and just the thought of having dirt clogging his nostrils and pressing down on his body nearly has him tapping out—no. This type of suffocating is good; it nips at Simon's body and makes the world around him hazy, in a way he imagines weed to feel.
Half his body is hoisted over a counter, your larger body pressing up against his back. You're heavier than he is, larger, with a body that's not quite Human—which isn't all that different to the other passengers on the spaceship. Something about diversity and being a collection of different intergalactic species.
A set of your arms grip at his waist, another hand gripping his thigh and holding it up, blunt claws digging into his flesh, the other playing with his cock and effectively blocking it from being crushed against the counter. The position gives you easier access to his hole, making you thrust your cock deeper into his hole.
A particular thrust against his prostate has him groaning, ripping him out of his thoughts and clenching around your cock. He tries not to think about how weird it looks, how tentacle-like and bioluminescent it looks, how... non-Human it is. Not when you let out a garbled sound that's a mixture of a gibberish series of clicks and a croaky moan that's a little too guttural.
"You're killin' me, Si'," You groan, slumping your weight against him, grinning when Simon grunts from the sudden weight. It only drives your cock deeper, and Simon sucks in a sharp breath when he swears he can feel you in his stomach.
"Fuckin' hell, you heavy bitch." He growls, trying to ignore how he feels a low rumble vibrate somewhere from your chest, feels you shudder with amusement. He hates how he doesn't have to even look at you to know how you're feeling, just based on your body language. You nuzzle the back of his nape, slick and smooth scales making him shudder almost uncomfortably, before he feels you bite into the juncture between his shoulder and neck.
He nearly shouts when you suddenly pick up the pace, gripping him tightly as you jackhammer into him. But all Simon can do is moan. Loud and whorish for the entire crew to hear. His cock jerks against your hand, a familiar sensation building up fom the repeated pounding against his prostate.
"Shite!" He moans, ragged and gruff, clawing desperately at the wall as his legs tremble. His orgasm crashes unexpectedly, a string of gargled Human curses slipping from his mouth as he clenched around your cock and cums all over his stomach and your hand. His body shudders through it, legs giving little jerks and twitches. Spit dribbles down his chin, mouth hanging open as low, ragged groans slip out. He feels sweaty, the spare closet far too small to fit both Human and alien.
And speaking of alien...
Simon's eyes blink open when he feels something just... pop inside his ass. It's not a big thing, more like popping those jelly candies he's seen Americans eat before. It's small, almost subtle, and Simon has an inkling suspicion it's something about you and your weird alien body when you grind into him, slowly and deeply, as you ride out your orgasm.
After a couple of heartbeats, when only your soft pants and the even softer subtle whir of the mechanics of the ship, Simon speaks. He doesn't look at you, instead narrows his eyes at the wall, as if to test you.
"[Name]," Simon begins, voice back to its normal tone and volume, as if he wasn't just fucked. "What was that?"
Your body doesn't react, but you do slowly begin to pull out. "What was what?"
Simon rolls his eyes and glances over his shoulder, dark eyes narrowing at you. "You know what."
You're grinning, slit eyes watching him. Your stupid whiskers twitch with amusement—and there goes Simon knowing how you're feeling solely on your body language, fucking Christ—and your too sharp teeth glint with spit.
"Don't worry about it, Si," You purr, and with a slick pop, you pull out. Both Human and alien groan simultaneously, with the man wincing as he felt your cum slip out of his loose and puffy hole.
Simon glances down at your cock, and catches a glimpse of it sheathing just as you begin to pull up your suit. The Human huffs and glances down, and Simon nearly gawks at the sight, eyes widening.
"Why the fawk is your cum glowing?!" Simon's voice is higher than normal, filled with surprise.
Neon cum, a cyan color, dribbles out of his ass, dripping down to his inner thighs. It glows, as bioluminescent as the tentacle dick hiding within your sheath, a more slimier and slicker substance than Human cum.
"Simon, Simon, Simon," You gave his ass a nice squeeze, and retracted your claw when he smacked you away. You grinned, sharp teeth flashing in a wide grin, unnatural and too wide. Your voice is a low purr, smooth and slick, deceitful in every way.
"Don't worry about it."
