#i'm the anon

[shinobicyrus]

Why do you need your earbuds to have a wire so badly?

I am assuming this is about a post I reblogged like six months ago when I went off on forced technological enshitification and the slow erosion of consumer options. But sure, I'll bite.

Why do I "need" my earbuds to have a wire? I dunno, Anon, maybe I:

Don't want to have to worry about recharging my earbuds.

Don't want my earbuds to be even easier to lose.

Don't want my earbuds to need separate accessories that are as easy to lose as the earbuds.

Prefer to have bluetooth turned off on my devices for security and safety reasons.

Like being able to seamlessly plug my earbuds into my computer, my MP3 player, or any other device with a headphone jack.

Don't want to spend 50 dollars on decent wireless earbuds when I can do all the above things with a pair of solid earbuds that cost me like $12 during the Obama administration.

Don't care about what kinds of headphones or earbuds people wear but don't like what it says about our society when other people apparently care what kind of earbuds I'm wearing so much they have send an Anonymous ask to interrogate me about it.

And I guess, more abstractly, because fuck Apple. That's why.

[faffreux]

it's weird to be attracted to an ugly frog like wtf is even your taste in men

i won't argue with you about whether or not fawful is ugly but it is weird yes, i agree

i have long accepted that i am weird

[tacticaltaxonomist]

Declutter Tumblr

The new layout it a whole mess. Thankfully Xkit can already help with a bunch of this! I'm sure it'll give more options soon.

Vanilla Tumblr:

(I have marked in red what can be removed. The tabs can be set not to stick, so you will really only see them at the top of your dash. Empty box on the left for hidden notifications and shop sparkle, i just didn't have any. I'm EU so no Live for me).

Xkit Rewritten Tumblr:

The settings I use:

[djcarnationsblog]

Wonderful, excellent, show-stopping

Have a Sokouku of appreciation

DUDE

BRIDAL CARRIES THOUGH

BUT MAKE IT FUNNIER CAUSE I CAN TOTALLY SEE CHUUYA JUST HAULING DAZAI UP FROM THE FLOOR LIKE "What the fuck, can you do ANYTHING without me???" and Dazai's just content to sit there like a cat yearning attention-

Somehow this evolved into a bit more of a hurt/comfort vibe than I intended but I hope this is still sufficiently humorous, anon! :D I had fun drawing noodle Dazai alskdjfjj

[akashicrecord]

I have a vagina but I enjoy receiving anal sex. I go to a Christian therapist (not my choice; long story) and she says I'm surrendering to a life of "anal anguish" over "vaginal victory"

Ohhh that's not..

[lxvvie]

fuck nasty!Ghost who shows you how much he misses you.

You were out running errands, leaving Simon, home from his latest deployment, to his own devices. All was going well—so you thought—until you heard the telltale ping of your phone and saw that he had texted you.

Simon probably needed you to pick something up for him on the way home. Mm. Doable. You opened the text under that innocent assumption.

And you know what they say about making assumptions.

Because right there in front of your very eyes was a picture of underwear. Your underwear. Your favorite pair of underwear. Your favorite pair of underwear you'd been searching for while you were getting dressed this morning.

They were covered in cum. Simon's cum.

You receive another text not even a second later: Miss you, sweetheart.

It was a miracle you didn't drop your phone.

[magicicephoenix]

*Gives Sun headphones so that he doesn’t have to listen to everyone saying “Rats make me crazy” anymore*

*HOWEVER*

*IT’S ACTUALLY A BLUETOOTH CONNECTED HEADPHONES.*

*AND I JUST PUT ON THE RATS MAKE ME CRAZY ONE HOUR LOOP MWAHHAAHHA!!*

oh my sweet summer child. don't you know that red means STOP?

[egophiliac]

do skully have pokemon?

Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.

(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)

[buttercupshands]

I took that as a challenge so now it's a full comic of me making Siffrin happier by the second

And a small bonus

Because there's not one but two Siffrins who deserve some happiness in their lives

even if by just getting their favorite snack

[collophora]

I resurrected my tumblr just to post this

[pingledoofus]

This is a damn work of literary art

authors note: heheh, lets hope this actually works this time. this is my first oneshot, inspired by an anon on @the-kr8tor 's blog! im hoping to turn this into a series and give it a backstory if people like it. yes, @pinksugarscrub, i know you want more prowler!hobie stuff, its on its way <3

Tags: farmer!hobie brown x reader, set in yorkshire (yes im showing off my homeland), pure tooth-rotting fluff, happy happy stuff, no use of y/n, sheep mentioned!

anyways, enjoy!

They had told you that a day in the life of a farmer couldn't be easy. There was much to do and not much time to do it in, but you had still pursued your dream, and here you were. Each season brough new things to take care of, and new tasks to complete, which is why you find yourself keeping track of each movement you complete.

You awoke every morning at seven exactly, two hours after your husband- merely saying those words made you giddy- and begin with the allotment to the left of your farmhouse, no matter the weather. By the time you had watered every plant, and taken care that each tomato and apple and pear were in tip top shape, Hobie had tended to the sheep, cleaning out the pens and bathing them and feeding them, before allowing them to graze in the grass.

