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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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✓ If the player is romancing Astarion, and he stayed a spawn.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3edit#astarion#astarion ancunin#astarion x tav#tavstarion#miyku#baldurians#usermorvaris#userwolfkissed#elminsters#userjai#userorion#userwaterdeep#useryuno#userairika#oc: maleane#maleane/astarion#my gifs#i wanted to try something new#and wanted to see if the red would work on more dramatic lighting#which i'm not sure tbh but i spent so much time on this sdfsdfsd#anyways the fact that spawn astarion can't stop smooching tav is something that can be so special
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Another year has passed, and with it the opportunity to reflect back on all that has happened. While my growth was not as dramatic as last year, I can still see lots of positive change.
I'll never have enough ways to say thank you for all the love and support you have given me this year. On to 2025!
(2023 summary here!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#art summary#Since last year's independent variable was PD-WWX; this year I used Lan Wangji.#Unfortunately his appearances were not very evenly distributed this year! Lots of LWJ's early in the year#then a dead period in the middle. He is forever my silly rabbit. I love drawing him!#If I have to put a label on this year; I'd describe it as 'experimental'. I pushed myself to do llots of new things!#I drew lots for dungeon meshi and that really boosted my growth. More body types -clothing details - expressions!#Ryoko Kui is a great artist to learn from and It made me realize that I had a lot to gain from doing more studies.#I also started working on a whole new genre of art! While it has taken a backburner spot - I'm working on a game now!#Digital art was my enemy last year but I have been getting a feel for it now.#Goals for this year is to 1) keep working on my personal projects 2) finish PD-MDZS! and 3) practice animation!#I didn't (couldn't) draw as much as I did last year...but I had to take a lesson in humility and taking care of myself.#Drawing is something I do 'for fun' but there were many times it became more stressful than it should.#I'm still learning how to find and maintain balance with everything life throws at me.#We are all works of progress and I am trying very hard to love the process and the journey! I don't really know my destination!#But I will keep taking steps forwards. I never want to be stuck and lost as I once was.#If 2024 was a rough year for you too; We're in this together. Let's keep taking steps together. No matter how small.#Love you all so very much. You've given me strength on the darkest days. Thank you thank you thank you.
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quick exu trio sketches :')
#critical role#critical role fanart#dorian storm#orym of the air ashari#fearne calloway#cr 3#bells hells#critical doodles#i've been so frustrated with my art lately its been great! /s#so going back to the basics trying to figure out something new idk#but i'm happy with these little sketches
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Texting Your Boyfriend Evan Buckley
(aka: giving him a heart attack most days)
a/n: okay these were so fun to make lol. i’ve also never really thought about how buck texts, so it was fun to try and figure that out (and i’m still not completely sure about what i stuck with). anyway, enjoy<3
warnings: none, reader is slightly chronically online (i think??), reader’s gender/race/body type are not specified
part two
notes: likes/comments/reblogs would be much appreciated if you liked this<33
click here for my masterlist!
click here to be added to my taglist!
click here to read my request rules!
taglist: @officiallyalbino @wanniiieeee @dreams-encapsulated-in-glamour @buckandeddiesverison @catkight @tatyhend @emilysuperswag @kulteule @korosevren @nyx3028 @sporadicmakerwerewolf @sherlocksbaby2323 @essienoe @p14th0mps0n @celestixldarling @brooke0297 @zelfanswhenshecan @avengersgirllorianna @bingbongsupremacy @nishinoyahhh @alyssanicole01 @outof-spite @supernatural-bangtanboys @x0xchristine @pear-1206 @swanshells @tpwkstiles @lulubelle14 @cannibalhellhound @odetolocksmiths @rafecameronsloverrrrr @charlie-winchester94 @hollandxxmix @evysian @starbyun92939798 @maxinish @uhmidkmuch @theking-mustdie @daeswash @911varietyposts @superlock-in-the-tardis @lilsquatch7898 @hufflepuff-spidey @starboygf @wnbweasley @damndirtylitch @eva-tts5 @alexxavicry @sammiejane22 @boybandbaby (if you interacted with my taglist post and are not on this list, make sure your blog is visible in searches or i can’t tag you!)