#mr. o'whora's works !#ghost x male reader#simon riley x male reader#simon ghost riley x male reader#ghost riley x male reader#simon ghost x male reader#x male reader#mlm#gay#mlm gay#gay smut
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I am done. I am calling this thing done. I know this isn't perfect. It could definitely be better. And I am by no means a draftsman. This is just me with my silly little screenshots trying to make sense of the layout. And now if I wanna draw/write about the inside of the cafe in the future for whatever reason. I have reference of where everything is at.
This was supposed to be a small project meant to give reference to others that didn't want to rely on screenshots alone. Or were like me and didn't have a way to access any fanmade maps. (I do not own gmod). But it's done, enjoy. With and without the screenshot references. As a treat.
If you guys had been following me for a while. You know just how much I had struggled working on this during my free time. However it became so much easier when I realized the square exterior was just a vague suggestion to how things would fit inside. That's for sure...
Anyhoo. Below the cut, you can listen to me crazily ramble on about the issues/inconsistencies I found while making this. But it's fine if you don't read and just want the references. The cut is just me specifically venting out all the slight insanity I felt making this.
Hey you're still here? Cool. Awesome.
So before I begin. Just to avoid any confusion. When indicating direction in the ramble below. I will be referring them in the way I oriented the map. For example, North is the entrance. South in the shelf selling bombs. Etc...
Main Floor/Cafe
1. The East wall has a door leading to the bathroom ("SMG4: The Inspection"). But it exists in a space that is not there.
2. The East wall also shows two windows on the outside. But only one window on the inside.
3. Both the backroom and hidden elevator are also are in a space that doesn't exist.
4. Speaking of the backroom. According to the concept sketch. There are windows on the West wall. Which, yes, should not exist. As we do not see any windows there from the inside. Unless they are being blocked by the shelves. Or those windows are just decorative stickers...
-Though I'm willing to give it a pass since we haven't actually seen that side of the wall in the show.
5. The front window's decal is not mirrored on the inside (this one is just a small nick pick. But something I couldn't unsee once I saw it).
Evil Lair/Basement
6. Past SMG3's bed (East side of room). There's a unknown area that turns off from the left of the entrance. With a solid wall immediately to the right. The tiles could mean it's a bathroom/kitchen area. But we don't see much more of it past the view from the doorway. I point this out because in "SMG4: You Used To Be Cool". There's a part where SMG3 shoots at the fireplace. Creating a hole and revealing a shower behind it.
-It's very confusing how you would get there. Because since there's a wall in the east room that could have lead there. The only other way to get there is the hypothetical space (shown in map) past the elevator to get to this shower. But again, this is not shown. So cannot be confirmed.
Anyways, that's it. That's the ramble. This project was more chaotic than I first thought it would be. And unless the official map comes out and I buy gmod to explore it. I am not touching this thing again.
#smg4#smg3#smg4 smg3#smg4 III's coffee n' bombs#rae rambles#I felt like I was going insane#a part of me wanted to get gmod just to look at fan maps#but as the name implies. They're fan made#and might not be accurate/miss details#so I relied on clips in videos#that was a mistake#i am just glad this imperfect map is finally done...#I spent too much time on this....
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trust you | anakin skywalker: episode X
We're finally back!! Read it on Wattpad too!
Summary: Anakin is planning a trade with General Grievous and is preparing for another mission, again. Before he leaves the Temple, he seeks help from a very skilled engineer, and their interaction takes a wild turn. The Jedi is faced with an unexpected visitor, buckle up.
Warnings: Angst, some sort of fluff, mention of injuries, a lot of swearing as always
Word count: 2.9k
⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆
Anakin:
I had been waiting for her outside the classroom where she was in with the other kids. Luke wasn't there today, and I could use it to my advantage and finally go on that mission again and make the trade. My fingers twitched as my hands rested at my sides, I felt incredibly uncomfortable at the thought of talking to her again, or more specifically, at the thought of needing her help.
I noticed she held back a quip when I told her it had to do with Artoo, and I avoided glaring at her so she wouldn't give up helping me. I'm not getting better at this, and interacting with her doesn't make it any easier. My lips felt dry as I looked over her and she stared back at me. I have no fucking idea why I felt this way.
She scans the Droid carefully, reaching over for a datapad to scan him over. "I've tried everything, I can't even recalibrate his monitor"
She keeps herself focused on the task as I lean against the wall and tap my fingers against my folded arms. There's a brief silence that's neither dreading or embarrassing, which can mean endless things at this point.