In this fine morning of spring, there were the baby sheep to tend to, checking their health and tagging their ears to protect them from predators, which he always took care of before you, claiming he knew you’d develop an attachment to them and he wouldn't be able to sell them in the coming winter. You knew he was just as fond of them. 

“Done wi’ plants, love?” He asks, not looking up from the baby sheep he was currently tagging, who was sitting surprisingly calmly on his lap. 

“Mhm, and I baked some bread.” You sit beside him, tearing off a piece. He opens his mouth, expecting you to feed him. You roll your eyes, obliging with a grin. The baby sheep on his lap lets out a sharp bleat, head snapping towards the bread. 

“Nuh uh, missy,” Hobie chides the sheep, “You’ve already been fed.”

You giggle, reaching to stroke the sheep as Hobie sets it down to run off towards its mother. 

“Was that the last of ‘em?” You ask, unable to stop the smile forming on your face as you straighten his chequered shirt collar. 

“Hmmm. Just gotta figure out who’ll buy ‘em in’ winter.” 

“Have you not named ‘em all, already”

“‘Course I ‘ave” 

“You big softie,” You tease, nudging him. He pretends to be mad, biting at the bread in your hand.

“Oi, oi,” you exclaim, “You're becoming one of ‘em!” 

He tackles you, triumphantly grabbing the bread with a loud whoop. You laugh as he falls forward, resting his head on your lap. 

“Honeybee, I’ve got to harvest the carrots-” 

“Carrots can wait,” He sighs, shutting his eyes, ignoring your sickly sweet nickname for him.

“I have four vegetables on my list today, Bee.” 

He ignores you, pretending to snore. You roll your eyes, flicking his ear lightly. He doesn't budge. 

“Robyn needs tending to.”

At the mention of his favourite horse, he stirred slightly, before falling still again. 

“The vegetables-” 

He interrupts you with a loud fake snore. You resist the urge to giggle. An idea strikes, and you place your hands on his face, pretending to give up, before you attack his neck with tickles. He splutters, sitting up immediately and attacking you back, reaching for your waist. He pulls you close and you swat his hands away, expecting more tickles, and melting when he kisses you instead. 

“Love,” He says softly.

“Hobie,” You reply.

“I hope you baked more bread.” He smirks, and you realise he’d stolen it right out of your lap when he’d kissed you. 

“Hobart!”

this also made me realize how similar the yorkshire and south london dialets are when writing, despite them sounding nothing alike!

[kedreeva]

uh, okay. i'm very scared to ask but : rabbit that's not really a rabbit...?

yeah, there's, like. a small god, shaped like a rabbit, that lives in my yard. I would say it's a normal rabbit except it's not. It won't move from my driveway if I'm trying to drive out and it was there first. I can walk up within a few feet of it, and it will turn and just look at me like what do you want? It's the only rabbit that freaks the hell out of all my birds, they CANNOT be directed or communicated with when this rabbit comes around, they will do nothing but stand on alert and stare at it making a soft warning call. I've caught it SEVERAL times now standing nose to nose with one of my peacocks, and it just looks at me and walks away when I catch them. hawks and falcons and eagles and owls constantly pass over my yard, and it is full of rabbits that do not hide from them, and I've never seen evidence of one being taken. You know the moment you walk into a very dark room and maybe it's a room you've been in before and maybe you don't believe in ghosts, but also it's still dark and your little leftover lizard hindbrain goes "anything could be inside of here waiting for me" the second before you turn on the light? It's like that feeling, except in the shape of a rabbit. i didn't ask for any of that.

[demaparbat-hp]

Smooch

[lesamis]

If you're up for it could you explain what is making the Germany government stuff so funny? I can find news articles about it (a coalition is dissolving? There's been tension for a while?) but they're all fairly serious. Thx!

ohhh, sure thing! i'll do my best!

i'll say upfront: this is a pretty serious thing to happen. our chancellor fired our minister of finance, Lindner, which definitively breaks up the governing coalition. germany will likely have snap elections at a moment in which far-right parties are polling extremely well. if news coverage about it seems like people are Worried, that's because, well, they are.

however. the reason it's funny is because our minister of finance was fired. ministers aren't really... ever fired. like, it's not a done thing. i'll fully admit i didn't even know it was an option until yesterday. and our minister of finance wasn't just anyone, he was one of the most mocked and hated figures in politics to germans who vote anywhere left of center.

the coalition that governed until yesterday was made up of the green party, the social democrats, and the neoliberal party (FDP). the FDP is infamous (and i mean, my parents already raised me to hate them for that) for playing kingmaker in coalition governments: they never get all that many votes, but they get just enough that whoever they agree to form a government with will probably succeed. they then tend to force extreme concessions from their coalition partners, because hey, if we walk off, you can't govern at all! so you better play along!