#enjoy while i finish the rest of my prompt requests<3#i'm trying something new with this okay?? just hear me out#911 abc#evan buckley#evan buckley x plus size!reader#evan buckley x plus size reader#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley headcanon#evan buckley fic#evan buckley imagine#evan buckley oneshot#911 x plus size!reader#911 x plus size reader#911 x reader#911 fic#911 imagine#911 oneshot#911 texts#evan buckley texts
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concept designs for the zombie apocalypse au i'm working on - pt. 1 (small au details under the cut regarding their designs)
--- mike's design
always wears his bomber jacket (normally decorated with pins) - was given to him by nancy when he was ten and he grew into it
signature weapon is a machete - likes its versatility + has terrible aim with guns: the only one he can kind of use is a shotgun, but he rarely uses it because the kickback fucks with his shoulder
will's design
always wears a long sleeve around his waist "just in case" (normally his military jacket or a flannel)
watch was given to him by jonathan when he was ten
signature weapon is a hunting rifle - is the second best with guns after lucas + follows the st canon of him using a rifle in s1e1
el's design
wardrobe always consists of one thing from a different party member (ex. gray hoodie is actually mike's, next day she wears a lucas jacket or a will flannel, etc.) it makes her feel safe :'D
doesn't have a signature weapon + is very versatile - just tends to use whatever's on hand at times or the environment around her
---
other notes: i fucking love apocalypse shit :P i'm still working on the whole outline of course, but if you're wondering, the infection i'm imagining would be a mix between days gone + l4d + a smidgen of tlou while the world is similar to tlou and a little of twd. i'll include some upside down stuff with the infection to make it feel like st :D i'm currently planning where i want this universe to go, with backstories and relationship dynamics between the entire party - byler will be the main romantic relationship, but i'll also dedicate some time to lumax too. however, the biggest theme surrounding this au is found family for me, so while romance will still be important, i want to put a lot of focus on the entire group's dynamic as a whole!
#i've already designed and drawn the other three babies <3 i'm just trying to pace the posts and solidify details#also please ignore the moderate art style change i'm trying something new and its working#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#el hopper#willelmike#the party#byler#stranger things fanart#st apoc au#<- tag for this au#just bc i intend to be drawing way more of it!!#sammi's art
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Miku? Heul leise.
#hatsune miku#miku fanart#miku#miku worldwide#chantal akerman#fack ju göhte#german miku#German stuff#Chantal Miku is my contribution to society and to the Miku trend#I've seen exactly two other German mikus. bernd das miku and miku in a beautiful historical dress#I'm hoping to combine the energy here#historical fashion but I'm talking about 2013#stop... it's not called “suck me Shakespeer” in english...#brother ewwww#anyway I tried something new with the colors and rendering here :3#i really like how it turned out so I'm probably gonna try it again
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induced to me by my contemporary art exam AND a rewatch of rebels after years that. got me into sabezra unexpectedly AND i updated krita and there were many new brushes i wanted to try
refs (IF U CAN PLS HELP ME FIND THE ORIGINAL COSPLAYERS i can't find anything EDIT: found them!! they're starwars_irl on insta and @rebelartistwren / lionesscosplay on insta. thank you guys <3) and ✨colored version✨ under the cut
i can't find themmmmm I've been looking for 2 days but all i found were uncredited reposts
anyway they look amazing
i really wanted to try greyscaling but I'm not sure it looks good. idk. + while i was making it i was listening to i love you by fontaines d.c. (GREAT SONG FROM A GREAT UNDERRATED BAND) and. the grey fit into that mood much better
also two versions without the sketch lines. where ezra looks happier even if they're uglier
#i didn't expect to like them as a ship ngl. but there are some moments that recall kanera (AND I LOVE THEM) especially if you've read#a new dawn. and IDK COOL!! probably i didn't ship them from the start because. in s1-s2 they're just kids and everytime i reach s3 i keep#brainrotting on thrawn <3 and kallus <3 and zeb <3 idk i kinda forgot about them and all the scenes they were in LMAO#ALSO. i love you is truly a wonderful song wtf?? it's not something I'd associate to sabezra BUT probably after having listened to it for a#month. and having drawn this in the meantime. i found some connections. the fact that the songs alternated between that melodic part#that talks about love to the other verses about (very generally) society. just felt like how their relationship would go. rapidly switching#between the fast paced fights for the rebellion to the calm of the preparation they require that can allow them for some tenderness. ALSO#ezra is so much “if there was sunshine it was never on me / so close the rain; so pronounced is the pain”#and sabine is pretty much “you only open the window; never open up the door” sometimes. especially before her darksaber arc#btw i know this song is about ireland and their relationship with theid country BUT it just prompted me to their grey figures#and colorful background. also. there's something about klimt making some of the most tender representations of love ever imo BUT keep#choosing to represent rather dark iconographies whenever he's asked to do something (I'm thinking about the medicine panels for the uni)#like. there is a similar contrast in there as well. also i like that. ursa had a portrait of herself in her home that referenced klimt#like. it's ursa in her prime; in a literal golden age. i can imagine sabine associating a good moment - one of her bests - to such an#expressive decoration. and maybe stripping colors away when that moment is gone and all that remains is the memory and feeling#OKAY WHY DID I TALK SO MUCH i must've put more thought on this that i previously thought. crazy#it started as a fun experiment to try krita's oil brushes. *in david byrne's voice* how did i get here?#star wars#sw#star wars rebels#star wars fanart#star wars rebels fanart#ezra bridger#sabine wren#ezrabine#sabezra#sabine wren fanart#ezra bridger fanart#sw fanart#g posting
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webgott // "what is this feeling?" from wicked
there's a strange exhilaration in such total detestation
#ok so. this started out as a silly entry for my server fandom challenge last month (hi rachel)#but then i locked in and made it an actual video lmao#please note there is ZERO wicked plot parallel here i'm truly just using the song#anyway this was such a blast and i'm really happy with how it turned out!#chatterbox said it had the same energy as my crazyexspn videos which is EXACTLY what i was going for <3#i like to try something new with every video i make#so with this one it was making use of split screen + the table transition#(just using an opacity mask + keyframes nothing crazy)#OH also: johnny chuck and skinny get cameos because#while the video is about joe and web ''loathing'' each other i also wanted to highlight the people who loathe webgott lmao#band of brothers#bobedit#hbo war#hbowaredit#webgott#joe liebgott#david webster#kbsd.amv#kbsd.hbow#wow just under the wire with 19 tags. i need less director's commentary in these things
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mercenaries the typa person to say "is anyone gonna fall in love with that?" and then not wait for an answer
reblogs > likes btw \(^_^)/
zoom-ins under cut :3
the polka dot brush texture was made by ggutinho on DeviantArt btw!!