She pauses the pad and hums, but there's a hint of amusement in her tone and I raise my brows at her reaction.
"Why is there a tweezer stuck inside Artoo?" She asks while popping open the access panel, reaching for the object and I clear my throat.
I wouldn't dare say I'm an engineer just like her, but I'd like to think I can honestly fix things. And to look at her mocking face while she holds the tweezer just about says a lot when it comes to my skills.
"I uh– thought I saw something loose and tried reaching out to it"
I try to ignore the way she's grinning and shaking her head at me, like I'm some fucking dumb child who messes up with something I shouldn't have. My own lips purse and I realize I'm trying not to smile at her attitude. Get over yourself, Skywalker.
She starts rewiring him, muttering something inaudible as she removes some faulty component and replaces it with a brand new one from her tool box. I cannot deny that she's very skilled and knows what she's doing. But every now and then I still feel bitter when it crosses my mind the day I fought with a limb because she couldn't fix my arm in time.
As she pushes herself up and presses a switch, R2 immediately straightens up and happily beeps as he spins. I didn't think she could do something like that this fast.
"What–" My voice cracks in surprise and I have to swallow it down "That was... incredibly fast"
(Y/N) gives me a sheepish smile and leans back. "This was easy. You should see the mess I fixed on that old Republic cruiser last week. Now, about my payment..."
My mind shorts circuit at her comment and I immediately scoff, with my arms still crossed against my chest.
"We never agreed on that" She must be thinking I'm being a pain in the ass with my remark, but my demeanor shifted minutes ago.
I can't keep lowering my shield whenever I'm around her, and I can't seem to raise it back up.
"Yeah, but you owe me a favor now, Master" She snickers, holding her waist with both hands and I roll my eyes. "And, you could've broken him with that tweezer in there"
I feel myself blush at the way she jokes about the object, but I brush it off "Don't push your luck, (Y/L/N)" I push myself off the wall and give Artoo a tap "But uh–"
My tongue rolls up inside my mouth and I force myself to look at her and nod. It's somewhat very difficult to actually talk to her without being an actual certified asshole.
"Thank you"
She grins again and taps on my shoulder, tilting her head almost mischievously "You're welcome, Skywalker"
I watch as she walks back inside the Temple, all the while R2 beeps from below me. If there's one thing I haven't missed about him being faulty, was that he was a talkative, nosy little Droid.
"Shut up" I mumble at him, and he spins around me as a responsive mock.
-
My hands tightly grip the handle as I once again approach the Trade Federation Cruiser. My anxiety skyrockets and I feel my stomach tying to a knot. Doing this alone now makes me feel more relieved since I'm not bringing anyone to a lethal battle, especially considering Grievous can be just as much of a killer as Snoke is.
As I'm about to land on the hangar, the radio on the control panel turns to life, making me snap my head directly at it in confusion.
"Hey, you" The male voice says "Yeah, you with the grumpy face. You're gonna need a hand again"
I roll my eyes when I realize it's Poe Dameron again. He fucking followed me. There’s something about him that feels like he wants to be drawn into murderous missions, as if he longs to fight against something dreadful, and it brings me to the brink of disturbance.
I wanted to fight alone, I wanted this mission to be mine. I didn't want to involve anyone else like the last time. I pretty much wouldn't drag Kestis to this godforsaken place even if he asked me to, especially now that we're not on good terms. I could just throw him to the Wookies and let him deal with them, but I wouldn't bring him here.
As I approach the General, he stands tall against me "For once, Grievous, let’s try talking before we start breaking things"
The Kaleesh chuckles "You Jedi always amuse me. What could you possibly offer that would make me spare your miserable lives?"
As I expected, his fingers tightens at my response and he narrows his eyes when I explain what we want.
"You expect me to believe you would trade such a valuable prize? What is the catch, Skywalker?"
"No catch. Just let the refugees from the outpost go. They’re not soldiers, they’re not spies" I try to reason with him, but he knows I'm reckless and I'm always with a move up on my sleeve.