for the past three years, this behaviour has been extremely frustrating for germans who voted for greens or social democrats, because policy from their faction was constantly being blocked by the FDP and often by Lindner personally. the FDP received 11,5% of votes in 2021, but to many of us, it felt as if they were the only party who really had any say in the governing coalition. it made the green and social democratic coalition partners look spineless and passive.

and now, i invite you to imagine how on the day of the US election results, the day the whole world rolled their eyes at the sheer fucking stupidity and pointlessness of it all, at NINE IN THE EVENING, just as germans are getting ready to settle in to bed to dream of nightmare global politics -

the news suddenly breaks that our notoriously invisible chancellor just decided to fire Lindner for that exact behaviour. this chancellor comes out and says, on camera, to the entire sleepy nation, that acting the way Lindner did - blocking necessary policies, refusing to approve budgets unless his party's interests were met - was childish, selfish, irresponsible, and unfit for government, so, whoops, he had to go. shame. coalition over, i guess.

so, politically, that was a long-needed but never-expected moment of triumph for those of us who think the FDP is a clown show made up of human TESLA shares, and it came at a hysterically funny moment.

on a personal level, i can barely explain how uniquely hateable Lindner has always been. he's what would happen if a stock index graph came to life. he hates poor people with a relish; he mocks welfare recipients and would ax minimum wages in a second. he's everyone's business major roommate who shows up in boat shoes fresh off a yacht to discuss NFTs with you. throughout the entire time that he's used his rich boy policy blackmail strategy, he's been smug about it, and he was never taken to task for it, and millions of germans have been longing to throw rotten fruit in his face since 2017. and now we finally get to do it. via memes. on the day of trump's election win.

so that's why it's funny.

[cute-sucker]

note: hands and rafe?? fluff!! this came to mind. i wanna talk about it so bad so y'all are forced to listen to my rambling idc. (might do a nsfw one if y'all want it...i'm sorry)

extra note; this is dedicated to my first anon; the beloved 🪐 anon <3

˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉‧₊˚.

when rafe's hands are on your waist, dragging you close it means he's possesivally telling everyone who you belong to, and especially when his hand drags down to that small base of your back that you love so much, feeling yourself flush

when rafe hands reach for your, needing that small way to be close to you, you know to move closer to him, knowing that he needed you and that you needed to be there for him.

when rafe hands hold your hand, a calloused large hand weaved with your tiny one you can almost feel the shyness in the gesture, the vulnerability he's offering you, that softness that you could only get from him

when rafe's hands wrap around your shoulder, he's drunk and laughing at stupid joke as you give him a cheesy smile. you only need a squeeze on the shoulder to know he's completly yours, as his eyes are that dazzling steel blue you know too well

when rafe's hands drums on your thigh, you look up to him looking concentrated on whatever he's doing. he needs to keep his hand there, not caring about the prying looking that the guys give him, or the viciously annoyed looks girls toss your way. he just needs to close to you

when rafe's hands brushes your hair away, a small graze on your forehead, or while braiding your hair, you know he's reminding something. there is something about hair that drag him back to his youth, you think, because he gets teary eyed almost.

when rafe's hand grab at your elbow you know he's pissed with his rough touch. your elbow is some place that he drag you to turn around. usually it means you will be taked to in a demeaning way, snark clear in his tone, yet that soothing touch on your elbow tells you another story

when rafe's hands fiddles with your fingers, you know he needs something to drag him back to reality, that soft distracted of touch of his makes you hide your smile; something that he'll snap, 'what,' when he notices you looking at him in that shy way

when rafe's hand cups your jaw, it could be two things. it means he needs to look at his eyes to ground himself and know that you're still here with your wide doe eyes, and a clear look on his face, or it means he wants to see the look on your face when he teases you, a clear flush spreading across your face as he drags your face up to kiss you

when rafe's hand lingers on your wrist, it means he's checking your heartbeat to make sure nothing has scared you. sometimes you jump up, and his hand quickly travels to that delicate part of your body to check your heartbeat. you always find yourself feeling so grateful that he cares about you so much

when rafe's hands reach to wrap around your stomach, where he tucks his head in that hollow of your shoulder, you know that you need to ease him. you need to take care of him if it's by giving him something like a sweet kiss, or whispering a promise that will make him happier

when rafe's hands feel for you at night, a urgency in his touch hoping that he won't make contact with a cold bedsheet, and instead he'll make contact with your warm body which is twisted along his own as if the two of you were melded into one and another

when rafe's hands stretch the waistband of your sweatpants, you can't help but laugh, at how silly he is, how touchy he is. but he's like how poets say, the other half of your soul, and you let him do his silly acts

when rafe's hand grazes your eyes, you know you'll find him leaning over to kiss both of your fluttering eyes, a calm soft touch that will make you sigh. he knows sometimes you need it to calm down, that gentle touch that'll make you feel safe.

when rafe's hands stay reached to your side, you feel more loved than you ever have.

[originalartblog]

Part one here, part two ↓

Dazai is very eager to get to work today idk...