#i know Dell's hand positioning looks wrong but i literally didnt know where else to put them so i guess he's grabbin spys ass#i'm trying out a new style of shading because i hate the way i shade and i need to change something#also experimenting with colours and filters#i think i like it#tf2#tf2 fanart#engineer tf2#spy tf2#practical espionage#EngieSpy#napoleon complex#don't tell anyone but i had to trace my own legs when drawing spys because i couldn't get the perspective right FUEGFES#do you guys like my shoes FSFGES#it looks kinda off since they're so detailed and shit but i make this for myself so <3#also hi i gues i'm back :*
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (。’▽’。)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡^▽^♡
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@wickjump you will never not be an absolute genius
#UTDR#UTMV#Wickjump#I just need these tags I have to keep them#I wanna print them and put them on my wall#This is everything to me#He just instantly becomes that like ''I'm the only one who does any work around here!!''#But if you try to help he's like ''but that's mine :< that's my job I do that :c''#Nightmare is gonna have to invest in so many star stickers#Do you think they have one of those star charts for Cross to put them on?#And the others have like. maybe 1 or 2 stars and Cross has like 45#But still refuses to believe he has earned anything around here#And him being mildly terrified of Horror#He's got that Jason Voorhees intimidating aura lol#I love Killer being like finally I don't have to do dishes! and then immediately trying to distract the guy who does dishes#Nightmare must think he hates having plates or something#No he just can't see Cross and leave him alone apparently#Also I feel like this adds a new layer to the saga of ''why are you always in Cross's bed''#Because I can imagine one time Killer invited Cross to sleep in his bed instead#But Cross took one look at the clothes all over his floor and junk everywhere and was like ''I have to leave right now immediately'' lol#Anyway I love reading your tags and posts so much they make my day <3
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**SHAKES INFECTED DOGGY BAG OF TREATS**
Hey hey! It's ya favorite chef here with a HORROR FIC this time! Peep the tags and the note before proceeding <3 It's time for some INFECTED BEES! 💃💃
Alt banner version
#infectedbeesau#rwby#bumbleby#yang xiao long#blake belladonna#idk maybe I'll upload this once a week?#I'm trying something new with presentation on this one#Please please please pay mind to the tags and my notes#this fic is not for everyone#move on if this isn't your cup of tea#Thank you Ghoul for the worms <3#I hope this delivers#Smut not until chapter 6 but it'll be good we gotta slowcook that shit#trust
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by#and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is#You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)
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inhuman
#recently i've been thinking about my drawing process#so i'm trying out something new. i didnt do lineart#just colored over the sketch#art#fanart#ryoji mochizuki#marie persona#persona 4#persona 3#spoiler(sorta)#persona 4 golden
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An eye for a life, unquestionably worth it (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Siffrin#Bonnie#Blood#It's been *checks watch* nine months??? since I last drew an empty eye socket???#Not even ZEX got that treatment how could this be :0 It's such a Look#I guess it's only been a couple months since I posted Diaryfic!Edgar but that was drawn a while ago - Sif is new and fresh blood <3#I'm sure they're stoked about it lol sorry Sif#That really was my entire motivation I just wanted to draw eye horror and blood on him lol poor Sif#But also I got to practice Bonnie :D Again I'm sure they're stoked about the situation#Gosh that'd be such a scary situation for a kid :'0 And feeling guilty about it weh </3#Their name being called and it's scary and sad even tho Sif's just trying to comfort! Weh#If I thought about it in a Bit less of an angst mood (lol) I imagine the other adults would flock to Sif both to protect/help him#But also to keep him out of Bonnie's line of sight - the less time spent looking the less traumatic hopefully :(#There's something Very about Sif getting blood - his own or anyone's really - on his cloak :0#Something he's had for a long long time and Something Happens - it's just Very I dunno of what but Very#Really fun to draw the black and white blood splatter ♪ Shaped character design paired with soft details ah <3#I've been really into that hazy fuzzy eye style lately too it's really fun to ''tone'' the eye rather than ''line'' it#It's not something I think about that much so I don't do it often! But it's quite effective :D
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