From my comlink, I hear Poe muttering through his device, and I have to shoot him a glare. He shrugs "This guy is really negotiating with a walking trash compactor. Bold move"
Grievous startles me when he ignites his lightsaber "A tempting deal... but I do not negotiate with Jedi" The nearest battle droids raise their weapons. Again, I'm not surprised he refused the offer. Poe sighs and unholsters his blaster.
The fight immediately erupts and blasters fire, lightsabers flash as I try to fight off Grievous while Poe took cover, picking off droids with shots. My blade clashes against his, and I can feel Poe ducking behind me. He peeks out, firing two quick shots that take down a pair of B1 droids.
Things went south, again. My back slams against the wall and the battle droid in front of me tries to get past the door, but Poe surprises him with a swoon of the lightsaber he just found lying on the ground. I feel my left eye almost popping out of my skull, my head keeps pounding, and I'm pretty sure I have too many splits over my face to count.
Somewhere in between the fight, I came across Grievous, who mercilessly tried to twist my guts with his force. I had to use all of my senses to abruptly push him backwards so I could run away. He didn't want to make any trades, he just wanted to win a battle. I had to defend myself and Poe, while the motherfucker could only do such little to help and surprisingly miss his shots at them. My head started spinning as I felt my eyelids become heavy, I could only see through a tunnel vision as it felt heavily blurry. I tried to push myself up, and my knees gave out.
The pilot was screaming my name, shielding himself as much as he could while he tried to pick me up. From then on, I blacked out.
My eyes felt extremely dry as I tried to open them a few times. My body was lying on a soft surface, and my head was lighter than before. I forced myself to stay awake, but the dizziness made me zone out countless times. I couldn't see shit in front of me, just some flashes of figures I couldn't honestly identify. Eventually, I fully awakened and straightened myself on the bed, finally able to take in my surroundings. I was in the medical bay. Poe was in the bed beside me, his face was littered in cuts and there was a nasty slash on his arm, which was covered by numerous stitches.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I turned my head and scanned the place, seeing her in the distance as she looked rather shocked, her arms were folded and her eyebrows were knitted together. I was weak, but my senses still heightened as I felt this presence I haven't felt in years. It made me feel like my heart was almost ripping out of my chest, my ears started ringing again and there was a buzz inside my head. My hands immediately come up to either side of my skull, forcing my eyes shut as I try to balance myself. The high pitched noise increased at each passing second and I felt my nose bleeding. And then it came to an abrupt halt.
I slowly opened my eyes, noticing two figures in front of me. It was her and, the other one I assumed was Cal. But everything around me froze as I watched the other presence, one I had promised myself I would never meet again. One that I swore I wanted dead.
"Anakin!" She shouted before I fell limp on the bed again.
I'm not sure how long it took before I woke up again. This time, it was just him and me. Besides Poe, who was still on a lifelong nap on the other side of the room. I couldn't meet his gaze, the thought of looking up at him was unbearable. My ragged breath filled the air of the room, and my hands shook as I gripped the sheet beneath me tightly.
"You" I sneered, my eyes avoiding his gaze. I noticed he had seemed to lose weight, and his hair was longer than it was before. "You. How dare you come back like nothing happened?"
"Ani, I–"
"Don't you dare say my name like that! You lost your right to call me that long before you left. You're a fucking traitor, that's what you are"
"Anakin, I came back for you. I helped you out there. I know my respect and morals were swiped away, but listen, my young child–"
I cut him off with a scoff "Yeah, you of all the people would really come back for me after years! You said I was your brother, that you loved me. In the past. Don't forget that, Kenobi"
"I know what has been said and done, son. I couldn't just come back when you were so hurt and grieving. And I can still feel you, I can feel you struggling to make peace with yourself. I know you shut me out with the force, but I was never gone. Whatever battle has been happening, it's because you want to make things right"
"Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan" I still couldn't look at him, and my throat burns each time I say his name out loud "You don't fucking know shit about my life anymore. You don't know what my battles are, what I fight for. You didn't care to stay for Luke, my son!"
"I know more than you give me credit for, my young boy. I know you're still in pain, and I know how much you want to protect Luke. You don't have to forgive me. But please, don't torture yourself because of that"
There's dreadful silence filling the air, and my flesh hand became numb from twisting my wrist against the sheet. My nostrils flared, and I felt a sense of uneasiness as he took a few steps forward and placed one hand over mine. It didn't burn, it didn't make me flinch. Instead, it slowed my heartbeat and calmed my bloodstream.
"That young lady" He looks past the door of the medical bay, flicking his eyes at me again "She's not a bad person. She loves your son. She cares about you. She had been waiting for you to wake up for hours. Miss (Y/L/N) isn't afraid of you, Anakin. Don't push her away, because I know you want to"
He retracted his hand, intensely watching me. Something was boiling inside of me, but I couldn't figure out what it was. Obi-Wan looked over Poe and smiled at me.
"You've got yourself a good team, don't let that slip away from you"
He disappeared through the door and my breath hitched in my throat. My eyes were burning from tears that threatened to spill, but I wiped them away before I even started to cry. (Y/N) walked in with uncertainty in her steps, carefully scanning me over before walking near my bed.
"I didn't know he was here. He just landed on the hangar so suddenly, walking past everyone and when I noticed the commotion, I couldn't believe it"
I nodded, finally glancing up at her for the first time. She was shocked. I could see her fiddling and she was biting her lip.
"Guess we should give him the award for best fucking actor of the Temple" My words come out bitter and I can feel it in my tongue.
She doesn't extend the subject, reaching for a glass of water and offering it to me. I just then realized I hadn't had water in a long time.
"How are you feeling?" She asks, shuffling on her feet as I hand her the empty glass.
"About what exactly?"
"The fight. Obi-Wan told me they were beating you up, Poe came to your rescue right before you blacked out. He helped Dameron back to the spaceship with you and sent you two to Coruscant"
"Yeah, not as easy as I thought. I was sure I had the upper hand way before Dameron showed up unannounced"
"You're known for your reckless missions, Master. I guess he wanted to make sure you were safe" She gave me a reassuring smile and I felt my fingers twitching.
The unfamiliar feeling of protectiveness I sensed in her washed over me, making me speechless. She brought her hands up to reach my face and I trailed my eyes over her, noticing her hesitance to touch my skin as she examined my injuries. Her fingers lingered on my jawline, ghosting over my forehead. The light touch made me nauseous, but it wasn't negative. It was different from the kind of discomfort I had become used to after everything that had happened to me.
"You're going to survive" She removes her hand from my face, shooting me a bashful smile and I keep looking at her as if I'm under a fucking spell.
"Okay, doctor" My tone comes out somewhat playful and she chuckles at the remark. "Luke, where is he?"
It took me long enough to finally remember my son, and she placed a hand on top of my forearm, giving it a light squeeze.
"Oh, he's great. He came to see you earlier, said you were going to be just fine and left with 3PO"
I roll my eyes and sigh "He's getting used to me being beaten up. What kind of a father am I if I can't come back in pieces from a mission?"
Louis notices the resentment in my tone and gives me a comforting look.
"The kind of father who shows his soon that even the greatest Jedi loses too"
"Are you calling me a loser?" I fake an indignant voice and lift my eyebrows at her. Her face falters and she tries to recover from her comment, but I snort before she says anything back.
"You are insufferable, Skywalker"
"Just please tell him to come see me when you find him, will you?" She nods and excuses herself out of the room.
From the corner of my eye, I can feel Poe with his eyes open, trying to discreetly shift on his bed for his own sake, but failing at it.
"You know I know you have been listening, right?"
He leaves a huff and turns on his side to face me. "Didn't want to interrupt you love birds" He smiles widely and I glare at him.
There's only so much I could take in just one day. Everything started to fall apart the moment I black out in Grievous' ship, and meeting with Obi-Wan after what felt like decades took a turn real quickly. I could never imagine him being there after us, trying to keep us safe. Realizing that he was the one who brought us back and stayed by our side left me completely disoriented. It also struck me how I had treated her just moments ago, when in all honesty I should have backed off instead of leaving her the option to get so close, but I couldn't.
And Kenobi's words kept ringing in my head, a clear sign that he, indeed, knew me more than I gave him credit for.
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hi so i was hoping for like a gut check on this because maybe it's weird and if it is i want to stop.
so im trans and autistic, and because of that im a little behind on understanding masturbation and my body. ive been trying to read up on it and im trying to learn how to masturbate. one of my friends and i were talking about it, and he asked to see some of the webpages i was looking at (shoutout to you and planned parenthood). but we were looking through them and one of the links went to scarleteen.
and he said it was weird and kind of perverted because im an adult (24) and thats for teenagers. i said that i thought it was okay because its not like im interacting with teenagers and theyre pretty good for teaching me i thought because i like the clear writing and the easier words and also its just a webpage. but the more i think about it the more freaked out i get. like scarleteens one of them and also teen vogue and some other ones because those are just what come up a lot of the time for learning more.
so what do you think? is it bad? because my friend and i ended up not sure. but if its bad i'll stop i dont want to hurt anyone.
Hello! Let me see if I can help.
So, there's nothing wrong with using resources designed for children when you're an adult, for the most part.
You're not taking resources from children or even interacting with children [though that's not even necessarily an immediate issue, depending on the situation], you're just using an accessible website with a lot of information on things you might've missed.
It can be very hard to find websites with accessible language, especially when you're new to a subject and there should be no shame in using something designed for people younger than you if it's helpful and its not hurting anyone.
I don't quite understand where your friend is coming from, to be honest. Using "perverted" and "weird", both harsh terms for something harmless, to describe this doesn't really make sense to me.
But I understand that it's upset you, understandably! So let me be clear:
No, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Using Scarleteen and websites like Teen Vogue are both perfectly fine, regardless of your age. They're targeted towards children, but children aren't the only ones who can use them.
It absolutely hurts no one for you to read their articles and learn. In fact, it's a good thing you're learning from these websites and showing them to other people you know. That only helps websites like that.
It's not bad in the least, Anon. I'd encourage you to keep using them, especially if they're helping you learn easily. That's literally awesome! [I'm honored to be among those you're learning from! <3]
Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <3
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So I understand that it is extremely difficult to know which type of fur is more ethical/sustainable/less damaging to the environment due to bias coming from basically all sides of the discussion, however, what would you recommend for consumption of fur products? Do you have any "best practices" for trying to reduce one's impact in general? I rarely buy fur, I mostly get it second or third hand if I get it at all and use scraps and such as much as possible. Overall I'm not a big consumer, but if I need fur for crafts or something similar, do you have recommendations on how to cause the least harm? Thank you for your contribution to the overall discussion. I think this is important.
Thank you for asking openly! Unfortunately I don't have a clear answer, except #1 below:
The one you have I feel confident that "the most sustainable coat/car/whatever is the one you already own." But, obviously, sometimes you need a new one.
Thrifting Second to that, I figure thrifting is probably best. Or making sure you take what you want when Grandma dies and you clean out her house. Logically, thrifting either one--whichever you find that fits you and your needs--should have a fairly minimal impact. And there are tons of clothes out there that are just about to hit the landfill. (Nice coats, though? Might be a little harder. Probably not too hard.) There could be issues with second-hand stuff, of course. I read in The Scavenger's Manifesto that there was a time when vintage clothes were so popular that demand outstripped supply, and companies just started manufacturing vintage-like clothes. I could imagine a world in which items become so commonly thrifted that it's close to the same price to just buy something new, and that props up the new-product industry. I wonder if Poshmark is popular enough that people are just shipping clothes around and polluting via transportation without really wearing them enough, but all in all, I think second-hand is probably second-best (to the one you already own.)
More sustainable real fur options? I did profile someone who had a roadkill-fur business. But: a simple fox-fur ruff for your coat was thousands of dollars because the economies of scale weren't there, and the company went out of business anyway. If you know and trust someone or can do something like that yourself, great! But that's not a really accessible option for the average American.
More sustainable faux fur options? Not all faux fur is made of microplastics, companies like GACHA and Savian. But...I don't really know how accessible those are, nor have I seen environmental assessments on them.
Sooo...honestly I won't judge what you buy or wear. I'll say that second-hand anything is probably very low-impact, sustainably.
I have to admit there are reasons to buy new. If you buy something on clearance, is it possible you're saving that from a landfill, too?
Once, I spent a whole bunch of Saturdays in a row biking around to garage sales, trying to get a second-hand lamp. So many hours wasted. I found a dirty one for $10 and couldn't get it home on my bike. One weekend my roommate took me in her big car to Walmart and we got a new lamp in a box for $7. No shopping around, no hoping to get lucky, just "there it is, and I can return it if it doesn't work." So...while secondhand is almost certainly more sustainable, I also won't blame anyone who wants to just buy new.
Another sustainability thing: I also recommend trying to ensure your coat fits your parameters really well, like your size, do you want hoods and pockets, do you think it looks good, so you don't get in the habit of stuffing it in your back closet because you don't like it and buying another.
Sorry I don't have a simple answer!
EDIT: I now realize I have written this as though Anon was asking about a coat, but their ask is more about crafts. Uuuuuuummmm gosh, I don't know. Faux fur can be so much cheaper and easier to find than real. And not everyone has a thrift store nearby. I know I don't, except that little store that sells used things for 150% of the new price. If I was doing a craft...I'd probably start with the fur someone gave me for free and then if I needed more I'd probably just order faux so I don't have to drive 150 miles to risk it at a thrift.
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As someone who is partly deaf, I love that deaf Tim stuff. But hear me out for something that could work for either of them. What if on complete accident when both the Bats and Rouges hear about Tim's disability, the Rouges are the ones who do a better job with not looking down on Tim. Yes they add things to help him, like for Deaf Tim Joker would also use ASL as he monologs to make sure that Tim can understand him or with Blind Tim Riddler makes puzzle rooms themed around telling the difference in textures or he reads all the riddles out loud.
Meanwhile the Bats are. They *tried* ok? But they keep over compensating because they worry about Tim. Unlike the Rouges who don't pull their punches, during training the Bats do start pulling punches and going a little easier on Tim. Dick keeps trying to do things for Tim that Tim knows he can do. Bruce keeps taking him off cases that involve in person investigation. Damian keeps saying things about how all tasks should be left to him because clearly he's the superior one (if it's early Damian, later on when they're on better terms he wouldn't be as assholish about it but also keeps trying to take over tasks for Tim)
I'm really really glad that you vibed with the AU.
As far as your additions, I 100% agree. Having "good intentions" for people can still be harmful and frustrating. That's why, in these AUs, Tim tries to hide his disability until he's able to prove his efficiency. It's dealer's choice whether the Bats choose to acknowledge the evidence or are still doubting his capabilities.
I think the fic from the OG post has a scene where Babs, Cass, and Tim meet up to discuss the microaggressions they face from the Bats due to their respective disabilities. The sequel definitely has cute interactions between Damian and Tim. Damian refuses for anyone to treat his "rival" as weak or incapable. Peak siblings energy.
The funny part I find about this would be the Rogues accommodating Tim's disabilities just so they can defeat him. If Joker learned ASL for Tim, he'd probably research the hell out of how to look intimidating and scary while doing it (since, depending on Tim's hearing loss, Joker can't effectively utilize the vocal tone skills he's trained to be terrifying). Riddler would treat it as another puzzle and mental exercise (his Riddles would likely increase in accessibility for multiple disabilities as time progresses. He wants to challenge folks by their thinking abilities, not by their ability to test within the constraints placed on them. Perhaps, after his research and new implementations, he even starts targeting schools that unfairly places confines on their students [from both a socioeconomic standpoint and from improper accommodations]).
Anyways, I would love a fic that highlights some of the Bats' treatment of Tim and how not to interact with folks of different disabilities. Stuff like infantilizing, doing tasks for the person without permission, assuming what someone can handle, and disregarding them. It'd be cool to watch Tim try open communication (asking boundaries and what level of assistance the person desires) with all of them. For some, that's all that's needed. They have a clear guideline of "that shit was not okay" and the lines of communication are open for them to ask clarification in the future. For others, they listen to Tim, agree to change, and still pull that shit. I personally vote for Tim getting petty.
I feel like Babs and Cass would be the ones to understand the most that Tim can do anything he sets his mind to (he's so incredibly stubborn that he'd probably even be able to steal LexCorp from Luthor if he was motivated enough. He most likely even has plans already drawn for it ready to implement at any point). Duke would probably understand how others' perceptions of Tim affect him.
I also kill for Tim utilizing WE resources to bring aid and accommodations based on more specific audiences (such as how kids in the foster system, LGBT youth, and those with disabilities [both mental and physical] disportionately make up the homeless population).
I'm rambling a bit because sociology is a passion of mine. I'd get a higher education on the subject if I had the money.
Anyways, I love considering such perspectives in fanfiction. Let me know if there's other stuff I should add to this AU!
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